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Nov. 10, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:08:44

GOML S5E20 - BUDDHA TRIXIE (Free Part)

Beauty is hard to attain, dead dogs make men cry, Kyle Dunnigan is still king, cumbrellas suck, face transplants are amazing, burnouts are retarded, so is Cori Bush, toddlers cannot be drag queens, trannies are losers, students don't know what Hamas is, the DHS are censoring us, and our justice system is a complete joke.

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	BANG BANG I'm yelling into your mouth.
	laughter One more time.
	BANG BITCH!
	BANG BANG Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	That was pleasant.
	That's going to be stuck in my head all day now.
	That's what happens when you listen to ecology Homestones, when they combine their efforts with Pet Retina, impossible to look up those bands.
	No one knows anything about them.
	I think they're like experimental noise core from Victoria, BC, Canada.
	Beautiful little island to make such horrendous sounds.
	I don't really get noise core.
	I mean, I guess if you go to a show, it's a cool, weird thing to see if you're bored.
	But, like, do you put it on at home?
	When you have guests over, is it playing?
	Ryan does this sometimes with a snare drum.
	I'm unfamiliar with this.
	He wears a wig, and he shows people that not only can he play guitar better than Jimi Hendrix, but he can drum better than Neil Peart.
	What is this called?
	The name Ryosuke Kiyasu.
	Kiyasu?
	Is that your stage name?
	It sounds like Ryan Katsu, but this isn't me.
	Yes, it is.
	Good!
	I don't have a drum, so that's... Where is this show?
	Oh, you're in Helsinki.
	No, I'm in New York.
	What's this song called?
	I wouldn't know.
	I'd have to ask the person doing that because I'm me and that's him.
	Doesn't sound very good.
	Did you steal my purple works?
	I did not.
	What a dope.
	We've been robbed.
	We've been robbed of our Purple Works nutrition Luckily, I have plenty at home, and I'm on it now, man.
	What a brutal workout today.
	Came in, the owner of the gym goes, that's it, you're going in to do weights with Hector, and then we're doing pads.
	I was dry heaving all morning.
	Like, head over, and then I put my head over the edge of the ring after the pads, and I'm going, into the bucket.
	I might barf if I tell this story.
	But as I'm dry heaving, there's spit in that bucket that's been rotting.
	So I'm smelling rotten spit, which is not a pleasant smell.
	Like just plaque and dead teeth dripping.
	Oh, fuck.
	And then I'm dry heaving near the mat, and he goes, put your face over the garbage.
	And I'm like, I can't.
	It smells really bad.
	Purpleworks Nutrition's Pre-Workout is not only great for the gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
	It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, spikeball, or even shooty hoops.
	Someone was asking what that is.
	That's a funny word for basketball.
	However, it is especially effective for running, biking, and other endurance sports.
	Purpleworks Pre-Workout uses only the finest high-quality ingredients, creatine for strength, caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscle and tissue repair, and carnosine beta-alanine For the tingles.
	That's the pricklies you get in your hands and extremities.
	Purpleworks pre-workout has no artificial ingredients.
	It's manufactured in an FDA registered facility.
	It's formulated so that you don't have to cycle on and off of it like many other pre-workouts.
	But wait, there's more.
	Purpleworks has a line of fine imported Italian coffees.
	They have ground gourmet coffee, a big ass 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee.
	That wasn't stolen from us.
	And they even have gourmet organic instant coffee.
	Whether you're into the French press or the bench press, Purpleworks has you covered.
	Go to purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
	Where did it go?
	No one's gonna steal pre-workout.
	Yeah, true.
	Am I stupid?
	Am I a stupid man?
	I will not answer that.
	It's definitely not here.
	What, Maddie took it?
	Weird.
	I wanted to take the coffee, but then we wouldn't have a... I don't think they care.
	A display thing?
	Yeah.
	It's not like people, like, need to see what the thing looks like.
	What's it look like?
	Yeah, look.
	Here's the instant.
	Nice.
	You can look at it here or here.
	I like some instant coffee every now and then.
	Speaking of Ryan, he's doing a cooking show now.
	Ryan's Shitty Little Kitchen.
	And he just featured himself eating lunch.
	You gotta show us how you prepare your lunch.
	It's not sufficient just to watch you eat lunch.
	That's like Ryan's Shitty Little Eating Lunch Show.
	So I know I do Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen.
	I don't know about another show.
	How do you prepare that?
	Like, we don't know.
	Is it baked?
	That's a head and a face.
	You don't like my show?
	No, I don't like your show.
	Why not?
	What was that?
	A dog?
	A bear?
	A coyote?
	Why are you licking your lips?
	What is that?
	And did it eat a bone?
	That's too much face.
	Yeah, that's face.
	On both clips.
	That face is racist.
	Both faces are hard to look at.
	Take it away from me.
	Take it away.
	Yeah, I'm so anti-racist that when I see someone who looks like an exaggerated caricature, I go, hey man, take it down a notch.
	You're offending me.
	Not cool.
	Like if a guy had like gloves on and big eyes and big red lips, I'd be like, Oh!
	What are you doing?
	What are you doing, dude?
	Don't do that.
	I'm like a karate master of gross.
	Oh, God.
	Yeah.
	That's burned.
	That's like when you look at a light bulb and then you see it when you blink.
	Yeah.
	That's burned into my retinas.
	Don't do any more of that.
	Dude, this whole guy's page.
	Okay, I don't care.
	I don't want it.
	They're just thumbs.
	I don't want it.
	Dude, what is wrong with this guy?
	He's got nothing but the grossest shit I've ever seen.
	Oh my God.
	Don't, don't, don't.
	I won't.
	This one's poop.
	Can you do poop?
	No, no, no.
	At Marancio, when we did Intonation, when Weist had this concert, Intonation, a bunch of bands playing, and Derek Beckles and I decided to save money and not have a comedian.
	We were going to get a, what's his name, Judah... Freelander?
	Yeah, is that the number one athlete in the world guy?
	Oh my God.
	Dude, show up to work, please.
	Sorry.
	Fucking loser.
	Yeah, he calls himself the number one athlete in the world, that guy, number one sports guy.
	Yeah, Judah Freelander.
	Yeah, he wanted like 10 grand.
	I met him.
	And I was like, you know, Cas, we'll just do it ourselves.
	And we sucked.
	And eventually the bands were like, I don't want them.
	And so Derek and I were like moving past it to introduce the next band.
	And the guy stopped us.
	He was like, no, no, they don't want you.
	And every time I hear, don't want, I can remember that chilling moment.
	Speaking of not wanting, yeah, that was him.
	World champion.
	He sent Bill Burr a video of me doing an impression of him.
	Oh.
	He texted it to him.
	Huh.
	Let's hear you do your Judah Friedlander.
	I haven't heard him in a while.
	Let's see.
	Last month I was dating a woman.
	Last month I was dating a woman.
	Totally recommend that.
	Totally recommend that.
	He's a weird guy.
	I've met him a couple times.
	Yeah.
	He's one of those people you can't get a read on.
	Alex Jones, I hope this doesn't offend him, but a similar guy.
	You know who else is really like that?
	I met him once.
	The black guy from The Office and who's in Hot Tub Time Machine.
	Yeah, Craig Robinson.
	Craig Robinson.
	We used to hang out at this place, the Rustic Inn in LA and all the comedians would hang out there and I knew people that knew him so he'd be sitting at the booth.
	It just couldn't get through.
	There's just some membrane of like an act or some sort of... Yeah, they're just not themselves.
	Even Dinesh, like when we asked him, what do you feel about this shirt?
	And he was kind of like, well, that shirt has to do with my toad thing.
	It's like, yeah.
	Are you mad?
	Are you happy?
	Are you sad?
	Could be autism.
	Maybe when you are having trouble getting through to people, maybe the real problem is they don't like you.
	They're just giving you bullshit?
	Like, that guy's weird.
	He's real grumpy.
	Not to his friends.
	Not to people he wants to be around.
	He's in a bad mood because he doesn't like you.
	Oh, you don't like me.
	Like, I realized recently I was avoiding someone I saw on the street because I hadn't seen him in years.
	I didn't feel like catching up.
	And then I realized as I was, like, ducking them, I thought, people must do that to me.
	Like, the same way you duck and hide from people, they're ducking and hiding from you.
	Not the same guy, usually.
	That'd be weird.
	I saw this couple today on the street, and the woman was ugly.
	She was like a three.
	But the guy, the dad, he was like a 7.8.
	And then the daughter was like a six, or whatever those numbers average out to.
	And I felt this sort of like, oh, way to go.
	You made an ugly kid.
	The girl was like 15.
	This is horrible that I'm saying this, but whatever.
	Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	Did it say anything?
	What?
	It's Mercedes.
	Oh, okay.
	Calling from jail, where she's been for five years for a crime she didn't commit.
	And I don't feel like covering that right now.
	And I sort of like waited, like I was disappointed in him.
	And I thought maybe that's why beauty is appreciated.
	Because it's hard to get.
	So when you date someone who's pretty, other people are impressed and then you feel good about yourself.
	And when we see ugliness, part of us is like, ah, you just fucking cashed in your chips and married some ugly bitch, you lazy piece of shit.
	You gotta try.
	Why don't you try?
	Well, those two are pretty well matched though.
	I can't, the girl's hidden from me.
	Oh, that's Eva Longoria's parents?
	See?
	Wow.
	They lucked out.
	She looks like a Meat Canyon cartoon.
	The mom?
	Yeah.
	You ever seen Meat Canyon?
	No.
	Oh, he does great stuff.
	Oh yeah, I have, I have.
	He's great.
	Like, her face looks like one of these thumbnails.
	It's very exaggerated.
	These are maybe some of the best animation out there.
	Yeah, it's really good.
	Really weird.
	But so it's sort of like gold, like gold only has value.
	Well, it's pretty and stuff, but there's other, you know, rare and there's other minerals that are like quartz are beautiful, are just as beautiful, arguably, but they're not rare.
	So no one gives a fuck.
	But gold has value because it's limited.
	So maybe beauty has value because it's limit because it's limited.
	And, uh, We disdain ugly people because it's easy to fuck them, is what I'm saying.
	And when you fuck them, you look lazy.
	It's sort of like, we were talking to Cody for one of the Banked episodes, and his wife's Asian, and I'm like, when people see a white guy with an Asian chick, part of you, whether this is justified or not, is irrelevant.
	Part of you is like, eh, you're lazy.
	You fucked up.
	You didn't try or when they see you with a really short girl.
	They're like yeah, she was tall you'd be a man Fun things I think a lot of attraction too is based on What are you showing me?
	Just ugly people?
	She wasn't ugly in the first one.
	She just had bad mental health.
	I think that's a check.
	Remember there used to be a website for ugly people?
	Now I think it's a porn site.
	But there used to be uglypeople.com and I knew that that would get taken down and I was correct.
	But luckily for society it's now pornography.
	Instead of making fun of ugly people you get to see people naked.
	I liked that site in the early aughts, hotornot.com.
	I think it's a dating site now, but you would put your face there and like me, I would get like 6.7.
	And you'd go, well, that's just one person's opinion.
	And then it would say 326,000 people agree.
	And you're like, well, that means I'm a 6.7.
	That's a fact now.
	And I noticed, like I would look at it for hours, if the girl had her cleavage visible, she'd get an abnormally high score.
	And I noticed Asians did worse than they should and blondes did better than they should.
	But I'm talking about like a fraction, like 0.2 better or 0.2 worse.
	It was alarmingly accurate.
	So it still exists.
	Does it?
	Yeah.
	It's like kind of like a Tinder thing where you could swipe with people.
	Yeah.
	And then chinks like.
	Ten?
	What?
	Everyone's a ten?
	Hot or not?
	I guess it, oh, instead of like attractiveness, is it cool or not?
	That sucks.
	Yeah, you can't talk about people being ugly or pretty anymore.
	Or pretty, I guess, but can't make fun of uglies.
	I think the Zoomers are very matter of fact.
	Like people try to incite pearl, pearly things.
	They're just like, you're a fucking six.
	And she's like, OK.
	I know.
	I don't care.
	This episode's also brought to you by Nita Fashions.
	They're on tour.
	I think, are they done their tour yet?
	Look at the skulls on the inside of this.
	Cutting it close.
	Can you see that?
	Got my name in there.
	This suit is a great suit where... They're done.
	Oh, they're done.
	So you can contact them via Instagram.
	And I just said to them, hey, this is a really cool old-timey picture of Jesse James and his brother.
	And everyone in old pictures are looking like this, because it takes two minutes to click.
	So everyone's always bored in those pictures.
	But I said, can you make this?
	And they're like, sure, no problem.
	We got your measurements.
	We'll ship it from Hong Kong in about a month.
	Boom!
	I got a Jesse James jacket.
	Fun.
	I wear boots with it.
	Because I figured that's what he would wear.
	Oh, here's the guy that...
	Look at 1-5.
	This is where that guy in Ryan's shitty little kitchen got his dog from.
	Can we look at those clips again?
	What clips?
	The clips on that Instagram page?
	Nope.
	Hey friends.
	Hi, what's up?
	I have some really tough news to share.
	It better not be anything about Olivia.
	Did you say goodbye to Olivia last night?
	No.
	Gav, I'm sorry man.
	We saw it coming.
	You should have played the Woody Allen bump.
	Do you still have that?
	There was an emergency.
	And she couldn't empty her kidneys.
	There's an emergency and she couldn't empty her kidneys?
	And we just didn't want her to suffer.
	She passed.
	In peace.
	I'm not gonna fault anyone for crying when their dog dies.
	It's sad and if he was your best friend blah blah blah.
	But don't do it publicly.
	Do it in the bathroom with the door locked and the lights off.
	Then have a shower and wash your face.
	Why would you do this?
	She was my best friend.
	Let it out.
	Get it all out.
	There you go.
	Put your hood up.
	Cry in your hood.
	If you have a pet, please, please give your pet a big hug.
	It's a day you always know is coming and you're just never prepared for it.
	Well, I looked into his dogs.
	They're one of these inbred like royal breeds.
	Look at his whole Instagram page.
	Oh, it's for them.
	Yeah.
	Well, this, the reason I'm mocking him too is he doesn't have kids.
	He's a fur dad and his paternal instincts have been spent on pets, which is fucking embarrassing.
	Oh my, what is that, barcutery?
	Did he write a book?
	A cookbook?
	Over 25, playful?
	Possum.
	Possum.
	Snack beer, snack beards?
	Boards.
	Boards, your dog will love.
	Oh my god, he makes snack boards.
	That's right.
	Wow.
	Good thing you didn't have kids.
	Who has time for kids?
	Every single childless person that says they're happy that they don't have kids and they don't have any time, they spend thousands of hours on their pets.
	Bad dog, watch out.
	Uh-oh, he's a bad dog.
	This actually hits close to home.
	A friend of a friend who's a big fan of the show, Noah, got his dog stolen.
	What an irrelevant piece of information, Ryan.
	Has to do with dogs and losing dogs.
	So he says, hug your dog if you can.
	Noah can't.
	We're sorry, Noah.
	Right.
	I can't care.
	Have you got the Crowder clip?
	Yeah, I do.
	Where maybe something happened to his best friend?
	His dog had cancer or something.
	This was years ago.
	And he just bought a perfect duplicate.
	It's like this albino Australian sheepdog thing.
	Giant!
	And right when his wife was pregnant, too, it's like, dude, she doesn't need more shit to take care of.
	And then the first dog didn't die.
	So he's got these two lion-sized dogs.
	And my best friend is dying.
	And the funniest part about that is his best friend isn't dying.
	His best friend turned out to be just fine.
	I think he's still alive.
	Yeah.
	He's doing great.
	Well, that's, you know.
	What's this dude is awesome?
	I forgot what my clip was.
	Now this is probably a clip of me.
	Yeah.
	I'm gonna guess.
	It's just you walking to work.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm sure, like, you know that I'm a, the baby monsters are split down the middle here on the seat reclining.
	And this bald guy is on my side.
	I hate seat recliners.
	But he is the most extreme member.
	He is the David Duke of the don't put your seat back.
	So I claim him.
	But I recognize that he is one of our worst guys.
	Our most powerful and extreme.
	He's our Hamas.
	This is ancient Chinese great guy!
	You know, our country is in a slow state of recline.
	Okay, is this ancient Chinese Kyle Dunagan doing Adam Sandler?
	I haven't seen his, uh, does he still do, can I get a yo?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I'll look it up.
	Superglue man!
	I can stick to anything!
	Wow!
	Do the skeleton guy!
	Look at me!
	I have a skeleton girlfriend!
	Isn't that crazy?
	What?
	That's crazy liquid death man!
	Isn't that crazy?
	Please!
	Please don't kill me Mr Liquid Death!
	We put, um, DeepfakeMyFace.
	You're better at doing him than you are yourself.
	No, I'm really uncomfortable being myself.
	My whole life I've just been, like, trying to do something else.
	Why is his deepfake so much better than yours?
	That one's done in post.
	Oh.
	That's like where you run it through.
	I fucking hate those apps.
	It's like... I don't know.
	They've probably gotten better, but...
	That's really... I thought it was Adam Sandler when I first saw it.
	Yeah, these are creepy good.
	But click on Dunagan.
	Is he still doing that?
	Because him and Metzger, I think, had a falling out.
	And Metzger was 50% of that show.
	Yeah, I don't... Where's Sly?
	Maybe check his YouTube.
	Yeah.
	See, I think he's in New York now.
	That's pretty exciting.
	Why?
	He's doing New York stuff with New York people.
	You could tell he was always, like, not liberal.
	Just judging by the way he doesn't... New York is a non-liberal place to go?
	Well, L.A., I think we have a better community of red-pilled people.
	Yeah, that's true.
	I don't think they're allowed to have an enclave out there.
	Like, what's it called, Red Scare?
	That's sort of like smoking, sexy young people who are like red-pilled and over it and they're kind of mean and they say the N-word.
	I saw that Taylor Swift one, that was funny.
	The Fresh Priz.
	So that Wendell is the most recent one, right?
	You're going chronologically.
	Oh, wait.
	Well, that's five months ago.
	Okay.
	Five months ago.
	Let's go under live.
	Live is when he did that, right?
	It was always live.
	No, now it's Craig's news.
	Six months ago.
	I don't like Craig.
	I don't think it's funny.
	Yeah.
	Six months ago.
	It looks like there's a last.
	Hey, yo.
	That's too bad.
	That was like, that was a thing I would put on as like background when I was doing chores or whatever.
	What could have happened?
	Well, he's with Sarah Silverman, I believe.
	Kyle Dunnigan.
	Oh really?
	Maybe Kurt Metzger said something about Sarah?
	I don't fucking know.
	He's fucking Sarah, huh?
	I think so.
	That's good to know.
	Speaking of Sarah Silverman and her fake eyelashes, I rant on and on about how much I hate the new Cumbrella eyelashes and how my wife's friends, poor black hoodrat chicks, rich Dallas housewives, everyone is fucking wearing them.
	And I, do they not have mirrors?
	It drives me insane.
	This is how you look to me.
	Okay?
	What is that?
	Are those pygmies?
	Oh, it's a mask.
	Is that a mask?
	No.
	What's wrong with the shape of their head?
	That's how much shit they put on their eyes.
	They make their eyes look huge.
	But why does her head look like it's enlarged?
	What the fuck is that?
	It's just makeup, dude.
	And it's very annoying.
	They look like aliens.
	And this is what you look like with your fake ass and your fake tits.
	You look weird.
	I'm disturbed.
	Oh, not safe for work.
	NSFW, I guess.
	Sort of.
	If you like aliens.
	Is it a tranny prostitute?
	Like, what is that?
	Is J.R.
	Giger making people now?
	HR.
	Oops, sorry.
	HR puffin' stuff.
	Wow.
	And then also in plastic surgery news, we don't usually do stuff like this, news items, but what the fuck?
	So this guy, well, I'll just play the clip.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	Who the fuck thinks you can wear Chuck Taylors with a suit?
	Maybe we could talk with a seersucker at a summer party or something in July, but you're wearing a dark blue suit with chucks?
	What the fuck?
	Why was this allowed?
	You look idiotic!
	Like, maybe with a white suit we can talk, but he's at work in his dark blue suit with white chucks.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah, he's a real asshole.
	Bastard.
	You can't even wear white shoes with a dark blue suit.
	Sharing a medical breakthrough, the first ever human eye transplant.
	A team of surgeons at NYU Langone Health performed this procedure back in May as part of a very complicated partial face transplant.
	And now, for the first time, the patient has talked about his journey with our chief medical correspondent, that of course, Dr. John LaPook, who is also, by the way, a professor of medicine.
	Not a coincidence at NYU Langone Health.
	Aaron James has always been committed.
	That's where Anthony Cumia got his quadruple bypass.
	It's the number one hospital in New York and the third best hospital in the country.
	And check out how good they are at shit.
	Family, committed to his country, and committed to his career, helping to maintain America's power grid.
	But while doing that job on June 10th, 2021, he accidentally touched a 7200 volt power line.
	His wife, Megan, will never forget the call she got from his boss.
	Aaron's been in an accident.
	I said, is he okay?
	And he said, from everything that I'm hearing right now, and all of the details that I'm gathering, it's pretty serious.
	Doctors in Oklahoma and Texas did all they could to save her husband of 20 years.
	His left arm had to be amputated above the elbow.
	He also lost his left eye.
	And when you saw his face unbandaged for the first time?
	Took a deep breath and said alright, this is what we're dealing with.
	Go ahead.
	This is all blown off.
	Completely blown off.
	Look, he's got nothing.
	He's got kind of an anus for a mouth and then a right eye.
	teeth and couldn't eat or drink normally.
	This is all blown off.
	Completely blown off.
	Look, he's got nothing.
	He's got kind of an anus for a mouth and then a right eye.
	The rest is toast.
	Could we include the eye with the face transplant?
	Why would people think that you couldn't?
	A whole eye transplant's never been done.
	We're living in the future.
	Was that a scripted interaction there?
	Yeah, it did look kind of stiff.
	What the fuck was that?
	Could we include the eye with the face transplant?
	Why would people think that you couldn't?
	A whole eye transplant's never been done.
	This isn't the first first for plastic surgeon Dr. Eddie Rodriguez.
	In 2020, he performed the first simultaneous face and double hand transplant.
	Oh, I remember that.
	They're not great, but they're not bad.
	Like you can't go like this and play the piano, but he can like grab something and move it.
	Double hand, I'm a retard, but aren't there like 900 veins and capillaries and things and muscles you have to sew together?
	What, do you sew a vein?
	I wonder how many of those are like nerves, just so you could feel things.
	Nerves, how do you sew some nerves together?
	Someone else's nerves are now sewn onto your wrist.
	You got some nerve doing shit like that.
	Doing an eye transplant and you spoke to ophthalmologists or neurologists or your colleagues, what did they say?
	It's not possible.
	How do you get back there to plug it in?
	You go up through the mouth?
	What?
	You can create a human eye but you can't control the wave in your hair?
	Mr. Headband?
	When you went to Mr. James, and you suggested doing something that had never been done before, what was his response?
	He didn't hesitate.
	He said, if I can help out other people, and if I can help out other soldiers... So anyway, skip ahead.
	They do it.
	They give him a new face.
	That's all new.
	The bottom part is the new part for the record.
	And the eye, it's not working.
	But it's not dead.
	So it's just sitting there.
	Wait, what?
	Hi, how are you?
	Thanks for the face.
	Not bad.
	Does it seem to be getting better?
	Yes.
	It is getting better.
	- The 46 year old now.
	- Wait, what?
	- It's been just over five months - Thanks for the face.
	- Face transplant.
	- I wanna just put it out - Not bad.
	- Now that you have some trouble speaking still, right?
	Does it seem to be getting better?
	- Yes, it is getting better.
	Until I can get some feeling in my lips and get my jaw to open it.
	Oh no, he did have a jaw.
	He had no top part.
	This was gone.
	Like the mustache was gone, but I think the chin was still there.
	Like the opposite of me.
	So he has no teeth right now.
	Once he gets fucking teeth, that's going to be... Are you sure?
	How do you know he has no teeth?
	He just said it.
	To open more and get some teeth.
	Teeth.
	You also have a lot of things that are working a lot better than before.
	Yes, everything.
	It'd be funny if he said, would you mind if I kissed you?
	Sure.
	Imagine them kissing really slow.
	I thought you'd never ask.
	Well, come on.
	I tell her I got to get close to a mirror.
	I just stare at it.
	You're now looking for mirrors.
	That's right.
	You know, now I want to go outside and let people see me, you know.
	She's like, well, let's not exaggerate.
	I mean, you're not exactly stunning.
	That's so inspiring.
	You were a 0.1, now you're like a 4.
	So we were talking about ugly people before.
	This gives ugly people even something to grasp for.
	Imagine just, you know, you're so diff- like your face is all fucked up and you could just- you just want to get to average.
	Just be a guy.
	A 5.
	Just be a guy.
	You could be a five if you're a five out there.
	Well, you know, I always criticize plastic surgery and say, I quote Martin Short where he says, you never look at a woman with plastic surgery and go, oh, there's a 19 year old.
	You go, oh, there was a woman who was in a horrible fire and they managed to save her face.
	Thank God.
	But the problem with that is if it's good, you don't know.
	Right.
	Like Sharon Osbourne, I know because I've seen old pictures of her and that's an improvement.
	But there might be people out there that look great and I can't tell.
	I mean, by its very nature, bad plastic surgery is the plastic surgery that you recognize.
	So you're criticizing a bad job.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	Like this, I'm not sure if this is just natural, like diet changed or something, but that's Ivanka.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't look like she got any work done.
	I think she just kind of morphed.
	Well, it's an ugly picture with a flash.
	There is a nose bump that is currently not there.
	Yeah.
	So, yeah.
	I like that bump.
	I wish girls wouldn't get rid of that.
	Very Slavic sort of bump, right?
	Well, it's a Jewie.
	Oh, yeah, it's cool This is this is not related to what we're talking about this woman is likely to be suffer Oh, yeah, that's but it's also a young girl and like a 39 year old or however old she is like an uncooked human Yeah, they're not done growing.
	I fucking hate this doing donuts thing.
	We did this as teenagers, but you do it alone or like with your friend once or twice.
	When did this become a thing where you do donuts all night and there's a massive audience there who not only like is partying and laughing and filming it, of course you got to get it on your Instagram, but like trying to get as close to the cars as they can?
	Why?
	Pillsbury Doughboy is down. - Get up!
	Your shoes are with your wig way over there.
	That also is a... Boom, boom.
	Are fat people, like, do they not hurt the way we hurt?
	There's more of a cushion.
	Yeah, like, could a fat person fall off a front, the top of a porch, like 10 feet?
	Because I would definitely break something.
	Maybe they're better than us, fat people.
	I know drunk people don't get hurt.
	Racing's different.
	Racing's cool.
	I understand that.
	I understand wanting to go and watch it.
	But the circles?
	And how many times have you seen people get hit by those things?
	That whole Instagram account has like thousands of them.
	Yeah, street burnout fails.
	Look at this fucking guy.
	What are you doing, sir?
	I guess the moral of today's episode is I'm getting old.
	Yeah.
	Because I just don't get umbrellas.
	I don't get the Crocs.
	You know the stupid shower cap that black women wear?
	I've seen black guys wearing them now in the Bronx.
	When they're not wearing their idiotic baddie mask or whatever it's called.
	What is that called?
	Batty mask?
	You're supposed to know these things, Ryan.
	You're the young person on the show.
	Like the face masks?
	Yeah.
	Like a ski mask?
	Like a face mask?
	Yes, but it's got a name.
	I don't know it.
	My son asked me, my 10-year-old asked me for one.
	I'm like, uh, no.
	You will not be wearing that.
	Nice one.
	Which brings us to JumpMedic.
	JumpMedic is the first and only company that lets you customize your own first aid kit.
	JumpMedic is an American company created by a paramedic and baby monster.
	They have the famous JumpMedic Pro, which I've showed you many times before.
	Look at this thing.
	Just unzip it and infinite stuff comes out.
	Infinite.
	I searched through this for my Mad Max costume because I wanted some accessories and I couldn't believe, I'd never really been through it before, I couldn't believe how much shit is in this thing.
	They're now including a plethora of new products, largely thanks to the loyal Get Off My Lawn audience.
	JumpMedic has a Build-A-Bag feature.
	Just go to jumpmedic.com slash bagbuild and select what you want from their convenient drop-down menu.
	You can get one or more of their awesome Pro or Go bags.
	Or you can skip the bags altogether and just stock up on first aid supplies to your heart's content.
	They have basically everything you would need in a first aid kit and you can mix and match and select whatever you like for your bag.
	They also have the new ProGen2 bag.
	It's the pro bag that you've seen but with more netting to hold more products and more features like higher quality snaps and backpack style straps.
	They also have a new design.
	The Hardshell Pro Kit.
	It's perfect if you need this first aid kit for a boat or anywhere where that water could be involved.
	The Hardshell Kit, as well as all of the Pro Kits, contain the smaller Go Bag as well.
	If you don't have a first aid kit, or even if you do, check out JumpMedic.com.
	Free shipping in the USA.
	Enter promo code RyanSucks for 10% off.
	That code works for everything except the sale items.
	That's usually the deal with sales.
	You don't get the extra discount and then the manufacturer starts to lose money.
	Jumpmedic.com, kiddies.
	Jump!
	Ryan likes to ensure that we get a copyright strike.
	That's correct.
	Um... I got some random subjects here.
	We don't have to play the whole interstitial.
	Should we?
	Do we?
	Okay, let's do My Pet Biden.
	It's been a long time since we've seen this bump.
	My pet Biden On him I can depend My pet Biden A monster of a President He's big and blue and sleepy But a friendly monster too My pet Biden Wait, that doesn't rhyme So Hunter Biden, it looks like he's going to court That confuses me at first
	And then I realized, oh, I know what you're gonna do.
	You're gonna go there, he's gonna get some bullshit sentence like probation, and then you can throw the book at Trump, and you'll look like we still have a justice system, because we got our guy too.
	Hunter got it just like Trump did.
	So it's a fake trial, is my guess.
	And our justice system, just, it's fucking embarrassing.
	Like, we're becoming South Africa.
	Like this Eric sorry, I'm jumping way ahead here to three four So Eric Adams is in shit because his fundraiser was caught doing these scams with these Turks and getting doing special favors for these Turkish dudes He got the idea from a bullshit Indie film he was in in 2015 was it?
	What year was this?
	2017.
	So he was the Brooklyn Borough President back then.
	And in this scene, he takes a bribe from some Turks and cuts them special favors so they can build in Brooklyn.
	And that's a fictional garbage indie rock thing.
	And then in real life he goes, yeah, let's do that.
	And is now in shit for taking bribes from Turks.
	This is what I keep saying about Eric Adams.
	He is Tom Hanks in big.
	He's 13 years old mentally.
	So he's like, I want to do the thing where I was in the movie.
	We're going to turn that movie into a documentary.
	What an absolute loser.
	You guys are from Turkey.
	And we have a lot of swagger in New York.
	That's not bad.
	You guys are from Turkey.
	Brooklyn loves Turkey.
	Brooklyn is the Istanbul of America.
	Istanbul.
	Istanbul.
	Will you be my Istanbul?
	Istanbul of America.
	We love your food.
	We love your music.
	No, wrong.
	What?
	We hate your food.
	Your food's stupid and gross.
	Turkish music?
	What is it, couscous and some, those gross little dessert wafer things?
	Ugh.
	Your pastry's all candified?
	Yucky.
	Hummus, suck my dick.
	But I don't understand Turkish.
	We can take a selfie though.
	Looks like a great movie.
	This is before he was mayor.
	He was a borough president.
	So people want pictures of the borough president.
	Oh, if there's one thing Turks love, it's selfies with the president of Brooklyn.
	Speaking of terrible justice system, I know this isn't very Biden-y, but we'll get back to that.
	I saw this chick, she's a prosecutor for the DA.
	And I go, I know this face.
	And I realized, sorry, this is 3-0.
	I realized that's the chick from that record we were making fun of like two years ago, Full Communism.
	Remember that?
	The downtown boys?
	That does sound familiar.
	And I realize, holy shit, that's, she's a prosecutor?
	Like, I'm embarrassed.
	We say that Joe Biden is making America the laughingstock.
	Fuck Joe Biden.
	I'm embarrassed of our justice system.
	That meathead is a public defender.
	You're a meatball.
	Look at her.
	What's happening there?
	The most dysgenic people, they really do have the most dysgenic- short teeth, too much gum, weird eyes, like tranny eyes?
	I don't know, like Chris Chan eyes?
	Weird octagon glasses, matty hair, and a huge no hairline bumpy forehead.
	Her hair's like greasy too in that picture.
	It is.
	That's your- that's your- that's a lawyer that someone assigns you when you're finding out if you're going to jail for five years.
	No thanks.
	And just to remind you who she is, this is full communism.
	So should our prosecutors, should our public defenders be self-avowed full communists?
	That's their album.
	Yeah, this was years ago.
	Does it have the date?
	No, I remember this.
	They're one of the, well, one of the things we've talked about is how she's, it's one of the worst bands in the history of music.
	Like, check them out live.
	Democracy Now!
	hosted them?
	Like, they're big, they're darlings with NPR and everything, and this is Democracy Now!
	Are you okay, ma'am?
	You okay, Nana?
	You need a glass of water.
	If dry was a person.
	Do you want me to walk you across the street?
	Are you okay?
	Do you want me to turn the music down?
	That's her!
	The woman you just saw.
	That's Victoria Ruiz.
	Look at her.
	This song's gonna be stuck in your head all day.
	It's just like the opening song we had today for the show.
	That's such a great commie look.
	it really like that hat the five panel hat she sounds like she's down syndrome That's our justice system you're looking at right now.
	Go ahead, go to 3-3.
	This woman is a self-described, a self-assigned, a self-admitted full communist, and she's in charge of justice here in New York City, and this is on her video.
	So far, cops have killed three people every day.
	Three people every day.
	Three people every day.
	Why did the cops kill three people every day?
	What were those people doing?
	Were they just little angels getting a book out of the library, you stupid cunt?
	And then get this.
	This should be the biggest story in the world.
	And it relates to Biden.
	Communists are worse than Nazis, they've killed more people than Nazis, and they are adored by the left.
	Isn't it weird to be a full-blown communist on a platform called Democracy Now?
	I don't think you guys are compatible.
	Let's hear what old Biddy has to say.
	What a shiny shirt!
	First talk about Wave of History.
	Is that shirt worth a million dollars?
	Well, Wave of History wrote it about a year ago when there was a lot going on in terms of, you know, our own community in Providence.
	Black Lives Matter marches were happening all around the country and in Providence there was a very big... Is she a defender in Providence or in New York?
	Go back to 3-0.
	Good question.
	Please don't be New York.
	I'm pretty sure it's New York though.
	I mean she was caught in doing it in New York.
	A New York City public defender, yeah.
	Great.
	How the fuck did that person?
	Law school must be so easy now.
	And of course the state, the establishment, the tyrants, they love having retards as lawyers because they can be manipulated and they don't protest when they see injustice like this.
	This totally innocuous story should be the biggest story in the world.
	The DHS during the last election, you know the one where Biden won in a landslide?
	Uh, they were censoring our memes.
	The Department of Homeland Security was killing our jokes and censoring us online.
	New emails show officials at the Department of Homeland Security created a Stanford University disinformation group that censored American speech before the 2020 election, according to a House Judiciary Committee report exclusively obtained by The Post.
	The House panel's 103-page staff interim Report says never-before-seen emails and internal communications were obtained from the group known as the Election Integrity Partnership.
	Great.
	And show how it worked with DHS Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, CISA, to flag, suppress, and remove online speech in coordination with big tech companies.
	One of EIP's founding partners, the Atlantic Council's Digital Forensic Research Lab, described CISA's central role in the alleged censorship effort in a July 30, 2020 email.
	This is a quote from the email.
	I know the Council has a number of efforts on broad policy around the elections, but we just set up an election integrity partnership at the request of DHS slash CISA and are in weekly comms to debrief about disinfo.
	The Lab Senior Director Graham Brookie wrote, the staff report says the federal government universities pressured social media companies to censor true information, jokes, and political opinions.
	It goes on to say that they were focused almost primarily on the right.
	Conservatives.
	Motherfuckers.
	Like, why isn't this the biggest story in the world?
	That wasn't on the front page.
	Of course, the front page is covered with Israel, which we'll get to.
	Do they have an Israeli flag on their thing?
	Oh, do they take off the Ukrainian flag on the post?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	It's official.
	It's just an American flag.
	Wow.
	But yeah, go down a bit so people know that I'm not lying about the conservative thing.
	Wait, I think you went too far.
	Up higher.
	There.
	Staff report.
	Okay.
	So go down now.
	Sorry.
	Those pictures.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	And in the Article 2, you can see that they were well aware that this shouldn't be.
	The misinformation posts were made by public officials such as former President Donald Trump, Senator Tom Tills, all Republicans, media outlets such as Newsmax and the Babylon Bee, and many conservative commentators.
	Is our app still down from this app store?
	Let me try it now.
	Did we ever get an answer from our tech guy?
	Oh, that's like temporary or?
	He's looking into it.
	Sensor, sensor.
	It's not a very pretty word, is it?
	So sensor.tv comes up as an option.
	I click on it.
	Right.
	It's not there.
	What you can do is go to sensor.tv on your phone on Safari if you have an iPhone.
	I'm not sure how to do this on Droid.
	And you will click the share button in the middle and then you can add that to your home page.
	Right.
	So it's like the app.
	That's what Infowars had to do for a long time.
	Okay, back to my pet Biden.
	So Hunter is being prosecuted, allegedly.
	I don't see it going anywhere.
	And look at how cringe Jean-Pierre reacts when asked about this particular case.
	This is 2-1.
	It's just breaking right now.
	The House Oversight Committee has issued subpoenas for Hunter Biden, James Biden, and Biden family business associate Rob Walker.
	Do you have a comment on that?
	All right, thanks everybody.
	Where are you going?
	Like, she's just completely useless.
	Why does she exist?
	I wanted to hear what she has to say.
	She probably has a lot of intelligent rebuttals and creative responses, like Cori Bush.
	Cori Bush I try to listen to sometimes, but this is all I hear when she talks.
	Tutu.
	What's taking you so fucking long?
	Black people!
	Black people!
	The insurrection!
	Racism!
	Fucking good.
	She was winded.
	Yeah.
	That's why it was possible to do that.
	So yeah, our justice system is a joke.
	And Britain's not much better.
	So our old pal Tommy's back.
	In Britain.
	He went back there because he was being accused of stalking and he had to defend himself.
	He was told he was stalking because he went to a reporter's house.
	He went to a reporter's house because she doxed his home and Antifa showed up to his house threatening his family, threatening to kill him.
	They were not charged for that.
	So he went over and said, why did you give my house address?
	My children are in there.
	So she charged him with stalking and if you recall He let's just go back over the case briefly Nightmare of a kid, a Muslim refugee would attack all female teachers.
	He hated girls for some reason.
	I guess it's okay in his, wherever he's from, Syria or some shit.
	And he stabbed a kid.
	At one point he told this other little boy, he's like 13, he told this boy, I'm going to rape and kill your sisters.
	And he goes, no, you're fucking not.
	And he throws him on the ground.
	The kid had a water bottle, like a little plastic thing.
	And after he throws him on the ground and just goes, you're not going to go near my fucking sister.
	Just like if you had a sandwich, you might whip it on the guy.
	The media turned that into, uh, beautiful little angel refugee has been waterboarded.
	And so Piers Morgan ran with it.
	And they, that kid, the kid who fought him defending his sisters had to go into hiding.
	So Tommy, and we have it, it's on this website, it's called Silenced.
	Tommy tweets out, this guy's no angel, trust me.
	And they go, oh, so you're going to jail, we're suing you.
	They win for saying this kid, the narrative is not what you think it is.
	And he's going to jail.
	for criticizing this kid.
	So he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, I know what I'm talking about.
	And then he makes a documentary that's on our site, Silenced, where he shows interviews with the teachers and the superintendent, and they talk about him stabbing people, and what a nightmare the kid was, and how the boy who's being vilified is innocent.
	And the judge says, if this video of you proving your innocence gets out, you're going to jail.
	So, This actually makes me happy because it makes New York justice look not quite so bad.
	So the video got out.
	It wasn't Tommy's fault, but they're counting that as his fault.
	And now that he's back with that stalking charge, he's facing two years in jail.
	I can show you the document.
	It was put out online.
	So now that you're in the country and you're no longer in hiding, we'd like to get you for you releasing that video.
	And that's called contempt of court.
	You realize he's already done two sentences for contempt of court for that other bullshit charge.
	Double jeopardy.
	So yes, our justice system sucks, but if you go across the ocean, you can find an even worse justice system.
	Okay, let's do some War on Kids. - Hello, fans!
	I had a sex change operation.
	Who wants to pound my back?
	We're living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	regulations to indoctrinate America's school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
	On your feet, soldier!
	On your feet!
	This is disturbing.
	We have discovered the world's youngest drag queen.
	He appears to be about four.
	And the parents' take is, can you believe people are mad at us?
	We've got death threats.
	Yeah, you did.
	You're vile.
	Vice, my old alma mater, thanks.
	I designed that logo.
	I created that company.
	And this is what it's reporting now.
	And look at the way it's framed.
	Can you go back to the beginning?
	My name is Asa.
	I am six years old.
	Six.
	And I do drag.
	Asa is a baby drag queen.
	He performs at drag shows as Lulu Lovely Twirls.
	Who are these fucking people going to this?
	Where you headed?
	Pause.
	Where are you going tonight?
	You guys are all dressed up.
	Oh, we're going to see a six-year-old dance around provocatively like he's... Parents say that their enemies say that he's dancing provocatively.
	Do we have eyeballs?
	Like, that's provocative.
	And they always use the myths like those toddlers in tiaras as proof that the right doesn't really care about kids and sexuality.
	Toddlers in tiaras is not sexual.
	It's a joke.
	And by the way, very few of us are down with it.
	It's not a common thing.
	Like if you look at that show, in the audience, there's like 10 people there.
	And it's the kid's mom and dad and aunt and then the homo who's dressing them up.
	We're not a fan, but it's very esoteric.
	This is pretty fucking mainstream.
	Go ahead.
	There's even adult performers that sometimes we can outperform.
	Outperform?
	- He is by far the youngest performer we've seen.
	- There's even adult performers that sometimes we can outperform.
	- I wouldn't be surprised if this is the next RuPaul.
	- At first I was terrified.
	You never really know what people's reactions are gonna be.
	- Splits. - What do you think the biggest misconception of Asa and what he's doing is?
	I think there's a few.
	People who don't like what we believe can sometimes be violent.
	So stop.
	People want to cause harm.
	Do you see that?
	So we're religious zealots, lunatics.
	We're waving Jesus signs because we don't, we don't care if your son's gay.
	And by the way, for the millionth time, there's no such thing as a gay kid.
	They're eggs.
	It's going to be a bird.
	I believe you're gay at birth for the most part, but gay is a sexuality.
	So it hasn't gone through puberty yet.
	It's not a sexual thing yet.
	Maybe it is going to be gay.
	You can sometimes tell when they're into show tunes and stuff, but uh, He's celebrating his sexuality as the problem, my dear. - To our family, like legit harm. - We're getting death threats.
	- Horrible things being said.
	- That there was a child stripping. - And dancing.
	- Yes, there was.
	His dress comes off.
	Now he has another dress underneath.
	Here in New York, the strip clubs are all gone for the most part, but you're allowed to strip if you don't show any nudity.
	So the girls will wear bikinis and then they'll take off their bikini top and reveal another bikini top that was underneath.
	So that's literally stripping in Manhattan.
	And they're denying that they're doing it.
	Calling us groomers, pedophiles.
	Child Protective Services was called on us.
	Yes.
	And then the anti-drag bill.
	He seems gay, doesn't he?
	We had a child that would be directly affected by this law.
	Asa whispered in my ear, can I testify?
	I still wasn't sure where I was at with him performing drag at that point.
	He looks like a gay baboon.
	It's like he was born to do this.
	No, you were born to do this.
	Omaha!
	The same way you see the lefties flock to commies, the lefties love to flock to any child grooming controversy.
	And they pretend that they're there to save this boy.
	But they're really there to groom him.
	This is how gays breed.
	They encourage this kind of behavior.
	So this segment is clearly proving to us that he's gay.
	- Townsville.
	- What's Townsville from?
	- Powerpuff Girls.
	- The Mayor's Tower, which has the pride flag.
	- You made this for you.
	- My dad.
	- I would consider our family to be a traditional family.
	- I consider you to be a fag.
	- Traditional family.
	- You were on an old man's back on Led Zeppelin IV.
	They all do different sports.
	They all have their activities that they do.
	But we have a child that's interested in something that's maybe not as traditional.
	Asa refers to himself as a drag queen.
	He does it very proudly.
	Where'd he get that from?
	He performs at drag shows.
	Oh, it looks like he's taking off some clothing there, my dear.
	He puts together and produces his own numbers for drag shows.
	Oh, that's really disturbing when they do that voguing shit.
	I like how, we got it, I like how at the beginning he's like, I think it could be the next RuPaul, like we're gonna go, he's that good?
	Yeah, yeah, all the skills.
	Is that all for kids?
	What?
	Well, we're going to drift into LGBTQ, but you don't have to do the thing.
	Did you hear about the freaking, uh, the freaking, the British hospital that won't release the terminally ill kid?
	It's like the government of Italy, uh, offered to what the Vatican was going to pay for everything.
	But this pretty much sums it up.
	After recent years British judges and doctors have been repeatedly under fire and criticism from Christians and other groups like Italy and Poland for upholding decisions to end life support for terminally ill children when that conflicts with the parents wishes.
	So they just want to like take their child out of the hospital but they won't let them like take their baby home.
	They won't let them be discharged, but they also aren't caring for it anymore.
	So it's 18 months old.
	So they're holding this baby and letting it die.
	Yeah.
	Against the parent's will.
	Yeah.
	They can't bring him home and they won't let the baby be airlifted to get treatment for free.
	And then the parents are just pleading, can you please let the baby go so we could try this?
	So yeah, it's pretty crazy.
	That's amazing.
	No pics?
	Who's the baby?
	Oh my lord.
	18 months.
	Did you see the all children's hospital?
	They just had to pay out something like $220 million because they kept this girl against her will.
	They insisted she was sick and she wasn't.
	And they wouldn't let the mother take her.
	And the mother was so distraught she killed herself.
	And so the daughter, looks like she's like 14 now, just got $220 million.
	And I think I have it in my notes under competency crisis.
	It is evil, but it's also brutal incompetence.
	Yeah.
	Take care of Maya case, find hospital liable for malpractice.
	Sheesh.
	But why is that woman doing that to that toddler?
	Obviously, because she wants to be famous.
	She wants to be part of this.
	She wants to be non-white.
	It's boring white people who hate being white and they want to be a minority.
	And if they can't be gay, they can make their son gay.
	And now they're special.
	Now they're part of lives mattering.
	And go to 26.
	This is more proof that it's usually just losers.
	Losers that don't want to be nerds anymore, so they become trans dogs.
	But here's why, here's why I don't like it.
	Not all trans people are nuts, but nuts find this As a good way to scream in pain, cry out as they inflict pain upon you.
	And a perfect example, we're drifting from kids now, but this 2-4 thing.
	So this guy's abusing his parents.
	He's physically harming them.
	He's taking money from them, extorting them.
	They put out a restraining order on him.
	And his takeaway is, they used my wrong name in the police reports.
	My dead name.
	I just learned something and I just I'm kind of speechless and I just want to capture some of what's going on and talk about this so I'm just kind of speechless that with my court case here they filed the charges in my dead name I'm transgender and I'm not she and her pronouns and And I legally changed my name.
	Do you get what I'm saying?
	Like Antifa, I said not all Antifa are violent but if you're violent and you want to hurt people without consequences you put on a mask and you join Antifa.
	So this guy would have been abusing elders no matter what environment he's in but if he says trans he can be more of a victim than an assailant.
	Years ago to Danielle Tatiana Moscato.
	I came out of the closet ten years ago.
	Tatiana.
	And they filed these charges in my dead name.
	Who did?
	Who filed charges and why?
	It's an offensive thing to do to bring up somebody's dead name for any reason.
	You know you're fucked when your parents are charging you with stalking and filing a restraining order.
	And then my final proof of losership is this disgusting, stinky animal talking about what losers' incels are.
	Like, we don't have eyes.
	How does she not know what she looks like?
	It's 2-5. - An incel is just like someone who's involuntarily celibate.
	That loser sitting on Reddit for 23 hours a day with Cheeto dust and empty Mountain Dew cans all around them.
	Oh, you wouldn't leave any Cheeto dust.
	That's the only reason.
	Yeah, you inhale those Cheetos.
	Fucking snorts it.
	Is that Cheetos?
	And it just has a real stank smell.
	Are you kidding?
	You smell great, by the way.
	Mmm.
	That is an IMAX-sized projection we're seeing.
	Those folds smell like cinnamon and sweet dreams.
	She's talking about a neck beard.
	She has a beard made of skin and she's mocking neck beards.
	Look at those tits.
	- The hair is a little crusty and the beard-- - How's your fedora coming?
	She's talking about a neck beard.
	She has a beard made of skin and she's mocking neck beards.
	Look at those tits.
	It's just sort of random what you choose to be your tits.
	How about you?
	All her folds are waiting when she wakes up.
	I hope I get to be a tit today.
	And then it's, ah, the one right above me gets to be tits.
	It's like annexing new land in a new discovered continent.
	I guess I'll choose this one because it has a nipple on it.
	This one goes along the river, so that's for Louisiana.
	This one, when you're looking at, cannot wipe her ass.
	She has a special long stick that's a plastic thing that she grabs a wet wipe with and then she goes there and just hopes she's getting the right spot.
	In other words, just shit on her ass right now because she didn't get the right spot.
	But the facial hair is weak and there's a bald spot in the back and you can just see the fedora just hanging on for dear life and he's sitting there muttering under his breath about how like Jessica Alba's ugly.
	Right.
	By the way, she's talking about, like, autistic people.
	They wear fedoras, so that's not nice.
	Yeah, you know, yeah, that's what you're talking about.
	Yeah.
	And you explain what she's sitting there with like a nine and they're both laughing at ugly people.
	Loser sitting on Reddit for like, I would just talk to her and like emphasize fat Dora.
	I'd be like, so they, they probably do wear a fat Dora.
	They're so fucking fat fat Dora's Yeah, they're disgusting fat pigs, and then she slowly is just like yeah, we got to get behind the paywall But before we do, I'd like to mention Patriot 1776.
	Are you still supporting toxic products and companies owned by woke megacorporations?
	Well, Patriot1776.store has found a solution.
	A company committed to making their products in America.
	They're privately owned, which means that BlackRock, State Street, and Vanguard can't get a voting interest by owning their stock and forcing ESG and D.I.E.
	policies.
	This company is making its own decisions employing Americans and not putting toxic chemicals into its products and food.
	It's a membership service that can be thought of as a competitor to Amazon and the big box stores like Target and Walmart.
	They have over 400 high-quality everyday household items.
	These products are just as good or better than the mainstream counterparts and at competitive prices for their members.
	So why give hundreds of dollars a month to corporations that hate us when there's an American Patriot-owned company who is providing alternatives?
	Go to Patriot1776.store today and fill out the form at the top of the page.
	You'll receive an email or text soon after explaining how to get involved and become a member.
	This could be a great solution for how to vote with your dollars when it comes to your family or household's monthly essential spending.
	Patriot1776.store likes you more than a friend.
	Isn't that exciting?
	After the paywall, can I give a quick update on our new favorite musician, Estelle Allen?
	She's taken down the comments.
	Didn't we talk about that last night?
	Well, now there's more.
	Since you've told people that we're going to keep giving her love and support, there's been a lot of people doing that.
	Really?
	On Twitter, yeah.
	All right, well, let's discuss that behind the paywall.
	So goodbye, freeloaders.
	And by the way, $12 a month now.
	There's infinite shows.
	We're getting new contributors all the time.
	A new guy coming up soon.
	We'll announce when that's all ready to launch.
	So you get more TV than you can shake a stick at at Censored.tv.
	I do a show every single day.
	I do a lot of prep.
	For the various categories various presentations.
	I'm gonna do a whoosker do battle of the bands much to everyone's chagrin because I enjoy it and If you feel like you're losing your mind in clown world This is the only literally the only place to get right-wing comedy.
	We joke around we laugh at that fat pig and enjoy ourselves so daily wires great blaze is great, but Oh wait a minute, there is one other show.
	Alex Stein, Prime Time 99.
	I don't think they do news though.
	This is like news with funny, like sugar with medicine.
	Yeah, well it's the only other place though where right-wing comedy exists.
	So with one exception.
	And that's just one show.
	This is an entire network of people laughing at Clown World.
	So check it out.
	And for the baby monsters that have already checked it out, let's get intimate.
	Bye!
	Oh wait!

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