| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Mice in the Room
00:03:04
|
|
| We've been waiting for the days that talk so free. | |
| And now it's the weekend. | |
| Ah. | |
| *sad* | |
| Tucker's fired, and we got mice. | |
| You know what? | |
| I don't think it's the kitchen, Ryan. | |
| No? | |
| No, because those people are super anal and clean. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That's a good point. | |
| So they don't leave food lying around. | |
| You've been in that kitchen. | |
| It's always spotless. | |
| Do we have food in that storage room? | |
| No. | |
| Well, we have ramen noodles, I think, but the package I haven't checked. | |
| Check now. | |
| All right. | |
| Because I'm dying to itch my eye. | |
| I'm the most mouse allergic person in the world. | |
| If you want to know if you have mice, just invite me over. | |
| I'll stand in your living room for two seconds and start wheezing and itching. | |
| Not even a cardboard. | |
| Yeah, they wouldn't know it's food, right? | |
| If it's wrapped up. | |
| I don't think it registers as food to mice because it's so like process. | |
| But really, there's no food over it. | |
| But they came down and they like. | |
| You can't hear me. | |
| There's shit and piss all over our printer paper. | |
| If any mice are watching this or listening right now, we're going to kill you. | |
| So if you see a little piece of peanut butter on a tiny piece of cheap wood and there's a spring near it, I would avoid that. | |
| Yeah. | |
| If you're a fan of the show and a mouse at the same time. | |
| Any mice, any mice in that next room, I'd be very wary of free food. | |
| If you're not a baby meister, go fuck yourself. | |
| Eat the peanut butter. | |
| My theory is that it's the Mexicans want to raise that clean here. | |
| They're like, go ahead, mijo. | |
| Go ahead, shitty. | |
| That's a great theory, Ryan. | |
| It's the Mexican cleaning mafia is at it again. | |
| Well, that alarm did go off a lot. | |
| Is that zone? | |
| Oh, fuck. | |
| That's the movement. | |
| Dude, that's the movement. | |
| That's the movement. | |
| But I looked on the cameras with a hawk's eye. | |
| Hawk eye. | |
| And I didn't see any movement. | |
| I remember looking at like that around the area where it said that there was movement, and I just watched. | |
| And I was looking for a paper blowing on the floor if the air went on or something. | |
| Saw nothing. | |
| So just like I looked like a freak last week with that red eye thing, I can feel it starting again. | |
| I can feel the itchy here. | |
| No. | |
| Anyway, that opening band was High-Viz, London band. | |
| They're always listed as hardcore, London, UK hardcore. | |
| They just sound like a good pop band to me. | |
| Maybe I'm so tough that hardcore punk sounds slow. | |
| We have a, before we talk about Tucker and other important stuff, we have a very important fart update. | |
|
Swear Words on Kids' Shows
00:01:31
|
|
| On the kids' show, we were discussing toots. | |
| I got a letter. | |
| I'm going to read it later on. | |
| This woman was talking about how she's very disappointed in me because I swore. | |
| I beeped it out, but you could still make out that the word was fuck in the kids' show. | |
| Uh-oh. | |
| I think I got it. | |
| And then she listed all these other things that are swear words, including hell and farts. | |
| What? | |
| See, farts is a stretch. | |
| Hell. | |
| And ass. | |
| You're supposed to say but and toot. | |
| Yeah, we couldn't say ass in my household. | |
| Really? | |
| Yeah. | |
| For a while, until I was like 14. | |
| Scottish people and Canadians and then Scottish Canadians, you can't scream cunt in your grandmother's face if she just woke up. | |
| You got to give her 10 minutes. | |
| Give her a cup of tea. | |
| And then you give her the hard tea. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Do you show breasts on that television? | |
| Or is that farther out in Europe? | |
| They show breasts. | |
| The words I don't let my kids say are cunt, fuck, shit, motherfucker. | |
| And the N-word. | |
| Right. | |
| Retard in the right context is fine. | |
| You wouldn't call someone with special needs a retard, obviously. | |
| But you could say that's retarded. | |
| Anyway. | |
| So on the show, I said we were laughing, farting, and then I went, wait a minute, the cameras. | |
| We have cameras all over indoors and outdoors. | |