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Oct. 21, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:12:06
S04E178 - OK GROOMER
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Time Text
It's a big girl banger.
It's a big girl banger banger.
Stretch marks tattooed on the 10 lines.
It's a big girl banger.
Live from New York.
It's get off my lawn with Gavin McKinnon.
It's a big girl banger.
Banger.
Kirby Curtain wanna see you get nicky.
Waking up to the eggs and bicky.
With a dude with the booty on the big waist.
Got some dunk in the trunk like a mixtape.
Plus size, fun size.
Got curves, don't swerve.
Strong, confident, hell of a chip.
Hell of a chip.
Skinny tweens, that's a hell of a fit.
Hell of a fit.
This a big girl banger.
Fly my plane to the hangar.
She got a thumb, thumb, fatty, fatty.
She wanna hump, hump, daddy, daddy.
Eating good, that's dinner, baby.
Mama, don't.
That's not a rapper.
That's a nerdy fiction writer, kind of a lefty, who noticed that he likes fat chicks.
And so he did a jokey song about it that blew up.
And I don't know if he knows what to do now.
I guess I'm a rapper now?
It's sort of like Aquafina, right?
She did that parody about her cunt.
Excuse my language.
And it was a parody of that My Dick.
Right?
That was how she broke into the scene.
And now she's a very accomplished actress who is a 7.8 with makeup and a 5 without.
She has an incredible range, Aquafina.
That's the kind of girl you see her all dressed up and you go, I'm going to marry this chick.
And then the next morning after the makeup's all over the pillow, you go, woof, you look like an old Chinese man.
We should be fishing on a dock with big pants.
I should be negotiating oyster bills with you.
I wouldn't kick right a bed for eating crackers, though.
But this guy likes a meaty.
And we shit on a lot of fat chicks on this show.
But what is fat?
Like, this is not...
This is not, we don't consider this a fat lady.
This is getting problematic.
You know?
But like, in fact, two of the girls in this video are pretty reasonable.
It's when you're like obese, like unhealthy.
And this isn't a weird, you know, unattainable body thing that we came up with.
Talk to your doctor about your BMI.
And if he says you're dying, then Gavin's right.
If he says, oh, you're a little plump, whatever.
You just had a kid.
Then Gavin's not mad.
This video is a great example of when, like, being represented as a black woman comes to bite you in the ass.
I have some good news and some bad news.
We got you a gig.
You're going to be in a music video.
Oh, my God.
Finally.
The beauty standard has finally caught up to my big body.
The song's called I Like Disgusting Fat Pigs.
It blew up on TikTok, I think.
Here he is talking about.
See, that's what he really looks like.
Hi, y'all.
An unfortunate white guy.
So this is not what we call a fat pig.
Like, no one, at least not me, is looking at her going, oh, my God, these fucking disgusting fat pigs.
Like, when Jordan Peterson got in trouble for talking about the Sports Illustrated model, actually, I can't remember where.
She was right on the line, I think.
I'm not a skinny snob.
I like him chubby.
It's when your like gunt hangs over your belt.
Dude, I've had this problem recently.
I think it might be from being hungover or something.
I'll have a normal body, right?
I think it's because I haven't been coming into the gym.
I've been jogging because I broke my, fractured my hand.
But I'll have like, I don't know, one General Sal's chicken and just go.
And I'll have like a TV body, like fat guy body, like fat bastard or RIPD.
Yeah.
You know, like a fat suit fatness.
And my pants don't fit.
And then I'll wake up in the morning normal sized.
Could it be sodium?
You're drinking those liquid IVs, right?
They help you retain water.
They have a good amount of sodium in there.
And it makes your face feel puffy and it keeps you bloated.
Fucking baby monsters.
That's what it is.
Those baby monsters where they go, why are you drinking Gatorade, you loser?
Get this IV thing.
Liquid IV.
It's the greatest thing in the world.
It keeps you super hydrated.
And I went, it's true.
All right.
However.
So I bought it on Amazon, and you're right.
That coincides with those fucking things.
And I'm thirsty as a seahorse after I have one.
Yeah, they're the thirstiest beasts on the world, yes.
I'm as thirsty as a seahorse.
I could eat a seahorse.
Oh, I am peckish.
I could eat a seahorse right now.
Retaining water.
Ooh, am I peckish?
I could tear the ass off one piece of sushi right now.
Ooh.
Water retention.
It's a big deal.
Boxers.
I'm not having those anymore.
Thanks for wasting my time.
No, it's still better for you to do that, but at a cellular level, you're retaining water.
How is it better to have this every time I eat a bean?
Well, you probably feel better to have more energy, right?
That's crazy.
That's fat bastard.
That could be fat, but also it's being bolstered up by the sodium.
Yeah.
I'm throwing those out.
You can have them.
Do you want them?
I would love them.
Take them away.
I had some last night.
I was coming on with a cold.
You were coming out with a cold.
You're dressed as you look like a Scottish vampire.
Va, I want to suck your blood.
Wait, that's what the fuck?
I'm sorry.
Okay, the new.
Hey, I'm looking to maybe have a little bit of your blood there, Paul.
Connie Keyswee about your blood.
It's funny because you're learning like a Glaswegian scumbag accent from me.
Yeah.
And you're going to go to Scotland and it's the equivalent of like a hillbilly accent.
You're going to go to Edinburgh and be like, hey, see, this people baby we hang.
It's too good for you, you know.
Oh, you're.
Hello.
No, the classy Brit Scottish accent is the Sean Connery thing.
So my dad affects.
I'd like two slices, please.
Hello.
It's a somewhat anglicised Scottish accent where they are capable of being posh and they over-annunciate all their words.
They sound something like a gentleman mixed with It's been a while.
You're making my ears bleed.
It's been terrible.
Speaking of pain, Jordan Peterson is having a lot of trouble with the fats.
And it's starting to hurt him.
You have hurt me today.
Joins me now.
Jordan Peterson, welcome.
I'm sorry for getting emotional, but I'm afraid.
Every minute women are gaining more weight.
It's not going the other way.
I'm sorry to say.
They won't stop eating.
It's not like it makes me happy to say this.
I wish it did.
I wish I could say yay.
Look how fat they are.
Hooray, let's throw a parade.
And what do the men do?
Who are they supposed to make love to?
Men can't reach their holes.
It's like, sure, you want to get on top?
Well, you bloody well signed my will and testament because I'm not going to make it through this.
Happy birthday to who?
Not me.
Not any man I know.
I've been to McDonald's.
I've been to Wendy's.
It's all women in there.
It's like, oh God, how about a me too?
For she also ate all my fries.
No child should go to bed hungry because their mother ate all their food.
When I was a boy in Canada, you used to be able to leave your pies cooling on the windowsill.
Good luck with that now.
Don't boink.
There's a fat woman eating your pie.
Damn.
I think yours is better.
Yeah, but the content's way funnier there.
Yeah, that was fucking quality.
He's got Kurt Metzger writing for him.
It's like, it's not fair.
Well, it's possible he stole your imitation.
I don't think he's ever Like, Mike Myers' Lauren Michaels is actually David Spade's Lauren Michaels.
Or, no, who's the other Waynesworld guy?
Dana Carvey.
It's Dana Carvey's Lauren Michaels.
And it's Miss Dr. Evil is Lauren Michaels.
Our guy in our DD group does a perfect Jeff Dahmer.
I wanted him to Skype in.
Why does your face Jordan Peterson when you say that?
It's my Ryan Katsu and Rivera impression.
How do you like it now, Bucco?
Anyway, so yeah, this guy in my D ⁇ D group, he puts the glasses on, he's got the blonde hair, and he does the voice real well.
By the way, you're coming to Chicago.
Yep.
We had to change the venue.
Yep.
Some dummy announced it.
Yep.
And he got attacked with angry phone calls.
And we're so weak.
I was just on InfoWars talking to Alex Jones about this.
We're so weak that one angry phone call and we go, okay, it's canceled.
Which then you get more backlash because people say you're a pussy and you don't support free speech.
And this guy, he was a dude who fought against the masks.
So everyone thought he was a real deal nigga.
Nope.
We're so weak.
And then Antifa gloats.
We got his venue shut down.
And the other people involved will go, now they're gloating.
And I go, yeah, they should.
That's what you do when you win.
You gloat.
So we have a new venue, which we'll announce day of.
But I'm thinking they might not have the technology for you to do your faces.
I believe they do, from what I heard.
Okay.
Because if they don't, you should just bring different costumes and do the imitation there with your actual face that your parents gave you at birth.
Yes.
That was gifted to me.
Okay, so we got that?
But they'll have the tech.
But yes, so we'll announce it.
I don't...
Yeah, we can.
It's northwest now.
Okay, good.
So here's Chicago.
The original place was due west an hour.
Well, it's a triangle, right?
Well, I got this here.
Chicago's here.
I'm Chicago.
Hello.
Okay, so there we go.
So Chicago is here.
I'm sorry.
You're going to have to spread it out a bit.
Other side.
Shall I move over here?
Yeah, I'll move over here.
Chicago's here.
Okay, here we go.
So here's Chicago.
The original place was somewhere like here.
Around there, I think, an hour.
It was here.
And then the new place is up.
It's an hour and 26 minutes northwest.
So it's here.
From Chicago, though.
From Chicago.
It's also an hour north of the first place.
So I don't think it's that big of a deal.
You're already traveling an hour from Chicago.
This is like an hour and 20 minutes.
And I heard it's not hard to get to.
It's not a dangerous area, too.
It's the south side of Chicago, isn't it?
Absolutely not.
It's the opposite of a dangerous area to go to.
Anyway, my very close friends know that I do a Christmas card that's very special every year.
We've been billionaires.
We've been homeless, punk rockers.
We've just had plastic surgery.
We've been in the witness protection program.
We've been Satanists.
For this card, I wanted to be insane over-the-top models, the whole family.
That's hilarious.
So I want to shoot at a real studio with like wind and stuff that you would do for a magazine cover.
And then I want to get someone to Photoshop our faces like insanely gorgeous.
So my wife looks like she's 19.
I have no wrinkles or anything and an awesome jawline.
And then it'll be even funnier when my kids are flawless because they are flawless.
They're little kids.
But I don't know anyone anymore.
I'm persona non grata.
So if anyone out there in the immediate New York area knows of a studio I could get for, you know, not a million dollars.
And if anyone knows someone who Photoshops pictures for a living, takes out imperfections, please let me know.
Also in the, oh yeah, we forgot, speaking of fat chicks, this is a kind of fatness we don't advocate.
And this is, This, to me, you know those fake eyelashes?
This is as stupid as the fake eyelashes.
I see, not available.
Oh, fuck.
It got deleted.
You know what else got deleted?
What?
Kanye West tweeted out, I love Jews, and it's all a bunch of Hasidic Jews in a huge room, and like there's like 10,000 of them, and they're all just dancing up and down, and you put rap music to it.
And they deleted that.
I don't think Hasidic Jews would mind that.
No.
I don't know why they deleted it.
He said he loves Jews.
Well, the video was a woman, her ass was this big, and her tits were that big, and her body was normal.
It was one of these Puerto Rican freaks.
Anyway.
Yeah, he was just on with Chris Cuomo's new show.
And that's an interesting thing, too, because the Nazis always say, oh, you're shekeling.
What is it?
Cucking for shekels.
Cucking for shekels and blah, blah, blah.
And you like the Jews.
And I'm like, no, no, my problem is, let's not restrict our hate here.
Like, the problem is the vast elites.
You're focusing on one little group within one little group within one little group.
And those guys are atheists.
They're secular Jews.
They hate Israel.
They hate Hasidim.
And they hate Orthodox Jews.
So either the secular Jews that you're putting all your eggs into that one little basket.
Who's Chris Cuomo?
I think his new thing is owned by Newsnex, Newsmax, I think.
Some guy named, I think his last name is Souk, Jerry Souk.
He's an old Texan dude.
He's not Jewish.
News Nation.
Chris Cuomo's, yeah, News Nation's owned by this massive media company that owns like 80 stations.
And none of them are Jews.
So your problems with the leads.
Let's not leave Bill Gates out of the hate list.
Please, please.
But anyway, he filmed it from his car.
And yeah, everyone's just running with the Kanye's a lunatic.
And then you hear him talking and you go, well, I don't agree with all of that, but you don't sound crazy to me.
That's just about the show, dude.
We're looking for the Kanye.
I think I emailed you the Kanye interview.
Or it was just below you there?
Why?
There we go.
Can Kanye survive this?
That's a million-dollar question.
I don't know.
So it says Cuomo slams Kanye on his anti-Semitism, but then you watch the video and it's just him.
Maybe there's more video we don't have, but it's just Ye defending himself.
The Jewish underground media mafia already started attacking me.
They canceled my four SoFi stadium shows, right?
They had the press, the same people, the 78 outlets that when I was arguing with Pete Davidson and Trevor Noah, they call me an abuser for arguing with people about my ex-wife and my family and when I get to see my kids and when I don't.
And they just immediately disrespect me.
Like, what's the counter to that?
I keep hearing how Cuomo tore him a new ass.
Doesn't look like he's tearing anyone a new ass, does he?
Boy, he had a fall from grace, didn't he?
Cuomi?
Yeah.
Poor Chris.
By the way, fake news alert.
Sorry, that was not He changed his name.
People do this a lot.
If they're verified, they'll change their name to like Elon Musk and change their profile picture, and then we'll get you.
And by the way, you were wrong yesterday with the oil thing being fake.
The heiresses to the Getty throne are all psychotic liberals who hate oil.
Oh.
As they live in giant oil mansions.
That's hurtful.
When I see Hasidim gather like that, I go, why can't we have that kind of unity?
Yeah.
I mean, they're a very unpopular group, but you got to hand it to them.
Actually, Jared Taylor said this to me once.
He goes, you have to hand it to a people who are able to preserve such a somewhat archaic culture for hundreds of years, completely surrounded with pornography and scantily clad women and Mickey Mouse and, you know, garbage bubblegum pop culture.
And they just stay perfectly situated in whatever it was, 1811.
I'm paraphrasing a bit there.
Also an important news, bears are pussies now.
Did you know that?
I knew this for a while, yes.
Dogs are, whales are dogs.
I know you non-evolutionary people don't believe that, but dogs started messing around near water.
They got in.
They started swimming around, and their paws went to more fin-like things.
Next thing you know, do you have this picture from a dog to a whale?
Okay.
And the next thing you know, they're breathing out of a hole in the top of their head, and they're a mammal with no legs, no fur, who just swims around eating plankton.
So dogs are whales, and now bears are cats.
Bears are pussies.
There's three guys go out in Wyoming, not even to hunt.
They're pussies.
They're going to find antlers, and a grizzly can't even take them.
Look at that.
Cut his face.
By the way, imagine how much pussy you're going to get.
Go back up.
So what happened to your face, dude?
I see there's a scar there and a scar there.
Yeah, I got in a fight.
Oh, my God.
Was he like a criminal?
What was the guy?
Oh, it wasn't a guy.
It was a grizzly bear, the most dangerous bear in the world.
One down from polar bear.
It goes polar bear, grizzly bear, black bear.
So the second toughest of the bear kingdom.
And then Nickelodeon's little bear all the way at the bottom.
Yeah, not anymore.
Teddy bears.
Like, I hope the bear involved in this sees this article and is like, that is all I did?
Oh, two tiny bites on his hand.
Pathetic.
Absolutely pathetic.
Maybe he was tired.
Look at this guy.
Yeah, he broke my wrist.
Yeah, so did a baseball at my son's last game.
Wait, really?
No, this was last summer.
No, it was the beginning of the summer, I guess.
Yeah, he was sliding.
I told you this, didn't I?
He was leading on second.
The pitcher saw him, turned around, whipped the ball to second.
Just from the pitcher's mound, my son dove.
The ball hit his wrist.
Not even a fracture, but just separate.
Fuck that.
Which sucks because he just got on this super elite team, and this was the first game.
He played the first game and the last game.
And I still had to pay quite a bit of due.
Wrists are weak.
Wrists are pussy.
Wrists are bears.
Yeah.
Wrists are the new bears.
So that loser couldn't even take them.
Go back down.
Go back to those pictures.
Keep showing them.
Pathetic.
Those guys, I could take them, but a bear can't.
And this is what they do.
No guns.
They just find cool antlers and then take them home and put them on their wall to decorate.
They're decorators.
A grizzly bear can't take four decorators.
And we have footage of a black bear.
So that's brown bears being pussies.
Now black bears are pussies too.
Look at this loser.
Oh!
Ow.
Eat the rock.
Yeah, the most damage he.
The rock is doing more damage to him.
And listen to its pussy little one.
It goes, look, I can't handle a human.
Just jump up on the rock, dig your teeth into his shoulder, and then just jump.
You'll both go tumbling down, and then eat him at the base of the rock.
Look, he's barely winded.
You're a loser, Bear.
Someone sent in something, too.
Look at the...
And you can see how the bears are reacting to this.
All this shit.
It's not good.
It's not good.
Wait a minute.
This is Friday's show.
So we'll see you in Chicago tonight.
Yeah.
That was kind of late notice I did with that graph.
This is a banked show.
I just gave it away.
Sorry, folks.
Okay.
I'm on a plane.
You'll understand.
Okay, that's the video attached to that.
No, no.
Bear got them hands email.
This was included.
Yeah, no, that's not what I wanted you to show.
I wanted you to show the picture of the bear who just saw this segment.
I'm clicking this sucker and it ain't opening.
This makes for bad TV.
This makes for bad TV.
All right, sorry, y'all.
I'm showing y'all email.
Y'all fucked up.
Look at him.
This is bears today.
You thought that men had lost their mojo and we've lost masculinity?
We've lost bar linity.
Look at that loser.
Let's go bear bashing after this.
I would love to.
Yeah, let's go kick some bear ass.
Hit them when they're down.
All right, let's start the show with a little bit of feminism.
Yeah.
Who here identifies as a feminist?
Who here identifies as a feminist?
We are the storm.
The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
You said I was too pretty to fight.
And that's toxic masculinity.
You don't realize how your behavior is hardcore.
Oh, my God.
Check the mail again for Spinster in three picks.
Spinster tail in three picks.
What I find amazing is American ignorance when they don't realize that, like talked to Alex Jones about this, they don't realize that the world is falling apart all around them, depleting, deteriorating.
And we're sitting there going, you want to get married?
Trust me, you're going to be miserable.
And they're like, yeah, you're just jealous.
You're intimidated by a powerful woman.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
And then they go their own way and it blows up in their face and they still don't realize what's going on.
Hey, I have a question for men.
I've not been approached by a man in person for seven, eight years.
Is this normal?
It just literally never happens.
Is being online the only way to get people to speak to you anymore?
Or is it part of the world I'm in?
Now you go, oh, maybe it's men.
They're losing their masculinity.
And then go to her face for a second there or go down.
She's cropped here.
So she obviously looks pretty in that picture.
But next slide.
Can't see anything.
I'm 35.
Yeah, that's it, babe.
No matter what we say, at the end of the day, we're still cavemen.
And cavemen are looking to mate.
They're looking to breed.
And 35, it's over.
I know it's possible to have kids after 35, but it's unlikely.
And it's risky.
And you're risking things like autism.
So, I mean, we're designed to start breeding from the first menstrual period, but that's an archaic notion that only Puerto Ricans follow these days.
But as far as a civilized society goes, you get your yayas out in your early 20s, I guess.
I've said it a million times.
You never see people happier than two Catholics who got married at 19 and started churning them out.
But for normal people, 25 to 35, you better start at 25.
And if you want five kids, you better start moving because by 35, the hourglass has been upside down and the sand is gone.
Sorry, lady.
And here's another thing, too, I meant to bring up.
We always talk about spinsters and you waited too long and you burnt your eggs out and you fucked up.
I'm seeing this with guys.
I'm seeing dudes, I know, who go, yeah, now that I'm 40, the 20-year-olds are totally grossed out by me.
And I don't really want to fuck a 20-year-old.
They're stupid.
I don't understand what they're talking about half the time.
So I'm with like divorced women who don't want any more kids.
They already have their two kids with their first marriage.
They're not interested in getting married.
And they're happy to bang.
So the sex is awesome.
But there's no relationship.
They're not interested in anything long term.
And yeah.
And there's fewer of them around.
You're just basically hunting for divorce bitches.
So it ain't easy out there for a 40-something dude either.
Unless he's rich.
Last slide.
Last slide.
I'm 35.
I'm petite.
I don't think I'm unapproachable, intimidating.
It just never happens.
Maybe I look older than I think I do.
Yeah.
Maybe my part of the world is weird.
No.
Maybe I'm weird.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
Nothing.
Nada.
Men avoid me like the plague.
I used to be good at this stuff.
Now I'm confused and feel small.
The last time I had a convo with a man, he reminded me he was super married like a million times.
Single men never speak to me.
Huh.
Yeah, I do that too.
I always mention my wife.
It's a weird sort of defense mechanism.
Because you're worried you're a creep.
It's sort of like when you're worried at custom that they think you have cocaine or something.
I find it works to pretend I do have cocaine and I'm sneaking my way in.
I don't know why that works, but you pretend you have a kilo of coke in your bag and you're calmer than when you're innocent.
Here's a woman in the workforce literally getting it backwards.
I will never stop standing up for big pharma and standing against my constituents.
Thank you, Randall.
I will never stop standing up.
Look at his face, too.
He's watching her hang herself, just going, interesting.
I gave you enough rope.
I guess what should my rebuttal be?
I, on the other hand, will stand up to Big Pharma and I will continue standing for my constituents.
I can speak English.
And I know that's unpopular with President Magoo.
Here's another woman not getting it, getting everything backwards.
Dress code.
They're enforcing a stupid dress code at my work.
Oh, that sucks.
What is it?
Like, really strict?
Well, you have to have bottoms.
Like, she thinks it's a sexist thing.
You just don't get how dress codes work, lady.
If you work at a normal office, you have to have pants on.
She came to work with no pants.
That was a long dismissal.
Look at her outfit.
I will never stop standing up.
That's her TikTok.
Show it again.
See what she's wearing?
It makes me horny, don't get me wrong, which I guess is the entire problem.
Like, if she was at my house and we just fucked, I'd like her to walk around like that, ideally with high-heeled shoes on, ideally watering the plants.
That would be great.
I'd have a coconut smasher.
As far as doing expense reports, yeah, it's not sexist.
We don't want porn stars reading kids' stories, and we don't want them in the office.
Put a burqa on, bitch.
You are me saying to you.
Yeah, so she does this TikTok thing.
You don't belong in the workforce, bitch.
None of you do.
That's her outfit.
It's just a shirt.
Excuse you, Anna Sweater.
And then I thought this was interesting.
This is a woman who doesn't know that races exist talking to other women about promiscuity.
Now, I'm sorry, but the average American black person has become so self-segregated that they have a different accent.
They have names that we don't have.
No white person is called Shaniqua, although I did meet a wigger whose daughter was named Neve, which is heaven backwards and is common in the black community.
So she's talking to these black people, black women, like they're the same as her.
Check it out.
You sleep with more than five guys.
Your chance of a happy marriage after 10 years goes from 80% to 25%.
Because the more men you sleep with, you lose your ability to bond with each one.
So if you sleep with one guy, you're going to compare the next guy to him.
If you sleep with 10 guys, you compare all 10.
If you sleep with 20, you compare all 20.
You're not likely to be divorced, but you're more likely to leave if you did that.
Did you know if you sleep with more than five guys, your chance of a happy person?
Lady, when you come up with these things, I'm sure that's true of white women, but black women have 25 partners probably as an average.
Their sex life is like homosexual sex life.
And you kind of have to factor that in.
And this is just a Zoomer who's been brainwashed into thinking race doesn't exist and there's no patterns.
So there she is telling a bunch of black people not to have, you know, more than one partner.
And I tried to look up what is the data on sexual partners that black women have.
And it's a very difficult thing to Google because we live in a country that worships black women.
So when you look up black women and sexual partners, you just get all this stuff about racism and how awesome black women are.
But I looked up pregnancy as a metric.
Black teens have a pregnancy rate that is nearly three times higher than that of white teens, as well as an abortion rate four times higher.
I think that abortion rate is higher just because they're pregnant more often.
Among women of all ages, the unintended pregnancy rate for blacks is more than twice that of whites, as is the percentage of unintended births.
Unintended births?
Is that miscarriages?
Think about what you'd think about.
Oh, I see.
No, you have the baby because you don't want to have an abortion.
So, yeah, that's funny.
And last item on the ladies segment.
I don't want to shit on broads too much, so I'd like to show something that women are good at.
Besides gymnastics, women are also good at tech ball.
Are you familiar with this sport, Ryan?
Hell no.
Check it out.
I don't think you can use your hands.
Yeah, you can't use your hands.
That looks really hard.
Here you go.
Off your tits.
Off my head.
Yeah, you can't use your hands.
Every time you think it's a slam dunk, the guy says it.
It's like Chinese ping pong.
It's like ching chong ping pong, yeah.
It's kind of fun to watch, too.
Nice.
So she did a good job there.
Great job.
Great job.
Let's jump to the War on Kids, because I got a lot.
I got a whole lot.
Hello, Maria!
Wait, the next change up!
I want you to meld LGBT and War on Kids, even though it's a cacophony.
Oh, is there a chance that maybe both of these things kind of intertwine?
Yeah, they're intertwangled.
You're living in an ages of human beings where children are to see as human garbage.
Poisonous and divisive left-wing doctors.
On your feet, soldier!
On your feet!
What is that music?
The On Your Feet Soldier.
That's one of our drops.
I know, but the guitar behind it.
I don't know.
It sounds like a remix of Leave Those Kids Alone.
What is it called?
Oh, you didn't make that?
No.
Hmm.
I know making nothing of that.
So I talked to Alex Jones about puberty blockers and the maiming of children, which we're going to look back on this era and go, what happened again?
But look at, this is in the mailbag, puberty blockers.
Got it on TikTok.
So I guess this is a dude?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a dude.
So he's a chick now.
This is my life as someone who has been both chemically and surgically castrated.
I am now owned by the pharmaceutical industry.
Okay?
This is not fun.
This is not glamorous.
This is not cool.
This is not part of any trend, okay?
This is serious shit.
That's a big basket.
I have no freedom.
I am owned by these, okay?
Do you understand what it feels like?
The thrill wears off very fast, okay?
So if you think it's funny to mess around with hormones, don't.
It's not fun.
It's not fun.
I hate this.
I hate this.
And I don't want to see anyone else go down a path that makes them reliant on this.
So that must have been a dude that became a chick and hates it?
Looks like it sounds like it.
Castrated.
You never say a woman was castrated, right?
Right.
Yeah.
So that was a dude.
But if he regrets it so much, why does he still look like a chick?
I guess you have to.
He can't turn around.
I guess you're just a gay and you still want to get laid, so I guess I'll stick with this chick thing.
Because if I dress as a dude and then I go to a gay bar and I take a guy home, he's going to be like, whoa, where did your dick go?
What happened?
The other weird thing is you can't fuck gays anymore, and you're not fucking anyone like me.
We don't want anything to do with you.
So you've narrowed down your possible partners to perverts.
Like Blair White's boyfriend is obviously a depraved pervert.
Yeah.
That's not a lot of people.
Not a lot of people are like, I like chicks, but I'd rather they're cunts for fake.
And they used to be a dude.
That's my kind of gal.
Says nobody ever.
You with somebody who has a wild fetish.
Oh, it's Sway.
Sway from MTV News.
Hi, Sway.
What's up?
That just reminded me of this really weird video I saw from Gigi Gorgeous.
I'm sending it to Ryan over at Censored TV, Sway.
And he's doing a parody of Scream.
And the monster that's in the house is his dad, and his dad wants to fuck him slash her, Gigi.
So you're doing my dad wants to fuck me jokes?
This is the guy.
We dug up pictures of him at Gigi's wedding, and we were just watching a Canadian hoser have his redneck heart snapped in two.
And he's like, so happy for my beautiful daughter.
Oh, shit, this ain't got no content in it.
Fuck, I saw that.
See if you can find Gigi Gorgeous's moments.
Maybe it's gone now.
That name kind of hurts my feelings because people used to call me Neni Gurgis.
Oh, really?
Yep.
Why?
Why Nini?
Nini Gurgis.
Oh, terrible.
I think they were insulting you, dude.
That's why I started wearing the hat.
You know, Sway, I've always wanted to tell you this.
Did you know that your whole thing with the giant headdress is what African women do, not African men?
So your whole headdress thing is an African woman thing.
Well, I don't know if you've seen my pictures, but I'm kind of fluid with the gender.
How do you get to someone's moments?
You click the film button?
Is that on Instagram, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think I screwed up.
I don't think we're going to find it.
I look for it.
We're making for bad TV.
He's wearing, she's wearing a Pepsi 80s Pepsi shirt.
Poop.
Anyway, I'll just tell you how it goes.
So she's, should we just say she?
I don't know.
It's confusing when I say he.
So it looks like a lady.
I don't think he cut his dick off, but whatever.
It's a tranny named Gigi Gorgeous.
Pepsi shirt, big tits, and Scream just was shown, I guess, on FX.
So she's doing a Scream parody.
And he's like, I'm in the house.
And she goes, Dad, is that you?
How you doing?
Fine.
I want to sleep with you.
I want to get into bed with you.
It's like, oh, dad, will you stop?
And then he says, remember when you were a kid and I used to touch you?
And she's going, Dad, that's enough.
And I'm just like, I don't get this joke.
Is it old or?
No, it's brand new.
It won't be there.
It was in the things that are at the top.
Oh, the stories?
Yeah, that's what I meant.
She doesn't have her stories.
I thought you said moments.
Frigg.
So it's gone.
So your stories die, right?
Yeah.
24 hours and they're dead.
Huh.
Maybe it was mirrored on her TikTok?
Maybe.
Anyway, who cares?
I'm just saying that.
That sounds creepy as fuck.
They're weird.
I'm not offended.
I'm just like, what?
Why are you doing that?
No, it's not there.
You'd see a Pepsi shirt.
She's washing the dishes in it.
Damn.
Again, the left comes at us with these allegations where they go, I go, Yeah.
Yes, that's what I'm trying to do.
You're trying to make voting harder.
Yep.
That's exactly what I'm trying to do.
Oh, Chris Ruffio, he used to be all about critical race theory.
Yes.
Now he's all about trans.
Uh-huh.
And he's trying to use it as a wedge.
He's even admitted it.
Yeah.
Do you know what a wedge is?
It's like a tool to raise awareness for your cause.
Oh, you just want to win.
Yeah.
I want to win the war on kids.
I don't want the perverts to win.
Thank you, John Oliver, for highlighting my work.
I always publicly announce my plan in advance, so these gotcha segments at the end are a nice confirmation that it worked.
We are winning on CRT and radical gender theory, and there's nothing you can do to stop us.
So much of the conversation around anti-trans laws involves massively overheated rhetoric that does not match the reality of kids' actual situations.
And interestingly, a lot of it's been fueled by some of the same players behind the critical race theory panic, who, as we discussed in February, were using it as a wedge issue to promote school choice.
In fact, one key architect of the CRT panic, Christopher Rufo, recently...
We should have more school choice.
Oh, you're just saying they're teaching bullshit in schools so you can have more school choice.
Yeah.
You're just using it as a tool.
Yeah.
I'm saying stop smoking.
You're getting throat cancer.
Oh, you just want people, you just want people not to have throat cancer.
That's why you're attacking cigarettes.
Correct?
What?
Right, Sway?
It's crazy.
He pivoted to attacking trans rights.
And he has openly discussed the strategy behind doing that.
What I'm looking at, and this is kind of an ongoing series, I just started it, is to take that same system of reporting, that same style of reporting as I did with critical race theory, but now taking a look at gender ideology.
What's happening right now is parents are feeling that.
They're feeling the, oof, this is kind of weird.
I'm kind of uncomfortable with this, but I'm scared to speak out.
And so what we have to do is we have to give them the kind of media narrative, kind of a justification or validation or substantiation of their concerns to say, hey, this is the kind of thing they're teaching in schools.
And then we have to give them the language where they can speak about it with confidence, they can speak about it directly, and they can speak about it with the requisite level of aggressiveness that it's going to take to say, hey, wait a minute, we have to stop this.
Yeah, he's basically giving people a script to repeat.
And say what you want about Chris Ruffo.
Like, for instance, that he's a fear-mongering troll who looks like what would happen if someone made the recipe for Ryan Gosling, but forgot to add the hotness.
He is very deliberate in how he tries to influence public opinion.
Ruffo suggested branding the discussion of trans issues under the umbrella of radical gender theory.
And he pointed out that conservatives should start using the phrase trans stripper in lieu of drag queen.
It has a more lurid set of connotations and shifts the debate to sexualisation.
And sure, anything can have a more lurid and...
Yeah, but the thing about Nazi and white supremacists is it's not true.
They are trans strippers.
They get money.
They're literally dressed like strippers.
Sexual set of connotations, if you just rename it, I'll show you.
Rain, sky jizz.
There, much worse.
Immersion blender, soup vibrator, spaghetti sauce, noodle loop.
See, this works on anything.
But in the middle of the day, hold on, hold on.
Sylvia's calling.
This will be important.
Hello?
Yeah, I'm so, so sorry.
I got reminded.
I'm not worth it.
I'm fucking freezing.
I got freaking blankets all on my head.
My nose is running like crazy.
Stinking man, man.
It's not crazy.
What is it talking?
Is your apartment cold?
It's freezing.
What do you think the temperature is in your apartment?
We should get you a heater.
No, I'm scared.
I don't even want to coffee.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you had that fire.
Okay, I'm going to get back to the show, Sylvia.
Okay, sounds good.
Yep, gotcha.
She called me the other day.
Gavin, I'm sorry.
Can you come to the South Bronx and drive me to the BABA?
What?
Yeah, and do you need to drive back?
I got to sit there.
You got a stupid haircut?
No, the BABA pays for my Uber back.
Really?
Okay.
That's a good deal.
Not the Uber there.
You know what?
Fine.
I got some time.
I'm going to be in the area.
Yeah.
So I drive down there.
I get there.
I have a key to her apartment.
Open the door.
There's a blind chihuahua with no hair barking like a maniac.
And her walker's there.
I'm like, Sylvia, Sylvia?
And then I'm thinking, oh, great.
Did she pass out in the bathtub and I nude and I have to like fuck her to bring her back to life like Prince Penis?
And then she calls me.
I'm in her apartment.
She calls me.
Gavin, I'm so sorry.
Look, I forgot that I called a cab right before I called you.
So I got in.
I'm at the barber now.
Alrighty.
Well, this guy's watching, and I still get the point.
And I'll mention it on my show.
I'll get some, what do you call that?
Social merits, virtue, credibility, social credit fruit.
He was almost done.
Hey, book, that tactic is a really big one.
Linking discussion of gender identity to sexual predation and teachers grooming students.
We agree.
Okay, so that's a crazy link, is it?
Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, I also agree that that link is crazy.
So remember when the well, let's just have a big look.
Remember, go to 2.9.
Remember when the Proud Boys made that assumption?
We had them on the show here?
This was a while ago?
No, is that 2.9?
There's a couple under 2.9.
2.9?
This is the first one.
Who disrupted the drag queen story hour at the San Lorenzo Library on Saturday?
The sheriff's office tells ABC that they're now trying to determine if hate crime charges were child.
Uncertain was when the sheriff met with library staff.
The posters in the window at the San Lorenzo Library are sending a message following what happened here on Saturday.
Oh, I got it.
On Saturday, I feel it's very unfortunate because everyone has a Saturday afternoon.
Panda Dolce was reading to younger people.
Panda Dolce.
Remember him?
Now go to 30.
What do you mean by old version?
I've only sent you one version, Ryan.
Oh, okay.
One has spaces and the other one doesn't.
I'll cut it out, but I'll show you.
Spaces.
See, this one has no spaces and looks like a cluster, and this one has spaces.
Alright.
So I got it.
Anyway, 30.
That's not two below 29, but whatever.
Learn to use eyeballs.
Shut the f*** up and suck my...
I will test me when I'm crazy on the airplane.
Put my foot down real quick till you're in my shoe.
F*** the man, it's my name that is screaming.
What about the kids that look up to you?
Do you have a message for them?
All the kids looking up to me insult my.
Okay, zoom out a bit so people can see.
That's what is that called again?
How dare you meet you?
How dare you meet you?
A drag queen story.
So I want you to send it to this woman.
Go to 2.6.
This old bag.
So her name's Karen...
Zoom in on that?
Karen Tamulte.
Karen Tamulte.
And she's having a nice day at the botanical gardens or something.
And she sees a bunch of Proud Boys there attacking children.
Just children who wanted to hear a story from a drag queen.
You know, as children do.
And she claims their goal was to intimidate a small contingent of parents who had brought their mostly preschool-aged children to the park to hear a drag queen tell stories.
Oh, like Panda Dulce.
By the way, Proud Boys were facing hate crime charges for disrupting Panda until the video that got out that we just showed you.
And then guess what happened?
The whole story vanished along with the hate crime charges.
Hmm.
You don't say.
And the media did not go near any of the indemnification, any of the righteous truth that came out of this.
They just dropped the story.
But these kind of stories, they get legs.
Their goal was to intimidate.
The harassment of little kids and their parents that day was a vivid display of the new, more localized strategy that the Proud Boys have embraced since their national leadership dissolved and the crackdowns and arrests that followed Jan 6.
The Anti-Defamation League, which tracks their activities, told me it had seen an uptick in such antics in June, which is Pride Month, that the Proud Boys have continued at a brisk pace since then.
So since Pride Month, Proud Boys have been on a tear, according to the ADL.
Now, she didn't call any Proud Boys, and her email is listed at Washington Post.
So I emailed her like 15 examples of drag queen story hour people who became, were outed later as child sex offenders.
She blocked my email.
It was rejected.
So if you can get her on Twitter, go to 27.
And every time you see another example of a drag queen being linked to child molestation, please send it to her.
Please at her.
I can't.
I'm banned, which is why I'm banned.
But she goes, they looked plenty scary.
Although the children, some of whom were in strollers, were too young to read their signs.
One had the homophobic slur groomers with a big red X over it.
It's homophobic to notice a pattern.
Do you believe the transphobia here, folks?
Suggesting the story was a sexual abuse tactic.
Another placard declared, you are not born in the wrong body.
And another, the irony of which surely escaped them, said in part, science is real.
No, no, no, you're the one that's being ironic, my dear.
Apparently, in their view, parental rights extend only to causes with which those on the right agree, such as banning the teaching of uncomfortable racial history.
No, we're not banning the teaching of uncomfortable racial history, you stupid old cow.
We are saying we don't want our children lied to about America being steeped in racism and everything being about slavery and Jim Crow and blah, blah, blah.
We're happy to teach slavery.
Are you happy with us also teaching there was white slaves?
Should we get into that?
Should we get into the fact that we warred with the Indians for 400 years and eventually won?
Shall we get into the fact that nowhere in the world is anyone safer and happier, including minorities and gays and trannies, than in America?
So that's what we have a problem with, is you brainwashing our children.
Or refusing to vaccinate their children.
Yeah, that's political.
Then again, consistency has never been exactly been a hallmark of fringe thinking.
So it's fringe thinking.
In any case, stand back and stand by.
The Prowboys are coming maybe to a park near you.
Like just, lady, browse libs of TikTok and tell me that it's crazy.
And John Oliver, too.
Browse Libs of TikTok and tell me that I'm crazy.
2-6?
And I listed a bunch.
You can look them up yourself.
Jada Dean, Tatiana Milanena, William Travis Dees, Brett Blom, Nathan Flojob Mullen, Darren Sewell, Anastasia Diamond, all facing sex charges.
Did you hit 2-6?
Oh yeah, that's 2-6.
And go to 2-8.
Here's a bunch more examples.
This one is brutal.
Australian woman has been convicted for filming herself masturbating her penis next to a young child and possessing dozens of child sex abuse content.
The judge called the content depraved because the victims included toddlers and babies.
Okay, so they're going to say, well, that's not a pattern.
There's plenty of priests who rape boys.
Yeah, they're called gay priests.
But go back to that article so people can look it up on their own.
Post-millennial, Andy Ngo.
Well, click on it.
Okay.
That's the article.
What is this?
Go to 3-1.
This is the Anastasia chick.
There's been a few in Houston of all places.
Oh, wait.
Side note.
Side note.
And zoom out so people can look this up themselves.
Look at the way this woman thrusts herself onto the screen at the beginning of this.
She looks like she just got an electric shock up her ass.
Well, like the puppet that's working her.
You'll know I'm filming.
The way we tell people that we're filming is I have an intern put his finger up your butthole.
Okay?
So when you feel the finger, insert it in your ass, and it's not going to be gentle.
It's going to be like a jab.
So I'm going to have my finger on your anal lips.
And then when we start filming, I'm just going to go like that.
Okay?
Can't we just do countdown?
No, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
This is the way it goes.
And breaking news, we have just confirmed.
Again.
And breaking news, we have just confirmed that a registered.
Looks like he got the finger.
Doesn't his face look deep fake?
Oh, you don't have to do that for me.
I'll know that I'm on because when she jumps, I'll start.
No, no, no.
We have a high budget.
His face looks like the deep fake we had at the beginning with Jordan Peterson, doesn't it?
And breaking news, we have just confirmed that a registered child sex offender has been reading to children at a Houston public library as part of...
Get your phone off your desk, lady.
Drag queen story hour.
This is brought to our attention by a group who's been trying to put an end to the program.
A media spokesperson for the library confirms one of those drag queens, Tatiana Malanina, is really Alberto Garza, a child sex offender.
In 2008, he was convicted of assaulting an eight-year-old boy.
Most young parents would not allow that individual to sit in this library.
Sasha In.
Please send this clip to Karen.
Is her name literally Karen?
Yes.
Yes, send that to Karen.
The library issued a statement saying that.
So is she a Nazi?
Is she a proud boy?
Is she a rat?
Is that fringe thinking?
And there was a greeter there, William Travis Dees.
Greeter in a house.
He was a greeter in Houston.
I don't know if he's at the same place that Anastasia was at, but he was caught with sexually molesting four-year-old, a five-year-old, a six-year-old, and an eight-year-old.
You rarely hear with pedophiles, it's usually slightly prepubescent or just post-pubescent children, but you rarely hear four, five, six.
That's like for the real fucking sickos.
And then we had this one in Central PA that Nancy needs to hear about.
It's not fringe thinking to address this.
Wait, that's the Houston guy.
No, no, that's the Central PA guy.
Yet another drag queen arrested for child sexual abuse images.
Go to the first paragraph.
Franklin County, North Carolina, following a two-year investigation.
Bryce.
Blow it up.
I can't read it.
Bryce Patrick Raishon Williams was charged with 25 counts of child pornography, a class 2 felony, as well as 18 counts of criminal use of a communications facility.
Williams is a drag queen who goes by Anastasia Diamond.
Is that the one I mentioned earlier?
No, Tatiana Milanina was the one I mentioned earlier.
I mean, it's weird to laugh about child rape, but the examples just keep coming.
And you know what?
Go back to that article.
When you read one, if the journalist is worth half his salt, you go down, there'll be a list of other ones.
They'll go, this is yet another.
And then they list them all here.
There's Brett Blom, Nathan Flojob.
The people funding them tend to have a history of sexual assault allegations.
And if you go to 3-3, Redux, R-E-D-U-X-X.info also has a bunch.
3-3, a drag queen who performed under the name Miss Rachel Rear.
There she is.
Send it to Nancy, please.
Has appeared in court on charges related to the possession and production of indecent and prohibited images of children.
Rachel Rear is actually Andrew Duncan, 24.
He's facing multiple counts related to 17 pieces of child sexual abuse materials he was found with.
Some of the materials were media of real children, and others were illegal fantasy depictions of children engaged in obscene pornographic acts.
Or go to 3-4.
We have another one.
Now, the ones I've been giving so far are directly related to Drag Queen Story Hour.
This is just a trans-identified male found with depraved child sex abuse materials.
Okay, let's get these in front of our kids, shall we?
Blow it up?
An Australian man who identifies as a transgender pledge guilty of three offenses related to possessing extreme child sexual exploitation materials, including videos he created himself of performing sex acts next to a sleeping five-year-old.
Are we still fringe?
Is this still fringe?
And here's a bizarre one.
So here's a doctor talking about someone who didn't get the proper, I don't know, gender-affirming surgery, and she killed herself, which is good for business.
Because the more these people kill themselves, the more we can justify these superfluous operations, and the more we get the money.
Hey, if you're a socialist, I would focus on this as a problem with capitalism.
You've incentivized child mutilation.
There's money involved.
So hospitals are doing it.
That's one of the most negative things I've heard about capitalism in a long time.
So run with that.
But let's look at Dr. Julia Mason.
There she is.
And boy, was it good for her hospital's bottom line when that tranny killed herself.
I have the clip here.
The child stepped boldly in front of a tractor trailer.
Imagine seeing a child kill themselves and going, what bravery.
How courageous of you.
And in the final days of 2014, a local 16-year-old young lady, Leela Elkhorn, of trans experience, stepped boldly in front of a tractor trailer, ending her life.
Her suicide note, written to post on social media about an hour after her death, went viral literally around the world.
Oh, great advertising.
Now, Leela was not my patient, but I took care of hundreds of her classmates at Kings Mills High School.
But each day, on the way to work, I passed that spot where this team boldly ended her life pleading for her.
Twice.
She got boldly twice there.
Wow, I guess that was bold.
Alex Jones calls these people demons, and for that he was fined one Genzillion dollars.
It's over a billion, by the way.
As he pointed out.
Do they sound demonic to you?
Do you see a pattern there?
I think demons would resent the comparison.
How dare Chris Ruffel say we need tactics to stop this, and we need the proper vocabulary to get the message across.
This isn't to make money like the hospitals do.
I don't gain anything when you don't maim children.
I just live in a society where it's frowned upon.
That's my goal, for child mutilation to be frowned upon.
And if that's fringe, well, then I'm living on the edge.
All right, let's get to the mailb.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Gavin, if you want to have a rock hard boner for men while crying to overwhelming heroics, watch the movie 13 Lives.
It's based on a real-life incident.
As you may recall, in Thailand, when those kids got stuck at the thing-amadoodle, some moron brought them to a cave that floods.
Like, that guy needs to be punished.
He brought a soccer team on a trip without checking the tides and the possible danger.
And then who came to save them all?
White people.
Can you imagine if it was an all-black diving team that rescued these kids?
We'd be hearing about it for the next 200 years.
But no one mentioned that it was all British dudes who figured it out.
diving nerds.
"It takes a certain kind of mindset for the deep cave diving.
You have to be a bit nuts." Remember Elon Musk said, I think I could make a little rocket that could go in.
And then the divers said, what, like a dildo?
And then they said, what are you, pedophile?
or maybe elon called them pedophiles hello hey we're here how many of you 13.
13 they're all alone Can we go out now?
Yes.
I think I'd have a panic attack.
There were times where you were completely scrunched.
Like your back and your belly were scraping along the rocks.
You try and dive those kids the whole way.
All you've been bringing out is dead bodies.
All right, that looks fun to watch.
Let me put that on my movies list.
Funny how at the end of the day, usually you're so tired, you sit down and you're like, all right, I got the rest of the night to myself.
I'm going to chill out.
And then you go, I don't know what to watch.
So keep a list on your phone of movies to see.
American Holocaust.
What are you saying?
Making a list.
Checking it twice.
Amy Siskind has a tweet out.
I bumped into her the other day.
I said, Amy, how's your war on white men going?
She pulled out her phone to record me.
I'm saying yes to everything.
If your group or organization is having a Zoom call or event to rally the troops for midterms and want me to jump on, send a DM.
I'm 101% devoted for the next three weeks to getting out to vote and making sure there's no white males being elected.
Meanwhile, she destroyed her ex-husband's life, got his house, destroyed it, rebuilt a mansion, three times the value, with his money.
So shouldn't you be thanking white males?
Anyway, here's an official decree for baby monsters.
If you get her on a fake Zoom call and prank her, we will award the funniest fake Zoom $101.
Nice.
Okay?
Because we think that would be funny.
We're $101 committed.
Yep.
Fuentes debate.
Can we have a liberal atheist versus Jewish power debate, please?
Both of you make compelling points, but a debate that's done in good faith.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Nick and I should discuss the Jews.
Yeah, then there's no fucking personal barbs.
That's the worst part of that.
When they debate and then it gets like all fucking personal and tense and shitty.
It's like, all right, guys.
But it's a tough subject because you're talking about 3,000 years of civilization.
And 300,000 lives that were lost.
But yeah, that's something.
I mentioned that to Ron Coleman and Ezra Levant.
I said, why don't you talk to like the Knicks and the Owen Benjamin before, right, when he was starting that stuff?
And they're like, ah, their ship has already sailed.
Which I don't really believe.
I think they just thought, it's like arguing with the flat earther.
Like, you need to know all of their arguments.
But I would eat into that.
I don't know if it's the same area, but update on van life in NYC.
My link doesn't work.
Maybe yours does.
This is, as we've dubbed it, Van Alley.
A bunch of like-minded individuals coming and going.
Van Alley is just kind of a dead engineer.
Is that where?
Yeah, that's where I was.
That's in the Bronx.
James Burke.
Wait, that looks like that's not in the Bronx, though.
Oh.
Looks like it's in.
Oh, wait.
Maybe this is a thing.
It's a thing.
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah, there's no view of the city.
Long Island City, maybe?
Oh, yeah.
So I wound up just kind of living here.
So this is my van.
This is an old 87 Dodge Explorer.
Barely sleeps me back here.
You're welcome to take a peek.
Got a little kitchenette inside, you know, refrigerator, propane stove, full shower in there, toilet.
Being in the city with no rent is pretty great.
This is the van that I'm working on currently with Liz.
As you can see, the walls are up.
This is the quarter-inch ceiling.
This is a great laptop storage.
These are the 360-degree view, so you can see her there as well as there.
This is the Nature Set toilet.
Dometic fridge.
Pardon the coronas.
Virus not included.
This is my van.
My van is a complete disaster right now.
I'm a bigger dish.
That's not going to happen.
No rent to pay when your parents help you buy a $60,000.
If I was them, I'd lock up like South Africans lock up before they go to bed.
When coming into your house, make sure the electric fence is on, spikes are set, front door is chained.
Security motion light is activated.
An interior padlock is set behind the metal doors.
Seems reasonable.
Coming into the house, you want to make sure that your baton and mace is by the front door.
Front door is locked and closed.
And also, the alarm is set.
Now it's night, night time, South Africa style.
How's it where you are?
Going to bed.
Not that bad, but we're getting there.
The false canonization of Matthew Shepard.
This is an oldie but a goodie.
He wasn't murdered for being gay.
There's a great book about it called The Book of Matthew, where they explain that he was just a meth head who got in over his head and a drug deal gone bad, but he was used.
You know, what inspires me about that story is it'd be good to do a book of all the biggest myths, like the Tulsa Massacre, Matthew Shepard, the, you know, we took the land from the Indians, we started slavery, all that kind of stuff.
Wouldn't that be fun?
That'd be a handy book for a young man to have.
All right, Ryan's got to go, so we'll rush through this.
G-Dog and Rye Guy, as a fellow butt boy and phone addicted dad, I'd like to cut down on my usage.
I'm not your fucking boss, blah, blah.
Can you give me a review?
Yeah.
I haven't started using it yet, but I'll let you know.
I'm going to quit my Airbuds because I hear they have EMF in them.
Oh, God.
That's a new thing that it's really bad for you to have the wireless Airbuds.
So me and my wife are going to quit.
Okay.
Big deal.
Good to know.
Big deal.
Too bad when you started telling us that I quit caring.
Oh, no.
Okay, last one.
Canada murdering veterans.
Hopefully you're not in jail yet.
You can get pissed about the story.
Canadian veteran called the VAC, which is a Canadian Veterans Association, looking for psychological help about PTSD.
The phone operator started recommending medical assistance in dying.
This is a white problem, folks.
We are suicidal.
The Mexican VA doesn't do that.
Like, it's a Northern European thing.
It's a Canadian thing.
Euthanasia is just a great idea.
Why are we like that?
Why are we so ethno-masochistic?
When the veteran refused and said that wasn't what he was going for, not only did the employee keep recommending it, he told him, it would be better than blowing your brains out.
Thanks.
That's not really why I called the suicide hotline.
To double the what the Canadian fuck factor, he then told the veteran that he should be open to it because he had already assisted another veteran ending his life.
And as a good Samaritan would, he helped find a good therapist for his wife and children to cope with the loss.
So that's a video on it.
You can check.
Zoom out so we can see the guy.
The VAC told this veteran who was looking for help that he should look into MAID.
Medical assistance in dying.
Which, if you're not.
MAID, just cleaning up.
Cleaning up.
All right, let's get to the final vid.
Short episode.
Short episode.
Okay, go to 3.5 first.
You see a funny little clown car is on the bed of a tow truck.
This guy's well-known in the hood, and that's his car.
And he shows up to pretty much everything, but it's illegal for him to drive that around as a vehicle.
It's not road safety.
And so it was taken away from him.
But he was just a regular dude who was just popping around the neighborhood.
In fact, here's some footage of the kind of stuff that he would do in his tiny car.
Is that 3-4?
Yes.
Sorry.
He tried to bend the car, nigga.
Wasn't going nowhere.
Nigga was spinning right there in the middle of the street, Sao.
Charlie.
Oh, shit, Cook.
Goddamn.
Oh, shit, Southern Cup.
Hey, come, we got the goddamn colour.
We got the goddamn minutes of car here, Sao.
What the fuck going on, Carter?
Only in Cleveland, South.
Only in Cleveland, South.
That bitch running.
Oh, sitting in the slide, that bitch out of cup.
That bitch running off of three AAA batteries, South.
That bitch running off of vegetable oil.
What the fuck happened?
Power steering.
I'm going nowhere, man.
What the fuck happened?
What the fuck happened?
Y'all driving crazy out here.
All right, folks.
So if you're in Chicago tonight, northwest, perfect diagonal line from Chicago Center.
It's near McHenry, I think, is the area generally.
And yeah, we're going live tonight.
They tried to kill us.
They tried to shut us down, but the show must go on.
Penn State must go on.
So we've got a show tonight, right?
No.
Yesterday.
Yesterday.
Hope you enjoyed the show at McHenry.
It was at McHenry, actually.
Wait, no, we'll show this show Thursday.
Okay.
No, no, this is Elijah's show.
So we hope you enjoyed the show last night.
At McHenry.
Henry.
The Vixen Great Club.
Yeah, the Vixen.
That's where the show was.
Hopefully I'm alive.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
This could be morbid and weird.
Yeah.
Actually, clip that Chicago part out.
Not out, but like copy it, and then we'll put that up as a free thing on the site or on my getter or something as an ad.
Oh, for the actual show.
Okay.
Very confusing.
So this is Friday.
So the show was yesterday.
Got Penn State coming up on Monday.
Kookie times we're living in, folks.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
And I don't want that taloopa.
There we go.
I'm a whistle like a dipset.
I don't want a skinny girl, I want a thick set.
Sit down, don't make yourself at home.
We like a girl with some meat on her bones.
It's a big girl banger.
It's a big girl banger, banger.
Stretch marks tattooed on the tan lines.
It's a big girl banger.
Banger.
Stretch marks tattooed on the tan lines.
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