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Oct. 28, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:59:10

S04E179 - ROOM 13B

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes Great band.
	The only ones.
	Another Girl, Another Planet.
	Kind of a cursed band, though, because that song was a massive hit pre-punk 76, or I guess the same year as Punk began.
	And they could just never get another hit.
	One hit wonder.
	That must suck as a band.
	You do a show and everyone's waiting for Another Girl Another Planet.
	You're like, we got plenty of other songs.
	They even had a comeback in 07, 08.
	And people were like, man, can you just do Another Girl Another Planet, please?
	Hits are a curse.
	You sell your soul to the devil to get a hit, and then you have to play it for the rest of your life.
	It's funny when you get older, the last thing you would ever want to be is in a band.
	And so I see all these bands, and when I was young, I was like, that must rock.
	Then I was in a band for many years.
	And I go, and it was awesome when I was like 18 to 20, early 20s.
	But as an old man, I couldn't imagine being on tour.
	Even that Penn State show.
	Sitting in the hotel room at nine going, I got seven hours to kill?
	Fuck.
	You get to fuck groupies.
	Yeah, I guess.
	At night.
	Now it's morning.
	You're hungover.
	And there's a retarded slut in your bed.
	So you want to get breakfast and talk about how awesome I am?
	No.
	I saw.
	First of all, I want to make something clear, Ryan.
	I want to break up with you.
	Why does that mean?
	What does that entail?
	Why does that mean?
	First, because you're fixing your hair.
	So that way I could look more like Dinesh.
	Oh, well, Dinesh, I'm glad you're on the show.
	I haven't been able to work out because I fractured my hand.
	So I jogged a bit, but I don't know.
	Sure, jogging is good.
	You can bounce around like a doad.
	But because Ryan is working out all the time, he needs calories.
	So he keeps going, I'm going to get food.
	You want food?
	And you're making me eat when I wouldn't normally eat.
	So I'm getting fat.
	Like, you know, when girls' periods synchronize?
	Our eating habits are synchronized.
	I want to desynchronize.
	Oh, I see.
	Well, you want to get food, go get food.
	We're not getting food together anymore.
	Well, maybe that's why I got a cough cough and I didn't get you one.
	That's another one, too.
	Because I'll bring in coffee's kind of late and I'll feel bad because you don't like to drink coffee late because then you can't sleep.
	I don't think I had a coffee today.
	No.
	But the reason that you are eating so much is because you need calories, right, to get ripped.
	Yes.
	Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And it is crazy how fucking jacked you have things, dude.
	And if anyone has seen your Instagram, it's amazing.
	Pull up your Instagram one.
	I'm pinned off and this is not me.
	Like, dude, you're fucking shredded.
	I was getting very excited for a second, but.
	Look at that.
	Do you do videos where you show your actual workout?
	I don't.
	Look at those packs, Ryan.
	You're fucking killing it, man.
	He is doing a great job, yes.
	You are.
	Oh, you're giving you giving as the finger?
	It's kind of like the P.O.V. Michelangelo, the 16th Chapel.
	The 16th?
	Is that comes after the 14th?
	17th.
	Whoa.
	I don't think I could bench press that much.
	I think I could do like 140.
	He probably has an advantage because smaller arms means less range of.
	How much can you bench press?
	I don't know.
	I'm not one of those guys that bench press stuff.
	I only do dumbbells.
	It's healthier on the joints.
	And a lot of the weightlifting community has acknowledged this already, that benching with a barbell is kind of obsolete.
	Oh, good.
	I'm glad I spent $2,500 on a fucking weight set.
	No, it's great.
	But if you start going up in weight and it hurts your joints, that's a problem.
	But I think you'll be good forever.
	Oh, my God.
	No.
	Jokes aside, that was very mean.
	I'm sorry.
	And I'm supposed to encourage you.
	That shirt that he's wearing, that is a company that my ex-band member, Jason, and our high school band, Jason Webb, started this company.
	The name of our band was Approaching Seven.
	That means almost perfect.
	And he took that name and used it to, and that was a successful thing.
	So he gave you that shirt?
	It's hurtful.
	Also, though he looks tough, Ryan is petrified of cacti.
	This isn't me.
	Look how scared Ryan gets when he makes a sound.
	laughing
	Oh, Ryan's sad.
	That's not me.
	You shaved your head?
	That's a different human child, you see.
	I don't want to go.
	I like videos of people terrorizing children.
	Like, that's fine.
	That's just a little baby crying, but something that they were trying to use to make them happy.
	But, like, clowns scaring kids and kids screaming and freaking out.
	I'm kind of borderline with those Jimmy Kimmel things where he says, we ate all your Halloween candy and they cry.
	I guess I don't like that.
	I'm not a pussy.
	I don't mind seeing kids wipe out and stuff.
	But I don't know.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I'm not a big.
	Yeah, that's it.
	I don't like hurting children.
	Sorry.
	Especially in this day and age with all this drag queen shit going on.
	Speaking of the war on kids, 1-5, Disney's putting on a drag queen thing.
	We covered a lot of drag queen stuff yesterday.
	Brewery, North Carolina is holding a Disney-themed all-ages drag brunch.
	One of the performers describes their performances as inspired by Satanism.
	Like, do they look these people up?
	I know what you're saying, baby monsters.
	You're going to be like, yeah, they do.
	It's a plan.
	I don't think it's that sinister.
	I think it's retarded.
	I think 90% of the people behind these dumb drag queen story era things are doing it out of spite for conservatives.
	They're doing it because it makes me mad.
	And I'm like, please, don't do it because it makes me mad.
	Don't do it because you're linking children to pedophiles and sexualizing them.
	I mean, I'm preaching to the converted.
	They should really make a statement and say, as the LGBT community is very inclusive and we don't like judging people.
	But because of that, and because we work in such close proximity to children, we have to be very, very sure of who we accept.
	No, don't even do that.
	Just say drag queens are sexual.
	That's it.
	That's our beef.
	Yeah.
	But here's the thing.
	Even if they looked into all of them, they all have weird dirt on them.
	So that vetting process alone would probably, you know, dramatically reduce the drags.
	We're not mad at fags reading stories.
	You get one of the queer eye for the straight guy fucking dudes, get him in there.
	He can mince around and read a book.
	We don't care.
	Although I think there is a disproportionate representation of pedophiles in the gay community.
	Oh, yeah, what about priests?
	They're gay.
	So sorry about that.
	This fucking documentary looks really intense.
	Coming out in November.
	1-4.
	I jumped ahead.
	it's called died suddenly about the vaccine Streaming November 21st.
	We should do a live viewing.
	These people know.
	These people know.
	Who knows?
	The governments know.
	This has been well planned.
	This is Agenda 2030.
	This is the great reset.
	Somebody mentioned to go onto Google and go into the news section and then type in died suddenly.
	And lo and behold, here's a whole listing of people, of articles, of people within that last week who died suddenly.
	Older people, but a lot of younger people throughout, around the world.
	And then you find out they were vaccinated.
	It's just there's something different about the blood.
	Something's causing this.
	Somebody needs to look into it.
	Wait, just stop this.
	This is what annoys me about documentaries.
	You're a scientist, so you have to follow a scientific protocol.
	So if you're talking about there being a lot of died suddenly, you have to show me that when you Googled that seven years ago, it was different results.
	You need, what's it called, a safety, placebo?
	A control?
	A control.
	So that didn't tell me anything.
	Plus, what, 5 billion people got vaccinated?
	So yeah, a lot of people who died suddenly are going to be vaccinated.
	So so far, I know it's just a trailer, but so far, you're not being scientific.
	You're not giving me facts.
	But the blood being different, now that is something.
	So they talk to coroners about the blood they drain out of these bodies when they're embalming them.
	And shit is fucking weird all of a sudden.
	That have 30, 40, even 50 years of experience.
	Have you guys ever seen this stuff before?
	And the answer was always, I've never seen anything like it.
	U.S. life insurance companies have reported an overwhelming and unexplainable increase in all-cause deaths among 18 to 49-year-olds.
	That's a 12-sigma event.
	One in 800 years, 12 standard deviations by the man.
	No one's even calculated that.
	It's apocalyptic.
	Who knows?
	Young people are dying these days.
	Oh, yeah.
	This is different.
	This isn't normal.
	The dead can't speak for themselves.
	So therefore, I have to speak for them.
	This is the greatest orchestrated die-off in the history of the world.
	So that looks juicy, huh?
	Deem.
	Call it small A because that is juice A. Wait, you're a guy?
	Nice job.
	Nice job.
	What was I going to say about that?
	That seems pretty fucking damning to me, doesn't it?
	Yeah.
	I'm surprised they let that exist on Twitter.
	Well, it had a warning on it.
	Did you not get a warning first?
	I didn't have to click a warning.
	Elon's in charge now.
	Oh, yeah, that's what I was going to say.
	How many people died from COVID?
	Because maybe if you're trying to call 7 billion, you really got to go Thanos and kill half the world.
	if it's for environmental purposes, and I don't think that overpopulation is destroying the planet, but say you did have that philosophy, like even a billion, a billion on the entire planet, not really helping out.
	I mean, do the streets look barren?
	Our classrooms empty?
	No.
	So if this was an orchestrated genocide to kill us off and prevent overpopulation, I mean, you didn't do shit.
	How many people died of COVID?
	What's taking you so long?
	My phone is charging.
	You weren't looking that up?
	What are you doing over there?
	I was looking at this thing of sudden deaths.
	It said six million.
	Six and a half million.
	Six million out of seven billion?
	If you had seven billion dollars, you wouldn't think twice about spending six million dollars on something.
	Right?
	You saw Megan Kelly?
	Katy Perry or Megan Kelly?
	Megan Kelly.
	No?
	She said that her sister died.
	Oh, yeah.
	She was a while ago, right?
	That's her there, too, right?
	That one, and then there's a couple other in the news that they just dropped dead very recently.
	Dropped dead, as Biden would put it.
	We've got a lot of Biden coming up.
	But before we get to Biden, the spitter has been identified.
	The woman who spat on Alex Stein.
	Lily Frank.
	She's a high school student.
	You know that hideous prof who looks like every cartoon villain in every Pixar movie ever made?
	She is not a professor at that school.
	I don't even think she's a professor.
	She's just a random woman.
	I'm going to sue the fucking pants off of Penn State because my case is that they riled up those students with a week of lectures and notices and emails saying Gavin's coming.
	We're all going to die.
	The fat professor, I didn't know this till recently.
	I was talking to a lawyer.
	She likened me to Dylan Roof.
	What?
	They invited her there.
	She called me Dylan Roof.
	In other words, children, you're going to die.
	Gavin's going to kill you.
	Like Dylan Roof killed those people.
	That was dumb.
	One other news thing.
	I have so many stories that I feel like rushing into them.
	I was talking to a cop today.
	This morning, they came by the studio and said they want to look at our cameras, outdoor cameras, indoor cameras.
	And I'd heard a kid got shot, an aspiring rapper, believe it or not, African-American young man, a youth.
	And I've talked to the guy a couple of times before, and I go, don't investigate.
	Who cares?
	These kids don't give a shit about their lives.
	What are you going to do?
	Catch the bad guy and solve the crime?
	They're just popping each other for no.
	I said, what was the reason?
	He goes, I don't know.
	It's probably something stupid.
	And I go, just don't bother.
	Why bother?
	They don't care about each other's lives.
	Why should you care about their lives?
	And you're risking getting killed.
	And he goes, to tell you the truth, I just want to catch this guy and put him in jail so they don't retaliate and shoot him.
	Because if they do, then I got to do more paperwork.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah.
	These kids are just paperwork.
	It is sad, though.
	You know, this kid could have lived on to go to jail and then have people wear free little jiggy shirts or whatever.
	And rest in peace, moment of silence for all those t-shirts that'll never be made.
	Are you Alex Jones?
	Yep.
	That's the shittiest Alex Jones I've ever heard.
	I don't usually do Alex Jones, but I was back on Scoop's podcast and I did it.
	And, you know, just trying it out here.
	First of all, doing Alex Jones is hacked.
	I told him that.
	And if you were going to do something hacked, at least do it right.
	We did an angle.
	What's an angle on it?
	Arnold Schwarzenegger?
	I did that before here, too.
	Remember I told you I was only doing hacks?
	Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken.
	Well, you're doing a good job of being a shitty imitation dude.
	Thanks.
	So nailed it.
	If you're going for sucking, you nailed it.
	All right, let's just dive right into the show and do some My Pet Bidens.
	I have fucking six pages of content here.
	Let's listen.
	Biden.
	Biden.
	President.
	Sleepy.
	My pet Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	So I can't remember if I talked about this yet, but remember Sidney Watson was on the front page of Daily Mail for complaining that two fat black bitches were crushing her on the plane.
	And so she goes, I can't, like, I can't put my arms down.
	I can't even put my tray table down because their fat is coming into my tray table.
	And so they move her to a much shittier seat.
	She was in the exit row.
	And then they, maybe she couldn't have been in the exit row.
	She could move her tray down.
	But anyway, she had a great seat.
	They move her to a much shittier seat.
	And then she's like, wait a minute.
	Now these two fat bitches, they get a free seat in between them.
	They should have bought two seats.
	So anyway, everyone started freaking out at her because that's racist.
	It's racist to not want to sit next to gigantic fat people because fat people are black.
	And Biden reiterates this when he said extra legroom is racist.
	Some airlines, if you want six more inches between you and the seat in front, you pay more money.
	But you don't know it until you purchase your ticket.
	Look, folks, these are junk fees.
	They're unfair, and they hit marginalized Americans, the hardest, especially low-income folks and people of color.
	They benefit big corporations, not consumers.
	Decision.
	What?
	To pay extra for a fancier seat, which is kind of a pain in the ass.
	There are some airlines with junk fees.
	I agree that junk fees are annoying.
	You know, you get those things, you get some plane ticket, and then there's an extra tax, and then an extra fee, and then a seating fee.
	And then last time I flew, I had to pay $60 for a carry-on to carry on the plane.
	But to make that racist is gay and boring.
	Kamala was doing it.
	According to Biden, they're poor and fat.
	We have this notion that somehow if you're poor, you cannot do it.
	Poor kids are just as bright and just as talent as white kids.
	Yeah, yeah, that was great.
	Just implying.
	Well, if you jump over to 74A, Kamala Harris said that black people are dying because health care is racist.
	Black women are three times more likely to die in connection with childbirth.
	Native women, twice as likely.
	Rural women, one and a half times likely.
	On the issue of black women and Native women, it often has nothing to do with her socioeconomic or educational level.
	It literally has to do with the fact that when she walks into that doctor's office or that clinic or emergency room, she's not taking this seriously.
	Thank you.
	Doctor, there's a woman having complications in room 13B.
	That's the nigger room.
	I don't, I guess, yeah, yeah.
	There's usually black people in that room.
	So why are you telling me this?
	Well, it looks like she could die.
	Yeah, that's why she's in the nigger room.
	You know, the one with the vetting machine with only hot Cheetos?
	How long have you worked at this hospital?
	The one where the soda machine only has sprite?
	13B is for the black and indigenous woman to go die.
	God, we're trying to call the herd here.
	The body knows when it's not being taken seriously, too.
	So no matter what you do to it, no matter what medicine you give it, it knows.
	Like, the takeaway there is that black and indigenous people tend to be less healthy.
	But did you know black women live longer than white men?
	I think it's because we are so stressed out from this bullshit that is foisted upon us.
	I was just thinking this morning, by the way, about Asians and how they totally killed the entire racist debate.
	Like, why do we talk about systemic racism in America?
	I was reading about this Chinese girl who came here with nothing and then she busted her ass and she used to have to sleep in her mom's workplace office closet because the boss didn't know that they were homeless and they would sneak in at night and sleep there and leave early in the morning.
	I guess you'd leave and come back in.
	And now they're all rich.
	So the whole notion that to be non-white in America is a curse and you can never make it is completely destroyed by Asians.
	If it was only rich Asians coming here, you might have an argument.
	And I think that's why African immigrants, like Nigerians, do much better than black Africans.
	And I think it's because you're getting aristocrats and well-educated people if they can afford to come over here.
	Same with Haitians in many cases.
	But with Chinese, you've got dirt-poor Chinese coming.
	You've got illegal Chinese coming.
	You've got Southeast Asians coming.
	And they're all doing much better than whites in a racist country.
	So why does the argument of systemic racism still exist?
	Asians are literally penalized for being so smart.
	They are punished.
	They cannot get into schools that people with lower grades can get into because of their race.
	That's a racist policy.
	White males are penalized too and prevented from getting raises or moving up a ladder in order to fill quotas.
	So maybe I should be clear.
	Racism against blacks is a myth in this country.
	And it's a very easy myth to dispute.
	Speaking of racism, old people cannot pronounce Packy's names.
	Rishi Sonak is the new PM of Britain.
	It's a phonetic name, Rishi Sonak.
	Do you not have to do anything fancy to it?
	News.
	Rishi.
	Rashi.
	Snake is new to the Prime Minister.
	As my brother would say, go figure in the Conservative Party.
	Expected to become the Prime Minister, I think, tomorrow when he goes to see the king.
	Pretty astounding.
	A groundbreaking milestone, and it matters.
	It matters.
	You know, groundbreaking milestone that an aristocrat who went to private schools and is about as Pakistani as me is the prime minister of England.
	I am so sick of this shit.
	And the thing that bothers me, too, is he doesn't go, maybe I'm wrong to assume that British conservatives are racist and they follow the one-drop rule.
	They just go, it happened.
	Even I was talking to a relative of mine.
	I won't say who, but he's a liberal.
	And when Barack Obama was elected, he was like, I can't, I was pretty surprised that America elected Barack Obama.
	And I go, hmm.
	Did you consider maybe that you're wrong about everyone being fucking racist?
	Like, nothing goes in here.
	They're not scientific about it.
	They pursue a hypothesis.
	When they get data that contradicts the hypothesis, they're like, huh.
	And then they just keep plowing.
	Like, go figure.
	And he's not brown.
	He's a white guy.
	His wife's a billionaire.
	His wife's father is the Bill Gates of India.
	They're aristocrats.
	They play cricket.
	Cricket might even be below them.
	I think they play fucking polo.
	They go fox hunting.
	The guy, the only people that are offended by this are like retarded Nazi skinheads.
	So 0.0000000000001% of the population.
	And they're like, ha ha!
	Clapping.
	Oh.
	Isn't it kind of smart that he was like, he said the name during the clap, though?
	That's kind of bright for him.
	He's like, Sanook.
	He gave him an Eskimo name.
	Did you see this, by the way?
	He said, for real.
	By the way, this is Be Real.
	It's that Be Real app.
	What?
	There's an app called Be Real, so it asks you to post from your front camera and back camera at the same time.
	So you have to be genuine about whatever you're doing.
	You can't just polish your life.
	It's like, this is really what you're doing.
	There he is with Indian Sebastian Maniscalco and Fauci.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	You should get yours too, for real.
	It's be real, idiot.
	Right.
	For real.
	I don't know who that is.
	That's a random brown dude.
	That's a random brown.
	Sebastian Manascar.
	No, he doesn't.
	He's no Djibouti.
	He's like, hello, darling.
	Oh, sir.
	I was absolutely famished today, but it was only tea time, so I think I overdid it on the crumpets.
	Whoa, they voted for that guy?
	Wow, maybe racism is finally over.
	Okay.
	Now, this is a famous one.
	Glenn Beck's theory on this clip is that he fell asleep and they edited it out.
	Canada Day.
	Edited.
	Edited.
	In the edited beginning, in the digning.
	6'5.
	I have not made that formal decision, but it's my intention.
	You're going to run again.
	My intention to run again.
	And we'll have time to make that decision.
	Dr. Biden is for it.
	Mr. President.
	Dr. Biden thinks that my wife thinks that we're doing something very important.
	I have a lot of information.
	Joe Biden is fucking, please don't run again.
	Just die.
	This is exhausting dragging you around.
	You keep getting lost, dude.
	But I like Beck's theory that what they cut out there was a much more embarrassing fade-out and possibly a nap.
	Because every time you see MSNBC 60 Minutes or anyone on the left show you Joe, you're seeing a sanitized Joe.
	And that sanitized Joe is pretty dirty.
	It could even be a split screen in the middle there when they do the wide.
	Mr. Biden is for it.
	Mr. President.
	Oh.
	Dr. Biden thinks.
	Maybe they had him put that in there.
	Mr. President.
	Oh.
	Yeah, that sounded very fake, too.
	Mr. President.
	Oh.
	Like when you feel that way.
	When there's a long pause and you say, Mr. President, and the person starts talking, you don't go, oh.
	Right.
	I mean, you might do that if someone comes out of a coma.
	Yeah.
	Hey, oh, hey, nurse, he's up.
	He's awake.
	Is he in the nigger room?
	Yeah, we're black.
	No one gives a shit.
	Ah, fuck.
	Here he talked about this year, like it's 1922.
	In 1922, the price for one blood pressure drug that millions of Medicare patients, beneficiaries rely on, went up one, went up by 500%.
	500%.
	This is the problem with.
	Stop, stop.
	This is the problem with a president who doesn't speak English.
	You're sitting there taking his words literally and you're like, wait a minute.
	So pharmaceuticals were going up 500% back in 1922?
	How much are they now?
	Infinity dollars?
	How much is it?
	$13 trillion, a billion, a zillion, a billion, a million per pill?
	Used to treat autoimmune conditions.
	Increased by $1,000 this year.
	$1,000?
	That's 1922, Joe.
	Those of you on it, you'll know.
	You're 100 years old.
	It's outrageous.
	But this year, the American people won.
	Why are she so sexy and cool?
	Big pharma lost.
	Big pharma lost.
	She's a weird sign language chick.
	She's way too cool and sloppy.
	Like, she looks like she's signing reggae, dub, singers and players.
	Look at her.
	She's imbuing emotions that Joe doesn't have.
	Went up one.
	Went up by 500%.
	500%.
	Another drug used to treat autoimmune conditions increased by $1,000 this year.
	So he appeared with Fetterman.
	And we'll get into Fetterman shortly.
	This is going to be a very long show, folks.
	He appeared with Fetterman.
	First, they said, no, you're going to make Fetterman look bad.
	And then Fetterman started being more retarded than he'd ever been before.
	And they went, actually, Biden is a step up.
	It was like Fetterman, Biden.
	And then Fetterman went here.
	And they went, oh, shit, we got to get Biden back up to Biden levels.
	So they invited him over for ice cream.
	It's like an ugly chick hanging out with a fat, ugly chick with a huge lump on her neck.
	Well, it's like in my book, my worst lay ever of my life was this girl that I was dying to fuck in high school.
	And then she was like, in your dreams.
	And then decades went by.
	And I was 32, killing it with vice, just moved to New York.
	And she had gotten a huge fat ass.
	She wasn't fat per se, but she had a fat ass.
	And I should have said, see you when you come back down.
	And she came back down.
	I got her.
	And it was the worst sex ever.
	You can read all about it in the Death of the Cool.
	She emailed me the next day.
	I don't know if this is in the book.
	And she said, sorry for being such a sexual lame-mo last night.
	I was like, I'm never speaking to you again.
	No need to respond.
	You're in room 13B as far as I'm concerned.
	That's a good name for today's show.
	That's Fetterman.
	You see him back there?
	Mr. Fetterman, why'd you decide to be up here with Biden now?
	Why'd you decide to appear together now?
	He's not talking to you, Joe.
	Sir, why don't more candidates want to be seen in public with you like Mr. Fetterman?
	What are you talking about?
	Tim Ryan in Ohio said he doesn't want you there.
	Warnock said what he said.
	Do you think they're making a mistake?
	No, there are 16 here.
	I've already gone in 40, 10, a lot more than that.
	Another 20 or so.
	Oh my god, I understood that.
	Whoa.
	Dude, this is like I see dead people.
	I can understand Joe Biden.
	I'm an X-Men.
	I have to join the Justice League.
	I have a special superpower.
	He said 16, I've already done 16 appearances with various candidates that are running, and there's a lot more who have asked.
	What are you talking about?
	Tim Ryan in Ohio said he doesn't want you there.
	Warnock said wouldn't say.
	Do you think they're making a mistake?
	No, by 16 there, I've already gone in 40, and a lot more VAST, another 20 or so.
	I'm going to be going here.
	A lot more Avast, another 20 or so.
	I'm going to get on it.
	And Fetterman just slinks out.
	Dude, I need to work at the White House.
	I'll be objective.
	I don't like Joe Biden, but I'm a professional.
	So I will be its translator from English to English.
	Like, Jill Biden should want me at the White House.
	I can help you, Jill.
	What did he say?
	He said he doesn't want tea.
	He's not thirsty, but he'd like to take a nap.
	Okay, tell him fine.
	Have a nap.
	Someone else tried to translate it and failed.
	This is how most people hear Joe.
	Dude, I need to work for the administration.
	Just for the sake of this country, I can speak Joe Biden.
	Making a mistake?
	No, by 16, they're on.
	I've already gone in for yet, and a lot more are grass.
	Another 20 or so.
	I'm going to be on it.
	Tim Ryan in Ohio said he doesn't want you there.
	Here he is wandering through the woods.
	He's just perpetually lost.
	This is the leader of the free world, folks.
	We're not living in Turkey.
	We're not living in Norway.
	We're not a small country.
	We are the country.
	The top country in the world.
	The leader of everything.
	And this is the guy at the helm.
	Mr. Haney.
	Sebastian Gorka stole my Mr. Magoo analogy.
	hurt my feelings It's a real-life creepy version of Mr. Magoo.
	Like, guys, now I'm almost like getting sympathetic.
	Have yellow tape on the ground with arrows next to the podium.
	We've all remembered this one, right?
	Oh, look where his hand is.
	Oh my God.
	Holy shit.
	I'm a wanderer I roam around around the world No, serious guys, so you're 30.
	Oh, Lord, look at that.
	Oh.
	Look at the husband smile and the wife get aggressive.
	I'm going this way, Joe.
	Oh, my God.
	He can barely walk.
	Nope, that's not the way.
	Sir.
	You know what you could have?
	You could have a long piece of dental floss that's tied around his wrist.
	And as he starts moving, you just tug it.
	A little shock collar.
	Remember this one?
	That was so weird.
	This is the real greatest hits.
	We've all seen these before, but it's nice to have them compiled, isn't it?
	Maybe that's not so nice.
	We are the global laughingstock because of this fucking guy.
	Wow.
	And it's funny that he was talking earlier about the left not being violent.
	And what we have to watch out for is the mega Republicans.
	Like at my talk on Monday.
	That was fascists who did that.
	The left is not violent.
	It's the right who's violent.
	White supremacists, mostly.
	None of us have ever met one.
	But actually, I guess Richard Spencer is one.
	I think he's the only white supremacist I've ever met.
	Jared Taylor is called one, but he doesn't want blacks to go away or go back to Africa the way Richard Spencer does.
	Jared Taylor just wants white people to have their own communities, restaurants, areas.
	Professor Griff from Public Enemy wants that for blacks.
	So him and Professor Griff are on the same page.
	It's not a thing.
	But anyway, violence against the right is a thing.
	The canvasser for Marco Rubio was brutally beaten and is currently suffering from a broken jaw, internal bleeding, and is going to need facial reconstructive surgery after he had the audacity to go canvass in a Florida neighborhood.
	Now, his attackers came up to him and said, Republicans aren't welcome in this neighborhood, and a beating ensued.
	This comes after Joe Biden's intense rhetoric against his political opposition, labeling MACA Republicans as racist extremist.
	We also have Whoopi Goldberg trying to go on the view and tell Ted Cruz that the left doesn't get violent and lash out when they don't get their way.
	Well, that's funny seeing that this recent attack was politically motivated.
	Also, let's not forget Breitbart's rap sheet of over 380 documented hate crimes against Trump supporters from 2016 through 2020 for, yes, their political affiliation.
	I've also witnessed many of these beatings myself of the elderly on the streets of Washington, D.C., simply for waving an American flag.
	It does seem like ahead of the 2022 midterms and the 2024 elections, the militant left is being reactivated and they're getting violent.
	So be safe.
	Last night a canvasser for Marco Rubio was...
	Ashley Babbitt, that other woman was trampled.
	There was not five cops killed.
	That's a lie.
	Who was hurt at my talk?
	Well, Alex Stein was spat on.
	Proud Boys got punched about 50 times in the face.
	Took it all.
	By the way, DeSantis is awesome.
	I love this clip 7-2 because it shows how they think that they've got a gotcha moment, and we read it and go, That's fucking awesome.
	One of the very fascinating things about our modern media landscape is that people on the right end up sharing things that are supposed to be a hit piece on their favorite candidate, but it's so hilariously ridiculous, it actually makes people like the candidate more.
	I like beer.
	According to a friend, DeSantis would tell Dates he liked Thai food, but pronounced it Thai.
	If they corrected him, he would find an excuse to leave.
	He didn't want a girlfriend who corrected him.
	Wow.
	So the left reads that and goes, what a fucking pig.
	And we read that and go, I'm using that.
	I'm literally, I'm jealous about it.
	You're Indian Sebastian Maniscalco?
	Yeah, I mean, you go to Chipotle with your chaputi, and it's like, come on.
	Hold on a second.
	America's got talent levels.
	I'm three guys at once.
	I'm a trifecta.
	Auraturum Barres.
	I don't even know if I got the two of them down.
	Fuck.
	Sebastian Mandeep Escalco.
	What's the guy from fucking?
	Oh my God, my brain just farted.
	Anil, who's the guy, the packy from Simpsons?
	Apu.
	Apu.
	I'm Apu, Sebastian Maniscalco, and Trump.
	Frankly, thank you for coming.
	I mean, really?
	I went to a Spooky.
	I did to Aman Scalcoco.
	There was a shop in Paris called Apu.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was an Apu-themed shop.
	Here he is, right after we watched the documentary, died suddenly.
	We have him offering us $20 off our grocery bill if we get vaccinated.
	So are they going to keep killing us with this fucking vaccine?
	Biden calls on Americans to get boosted again, get the shot and get five doses.
	There's also a possibility that the vaccine isn't killing us.
	The booster is.
	I talked to a woman who got, she goes, I got the vaccine.
	I felt fine.
	I got the booster.
	And ever since that was a year and a half ago, and ever since then, it hurts when I bend over.
	Like my legs ache.
	And come to think of it, she doesn't come around the bar anymore.
	Her husband does, but they were always a team.
	Now I just see him.
	What the fuck?
	Get the shot.
	$5, $10, $20 off that your drugstore grocery purchase next, or grocery purchase next time at the same time.
	He's reading the copy for the first time, or he's read it and forgotten it.
	So now he's like laughing at it.
	He's like, $20 off the purchase?
	What the fuck?
	He's like the ables who crack each other up going because one of them sneezes and he thinks it's a laugh.
	Get the shot.
	$5, $10, $20 off that your drugstore grocery purchase next or grocery purchase next time at the same time you get the shot.
	That's you reading it like an ad copy that you're like, wait, what?
	Now I got to see those fucking ABBOs.
	Yeah.
	Do you have it handed?
	I have it on the ready.
	Oh, really?
	You and my sister we were born.
	For those of you lucky enough not to have seen this 700 times, this is a popular trainee entertainer in Australia who decided to invite some Aboriginals to come along and play their instruments.
	So the Westerner has his piano, which is a very complex sort of string and percussion instrument at the same time.
	And not to mention the microphone and everything else that Western man has created.
	And then they bring their invention, which is a shitty stick.
	You seem to move through the places, but I feared you lived inside my world so softly.
	sleep.
	Thank you.
	This is actually a flex on ABBOS.
	Yeah.
	So this is my music.
	What have you guys invented?
	And look, they don't even know when to come in.
	has to stop and lean over.
	Roying
	Wait, I'm still not sure if she was laughing.
	Did she start laughing?
	She coughed and then she's like, coughs crack her up.
	She coughed and then she's like, coughs crack her up.
	This is racist.
	This juxtaposition is racist.
	And ABBOs suck.
	I'm sorry.
	Sorry.
	You know when we were doing the Australia tour of Tommy Robinson, Alex Jones, and I, when it was being set up, the organizer called me and he goes, did you say ABBOS cannot be in the Proud Boys?
	They're band?
	And I was like, yeah.
	But it was when we were a Manhattan club and the idea of it ever making it to Australia was unfathomable.
	So I made up this ridiculous rule.
	No ABBOs allowed.
	Every race.
	Every race but ABBOs.
	And it was funny.
	And then it was an issue.
	And now I'm banned from the entire continent.
	And Proud Boys are a terrorist group in New Zealand.
	Yeah, I think more reputable news sources have covered this, but just so we know, this is a major item with COVID where they didn't test to see if the vaccine was transmittable.
	That's not really what this is about, but anyway, they didn't test to see if the vaccine prevented transmission.
	Then they told us that the vaccine prevents transmission.
	And when we saw it was transmitting, we said, wait a minute, what's going on?
	They go, this is actually good.
	What?
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, this is good.
	How's it good?
	Well, because you have the vaccine, you don't care about transmission.
	You're going to be fine.
	Okay, but so now I have totally fine COVID.
	And I've known people who got COVID after the vaccine, and they said it fucking sucked.
	It was like, actually, come to think of it, when you think of people who've had COVID, there's pre-vaccine cases and post-vaccine cases, and they both seem about the same.
	I think Anthony had it.
	You're just in bed for three days.
	We still don't know if we had it, right, Ryan?
	I'm pretty sure I had it.
	I'm pretty sure you did, too.
	We think we had it after West Fest, two WestFests ago.
	I do remember being at the bar, and I couldn't taste anything.
	But I was never bedridden.
	Yeah, it didn't really affect me like that.
	I think it was more of chicken would taste bad and like anything savory.
	Like even fucking french fries.
	They tasted like garbage.
	Yeah.
	It's fucking crazy, man.
	And then we had those weird cobalt farts that are still going strong.
	Yep.
	Sometimes I'll pee and it smells like cobalt.
	Yeah, me too.
	But your daughter's poo smells like poo?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	It smells like real poo, man.
	She's a bad motherfucker, man.
	Your daughter's a bad motherfucker, man.
	Well, usually bad motherfuckers have beaten up someone.
	You smell that shit?
	That shit will knock you out, dude.
	She's a bad motherfucker, man.
	So yeah, go to Kamala.
	Now, let's just assume this is the worst typo in the history of American politics.
	This Delta variant, it spreads faster, and it is in many cases reported to be much more serious in terms of its impact.
	And the vaccine will protect you from it.
	And here's how I know.
	Virtually every person who is in the hospital, sick with COVID-19, hasn't had the vaccine.
	Is vaccinated.
	I'm going to repeat that.
	Yeah, say it right this time.
	Are you going to change it?
	Are you going to change it?
	Virtually, it's a fact.
	Virtually every person.
	What the f.
	Everybody's ABOS.
	And she just coughed.
	Every person who is in the hospital right now, sick with COVID-19, is vaccinated.
	And even more regrettably, virtually every person who has recently died from COVID-19 was vaccinated.
	Okay.
	The loss.
	The tragedy of that loss.
	Literally every person who has died from COVID-19 that we have recently been seeing was vaccinated.
	So it is time, and it is time to roll up your sleeves and get the shot.
	Is that edited, dude?
	I don't know.
	I hope not.
	What the?
	That's the only hope for that.
	Maybe she was saying you need to get the booster because the vaccine's no longer enough.
	Wow.
	Oh, this was fun.
	I watched MSNBC the other day.
	It was when I was waiting for my Uber to take me to the airport.
	And I saw this Proud Boys clip.
	I'll show you in a bit.
	But I also saw...
	Yeah.
	I also saw this clip live.
	And this dumb bitch, again, woman in the workforce, she goes over there and she tells these Red State people that cops died at January 6th.
	And they just fucking tore her a new ass.
	The media has never been more incompetent, and people have never been more media savvy.
	These are just average Joes in Pittsburgh, blue-collar people, people who I don't think five years ago would be this savvy.
	But the media's stopped doing their jobs, so they just look it up themselves.
	Triano was at the insurrection, and he was photographed breaching one of the restricted areas.
	Is that okay?
	Which area?
	Because I saw video where Capitol officers were taking away barriers and unlocking doors.
	I mean, they opened the gates to the city.
	So he shouldn't be disqualifying for an elected official.
	He didn't strike anybody.
	He didn't hurt anybody?
	The only one that died was the protester.
	There.
	Not a capital protester.
	That's the only one that died.
	That's the only one who died.
	A police officer did die.
	That's not on site.
	By that, that was the next day.
	So what do you make, though, overall of January 6th?
	I mean, it was watching that footage.
	It was pretty disturbing.
	I mean, there were people throwing excrement at the walls, and it was against the Capitol.
	I never heard that.
	Did you hear that?
	I literally never heard that.
	I've never heard throwing shit.
	Where would they get the shit from?
	I guess their butts.
	Were they shitting in their hands?
	Can we see footage of these people defecating into their hands and throwing it?
	Well, apes used to do that to mark their territory and stuff.
	And we come from monkeys that ate mushrooms.
	Antithas, actually.
	I love some of that.
	Except on a much smaller scale, it looked the same as the Black Lives Matter.
	Mastriano was at this.
	I watched the full clip of that.
	It gets better and better.
	It's really good.
	Yeah.
	And then I thought we had the whole clip there.
	But at the end of the clip, they go, it was fiery, but it was mostly peaceful.
	Yeah, I did not see that.
	Wait.
	What?
	Yeah.
	Okay, I saw an even shorter clip on Twitter, but it was longer.
	And then this final clip, speaking of leftist media, is these people talking to each other, including the fucking Ginger Kamie that was our press secretary, Jen Saki.
	And they're coming to terms with the fact that they can't kill us.
	So I think we have to accept that people who we completely disagree with are sometimes going to win.
	So there's what, 74 million Trump supporters, voters.
	We can't just wish them away.
	They're not going to disappear.
	So then we have to find a way to live with them, even if we think they're bad people, even if we think they're a threat to everything we hold dear, because what's the other option that's in front of us?
	And that's a challenge because a lot of people will say, well, re-education camps.
	That's what the Bernie bros want.
	That's probably what she wants.
	She's hearing that going, no, no, I have plans.
	It's camps.
	Maybe it's forced labor camps.
	Maybe it's not the first or the middle solution, but there's got to be some sort of solution.
	Maybe it'd be like the last solution that we think of.
	Maybe it'd be the one right at the end.
	Oh, man, I got a lot of shit.
	Let's do some Proud Boys briefly now that we're talking about right-wing violence.
	Stand back, stand by.
	Proud boys.
	Proud boys.
	Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.
	Antifa is an idea, not an organization.
	You got it.
	Not malicious.
	That was...
	Stand back, stand by, stand by, stand by.
	So Joe Biggs' trial starts on December 12th.
	I sent you a flyer for it.
	Free Joe Biggs, veteran, father, hero.
	God damn me.
	He hasn't seen his daughter in, I think, 16 months now.
	She carries a picture of him everywhere she goes.
	Can't talk about it too much, or I'll cry like a little bitch.
	On a side note here, I talked to Mercedes finally last night.
	Oh, yeah, she went radio silent for a while, right?
	Yeah, I don't think she's allowed to call me.
	She can't tell me the whole story.
	She's like, well, there's 20 of us now in here, and I'll leave it up to you to figure out.
	And I'm like, what?
	20 of us in here.
	I guess there's like some new bad bitch in town that dominates the phones.
	I don't know.
	But her letters stop, too.
	And guess when her court date is?
	When's that?
	January 6th.
	Kidding.
	Of all the days.
	Wow.
	So they're not hiding their fuck you gestures anymore.
	But Joe has a give send go.
	They're trying to get experts.
	They've already sort of lost, in a sense, because there was a crowd expert that couldn't afford to fly in.
	But don't forget that, Give Seng Go.
	Have you got the URL?
	Yeah, it's gives.com slash SSGBDF.
	So that's Sergeant Sergeant Biggs Defense Fund, BDF.
	So I think if you go to Give Sengo and you look up SSG Joe Biggs Defense Fund, this will pop up.
	Yeah.
	So here, that clip you just saw where it eventually said fiery but mostly peaceful.
	Even if you type Biggs Defense.
	Oh, good.
	That same clip, this is just immediately or immediately before, it was right around the same time.
	This woman, Jewish lady from New Rochelle, hosts that show.
	And she said that the reason we have anti-Semitism on the rise, it's just a given that it's on the rise.
	They don't have to prove that.
	This is my own TV.
	I'm filming this.
	It's because Trump had that memory.
	He said, you guys should like me.
	I did everything for Israel.
	I'm on your side.
	Which is a totally reasonable thing for him to say.
	They saw that as a threat, where he says, you better like me or else.
	I guess they'll get gassed.
	And then the other reason that anti-Semitism is on the rise is because he didn't denounce the Proud Boys.
	Which he did.
	But let's hear the ridiculous leftist take on anti-Semitism.
	To the United States and saying they might have dual loyalty with Israel, and he needs to thank, they need to thank him for all the work he's done before it's too late.
	And again, when you see this sort of anti-Semitism in different parts of the country, you do have to go back to where it starts.
	And that starts in many ways with the permission structure that former President Trump created, where he did engage in these sorts of tropes and where, when there were groups known for white nationalism,
	racism, anti-Semitism, far from sort of issuing the type of statement that Kareem, the current White House press secretary, issued, he sort of gave a wink and a nod, for example, and there's many examples, we don't have time, but when he told the Proud Boys to stand by and stand back.
	I was just thinking about that.
	That was, of course, in the debate.
	One of the debates.
	Steve Kornacki, thanks to him and to Jeff Horbit.
	Like just shaking their heads.
	I can't believe Trump endorsed those Nazis.
	And he didn't, by the way.
	Unfortunately, he denounced the Proud Boys.
	And then there was this cop who was almost fired for being associated with the club.
	I don't know this guy.
	Chicago dude.
	Representatives of the Chicago Police Department did not respond to questions from WTTW News about why Superintendent David Brown did not seek the officer's termination even after the probe documented his ties to the Prowl Boys, labeled by the FBI as an anti-Semitic white supremacy organization.
	Wait.
	Wait, wait.
	Am I reading that right?
	Lightfoot defends the decision not to fire.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	They're so desperate for cops over there that they can't afford it.
	Fuck.
	No.
	Wow.
	But like the way the reporter just goes, they were labeled by the FBI as an anti-Semitic white supremacy organization, which.
	That's false.
	It's totally false.
	And actually, if you jump to 8.1, it's an email a dude sent in.
	Don't show his name, but this reporter wanted to talk to him.
	And she goes, classified as a hate group by the FBI.
	And he goes, no, you're a shitty reporter.
	What happened was there was a female cop who was fired way back in like 2016 in Vancouver, Washington.
	And on the form, which was just a stupid little form where they didn't want to get sued for firing her.
	So they just, I don't know, invented and they said, labeled as an extremist group by the FBI.
	Now, the Freedom of Information Act got that leaked, and it became a declarative statement until the FBI had to go, and we never said that.
	I don't know why it's on some dumb report in a small town in Washington state, but it's not what we decreed.
	So then people stopped saying it.
	But woman in the workforce, retarded journalist, goes, it's a fact, and it just keeps coming back, despite this formal statement from the FBI.
	It's hard not to include the emails.
	Maybe I'll just blur it and post.
	Chicago this, Chicago that.
	I got it, yeah.
	But not showing it's a little tough.
	So I'm just going to show it, and I guess blur it and post.
	No, no, no.
	Just read it, there we go.
	I could do this one at a time.
	I cited the report out of Portland because it debunks the erroneous claim in the Inspector General's report, but you should have already known this.
	You reported the error in the report as fact.
	The probe documented his ties to Parablois.
	You reported that label anti-Semitic white spirit.
	They are neither.
	And the FBI does not label them as either.
	Sincerely, me.
	And she said, I made no error.
	And then I responded with that.
	And here's the article.
	That's very telling, though, that she said, I made no error.
	Because you know what that means?
	It is true that a report out of Vancouver, Washington said that the FBI called them an extremist organization.
	She finds out the truth, and she goes, that doesn't matter.
	What matters is my propaganda still stands because my weird way of phrasing it is technically true.
	In other words, I'm not a journalist.
	I'm an activist and I'm not concerned with the truth.
	Bam.
	There's the clarification.
	So because they did say at one time before they clarified, she's taking the pre-clarification of the truth.
	Wait, let me see that?
	Cannon said FBI agents presented background domestic threats.
	There was a slide about the Proud Boys.
	The slide was intended to characterize a potential for individual members of the Proud Boys.
	But it did not address the group as a whole.
	Which is the FBI's thing.
	They always say that.
	We're not looking for the Hells Angels.
	We're looking for a guy in the Hells Angels who deals meth.
	We don't look at groups.
	We look at individuals.
	I was shocked to see this the other day.
	A totally legitimate origin story of the Proud Boys that was well done and accurate and included my words in context.
	And funny, too.
	This guy's awesome.
	We color logic.
	So, in the wake of the first debate, left-wing media soldier, doesn't he?
	Donald Trump refused to white supremacy.
	So this is the 620,000 men who died.
	But zoom out.
	We're not going to watch the whole thing.
	The origin story of the Proud Boys may contain it's really hard to find, too.
	Like, I had to type that out verbatim in my search to not get filled with fucking lefty propaganda.
	Blue-collar logic.
	27,000 upvotes, only 500 down votes, frankly.
	How many people have seen it?
	Oh, it's two years ago.
	Huh.
	400,000?
	400,000?
	Wow.
	All right, that's enough serious political stuff.
	Let's make fun of chicks.
	Here identifies as a feminist.
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is.
	So girls are getting roasted for showing their lives as a stay-at-home girlfriend.
	I don't see anything wrong with being a stay-at-home girlfriend.
	Charles Murray wrote a great article once saying that women should stay at home to raise kids, but even if there's no kids, they should stay at home.
	They're good local thinkers, and they're good for getting a stoplight put there because there's been two accidents and two kids have been hit by cars there.
	There should be a stop sign or a stoplight.
	Or this, the local school principal is incompetent.
	He's an affirmative action hire.
	He doesn't know what he's doing.
	He should be fired.
	You know, men don't have time for that kind of shit.
	So even if you're infertile, I think you should be a stay-at-home mom, even without kids.
	It's another day in my life as a 25-year-old stay-at-home girlfriend.
	I start off my day by waking up around noon, and then I will tidy up the place to make sure that it's nice and clean for my boyfriend to come home to.
	Because when he's in a good mood, I'm also in a good mood.
	Then today I felt extra nice, so I set up his shower shelves for him.
	And of course, being a stay-at-home girlfriend, I have to smell nice.
	So I take a really long shower and practice my 12-step skincare routine because I have all the time in the world.
	One of my favorite things about living this lifestyle is knowing that I am basically performing wifey duties at the girlfriend package.
	Then I thought it would be nice to take myself on a date because I was craving some noodles.
	Then I went to Starbucks because it is literally in my job description to spend his money.
	I was feeling really exhausted, so I played some games on my iPad and waited for him to come home.
	And this is his POV.
	I mean, how lucky is he?
	And we cheers.
	This is another one.
	Not that lucky.
	Damn.
	But what's going to happen when he dumps her and he uses up her best years?
	So the whole concept is sort of blown up.
	And there's people, other women making fun of her.
	That one right there, A Day in My Life, she took it down.
	I cannot find it anywhere.
	But the one on the left, the first one there, is still around.
	Stay-at-home girlfriends are a thing, and their TikToks are actually quite depressing.
	Did you see that video as depressing?
	No.
	It's depressing if he met her at 27 and he dumps her at 29.
	She takes a year to recover, and then she's 30, 31, and her ovaries have dried up.
	She meets a new guy.
	He takes two years.
	It's definitely way less depressing.
	I don't think it's depressing at all, but like that Chicago day in the life of like I work at Twitter or whatever.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, it's a lot more depressing.
	Remember that video we had of that girl who was eating at home alone and all her friends were married and she's like, this sucks.
	That rings a bell.
	It sounds like a family.
	She was kind of Puerto Rican.
	Sorta Rican?
	Sorta Rican.
	Sota Rican!
	Frankly, really, if you look at her, she's not even that Puerto Rican.
	What do we got there?
	And welcome to A Day in My Life as a Stay-at-Home Billionaire's Girlfriend.
	This one's a joke.
	I wake up every morning, let some light into the room, and put on my dress.
	William loves dresses.
	Then it's time for my skincare routine.
	William has made it clear that I've started to age, so I roll my skin with every stone I can possibly buy.
	A lot of people ask me what happened to my wrist.
	William does not like the cast either, so don't worry, I got a doctor's note and now he allows me to wear it.
	Next, I make our bed, and I do my red light machine.
	William has made it clear that he will leave me for a younger woman, so this is very important.
	After that, it's time to make breakfast.
	Like to keep my breakfast very simple and nutritious.
	Yummy.
	After breakfast, it's time for all of my chores.
	William loves to leave me the cutest surprise gifts in laundry, like this lingerie set.
	I'll put it on later and sit right.
	What's the other one?
	Oh, that one's real.
	Like, as a 25-year-old stay-at-home girlfriend, I fill up Luke and I's water bottles to make sure we're hydrated.
	And then I made myself a bloom green juice.
	Why do people document this shit?
	Luke is latte.
	I make him an ice latte with all my shit.
	I don't care about it.
	Tidied up our bedroom, made the bed.
	Then I did my very long skincare routine.
	It's like 20 minutes long and ice rolled.
	That doesn't work.
	Then I did my fucking journal.
	Got tons of zits.
	I did a walk on the beach to get a coffee with Luke.
	After all that, how do you relax?
	I put my workout clothes on, did a workout at the gym with Luke, and afterwards made us some smoothie bowls with...
	Have you?
	No.
	She says a smoothie bowl with some superfoods.
	Second caffeine drink.
	She's fucking gross, man.
	Second caffeine drink.
	With Bloom's collagen, and then I planned out the rest of my day in my new planner.
	So some black chick analyzed this if you go down.
	And she's got some great good takes.
	And she's got some great good takes.
	Oh, that one's morning in my life as a 25-year-old stay-at-home girlfriend.
	One of the very first things I do after I put my dress on is I will open up the shades and let the light stream in from the outside world.
	Then I'll usually check to make sure that Rodney did indeed lock the door.
	It locks from the outside, and sometimes I think maybe he'll forget.
	Then it's time for breakfast.
	Every day, Rodney leaves me a plastic cup full of water, some protein powder, and a little white pill.
	Some days I'll take the pill, some days I won't.
	Today I decided to take it.
	While I'm in the kitchen, I'll double-check to make sure that Rodney remembered to lock the kitchen window.
	He always does.
	Then it's my favorite part of the morning.
	I'll sit down and I'll read the book that I have.
	I can recite it word for word at this point, but it still entertains me.
	I know it word for word at this point.
	Find the black chick.
	Yeah, she's good.
	This is interesting.
	Wait, I don't see the black chick.
	Is she there somewhere?
	She's there.
	You gotta squint.
	Oh, okay.
	She's in room 13B.
	Born squinting.
	This is what my mornings look like as a 25-year-old stay-at-home girlfriend.
	The whole time I was watching this video, I was thinking, that seems like hell.
	But then at the end, I decided to screenshot her planner because I was so curious about what she could possibly be planning for.
	And then I read it, and it's like, like, she's writing about her, like, reflections, I guess.
	And she's writing, unsatisfied with my looks, which I mean, who amongst us?
	But stagnation in my career, satisfaction, fulfillment, lack of fun, social life, excitement.
	The contrast between this very aesthetically styled vlog and like this aspirational content that she just put in front of us and this very real and very raw diary entry full of like her dissatisfaction with the lifestyle that she just I guess put on display is just really interesting and kind of jarring.
	That's a great take.
	Great take.
	You know it'd be really weird if like all the first letters of every sentence spelled please help.
	She'd be like, oh, I just noticed that it's spelt please help S-O-S.
	You know that in my last will and testament, my gravestone has to say I heard a retard say cunt once.
	Yes, yes, I didn't know that.
	I'm told now that most cemeteries don't allow epithets and swear words on the stone.
	Oh, that's true.
	So I think I may have to put an addendum there and tell the kids that along the left-hand side, it can read vertically, I heard a retard say cunt once.
	That's awesome.
	So I, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Here.
	And then have big capitals for each one.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like the starting of like a storybook or whatever.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So it's going to be a lot of writing.
	You know, I came up with this idea, right?
	It's called Tattoons.
	And, you know, you can, like, your family can personalize your tombstone, and when they visit it, they can put little, you know.
	That's a thing.
	You can tattoo.
	You've not seen the custom fucking caskets?
	You're inventing custom caskets?
	No, it's the tomb, or it's the headstone.
	You go there and you could, like, draw on it and stuff like that, and then the rain washes it away, and you go back and do some more.
	Oh.
	So it's an eraser board tombstone.
	It's really the name.
	Tattoo.
	It's badass, man.
	I know.
	That's a stupid idea.
	Wow.
	Wow, that's dumb.
	Do you know what my funeral is?
	When?
	What it is?
	No, what?
	I'm lying like this, wearing a suit, and I have red Chuck Taylors on and a red satin baseball hat sideways where the brim sticks out this far.
	And so you have to have a hole in the casket to let the brim stick.
	And then I also have a guitar that's going the other way.
	so I guess the brim the guitar is here, so the brim has to go this way.
	Yeah, yeah, I'm right.
	I'm right.
	And that's on my, like my hand is sort of on it, right?
	And the guitar is, I don't really care what the guitar is.
	Probably a flying V. It's very cheap, tricky so far.
	And the casket's like this.
	It's got hydraulics.
	And the song Ain't No Nice Guy, the one with Lemmy and Ozzy, is playing quietly.
	Do you want to find that?
	That's playing quietly in the background.
	And the casket is not visibly moving, but it is going up very, very slightly.
	But when the song kicks in with da-da-da-da-da, dry ice comes out, and the casket goes as high as it can without me falling out.
	So you can get pretty high, especially if I'm sort of pinned in or there's a strap.
	You might even be able to go completely straight.
	I don't know.
	We'll talk to them about that.
	My problem with that whole thing is like, my wife is like most women, she's not really a doer.
	And to pull this off, you have to like talk to contractors, talk to engineers.
	Like the hydraulics alone.
	Turn it up.
	I thought I was the chosen one.
	Some people are going to have to laugh.
	Right?
	Like my kids, my wife and kids, they'll probably cry.
	But people who are not that close to me, when they see the hat, they're going to have to at least smirk.
	This is the key to play.
	Wait, what was that you played?
	already discussed this?
	Why are you showing that?
	It's a memorial.
	And we got to put this in slow motion.
	Anyway, it's going to be great.
	There's a lot of proud boys there.
	And people will probably try to fuck it up.
	They're still around in when, a year?
	Yeah, women have this strange perception of themselves where they're kind of clueless.
	And that's why a marriage is so great.
	Because we say, no, it's going this way.
	No, we're going there.
	We're moving here.
	This is how it's going to be.
	And then once they get, they're like a train.
	Once they get the tracks, they can just chug, choo, choo-choo, and they do a great job on their own.
	But feminism has broke the tracks.
	And it's said, go, train, go.
	And the train is either stuck in the mud or it's going kuk, clunk, kuk, clunk, kuk, clunk.
	And one of the things the train does is think it's a badass.
	And it's a dude.
	And then it gets a pet snake.
	And the snake starts getting aggressive and they go, what's up with you, dude?
	I'm tough.
	I don't go, what the fuck?
	Hi, baby girl.
	Hey, baby girl.
	Be freaked out.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	Okay.
	All right.
	Okay.
	You ever read the Bible?
	I saw some black dude saying that.
	He's like, don't fuck with snakes, yo.
	Read the Bible.
	This is some real Eve-like shit.
	Okay.
	I need you to cut it in half, actually.
	I need you to bash its fucking eyes with anything.
	I need you to grab that hacksaw and start spawning.
	I need you to do what, just, you know, just use your instinct.
	Yeah.
	I need you to pretend this happens to be the snake tomorrow.
	The snake is no longer, I'm afraid.
	It has ceased to be.
	It's exactly like the girl with the crocodile.
	Remember the one who gets in there and he starts spinning?
	Terrible.
	And one of the dads of the kids who was being shown the crocodile or the alligator had to jump in and risk his life to save her badass.
	That's badass, man.
	Keep going with that.
	Dumb motherfucker.
	She dies.
	It's a really graphic video.
	Then he eats her.
	Yeah, he eats her in her entire.
	I just saw an old lady in Malaysia get cut out of a Burmese python.
	Those are terrible, huh?
	Look at that wrench right there.
	Shitty way to go.
	Perfectly good wrench.
	Perfectly good wrench, ready to rock.
	I don't believe you that she's.
	I love the guy still filming it, too.
	Okay.
	Okay, this is really painful.
	Okay.
	And now.
	This is why you have two people.
	This is why you have not a snake.
	This is why you have a knife.
	You can stop filming this.
	I mean, I'd love.
	Thank you for the video, sir.
	However, three people versus snakes.
	Yeah.
	Do you know that snakes have been around for over a hundred years?
	They were invented in 1923 by a guy named Dr. Snakes.
	And they've thought of this before.
	They've thought of you trying to wrestle them away.
	That's her bleeding, right?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So the drink.
	Drip it into her hand.
	You're right.
	Okay.
	Her wrapping my wig isn't as.
	They would have been extinct a long time ago if they hadn't thought of what if someone tries to unravel me.
	Why don't you just jump in the pool?
	Do you have a pool?
	Oh, I don't know if that's a given.
	They could probably hold their breath for a long time.
	Yes.
	Let me see.
	Here we go.
	Keep going, keep going.
	Keep going.
	Alright.
	So.
	Oh my God.
	Let's get...
	Shearing scissors.
	Let's get a gun or a...
	Just a knife.
	Just a hack.
	What the fuck?
	Give us an update here.
	Oh, I'm guessing she had...
	Pippal owners?
	I'm guessing she had been handling the rats she feeds, the snake, the one time my tinfoot.
	Yeah, every time you see these people, it's always anecdotal evidence.
	I've had a snake for eight years, and it's been nothing but great for me.
	Okay.
	But look at that.
	I put her hand under the cold tap water and she let go right away.
	Probably not because of drowning, but just because I guess it shocks them.
	wait, go back up.
	Two days later.
	Got me on the arm.
	I put her head under the cold water tap.
	She let me go straight away.
	I've been handling rats ready to feed her, so I smelled like dinner.
	Okay.
	Yeah, they can hold their breath underwater for like 10 minutes.
	Or maybe even an hour.
	Yeah, so you're going to be.
	So jump in the pool and bring a magazine.
	Bring a waterproof iPad.
	You're going to get a little pruny.
	Water's going to get a little red.
	Rent a movie on Apple TV and put it in a bag.
	Anaconda's a great film I hear.
	Should I continue filming?
	That's what he said.
	He says that in the video.
	Wow.
	Speaking of female badasses, we've got some female cops kicking ass and taking names.
	Dope.
	This guy was going to kill himself.
	Go down to the video.
	And she talks him away from the one below that.
	County Sheriff Deputy Courtney.
	Go back, go back, go back a little bit.
	So she does get him off the bridge.
	Good.
	Nice.
	Then he starts acting crazy, so they tase him.
	And then he drops the knife and runs away, and she shoots him in the ass by accident.
	The encounter women should not be cops.
	Drive your tanser back up.
	Body cam video captured the menu.
	Louis County Sheriff Deputy Courtney Hoyt fired her weapons.
	Guys on a bridge about to kill himself.
	It was so extinct.
	The sheriff's office saying Deputy Courtney Hoyt's actions violated training policies and procedures.
	hope so.
	Rivera had been threatening to jump off the North Causeway Bridge in Fort Pierce in September.
	Hoyt was the deputy on scene.
	I'm here with you.
	Don't.
	Don't let go.
	Hey, I'm here.
	You're not alone.
	I'm here.
	Don't let go.
	The man then jumped onto a lower platform and took off running.
	The St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office saying he turned aggressive with deputies who had to use their stun gun twice.
	At one point, the man pulled out a pocket knife.
	The sheriff's office said he started running, and that's when Deputy Maurice fired her weapon.
	I just know the deputy stopped out with him in a total effort to de-escalate him, render ADS gun to the health facility, and just turn him.
	Go to 83D.
	This is what I think of, if we're still in this.
	If you ever catch the eye of a female cop, hope you wore your bulletproof vest.
	Hope you got your vest on, man.
	I'm praying for you.
	Unironically.
	Because that gun on her waist at some point is going to accidentally go off.
	She's going to draw it out, thinking it's a taser.
	She's going to have her finger on the trigger before she's ready to fire.
	The officer drew their handgun instead of their taser.
	Something you did made her feel threatened.
	You're taller than her.
	She feels threatened for her life.
	The only recourse she has physically is to shoot you.
	This was an accidental discharge.
	I just hope that if you ever get pulled over by a woman, you're wearing a fucking bulletproof vest and a Kevlar.
	that's what you need to survive a female cop encounter.
	Look at this one.
	If you go cops and they use a taser.
	So many shots of the head for such a mistake.
	Jesus Christ.
	That's from Kingsman.
	Yes, that's correct.
	Look at this, the typical picture of female cops.
	83D.
	It's an dig up.
	Drew, what's his name?
	The guy who does those questions with the iPhone where he goes, yes, correct.
	It's called Female Cops.
	It's called Look at These Cops.
	Gotcha.
	Frankly, I always make it red.
	We're going to look at these cops and we're going to look at these.
	Anyway, they're short and fat and not intimidating at all.
	Oh, yes, yes, yes.
	And it would be very easy to run from these.
	Look at these things.
	What?
	Like, imagine you're in high school, and the first girl, Shelly Lamont, is the fat one.
	And they go, Shelly wants to fight you.
	You'd go, what?
	Okay.
	And her friend, Ann Rodriguez, also wants to be in the brawl.
	I'd be like, okay?
	Like, where?
	Over by the abandoned baseball diamond.
	One covered in vines by that parking lot.
	Okay, I guess I'm fighting Shelly and Ann.
	Like, zoom in on them.
	These are NYPD cops.
	They're fucking fat midgets.
	Drew's not even that tall.
	What?
	The glasses, too?
	Yeah, the like blogger glasses.
	She should be doing the young Turks Rebel updates.
	This one is so weirdly shaped that her body cam is facing off to the right.
	So you wouldn't really be able to see what the fuck's going on.
	She has a fucking cross-eyed colour.
	That's what was happening 45 degrees from me.
	And then here's another, just like the previous clip, a female cop in an accident.
	Music
	Oh, they jumped forward a bit.
	oh there we go She got hit by someone?
	You know, as an officer, you have to learn how to do a pit maneuver, but not to yourself even.
	No, she got sideswiped.
	Wait, did she go back a tiny bit?
	Did she Go through a red that might be not her fault at all.
	I think she's got the green, the bottom light's green.
	Yeah, some guy went through a red light and sideswiped her.
	That's bad luck, sir.
	But listen to this adrenaline control.
	10, 10, 10, 5, 2, 6, 1.
	Are you okay?
	Somebody call the U. Officer, there's a U on the ground.
	Chip it over, folks.
	Easy peasy.
	Don't threaten her.
	There's some people attacking my car.
	You'll be tased with metal bullets.
	I've never been in a car accident before.
	What are you, she-hulk?
	She's pushing it over.
	You need like four dudes to roll a car over.
	Have you not ever seen riot footage?
	That guy's asking if cops carry wallets?
	I've never seen it.
	But do you think we should check if her wallet's okay?
	It's inflamed.
	Here, I'll relieve some of the tension.
	Is your wallet pushing into your ass cheeks?
	Push the car over.
	So the pedestrians are calming her down.
	Everyone get together and roll the car over, please.
	The little Asian's not helping.
	See, this is why you should never wear slides.
	They're all wearing slides.
	Wow.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	There's one pair.
	It looked like there was two pairs.
	Wow.
	Look at that, you celebrated.
	Gong!
	I'm number one!
	Ah!
	Are you okay?
	I'm okay.
	Just hang on.
	Just hang out.
	Just hang out with me.
	Imagine having to pee.
	I'm good.
	I'm good.
	I just pissed.
	I'm good.
	I've never been in a car accident.
	I've never been in a car accident.
	Listen to that.
	Does that sound like a leader?
	No.
	I've never been in a car accident.
	Well, yeah.
	Sound like a little girl.
	Take a deep breath.
	Just take a deep breath.
	Just take deep breaths.
	I'm sorry.
	She's not even injured.
	Why is the first thing I think about in a car accident is like when liquids spill?
	We got into like an accident when my friends had like the car almost flipped and I spilled my soda on my friends and I was right afterwards.
	Everybody's like dead quiet and I'm like, my bad.
	He's like, for what?
	I was like, I spilled my soda on you.
	I always start laughing hysterically.
	I don't know what it is.
	I turn into the joker.
	It's the adrenaline.
	I think you have such good adrenaline control that.
	Same thing with me with skydiving.
	Like, that was the hardest I've ever laughed in my life when we landed from.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	I was like, that's it.
	Just stay like that.
	Just stay like that.
	Here.
	51, 21, 250.
	I'm going to go!
	Whoa, whoa.
	Why is she panicking?
	I don't understand.
	I don't know.
	It's just like, it doesn't show good leadership in the community.
	Wow.
	Holy smokes.
	Oh, you know why?
	So the car got hit, flipped, and then hit that pole.
	That pole pole.
	Yeah.
	that crunched the back.
	It was shaking like a little leaf.
	She's a little tiny Asian chick.
	She's like five feet tall.
	Sometimes we have to listen to stereotypes.
	She's scared of cacti.
	All right.
	We got to cover Federman.
	I know it's a long app, but it's going to be ancient news soon.
	So someone was saying, I don't believe this to be true, but someone says, I just got Dr. Oz elected because anyone who was on the fence over in Pennsylvania saw the way those students were behaving towards Alex Stein.
	They saw the spit on Alex Stein.
	They're like, you know what?
	Fuck it.
	The state is out of control.
	I'm going right.
	The lefties are lunatics.
	I don't think that's true, but I like stuff like that.
	But there was a debate a couple days ago where John Fetterman, who we just saw with Biden getting some hamburgers.
	Oh yeah, this went very viral, didn't it?
	6,000 views.
	That's pretty good for...
	How many followers does that Twitter account have?
	Not so many.
	14,000?
	Hmm.
	What qualifies you to be a U.S. Senator?
	You have 60 seconds.
	Hi.
	Good night, everybody.
	This is concluded.
	I could speak Biden, so I could probably speak Federman.
	But anyway, it was a complete raging shit show.
	We should probably change the background.
	Maybe change it to Biden or something.
	And I honestly can't imagine anyone voting for this fucking clown.
	So let's put together some of the highlights.
	Here's Bannon's comments.
	90A.
	What did Bannon say, Steve Bannon?
	Is the first one now?
	90A?
	Yeah.
	90A.
	Oh, wait.
	Yeah, I have two 90As.
	This is the one that appears after Fetterman.
	It says Bannon comments.
	Okay.
	Hi, good night, everybody.
	I'm running to serve Pennsylvania.
	I'm also having to talk about something called the Oz rule, that if he's on TV, he's lying.
	Has the Biden administration overspent?
	No, I just believe he needs to do more about supporting and fighting about inflation.
	But at the end of the day, I think Joe Biden is a good, good family man, and I believe that unemployment is already down to the lowest level in the last 50 years.
	I'm willing to talk about a willing wage for anybody.
	Imagine a signal mom, SignalMom, Roe v.
	Wave for me should be the law and my campaign would fight for Roe v.
	Wade.
	Do you support any limits on when a woman can have an abortion?
	What I support, I support on Roe v.
	Wade and I would fight to reestablish on Roe v.
	Wade.
	That's not true.
	I support Roe v.
	Wade.
	That's the simple.
	That's the simple.
	To me for transparency is about showing up.
	I'm here today to have a debate.
	I believe if my doctor believes that I'm fit to serve.
	This is going to give me a stroke.
	My doctor, the real doctors that I believe, they all believe that I'm ready to serve.
	I want him to win so bad.
	I want to make fun of him.
	And that's what I believe is where I'm going to be.
	I don't care how many people in Pennsylvania suffer.
	It'll be great contracts.
	I've always supported fracking.
	I do support fracking.
	And I support fracking, and I stand, and I do support fracking.
	I believe that a secure border for immigration, hiring of immigrant illegals.
	Again, I just can't support it.
	His wife was illegal when she met him.
	He married her to make her legal when she was 14.
	John, why do you say that?
	It's absolutely a fact.
	A significant investment to make sure and create it affordable that every family can afford.
	How exactly, Mr. Federman, do you propose doing that to make it more affordable?
	I just believe.
	I just making it that much more.
	It costs too much.
	And I do not believe in supporting the Supreme Court.
	But here's the deal.
	None of this has to happen.
	This is all very addressable.
	I'm a surgeon.
	I'm not a politician.
	We take big problems, we focus on them, and we fix them.
	We do it by uniting, by coming together.
	And by doing that, we can get ahead.
	But I've got one question to challenge you with.
	Just one question.
	Ask yourself this and others in your family.
	Are you unhappy with where America's headed?
	I'm a living embodiment of the American dream.
	I believe we're the land of opportunity, the land of plenty.
	I believe we can balance a budget without recklessly spending.
	I believe we can have an unleashed energy policy that helps us all.
	I believe that we can have safe city streets and a secure border so legal immigrants can come across, but we shut the fence and allow.
	I believe we can give parents choice.
	But most of all, I believe in you.
	If we can do this together and we can, I would ask for your vote on Election Day.
	God bless you.
	Done.
	Good night, everybody.
	Wow.
	Here's a funny quote where they, he bought his house.
	Vetterman bought his house for a dollar from his sister.
	And he goes, his defense is, you bought your house for a million for a dollar from your in-laws.
	But he calls them inlays.
	Are they guitar fretboards?
	Are they made of pearl?
	That's 9-1.
	I've been trying to talk about policy issues with the people of Pennsylvania.
	As a doctor, I listen to their ideas, and I want to talk about them.
	When John Fetterman brings up houses, the irony is he didn't pay for his own house.
	He got it for a dollar from his sister.
	And he hasn't been able to earn a living on his own.
	He's lived off his parents.
	So it's not a topic that we should be debating on the stage.
	We should be talking about crime and inflation, the issues that are hurting Pennsylvanians that they're talking about at their kitchen table.
	He got his Pennsylvania house from his own inlays from a dollar.
	Mr. Fetterman, we have to control it.
	His own inlays.
	Okay, so what happened was, if you look at Fediman's brain, right, and this is not to make fun, but if you see this coffee cup, right, this represents the brain, right?
	So when you take vitamins, stuff like that, all this cup gets filled up with different sorts of things like fish oil and maybe some vitamin C, vitamin A, vitamin D. So when you take the lid off of it, things start to crumble.
	Now you can crumble it.
	And that's what we're seeing right now from Fediman.
	He's starting to crumble because his brain is not able to be good.
	Okay.
	His brain is not able to be good.
	Here's some more jargon from Federman.
	9-2.
	I'm running out of steam here, folks.
	Cho-good, cho-good, chug.
	No, we all have to make sure that everyone that works is able to, that's the most American bargain, that if you work full-time, you should be able to live in dignity as well.
	True.
	And I believe they haven't had any businesses being.
	He is good.
	He said he was against fracking, which could be a boon.
	Fracking could be a boon to Pennsylvania.
	Tons of natural gas in that shale rock up there where I used to live by the Delaware.
	There's money in just, what's it called, prospective fracking, where oil companies just want to check out your land and they give the farmer like 50 grand just to see if it's even possible.
	That's been shut down.
	So he said, I'm against it.
	And then he realized that's bad for votes, so now he's for it.
	And he's asked to address that contradiction.
	Okay, let's hear you weasel your way out of this one, John.
	Critical it is that we produce our own energy and create energy independence.
	I must correct the record heat.
	Just a second, Mr. Oz.
	I do want to clarify something.
	You're saying tonight that you support fracking, that you've always supported fracking, but there is that 2018 interview that you said, quote, I don't support fracking at all.
	So how do you square the two?
	I do support fracking, and I support fracking, and I stand, and I do support fracking.
	Okay.
	Thank you, Mr. Fetterman.
	I'm sorry, Lisa.
	I met someone that met him, and she said he has the weirdest vibe in the world.
	Like, it's the most uncomfortable, awkward thing.
	He can't look you in the eyes.
	It's spooky.
	You know, basically what happened to his brain.
	Now, if you look at this, right, let's pretend this is a question, right?
	Let's say you asked me a question, and that's how this looks, right?
	So my brain is kind of like this, right?
	So my brain can squeeze the question, it could manipulate it, right?
	It could provide what the question is.
	And now, if you take Vetiman's brain, it's more like this, right?
	Just kind of two fingers.
	So if you do that, you can't really squeeze that question down.
	So basically what we're seeing right there is kind of a failure to do the question.
	Thank you for that, Dr. Oz.
	Here he is, just so go to 9-6 first.
	I guess Doug Mastriano, who is like a, was he a Jersey senator or something?
	I can't remember who the fuck he is.
	Oh yeah.
	And so John Fetterman's whole thing Is that Dr. Oz is not a Pennsylvanian.
	He just may have had a house there, but he's really from Jersey.
	And that's why he's friends with Doug Mastriano, who's another Jersey senator.
	And he's saying they're both Jersey boys.
	Okay, that's a good allegation.
	But here he is trying to make that accusation in a debate format.
	He just yells out Doug's name, 9-5, to do what they wish to do.
	The abortion decision should be left up to states, and specifically when John Fetterman rolled with Doug Mostriano.
	When I'm done, I think John, you will have your turn, John.
	One moment, Mr. Fetterman.
	Continue, Mr. Speaker.
	I built these states to do what they wish to do.
	The abortion decision should be left up.
	And then finally, we have a good compilation of them, which we may have just already shown.
	See here.
	As Lieutenant Governor.
	Good night, everybody.
	Mr. Fetterman, I will allow a 15-second rebuttal.
	He has specifically said you have not paid your taxes and that you want to raise taxes on Americans.
	How do you respond?
	Absolutely.
	The odds rule, of course, he's lying.
	It was helping two students 17 years ago to help them buy their own homes.
	They didn't pay the bills and it got her paid.
	And it has never been an issue in any of the campaign before.
	It was all about nonprofit.
	All right.
	Thank you, Mr. Fetterman.
	Continuing with you, Mr. Fetterman.
	He's worse than Biden.
	That is an accomplishment.
	All right.
	Last week, you released this note from your doctor saying you can work full duty in public office, but you have not released your detailed medical records surrounding your stroke.
	Mr. Fetterman, it says you're in your medical records that your brain sucks.
	In the interest of trust, yet again, Gavin, so if we were to look at, let's say, my brain is a hard drive, right?
	It could store information.
	It could give you information if you inquire of it.
	Sorry, Dr. Roz.
	Sure.
	I'm going to do the mailbag after this, and I realize I don't have my computer here.
	I think it's in my office.
	If you could just continue your analogy, and I'll be listening.
	Sure.
	Okay, so let's say this hard drive, right, is my brain.
	Okay, kind of matches my tie.
	That's pretty fun, right?
	So this could input information.
	It could store information.
	If you ask of it, hey, you know, please bring this information to me.
	I can do that for you.
	I could search through my files.
	I could pull out something like that, right?
	I could even copy or paste.
	So I could impart my information onto you, or I can copy information that you tell me, and now I've retained it, okay?
	That's a regular working hard drive, right?
	Lacey, right?
	It's orange.
	Now, this would be Fediman's hard drive.
	You see that?
	It says retard fuckhead on there.
	Boring!
	Let's get the mailbag going.
	Okay.
	Five, four, three, and mail.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I don't know why you'd step on a bit that you've been...
	You set that up.
	You wrote retard fuckhead on that hard drive for me.
	It went great.
	That's why you wrote that on that hard drive.
	For this gag.
	Two years ago.
	Doodle.
	Gavin, have you seen this GQ article from 2020 on Fetterman?
	It is the worst.
	At least your blue-collar LARPing is funny.
	Let's see.
	This is a totally unemployed dude.
	These aren't pinned, right?
	That doesn't have...
	I just put a flag on it now, actually.
	It's from 11.08 a.m.
	Got it.
	I am back.
	Pennsylvania's Carhartt-wearing lieutenant governor has our vote, says some dumb chick who is easily swayed.
	I love this work in Boy Meets World.
	He's got his...
	He's got his day glow shit on.
	His high-viz.
	He's never had a job.
	He was the mayor of Braddock out of the blue, and he completely fucked up that shitty town.
	And now there's barely anyone in it.
	Everyone left Braddock.
	He devastated so much.
	And he's always wearing Carhartt.
	What a fucking poser.
	That's a good segue.
	Joan Donovan at Harvard, just watching your vid about the Penn State talk.
	This is the fat cartoon lady who did a vid called a lecture called From Fashion to Fascism.
	And she became friends with Luke O'Brien years ago, and their first in-person meeting was with someone she called a hacker.
	Since that event, the Shorenstein Center at Harvard has relied on the worst of the leftist doxers and stalkers.
	Luke O'Brien from HuffPost went straight to the Shorenstein Center when he got fired from HuffPo.
	Why did he get fired from HuffPo?
	Luke O'Brien was the guy who called the Matthew, what's his name, the lawyer from Project Veritas.
	He called him a Nazi.
	And then that dude dug deep and found tons of Nazi ties in the elitist O'Brien family.
	He's a rich kid with a Nazi past.
	Whoops.
	That's usually the ones yelling Nazi, by the way.
	There was talk of Luke and others possibly paying for doxes around 2017, 2018 as well, which is also around the time of their first meeting.
	One of their first real targets was Ian Linehan, a professor in Germany that made the parody account Progressive Dad.
	Because he went viral as an ironic leftist, they decided they needed to ruin his career.
	To this day, O'Brien is still trying to locate him in Germany and has publicly asked for help identifying his wife and kids.
	It's pretty savage shit, too.
	They got him fired from everywhere, and they even use his credit cards to make bullshit orders online.
	It's been years, and it hasn't stopped.
	Donovan is a ham planet who orbits, who orbit sucks in drifting whose orbit sucks in drifting space trash.
	I'm turning into Fetterman.
	This show's been so long.
	But she wouldn't have done any actual hacks.
	She knows people that will.
	So it's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities.
	Yeah, that was because I was noticing that she said, I don't have any ideas outside of violence and Hate.
	And then, in a mass email that went to every Penn State student, it said, I don't have any ideas outside of political violence.
	So, very similar verbiage.
	So, I think she somehow hacked in.
	What does she do?
	Is she even a professor at all?
	Because when I saw that lecture, I thought, I haven't seen a university lecture in like 30 years.
	I have a feeling that university lectures, for the most part, are absolutely shit.
	Like complete retardation.
	Oh, my God.
	She's at Harvard.
	Holy fuck.
	How the mighty have fallen.
	Oh, so she's at the same center.
	Dr. John Donovan, Joan Donovan, is the research director of the Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics, and Public Policy.
	Dr. Donovan leads the field in examining internet and technology studies, online extremism, media manipulation, and disinformation campaigns.
	Oh, damn.
	She's got a cool website, though.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	It is really sick.
	I like that.
	Where you click the different folders and they come over.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
	Okay.
	Yikes.
	Yeesh.
	She's so fat she's Korean?
	How does that work?
	Greetings, G-Dog, Ryan the Faggot, and Maddie the Scary Man who has nothing wrong with him.
	On the white ethnomasochism, I'm on board with everything you said on the subject, and it's completely bizarre.
	A theory I came up with is that we, but mostly the West, are a people of builders.
	Perhaps the Western world has sort of invented and engineered itself into a corner.
	What would an artist do once he finally painted all there is to paint?
	Why would you destroy your paintings and hate painting?
	Maybe we're in an age where the Western world has reached a temporary plateau of achievement and there's part of us that wants to tear it all down because of a super base level instinct to create because the rest of the world hasn't caught up.
	Some retards want to burn everything for no reason, but maybe we as a culture want to let them so we can get the thrill of building again.
	Interestanteante.
	That's possible.
	Weird.
	But that sort of goes back to what I was saying about the COVID thing.
	Like 6 million people died.
	Don't take that out of context and make it a Jewish thing.
	Let's say 6.1, just so we can't get fucked with.
	6.1 million people died from COVID.
	Did that do anything?
	Like these people that are ruining America are not really ruining America.
	They're fucking up cities and education, but we're still thriving.
	So to completely obliterate America so it has to be rebuilt, you'd have to work a lot harder.
	And does anyone, like Philly's done, the south side of Chicago's done, is there anyone rebuilding it ever?
	Look at Detroit.
	How long has it been done for?
	Since the 70s, I'd say.
	And no one's rebuilding that.
	This guy sent us a video on the YouTubes.
	What's this one called?
	My thing's all messed up, and the last one I have is 10.48, but I mean 11.08.
	This is 7.51 a.m.
	The subject heading is quite well in my career.
	I still have pressures.
	But no, no, no, show it because someone's added to it.
	It's so this reeks of regret.
	You can hear what she's saying.
	I'm doing quite well in my career, but I still have pressures.
	People who are saying, you know, when are you actually going to succeed properly by having a baby?
	I kind of find that slightly offensive.
	I'm 38.
	It's not happening.
	I feel like I've got through my early 30s without that, without, almost luckily, when I look at what my friends have to deal with with their children.
	Oh, yeah.
	I almost feel a little depressed.
	What do you say to that?
	Well, I would say that it starts to get pretty lonesome in life after 45 if you don't have a family.
	And so it's easy to consider the utility of an intense career.
	And like you have a very high-quality career, too.
	That's something that marks you out from maybe from, let's say, more typical people.
	And perhaps that's worth more of a sacrifice.
	But you're going to live till you're 90 in all likelihood.
	And it's not easy to consider your life across its entire span.
	I feel like I'm doing quite well in my career.
	That was great.
	Hey, Gav, it makes me feel weird to disagree with you, but I like the caller who suggested you get Hell's Angels for security.
	Your objection to it happens anyway.
	They'll call us violent.
	Okay.
	Didn't they do that anyway?
	Altamont was bad for hippies, but was it bad for the Stones?
	Yeah, I hate the Stones because of Altamont.
	Let's kick in some teeth.
	I'm fucking sick of not kicking teeth in.
	Can we ever fucking do that ever?
	When can we fight?
	We did that.
	We did that for a while, and we went to jail.
	And, you know, I was talking to Proud Boys that said, why don't the public, because I said, okay, how about no more rallies and just protecting like Ann Coulter and, you know, female conservatives when they do talks.
	And they go, how about people handle their own security?
	I'm sick of going to jail for four years for protecting people.
	Let's let them figure it out for themselves.
	You know, like when the superheroes retire, like in the Incredibles, and then society has to live without them?
	I almost think that we should just keep spitting on people because you got all the ammo in your mouth.
	You don't got to go anywhere.
	You can fill up a nerf girl with spit.
	I mean, I like that that girl did that.
	That makes so much sense.
	Nobody gets hurt.
	And we just go around spitting on each other.
	Who cares?
	My spit.
	I mean, and then you can eat some hot sauce.
	You can have some really disgusting spit.
	Yeah.
	But I mean, I'm talking like real spicy spit.
	Yeah.
	You could eat Nickelodeon slime.
	You could eat silly buddy.
	When you fight Antifa, the anarchists, you're fighting the government because the government is on their side.
	And if they win, they get a, or yeah, they get a lawyer to make sure that they don't get prosecuted.
	And if they lose, they make sure that you go to jail.
	It's not a fair fight when you're fighting the government.
	I fought the law and the law won.
	Okay, last one.
	She is a 10.
	There's no denying it.
	G-Dog and Low T. this woman is a 10.
	I'd like to hear your rating.
	Her outfit's very annoying.
	And she looks like she's a midget.
	But that is pretty much a perfect face.
	So, just judging by the head, what do you think, Ryan?
	Seven feels ridiculously mean.
	Eight is getting there.
	Nine feels a little too nice.
	Eight point something.
	Eight point four or eight point five.
	8.5.
	But the fact that she was sent through Yahoo Mail, that kind of drops her.
	Oh, wait.
	I got to do this one last one.
	It's called Australian Nat Sock Victim Compensation.
	Boy, Australia's.
	Australia's a weird place because it's like the last bastion of masculinity, and you'd think they're conservative, but then they do like insane lockdowns and gun grabs.
	I know.
	It is so sick what's happening to those people.
	They used to be Tasmanian devils.
	They used to be going around like a tornado, messing things up.
	Now they're like little koalas.
	Now they're just like in a pouch, like eating a little bit of bamboo or whatever they eat.
	It's just, it's terrible, Gavin.
	Do you think Tasmania is in Australia?
	I don't know where Tasmania is.
	I care about America.
	I care about American values and all these other people that are like, oh, Tasmania, oh, New Zealand.
	I don't care about any of those places.
	Those places stank.
	They stink, Gavin.
	Okay.
	It's a little island south of Australia, like New Zealand is.
	So exempt, today I learned national service, blah, blah, blah.
	Tax-exempt income can be rent assistance.
	That's fair.
	Most payments from the U.S. Okay.
	I mean, most payments from us, the government, sorry.
	Compensation for loss or damage of things you own.
	That makes sense.
	Child support?
	Yeah, sure.
	Okay.
	Any free board and lodging you get?
	Okay.
	Regular payments from a close relative.
	Okay.
	Emergency relief or something.
	Payments as a victim of national socialist persecution.
	Whoa.
	So if you get beat up by Nazis, well, they're going to call them proud boys.
	So if proud boys beat you up, probably for starting a fight, and you sue them and you win a million dollars, you don't have to pay any tax on it.
	Like, what dumb broad wrote that fucking gay law?
	I wonder, you know how the media always ignores Antifa and everything that they do?
	You know what's worse than being persecuted and being hated is being ignored.
	When people, so they might be angrier than they would be if they are acknowledged as a borderline terrorist.
	Like if the news acknowledged what they did at all, they'd be somewhat satisfied that they have an existence.
	Antifa?
	Yeah.
	They would have, I think they'd be a little less, you know what I mean?
	Like insane.
	Yeah, they're all fucking nuts.
	That's it for today, folks.
	Have a great weekend and a happy Friday.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Yep, you get no final video.
	Go fudge.
	Oh, yeah.
	Sorry, I screwed up.
	Oh, okay.
	That's the problem with these super long shows.
	I turn into John Fetterman at the end.
	Let's do the final video.
	Let's do the final video.
	You know, it'd be funny.
	What?
	If you had a big lump on your neck and you're like, I really am turning into John Fetterman.
	Okay, let's do one, two, five.
	We might do more than one video.
	What the fuck is happening here?
	Is this a joke?
	I think I got this from your Twitter feed.
	Yeah.
	I like this.
	Do you know what it is?
	Nope.
	No idea.
	It just looks gross.
	Looks like H.R. Geiger level stuff.
	Looks like footage from the game's scorn.
	So that's weird.
	And this is weird.
	129.
	You got to read the caption to really truly embrace how fucking bizarre and sinister this is.
	A parasitic worm has turned this snail into a zombie that mimics caterpillars, so it will be eaten by a bird where it can reproduce inside its gastrointestinal tract.
	Does this bother you to look at as much as it does me?
	No, I'm fascinated.
	Something about it feels like painful.
	Or when somebody talks about like putting your balls in a vice and tightening until they like.
	The snail's dead.
	That's just a shell.
	It looks like...
	And I assume they're not all going to live when the bird grabs them.
	Like, two of your boys are going to die.
	So the other parasitic worms can live inside the bird.
	Then the bird's going to die.
	Now what do you do?
	You're just a death thing.
	Wait, can't you just wriggle around on the ground and a bird will pick you up?
	Right.
	I guess the birds figured that out and now they have to take over eels.
	Okay.
	Eels.
	Snails.
	Snails.
	This one you've all seen a million times, but I was looking for it for a while, and it's just a fun way to end the weekend.
	I mean, and start the weekend.
	Good night, everybody.
	Hi.
	126.
	I know you've seen this a hundred times, but I just love it.
	These buckets are filled with grapes.
	What kind of grapes?
	Oh, wow.
	These are filled with chamberson grapes.
	And the winner this Saturday, who stomps the most juice, will actually win an overnight stay here at Shadow Along.
	You ready?
	You ready to try it?
	Yeah, sure.
	Let's go.
	Disgusting.
	Give us a 30-second time.
	Here we go.
	So what's the deal here?
	There's a contested stomp, and how are you measuring who does the best stomping?
	Whoever stomps the most juice wins an overnight stay, but it's not the only thing you can do.
	He's getting an overnight stay at the old hospital.
	Hello.
	All right.
	And if you win, you get to stay in shutter lawn.
	And what else do you have going on here?
	We have a great stumpy point of space.
	come and spend the day listening to live music, eating international foods, having wine tours and tasting, vineyard tours, seminars, arts and crafts.
	It's a lot of fun, a whole day.
	Stop.
	Oh, stop.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
	Oh, oh, I can't.
	Ow, ow, ow, oh, ow, stop.
	I can't stop.
	I can't breathe.
	Oh, stop.
	Ooh, ooh.
	Did you ever point out the fact that she was trying to cheat?
	Yes.
	I'm aware of the gag.
	But go back.
	You missed the two people pretending to care.
	Oh, oh, I can't.
	Ow, ow, ow.
	Ow, stop.
	Oh, stop.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Oh, I can't breathe.
	Stop.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, dear.
	I think she's actually hurt.
	No, I think she is.
	Yeah, she's hurt.
	She took a hard fall off there.
	Gosh, I hope she's okay.
	Okay, we're going to make sure she is.
	We'll try and check on her and get back to you as soon as we can.
	We'll be back right after this.
	That was oof.
	I served.
	You know Dire Maker by Led Zeppelin?
	Someone made that song with her.
	So it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
	You don't have to go.
	Oh, oh, oh, oh.
	I'm trying to look for it.
	It's really deep into the internet.
	Sorry, I interrupted Dinesh earlier.
	What were you going to say, Dinesh?
	Oh, basically that she was cheating and trying to get a few extra stomps in before it was Dover.
	Thank you, Dinesh.
	Thank you, guys.
	Have a fun weekend and get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	But I won't be abilitating.

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