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May 19, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:53:03

S4E255 - IDIOCRACY (Part 1)

Here are 20 things from the movie Idiocracy that came true but before we get to that, check out Australian goth surf, Island Boys tattoo removal, Michael Rappaport’s Trump Derangement Syndrome, innocent Karens, and guilty of being white.

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	Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Sings Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
	Sings Sings Sings Sings And I hope I never see your face again.
	Don't want to, don't want to be in this place again.
	And I hope I never see your face again.
	Don't want to, don't want to be in this place again.
	Get lost, a Dazonia is a chance.
	Just more surf goth from Australia.
	When will they stop churning out that surf goth?
	Guys in black sweaters and tight black pants, pointy shoes, riding the waves, getting some tasty brews.
	I don't know what is going on with Australia, why their music is so good.
	With such incredible variety too.
	There's no Australia sound.
	There's like great goth, pop, rock, punk.
	I'm in awe.
	I don't know what God is up to.
	Is he trying to get us to move there?
	Okay, I understand their immigration is very strict.
	Welcome to the free live show as I warned last week you will not be getting an entire episode I've had enough of you freeloaders, so we're gonna cut this about half an hour in right guy.
	Oh, yeah See you later.
	But before we get started, oh Johnny Apples CBD is back.
	That's exciting.
	It is.
	I think you're supposed to read the Johnny Apples seed as your Japanese guy.
	Maybe you could just join me.
	So I'll read the copy for it and then you could just interject with that guy.
	Yes.
	What's his name again?
	Ching Chong.
	But he's Japanese.
	So it's Jin... Jin Jono.
	Okay.
	The great thing about Purple Works... This is my pre-workout.
	I was not working out this week.
	I took a week off to indulge myself.
	I don't recommend it.
	No, that's good to do.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I think, I'm worried that this is why I'm red.
	Oh, maybe.
	But you said you like that I'm, you said I look good.
	Go to 1-4.
	This is Ryan, I knew I had to record this, because he was giving me a compliment about how red I am, and I thought, I need this on record.
	Yeah.
	Alright, well, here it is.
	Hey, um, is that a sunburn on your face, or are you just always this hot?
	So thank you for that, Ryan.
	You're welcome.
	And after I said that, too, he was so happy, because I said, dude, that made me feel really good, that compliment you gave me about my sunburn, my red face.
	And I don't compliment Ryan very much, but afterwards, he's been pumped ever since.
	Check him out.
	This is after I said, thanks, dude, you're a good friend.
	Look how good he feels.
	Good song.
	Is that guy serious?
	Yes he is.
	What is that guy?
	Uh, he looks like an Asian-Latino mix.
	Huh.
	Which I resent.
	Like you.
	Yes.
	Speaking of Asian-Latino mixes, check out 1-1.
	This is, uh, I don't think this is Ryan actually.
	This is a different guy.
	Are we still in the ad?
	Not yet, I guess.
	Have you seen this one yet?
	I haven't.
	It might be a drop.
	...statement, now would you like to say something, make a message to our viewers?
	All my fellow Filipinos, now this is my side.
	You can say in English because you can understand.
	All my fellow Filipinos, now this is my side.
	Listen, look, and listen, and learn.
	Listen, look, and listen, and learn.
	Alright, that's enough.
	The great thing about Purpleworks is they put in a reasonable amount of ingredients.
	300-500% of your daily value instead of other products that have literally 10,000%.
	You just pee it out.
	They have high quality creatine, beta alanine, vitamins, caffeine, green tea extract.
	Purpleworks is manufactured in an FDA registered facility with no artificial flavors or dyes.
	Purpleworks now has a line of fine Italian coffee.
	Ryan, please bring up the coffees on their website.
	They've got the organic whole bean 2.2 pound bag.
	They've got instant coffee and two 8 point ounce tins of fresh ground Italian coffee.
	Made in Italy.
	We haven't tried it yet, but we've heard great things.
	There's a reason Purpleworks has been advertising on Get Off My Lawn for several months now.
	They're selling a lot of pre-workout and people are loving it.
	Pre-workout is a bit of a niche product.
	So if you've been wanting to support this small business, but you aren't a big gym or sports person, here's your chance.
	Everyone buys coffee.
	So get it from Purpleworks.
	It's cool to see them introduce new products.
	I hear they have a multivitamin coming soon.
	Largely thanks to all of you who have been supporting them.
	Go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
	I have a monolithic presentation to do today.
	Very monolithic presentation.
	It's a very difficult monolithic presentation.
	And it's 20 ways idiocracy has come true.
	So we're going to be getting to that.
	Here's a little taste though of the idiocracy we're living in.
	That, that airhead chick who got the Island Boys tattooed on her neck.
	She's having it removed.
	I think it was, I think it was on her neck for about a week.
	She also has Frank written across her tit, but he slapped her around and that's a deal breaker.
	I hear it kills to get tattoos removed.
	Although now, the thing about pills like Xanax and everything, it's taken away this sort of bad boy vibe that you used to get from tattoos.
	Like I got my first tattoo in 1988 and everyone who saw it would go, did it hurt?
	That was the question.
	And now there's numbing creams and all kinds of stuff.
	Tattoo your face, tattoo your neck.
	Get your neck tattoo removed.
	It's never gonna be removed, by the way.
	It just looks shitty and weird.
	It just looks very, very light.
	Which, now, if it's really, really light, it looks like you've had it for 40 years.
	So now you look old.
	Old and stupid.
	That's young and stupid.
	Look how dumb that guy is.
	Hey Island Boy, what's 136 plus 137?
	Hey, Island Boy, what's 136 plus 137?
	Hey, Island Boy, name three continents.
	I know I look fucked up and I was sitting in County Joe for three days and stuff like that.
	24 hours lockdown.
	But I'm out, man.
	I'm free.
	Stop playing.
	Yes, sir.
	I know I look fucked up right now.
	I was sitting in county jail for three days and stuff like that.
	24 hours lockdown.
	What is stuff like that?
	Stuff like going to jail, getting arrested.
	That's a video they made for the song.
	It takes a long time to get going.
	They're on some random island.
	No, dude, when you're an island boy, what it means is you're from the Caribbean.
	It doesn't mean you literally live on a tiny island off the coast of Tampa.
	Or maybe they are an island, comma, boy.
	What?
	I'm from the islands.
	Oh, where?
	Like Trinidad and Tobago?
	No, no, no.
	Some random little piece of dirt that's near my dad's house in Tampa.
	Near the Keys.
	This is worse than idiocracy.
	In idiocracy, they have normal hair and no facial tattoos.
	I wish that guy, the black guy on the phone, was just scrolling through Instagram.
	And they're like, yo, you got it?
	And he's like, got what?
	I was looking at Teletubbies.
	Go to the song.
	I gotta say, they did stick pretty true to the original.
	Puerto Ricans.
	Oh, see, that's the first time I've known their ethnicity.
	Or is that Cuba?
	Yeah, I thought they were Cuban.
	Doesn't that sound blown out?
	Yeah.
	This is the second time I've heard that.
	Is that a thing the kids do now?
	There are remixes that are like bass boosted and they're meant to sound like blown up.
	But I don't think so.
	I've heard the real version of the song.
	Cause I've played it on my computer and it was all blown out like that.
	Anyway.
	No, this is the... No, this is not blown out.
	Did these fucking idiots... They blew out their own... Yo, turn it up.
	It's not loud enough.
	And they blew it out for the fucking... For the fucking... They blew out the recording in the studio.
	Yeah, I want, like, when the club, like, loud.
	I like it when, like, the speaker breaks.
	Like distortion.
	Distortin'.
	Here's another dummy.
	In Springfield, Colorado, this guy.
	He gets pulled over for speeding.
	And he switches places with... Scooby-Doo.
	A driver who was pulled over for speeding tried to switch places with his dog to avoid arrest, police in Colorado said.
	An officer watched him maneuvering inside the car before he got out on the passenger side on Saturday night.
	And his dog was sitting in the fuckin' driver's seat.
	You let that guy go, and you're like, we're gonna get you a taxi, dude.
	That's funny.
	I got some good news and some bad news.
	You're off the hook, but your dog is going to jail.
	He should have played along like that and been like, wow.
	I can't believe this is working.
	I can't believe it worked.
	What's your dog's name, sir?
	Eddie.
	Eddie, can you breathe into this?
	That would be funny.
	Here's a slightly more serious story.
	Remember this nurse who was crying about her bike?
	And again, we are a very pro-Karen company here at Censored.TV.
	And the Karens are almost always right.
	Even Amy Cooper in Central Park, she was right.
	He was threatening her dog.
	But America has a black failure, white guilt problem.
	And they see videos of blacks behaving badly and it drives them nuts.
	They hate the truth of it.
	They hate that black crime is a major problem in this country.
	No, it's just crime.
	It's just poor people doing crimes.
	Well, there's a disproportionate number of African-American people of color in the crime world.
	Yeah, that's because cops are racist.
	Yeah, I don't think that's the case.
	We saw a cop last night who would rather jump on a moving car than accidentally shoot a black person or shoot a black person who deserved it.
	So the interesting thing about this story, this is 1-5 now, is the enthusiasm That everyone had when this woman was caught being a Karen.
	There was one news source that compared her to the woman who got Emmett Till lynched.
	And for the record, that story isn't how it sounds.
	AIU did a great job on the side of explaining that it was five people, two black guys, three white guys.
	He did sexually assault her.
	And the movie is lying to you.
	All of these innocent cherub little wonderful creatures like Mike Brown are not who they're cracked up to be.
	They compared her to that woman saying that she's gonna get a guy lynched.
	I think she called the cops.
	A fundraiser has raised $950.
	They completely destroyed this woman.
	They doxed her location, her home.
	Her and her husband had to leave.
	She's six months pregnant.
	She's working at a hospital.
	And we now realize, we now learn that it was her bike.
	So the takeaway from this, as far as I'm concerned, is this bizarre, burning desire we have to attack Karens and use them as proof that America's racist and everything bad you see about blacks is our fault.
	Specifically, white women's fault.
	White women are the new shit pile in American culture.
	Go down.
	That's the picture they use on their GoFundMe.
	There's the evidence.
	You see the bike number.
	You see the literal receipt.
	And in the video you see that same bike number.
	And they're really cruel to her.
	See if the video is there.
	Help!
	Help me!
	Please help me!
	It's not your bike!
	Please help me!
	It's not your bike!
	It's not your bike!
	Please help me!
	Help!
	So, either these guys are retarded and they don't realize that they got the wrong bike, which I doubt, or they, oh she got fired by the way, or they know that this is the perception in America and they can play the victim and they will win.
	And she knows she's being recorded, so she's probably at least subliminally aware that her life's about to be flushed down the toilet.
	She's a white supremacist.
	Of course.
	Gives the basis to suspect her of being a white supremacist.
	He always says that.
	Suspected white supremacist.
	He's great.
	He's one of the things I miss the most about being off Twitter.
	He's Camacho.
	He's President Camacho.
	You're not crying, you're not crying.
	I got you on video.
	Wait, you pulled it out?
	Hey, hey, hey, hey.
	Anyway, she's totally innocent.
	But what is this burning desire?
	Like, we had that kid.
	There was a kid, a little black kid, who went into someone's house, tried to abduct their toddler.
	The grandfather caught him and chased him out with a knife.
	They said, you want to press charges?
	He said, no.
	Why?
	You don't want to be mean?
	Then later on, that same kid Went into someone else's house, grabbed a two-year-old, and stabbed him to death.
	And they just decided that he's too nuts to stay in trial, so he's going to a mental hospital.
	Now, going into someone's house, stealing their child, then killing him.
	Twice.
	Once, it was white guilt that made him not press charges.
	That is the most unimaginable horror you can fit into your head.
	And it got a little bit of local news.
	It was kind of a thing.
	No outrage.
	This woman, is allegedly taking a bike that's not hers.
	They turn that into, she called the cops, cops are racist, cops shoot black people for no reason, so she almost got them killed, lynched, right?
	That's really what I take away from this, is this burning desire to catch white people behaving badly.
	And it's other whites, by the way, that are doxing her and doing all that shit.
	It's a strange white phenomenon.
	They just want you to be evil so badly.
	The demand for racism in this country does not meet the supply.
	And the demand is like... It's like, release the Kraken every time we think we may have a morsel of bad behavior.
	Did you find that guy I was talking about?
	He's not in the notes.
	Do you know who I mean?
	It happened, the update with him just going to a mental hospital was February of this year, but the actual abductions, plural, was a couple years ago.
	Young kid, they have him on ca- Dude, it's so fucking horrific.
	They have him on camera going into the kid's room and taking him out of the crib.
	Oh my god, there's like a lot of two-year-olds being killed.
	But I'll still find the one abducted and stabbed.
	Yeah, allegedly stabbed, they say.
	Anyway, while you look at that, I'll jump to my other spot.
	Oh no, no, I need you for this one too, Ryan.
	You got the guy?
	Come on, get the guy.
	You're running out of time.
	If I find it on my computer fast, there's gonna be hell to pay.
	Two-year-olds...
	Oh my god.
	Watch this, folks.
	Getting the computer, opening it up.
	Okay, going over to Brave.
	Open the file.
	Child abducted.
	Not mentally, not fit for trial.
	Okay.
	First link.
	Kidnapping suspect, not competent to stand trial.
	How long did that take me?
	They just say kidnapping.
	And a showborn woman accused of attempt.
	Oh, no, that's a showborn woman.
	Okay.
	You're off the hook so far.
	There's a lot of these and Lori Vallow, Catherine Hoggle, manic, Oh, sleeping Dallas boy.
	Brown.
	Oh, I hate when local papers make you have to subscribe.
	I'm not subscribing to Dallas morning news, dude.
	So now I'm going to add Dallas.
	That's how you do it.
	You start building a case.
	Cash Gurnon.
	Cash Gurnon, yep, that's it.
	The man accused of kidnapping a young boy from his bed and murdering him may be deemed incompetent to stand trial.
	I've been looking at his face.
	I found it.
	That's the guy I'm talking about.
	So, not too much outrage on that.
	No one doxing, no one... Like, he didn't have to move.
	He didn't have to... He wasn't fired.
	He's not even going to jail.
	Yet some woman objects to being mobbed by teenagers who are stealing the bike and her life is over.
	I stand with Karen's.
	Karen's rock.
	Maybe that'll be our shirt.
	Karen's rock.
	There's a GoFundMe for this piece of shit.
	There's a what?
	If there's a Go... I'm gonna look up the...
	Oh yeah, didn't he have a party when he came back from jail for the first time?
	I think he had a party at GoFundMe.
	They tried to say he was falsely accused or something.
	Anyway, I'm getting sick and this show is getting depressing, so let's change the subject.
	Ching Chong, if you want to chime in.
	Today's episode of Get Up My Lawn is also proudly sponsored by Johnny Apple CBD.
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	Okay.
	Uh, I got a lot of January 6th stuff.
	And, uh, some stuff that looks real bad for Enrique Tarrio.
	Like evidence that he knew he was being arrested.
	They told him all about it.
	Ah, that makes you look pretty fetty, buddy!
	But I got to get to this green screen, so maybe we'll do that afterwards.
	I also want to talk about, this actually fits with Idiocracy.
	This is Michael Rapoport, who for the millionth time is not a New Yorker.
	He moved from here to LA at the age of 18.
	He's fucking 60 or something now.
	So your days your stop it with the fake accent your accent is a normal LA accent with your stupid Yankees hat and your black mannerisms because you have a black wife so that lets you be black you sound like a moron and He's so beastie boys, isn't he?
	Yo, what the fuck?
	Yo, I'm a tough guy.
	Because people in LA, when you have a New York accent, they assume that you're a murderer who's connected with the mob.
	Some people laugh and go, no, I just grew up in Queens.
	But some people get into it, and like, yeah, look, I know some guys.
	You can make a few problems go away, if you know what I mean.
	Yeah, I eat at Rao's.
	And Michael is one of those guys who got drunk with the attention, and now he's in character his entire life.
	This is going to take a lot of pausing.
	I would say that I have Trump derangement syndrome, but I personally think if you support a guy who says he's like his war heroes Not to be captured.
	Stop.
	So Trump did say that about McCain.
	There is a lot of evidence that McCain's POW shit was completely made up.
	I've heard from reliable sources that he wasn't even in a bamboo cage.
	He was actually in a hotel room.
	He's a rich kid who was incredibly well connected from birth.
	So what Trump usually does is he gets some amazing heavy shit intel and then without saying it's true he just implies that something's up and he looks like he's an asshole and then later it comes out oh shit he was right.
	Like Obama.
	I don't think Obama was born in America and I think Trump knows that and that's why he ended the whole debate by saying I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars for his birth certificate.
	Next.
	Support a guy who mocks disabled.
	Stop.
	Why is the camera on your ear?
	Idiocracy.
	We're just listening to his weird rash and his fucking ear.
	He never mocked the handicapped.
	There was a dude who was attacking him and Trump put him in his place and Trump did that thing where you go, oh, like say I'm arguing with you and I go, yeah, how come they were never there in the first place?
	How did, how come Tario knew he was getting arrested?
	And then the guy goes, and then you go, You're mocking the person who can't think of anything to say.
	I mean, there's an air of retard in there, but it's really like you're confused.
	It means the other person doesn't know what to do.
	Now, coincidentally, the guy he was talking about, he's done that a million times, but coincidentally, one of the times, the guy was a gimp.
	Trump didn't know that.
	If you look at the guy's author photo, it starts here, not here.
	So he coincidentally was going uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh about a guy who happened to be handicapped.
	And frankly, Trump was right again.
	Really.
	Okay, next.
	It pays hush money.
	If you support everyone's...
	It pays hush money.
	Everyone pays hush money.
	At least he doesn't have them killed like Hillary did.
	That's just a rumor by the way.
	I actually personally believe that he fucked Stormy Daniels.
	And I believe that he paid her like 50 grand to fuck off.
	I don't care.
	And this is an entire industry in Hollywood.
	I wouldn't be surprised if Rappaport had to pay someone to not say that they gave him a handjob.
	So that's an irrelevant detail.
	The amount of, I talked to lawyers, I did a big article about it with Dove Charney and Seagal being charged with fake sexual harassment things.
	And I was talking to lawyers down there and they go, dude, it's a daily basis.
	They just go, it's 40 grand to go away, fine.
	It's just like, it's the cost of being famous in LA.
	But some people, Jimmy Kimmel I think, Steven Seagal, Dove Charney, they all said no.
	I'm not paying.
	I'm done with this.
	You're lying.
	And that's the only way to stop this, is to stand up.
	Anyway, keep going.
	Stop.
	He incites riots.
	This is a very mainstream opinion, by the way, that he said, come and protest peacefully, he added.
	It's going to be wild.
	Saying it's going to be wild is telling people to smash the windows and break down the doors of the Capitol.
	You know what, Mike?
	That's Trump derangement syndrome.
	If you see that tweet as inciting a riot, you have TDS.
	Bad.
	So it's ironic that he's listing all the reasons why he has Trump derangement syndrome in what he thinks is a great rebuke of the phenomenon of Trump derangement syndrome.
	God, I hope I use the word rebuke right.
	That suggests you put bleach in your skin to help you with the COVID-19 pandemic.
	Never happened.
	And it's support a guy who grabs him by the pussy.
	After all that, you have trumped Randy.
	We're not talking about the grab by the pussy ever again.
	We've explained that nine million times, a dumb joke you say to ease the tension amongst a new friend before you shoot something.
	And they do, when you are rich and powerful, they do let you grab them by the pussy.
	And the bleach thing, He was talking about ethereal concepts and how he wishes there could be a way to do this.
	He's talking to doctors about all the different ideas they have for fighting this.
	You honestly believe the President told the American public to fill a syringe with bleach and inject it into your skin?
	Do you genuinely believe that?
	Do you genuinely believe that the President said, go up to any chick you want and just honk her fucking twat?
	Like, I don't even believe that they believe what they say they believe.
	Alright, I'm getting sick of this backdrop, so let's get to this Idiocracy Monolith.
	20 ways that idiocracy came true, 'cause that's a good segue to it.
	20 ways idiocracy came true.
	Now, this is kind of hack.
	It's done a few times, but I'm doing it my way.
	Playing Louie Louie as an encore is hack, but I liked when Black Flag did it.
	Number one, oh wait, before we even get started, the story behind Idiocracy is amazing.
	Mike Judge just constantly gets abused by 20th Century Fox.
	They hated office space.
	They put no money into it.
	They said it's gonna flop.
	It exploded, because it's awesome.
	One executive at Fox said, no one wants to see your boring movie about mundane people and their mediocre jobs.
	Wrong.
	We identify with that.
	Those are our lives you're showing.
	And then Idiocracy, they didn't even make a trailer for it.
	When you would go to like Fandango, it would say, Untitled Mike Judge Comedy.
	They totally shat all over it.
	Luckily, he didn't take all that seriously.
	What was his name?
	Doug Kenny, the guy who wrote Caddyshack.
	Caddyshack came out with Little Fanfare and he did Animal House first.
	So he got so upset he killed himself.
	Mike Judge knew this was gold though.
	And he was right.
	In a way, Idiocracy was sort of prophetic because he knew it would be a good movie and then it later became known as one of the greatest movies ever.
	But yeah, he took a lot of abuse for this.
	I think they've released it in so few theaters, like half a dozen or maybe a dozen, it grossed $500,000.
	Since then though, we quote it every day.
	Alright, number one!
	The thing in idiocracy that is true now, and it's my favorite one.
	Usually you start with these lists and they get better and better.
	I'm spilling all my jizz on the first one.
	Crocs.
	We're in the South Bronx here.
	I think we're floating around 100% Crocs.
	Everyone wears Crocs.
	They wear these, they have these cumbrellas eyelashes that are three feet long.
	They wear a shower cap that's big enough to fit a small dog.
	They have some dumb t-shirt on.
	Leggings, no matter how terrible their ass is, they're showing it off.
	You can see the cellulite sometimes.
	And then Crocs.
	Like they look like they're under house arrest.
	And it's everywhere.
	Students going to school, moms, tough guys, wimps.
	Everyone is wearing Crocs in New York.
	Ryan wears Crocs.
	My son, I found Crocs in his house.
	My brother-in-law is wearing them right now.
	They are fucking everywhere and it drives me insane.
	It rains on them, you get little wet parts of your socks.
	Ugh!
	I bet they're slimy, too.
	This is Mike Judge talking about it, how he can't believe how popular they are.
	Yeah, I was just thinking that, so there was the wardrobe... Stylist.
	...woman, whatever, I don't know, what are you, costume designers, the official title.
	She You know, she had a limited budget also, and for the shoes, so we shot it in 2004.
	The studio was so unenthusiastic about this movie, he had to call in buddies to do all those special effects, and they're so over-the-top CGI, it actually makes for a cool aesthetic.
	It's obviously photoshopped or CGI'd, whatever, and that actually ends up being kind of cool.
	Okay, there's a startup, and it was Crocs, but they weren't out in the world yet.
	But it was a small company, and she goes, look at these.
	This was shot in 2004, I think he says.
	Sorry.
	Plastic shoes.
	She said, we could really save a lot of money, just put everyone in these things.
	And then I said, well, what if, but what if?
	By the time the movie comes out, what if everyone's, what if these become popular and people are wearing them?
	She said, oh, these are never going to become popular.
	No one would ever wear these things.
	They're horrible.
	And then, but then it took two years for the movie to come out.
	Then everyone's, but then people are like, oh, that's pretty funny that you put everyone in Crocs.
	Amazing.
	Really amazing.
	And crocs are a sign of the overall degradation of society.
	So he predicted that and he was right.
	Number two, this is a biggie.
	Everyone is retarded.
	Everyone.
	When I turn on the TV, I see our politicians.
	I see what they're discussing.
	I just go, am I the smartest man in the world?
	What planet am I living on?
	Clown world!
	Like, look at this politician.
	This is one of our politicians just talking about how banks are too powerful.
	Is it a staggering responsibility that the head of a bank could literally crash our economy?
	Gotcha.
	That sort of makes sense.
	That's like if you have, I mean like, and they also realize is that now they have, it's a guaranteed way to be saved by no matter how.
	I'll give you an example.
	The Republicans want to give a work requirement for SNAP.
	A hungry family has to have these kind of penalties.
	Are these some kind of working requirements?
	Shouldn't you have a working requirement?
	You have to resale your bank with billions of your bank.
	I understand that.
	I am a genius.
	Tax papers.
	Protecting the tax papers.
	and requirements for works for people. - I understand that.
	I am a genius.
	- Protecting the tax papers, you know, that will bail no matter whatever. - Protecting the tax papers.
	Hey, I'm a tax paper.
	That's enough.
	He's saying Republicans want some sort of basic volunteer work for everyone who gets welfare.
	You have to go pick up garbage for like an hour a week and the bank should have to do that because they're getting welfare too.
	I speak Fetterman.
	I should be standing next to him.
	The sign language person and then I'm on the other side going, this is what this absolute brain-dead piece of shit is trying to say.
	But even talking about reparations is a sign that we've lost it as a nation.
	And the only thing stupider than reparations, the concept, is the numbers that are floating around.
	$14 trillion divided by $330 million, once you factor in the fact that blacks probably won't have to pay into it, but it's like $50,000 for every baby, old lady, like everyone has to pay that.
	Remember we were talking the other day about it and the people in California were like, one million each?
	Fuck you!
	More like 200 million.
	40 acres and a mule would be worth 200 million right now.
	Where?
	In Beverly Hills?
	So, that's what we all want.
	All black people get 200 million dollars in California.
	That's not possible.
	So, talking about it is retarded.
	Go down.
	There they are.
	Oh, that's the president almost falling.
	That's different.
	Just let's talk about reparations.
	Everyone getting... I want to spend 14 trillion.
	Go to the video.
	That's Jamal Bowman.
	You know who voted for him?
	Rich liberal housewives in Westchester.
	And he's a very radical left-wing, like, communist lunatic.
	And the masochistic liberal white woman, I don't want to use the word Karen because that's our team now, elected him.
	Wait, why is there a video below it?
	Bullshit.
	Just made up crap.
	...representatives to ever serve in an institution where over 1,700 members of Congress who enslaved black people have held office in front of a building built by our ancestors who were enslaved...
	Bullshit.
	...to offer the reparations now resolution.
	This isn't a theory, by the way.
	IQ scores have been plummeting.
	Look at this rapper someone put up.
	Not the kind who does violent poetry over beats, but the kind you put in a sandwich.
	Do not eat this rapper.
	2023.
	The Pentagon says, sorry, IQ scores have been plummeting for decades if you go to 1.4.
	Wait, that's the wrong backdrop, dude.
	No, no, is that 1.4?
	You're retarded.
	IQ scores are falling and have been falling for decades.
	New study finds.
	And then if you go to the next one, the Pentagon has done these studies and they realized that if your IQ is like below 80, 85, I think even higher than that, maybe it's like more like 90, then there's not really any jobs for you here.
	You need to be able to like understand how to work a gun and do hard stuff, strategy type stuff.
	And they allege, the Pentagon alleges, 70% of the country is too stupid to enlist in the military.
	Staggering 71% of young Americans are ineligible to join the Armed Forces when you subtract out the too dumb, the too fat, and the too criminal.
	Oh, that's why, yeah, because I was thinking you can't have 70% of the population isn't an ADIQ, but yeah, when you factor in too criminal, too fat, you get up to 70%.
	In practical terms, that means that 24 million of the 34 million Americans in the 17 to 24 year old cohort, the Pentagon's main recruiting demographic, cannot enlist.
	At present, there are grave doubts whether the U.S. military can get enough even marginally qualified recruits to maintain current force levels, despite lucrative incentives for recruits on the right side of the notorious IQ bell curve.
	Here's another random example, like the wrapper that you're not supposed to eat.
	Many people, there's one I didn't include in here.
	Have you seen the one where it's like Bill Gates has $65 billion.
	There's 7 billion people in the world.
	Can't he give everyone in the world a billion dollars?
	You're trillions off with your calculation.
	Remember they said it on the news and then they brought it up on the news.
	Remember that?
	Yes.
	They go Elon Musk spent a hundred million dollars on his campaign or something.
	He could have given every American a million dollars and had plenty of money left over.
	Wow.
	And it wasn't just that one black woman who blurted out the tweet.
	The white news guy was like, when I read that tweet, I thought, that's amazing.
	He should have given every American a million dollars.
	Which is also on this list, by the way.
	Is that Brian Williams?
	I don't think so.
	Maybe.
	But look at this.
	People don't understand how a mirror knows what's not in front of it.
	They don't know the difference.
	Wait, how is that still up?
	Shit!
	Oh, it's not still up.
	It's debunked.
	But look at 1.7.
	People don't understand the difference between angle of incidence, angle of refraction, and a camera.
	This camera that's filming me right now has no clue what's to the right and the left of it.
	It's a camera.
	A mirror is different.
	A mirror reflects things, like light.
	And when you look at it at an angle, you can see what's over there.
	It doesn't know this.
	I've seen tons of people on Twitter testing this and are completely confused.
	Because it's voodoo!
	How does the mirror know that you are gay?
	This is voodoo!
	We need to smash all the mirrors!
	They know too much!
	They can read your mind!
	And then just the general discourse in society.
	Oh wait, jump down to 2-0, Ryan.
	I have a collection on my phone, I've already covered this on another episode, of how many people are unaware that the dollar sign goes in front of the number.
	Dude, I've had arguments with people online where they go, no dummy, it's $20, so the dollars goes on the other side.
	Gonna have to log in and show your password, I bet.
	So that's going to be, that's very retarded of you.
	This, the clip that I have lined up here, is a Canadian politician writing about it.
	Now, I've heard French people say, well, in France, the euro goes on the other side, so I can be forgiven.
	No.
	No.
	You live in Canada.
	Is it not time-coded?
	Oh, it doesn't automatically go there.
	It's 31 something?
	What is it again?
	- Is it not time coded? - Do you mean-- - Oh, it doesn't automatically go there.
	3010?
	It's 31 something, what is it again? - 3010, it's in the notes.
	Don't be retarded on a show where we're talking about retards.
	Anyway, I think it fits the... Politician.
	Blue check.
	Politician.
	And that doesn't look weird to her.
	So she doesn't read books.
	Next.
	All right.
	And then I just want to get into the general discourse.
	Boy, this is going to be long.
	We're only at two.
	We're a tenth of the way.
	See?
	Math.
	Uh, look at this Tranny18.
	Like, you just, this is our world.
	2023, you sit down in a chair, you turn on your TV, and this person is talking to you.
	What happened at the steps of Parliament with Posie Parker, hi girl if you're watching, was like something out of The Handmaid's Tale.
	And trans people aged 14 to 25 are 15 times more likely to take their lives.
	So why are we encouraging kids to be trans if it's got those kind of demographics?
	Hey kid, try out trans.
	It's got a really high suicide rate.
	You'll love it.
	Whether you knew the neo-Nazis were going to be there or not, you shouldn't be there.
	The whole white supremacy talk, neo-nazi shit in this country is another whole perfect example of how we've lost our minds and we're all stupid.
	Or this guy, Alok.
	Like, okay, I don't want to watch that anymore.
	I'm going to change the channel.
	And you go over and this guy is telling you what life is like and how to... This guy, are you ready for this?
	Alok just got a professorship.
	He's a professor at a university.
	No qualifications whatsoever.
	He teaches queer theory.
	I got a theory?
	You're nuts.
	And so then I began to ask myself, if my friends love me, then maybe there's something worth loving in me.
	And then I made the audacious decision.
	He has a PhD in me.
	To believe them and to say, maybe I am beautiful.
	What would it look like if I woke up today and I said, maybe I am beautiful.
	It wasn't, I am beautiful.
	It's maybe I am.
	It was an experimental practice.
	So I wore a dress outside.
	I was like, maybe I'm someone.
	It's stupider than idiocracy!
	Alright, number three.
	- Stupider than Idiocracy.
	- And I played pretend, and that's how we would.
	- All right, number three, Rayon shirts.
	You know what, Ryan?
	I'm sick of the freeloaders.
	Cut the episode here as far as the free stuff.
	We've got some great Jan 6 secrets.
	We've got some My Pet Biden.
	We've got some hot chicks, naked ladies.
	We have free candy.
	We have a million dollars for everyone who subscribes that we're going to be giving away at the end of the episode.
	But I'm sick of you freeloaders.
	It's $10 a month.
	Unlimited content more content than you could possibly shake a stick at I do a show every day seven days a week You get at least an hour and a half of gav sometimes four We never take a day off if it's gonna be moment if it's Memorial Day we pre-recorded a sit-down with a Vietnam vet with all kinds of cool footage and Christmas Day.
	There's something to watch every single day.
	We did a marathon that was, well, allegedly five days.
	It was more like 16 hours.
	Some trickery there.
	It's a very good investment and it's the only time you'll feel sane.
	Like you turn on the TV and you see those trannies and you go, what planet am I living on?
	You turn on our show and you go, oh my God.
	It's almost like some dystopian horror movie where you're like, you've got the CB radio and you hear, Is anyone there?
	Is anyone there?
	Someone else is alive!
	I heard someone talking!
	Where are you?
	A wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
	So, goodbye freeloaders.
	Bye everybody.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Isn't he adorable?
	You look kind of like my gym owner.
	Looks like Rittenhouse.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I couldn't see you in the old chair because you were behind the camera.
	So this is the first time I'm seeing you.
	I can't see you.
	You look like a dog.
	My eyes are so small.
	Would I look Asian if I had that face?
	I don't know.
	We could try.
	Let me see.
	Actually, I think I might be able to... Maybe you can cast it on me now.
	I can.
	- You can or? - That's awesome.
	I don't look Asian though.
	No, you look like a little pudgy boy.
	I look like a little doggy.
	It's morphing.
	Oh, that's a trip.
	Kind of hypnotizing.
	Yeah, we don't wear cotton anymore.
	All my kids' uniforms are rayon, because I guess it takes prints better?
	This is one of the more interesting predictions that Mike did.
	He saw that we want to get more advertising.
	We're going to be more about prints.
	You're going to have Gatorade and Starbucks and Brawny and all that shit all over you.
	Just like bicyclists, where they have all their sponsors on their shirts.
	So if there's advertising everywhere, we're going to need things that take prints well.
	And polyester takes prints well.
	Rayon, whatever you want to call it.
	And everywhere I look Under Armour people it's kind of hard to find cotton shirts these days.
	It's I think it's been replaced Yeah, and those print all over shirts are huge like these things and that that ain't cotton my friends No, you want a retarded looking hate like this and the suburbs and oh, there we go.
	Oh my god is Holy crap, that is idiocracy This is the sequel.
	It looks like clips from the sequel.
	I hate seeing these suburbanites up where I live on Saturdays.
	They all get together.
	Why are you getting together to ride a bicycle?
	Just ride your bike by yourself.
	You can't talk to the guy.
	So you're just staring at his ass as he goes in front of you.
	And they cover their shirts with fake sponsors.
	Dude, we should do a crayon shirt with like a joker face, some drop images, like do an all over print.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	Crayon shirt.
	It's your idiocracy shirt.
	And we'll call it that, the Idiocracy Shirt.
	Okay, number four.
	We've covered this to death, but Incompetent Planes.
	If you go to 2-2, and this is what I meant earlier when I said the bad CGI has its own kind of cool aesthetic.
	Like, look, look at that.
	Stop.
	That doesn't look like a plane is there.
	You know, it's clearly a painting, but it looks neat.
	I like it.
	But that's common throughout the thing, is a plane crash.
	I don't think they'd even get planes up in this world.
	But we have a thousand examples.
	Look, and it starts because of virtue signaling.
	But look at, this is, so we need more female pilots, right?
	Let's get a female pilot.
	Let's see how female pilots are doing.
	Go to two, three.
	Finally, more woman in the air.
	Excuse me.
	But never like this.
	I'll stop and I will fly the airplane.
	Don't worry, I'm going to let my co-pilot fly it.
	He's a man.
	Okay?
	It's a total meltdown.
	The pilot boarded in her street clothes and addressed the passengers over the intercom.
	Passenger Pam O'Neill couldn't believe what was happening.
	She said, let's take a vote.
	How many of you would like to take off now with me dressed as I am?
	Or would you prefer that I take 10 minutes to get changed into my I prefer you take 10 minutes so I have time to get off.
	What started all this?
	and political candidates.
	And the minute she mentioned that, a gentleman stood up and just yelled, "Whoa, enough, you're scaring me." - Okay, what started all this?
	Is it the IQ drop?
	Well, sort of.
	I think the IQ drop is what's allowed woke politics to flourish, like that Alok dude we just had to tolerate, who's now a professor.
	But go to 2-4.
	This is really the moment, Biden, because when you're against affirmative action airlines, people think you're racist and you don't think black people are smart enough to fly a plane.
	No, it's not just black people.
	Trannies, females, they're crowbarring people who aren't necessarily deserving of the job.
	Yeah, I'm gay.
	I'm a dude.
	Is that a woman?
	Oh, Harry Potter can fly.
	- ...in this campaign to affect change in this world.
	I have a trans non-binary child, so for me, changing the world is my job as a mom and as a friend and an ally.
	I feel fabulous, fierce, and ferocious.
	And I am ready to take-- - Is that a woman?
	- Be yourself campaign means absolutely everything to me.
	- Oh, Harry Potter can fly.
	- I get to be myself, a non-binary person.
	I have the choice-- - So we've already gone through all these, right?
	Passenger bus collides with an airplane.
	FedEx and Southwest almost hit each other.
	We showed you the CGI breakdown of this.
	It's a whole segment we did.
	Mesa Airlines had to abandon the flight.
	They crashed into a bridge.
	They killed people in Austin twice.
	And we're seeing this in infrastructure too.
	This is a really important article.
	I read I've sent this to nine billion people Which and they've each given me a dollar so now I have enough money to give everyone else in the world a trillion dollars Go to three zero jump ahead.
	We don't need to show all the plain shit again You can go back to the episode This is a really good... Die!
	This is what inspired the shirt we're working on.
	Diversity, Inclusion, Equity.
	And this guy just talks about all the incredible problems.
	He comes from Venezuela and he saw woke bullshit socialist garbage destroy his infrastructure.
	That unnecessary... Oh wait.
	Yeah.
	He talks about this...
	It always starts with a diversity initiative and then ends with a crash.
	And he talks about this collapse of a pedestrian bridge close to Florida, International University of Miami, that killed six people.
	This is 3-1.
	And this was a, they were really proud of themselves because it was an all Hispanic company.
	A Cuban company that only hires Hispanics, and they built that bridge.
	And guess what?
	It sucks.
	Because Cubans are dumb?
	Well, the island boys are pretty dumb, but no.
	Because you didn't put meritocracy first.
	God hates that, and he punishes you with death when you do it.
	As VDA's James Kirkpatrick reported at the time, citing real estate news outlet The Real Deal, a man had sued the company because one of its bridges collapsed under him at Fort Lauderdale.
	MCM was previously bragging about doing construction work at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, noting that it is a certified minority-owned firm with the Southern Florida Minority Supplier Development Council.
	They won a $66 million contract to build a school at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base.
	And they won a diversity award for that.
	Yeah, that's what diversity means.
	That's what forcing someone to do a job means.
	Death.
	So that is your reward, in a sense.
	Number five.
	The president offering everyone a million dollars.
	You see, notice my text goes off the edge of the screen like an idiot.
	These go to 11.
	Go to 3-2.
	People need money!
	Lots and lots of money!
	That's why the only jobs I'm going to create are going to be down at the Mint!
	That's right!
	We're going to print so much damn money, I'm going to give every single American one million dollars!
	Check it out.
	Ain't going to be no more 1%.
	We got that.
	During COVID, President Biden gave everyone $3,000, if you recall.
	We got that.
	During COVID, President Biden gave everyone $3,000, if you recall.
	I remember I was going to a mall, what's it called?
	That weird Muslim sounding Sultan name, the King of Sultan Mall.
	King of Prussia Mall.
	King of Prussia Mall.
	And there was lineups, two-hour lineups.
	This was maybe like a week after Biden gave everyone a check.
	There was two-hour lineups outside of Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent.
	People just standing there, waiting to go in and blow their $3,000 on a $3,000 purse.
	Nice long-term planning there.
	And again, the reparations, the fact that we're discussing reparations, I'm sort of repeating myself here, is embarrassing.
	Okay, number six.
	Owl my balls.
	Oh, and by the way, to go back to number five, Biden has also printed an unprecedented amount of money.
	So not only is he giving out money and we're discussing every black person getting $250 million, just like that Camacho clip, he is printing our dollar into valuelessness.
	Number six, Ow My Balls.
	This was around, Jackass was around before, uh, uh, Ow My Balls.
	But, uh, it's very popular.
	And we have Wipeout and a whole bunch of other shows like this.
	That kind of is funny.
	Maybe I'm stupid.
	You're going to get hit in a ball.
	Oh, my balls.
	And then 3-5.
	They literally... hit people in the balls and they say, "Ow." Yes!
	I don't know why.
	I've told you this a hundred times, but I've hung out with those dudes.
	We started Vice TV together.
	Sorry, Tim Pool.
	And you're just at a meeting, talking, and you have your hand on your balls.
	Because the second it's not on there, Knoxville's going to whack him.
	I live in constant ball fear.
	Not fun.
	Number seven, Naked News.
	This is exactly as it was portrayed in the film.
	And it was around in, it was around in 2000, but they're wearing the exact same thing.
	It's not around anymore.
	I think it was owned by a Russian company.
	I actually dated one of the girls, Lily Kwan, who was in Naked News.
	She liked it very rough.
	Now everyone, when you look at other people talking about this, they say Fox News, this is Fox News.
	No, it's not.
	It's Naked News.
	It's not an exaggeration.
	Show the link.
	Exact same outfit.
	American Airlines.
	Here's a clip from their in-flight safety video.
	And what they would do is they would start fully clothed and then over the course of the newscast they would slowly take off their clothes.
	So that's kind of a backwards prediction because it was already around.
	It's funny that they're talking about how stupid American Airlines is even back then.
	Number eight.
	This is kind of a no-brainer.
	Ads are everywhere.
	But you really, once you see it, you can't unsee it.
	And in sports, it's just getting ridiculous.
	Every year, they add a new spot.
	It's behind the pitcher.
	It's along the wall.
	It's now LED screens.
	The backdrop at Citi Field for the Mets games is so unbelievably huge now that the batters are getting distracted.
	It's the biggest one I've ever seen in any context anywhere in my life.
	It's bigger than this entire building.
	And, of course, on the uniforms, they've got this dumb patch.
	New York, Presbyterian.
	I don't really understand hospitals advertising.
	Don't you go to the one that does your cancer stuff?
	Do people shop around hospitals?
	I don't know.
	So they had to change the colors on that particular one.
	It's so distracting, too.
	Look, he's already got a Nike swoosh over here.
	And then they decorate them for breast cancer, they make them all wear pink because I think they do it to emasculate them.
	Have you seen the boxing shorts lately?
	Where there's only fans on it and fucking all the other brands, they do that with their shorts.
	Really?
	Yep.
	I haven't noticed that.
	Number nine, swearing in ads.
	In idiocracy they say, if you don't smoke these, fuck you.
	Which is pretty cool.
	We should do that with our censored.tv ads, Ryan.
	Why didn't we think of that?
	I wonder if they'd allow that.
	If you don't subscribe to censored.tv, fuck you.
	I like it.
	And I'll be smoking a cigarette.
	Yeah, let's do that.
	I'm getting a lot of great ideas during this segment.
	But yeah, they do it all the time.
	They come real close.
	Now, that's a motherfucking burger.
	I guess.
	See, the problem with truly swearing in ads is Southerners hate swearing.
	Southern teenagers don't swear.
	So you lose half the country there.
	But then there's 41.
	This one was very popular.
	I thought it was pretty funny actually.
	Ship my pants.
	4-1.
	Ship my pants?
	Right here?
	Ship my pants?
	You're kidding.
	You can ship your pants right here.
	You hear that?
	I can ship my pants for free.
	Wow.
	I just may ship my pants.
	Yeah, ship your pants.
	Billy, you can ship your pants too.
	I can't wait to ship my pants, Dad.
	I just shipped my pants and it's very convenient.
	Very convenient.
	I just shipped my drawers.
	I just shipped my nightie.
	I just shipped my bed.
	If you can't find what you're looking for in store, we'll find it at Kmart.com right now.
	And ship it to you for free.
	Women invented beer.
	And now we put them in commercials where they're wearing bikinis.
	So what we want you to do is rip up all of those... Stop, stop.
	Rip up all those pictures of women in bikinis.
	Send them to us, we will mulch them, make them into compost, and then we will give them to women brewers, which hasn't been a thing for several thousand years.
	And they will take that mulch to make better hops.
	So we are empowering women by mulching sexism.
	If that is the most dumb female thing you've ever heard, then you're right.
	...pay homage to the founding mothers of beer.
	They put us in bikinis.
	Wow.
	Look at this s***.
	Wild!
	It's time beer made it up to women.
	So today, Miller Lite is on a mission to clean up not just their s***... I'm sorry, did I put hot girls in a beer can?
	Miller Lite has been scouring the internet for all this st and buying it back so that he can turn it into good st for women brewers.
	First we turn the bad s**t into compost.
	Then we feed compost to worms.
	Are you catching this?
	They're going on eBay and buying pictures of hot chicks on beer and then turning it into plant food.
	What woman brewers?
	All two of them?
	You see what I'm streaming?
	Is that the dumbest thing that's ever been done in the world?
	- All two of them? - There's definitely more out there in your attic, in the garage, in your parents' basement.
	Send any you got into Miller Lite and they'll turn that into good too.
	So here's two women.
	- You see what I'm screaming?
	- Because without us, there would be no beer.
	- Is that the dumbest thing that's ever been done in the world?
	Look at the, oh, those are great.
	Look at the women's march.
	They misinterpreted a joke about a pussy grab.
	And I think 10,000 or more, maybe tens of thousands of women showed up wearing what they called pussy hats, which were just pink hats that had weird square corners on them.
	And they marched up and down the Capitol saying, you're not going to grab my vagina, including little girls, eight year old girls with signs that said, you're not grabbing my pussy.
	That's embarrassing.
	That is embarrassing.
	Remember the free speech rally that Dr. Shiva had?
	He was mad at me, by the way, for backing out.
	I go, dude, this is turning into bullshit.
	It's a trap.
	It's another J6.
	You should can it.
	He's like, no, we're going to have it.
	10,000 people stormed the streets of Boston saying no hate in Boston because Dr. Shiva wanted to have a free speech talk.
	Not, not, he's brown.
	There was different races there.
	Boston together against hate.
	Like, this stuff isn't just a misunderstanding.
	It's truly, brutally embarrassing.
	Are other countries this dumb?
	Are they laughing at us?
	They should be.
	Cars get turned off.
	In the movie, they are on the loose because his tattoo... Oh, he robbed a hospital, I think is his allegation.
	So that's his lawyer trying to help him escape Dax Shepard.
	And they stop because the authorities turned his car off.
	Why are we slowing down?
	Turned off my battery.
	Turned off my battery?
	Look how ugly that car is.
	Look, how far is it?
	Can we just take a cab or something?
	The studio was really stingy with these effects.
	And then you see a plane comes down.
	Kind of an anti-cop moment.
	Uh, GM is doing this.
	I've heard cops talk about this, actually.
	Where they will have a thing that you can shut down your car.
	That sounds dubious.
	I don't like this kind of stuff.
	I don't like relinquishing control.
	But we hated the CCTV cameras in New York in the late 90s when they first started making them ubiquitous across the city.
	But I gotta admit, it led to a lot of dudes getting caught for punching an 84-year-old woman in the face and taking her purse.
	The loss of privacy was nothing compared to the amount of pieces of shit we caught.
	So maybe this will end up being good.
	I don't know.
	I don't like the concept of some other person being able to stop my car.
	But we've seen a lot of bullshit chases like last night.
	Where the guy had a cop on his roof.
	Did we mention by the way?
	I hope I updated that.
	That guy, yeah we did.
	He's gonna get five years.
	He'll probably get out in three.
	For breaking a cop's back.
	Just part of the job.
	Number 11, also within the car subject, cars are fucking stupid looking now.
	They all look like little kids toys.
	You know how little kid, like one-year-olds, they don't, you can't have sharp edges, they're gonna hurt themselves.
	So everything has this sort of bubbly look.
	And that's all cars.
	A Ford Taurus is a Lexus, is a BMW.
	It's one of my biggest pet peeves.
	I hate the way cars all suck now.
	Nimble, it's quick, it's entertaining to drive.
	Doesn't that look like an idiocracy car?
	The Mini!
	Okay, we have the Countryman, and it's one of those vehicles that kind of gets under your skin, and once you own one... In the movie, cops drive these stupid little toy cars that look like big golf carts.
	There, you see one there, very briefly.
	Cops drive those.
	Go to 4-7.
	If you guys are taking me back to that jail, just go ahead and shoot me, because there's no way that... That's the exact same car we just saw.
	Oh, here's your SUV thing, by the way.
	It is pretty stunning when you get to take a look.
	I couldn't guess which one is which.
	Wow.
	I know my car.
	I could pick my car out, but that's... I blame women for this.
	Someone figured out that women are the ones buying the family car and they go, OK, what can we tell them?
	Tell them something nice.
	OK, I'm going to tell them that my car is good for the environment and it saves the baby koalas because it has no sharp edges.
	So it's more aerodynamic.
	So it uses less gas.
	Okay, let's make them all look like that then.
	Find what women like and then just make them all like that.
	I'm basically driving a Porsche Maserati.
	Yeah.
	It's the same body.
	And it's, men like bold colors.
	They like, you know, an orange Dukes of Hazzard car.
	And women, they just want, what, basically an ovary on wheels.
	Number 12.
	There's a scene in the movie where he goes, this is the Secretary of State, and he goes, I'm the Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
	So Carl's Jr.
	is sponsoring a politician.
	Right?
	I don't know if I have that clip.
	No, I don't.
	But if you go to 4-8, you'll see that the CEO of Carl's Jr.
	was almost the secretary of, what is it?
	Labor Secretary.
	You know what's funny?
	It's even stupid how he's not the Labor Secretary.
	He was a lawyer, CEO of Carl's Jr.
	They said they want to unionize and they want at least a $15 minimum wage, which it is now.
	And he said, that's not going to get you more money.
	We're just going to automate more.
	You're negotiating yourself out of a job.
	And they went, oh, so you like exploiting the poor, huh?
	Well, fuck you.
	So that ruined his reputation because he's anti-poor.
	And, uh, he had to give up on, um, his resume stunk.
	He had to give up on being the Labor Secretary.
	So we almost had a Labor Secretary brought to you by Carl's Jr.
	And, uh, it didn't happen because we're too stupid.
	We're too stupid to have this idiocracy scenario.
	And then guess what happened?
	Carl's Jr.' 's became totally automated.
	This is exactly what he predicted.
	The Secretary of Labor, who we didn't let be the Secretary of Labor, go to 13, is not the Secretary of Labor because he said fast food's gonna be run by robots.
	Well, guess what?
	Fast food is run by robots.
	It happens in the movie, that's the Carl's Jr.
	where you get all your food automated, and now it's happened in real life.
	He was right!
	And remember you, Ryan?
	You remember you, right?
	I remember me.
	You went to McDonald's recently just up the street and they said you went up there and I don't know if it's because they were too stupid to understand your order or if they don't speak English.
	"Neither are great." And they said, they go, "Can you use a machine?" Yes.
	Use a machine.
	So a person sitting behind the register to direct you towards a machine.
	Yeah.
	Thanks for helping out.
	So that's a pretty amazing one.
	That we were too stupid to have this scenario that Idiocracy had.
	And the proof in the pudding is, everything he said happened.
	We did fully automate.
	So those two are inexorably linked.
	Number 14, this one I'm probably going to get mad talking about, but our justice system is toast.
	I incessantly talk about Max and John getting four years for saying yes to a fight with Antifa.
	Antifa refused to press charges.
	You're supposed to be able to face your accuser?
	Nope.
	You're supposed to be judged by a jury of your peers?
	Did you hear that fart?
	No.
	Nope, no jury of their peers.
	If you're MAGA, if you're conservative, if you're me, the idea of me getting a jury in New York City or DC is 0%, completely impossible.
	Joe Biggs and Ethan Nordin, the J6 boys, they knew what their verdict was going to be.
	Secession.
	What was it?
	Seditious conspiracy.
	They knew that was what they're doing now is they're waiting for the actual trial where they don't have a bunch of Antifa jurors.
	They have three judges that are federal judges.
	That's your only hope now because the actual justice system is Zero chance?
	Well, we have a 98% conviction rate with things that go to trial.
	Doesn't that sound unusual to you?
	98%?
	It's really just the judge is punishing you for not taking a plea.
	He's mad that you made him come to work.
	Go to 1-5?
	All this like Nazi stuff.
	John Kinsman, white nationalist.
	He went to jail because he's a Nazi.
	His black children, black wife didn't see him because he's a white supremacist.
	That's our justice system.
	Play that for a bit.
	This doesn't look remotely unusual.
	I'm fixing to commensurate this trial here.
	We gonna see if we can't come up with a verdict up in here.
	Dude, we had this!
	What y'all say?
	You ain't got no money.
	We have proprietarily obtained for you one of them court appointed lawyers.
	So put your hands together and give it up for Rico Pendejo.
	You're my lawyer?
	Says here you robbed a hospital?
	Why'd you do that?
	Dude, we had this.
	Remember the appeal? - You gotta get me on the stand. - We did a whole green screen on the appeal.
	Look at their green screen at this big fancy courtroom.
	It was three black female judges who hated Max and John and assumed they were white supremacists.
	And then this Asian guy, he felt uncomfortable.
	He left.
	He just walked out of the room halfway through this appeal.
	And then these three dumb bitches kept getting Max and John confused.
	Unbelievable.
	And then poor Ron Hart had to sit there and explain that they shouldn't be doing jail because of my hate speech.
	No joke.
	White supremacy clouds almost every trial involving a conservative these days.
	And white supremacy doesn't exist.
	It's not a thing.
	We're dumber than Salem Witch.
	Look, he's gone.
	Bye bye!
	I'm leaving the appeal.
	Just play a second of that just to hear them.
	None of that happened here.
	These individuals, it was a fist on fist. - So did you get that? - The big, when he comes back, there's a gong sound.
	A good piece of evidence that you're not a racist.
	Racists don't hang out with black dudes, and they certainly don't consider them friends.
	Aren't they arguing the intent of him to cause permanent... We're getting too lost in the weeds here.
	So yeah, the justice system is an absolute joke.
	I have no confidence.
	Oh, I spelled justice wrong!
	I hate the justice system!
	Everyone's stupid!
	You don't even understand what justice is!
	That's why there's no juxtics out there.
	Uh, 15.
	This one's kind of cheating.
	I like to have round numbers like 10 or 20.
	So this isn't exactly a trend.
	Although, your honor, I would argue it's not a trend in the movie.
	It only happened once.
	So, uh... Yeah, this is him.
	I like the way the cops talk to him.
	This is to figure out what your aptitude's good at and get you a jail job while you're being a particular individual in jail.
	A particular individual in jail.
	So, we've seen that one, right?
	If you skip ahead, you see he runs out of prison.
	This is the IQ test.
	Hi, excuse me.
	Um, I'm actually supposed to be getting out of prison today, sir.
	Yeah.
	You're in the wrong line, dumbass.
	Over there.
	I'm sorry, I'm in a big dumbass.
	Sorry.
	Hey, let this dumbass through.
	So yeah, it happened.
	Where was it now?
	5-4.
	But what town was that in?
	Tennessee?
	Tennessee.
	So that guy, his cellmate is due to be released.
	He takes the guy's ID, dresses, I guess dresses as him?
	I don't know.
	Grabs his stuff.
	The guy's still asleep.
	He's like, all right, I'm ready to go.
	And they're like, okay, later.
	Free to go!
	Virginia.
	The Shawshank Redemption?
	That'd be funny if it said he was inspired by the film Idiocracy.
	And then the COs go, well sorry, you should have gotten up earlier.
	We need a body.
	And you're gonna have to do his term now.
	I assume he was rounded up.
	Was he?
	We gotta know if he was rounded up.
	I should have looked into that.
	What does it say there?
	I can't read it.
	It's usually around here.
	Hurry up!
	Oh, fuck, you're useless.
	Warrant was issued for his arrest, adding charges of escape, criminal impersonation, forgery, and theft.
	But it does not say that he got caught.
	Huh.
	Well, look up his name.
	Now I gotta know.
	I gotta know.
	16, this one's kind of weird.
	We're getting a little bit desperate here.
	But the Starbucks Giving Handies.
	Now, I lived in Taiwan for a little while, and I would walk into a barbershop and everyone would start acting weird if I sat in one of the chairs.
	This is true of mainland China and Taiwan.
	They started out with their barbershops, they were very competitive, so they would start giving a massage.
	And then they started out saying, okay, a haircut and a handjob in the back room.
	There you go.
	And then guys didn't want, what is he now?
	They're found at IHOP.
	Arlie Nemo and John Garza.
	How did two guys do it?
	I don't know.
	Deputy said anyone through a... Tunneled through a cell wall.
	No, that's a totally different thing.
	Genius.
	This guy didn't tunnel through anything.
	He walked out the front door.
	You only get the finest news here, folks.
	Yeah, so then they stopped doing haircuts.
	When David Cross and I went to do a Vice Travel thing there, we kept going to brothels and having them cut our hair, and they didn't know how to do it.
	They have the scissors and the combs.
	Everything is there.
	The chair is there.
	They're just not qualified.
	They're prostitutes.
	So we would sit in the chair and they would be, because they have to keep that up when the police come by.
	So they're sort of like, like this.
	So that's been around forever.
	And then we have, of course, the hooters of hair in Jersey.
	What are you doing now, Ryan?
	I was looking for, I found the guy, but it looks like they have not caught him yet.
	That doesn't make sense.
	Everything I'm looking at just says he escaped.
	Did you Google his name in quotes and then hit news?
	News.
	Yep.
	All right.
	Well, let's look at this for now.
	Okay, well, let's go back up to 5-5.
	You know what was interesting about this movie, too?
	Mike Judge was really worried about getting sued.
	I guess he couldn't get Gatorade, and that's why they had to call it Brawnade or whatever.
	But Starbucks, that says Starbucks, and the way the lawyers cleared it is they said, just use as many brands as possible, and then Starbucks can't say they were singled out.
	Because now it's a dystopian thing where all the companies suck.
	And they weren't happy about this.
	Some say this is why the movie was so soft launched.
	because 20th Century Fox was getting grief from all these dudes. - That's it, pull some strings.
	- Hey, come on, Joe.
	I already told you, we'd all like a handjob, but we don't have time for it.
	We'd all like a handjob, but we don't have time for it.
	So they do that to all those things.
	But yeah, we've been doing that for a long time now.
	It's hard to sort of say that was a prediction.
	5'6", you've got the hooters of hair.
	5'7", you've got the baristas in lingerie.
	Like, how is this different?
	Go to 5'7".
	How is this different from Starbucks?
	I guess you don't get a handjob is the only difference.
	Seems like a run-of-the-mill stylist job.
	It's a fun job.
	It's unusual, it's interesting, but it's a fun job.
	And it's a job like, you know, everything else.
	Not quite.
	These stylists are wearing lingerie.
	The salon is called a little off the top.
	You get it.
	And there's quite a bit off the bottom, too.
	It doesn't bother me.
	Doesn't bother the haircut clients either.
	So you're going to get a cloner.
	And then there's going to be hand jobs.
	Go to 5-8.
	At least the baristas in lingerie, well that must be hard on your feet wearing high heels all day.
	The baristas in lingerie, they're sort of separated by a box.
	You know, feeling confident and making a lot of money, supporting myself.
	I want a white chocolate with white coffee.
	Ice?
	No hot?
	Is that how you guys want it?
	I want something super sweet and creamy.
	Okay.
	So yeah, we're already there.
	This one's disturbing.
	In 17, the Mark of the Beast, they all have to have a UPC code on their wrist.
	This is in the Bible, folks.
	Don't do it.
	But Americans are doing it, and Europeans, Northern Europeans, are really into it.
	I saw all over Stockholm, Sweden, they really like doing it.
	Scandinavia there, it's big.
	I saw some Asian woman, she uses her chip to buy things, to get on the subway.
	They use it to get inside their building, and they say, no, it'll be fine.
	Ew.
	That guy's got big circles in his skin and his hands.
	There you go.
	Satanic!
	This is satanic.
	Nice scarf, you twat.
	People are doing it voluntarily, too.
	Which I find profoundly disturbing.
	Look at 6-1.
	6-1.
	Oh Lord.
	Some people just look really grossed out.
	I put my hand up and I let them poke at it and they freak out.
	That's worse.
	- I just said it too.
	- You ever heard of a bookmark? - Colin Cravino has a microchip implanted in both of his hands.
	- Some people just look really grossed out.
	I put my hand up and I let 'em poke at it and they freak out.
	- Developed in the 1950s and '60s, RFID chips, short for radio frequency identification, - That's worse, I'd say that's worse than Idiocracy.
	You could cover up your UPC code in Idiocracy.
	You can't cover up a chip.
	We do it on animals.
	To monitor their behavior.
	And here you are doing it to yourself, you fucking freak.
	I would rather die, than get a chip implanted.
	No, let me rephrase that.
	I would fight to the death if the government mandated that we all have to have chips.
	I mean, I guess they did with the vaccine, right?
	That was a form of... They say that the DNA is smart.
	The RNA.
	So that was kind of a form of being forced to put something in your body.
	Okay, speaking of your body, we're coming up to the end here.
	18.
	Everyone's a whore.
	In the movie they use a prostitute Maya Rudolph who gets to practice her black voice and then they get to they get to the Idiocracy Land, which I think is 500 years in the future and Prostitution is totally normal.
	It's everywhere.
	Everyone's fucking like rabbits.
	Everyone's a whore and That's where we're at today, right?
	It's totally mainstream to have an OnlyFans.
	You just showed it.
	You said it was advertised on boxing shorts.
	Girls, comedians, get up on stage.
	They proudly talk about their OnlyFans.
	OnlyFans is a form of prostitution.
	What's this?
	The New York Times?
	Louding it is just a fantastic thing.
	Sex work.
	They call it sex work.
	It's not even stigmatized.
	It's a type of work.
	What type of work do you do?
	Oh, I do sex work.
	No, you're a whore.
	It's bad to be a whore.
	Don't do it.
	Call me old-fashioned.
	All right, this is my favorite one next to Crocs.
	Number 19, the movie Ass.
	I want you to watch this first.
	Watch the movie Ass.
	I have something shocking to tell you.
	So that movie is a movie called Ass, right?
	And it's just a picture of an ass that farts.
	It won the Oscar for Best Film.
	It also won Best Screenplay.
	The extras that they used for that scene, it was shot in Texas.
	It's from a local reform school.
	And they brought everyone in there.
	Mike Judge was like, okay, I'm going to have to tell them to laugh and pretend that they think it's funny.
	He didn't do any directing.
	They were all laughing their heads off at the movie Ass.
	So in a weird way, this is why it's my favorite one, you're seeing the prediction happen live.
	Those people are not acting.
	They're genuinely laughing at the movie Ass.
	They're idiots!
	Show it again.
	Now that we know the truth.
	That's all.
	Dust Bowl had ravaged food supplies, and the number one movie in the country was called Ass.
	And that's all it was for 90 minutes.
	It won eight Oscars that year.
	And Luke Wilson probably isn't even acting in that scene either, because he was there when Mike Judge didn't direct him.
	And it would be weird to be in a room of people laughing their heads off at an ass.
	So I think that's a reality show you just saw, not a movie.
	And it's in a movie.
	Weird.
	And then number 20.
	You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
	We regularly say retarded.
	I think I've said it maybe 600 times this episode.
	We call each other retards.
	We have a show on the network called Full Mental Retard, right?
	Like, that could be a show in idiocracy.
	I did a show, a segment on my old show called Fiction is for Fags.
	Have you got that clip, Ryan?
	I do.
	Where I burned books and told you what not to read and just talked about non-fiction books.
	So, retard, fag, yeah, we talk like that.
	We're stupid.
	If you could pull up The Fictionist for fags, that would be fantastic.
	Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothing, but it says on your chart that you're fucked up.
	You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
	What I do is...
	So we're there.
	That could be censored dot TV right now.
	Where's the clip dude?
	Here's it.
	There's a lot of content here in the CRTV archives that people don't realize.
	But yeah, we're there in idiocracy and I'm just as guilty as you.
	I found him.
	I found that guy.
	Oh, you did?
	I did.
	He got apprehended the day after.
	It's kind of hard.
	I found him.
	I found that guy.
	Oh, you did?
	I did.
	He got apprehended the day after.
	It's kind of hard.
	I mean, being on the run must suck.
	No enforcement was then contacted to hunt down Roman, who remained on the loose for one day until he was taken back into custody on April 18th.
	His transfer back to Colwitz... What, it was Britain?
	It was British?
	No.
	Oh.
	Why are you reading it with a British accent?
	It's more trustable.
	It's from the Daily Mail.
	Okay.
	So they got him a couple days later.
	Oh well.
	They got that nigga!
	Okay, change the backdrop to Proud Boys, or Jan 6, whatever you want.
	There's a couple things I want to mention.
	So, the BBC lady that I spoke to, we've been corresponding, it could be a hit piece, risk assessment.
	You sometimes take risks.
	She's obsessed with Enrique, and she said that he knew he was getting arrested.
	They said, we're going to arrest you when you get here on Jan 4.
	He's like, okay.
	I don't know the whole story.
	Yeah, why go?
	And then she also alleges that he brought those magazines in his bag so it wouldn't just be a slap on the wrist and he'd have to do some time and he could avoid the riot.
	That implies that the Feds knew there was going to be a riot or he knew there was going to be a riot or it was a federal, it was instituted by Feds.
	Like if you go to 1-7, The FBI said we can't give you the 11,000 hours of footage because you'll see too many feds.
	...individuals were inside the Capitol to which the SSA responded back and I was privy to these conversations firsthand.
	Why can't you show us, why can't you just send us, give us access to the 11,000 hours of video that's available?
	Because there may be, may be, That's fishy.
	undercover officers, CHS's confidential human sources on those videos whose identity we need to protect. - So Mr. Allen, you got retaliated against those individuals were- - That's fishy.
	And again, if feds were deeply embedded in that riot, they either knew there was a plan and let it happen, or there was no plan.
	And now there's kind of a third option.
	They made something happen.
	I'm kind of leaning on number three these days.
	I thought this was an interesting take from a lefty.
	I like to see sane lefties.
	They're like birds in the wild.
	I mean, sorry, exotic birds in the wild.
	1-8, I was so disgusted by the Jan 6 riot that I deleted my Twitter account.
	I wrote introspective pieces on wanting to be part of the solution and I never liked Trump and I thought Biden beat him.
	Then he goes, the Durham report, this is that we knew that Russia was not colluding with Donald Trump but we lied and pursued that matter anyway, tortured him, threw people in jail, bugged, illegally wiretapped people, way worse than Watergate.
	The Durham report is 100 times worse than Jan Senk's.
	It didn't reveal a handful of nuts getting out of hand and stealing election.
	It revealed our highest law enforcement agency trying to undo an election on zero evidence.
	It didn't disrupt a formal nomination proceeding for three hours.
	It disrupted a presidency for three years.
	And then lastly, on the subject of Jan 6 Proud Boys stuff, so it's come out, 1-9, that a cop tried to help out Tarrio.
	Big news, Lieutenant Shane Lammon, the supervisor of the department's intelligence branch, has been indicted and arrested for obstructing the investigation into Proud Boys' destruction of a DC Church's Black Lives Matter banner in 2020.
	Now this was when some moron stole a flag from a historically black church and they burned it.
	They didn't want Black Lives Matter on a church.
	It's not a good optic, but I understand what they're doing.
	And then Enrique decided he's going to take the blame for it because he's considered Afro-Cuban and it'll be less easy for a jury to throw a white dude in jail.
	Again, I don't know what's going on with Enrique.
	I heard he was bad out in Florida, and the Fed stuff was number 37 on the list of bad things.
	But if he wasn't a Fed, that's a noble thing to do, to take the blame for something he didn't do, because you know the jury will be kinder.
	If he is a Fed, well, this is a bizarre game of cat and mouse where people pretend to be arrested for things.
	I mean, he did go to jail, right?
	That guy's wearing a Blacks for Trump shirt.
	I never noticed that before.
	Weird.
	But in that, if you go back to that tweet, you can see that the cop said, he said, I don't want you guys getting jammed up.
	I support your organization.
	It's I think it's the next one.
	So there's two.
	This is the latter of the two.
	No, no.
	That's the latter of the two pictures.
	It's the next tweet.
	He said, I support you and all you do.
	I don't want to see your group's name dragged through the mud because we're a pro cop organization.
	Now, what I find interesting about the other people commenting on this is how they go.
	Yeah, I knew it.
	Go down.
	We're shocked, this is the collective DC shocked face.
	Working forces and burning crosses in this economy.
	I looked up that guy, he's a lawyer.
	So, this is proof that the Proud Boys are above the law and it's proof that the police are in the KKK, like the Rage Against the Machine song.
	Law and order for thee, but not for me.
	They're totally fucking blind to the fact that Proud Boys are in prison right now And two of them just finished four-year sentences for nothing.
	And Antifa's throwing Molotov cocktails into cop cars and getting parole.
	So, that's how far gone we are.
	We have one piece of evidence of one cop maybe making things kind of better, and that's proof that the whole system is pro Proud Boys.
	Not from where I'm sitting, folks.
	Not from where I'm sitting.
	What do you think of that, Ryan?
	I don't even know if you want to know what I want to think.
	Well, no, I want to hear about it.
	Alright, well, I think it's a disgrace.
	Yeah, I can't hear you.
	I think it's a disgrace.
	I also think- Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I said, that's not gingham, that's houndstooth you buffoon.
	This is a letter from a lady.
	The effects of Gavin's performance art practice.
	I was a subscriber who can- this is a woman.
	I was a subscriber who cancelled because of Gavin's performance art.
	This is when I, uh, allegedly faked an arrest.
	I knew I would return, however, because you, AIU, and Kumia are just so wonderful, but I thought it would important to share how Gavin's art changed the way I interact with your content.
	When I saw the tweet a month or two ago asking to retweet information about a January 6th protester being persecuted, I normally would have retweeted it.
	However, because I am now clear on the scope of Gavin's performance art practice, I did not.
	I bookmarked it and planned to double-check the info and then retweet.
	I never went back and did that.
	Also, it is weird that so many, as the kids say, sus characters have orbited the channel.
	Loomer, Ali Alexander, Milo, Enrique Tarrio, Jack Murphy.
	However, when I mentioned this to one of my friends, he assured me that someone involved with as many lawsuits as Gavin probably isn't a fed.
	I sincerely enjoy hearing your stories about your wife and kids, in addition to the ones about your parents, and share them often with my husband.
	Sincerely, proud Karen, Sarah Alexander.
	Well, let's look back at the sus characters there.
	Enrique Tarrio, yes.
	The Proud Boys threatened the establishment and that meant the feds had to come down hard on it.
	So you're going to see feds in any organization that is a threat to the deep state.
	They go where their enemies are.
	Jack Murphy, yeah.
	I mean, he never came out as a fed.
	He came out as like this be a man guy who used to do porn.
	I don't know.
	What's sus about that?
	And he wasn't quote-unquote sus at the time.
	Just a little grody, but that's, you know.
	Milo?
	Yeah, I guess.
	He's been accused of some scams and stuff.
	Ali Alexander.
	Okay, so I know Ali Alexander.
	The allegation is that he was grooming young men.
	Does that mean I'm grooming young men?
	I don't understand.
	And then Loomer.
	What has she done that's bad?
	Like, there's all this infighting within the right because I don't know why, actually.
	Maybe it's an alpha thing.
	Matty always said this about the Hells Angels.
	Because it attracts so many alphas, they're constantly warring at each other and infighting for leadership positions.
	And maybe because you can't really be a wimp on the right these days.
	You have to be, I'm not gonna say tough, but you know what I mean?
	Thick-skinned is a better way of saying it.
	So when thick-skinned people are together, they sort of go at each other.
	But if your list included a bunch of people who turned out to be feds and they were all my friends, that would be different.
	It seems to be what you're implying there.
	And for the record, that joke, whatever it was, I didn't get to complete it because someone spilled the beans, cost me $35,000 in subscriptions.
	$25,000 in subscriptions.
	So I think I paid a fair price.
	I also, not to go too far behind the fourth wall, but like, I thought it was a really good way of showing the bloodlust for me to suffer.
	The media won't talk about me because they don't want people to go here, but if there's something like me failing, or being arrested, or I promise you, if censored.tv goes bankrupt, it's going to be just as popular with the media as Vice going bankrupt.
	I'll suddenly be back on the front pages.
	So I wanted to showcase that.
	But I was worried about you.
	Dude, I'm worried every fucking day of my life.
	You should see my security system at my house.
	I've had armed guards stay overnight at my house several times due to death threats.
	You want to talk about worrying?
	People threaten my wife and kids in this mailbag on a regular basis.
	If it's it's your joke to make that's what I didn't get the outrage for I understand that it's not so chill making people worry about you But it's it's a reality.
	That's why people believed it because it's a reality that could absolutely come true So it's not like you're you know, I don't know.
	I also fired you we pretended Joe Tonelli worked here Ryan was here when Joe Tonelli was here Banning the controls Joe is way too stupid To figure that out.
	We shot at each other with a rifle on the show.
	The fight was real.
	We had that fight at your house.
	The fight was real.
	We do.
	We did a marathon where we looped eight hours for five days.
	We did a real 24 hour marathon.
	Anyway.
	We like playing a little prank.
	We've been doing this for a long, long time.
	Remember, alright, can we say the thing about the masks?
	What was that again?
	At the old studio, the masks.
	We would have one frame of you just with like a monkey mask.
	Oh yeah, I forgot all about that.
	We bought different masks and we would put it in for one frame and people caught it.
	One time we got a call on the live show like, hey, I've been noticing there's some weird glimpses of a guy in a mask and we just hung up on him and we just never mentioned it.
	We like, I don't know, it's fun.
	Hey Gavin, say the following out loud to yourself over and over until you find the mistake.
	It's not hard to differentiate between a sunset and a Scotsman in a bad mood.
	Where's the mistake?
	I let it slide the first time, but you did it again on last night's show.
	It's a cute joke.
	Stop fucking it up with your typos.
	It's not hard to differentiate between a sunset and a Scotsman in a bad mood.
	Am I getting the word differentiate wrong?
	It has never been hard to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
	That just sounds like there's colloquial differences there.
	Yeah, are you mad?
	Why are you mad, sir?
	Are you mad that I'm not quoting the saying verbatim perfectly?
	Like Ryan just did?
	It's the same joke.
	How is it a typo?
	I'm gonna email this guy back.
	How is it a typo?
	I mean, I think the one that Ryan played is the authentic one.
	I think that mine gets the exact same point across and the same funniness of it.
	Anyway, weird.
	By the way, when we were mentioning the prank, this is something I just remembered.
	We weren't like, oh, this is gonna make the news, oh, everybody's gonna care about this.
	I didn't know that people would reach out and be like, hey, you guys okay?
	To that degree.
	Oh, I absolutely knew that the Huffington Post, Daily Beast, all those losers would be giddy with glee that I was possibly in trouble.
	Right.
	They loved it.
	I knew that.
	But that definitely wasn't the goal.
	What do you mean it definitely wasn't the goal?
	Now you're telling me what I was trying to do?
	Well, the thing that makes me sick is people thought that we did it for attention, for publicity, which is not the case.
	No, I did it to lampoon the left and their voracious lust for the suffering of their enemies.
	Just like the Karen with the city bike, you know?
	That would be, if that was fake, that would be a perfect example of lampooning everyone's darkest side.
	Your boy, not only the bank, not only, your boy, wait, Ben Crump race grifting Morgan Stanley.
	Your boy, not the only bank he's involved in shaking down either.
	Crump and his BLM friends are like the 1950s mafia with this shit.
	Surprised you haven't mentioned this on the show.
	Link below this story, also made it to Bloomberg, though predictably his name was buried, buried, I still have a British accent with that word, in a middle paragraph, not the headline.
	I would kill for that pin.
	I have scoured his website.
	Can someone... I'm not advocating for crime, but can someone get that from him, please?
	He must have a bunch.
	You don't make one pin.
	He literally has a bird which is the bald eagle pin.
	It's from the same quote.
	It's not a coincidence.
	He has the bald eagle initiative.
	Oh!
	What?
	That looks very similar.
	No, it doesn't.
	It does.
	Zoom in on that.
	Pull that shit up, Jamie.
	Oh, that never occurred to me, that he just bought an eagle pin online.
	Yeah, I mean he doesn't have like a pin factory, right?
	I mean, or does he?
	Wait, that looks very similar to this one here.
	We got straight... Zoom in on his pin.
	A V-shaped wing.
	Yeah, it's a little different.
	I mean, I'm sure it's... No, it's got to be the exact one.
	He should sell them.
	Oh, that looks like it.
	That one here?
	Yeah.
	But it's facing the wrong way.
	Yeah, it's facing the wrong way.
	He doesn't have something.
	He's got something in his hand there, in his claws.
	I guess it's justice.
	A Klansman.
	Yeah.
	He's got a Klan hood.
	Civil rights attorney Ben Crump filed a lawsuit on behalf of Anthony Fletcher against Morgan Stanley, one of the world's largest blah, blah, blah.
	Fletcher, a recruiter, was contracted to hire black talent for the financial firm for seven years.
	In the 25-page complaint, Fletcher, who is black, claimed that only 16 of the 200 highly qualified diverse candidates he sourced were hired for management roles.
	So they hire a guy to hire more blacks.
	He brings them 200 and they go, I only like 65 of these.
	That doesn't look gold to me.
	He wears a gold eagle lapel pin?
	That seems false.
	Why don't we call him and just say, hi, we're from whatever, Massachusetts University, we really like, we want to support you, and we will do a financial donation, but at our next swap meet, we want to wear your pin.
	Right.
	Because we want to show our love and admiration for the Bald Eagle Initiative, which is sort of true.
	We definitely want to get involved.
	Get involved!
	Get into it!
	Beer logo submission.
	Gavin, here's my beer shirt submission.
	I knew this would take a long time.
	That's pretty good.
	Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
	I managed to meet some really talented designers through this t-shirt competition.
	Hey Gavin, this is my four month old daughter named Sophia.
	She means everything to me.
	I just wanted to pass on some of her joy to the audience and I hope this helps push some of these fag baby monsters to get married and make some babies, as you have always preached.
	"I like you more than a friend." - Care to ride with us? - - Here's one five margaritas lady.
	This has been going around.
	Not sure if this is sprinkles, but she definitely commanded that crowd.
	She had them aiding her bid at the end.
	Great crowd work.
	If you buy her one margarita, she will spread her legs.
	If you buy her two margaritas, she will pounce right on your penis.
	After three margaritas, she will grab your penis and put it in her mouth!
	Four margaritas!
	Three!
	Marcaritas!
	Four, two, three, four!
	She will grab your penis and ram it right up her anus!
	I like how she's using the proper medical terms.
	2, 3, 4, 5!
	That's a lot of margaritas.
	She will strap it on and take you.
	Salted and Buffett song.
	One margarita, two margarita, three margarita.
	I didn't know this song was about anal sex.
	It's about anal strapping on, and yeah.
	Yes, it is.
	That's just a huge tub of lube.
	I got lube in the coconut, baby band over, and I got some... Brian Callen getting punked.
	Like the top comments said on that video you played earlier, Brian Callen had to have paid the Cro-Mag dude to say that.
	He hikes his feet under his ass when he sits, for fuck's sakes.
	Yeah, I hate that.
	I've seen podcasts where guys kick off their shoes, like Burt Kreischer and stuff, kicks off their shoes and then they sit like crisscross applesauce on a chair with their toes out.
	Dude, you're on TV.
	I don't even want to see your socks.
	The hypnotist that I had on the podcast, he was talking about this guy who was 60 years old, who was standing on the top of a hill, and he was looking down, and he was like, well, why don't you go down?
	He goes, no, those guys are down there.
	They used to bully me in high school.
	He's 60, and the guys used to bully him in high school.
	He was waiting for them to leave before he went down.
	That's sad.
	Whoa.
	He was looking down.
	You know what happened to me?
	I got bullied for a full year, and it turned me into a fucking, if somebody tried to bully me, I'll show up at your fucking house and kill you.
	That's what happens.
	I get so angry.
	- I hate when he talks like that. - I hate when he talks like that. - I hate when he talks like that.
	- That's not true.
	- You fucking bully me.
	- If I bully you.
	- You try bullying me right now, motherfucker.
	- You know what your problem is?
	- Hold on, let me hear you.
	- Okay, stop.
	I remember seeing this when it came out and I remember thinking Brian Callen's a pussy 'cause Joe Rogan talked him down and Joe Rogan knows him.
	But now with fresh eyes, John Joseph eyes, it's possible that Joe and Straub there are dressing him down and they don't know that he actually is a brawler.
	Right.
	He's not crying in this segment.
	So maybe we misread it the first time we saw it and in this argument Brian's right and Joe has no idea that Brian does kick ass.
	And the fact that he does kick ass, he's not like in a rush to be like, no, no, no, really I do.
	Cause that's not what a badass would do.
	But he does do that.
	You've talked to too many guys that let you say shit like that.
	And then it becomes like vernacular.
	This is what I do.
	All those people that I know, all those people that when I first met you, all those people you used to hang around with, those are all toxic and they've ruined the way you're allowed to communicate with people because they said stupid shit.
	Maybe, like that doesn't prove that he's not a good fighter.
	Right.
	Look at how my, what do you have to say to me?
	I watched a scary movie with him.
	I'm going to have to shut this podcast up.
	Not yet.
	Not yet.
	We have to, hold on.
	I watched a scary movie with him and it was the most annoying thing ever.
	He goes, oh, I fucking wish a demon would grab me, man.
	You know what I would do?
	Maybe he is.
	Like that doesn't prove that he's not a good fighter.
	Right.
	It's just Joe assumes he, and I did too, but I don't see John Joseph as a liar.
	That's his whole deal.
	He's like, be real.
	Maybe he's a badass who can't prove it verbally.
	Yeah.
	Henry Ruggs, an NFL football player, formerly with the Raiders, killed a 23-year-old girl.
	He could potentially get three years in prison with a plea deal.
	So, this goes back to our stupid justice system.
	Contrast that with Max, John, and this poor old bastard.
	How long until it's illegal to be white, or are we already there?
	The Department of Justice wants him to look at that.
	You get wasted and you murder a little girl, young lady, and you mock a politician.
	That's really what he's doing right there.
	He's mocking a politician.
	That's his crime.
	Sure, there's trespassing, other stuff like that, but what's he really doing?
	He's ridiculing the state.
	And Comancho ain't taking that.
	No way!
	You're a fag.
	Your shit's all retarded.
	All right, let's get to the final vid.
	Here's an unusual place to live.
	I kinda, I like conflict, and I would like to be on this street.
	It looks like it's definitely not boring.
	Let's check it out.
	Okay, that's a trans house.
	That's a Black Lives Matter gay house, I guess.
	And these are the neighbors.
	God hates fags.
	Fag marriage dooms nations.
	Fear God.
	Is that a church?
	What is that venue?
	What kind of events do they hold there?
	We should play there at the end racism tour.
	And just start making out with each other.
	That's a landmark.
	Like if I'm in that town I have to go see that with my own eyes.
	Anyway, fun stuff.
	Have a great weekend, guys.
	Try to stay off your phones.
	Spend time with your kids.
	If you're single, don't Netflix, binge, get out there, meet chicks.
	You know, you guys, you young men, you should try bombing.
	It's funny.
	You have a great story to tell your friends.
	I went over there and I said, can I buy you a drink?
	And she said, no, I have a boyfriend.
	And then I had overheard her saying she was single.
	And then she goes, yeah, I guess I was lying because I don't find you attractive.
	And then I said, I'm not.
	And walked away.
	Now, that's humiliating.
	It's not fun at the moment.
	But you now have a great story to tell your friends.
	You can laugh your heads off at how you bombed.
	You should try to bomb.
	You know one trick we used to do?
	Me and Sharky, we'd go up and we'd pretend we were shit-faced out of our minds.
	I mean, we'd be like...
	Oh, you two are so pretty.
	And they'd be like, oh really?
	You like us, do you?
	Oh yeah, you should take a bath together.
	Both naked in a bath.
	And they're like, okay buddy, thanks a lot.
	And then I go, hey, watch this, you want to see something cool?
	Watch this.
	Sober as a judge.
	Hi, how are you?
	I instantly became sober.
	That's magic.
	That'd be a good, it was a good conversation starter.
	One time, I'm sure I've told you this before, one time we did it and the girl goes bullshit.
	I go, what do you mean?
	She goes, you're still wasted.
	I go, what?
	The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
	The able was I, I saw Elba, woo-doo, following your finger.
	What do you mean?
	I'm faking?
	This is fake?
	She was just very dumb, I guess.
	Dumb bitch.

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