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Aug. 23, 2024 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:00:41

COPS AND ROBBER - EP79: THANKS, BASTARDS!

You can't kick perps in the head, female cops are still absolutely useless, perps should be shot in the foot, and most anti-cop songs are written by rich kids with guitars who have never experienced crime.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	I said to me, for all the good that you have ever done, without you, what would I be?
	you.
	For every time your gun goes off, a new rebel is born.
	So when there's 41 bullets, there's 41,000 thorns in your side.
	We'll take a ride down to Precinct 29, and we'll sing and dance and break the code of silence.
	Great song!
	Great song!
	Thank you, Governor.
	Thank you, governor.
	To the mayor and the commissioner.
	Your monster is alive now.
	She's taken to the streets.
	Crashing through your upper house and tearing at the seats.
	For all the times you signed your name, someone out there died.
	Alright, fuck off.
	So many fucking bourgeois songs about how much cops suck.
	That was leftover crack, is it?
	And it's all about, thank you governor, thank you cops for making more cop haters by being assholes.
	I have a new theory about all these anti-cop songs.
	I think to be a really good musician, and that guy is.
	That's a good band.
	Sorry.
	But it is.
	You have to be kind of autistic and spend a lot of time at home.
	And so you haven't been out much.
	And so you haven't been confronted by police much.
	So you mastered the guitar, but you haven't mastered life.
	And you just glom on to other people's experiences.
	And they go, yeah, the cops fucked with us.
	We weren't even doing anything.
	And you're like, all right, fuck the cops.
	We're doing that to my friends.
	But you were never fucked.
	He's living vicariously.
	Yeah.
	So other people's, you know.
	Welcome back to Cops and Robber.
	That was the robber interjecting a brief cameo.
	We have a lot of cops tonight.
	Bobby is back.
	Bobby, where were you?
	On vacation.
	Yeah, on vacation.
	You went on a gaycation?
	Stig's is back.
	Stig, you said you had plans tonight.
	You canceled them for us?
	They got canceled on me.
	My friends suck.
	What do you want me to tell you?
	It sounds like it was a chick.
	No, it wasn't.
	It wasn't.
	Okay.
	I wish.
	Medium Jon is back!
	What's up, guys?
	We haven't seen you in many months.
	Many moons.
	It's been a while.
	Big Jon is unfortunately checking out Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top tonight.
	So you will be the only Jon here.
	It's Z Top.
	And then, of course, we have Ron.
	I'm here.
	Who made no food.
	Matty made food.
	You made nothing.
	Unbelievable.
	Also, pasta salad and baked chicken.
	It's excellent.
	Delicious.
	Where'd you get the chicken from?
	I got a Stop and Shop chicken.
	The store?
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	You know, word on the street is that Stop and Shop is on its last days.
	Yeah.
	Could be.
	They allow 20% losses in profits.
	I don't know how anyone could live in that situation.
	They allow 20% loss?
	Yeah, like when we used to, when I was at Restaurant Depot, we would have, like, less than 1% in, like, damages and losses.
	They allow Up to like 20%.
	They call that shrinkage.
	Of their inventory.
	For like shoplifting and stuff?
	Yeah, that's all that.
	Inventory control.
	A lot of that stuff happens internally with like employees.
	Yeah, I mean we would at any given day we would have like four and a half million dollars of product in the store and we would have like eight thousand dollars missing.
	At Restaurant Depot.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's like .006541% of 1%.
	Matty, are you sure about this?
	Because Kamala said that it was price gouging.
	How the fuck do you know this?
	Because I was the manager there.
	Where?
	At Restaurant Depot.
	No shit.
	Yeah, for years.
	Oh, fuck.
	After my life of crime, I went legit.
	Oh, don't fucking rob that place.
	Why?
	I just go with you.
	I'm still a building contractor.
	Oh, man.
	At the Herb and Spice in Ottawa, we fed a whole punk house with The groceries from that store.
	We were all poor, but we were eating like kings.
	Yep.
	Tofutti, veggie bacon.
	We just robbed that place.
	And then that had to be repopulated.
	Yeah, but retail supermarkets allow up to like 20%.
	That's crazy.
	20%?
	Yeah.
	Isn't that any company's ideal net?
	That could be somebody's profit margin, yeah.
	So, that's your net.
	You're gone.
	Yeah.
	Why do you think they're on their last legs?
	Wow, what a bunch of fucking dummies.
	So welcome back, cops.
	Welcome back, Matty.
	Unfortunately, I forgot my computer, as my daughter used to call it.
	So I don't have any notes.
	I have nothing.
	I'm just flying.
	Flying blind.
	I'm just on the fly.
	So we might as well start the show.
	And we know the rough order.
	It's cop talk.
	It's female cops.
	It's cop emails.
	And then we take calls.
	Ryan, you've got a lot of hats tonight.
	Yes.
	Am I missing anything?
	I think that's about it.
	Oh, you're doing a funny guy.
	Yes.
	What's your funny guy tonight?
	Sir Ryan Tingle Langham.
	Oh, like a fancy lad from England.
	Yeah.
	Like Candace Owens' husband.
	You're a lord.
	Yes.
	Lord of the faggots.
	No.
	No, no.
	That's kind of your nickname on the street.
	No, it's not.
	I have not went to lord school for 15 years to be called lord of the faggots!
	I knew a guy, Donny Hickling, in Ottawa.
	He wanted to become a cop and he was filling out the form and it was like, Donny Hickling, street number, 34, street name.
	He was like, I don't really have a street name.
	I guess people call me like Don.
	So he wrote Don.
	No.
	I almost fell off the stool.
	He was the guy, I grew up with him.
	His mother said to him, whatever you do, I don't care if it's a plumber or whatever, be the best you can be.
	So he goes, Mom, I want to become a stripper.
	And she goes, become the best.
	So he was Cowboy Don.
	He had a hat on.
	He had guns.
	He was dancing around.
	Donny Hickling, later Donny O'Brien, Ottawa, Canada.
	Look it up if you don't believe me.
	You have to get a little closer to the mic than that, Mr. McGuinness.
	I'm aware of the mic.
	Your British accent is annoying.
	Formal request to change guys.
	So let's start the show!
	Let's go to the cop talk.
	Great jam.
	Great fucking jam.
	I have all this on my phone, of course.
	It just doesn't look very good to be hosting a show looking at your phone.
	Our first clip is a guy who won't let a cop play with his balls.
	I wouldn't let a cop play with my balls.
	He's on Adderall.
	take an unusual turn after stopping to talk to a man he knows and who he allowed to drive his personal drive.
	- Is that his real name, Seaman?
	- It's pretty great that that's his name.
	I think that's the town.
	No, I think that's his name.
	Oh no, is it?
	I think I sent this to you today.
	He doesn't want to play with his balls in Seaman, Ohio.
	He's in his car?
	Oh yeah, yeah, so this is a gay cop who just threw away his entire career because he was horny.
	And he wants to jiggle some... But the crazy thing is, he's recording it.
	Yeah.
	Can you turn this up a little?
	I can't hear the body cam.
	He's the one that's recording it the entire time.
	And the guy, like, I'm no fag, but shouldn't the guy be a smoke show?
	If you're going to, if you're going to throw away, I believe a cop's pension post retirement to death is about $4 million.
	When he's in the office with him, he's going at it like if it was like an 11 plus one, like, like he's going after this guy.
	It's unbelievable.
	Fuck it.
	He's obviously high.
	And wasted, but even if I was a high-waisted fag, I don't know if I would do this under any circumstances.
	You clearly have, we had a dog walker come by the house today, because my family's away, and she's fat, and I like fucking fatties, and I was like, what if she comes up after walking the dog and she tries to fuck me?
	Is this the dog walker we all know?
	No.
	No, not that one.
	And I was like, I might, if she could keep her mouth shut.
	And then I was like, the odds of some random chick, because chicks are about, I would say literally a two hundredth as horny as we are.
	So the idea of her dropping off a dog and the 54-year-old homeowner, her coming up the stairs with her flip flops on and her fat little lemons being like, hey, would you want to, like, after I drop off your dog and, you know, risk me getting fired and all that stuff?
	0% chance.
	Fuck 1 in 200.
	0% chance.
	So fuck one in 200, 0%. - So did you hear that? - Have you looked at a fucking mirror? - But I'm sitting there showering like maybe.
	I should probably wash my foreskin extra close, just in case.
	It could happen.
	People don't want to fuck strangers.
	Faggots in fag neighborhoods down alleyways, yeah maybe.
	Or fags at like a fag, like a dance, like a, there's a thing in Montreal called the Black and Blue, like a big fag convention, yeah okay probably.
	How many dicks do you think he grabbed before he got caught?
	That's not his first time he tried to grab a dick.
	He's reenacting the bad lieutenant.
	You guys have to watch it.
	He fucking berates this guy for the entire day.
	Okay, so now that we know the whole context, let's go back to the very beginning.
	That's the cop you're seeing in Seaman, Ohio.
	Seems to take an unusual turn after stopping to talk to a man he knows and who he allowed to drive his personal truck.
	Stokes is heard making sexual comments to the man.
	Wait, stop.
	I didn't know he knew this guy.
	They definitely fucked.
	Stop it.
	He knows him and he's letting him use his personal vehicle?
	Yeah.
	Why does he have body camera on then?
	This is a totally different story now.
	Now it's one of your bitches.
	It's one of your guys that you fuck.
	We all have the guys we fuck.
	It's the cop's truck he's driving.
	I don't know if that's his, he said he let it drive, but I don't know if that's his particular car.
	But, they definitely fucked, I mean.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Medium John, can you just scooch towards Stig's a bit?
	Look at the fuck.
	Nice!
	Let him jiggle your balls.
	So fags want to jiggle guys' balls?
	That's like guys wanting to jiggle a chick's tits.
	I want to go like that to them.
	I don't really want to go like that to them.
	Would you say no if you got to go like that?
	I wouldn't say no.
	I would happily go like that.
	But it's not something that's on my radar.
	So go, sorry Brian, go back to the beginning again now that we have these new details.
	Seems to take an unusual turn after stopping to talk to a man he knows and who he allowed to drive his personal truck.
	I have some of them.
	I got you underwear on.
	Stokes is heard making sexual comments to the man.
	You can give me five minutes.
	Let me play with you for five minutes.
	Stokes asks the man to meet him at the police department.
	Give me five minutes.
	I don't deserve it.
	That's a scorned lover right there.
	Yeah, I guess I don't deserve it, so I'm going to go follow unauthorized use of motor vehicle on you.
	And also threatens to turn the man in for driving without a license.
	Dude, this is so different than what I thought.
	This is a guy talking to his mistress.
	Yeah.
	Telling his goomar, like, you better fucking do what I say or I'm going to fuck with you.
	He doesn't deserve to get five minutes to play with his balls?
	And you've got to keep your bitches in line.
	So I support this fact.
	Then he should have fucking blew up his pimp hand and smacked that bitch.
	Yeah.
	All you had to do was not turn on the body cam.
	Well, he's wasted.
	He's drunk.
	With fag.
	He's a fag!
	He's drunk on semen.
	In semen.
	Sorry, in semen.
	No, he's drunk on semen, in semen.
	- He's coming to my place for alone time.
	If I don't get alone time-- - No, he's drunk on semen and in semen.
	- I will file a charge on you and I'll have your butt arrested.
	- The two eventually end up at the-- - He watched his language.
	He almost said ass, but he changed it to butt.
	So I want to suck your dick, but I won't say ass.
	That's just a fucking idiot.
	- I'll have your butt-er-up. - The two eventually end up. - So I wanna suck your dick, but I won't say ass. - You know what?
	Your ass. - Keeping it corrupt. - That's just a fucking idiot. - I'm a corrupt fag, but I'm not a potty mouth. - Department.
	Once inside, Snopes-- - Look at, wait, go back.
	Look at the silhouette on that motherfucker right there.
	Look at this.
	That's the sweet piece of ass that he's ran a?
	It's Big John!
	That's why he's not here.
	He's gonna need to come and his ass repopulated.
	That just ruined it for me.
	I don't want any more of that.
	Would've fucked you, Big John would've stolen dick.
	That just killed my boner.
	Oh, my God.
	Stokes makes more sexual comments.
	So ironic that Big John is listening to that song right now.
	The man seems reluctant, seems to take an unusual.
	They cut that part out, but he grabs his ass there, I think, as he walks by.
	Now that I know they know each other, this clip should be called fags up to their old tricks again.
	I think I sent you, like, the original one without the news.
	Oh, that's fucking...
	It's a lover's, it's a scorned man!
	Yeah, it's just, it's just like when you're Gumar's being a whore and she won't put out.
	Is this it?
	Ohio, okay.
	You know what this is?
	By the way, this comes back to us all pretending that gays are just like us.
	So we go, there was a guy, a cop, who was trying to sexually assault an innocent man.
	No, it's a gay quarrel.
	It's none of our business.
	Get it out of here.
	He said he just wanted five minutes.
	So let's play fire or not fire.
	Vote.
	No, I'm not going to fire him.
	Well, you know, he got fired.
	It's tricky because If I was the king of the world, obviously things would be a lot more fair, but you gotta think of the, uh... I mean, what could they actually charge him with?
	The tax paperwork and everything, right?
	Huh?
	What could they charge him with?
	Sexual assault!
	He didn't really assault him?
	Conduct unbecoming an officer.
	Conduct unbecoming an officer, yeah.
	Official misconduct?
	There's a fucking million things he's doing wrong.
	I know, but he said, he did frighten him, he said, I don't get my alone time, I'm following... Extortion?
	I mean...
	Yeah.
	I'm just disgusted by the whole thing.
	That's just quid homo.
	Yeah.
	Oh, good pun, right?
	Thank you.
	Quid homo.
	That led to a former semen police officer.
	Oh, is that a nickname?
	Semen police officer?
	Yeah, it turns out to be.
	Yeah.
	Another pun.
	That's 40 bucks.
	Off the scene.
	Hi Karen.
	He said hi!
	that he actually never shut off.
	WLWT News 5's Karen Johnson's been digging into the case for the past year or so, and she has the public records that explain exactly what happened.
	Hi, Karen.
	Well, hey, Mike.
	Hi, Karen.
	This body camera that you're about to see sparked the investigation.
	He said hi.
	The semen police chief at the time was conducting an audit and saw footage.
	That would be great if he interrupted her thing.
	Sorry to interrupt you there, but I said hi.
	I wouldn't hate a like a hello or even a nod of the head or something.
	James Stokes.
	Do you not clink glasses when you do shots too, you fucking bitch?
	He's a senior.
	Yeah, this is not what I thought it was.
	This is horny gay, rude to one of his bitches, basically.
	But they said he's a senior, so he has a junior.
	Imagine you're that guy's kid.
	Like your dad got fired because he tried to suck some Hilbert's cock.
	Oh my god, imagine the fucking ribbing in school.
	Oh my god.
	I wonder what his nickname is.
	Seaman Junior, I would assume they're gonna start with.
	Seaman Seaman.
	Hey, what department did your dad work for?
	The YMCA?
	Cause they're gay cops in there.
	Departments are numbers.
	How is that a funny joke?
	I didn't know that.
	You never heard guys talk about the 4-1 and the 4-2?
	N-Y-P-D-Y-M-C-A.
	Oh my god, that's one of the shittiest jokes I've ever heard.
	Well, they're not all gonna land.
	And also threatens to turn the man in for driving without a license.
	A comment that's made a second time.
	Okay, boring.
	So we got all that stuff?
	Here's a didn't do nothing.
	This is one of the rare police videos.
	We have to dig to find these, but occasionally we find a video where someone is getting arrested and they deny that they've done anything wrong.
	That's really weird.
	Have you guys ever come across this on your day-to-day?
	You sure that that's what the video is?
	I assume you're arresting me for my outstanding warrant.
	Yeah, I fucked up.
	I guess we should process this and hopefully I get out in a reasonable amount of time.
	That's every video we've ever seen.
	I assume you're here because I just punched a guy in the face for no reason.
	Is that assault?
	Oh, well, this is gonna suck.
	So this is different.
	Based on our investigation, you started the fight.
	You lost the fight, but you also started the fight.
	Sir, I didn't even do nothing.
	He's got a neck injury.
	He's got a can of whoop-ass on him.
	Sam, what is that phone?
	Is that a flip phone?
	That's a Razer.
	1982?
	Well, if you look at it, it's an older video.
	I wish cops would just once, when someone said that, go, oh shit, sorry.
	I guess we got the wrong guy.
	Sorry to bother you.
	I've done that, but it's not on video.
	Really?
	Just to amuse yourself?
	Yeah, and then we just grab them right afterwards.
	But, you know, we're like, no, just joking.
	I'm just joking, you're under arrest.
	I didn't, sir!
	It's like when we fought that dude at my house, Ryan.
	Yes.
	And we would hold him down, and he would go like, what are you guys doing?
	What's going on?
	And we were so drunk, he would brainwash us.
	And we'd be like, oh, OK.
	I thought you just punched us.
	You know what's crazy about calling him Cloverfield, John Goodman, is me and my wife were watching that movie.
	This is a bad impression.
	I'll probably abandon it.
	We were watching that movie, and John... You just have to throw a couple of OKs.
	Okay, folks new new rules new rule, okay?
	I don't have it, but John Goodman's character acts like JL did in that video He's like nice, and then he like kind of snaps a little bit Yeah, yeah really because I think naturally we all sort of err on the side of innocence with people I'm sure cops are jaded enough to not fall for it But I know as a like outsider when I see these videos.
	I'm like maybe he didn't do anything I Maybe he's just on his flip phone being a great guy from Goonies?
	But you also started the fight.
	He's got a back injury.
	Nobody did nothing.
	I never did nothing.
	I never did nothing.
	You never did nothing?
	Ever?
	No, because I never did nothing.
	I've never been in a job before.
	I never did nothing.
	She's saying in the past she's never done anything.
	Oh okay, that's fair.
	But this time she did it.
	It's my first did something.
	Yes.
	It must get Pavlovian after a while as a cop where it means I did something.
	Absolutely.
	I ain't did nothing.
	11 x-ray recovery now.
	It must get Pavlovian after a while as a cop where it means I did something.
	Absolutely.
	Why were you running me?
	I didn't do nothing.
	Oh, okay.
	I ain't even doing nothing.
	All right.
	I didn't do nothing.
	I didn't do nothing.
	Five Yankees.
	I didn't do nothing.
	And then people that don't know this, they go, but he said he didn't do anything.
	Yeah, get off of him!
	I don't understand.
	I like when bystanders go, oh it's gonna take two of y'all, it takes three of y'all.
	Yeah, try to wrestle someone who won't put their hands behind their back.
	That was an old film.
	- I ain't do nothing.
	- All right.
	- I didn't do nothing. - You didn't do nothing. - That was an old film.
	- That goes on and on.
	- You got a fucking mag like D cell.
	Yeah, man.
	Ryan, this is your demographic now.
	Pedophile, gays.
	Oh, shit.
	I resent that.
	What?
	I resent that.
	Just be you, Ryan.
	That hurt the cheeks?
	Did that sound so loose, Stigs?
	Yeah, after that picture we saw.
	Yeah, kind of.
	Chris Chan is a popular... This is your world, Ryan.
	No, it's not.
	I mean, I know a lot of people that are obsessed with this guy, but... So what is he?
	He's an autistic guy.
	He's obsessed with both Sonic and Pikachu, and he merged them together.
	Sonichu.
	He has created shirts, talismans, and things.
	And now he's trans, and he was allegedly banging his mom or raping his dementia-ridden mother.
	So he was arrested not long ago.
	As one does.
	He's now out of prison, but now it looks like he's...
	Oh, no, no, this is from the arrest.
	So he's a normal guy.
	But did she say no?
	We don't know.
	Was she so hot it was basically impossible not to?
	Right.
	Yes, she is very attractive.
	Okay.
	Like, my mom's lost her looks at 78, so there's no temptation there, but there's been times.
	Maybe like 10 years ago.
	I can't believe you just said that.
	What's his industry like?
	That's his mom.
	I can see being a motherfucker.
	What's his thing?
	Is he a gamer?
	Does he twitch stream and get money from that?
	motherfucker.
	But what's his job? - This is Lauren Chan.
	- What's his thing?
	Like, is he a gamer?
	Does he Twitch stream and get money from that? - There's plenty of, you know, you can go down a whole rabbit hole, Do you sell your Pika Manchu clothes?
	Chris Chan in 60 seconds.
	Let me see if I can find something that exposes it.
	Does he sell pictures of his feet on OnlyFans?
	You have to have an industry.
	Do you sell cameos?
	I mean, do you really?
	I mean, you could probably.
	I mean, how much do you really need to gain, you know?
	So who called the police on him?
	There's probably enough of a niche.
	You need 50 grand a year to live.
	All right.
	I'm sure you can figure that shit out.
	Quick rundown.
	Well, let me know how you do that with just 50 grand.
	This is a quick rundown.
	That's the average salary in America.
	Put it at 1.5.
	In what might prove to be the most difficult quick rundown, boiling down decades of Internet reporting into a matter of minutes, Chris Chan could be called the Internet's most documented and most trolled individual of all time.
	To get the full story on Chris Chan and the expanded CWC universe, you would need to catch up on the ongoing comprehensive history by Geno Samuel 2.1, which currently stands at 65 episodes each, approximately 40 minutes in length.
	Chris Chan has been known to the internet since approximately 2007, but went viral in July of 2021, when he was arrested due to indecent acts with his own mother.
	Early life.
	Christian Westerchandler was born in Charlottesville, Virginia in 1982, to Bob Chandler Jr.
	and Barbara Ann Weston, aged 54 and 40 respectively.
	Chris claimed to have been cared for by an abusive babysitter named Roach from 18 months onward, and did not speak until 7 years old.
	He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism and He's severely mentally deficient.
	He's slow.
	Okay, we got it.
	He's a fucked up nerd.
	He's a fag.
	What's this new glitch where things repeat themselves?
	I don't hate it.
	I kinda like it.
	I kinda like it too.
	What is it?
	Whenever we play a video and we pause it, it repeats itself.
	Huh.
	It's becoming our trademark.
	I wonder who called the police on him.
	and like to change to change to change to change to change to change to change to change to change.
	He's a fag.
	This new glitch where things repeat themselves.
	I don't hate it.
	I kind of like it.
	I kind of like it, too.
	What is it?
	Whenever we play a video and we pause it, it repeats itself.
	Oh, it's becoming our trademark.
	I wonder who called the police on him.
	I'm good.
	Good.
	Say I think.
	You know what?
	I think he might have admitted it or said something like that.
	Oh, I think he was like catfished or something like that.
	I mean, they would explain it in this thing.
	Here's the downfall section if you're interested.
	You can't even tell.
	Yep.
	I swear to God.
	He looks biological woman.
	Why did they switch from showing a mentally ill kid to a gorgeous woman with long flowing brown hair?
	He's a unicorn.
	What happened to the nerd that we saw at the beginning of the video?
	Disappeared.
	That's still him.
	What?
	Yeah.
	I thought that was the chick from Animal House and Raiders of the Lost Ark.
	Here it is.
	It's an audio recording.
	- I would grab her cock. - In which Chris described in detail the indecent acts performed on their own mother.
	On August 1st, Chris Chan was arrested on felony charges, spending a year in jail, and now believing to be Jesus of Nazareth, reincarnated and-- That explains it.
	But he's Jesus of Nazareth.
	Now believed to be, or he believes he is?
	I think they said now believed to be Jesus of Nazareth.
	He denies it, actually.
	It's just a common sentiment among his fans.
	I mean, look at him, his hair.
	Fake Jesus of Nazareth.
	Is there anybody else in the room?
	One of those people are my buddy Jesse of Podawful.
	And you admit to that?
	And y'all were the guys there?
	- What's up?
	- What's up?
	- Don't.
	- They are the followers.
	- Yeah, those are trolls.
	- One of those people are my buddy, Jesse of Pot Awful.
	- And you admit to that.
	- You know where the guys there?
	- Yes, yeah.
	He filmed it, it was pretty miraculous how he got there too.
	How do you know that he's getting arrested?
	That's exactly, I don't know the story, but I know that it's very interesting that he showed up.
	I don't know the story, but it's very interesting.
	Yeah, I didn't retain it, but when I heard it I said, oh.
	I didn't retain it?
	Oh my f***ing god, what is this?
	His brain is a f***ing sieve.
	It's happening now!
	We're on the very last thread!
	What?
	They're everywhere.
	I don't believe that.
	We're surrounded.
	What began as a routine arrest on August 1st, 2021 in Henrico, Virginia... Ah, dude, it's just a neodivergent, dude.
	You're gonna fucking bother him like that?
	Like, dude, it's un-fucking-believable.
	Well, he was raping his mom.
	Yeah, raping his mom, dude.
	He didn't do nothing, alright?
	In that other video, you got these fucking poor guys saying, dude, I didn't do anything.
	And you're just, like, arresting the guy.
	Well, I think the people in the previous video were lying.
	Dah!
	I'm- I'm fucking believable.
	Um, here's a perp getting shot dead real fast on Newsbreak, which I highly recommend.
	You highly recommend getting shot dead, or highly recommend- No, the video.
	Okay.
	That's how it starts.
	That's the entire video.
	Didn't waste any time.
	All right.
	Quit touching me!
	Stop!
	Not much commentary to be had on this one.
	Oh, we've gone over this one.
	We have?
	Yeah.
	You sure?
	Yep.
	Rerun.
	The one guy who goes straight back, he got shot.
	The guy on the right side should have his gun out if this guy's got his gun out.
	I don't know what the fuck these guys are doing.
	These guys are right on top of each other.
	I ain't got nothing in my ass, man.
	Yeah, we went through this.
	Nothing in my ass ring a bell?
	I mean we've seen a lot of videos like this but that ain't got nothing in my ass that's pretty unique.
	Keep that light on.
	Stop pulling away.
	- Who's touching me?
	- Keep that light on him.
	- Who touched me?
	- Who touched me?
	Stop! - Got cops right behind him on the other side of the car.
	- Whoop! - How the fuck do you think this is gonna go?
	You're gonna shoot two cops and then drive away and what?
	There was, I think, four or five there.
	Start a farm in Georgia?
	Under another name?
	Did you have to kill them though?
	It's like you gotta, like, just use the gun to deflect the bullet.
	Shoot, I always say to cops, shoot the gun out of their hand.
	Yeah, why didn't he do that?
	Believe it or not, a lot of people do that.
	They should just shoot into the bullet hole of the gun and disable the gun.
	And then the bullets can't get out.
	And that's it.
	Just do the Iron Dome, like shoot every bullet that comes at you.
	You have two fucking cops there, dude.
	Unbelievable.
	It's unfortunate that Bill Burr probably would be saying shit like that.
	Yes!
	That's exactly what he would be saying.
	Of course, if it was a white guy, they wouldn't fucking give a shit.
	Well, see, I'm Bill Burr and I'm married to a black girl.
	Yeah, dude.
	I'm married to a black five.
	The next video shows the culture these people are coming from.
	And it helps you understand.
	Why these assholes think they can just shoot two cops and live a full... Imagine I'm... I got pulled over by cops in 1981.
	I shot them both.
	I kept driving.
	I changed my name.
	And then I started a farm.
	I met a woman in a local bar.
	And we had four kids.
	I'm Phil now.
	I just... I just kept growing corn for the locals.
	That was me.
	Those wild times, but those are... Then I got caught.
	Nah man, this is an oldie but goodie too.
	in the morning when passenger Omari Tobias asked the driver, David Fullard, if he could get off the bus in between stops.
	No, man.
	This is an oldie but goodie, too.
	But we haven't shown it.
	When Fullard said no, things got tense.
	A few minutes later, Tobias can be seen pulling out a gun and walking towards Fullard.
	That's when Fullard pulls out his own gun.
	Yeah, he's thought this occurred to him before. - Sure.
	Now you can get off.
	I'm fine now.
	Nice.
	No ticket.
	Dogma.
	That kid was probably like fucking 16 years old.
	Okay, so this is where you get in trouble as a civilian, right?
	When you get out of the bus and start shooting him in the back.
	He's still a threat.
	You have to be able to articulate this guy's still a fucking threat.
	He's still breathing.
	Dude, I tell you what though.
	No, but as a civilian, you have to use every means of escape.
	Yes, you do have the ability to fucking retreat.
	However, you've already had a gunfight.
	What are you supposed to do?
	Do you see what he did with his hood tactics, which is when he put his arm up?
	When he did that.
	What does that mean?
	What is that?
	So think about it.
	If rounds are coming at you, like you're protecting yourself.
	I don't think that's stopping anything.
	It is.
	It's gonna do something.
	It's gonna deflect off the fletch.
	Did you see the video where the bus driver's beating the kid's ass?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was great.
	I gotta put a fuckin' whoopin' on him.
	We should probably pull that up.
	He tells everyone at the bus to get back.
	And you know this bus driver that we're about to show us.
	I thought he was going to break his neck.
	Tommy Robinson, I've seen videos with him where he's like, look Mike, don't do it, don't do it.
	It's going to be two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.
	Like it's someone who's knocked someone out 67 times.
	And they're just like, please, let me not do this again.
	He knows he's going to win.
	He has zero fear.
	And he asks everyone to move back while he beats up this kid.
	I don't think this is it.
	There's no situational awareness.
	You know this guy's got no fuck.
	He gives no fucks whatsoever.
	And the fact that you're going to fight him shows how fucking stupid they are.
	Because this dude, he didn't fucking care.
	He's like, I'm going to lose my fucking municipal job, and then I'm going to beat your fucking teeth down your throat.
	And it's going to be worth it.
	You're a black kid in the hood.
	Nope.
	And you're taking the bus.
	He's fighting against a Spanish guy.
	That might be it.
	Yeah, that looks like it.
	No.
	That's it.
	That's it, yeah.
	He's got a white shirt.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Thank God people recorded this because we needed to see this.
	That dude is not small too.
	- Two, I mean he's skinny but-- - He's gotta be six, one. - Backpedaling already.
	That bus driver's been in jail, right?
	He's definitely been in jail.
	100%.
	Oh, the bus driver, yeah.
	What jail?
	I have to hire you and fuck it out of jail.
	Matty, can you tell what jail guys have been to, by the way?
	No, but when he's saying, see me right now, he's not there to talk.
	Stop.
	Let's get it on.
	And the kid's like... You can tell the kid started thinking he was beating up some old guy.
	And then he's like, oh, wait a minute.
	There's some old guys that have been in fights before.
	Because obviously he said, step outside or come see me.
	He said, fuck it, see me right now.
	Please.
	Get back.
	Get back.
	I'm about to kick the shit out of a teenager.
	And they all did it.
	Nobody said, this is a bad idea.
	No, they were all like, you're right.
	He's about to get in his ass, and he two-pieced him, and then it's over.
	Two-pieced him.
	Lovely, too.
	Yeah, he caught him straight up.
	Kid never had a chance.
	Didn't even put his hands up.
	You know what that is?
	That's all the unpaid bills that guy has.
	Child support!
	Child support!
	Alimony!
	Child support!
	His fucking car note.
	His car insurance.
	On the bus.
	Back alimony.
	Sucking their teeth.
	His teenage son that don't give him no respect.
	Yeah, that's his teenage son that let him down.
	He might save this scumbag's life by doing this to him.
	Because he might learn his fucking lesson.
	That's the son who became a junkie and blamed his dad.
	I became a junkie because you were never there for me!
	Fuck you!
	It's quite the two-piece.
	Yeah, it's all fun and games until you get punched in the face.
	I said watch the closing doors!
	That's great.
	Here's a sergeant taking care of business.
	He's kicking a perp in the head.
	This isn't my area of expertise.
	Did you think this cop was out of line?
	That's a graphic of a snake.
	That's not what I'm talking about.
	I hate ridiculous facial hair.
	Badge cams?
	This looks like aliens parroting humans.
	Is that what you think we look like?
	Yes, it is.
	- Bad cams like this, but I think they're important for training.
	Today's video is sponsored by Delete Me. - Oh, Delete Me. - Delete Me is who I use and trust to help me protect myself.
	- He's gotta say Rasputin.
	- My family.
	- When I drank poison laced cakes and then fell into a creek and survived.
	Active self-defense was that.
	Is there a video in here somewhere?
	Are we running ads for this fucking thing now?
	I know.
	This is a fucking paid service.
	What's going on here?
	Hold on, hold on guys.
	This is interesting.
	No it's not.
	You can remove addresses.
	We got fucking all our social security numbers.
	This shit don't work.
	We're still doing the ads on the video.
	Okay, stop Brian.
	Go to the juice.
	Let's listen in.
	What's going on man?
	How you doing?
	Good, good.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Sorry, I'll see you when you get back.
	What is this?
	So what happened?
	Do you not know how a phone works?
	I tried to take Belcher, honestly, for a short way to go down here, but honestly, this road, I swear, I just didn't even know where I was going.
	Okay, honest with you, okay?
	I'm gonna be transparent with you, okay?
	Alright, just because due to the condition that Okay, let's get to the juice here.
	Boring.
	Boring.
	And you did say you had been drinking, but that might have...
	Okay, let's get to the juice here.
	I'm going to jail.
	There's no need for a...
	There's a licensed driver to drive the car, right?
	Not necessarily.
	We really need a liquor.
	Boring.
	Boring.
	The interest bump, we're on it right now.
	Get out my girl like that.
	Hey, stop.
	Hey, bro.
	Look at all this in, bro.
	I'm gonna go out.
	Come on, bro.
	Get off.
	I'm leaving.
	I'm leaving.
	Okay, go back.
	Go back.
	Because that's a lot of kicks to the head.
	I don't want this guy to get fired and lose his pension.
	But that seems a bit excessive.
	But you look at it, he was not prepared one bit to fight this dude.
	His feet weren't fucking set.
	His hands were in his fucking vest.
	He was, you know, he was one of those guys like, well, you know, there's no way this guy's gonna do this to me.
	So I'm just gonna stand here like some kind of fucking retard.
	And then he got punched in the face.
	He's lucky the guy tasered him.
	Because he would have got the shit beaten out of him.
	Okay, go back.
	That's just my opinion.
	I gave an end.
	The guy just swung his hand and he didn't fucking step back.
	Wait, go back again.
	Did the cop... You're right, he's sitting back there like nothing could ever happen to him.
	But did the cop grab him first?
	So the cop, the body cam that we see is the one that grabs him.
	He took a swing.
	He takes a swing at the guy with his hands in his fucking pockets not doing anything.
	What set him off?
	Did he say something to his girl?
	He said something to the girl, right?
	He's talking about his girl.
	You're talking about a girl like that?
	But even that, look, his feet are not square.
	You fought, you fought.
	You gotta step back and at least set your fucking feet up.
	Man, God.
	So now he's engaged.
	Tazer's deployed.
	The first few kicks are okay, but then it gets a little... That gets a little... Let's count them.
	Go back a pube.
	So he does it again.
	I just think... One.
	Two.
	Two.
	Three.
	Four.
	Five.
	Then he does one more.
	Two little puppy stomps and then... He tells them he got them, then he does one more.
	Wait, puppy stomps is the word?
	Puppy stomps, yep.
	Okay.
	Stomps fit for a puppy.
	Ryan, try to find a video from Newberg that just happened.
	Like, it was like two or three days ago.
	It was a chick fight and it was fucking pretty good.
	So the thing is, like, with something like this, is what are his injuries?
	Like, that's kind of like where, you know, did the guy die?
	I mean... Well, it's blunt force trauma to the head.
	Alright, I mean, did he have a fucking... Technically, it's assault one because it's above the shoulders.
	Not in New York State.
	It fuckin' ain't.
	No, it's probably not in his soul fuckin' too, but... Yeah.
	Is that cop getting fired?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Oh yeah.
	I mean... In New York State, he's getting fired.
	I don't think he should be getting fired, but... Most likely.
	He will be getting fired and arrested in New York.
	In New York.
	It's a woman fighting a police officer?
	It's a woman police officer fighting a perp, and it was something about, try excessive force, Nuremberg, something like that.
	I voice texted you by accident there.
	Yeah, I know, it's fine.
	What did you send me, Cigs?
	A Daily Sneed?
	What is this?
	Broad Daylight Execution?
	Broad Daylight Execution in Philly.
	Okay.
	Philadelphia is pretty fucking hardcore.
	Dude, Philly is toast!
	You know what we call Philly in the feds?
	What?
	It's Teledelphia.
	Yo, it's fucking completely out of control.
	You think New York City's bad?
	You got nothing on Philadelphia.
	No, they call it Teledelphia because everyone tells.
	Right, I forgot.
	This is a free show.
	We're putting this online.
	That's right.
	So I need the ad reads.
	Okay.
	I think this is a chick.
	I'm pretty impressed by her.
	She's pretty fucking badass.
	That is definitely a chick.
	She's got a dress on.
	Yep, and long hair.
	No, no, that one's, yes.
	I am disproportionately sexually attracted to anyone who does local news.
	I don't know why.
	Like, that's a five?
	I would kill my entire family on Christmas morning just to eat her ass.
	Yeah, that's right.
	I don't know what it is.
	Why is she built like an action figure of herself, though?
	She's not my type.
	Because not everyone wants a fucking geisha like you like them.
	Well they should.
	I want straight black hair and a little... You wouldn't fuck her?
	Who?
	Her!
	I would eat her out for so long that she'd fall asleep.
	Tell her.
	She'd have like four orgasms over the course of two hours and then eventually she'd look at a magazine and then she'd check her email and then fall asleep and I'd still be like slurp slurp slurp.
	Has been suspended and an internal investigation is underway.
	We first brought you this exclusive story yesterday.
	We do want to warn the video may be sensitive for some viewers.
	People's did she say?
	We are seeing allegedly repeatedly punching and tasing a man.
	That's not good.
	Before that, she's like fighting him on it by herself.
	Primary officer suspended.
	Let me see.
	Ron, what are you doing on your phone there on TV?
	Oh.
	Texting you.
	Texting me?
	No, no, no, no.
	You're just texting on a TV show.
	You gotta follow through with a lie.
	You have to.
	Uh, let me see.
	April 2020.
	That's the only link I could find for it.
	Alright, fuck it.
	2023?
	Stig's was showing us a female cop kicking ass.
	It looks, it really looks like it.
	That's a great segue to the female cop segment.
	But before we do that, I would like to mention THCxtract.com.
	Folks, let's talk real talk.
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	The economy's tanking and inflation is through the roof.
	I'll use a break.
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	There is no E in XTRACT.
	So yet again, that is promo code Gavin for 50% off.
	Ryan, did you notice I read that?
	Yes.
	Without one error?
	I thought the error was you read it twice.
	You have a strong command of English language.
	No, I'm reading the script here.
	Let's hear you do it, and stop when you fuck up.
	Okay.
	Wait, you want to pull it up?
	So start with folks, let's talk real talk.
	Can you go back to white guy Ryan?
	We like him better.
	More trustworthy.
	Ah, dude, you go to THCfuckingExtract.com.
	Okay, come on, Ryan.
	I have to pull up the email here.
	You just printed it out.
	So you're already fucking up in a way.
	I did not print it out, you printed it out.
	Okay.
	So, now I have to go to my email, and now I have it.
	Okay.
	And now I'm pulling it up, and now I will read it.
	Hide the email.
	Alright, here we go.
	Folks, let's talk real talk.
	These are tough times right now.
	No, stop!
	So you fucked up in one second.
	What are you talking about?
	Folks, let's talk real talk.
	Times are tough right now.
	You said these are tough times.
	Well, yeah, I'm... He's ad-libbing.
	I like to ad-lib.
	No, you fucked up your reading in one second.
	Verbatim, sir.
	I don't do the Ron Burgundy style of reading.
	It's called doing your job.
	Mine's loose and fun.
	Nope.
	So that was interesting.
	I knew you would fuck it up in one second.
	Um, alright, let's do the interstitial for female cops!
	Stakes has brought us into the female cop zone.
	Welcome to the female cops zone, zone, zone.
	This is the new one!
	I don't think you this panel of cops hates female cops like I do.
	I think you all have worked with some good ones and you have an opening in your heart that prevents you from being rational and understanding that they should not be cops.
	That's very fewer worth their salt.
	What percentage of females... Ron, do you want to go look at your phone?
	I got something for you.
	I got something for you.
	I'm sending it.
	I'm sending it.
	This is going to be good.
	One percent.
	One percent?
	Two, maybe two or three that I've worked with in 20 fucking years are worth that I didn't have to work on my shoulder like, and I got to protect this bitch.
	Alright, there's a couple.
	There was one girl who was like a judo expert, but she was kind of a cunt.
	And then there was another girl who was, you know, kind of big and brocky, she hurt her knee.
	But most of them are fucking completely useless.
	And I wish they weren't, but they are.
	Just call it like you see it.
	At what percentage of those good ones, which you said, let's say 2%, were lesbians?
	100%.
	100%.
	No, the judo chick was a fucking lesbian of all lesbians.
	She was like, if you saw you're like, oh dude, she eats pussy.
	Well, we went to a Mets game with one of them.
	Yes!
	Well, no, no, not her.
	Her ex-wife.
	Ex-wife.
	Yeah.
	I was at her wedding.
	They always get divorced.
	Fucking lesbian pollution.
	Yeah.
	What about you, Bobby?
	You ever work with a female cop that was good?
	One that was decent, but you still had to watch her.
	What kind of decent?
	How tall was she?
	Probably 5'5", 5'6".
	5'6".
	That's a fine height.
	I mean, she would get into it.
	She had no problem throwing down.
	Yeah, I don't care.
	Once again, she's a female jumping into a male fight.
	If a 10-year-old boy has no problem throwing down, is he an asset?
	Well, that's better than most.
	Listen, At least she will get her hands dirty and she'll risk it.
	The majority of them won't even do that.
	But the majority are just liabilities.
	You're more worried about them.
	You're worried about protecting them.
	They become a problem because you're worried about them getting hurt.
	Not so much you getting hurt.
	And then you're fucking focused on protecting them over your own bodily harm.
	I remember Terry Shepard as a vet I would have on the show quite a bit and he was like, the innate genetic problem with a woman in a foxhole in war is she goes up and you're like, fuck no!
	And you get out of the foxhole with her to defend her.
	Your male buddy gets out of the foxhole and you're like, wish you nothing but luck, dude.
	I'll try to cover you.
	And then when it's my turn, I'll get out of the foxhole.
	But it's different with women.
	Genetically, you want to protect them.
	Did you ever see like the whole theory, well not a theory, but it's actually a fact, why they won't put women on nuclear submarines?
	Because they literally, one fucking, their presence will continually, Make them far less likely to launch nuclear missiles.
	It is proven that they won't put them on these submarines because their presence alone kind of changes the dynamic of what you have to do.
	That's fascinating.
	They don't like to put them in combat units.
	They don't want them on combat planes.
	They do do that now but the majority they won't because it completely changes everything.
	Everyone is more worried about her than they are about them and it fucks up the whole dynamic.
	Sometimes you just got to leave people and they can't do that if it's her.
	I can leave these motherfuckers but A girl, you can't.
	You feel, you just, your innate fucking... You feel bad.
	...desire to protect and help them because of being men.
	Whereas with men, you will leave them because you have to accomplish a mission.
	Makes a lot of sense.
	Because the men are your equal.
	It's like with farmers, like turkey farmers will have one male in there, not to breed, but just because it seems to help.
	With stability.
	They'll do that.
	Cow farmers will have bring in a bull, not necessarily to breed, just to increase stability.
	The opposite is true of women.
	You have a bunch of dudes, a bunch of bulls.
	You throw one cow in and everything is... She's getting fucked.
	Is backwards.
	What about you, Medium John?
	Have you had chicks that you work with that were good?
	Honestly, probably the same woman that he's talking about.
	Literally the exact same woman?
	Yeah.
	What?
	Can we know her name?
	No.
	I don't know.
	Wonder Woman!
	The best part about her, like, she knew her flaws.
	What's the first letter of her name?
	L. L. Is that the same one, Bobby?
	Yeah, she's lucky.
	That's actually her name.
	Okay, she's out of the bag.
	But no, she would always go for the balls.
	She knew what the weakness was, and she would have no problem with... That's smart.
	Yeah, she would grab balls, which is what, you know... Well, we started the show with a cop who always went straight for the balls.
	It worked.
	It always worked.
	It didn't end well for him.
	Yeah, he got fired.
	It always worked for her.
	That's interesting.
	What about you, Ron?
	Any female cops?
	Investigatively, females are good.
	Yeah.
	Good?
	Investigatively.
	Yeah, they got their shit together and if they want to get somebody, you know, they're investigating somebody.
	If you could skip the cop part... You can't skip the cop part.
	Everyone has to pay their dues on the streets, so they're fucking useless in the beginning, but investigatively, you get real good investigators out there.
	Hmm.
	Because you have to realize like their whole compartmentalization of everything is very different than us.
	Right?
	So a lot of them are very... It's personal.
	A lot of them are very orderly and they're a lot, you know, a lot neater than a lot of us.
	Dude, here's the difference between men and women in a nutshell.
	If you look at me and you point out something about myself that makes me ugly or weak or whatever, I laugh when you get it right.
	And you're like, you look like Grover.
	You look and you're pregnant.
	What the fuck is with your body?
	And if it's an accurate insult, I laugh.
	You say an accurate insult to a woman, it's devastating.
	She's done.
	Does my ass look fat in my uniform?
	Oh, yes, it does.
	Words never said.
	If you go up to a dude, say there was a buddy of yours who had a super long torso and his legs were short and you're like, dude, what is with your legs?
	Do you buy children's pants?
	Do you go to the fucking Kid Gap to get your pants and then you get normal man shirts?
	And he would laugh his head off.
	He'd be like, yeah, I don't know what happened.
	I'm all torso.
	You say that to a chick, she blows her head off.
	Well, I'd say men don't mean the insults.
	Women don't mean their compliments.
	That's how we all talk to each other.
	They lie to each other about compliments.
	We lie about insults.
	Right.
	It reminds me of what Joe Rogan said.
	He said, men are brutally honest to each other's faces and then say nice things about them behind their backs.
	And then women are the opposite.
	They'll say super nice things to you in person and talk shit behind your back.
	So true.
	You could never compliment a guy to his face.
	The worst things I've said about Matty O'Dell have been to his face.
	Yeah.
	And every time he's away, I'm like, it's a great guy.
	Great guy.
	It's just a fucking pain in the ass.
	OK, so let's get to this first meme.
	OK, sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
	To give me a blowjob?
	OK, sir, step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your back.
	I fucking knew it.
	This went viral, a woman who abandoned Trump to breastfeed her baby.
	Right?
	Everyone's seen this.
	We have to put it in the books.
	The fucking Secret Service agent.
	You don't know this?
	No.
	One of the Secret Service chicks, after he got shot, when he was getting shot, was breastfeeding her baby.
	No, this is after.
	No, this is another detail after he got shot.
	This is like two weeks after he got sick.
	Another rally.
	Which makes it even worse.
	Which makes it even worse, like they haven't learned their lesson.
	Let's pay attention for the month, okay?
	Why does she have a child on a fucking... Who the fuck knows?
	Why is she on a fucking... I don't want to say mission or... It's some DEI bullshit.
	The best thing about the Trump assassination attempt, if there is a fucking positive to it, is that it really exposes DEI bullshit and that women shouldn't be in these positions.
	You saw that one girl hiding behind everybody else.
	Fucking... There was another one who tried.
	She tried, but she was fucking 5'2".
	This guy's... Trump's a big dude.
	He's like 6'4".
	You know, you're supposed to be there to take a bullet for him.
	I get it.
	That's fucking shitty, but that's what you signed up for.
	How about even during the escort, one of the chicks is holding him, and even with her small stature, she's still lower and going like this.
	And you can see, like, his nipples and up.
	Yeah.
	The little blonde chick was pointing down.
	You're supposed to have your head in the way of his head.
	But it finally exposed this bullshit and the fact that these people are being told they can do whatever they want and anything a man can do and that feminism has fed this line of shit to everyone and it's finally getting exposed.
	Even Megyn Kelly was like, we're not doing anyone a service by allowing them to do these jobs they're not capable of.
	You know, you don't put women into combat roles because they can't do it.
	You certainly don't put them to protect the most important person or one of the most important people.
	on the planet because they just can't do it.
	You're not doing anyone a favor by pretending she's capable.
	They're pushing themselves on us.
	We're the women bricklayers.
	Of course not.
	No, but that sucks.
	I don't want to do that.
	There's no prestige in that.
	We're picking up garbage.
	We're the female fucking garbage pickers.
	We had one.
	We had one female garbage fucking thrower in In a nutshell, and she only lasted like three months because it is a shitty job and it's tough.
	But isn't the head of sanitation for NY, for New York, abroad?
	It was Tish, uh, Tish, what was her name?
	She's not Tish.
	She's never thrown a garbage bag in her life.
	No.
	She was an NYPD, uh, commissioner and she screwed up the cell phone.
	Same thing with the fucking data that you put in the cell phone.
	She bought, like, outdated cell phone.
	Millions and millions and millions of dollars wasted on cell phones.
	Getting every cop a cell phone.
	Yeah, it was a Windows-based cell phone.
	A Windows-based cell phone, and it was like three editions late by the time we were turned out to everybody.
	But they kept her around because her father owns a big construction company.
	But you fucking get demoted for incompetencies.
	No one ever gets fired.
	She's been fired for that.
	You know, when I did my time on, I think it was 36th Street or something.
	Midtown South.
	And I had my hands through the bars.
	The detectives there that were next to me, so it was like a Bernie Miller set.
	This fucking smoke show of a broad comes in and she goes, hey, I need your fucking E2s.
	What the fuck is going on?
	I asked you for this.
	What is going on back there?
	You want one?
	We're on a TV show, guys.
	We're not hanging out.
	They're drinking.
	Thinking we were guests, I would assume we would have these bought for us, but next time.
	Well, you have them under your ass.
	They're a little warm.
	So she was hot and she looked like that, actually, to be honest.
	And she said, I need your E4s on my desk by tomorrow.
	And they were like, all right, all right, sorry, sorry, late.
	And then she left.
	And they said, hey, this is affirmative action.
	I'm all in.
	Jesus Christ.
	What a fucking smoke show.
	Was she the one that hung her panties on the on the door of the squad?
	There was a female sergeant.
	She was there.
	She was Spanish.
	She put it in a guy's mouth.
	She put it in the detective's mouth.
	Oh, I remember that shit.
	Yeah, she was great.
	That was a Manhattan squad, I think.
	My new obsession is this two-tier justice.
	When white people or cops or Republicans sin, they get the fucking book thrown at them.
	And when a Hispanic or a Jew or a gay does something terrible, they get I saw, we're gonna show, do a whole thing on Two Tier on Monday, but I just can't get over this Muslim who raped a girl and part of his punishment was a fine of two pounds a month.
	This is in Britain, so three bucks a month.
	Two pounds of what?
	Three dollars a month.
	Pound sterling.
	Two pounds of money, you could do the quarters with this.
	Three dollars a month.
	That's like five quarters.
	I spend that on homeless blowjobs.
	What?
	Wait, did I just say that out loud?
	England is full on.
	Aren't you fucking English?
	I was born there, yeah.
	That explains a lot.
	It fell apart after you left.
	I shouldn't have left.
	Every time I see something bad about England, I go, fuck.
	I abandoned them.
	You're like Tommy Robinson, except you don't like the Jews as much.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking terrible.
	Oh, I like them almost as much.
	So, do you have the link for that Abandoned Trump?
	We just gotta get that on the books.
	Oh, I...
	Secret Service detail that's guarding former President Donald Trump.
	So this coming from RealClearPolitics reporting that a female Secret Service agent abandoned her post in North Carolina to breastfeed her baby during Trump's visit yesterday to the Tar Heels.
	There's no video?
	The report says about five minutes before Trump's motorcade arrived, the side agent, who manages security for the entire event, did a final sweep of the location.
	And while walking the route, the site agent reportedly found the Secret Service Special Agent in question, breastfeeding, with two other family members present, in a room that's supposed to be set aside for official business like an emergency involving the President.
	The report says the Special Agent did not have permission to leave her post and gave no warning for an event that she needed personal time.
	Working Secret Service agents are prohibited from bringing children, or any family members for that matter, on a protective assignment.
	Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
	That's completely unreasonable.
	So what was the, was she disciplined?
	No, not in this administration.
	It wouldn't happen.
	No fucking way.
	No fucking way.
	She should be fired immediately.
	Yeah.
	She makes poor decisions.
	Did she abscond?
	Her position to go do that.
	She did it in a room that's supposed to be for like- You're not supposed to have your children with you on details!
	Yeah, talk about fucking, like, are you really gonna risk your life when your kid is there?
	Imagine going up to a car stop with your fucking- with a car seat in the back.
	Like, it's just absolutely fucking retarded.
	Yeah.
	Couldn't get the babysitter in time.
	Put him right in the back.
	Okay, this video is pretty crazy, but I have a surprise at the end for you.
	So you're going to think this isn't about female cops, but it ends up being about them.
	This is one of the craziest women I've ever seen in a police video.
	I mean, I deal with loonies.
	I saw Linda today at the bar.
	Oh, Jesus.
	I tried to bring her to the show.
	She's fat now.
	Oh, that means she's healthy.
	And she said she had to get her hair cut and put on makeup and then she ran out of the bar.
	It's actually a great way to get rid of her is to say, can you come on my podcast?
	More effective than come on my face.
	But I don't usually deal with people this fucking insane.
	I feel like I don't think many civilians understand the amount of fucking lunatic.
	Wait, John, is that you on your phone?
	Who?
	What were you just looking down at?
	You have a wall of beers.
	My first one I was reading the label.
	I think you're getting paranoid.
	You're reading the label?
	Now you're doing sitting on the toilet style reading?
	It's my first, the first time I'm trying this and I was reading the label.
	Is that what Stig's brought?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, those are dangerous, dude.
	They're fucking delicious, my god.
	They fucking go down like a zero.
	It's insane.
	Is that like a seltzer or has it got vodka in it?
	It's like vodka, I don't give a fuck.
	I'm not allowed to drink vodka.
	No?
	I'll end up like this.
	He breaks out in handcuffs.
	Yeah.
	Don't let me drink vodka.
	Part of the parole agreement?
	No, I'm off.
	I'm not on anything anymore, but I just know better.
	No bar in my local town is allowed to serve me vodka.
	Anything else?
	Only cocaine.
	No, I do crystal meth.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	You're white.
	Crystal meth.
	Alright, get to the video, please.
	One o'clock in the morning on March 7th, 2023, an officer from the Bay County Sheriff's Office in Florida witnessed a vehicle traveling and darked out its lights after turning away from the officer.
	As the officer continued to follow the vehicle, it started driving on the opposite side of the road against traffic.
	Did Ryan add that cat?
	I did not.
	lights and sirens on to begin the pursuit.
	There's an unusual factor in this chase that this officer is unaware of.
	During this soon to be high speed pursuit, the suspect is apparently traveling with their pet cat in the vehicle.
	Footage from later fails to reveal any cage or confinement for the animal.
	- Did Ryan add that cat? - Meaning the feline is possibly running loose in the car during this chase.
	The pursuing officer called-- - Wait, did you say eat or add? - The second cruiser makes their way to the scene.
	At the top of the screen, our team has mapped out the real-time location of the suspect vehicle throughout the duration of this chase.
	By the way, just pause for a sec.
	When I told Linda, I begged her to come to the show tonight, she said, oh, you're there with the Chinese guy?
	And I go, yeah, yeah, he'll be there.
	Because I thought she was worried I was going to rape her or something.
	And she goes, what's his name?
	I go, Ryan.
	And she goes, oh, yeah.
	They don't usually have such normal names in Chinese.
	She is correct.
	And I'm like, yeah, they chose a random name.
	His real name is Chang Ker.
	That's not the crazy old bitch from New Rochelle, is it?
	Yeah.
	Wait, no, that's Sylvia.
	Oh my god, Sylvia.
	What the fuck?
	Is she still alive?
	I don't know.
	I haven't seen her in...
	Apparently she walked into the bar a couple weeks ago so I think she's still alive but didn't you say and and the viewers will be very familiar with Sylvia we had her on the show probably ten times but didn't you say Stig's that her boyfriend used to use her as a punching bag?
	Her husband her yes oh my god I forgot his fucking name no it was some Spanish name he beat the fucking balls off her all the time so his son Fuck, his name's on the tip of my tongue.
	His son was killed by a black guy in like the early 80s, late 70s.
	And then he apparently killed whoever killed this kid or something to that effect.
	But he had an inherent dislike for African Americans.
	And he would generally let them know it.
	Publicly.
	And whenever he came across him, it was a fucking problem.
	And he would just fucking kill you.
	In New Rochelle?
	In New Rochelle, dude.
	He must have been coming across him every 10 seconds.
	Oh yeah.
	And he had no problem telling him what he thought of him.
	And he'd beat the fucking balls over her.
	Her eye, I mean, remember seeing her?
	You saw how small and frail she is.
	Her fucking eye was like this.
	He'd beat the shit out of her.
	I forgot her name.
	Jose?
	Fucking fuck, I forgot his name.
	Well, you know why she hates cops?
	Because we arrested him.
	Because they took her husband away.
	Yeah, the guy that beat the fucking cock off of her.
	Yeah, did she get the last word in?
	He beat the shit out of her.
	It was unbelievable.
	He would smash her door in with a hammer.
	He was out of control.
	Men for each other.
	Oh, I couldn't remember earlier.
	She still has a black eye there.
	Black lives matter.
	That's a bullshit thing.
	I was in New Rochelle Hospital.
	A technician, I said to him, oh, black lives matter?
	White lives don't matter?
	In God's eyes, all lives matter.
	He shot me a dirty look.
	That was his answer to me.
	Thank you for that, Sylvia.
	Go ahead, call her.
	She looks like a newborn bird.
	Hey Syl, do you get turned on when you see a guy get in a fight for a sense of honour, whether he's defending a woman or defending himself?
	Does that make you a warning?
	I don't get turned on, but I appreciate it.
	Does it make your pussy wet?
	I like it.
	So when a man defends your honor, like if you're out with a guy and some other guy tries to hit on you and your man steps up and tells him, hey, that's my girl, back off.
	And they get into a little fisticuffs.
	How do you feel about that?
	I like it.
	Love it.
	Amazing.
	Can you say amazing?
	That's what a man's supposed to do.
	There you go.
	So can you say amazing?
	Amazing.
	And I don't mean amazing grace either.
	She said to me once... Jose Sanabria was her fucking husband's name.
	He would kill anyone for her and then he'd probably kill her right afterwards.
	The first time she came to this studio, I was taking her to my car to drive her home, and she's like, Gavin, this is a really bad neighborhood.
	You're gonna get jumped by niggas out here.
	I had a dead cat in my neighbor's yard that my neighbor, my old neighbor, was such an absolute cock.
	And he wouldn't look at me and I'd smile and he'd just frown, I guess because he hated racists.
	You know what's amazing about you?
	You have so much animal instinct in you and yet you kill a poor innocent cat.
	Wait, I didn't kill a cat.
	Well, who did it?
	Your mother?
	No, Raymond... I'm reading a letter we got.
	Can you not see the screen?
	It's a $50 donation to the Max and John Fund, where the guy killed a cat.
	I ain't killed no cat!
	You just got done saying you took a knife and you killed a cat!
	A knife?
	Yeah!
	No, I'm reading a letter from a guy who shot a cat, Sylvia!
	I ain't killed no cat!
	You said you had a knife, the cat was at the door, it annoyed you, and boom!
	This is the second time this has happened to me in my life.
	You know what she said to me once at the bar?
	She goes, she goes, can you give me 10 bucks?
	I know I haven't paid you back for the last 10, but, uh, Uh, I need ten more.
	I'll pay you back both.
	And I go, that's not a great pitch if you're borrowing money to lead with the fact that you never paid the last time.
	Paid back the last time I borrowed money.
	And she goes, you know what?
	Fuck you!
	She goes, the only reason people talk to you in this bar is because they know you're rich and you got money.
	That's why they spend time with you.
	Because you got money.
	I swear to God I'll fucking punch your face right now.
	I'll break those glasses right in your eyes.
	Does she know you're Scottish?
	And I go, here's no glasses.
	Hit me with your best shot, half-headed jerk.
	Oh, bananas.
	She probably went home and called the ambulance.
	She used to have, like, fucking 20-year-old kids.
	Black kids living in her apartment.
	Because they had no place to stay.
	And I don't know if they were fucking her, but they stayed there.
	She must have been blowing them.
	She told me that her biggest regret in life was her savage addiction to cock.
	And I said, what, you just love sucking cocks?
	And she goes, sucking cocks?
	I'm Jewish!
	Matt said the same thing.
	Yeah.
	It's my affinity and I can't get over it.
	So I guess she meant getting fucked.
	Female cops though.
	Maybe she said cops.
	Yeah.
	She just loves fucking dudes.
	She loves officers of the law.
	Here's this video, I don't know.
	Yeah, let's get back to the video.
	This is free content, by the way.
	All this camera shit is free for anyone.
	Grab it, add graphics, and start a YouTube page.
	You'll be rich.
	That was John's idea for me.
	Right.
	Ray's.
	Was it?
	Or was it John's?
	Was that your idea, Medium John?
	Yeah.
	Well, that, um, there's that YouTube page that has like 7 million subscribers.
	Whoa.
	And they all, all they do is just upload, uh, body cam.
	No, no commentary.
	No nothing?
	No, they don't put, oh well.
	No commentary, no anything.
	They just upload.
	You know what?
	That's interesting because we often try to find a raw version and we're like, all right, enough of this.
	Like, there's too much bullshit.
	Yeah, like Donut Operator.
	I love that guy, but I don't want to show him on my show.
	Yeah, no, the one that I sent you guys a link, it has like six or seven million subs and it's just body cam.
	That's it.
	Is there a pipeline that you can get me like privileged body cam stuff?
	Probably.
	Oh, that'd be cool.
	Like first grabs sort of stuff. - People are bored.
	So she cut her lights.
	She went the wrong way on the highway.
	There's no reason for her to do any of this.
	I was gonna say, is she even on the same road as him?
	What?
	No, she wasn't before.
	St.
	Boterzo?
	The same road as him.
	I'm saying she wasn't even on the same road as the cop.
	No, she went on the opposing direction on the highway.
	And then came back.
	I hope her cat's driving.
	Her cat is fine.
	You'll be happy to hear.
	So you may want- this goes on forever.
	I highly recommend the entire thing.
	It's very soothing.
	Okay.
	But, uh, he finally gets her.
	Wait, go back to the pinning.
	Spike strips?
	The- the spike strips didn't- She rolled it?
	They should have come out, but I don't want to ruin the ending, but a female cop didn't pull them out.
	Whistle spikes at all hours.
	Missed the spikes, huh?
	So she escaped once and they did a chase and they were told to stand down.
	We don't want a chase here.
	So this is her second chase of the night.
	And it's like 6am or some shit.
	She's a real treat.
	She can't, did she, she missed it.
	I think it's another youth addicted to Adderall.
	They're tweakers.
	It's cops addicted to wanting to be a hero.
	I would have went to the fucking parking lot and went back to sleep.
	It's fucking pointless.
	What are you doing?
	What the fuck are you doing?
	Unless she's got a small child she kidnapped in the backseat, I don't give a fuck what happened.
	That's way too much for me to deal with.
	Oh, there we go.
	And she's got a cat in the car, you can hurt the cat.
	Yeah, I agree with you Stig.
	She's not hurting anyone.
	The problem with the world today is the cops are putting their finger in the dam and stopping it from breaking.
	And they need to fucking let that shit go.
	Because nothing's gonna change while the cops continue to fucking work with the constraints they're given.
	Fuck it, let everything happen.
	Until fucking somebody important's kid gets fucking raped by a migrant, nobody's gonna give a fuck.
	Yeah.
	Zero proactive policing.
	Zero.
	Go to calls, don't arrest people, do your fucking thing, and go back home.
	That's it.
	Drink a lot of coffee, read the newspaper, and just sit in a fucking parking lot waiting for them to call you.
	Hey, I said it was never like that.
	Don't get me wrong.
	Our fucking job is predicated on going out there and producing shit.
	I agree.
	And now they fucking hate you.
	They're gonna fuck you up the ass the first chance they get.
	I mean, AI is gonna change everything pretty soon, so it's... So you're saying if Sasha and Malia get molested, then we'll do something?
	Well, that's the only time anything will ever happen.
	Honestly, it's sad, but until fucking one of, you know, Governor Cuomo's kids, or Haakal's kids, or fucking somebody, something terrible happens to them, not that I want it to, don't get me wrong, I'm not fucking a savage, but until it happens to somebody that matters, nobody's going to give a fuck.
	Then they'll change the law.
	These people in fucking the South Bronx and Washington Heights and are throwaway people.
	Nobody gives a fuck about them.
	That's why they put migrant shelters there.
	They sent every fucking animal from Venezuela here and are taking care of shit.
	And did you see the guns on that fucking cop?
	He had jacked fucking arms.
	Holy shit.
	Look at the size of that motherfucker.
	Officer Clegane.
	Officer Juice.
	So what?
	So she's the biggest nut you've ever come across.
	Someone please check on my cat.
	You have a cat?
	Oh, that's nice!
	She was trying to get the cat to the animal hospital.
	That's one of her stories.
	So she was trying to take the cat to the...
	She was trying to get the cat to the animal hospital.
	Animal hospital.
	It'd be great.
	That's one of her stories.
	They took that cat out and just killed it.
	She also claims that a cop beat her up.
	You got anything else you're going to put me?
	Freak me, stop me, hurt me.
	She also says she's overheating.
	She also says she's dehydrated.
	That's math or animal.
	What do you think her pussy smells like?
	It's hairy.
	It's hairy, definitely hairy.
	Like her armpits.
	We're gonna go with fish.
	I wouldn't mind smelling hers.
	Filet of fish.
	So anyway, this goes on and on.
	She's fucking nuts.
	Everything she says is insane.
	Animal control will hold on to your cat for you.
	Okay.
	Until you're released.
	I'm so sorry.
	Please.
	Can I just go home now?
	Can I take my jacket off please?
	Help me!
	Help me!
	I did not want to do that to him.
	She says her mother kicked her out and when she called her mother about this her mother said, well you're on your own I'm locking my doors tomorrow.
	Sounds like they have a wonderful relationship.
	Why is that?
	Sir, I promise you I wasn't trying to scare or hurt anybody.
	I was just scared for my life, sir.
	While in the cruiser, the suspect voiced concerns over her medical condition.
	She also requested that officers brought her directly to the hospital, but they assured her she would be cleared by medical staff at the jail.
	They're going to medically clear you at the jail.
	You'll be under supervision.
	They don't want you I like how he says, no one wants you to die because we'll get in trouble.
	Yeah, we don't want you.
	Not that I personally care if he's alive or not.
	I just don't want to get fired.
	We don't care about you.
	Honesty is the best policy.
	Can I please see my cat?
	continued to voice concern over her cat and panicked over him possibly being dead.
	- Can I please see my cat?
	- No, we gotta go.
	- I hate you.
	Jesus.
	Is he alright?
	No, don't tell me he's dead.
	Please don't tell me.
	He's alive.
	No, please let me see that he's alive.
	Oh my gosh.
	Just kill your cat.
	I know he's alive when I stopped.
	Just kill her.
	The true condition of the cat is unfortunate.
	This is when Ryan would fake do an interpretation of a cat.
	Dude, Ryan is drooling right now.
	See, he's fine.
	When you say the word cat, he hears roasted chicken.
	Mm-hmm.
	I know I hear cat and I like it It's a very predictable video she's a nut bar and she Complains and says she's gonna kill herself and blah blah blah.
	I've taken my Adderall But the very very end is very very telling as this chick cop is like riffing with I don't know her captain her boss and she's looking for a pound and stuff and he's discussing all her mistakes and he's this is not a sexist person that just doesn't like women this is a guy treating her the way that um He cheats everyone else.
	And I thought it was such a telling and sort of a fly-on-the-wall look at women in the police force.
	So keep going back.
	Oh, he's giving her a fucking... You watch this shit to the final seconds, huh?
	Yeah.
	Stop!
	Isn't that weird?
	Good job.
	So proud of you.
	Stop.
	Isn't that weird?
	Look at that man.
	Like they didn't prevent a bank robbery.
	I'm not saying everyone should be tired.
	It's not Vietnam.
	They caught the cat lady.
	But, like, talking to your fellow cop like that?
	It sounds like she's talking to, like, a pre-K person.
	Yeah, or her sibling or something.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	It sounds like she did a sleepover.
	But a small sibling.
	Like, not even, like, you wouldn't even talk to, like, a 12-year-old.
	Hey, you know the alphabet.
	Yeah.
	Hey, good job.
	Awesome.
	I guess my point is they don't even know how to riff.
	She doesn't belong there.
	Right.
	The problem is they used to be fucking coddled.
	Everywhere they go they're fucking coddled.
	She got told no.
	She went to go shake his hand.
	I'm sure they coddled the NYPD.
	My father was a fucking NYPD.
	In 1990 he retired.
	They were fucking coddled there.
	The NYPD where the men are men and the women are men.
	No.
	Why?
	Because you did something wrong.
	What did I do?
	Two things wrong.
	Uh, my car.
	Three things wrong.
	That was good.
	I don't know, you said block him in, so I just came.
	So I should've got closer?
	Well yeah, you make it so they can't leave.
	Okay.
	So, seriously, what all did I do wrong?
	Stop.
	Doesn't it feel like she's making a YouTuber influencer video?
	Well no, 100%, because at this point, right, the suspect is gone, there's no reason to have that body cam rolling.
	Zero.
	Oh, so you turn it off?
	Yes.
	If the prisoner is gone, that's it.
	You're done.
	Only when you're dealing with the public.
	She did that to fuck him over.
	Or was worried he was going to say something, or was hoping he would say something he shouldn't.
	You know, tell her she's a dumb bitch, or something like that, and she was going to get him.
	And he probably saw the light flashes, so he knew it was on.
	So he probably knew it was on, so he was going to be uber professional, but...
	Fascinating.
	If he's smart.
	If he's smart.
	Stop.
	This is almost like an auditor.
	Like, I feel like she's holding a camera up like this.
	Basically.
	And filming him trying to get him to fuck up.
	Yeah, it's right here.
	Listen, he's a good boss.
	He's telling her what the fuck she did wrong.
	Like, that's what he's supposed to do.
	He's supposed to, you know, instruct her after the fact.
	Nobody got hurt.
	Everything worked out.
	But.
	But.
	While it's fresh.
	You fucked up and you need to do this because next time it may not work out this way.
	How often do you guys get reviewed by your, like uh, do you get reviewed every year?
	Every year we do an evaluation.
	Ah dude it's like there's a fucking.
	Where's your shot glass?
	There's an innocent cat who we don't even know is fucking alive and we're talking about like Like this chick talking- Dude!
	There's a cutesy-wootsy-kitty-witty out there, and we don't know what's going on with it.
	You guys are talking about fucking protocol.
	Un-fucking-believable, dude.
	She just said it was fun.
	I feel so much more comfortable when he's white.
	Oh, Bill!
	Oh, Bill, what about the officers?
	Ah, dude, there's a fucking cat there, dude.
	Great insight.
	I know, I've never, that's how I've always done it.
	Blue lights off, hazard lights off.
	Okay, I didn't turn my hazard lights on, I had mine blacked out.
	Hazard lights are on that way, they know where you're at.
	Okay.
	Okay, wait, stop.
	That's a whole other layer that he's continuing to record and she has the flashing red there.
	I did not know that.
	That's huge.
	This is a weird passive-aggressive attack.
	And it's not that you're in trouble Josh.
	It has to be passive-aggressive because he knows the camera's rolling.
	Right.
	Whereas if this was like real, it would look nothing like that.
	Yeah, he'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
	Are you fucking stupid?
	Are you stupid?
	You trained this?
	You dumb bitch.
	Yeah.
	But he's got to kiss her ass.
	Why does she have spikes in the car if she ain't trained on them?
	She said she was trained on them.
	She's trained on them.
	She just fucked up.
	It's actually a really good segment.
	It's really good.
	Training-wise, it's phenomenal.
	It's very good, but now we let everyone in the world know that instead, turn your blue lights off and turn on your flashers.
	Her problem is she didn't appreciate the fact that he was counseling her and giving her excellent advice and explaining to her what she did wrong and the fact that this all worked out but her being a fucking cunt is like well I don't know what do you mean I don't know that I wouldn't train instead of saying you're right I fucked up but I'll learn and he would be like you know what next time make sure you do it this way You've been cool.
	You never, as I was a supervisor, I don't know if you guys were fucking bosses, it sucks, but you gotta do this shit.
	You gotta tell these people you fucked up, don't do this because you could fucking ruin everybody's life after the fact, and you gotta not, you gotta... In the end, he should have looked into the body cam and said, go fuck yourself.
	Well, she had him in a bad spot, and he knew...
	He knew that.
	She'll sue and she'll get $250,000.
	Of course, of course.
	He'll lose any fucking hope of advancement.
	And even this, like, can I get a fist pump?
	It's such a YouTube influencer thing.
	He just said, I'm still not going to shake your hand.
	And she goes, oh, can I get a fist pump?
	No.
	I don't want to touch you.
	- It's like when someone's on the train and they're an influencer and they try to get fist pumps and then they do that, oh, woody-ba-dee-boo, doody-duppy-doo, and they do that stupid fucking dance that's viral.
	Remember that fucking subway thing?
	She's doing influencer shit.
	No.
	Did you even throw your spikes out?
	No, bro.
	I saw it.
	I did.
	You did?
	Yeah.
	Did you get them?
	I caused this.
	Oh, you did?
	Back there?
	And when you key up, I have spikes set up at, uh... Get off the air.
	Yeah, that was my bad.
	Yeah, I know.
	I'll work on it.
	If you are looking to adopt this... He would have shredded the fuck out of it.
	I didn't get that last part.
	So she said she had spikes set up and she was wrong?
	She couldn't give the location.
	She was King Mike.
	She didn't know where she was.
	She didn't know where she was and she was King Mike.
	She's like, I have spikes strips set up at, uh...
	Where am I?
	Yeah, she was incompetent on every level.
	- I'm finished.
	- Thank you.
	- Yeah, she was incompetent on every level.
	- They're really good.
	- Yeah, they are.
	- But wasn't that cool, man? - You can have fucking 20 of them, and you're like, "Holy shit." - You may have to sponsor these.
	You want a sponsor?
	You're really good.
	Boulder County Sheriff, uh, Lizzy Ray, built like a brick shithouse.
	This is a woman I think I will allow to be a cop.
	I will permit her to participate.
	Is she like China from WWF?
	She's invited.
	Oh my god.
	To Facebook.
	Oh yeah.
	No.
	Dude, I'd fucking marry her.
	We'd have D1 babies.
	Is that really a woman?
	She has a three and a half inch clit.
	At least.
	Oh, fuck yeah.
	Her testosterone is 1700.
	You know how you eat her out?
	That's a dude playing a woman, right?
	You're eating her out and you're testing your gag reflex at the same time.
	Is that really a woman?
	No!
	She's not someone who fucks you with her clit.
	No, she completely eats pussy.
	There's no doubt about it.
	However, if by some stretch of the imagination she does not, I would totally buy it.
	She's the only girl I've eaten out of that fucking clit.
	It's like touching your uvula.
	It's back there.
	That is not a woman.
	When you're done eating her pussy, she cums all over your face.
	- That's what I remember. - She's the only woman that has a cum shot.
	- She's the only chick you can fuck where your ass hurts after.
	She's a fucking albino silverback.
	I wanna marry her.
	I don't give a fuck.
	You know how you finger her?
	You go like this.
	Yeah, that was my next one.
	He wore stupid fucking glasses.
	I'm still smitten.
	Deputy patrols all of the various terrains that Boulder County has to offer within the mountainous areas.
	I myself live in Boulder County, so it's wonderful to not only serve and protect people on duty, but as well as off duty and be able to recreate in such a beautiful place.
	To recreate them off duty.
	When I first started looking into becoming a first responder, I went the- Imagine your friend says- That ain't no woman.
	It's a man.
	Your friend keeps talking about this new chick he met, how he's in love, and then he drinks fur to the bar.
	Look at the fucking 5 o'clock shadow she's got.
	What?
	She's got a 5 o'clock shadow.
	She's got more of a beard than I do.
	Her pussy is gigantic.
	Dude.
	It's gigantic.
	That's called balls.
	That's someone you fist.
	Yeah.
	Why are you looking at your phone?
	Sending you something.
	If that is a woman, it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick.
	Dude, that's ridiculous.
	I'm smitten.
	Jesus Christ.
	But is she really trying to pretend to be a woman?
	I believe so.
	I actually don't know if that's a woman or a man.
	That's a guy.
	That's a human man.
	Maybe.
	That could be a fucking lesbian who has been taking tea for 20 years.
	It looks like one of those bodybuilder chicks.
	I think that person has a vagina.
	I'll be it very small and tight with a humongous clitoris.
	It's not fun.
	You did what?
	I fucked a bodybuilder chick.
	My favorite quote from you about that is, no bueno.
	It was like grabbing a piece of wood.
	You wake up and your head is here.
	Terrible.
	I can't wait to fuck one.
	In the nape of her neck.
	I did it just cause I had to do it.
	Cause you're like holy shit I'm a piece of mortadella.
	Why not?
	Jesus.
	It was so awkward and nasty.
	Oh this is great.
	No, this is all fake.
	They cancelled the fight because of that.
	That's an actual woman though.
	It's an exhibition fight.
	No, they had the fight.
	That's a real woman.
	He submitted her.
	I didn't know that.
	Gabby Garcia.
	Useless female cop at 8 minutes.
	Leave him alone.
	Yeah, this is a great example of female police in moments of conflict.
	Where they, like you hear like, GET ON THE GROUND!
	HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!
	PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
	That's how you need to yell.
	When women are in these situations, they're like, leave him alone.
	What are you doing, you guys?
	Fuck.
	He said he didn't do anything.
	You're being a complete asshole.
	That doesn't subdue people.
	You need to scream at them.
	We're under arrest, all right?
	You're under arrest.
	Let me go.
	Okay?
	See?
	Let me go.
	You're under arrest.
	I got one.
	Use the other hand.
	It's Italian or Mexican.
	Stop!
	You're under arrest.
	Stop resisting!
	I'm gonna pinch you.
	Stop resisting.
	She can't grab his arm.
	I tell you what, I've pinched people and it's actually worked.
	It really works.
	Pinched people?
	Pinching somebody?
	Like if he's in that spot?
	Like literally pinching?
	No, like as hard as you can imagine.
	Imagine he's in that spot, he doesn't give his arm, and you just fucking just pinch the fuck out of him.
	On like his side?
	That would suck.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Ouchie.
	Paying compliance.
	Pain and compliance.
	Are you still ticklish if you have adrenaline running?
	Like, can you tickle them?
	No.
	On his feet.
	No.
	Let's see.
	No.
	On his side.
	No.
	Oh, fuck!
	Your botnist came here.
	Our head is waiting now.
	There we go.
	There we go.
	Look at her stupid tattoos.
	- Look at her stupid tattoos. - I believe you are under arrest for activated battery. - You're afraid of me. - For resisting a fucking...
	Okay, shut the fuck up, okay? - So the perp is some well-connected drug addict who like knows his mom's a judge or something, He's been getting away with this forever.
	He's been beating the living shit out of girls.
	Hunter Biden!
	And dragging them around as sex slaves, I guess.
	Huh What do you got?
	Agbat feel domestic?
	Yeah I got it I can't breathe Shut the f**k up okay?
	Fk you Come here Fk you F**k me?
	F**k you?
	Alright I'll pull up my car Wait Derek Chauvin is in jail for that Are you gonna get up in front of the way?
	If you didn't touch your wife and look That other guy got out, right?
	The other Floyd guy.
	One of them.
	Okay, Ryan, we want to get to cop emails, but before we segue to that, we have to do a Purpleworks nutrition ad.
	I don't have the Purpleworks powder here because I use it at home.
	So luckily, This morning I shot a commercial.
	So I texted this to you.
	Show the commercial and include the promo code at the bottom for this product.
	Is it the first one or the second one?
	The second one.
	The longer one.
	I think I said in the text disregard the other one.
	But have the lower third and everything for this.
	Alright, here we go.
	Disgusting?
	How's that disgusting?
	I thought it was Matt.
	- Oh my God, you disgusting fucking creature.
	- Disgusting?
	How's that disgusting? - It's disgusting, look at you.
	You're looking fucking Spongebob. - I look ripped. - Ripped? - Shredded.
	- I thought it was mad. - What up?
	The new Purple Works Invictus Free Workout is out.
	I am never able to show it on the show because it's at my house.
	I use it.
	So here I am using it every day.
	Every day?
	You take it half an hour before you work out.
	I like it.
	I don't take too much.
	I like mixing in my Gatorade.
	Oh!
	Shouldn't you work out if you're gonna take pre-workout?
	My god.
	They all went to the bathroom so I can talk whatever the fuck I want.
	Look at this fucking fat tub of shit.
	How the fuck are you gonna sell pre-workout?
	What a fucking insult.
	Look at his tattoos.
	They look like they had fucking bad prison tattoos.
	Purple works in victors.
	It works.
	Alright, I'm gonna have to buy that because I need pre-workout.
	But he's using his own.
	Oh yeah, no, I cocaine.
	Oh no, I smoke weed.
	That's my new shit.
	No, I need lots of weed.
	Fuck yeah.
	I want to find out where, what, that weed shit he's got.
	They send any fucking samples here?
	Yeah, they're supposed to be delivered to my house, but they haven't come yet.
	What the fuck?
	What, you want edibles?
	I want fucking everything.
	Alright.
	I'm fucking retired almost a week.
	I want edibles.
	I want fucking micro doses.
	I want something that's not fentanyl laced.
	Can I get it all?
	I got human growth hormone.
	I'm on TRT.
	I don't know if you guys can tell.
	Alright.
	What can you bench?
	335.
	335?
	No, it's ridiculous.
	That's insane.
	How much could you bench before that?
	265.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	You're bigger than that.
	No, but before that, I'm on fucking TRT.
	Get on it.
	It is the greatest fucking thing possible.
	Get on TRT.
	And my doctor gives me Deca, so I'm on anabolic steroids.
	Okay, what can everyone bench?
	Bobby.
	I don't know.
	I know I wake up when I'm on a cycle.
	I wake up like I'm 19 years old.
	Oh.
	What does that mean though?
	Like your energy wise?
	Medium John.
	It means you dick so hard, you fucking... It doesn't matter.
	I don't do more than 225.
	You can't bench more than 225?
	I don't do more than 225.
	It's bad for your shoulders.
	What do you mean you don't do more than 225?
	That's two plates on each side.
	That's all I do.
	I don't do... I don't know what my max is.
	This is what you gotta remember.
	Weights don't hit back.
	Uh, Ron?
	I once did 315, but I fuck around with, like, 265 now.
	That's how you gotta do more than that.
	Matty?
	No, I did- I did- Most I've ever done was, like, 260, but I'm at 225 right now.
	If I got on a bench cold, I'd probably do two plates easy.
	I'm calling bullshit.
	I have never broken 185.
	Oh, really?
	I guess I'm a faggot.
	I can shoulder press 185 with no problem.
	I'm going to change it, because my son can do 190, so I have to get above 190.
	You've got to jump on a cycle.
	What the fuck, 350?
	What are you talking about?
	305 is what, four plates, right?
	Yeah, but you didn't know it was four plates.
	Three plates is 315.
	I don't know, I only do dumbbells.
	What's Ryan doing?
	I only do dumbbells, and just like John, I don't...
	To get a PR you have to maybe put yourself in some danger.
	Rotator cuff wise.
	Concentrate on tries.
	I'm scared.
	But wait, I deadlift.
	I like to deadlift with a PR style.
	What's your deadlift?
	Like under 400 but not by much.
	Oh.
	That's pretty big.
	The thing with deadlift that I feel safe about, though, if you can't lift it, you just don't lift it, but you can get yourself into a bad situation.
	You get a big fat ass.
	I have a fat ass.
	It's true.
	He does.
	You could hurt yourself.
	Okay, let's briefly do cop emails before we take calls.
	Welcome.
	You've got mail.
	You've got mail.
	Oh, please.
	That's why I bought them.
	You've got pictures.
	What are you guys talking about?
	We're on a TV show.
	T.R.T.
	T.R.T.
	And you can't talk.
	I'm looking at my phone because I forgot my computer, but I'm looking at the show.
	We're being, you know... Don't forget to be the fucking change you want to see in the world, Gavin.
	Yeah, we're watching you.
	It's not our fault your one job is to bring your fucking laptop.
	NYPD officer shoots armed suspect in the foot after being shot.
	I gotta say, I love this fucking video.
	Thank you for sending it in.
	I just, you know, I get frustrated with the lack of pepper spray in the world, but when I see like a perp being a dick and someone just go bap bap bap in his foot, it just is like, thank you.
	He's grabbing his gun, by the way.
	What's wrong with you?
	What's wrong with you?
	Stop running!
	Does he know he's armed?
	Stop running.
	It's one of these fuckin' migrants that we're importing en masse.
	They're dentists, right?
	Can I get some fuckin' Tullamore Dew from some of you guys?
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	It's about fuckin' time, you pussy.
	Ah!
	Ah!
	- - I never seen that, that's fucking great.
	Oh my god.
	He shot his foot.
	He shot his foot off.
	He didn't shoot his foot.
	I think he actually made a perforated line through his ankle.
	His foot is toast.
	He made like a straight line across his ankle.
	Did the guy have a gun?
	That's why he did it?
	Oh my god.
	That's the fucking greatest thing I've ever seen.
	It's a gun and I guess he can't get a hold of him or whatever and he just fucking... P.O.
	fucking Abreu is my new hero.
	I love that guy.
	- Drop the gun, you got it?
	- That's fucking awesome.
	- You got the gun?
	- Oh man, what a fucking G that is.
	I've never seen that before.
	The guy was going for the cop's gun.
	It's not a random perp.
	His ankle is here and he just shot a perfect line like this.
	Why don't you kill him?
	You could have shot him in the leg.
	I did.
	Okay, I shot him in the leg.
	Suspect is off foot.
	Look at that shit.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	You can see the... Dude, you know how... If you grab him by his big toe, you would peel off his whole foot.
	Oh, my God!
	You probably know a girl that had a boyfriend shot her.
	He blew off a shotgun.
	Oh my god.
	That's awesome.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Wait, wait, play it through.
	His ankle's already shot at this point.
	You can actually see the hole.
	One, two.
	No, he did four.
	He shoots them four times.
	Two.
	Yo, that's right in that big fuckin' bone.
	Oh, man.
	He shredded his fuckin' ankle.
	It was completely done.
	One.
	Man, to who?
	Sesame Street, we're learning how to count.
	This is what you do with homeschooling.
	He's gonna have so much trouble delivering food on an uber-fucking-scooter.
	The owl from Tootsie Roll Pop commercial.
	Well, we're reporting fucking third world savages.
	The same ones that Columbus met when he discovered the Caribbean.
	So we need to cut out their tongues.
	Four holes.
	We need to show them that they're bad.
	We're only importing the best and the brightest.
	The dentist and the rapist and their brain surgeons.
	That's awesome.
	That's a pretty good pattern.
	That's actually, like, your joke, Ron, I think is the cover of Time Magazine.
	They had an illegal alien who became a surgeon.
	Yeah.
	And he was on the front page of Time Magazine.
	And you're like, okay, you found a smart one.
	Congratulations.
	Yeah.
	Did he just stab somebody's heart out?
	This is the fucking Mariela Bullift of our generation.
	They sent every piece of shit they could find here.
	Yeah.
	Oh, fuck yeah.
	This guy's, you're, you like to party.
	What's this, uh, definitions from my academy book for reasonable suspicion and an investigative stop?
	Wait, say that question again.
	This is my, my, there's a video?
	This is an email.
	It's a picture.
	A cop, I guess who's in the academy.
	Cheers.
	Okay, go ahead.
	Cheers.
	Oh yeah, because we were arguing about this last week.
	Detaining a person or searching requires more than mere suspicion.
	And then it says investigative stop.
	Blow that up, Jamie.
	Detaining a person.
	Investigative stop only if the officer has reasonable suspicion that the person stopped was committing, is committing, or is about to commit a law violation.
	Investigative stop, which is based on reasonable suspicion, is conducted for the limited purpose of investigating that reasonable suspicion.
	So there's different levels of it.
	There's common law right of inquiry.
	I stop you just because we want to talk.
	Then there's I believe you've done something, so I've stopped you.
	Now I have some reason to stop you.
	We're not just having a conversation.
	You are not, you don't have to tell me shit, but- And you're free to go.
	And you're free to go.
	You're free to go.
	However, most people know that.
	But with that being said, so last show I was on, I'm sorry to interrupt everybody.
	A couple guys commented in a thing that you do not have to show ID when you are stopped in a car stop.
	I just wanted to address, motherfucker, yes you do.
	In New York State, driving is a privilege, not a right.
	You do not have to carry ID at any other time except when you are driving.
	You have to explain or show us that you have the ability to drive, you have the right to drive.
	It's not a privilege, excuse me, it's not a right, it's a privilege.
	Which I disagree with, but okay.
	But it is written in the law.
	You don't have to give ID, but I will arrest you and take your shit.
	So, it's fine.
	However, you are required by law to provide ID.
	Gavin, I mean, according to the Constitution, that's a violation of the Fourth Amendment.
	But there have been fucking case studies.
	So what you're saying, Ron, is that the New York State law violates the Constitution?
	100%.
	Yes, however... Many counts.
	Driving is a privilege, not a right.
	So if I fucking pull you over for a lawful reason, which we're supposed to do every time, you must provide me information that you are allowed to drive.
	Correct.
	You can't turn around and say, I fuck you, I'm not... because then why wouldn't every single lawyer in this fucking country say, tell the cop to go fuck himself, you don't have to give your ID.
	Right.
	Did I ever tell anyone that?
	No.
	They never, never once have I heard a defense attorney saying, why don't you tell the lawyer, the cop to go fuck himself.
	I think driving in the Constitution kind of, that's where it gets really difficult.
	Driving is a privilege, not a right.
	You have to provide your ID when you're stopped.
	Well, there's Supreme Court decisions that we have to live with and it is that you have to provide identification.
	What if you're not driving but you're traveling?
	You can try that, they try that bullshit too, but the shit that you get pulled out of your car.
	Now if you're sitting in your car, and you're not driving, and the car is not turned on, that's totally different.
	Passenger does not have to provide ID.
	In New York City, you're not required to carry ID.
	Except when you're driving.
	So what if a cop stops me on the street, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm walking down the street, and he says, let me see your ID.
	I do not have to provide ID.
	Absolutely not.
	You don't have to say shit, you can keep walking.
	I don't have to say anything, I can keep walking.
	I have not done anything wrong.
	I can walk by the cop not even acknowledge it.
	Good evening officer and keep walking.
	But if they suspect you or believe that you're committing a crime then they will stop you and that bumps up to another extreme where then... You are being detained at that point.
	When I stop you for a violation you're being detained.
	He doesn't articulate you but I'm saying in his he has to be able to articulate okay at this step I became to this right and I think this is where people get a little bit like miss like right he doesn't have to articulate to you in the moment later on he has to say I am doing a street investigation And I will explain everything to you at the end, but right now, you are not free to leave.
	Give me your ID.
	And he's saying that because, in his mind, he already has the reason that... And at the time you say you are not free to leave, he is under arrest, and you can either bring his arrest and whatever you're charging him with, or you do what's called a voided arrest.
	And you admit, hey, I stopped him because I thought he may have been doing this, but he actually went through my investigation.
	He wasn't.
	I did the voided arrest paperwork.
	I have nothing to hide.
	Here it is.
	It's in my memo book, and here's the paperwork for voided arrest.
	My memo book, which, by the way, is covered in penises.
	The back pages are covered in penises.
	My wife was just in Iceland at the Penis Museum.
	That's a great picture, by the way.
	Where she's wont to go.
	I've sent it to a bunch of people.
	There's like whale penises, they have Jimi Hendrix's dick and stuff.
	Really?
	And then there's a whole section on NYPD's memo books.
	No way!
	Does NYPD, do you guys sell NYPD memo books?
	No.
	Really?
	And they have the NYPD memo books in the Penis Museum in Reykjavik.
	Yeah!
	And it shows just endless cocks.
	Yeah.
	We still do that to hats.
	Can you do it on the digital one now?
	No.
	Oh, you can.
	I don't know if that's a good idea.
	Yeah, it's kind of hard.
	It's like asterisks, asterisks.
	No, no, you can actually draw a cock on your memo.
	Oh man, that has to get done now.
	Let's take some calls.
	Ryan, show the call interstitial and the phone number.
	We're a little late.
	We usually start at 930.
	By the way, this is a free episode.
	We're putting it up on the Internetosphere.
	So this will be available to the seething hordes of lower class people, including Indians.
	Oh, what do you mean?
	Not just Native Americans, but the brown people in India.
	By the way, I'm doing a talk at the University of South Carolina with Milo, and there's already been massive swaths of backlash.
	Red Dot or Feather?
	Caratwainian.
	By the way, I'm doing a talk at the University of South Carolina with Milo.
	Congratulations.
	And there's already been massive swaths of backlash.
	Yeah, you want it.
	You want armed security?
	No, I want to die.
	Nice.
	If I was you, I'd want to die too.
	Still there, sir?
	Sorry about that.
	You want to stop driving before you get in an accident?
	Yes, I will stop.
	Did you see the 9-1-1 call where some woman calls 9-1-1 about her kids, her daughters fighting?
	And they're like 12 and 13.
	And she goes, I'm not strong enough to stop them and they've been yelling and punching each other.
	I don't know what to do.
	Hello?
	That's unbelievable.
	We're on a television show, guys.
	You need to get rid of your technical guy.
	He's terrible.
	This is not Big Brother.
	We're not just chillin' with the dudes.
	I'm happy to chill after the show, which is in literally ten minutes.
	But, uh, don't talk and don't look at your fuckin' phones.
	Like, white... Ryan is good when he talks to us, but we need Chinese Ryan to figure this shit out.
	Well...
	The call, it will go take a call.
	You have to be very quiet.
	I like the idea of yelling at cops.
	Was that an Asian-Australian-Chinese?
	Asian autistic.
	That was difficult for me.
	What's the number?
	Do you want to get on Skype?
	I have a bad feeling there'll be some technical difficulties for a change.
	Probably.
	I'm praying.
	Well no because this is compound censored now.
	So it should be fine.
	That's right.
	So I'm setting it up.
	Being set up and I think we're good to go.
	Let's click 2-1-0.
	2-1-0 you're ready to go.
	Hey guys.
	Hey female.
	I was just wondering why are there four cops and only one robber?
	That's an interesting question.
	Maddie, why is that?
	I don't know.
	I could bring a guest robber every now and then.
	Yeah, you want to bring a guest robber?
	Sure.
	What'd you get in jail for?
	Domestic violence.
	Domestic violence?
	You're beating up your man, huh?
	Don't you piss me off, okay?
	It happens.
	I paid my dues, though.
	Where, what, what town were you in?
	What city where you beat up your man and went to jail for domestic violence?
	And by the way, I don't believe you.
	Texas.
	Texas?
	Yeah.
	Texas.
	Come on.
	You gotta dress up in Texas for that shit.
	I hope you put some aloe vera on your legs after this because your pants are on fire.
	Thank you for calling.
	Next.
	Uh, 484, you are now part of our war.
	How many women have done time for fucking domestic abuse?
	Probably like seven.
	Hello?
	484, go ahead!
	They're gonna kill him.
	Hey man, um, I like your new sunglasses!
	I like your new sunglasses!
	I got in contact with that guy recently.
	No way.
	Jesse Pearson.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Stop interrupting him.
	You haven't let the fucking guy speak.
	Okay, sorry.
	I'll shut up.
	You want to do fucking calls or you want to interrupt him?
	I have a cop question and a Proud Boys story.
	Cops, did you ever use red dot pistols while you're on duty?
	Like loophole, EOTech, Aimpoint, Holosun?
	No.
	No, do you think cops shoot a lot of people?
	Fuck no, when you do it's close to shit.
	They shot two guys at my job, it's fucking... No, I'm asking if you use red dots on your pistols.
	No, you think they're gonna pay for that shit?
	Do you use red dots on your pistols?
	No.
	Not lasers, fucking optics.
	No, the technology's not there for the NYPD.
	This guy's sassy, huh?
	Yeah, fuck yeah.
	No, you think the cities that we work for is gonna pay for that shit for everybody?
	No.
	That shit's expensive to you?
	I was just curious.
	I know it's pretty standard right now in a lot of places, but maybe not in major cities.
	Nope.
	Not for us.
	And my Proud Boys story is, I went to a couple Proud Boys meetups in Philly, and it smelled like feds.
	Every time I was there, it was fed fucking city, and it was always in the ghetto, and I hated fucking going.
	Always carried my gun, always hated going back to my truck, and I swear to God, there was at least three or four fucking feds there every time I went.
	Are you from Philly?
	I'm in the suburbs.
	Fuck Philly.
	What a fucking shithole that is, huh?
	Oh dude, it's brutal.
	It's a fucking war zone.
	I only go into the city for like an Eagles game maybe once a year, but fuck everything else down there.
	Do you know the band Jesus Piece?
	The band?
	Yeah.
	No.
	You should check them out.
	They're really good.
	Hey, by the way, I'm glad that Brown John's on the show.
	I'm a huge fan.
	He's not there very much.
	He's awesome.
	Everybody else is cool, too.
	The guy on the right needs to speak up a little bit more.
	Thanks for calling.
	That's getting extraneous.
	But I'm glad that guy brought up feds, because I did coke all night once with some proud boys, one in particular, and he kept talking about how we need to start getting really violent to make a change, including killing judges.
	I'm doing lines with this guy, literally all night, and I'm like, this is what feds do.
	They say shit like we need to kill judges.
	So I, on the off chance he wasn't a fed, said, uh, uh, no, I don't think we need to kill judges.
	I think that's a bad route to take.
	It's probably going to have more cons than throws.
	But uh I've since seen that guy and he was actually pretty weird the next time we saw him but I don't scream that's a fed because this is kind of complicated and I'm drunk and it's 9 55 but The beauty of feds, as far as the state goes, is I'll plant a few feds, I'll make you think everyone's a fed, and then you won't trust your friends and you won't relax.
	Like our dude from the bar.
	Natty.
	The bald guy.
	We both sussed him out as a fed.
	He knew way too much about criminals.
	You were in jail with some weird mafia guy.
	What was his name?
	Christy the Tick Funari.
	Christy the Tick Funari.
	Now, who the fuck has heard of that guy?
	I guarantee you, zero of you know who that is.
	This guy was like, oh yeah, Christy the Tick.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, he got caught up with the Gambinos in 1981.
	He was part of the commission case.
	And we're like, how the fuck do you know that?
	And then we, so I go, you sound like a fed.
	He got really offended.
	But anyway, I'm so friendly with that guy.
	Not because I'm a fed ass kisser, but because Obviously you don't talk to people.
	Because you don't know anybody, clearly.
	I don't want to let them win.
	If I'm like, fuck you, you sound like a fed, fuck you, and I avoid people, I don't talk to people because I think they might be feds, they're the geniuses because they planted a seed and now I'm constantly in fear of everyone around me.
	I'm not doing that.
	Now, I'm not planning anything Jan 6 or anything, but if I was, I certainly wouldn't tell people that I didn't trust implicitly.
	But outside of that, which isn't a thing, I don't let them win by assuming everyone who says anything remotely suspicious is a fed.
	So, to that caller, I would say, you go there, you're like, this smells like feds.
	Relax, enjoy yourself, drink some beers, don't say anything incriminating, obviously, but don't get in this rut where you're like, that's a fed, that's a fed, and you can't go outside, because that's them winning.
	That's what they want.
	Yeah, it's true.
	For you to be in a constant state of fear.
	That's crazy, Matt.
	And then you can't do anything.
	You can't go to a rally or anything.
	Right.
	And how effective is that as a Fed?
	It's very effective.
	I just have to send out the scent and now all these people are barricaded in their basements, petrified of the scent I sent out.
	But that's not what the Feds want.
	They want to lock everyone up.
	All agencies do that.
	Well, they also don't want you to leave your house, and they want you to stay in your basement and never do anything out of fear.
	You can't even masquerade in a Target without getting caught.
	I mean, when you're in the Academy, they make you think that internal affairs is everywhere.
	It's the same thing every single agency does to everybody.
	- They have an asset in every precinct. - Right, right.
	They say they have an asset in every precinct.
	They basically, they get guys. - They don't want men grouping together. - I know guys that have been on the force for over 20 years and still think that somebody is looking over their shoulder for everything that they do. - Right. - That's how they win.
	And I hate that kind of, because you know what that is?
	That's self-policing.
	Yes.
	So now you are constantly, you're fucking alone in your basement.
	And you're like, they're watching me.
	I can't do this.
	I can't do that.
	Meanwhile, nobody gives a fuck.
	Like the globalists are sitting around picking their teeth, doing nothing, not showing up for work.
	And we're in our basement like, this was wrong.
	Oh my God, I shouldn't have done this.
	Like these fucking anonymous people online or, you know, that guy who was scared to go to the Tommy Robinson rally in case he was face ID'd.
	Like, good, they don't want you to go to the Tommy Robinson rally.
	Yep.
	So be aware of feds.
	Trust but verify.
	But they're not everywhere.
	But don't let the fear of them curb your behavior.
	Or you have people fucking not showing up for work making you obey.
	And that's a horrible way to live.
	Who can it be now?
	Paranoia.
	You're...
	Musical vocabulary is embarrassing.
	Ron brought it up.
	That was me.
	Sorry.
	Who can it be knocking at my door?
	Is that Punjabi?
	Who can it be now?
	It actually is Indian quality, that fucking band.
	They could be from Bangladesh.
	Yeah, it's a bangy version.
	Who can it be now?
	It's a sacred cow.
	Who can it be now?
	And then they had this fake charmer.
	Who can it be now?
	Thank you, don't come again.
	You gotta do some quarter tones.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave.
	Are you gonna drink the whole fucking shot of vodka?
	It's about time you stopped being a pussy.
	Jesus fucking Christ.
	I'm gonna throw up, you faggot.
	Hey!
	Am I here?
	Thanks, bastards!
	You made me what I am!
	Thanks, bastards!
	I took the guts around!
	Hello?
	Oh!
	Done doing calls?
	I made me what I am.
	Thanks, bastards.
	I took the goods and ran.
	Hello, is someone there?
	Hello.
	Oh, done doing calls?
	Is this Ryan Casu McGirt?
	No, something.
	He put us all in the lobby, I think.
	This is Ryan Katsuyama.
	The show's over.
	Bye, guys.

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