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Feb. 21, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:35:22

S4E220 - THE BLACK MONARCHY

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	This is DJ Ubert.
	I want to sex you.
	I want to sex you.
	No one wants to sext me.
	Isn't it funny what different experiences different people have?
	Like if there's a hot chick with big tits and a fat ass, a pokratudinous poly, she's just on the train and she knows every single dude there is dying to fuck her.
	And then you and I walk down the street and it's the farthest thing from anyone's mind.
	Like when I walk by woman, I could be a giraffe or a garbage can.
	They're never like, whoa, wouldn't mind a piece of that.
	Sometimes homos feel that way, but that doesn't help me.
	One time I was on my bike in the West Village and some gay 70-year-old was like, hello.
	And I almost circled my bike around and said, are you out of your mind?
	Do you know how out of your league I am?
	Well, sometimes there's an exception to the rule.
	And like a chick that thinks everybody wants the boner, a guy doesn't.
	I got friends?
	I don't.
	Do you think I'm hot?
	Eh, not really.
	Oh, why?
	Way many more people attractive here than you.
	What's not hot about me?
	Your personality and your voice.
	My voice!
	You're a little too small.
	You can maybe like eat a burger, not be anorexic.
	That's aggressive.
	I don't know who you're trying to impress.
	No one's going to simp over you.
	I got friends.
	That's obviously a guy trying to play hard to get.
	Friend zone himself.
	Well, I will let you take a shit on me.
	Piss on my face.
	I wouldn't hate to have some of your old socks.
	So today is a free episode.
	We're not making the Thursday night the free show anymore because that's a show called Cops and Robber, where we have three cops or so, three to five cops, two to four cops, one to five cops sitting on a panel.
	And then we have our felon friend, Maddie.
	And then we look at cop videos and crime videos and we discuss them and we take calls and letters and stuff.
	And I don't know.
	It's not representational of the show.
	And the live show that we put out on the podcast is supposed to encourage new subs.
	So shouldn't the subs show be typical of the show?
	Yeah, when you're at the mall and they give you Chinese free sample, they don't give you like a Nathan's hot dog.
	They give you the thing you're going to buy.
	Right.
	They don't give you the specials.
	They give you what they're known for, which is dogs.
	That's correct.
	Sad.
	We should try to get away with crimes while it is the Cops and Robber Show.
	Like try to do crimes while they're there and see if they notice.
	Like maybe have a little claw hand on a string that slowly lowers to their back pocket and grabs their wallet and then pets go.
	And I'll have the joystick here.
	I'm like, that's tricky.
	But I'll have a camera back there.
	Embezzling, we'll bribe each other and light crimes.
	We'll just shoot heroin in front of them.
	Right.
	Well, they're all retired.
	They couldn't care less.
	But so from now on, Friday will be the free show.
	I'm doing it Tuesday because I'm going to see the Mets at spring training.
	I'm sorry to bombard you with all of these new details, but there's been some changes here at the shop.
	Sort of like Project Veritas.
	The board has decided that I will no longer be the star of this show.
	It's going to be Ryan.
	Ryan's taking over.
	All right.
	So obviously because it's a free show, we have to mention our sponsors.
	We're happy to mention our sponsors.
	The first one is Purple Works.
	Can you bring over or throw me that tub I gave you yesterday?
	Oh, sure.
	I got two at home.
	I gave Ryan one.
	You didn't work out today, right?
	Pretty intense taste.
	I'm getting used to it now, but my daughter said it was delicious.
	So shaka songgu, as they say.
	But I was working out this morning with it, and I, you know how your workout today is Waits Day?
	You know how a workout, it gets more and more painful until the end you're dying?
	With purple works, I've noticed that, yes, I'm dying two-thirds of the way in, and then I start not dying.
	So we were doing this thing with the barbells where it's like belly, one, two, and then one, two, and one, two.
	It kills these part of your arms.
	And the third time I did it, it was easier than the second time.
	So you get this weird second wind.
	And as I described yesterday, it condenses an hour workout into about half an hour.
	Purple Works Nutrition's pre-workout has no artificial sweeteners, colorings, or preservatives.
	Formulated by a paramedic with 10 years of experience on the ground, it's great for men and women.
	You don't need to cycle on and off this pre-workout, unlike many other alternatives.
	They don't give you absurd amounts of vitamins, like 10,000% of your daily value, which you just pee out again, I guess.
	Those extreme amounts of vitamins can't even be absorbed, and they end up shocking the system.
	PurpleWorks is formulated to give you the ideal amount of vitamins that your body can actually absorb.
	This helps with immunity health, muscle health, and tissue repair.
	It's not overly sweet, that's for sure, which allows for smoother drinking and reduced risk of upsetting your stomach.
	Purple Works uses only the highest quality ingredients.
	200 milligrams of high-quality caffeine, 3 grams of creatine, and 1.5 grams of Carnosin beta-alanine are all the cream of the crop.
	The pre-workout is proudly manufactured in the USA and an FDA registered facility that is also GMP certified.
	Enter promo code GAVIN at purpleworksnutrition.com and you get 15% off.
	Obviously, for using this episode to advertise the brand, we should be as milquetoast as possible, avoid race, the most undiscussable subject in the country, and present a very sanitized version of the show.
	I'm not doing that.
	I'm sorry.
	Too much happened today.
	So I'm in the car.
	You can erase that background now.
	I'm in the car.
	I have a 2000 Jaguar, and it just has a cassette player and a radio and CD player.
	So I would listen to Talk FM.
	And they also gave us these cool jugs.
	Cool milk, I mean, milk jugs.
	They gave us cool milk jugs.
	I don't know why she gave me that.
	And Talk FM, it used to have Chris Plant on it and Mike Knowles and Ben Shapiro and Dan Bongino, who, speaking of race, is every race in the world.
	And now it's just Christian garbage.
	No offense, God.
	But it's corny.
	So I'm going around the dial and I find WBAI.
	It says justice.
	Oh, cool.
	Malcolm X. I like Malcolm X. I like that he grew over time.
	Dude, it is the most radical black power stuff imaginable.
	Now, I obviously don't have a problem with that, but can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	They don't mention that Malcolm X had a coming to God moment where he realized it's about ideas and values and not necessarily skin color.
	They cut that part out and they take him at his most radical.
	And he was radical in the nation of Islam, man.
	You don't have, that's the problem.
	You're sitting there sinning, we shall overcome.
	You sing too much.
	You need to start swinging.
	You can't sing on cream.
	You can swing on cream.
	Meaning, start punching white people in the face.
	Imagine if the races were reversed.
	You need to embrace black nationalism, whether you're at the synagogue, the nation of Islam, or you're an atheist.
	You are not equal to the white man.
	You are better than the white man.
	And then they have Farrakhan come on.
	And I'm like, are they going to show the other side of this or show the progression?
	And this is a story about how someone who's super radical can become normal.
	No.
	It's a 100% black power.
	Maybe it's still going.
	Today's show.
	Okay, well, we've got a fascinating lineup.
	Just for our listeners today, we are.
	And I think this is still going.
	It's been going all morning.
	It's fascinating to listen to, but it was openly advocating for black supremacy all morning.
	Yeah, what do you care?
	Whites are still in charge.
	Okay.
	Some elite whites are in charge, yes.
	The rest of us are down here.
	I just thought it was really strange that that's going on.
	And it reminded me of the fact that America has a lot of black privilege.
	Followers of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad.
	This is Mimi Ray.
	Here we go.
	This is it.
	Elijah Muhammad.
	Islam is one of the greatest religions of all time for our people in America.
	They so-called him.
	This is on in my car.
	Maybe it's good they have Christian radio stations replacing Greek stations.
	Re-educating.
	Now, of course, when Elijah Muhammad is talking about the nation of Islam and he's talking about Islam, he's not talking about the Middle East.
	He's talking about their version, which includes a god who invented white people just to torment blacks.
	He has a giant penis and a giant brain.
	Things from outer space.
	I came into the Muslim movement in 1940.
	Anyway, the reason I bring up race is because I was watching this really good lecture that those dudes do.
	You know the Russian guy?
	Go to 1.3.
	We're really getting heavy right out of the gate here.
	So go click on that YouTube link.
	Yes, thanks for the external link.
	What's this guy's name again?
	Konstantin Kissen.
	K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
	I just thought this is a really good talk, and he talks about climate change and woke, and it's a brilliant point, which is Britain is only 2% of the carbon emissions, so what are we supposed to do?
	And I'd rather live my life right now, thanks.
	And as I said yesterday, Greenies, why aren't you concerned with Ohio?
	Why are you so worried about three generations from now?
	But here's what I find weird about this lecture.
	This is Oxford, the Oxford debate thing.
	It's the Oxford Student Union, and they invite these guys in.
	This is what gave us, what's his name talking about?
	The Otis Simbos.
	Terrence Howard.
	Terrence Howard, they had on, who made no sense.
	He sounded like he was on mess, actually.
	He probably is.
	But at the back, they have the treasurer.
	This is one of the Otis Simbos.
	They have the treasurer and some other dude, these black dudes.
	And they're literally on a pedestal.
	They're on a throne.
	And I'm watching.
	There, stop right there.
	So there's the blackest coal African dude, and then there's the other guy.
	That's not the president.
	The president of the Oxford Union is a white guy.
	But there's this weird thing in the West where we have to put blacks on a pedestal for the right to have free speech.
	It's like we acknowledge the black monarchy.
	Oh, man, this is sounding way too racist for the free episode.
	You know what I mean, though?
	Like, every the head, like, like, Canada has the queen.
	She's on the money.
	She doesn't really do anything, but it's just like acknowledging that she's the boss.
	And we tip our hats to the queen.
	We have a black monarchy in the West where we tip our hats to not African Americans, black people.
	It's a mascot, man.
	You gotta let people know.
	It is kind of like a mascot.
	It is kind of weird.
	Like, shouldn't the president be sitting on the throne?
	Why is the treasurer on a throne?
	And it reminded me of the time I was inducted into Harvard Lampoon.
	So, Harvard Lampoon, of course, is behind Animal House.
	Conan O'Brien came from there.
	PG O'Rourke, they had that PG O'Rourke Guide to Everyone in the World, which was alarmingly racist and funny, and it attacked everyone at the same time.
	It was really a satire of racism is what it was.
	But when I went there, the person, the head of Harvard Lampoon was this black girl, Alexis Wilkinson.
	And they said, you're in here now.
	Now, I checked the list of everyone who's been inducted, and I'm off the list.
	I have the little stupid coin they give me, 1.5, but it's in a junk drawer somewhere.
	Who cares?
	And I vowed to not discuss the secret society that they have there.
	But you kicked me out, so now I can spill the beans.
	By the way, see if you can dig up PGR work, National Lampoon, Guide to Everyone in the World.
	I've referenced it a number of times.
	And when you read it, you're like, oh my God, that's when we were allowed to be funny.
	And when you read the thing on Africa, you'll poop your pants.
	But when it's in the context of mocking Canadians and Australians and British people, it's funny again.
	That's the secret to true equality.
	Not to sanitize everything and make it nice, but to hate everyone equally.
	Spread out your vitriol.
	So now I'm going to get revenge on Harvard Lampoon by spilling all the beans.
	But wait, before I get to that, you should go back to the getter thing because we're missing a thing.
	It shows why that, yeah, a long way from the Eton chumocracy, the new faces of the Oxford Union.
	So here is an article.
	Meet the students shaking up the debating society and inviting the likes of Jacob Reese Mogg.
	Meet the students shaking down other students to the lunch money.
	So there's one white male there.
	He's probably gay or trans or something.
	And that article is conceding that these people were chosen because of their race.
	They want to shake things up and they want to show Eaton, the other school, right?
	It's Oxford versus Eaton, as we learned in with Neil and I. They want to show Eaton that they're racist by hiring a bunch of visible minorities.
	I mean, it's gay.
	So I get there.
	Black woman's there.
	Hi.
	We want to get something.
	By the way, where the Harvard Castle is, it's a stunning building.
	They don't allow pictures inside.
	I check my phone.
	I don't have any.
	I wish I did.
	But look it up on the internet.
	It's obviously in Boston, Massachusetts, or no, not Boston, but wherever Harvard is nearby.
	And I get there, stunning castle.
	I look inside.
	It's beautiful.
	And they go, let's get something to eat first.
	Okay.
	So I'm not getting host vibes here.
	Maybe it's a cultural thing.
	Scottish people, when you invite them there, oh, there's a picture.
	When you invite, I guess you can, there was a picture is allowed.
	When you invite someone to a place like that and you're inducting them into a secret society, they should be treated very well.
	I don't think this black chick knew who the fuck I was.
	I think I was in there because of vice do's and don'ts, and I'd been doing a lot of sketches like Sophie Can Walk and How to Piss in Public.
	And that was, this was like 10 years ago when I was doing How to Be a Man, the movie How to Be a Man, a lot of Are Women Hornier Than Men, a lot of comedy sketches.
	I doubt she'd heard of any of those.
	So they go, let's get something to eat.
	All right.
	We go to some shithole burrito spot that's like in a basement.
	And it's the kind of place you grab lunch when you're in college.
	All right, I don't really care.
	It would have been nice to have more of a dinner, but okay.
	Get a caterer or something.
	We go there, and I'm ignored.
	So I go, I buy my own burrito, and then I sit by myself in a shithole like subway type of chain burrito place.
	So I go, fuck this, I'm out of here.
	And then I go on a tour.
	I go, I say to them, I go, I think I'm just going to leave.
	This is not fun.
	And then they go, no, no, don't go, don't go.
	They're freaking out, freaking out.
	And I go, I'm just going to take the train home.
	This is ridiculous.
	This is stupid.
	And I'd been sitting alone, by the way, for like my entire burrito.
	So they beg me not to go.
	Like, I'm not mad.
	I'm just like, I totally misjudged how this would go.
	And she begs me not to leave.
	And so I start drinking.
	That's the only way to get through this, right?
	And they take me on a tour, but I still remember the tour.
	And as I was going through this building into their secret rooms, I was thinking, this society is done.
	Like, they don't do anything.
	For example, there's one, there's this cool like bed in a room with these two scary like skulls sticking out of the wall.
	And you can put your face in the skull from the other side of the room.
	I mean, yeah, from outside the room and watch someone have sex.
	And I thought, I bet that doesn't happen anymore.
	That's a funny idea that college people do, but I bet that doesn't happen anymore.
	Then they took me into another room where there was a fireplace with a tile thing.
	And one of the tiles is upside down.
	And if you pull it out, it's loose.
	It says, put me back, Conan O'Brien.
	Okay.
	So we tour around, and I'm just drinking from a bottle, getting bored.
	I know I'm not coming across very cool in this.
	And one of the guys showing me was this African dude who was black as coal.
	And he was like, he had this really erudite accent.
	Hello, hello.
	Yes, yes.
	And I go, you have the snobbiest accent I've ever heard in my life.
	You couldn't be more British.
	You look like that?
	Okay, don't do Africans first because people have a heart attack.
	But put that back up.
	Just in alphabetical order.
	Yeah, I know.
	Yeah, let's do French.
	Blow that up.
	I can't quite read it.
	I think there's a better one here.
	Yeah, this is like, this looks cooler.
	There we go.
	Yeah, that's how it was printed in Harvard Lampoon.
	So let's find, go to Canadians or British people.
	Yeah, Canadians.
	Zoom on Canadians.
	This will clear the palette before we get harsh.
	Canadians, racial characteristics.
	Hard to tell a Canadian from an extremely boring, regular white person unless he's dressed to go outdoors.
	Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the queen and illiterate sport fishermen.
	It is thought to resemble a sort of Arctic Nebraska.
	It's reported that Canadians kept pet French people.
	If true, this is their only interesting trait.
	At any rate, they are apparently able to train Frenchmen to play hockey, which is more than any European has ever been able to do.
	They now do French.
	Chinese.
	French.
	Racial characteristics.
	Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.
	They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras, wash nothing but their cunts, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts with their faces.
	Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine.
	They gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
	Good points.
	Invented the blow job.
	Okay, now jump to Africans.
	All right, here we go.
	If I had done this one first, you would have, I don't know, canceled me.
	And I bet people will still be offended, even though we started out bashing whites.
	Africans, racial characteristics, probably not people at all.
	Probably some kind of monkey.
	They eat each other and worship bundles of sticks and mud.
	You could never remember the names of their countries, which have a new main nigger every half hour and too many snakes and bugs anyway.
	They eat those too.
	They put bones in their noses and wear plants for clothes.
	Good points.
	Don't feel pain the way we do.
	PGRUC would probably be totally offended by this.
	Okay, let's clear our palates with one more white person, just because the only way we can live with black people being criticized in a black monarchy is to shit on whites more.
	Australians, racial characteristics, violently loud, alcoholic roughnecks whose idea of fun is to throw up on your car.
	The national sport is breaking furniture, and the average daily consumption of beer in Sydney is 10 and three quarters imperial gallons for children under the age of nine.
	Making a shambles is required study in the primary schools, and all Australians are bilingual, speaking both English and cheap, possibly a result of their countries being upside down.
	The local dialect has over 400 terms for vomit.
	These include technical or yawn, talking to the toilet, round-trip meal ticket, and singing lunch.
	It is illegal to employ the aboriginal inhabitants as anything but toilets.
	And some of the peculiar forms of native wildlife have up to nine assholes.
	The recent destruction.
	The recent destruction of Darwin by a hurricane was actually a cover story for the regrettable coincidence of paydays on three separate sheep stations.
	Holy crap.
	So it was just weird.
	You know, when you think of Animal House and everything, having this black woman, and she was elected because she's black.
	She said, when she was running, she said, hey, we'll either get sued a lot or we'll become totally unsuable.
	And of course, she was handed a sweetheart job when she got out writing for the VEEP.
	I thought that had more beans to spill.
	Anyway, that's enough.
	Race for now.
	Here's just a silly story that's going around.
	One, two.
	Oh, actually, no.
	You know what?
	Let's do another sponsor.
	And then we'll get back to that-ishnit.
	Jump Medic Aid.
	Now, I just got this in the mail.
	Jump Medic Aid is a company that sells first aid kits and first aid equipment.
	Their premier product is the Jump Medic Pro, which comes in red or black.
	The Jump Medic Pro contains two world-class first aid bags.
	Let's open them up, shall we?
	We have an unboxing.
	People love unboxings.
	Ow!
	Shit, I cut my finger on the handle.
	Just kidding.
	Well, if you did.
	If I did, it would be fixed.
	You know, bikers carry these kits on their bikes, like Hell's Angels and stuff?
	It's all to stop from a shooting.
	Whoa, look at all this crap.
	So you open this up.
	It's got two sides to it.
	Oops, I just dropped my thing.
	That's not bulky either.
	I thought it was way bigger.
	Look how big it is when you open it up, though.
	Don't leave home without it.
	Don't go report on a riot without it.
	Don't go to a rally without it.
	The larger bag, which I think I just opened, comes stocked with nine pounds of first aid equipment.
	Absolutely everything you would need in a first aid kit, from bandages to sutures to medications, and even a blood pressure cuff, glucose meters, shears, and a flashlight.
	The JumpMedic Pro kit also comes with a smaller secondary bag you can fill with supplies and uses a convenient, smaller, transportable first aid or trauma kit.
	You can use the bigger kit for your home or RV and take the smaller one with you when you go camping, hunting, fishing, or wherever you might go.
	Or keep the smaller one in your car for emergency.
	Let's see the smaller one.
	Yeah, this is the smaller one.
	Oh, they've got two smaller ones.
	These are awesome.
	Kind of makes me want to get injured.
	Go check out jumpmedic.com and look at the what's included page to get an idea of everything included in the jump medic pro the website has a lot of information about their products and what kind of customizations are available both incredibly durable bags allow for open flat access while in use which makes it quicker and easier to locate supplies in an emergency jump medic also sells refills for these kits and they sell first aid supplies
	for anyone who may need bandages medications and more they even sell the large and small first aid bags by themselves the jump medic Pro is great for nurses, paramedics, firefighters, and police, but it's also great for hobbyists and families.
	If you don't have a first aid kit in your home, or even if you do, this is a great product, possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price that is currently on the market.
	Go to jumpmedic.com.
	Oh, boy.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	Have you seen the promo code?
	Yeah, I guess you have, right?
	Yes, I have.
	Wow.
	It's all one word.
	So maybe it's Ryan's Ux.
	Maybe they spelled Uggs wrong and they were talking about your stupid shoes.
	You think so?
	Yeah.
	All right, cool.
	Well, yeah.
	I don't have Uggs yet, but I could.
	So go to jumpmedic.com and put in the promo code Ryan's Ux.
	Yes.
	And get 10% off.
	Look at all this stuff.
	And I guess we'll play a little bit of their theme song.
	That's a Ryan's Duck theme song.
	Let's jump.
	All right.
	You know how I ended the Harvard lampoon thing?
	People didn't like me.
	So at that, the end of the thing, when you're being inducted, it does actually get cool towards the end.
	It's better than a burrito in a shithole.
	And I'm sorry, but I think culturally, if it was someone a little more Harvard lampoony, I would have got a cooler reception, like shots when we get there or something.
	But as I did my speech, I changed from my suit to the exact outfit that John Belushi wore in Animal House, complete with the college sweatshirt.
	And that changed things.
	Then I was greeted happily.
	But Harvard Lampoon is woke, is what I'm trying to say.
	Go back to that picture you showed of that room.
	That's where they do that.
	So they do these toasts and they say something like, hear ye, hear ye, or point a parliamentary procedure or some sort of thing.
	And then they diss someone or do a roast or say a joke or something.
	And that they've been doing for 100 years.
	So I just ratted them out.
	Yeah, that's the room where I changed into the John Belushi thing.
	John Wayne is in it.
	Hugh Hefner.
	That's probably before they knew the internet.
	Well, it's definitely before they knew of the internet existing.
	So they were like, if you take a picture, that's fine.
	Just don't show anyone.
	Yeah.
	Just put it in a box.
	Put it in a box and seal it with a leather strap.
	Even Proud Boys did it, right?
	Enrique Tario, they had to make sure the head of the thing was black.
	Didn't help with the racist allegations, but it's just a strange custom we have now.
	Look at New York City.
	Mayor has to be black.
	Head of NYPD, FDMY, they're all going that way.
	It's this weird fake gesture where you put a black person in the window.
	It's like saying a Black Lives Matter sign.
	It means, you know what it means?
	Don't smash our windows.
	Now, Black Lives Matter signs are in shop windows to say, don't smash this.
	And a lot of the time, black people are the head of the organization, or at least the face of the organization, to say metaphorically, don't smash our windows.
	It's bizarre.
	Is this her?
	Seth Rogan Liz Winstead.
	Oh, no, she's Alexis Wilkinson.
	Okay, Harvard President Alexis Wilkinson.
	Wilkinson.
	Yeah, that's her.
	That time, and I don't really know nothing about it, honestly.
	I think I knew how it was portrayed in movies and stuff.
	Ew, look at his little foot moving around.
	I very quickly got a crash course.
	I'd rather die than hear this.
	I wonder if she's funny, though.
	Okay, let's see your talk.
	The sort of typical role of women in these movies who might be like the logical one is killing all the fun.
	She's actually sort of in on all the action and is crucial to the plot.
	So the second you drop the needle, she's talking about women being underestimated and society being systemically sexist, and this woman actually is a great role model.
	Like, shut up with the roles.
	Just be funny.
	I think it's cool that, like, you know, black women in movies, they could often have like two hairlines, the fuzzy one.
	I saw this new network, well, new to me, on my cheatbox last night, Reverie, it's called.
	And it's all gay all the time.
	It's a gay channel, right?
	So I'm watching it because I'm gay secretly in the closet.
	And it's drag kings, which is when women dress up as men.
	Guess what they're doing?
	Complaining.
	They are complaining that drag, when it's men dressing up as women, all they have to do is lip-sync Taylor Swift and everyone claps.
	But drag kings live in a systemically biased society where they have to pull out props and have, and they do have a lot of props.
	It looks kind of funny to watch, actually, with fake arms and then they have 10 costume changes and then they come out as a bodybuilder, but the arms are fake and then their real arms come out of their chest and all this almost like guar level effects.
	And they wish they didn't have to work that hard, but that's the systemic prejudice that is going on in the gay community and drag.
	And I'm like, will you people ever stop complaining?
	You know, they could win the lottery and it would be like the tax on this lottery winning.
	It's just insane.
	I mean, government gets upwards of 58%.
	Yeah.
	Out in Mumbai, that can't be fun.
	All right, enough of that political, dangerous, uncomfortable topics.
	I want to get to my Joe Biden set.
	We have a lot of My Pet Bidens.
	I would say this is a My Pet Biden episode.
	I didn't get to it yesterday.
	But before we get there, we've got to get the news out because that's what this show does.
	If you follow this show, if you watch Get Off My Lawn every day, you will not be missing out on anything.
	For example, something has to be done about this particular scenario.
	Jump to 1-2.
	Tell me what's wrong with this picture.
	Okay.
	It's coming up.
	Don't show that.
	That's enough.
	You know what we have to do?
	Load up.
	We have to put it down.
	Does that jump medic have any we have to take that dad out into the backyard, shoot him, dig a hole, have a funeral?
	Yes.
	The dog could stay.
	The dog's dying, too.
	Oh.
	We're going to bury dad next to the dog, and the dog will have a cute little gravestone.
	What the fuck kind of father doesn't kill a dog who bites his daughter's face and keeps the dog around, forgives him, and then the other kid is still hitting the dog.
	What?
	My friend Sarah, when she was a girl, she's got a little scar here.
	When she was a girl, dog bit her face.
	There was no drama.
	The dad just went, all right, he's Irish.
	Grabs a dog, goes out in the back, she's crying.
	She hears a bang.
	That's the last she saw him.
	That's been the modus operandi from zero till now.
	But imagine not even getting rid of the dog that bites your beautiful daughter's face.
	She's got permanent scars.
	The fuck is the matter with people?
	Go back.
	I have to see that again.
	She's got a black eye from the pressure.
	Her face is still swollen.
	She's got three different stop.
	She's got three different marks there.
	The first one appears to have like 12 stitches.
	The other ones are upwards of 20.
	And the doggy's still around.
	What the fuck?
	After 10 days of reflection, it took them 10 days.
	You know how long it would take to kill my dog if he ripped my kid's face open?
	A millisecond.
	Look at this take.
	Play stupid games with stupid prizes.
	Parents, teach your children how to respect.
	Yeah, that stupid kid.
	It's not cute to watch a baby hit on dog.
	It's not cute to watch a toddler hang on a dog.
	Know what your dog will and won't talk.
	People respect dogs more than children in modern America.
	And they think they're children.
	They call themselves fur moms.
	So, yeah, I think the state has to intervene and put that dad down.
	Also in the news, is there...
	We talked about this yesterday, but James is out at Project Veritas.
	It's going to be a mass cleansing, which is good.
	It's a purge.
	He's losing, he's cutting dead weight.
	He's going to start a new thing.
	I've got some ideas, by the way, for his new organization.
	Do you want to hear some of them?
	Sure.
	Pernicious Sit.
	Freddy Krueger's asshole.
	Puerto Rican eggnog.
	Full scabies.
	American Pignose.
	Hideous dress.
	Young men in masks.
	Grape-flavored suppositories.
	Multiracial morons.
	Homicidal shitbag.
	Frugal.
	What the fuck?
	This is my list of band names.
	I thought that did sound a little like rocking.
	Pickled foreskin, breast milk farts, dried-on stains, brown tampons, Nino's diarrhea, pressed ham opportunities, anal hand sanitizer.
	Yeah, these are band name ideas.
	Sorry about that.
	But I sent you something that's not in the notes.
	Pesobic put it up.
	I can't tell if it's a gag or not because I'm retarded.
	I think I know what you're talking about.
	I think, yes, it is a gag.
	But James is already doing jokes about him being fired.
	It happened two days ago.
	I have a feeling it's AI.
	Oh.
	Hey, it was pretty nice.
	So, did you hear the news?
	You got me fired.
	Well, he resigned.
	He resigned what people haven't shown.
	Well, let's just say James crossed certain lines that he shouldn't have.
	Oh, hi, James.
	We are aware of some dynamics in your room and then I'm just hoping that you could wear a camera and explode what's going on there in the future.
	Oh, that's a cool idea.
	I am not doing that.
	I'm just wondering what your comment is.
	I don't have any comments, dude.
	I'm leaving.
	How about being brave and doing something?
	Who drinks wine out of a champagne glass?
	You know, you know.
	That's funny.
	That's great.
	Yeah, the AI is amazing.
	We've got a new show on the network.
	Nick Oaks, who was sentenced to four years in prison for being a proud boy because he was at January 6th.
	He did nothing but meander in.
	He was there as a journalist.
	He did exactly what Elijah Schaefer did.
	I love Elijah, by the way.
	Elijah got zero time.
	Nick got four years.
	Why?
	Because he's a member of a white nationalist organization.
	He's also married to a black woman.
	He has two black kids.
	One is unborn.
	He'll be born in a few months.
	The other is like two or something.
	So he will see his new baby when the kid is four, his black child, because he's a member of a Nazi group.
	That's American justice.
	But anyway, he's been sending his letters.
	And did you finish this yet?
	Yeah, we have two episodes of the show.
	I did an intro yesterday as AI, and then his show is AI.
	It's him reading the letters.
	Yes.
	Can you show any of this sneak peek?
	We'll show a still frame because there's still the end part of your intro that is not finished yet.
	And you haven't seen this yet.
	Can you show my intro?
	Is that done?
	Yeah, you're part of it?
	All I did was Ryan took a picture of me, and then I wrote out what I want the intro to be, and then we AI'd it.
	Nick Oaks was sentenced to four years in prison for meandering into the Capitol on Technology.
	Oh, so you're going to make my lips move?
	No.
	Yes, you are.
	You are.
	Domestic terrorists.
	Oh, I could, but I thought Jesus Lord.
	How am I going to make your crutch?
	Well, let's just re-record it then.
	Deep fake.
	No, no, that's not how that would work.
	Because then why would we even have your head and face?
	I don't know.
	I thought it'd be easier to put my face on my face.
	No, it'd be easier to make your face move lips-wise.
	Okay, well, obviously, I want my lips moving in the intro.
	I don't care if you use that footage or any picture.
	And then that should match Nick.
	And I hope Nick's lips are fucking moving.
	We didn't even record that yet.
	Okay.
	That'll be me with his face swap on.
	So you've got some stuff to do when I'm in Florida, but I want people not to know that the intro is AI.
	And we're not going to explain that Nick is AI.
	I want people just to think we have a camera in a prison.
	To best make that convincing, I think you should lip-sync it.
	Because then the deep fake would give away that you are AI.
	No, no, no.
	The deep fake is going to be what all deep fakes are, which, by the way, my son, he had an assignment in Spanish, and you have to go around your house and introduce your family.
	You know what my son did?
	He took his friends and just deep faked his face on his friend's face and submitted that.
	And it worked?
	I don't know, but he should get a good mark.
	So do you understand this assignment, Ryan?
	Yeah, you want to get deep faked on your own face.
	Yes.
	Talking to that.
	Yes.
	I want that AI voice to have my lips moving.
	Yeah.
	Don't look like it's a challenge.
	Teenagers do it for their high school assignments.
	Why are you acting weird?
	No, I'm just figuring it out in my head.
	Figuring it out?
	Yeah.
	It's just, it's the same.
	All right.
	Well, there's good programs for it, and then there's the ones that Compound Media fans put on, like Regino Bisconti's Dancing on a Face.
	Yeah, I want it to be as good as possible.
	Clearly.
	Yeah, for that, I have to input a bunch of stills in different directions of you doing this, different mouth shapes.
	Really?
	Because my son, when he did that assignment, he just used one picture, and there was profiles and all kinds of things.
	What does it look like, though?
	I want to see it.
	Looks pretty good.
	Your idea of good is probably different than mine, but there's different calibers of good AI.
	Well, let's do the very goodest.
	That's why I'm figuring it out, which is something that I understand that your son might not have had to go through because it's a certain level.
	But this is going to be for an intro for a very important thing.
	Speaking of not left news, something is going on.
	We've got a meteor that crashes into South Texas, half ton.
	We've had six UFOs flying over, some of them IFOs, but they started out as UFOs.
	Balloons and all kinds of shit.
	We're spending millions of dollars to shoot down.
	And then this is all happening at the same time, this month.
	And then we have these ecological disasters where it's not just Ohio.
	It's all over the place.
	Food processing plants blowing up, massive fires.
	And the most recent one is these hundreds of rail cars.
	Go to 1.6.
	Just sitting there, rotting, waiting for something.
	And local farmers, ranchers in the heart of California, concerned about hundreds of rail cars full of unknown substances brought out to heart of agricultural land and head of aqueduct to San Francisco, unordered by landowners.
	No one knows what or why they are here.
	Are these all acts of war?
	Are we frogs boiling in water right now?
	Think of the other wars that started.
	They shot some guy who looks like me with a big mustache.
	World war.
	It's on.
	This, we've been invaded six times by very strange balloons, and then all of our shit is blowing up.
	And we're still like, let's talk about Nazis.
	Pipe bomb found in Pennsylvania train tracks, too.
	What?
	Yeah.
	You didn't see that the other day?
	Oh, yeah.
	You know what this could be?
	This could be domestic terror.
	This could be Antifa.
	This could be, what's that ecological thing where they throw soup on stuff?
	The name of that, it's called like, not Weather Underground, but Extinction Nation or some shit.
	Maybe it's those dudes.
	They just put out a movie called How to Blow Up a Pipeline.
	Either it's China testing us because they're ready to go to war over Taiwan, or it is Antifa slash radical leftists who want to hit the great reset button, or it's globalists, and this is also the Great Reset.
	Globalists and Antifa are the same thing.
	Antifa are just the paramilitary wing of globalism.
	So that's a concern.
	Do you want to see that broad talking?
	Yeah.
	Hey, everybody, this is Dal Arnson with the Alaska Patriot Network.
	I am visiting California, and I am here with one of the local ranchers.
	And I was brought out to this field in Stanislaw County, California.
	And this is the center of like the heartland of the nut industry, the almond industry, the pecan, or not pecans.
	New York City was the head of the nut industry.
	Cattle.
	There's not a lot out here, folks.
	And yesterday we were at a gathering and we were alerted by another rancher that the railroad company, some company, nobody knows which company this is, has brought in hundreds of these railroad cars.
	And you can just see the line of them here.
	Let me see, make sure I'm getting it in the shot.
	Pull up one of them, see what's in it.
	This in the shot.
	Now, on the cars, they say liquid, odorless liquid petroleum gas.
	Now, they are loaded.
	They're riding low on their axles.
	They're double and triple deep on this switchback.
	And this is important because these ranchers, this is unprecedented in this area.
	None of them, they're like, what the hell is this?
	Why are they bringing this into the heart of nowhere?
	I mean, unless you own land here or you're in the know-how, you don't know that this is here right now.
	And like I said, this is just the end of this line.
	I'll make sure I'm getting these cars in here.
	And it goes On for miles.
	There's hundreds of these cars filled with an unknown liquid in the middle.
	Now, what's significant about this is just over, you know, a few miles over is the main water pipeline that goes into San Francisco.
	This also abuts two important industrial feed this agricultural valley.
	So we don't quite know what's going on.
	Jesus Lord, ladies, you got to learn to kill your darlings and get to the point.
	So that's a concern.
	But let's cleanse the palette with a couple other stories before we get to my pet Biden.
	John Doyle's got a new video out that's very good.
	Very charming dude.
	He makes a shit ton of money on YouTube, and he puts out like three videos a year.
	The truth is, is that I have no idea.
	Sometimes it seems like the only thing that gets media, well, the only thing that does get media attention is violence.
	What does it mean?
	It means you're not educated on a woman's body, so you probably haven't pleased one.
	Real?
	That's true.
	White men, what is going on?
	I personally am not religious, so there is no God that grants me my rights.
	Put one up on the board for us, boy.
	It's bueno.
	Hey, incels, kill yourself.
	Oh, I'm so sorry if incels don't like me.
	Oh, my God.
	Go to hell.
	What a beautiful day to defend women's rights.
	Zoom out so people can see it.
	It's too long to play here.
	Angry and clueless feminists.
	So it's a great video to watch.
	He just put it out a few days ago.
	And it is John Dole trying to have a civil discussion about abortion.
	He's a very religious Catholic, far-right dude, and he doesn't think you should murder babies.
	They get up there and they use the same old arguments, ectopic pregnancy, meaning she'll die if they don't abort.
	That happens like once a year.
	And most pro-lifers are like, yeah, yeah, okay, get it out of there if she's going to die.
	What if I was raped by my dad and I'm going to have the baby?
	That's happened like twice.
	Upwards of 95% of abortions are just abortions of convenience.
	I want to wait a little bit.
	I'm not quite ready.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	And they focus on the women will have abortions anyway and they'll be done in back alleys and they'll all die.
	No evidence that this is a major issue.
	So they focus on these really esoteric cases and they make that 100% of their argument.
	And then they say it's just Christian men who are against who don't understand a woman's body.
	No, half of women are pro-life.
	The discussion is an ethical discussion about when does life begin.
	It should be apolitical and it should be devoid of talk of gender.
	Is this act murder?
	Anyway, the amazing thing about this video is all these liberals talk about is sex.
	They say, there's men screaming at him small dick energy.
	They call him incels.
	They talk about his penis all the time.
	They say you can't get laid.
	They say kill yourself all the time.
	They're there, by the way, because they think that life is sacred and these women need to be protected.
	It's bizarre.
	It's like a porn convention.
	It's like they're trying to insult a porn star.
	Drop the needle anywhere in there, and I bet they're talking about his penis size.
	Which, as someone with a large dick, you feel like you have to say to people, ah, I wouldn't go down that alley.
	You're going to be very disappointed if we start pulling shit out.
	Oh, this guy.
	Okay, listen to him.
	I'm so curious about your buttons.
	Fuck you.
	Fuck you, Intel.
	Fuck you, Incel.
	When I said, hey, Intel, he prepped up.
	If you go just a little bit before that, go before that.
	He's yelling at him no dick energy, which isn't a thing.
	Guys, real.
	You too!
	Physiogamy is so fucking real.
	What are you out here doing?
	I like your buttons.
	I'm out here saying f you.
	Why?
	Because you're like Lauren.
	Who's Lauren?
	Lauren Southern, I guess?
	No.
	Look her up.
	What does your hat mean?
	It means that I support women and you don't.
	Okay, let me get 30 seconds of your time on this.
	Special needs.
	Why?
	What's your name?
	My name is you.
	Okay, Q, we gotta be friends.
	I got the wrong part, but that guy was chanting no dick energy.
	Do you want to suck him off?
	That's enough of that video.
	So weird.
	I think it's too much porn these kids have.
	And my final piece of news is along the same lines.
	Catholic student up in Canada, and again, Ezra Levant.
	Ezra Levant once described Britain as a dystopian time machine where you can see where Canada is going to be in five years.
	I say the same thing about Canada.
	It's a dystopian time machine where you can see where America is going to be in five years.
	And in five years, apparently, Catholic students will be arrested for not wanting men in women's bathrooms and saying that there are only two genders.
	That's a crime.
	He's at a Catholic school.
	It is the Catholic doctrine.
	16-year-old Josh Alexander has been suspended from St. Joseph Catholic High School in Ontario, Canada, for protesting against transgender people's use of bathrooms and saying God only created two genders.
	It's in the fucking Bible.
	Leadership in the school told him his continued attendance would be detrimental to the physical and mental well-being of transgender students.
	You can't be transgender and Catholic.
	He tried to come back to class and got arrested for trespassing.
	Catholics cannot be Catholic at Catholic schools.
	How did we get here, folks?
	Which brings us to Beard Vet.
	Hold on a second.
	It's gone.
	Where's the beard vet shit?
	What?
	Where's the beard vet stuff?
	Should be when you walk in right to the left.
	I can't.
	I can't.
	I'm wasting too much time.
	Hold on.
	Beardvet.com has a great array of items.
	Okay, we're looking for them right now so we could show you, but they have coffee.
	They have apparel.
	Specialty items.
	We've been robbed.
	We've been robbed.
	It's gone.
	Beard oils, beard grooming kits.
	Beard oils.
	They've got a rub that Maddie's going to be trying out.
	He'll be promoting that on his show.
	Maddie's Shitty Little Kitchen, which I highly recommend.
	Can you jump in there and see if you can see it?
	Sure.
	Beard Vet has, it's War Vets, Vet owned.
	Fantastic coffee, fantastic beard grooming products.
	Time is running out to take advantage of Beard Vet's Valentine's sale.
	Still clinging to Valentine's.
	Until the end of February, get, wait a minute, it is the end of February, isn't it?
	No, we've got nine more days.
	Until the end of February, get two and a half ounce bags of coffee for $19.99.
	Any variety, House Blend, Gorillanilla, Militia Maple, Range Rum, and Combat Crunch.
	Whole beans or ground.
	All on sale.
	Two bags for $19.99.
	As always, they have a large variety of other products for sale.
	T-shirts, beard grooming kits.
	Where was it?
	Right when you walk in, to the left.
	On the other side of the Ottoman?
	Oh, you unpack them from the box.
	Ah.
	And they have a whole section.
	We now have a beard vet section in the storage room.
	As always, they have a large variety of other products for sale.
	T-shirts, beard grooming kits, beard oils, beard bombs, tumblers, and more.
	Many of those items are also on sale.
	They even sell spice rubs, which will feature very soon on Maddie's shitty little kitchen, which I said earlier.
	What are beard oils?
	I hear you asking.
	Well, beard oils are oils that go in your beard.
	They relieve itching and dry skin under your beard.
	They hydrate your skin as well as the hair, making both healthier, more resistant, and less likely to succumb to itch, dry skin, and dandruff.
	And there's nothing worse than beard dandruff on a black shirt.
	Every man goes through a phase where he goes, why don't I just wear all black all the time, like a black dress shirt with a black blazer?
	I'm going to become the Johnny Cash guy.
	And then they try it and they're covered in dandruff and they go, oh, yeah, that's why I don't do that.
	Well, you can be the Johnny Cash guy with Beard Vet Beard Bomb.
	You can also follow at Beard Vet Coffee on Twitter this Friday to get your chance to win free coffee, beard oils, and other products.
	At BeardVet.com, all orders over $40 have free shipping.
	Enter the promo code Gavin to receive 15% off.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	Oh, I said at beardvet.com, all orders over $40 have free shipping and enter the promo code Gavin to receive 15% off.
	I always say, you're buying coffee.
	Why not buy coffee from someone who is free speech, who is a vet, who is MAGA?
	It just seems logical to me.
	The guy who does my glasses, my optometrist, is MAGA.
	I have to get glasses anyway.
	Why wouldn't I go with him?
	My goal is for every single person in my life to be MAGA.
	My lawyer, my accountant, my barber.
	Shello, you've got a base.
	All right, folks.
	We're going to go behind the paywall soon.
	But we have finally arrived at the moment where we can focus on the funniest president.
	We thought Trump was the funniest president.
	He is as far as laughing with him.
	But as far as actual laughs volume, and that unfortunately means laughing at, my pet Biden is the winner.
	Ladies and gentlemen, let us focus on the most retarded leader of the free world the world has ever had.
	Biden.
	I hear my cat depressed.
	Biden.
	President.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Buddle-donkey.
	Exciting news in the world of comedy.
	Kyle Dungan is releasing the long-lost episode of Fresh Prince of DC.
	It's an intensely face-swapped sitcom that premieres today.
	By the time you're watching this, it should be on his channel.
	Go back to the beginning for the promo.
	This is the promo for it.
	I'm talking, of course, of Malarkey and the people who spread it.
	The Malarkey people.
	There's a Malarkey here.
	Can somebody please tell me what Malarkey is?
	I was born into a Malarkey, but I left it for love.
	Holy shit.
	I think that was made a long time ago.
	There's some trouble over at the Donegan establishment.
	Kurt Metzger, aka Kirp, is no longer with him.
	Wow.
	That's not a good move.
	What is this, Project Veritas, all over again?
	What the fuck?
	Don't kick him out.
	Or don't quit.
	Or however.
	I can't get the gossip.
	He won't tell me.
	But I don't know.
	Huh.
	Done again without Kirp.
	That's going to be the end of Time for a Yo.
	I didn't really like their male feminist characters.
	That was too easy.
	But the Sylvester Stallone show was so good on that.
	Is he like removed from?
	He's not on the channel anymore.
	And you'll notice, by the way, the production goes down to almost nothing.
	He's been putting up a video every three months or so.
	Okay, so he exists still in the live section.
	So it's not like he's been...
	No, there's this new bald guy, apparently.
	No, he was always there.
	So this is the last one with Kirp two months ago.
	Yeah.
	That's two months ago he was gone.
	He's not there anymore.
	He's not in the live.
	He's not in anything.
	Thank you for updating the thing I know about.
	No, I'm just saying he wasn't erased from the...
	Or from his site?
	No, I didn't.
	Let's take it back.
	Rewind it, folks.
	I said he's no longer part of the Dunne thing.
	I didn't say he's been scrubbed.
	You can just go watch all the episodes and see how great it was to him.
	Kurt Metzger, of course, one of the funniest dudes in the world.
	He's the reason Amy Schumer had a show.
	They got rid of him, and the show ceased to be.
	Although, isn't it coming back?
	Isn't Amy Schumer going to have more straight white males write jokes for her to perform?
	Before we get into Biden, we like to look at his staff.
	His staff can't speak English.
	Kamala Harris dedicated her entire tenure to coming up with a cool line like, We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
	She trips on words and repeats them, hoping that it'll become a t-shirt or a slogan, and it never does.
	And now we don't know what the fuck she's talking about.
	This has been transcribed.
	When you present the suggestion that anyone is saying that it is time for a new generation and they're running against the person who is president, and when presented as though it's an attack,
	I would like to let us all be clear that the attack is misplaced if the point of it is that we need leadership that is strong, because we have a strong leader in Joe Biden.
	Thank you very much, Madam.
	Wouldn't it be awesome if that woman said, what the fuck are you talking about?
	But when you present the suggestion that anyone is saying, go back, go back.
	I want to learn this new language that it's time for a new generation, and they're running against the person who was president, and when presented as though it's an attack.
	So she's talking about the DNC running a younger person, like, say, Gavin Newsome, and that attack is misplaced.
	Because if you're saying we need strong leadership, and the strong leadership would be Gavin Newsom, you're implying Biden is weak.
	And Biden's not weak.
	So don't come at us like that.
	Crack the code.
	Dude, I'm Indiana Jones.
	I just deciphered a bunch of hieroglyphics and then moved the correct stone and got the fucking Aztec jewels.
	It's funny that he was seen as a, oh, Joe Biden.
	What?
	Did you understand what your VP, or what you call the president, actually.
	Do you understand what the president just said?
	Vice President, President Trent, cinnamon toast crunch ain't a thing, man.
	It's just cookie crunch, man.
	Cookie crunch.
	Okay.
	This is one of the few times I've heard Joe Biden actually make sense, 22A.
	Dude, women are too agreeable for politics.
	They just accept.
	When they're told, when CNN tells women that Trump is racist, they just go, Trump is racist.
	They're too kind for this gig.
	Told my mom Joe Biden had an announcement to make.
	I'm smoking on Bhutanese Shadow Garden grown dark evil pack.
	They watered this with the blood of 36 dragons.
	Shit so purple it should be asking me, where's Ronald?
	Nigga, this shit will turn your pacemaker off.
	Nuclear levels of sour, lung slaughtering, necromancer cush.
	Shit got diamonds on it, so you know that THC to CBD race is fucking swag, nigga.
	A whiff of this shit?
	Yeah, this that nefarious evil sorcerer, Moongrass, this shit straight out of K-Lid.
	This shit is what shot Tupac.
	Rip my nigga for real dog.
	By the way, this is off topic, but women are so agreeable, you can convince them that phones can read their thoughts.
	22B, this is a great...
	Foulter on Tektop that tells you what you think about, right?
	Work, usual.
	Mo!
	Wait, me!
	I never thought!
	I'm not thinking!
	I never thought!
	Say, that's fouler.
	It tells you what you're thinking.
	Work, as usual.
	More!
	I didn't think it!
	Wait a minute.
	Have I got more of the Donegan?
	Go to 22C?
	I think that's what we just saw.
	Don't go to Patreon.
	That was available yesterday.
	This is Tuesday.
	It's free on YouTube today.
	But there's one of them that's longer, I think, out of those two links.
	Did you go on the Patreon one or the Instagram one?
	That was Instagram.
	Okay, go to the Patreon one.
	No.
	Poop.
	Here is Biden and Trump playing a video game on the same vibe.
	I love hearing these things because I love hearing Biden not be retarded for once.
	It's a fantasy.
	Ah, Dorado, I love this map.
	Takes me back.
	Is that you again, Joe, on my fucking team?
	Great, it's this guy.
	OGG, we lost.
	This is my rank-up game, too.
	We are not even out of spawn doors, and this guy is already complaining about.
	Someone dodge, please.
	You fucking Insta-lock Zen again, and you're going to feed again.
	How many accounts do I have to keep fucking avoiding?
	You are not beating the hard-stuck masters allegations, Don.
	That is so, Cap Joe.
	You know, I was having a really good day today.
	Don't care.
	Went golfing, hit a few holes in one, wanted to solo queue some Overwatch to end the day, and I see fucking fucking Bidenator in my lobby just to ruin my day.
	Can't wait until Blizzard fixed matchmaking, Jesus fucking Christ.
	Trump with the greatest Mountain Dew ever created.
	What is that?
	The Call of Duty one that came out.
	I forget which one it was.
	Does it taste better?
	It's so good.
	It was amazing.
	Maybe I'll drink Mountain Dew.
	I mean, they no longer make that one, but damn.
	I see my trainer drinking it all the time.
	Not Mountain Dew per se, but energy drinks, which is weird.
	Go to 22e.
	Okay.
	This is more.
	22e.
	It's more of the same, but it's great.
	Not right now, Trump.
	Not right now, bro.
	I literally don't even know where the fuck you at.
	Fine, guess I'll do it myself.
	But I'm not giving you guys any of the diamonds I find.
	Donald, no need to be rude.
	I'm trading with some villagers I found using the emeralds we mined earlier.
	I'll head over when I'm done.
	Trump, I don't give a single fuck about your diamonds.
	I already have a full chestplate and a diamond sword.
	Shut the fuck up, Sleepy Joe.
	You think I give a fuck?
	You probably modded that shit into the game anyway.
	Trump, I've spent way more hours on this server today than you have.
	Maybe you'd be caught up with the rest of us if you got on earlier when we asked.
	That's true, Trump homie.
	You never check Snap.
	We sent you a message earlier, but you always leave us on open.
	Well, maybe if you guys weren't always spamming stupid-ass memes, I'd be able to see when you actually message about something important.
	Dude, this fucking spider won't die.
	Just kill him, bro.
	It's not that hard.
	What the fuck?
	There's fucking two of them.
	Oh my god, I'm cornered.
	Where the fuck are you guys?
	Dude, just build a wall.
	It's what you're good at.
	Holy fuck, I'm gonna fucking die.
	Oh shit.
	Fuck.
	That's kind of tense.
	Is that Minecraft?
	Yes.
	I didn't know spiders attack you in that game.
	Oh, I think you get attacked by all sorts of things in there.
	Oh, boy.
	You know what I mean?
	Here he is saying that over half the women on his staff are women, which is actually probably true with all these trannies that he's hiring.
	He is the most affirmative action president in history.
	His judge appointees.
	He goes solely by race.
	Starts with black, ends with woman.
	White males are the last priority.
	Whoever is handling this puppet, the puppeteer is a globalist diversity fascist.
	More than half the women in my cabinet, more than half the people in my cabinet, more than half the women in my administration are women.
	More than half the women in my cabinet.
	More than half the women.
	He looks like a finger.
	He's a sad finger.
	Joe finger.
	He has no lips.
	The man with no lips in all broads.
	And remember cringe Jean-Pierre?
	She is the woman who doesn't know what NATO is and calls Canada Canadia.
	She's impressed with Joe, which I kind of get because she's so bad.
	She's looking up to Joe.
	Hey, if you're not a hot girl, all right, you got to surround yourself with a bunch of ugly women.
	I can't talk a lot of words, man.
	Not no words, man.
	I got to talk all week.
	All right?
	Listen, Fat, it's an idea.
	So you got to surround yourself with people who can't talk even better than you, man.
	I mean, come on, come on.
	I didn't understand that.
	Is it the view of the president's communications team that he is equally adept in all settings in terms of communications?
	Or are there some that play to greater strengths, some where he probably isn't as strong, et cetera?
	I will tell you this.
	The president is the best communicator that we have in the White House.
	Is it the view of the president's communication?
	It's true, though.
	She's right.
	That doesn't mean he's good at communicating.
	You know what?
	I changed my mind.
	I'm not going behind the paywall.
	I want the people who don't pay to see or hear the mailbag and the final video and all that stuff.
	I officially just changed my mind.
	2-5.
	Here he is being the greatest communicator in history.
	The president is the best communicator that we have in the White House.
	Are you sure?
	If you try anything to raise the cost of producing drugs, I will veto it.
	That the drug deal is going down, knowing that she would never be fingered, knowing that she would never be the one told it happened.
	And so crime began to drop.
	They had to know who's owned the local liquor store.
	They had to know and walk in and shake hands with the local minister.
	They had to know.
	$1.2 billion.
	So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at a store in a supermarket.
	You control the guy or the woman who brings out the carts on a forklift.
	What happened?
	You know how much I'm going to do with the depth of this year?
	$1,500.
	No, there's $16 there.
	I've already gone in for yet and a lot more than you're asked.
	Another 20 or something.
	Never underestimate Joe Biden's ability to F things up.
	That's what Barack Obama said.
	Go to 2.6 because 25A is mentioned in that.
	He talks like the way that, like, if there's a hard level on Guitar Hero, that you just kind of fake notes until you get to the part that's easy.
	You're just like, oh, fuck it.
	Community.
	He talks like those videos where someone's coming back from a root canal and she's in the car and she's got that fucking shit in her mouth and she's like, Dad, I gave my boyfriend a blue job.
	He's like, all right, that's enough, Jennifer.
	Did you see one of those where she was coming back from the dentist and they convinced her that there's a zombie apocalypse?
	No.
	With the local general anesthesia videos when they're coming out of it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This is how Joe Biden talks.
	God damn.
	Hey.
	Oh, God damn it.
	Like he's, no, he's, he sounds like he's, he's just, I count down from 10 is out administration.
	This one's just too funny to not watch.
	I don't know.
	Oh, no!
	Shit!
	thud you
	It's a robot, man.
	Go to 2.6?
	Anything to raise the cost of the business?
	Oh, there you saw that.
	I said 2-6.
	Tuzics.
	There he is being dope.
	With the biggest fucking booty I've ever seen.
	Oh, yeah, go to the beginning or you can't.
	I was on Tinder the other day and saw a chick with the biggest fucking booty I've ever seen.
	God damn, that shit was huge.
	I could barely believe my eyes, man.
	I had to cool myself off with a chocolate, chocolate chip, ice cream cone from Ben and Jerry's.
	Shit was actually fire.
	No pun intended.
	My buddy Kevin from the Secret Service then brought me to the White House to sign some more shit.
	It was probably more money for Belensky in Ukraine, but I didn't really give a fuck.
	Remember to keep it real and vote for me in 2024.
	Swiping on Tinta.
	You know what's sad?
	I bet I know what you're going to say.
	But go ahead.
	No, it's more to do with the bigger picture of it all, of the AI thing.
	Like, kids are already sick of it.
	Like, they like it, but then why are you so articulate, Joe?
	Well, like, even this, right?
	It's amazing.
	And I'd like to use it for a while now, but a lot of people are just like, yeah, it's alright.
	It's really amazing.
	The AI voice stuff.
	But then there's a lot of jaded Zoomers who are like, yeah, I see it.
	Like, the internet can't create stuff fast enough.
	Well, ChatGPT is a human mind, and people are already over it.
	Yeah, it's like you can't feed these computer kids.
	That's not what I was going to say.
	What I was going to say is the one trouble with AI is it has this sort of monotone thing of, hi, my name is Gavin McInnes.
	I'm doing a show on censored.tv.
	It's called Get Off My Lawn.
	You can watch it every day because Shows go up around 8 o'clock.
	It's usually about an hour and 20 minutes to two hours an episode Monday through Friday.
	Then on Saturdays, it's reruns of my old show, TGMS.
	And you sound like you're not really, you know, your heart's not in it.
	You're like a robot because you are.
	That's how Joe Biden normally talks because he's reading a teleprompter and he has no idea what it means, and there's no heart in it.
	There's no sincerity.
	So he's actually the best guy to AI.
	Trump sounds different.
	You can hear that it's not Trump.
	But Biden sounds like an everyday, normal robot Biden.
	Because AI is powered by machines, and Biden is powered by the giant methamphetamines they inject into his butt cheeks.
	Allegedly.
	What were you going to say?
	Allegedly.
	Here's what I was saying before about his judges being affirmative action and everything he does being affirmative action, not based on merit.
	He's the anti-merit president.
	2-7.
	Of the 97 federal judges confirmed under Biden, five are white men.
	Like 97.
	America is 60 to 70% white, depending how you see Hispanics.
	So it should be like 80 are men, just by demographics.
	22 are black women.
	Black women are 7% of the population.
	So out of 97, it should be like 5.
	So these numbers should be at least reversed.
	From LSAT data taken from a typical year when these students attended law school, 29 blacks scored above 170.
	More than almost 2,000 whites scored above 170.
	Like the basic math of it is alarming.
	There they are, Biden.
	And look at the data there, too, with Obama.
	Obama only appointed three.
	Bush did eight.
	Trump seven.
	Biden, 18.
	He's permanently changing the course of American justice.
	And we saw this with Max and John, the Proud Boys who were doing four years.
	They had an appeal.
	It was four judges, three black women, one Asian dude who wasn't paying attention, and actually left the Zoom during the appeal.
	He vanished.
	We never saw him again.
	And the three black judges got John and Max mixed up, and they didn't hear any of the arguments.
	Anyway, it's infuriating that this man is running the free world.
	Here he is.
	He loves this joke about saying don't jump when anyone is high up.
	What's happening over there?
	Pressing buttons.
	Here's a montage of him doing this weird don't jump joke.
	That's my grandson, Bo, up there, and my granddaughter.
	Don't let him jump.
	He's used this routine before.
	Don't jump.
	We need you.
	Don't jump, don't jump.
	Don't jump, don't jump, don't jump.
	Don't jump.
	Don't jump.
	And don't jump.
	Hey.
	Hey, man.
	Don't jump.
	You look crazy enough to jump.
	Don't jump.
	Don't jump.
	Look.
	And we're coming.
	Don't jump.
	Don't jump.
	You guys are used to jumping.
	Don't jump.
	And don't jump from up there.
	We need more people when you're called on these scenes and someone's about to jump off a roof.
	It's not just someone standing there with a weapon.
	Why does he say that?
	Because these people are in such agony.
	They'll probably go off the roof or the balcony.
	Okay, here's another one.
	But he keeps repeating that he can't believe he's president.
	Which says a lot.
	The other problem with senile people when they have dementia is they lose their filter.
	And he actually says that he agrees with us.
	This puppet should not be there.
	I told Governor Murphy once every time I hear the president of the United States look around and say, where the hell is he?
	He's coming.
	Yeah, he just did it again.
	Well, folks, you know, you don't have to stand every time I hear Hail the Chief wonder, where the hell is he?
	Took me a long while to think I'm joking.
	I'm not.
	I hate that you think I'm joking thing.
	Not a joke.
	He did it again.
	You are a joke.
	It's not a joke, Mary.
	Thank you.
	Every time I hear that, I wonder when he's coming.
	He did it again.
	Well, I was 14.
	If you put, please, at ease.
	I keep forgetting I'm president.
	What the hell's the matter with you?
	Do you want me to be fucking retarded?
	I support for Joe Biden for president.
	I'm playing a lot of Benny Johnson.
	Oh, this one is a doozy.
	Dude, this guy is gone.
	When you watch this, I want you to imagine you doing this.
	Can you imagine a scenario where you would do this?
	Is that a kid?
	I never noticed that before.
	That's a fucking kid.
	Oh, yeah.
	Dude, I'm sorry.
	That looks to me like 100% proof he's a pedophile.
	Can you conceive of rubbing your nose up the spine of a strange child?
	Even your own children?
	Look at that.
	I want to be in you.
	Oh my God, that is...
	Am I the only one creeped out of my skin right now?
	It's terrible.
	What the fuck, dude?
	If I was the fucking father and I was there, I would just start choking him.
	That freaks me the fuck out.
	All right.
	Here he is getting a picture of himself, and he's amazed.
	He's never seen a good drawing before.
	This is that dude, Devin Rodriguez, who sketches people.
	He's super corny, but he's good at drawing.
	Excuse me, Mr. President.
	I drew you.
	I drew you.
	You did.
	You look like a photograph.
	Thank you.
	It's an honor to meet you.
	God, we love you.
	Thank you.
	I love you.
	We appreciate everything about you.
	I'll tell you what, man.
	That actually looks like me.
	That's the fucking point.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, it's called a portrait.
	It's an honor.
	You know, I gotta ask you.
	You drew a picture of Biden wearing 10 years ago.
	What are you wearing to meet the president, by the way?
	Little fucking space scrubs?
	You draw Joe Biden 10 years ago, man.
	He's going to look different.
	You'd be like, I don't fucking recognize that guy.
	The earlobes are different.
	I'm a clone.
	My presidential photograph to hang him.
	Please choose me.
	I'd be honest.
	By the way, I may call you.
	Yes.
	I'll text you.
	Dude.
	He's exactly like a man in an old folks' home.
	In an old folks' home.
	You emphasize the old in that.
	Hey, Liz, like you're giant.
	God bless.
	Well, I'll tell you what.
	Hey, God bless you.
	Thank you so much.
	I don't know if that's the same guy.
	I believe this conspiracy.
	Okay, well, you're retarded.
	People age.
	He is not a clone.
	What do you think he is?
	A robot?
	Or do you think they have random dudes get plastic surgery?
	If they were going to do that, then they'd get a smart guy who can remember the lies and not say things like, I can't believe I'm in prison.
	What am I even doing here?
	Okay, I think it's time for the mailbag.
	Long episode.
	Yes.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Ryan's impersonation of Gavin.
	Hi, Gavin.
	Ryan's president's day.
	That was yesterday.
	Was pretty spot on.
	I had to verify it was Ryan, but couldn't see the gay Barbie doll shoes he wears.
	His heir was calling the lucky Ericsson half Scandinavian and half Viking.
	Leif was Icelandic Norse of Norwegian descent.
	His father was Eric the Red, Thorvaldsson of Norway.
	Tell Ryan a person can't be half Viking as it's not an ethnicity.
	Vikings are seafaring marauders, pirates, conquerors who were called Vikings for going on Vikings' conquests.
	Similar to the Irish pirates being called Scotty by the Romans, this is believed to be where Northern Britain got the name Scotland from.
	Diorida and Argyle had been heavily settled by Gaelic people from Ireland.
	They were also what the Romans called Picti, painted people.
	Yes, before there were Scots, there was guys with big mustaches covered in tattoos living up there that looked exactly like me.
	But I called him half Scandinavian.
	I said half Icelandic and half, I guess I did say half Viking.
	But he was Norwegian and Icelandic.
	Okay.
	So this gentleman is calling me stupid and using that as a Ryan insult.
	So he's insulting both of us at the same time, Ryan.
	Nice, one fell swoop.
	Here's another one for you and Detective Shitty.
	What would you lads say the chances of this being a juicy smoolet situation?
	Very high.
	Black woman receives terrifying letters saying she and family will be executed.
	Dr. Shola Mos Shogbamimu often campaigns about issues surrounding race, women's rights, diversity.
	You don't say.
	Weird.
	I really don't see her often talking about railroad cars and how hundreds of them are sitting in very crucial agricultural land for no reason.
	So they show her letter here, and let's just apply our bullshit detector on it.
	Because my personal hunch is more than 90% of the time you hear about these cases, they turn out to be bullshit.
	So this is National Action London sell.
	We are watching you.
	Shola, you are a constant troublemaker and liar who appears on television frequently.
	Now, first of all, I don't know if you're familiar with murderers, but they tend not to announce their imminent murder.
	Tony Soprano doesn't go, all right, let's get a fucking letter written.
	It's a very difficult situation.
	We're going to write them a letter.
	Where's my stationery?
	My fountain pens had a fucking ink.
	From the desk of Tony Soprano.
	You're about to get whacked.
	So the letter itself is evidence that this isn't a thing.
	If you were even just trying to scare her, you would just send a letter that said, die, bitch.
	This is the letters I get all the time.
	It has a Nazi symbol crossed out or it calls me a Nazi.
	It never says, I'm going to die.
	I did get a text once that said, look out your window, Fashy.
	That was scary.
	I thought I was going to have to kill an Antifa guy.
	The other giveaway here is that it's riddled with compliments.
	Troublemaker is a compliment, right?
	It means that you're stirring up the shit.
	Also, who appears on television frequently?
	Yeah, no.
	And then she realizes that's too nice.
	So she adds, you make a shabby living from criticizing and race grifting against ethnic white Europeans and our culture.
	We have placed you on our kill list.
	Pull it back up.
	And intend to kill you, your children, and your husband.
	You've gone too far, and it's now time for you to pay the price.
	You are a filthy, ugly, ugly, troublemaking nigger.
	Again with the troublemaker.
	You look like a gorilla and probably smell just like one.
	What is that thing on your head?
	It looks like a turd, a big lump of shit.
	That seems kind of real, actually, that part.
	You are somebody who should never be allowed to breathe our air and take up space in our country.
	You're a dreg of the multicultural society.
	Filthy, ugly African black monkey, a living Yoruba, I don't know what that is, monkey, who lives in a nice house.
	That's another problem here.
	Who lives in a nice house with a nice big garden.
	This goes back to appears on television frequently.
	There's no compliments in death threats.
	We are watching you.
	We have followed you around.
	We know your movements.
	This in a serious notice from National Action London.
	We are notifying you of our intention to kill you and your family.
	You already made that clear.
	We do not consider this to be murder, blah, blah, blah.
	You've been followed into this.
	Like, what an obvious grift.
	Oh, Yoruba are like a type of tribe.
	Oh, so that National Action London, this fascist white nationalist group, is well versed On the various African tribes.
	How did he know that?
	How much would you bet, though?
	That's the real.
	Let's put our money where our mouth is.
	Imagine Letter was like, you probably fake letters, you fucking pitch.
	Like it calls out what she's doing as she's doing it.
	What else about me?
	It's hard to say because we both own different amounts of money.
	But let's say we are unmarried, no kids.
	We have $300,000 in the bank, and we are 31 years old.
	How much would you bet, considering those conditions?
	And we're employed.
	How much would we bet of our 300 grand?
	Since I consider this still gambling, even though I think it's a good bet, I'd only put like maybe 40 grand tops.
	Tops, tops.
	That's a lot of 300 grand.
	It is a lot.
	It is a lot.
	It's so tempting to just make 300 grand and say put all on black.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm going to go with.
	I think.
	Oh, you're going to kick yourself, too, if you.
	I'm going to pull it all on red because I read that bullshit.
	I'm going to go.
	I think I'm going to match you basically.
	I'm going to go with 50 grand.
	Then you're talking to National Action London.
	Why the fuck?
	You lost the money, 50 grand.
	Why the fuck did you compliment her house?
	And what's with the lots of television appearances and knowing her tribe?
	How'd you know her fucking tribe, dude?
	I just lost 50 grand.
	White moron, what the fuck, this says?
	Oh, and it's this old shit.
	This happens in Brooklyn on a daily basis almost.
	Black Hebrew Israelites see white liberals and they demand that they kiss their boots.
	This goes back to what I was saying earlier about the black monarch.
	That might be the name of this.
	This is the Lord's work right here.
	And this is a good white woman, man.
	She's showing her deeds, man, to the Lord, man.
	That'd be funny if they rubbed LSD on their toes before they did that.
	I've seen that multiple times.
	And these guys openly despise white people, laugh at the Holocaust, and promote a violent black revolution where white people are murdered in their beds dead.
	And we literally kiss their feet.
	Amazing.
	Nike flagship Northeast Portland.
	That's the Good Times neighborhood.
	Community store wants police funded.
	Nike asked to hire or fund police in order to reopen Portland Community Store.
	They say that that wouldn't help because the city already has funding from officers.
	The problem is wait time to get them certified.
	It's all that damn training.
	Remember, we had to train them more?
	Police need better training.
	Okay, well, that's going to take a bit.
	Well, we need them now, actually.
	Ever since firing them, everything's getting robbed.
	This one's called 51,000 After College.
	Gavin, you are wrong.
	College helps with salary.
	The career landscape is a lot broader than that big brain thinks it is, which is weird since you have so much experience being a college graduate.
	I can't tell what that sarcasm means.
	I have been a college graduate since 1991.
	That's a lot of time.
	What's that?
	30 years?
	He also says, alphas who call themselves alphas are faggots.
	It's the new I'm such an asshole.
	A lot of mean letters today, hurting my feelings.
	They have hurt me today.
	This one's called, come on, man.
	And it's a great cartoon by that G-Prime dude.
	People saying help.
	They need water.
	Decrepit Biden ignoring them.
	And then they put a Ukrainian flag on top and he runs over with money.
	With the money he's sending to Ukraine, he's talking about Ukrainian politicians' pensions being covered by this money.
	What the fuck?
	Okay, we got to wrap it up soon.
	Gav, you seen this pic going around?
	The comfort of the first world is made by the enslavement of the third world.
	Sad but true.
	Each Karen owns five slaves.
	Uhuru.
	Yeah, this picture's pretty old.
	I don't like that it's a white dude getting served by all of these minorities because at first glance you think it's America.
	But it is true that the Western world, the Western liberal world, is powered by third world exploitation.
	especially cell phones.
	Hey, Gavin, you ripped off Alice in Chains with that song.
	He's talking about, for those of you who don't subscribe, I re-recorded my 1987 band Anal Chinook songs.
	And one of them is called Anal Chinook.
	I mean, sorry, Acid Rain.
	And this guy says, Alice Chains, I stole an Alice in Chains song.
	Unfortunately, 1987 is before 90s Grunge, so this is a tough sell.
	That's my band.
	Why you act crazy high?
	I don't really hear it.
	God, I fucking hate Allison Chains.
	Early Jane's, late Chains, Peppers and Rage.
	May rule.
	Okay.
	Lastly, we'll just end on these museum things.
	Kind of a fun obsession we've had recently about how museums don't have artifacts anymore and they're just printed out on foam core.
	There's a really cool museum in Hollywood called Museum of Death.
	It's not just serial killer artifacts.
	There's lots of cool stuff in there.
	They have the cabinet Roz Williams hanged himself on, the actual bunk beds the Heavenscape people died in, Kvorkian's suicide machine, and some of Gigi Allen's clothes.
	I'm not sure if you're into seeing that stuff because it's pretty morbid, but you may want to check it out when you do your live show out there.
	They even have a bigger museum in New Orleans, too.
	There's a cool museum in Las Vegas called Zach Bagan's Haunted Museum that has similar stuff.
	Yeah.
	New rule.
	New rule.
	You cannot open a museum without cool, authentic artifacts.
	I don't want to see printouts from the internet.
	Like, that's a real John Wayne Casey painting.
	You can see the texture of it.
	I was thinking about doing that for impressions and stuff, like having a suit that I could just slip on in the front.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	Velcro it.
	Velcro the collar.
	We should probably, because we're on the free episode, explain that we have started a new comedy tour.
	We'll be doing all of Florida.
	We'll be doing a lot of non-woke cities because we tend to get canceled when we go to too near Dem Run cities.
	So I want to do Coeur d'Alene.
	I want to do all of Florida in a van.
	But the first date we found is in LA.
	We'll announce the actual location day of.
	It's about 40 minutes, I'm 20 minutes from downtown.
	And if you could pull up the poster, last year's tour was the Cognitive Dissidence Tour.
	This one is called the End Racism Tour that features handicapped people, me and Anthony and Josh and Ryan, and we're trans and gay and feminist.
	And if you cancel it, you're promoting racism.
	That's what we're going for.
	Have you got it handy or no?
	It's not handy, but I can pull it up.
	Should be handy.
	It's the pinned tweet on my getter.
	Oh, if that makes any sense.
	Where were you searching?
	Our text.
	Okay.
	It's in there.
	But if it's pinned, then here we can.
	The end racism tour.
	Isn't that beautiful?
	You want to cancel a handicap person?
	Go ahead.
	I wish you nothing but the best.
	Alright, let's get to the final vid.
	I'm on holiday now.
	Pretty nice.
	I'm not going to work again for seven days.
	Tomorrow is Compound Censored, but I won't be there.
	It's just going to be Ant.
	And don't worry, we've pre-recorded episodes.
	This Thursday and Friday, we watch the show You People.
	Then Monday is War on Kids.
	Tuesday is Ladies' Day.
	And then Wednesday of the following week, I'm back.
	What would you do if this happened in your house, Ryan?
	You see a snake coming through the ceiling.
	This one's kind of old.
	You've probably seen it before, but...
	You just poke at it and...
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
	Boy, the third world really sucks, doesn't it?
	I don't think I might.
	I don't dislike snakes that much.
	Oh, so you just leave it there.
	Maybe let them stay.
	I'd like to get them removed.
	I wouldn't be yelling.
	I'd be like, come on, man.
	That's what you do if two giant, whatever those are, boa constrictors, pythons.
	They got to be boas.
	That big, right?
	I don't know.
	I don't know shit about snakes.
	They're evil.
	I hate their guts.
	All right, folks.
	So that's the free episode.
	The next free episode will be March 3rd.
	And the next live show will be with the Cops and Robber will be March 2nd.
	And if you're in Port St. Lucie and you want to see the Mets, let me know.
	I'll say that's nice.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I wanna see you.
	I really do.

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