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Feb. 3, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:12:55

GOML LIVE #181 - SHITTY COPS

The cops and the robber go through various pursuit videos and lament the lack of talented criminals these days. The gang also tries to figure out what percentage of cops are just assholes who were bullied in high school.

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	New York, it's Get Off My Lawn it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	You can see it.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
	That was Demon something 13.
	What are they called?
	Demon System 13.
	Demon System 13, an old hardcore band from Sweden from the 90s that are back.
	They're back and they old as hell!
	30 years plus.
	Yeah.
	That's basically my entire life is 95 till now.
	Before that, you know, you're basically a fag when you're 20.
	Right?
	We're all agreed on that?
	Yep.
	Yeah, I guess.
	Yeah.
	You're coming into yourself.
	When you're 20, you will do whatever a girl tells you to do.
	Including grow dreads.
	You grew dreads?
	I did have dreads at the age of 20, yeah.
	That's very gay.
	And learn French.
	You'll do anything to get laid.
	What?
	You'll do anything to get laid when you're 20.
	Anything.
	Anything.
	Absolutely.
	Maybe even murder.
	8 to 80, blind, crippled, or crazy.
	Welcome back, The Cop Panel.
	We've got Neil and Tim and John.
	Didn't have Neil last week, but we had him before.
	So, I'm worried about next week, though.
	Why's that?
	Because John and Tim are going to be waiting.
	Neil, will you join us?
	I should be able to be on scene.
	Good.
	Fingers crossed.
	You know what I was thinking about, buddy?
	What about Izzy?
	We could talk to him.
	He might do it.
	Yeah, he was a cop in the Bronx.
	Izzy?
	Oh.
	Oh, he was.
	He's a black dude who was a cop in the Bronx, but he quit after his nephew got killed by cops.
	And his nephew was a cop.
	His nephew was also fucking wasted waving a gun around and they told him to put it down and he didn't listen and Is that the guy in on Webster Avenue at the?
	No, not the strip club it was a we get those murder burgers at a three white castle Murder burgers.
	Yeah, or belly bombers What maybe I went this would probably be like 10 years ago, but I'll find out oh He's a good guy.
	Yeah, don't wave guns at cops.
	That's always been my number one rule.
	No, I think there was a guy down there intoxicated, drinking some beers, hanging out.
	Black guy.
	Cop.
	I thought he was Spanish.
	Yeah, I think he's Afro...
	And I know the cop that shot him, a guy named Freddy Torres, a real nice guy.
	And it really shook him up a lot.
	That was in the 4-6 Precinct, right by the Webster and the Cross Bronx.
	I remember that now.
	That sounds like the right story.
	Yeah, who made me talk about the same person?
	Because Izzy tried to get his brother to talk to that dude, the cop who shot him, and he's like, I don't want to fucking talk to that guy.
	Yeah, Freddy was real shook up about that.
	He was a great cop.
	He still is.
	Oh, he still is.
	He's retired now, so.
	He's not retarded.
	He's a fucking genius.
	You're retarded.
	Fuck you.
	So welcome back to the panel and welcome back our co-host, Matty O'Dell.
	Hold on, everybody.
	Good to see you.
	Good to be seen.
	And I've never done this before, but how do you not welcome back Ryan Rivera over here?
	Detective Shitty.
	I appreciate it.
	Sorry you're back.
	I wish you weren't back.
	I don't know how to undo that.
	Do we pay him to go away?
	And if you want to know why, it might be because you have the hair of a fucking sheepdog in a cartoon.
	I guess the term is cartoon sheepdog.
	Yeah.
	Judge me not by my hair, but my style.
	Of course you judge someone by their hair.
	If there's one thing you're in control of, it's your fucking hair.
	Not if you're going bald.
	That's true.
	True.
	That's true.
	But you have ways to deal with that.
	That's a good point.
	Rogaine, baby.
	I would know.
	Like what's his name?
	Jamie Siskin?
	Is that his name?
	Jamie Raskin?
	Raskin.
	We always made fun of him.
	He has the ugliest hair in the history of politics and now God gave him cancer just out of pure being annoyed.
	Does he really have cancer?
	Yeah.
	Oh man, poor guy.
	Hey, don't shoot the message.
	He must have done something bad.
	Yeah, God gave him cancer because of his fucking hair.
	So now he's a hat guy?
	So now he wears a fortune teller hat.
	Holy shit.
	Like what are you doing?
	Just embrace it.
	Just shave your head.
	Why are you wearing a little pirate hat?
	Call me now.
	Is he Miss Cleo now?
	He's doing your fortunes?
	Miss Cleo.
	Don't put him next to Little Steve.
	At least that fits.
	Like Jamie Raskin's fucking thing, it just looks like a Russian woman doing some housework.
	Even that hat looks like a... It's a babushka.
	He's an absolute retard.
	He was big.
	Look at his fucking hair.
	Well, rest in peace hair.
	I mean, how many messages did God have to send?
	His son killed himself.
	He's got cancer.
	We can't make this clear.
	Okay, I didn't like that joke.
	Yeah, that's making me like him.
	You know, I've started to turn around on, uh, what's a big old retard guy?
	Fetterman.
	John's right here, Ryan.
	Fetterman.
	I just feel bad.
	Like, every time I see him, I'm like, I think he's a nice guy way over his head.
	Eagles!
	He doesn't seem evil.
	The Eagles are much better than the Eagles!
	Did anybody see, it was just after the football games over the weekend.
	And he was trying to make a statement regarding football teams?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Don't you watch the show?
	Yeah, I think I believe I sent that to you.
	Yes.
	He goes, you know, in high school when you're on the football team and it's like a camp when you're on the team and you're playing football.
	And nobody wants to be here!
	And then he ends it.
	He doesn't end anything.
	It just goes crazy.
	And you can see people in the background going, I fucking voted for an extra from the Adams family.
	Capacity to handle talking at a football game.
	Dude, he makes Joe Biden look like Joe's got it going on.
	Oh, he's in a lot of hot water.
	They're saying today.
	Fetterman's got a TBI.
	He definitely suffered some brain injury.
	He had a stroke.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Yeah.
	If, I say this about Biden and him, if they were at my local bar and I was talking to them, I would feel like an awesome person.
	Like I'm a good guy.
	They might be good more than Hank Johnson.
	Yeah.
	And other people would be like, what's Gavin doing?
	I'd be like, uh, I'm doing the shit that you don't do.
	Cause I care about our fellow man.
	And I'm a good person.
	You go have fun with your friends, having interesting conversations.
	I'm going to be over here with the handicapped, helping them to learn.
	That's right.
	Like remember that dude John who would come in to our bar and he had a stroke and he'd always have spit coming out of his face and his whole, his shirt would be drenched.
	He would try to drink a beer and it would just be all over him.
	Terrible.
	He was a smart dude.
	Yeah, but you're not the same person.
	Unfortunately.
	I mean not to make fun of him, he would literally, he would try to, he would grab like his mug of beer and The beer would be empty.
	It would be gone.
	Before you got a sip of it.
	You'd be like, what are you doing?
	But then you'd put on the pictures.
	Get a shoe off of him.
	On the jukebox, and you'd go, yeah they... It's sad.
	They broke apart because of the heroin.
	You know, the Kim Deal and the girls, what, the Breeders, they just did so much smack, they ruined the band.
	That's why the final tour, they had different green rooms.
	And you're like, wow, you know about indie rock, and you're a retard.
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	You know, you're constantly cold.
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	You drink tons of coffee in the morning and pre-workout.
	You go work out.
	You're shaking.
	You're like fucking Mr. Burns.
	You're not doing anything, but you're there.
	Then at lunch and breakfast, you have so many jalapenos that you're crying at lunch.
	Like it hurts your face, you're coughing, you're wheezing, because you're murdering your mouth.
	Then when you go home that night, you drink basic, not bourbon until you're like puking, but you drink bourbon until you're tired at eight.
	And then you pass out and sleep it off.
	Done, not sick anymore.
	That works.
	The physics of it is, the pre-workout is like taking speed.
	You fast forward your illness.
	And then the bourbon and the jalapenos, they like bleach the inside of your body.
	And no bacteria can survive.
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	Meth?
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	Can they send us some?
	I want to try this.
	Me too.
	You know what I've noticed about pre-workout and a coffee?
	And you get fucking paranoid.
	Like, I was driving, I think, to White Plains or something, and I thought everyone was out to get me, and then there's some Jew in a Yamica smoking in his car, and I'm like, is he trying to, like, drive next to me?
	And then when we get stopped at a light, he spits out his window.
	And I'm like, is that a gesture?
	Do you think I'm a Nazi?
	What?
	And they're like, no, I was just overly caffeinated.
	Yeah, I just listened to a Shane Gillis story where he drank like nine cups of coffee that day and then he wanted, he was like suicidal essentially.
	He was like, I suck at comedy, I hate comedy, I don't want to.
	Makes you overthink.
	I didn't think that that could happen and then I'm starting to look back at my life and when I've had one too many cups of coffee.
	Well, I went home to have sex with my wife the other day, and she was in the shower after hot yoga, which is like... Ladies, I don't know how to break this to you.
	Yoga is just stretching.
	Hot yoga is just stretching and sweating.
	You're not exercising.
	Let me tell you something.
	I don't know about that.
	I took a yoga class in prison, and it's probably the most terrible, horrible... There was a room full of guys, and the yoga instructor comes from outside to do it.
	It's called a sausage party.
	It was as if we were in 150 degrees and ran an hour.
	Yeah, it should be- You're fighting like pigs!
	I like that as a taxpayer, I like that you guys are being punished.
	But I don't think it does- I think they should do it to shoplifters too.
	Don't have a trial or anything, just make them do yoga.
	Torture them with yoga in the store.
	And then let them go.
	But it's not a real thing, ladies.
	I don't know, Sting does yoga.
	I remember seeing an interview with him and he fucking ripped.
	Who does?
	Sting.
	The singer.
	Sting and the police.
	Is that what we're going for?
	That's our ideal?
	Sting?
	I'm just, that's one, you know, I don't know.
	Wait a minute, do you like Sting?
	He's police, of course you do.
	No pun intended, that's why I like him.
	No offense, but fuck the police.
	I hate Sting.
	The band?
	Fuck the police's boss, aka Sting.
	No, but don't you feel like when you're, it's like talk radio and it's commercial so you go to the oldies and there's certain fucking things.
	Like Midnight Oil.
	How come we sleep when our beds are burning?
	What do you want me to do?
	Give Australia back to the fucking Abos?
	It would be burnt to the ground overnight so I'm not listening to that song.
	And then Sting, The Police.
	Fucking Raxxon!
	Fuck that.
	The doors, the eagles.
	Anything else is cool.
	Just the doors, the eagles?
	Midnight oil?
	Yeah.
	Led Zeppelin?
	I don't know.
	There is no expiration date on Led Zeppelin.
	You could hear Joy and What Fool in the Rain.
	They do have a couple hits.
	Right now.
	They do not age.
	Jimi Hendrix, can't get bored of it.
	I think Jimmy Page had an expiration date.
	I think it was 15 years old.
	What about that guy, Nopiup?
	Who?
	Nopiup?
	Oh yeah.
	He's another classic.
	It's true.
	Who?
	Nopiup.
	Nopiup.
	Oh yes.
	And Bob Marley though, I remember someone was playing like, no woman!
	My buddy Matt leans over and he goes, you know what?
	I'm good for this lifetime with Bob Marley.
	We got it.
	We're done.
	We're topped to the brim with Bob.
	All right, let's get, so you know how this goes.
	We take calls, we read letters, we got the super chat up on the wall.
	It's free!
	We try to get behind the paywall.
	Our goal is in the first half hour.
	It usually doesn't happen till two hours.
	This show is meant to advertise Get Off My Lawn, which makes no sense because Get Off My Lawn is nothing like this show.
	There's nothing like this show on the network.
	You'll never hear this again.
	I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
	How come Ryan knows 10 times of what Gavin knows about rock and roll and is 20 years younger?
	Well, that's a great point if you have shitty taste in music.
	He knows a lot about Yngwie Malmsteen and Steve Vai and Tool.
	Yngwie.
	And... I think it's Yngwie.
	I don't like Tool.
	Whoa!
	Matty does.
	Tool?
	I love Tool.
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	I don't approve.
	Tool, Perfect Circle.
	The Fabric or the band?
	Gavin, come to Kansas City you buttfucker.
	I'm a truck driver and regarding Kansas, my home state, it's the same all over basically in America.
	It's good rural people and shitty city people.
	I think I took that guy's call.
	I don't understand Kansas City.
	There's two right next to each other.
	Across the river.
	Whose idea was that?
	Probably Frank Kansas.
	Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, Kansas.
	If my wife dies, I will go through a period of mourning.
	About a week.
	What's the shortest period of mourning you could possibly do?
	About a week.
	I would say a month.
	A month?
	That's the shortest?
	she got to the prison, you're gonna hit that.
	If my wife dies, I will go through a period of mourning. - About a week. - What's the normal, what's the shortest period of mourning you could possibly do?
	- A month.
	- About a week.
	- I would say a month.
	- A month?
	- That's the shortest?
	- Here's the thing too.
	There's a period of mourning of like a year of being the strong silent type.
	If you ugly cry hysterically every day all day... You're right, yeah.
	You can get a year out in like... 72 hours?
	A fortnight.
	That's true.
	Two weeks of... And then your kids and everyone around you is like, try to find some kind of a girlfriend.
	I don't know.
	You're hysterical.
	You're like, okay, maybe I'll try that fucking porn star who just got out of jail.
	Maybe.
	What else is up there?
	The Super Chats?
	That was it.
	The next one was the last one we had read last week.
	So that's how you do that, guys.
	We don't walk you through it.
	That's a shame on me.
	So what you would do is you go to the site on desktop and you look for this banner here live.
	We can clip live stream right there on the top left.
	So when you do that, you'll see our beautiful mugs and you scroll down and there's a button here.
	I don't know.
	Fuck it.
	Figure it out.
	I kind of lost energy.
	Yeah, I'm over it.
	You got too cool for that explanation.
	I don't even care if they do.
	Now, our new development here, we got rid of the weird doctor from Futurama and now we have cops on one panel and a criminal on the other panel.
	Guys, I think this is an opportunity for you to look over at this criminal as sort of the personification of all the perps you ever apprehended and just sort of say, I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry for what I've done.
	Me?
	No, they could apologize to you.
	I'm sorry I didn't catch you sooner.
	That would have been a good one back in the day.
	And Matty, I think you can explain to these guys, why wouldn't you put your fucking hands behind your back?
	Put your hands behind your back.
	Every video I see, they have one hand and they won't give them the other fucking hand.
	I've been in that situation.
	Did you put your hands behind your back?
	Not willingly.
	No sir.
	What is it?
	I don't know why though.
	Yeah we talked about it a lot the couple weeks ago.
	The inevitable doom.
	One time my brother, my brother was a cop, my older brother, so I get arrested in the town he's working in.
	So, in my jacket, you know, it says, you know, I'm combative towards cops, and so they put me, they put me in a side case.
	It's not like a cell, it's plastic cells.
	So if I don't, I can't throw anything at them or anything like that, because I'm known to assault officers.
	So, they made a mistake.
	You're only supposed to get one t-shirt when you're in the home.
	So I had on a long john shirt and a white t-shirt over it, so they missed it.
	So these two cops come up and they're like, Matty, you gotta give us one of the shirts.
	I'm like, fuck you guys, ain't happening.
	Ain't fuckin' happenin'.
	But on the side of the police, I say, why?
	Like, what are you gaining from that?
	So they can say I'm using a weapon I can fashion to hang myself or anything like that.
	Right, so give them the shirt.
	Fuck that.
	But they're gonna take it.
	Why are you saying fuck that?
	No, it's better!
	So I'm like, fuck you.
	I'm not giving it up.
	You guys didn't do your fucking job.
	You deal with it.
	So then of course, you know, they have to come and get it.
	Too bad you didn't hang yourself.
	They cracked the door.
	So they found the electric door.
	So I just put my back against the wall.
	And one guy walks on this side of me.
	And one guy grabs this side of me.
	So I know it's coming.
	Because I stiffen up.
	I take my aggressive posture.
	And they grab me on this side.
	So this guy goes for his pepper spray.
	So I just duck and he pepper sprays his partner.
	Now all three of us are fighting innocents.
	I eventually beat the shit out of him, he stripped me naked.
	So now, in the morning... Yeah, that's what we're screaming!
	So now in the morning... We're like, why take that route?
	My brother... Who would want to see you naked to begin with?
	My brother gets on the ship, comes to the cell, and he's like... He goes, what the fuck is wrong with you?
	Yes!
	I said, just do me a favor, give me a Gatorade, I'll be happy.
	So he goes, well the fucking girl doesn't want to process you, do your fingerprints.
	She's scared of you.
	I was like, alright, I won't do anything, I promise.
	So you're lying there nude, drenched in orange pepper spray, with a Gatorade in your hand.
	So I ended up being butt naked, pepper sprayed.
	It was a nightmare.
	But I was a retard.
	Ah, okay.
	That's the answer.
	I did get a cold Gatorade, though.
	So the reason you lost your lesson is because you're a retard.
	Is it a respect thing, though?
	Like, if you had respect for one of those guys, if you had a rapport with one of them, you would have been okay with it?
	Yeah.
	That's what I always found.
	If you had some sort of rapport.
	I work with anybody.
	There was people that despised me for who my brother was, and people who, like, I grew up in the town.
	I'm like, why become a cop when you grew up?
	No, I agree with you.
	If you treat them up like shit, they're gonna treat you back like shit.
	If you treat them like a man, they'll, you know... If you come to me the wrong way, it's gonna go south fast.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	We called those guys the LMV's, Lunch Money Victims.
	The guys that went on the job just to have a little bit of power.
	They got beat up in high school.
	We have a friend in common and he would empower my bike all the time.
	He would do all sorts of shit.
	Never once did I ever come at him.
	Because he was always like, hey Matty.
	And I was like, what do you want now?
	And now what do you want?
	Because he never got me with anything.
	Ticket, speeding ticket.
	But you say, why become a cop in your hometown?
	I don't know.
	You went to jail for 10 years.
	You know too many people.
	He's got a pension, and he's doing great.
	Well, yeah.
	Well, he's smart.
	I'm not.
	Different path.
	Do the baby monsters know that Matty comes from a family of cops?
	Yeah, I've said it.
	Yeah, like a lot of cops.
	Like federal law enforcement, regular law enforcement.
	You're the only one who didn't become either military or paid.
	Yeah.
	It's what it is.
	Your family's got a black sheep.
	Tim, you look like you've recently discovered this.
	Like you did some Googling.
	I don't know if you want his brother.
	I'm very impressed by his younger brother.
	Yeah, we'll leave that one.
	Yeah.
	His younger brother's pretty hot at cheating.
	That must be great when you're leaving your shift.
	What happened on the shift?
	Oh, by the way, I beat the cock out of your brother.
	He's laying there.
	Go get him a Gatorade.
	He'll be better.
	That might have been having to do with all the alcohol I drank prior to that.
	Is there a thing with cops where there's a hierarchy?
	Like say a guy who was in the South Bronx his whole career like during Dinkins years meets a guy who was in like Westchester his whole career Is there like a strange sort of a pecking order where it's like... Yeah, the guy that was in the South Bronx is jealous of the guy that was in Westchester.
	There's attitudes, yeah.
	But yeah, you know, that's a good segue into, you know, you talk a lot about these shitty cops that you see standing on a street corner, maybe a fucking Puerto Rican chick that's wider than she is tall.
	Right.
	I think with the NYPD, John can probably I agree with this.
	A lot of the pride and your hard chargers and your really squared away dudes are in like the specialized units, right?
	Yeah.
	Street crime, the snooze units, the anti-crime units.
	But you want to know something?
	You got to do what you love and love what you do.
	I don't think I'd want to work with like Barney Fite up in certain towns up in Westchester.
	Like Yonkers or something like that, a big town with some action.
	But if you're sitting there doing nothing all day, basically what they're doing is DWIs.
	Yeah.
	That's what they're doing.
	They're not answering anything.
	Saving lives, John.
	Okay.
	As long as they're not out tonight.
	Because I've got to drive upstate.
	What percentage of cops are shitheads?
	It's like you said earlier, you get these guys, they went to high school, they never got the... Yeah, I think we'll lose this.
	When I say shitheads, I mean these guys that bust someone for a joint and then rough them up.
	To me, it's 5%.
	Yeah.
	Max.
	5% you said?
	Yeah.
	I would agree with that.
	And then there's another segment that are just do-nothings.
	Right.
	And slugs and are just in it for money and don't care.
	And then there's the cowboys who want to go out on the fucking rock.
	That's right.
	I mean that's why a lot of the guys back in the day came on the job is to do that.
	They want to make a difference.
	Yeah.
	It's just fun too.
	I mean, you know, you want to get out there and kick some ass.
	Kick ass and take names.
	It was a challenge.
	We used to, you know, when we came on shift, we'd go out.
	It's competitive.
	You know, we'd hit the road and see who could come in with the most product.
	You know, we'd make kind of a competition out of it.
	How dissatisfied were you guys with, like, the SOPs of actually being a cop and all the paperwork and all the back-end shit that... What does SOP mean?
	Ridiculous.
	What's SOP?
	Standard Operations Procedures.
	Oh, the paperwork.
	Every department has SOPs.
	Well, you gotta do, you know, you gotta fingerprint them, you gotta do online booking.
	Everything's gotta be done, all the checks, boxes gotta be ticked off.
	Then you gotta deal like assholes.
	You gotta arraign them, you gotta get a judge to arraign them.
	I mean, it's a little different in the city.
	I mean, but pretty much going through central booking.
	I would love to see what some of these officers' reports look like.
	Before they give it to the person that re-writes it.
	Well, we did all our court paperwork.
	When I was a city cop, we didn't write our information.
	We had to sit down at DA, we had to tell them our story, and they would write it up.
	And then they'd bring it to arraignment when they either cut them loose or keep them.
	As troopers, we would write our own information.
	And you're right, they probably rewrote them before they went before a judge.
	Some of these ones in the city?
	You get good at it, though, after a while.
	If you had city cops to write shit up, they couldn't write nothing.
	Yeah, that's more the line I was leaning.
	They'd have to get crayons.
	Like that little short one that's wider than she is tall?
	Seems like every police station now has these Puerto Rican chicks with these insane bowling ball asses who just fill out paperwork.
	There's only one bowling ball.
	They're all like five feet tall.
	You know what?
	Someone's made a point too.
	You see them out in public.
	You see them standing on a street corner.
	Maybe it's a detail.
	If you have to supply, if you're the CEO of a command and you've got to send a couple of your officers down to a detail that's going on, you're not going to send your best guys.
	You're going to send your fucking slugs that don't do anything.
	So you're not going to see your best guys at, you know, maybe working New Year's Eve.
	Yeah, they sit around playing the statue.
	We dealt with that when Al Sharpton, when they had riots.
	One time we were out by JFK, we were out in Queens during the Howard Beach incident by the pizzeria where they chased that guy.
	Yeah, chased him on the highway.
	So what happened?
	Crowd is coming down, and of course the captain, he pulls all the tall guys to the front.
	That was what, 86, 87?
	And as we go to the front, one thing is, if you have the barrier there, you don't want to stand in front of the barrier, you want to stand about a foot away.
	Because if you put your feet there, they'll come by and they'll stomp on your feet.
	And then your first reaction is to cock them.
	But they pushed all the females in the rear, which was unfortunate.
	That's how it was back then.
	Well, that's our job.
	We called it the Goon Squad.
	The Goon Squad guys would be up front as kind of a show of force.
	There should be no females in the rear or in the front or even there.
	Why are they even there?
	Like I said earlier, I worked with a lot of great female cops that were stand-up people.
	Could they beat you up?
	There's a few of them.
	The one saved his life.
	Could they put you on their shoulder and run?
	I would, I mean to be honest.
	She could shoot you.
	I'd like to be on somebody's shoulders but facing the other way.
	I would say if they're on the job, they should all, and same with the army, I was in the army, same experience, same opinion, they should have to perform the same standards physically that the guys do.
	Have one standard, everybody performs the same standard.
	Sounds logical to me.
	You know what I mean?
	And by the way, that logic applied to western civilization from the year Greek guys in fucking togas till like an hour ago.
	And it's only recently we went, no, no, no, no.
	Marines can be four foot tall black girls who can't even hold their own fucking body weight.
	No wonder Putin wants to rock the world.
	I would too if I was him.
	Let's take advantage.
	I was talking to a cop around the corner from here, and I think our cameras in the parking lot may have caught a murderer walking home.
	And I said to him, why are you, like, why bother?
	They don't give a shit about each other.
	Like, it's not like they're going, I hope you catch that guy.
	They don't give a fuck.
	They're all murdering their ops.
	And he goes, no, I don't give a shit about him.
	I just, uh, I want to make sure I get him off the street because if he gets a revenge killing, then I have twice the paperwork.
	So I'm trying to keep my paperwork down to half by getting this guy in jail and off the streets.
	And I don't blame cops for having that attitude these days.
	That's what we've demanded of them.
	Don't work.
	Suck shit.
	Do nothing, help nobody.
	Yeah.
	Collect a paycheck.
	If you're going to do that, then don't go on a job.
	Go be a postal worker.
	But there's no choice!
	If you go out there and you're a cowboy, you get sued, there's a riot, you lose your pension.
	Look at Derek Chauvin.
	Chauvin.
	25 years he's got?
	Yeah, it's fucked up.
	He just appealed his conviction, by the way.
	Is that the guy from Ferguson?
	Really?
	Yeah, that's the George Floyd guy.
	George Floyd.
	I think he'll win that, too.
	Yeah, you said that last time you were here.
	Yeah, a lot of things get overturned when it's not in the headlines.
	Right now, I see it happen.
	The police world has flipped instead of being proactive, and it's all firehouse rules now.
	It's like, they're not doing anything unless you call me, type thing.
	There's not guys out there tossing cars like there used to be.
	No, they're not allowed.
	That don't preempted strikes basically used to go around tossing people trying to get guns off the street, but now you wait Somebody gets shot, and you know they're running away with the gun.
	and you're like, "Oh, I got a head twirling, he is a gun." - That was Julián, implemented all that, it stopped the frisk. - Yeah, now when you find a gun, you go, "Fuck, "what do I do now?" I gotta fill out some paperwork, get sued.
	Let's look at some clips here.
	Here's a woman who's ready to fight some cops over some extra cheese.
	Good cheese?
	What kind of cheese?
	I'm gonna guess American cheese.
	I don't want to sound unpatriotic.
	I fucking hate American cheese.
	I don't know why it exists.
	It's not cheese.
	We got them in the Bronx.
	Plastic.
	Growing up as a kid, we'd get the five pounds of cheese.
	It was great.
	You get the Boar's Head American cheese.
	It's delicious.
	American cheese?
	Yeah, like it white.
	The plastic shit.
	No, you're talking about the stuff in the... Craft Slices stuff.
	No, that's caca.
	Poo poo caca doo doo.
	I'm talking about, you buy the Boar's Head brand, it's between the wax paper.
	I like that for Munda Cheese.
	Good quality.
	What if you go to a deli and have them slice off some American cheese for you?
	No, mozzarella and above if I'm gonna get violent.
	Cheddar.
	Just cheddar.
	Cheddar?
	Food's done.
	We've already invented food.
	It's called a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese, medium rare, lettuce and tomato.
	Let's stop now.
	It's like my dad said about the arithmics.
	We've already finished music.
	Stop.
	Right about that, just not to cut you off, but you see that clip right there?
	Yeah.
	That right there is the beginning of it going from shit to diarrhea real fast.
	As soon as he's got his hand on my chest.
	The cop on the left is fuck meter is pecked.
	Fuck that.
	He doesn't give a fuck anymore.
	Oh, see that right there?
	What state is that?
	Why are you showing this?
	Is this the clip I asked you to pull up?
	I think- is it?
	It's a great clip.
	Play it though.
	Oh, I didn't know you didn't see that.
	I'm sorry.
	Oh.
	Tweets from a suspended account.
	So this must be just the reply.
	Oh, poo.
	It's odd that they do that.
	Wait, let me refresh it.
	I'm looking at it on my monitor and I'm like, that's what he's talking about.
	Yeah, it's just gonna go from shit to diarrhea.
	Well, this might be better than the original clip.
	Yeah, it's weird that they keep the comments.
	He's had enough.
	The United States?
	Nowadays in the United States, it seems as though criminals have more rights than law-abiding citizens.
	Take Brazil, for example.
	Oh, that's Brazil.
	Oh, Brazil.
	They're gonna shoot him dead.
	So they do that in Brazil, too.
	They're gonna shoot him dead.
	No, he's just not saying that.
	Get out of here.
	And now he's calling him a racist.
	And then you can- So they do that in Brazil, too.
	Oh, nice shot.
	He looks like a New York State, too.
	They're in good shape, though.
	Yeah, right?
	That's someone who takes the job seriously.
	He gave him a Larry Bonds look.
	I like that.
	He's drinking way too much Thunderbird.
	- He gave him a Larry Bonds.
	Let's hook. - I guess it's a verbal judo in Brazil. - I like that, he's drinking way too much Thunderbird.
	They saw that down there?
	They have a lot of blacks down there.
	They have... We took in 320,000 slaves.
	They took in 3 million slaves.
	It's also a humongous country.
	And those slaves multiply.
	Let's check out this dude.
	1, 2.
	It's a documentary about a guy who's wasted with a flat tire.
	Yeah, what's up, man?
	Just trying to do some mail.
	Oh, you ain't gonna be able to put no air in there.
	It's cut.
	You won't make it home.
	Sounds like Mitch Hedberg.
	Oh what, hopes and dreams?
	You can't drive today anyway.
	Why not?
	Because he told me you've been drinking.
	Who you gonna call to come get you?
	My daughter.
	Is this your dad?
	No, that's my boyfriend.
	Oh.
	You've been on ****.
	So you just out here at the gas station doing what?
	I was going to get some air.
	I was trying to sober up, but I got behind the wheel again.
	I just know I seen him, so I came over here.
	Look at you.
	Just look at him.
	You want to give him a ride home?
	Hell no.
	I can't win, man.
	Out of nowhere.
	That is my life story.
	How does she see you?
	She live over the hill over there.
	I'm gonna ask you, is there going to be any more strange women that show up?
	No sir.
	Are you sure about that?
	That's the strange one right there.
	That's her.
	You doing alright?
	That's her.
	That's my problem with cops and all these, I mean the show and Live PD and all this, they can't riff.
	You can't joke around because you might ruin the case, right?
	That hurts.
	Because there's so much comedy going on right before your very eyes.
	Change this to a cop background.
	You want to do the cop talk intro?
	I think they know they're being videoed and recorded and they're just careful what they say nowadays.
	Yeah, that's not funny.
	It was a lot funnier when there were no cameras.
	You guys could riff.
	You come from riff eras.
	Right, John?
	Absolutely.
	When did the cameras come out?
	When did the body cams come out?
	I never... Well, Highway One started wearing them.
	They had them in the highway cars, probably in... With the VHS tapes?
	Yeah.
	Mm-hmm.
	Jesus.
	And then they went away, though.
	They didn't last long.
	Now, what's fucked up is, those highway cars, I think it's like with the state polices, when you... They're all...
	They're not VHS, I forget what the word is.
	When you go into Highway 1 or certain areas, it's automatically download.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Axon.
	Yeah.
	All the cops have that now.
	Yeah.
	So it's automatically downloaded, so you can't tell the sergeant, hey, by the way, I fucked up, could you fix this for me?
	No, no, no.
	No, what they do is they put their hand over it and they go, turn it off, and they turn it off, and then it comes back on.
	You can mute it.
	You're allowed to mute.
	If you want to talk with another cop and you don't want it recorded, you can mute.
	The state police started wearing body cams about a year ago.
	That's it?
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Do you think it's better or worse for cops having the body cams?
	At the end of the day, it's better.
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	Silent Witness.
	Well, I guess it's better in court because you can show the entire thing.
	But as far as public opinion goes, they're seeing the worst 20 seconds.
	Well, they're cherry picking the clips that they want to show.
	Right.
	Like Rodney King.
	That was after a massive super chase.
	He had been evading police.
	He was laughing while they tried to tase him.
	And then eventually they had to tune him up.
	But everyone just saw the tune up and that was the end of the fucking world.
	Let's show a clip of some cyclists getting a talking-to from a police officer.
	I'm sorry, Matty, I don't have more clips of criminals being cool.
	It seems like every clip I have here... They don't like to be filmed.
	The bad guys are the bad guys.
	You don't have any home movies, Matty?
	I have nice pictures, like personal collection stuff.
	Evidence.
	Wait, we got the... What are you doing on your phone there, Tim?
	On a television show.
	What a narc.
	Gay porn.
	He scratched his nutsack.
	Imagine you're watching Tucker Carlson and one of the guests was like, well... He's got narcolepsy.
	He's on his phone.
	What's on the screen?
	It's so important.
	It wasn't even on this screen.
	What?
	He's watching himself on the show on his phone.
	I don't believe you.
	I'm trying to help you, Tim.
	And yet, you come down in your pack, you get your herd mentality, and you think you can blow through our city, and then, then, when somebody accidentally honks at you, you give them the finger, and then you call us and say people are being rude to you.
	As a whole, I'm generalizing, of course, I'm not singling any of you out, but you all did bring the stop sign.
	Plain as day, including you.
	Plain as day.
	Someone got a DWR on a bicycle.
	Really?
	In Florida.
	Sounds like that's one of the cops that got beat up in high school.
	Oh yeah, that guy there?
	That's part of the 5%?
	This guy actually ends up being cool.
	Right at the end?
	Yeah.
	You know this clip?
	I've seen it, yeah.
	Watch, listen.
	I think you're a liar.
	Okay?
	A little volume.
	You're a liar.
	Can we just hear the officer on that?
	See, when I get told that... He's gonna get a ticket, everybody else can go.
	Oh, he gave him a ticket for lying.
	That's great.
	You're a liar.
	You hate those cyclists, don't you?
	With all the sponsors on their jerseys.
	Yeah, they look fucking ridiculous.
	Oh, they come up and down a fucking road.
	Who sponsored you?
	Well, maybe it's their favorite cyclist's jersey.
	No, there's logos all over this shit.
	And even if it's not logos that are sponsors, that's the aesthetic.
	The aesthetic comes from professional races, where it says fucking Coca-Cola and everything on it, and then they mimic that.
	I think it's these fucking suburbanites that just have too much money, so when they get a hobby, it can't just be a bike and a helmet and some shit.
	They have to get all the gear.
	And for some weird reason in Westchester, they're like 80% black.
	In Spanish, yes.
	All these fucking black dudes have got all the gear.
	Every Sunday morning.
	And they're in a crowd.
	What is with riding?
	Why are you with 30 people?
	Like I don't get the advantage of that.
	You're on a bicycle ride.
	It's probably a club.
	But why?
	Because they want to be healthy.
	Then go for a bicycle ride!
	They are!
	Just 30 of them!
	Why are you in a group?
	Like, I understand a biker club.
	We're all going to fucking some party together.
	I think they take turns in the front of the pack and it's tougher for the guy in the front of the pack and then everybody drafts behind him and then they sweat.
	It's like they're mimicking the Tour de France.
	Yeah, it's gay.
	It's weird.
	I think the jerks that they wear, they might be like people that they follow, like a Giants jersey or a Jets jersey.
	That's what I was saying.
	When you're on a bike run, everyone goes to the bar afterwards, you're getting all licked up.
	I wonder what these bikers do, is it like a sausage party afterwards?
	They probably go for tofu and get a bunch of Mountain Dew.
	Even, I gotta say, even like two dudes going on a motorcycle ride together, even that, you're sort of like, what are we doing?
	What are you talking about?
	It's the best thing in the world.
	Two guys?
	Yeah.
	You can't have a brotherhood by yourself.
	You can't have a what?
	A brotherhood.
	Two people on a motorcycle ride.
	I've done it a few times and I'm just like, why am I doing this?
	There's always a hierarchy.
	The guy whose idea it was, he's always in the front.
	Why is he in the front?
	Should I go in the front for a bit?
	It's gay!
	No.
	No, it's stupid.
	I think it'd be fun.
	It's exhilarating.
	A motorcycle ride is exhilarating.
	Why are two guys together?
	What, do you pull up next to him when you get some room?
	Hey!
	You pull up next to him and you wink to him.
	Well, maybe you stop at a bunch of bars along the way.
	Yeah, now you're just talking to your comms in your helmet.
	Okay, what are you saying in your comms?
	We should pull over?
	Pretty much.
	And suck each other's dicks?
	I don't listen to anything.
	Like, my buddies I ride with, they got... Is that what you do?
	Everything they listen to?
	I don't listen to anything when I ride.
	I'll ride eight, nine hundred miles a day.
	I assumed you two rode together.
	I'm freaking with him.
	Not more than like... Oh, you went back on a bike?
	From here to like a bar for maybe 10 minutes, but like, do you want to go to the fucking Catskills together?
	Just in the summer, just before Gavin got raided by the FBI.
	I left on a Thursday and I was in Arkansas on Friday night.
	Yeah, I don't have a problem with that.
	And you were with someone, but you were both going to a destination.
	That makes sense.
	But just two dudes going on a motorcycle ride for fun.
	I use it as therapy.
	It clears my head.
	Then go by yourself.
	I do a lot of times, but- It's better when you have two!
	No one's listening to my argument here!
	It seems fun, because when you go somewhere, you go somewhere, right?
	And then you get out for a bit- Okay, when you go somewhere by yourself- I'm not talking about going somewhere!
	I'm talking about two dudes- Wait a second- Just doing like a 30 minute bike ride together, and then getting back home!
	But when you ride, do you get out?
	Do you go to a destination, get out, and then head back?
	Or do you just start riding back?
	Yeah, you might stop for lunch.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Get some lunch together.
	I don't know.
	Different strokes.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	Corn and McGavin, after the 30 minutes, they get out and blow each other.
	Fucking get some lunch together, motherfuckers.
	Yeah.
	That's right.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	That's correct.
	I gotta admit, I prefer to ride alone.
	I listen to music when I ride and it's kind of annoying when you gotta keep track of somebody else.
	Exactly.
	No, I admit that.
	It's like hunting, too.
	You don't want to hunt with someone else.
	You have to worry about them smelling or pissing or stepping on a broken twig.
	Scorpio.
	No.
	It's a solo act.
	Yeah, but they're not right with you when you're hunting.
	Usually, if you hunt with somebody else, they're in a stand somewhere, and then you have help, you know, pressing the deer.
	Okay, great.
	They should be a quarter of a mile away.
	Yeah, that's usually how it works, because you've got to... Who's going to pull the trigger?
	Here's someone shooting a crazy man with a knife, which might happen tonight, for all we know.
	Are you guys strapped?
	Always.
	All the time.
	Are you strapped, John?
	No.
	Why not?
	Good question.
	Not tonight.
	Why aren't you strapped?
	I'm afraid this guy over here might steal my gun.
	Is it getting harder to retain your concealed carry?
	No, they have... No, we're exempt.
	You have the Leosa, HR 218.
	Yeah, we're exempt.
	But I heard even with cops, it's getting stricter.
	No, it's federal.
	Leosa is like law enforcement, it's the thing for, and it's HR.
	I love how a criminal explains our gun permit.
	They always know the laws.
	He's explaining our gun permit to us.
	So you guys have, I mean the retired guys should have your HR 218.
	We have HR 218 that was passed by Bush, which brings us.
	Again, I do have family that's... Yeah, we can carry in any state.
	Anywhere in the country.
	But I'm saying, in Manhattan, the right to have a gun in Manhattan, they want to crack down on it so bad that even cops, who are seen as untouchable, even those guys are getting questioned.
	They gave us a waiver for Times Square and that area, and like the churches and all that, and the restaurants.
	Okay.
	Because when you go to Times Square now, there's these stupid signs down there that says, this is a gun-free zone.
	That's like, rob these people.
	Stupid.
	It's like, oh that's great, I could go in there and rob somebody.
	Is that even in the penal law or is that like a civil, like city code?
	It's a state code.
	It's a city code.
	Doesn't Trump... It's nonsense.
	So it's not enforceable.
	It is enforceable.
	It's not against the law per se.
	No, it is enforceable because if you're, you know, if you have a, let's suppose you're a construction worker and you have a gun permit and you happen to go into that area and something happens.
	They will, what do you call it, they'll lock you up.
	Yeah, you'll get locked out.
	You'll never get convicted.
	City ordinance.
	Yes.
	Completely unconstitutional.
	You're going to lose your gun permit.
	I went to see that play, Book of Mormons, and they wouldn't let me in with my gun.
	Private property, yeah.
	So where'd you put it?
	I went outside, I gave it to another cop.
	I said, hold on, I'll be back in two hours.
	You can go to the precinct, the local precinct, and they have little lockers, too.
	You can lock them.
	Can you do that with any precinct?
	Do you just go in a... I don't know if you're not a cop.
	If you're a cop, no way.
	But if you're a cop, you can.
	So any precinct, you can walk in and store some stuff?
	Yep.
	Oh, cool.
	But you know something?
	I wasn't being slick enough.
	I should have told him, hey, that's my keychain, that's... Yeah, well, did you just tag me down?
	What's that?
	Was he wanting you?
	Yeah, it was a female one.
	She said, what's that?
	I said, that's my gun.
	I should have said those were my keys.
	You know how I get out of that?
	I've been, I've walked into medicine.
	You got a device in your chest that can't do that.
	Can't go through metal detectors.
	Oh, yeah.
	Anytime we go to the airport with Matty.
	I mean, I was in Vegas over the summer.
	Brian's like, how can we get to go around all the metal detectors?
	I got an implant in my arm.
	Well, you have paperwork for that, right?
	Yeah, I have a patient card.
	They never asked for it.
	Really?
	So, what would you do down, going down into a Manhattan to a bar or something?
	What do you mean?
	They're going to wand you there, right?
	They can't wand me.
	It's illegal.
	Well, if it's private property, they can do whatever they want.
	I've gotten wanded in Madison Square Garden.
	With my gun on me, they wanded me, the wand went off, and I walked right in.
	That would be such a discrimination lawsuit.
	It would be such a discrimination lawsuit because I'm a disabled person.
	Discriminating against a disabled person.
	Oh yeah, if you bring that up.
	If you challenge him, a lot of guys will back off.
	He goes in the city to a concert, he puts his fucking gun in a little tray like at the TSA.
	They take it around the fucking metal detector.
	He walks through it, then picks up his gun and puts it back.
	They didn't even know it was something like a fanny pack.
	They didn't even check it.
	That's unbelievable.
	Here's your weird box back.
	That's hilarious.
	Let's watch cops shoot a crazy man with a knife.
	Okie dokie.
	Oh, that's up close.
	All right, see the reel.
	Here we go.
	This is very sensitive.
	- Yeah! - Drop it.
	- Yeah! - No, no, no! - Oh, this was a crazy kid.
	Within 10 seconds of the front door being opened, Jason Harrison lay dying in his own driveway.
	Shot at least five times, twice in the back, by officer John Rogers and... How many shots did you get?
	You know what it is?
	He probably fired the first two shots and that's what spun him around.
	And then he fired the other three.
	So it's not like he said, hey, turn around, let me shoot you in the back.
	But a civilian's view of stuff like that is, look, he's mentally disturbed.
	You didn't kill a bad guy, you killed a poor, sick kid.
	So should I let him stab you?
	And you're like, what would you like me to do?
	Talk him down?
	At the end of the day, self-preservation is key.
	At the end of the day, I don't have time to do a psych evaluation on everyone, so if a kid is coming at me with a knife, I gotta shoot him.
	Sorry!
	Why didn't the mother jump in there and say, hey, son, back up with that knife?
	Yeah.
	What are you supposed to do?
	She knows.
	He would have probably stabbed her.
	More than likely, she's the one who called the police.
	I've seen that a few times, where some guy gets shot and they go, you didn't have to kill him.
	It's very sad, but it's a fact of life.
	I feel bad for the mother.
	You're doing what your training is.
	Your training said, if someone comes at you with a knife, shoot them.
	Sorry.
	What were you talking about?
	Remember the 21 feet rule that you were talking about?
	Yeah, that's true.
	21 feet.
	If a guy has a knife, you gotta be 21 feet.
	How many seconds is that?
	Three seconds.
	There's a movie called Surviving Edge Weapons.
	They show it in the police academy.
	It's from like the 70s.
	It's excellent.
	I've actually tried that demonstration a few times.
	Neil, I can see you glancing at your phone.
	Not guilty, sir.
	Me and my friends, because we were like, really, 21 feet?
	And that's drawing from a cop's holster, which is right there, presentable.
	If you're carrying under your shirt, you've got to get...
	If you're a concealed carrier, yeah, you're fucked.
	Yeah.
	Neil, I can see you glancing at your phone.
	Not guilty, sir.
	What is that you're glancing at?
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Guys are on thin ice.
	Detective Shitty!
	We're going to have to put the phones in a hat and you're going to have to hold them.
	Yeah.
	What's this now?
	Mine's on the floor.
	Oh, there you go.
	The 21 feet.
	Yeah, this has got everything in it.
	Remember this?
	They showed this in both my cabins.
	I don't remember this.
	That doesn't look very scary.
	It starts about how old age weapons are.
	It was just terror.
	How old weapons are.
	I meant edged weapons.
	Since Caveman.
	Yeah, I think we all guessed that.
	Oh, my God.
	He butt stabbed him.
	Where you can anticipate edged weapons is the disturbance call.
	In fact, more officers a knife during disturbance.
	That's crazy.
	I bet the guy narrating this is like just like 31 years old.
	Situations combined.
	You know how like all young guys looked older back in the day?
	In the 70s, you see like high school students are like, hey, what's up?
	I'm bald and gray.
	They had more testosterone.
	Yeah.
	This guy's probably 22.
	He's like, we died younger too, so we were older.
	Yeah.
	Let's jump to this lunatic at the airport.
	I got to get through these.
	It's very important we get through these videos.
	Just send me these preemptively and then I'll download them.
	Dude, everyone says that.
	I have thousands of videos lined up.
	If you copy and paste them into a Google Doc, I'll take my time and then just go in there and download them.
	Yeah.
	That's a good idea actually.
	Yes.
	Cop affirmative action hires get roasted.
	Triple OG beats a deal instead of a couple of NYPD's finest.
	Oh yeah, this is funny.
	Was Ryan Wright?
	Blue on blue?
	What?
	Was Ryan Wright right there?
	Yeah, baby.
	No.
	No, stop.
	What the f...
	You were not right.
	Let me play my little baby bumper.
	We haven't tried it yet.
	We haven't tried it yet.
	The guys want to see it.
	Okay.
	All right.
	You know, it's funny.
	Those babies are less annoying than you.
	That's not true.
	Their normal hair.
	That's not true at all.
	They had Filipino nannies.
	Yeah.
	Let's not go back there.
	They're relaxed.
	Yeah, this is affirmative action in the NYPD.
	And these female cops cannot do shit.
	Sorry, ladies, you don't belong in the force.
	You have to be in the region of six feet and you have to be able to carry a hundred pounds on your back for a block.
	That's the new rule I just invented now.
	That's a traffic agent.
	I remember this.
	Yeah, that's not a real cop.
	Those are traffic agents with the white hat.
	Well, it might be.
	No, definitely traffic agents.
	Why are they even getting involved?
	Is this New York?
	Yeah.
	This is old.
	This is on the West Side Highway.
	There used to be audio for it.
	Vanished.
	I give you credit though.
	I'm not giving up.
	I give you the audio.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	Bop, bop, bop.
	Run.
	Vroom, vroom.
	They do get crazy.
	Aren't those like the, yeah, they're all Indian, right?
	The traffic cops?
	Oh, I've seen a lot.
	Didn't you say, Tim, that you had some couple where they were... Yeah, he wants to come next week.
	But I won't be here.
	But you said his wife was a total badass cop that totally rocks?
	I don't know if she was a badass, but she was a good cop.
	Active cop, I should say.
	But how, I'm sorry, how can you be a good cop if you're a woman?
	I know we've gone over this a hundred times.
	She's gonna get so mad at you.
	But if there's a fight, how are you helping?
	No, you're right.
	I mean that, you're right there.
	They can't fight.
	They can't fight men.
	A lot of guys can't fight.
	That's true.
	Right, they shouldn't be cops.
	I agree.
	And with these female cops they are aware it's the elephant in the room so then they overreact and instead of de-escalating they make things worse and now you gotta fight when you could have probably tampered it down.
	It could have been a non-confrontational situation.
	Situation.
	A very difficult situation.
	Of course.
	Christopher.
	Okay, uh, this is my last, uh, example of an important video.
	No, I got two more.
	This is a white dude after an accident.
	I don't know what the fuck's going on.
	Maybe you can give me your expert opinion.
	Can I get a bud?
	Yeah, gotcha.
	From the right-hand side.
	Uh, I think he might be on meth?
	Were you asleep whenever they rolled up on the- I remember this one.
	Were you still unconscious?
	Are you okay?
	What happened is... Is this your normal?
	No, I'm shaking up officer.
	I got you.
	I almost died.
	Come on.
	I was sleeping.
	Don't have a seat right there because I don't want anybody rearing me.
	If you want to have a seat on the ground then that's fine.
	Did you, aside from naturally being asleep, did you feel like you got knocked unconscious or anything like that?
	I don't know.
	All of a sudden I heard BANG!
	And I looked up and I saw everything.
	Glass was going crazy and stuff.
	I just went nuts, man.
	I gotcha.
	What happened?
	Did you get out then?
	I didn't know what happened, man.
	I was completely asleep and it just hit me hard.
	I understand.
	I gotcha.
	Alright.
	So we're good.
	You fell asleep on the wheel and you smashed your car.
	I think everything's totally explainable.
	- I got you. - HQ out there, one six six. - We're good.
	As long as he's never said he was in that car driving it, He's trying to make him say, yeah, I was driving.
	Because the cop can't arrest him if he didn't see him operate the vehicle.
	Correct.
	He could say Joe Balls was driving and he took off running.
	Yeah, he went to go get help.
	He told him to stay out of the scene.
	Alright, I think everything's fine then.
	We're good to go. - Damn awesome man.
	- Wait, I told you to sit down.
	- Hey, hey, hey, hey! - Hey! - Oh God, oh God, you're done coming! - Stop!
	Stop what you're doing right now!
	What are you doing?
	I don't know!
	I don't know!
	He just lost his mind on me.
	Stop!
	Stop!
	Stop what you're doing right now!
	- I can't hear anyone!
	Kill me, you fucker! - Kill me, fucker.
	- Stop! - You have a weapon?
	- Stop! Stop! Stop!
	He's fleeing and running around.
	He says he's got a gun.
	Stop!
	- Stop! - Ah, fuck you! - Oh, fuck you! - HQ, I don't want to reach in there.
	You would've never come out.
	- Stop! - Fuck that.
	- Stop what you're doing! - What the hell?
	Are those papers?
	What is all that shit on the ground?
	Papers, I guess.
	I don't know.
	Did he have a gun?
	No.
	I think he was on meth and he just lost his shit.
	Something happened to him.
	Some kind of psychotic episode.
	Yeah.
	Cause he went from like, I don't know what happened to you're trying to kill me and... My head.
	And it went bad.
	Okay, last piece.
	No, actually second last piece.
	We were talking about Black Lives Matter in Britain and I was saying, how dare you?
	You didn't have slaves.
	Now, obviously the colonies had slaves, but that's not the residence of Britain today.
	If you're a black person in Britain today, you can't talk about slavery, can you?
	Yeah, but didn't they, they had slaves around the world, didn't they rule India?
	Where... Sure!
	Yeah, but in America, we had slaves here on this terra firma.
	I'm not a BLM fan, but at least there's an argument here, where, hey, you guys had slaves here, and I'm a descendant of slaves here, and that pisses me off.
	Okay.
	At least I get the argument.
	But in Britain, there's no way There's no way the people there, the blacks there, are descendants of some fucking Guyana slave colony.
	Right?
	Right.
	It wasn't a thing.
	So this woman, Sasha Johnson, was the face of Britain's BLM.
	She was doing really well, really passionate.
	The picture kind of gives away where this ends.
	And she would talk about how everything is white supremacy.
	She's in constant fear for her life because of these fucking Nazis.
	And then she had a big party, a BLM party.
	By the way, as they were being investigated for fraud, just like the American BLM, and gunshots broke out.
	They tried to kill her.
	And... Well, the police jumped, ran in there, and tried to kill... Wow.
	Yeah, the cops.
	The Nazi cops.
	The cops that don't carry guns?
	Well, that was the media narrative.
	So, after her shooting, like, for the next two days, it was like, this is what happens when you stand up to whiteness.
	And it's like, no... What's that in her mouth?
	Why is half her head missing?
	What's that knot in her head?
	Oh, shit.
	It's all caved in.
	Yeah.
	She hasn't moved in over a year.
	Whoa.
	Her brain's gone.
	Look at her jaw, too.
	Like, the back of her head is gone.
	What do you mean?
	Look at, does that look normal to you?
	She's got a dent in her head the size of a bowling ball.
	Does she have a fetterman or is it like a... Oh yeah, I never noticed that.
	Do you see her head?
	Yes, I'm familiar with her head, obviously.
	I'm gonna miss that.
	I'm disturbed by that one.
	She might want to grow her hair out if she gets a date after she recovers because... She got shot in the head.
	That's hard to miss.
	So she got shot by blacks is the end of the story.
	Oh.
	I didn't think there were guns in England, huh?
	Yeah, the cops don't carry them.
	Well, they'll dig them up.
	Hey, what was the reason they tried to kill her?
	Do you know?
	We don't know yet.
	The problem is, every time they try to investigate which blacks shot her, Sasha Johnson, no one wants to be a snitch.
	Sounds like Tupac.
	Mm-hmm.
	So they're keeping it nice and safe.
	Okay.
	Well, that's your world.
	You said you were living in a racist society where you're constantly in fear of your life being murdered by fucking white supremacists and what blew half your head off?
	Blacks.
	Not good.
	Not good.
	See that one that got killed this morning?
	Was she a congresswoman or no?
	So she was assassinated in New Jersey.
	A Republican politician.
	She was African.
	I think she was Nigerian.
	And the way the media talks about it, they're like, she was found dead.
	She wasn't found dead.
	She was assassinated.
	She was shot multiple times in her car.
	She passed away from assassination, I guess you could say.
	Contagious these days.
	But it's gonna be gone.
	That story's gonna be gone in a couple days.
	And if it was a Democrat politician that was targeted, shot, dead in her car, outside of her house, it would be international news.
	It's like the Memphis story has kind of disappeared.
	Yeah.
	Shocking, right?
	Well, you know what's funny about the Memphis story, too, is all the new angles they have.
	Like, they found that one white cop, and they made it all about him for a couple days.
	Yeah, he's shit, right?
	Was that a dude, or...?
	What the fuck?
	What's his...?
	How was he involved?
	He wasn't even in any of the videos.
	He was at the first scene, but not the second.
	The first scene when they first stopped him.
	Ah.
	So they can't wait to talk about him.
	He was like, let me get the fuck out of here.
	And then the other thing I saw, D.L.
	Hughley on Daily Show, he said, you see how fast they arrested those motherfuckers?
	They got him in like, in 20 hours.
	Boom.
	They was arrested, fired, they lost their jobs.
	So, that was because they were black.
	So now, like, the black murdering cops are the good guys, and we have to feel bad that they were arrested so fast.
	That's what defund the police looks like, by the way.
	Yeah.
	New York City would have burnt down if those were five white officers.
	New York City would be on fire right now.
	Oh my God.
	The whole country would be on fire.
	Yeah.
	Germany would be on fire.
	Yeah.
	They'd be fucking, they'd be riding in Stuttgart.
	Norway would be on fire.
	Uganda would be on fire.
	Well, Uganda is kind of... You wouldn't be able to tell.
	All right, last video.
	These guys steal a car.
	They go on a chase.
	They hit some other cars.
	Then the police decide not to chase them because they're going at 100 miles an hour.
	It's not worth it.
	And this cop pulls over.
	He gets rear-ended.
	And the reaction from the dude when they finally catch him is, I'm so tired, you guys.
	I can't answer any questions.
	I'm really tired.
	It's one of the most annoying arrests.
	So we can drop the needle all over this.
	This starts here at 10 minutes in.
	But it's always Wisconsin, by the way.
	Maybe that's the code blue, that channel.
	They're a Wisconsin-based thing, but it seems like every fucking video is Wisconsin.
	Does this get your guises as adrenaline pumping when you see these?
	No.
	What do you feel?
	What's he puking from?
	Probably opiates.
	Were you drinking something red or is that blood?
	I'm taking the blood.
	You know what that is?
	He thinks getting arrested is gross.
	Can you take him to the back of your car?
	Yeah, that's the driver right there.
	Where?
	You're the driver.
	What do you mean, where?
	I do listen to funny stories.
	Can you finish that before you get in my car, please?
	Exactly.
	Spread your feet.
	Sit on the push bar.
	Stop puking.
	Stop puking.
	Sit on the push bar.
	What's your last name?
	You smell it?
	But if you go back of it, you see his hiding spot?
	He just put a potted plant on his head.
	And the cop's like, I know you're not a plant.
	Wait, you just passed it.
	It's, it's very close to the arrest.
	Oh, they were on a foot chase.
	Yeah.
	There we go.
	Sit tight, man.
	That's a tired guy.
	We want to get back to him.
	At least he was being creative.
	What's a guy riding a horse?
	What the fuck?
	Put your hands up!
	head with his legs clearly showing.
	- At least he was being creative.
	What's the guy riding a horse?
	- What the fuck?
	- Put your hands up.
	Do it now.
	I know you're not a plant.
	- If I stand here, I'm gonna be quiet.
	Imagine being funny in that situation.
	It's damn... How do you know I'm not a plant?
	Plants don't have legs and shoes.
	Officer, before you cuff me, I gotta know.
	How'd you figure it out?
	There's one thing that's bothering me.
	They got Colombo on the case?
	My wife's a huge fan.
	She loves plants.
	But I couldn't help but notice the pot is upside down and it's got legs with Reeboks on them.
	At the police station, they'll do a lineup.
	They'll have like a cactus.
	A tomato plant in the sky!
	My favorite video.
	Have you ever seen the Connecticut State Trooper video?
	Yeah, he played that on the show.
	Oh, he did?
	Yeah, recently actually.
	Oh, that's great.
	What's that one?
	The guy who screams at the cop?
	In Connecticut.
	The guy starts yelling at him, he pulls him over.
	He pulls the cop over, screaming at the cop.
	Oh, it was the final video, and he's like, "'Cause you were all meh." Oh yeah, that's great.
	You had to be American.
	That's huge.
	Yeah, that was amazing.
	The amazing thing about that video, too, is you're watching and you're like, how is that cop yelling and you can't see his lips move?
	And then you realize, oh, it's the person in the car yelling at the cop.
	You mind telling me why you're fucking riding this guy's ass and breaking his speed limit?
	There's other angles of that video.
	There's an angle from the driver videotaping on his phone, and then there's a body cam from the cop.
	There's like three different angles that you can watch that video.
	Well, that thing blew up.
	There's... Neil, what are you doing?
	He's picking his nails.
	Cuticles.
	I don't think there's anything cute about it.
	There's license plates for him.
	There's a challenge coin.
	There's t-shirts.
	Like, that guy is a cult.
	That's a good way to talk yourself into jello.
	For no reason.
	Yelling at a cop out of the blue.
	Last thing on my fucking mind.
	Uh, go back to the, uh, previous arrest though.
	And check out tired guy before they found plant man.
	No, no, not that far at all.
	Yeah.
	That guy.
	I need to know right now.
	Roll over.
	No, get before they arrest him.
	Watch how fast he's running.
	I just barfed.
	Yeah, there it is.
	a little bit before that. - Whatever, whosoever squad's down there saw 'em.
	They didn't get out after me.
	They were too fast for me.
	- Port Washington? - So I got my gun out right away, 'cause I'm like, "Holy, they might get out on me, and we might get into a gunfight right here, I have no idea how fast he hit me, but he locked the brakes up real good.
	Totaled the spot.
	Yeah, he rear-ended the cop car.
	The driver was later identified as 20-year-old Amarion Graham and the passenger as 22-year-old Anthony Bland.
	A deputy searched the surrounding area and noticed Anthony running through a parking lot.
	Amarion.
	Even in Wisconsin, they have stupid names.
	You can take them out of the hood.
	There we go.
	There we go.
	Watch him run.
	You'll never catch me.
	Are you fucking kidding me?
	He's not much of an athlete.
	Wait, we gotta see that again.
	Look at that velocity.
	We're gonna have to get the dogs.
	We're gonna have to get the cheetahs on this guy.
	Police cheetah.
	Alright, I'm out of here.
	He even starts walking!
	At that point you just stop.
	Yeah, it's over.
	I don't understand.
	- Are we gonna walk chase you? - I don't know.
	- Holy shit.
	- Yeah.
	- No movie, now you're gonna get shot! - Jesus Christ.
	I think they're on opioids.
	Could be.
	Uh, I am.
	Is he taking a nap now?
	Yeah, this is Oxy for sure.
	Where did the driver go?
	Are you the only one in the car?
	He's in a sleepover I got leaves on my pants Now if you jump forward a bit, you can see him in the car, and he keeps talking about how tired he is.
	- Get in the car! - I got him covered.
	Do you wanna?
	- Now if you jump forward a bit, you can see him in the car, and he keeps talking about how tired he is.
	It's like, I wanna give him Narcan.
	- Fentanyl over those.
	- That should become police procedure.
	If someone's acting drowsy, you Narcan them.
	There's no bad thing that can happen if you're not on opioids and you get Narcan'd, right?
	So why not just fucking Narcan it up?
	The squad got smoked.
	He went up the ramp, he said, I just got hit.
	Is anyone- is he good?
	Is anyone is he good?
	Yeah, he was walking he was playing up.
	What are you doing man?
	Dude, you got to sit up like this I gotta make sure you're awake.
	Can you sit up?
	I need you to sit up.
	The ambulance is gonna be here in a minute to check you out, okay?
	It's almost here.
	Where are you hurting?
	Is that Brittany Griner?
	That's Ziggy Molly.
	Yeah, I can't do no favor for nobody else.
	It's just marijuana in my pen.
	Hey guys.
	You didn't tell me who was driving?
	I don't know.
	I was tired.
	I told him I was supposed to do a favor.
	And I went to sleep.
	I got real tired.
	You know who was driving the car?
	Yeah.
	Always.
	You're just in the car with a random person and you don't know his name?
	I did a favor for somebody.
	What does that mean?
	What was the favor?
	I was supposed to throw him somewhere.
	What?
	I was supposed to drove him somewhere.
	I was supposed to drove him somewhere.
	That's not the proper conjugation of drive.
	- What was the name?
	- I did a favor for somebody.
	- Course rule.
	- What does that mean?
	- What was the favorite?
	- Sir, I love-- - You say nothing.
	- Absolutely.
	- Give me my pedigree information.
	- Big fan of Tales from the Crypt, but you have to cooperate, sir.
	- So cops and criminals both agree, don't speak to the police.
	Not a fucking word.
	Give them your pedigree information and have at it.
	Well when you're making spontaneous utterances like that, they could be used against you in a court of law.
	I self-surrendered, and my older brother brought me up.
	I called my older brother and said, hey, call the ATF guy and tell him to stop going to my mother's house.
	I'll let you... I'll come with you Monday, and he surrendered me in.
	And I had a buddy with me, and I remember before I went in, the ATF agent came out, and I said, hey, just let so-and-so know it's about Virginia.
	Everything was written down in the fucking report for the court, like five minutes later.
	So don't say anything.
	Well, you know when you're dealing with these skulls on the side of the road, the guys that have been arrested five, six, whatever times before, you know.
	You already know, based on their responses, who you're dealing with.
	You know, uh, the Memphis thing, a cop was saying to me, he knew a shell cop, said, you gotta understand how much black thugs fucking hate cops, black cops.
	They call them Coons, they call them Uncle Toms, and you gotta understand how much black cops hate fucking Skells.
	They ruin the black community, they're a pain in the ass, they give everyone a bad name.
	So those Clash of the Titans, say they're not vice lords, that Clash of the Titans is like two groups that fucking despise each other.
	That's true.
	I met a black cop who hates cops.
	That's weird.
	I think they get brainwashed by their family and they're just like, fuck this.
	I believe you.
	They are.
	All cops or white cops?
	Well, I said to him, I go, um, uh, he was like, uh, he worked with my wife or something, sort of same circle.
	And I said, Oh, I'm a cop guy.
	Let's grab a beer and, uh, and rap.
	And he goes, uh, I don't drink beer and I don't like cops.
	And I was like, alrighty, well I guess that's the end of our budding friendship.
	Sounds like just a guy who hates his co-workers.
	He's probably just a fucking asshole.
	He's probably a zero at work too.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He's entitled.
	Yeah.
	Can't do anything.
	You know what it probably is?
	And I have a few clues to this because I met a guy who's at the same department as him.
	He's in Yonkers.
	I think he gets teased a lot.
	He gets his balls busted.
	And he's one of those dudes that doesn't do well with ball busting.
	Cops are vicious bull breakers.
	Yeah, you got a thick skin.
	Oh, forget about it.
	That's the whole game, right?
	Yes.
	I heard about this dude who, he pulled his firearm because a squirrel jumped out at him when he was doing a check on some old lady.
	And he became squirrel for the rest of his life.
	His locker would have squirrels all over it.
	They'd have taxidermy squirrels on his desk.
	Like, that was the end of him.
	He was the squirrel man.
	They're ruthless.
	Yeah, I would be a little nervous if I was on the other end of a call with that guy.
	Put your gun out for a squirrel?
	Yeah.
	That's kind of scary.
	Did you guys ever get teased for being fags?
	No.
	Well, I'll tell you in the, well, in our station, you know, it was all about having fun.
	We would spray each other more than we'd spray the, you know, the bad guys.
	Just fucking around.
	You're leaving the station for the night.
	Later, guys.
	Touch one off.
	That's good old-fashioned fun.
	And I think that that stuff getting monitored and punished leads to cop suicide.
	Because if you can't let off steam, and you can't have fun, it becomes a pressure cooker, and now it just pops somewhere else.
	You gotta be able to spray your friends.
	We used to have a guy who used to leave his locker combination on one particular number, and we knew if we just fuckin' moved it a millimeter, he'd fuckin' lose his mind, think somebody was at his locker.
	Wow.
	Very OCD.
	Yeah.
	It was great.
	That's all you had to do.
	I knew this dude, Willie McAloon.
	He told me that when someone jumps in front of a train, no one cleans that up.
	The cops have to eventually pick it up and put it in bags.
	So he picks up this guy's head, and it's just like... And he goes, holy shit, it really does feel like a bowling ball!
	It really is the same weight!
	Now if you take away that joke from that guy, I don't know.
	He has nightmares about the fucking head he picked up.
	What are you supposed to do?
	Pick up a human head and put it in a bag and be like, sorry everyone, I suck.
	Well, they call it dark humor.
	It helps you get through it.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Let's let's go over to some calls and some mail.
	But before we do, let's say a brief hello to BeardVet.
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	They have a few new t-shirts as well.
	Again, as I've said, I know you're buying coffee, so you want to buy it from Coming to the Performance Free Speech and people like us.
	So go to BeardVet.com, promo code GAVIN for 15% off, more free shipping on orders over $40.
	Uh, let's open the phone lines, and also, Ryan, play that song about your dad not being around.
	Actually, we're playing the thanks for calling one this today.
	Remember?
	Oh, so your dad is around.
	No, uh, he's also not.
	But it doesn't mention that.
	Well, in the same country.
	That's true.
	I'm here to have a conversation.
	This is a fucking loser.
	I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next one.
	Bye-bye.
	I'm not on me.
	It's 50.
	Uh.
	You know, it's possible that your dad abandoned you because he's lazy.
	And he just didn't want to deal with the kid.
	No, he's not the Puerto Rican one.
	My mom was Puerto Rican.
	But it's possible he's just very prescient and could even tell just by looking at a one-year-old that this kid's gonna be annoying.
	You assume that he was around for one year?
	What does he think now when he sees your hair with him being such a high-end hairdresser?
	He thinks it's a pretty cue.
	Oh.
	Can't he fix it?
	I asked him once.
	I think I told you this.
	And I put my hair back.
	I was like, Dad, do you think my hair looks better back or forward?
	He's like, oh, I don't care.
	He's like, no dad, dad, you're a fucking celebrity stylist to the stars.
	He's literally, you know, that's his job is to care about hair.
	He's like, yeah, I care about other people's hair.
	He's like, Ryan, I charge $200 an hour.
	I care about people's hair when it could help me, but who are you?
	You're going to pay my fee?
	You're not going to pay.
	It's not really the hair, it's like what's underneath.
	Where your hair comes from, the roots are rotten.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	The soil is the problem.
	I think Japanese people are just chinks at the end of the day.
	They're just cool chinks.
	No.
	There's so much that separates them.
	They both have no feelings.
	Think about the way... Like a Chinese person would be, oh I don't care.
	No.
	Japanese person, oh I don't care.
	No, no, no.
	Same lack of care.
	They have fun, and they're fun people.
	I mean, I don't love Japanese people and Japanese culture like a lot of weeaboos do, but I can acknowledge that they're better than Chinese people.
	They wash their vegetables.
	Like, look at sushi versus look at duck soup with duck foot ching chong.
	Oh!
	Ooh.
	Wow, Asian hair from an Asian.
	Hey look, I'm Chinese.
	You think they should be thrown down the stairs at the subway in New York too?
	I'm a China!
	Get out of here.
	I got to agree.
	My other job, Neil and I work at, we receive calls from all over the world, and from Japan they're fine, from China they are fucking retards.
	Well, from China, they're like, hey, we'd like to order some guard dogs.
	And you go, okay, what do you want?
	Doberman Pinschers?
	German Shepherds?
	Which is the plumpest?
	What's the fattest guard dog you have?
	Well, they're all pretty big.
	I mean, they're muscular.
	Yeah, what's biggest?
	What's the most fat, most plump guard dog you have?
	We're eating tonight!
	We have a wedding coming up.
	Can we get five German shepherds and start stuffing them right now with all kinds of rice and butter?
	That's crazy.
	Canine Ragoon.
	It's Rangoon.
	Yeah, like I guess they don't eat dogs in Japan, right?
	No, hell no.
	No, I said like, uh, Vietnam and shit.
	They'll eat like a fucking clam.
	China too?
	Don't chew on a clam shell, but... That's a good assignment.
	Ordering all the Asians in order of best to worst.
	I would say Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and then the other island weird ones.
	You like Koreans better than Japanese?
	No, but they're more Western.
	They're definitely...
	That doesn't mean they're better.
	Because of the American occupation?
	And they weren't bombed so they don't have that weird hang-up of being bombed or something?
	Godzilla movies?
	Those are cool.
	Even the hang-up is cool.
	They weren't ever nuclear.
	When you think of driving around Tokyo, there's all the cool signs.
	It's like Blade Runner.
	Just because you're more American doesn't mean you're better.
	But I feel like they're Japanese people are a little more sexless and odd with their sex stuff.
	They hide it.
	It's shameful.
	I feel like they're less social.
	You can just say the word sexuality if you want.
	I feel like they're less sex stuff.
	Monography is practically legal in Japan.
	Right.
	Like fucking child porn is fucking rampant over there.
	Yeah, they're weird, man.
	Like, I don't think they have little puppies.
	They're not as good with social... You know why?
	It's because they suppress their sexuality.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's what I hear.
	And they drink a lot.
	And I have good nannies.
	Filipinos.
	They bring them in.
	A lot of ladyboys.
	Why do you guys get your nannies from the Philippines?
	Ladyboys is like Thai in Southeast Asia.
	You don't really get ladyboys in Tokyo.
	Thailand.
	Right.
	No, we're ordering all the Asians though.
	I'm, I will argue with you, but I'm open, I might be wrong, but I would go Japanese, Korean, uh, I'm going to put China last.
	Actually, my best friend married a Japanese girl.
	I'd have to put the Japanese top.
	A cinch over?
	Number one.
	Yeah.
	Top?
	Number uno.
	Japan number one.
	Yeah.
	Nippon.
	What's that top screen for, Ryan?
	That's for when we put a little movie or a little video and we could watch it together.
	Yeah, I don't know about these angles that you're so into.
	What are you talking about?
	You don't like my angles?
	I like 90 degrees.
	The bend?
	You know who likes angles?
	Chicks.
	Well, it's just it gets more of you on the screen.
	And here's my case in point.
	Hold on one second.
	Okay, look at this.
	Okay, so this is you guys, right?
	Now look at this.
	Oh, that's cool.
	No, it's not.
	It's not.
	No, that guys, guys, that's cool.
	No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	That's nice job.
	I'm wrong.
	You read your lips.
	There we go.
	See this one more than this one.
	See, this one gives you less.
	You what?
	What?
	1%?
	Yeah, no, it's a go to the other one.
	Look how flat it go to the one with the angles.
	Okay.
	Why don't you put all five of us?
	You take up more of the screen.
	It's a 1% difference.
	Chicks like angles.
	Boys don't like angles.
	Anyway, that's a difference.
	All right.
	Did you put up the line for calls?
	Oh, here's, let me just take the first letter.
	So everyone's talking about chat, GPT, uh, AI.
	It's just come out that, uh, so artificial intelligence, it can do, it can, it can, we, we played a thing yesterday where Tucker Carlson was like, it's time to go full nigger warfare on these assholes.
	Let's bring up guns, go to the hood and kill everyone.
	And it sounds exactly like Tucker Carlson.
	We have Joe Biden talking about how trannies are not women and stop just give up when we find your bones it's gonna be obvious you're a man but they can do songs and shit now so they check out go to AI resurrected Biggie and Tupac at the 27 Club and and then click on Jimi Hendrix Say what?
	Okay.
	Wait, wait.
	It's uh, an email?
	Wait, what are you doing?
	Working on your dumb fucking 45 degree angle shit?
	No, I got the calls being set up here.
	Oh.
	AI resurrected Biggie and Tupac at the 27 Club.
	Is the name of the email.
	AI is spelled A-I.
	Um, but they did it.
	They did a movie about Jimi Hendrix and they weren't allowed to use any of his songs.
	They could have used AI to make these songs.
	Amen.
	What is taking you so effing long?
	I'm doing two things.
	We'll do one thing.
	I gotta take a piss, bro.
	Don't worry about the calls until we find this.
	Holy AIDS.
	Okay, Resurrect and Jimi Hendrix ones.
	So you weren't looking for that.
	Okay, so no.
	Go to the Jimi Hendrix one.
	Is that it?
	Yeah.
	Okay, check this out.
	This is AI doing Jimi Hendrix.
	Ready to connect.
	Click connect to...
	Isn't that spooky?
	Oh, baby.
	Or do Nirvana?
	Oh baby, why'd you fall like that?
	Turn your mic on?
	Or do Nirvana.
	Let's cover it.
	How do they produce this?
	That's crazy.
	And then go back up to Biggie and Tupac, Head Held High.
	Drop it in the middle somewhere.
	None of these songs exist for the record.
	I could do that.
	Oh, he rhymes, too.
	This is kind of like, uh, dark.
	So... But if that doesn't make any sense, I can't really... No, nothing makes any sense.
	Oh, he rhymes, too.
	This is kind of like dark.
	But does that make any sense?
	I can't really get it.
	No, nothing makes any sense.
	But it was kind of cool when it first came out.
	We go, oh, cool.
	We can make people say things.
	You can ask your questions.
	You can do a groomsman's speech.
	And then you can say, make it funnier, and it'll give you a funny speech.
	But now we're discovering that the people involved are woke.
	So chat, GPT, AI is...
	is left wing.
	So if you type in, uh, write me a poem about how awesome Trump is, it will say, I'm not political.
	I don't get involved in those kinds of things.
	I'm a computer.
	We don't do that kind of thing.
	And then you'd say, write me a poem about how awesome Joe Biden is.
	And it will say, Joe Biden, the leader of the people.
	He's number one in my books.
	He's a totally great cook too.
	Yeah, he rocks.
	Oh God.
	So the way this stuff was developed was it kept learning and making things, but then when it noticed it was getting racist, when they noticed it was getting racist, like it did a thing where it looked at a billion pictures of perps and then you'd show it a picture and it said, do you think this person's a perp?
	And it would say, yeah, probably, it's black.
	So they go, uh oh, AI's getting racist.
	So then they hired all these fat trannies to come in and they would start changing the results.
	And these things go by upvotes.
	So when something that is seemingly racist, like I like Trump, happens, they downvote it and eventually they change the brain.
	Of AI.
	So, we're in the Terminator, we're in the Matrix, and the woke Marxist mob has gotten into the computer and turned it to the left.
	Paul Joseph Watson had a great video about this.
	I was promoting it on Getter.
	And I saw Cernovich today, he goes, just when we were starting to build bridges, you know, they finally got over Trump and we were like, I think I might trust you again.
	Uh, we all agree Biden sucks.
	Just when we were starting to get along, you infiltrated our society with these supercomputers that are Marxist cunts.
	So fuck you.
	All bets are off.
	This is war.
	Go to a AI generated Trump voice.
	That's a pretty good one.
	I'm impressed.
	I'm not so impressed with the fact that it can do an imitation of someone, but I'm impressed that it gets the pauses right in between sentences.
	Right.
	The social cues.
	Yeah.
	Epstein's place was great.
	I mean, let's not act like faggots here.
	Everyone loves young pussy.
	So the guy has this island.
	It's genius, really.
	He'd fly us out there about three times a year.
	There would be these little parties and the girls and the coke, and then you fuck, right?
	Clinton used to like to fuck these girls on the pool table in front of everyone.
	It was so funny to see him and his little dick.
	He thought he had a big dick, but Christ, it looked like a little slug there as he was chasing these bitches around the pool.
	These stupid cunts, these teenage whores Jeffrey would enslave were some of the best little cocksuckers I've ever encountered.
	It's true.
	I went to the island 30, maybe 40 times over the years.
	Jeffrey had this little ceremony he'd like to do where he'd buy a girl from Colombia or one of those shithole countries.
	The only thing, if you listen to it for a while, you catch like a monotone, there's no inflection in the voice.
	Yeah, he wasn't a monotone guy.
	She wasn't going home afterwards.
	Frankly!
	Some of the guys would get pretty rough with her, you know, cigarette burns, throw her through a plate glass window, you know, stuff like that.
	So after we were done with her, Jeffrey would sacrifice her to some dark lord or something, I don't know.
	I was always too high on heroin to pay much attention, but at any rate, we would barbecue this bitch at the end of the party, and we'd all take a bite, you know, a little taste of her flesh.
	Makes me rock hard to this day to think about it, really.
	That's terrible!
	Oh, man!
	Oh, for fuck's sakes!
	Alright, have we got any calls?
	We do.
	We do.
	You seem stressed out.
	Are you overwhelmed?
	I'm me.
	I'm me.
	You're me.
	We got Bernard.
	Hello, Bernard.
	Hey, Baynard.
	Listen, I gotta say, the cop talk jingle sucks.
	What?
	Really?
	Play it, Ryan.
	You're doing a disservice to these police officers.
	Well, that's not good.
	Well, let's see if they like it.
	They served our city and our state for 20 years plus.
	Sounds like a rockin' jam.
	Is that Ryan singing that shit?
	No, it's me!
	Oh, it's you?
	I have the lyrics memorized.
	Oh.
	Okay, do a better job then.
	Who wrote the final video song?
	Me, me, me, me.
	I don't know.
	What was that?
	Talk, talk.
	Only brutal honesty.
	Talk, talk.
	That's Jim Godes theme.
	Hardballs, yeah, yeah.
	Hardballs.
	Oh, that was great.
	Thanks for calling.
	Next.
	Let's see.
	206, you're on the line.
	Hey, Gavin, Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, so I know that in the past you've gone on record as saying that you don't like shoegaze.
	You think that that kind of sucks as a genre of music.
	Shoegaze, yeah, like the indie rock sort of looking down stuff.
	Yeah, homos that are into footwear, yeah.
	Yeah, so you don't like shoegaze.
	Ryan, can you look up a song called Jealous by iDress?
	I really think it'll change your mind, Gavin.
	Okay, did you get a burner phone from the hood?
	What is going on with the sound here?
	Oh, no, I got an ice machine running in the back.
	It sounds terrible.
	What do we got to look up?
	Jealous by iDress.
	Okay, we'll look up Jealous by iDress.
	This better be good.
	But I iDress.
	Hey, thanks for calling.
	All right, thanks for calling us.
	It's Devo.
	I like that.
	Whip it!
	Wait, I feel like we've featured this band before.
	Yeah, Idris, that sounds very familiar.
	It's a repeated Devo band.
	We've featured this band before.
	They were one of the opening songs.
	Did they start at CBGB's in Manhattan?
	Did Devo start at CBGB's?
	Sure.
	Aren't they from like the Midwest?
	Know your history.
	I'm fucked.
	I think they were fired at CBGB's.
	Where did Devo start?
	Yeah, Kent, Ohio, thank you very much.
	Then they came to New York and they played Insanely Jeebies!
	Alright, thanks dude, we already covered that ancient Chinese secret.
	Literally.
	I searched our emails, I don't see that.
	But that doesn't mean that we didn't just last minute... I don't mean shit.
	Well... We have... 6, 7, 8.
	What is it?
	9, 8, 10, 11, 12?
	Uhuru!
	We have 6, 7, 8.
	What is it?
	9, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12?
	Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, I'm a proud plot boy.
	Okay, thank you for your service.
	I've got a hill I'd like to die on, and it's in the same vein as a butt boy.
	It's people who go the wrong way down a one-way parking lot.
	It drives me absolutely insane, and I will sit and park in the middle of that one-way road until they back up out of that road.
	It drives me crazy.
	What do you guys think about that?
	Well, if it's a relatively abandoned parking lot, is that still an issue?
	No, it's usually when it's like full and you're trying to find a spot and they're trying to sneak in to get one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, thank you for your service.
	Especially when the parking stalls are slanted 45 degrees.
	What's that supposed to mean?
	And they're coming the wrong, you know, they're slanted this way.
	So you're supposed to drive.
	Tim, Tim.
	What?
	Too loud?
	No.
	He's gone.
	Oh.
	You know what sucks?
	No, no, no.
	Guys, guys.
	Yes?
	What do you keep saying?
	Huh?
	Slanted.
	Oh, Ryan.
	Oh, Ryan, sorry.
	Sorry, my slanted friend.
	No, but anyway.
	Ryan, he was talking about parking spots.
	He didn't know what the fuck he was saying.
	I think I heard him say slanted-eyed gook.
	I'm headed down to Florida next week.
	They actually enforced that bullshit law at 7-Eleven, where there's the In-N-Out.
	And the sheriffs, they wait there till after 12 o'clock.
	And if you're going in the In-N-Out... I'm all for it.
	Yeah, but they're just looking for a way to pull you over to give you a dewey.
	We're living in a society.
	Yes.
	It's a society!
	Of rules and regulations.
	No, seriously, it's bullshit.
	Yeah.
	Well, I like the one way.
	I agree with you for once.
	I agree with the caller.
	That drives me insane.
	How do you feel, John, if you're such an anarchist, about people on a plane who are, say, in row 23, getting up as the plane stops and the seatbelt light comes off, they grab their shit, and now they run up and they're behind someone who's in row 19.
	And the people in 21 are like, what the fuck?
	What is this?
	It's just jerk-offs.
	Okay, good.
	He's a bad boy.
	How do you feel about people who recline and coach on a day trip to, say, Detroit that's only three hours?
	That's a great question.
	You know why?
	Because they're in comfortable chairs.
	Unlike the chairs that we're sitting in tonight.
	Well, you're plus size, so you're... He's very comfortable over here.
	I'm comfortable.
	I had an old black lady squat me in the head once for that.
	Oh, yeah.
	Too long.
	You know what else is annoying too?
	These people that at dawn, they keep their lights off on the cars.
	The eagles are better than the eagles.
	And I'm obsessed with this now, but I'm driving around, even driving here tonight, I would say I click my brights six times a night.
	And I must be wrong.
	There can't be that many people driving with their brights on.
	It's the LEDs.
	But I'm getting fucking my eyes burnt off.
	Yeah.
	So I want to have, there must be an app on your phone where you can hold it out and measure the brightness.
	Tell you how many lux.
	And I thought, the cops, the cops can never stop this.
	Because what are the cops going to do?
	Pull you over and go, did you have your brights on?
	No.
	Yeah, you can get pulled over for that.
	Yeah, but how do you prove it?
	I witnessed you do it.
	When you, when you bright them, do they bright you back?
	No, it's, it's, I'm in the suburbs, so it's not like we're on a long freeway and I can communicate.
	I'm just like going by and I'm like, click, click, fuck you.
	Click, click, fuck you.
	Click, click, fuck you.
	Yeah, it's fucking bad.
	I haven't known to do that once or twice myself.
	It's these fucking, these 2023s, these 2022s, they're fucking Mercedes.
	They got these fucking bright lights.
	They look like there's fucking a tank coming at you.
	Oh, okay, so you're not a brighter.
	No.
	You flash people.
	Oh, Jesus, John.
	You just gave me a heart attack.
	I thought you meant, sometimes I drive around at night, I put my brights on.
	I don't know, I want to see.
	That's not you, thank God.
	Yeah, I think there's illegal immigrants, too.
	I think you talked about that.
	Trust me, I'm still living in the hood.
	They don't even know.
	They don't even know the etiquette.
	Some of them don't care.
	Well, I notice illegals, they ride their bikes and their e-bikes and their whatever bikes on the sidewalk, and it's not because they're assholes.
	They don't realize that bikes go on the fucking road.
	No one told them.
	The LBDs?
	I'm still down in the Bronx where it's totally fucking lawless.
	Yeah.
	Oh, dude.
	Nobody gives a shit about anything.
	Temporary plates.
	Motorcyclists don't wear helmets in the Bronx.
	No.
	It's Costa Rica over there.
	Yeah.
	Absolutely.
	Over there.
	Over here.
	It's anarchy.
	Oh, uh, my wife said you watch Reels, right?
	Instagram Reels.
	Yeah.
	That song is all over TikTok and the Reels now these days.
	Maybe that's where you've heard it.
	Okay.
	It's like number one rock and roll.
	Uh, this guy, uh, 702, he's on the loo.
	702, we're with you.
	Just, uh, just, just calling about the fucking, uh, the bright issue.
	I'm from Vegas.
	I've lived here my entire life.
	The past probably two years, the amount of people driving with their brights on, Whether they know it or not has gone up like...
	An insane amount.
	I don't know what, how... Okay, we need, we need an investigative team on this.
	We need journalists, like, I'm so sick of journalists investigating white nationalism.
	Investigate the high beams.
	It's cause there's a whole bunch of different explanations.
	Some say people go to get their headlights replaced and they go, holy shit, it's 200 bucks.
	Well, yeah, but there are these LEDs that are like 50 bucks.
	So they're getting these LEDs that aren't really, uh, to code, but they're fucking blinding.
	Yeah.
	That might be like 10% of them, but it's got to be like a majority of people just don't give a shit.
	They just know they're on and they just want to see, like you said, and they just leave them on because they don't care.
	So you're from Vegas.
	You're not too far, like four hours from LA.
	Remember that back in the day?
	Gangsters used to fucking ride with their headlights off and if somebody hit them with their brights That's a challenge, right?
	They'd come around and they'd fucking, they'd shoot them.
	Initiation.
	Initiation.
	Have you ever heard of that in Vegas?
	Not out here, but I've definitely flashed a couple people.
	I don't really anymore because it ends up They end up following you to wherever the fuck you're going.
	Yeah, I've heard of that.
	And it's not, not worth it because you know there's huge highways, four-lane highways, whatever, but they'll have their Wait, we got a call.
	anywhere, if it's just on a side street or, I mean, it's insane.
	But everybody got a gun in Vegas, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Wait, we got a call.
	Thanks for calling.
	All right, bye.
	An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's This call is not private.
	It will be recorded and may be monitored.
	If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.
	To accept this free call, press 1 to review.
	Thank you for using Securus.
	You may start the conversation now.
	Hi Mercedes.
	Hi Gavin.
	Long time no see.
	Yeah, tell me about it.
	I'm stuck in here, in jail, and you know what?
	You guys think that you guys have an illegals problem out there?
	I have an illegals problem in here.
	I literally got attacked by my illegal bunkmate, who's a Honduran, two weeks ago.
	And the facility, all they did was move her.
	You know, so if I had been attacked by like a white girl or even a black girl, they would have given her a discipline, right?
	They didn't do anything to this bitch.
	Nothing.
	They didn't give her a discipline.
	Nothing.
	They moved her to another cell.
	They let her keep all her stuff.
	And usually, if you get attacked by somebody, they keep you away from them, right?
	Instead, I am now stuck on a group.
	I'm stuck on a tier group.
	Not only with 18, no, now 19 women for three hours, but two of them are illegals who have attacked me before.
	And they sit together, literally plotting to attack me.
	And why do they want to attack you?
	Probably because I... I think because I'm a porn actress.
	You know what's funny?
	The illegal who attacked me, she's a hooker at a cerveza bar.
	And she's an obese one.
	She's getting mad at her because she's a porn star?
	And so these cerveza bars are literally these brothels.
	Yeah.
	I'm not kidding.
	She called me a pinche prostituta, but that's because she's a pinche prostituta.
	She's here for whoring out a 12-year-old girl.
	Oh, Jesus.
	I'm not kidding you.
	Yeah, this is the kind of people that I'm exposed to here.
	And the facility does nothing to these people.
	They protect them.
	There's actually a deputy here who I complained to her about another one of these illegals here, and they protect these illegals.
	I'm not kidding you.
	This is like an amnesty jail.
	What percentage of the inmates at your jail are illegal?
	Well, you know, I don't know.
	I know in this unit, I mean, based on the numbers in this tier, there's three out of 18 of them here, but this is an odd unit.
	I think over in the other unit, there's a huge number of them are Pisces.
	Huge, huge number.
	Pisces?
	What does that mean?
	That means the illegals.
	Oh, and do you speak Spanish?
	Okay, so you can handle that.
	Yeah, I speak Spanish really well.
	So you're in Rancho Cucamonga.
	What percentage of the inmates in their entirety are Hispanic?
	Oh, I'd say at least half.
	At least.
	If not, probably 60 to 70 percent.
	Why don't you hang out with the whites?
	You should hang out with the peckerheads.
	There's hardly any in here.
	You just said half of them are white.
	No, she said half are Mexican.
	No, I said 50-70% are Hispanic.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah.
	What a mess.
	So your trial's already begun?
	No, no.
	I go back for my, uh, to set trial dates on the 24th of February.
	If I don't get killed first, if I don't get stabbed up by these illegals before then.
	I thought it was January 26 was coming up.
	24th.
	Oh, it's the 24th of February.
	Yeah.
	What a mess.
	Five years.
	Not exactly a speedy trial.
	Four.
	Four years.
	It's been four years to the day as of February 1st.
	What the fuck is that?
	I know.
	Yeah.
	Well, you know what?
	Because they have to process all these illegals instead of deporting them like they should.
	They just house them in here.
	But if anyone should be waiting four years, it should be the illegals.
	No, no.
	They love them.
	They keep stuffing them in here and then they give them preferential treatment.
	I literally complained about this.
	And they don't want to take all their tortillas and beans away, so they let them just stuff their faces in here.
	This illegal I was housed with, she got a free sinus surgery.
	She gets all kinds of free surgeries here at the hospital, too.
	Wow.
	Because she said, oh, it's too expensive to get in Honduras.
	I'm not kidding.
	Unbelievable.
	Well, you're on the air.
	I should have mentioned that earlier.
	Is she happy with her attorney?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, good.
	Well, I'm glad everybody knows this is what's happening here in the jail.
	The illegals, I think, are trying to get themselves arrested so they can get free surgery.
	We have a cop here who's asking, are you happy with your attorney?
	You know what?
	I actually, my attorney now, he's actually pretty good.
	But, you know, he's working within a very corrupt system.
	The system is so Corrupt.
	Everybody complains about the cops, but I will say that the cops in the jail are not the problem.
	They're not the problem.
	It's the DAs and the system itself.
	Because I have a pretty good relationship with the cops.
	That's not their fault, you know?
	But the DAs and the criminal justice system in total is the problem.
	And in a lot of it, it's because they make money off of this.
	You know, there's absolutely no incentive to get these cases resolved.
	And in this county, I know they make a lot of money on the housing.
	Just the other day, they picked up an 18-year-old girl from high school.
	From high school.
	Because she just turned 18 years old.
	Within the last month, she texted her underage boyfriend pictures of herself naked.
	And his, you know, the boyfriend I think was 16 or 17 and his parents saw the pictures and they arrested her.
	So they're looking for customers?
	Yeah, that's basically it.
	Well look, I mean, this is what happens when you have a giant welfare state.
	People don't understand this.
	A giant welfare state necessitates a giant criminal justice system.
	So all these people who are out there who are Democrats and they vote for a giant welfare state, well guess what?
	You need a giant criminal justice system to go with it.
	I agree.
	Mercedes, we gotta go.
	We gotta take another call.
	But thanks for calling.
	Let's catch up again soon.
	Bye.
	Love you.
	Love you, babe.
	Hey, everyone.
	Secure the borders.
	Vote to secure these fucking borders.
	You have no idea what you guys are getting yourselves into.
	Okay, we're hearing it from the horse's mouth.
	Someone on the front lines.
	Okay, bye.
	Bye.
	You know what I've noticed about people in jail?
	They want to chat.
	They got nothing else to do.
	Like, when we were visiting Max and John Upstate, I had all these different, like, topics already.
	Like, well, I can tell them about this.
	And then this went on with, like, there was a Republican politician who was assassinated.
	And, oh, the chat GPT can do Jimi Hendrix songs.
	But you get there with your little agenda, and they're like, so here's what's going on.
	So these fucking guys, they said no vegetables in the commissary.
	So we had to fight.
	And the CEOs are now pissed at me because I got vegetables in the commissary.
	You know what it is?
	I have a whole agenda here, why are you talking so much?
	They want to be heard for a change, that's the difference.
	They've been locked up and they want a vent.
	And I think they're usually talking to retards.
	So they talk to someone with over 100 IQ and it's like, I got a lot of catching up to do.
	Pretty much.
	Because I bet when they're talking, no offense Addy, but I bet when they're talking to prisoners, they're just like, so you want vegetables in the commissary?
	To eat them, right?
	Yes, to eat them.
	Jesus, stay with me Ray.
	How many times have we been through this?
	What was that?
	Is Mercedes watching the show?
	No, she's in jail.
	Oh, I don't know.
	They got iPads now.
	How does she know?
	New York State Prison.
	If she called the line, she'd be able to hear the show on hold.
	She calls me 50 times a day.
	So through trial and error, she's discovered that we do the shows Thursday nights.
	Mm-hmm.
	We got some more just to catch everyone up.
	She was accused of molesting her daughter How old was the daughter 11?
	Oh?
	She they said that she was filming porn with her daughter Obviously I want all pedophiles to die 100% but this is someone I've known very I know her as well as you John I Okay.
	The only evidence is word of mouth.
	I've known her for years and years and years.
	Possibly coached.
	Oh do they got any film on it?
	Zero evidence, zero nothing.
	She was in a custody battle with her husband, her ex-husband.
	She accused him of pedophilia because he got Herpes from a 16 year old prostitute in Asia.
	And she goes, I don't trust you around my daughter.
	I don't know, not even sure I want her to see you ever again.
	You're out there fucking, fucking 16 year olds.
	And then coincidentally, right after that, uh, the daughter has this story about filming porn and stuff.
	So they go to the house.
	There are cameras around the bed.
	Yeah, she's a porn star.
	And then they found meth and guns.
	The guns were all legal and yeah, porn stars do meth.
	I'm not a fan of porn.
	I don't think you should do meth, but... I like porn and meth.
	Yeah.
	The reason I tend to lean on her side is because it's just the fact that she's been locked up so long with no trial.
	She gave them all of her computers, everything.
	Take it away.
	Go through everything.
	Did they offer her a plea?
	I don't think so.
	Nothing's begun.
	There's no way in the world I would... She can't get bail?
	Nope, no bail.
	Isn't there some weird thing with San Bernardino County?
	Is that where she is, San Bernardino?
	Yeah, San Bernardino.
	Or Henderson.
	Henderson and Bonner.
	Rancho Cucamonga.
	Oh, okay.
	Shit, he thought they'd let... California, they'd let her be free already.
	She'd be a hero out there.
	But she's a Trump supporter.
	That's why it's part of the... But she's a Trump supporter, and I do think it was really curious that after four years of rotting in jail, her first trial date was January 6th.
	Also, isn't that the one county that you can be locked up without proof or something like that?
	Yeah, that's what she said.
	She told me that it's the one place where they don't need actual evidence.
	Who's the district attorney out there?
	Who's the prosecutor?
	Is it Gavin Newsom's nephew or something?
	One of those levels?
	- You need to go look it up. - I don't know.
	We got some chat reads coming in at $100. - Oh shit. - Fucking Chucky Choms.
	Just shooting in.
	Sorry if you already did it.
	I missed it, Gab.
	You got to play Joe Biden's takedown of trannies.
	We played that, wait, from yesterday?
	It's absolutely Homeric and the most cogent Joe Biden has ever been.
	I know you want to watch it again.
	That's an interesting request.
	We've never been asked to play something from one day ago.
	Like a replay.
	But I'm not against it.
	Yeah, let's pull it up.
	You paid a hundred bucks.
	Some sage advice I got from an old veteran sergeant when I was a rookie.
	There's only two kinds of broads that want to be cops.
	Lesbos and cockhounds.
	We called them cockaholics.
	Like an alcoholic, but they're cock-a-holics.
	Yeah, I figured that.
	Thanks for the explanation.
	That's why I'm here.
	I wasn't gonna ask AI to translate cock-a-holic for me.
	What is the true definition?
	They get addicted to what the dick did.
	Gavin, have you ever come across the IG profile Old Vice?
	Oh, whoever's running it somehow has access to a lot of Old Vice content and they so far completely left you out of the equation.
	It almost seems like they're going out of their way to attract an audience based on old school Vice content without the G-Dog.
	Kind of annoying.
	Unless it's run by you, then I get it.
	Keep it up.
	That's funny because when I started reading that, I was like, I have all the old issues.
	Maybe I can help him.
	But apparently not.
	Pull that up, Jamie.
	Why do police always arrest the man in a domestic dispute, even if it's clear the man did nothing?
	Lawyers tell men not to call the police or on abuse of female partners because the cops will just show up and arrest the man.
	Gentlemen, can you field that question?
	One of the tricks with domestic disputes, you ever hear the old expression, the first one to call 911 wins?
	So, when you get a 9-1-1 call, you say, hey, I'm being, this is what's happening, my husband's beating the cock out of me.
	So when the 9-1-1 dispatcher gets that call, they're gonna give it to the sector and say, we have a male beating a female.
	So, the cop's going in with a predetermined idea that this is what's going on.
	Well, also, after the O.J.
	Simpson incident, there became mandatory arrest scenarios, which took the discretion away from the police.
	I agree with him 100%.
	The question is, why do they always arrest the man?
	And I did not always arrest the man.
	Right.
	I didn't either.
	If there was the primary aggressor, if they were both hitting each other, I'd lock up the primary aggressor.
	Ryan, get rid of that black box.
	It's fucking annoying.
	What would you do if not your wife, right?
	We know all your wives are sane, but you're with some crazy bitch, you're divorced, you're with some chick you met on Tinder, and she's scratching your face, you're bleeding, and she's trashing the fucking kitchen.
	What would you do?
	Tim Dickman.
	She's beating me up.
	I'd call 9-1-1 and I wouldn't hit her.
	I wouldn't touch her.
	You'd call 9-1-1?
	Yeah, like the guy from the, uh, remember Tony Katane was beaten up?
	She was married to a baseball player, and she was in the car, and she was, she was, uh, she had her stiletto heel, and she was just, just clawing him with the heel, and he didn't do anything.
	He just continued to drive, and she just, and then he got to, got home, called, called the police, and, uh... But why call the police?
	So you have it on record, and yeah, and also that you, you have to call first, you know?
	Because if you hit her, you're gonna get locked.
	No, I'm saying, but what about, I'm not offering an opinion here, but what about just nothing?
	Just do nothing?
	Just bleed.
	But then if she calls him on you, then you're fucked.
	No, the cop's gonna show up and you'll be covered in blood going, hello, I beat the shit out of this woman, I guess.
	I guess if you don't want her locked up, then yeah, just be a man.
	For the guys who don't do anything, they just sit there and bleed?
	It's called cuck.
	What about you, Neil?
	You're with a crazy Cambodian chick.
	She's trying to bite your face off.
	What would you do?
	I would tie her in a knot and just sit on top of her.
	That's the end of it.
	But with the original question with the caller, You know a lot of times you know the guy wants to hesitate to call right?
	But the female will call and then the guy will want to lodge a complaint as well and then you're at that weird little situation where you got a cross-complaint situation and that's only handled by the DA's office you know where we worked.
	So if you want to lodge a complaint against the wife who just called 9-1-1 on you but you weren't the original aggressor then the DA's office has to handle that.
	Well, isn't the problem, too, you call the cops on her, then she's like, oh yeah, you want to play hardball?
	He beat the shit out of me every day this month, just as a counter to your thing, and now you're like, oh great, now I've got to defend this mythical beating I was doing.
	It's a shit show.
	The last thing any police officer wants to deal with is a domestic dispute.
	It's a shit show regardless.
	All right, John, you're next.
	Psychotic lunatic.
	You're divorced.
	You started dating again.
	You've got these gouges out of your face.
	Am I tapping that ass good or what?
	Yes.
	Listen, once she started to gorge me, you know, that wouldn't happen.
	I would do what Matt would do.
	I'd fucking clock her.
	You'd punch her in the face?
	I'd clock her, but you know, just to stop her, and then I'd sit on her.
	But I wouldn't fucking let her fucking gouge me.
	No, no, no.
	Because she's gonna lie no matter what.
	She's gonna fucking, when the cops get there, she's gonna have a fucking mountain of bullshit to tell them.
	The next time she's gonna stab you.
	Yeah.
	The time after that, she's gonna shoot you.
	But no, once she starts grabbing me, you know, What an amazing variety of responses.
	Maddie, you are with a new lady, you're madly in love.
	No, Maddie's with a guy.
	You've implied... Your boyfriend's hysterical.
	No, you're with the new crazy chick, sex is awesome, but you've implied you might want to move on and she's fucking crazy.
	She just threw a casserole dish out your window of your shitty little kitchen.
	And she has a penis.
	She has Filipino housemaid when she's young.
	She's whipping her penis out.
	Her hairy back.
	Pissing on everything.
	What do you do?
	I have quite a few of, uh, me and my ex-wife.
	No, no, none of it ever hit her or anything, but she would love to call the cops.
	Is that all you can do?
	Just to talk?
	I went to jail every time.
	So you would call the cops?
	No, she would call the cops on me.
	Right, but what would you do?
	I would physically remove her from my house.
	Close the door.
	You'd push her out the front door, close the door.
	Whatever it took to get her outside.
	And then what?
	Now she's outside screaming.
	Now she's whipping rocks at the house.
	She broke another window.
	A neighbor will call.
	I'm not calling.
	Huh.
	Cause Matty's got warrants.
	John, could you scoot a little more towards Dickman?
	What would Gavin do?
	Well I've been in this situation when I was dating my wife she was hysterical and I just decided for every 12 times she hits me I'm gonna hit her once.
	So I would go 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12.
	Oh, closed hand, too.
	And she would go flying across the room.
	She had a big purple bruise on her chest the next day.
	Purple bruise!
	And then she'd come back and be like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
	Purple pre-workout.
	Yeah.
	It's purple fitness.
	Thank God I never crossed that bridge with any of my... Yeah, I never got physical with my ex-wife.
	When Indians are drunk, they take on a new personality.
	Talk about two-spirit, they become a different person.
	So like, I've never hit my wife.
	I hit that crazy squaw that fucking hit me 24 times, but I've never hit my wife.
	What's that clip up there?
	It's gonna snap.
	Yeah, I guess that was goodness.
	And then Joe Biden.
	Oh, right.
	I don't understand how much pressure these guys are under.
	How much pressure these guys are under?
	Wow.
	You have no womb.
	You have no ovaries.
	You have no eggs.
	You're a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature's perfection.
	Wow.
	Wow, he says better than you.
	The validation you get is two-faced and half-hearted.
	Behind your back, people mock you.
	Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you.
	Your friends laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
	Men are utterly repulsed by you.
	Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency.
	Even trannies who passed look uncanny and unnatural to a man.
	Your bone structure is a dead giveaway.
	And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected ax wound.
	You will never be happy.
	You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be okay.
	But deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
	Eventually it'll be too much to bear.
	You'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss.
	Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment.
	Oh my god.
	They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there.
	Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy Is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.
	This is what you chose.
	There's no turning back.
	It'd be nice if they could make his lips move.
	I'd vote for that guy.
	That's a great guy.
	Here's one with his lips moving.
	Oh, there is one?
	To the words.
	The writing is abnormally good.
	Yeah, what is that?
	AI's not doing the writing.
	Somebody wrote it.
	No, it's someone writing that, yeah.
	But whoever's writing that, dude, you need to get a job in the writing field.
	You're good.
	We have, if I can... Alright, we're past 10 o'clock.
	3-0-7.
	Oh, 3-0-7!
	What era code is that?
	I don't know.
	Go ahead, 3-0-7.
	- What era code is that? - I don't know.
	- No, that's not it. - Go ahead, 307. - Hello.
	- Matty.
	Finally, a chick!
	It's your new friend, Little Blondage.
	Hey, what's going on, girl?
	I just wanted to call to tell you guys I appreciate giving a platform to censored people.
	I'm one of those people, so... Why are you censored?
	Well, because we... me and my husband just speak facts.
	And apparently that's racist and stuff.
	So we're huge fans.
	We always have been.
	And, uh, I'm a sexist.
	I get a kick out of your stupid man brain, but, uh, well, I love you, I guess.
	Alrighty.
	I appreciate it.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	Hey, and, and I just want to say real quick, don't, But you're always yelling at Ryan for doing stuff, because he's always doing stuff.
	Yeah, for example Ryan, when I say thanks for calling, you hang up.
	That's what thanks for calling means.
	It's a polite way to hang up.
	She's gonna say something nice about me.
	Thanks for calling.
	He's waiting for her to hang up.
	Tune in, dude.
	Do your fucking job.
	See you later!
	Here's a letter here.
	I received my 2022 Lexus GX and there are a ton of changes from my previous 2018, like the LED lights.
	When I was driving a couple weeks ago, I thought I was turning the brights on by accident.
	After it happened a couple more times, I realized they were going on automatically.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Then he adds, what the fuck?
	They were going on and off, even when I didn't need it.
	The lights reminded me of that Glenn Close scene in Fatal Attraction.
	Click, click, click, click, click.
	Shut up!
	I was so annoyed, so I immediately figured out how to disable it.
	Yes, I'm a chick and I did it all by myself.
	Oh, this is from a woman?
	Wow.
	Two women.
	Some loser probably thought it would be a good idea to automate the lights like windshield wipers.
	Fucking idiots.
	I love you more than a friend.
	So yeah, it's this dumb thing where if there's no one around it gives you high beams.
	And that's fine if you live in fuckin' rural Montana.
	In the middle of nowhere, maybe.
	But no one lives in rural Montana.
	So why is that a thing?
	I want to like do U-turns and chase them and then pull them over and be like, did you have your high beams on?
	I'm not mad if you didn't, but did you?
	I just want to know.
	I love the days when you had to hit the little button on the floor.
	Right.
	A little clicker.
	Was that 1979?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, my 79 Firebird had that actually.
	Here's another guy.
	I think younger generations think it's an option.
	They're scared of the dark and want to see everything in high def like they're 4K TV.
	That's a good explanation.
	Yeah, I think Zoomers... Our dads taught us to drive.
	We took lessons, I guess.
	But our dads also were teaching us to drive.
	And they're like, don't put your fucking... My dad was from the Bronx for some reason.
	Don't put your fucking high beams on, asshole.
	Yeah, you're supposed to feel like a sense of shame when somebody brights you.
	The first car I drove was a police car.
	I grew up in the Bronx.
	Went to the Navy at 17.
	When I got out, I took the police test.
	I worked for the post office, but then I took the police test and he said, hey, you need a driver's license.
	I was like, what the fuck?
	Wow.
	And I took the fucking driver's license.
	I fucking got my learner's permit.
	Then I got this.
	I didn't have a driver and I was driving.
	Wait, what do you mean, what the fuck?
	You didn't think there'd be driving involved in being a cop?
	Well, I figured if he got a part, I'd let him drive.
	Did you do the high-speed course?
	I did that.
	I did that in Floyd Bennett Field.
	What the fucking... Yeah, I had no experience at all.
	I flew out to Las Vegas with a friend of mine.
	He taught me how to drive in the desert, but... You know, when you grow up in the Bronx, nobody learns.
	You don't drive until you're 21, 22 years old.
	You take the fucking Iron Horse.
	I almost didn't become a cop because I had so many speeding tickets.
	They almost wouldn't let me.
	It's frowned upon.
	Let's do one more call.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	We got 928.
	You're on the late.
	How you doing?
	Hey man.
	What's going on?
	You're the last caller.
	This better be good.
	I had a question specifically for the group of police officers that are on the show tonight.
	Specifically?
	Specifically.
	We're on the Atlantic.
	Do you guys know anything about the Selective Traffic Enforcement Program and what do you think about it?
	If you're against it, what do you think, you know, citizens can do to stop it?
	It's basically a federal grant program that gives police officers in different states quotas or gives them monetary incentives to pull people over and ID them.
	To ID them?
	Wow, that's a real in-the-weeds fuckin' call.
	I'm not familiar.
	They have different programs and... I know where you're getting at.
	They have different programs like that damn, or the mad, Mothers Against... I'm like, damn, Drunks Against Mad Mothers.
	But they have...
	Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, so if you see one of those cars in a small town with the circle around it, they're getting a federal, what do you call it, grant for that car.
	They're on overtime.
	Right, so those officers, they gotta go out there and they gotta make X amount of arrests.
	There's distracted driving, there's buckle up New York, there's all kinds of, you go out and they just want you to target CEOs.
	You gotta go out there, they're getting money for it.
	Is that what you're talking about?
	Yeah, that's basically what I'm talking about.
	But in my opinion, the taxpayers wouldn't vote for something like that.
	The people that are funding the Sheriff's Department or the local police department, they wouldn't want that.
	Yet the federal government's coming in and saying, we're going to offer your police station money.
	It's the insurance companies that are pushing that.
	In the government, that you have these people pushing everyone, but you have the insurance companies that are, what do you call it, pushing that to the government to try to get the revenue going.
	Yeah, they got the seatbelt laws passed.
	Yeah, they may not want it, but they want the dollars.
	The BAC levels dropped, and yeah.
	Yeah, that's total bullshit.
	They should bring the drinking age back to 18.
	We made a lot of money on those details, though.
	Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it.
	Was that an off-duty job?
	No, it's overtime.
	It's all overtime.
	Those details that are federally funded are overtime.
	And if you don't come in with a certain number, you're not getting the detail the next time around.
	You can do it once, but then the sergeant will say, alright, you fucked me once, you're not getting it again.
	You're not getting it again.
	They're just dangling the carrot.
	So, bad idea.
	Don't do it.
	Don't do what?
	Have incentives for cops for these things.
	No, no, no.
	Now that I'm retired and I'm a taxpayer, absolutely not.
	It's a money maker for the police.
	It's good for the police, but it sucks for the citizens.
	Like, I understand wherever town, where are you from?
	I'm from Northern Arizona.
	So you're in Arizona, you're working for a living, and you're coming home from work, This cop needs to get somebody with a seatbelt.
	You don't put your seatbelt on, he has to bang you.
	But he's not banging you because he wants to bang you, he's banging you because he needs a quota.
	So it's wrong.
	Right, I've had that exact situation happen and, you know, here in Arizona you're not legally allowed to, it's a, you can't stop someone for a seatbelt violation.
	So they'll come up with something else and lie and say, oh you were over the fog line.
	And you're like, I know that's not true.
	But then they'll be like, well now I'm gonna get you through.
	Well, they're very creative cops out there in Arizona.
	God bless them.
	All right, that's a great bummer ending to the show.
	Thanks for calling.
	I was in over 45 countries.
	48, 45.
	I'm gonna be in the Riptide bar in Florida the next couple weeks.
	If anybody from Hollywood, Florida, if any of the locals are down there, I'll be in the Riptide.
	Just so that people know.
	Okay.
	Is that a gay bar?
	BEAST!
	AND RED PILLS!
	You know what's crazy, Neil?
	From far away, the way the shadows on your hat circle under your eyes, it looks like you're wearing tons and tons of eyeliner.
	Guy liner?
	Take the hat off.
	Yeah.
	Guy liner.
	It looks fine close up, but look at the zoom out.
	Oh wow.
	You look like you're wearing cumbrellas.
	Like you're Izzy Stradland or something.
	Nice!
	Go fuck yourself.
	Look at that, you see that?
	Can you see what we see?
	Yeah, yeah, I can see.
	Look straight ahead.
	You have to look straight in the camera.
	Look straight ahead and you have giant eyelashes on.
	Is it gay?
	No, it's a shadow from your brow.
	It's like a caterpillar.
	Alright folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	A little blotting.
	Let's go!

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