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Oct. 11, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:11:56
S04E175 - ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?
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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Wait to the clinic, I forgot the plan B. Let's go, bitch, I got murder on my mind.
I forgot the plan B, ain't no nigga cuffing me.
You can't put me on this show, bitch, I'm outside with the king.
All these bitches having babies, but that ain't finna be me.
That he wanna settle down, niggas selling naughty dreams.
He got one kid, two kids, three kids, four.
Bitch, he cheaper about a dozen if it's at that mini more.
And I'm only twenty dark with a couple years to go.
I don't need a babysitter, cause this baby gotta go.
It's a shortage on the lip.
That's a dope jam about killing babies.
I need my notes.
She's uh, no baby daddies for her.
Baby daddy free, BDF.
She was DTF, now she's BTF.
B DF DTF.
Down to fuck, baby daddy free.
And isn't it funny that Margaret Sanger invented abortion and promoted it, Planned Parenthood's her baby.
And what was her goal there?
To minimize the black population?
Abortion is anti-black, as Kanye West recently pointed out.
And here you have blacks going, yeah, I don't need that shit.
Kill black babies, she's yelling.
I mean, if we were the racists they say we are, we'd be pretty happy with the state of affairs.
We'd be pretty happy with the left.
That's why we've got to make that liberal racist website.
Get some hacker that can never trace it to us.
And he just talks about, you know, the Nazis in Ukraine, how awesome they are, and how abortion is cool because it's making the black population less.
And welfare is great because it's shattering the black family.
All these DNC policies and how fantastic they are and their roots in the KKK.
I'm the only guy who's ever thought of that.
Anyway, we're back.
Thanks for joining us.
We've got a jam-packed show again today.
A lot of content, right?
Of course.
We're putting out a lot of content.
We also did a video with Ryan that we're working on now about fall and winter looks with my new blue-collar chic look, which I'm combining with my fall look outside of suits.
And that look is called Grumpy Casual.
Then we'll do a whole suit video.
Gay fashion stuff.
Sat down with Elijah Schaefer.
That's going to come out soon.
He had a very, very religious upbringing, I didn't realize.
Yeah, me neither.
Had dinner with him last night and my son.
My wife was out of town.
Dog Walker comes by.
She's like, I can't find your dog.
I go, what?
He's there.
He's never run away ever.
He's too lazy.
Well, I can't find him.
I left.
Okay.
What the fuck?
Bye.
Oh, my God.
I go, like, you have the keys to my house.
You know the alarm code.
You can look under some beds.
I don't care.
What are you?
Just look in the main area and then leave?
You should hire me to be your dog walker.
Okay.
What are you afraid I'll eat your dog or something?
Racist.
Well, I saw you in this commercial, 1-2, and I thought, why do I not...
Why am I not wary of this guy?
Well, that's pants video you did?
I don't remember doing a pants commercial.
This does not look familiar.
It should be breathable and you can't whip out those heat and moisture as fast as possible.
It is also super stretchy.
I mean, it is called ultra-stretch, which will give you motion and mobility when you work.
You used to wear those watches.
That's not me.
Another 10 out of 10.
See how his hair is different?
That guy gets 10.
That's a 10 out of 10.
This is 10.
Super comfortability.
We talk about black dude.
This Asian dude is 10 out of 10.
I don't know.
It seems pretty durable.
I mean, it is synthetic material polyester, so it's supposed to be very durable.
I have not wear this for a long time.
I mean, I just got it, but in terms of how it feels on hand and the material for durability, I'm going to give it an 8 out of 10.
In terms of the, of course, nothing formal, but you can definitely freeze up here to 50.
Yeah, so that's what we made.
We made one of those, but I'm going to, I want to, it's going to take a sec because I want to put all the prices and web links of every single ensemble.
Prices.
You know, since we did that vid, I think the framing's a little different.
Should we fix that live?
Because here's the overlay.
Yeah, see how it's...
So what do you want to do?
This is like Bob Olinkirk when he's his retarded self in that Bob Lamont story.
It looks pretty darn close, dude.
See, I don't understand the issue.
Is there the full line up there?
Nope.
You moved it over.
It was more lined up before.
Uh, I guess.
I think you're making a problem where there was no problem.
What's in that bag?
You have a small sandwich bag of vitamins.
Yes.
Not that I trust you for anything besides eating dogs.
What do you take?
Fish oil, zinc, magnesium, a multivitamin, KM66.
And that's, I think that's it.
What is KM66?
What is KM66?
Ashwagandha.
It's like an herbal supplement that just helps with regulation of your hormonal profile and other such things.
Your hormonal profile and other such things.
Is anyone following this?
I knew you were going to say that.
Were you going to?
No.
Okay.
The dude from...
The dude from Cobra Kai has some cap-in-the-gap advice sent via cameo.
No way.
I don't think I'm that advanced.
How are you doing?
Billy Zapke here with a tutorial once again on how to do the proper Johnny Lawrence bottle cap flip.
So this is not a beer cap.
This is just a regular old cap.
You can do with any kind of cap.
It doesn't matter what it is.
When you get your thumb in the bottom part, when you get your middle finger touching this frame in the top part, you're just going to spin it.
Let me see if I can hit the camera.
All right.
Boom.
That was it.
All right.
That's it.
Tutorial done.
All the best.
Take care of yourself.
I'll see you out there.
And then now that the Mets season is over, Polar Bear is mocking me for my $800 win.
Hey, how's it going?
I'm Pete Alonzo with the New York Mets.
And if you're watching this, you just lost to the San Diego Padres.
I don't like that he's smiling.
What the fuck?
That's not the way things go.
In Britain, with soccer, everyone would be dead right now.
And then here's Family Guy mocking me before we start.
Halloween's a bigger letdown than being a Mets fan.
Opening day, and here's the first pitch, and the season's over.
That wasn't this season.
We did really well.
Yeah.
Up until the last couple weeks.
We need an update.
But yeah, the season's over.
Ouch.
Pretty sad.
No more Mets bet.
And here's another just random thing I want to take a glance at.
So these working class people are finally standing up to these hippies.
But I'm just watching this, and in my head, I can't stop hearing the phrase, just kick him in the head.
Just kick him in the head.
I mean, you don't want to kick an old person in the head, and then they die?
But a young person can take a good kick in the head.
It's not even your car, it's a zip car.
And look, just schlumps back.
Schlumps down.
I thought an IROC Z was a zip car.
Stop!
Has it got sound?
Has it sound?
He hasn't got time?
Like, this seems too gentle for me.
Like, we need some punches, no?
Am I the only one?
Like, do you feel like that?
I feel the urge, but I don't think I would go through with it because, you know, you have to keep your cool.
Because then otherwise, now you're now, because of that loser, now you're entangled in lawsuits and shit.
Good.
You've got a pretty good case.
You're trying to get to work.
Look, there he is coming back again.
Ew, the way they're like sliding on their booties.
Yeah.
Sliding on their damn boots.
They just need a pounding.
Wow.
So many people just need a pounding.
Wait, is this a third guy now?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe it's being in New York.
If that was East New York and you got in the way of some hood rat, as we'll discover in our racism segment tonight, there are fights for a lot less.
This has sort of been covered to death, but we forgot to mention it yesterday.
You heard about PayPal taking away $2,500, right?
Yeah, I've deleted my PayPal, yeah.
If you give out misinformation?
I mean, I'm not going to cover that.
They backpedaled, though.
They said that it was an error.
An error.
Yeah, an error.
I'm jealous of artists.
First play this Jimi Hendrix dude, 2-4.
He plays Saturday Night Fever the way Jimi Hendrix would.
And I assume you could do this no problem, right?
Because you're better than Jimi Hendrix.
Let me see.
Because this guy is not Jimi Hendrix, so he might be bringing extra points of skill to it.
Okay.
So far, yes.
guitar solo
Yeah.
You could play that.
That's me fucking 10 years ago could play that.
You give me a strat, though, because that tone, you need a strat.
That's the thing about Jimi Hendrix's sound.
You could buy it.
Why can I see you furiously adjusting your hair?
Well, today it's a little...
It feels like...
Let's see.
This might be the closest I am to getting a haircut.
Next level.
Next level annoying.
I don't understand.
Worse than a top bun.
What are you talking about?
That's good.
Here's another emotion that I have that I don't know if other people have.
Jealousy, when I see...
I'm not sure how to do it.
Whenever I see like an artist in a museum or an art gallery, I'm not impressed.
I'm just like, fuck, that's a fun life.
You just come up with a concept and then a bunch of hard-working blue-collar engineers and construction workers have to go make it now?
That's like being king.
That's like being a king in ancient times.
Go to 2-3.
So I want like a big carpet thing.
It's like super big.
And then I want it hanging at an angle and then people can come under.
I want like a giant long, I don't know, like a plastic thing, rubber, little tube.
And then you just chop it with a bunch of wood.
Where do you want us to do that?
In a giant room.
In Batman's Cave.
And have everything balance out, make it perfectly safe.
And the physics, of course, have to be perfect.
So I guess you'll need some sort of like I-beam at the base of it to solidify everything.
And, you know, we could all get sued if it falls on anyone's head.
So spend a good, like, two months just with engineering.
But that's not really my deal.
So there needs to be steel reinforcement underneath that.
But yeah, I like the idea of a thing squinching a thing.
You know, just coinch.
Little, you didn't mean to squeeze, but I squoze.
That's the name of that piece.
Then I want like a bunch of chairs.
Remember the carpet thing?
Make that like a big table.
But it's not real.
It's suspended by wires.
And there's no post to the table.
And then maybe, I don't know, 100 chairs.
What else?
Hey, take a house, like a little cabin in maybe Stockholm.
And then add a big pile of giant fucking rubber balloons, perfectly round.
Some of them are balloons.
Some of them go into the house and cut into it a little bit.
Okay?
I want that.
So when you look at it from like two miles away, you go, what the fuck?
What are the balloons?
And then that's, it's me, it's a house.
Remember the carpet I made?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Stack eight high.
Maybe you have a pole in the middle.
I don't really give a shit how you do it.
Have the engineers and the architects spend like a hundred thousand dollars of thinking time making my dream happen.
But then do that in, I don't know, like Reykjavik, somewhere near the volcanoes.
Not the warehouse that we already have.
No, no, no, no, no.
The warehouse was beginning stuff.
Now I want to go around.
I want to travel a bit.
So I want to be in Switzerland for the previous cabin.
And then I want to be over here in Iceland for this.
You want it to look like Death Stranding behind these.
Yeah.
Maybe I charge 5 million for this too.
Hey, you know like drops?
They're kind of cool.
What about like three drops and then maybe like balloon drops?
Yeah, la.
Make balloons into drops.
Make like 50 of them.
You can go back to the warehouse for that.
Anyway, I did.
Actually, don't do a bunch of rows of it, diagonal.
I made a sketch.
Here you go.
So give that to the architects and the engineers and the blue-collar guys who are sweating buckets, making sure everything is exactly level.
And of course, if one balloon is like a quarter inch too close to the other one, I'm going to scream and freak out and you get fired.
Because I'm the king of Iraq.
Do you want these all right side up or upside down?
Yeah, both.
I don't know.
Okay.
Actually, I do a shitty sketch, right?
And then you have to come and you have to do like a super detailed sketch with all kinds of schematics.
I just sort of doodle on a balloon.
And then you have to get all the guys to do the physics.
Like, who are you, dude?
I was thinking about guys that design buildings, they're not building shit, are they?
They're just designing.
They have to know the physics and stuff.
It's not easy being an architect.
That's why George Costanza lied about it.
You think being an architect is the same as being an artist?
No, they have all those schemes.
And they went to school where they could just draw it with their hand or use the computer program.
Artists, I want a wall with like 60 taps that are just oozing tar.
Like a matrix grid, 15 by 15, just oozing tar, and it's spilling all over the floor really slowly.
Damn.
Now everyone else has to figure that out.
Not him.
Architects, you know, I've had architects.
I had an architect design.
I designed a house upstate, not knowing how to design a house.
So I was like drawing, kind of like what I'm talking about right now, I guess.
And then I went on all these architect books that had plans, and I was like, this living room plus this kitchen and this thing.
And then I gave it to an architect, and for seven grand, he took my convoluted plans and made it into a real thing.
Wow.
But that cost me seven grand.
I didn't make five million dollars for that.
I take that back.
That is very impressive.
Speaking of, well, let's do some me-news.
Speaking of jealousy, apparently the guy from Oath Keepers is jealous of me.
I sent you that as a separate email.
I sent you that as a separate email.
What song is that?
I think it's Japanese Breakfast Be Sweet to Me.
Jam.
Yeah.
I'm trying to stay abreast of this whole trial.
Old Keeper Stuart Rhodes was terribly jealous of the Proud Boys.
Wow.
Dude, I'm jealous of you.
You have a real eye patch.
Yeah.
Looks like he was jealous of Big Boss.
Isn't that 50% too much if you have an eye patch and you wear glasses?
Yeah.
50% of your glasses don't work.
You need a monocle or a contact lens.
Yeah, I think you should get a contact lens, Stuart Rhodes.
What a mixed signal if you had a monocle and an eye patch.
There's too much going on there.
It's like Calvin Klein says, before you go out, you take off one thing.
Even the facial hair is a lot.
I think you should get rid of the glass.
If you're jealous of me, then you must be listening to advice.
Get rid of the beard.
It looks like you have a chin enough to rock a mustache.
And then a contact lens.
And we're good to go.
I even think you could be more bald.
You know how bald guys shave their head?
This is kind of bothering me these days.
Not him.
But I was walking behind a guy at Grand Central, and he had shaved his head like with a razor.
As Billy Conley would say, that's the new combover.
Like, I can see all your stubble here, and I can see your bald everything here.
So who are you fooling?
How is that different from the Gavin McLeod or the Larry David where we can see it grow out?
It's not like you trick me and I have no idea if you're bald or not.
I can see the stubble.
I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
Do you get me?
Like, it's like having a toupee that says on it, this is a toupee.
It's exactly the same as that.
I guess it does kind of scream, I lost.
Grow it out.
Anyway, go to the exact Gavin McInnes quote of that shit.
He wanted the attention, Adam said.
He was terribly jealous of Gavin McInnes.
He wanted to be wherever the Proud Boys were.
Whoa.
Hmm.
Well, I went nowhere but to the parties, so maybe you wouldn't be going to jail if you had been more jealous.
No one never trusts an ex-wife, by the way.
This is all likely horseshit.
But I was going to say, I know Proud Boys are innocent with January 6th, and I'm confident that in a fair trial, they will be freed.
I don't know about Oath Keepers, dude.
I've never met one.
I don't know those guys.
And from what I hear, it's quite possible that they had a plan to delay the inauguration of the president.
Which, by the way, should not be 22 to life.
That is interfering with the electoral process, which, by the way, as we learned from 2000 Mules, everyone was doing.
So, I don't know, 100 hours of community service.
Like, what does it do?
They delay the ceremony by a couple hours.
So does a traffic jam.
So does having explosive diarrhea, running up and just shitting on someone who's got a pen.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
There's a million things you could do to delay it.
So is streaking.
If you streak across a baseball field, you've delayed a major game at the World Series.
No, but this is much more important.
It's our president.
Okay, look.
He's going to be here for four years minimum, probably eight.
I'm not saying Biden will be eight.
Biden will be four.
But most presidents are eight.
So the guy's going to be there for eight.
You delayed it a couple hours?
Or you can do this.
I'm not sure it deserves this much attention.
This beautiful, beautiful gal.
Remember this?
This pissed me off, too.
It's like, that's a fun, like, Lalapalooza.
That's a cool-ass fucking concert.
Yeah.
And then she wants to, she takes down the whole thing.
Would I be racist to assume her ethnicity?
No.
Oops.
You'd be correct.
She ruined Lollapalooza.
Like, there's people that got ready for it, bought tickets.
Well, J.D. Vance was just debating a guy.
It might be in my notes somewhere.
Maybe I forgot.
You could dig it up.
And he said, it's gone viral, total slam dunk.
But J.D. Vance just goes, can we stop with the Jan 6, please?
No one cares.
We care about jobs.
We care about gas prices.
You people in your Jan 6 shit is just embarrassing.
Yeah, that's not.
Well, that's Tulsi Gabbard.
I actually want to talk about that too.
But the Tulsi Gabbard thing is very exciting because, as well as J.D. Vance slaughtering that dude last night and winning Ohio, ostensibly, we got Tulsi Gabbard.
I predicted this.
I knew she was going to be vice president.
It's going to be DeSantis and Tulsi Gabbard.
Trump's going to start.
He's going to realize that he has some enemies.
Actually, it could be Trump and her, too.
Dude, that'd be pretty wild.
My only problem with Trump is I'm worried about his age.
He's fucking going.
But I, okay, so let's take it easy with the predictions for a second here.
This definitely looks like Tulsi is going to run for VP.
We know it has to be a woman.
We know it has to be some sort of stupid minority because all these gay rules.
We don't agree with any of that.
But that's the field we're playing in.
You can't have two white males run for office anymore.
God forbid.
They just suck at it.
Remember Washington and Jefferson and Reagan and how bad they all are?
Anyway, but she had a pretty good little speech about how she said this shit's just too woke.
So we're sort of drifting from me news, but you want to show her speech?
It was pretty groundbreaking.
Longer remain in today's Democratic Party that's under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers who are driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue and stoking anti-white racism.
Isn't it funny how the reason that she's running and has a chance is because of anti-white racism and wokeness?
Like the Republicans do it just as much as they do, as the left does.
We work to undermine our God-given freedoms that are enshrined in our Constitution, who are hostile to people of faith and spirituality, who demonize the police but protect criminals at the expense of law-abiding Americans, who believe in open borders, who weaponize the national security state to go after their political opponents, and above all, who are dragging us ever closer to nuclear war.
Now, I believe in a government that's of the people, by the people, and for the people.
Unfortunately, today's Democratic Party does not.
Instead, it stands for a government that is of, by, and for the powerful elite.
Now, I'm calling on my fellow common sense, independent-minded Democrats to join me in leaving the Democratic Party.
If you can no longer stomach the direction that the so-called woke Democratic Party ideologues are taking our country, then I invite you to join me.
Nye invite you.
We've decided to.
Nigh.
The time is nigh.
Join me.
All right, let's finish up me news here.
It's my favorite subject, but we're all over the map here.
So Jon Stewart's new thing is trans rights.
He tried diversity, and we made fun of him for his dumb.
Is that show still on?
I don't even know.
Where he has all these black and Hispanic and gay and Jewish people all in a newsroom, and they talk about the news and how the news has died.
He's got so many irons in the fire.
He's the blue-collar guy in the t-shirt who's saving the working man and is worried about asbestos in the ceiling.
And he's giving out awards to Ukrainian soldiers who he doesn't realize have swastika tattoos.
So that's one Jon Stewart.
Then there's this sort of news guy where he's hanging out with people and doing like these behind-the-scenes things where they discuss the state of the media.
And then third, he has this reboot of the daily show where he dresses casual and tries to jump on whatever the newest thing is.
And the newest thing is trans.
You got to be gay.
So he's defending that.
That's his new crusade.
And it just looks so out of character and insincere.
It's like me if I was totally pushing skateboarding and how important it is to do an ollie kick flip correctly.
Now, here's his argument because we're sort of jumping in the middle of it.
You might want to go back, actually.
So his argument is we say there's only two genders, right?
Male and female.
And that's it.
He goes, oh yeah, you guys also say there's beta males, alpha males, tomboys, and girly girls.
Yes?
Well, you're admitting that there's some gray there.
There's a spectrum.
No, your spectrum goes right off the spectrum.
Like, that's like saying there's people who are nice, good humans, and then there's other people who are running through the streets acting like animals.
So you're admitting that a person could be a wolf or identify as a dog because you just said they're like animals.
So here's the problem with your logic, lefties.
We say this is a man, right?
Here's a really effeminate gay man, and here's Chuck, what's his name?
Vito.
Is that his name?
Chuck Zito?
Zito, Chuck Zito.
This is our range here.
Then there's women here, right?
Separate.
And there's tomboy, tough guys, and girls.
You are saying that this spectrum just goes and includes all types, and there's no in-between.
If you'll notice with ours, it's the types of men, major gap, the types of women.
You're bridging that gap and just making it all the same.
And here's the other problem.
You're plucking ones from here and putting them over there.
We didn't say you could do that either.
So we're not contradicting ourselves.
You're using your usual shit logic to show our hypocrisy.
Shouldn't they have like a philosopher or some logician, somebody who took logic in college, to sit with them and come up with these gotcha moments?
Because they're so bad.
Human race is defined by a simple binary, a black and white understanding.
There are men and there are women, and never the twain shall meet.
Trump is an alpha male.
Well, okay, yes.
There are obviously men who are more man than other men, but that's an aberration.
Beta, gamma.
Okay.
There's an entire Greek alphabet, a continuum of masculinity.
But that doesn't mean cuck.
Pajama boy of soy boy.
Girly man.
Did you see that?
I was cuck.
Mean cuck.
Pajama.
I'm a boy of soy boy.
Is Tucker Carlson a cuck?
Because his name sounds like that?
Continuum of masculinity.
But that doesn't mean pajama boy of soy boy.
We're only men.
I hope the children are out of the room.
This smug appears to be on a dimmer, not an on-off switch, but ladies are different.
I was a big tomboy.
These purple-haired, angry freaks.
Wait a minute.
So because Laura Ingram was a tomboy, women can be men now because they have a spectrum.
Cat lady.
Hi, Roland Bimbos.
Pretty girly girl.
Wait a minute.
You'll notice, too, with the first thing, there was a gradation from alpha male to beta male to cuck to pajama boy to girly men, right?
But then with the girl one, they're so half-assed with this.
You can tell they got C's in school.
Laura Ingram's a tomboy, but the rest, these are all just insults.
Right.
There's no, and then girly girls.
You have tomboy here, girly girl here.
These are not gradations of femininity.
They're just insults at random bitches, purple-haired freaks, cat ladies, cunts.
And look at the face, too.
Like, nailed it.
His graphics team sucks.
My 14 writers and I nailed it.
You know, we saw his diverse team.
Remember that?
When they're all sitting down?
Yeah, yeah.
Look at the pathetic work that they do.
I mean, like, they're all like...
Your logic, of course, denies this gap.
But I need a gradation of females here to make this point.
I do masculine, and then they need to get more feminine.
Anyway.
But look at the quality of it.
But Tucker's washed out.
This guy's full contrast.
There's things you could do to unify these.
You know what I mean?
I don't think their team's very good at what they're doing.
Diversity hires.
Bad work.
But all this homosexuality is wanting me to jump on to the WarrenKids slash LGBT.
Ah.
Do we do the mashup thing again?
You can do either Warren Kids or LGBT.
It's the same.
Let's do LGBTQ.
Okay.
Hello, Fire.
I had a sex change.
Oops.
Too late.
No, that's fine.
We're in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage, right?
Regulations to endophiles with poisonous and divisive left-wing children.
I don't know.
That's a little convoluted to have two intros playing at the same time.
If you thought Jon Stewart isn't funny, at least he's a white male, you may want to check in on lesbians.
Here are.
Here is.
Here are some of the worst comedians in the world.
No, lesbians are some of the worst comedians in the world.
Here is a perfect example of that.
She's got to be Canadian, too, no offense.
my own people.
What's wrong with kids?
They're always saying stuff nobody else would say.
They'll run right up and go, are you a boy or a girl?
What?
I'm going to stay a hundred money for Miss Kristen.
I know, are you allergic to nuts?
Let's go find out.
So here's a song about killing kids.
Oh, they're loud, too.
You've been in a hotel pool recently?
You're like, two minutes of Marco Polo.
My tubes start tying themselves.
No one's fucking you.
You're a lesbian.
You have to tie your tubes.
There's no dicks going inside of you.
Is she a fucking Jewish catskill comedian from the 50s?
What?
Could you believe this?
You see the pools?
Look at the mouth thing she does.
She sucks.
Am I mad?
Like, I don't understand.
If you dress in an androgynous way, you're surprised that kids ask you questions like that?
And now she wants to poison the child.
Here's another one of her.
When I saw this, I was alone and I was just on my phone going, wow.
I have more feelings than my wife.
I have like, like, if feelings were crayons, I have the 64-pack with a little sharpener on the side.
yeah my wife has that restaurant three pack So you hate kids, but your entire act is aimed towards children.
The laughing is amazing.
Where do they find these people?
Okay, yeah.
I think we have a 64-pack right there.
Seriously, that's all my wife needs.
Just the three.
Just happy, sad, and that broken one, you know?
We have different kinds of feelings.
Like, I am bored.
Wow.
Please take my wife.
I sent you a separate email about Clown World Drag Queens in church.
This progressive priest is just eviscerating Christianity in front of kids at a church with a big pink fucking robe on.
Do either of you have any questions for Miss Pentecost?
I like her.
Miss Pentecost.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
You like her eyeshadow?
That's great.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe she'll let you borrow it.
When you're older, when you're allowed to wear makeup.
Look at the kids masked for the disease that doesn't affect children.
And then the tranny and the fucking selling out Christianity guy, no mask.
Of course.
Yeah.
Well, one of the things I think is great about Miss Pentecost is she reminds us that we follow a God who calls us to not conform to things of this world.
That we're supposed to be transformed by the renewal of our minds.
And that means that what I think today may have to change tomorrow if I continue to renew my mind.
And it's so cool that we serve a God that calls us to continue to grow and continue to change into something new and to not be bound by the way.
If you look at sex with children, historically it's been frowned upon.
Maybe we should renew our vows with sexuality and not conform to the ideas of, you know, little kids not being around drag queen stripper whores.
It confines us sometimes that we're supposed to live differently.
Do either of you have anything to do with that?
That sounds like groom talk, doesn't it?
Yes, that's very different.
That's in a Christian church.
Go to 3-3.
Tartary Tree.
Mom dresses up like them.
Oh, yeah, this is actually pretty smart.
So Ankley Hawks brought in drag queens to perform for students during school.
The drag queens also spoke to students about gender identity and expression.
So when the mom went to protest this, she did something that I really appreciate and I think was smart.
She dressed up like these sluts.
And now you see a woman, and I'm sure when you saw her, you zoom in on the second picture.
I'm sure when you saw her at a town meeting, you're like, that's kind of inappropriate here.
What are you doing?
You look like a whore.
Activist Kimberly Reichs unveils an outfit resembling one by a drag performer at a May after school event, telling the Ankne school board on Monday it was inappropriate and should not have been permitted.
Yes.
If you look at, I sent you an email, or there's an email in there.
Proud Boys just went to a drag queen story hour.
It's called PB's Protest Drag Queen Story Hour.
And again, I'll say it a million times.
You don't have to hurt anyone.
You don't need bomb threats.
You don't need to break windows.
You don't need to threaten anyone.
All you need to do is go there and go, this is not on.
And they shut down.
Like Matt Walsh just exposed those hospitals that do, what's it called?
Trans performative surgery or whatever.
Gender-affirming surgery.
Surgery, TIT removal, hormone blockers.
All he did was expose the hospitals doing it.
Local politicians found out, shut it down.
Do not scream faggot.
If you yell faggot, you are playing into their hands.
That's exactly what they want you to do.
It's not about gay.
It's about sex and kids.
You're bringing sexualization to kids.
Science is real, boy and girl.
No groomers.
You are not born in the wrong body.
And what's this here?
Hi, so I'm speaking to Amanda.
He says unfortunately she hasn't...
I'm kidding.
Wonder Man?
Do you have anything to say, Wonder Man?
Wonder Man.
The media would like to interview you, man.
Any comment?
Hello, hello, hello.
Hey, why are you doing this to the kids?
Why are you doing that?
Can I stay very good?
The black woman's the only one with the balls to do anything about this.
Which is great.
I love black women doing this because he's having his civil rights moment as he goes to his car.
And he wants to talk about, like, I was sort of, I went through what Martin Luther King went through, but when there's a black woman going, what are you doing?
It ruins the whole story.
It ruins the whole story.
What's going on?
Some sort of a robot guy.
And he's speaking in sort of these strange cyber sounds I can't decipher.
Okay, well, thank you for your input.
Not sure you're helping.
How about this?
And we think we have it bad here, but this woman, Caroline Farrell, I asked you to try to get a hold of her, robot man.
3-4, I bet you didn't do anything about it and totally forgot it.
That's possible.
It's the norm.
I'm just trying to stay on brand.
No, I'm just kidding.
I will reach out.
So you didn't do anything about that?
Nay.
And why not?
I think it was on a Sunday, and then I just had forgot about it.
So anything I sent you in a Sunday is garbage.
No, but we were probably...
October 5th.
So this woman objects to Drag Queen Story Hour stuff.
She says there's only two gender.
The police come to her door.
We've got to get her on the show, man.
I need to talk to her.
She's a broadcaster who received some media attention in 2018 for stating the suddenly taboo fact that people cannot change sex.
Unfortunately for her, this brought her to the attention of Dr. Adrian Harup, who's this psychotic, gay.
He has an actual doctor, stalker, who torments anyone who says anything remotely trans.
He'd already demonstrated his contempt and hostility towards any women who dared speak that view aloud.
Go to her thread on 3.5.
I'm getting paranoid.
This is from 2018 and I'm an idiot.
No, this is 2022.
So here she is, right?
This is four years after her first sin.
Tea time doing a roast chicken.
Two coppers come in.
Next, they demand that she open the door.
What are you doing, Ryan?
So she goes, do you have a warrant?
They go, we don't need one, and force their way in.
They take all her devices, the homework iPad.
Her kids can't do homework anymore.
Then she gets frisked, shoved in a cop car, and taken down to the police station where all of her jewelry was taken off.
In case she uses it as a weapon, I guess.
Next.
Custody Serge was a bit embarrassed.
He told me that emailing people malicious messages was a crime.
I hadn't emailed anyone, but I allegedly wrote some insulting messages on the internet.
I got shown a lot of posts from Kiwi Farms, Real Mother Foria, and Kit Kat.
I was asked to explain a cartoon that Kit Kat has posted.
She said that wasn't me.
Husband was furious, videoed the whole encounter, blah, blah, blah.
Police wanted to go to the parish office and seize my devices.
Husband said no.
Or her husband's a priest, by the way.
They needed a warrant.
Police asked why they shouldn't just go in there.
And the husband said, because we don't trust the police.
Like the cop's angle is, look, if you're innocent, why would you care?
As I was driving off, I asked husband to tell work that my machine had been stolen.
Six foot three copper said, seized, actually, not stolen.
This is where we're headed, folks.
They're going to make it illegal to criticize this whole process.
And again, no one gives a shit about drag queens.
We didn't care until you went Near the kids.
Look at the history of drag queens.
You've been in every movie.
You're the background behind me right now.
Go full screen on me, Ryan.
Like, you're mainstream.
That's John Laguzziamo.
That's what, Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes?
Like, it's, we never had a problem.
Just stay away from the kids.
And I like that now gays are on board, too, going, what, this is fucked up.
Or furries even.
Furries are transphobic.
Did you know that?
Go to 3-0.
Bag it!
And you know what?
I suck dick for cock!
Alright?
I suck dick for cock?
Dick for cock!
Suck dick for cock.
Hey!
Press the charges!
Press the charges!
Pressing charges!
Press the charges!
Look, his legs work.
Look, you can't...
You can't do that if you're paralyzed.
You can only drag your legs behind you.
And you know what?
I sucked dick for cock.
All right?
I sucked dick for cock.
Suck dick for cock!
No, you're right.
It's suck dick for cock.
Pressing charges.
Hey, grab the rubber.
You attacked and disabled trans people.
Here's some gay and trans people fighting.
It's always fun.
This is my favorite thing.
The cannibalization of the left.
Wait, no, no.
I said 3-6.
3-6.
Far-left pro-trans protesters confronted gay, lesbian, and deep-transition people of color who were protesting the American Academy of Pediatrics Convention.
So they're saying, the normal gays are saying, leave kids alone, and then the fake gays who call themselves trans are attacking the gays.
These are your allies, by the way, gays.
These are the people that joined your thing, even though they're not gay.
Save the tomboys.
love that shirt.
Protect trans youth!
Protect trans It's got a good vibe to it.
And then let's just jump to 3-7 and see what happens when you bombard a pretty young girl with hormone blockers and testosterone.
What does she become?
Does she look like a normal dude?
Or does she look like a sad, weird, androgynous, androgynous, weak, balding man?
This is 3-7.
So I got out of my haircut.
That's your ex-girlfriend.
That's the girl you went to prom with.
Because I'm tired of watching my hair thin out, and it's less distressing if I shave it.
So when I talk about being too far gone, I don't really know what else to call it.
This is what I mean.
This is how deep my voice is.
It's gotten deeper over time, and it's settled.
This is what I mean by hair loss.
And it just keeps getting worse.
It keeps thinning.
It keeps receding backwards.
You know, and I'm not exactly sure that's coming back.
Those are the main things when I talk about being androgenized to a point of no return.
I really don't see those being fixable.
So that's what I talk about, honey.
You know, just kind of staying how I am, regardless of how I feel.
That's why, just because I don't really see me personally being able to come back from what's happened, from what's happened so far.
So I hope that's not a problem.
So that's someone who's unhappy with their decision.
And let's look at someone 3-8 who's still dealing with their decision.
How are they doing?
Many AFAB non-binary folks or trans men or trans mask folks, I do not feel trans or non-binary enough.
It's a very difficult thing to feel.
And I think it's one of the big factors that made me not come out and be open about being non-binary for so long.
And I think it's something that does hold me a lot of others from coming out as non-binary or trans and things like that because we simply don't feel enough.
It's painfully easy to compare ourselves to the people who talk about being tomboys their whole childhood and knowing the whole time that they were trans or they were non-binary and to the people who end up achieving this like perfect androgyny and no, no one who's non-binary owes you androgyny, but as someone who is non-binary, there's so much internalized transphobia and it's just so hard for me to extend that kindness to myself.
And all of these things make me feel like I'm not enough.
But a very big step for me in transitioning was actually getting plastic surgery and gender-affirming plastic surgery at that.
And I didn't go for top or bottom surgery.
I actually went for some pretty subtle surgeries.
I went for some masculinizing work on my torso and along my face.
But I also, as many of you know, I am non-binary.
And like many a Were you able to comb through that bramble?
No.
I got cuts all over my legs from thorns.
I think she's saying she's jealous that other trans people seem to become trans so easily.
And she's still struggling.
She still feels like a chick.
She's just a tomboy.
And she wants to be more trans.
Everybody knows you never go full-by time.
Let's briefly say hi to feminism.
Do we want the tro?
Yeah, sure.
Make it short.
Let's get a little tro in here.
Who here identifies as a feminist?
We are the storm.
The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
I'm not alone.
I should be...
They said I was too pretty to fight.
Who said that?
What?
They said I was too pretty to fight.
That's my favorite part.
What?
Who said that?
No one said that.
No one said that.
The meet is going to see this because they want you to be fat and passive.
The end of men streaming now in Fox Nation.
Wait, we already talked about this, didn't we?
2-6?
We did.
I think we did.
We'd probably get one of the guys who worked on it on the show.
They just had.
Have you already forgot about Carolyn Farrell, and that's never going to get done?
No, I sent the message already.
So he just had the Royal Egg Nationalist guy on the show.
And that's a big deal, too.
Tucker did.
Yes.
Okay.
I'd love to change the world.
This sort of relates to the other mental illness we were talking about.
Now, at the beginning of the show, I showed you some protesters, and I thought, are you saying what I'm saying in my head, which is just kick him in the head?
And when you see a successful artist who does things like hangs carpets at 45 degrees, are you saying what I'm saying, which is, I'm jealous.
That seems like an awesome job.
You just come up with stupid shit and everyone has to build it?
And third, when you see these things, are you just thinking blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs?
Also, she better have knee pads.
Just one minute.
Hey, come on in.
Hey, suck my cock.
How's your walk?
You want a treat?
Yeah?
You want a treat?
Okay, I'll get you a treat.
My name's Danny, and I'm a puppy girl just looking for head pats.
My name is Jack, and I'm Danny.
And I love blowjobs.
You want something sweet?
Plenty.
He likes her fat, so he gives her Twizzlers.
It's definitely a more nutritious treat.
Don't dogs have a lot of cardio?
She acts like a puppy, and they can either have an eye.
Well, especially if she goes on walks by herself.
Right.
Play with dog toys, and it's just really fun.
You want to go for a run?
Keep running.
Maybe she's that fat from all the cum she drinks.
Maybe.
Because he just fucks her face 24 hours a day.
What are the macros in cum?
Once he was, I kind of just spilled it like, okay, cool.
I'm actually into puppy play.
I like acting like a puppy.
You should buy me a bowl.
Yeah, it was pretty like spontaneous kind of.
Yeah.
I've had chronic anxiety and panic attacks since I was a kid.
Puppy play is this really great coping skill.
When I've had a really stressful day, I can come home and just kind of lose myself in that puppy space and he'll take care of me.
Doesn't he look like a dude who's been overblown?
You know what I remember I said that?
I don't like black guys with green eyes because they got too many BJs and it drained their brain.
A himbo.
You can get so many blowjobs, it drains your brain.
Like he's up to four a day.
That's not good for your IQ.
Yeah, yeah.
All the Twizzlers.
It makes her happy and just seeing her get all playful and we can be silly, that just, you know, it's been a really good experience.
For me, dressing up in the hard puppy play.
How many Twizzlers has she had?
All my puppy stuff.
This is the first collar that I ever bought.
It's my favorite one still.
And this was my newest ear and tail set.
I love this one.
Well, it's been real, guys, but I think we're done here.
She was depravity.
All right, let's get to the mailbag.
I'm going to get my computer.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our price together.
Let me touch it.
Let me touch it.
Okay.
I son of this sort of exem on his neck.
My eldest boy, the teenager.
And then he also had like this sort of marks here that I thought were zits, but they're not.
Okay, have you noticed I'm wheezing on the show and rubbing my nose a lot?
Yeah, it's been a little wheezy, rubby.
And I wasn't before I started the show.
I might have some sort of allergic reaction to Gatorade.
Oh.
Oh, she replied, sure.
Oh, great.
Okay, say Skype?
We're doing pins, right, by the way?
What?
We're doing pins?
What are pins?
Uh, pinned, uh, flagged.
Yeah, don't worry about that.
Why don't we get around right now?
Oh, okay.
Say like, I realize this is kind of short notice, but what about right now?
See what she says.
I'll read a letter while you do that.
Uh-oh, I'm low on bats.
Hey guys, what do you think about this?
My brother's baby mama got arrested for using drugs, and drugs were found in her baby's system.
Oh, my God.
So if she's breastfeeding, like doing Coke and then breastfeeding, you can kill a baby with that.
My brother's son with her didn't have any drugs in his system, but she lost all her custody to the children.
Good.
Now my DCYF tried to get, I don't know what that is, tried to get my brother to sign a form that would give custody to his son.
Custody to his son to the state as well.
You fuckers and your shitty grammar.
Like, I don't know what DCYF is.
And you have no punctuation here.
Now, DCYF tried to get my brother to sign a form that would give custody to his son to the state as well.
Custody of his son to the state.
Even no.
Not though, even no.
He has nothing to do.
You know what?
You fucked up.
You just killed those kids.
You're a fucking loser.
I'm not reading your letter anymore.
If you can't take the time to talk about something as important as custody issues and not spell things right and make it clear, then you don't care.
So fuck you.
Suit fabric pattern print.
Hey, Mugavbi and Master of the Fags on I made a pattern for Mugabe style, but with Gavin's face, this could have gone in Me News.
It looks pretty cool.
I'm not sure that is exactly what Mugabe's patterns were.
He more has like one face here, one face here.
I mean, I guess we could do that too.
But thank you very much.
Are you pulling that up anytime soon?
I'm messaging with her right now and sent her a pic so she knows it's us.
Okay.
Mugab.
This one's called Suit Fabric Pattern Print.
Suit Fabric Pattern Print.
Oh, wow, I do see that.
That's all right.
That's cool.
We've already moved on from that, though.
But it's cool.
Yo, Gavin Ryan, my son is an eight-month-old toddler baby, and the little shit squirms like crazy when he's getting a diaper change.
It's like wrestling a baby alligator printing.
You know what the Filipina nannies do?
What?
They put the dink in their mouth.
What the fuck?
And he goes from like, wah, to what?
Yeah, they blow a baby.
Wow.
I can relate to this.
My daughter just started doing that.
It's terrible.
Well, you just got to be like, da-ba-dee-ba-da-ba-da-da.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, if you have two people there, I find one thing that really helps is crumpling a piece of paper.
When my daughter, when my daughter was a baby, she cut her hand on some glass when she was crawling.
Long story, bad parenting.
But as they were stitching her hand, I didn't want her looking down or squirming, right?
So I took a paper bag and I was like, hey, what's going on?
She was like, oh, well, however old you are when you're crawling, like eight months.
So I started eating the bag, the paper bag, in front of her, and she was just like, and she got the stitches.
She was getting stitches also because she's a snitch.
Yeah, that's true.
I figure I'd reach out to his unofficial godfather for advice to solve this issue.
So that's the best I can do.
Unofficial godfather, that reminds me, would you like to be the godfather to my daughter Daphne?
Wow.
Yes.
Why is this coming out now?
Because Godfather just came up.
I was going to ask you today because we set up the baptism.
And I was like, let me ask now.
I'm kind of a last-minute guy.
But it's good content for the show.
It is great content.
But why did you wait almost a year?
For a baptism?
No, to make me the Godfather.
Because we have to, that happens with the baptism, right?
No, you just say it.
Oh.
I thought.
No, you need to prove that you're Catholic, that you go to a church.
Oh.
But it's on, I think it'll be November 12th, noon.
It'll take like an hour.
Yes, I'm in.
Yes.
Pretty cool.
Godfather.
Now you can do this.
I'm the Godfather.
That's my third female god baby.
No kidding.
Hopefully that it's your top priority.
It'll be the top goddaughter.
So you know that if you and your wife die, I get the kid.
Yes.
But not if you murder us or if something that you set forth in a sort of clause.
That should be in an asterisk at the bottom.
P.S. If he kills us, obviously, no.
The deal's off.
Sup, homos, do you think why all these politicians are like, so this is your sentence.
Do you think why all these politicians and journalists are cheering for nuclear war is because they have no kids and aren't, spelled wrong, married, so what do they have to lose?
We found our black subscriber.
Okay, so that goes.
Sup, homos, comma.
Do you think, not why, do you think all these politicians and journalists are cheering for nuclear war, not is because, because they have no kids and aren't with an E, married?
Question mark.
So what do they have to lose is extraneous.
But if you insist on putting it in, you could be there.
They figure they have nothing left to lose.
So why not?
Anyway, really bad grammar, dude.
Really tough to read some of these fucking letters.
And it just makes me mad because I'm sitting here saying, read, read a book.
Doesn't that have to be crazy?
Doesn't that have to be, you know, Kierkegaard?
And then you are all like, no, we're good watching TV every night.
And then you write me these emails where you do not have the language at your disposal.
And as Jordan Peterson points out, if you don't have the language at your disposal, you can't think.
You don't have your brain at your disposal.
Hey, driving from Minnesota and got a couple kids, need to figure out baby duties so the wife and I can go to the show.
You said West.
Any other helpful info?
Yes.
Have you got that ready, Ryan?
I do.
Oh, good.
So we can just, well, I guess we'll just clip this.
So starting now.
Okay.
People have been asking us for the Chicago thing.
Wow, it really is right on the water, huh?
It looks like it's flooded.
They're asking us where is the show going To be so they can get a hotel, get a babysitter, that kind of stuff.
We'll announce the venue closer to the date, but we know how, if you look at how psycho everyone is being about my talk at Penn State, you can see what they do to venues when they find out early.
They destroyed the Republican Club, the Manhattan Metropolitan Club, I should say, the night before I did my talk there.
So do you have got, have you got a red circle, Rye Guy?
I do.
So let me find out.
The Gen Air.
Let me see.
So a nice area is this circle here, or Wheaton?
Yeah, anywhere around this circle.
You know, like Glendale Heights.
And you could look this up.
Really nice area.
They have a fucking country club and shit.
If you get a hotel anywhere near this circle, anywhere the southwest of the O'Hare National Airport, you'll be within 20 minutes of the show.
So you can be in Wheaton, Lombard, Glendale Heights, Addison.
That looks far.
Even Naperville.
No, I actually checked out the driving time.
Like if you're in an Uber or something.
Uh-huh.
Anywhere?
Chicago to...
Naperville?
Wheaton?
You can do Wheaton.
Wheaton, Illinois.
Drive.
Done.
It's like an hour.
This is an hour from Chicago.
That's good.
Wait, you didn't send it to the venue, though, right?
Because we're outside of Chicago proper.
So no, but I just chose this town.
And it's 52 minutes from Chicago.
Good.
Chicago is bad.
We are not in Chicago.
We just like to bill it as Chicago because it sounds...
Okay.
Okay, that's taking some getting used to, but okay, okay.
And we have a 10% off coupon code, promo code Gavin, when you're checking out at Eventbrite.
That's a good deal.
That goes for VIP tickets and regular general admission.
So there you have it, folks.
All right, I think we're out of time here.
Let's get to the final vid.
Oh, and Kidoke.
Oh, and Kidoke.
Let's end with some nice shit.
Let's see if we can make ourselves cry.
Okay?
Now, this is not veterans coming home to surprise their children.
I think I'm going to get through these no problem.
Okay.
You ready?
Yes.
Okay.
The first one is under tear jerks, and it's called Kids Bonding with Puppy.
This is it.
Yeah.
Okay.
So they're coming home.
This is Britain.
Hello.
Hi, boys.
It's him.
Now they must know with the cameras that this is not a small deal.
That's Evie!
Wait, what about the tats?
Where did the tats?
Look at her look.
The dog's hit his house.
We're keeping it more.
It's our butt.
It's our dog.
We're keeping it.
Yeah?
Hello, man.
What about the cat?
It'll be all right.
I've met her.
Oh, yeah.
She thinks she likes me already!
Are you happy?
Yeah.
Awwww!
What?
Oh, John!
Oh, John!
Alright, a little moist.
A little moist.
Yeah, moist.
Tiny bit moist.
And that's just dogs.
I mean.
Yeah.
Let's do the next one right below that.
See what we can do here.
Let's blow this sucker up.
Meeting his brother for the first time.
Ooh.
Now we're dealing with humans.
Okay, here we go.
Where's Hudson?
Hi.
Mommy, where's Hudson?
He's right here.
That's your brother.
Right here.
Passing him.
Wow.
What do you think?
What do you think?
You're my best friend, whatever.
I'm really, baby.
That's so good.
I'm so good.
Okay, a little moisture.
Little moisture.
I was annoyed by her bare feet in the hospital.
That helped.
Let's do 61 and see if we can get these out of the gate and down to the cheeks.
Okay.
Out of the gate and into the cheeks.
I think that's a Dio lyric.
*music*
You can talk to her.
She can't talk back, but she knows what you're saying.
Yeah, you can talk.
You can say whatever you want to her.
Okay.
Here you go.
Okay, that's some winners there.
That was some stuff.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop crying.
Plan B, ain't no nigga cuffing me.
You can't put me on the shelf, bitch.
I'm outside with the pleat.
All these bitches having babies, but that ain't finna be me.
Said he wanna settle down, niggas selling all these dreams.
He got one kid, two kids, three kids.
That's a mini move.
And I'm only twenty fucking got a couple years to go.
I don't need a baby shitter, cause this baby gotta go.
It's a shortage on the milk, and them diapers be expensive.
I ain't tryna be a milk, so I swallow all his children.
I got hyphi in my blood, so you know I'm big dipping.
Niggas tryna fall in love, tell them niggas I ain't with it.
I done took care of niggas, now it's time to care for me.
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