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Oct. 20, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:30:55

GOML LIVE #170 - BETTER CALL SAUL ANAL BEADS (Part 1)

State Trooper Dickman pops by and we do a deep dive on the dangers of Drag Queen Story Hour.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Bonjour tout le monde, bienvenue à Get Off My Lawn Lounge.
	We're joined by State Trooper Dickman over there.
	And of course, the co-host, Matty O'Dell is back.
	What's going on, everybody?
	Good to be seen.
	Now, that was Ortiz and Kinsey, some, I don't know, Parisian rap chicks.
	Baby Monster sent in.
	Seemed like a good idea at the time.
	Ooh, they're attractive.
	It'd be cool to marry a French chick because the sex would just always be hot and it would go on forever.
	But she's definitely going to cheat on you.
	That's something you got to think about.
	There's no fidelity in France.
	We have a very exciting show for you today because we have zero sponsors.
	We fired our ad guy last week for allowing one of our sponsor's websites to be taken over by one of our fans who made it into a racist site because he thought it was funny.
	And to be frank, it was.
	It was a good gag.
	But our ad guy is either in on the gag and fucking with us, which means you're fired, or he's so stupid that he didn't notice we were being fucked with, in which case you're fired.
	So he's actually fired twice.
	We've let him go twice in one firing.
	That's almost as many times as I've been fired.
	He's getting there.
	What a boob.
	I've never been fired twice in one day, though.
	That's fucking crazy.
	This is in the same firing.
	Yeah.
	And you know what?
	We'll go to our grave, never knowing if this guy was just so bad that he's bad, or this guy's a fucking genius that was a character for what, four years?
	Where he pretended to be the most annoying ad sales guy in the universe.
	We'll never know.
	The world may never know.
	Wow.
	Wow!
	Wow.
	I guess, you know what, we'll follow him.
	Please.
	His name is Vince, by the way.
	I'm not gonna say his full name.
	We'll follow him, and if his next gig is like working with Nathan Fielder, or something, we'll go, you fucker!
	But if his next job is ruining someone else's life with terrible ad sales...
	I had the ad guy go to Gavin McInnes' show, and- That's my Nathan Fielder, by the way.
	Kinda sucks.
	Can I try to learn an impression on the show?
	Yeah, but don't learn in public, though.
	I figured- Are we at a skate park?
	I think it'd be cool to show you the process.
	No, it's not.
	We don't want the process.
	We want- This show should be packaged presents under the tree, ready to go.
	I feel like I could do it.
	Just give me one second with this guy.
	Leave them to your heirs.
	So anyways, I'm looking for luggage or something like a warehouse to do my prank in, and then I realize I look like the Tin Man without makeup on.
	And that's pretty much how I do the thing.
	He's kind of got a bit of Kermie Jordan-Peterson in him.
	Yeah, he's got it.
	Maybe that's a Canadian thing.
	Yeah, he's got a deeper Kermit the Frog voice.
	Yeah, he's a deep Kermie.
	Wait, is it a Canadian thing?
	I think he's from Vancouver.
	Trent Pearson is from Toronto.
	Canadians that have that voice?
	That's a scoop.
	So yeah, this is the live show.
	It's sponsored by sponsors who don't exist anymore.
	I don't know what we're going to do about that.
	I don't really care.
	The income from sponsors was like 20 grand a year or something.
	It wasn't really a mark on the Richter scale.
	But what we do on this show is we have a super chat that appears here.
	100 bucks.
	We definitely read it.
	Damn.
	Wait, what's going on?
	You go to the live show on a browser, this will not work on the app, and then you see this little beautiful blue button.
	Do it as Chinese Trump.
	Frankly, if you look at this beautiful screen, right, you could donate a button, right, or something like that.
	And basically, you give the money and we're going to read you a beautiful, beautiful message, okay?
	- Rear-rovery messages.
	- Really rovery. - Rear-rovery messages.
	- Can my teeth be more yellow?
	- Yes.
	- I look like I own a British pub 'cause I'm in Britain.
	- Is that light to the left of you on?
	- Yeah, they're on.
	- Okay.
	So yeah, we do the super chats that appear there.
	We read letters and we also take calls.
	So it's three access points to the show and we wanna hear what you have to say, what your gripes are.
	If you have nothing to say, we have a million things to say.
	The reason we're doing the live show on Tuesday instead of Thursday is we have a show in Chicago on Thursday.
	Josh decided we should announce the venue.
	He had some gumption.
	He had some hubris.
	He caught his druthers.
	And he said it's going to be at, what was it, Bauber House or something?
	In Lombard, and the owner got bombarded with... He got Lombarded with... He got Lombarded with Media Matters and Antifa screaming and freaking out, and of course his first reaction was, OKAY IT'S CANCELLED!
	But holy schmokes!
	Which really, what were you holy schmokes-ing?
	Lots of big boy donations here.
	A couple hundred, one five hundred.
	My lord.
	We're real close to 20,000.
	We love Max.
	We love John.
	So he capitulated like that.
	And I was talking to Alex Jones today.
	We'll put up the show on Friday.
	But I was just like, he's like, what are we going to do?
	How do we fight back?
	And it's like, that's like asking how we fight back against Some bratty 13-year-old girl with blue hair.
	Like, we're not up against Chuck Zito here.
	We're not up against MS-13.
	These are not worthy adversaries.
	All you have to do is pick up the phone, for example, and people go, you know you're harboring a fascist?
	Go... And I know it's weird to hang up an iPhone like that, but that's what you have to do because it's not dramatic to go...
	Stop capitulating.
	The Drag Queen Story Hours.
	You know how you shut them down?
	You don't need bomb scares.
	You don't need violence.
	You don't need screaming faggot.
	Just show up there and go, this is gay and I don't want it to happen.
	Okay.
	That is huge.
	So it's an elephant up against a mouse cowering and shaking and You know, I was watching a nature show with an elephant in it, and it was really sad.
	It had this thorn in its paw, and it was amazing because you could hear the thoughts of the animals in this nature show.
	And he had a thorn in his paw, and you could see he was in pain.
	And then there was a little mouse who showed up, and of course elephants are scared of mice, so he sort of went...
	And the mouse was like, I can get rid of that for you.
	Just calm down.
	Stop freaking out.
	I can get rid of that for you.
	And the elephant is like, anything, I'll do anything to get this out.
	And the mouse goes, anything at all?
	And so the mouse scurries up and he whispers into the elephant's ear, I want to fuck your ass.
	And the elephant's like, okay, I guess.
	I mean, how does that even work?
	He goes, don't worry, you'll know.
	And so he pulls the thorn out and he goes, it's time.
	And the elephant's like, look, I'm so happy to get that thorn on my paw.
	You can go do whatever you want back there.
	I'm not sure how you think it's going to work, but go nuts.
	So the mouse scurries up his hind leg and he pushes his tail out of the way so he can get to the asshole.
	And then the fucking mouse just sinks his tiny, tiny, tiny little cock into the elephant's butthole, which is, I mean, he's just really going near the anal lip.
	There's no real penetration going on.
	And he's holding onto the tail like this and he's going, oh yeah.
	And nearby, about a block away, which in the jungle is like seven trees, this monkey wakes up.
	And he's like, oh, I love this jungle.
	I love my family, my wife.
	I'm so set up here.
	It's such a... What the fuck?
	He looks over and he sees a mouse fucking an elephant up the ass.
	And he goes, what the hell has happened to this jungle?
	This used to be prime real estate.
	And now we have mice fucking elephants up the ass right next to my kids, right in front of me.
	Because I've had enough of this shit.
	And he grabs a coconut and he just fucking whips it at the elephant.
	And it goes soaring through there and it goes PONK off the back of the elephant's head and the elephant goes AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Unrelenting perverts destroying our society.
	Every fucking day I tune in and there's more Drag Queens.
	We're going to do a little, a little, a big deep dive on it on Friday.
	But the boomers are in total denial.
	This whole thing is out of spite, by the way.
	Drag Queen Story Hour has nothing to do with drag queens or kids.
	It is something that makes me and you mad.
	So let's do it.
	Like if eating shit Made us go, oh gross, these liberals are eating shit, I'm gonna barf.
	They'd be like, ha ha, look he's barfing, yeah.
	That's what they're doing.
	Except instead of getting sick from eating feces, they're polluting their child's brains.
	Just to spite us.
	I almost feel like we should be like, calm down, we love drag queens, it's good, it's good.
	To make them stop?
	Like they're holding their kids at ransom.
	They have a drag queen pointed to their kid's head.
	And they're like, yeah?
	You like that?
	Calm down, calm down.
	Let the kid go.
	So this one is from today, 11C.
	And it's a man, dressed as a woman, flashing his underpants and talking about how sweet his pussy is.
	Turn it up.
	You guys see the picture shift for me.
	Go back to the beginning.
	That's a good song.
	Getting tips as strippers do.
	Squatting.
	That dance is mimicking intercourse.
	Look at that poor kid.
	What am I doing here?
	There's one sane mother and I think they somebody in the comments are like a mother realizing with drag queen story hours and they zoom in on this poor woman's face.
	This woman next to the fat woman right here.
	The second from the left.
	Look at her face like as you slowly realize that she's made a mistake.
	I suck.
	When is that gonna end?
	I'm gross.
	Yeah, spite culture isn't really satisfying.
	Again, you're eating shit just to gross everyone out.
	I saw a good pedo thread, one three.
	This woman sees what's going on and she goes, I'm gonna fucking really get into this.
	So I see an advert for a drag queen story hour for kids at a pub in Eugene, Oregon.
	Named after Satan, okay.
	From one of the attendants of an 11-year-old dragon queen by the name of Vanellope.
	I think this is bad.
	Send to a friend, we both start digging because something seems very off.
	I guess we should blur the face, but I kind of want you to see how young this child is.
	So that is what?
	A six-year-old boy?
	Dressed up in makeup?
	Remember how we used to look at Rome horrified?
	Or even the Arabs in Afghanistan who would have the little, I forget what they're called, like buku boys?
	Where they'd bring, onto American bases, they'd bring these nine-year-old boys and fuck them.
	And then the Marines would get in fights and their spears would go, stop rocking the boat, dude.
	We're trying to win hearts and minds here.
	And these hearts and minds are pedophiles.
	So she's She starts looking at the comments on the pub page when the pub page she was talking about the bars page, right?
	Not an abbreviation for public Yeah, we can see the pub owners defending this event as being normal and gaslighting anyone who thinks it's appropriate It's very weird.
	How many of you are sexualizing a child in makeup?
	Go back to that original picture.
	So if you are offended by this you're a pervert and No, that's not how it goes.
	If I see a kid dressed up as a clown and I see it as sexual, then you have a point.
	This is how women dress to attract men.
	So she keeps digging.
	Keep going.
	Looking a bit closer at the pub, we see that there's a, it's a big, a big Antifa bar where they have kink night.
	So it's a sexual location, right?
	This is not a library.
	Not that it's better when it's at a library, but they call the owner Queen Antifa.
	They used to have Antifa symbols everywhere.
	Okay.
	So we know in Antifa tend to be mentally ill, depraved perverts, mess heads, especially up in the Pacific Northwest.
	Keep going.
	We look at one single person in the comments defending this and his Twitter is all porn and he has an OnlyFans.
	Also his comment is just gross and very revealing.
	And let's click on that first picture.
	We're really starting the show off with a fun start where they sexualize kids so much more.
	Beauty pageants, spelled wrong, sexualize kids so much more.
	There is some creepiness about beauty pageants but it's not quite the same as a man flashing his panties saying my pussy's good to little kids and then getting tips from them.
	And then the next pick so that person is also Is a fan or hasn't only fans where she likes sucking smaller cocks and it's a drag.
	Let's see the pick Ryan.
	Oh It's cropped, okay crop for her pleasure It gets worse guys keep going oh We then discover who the mother of this child is.
	This is where it gets bizarre.
	So that's the mom.
	No body shame there.
	She's just a disgusting fat pig who likes dressing up her daughter like a whore.
	Okay.
	And this is the part that freaked me out.
	Vanellope's mother had plans for her daughter from infancy.
	The caption of this photo was born to be a queen.
	Her as an infant being cradled by drag queens.
	And there she is born to be a drag queen at birth.
	And here she is like we're reaching satanic levels that make Alex Jones look like a pussy.
	It makes Alex Jones look like Chris Hayes.
	She even got her daughter her own Venmo account where she receives money from men after they have attended her drag shows.
	Oh my god, Summer Nights with Kenzie and Friends!
	Show.
	What the fuck does that mean?
	Show.
	Oh, they're saying what they donated for.
	I'm donating for that awesome show.
	Wow.
	Very disturbing.
	But I can't go to Penn State because I'm violent.
	It gets worse!
	She has a drag queen mother.
	So I guess not her real mother.
	A woman named Kelsey Bourne.
	We found photos of Kelsey with Vanellope on an Insta account of Kelsey's and a Facebook page.
	Kelsey Bourne was arrested in August of 2020 on child porn charges while she was working as a teacher's assistant.
	So her godmother basically is a pedophile.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Not good.
	Terrible.
	Terrible.
	Keep going.
	Ryan and I were talking earlier about when we're talking about the worst stories in the world, like a toddler being killed and put in a suitcase, we call it cringe.
	Yeah.
	Oh, this pedophile ring is so cringe.
	Kelsey Bourne is jailed and awaiting trial on child porn charges.
	She's pictured with phenelope.
	Look how satanic and evil that fucking person looks.
	Like we used to think the evangelicals were nuts for saying Satan has infiltrated Our schools and our churches and it's going to affect the children.
	We're like, okay, born again.
	Turns out they were right.
	Our first peacock was a success.
	Super crazy.
	Proud of our little Queen Vanellope.
	Says a person in jail for child porn.
	Child has been exploited by so many adults.
	She's only 11 years old.
	They want to put her on display this Sunday at a satanic, not exaggerating, bar in Eugene.
	Uh, how do we let this kind of exploitation continue?
	Like, all you have to do is go to this event with this evidence.
	You can be a flyer.
	You don't have to hurt anyone.
	Don't do anything illegal.
	Just say, like the Proud Boys.
	They went to that, that fucking place in, uh, where was that?
	Eugene?
	Was it Eugene?
	I think it was Washington.
	No, San Francisco.
	It was San Francisco.
	Oh yeah, the public library.
	Yeah, Bay Area.
	And they said, the person you're having, having here, Panda Dolce, this is a video she made where she talks about sucking children's dicks or children sucking his dick.
	That's all they did.
	They waited outside.
	That's all they did.
	That's all you have to do.
	Disgusting.
	We're not up against the fucking pagans here.
	We're not trying to take down bikers.
	Is that the end of that thread?
	Nope.
	The bar, her mother, her fans, what can you exploit it?
	This child, they are grooming this child.
	Just look at the people surrounding her and you can imagine her future.
	What a fucking bummer way to start the show.
	But I'm not going to not report pedophilia because it's a downer.
	Took me a while of digging.
	Vanellope is a biological girl.
	Oh, so that there's something even I don't know.
	Is that weirder than if it was if it was a boy drag thing?
	Splitting hairs here.
	But I mean, the problem is drag queens are sexual.
	That's really the crux of the entire controversy.
	Drag queens are sexual.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Last night the mother logged into Facebook and removed the name Craving from the daughter's name.
	Ew, Craving?
	What the fuck?
	Wait, I don't see Craving.
	Oh, I see.
	Vanellope Craving McPherson.
	The drag mom emperor that's currently awaiting trial for child porn goes by the Instagram handle Always Craving Kink.
	Okay, this is getting... I hadn't read that one.
	You got that?
	So the godmother, pornographer, fucking child porn addict, pedophile, has Craving in her name, and the actual mother put Craving in her daughter's name.
	Did you make a baby just to fuck?
	Or to hand out?
	Wow.
	So that is why we object.
	And the Proud Boys were facing hate crime charges for shutting down that particular one.
	And then the video of Panday Dulce came out and the charges disappeared.
	Which I'll likely repeat on Friday because I banked the show today.
	Uh-huh.
	Tight as a suit?
	By the way, so pull up a map of Chicago and we can show generally where the place is.
	It's an hour and 20 minutes northwest of Chicago.
	Very white, very safe.
	It's not the South Side.
	It's not a... What's it called?
	What's a scary place in Chicago?
	Iglinton or something?
	Anyway, the old spot was I think around here, Lombard.
	And the new place is just up from there, McHenry.
	So if you got a hotel in Lombard, I apologize.
	Cancel it.
	Go up here to McHenry.
	And it's about this far.
	You got it?
	Okay.
	But the show must go on.
	The show will go on.
	All right, let's read a couple of Snapchats.
	I mean, Snapchats.
	Superchats.
	That money's going to Max and John when they get out.
	I think Max and John are going to keep appealing their sentence even after they get out.
	And I think they should sue after that.
	They did everything the cops told them to and they got four years.
	John's three-year-old's never seen John?
	What's the matter?
	You can't get to the top?
	Question for the mostly, mostly the x-ray trooper, is it illegal to prank call Nigeria or Pakistan?
	They can scam, they scam call us.
	I wanted to do a reverse prank call show.
	They can't fly from Pakistan and arrest me, right?
	Why would a state trooper know that?
	His job is speeding.
	Question for the state trooper, if I'm in Pakistan and I speed, can I be fined by my original state, New York State, or?
	What do you think, dick man?
	Say it again.
	Can you prank call Pakistan and get charged for that?
	Yes.
	You can prank call anybody.
	Is it illegal?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, I don't know either.
	I don't think so.
	The Jerky Boys did it all the time.
	You met the Jerky Boys once, right?
	I did, yeah.
	What was that story again?
	I'll try not to bore you.
	It was New Year's Eve.
	I was working at midnight and a moving truck got stuck under a train trestle that was too low.
	And he, Johnny Brennan.
	I met Johnny Brennan too.
	Yeah, he lives up in Orange County there.
	Washingtonville-ish.
	He was at a party that was right outside where the truck got stuck under the train trestle.
	I didn't know it was him.
	I just hear this guy yelling.
	I'm aggravated.
	Highly aggravated at the driver of the truck.
	Because it's clearly marked that he wouldn't fit under the train.
	That's funny hearing you tell this story publicly.
	Because when you told me this story privately, you're like, I'm fucking losing it.
	I'm so pissed off at this guy.
	What the fuck are you thinking, you idiot?
	What, are you retarded?
	What the fuck's the matter with you?
	I'm slightly aggravated.
	I could use a chill pill at this moment.
	I made it clear to him that it was well posted and he should have been paying attention.
	So he's on, like, the porch of the house.
	The people from the party kind of spilled outside and were watching.
	We had a heavy-duty wrecker out there getting the truck out, and he's yelling things like, I'm sorry!
	I thought I could make it!
	Oh, he's doing the Jewish guy?
	Yeah, kind of.
	He was just yelling like he was the truck driver.
	And he's like, I, you know, I was laughing my ass off.
	Then he eventually came down.
	I remember he had a Planet Hollywood jacket on, and his voice was just so recognizable.
	So I asked one of the other guys, I'm like, who is that guy?
	He's like, it's Johnny Brennan.
	And he was the main guy, right?
	Yeah, he's the Frank Rizzo guy.
	How many Jerky Boys are there?
	Two.
	There's two?
	Yeah, I met him once.
	I used to live up there.
	Pete Davidson, ladies and gentlemen, if you're just listening to the audio, he's walked into the studio.
	The amount of stars that we have that just wander in and out of the studio is amazing.
	Amazing.
	That's my impression of that guy.
	I thought you lived in Staten Island, Pete.
	Oh, yeah, I know, but I used to live up there, too.
	Oh, I used to live all over the place.
	I don't know.
	Whatever.
	But, uh, yeah, I met him and he gave me a ride to the train station.
	Real nice guy.
	I love how you're just such a chill dude.
	Like you're just like water off a duck's back.
	I don't care.
	Yeah, that's awesome.
	Huh?
	You're such a good vibe.
	Okay.
	OK.
	Oh, we got more chats.
	You know what I want to do on this show, actually?
	We missed like a $500 chat.
	We might want to... Wait, it's not gone.
	No, I got to get it.
	We didn't miss it.
	Yeah, there's a couple hundred dollar ones, too.
	Yeah.
	I got a million final videos.
	I want to go through some of those because this show is too all over the place to really get deep on something.
	And we just bummed everyone out with we found a child sex ring.
	It's not exactly party time central.
	On social media.
	On social media.
	That's the other thing, too.
	My metaphor with the elephant and the mouse.
	That's all you have to do.
	Like, they are the mice.
	They leave all their shit out there.
	They leave all their droppings all over the basement.
	They're very easy to spot.
	You just put a bit of cheese on a mousetrap.
	Snap.
	They're gone.
	You want to get rid of mice?
	Get rid of the food supply.
	It's not rocket science here, folks.
	But we're just like, no, the mice, the mice have shut us down.
	Anthony canceled his fucking plane ticket to Chicago.
	And I was like, dude, can you rebuy it?
	Because I would do this show in a parking lot.
	It has to go.
	The show must go on.
	We can't let them win.
	And then we found a new venue in like a couple hours.
	Hey, boys, this is one of the guys from the Blades movie that you dudes advertised on the show.
	Thank you again for that.
	That ruled him in the army.
	So I have all my questions answered by my chain of command.
	I just want to know how to help the boys out.
	Oh, and Vincent.
	And is Vincent still in charge of Advertis?
	No, Vincent's gone forever.
	And I'm thrilled, by the way, that he's fired.
	I'm sad.
	I'll happily just sponsor the show myself and use my own money.
	What are you doing with this?
	We have a much better system.
	These are the ones that aren't.
	It only shows the last five.
	Boys, watch the trailer for Gamora.
	You will thank me.
	We'll be better investing than rewarding Sopranos again.
	I guess he means re-watching.
	Land back.
	Okay, we gotta watch Gamora.
	Alright, that was a 50.
	He has a 100.
	Gavin's a dick.
	That's for the boys.
	That was last week.
	That hurts.
	This is a big one.
	500 bucks.
	From now on, we're not reading any that insult me.
	Yes.
	Had a blast at the early Saturday show in Dallas.
	Fucking awesome.
	Got a lap dance from Gavin before his set.
	I don't remember that.
	Bald guy in the MAGA hat with the two big boys in the front row.
	Had the pleasure of meeting Ryan after the show, and yes, he is either that, that nice, or very retarded.
	Love you.
	Okay.
	What else do we got here?
	That's it for those.
	Here's the trailer for Gamora.
	Okay.
	There's a place.
	I started re-watching the Batmans with my boy.
	My wife was away for 10 days, so... You know, you play foosball, you take them to the driving range.
	You build the Gundam?
	I build the robot with him.
	I took him to the batting cage.
	Brought him to two games.
	Okay, this already looks cool.
	Has it got subtitles?
	There's always a catch.
	They look foreign.
	But it's in English American.
	Greed.
	You're not helping us have a problem with greed when you show piles of awesome uncut cocaine.
	This is the trouble with greed.
	Super awesome coke.
	Have like someone dying for greed.
	Oh, it's a new series.
	Is it a subtitle thing?
	I can't really get... It doesn't look like it.
	It didn't seem like it.
	I got some letter, actually.
	I might as well read it.
	Do you want to do the... Mailbag?
	Mailbag shit.
	Oh Good good TV discussion I prefer that to child rape.
	Better Call Saul.
	Unpopular opinion, he says.
	I disagree that Better Call Saul is in the same league as shows like The Sopranos or Breaking Bad.
	Ouch.
	I mean, obviously this is all subjective, but all I know is that I discovered Better Call Saul like two months ago, and I was so happy to go home and be like, ooh, I got another ep!
	Because I had like 50 eps.
	And I wouldn't overeat.
	I'd do one app and then say, that's enough, Gav.
	That's enough.
	But it was such a relentless joy.
	And I remember the same thing with Sopranos.
	Back, it was in the early aughts.
	We had a VCR and it had the time on it and I could see when this episode was going to end.
	I put a business card up against the time because I didn't want to know when it was going to end.
	Same kind of thing.
	Like it's a treat.
	So if a show is a treat and you're petrified of an ending, it's pretty fucking good.
	Cinematography was beautiful.
	The plots were amazing.
	One can watch a random episode of The Sopranos and write a thesis on its themes, the brilliant dialogue, and layered storyline.
	True.
	David Chase said that the episode where he takes Meadow to college and he sees that guy that he's got a whack, he said that could have been a short film in and of itself.
	That's true, but I feel that same way about Better Call Saul.
	Better Call Saul was mildly entertaining, silly lawyer hijinks mixed with the sort of interesting storyline of being a prequel to Breaking Bad.
	I only watched two or three episodes of Breaking Bad.
	I got too stressed out.
	I suppose Better Call Saul had some unique and complex characters, accredited to Vince Gilligan's writing, but as a whole paled in comparison to the superior drama of the aforementioned shows.
	Last point, Bryan Cranston and James Gandolfini brilliantly carried their roles being tremendous dramatic actors, agreed, while Bob Odenkirk was frankly an embarrassment, not agreed, when attempting to perform in a serious dramatic role.
	He's a silly boy who was meant to perform in a comedic context where he shines moist.
	Moist.
	Moist.
	He is a total noob and cringe at drama.
	Oh really?
	Was nobody cringe?
	So I disagree.
	Have you watched Better Call Saul, Matty?
	No, not yet.
	Dude, it's fucking gold.
	I don't know how you get the time to watch all these shows.
	My kids go to bed at 9, 10, 9.
	I'm not tired till midnight.
	I got three hours to kill there.
	Hmm.
	Yeah, that's our better call salsa.
	So how are we doing for Super Chats?
	I just got drunk, by the way.
	This show is going to nosedive soon.
	I used to think the worst part of the show was Gavin's shitty taste opinions on music.
	That hurts.
	However, lately Ryan's hair has really been bothering me and has surpassed Gavin's music taste as the worst element of the show.
	Dude, you're a father.
	Grow up and get a haircut.
	You look like a retarded teenager growing your hair out to be rebellious.
	Thank you.
	That's exactly what I'm screaming.
	Anyway, I still love the show.
	Keep up the good work.
	Let's check in on Ryan's hair and see if it's... Actually, we did look at his hair and see he's trying to grow it out, right?
	Wait, Tim, you're a Proud Boy?
	Yeah, I'm a Proud Western Chauvinist who refuses to apologize for creating the modern world.
	You don't have to say Proud Western Chauvinist.
	Chauvinism is to be extremely patriotic about something and extremely passionate about it.
	So Proud is covered in Chauvinism.
	Let's take a little look at this article from BuzzFeed real quick.
	Hold on one second.
	You said real quick.
	Well, we're going to look at it quickly, but it could take forever to bring it up.
	But that's the point of the news.
	Might be a civil war.
	Who knows?
	All right.
	I want to get back to the Max and John super chats just to get those out of the way so we can relax.
	It's sort of like.
	When you get to the airport, I just want to get to my gate, make sure it exists, and then we can fuck around and go buy a newspaper or go get a drink or something.
	Yeah, that's true.
	But you want to get to your, because sometimes your gate isn't at your gate.
	Sometimes you get there and it's a bus that goes down the fucking street.
	Like at JFK, there's this one gate, I forget what it's called.
	It's like 83.
	So you go 82, 84.
	What the fuck?
	Oh, there's a little door there.
	And it goes to a bus.
	I'll only go like a one minute walk away from my gate, no matter what.
	Yeah, I know I'm at that age now where I go like two hours early.
	I'm about an hour and a half kind of guy, but I'll probably get that old one day too.
	Are you going to Chicago with me at the same time?
	I don't believe so.
	Why are you still talking like Tim Pool?
	Half Tim Pool, half you.
	Well, I mean, look at me.
	Chicken City.
	Crazy.
	Seriously.
	Civil War.
	Must suck to be Tim Pool in July, huh?
	Tim Pool in July?
	That's a good band name.
	Tim Pool in July!
	Are you writing it down?
	Yeah.
	Might be the title of the show.
	I don't mind wearing a hat in February or on a ski hill.
	You're gonna see that any other any other moment year-round.
	Yeah, it starts getting itchy No, it does get very itchy but um, you know, I'm tough probably Well, I guess if you're bald too, it's just, it's probably as warm as hair.
	I'm not bald.
	Okay.
	I said, if.
	Okay.
	Well, I don't even like that.
	It's cringe.
	Okay.
	All right.
	What does your hair look like, Tim?
	Is it like long flowing red locks?
	What does it look like?
	I don't want to dox myself.
	I don't know if you saw that video, but the guy took my hat off and I said, dude, that's very dangerous because there are Antifa looking for me.
	And if they identify me, that's why I wear the hat.
	It's like a head mask.
	So when you're out in public, you're bald, Tim.
	Or whatever is under there.
	Not bald.
	Dreads, Tim.
	It could be whatever, you know?
	Use your imagination.
	But let's check out these super chats.
	Okay, changing the subject.
	If a man could suck his own dick, does that make him gay?
	Yes.
	Steve Brower, the owner of Brower House, is a pedo!
	What?!
	No way!
	This is the guy who canceled the show.
	I grew up in the area and I have heard of three separate incidents that occurred in his old bar in Hillside where he let 15 and 16 year old girls drink in his bar and then fucked them.
	He knew their ages.
	One of them is my friend to this day.
	I'm actually really happy that the venue has changed.
	Fuck that guy.
	What?
	Wow.
	Oh, so this is obviously allegedly unverifiable.
	Well, it is verifiable, I guess, but in this short amount of time, so we don't know if this is true or not.
	It's just an allegation.
	Please don't sue me.
	But if that was true, hypothetically, that would explain his hatred of attention, right?
	I don't want any heat.
	This is what, we'll talk about this later in the week, I've banked so many shows I can't remember what I said and haven't said, but one of the theories with Kanye is he's controlled opposition and the Jews have put him out there to make anti-Semites look nuts.
	And I was saying, if I was a pedophile, I'm going to repeat this in another show, I wouldn't send people out to look crazy and accuse me so they would stop people from accusing me.
	I'd just be like, let's not mention it at all.
	So I don't believe that theory.
	But yeah, I'm happy to hear that there's a potential that this guy's a shitbag because he fucking pussied out.
	We'll leave those.
	Is that it for the expensive ones?
	Go down a bit?
	That's it.
	Okay.
	Yep.
	Um, I think we're ready to start taking calls soon.
	We could do that.
	And then we can go behind the paywall.
	It's your hat, man.
	I mean, it's your shirt.
	Not shirt or hat.
	It's your show.
	I'm not sure what happened there.
	I broke.
	Yeah, I don't want to get into this other stuff.
	I just want to do funny videos.
	Let's do fun vids.
	We could do a thanks for calling.
	Oh wait, I want to show you something.
	Okay.
	Things that are bad in the world.
	White liberals worshiping black people like they're exotic animals.
	This is especially bad in Europe.
	Number two, black people overacting their faces off.
	I don't know why they do that.
	I guess they're trying to overact in TV so they can get a job in a movie or something.
	I never quite got the whole blacking thing.
	And then three, singing with such passion that you cry.
	How about a video that combines all three of the worst things Western society has to offer?
	In this video called 11A.
	And this... Number four!
	I hate this new trend where someone shows a viral video and then they show themselves going... You're not creating content!
	Or there's this new thing too black people do where it'll have like someone on a bike hitting a brick wall and then they'll have the black guy go like, And then they'll show someone fall down a chimney and break their legs and then he'll go.
	Yeah.
	What are you doing?
	Or women just mouthing a TikTok.
	That's even better.
	And that's pathetic, too.
	So this guy's helping by sitting there and just showing his stupid fucking face.
	And then this song is gayer than AIDS.
	I need you now.
	Let's stop.
	If I...
	This is literally the gayest thing in the world.
	It's a little dramatic.
	Is it cringe?
	Yeah, it's pretty cringe.
	It's way beyond cringe.
	I'm already creating a story for the guy to, like, make this okay.
	What's the story?
	He's just got his hearing aid put in and he's never heard sounds before?
	Does somebody pepper spray him or something?
	That's better, yes.
	No, he's a European photographer.
	I looked him up.
	Not the guy on the right.
	The guy singing.
	Somebody died close to him.
	Like, two minutes before they did this.
	Right now.
	Actually, they're dying in front of him.
	They have his dad, and they're slowly slitting his dad's throat.
	They said, you better sing a really beautiful song or your dad's dead.
	He's like, if I ever... They're like, nah, that sucks.
	He's like, wait, wait.
	If I ever needed you... Sorry.
	And his dad's like, you couldn't have sung...
	You could hear the squelch.
	His dad wanted him to do Louie Louie.
	Fine little girl, she waits for me.
	We catch a ship across the sea.
	No.
	If I ever need.
	I need you now.
	I like the descent, but no reason to cry.
	If I ever needed.
	The African.
	Look at him shaking his head.
	Gay people are watching this jealous that something could be gayer than them.
	There's two guys fucking each other up the ass going, whoa, you guys really tore us a new ass.
	What?
	Look at his nodding smile.
	Oh my God.
	I can't lie, that song is very insanely, that's very epic.
	Wait, you know the song?
	No, but it says the power of the Holy Spirit, so I feel like it's a religious tune.
	That's okay, but what is this John Leibovitz guy adding to this?
	Okay, so Ryan is so gay.
	I like this song.
	That he likes the black half of this video.
	Yeah, listen to this.
	There's nothing to like.
	There's nothing there.
	That's good.
	Oh, that's gonna be stuck in my head all day.
	That's powerful.
	What's the melody?
	What's the song?
	Oh, now she's crying.
	Yeah, I said they're taking turns crying.
	Your turn.
	She sings, he cries.
	He sings, she cries.
	When his dad is dead and decapitated, they bring in hers and she's like, oh, fuck.
	They killed him too.
	That white guy needs to die.
	No, he's terrible.
	And he doesn't even credit the song.
	So he's just... It's just about him.
	He's basically a slave owner.
	And why did he put that up?
	John Paul Heijmans?
	Heijmans.
	The Heijmans trophy for being a dick.
	What's the point of you putting up that song?
	Why are you including your face?
	Just put the song up and go, here's some black people crying about a song I thought was cool.
	I'd like to see you looking at it.
	Photographers really are some of the worst people in the world.
	Agreed.
	We should start designing high-end cameras that just have a sort of long pin that goes.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	So you go, if you really want to do a super zoom, then hit this red button.
	It would hurt.
	It would hurt them though.
	Kind of like no country for old men.
	Yeah.
	The cattle.
	Yeah.
	Okay, good.
	We're making progress here.
	Ooh.
	I don't know if you're gonna like this.
	Uh-oh.
	New Super Chat claims that Better Call Saul... Oh, the guy who thinks that Better Call Saul sucks smells like Obama's anal beads.
	That's a hot take.
	You know what?
	And a gross take.
	This might be because I'm so un-racist, but I think Obama's anal beads are probably pretty clean.
	I feel like he'd be the kind of guy who would wash his anal beads.
	Um, I've never not put my anal beads in the dishwasher.
	With the cups.
	On the plates.
	I bet he soaks them.
	On the spoons.
	He soaks them in a solution that is part baking soda.
	Vinegar.
	Vinegar.
	Yeah, it's all organic, no bleach.
	Vinegar, baking soda, and starch.
	It took us a long time to figure out what was causing Mike Michelle's yeast infections.
	Turns out it was the soap.
	Okay, so we're done with we're caught up with the super chats.
	That's so true.
	We've read a letter.
	We've got the calls initiated Let's take a call and then we'll go behind the paywall But the thing is you guys gotta you get your boys.
	Excuse me have to put on your mics.
	Oh And let's put up the number, and I will also say it for the people in the back who are just listening.
	Dickman's mic is on.
	718-400-6959.
	Again, that's 718-400-6959.
	So what do we got here?
	We've got 347.
	You're on the 11.
	Man, I haven't 69 in a long-ass time.
	Yeah, word.
	I remember 69-ing until I'd fall asleep.
	Yeah.
	Uh-huh.
	So what do we got here?
	We've got 347.
	You're on the 11th.
	Man, I haven't 69 in a long-ass time.
	Yeah, word.
	I remember 69ing until I'd fall asleep.
	Yeah.
	Remember those days?
	You just fall asleep with a beaver on your face.
	And she'd fall asleep like... Beaver on your face.
	Marathon sex.
	Big disgrace.
	60-yen dining all over the place.
	347, you're on the line.
	Go ahead, call her.
	We got you, caller.
	Believe in yourself.
	Don't be scared.
	Say something or you're G-A-Y.
	Say something or you're a black African gospel song crying while a European nods.
	That person got dropped.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Jungle Asian is on the line.
	Hello?
	You're familiar with Jungle Asian.
	Hey, this is Jungle Asian.
	Hi, Jungle Asian.
	Most active commenter.
	Hi, first of all, my husband said I should apologize to you about the whole you not owning life.
	Apology accepted.
	Next.
	Oh wait, you only get one thing.
	Okay, well thanks for calling.
	I appreciate your apology.
	I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
	Yeah, thanks for calling.
	We're giving you the fade, ma'am.
	Wait, you listened to the show for so long.
	You know the rules.
	And this guy's gonna do it too, by the way.
	615?
	What's up, 615?
	He has four things.
	That's my bet.
	Hello?
	Hey, what's going on?
	Oh, nothing much, man.
	I was going to talk to you about bar culture these days.
	Okay.
	I went to a bar the other day and just to pass the time and there was probably like six or seven people at the bar and they were all on their phones.
	Oh, man.
	You know, I mean, I was trying to go there to like, have a good conversation, have a beer, chill out.
	And everybody's glued to their phones.
	And even when you try to talk to somebody about something, they go, yeah, that's crazy.
	And then go back to their phone.
	You know, it's like, it's like a hookah bar.
	Like if you're at a hookah bar, which I would never go to, obviously people probably talk blah, blah, blah.
	And then there's a moment where you're just like, yeah.
	Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub Yeah.
	Where you would go in to the saloon and you would have to give the person your gun.
	I think it should be that way with phones.
	When you walk into the bar, you give everybody your phone and you have to sit there and you You can't do all this bullshit.
	You have to look up at the TV for a little bit.
	And even that is annoying.
	Like these fucking TVs.
	Five, six TVs in every bar.
	And you're talking to someone and they're designed to get your eye.
	So I'm talking to someone and then whenever there's a tiny break in the conversation, I'm looking at a State Farm commercial.
	I'm not watching the game.
	It's not like the Mets just scored a fucking Grand Slam and I should be looking up.
	I'm looking at State Farm, I'm looking at Liberty Life Insurance, I'm looking at... I'm looking at a fucking news show where they don't have closed captions.
	So I'm just looking at an anchor just going blah blah blah, but my eyes are drawn up there.
	Get rid of it all!
	Yeah, but... Well, but also that's kind of a talking point too.
	Like, you can be like, look at how gay this fucking commercial is.
	Why are all commercials gay now?
	Why are they retarded?
	Yeah, it's better than someone staying at the phone.
	What I've been doing to people on their phones is, like, they'll pull it out as I'm talking to them.
	And I'll just go, all right, I'm not talking to you until you put your phone away.
	All right, well, hey, thanks for calling, man.
	Thanks for calling.
	Hey, Ryan, do you have that website that has all my sketches?
	Was it Rumble?
	It's bookmarked on my other computer.
	We were looking for it the other day and you found it, I think.
	Rumble?
	Rumble?
	It's definitely rumble.
	It's not brumble.
	Um, but we'll, uh, look, you sent it to me.
	Look at things you have sent me.
	It's not that much.
	It's pretty much a one way street with you and I. Oh, uh, rumble like the app.
	No, the, the, the, well, yeah, the app, the, the YouTube replacement.
	Yeah.
	I found the drinking in bars thing there.
	I thought it was gone forever.
	Gone forever.
	I'll dig it up if you can.
	I got it.
	Okay.
	I got two links here.
	They both have different things to them, you see.
	One of them has all my, yeah, that one.
	Gavin McInnes archives on Rumble.
	Oh, maybe that's not it.
	So it's got How to Piss in Public, which we were looking for desperately at one point.
	Oh, good.
	How to Fly.
	Oh, is that high res?
	Let's see.
	It looks pretty res'd.
	Jump in the middle.
	480.
	No, 720!
	Pretty good.
	Pretty good.
	We should put that on our site.
	I think we could rip these.
	Yeah, that'd be a great idea.
	My dad taught me that one.
	We could use that because we're flying out.
	Million in the morning.
	But yeah, how to drink in bars.
	That's what I was looking for.
	Metropolitan Club, the less salacious one that didn't get anybody.
	I put that up on Getter.
	You know if you follow me on social media.
	I do, but I don't open those apps.
	Billionaires can't solve your problem.
	Open those apps?
	What does that mean?
	I don't social media really.
	I tweet.
	I don't social media really.
	I tweet.
	Go back to how to drink in bars.
	That's a good one.
	There it is.
	Ah, it's super low res.
	This one's only 480.
	And here's your water.
	Thank you.
	Oh, hell no!
	Hey!
	What were you having, a smoothie?
	Well, it was a blackberry margarita.
	What are you doing?
	You know how long those take to make, you asshole?
	How long do those take to make?
	Uh, I don't know, like five minutes?
	You know how much time you waste with that bullshit?
	This is bullshit!
	Those are all interns, by the way.
	Hey, tip one, know your drink, keep it simple.
	Tip two, don't order water.
	Drinks are water.
	That's why they're called drinks.
	Oh, no, no, no, no.
	Tip three.
	By the way, stop.
	You know what I got the Blackberry Margarita from?
	I told you the story, right?
	We're at JFK.
	We're trying to get shit-faced because we have coach seats and you can upgrade to first class if you get so wasted that coach feels like first class.
	So we're trying to throw makers in our body.
	And these two guys in front of us go, yeah, we get a large water, which I don't know what that is, and two Blackberry Margaritas frozen.
	So the guy's like making them like we just get a two double makers neat whatever just pour just go bloop bloop stop making the blackberry margarita and just go bloop bloop with us and he goes hang on sir hang on And they were, they poured, they got their blackberry margaritas and then I look over and there's a woman in a skirt drinking a fucking Stella out of a Stella cup.
	Like, you know, those fancy kind of cups?
	The goblet?
	Yeah, kind of a goblet.
	And I'm like, a woman is drinking a fucking beer and you faggots just ruined our flight, our six hour flight.
	Wow.
	With your blackberry margaritas.
	Now here's a fun tip.
	If you want to criticize people, be a foreigner.
	Like, I saw this guy, I used to do this to cab drivers, you know, in the city where they're always like, and I'd just be like, I'm sorry, are you gay?
	I wouldn't do a Paki accent to a Paki, but maybe like...
	I'm sorry, are you gay?
	And they go, no, I'm not gay.
	What do you talk?
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Uh, actually I don't, you don't need an accent.
	Uh, in, in my culture, the people who talk on the phone for like hours are gays and 13 year old girls.
	So I, I, I just thought you were one of those.
	I don't mean any offense by it.
	I'm talking to my friend about a business plan.
	We're starting a company.
	Oh, oh, oh, big misunderstanding.
	Okay, so you're starting.
	Wouldn't it make more sense if you're gonna start a company and have like a sit-down meeting with like a lawyer where you're gonna, you know, register it as an LLC or something and not just like gossip on the phone for three hours?
	Make them real mad.
	Or you go up to, I saw this kid at the driving range on the weekend and he was facetiming some chick going, hey, I got you something at Aeropostale today.
	There's this new accent that suburban white kids in New York have that's like, you know that guy who's like, if a girl did that, I would just basically die?
	It's like a surfer thing.
	I think my eldest boy is starting to say it.
	And so he's like, yeah, I got you something at Earl Postal.
	Dude, I would so take that over if your kid had a wigger voice.
	You're lucky, dude.
	They're both pretty rough.
	You know how many wiggers are out there?
	But I didn't do this because I couldn't be bothered and I chickened out, I guess.
	But I could have come over and been like, hello, excuse me.
	So young men here, when they golf, when they go to the driving range, they'll speak to a lady for like 20 minutes.
	Is that common here?
	And now you're not aggressive.
	You're just curious.
	So I had a tartan blazer on when these guys ordered the blackberry margaritas.
	And so I could go over to them and go, excuse me, I'm new here.
	I'm just curious.
	Is this normal in men ordering a blackberry margarita?
	And like, well, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have.
	They were not gay, by the way.
	I wish they were gay.
	I spend half my day walking around New York going, please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Because the alternative that they're just shitty heterosexuals is very hard to deal with.
	And I said, oh aye, okay.
	And they go, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have every time we come to JFK, we have blackberry margaritas.
	And now I'm mad that they're not embarrassed of themselves.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	I couldn't help but notice there's a woman right next to you, a fairly petite wee lassie, and she's having a beer.
	Stella.
	So women drink beer here and men have blackberry margaritas.
	Is that the deal?
	And I'm hoping that, I was hoping they'd be like, yeah, we are faggots.
	Wow.
	Um, no such luck.
	And no, they go, yeah, not normal.
	Now I'm mad that I'm not making them uncomfortable with my character.
	So then I lost it and I just go, do you got a fucking spree tag too?
	There's a word for that in the English language.
	Walked away.
	Beta!
	Beta!
	B-b-b-beta.
	So if you want to confront people and insult them, be a curious foreigner who's learning about this country.
	This sounds like a queer on television.
	I was just wondering if you were probably a queer.
	Probably a queer.
	Yeah, like you can go up...
	Excuse me, I'm new here.
	So in this country you have grown men who ride scooters.
	And do you push?
	No, it's battery-powered.
	We charge it overnight.
	Okay, so this is children's toy that you have automated and you ride children's toy.
	Are men riding tricycles also in this country?
	No, we don't ride trikes.
	Well, there are trikes.
	There's motorcycles that have three wheels.
	No, it's just a scooter.
	You get through traffic really fast.
	It's really handy.
	Oh, okay.
	So if it is handy for traffic, you will use children's toys to commute.
	And there is no shame in this.
	Interesting.
	In my country, we would stab you.
	You know, sort of like this.
	That's really committing to the bit.
	Definitely a country full of betas.
	Beta!
	Alright, let's look at some fun videos.
	Oh, sorry, let's go back to that.
	Okay, all you're doing is delaying the tips for this guy by about a week.
	And tip four, men don't order wine, alright?
	We're not at a fine Italian dinner.
	Okay, uh, can I see your beer list, please?
	He ended up doing that HBO show Raps.
	Do get a pumpkin nail or a chocolate stout it's rotten barley and oats, okay?
	We're here to drink rotten fruits and vegetables not some fancy fruity snack, okay?
	Order a normal beer like everybody else you fuckwad!
	He ended up doing that HBO show rap.
	Huh.
	That's crazy man.
	He did a great- Tim!
	Shit!
	You have a full head of hair.
	Proud boys for life.
	And see, it gets my eye twitchy when I don't wear the bean.
	Now this is this sucks.
	Shit.
	What's going on with the Matrix?
	I take my two fingers and I press it down going like really tiny like guys guys guys this does not work three people in a row does not work look you're going oh and then we went over there and it was super awesome and this poor bastard's craning his neck what what happened then you switch over to him you go oh I was talking about this awesome story now you're going what what happened what happened these are all you know what those are all interns that I would abuse on a daily basis so I feel totally comfortable strangling them trying
	yeah When there's three guys, two guys sit, one guy stands.
	Now we create a triangle here.
	This works for a conversation.
	And don't give me your eye-rolling shit, okay?
	You checked your email all day, you can stand for a second.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Hold on.
	You know why this works?
	This is all true.
	I'm not joking here.
	This is why Kirby Enthusiasm is a good show.
	He's not joking.
	These are all facts.
	It should come from the heart.
	Tip number seven, if the game isn't on, there's no TV.
	Whoa, what are you doing?
	Are you showing the bartender pictures of your kids?
	Jesus Christ, no one cares about your fucking kids, okay?
	Now, the kids thing is when you travel, and you're at like a hotel in Cleveland, and you go, I might as well go downstairs, I'm sick of watching movies.
	And then it's all other dads like you on business trips, and they're always showing, and they talk about what college their kid's going to.
	Like I give a flying fuck.
	If your kid's at Rikers, I might be kind of interested.
	Otherwise, your kid's going to Penn State and he's taking speech pathology?
	That's nice.
	In other words, speech pathology exists and there's a student at it.
	Okay, I figured as much.
	Thanks for the tip.
	Why the fuck do I give a fuck?
	And then the previous thing about the TV only being on with the game, I wish all those TVs at our local, Matty, We're not.
	Why are they on 24 hours a day?
	Sometimes with the Artie, he'll put on Arnie.
	Sorry.
	He'll put on a car show.
	Yeah.
	And that's nice.
	They're pretty cars to look at.
	And I like the way they roll them out.
	Yeah.
	The Barry Jackson and all that.
	Yeah.
	And they're all shiny and stuff and roadkill.
	Those are good shows and stuff.
	But it's so much of it is sports show talking heads with no subtitles.
	You're just watching.
	Or those even worse sports shows where they're sitting in their t-shirts and they're like this and they're not cutting to any video it's just guys talking like this and you're like why am I looking at someone with a microphone for a nose?
	Exactly.
	Like just turn it off!
	That's the outcome of 24 hours TV.
	And they're all talking like they're buddies, that you're not a buddy.
	They're like, I bet Jim would probably do that.
	You're like, what the fuck does that?
	Do you watch sports shows?
	I've seen them.
	Yeah, my buddy used to watch Skip Bayless and what the fuck's his name?
	The black guy.
	Fucking, he looks like a duck.
	You know, when you remember, it's Michael K. Michael K. Show.
	Yeah, the Michael K. Show.
	With their dumb backgrounds where there's like a picture of their wife or like Rage Against the Machine CD and then like a book and a fucking bobblehead.
	Hello?
	I was just seeing if you could charge my phone. - That's tip number nine. - Hello? - If you don't come to the bar with a charged phone, okay, then you don't get to use your phone.
	It's not a fucking internet cafe!
	Are we clear?
	Shut up!
	Tip number 10, No more women laughing!
	My God!
	You sound like fucking hyenas!
	No one's saying women shouldn't be allowed in bars, but for fuck's sakes, we're here to relax!
	Did that feel good?
	Yeah.
	That seems like it feels really good.
	Dude, that is a 0% joke.
	I know.
	Just bottled up hatred and animosity.
	Yeah.
	Especially, New York's bad.
	If you want to hear a woman, Rip your ears a new ass.
	Go to fucking Glasgow, Scotland.
	Oh my God.
	The banshees, the screaming fucking banshees.
	It like you, you pray to God to be, to be deaf.
	I would love to just be the Glasgow bar.
	Like, no, they don't even understand what we're talking about.
	That's a problem with most of these chicks.
	that it's so loud that I prayed to God to become deaf and it worked.
	There.
	Now that's a bar.
	- Okay.
	- Okay.
	- Okay. - Okay.
	Who are the chicks?
	They weren't interns.
	We had to pay them.
	Most of these extras will do for a hundred bucks a day.
	Hey, what did you make these for?
	Vans.
	Oh.
	The budget for them was usually about $20,000 to $30,000, and we didn't have much left over.
	Maybe $5,000 or $6,000.
	Maybe $8,000 on a good day.
	They take about three days, two days.
	That took a day.
	They were ads?
	They were commercials, yeah.
	We put them on our site and on YouTube and stuff, and they'd go viral.
	But people would say, you should do more sketches.
	I'm like, I'm not spending 25 grand and getting all those extras and renting a venue and spending, you know, two days for a four minute bit.
	Four minute bit.
	Four minute bit.
	Speaking of four minute bit, what we don't have is a four minute bit from 720, who's on the low.
	What's going on, Caller?
	Hi, 720.
	How's it going, boys?
	What's happening?
	How's it going?
	Hey, Rob.
	So I have a pretty good cop story for you guys.
	My dad's a cop.
	And recently he had a guy who got fired.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Sorry to interrupt you.
	Please don't tell us your dad is one of these female cops because they fucking suck at police work.
	Yeah.
	Oh no.
	No.
	Thank goodness.
	Thank goodness he's not.
	He's one of the old school cops who, you know, they grew up and, you know, if guys got out of line, they would... Wait a minute, didn't all cops grow up?
	Oh, no, no, no, but they would tune them up.
	That's how he... Oh, tune them up.
	I thought you said grow up.
	What city are we talking here?
	We're in Denver.
	Denver.
	I just read a book about a Denver cop.
	The Green Chameleon or something.
	The Blue Chameleon?
	The Blue Chameleon, yeah.
	That was Denver.
	That was the guy, did you know about this dude in Denver who caught someone who shot him in 1970?
	He just caught him 50 years later.
	This story's two years old.
	Okay, so Denver, what years?
	So he worked in Denver, I think he started in Four.
	But he works in a smaller municipality now.
	The City of Angels.
	That's not Denver.
	What's that?
	Denver's known as the City of Eggs.
	Omelets, egg sandwiches.
	Anyway, sorry, didn't drop to you.
	That's kind of the bit, but let's drop that bit.
	Go ahead, caller.
	So his buddy, he's an older guy, you know, they grew up taking care of business, you know, they weren't afraid to get physical with With people who are mouthing off to him.
	Somehow, he got in an argument with a black lady.
	She, at one point, you know, they're going back and forth at each other.
	She turns around and spits on him, and it gets in his mouth.
	He loses it a little bit.
	He grabs her by the back of the head, shoves her head into the wall, and starts getting real physical with her.
	I love these censored versions of these cop stories.
	He isn't thrilled about having spit in his mouth, so he gets a little physical with her.
	He's very grumpy at the time.
	So his hand is on her hair, he accidentally tears off her weave, and then he's so mad right now that he proceeds to flip her off and then stomps on her weave in front of her.
	Uh, they asked him to resign after this, but, uh, it's just an insane, I don't know.
	I was like, how far can, can you push someone, uh, before, you know, they react to you.
	I'm just amazed at it.
	Dude, that, the deliverance, the delivery of that story was absolutely terrible.
	It was damn terrible.
	You should be ashamed of yourself.
	Here's how you should do it.
	First of all, don't start saying I have a great cop story.
	We hang out with cops.
	Our cop stories are like, I was picking up pieces of bodies and a guy jumped in front of the train and then my partner picked up the head and they go, it really is about as heavy as a bowling ball.
	And then he threw it at me.
	That's like a good cop story.
	This is not what you should have said.
	You should have said, Hey man, you know, you guys talk about cops a lot.
	My, my dad was a cop and you know, it was PC even back then in the nineties, like some crazy black woman was screaming at him.
	She spat in his mouth.
	He lost it.
	Okay.
	He slammed her head against the wall and then he kept going.
	He ripped her weave out.
	He stomped on it, gave her the finger.
	They wanted him to resign.
	Not so much for the violence, but for the stamping on the weave and the finger.
	Can you believe that shit?
	Yeah.
	Gotcha.
	No, no, it makes sense.
	That's how you tell that story.
	So in the future, uh, tell that story much brief, much more briefly, and also never start a story with, I have a really great story.
	Now we're thinking of like Star Wars.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	I have a great story about a watch.
	Okay.
	I'd be damned.
	Let the gooks take this man's family heirloom.
	What?
	Pulp Fiction, dude.
	Come on.
	You kept the watch up his ass.
	I just watched that the other day.
	No fucking way.
	For the first time?
	For four years.
	No, I was trying to... Again, the wife was away, so you get tired by the end of the day and you start like, hey, you want to watch a movie, boys?
	Does it hold up for you?
	No, it sucks shit.
	I knew you would be a hater.
	It's written by a fucking nerd.
	Hater!
	So much of Quentin Tarantino's stuff is just nerd fantasies.
	Even that stupid Nazi movie where the Nazis are getting their dicks cut off and shoved up their ass.
	Inglourious Bastards with an E?
	Inglourious Bastards.
	It's all nerd revenge fantasies.
	Do you like that I use an E in Bastards?
	Or does that annoy you?
	That annoys me.
	I knew it.
	Kind of annoys me, to be honest.
	I know he's everyone in the world.
	You're not Nostradamus.
	Ryan, you still got the call open.
	Yeah, I know.
	This is a new guy.
	Jake from State Farm.
	Yo.
	Yo.
	Yo, what's up, guys?
	What's going on, Jake?
	What's up, Doc?
	Nothing much, man.
	Living life down here.
	I got... Man, I'm flushing talking to y'all.
	Okay, here.
	This is the thing.
	I have like 70 things.
	That's not gonna work.
	You only get one.
	You get one thing.
	Be very careful, sir.
	Take your best thing.
	What?
	Your best thing, please.
	Yes.
	Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Top of the thing is this.
	I got big decisions coming up, right?
	And I just need a little bit of like oomph.
	I know you always talk about like, you know, just live life, jump in, get it.
	Get drunk.
	Get drunk and then make the decision.
	Seriously though.
	Cause it takes the fear out of it and you see what you really want.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I know.
	I just said, if you think too much, you know, that's it.
	All right.
	So what's the decision?
	Uh, just moving, moving states.
	Well, you're moving too.
	Why are you moving and what's the question here?
	God, this started out so fun.
	It's not really a question.
	I'm just, I'm just, I'm just talking to talk.
	What state are you in and why are you leaving?
	Yeah, we're going to salvage this, sir.
	This is like that, one of those car shows where they're in a junkyard and they have to make this second car work.
	Give me two cc's of instant cream.
	Okay, we need a transmission, an engine, four wheels and a roof.
	Hit them with the shot pads.
	There we go.
	That'll get it done.
	I'm not losing you.
	So what's the predicament here?
	You're on borrowed time, my friend.
	What's the in?
	Where you going?
	Yeah, where you going?
	No, I'm just, um, I'm just, I got a stale job, you know, family problems, all that kind of thing.
	And I'm, I'm thinking about, you know, moving up somewhere.
	Wait, what if family problems?
	Are you married with kids or just your mommy and daddy are mean?
	No, no, no.
	I'm young.
	I'm young.
	How old are you?
	Uh, 23.
	Okay, so you're still at home at 23.
	Yes, exactly.
	And I'm just thinking like, you know, I need to get out.
	Where is he?
	Where are you exactly?
	I'm in Florida.
	You want to move out of Florida?
	Yeah, well, that's another thing too, man.
	I moved down here and I never really liked it and I think I've just been living, you know, just living a parent's life.
	Yeah, we're bored of this call.
	Goodbye.
	Thank you for calling.
	You know, I'm going to do a big thing.
	Just go for it, dude.
	Yeah, go for it.
	I was going to say stay in Florida.
	Yeah.
	Life decisions.
	Definitely stay in Florida.
	Everybody's moving to Florida.
	It's too hot.
	It's too hot.
	That was terrible.
	I'm sorry.
	We got Dan on the line.
	Wait, wait, hold on a sec.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Decisions.
	I'm going to do a whole green screen on this.
	One thing I've learned is and men are great at this and women are terrible at this.
	You work with what you have.
	It's like the serenity prayer, you know?
	How does that go again?
	Lord give me the strength to change what I can change and then the strength to know the difference.
	It was written by an American guy, I think in the 1800s.
	You pulling it up?
	Yeah, you gotta click on it.
	There's a couple versions.
	And you gotta donate to their woke charity.
	God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
	Yeah, thanks for showing us that.
	We saw the word change.
	That's good.
	But, like, say you're packing to go somewhere, right?
	Don't start with your bag.
	I call this la livre rouge.
	In French, when they say the red book, they don't say the red book, they say the book red.
	I'm giving this away now, but anyway.
	So the problem with the red book is, you go the, then you go red.
	Now there's a big pile of red.
	And then you go book, and you gotta cram all that red into a book.
	That's a lot of work, and it's extraneous.
	You should have just started with the book, And then poured in just the red you need.
	And I remember Derek Beckles used to be my best pal, a Negro from Canada and very funny dude.
	And I would say to him, Derek, writing is just talking, but you write it down.
	So if you want to write a good article, just write a letter to your brother.
	I know you have a brother and you get along with him and then just take out the inside jokes.
	Boom.
	You have a great article.
	That's how you write.
	You should do interviews for us.
	They're so easy.
	You just talk to the dude and then you write it down and you're just done.
	It's a transcription of a conversation.
	So we interviewed some guy for like an hour.
	He transcribes it.
	It's like 20,000 words.
	I go, bro, we need 600.
	So then he spends the entire week calling 20,000 words down to 600.
	He was going the red book.
	You gotta start with what you have.
	Okay, what do I got here?
	I got a beer, a pen, and some paper, and I need to make a boat.
	This boat's gonna suck.
	Let's start with that.
	It's gonna be a paper boat, and this is gonna be useless.
	Don't get your hopes up with the boat.
	That's how you solve a problem.
	And when you're packing for something, you go, all right, four days, four pairs of underwear, four pairs of socks, maybe a shirt or two, maybe a pair of pants, it's gonna be hot, blah, blah, blah.
	Then you make that a pile on the bed.
	Now you go get your bag.
	And you, maybe it's a backpack.
	Maybe it's a big bag.
	You don't start with the bag.
	You don't start with the book and fill in the red.
	So when you have a problem like, where am I going to?
	And you live in Florida.
	You're like, okay, what do I want?
	What's my job gonna be?
	What are my parameters?
	What am I looking for?
	Do I want excitement?
	Do I want nature?
	If I want nature, I go to Montana.
	If I want excitement, maybe New Orleans.
	And then you slowly work backwards from there.
	Every time I talk to people on the phone about a problem, I always go, let's start at the end.
	And the end is like, and this happens with proud boys a lot.
	Look, the end is it doesn't matter if he's right and you're wrong.
	The real thing is he wants to kill you.
	So you can either fight him or get out of town.
	It doesn't matter who's justified, who's not justified.
	The point is that he's, he doesn't want to negotiate and he fucking hates your guts.
	You know, you start with the basic tools of the problem and don't worry about the other shit.
	People are always like, yeah, well, the whole reason we got into this thing in the first place is because he thinks, no, no, no, that doesn't matter anymore.
	That ship has sailed.
	That's not a tool.
	There's three tools here.
	These pages, this pen, this beer.
	We can talk about why they got here till the cows come home.
	That's irrelevant.
	What are the tools?
	And I've noticed this with women.
	Last year, we went to some baseball tournament and I banked a bunch of shows.
	So I had a whole week off.
	All the other dads had to go back to their jobs, but I had taken a week off.
	So I was with chicks for three days at this big house we rented for the baseball tournament.
	And they would talk about problems and I would get involved.
	I told you this before.
	I'd get involved and I'd be like, okay, look, it's very, it's very basic here.
	He's not paying child support.
	How much money does he have?
	How much money can you expect?
	Okay, well, you can either criminally charge him for not doing child support, but can you get blood from a stone?
	And I would tell them the basics of the problem.
	I'd solve their problems.
	And they, I realized they don't want that.
	No.
	They want to kvetch.
	They want drama.
	They want the drama.
	They want to complain.
	They want the smoke.
	They're not looking for solutions.
	But men are like, like say you have stage 4 cancer.
	That's the same as all this.
	Okay.
	There's chemo.
	What are my options with chemo?
	What are the odds I'm going to beat it?
	The odds are 3 out of 4.
	Probably should get chemo.
	The odds are 99%.
	You're not going to beat it.
	Don't get the chemo.
	Die gracefully.
	That's it.
	You can Cry about it?
	That you got stage four cancer?
	Okay.
	Cry like a bitch.
	You still have stage four cancer?
	Are you farther ahead?
	I had fart cancer and I get rid of it every day.
	That's terminal.
	You had fart cancer?
	I had it about two minutes ago and then I let one rip.
	I think you're confusing fart cancer with just farts.
	No, there's cancer in them farts, boy.
	That's maybe the title of the show, too.
	Maybe Cobalt.
	There's cancer in them farts.
	You sound like the gold hunters.
	They're cancer hunters.
	They go through farts.
	These hillbillies with turned up cowboy hats.
	So we haven't said goodbye to the freebie boys.
	We have.
	I mean, I feel like with no sponsors, it's the Wild Wild West is Eric Adams.
	Oh, shit.
	Eric Adams.
	Oh, fuck.
	Project Veritas just dropped a bomb tonight, two hours ago.
	One of his assistants was talking to a member of Project Veritas and the assistant noticed, this is an Eric Adams assistant, that Eric has no idea what the fuck he's doing.
	Surprise, surprise.
	And New York City is broke and The whole sending illegals thing here, according to the secret behind the scenes administration, was an absolute smashing success.
	New York does not have the resources to handle these immigrants.
	They were totally humiliated by the experiment and Governor Abbott, is it, who sent them up here, was totally correct to do that because he showed what he has to go through with these people and how no one else could handle what he has to deal with.
	Close that lower third on the video.
	I have to play it?
	I think what Abbott was doing has proven effective.
	It's flooded our system.
	I think the objects of this are bad for Biden and they're bad for the mayor.
	And I don't know that Eric Adams is capable enough to navigate it.
	As nearly 20,000 migrants have been bused to the Big Apple on orders of Texas Governor Greg Abbott, our undercover journalist at Project Veritas sought to find out what really is going on inside the New York City mayoral office of Eric Adams.
	Isn't it a coincidence that Veritas has been slaying like never before and they've totally gained mainstream acceptance.
	I would say within the past six months you hear people cite Veritas like AP or even better not even cite them.
	So they'll say Eric Adams A deems Eric Adams incompetent, and you'll click on the link and you'll see it's Veritas, but it's just news now.
	That's huge.
	It used to be this radical right-wing group says this happened, but they edit videos, blah, blah, blah.
	Now it's just this happened.
	And if you want to check our source, well, it's Veritas.
	So they've become AP.
	And right when that happened, they go to court and a judge says you're not allowed to misrepresent yourself during an investigation.
	Yeah, it's crazy.
	What a quinky dink!
	Right when they become legitimate, the authorities and law enforcement, or sorry, the justice system, seeks to delegitimize them.
	What a quinky dink.
	Steve Bannon, when he gets at his most effective, is now in court.
	Roger Stone, most effective, now in court.
	Proud Boys, most effective, going to jail.
	You know when you're being persecuted that you're over the target.
	Oh, there's more to come.
	I was with them earlier.
	Yeah, that's the great thing about Veritas too.
	It's always a nothing burger at the beginning.
	Yeah.
	Oh, Eric Adams is incompetent?
	Yeah, we know.
	Yeah, I was with Bowling Balls and our buddy.
	Yeah.
	I want, um... The only thing that could really fry Eric Adams... I think what should fry Eric Adams is corruption and incompetence.
	Unfortunately, that's not salacious enough for modern society.
	He needs to be fucking someone underage.
	Even if he's... I think he's gay, by the way.
	I think he fucks dudes.
	But that's not juicy enough.
	It has to be underage dudes.
	Or they have to have been raped, I'm afraid.
	Up yours, woke moralists.
	We'll see who cancels who.
	There you go.
	Oof.
	That's a low-T thread if I've ever seen one.
	Meet Chris Boff, one of Adam's advanced team staffers.
	Watch him say what he really thinks about his boss, the mayor of New York City, and how he is handling, or mishandling, the chaos of the migrant crisis.
	He was de Blasio's assistant, too.
	Which makes me very nervous as someone who is paid by the city.
	Uh, we're anticipating like a $10 billion budget deficit by 2026 right now.
	There was free money from the government for the last two years because of COVID.
	All of that's gone.
	And then our revenues just aren't in a place to support a $110 billion budget.
	I thought Eric's budget was a hun- oh yeah, $110 billion.
	$110 billion, yeah.
	Dude, can we just stop and look at that?
	$110 billion.
	On a planet with 7 billion people on it.
	That is everyone in the entire world giving Eric Adams 14 bucks.
	Well, didn't de Blasio give his wife like 800 million?
	Yeah.
	For some like project that never went anywhere?
	No, no dude.
	I think that was, wasn't that 80 million?
	How much was Thrive?
	I think it was like 800 million or something.
	Strive or something like that?
	Thrive.
	Oh, Thrive.
	Yeah, that's what it was.
	What was the budget for... Oh, now I'm turning my phone off.
	I'm such a boomer.
	What was the budget for New York City's Thrive?
	Annual of $225 million.
	Yeah, okay.
	So it's annual $225, but it approached a billion.
	No, I said it cost a billion.
	Yeah, that's nothing.
	I did $850 million.
	That's nothing.
	Eric Adams wants $100 billion.
	Yeah.
	He wants 100 Thrives.
	Yeah, that's scary.
	So there's a baby in East Timor right now.
	With little beads on its head and a little blanket that's dyed different colors.
	And there's a monk holding it.
	And Eric Adams is there going, yo, uh, this ain't the Wild Wild West.
	I'm going to need $14.92 from you and you and you.
	And they're like, what?
	No, I hate New York City.
	And I barely even know where it is.
	Look, sir, I don't make the rules.
	Yeah.
	That's a hundred billion.
	110 billion.
	What?
	Like 14 bucks is a lot of money to everyone in the world.
	You go to a fucking, a random Russian homeless person.
	Yeah.
	That's you too.
	14 bucks.
	That's crazy.
	For New York City.
	I mean, what's justification?
	It's just insane.
	What is a hundred billion divided by 7 million?
	7 billion.
	What?
	Oh, New York City.
	Yeah.
	So every New Yorker gets $14,000.
	So every New Yorker gets $14,000.
	So every New Yorker gets $1,000 a month just free.
	It's turning out to be like the wild, wild west.
	But I'll tell you what, you guys are going to be dreaming of Genie to turn what could have been the Jetsons into the Flintstones.
	Does Andy Dufresne get $14,000?
	Well, I'd like to say that... Nicole Dufresne?
	Andy Dufresne.
	I'd like to say that Andy got $14 million.
	Wait, who's Andy Dufresne?
	Are you kidding me, boy?
	It's the guy who broke out of prison.
	You better lean on me.
	Oh, the Shawshank Redemption.
	Shawshank Redemption.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Cookie crisps.
	Cookie crisps.
	Let's get back to the very test thing.
	I think that's the annual city budget right now.
	Can't you just raise the taxes?
	The mayor doesn't want to.
	Is he just eating plain noodles?
	That's the big scoop right there for me.
	When you go to a restaurant, order something you can't make at home.
	That's why I always get mussels.
	Because I can't really make mussels.
	A good cheeseburger is hard to make at home, too.
	You gotta get the bread, all that shit.
	It's a pain in the ass.
	But if there's one thing you can make at home, it's just noodles with what?
	Butter?
	And what's the coaster on top of the thing mean?
	What does that mean?
	Where you put the coaster on top of your wine glass?
	Oh, that's when you go away.
	When you go pee.
	He's not peeing.
	Yeah, maybe she forgot to take it off.
	I mean, that is an option.
	Or maybe that's another level of undercover.
	I'm not here right now.
	I'm away from the table.
	Like, reduce services.
	What do you mean?
	Like, just not give people enough stuff.
	Like what?
	Uh, I don't know.
	Pick something.
	Department for the Aging.
	Immigrants.
	Like, we're housing immigrants right now from Texas.
	It would be very easy to be like, nope, not anymore.
	How much money are we spending on that?
	juicy juicy enough for my taste but this is phase one in it all right I guess we're going behind the paywall now it it seems weird because the previous notion was sponsors paid for the free part and then we go behind and we were we hang out with our bros I mean like Nita fashions oh yeah Nita fashions is paying for this segment here.
	Nita Fashions at what's the URL?
	NitaFashions.com?
	NitaFashions.com.
	N-I-T-A-Fashions.com.
	I was introduced to Nita Fashions when I worked at Fox News.
	And a guy was going there to meet the tailors at the hotel.
	And I go, I don't understand.
	You meet a tailor at a hotel.
	Why don't you just go to the tailor?
	Oh, the tailor's in Hong Kong.
	Oh, so you give money to China?
	Well, not really.
	And if you want custom shirts and suits here in America, they're like seven grand for a suit.
	Oh, that's not, I'm not buying a car to put on my body.
	And he goes, Hong Kong, the price are reasonable.
	You get a shirt for 50 bucks to, I don't know, 200 bucks.
	You get a suit from 700 bucks to like 3000 bucks.
	It's up to you how much money you spend.
	And you go there, they build, like Prince had a bust.
	And he had people designing him clothes every day and they'd fit it on the bus and he'd just come home and there'd be like a new outfit.
	That's like Need of Fashions.
	They measure your neck, your inseam, your waist, your back, everything.
	And then they have a template of you and then when you choose these fabrics and shit, they make them and the next thing you know you're wearing pajamas, but it's a three-piece suit.
	That's where I met them.
	That's the New York Hotel.
	And I go, this sounds amazing.
	He goes, yeah, dude, it's for cheap rich guys.
	This is how rich people stay rich.
	They save money.
	So you go there and they measure you up or you can do it on a Zoom.
	Contact them on Instagram and do it through Zoom.
	And then they get your template.
	And by the way, if there's anything wrong with your suit or your shirt or anything you buy, you FedEx it to them and then they fix it and send it back.
	They understand.
	That being on the other end of the world is a little bit inconvenient.
	So they'll fix anything that goes wrong.
	And I have, every time you see me wear a suit on the show, I should say 99% of the time, it's Anita fashion suit.
	You choose the lining, you choose the shape of the pockets, you choose the buttons.
	It's the male equivalent to a spa and you are pampered as such.
	Men don't want spas.
	I don't want to sit in a mud bath.
	I don't want to be in a hot sauna.
	I don't want a fucking massage.
	I don't want some stranger touching my toes.
	But I do want to sit there and discuss fabrics that would be comfortable for me.
	Alright, thank you Anita Fashions for sponsoring the show.
	Our only sponsor left!
	Since we fired our ad guy.
	I'm going to go pee now and we'll be right back.
	Although if you're not a subscriber, you will not be seeing us come back.
	And again, folks, relentless entertainment here.
	$10 a month, a hundred bucks a year.
	You get two months free if you go for the whole year and it's, there's never a dull moment.
	You never know what's going to happen.
	I could get arrested.
	We could have a 10-day marathon.
	You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
	It's exciting news in a comical way, and it's a lot of fun.
	So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	musique
	musique Hold on, I'm coming.
	In the beanie in the beanie Somehow reconcile me with stupidity
	Okay, kill him!
	Everybody knows you never go full retard.
	Shot fire, suspects down.
	What are your thoughts on the bird, which is the bald eagle?
	I think it's really great.
	Come on, man.
	I don't tear up for sad things.

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