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Sept. 16, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:26:01
S4E164 - A LIFE WITH MEANING
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Time Text
Strange Bedfellows 00:15:20
Sloppy Seconds.
I think they're from Detroit.
They're mocking kiss on that album cover, of course.
And the song was, I don't want to be a homosexual.
That was the good old days, the 80s hardcore days, where you could be totally rude and offensive.
Now, hardcore and punk are woke.
And coincidentally, it sucks now.
They have bands like, what are they called?
The Bad Cowboys or something.
Their album's full communism.
You know what these fucking commie teenagers do now?
They defend the gulags.
So they start with socialism and Marx, and they get into the Soviet Union and Stalinism, and they know that's their Achilles' heel, that communism failed in the Soviet Union.
So they go, actually, it was pretty good.
Really?
Didn't 8 million people starve in Holodomor?
Holodomor, however you pronounce that event?
Didn't Stalin kill tens of millions?
40 million people, I believe?
Yeah, a lot of them were ducks.
They say that.
They go, a lot of them were criminals, thieves, and then they throw in landlords.
Like, that's just as bad.
How dare you be a landlord?
They honestly think landlord is a crime.
Spoiled brats.
Go check it out.
Go to Venezuela.
Go experience socialism.
Hey, you know something I was just looking up?
Look up Models Fashion Runway where nothing but sex tape.
This is not your father's sex tape.
That'd be funny if my dad wore sex tape.
This is actual sticky tape.
This is not a video of Kim Kardashing blowing yet another black dude.
Now, the reason I bring that up is because the girl on the right with the bald dude, that body's a little too fit for my liking, right?
I'm not kicking her out of bed for eating crackers.
Don't get me wrong.
Obviously, you know, these women are light years out of my league.
But if we can be critics of perfection, how about that one on the other side?
I haven't been laid in a very long time, by the way.
Zoom in on her.
I want to...
And I think that's the perfect woman's body.
So feminine.
Zoom out a bit.
The way her legs come down into her ankles.
Wide hips.
I mean, she's perfection.
The tape thing, who cares?
It's boring.
Looks like some sort of foreigner.
Probably some Egyptian rich kid.
His dad owns oil.
But can we see more pics of her?
Can I just simp out here?
No, I don't want that.
There's four pics.
Okay, go down.
Wouldn't it be cool if it had her name and then we could just totally chimp, simp out?
No.
Wait, wait.
Oh, fuck.
Alvarez.
Maybe you could reverse image search?
No, no, no, no.
Okay, go back.
Go down again?
The black girl.
Her tits suck, and they're literally being held up with tape, so they want to be much flatter.
This woke affirmative action shit.
There's such things as hot black chicks.
That woman is like a six.
And that's, I'm not even using...
That's not even a seven.
What if you look up Joel Alvera's sex tape?
Oh, we got one.
Okay, so now she has an Afro, so she's in.
She's also a 6.6 with terrible tits and no curves.
Shouldn't you be have an insane body if you're going to be modeling nude?
Those shoes look kind of lame, too.
What's the next one?
That's it.
Oh.
We got a kooky show for you today, folks.
Ryan is away at the Black Tape Project.
Sounds like he's curing cancer.
And why are you writing about something that much?
Yeah, we don't have Ryan here.
He's in Disneyland.
We've got our number one fan.
I want to be clear with this fan, too.
He doesn't represent the baby monsters per se, because it looks like we're mocking our subscribers, and it's rude to bite that hand that feeds you.
This is just one character who happens to be a big fan.
When the fag is away, the real man came out to play.
Okay.
So usually we start light.
We've got a lot of segments to cover today.
So I'm going to dive right into feminism.
That means you have to change the background after you play the interstitial.
The feminism intro is a little long, so I'm going to tell you to cut it and then just lay the music underneath if you can pull that off.
Gotcha.
Let me know when we're ready to set sail.
We're ready to set sail.
All right.
Setting sail.
Who here identifies as a feminist?
We are the storm, the very form of change.
That was a little soon, but okay.
The world has been awakening.
I was going to tell you what's up.
I'm telling you when to stop.
Okay.
Now?
Remember Moldilocks?
Look up Moldilocks.
She was a girl who went to, this is back when the alt-right was not non-toxic, abnormal.
And she went to a Trump rally to get some MAGA scalps.
And of course, MAGA scalps with Antifa mean MAGA hats.
What's this now?
Oh, the story of Moldilocks.
Oh, really?
You know what?
Her real face is so much more interesting.
That guy's pretty good at drawing, though.
Oh, is he?
Turn it up.
He he he he he he.
I want to take my Nazi stops!
Yeah, she went to Berkeley to get some mega scalps.
She ran into that guy, Django Unchained, whatever his name is, and he punched her in the face.
Kind of weird pacing with this, isn't it?
There he is.
I like this guy's drawings, but the pacing is bizarre here.
So chunky.
It's like it's B-roll for someone telling the story.
Anyway, the thing I find fascinating about her is I saw an interview with her.
I think it was on her parents' massive property.
She's middle class.
She's a very pretty, middle-class girl who used to look normal, had a great path ahead of her, a bright future, and she chose Marxism.
She chose Antifa.
And what happens when you choose people who want to destroy America?
They end up destroying you in the process.
It's like joining Al-Qaeda or something.
You're going to blow up while you're making a ball.
And she has a bucket of her own hair.
They turned her into a whore.
Literally.
So she used to do like an OnlyFans thing where she would model her incredibly hairy beef.
And now she's living in an RV and she's a prostitute.
This is what happens, ladies, when you embrace feminism, when you reject tradition.
They're not killing tradition to free you.
They're killing tradition to replace it with nothing until that's you.
Nice lighting, by the way, on that segment.
But I don't know.
Have you got her being punched?
We knew exactly what we were walking into.
Punch it!
Punch it!
You had no idea what we were walking into.
You picked a fight.
You said we're going to go smash.
There's the punch.
He pushed me over, and I was just stuck in this corner.
Nathan D'Amigo had a seen in the video too.
He like he follows me as I'm running away and punches me again, and that's where I fall over.
Let's see what happens.
You have the video of that?
Oh, that's shit.
And you're dead.
Holy shit.
You don't.
You're in the video.
I'm in the video.
Well, cut me out of this.
That's too many gabs.
There's never too many gabs.
Me again, and that's where I fall over.
Let's see what happens.
You have the video of that?
And you're dead.
Boom.
Jesus.
You don't see this on.
The video just contradicted what she said.
She said, I'm running away and he keeps punching me.
She picked a fight.
She went there to fight because she's dumb and she thinks women can beat up men because she's been brainwashed by feminism into thinking she's some sort of action hero.
She's coming at them.
And she announced before she was even there that she was going to go kick some mega ass.
These guys have got to learn what fucking lighting is.
Jesus, that's very frustrating to look at.
And he punched her once.
She fell down.
Oh, they got that.
Oh, they got that too.
In the video, they have this moment happening right now in the end of the video.
Turn it up.
Went in immediately and took what they could, which is like everything.
Look at her.
That's her on the left.
A beautiful woman.
I'm all over this video.
A disgusting porn star who does hairy fisting porn.
I don't know what the hell it's.
Her poor father.
Well, I assume he's not around.
My identity was discovered.
My real legal name was found.
My home address was found.
My home phone number, cell phone, like my family members.
You mean what Antifa does on a minutely basis?
And what Antifa did to me?
And Nathan Domingo?
His name, my extended family's name.
I'm still getting calls on my house phone.
We just unplug it.
My mom's work emails, my dad's work emails.
You picked a fight.
Our school emails, because he's a teacher.
And my grandmother's email and stuff.
My family's put at risk.
Not only me, but the people that I affiliate with were put in danger.
That woman is part of Antifa, which is a violence.
Can you effing believe this that someone goes to punch Nazis and can't believe she got punched?
It doesn't matter, how you feel about Nathan Domingo or anything.
Make those guys innocent patriots, make them Zegiling Nazis, whatever.
That's not relevant.
Make them bikers.
That's a better analogy.
Imagine I'm going to go kick some pagan ass.
Pagans, that's an analogy.
I'm not saying that.
I'm going to go take care of some Hell's Angels.
And then I'm like, Hell's Angels beat the shit Out of me.
They ran me over with their motorcycles.
They got my grandmother's email.
They call my grandma.
So you lost the fight, basically.
Keep going.
This is fun.
International terrorist organization, left-wing terrorist organization.
And so they were not showing that.
They were not showing that her Facebook statement saying that she was going to come to scalp 100 Nazis and stuff like that.
They didn't show that.
They didn't show the fact that she was swinging around the bottle at people.
I've said in previous interviews that I never had a bottle in my hand, but going through the footage and getting things shown to me, I realized that I don't remember half of what happened.
Oh, that's convenient.
Which half?
The half where you're bad?
The fast or weak.
Yeah.
If I need you to intervene, I'll ask you to, but this is my show, and I'm not really looking for a co-host.
You know, actually.
Engineer.
Your job's engineer.
Got it.
My bad.
Ryan used to have a camera pointing down at his shit.
Whatever happened to that?
Pointing down at what shit?
All his computer stuff.
Remember that angle?
It was called the Rad Zone?
Yeah.
I could see.
What happened with that?
Oh.
There was a GoPro involved?
Yeah.
And that's not happening anymore?
I could try.
I'll get back to the news.
Sorry.
Anyway, back to moldy.
What is this video?
Because it's anti-moldy.
Zoom out.
Hello?
Age of Rage.
Wasn't that the documentary on Netflix about calling everyone Nazis?
Alt-right.
Deleted scene.
Moldilocks.
Yeah, this movie's left-wing, and it talks about how dangerous me and Nathan and Nick Fuentes and all that is.
It's like an anti-alt-right movie.
So either they're really bad at their job, or this is a new edit?
This is so weird.
Does anyone watch this and think, well, man, Nazis suck?
Like, they just gave Nathan's side of the argument, and it's good.
And then they just showed her, admitting, in her own deceptive way, that she lied.
I didn't throw a bottle.
Well, we showed you a picture of a bottle.
And that's what I realized.
I'd been punched so hard I got amnesia.
How long is this?
Suffered a pretty bad.
Six minutes.
We're six minutes for five minutes in.
But I did have a bottle in my hand, and I remember when the smoke bomb went off and they started charging, I was like, oh, shit.
I don't want to leave this here for one of them to take to bash one of my friends' heads in.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She's telling two stories at once and they contradict each other.
I didn't have a bottle.
Well, here's a picture of you, the bottle.
I don't remember.
Oh, okay.
Wait, now I do remember.
It was to get it away from the bad guys.
Protecting Bottles 00:15:13
I thought you said you couldn't remember.
You literally seconds ago said that you don't remember.
And now you have a whole story about protecting bottles.
Officer, I did have a gun pointed at you.
It's because I didn't want you to have too many guns.
I was handing it to you, pointing it this way.
Why'd you shoot?
God.
I'm so unarmed right now, and I'm terrified of these men.
So I'm going to take this just in case.
I've just been really humbled that a lot of people have had my support and come up to me today and just said thank you for fighting for our ability to come here and speak.
I never pressed charges or anything.
Berkeley police never contacted me.
His university campus never contacted me.
I've never contacted them.
It's just too much time and energy.
But I would have thought that something would have happened because I'm pretty sure he was on parole because he was in prison for five years.
His posse and group and whatnot would probably not take kindly to me putting their leader and recruiter in prison again.
So, yeah.
Maybe because you wouldn't have a case because we'd expose you for throwing bottles and picking a fight.
Did you see that picture of both of them covered in blood?
Her and her boyfriend?
See if you can dig that one up.
Ladies, again, let's separate politics from this.
You can make NT for the good guys and Nathan the bad guys.
That's not my point.
My point is a really tense political rally is a thing where men go.
If it's just like a conference or a talk or something like that, all genders, all people should go.
But if you know that some shit's going to go down, don't go.
Heather hire.
You're overweight.
As Tucker says, you should have the right to go anywhere.
But you know that this is basically a mass brawl.
So unless you're good at MMA, don't go.
She showed up there in flip-flops, ready to take on Nazis.
When we took on Nazis in the 40s, we were heavily armed.
We even had nuclear weapons, and there was no chicks.
No chicks around.
What's this say?
Never before seen footage.
Look at them.
That's Moldilocks and her boyfriend, who we just saw.
Never before seen footage of Antifa go ranting about her failed coffee wine shop.
This girl is fascinating because it shows what feminism, what Marxism, what Antifa can do to a life.
And it sucks.
Her politics are what got her punched in the face.
Her bullshit is what got her punched in the face.
She convinced herself that she can beat up men.
Women can't beat up men.
Sorry.
Your punches don't hurt.
And your face has like bird bones in it.
It just shatters.
That's why, as a society, we go so nuts when men beat women.
Because it's so easy.
They're so vulnerable.
They're basically kids.
But go back to that last one there, Ben?
This is the second time I've had a producer named Ben.
Bernard.
Bernard, sorry.
You don't brag about never-before-seen footage and then not show it.
You don't brag about never-before-seen footage.
Where is it?
Oh, maybe these?
It's a link.
It doesn't work.
Okay.
Oh, I hate this shit.
Video unavailable.
Go figure.
Well, this is available.
This is the whole reason I've been trying to get there.
What do you end up doing?
Like, women have their chastity.
It's a little gold current coin purse.
They're given it birth, and they said, here's a seed.
This is going to grow into a beautiful flower.
It's very, very valuable.
Okay?
If your life is over, you could always cash it in, but then you got nothing.
It's called your chastity.
And when women are totally fucked, they sell it.
And they shouldn't because you don't get it back.
OnlyFans is the end.
No one marries an OnlyFans.
And no one marries a whore.
You don't put a ring on a whore's hand.
In fact, it's an insult in every culture.
Puta.
But we've destroyed these women's self-worth.
And we're left with them selling the only thing they have left.
I mean, it's what third world people do.
It's what Eastern European slaves do.
It's the bottom.
You know, in the movie Taken, Liam Neeson loses his daughter to the bad guys, and they do the worst thing imaginable.
They make the girls who've been kidnapped into prostitutes.
That's an action movie where the dad has to save her because it's his worst nightmare.
I've got a certain set of skills.
And you know what he does to the guys that made his daughter into a prostitute?
He kills them all.
And you know why it's a popular movie?
Because all us dads are watching it going, you fucking, I would fucking kill all you fucking, oh, you bastards, fucking.
Anyway.
I want to see.
Oh no.
Go to 2-2.
God, you suck.
You're even worse than Ryan.
Okay, enter website.
Here we go.
Moldilocks.
Do you have a home repair fetish?
Do you have a contractor?
You want to fuck a contractor?
Well, this is it.
There's your details.
30 years old and childless.
She's a handywoman whore.
Look at all her pics.
Just like out there.
Is her dad alive?
Because if he's dead, he's spitting in his grave.
And if he's alive, way to go, dad.
Nice job.
She's a little too fit, too, just as a sidebar.
I'm not into six-packs.
She aged a lot.
Yeah.
Are we 1,000% positive that's her?
Dude, that might not be her.
Let's see.
Kind of looks like her.
What are you doing?
Trying to see the other video so we can compare and contrast.
Yeah.
I would just like to.
Now I'm doubting my news piece.
I don't know.
It kind of looks like here.
There's no tattoos.
So that's out.
Okay, the ears.
Look how weird the ears are.
Similar.
Well, that's a different ear.
That's a different ear.
The nose ring.
Okay, got that.
The nose.
See, nose rings really confuse one.
Is Age of Rage, is the whole movie beige like that?
The Age of Beige.
Okay, so let's put this newspiece forward like this.
It appears that she may now be a prostitute.
I have definitely seen porn, where she does like hairy porn, get a hairy vag.
But it appears, we'll have to double confirm this, that she has gone the whole way.
But my point here is really about how feminism and lying to women about who they are destroys lives.
And when they finally realize that having kids is awesome, it's too late.
And the good news is some of them are realizing it now.
Go to 2-3.
Family that always tells me.
I'm so sick of closed captions all the time.
Is that for people in bed who don't want to wake up their significant other?
I have friends and family that always tells me you're so lucky to be single and have no kids.
oh good this isn't cc but i got something to show you womp womp womp Sitting down facing the wall.
Sorry to say.
But a lucky one are you.
Turn it up.
Because you have somebody who's waiting for you at home.
Whether it's your husband or your kids.
Whether they drive you crazy.
Whether you feel like you don't got time for yourself.
Believe me.
The lucky one is you.
At least you could eat on the table full of people who loves you.
Not by yourself.
Living in an empty house.
Not having nobody to cater to.
So think twice before you tell somebody that's single that they live in a life.
Because you don't know how envy they are of you.
Wish you find that once you love someone to build a family and have kids with and who to come to.
And remember, it's better to be with people you love and be on the table with people you love than to be.
You know why no one loves you?
Because you don't know the word envious.
Why don't you spend tonight reading a book?
With no one to share it with.
Yeah, we got it.
She did not spend her primary years prioritizing relationships so she gets to age 40.
Black me.
Admit life, and there's a crisis because the rest of her life.
She does not have what everybody.
That guy died.
She does not have a primary Andrew Tate style.
These guys, these like ladies, feminism is bad for you, present their evidence, blow up, and then they either die or get canceled.
Out of nowhere, he was everywhere.
Millions of views on YouTube, and then poof, gone.
Is that fentanyl or something?
At least Andrew Tate's alive.
And I especially liked seeing this with people like Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman, who pushed the whole like, you don't need to get married.
It's gay.
It's lame.
It's boring.
I have, my work is my wife or my husband.
My work is my kids.
That's my craft.
Bill Maher is like that.
He goes, I'll spend like 40 hours on a monologue.
That's my child.
Dude, your monologues are mediocre and they're forgotten instantly.
Sorry, you're not the philosopher king.
You're an entertainer.
Hello, my baby.
You might as well be playing a little blues guitar.
It's that relevant.
No, it's more relevant than that.
I'm glad that Bill is red-pilling liberals.
I shouldn't totally trivialize his life, or mine gets trivialized.
But check out Sarah Silverman, who, by the way, has a sister in Israel who's got tons of kids drowning in love and affection.
So she sees that.
That's the thing about Chelsea, too.
She goes to these family reunions and she sees all her nieces and nephews growing up and becoming women and offering things to the world.
And you realize when you're childless, I'm not part of this.
I'm just sort of like space junk, you know, floating outside of the Earth.
I'm a broken satellite dish piece.
Floating.
And then it gets real bad when you die.
That's not her.
What?
Different chick.
Yep.
Huh.
Well, that's an interesting piece then, because my false information sent us down a whole path of kind of juicy gossip.
This is her.
Tiny little spitfire.
How do you know that she's not tiny little...
And she still looks, you know, the same with the bull ring in her nose.
That looks exactly like her, dude.
As opposed to this with the long weird face, you don't get a bigger weird nose.
Oh, so the chick you just showed, that's Moldilocks, right?
Yeah.
That does look like her.
That doesn't look like her.
Yes.
Yep, confirmed.
Not a prostitute.
I realized this weekend.
No, go back.
That my boobs are something like two sizes bigger since gaining a few pounds.
If someone sends me lingerie fonts.
So she's basically a prostitute.
Yeah.
She's one pube away from being a prostitute.
But let's do Sarah Silverman.
And Shapiro's trans now?
Just right away.
Just thinking, what's the point?
No, go back.
You've got to see the very beginning of this.
How do you do that?
You click off and click on?
Yep.
Click it on.
Ready and go.
But yeah, Saturday, I woke up just right away.
Just thinking, what's the point?
Nothing matters.
I just went through the motions.
I put on my, you know, I took a bath, I put on my tinted moisturizer, listened to old sets on my phone to kind of just prep and just do proactive things.
I sunk into depression because I felt like nothing matters, and it ended up being the same thing that snapped me out of it.
Right.
Nothing matters.
Just have fun.
That is the third saddest thing I've heard today.
It is such a common attitude on the left to think that nothing matters, to have no fulfillment, to have no joy.
And it's like, yeah, you guys don't want to get married.
You think the world is ending.
You have no children.
You think that there is an oppressive system killing you.
No wonder you are unfulfilled.
Forgive me in the comments and this is my mantra.
We are all doing things to keep busy until we die and it's okay and there's nothing to worry about.
And there's so much that is so incredible and fulfilling in this life.
And these people are missing all of it.
But yes, Saturday, I woke up.
No, there's so much more to that too.
Like with atheism, it's just random that we're here.
We don't matter.
We could die.
We're just sand.
Sand in the hourglass.
I met a guy in Paris who was like, I'm not just agnostic.
I am positive there's no God.
Fuck him.
Wow.
So you take that out.
And then there's all this anti-Western shit, right?
Where we're evil, we were colonizers, we were terrible.
So now you look at all the beauty we've created that God enabled us to create.
Dumped And Envious 00:03:46
All these fantastic sculptures and music and art and literature.
That's all garbage now.
So now you can't enjoy the fruits of our labor.
That's all shit.
So yeah.
You keep shitting in your own mouth, you're going to get sick.
I told you.
I told Sarah.
I used to know her.
I said, Jimmy, fucked up.
He should have married you.
You still could have squeezed some out.
And she goes, what are you talking about?
I'm the happiest I've ever been.
No, you're not.
I just heard you ranting in an almost suicidal tone.
And I think, too, they're constantly putting all their, like, they go, I don't need a man, because women are agreeable, right?
Chelsea does this all the time.
I don't need a man.
I don't need a man.
Then they get Joe Coy and they go, I do need a man.
I love it.
I love it.
And they realize they were lying to themselves all these years, pretending that it was good.
But it's worth it because now I have Joe Coy.
Joe Coy and these other guys, they're used to just blowing through bitches and just dumping them when they get bored.
And that's what they do.
Men are like that.
We see that with the gays.
And when you have no kids, why bother?
I know a guy who is fiancé's pregnant and she said, I want to have the wedding After I have the baby, and I go, That's fine for the ceremony, dude.
But you got to get the paperwork.
She needs your last name.
You have to register this because it's very hard to dump a husband.
It's very easy to dump a boyfriend.
She dumps you, she gets a new boyfriend, the kid starts calling that guy dad.
You just lost a child.
So without marriage, without kids, without last names, they just go, ah, I want to fuck kind of a more of a Latina.
Chelsea's too white.
I'm going to go with a Latina for a while.
And then you're like, man, these are dumb.
They don't know the word envious.
They say you don't know how much he envy, he have envy of you.
How much he envy of you.
And you go to another one.
And then these women are really fucked because I convinced myself that my life was awesome.
I don't need men.
I got a man.
I realized that that whole life was a lie.
The man dumps me.
Now everything's a lie.
And that's when you wake up on a Saturday and go, what's the point?
This is why I was so pissed off at Bill Schultz.
He said, Gavin always tells people to get married and have kids because he got famous recently.
That's not true.
And he realized he can't have all this pussy.
What?
I fucked one billion women.
And now he wants no one else to get pussy.
And it's like, first of all, you're trivializing my marriage, saying I hate it and shitting on my wife and my kids.
And secondly, you're assuming that my motive, which is increased joy, maximum happiness, as little regret as possible, my motive is the opposite of that.
It's just vindictive.
Yeah, I don't want you guys partying.
No.
I partied too much.
I wish I had settled down earlier, and I want you to make the same mistake.
And believe me, the inbox is chock-a-block with people saying, dude, I got a kid.
Deep Dive Into Racism 00:07:58
He's the cutest in the world.
Thanks.
Thanks for telling me to grow a pair.
All right, guys.
I have been avoiding racism as a subject for a while because it feels racist.
And I think racism and anti-Semitism and sexism, any kind of ism is a rut.
But everyone else is talking about it and they're lying about it and they're saying we're the bad guys and black people are angels.
So every once in a while we have to do a little reboot and discuss some uncomfortable things.
So without further poo-poo, let's dive in, deep dive into some racism.
I'm a black female.
What other different, what else could I have done to piss you off?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
That's crazy!
I have a dream.
Oh, Black Betty, bam, bam.
Whoa, Black Betty, bam, bam.
Black Betty had a child.
Bam, bam.
What?
things Oh, this was funny.
3-6.
This happens a lot, and I've got them all documented here.
It's liberal math is what it is.
And it's the death of education.
While these teachers are telling our kids what BLM is and how important it is to protest and how you should throw a brick at Starbucks, they're not teaching math.
And we end up with this.
The diamond is worth 400 million.
South Africa has 60 million people in it.
Which means we can give everyone $1 million and we should still have about $340 million left.
Because if you give 60 million people $1 million, that's $60 million.
Does that math check out with you, Ryan?
I don't know what Ryan.
I would have to say about that.
Probably something retarded.
No, if you were to give a million dollars to 60 people, that would work.
But not...
Well, yeah, and just change it to oranges.
The diamond is worth 400 oranges.
South Africa has 60 oranges, which means you can give everyone one orange.
Wait a minute, that doesn't work.
Now I'm confusing myself.
400 million.
60 million.
400 oranges.
So it has 60 oranges, which means we can give...
Yeah, you can only...
400 oranges, and South Africa has 60 oranges, which means we can give everyone one orange.
I've totally confused myself.
South Africa has 60 million people.
You give 60 million people.
Yeah, you can give 60 million people $1.
You'd have 340 million up.
I think if you divided up 400 million by 60 million, I think you'd be able to give people like $6 or $7.
Anyway, I checked this woman.
She's a South African healer.
She writes books on self-healing.
And that tweet is still up.
I just made that the link in case she took it down.
But imagine doing that, getting ratioed, and just leaving it there.
And of course, this takes us back to 3-7.
And this is actually a good example.
Remember Maya King or something?
She was a writer at the New York Times.
And she was on with the dude who doesn't mind his daughter's ass being eaten on TV.
Right?
Yep.
Who wants to spend a billion bucks beating this guy?
He could do it.
Absolutely.
Somebody tweeted recently that actually with the money he spent, he could have given every American a million dollars.
Got it.
Let's put it up on the screen.
When I read it tonight on social media, it kind of all became clear.
Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads.
U.S. population, $327 million.
Don't tell us if you're ahead of us on the math.
He could have given $1 million and have had lunch money left over.
It's an incredible way of putting it.
It's an incredible way of putting it.
You know what this is proof of?
Liberals think a million is a billion.
And I think they also think a trillion is a billion.
Because when they talk about the deficit, they don't seem to think it's a big deal.
And they say, can't some of these billionaires just pay off the deficit?
No.
All of the billionaires in America could maybe take 10% off of our, what are we at now, $20 trillion?
They don't know math.
He spent $500 million on ads.
He could give 327 million people $1.
It's the exact same mistake.
And the spooky thing about this is, and I'm glad we pulled in, what's his name again, that guy?
Brian Ritter?
Brian Williams?
Yeah, he was the one.
His daughter was in that HBO show, Girls.
And they said, how did you feel about that scene?
And he goes, oh, whatever.
I thought she's a great actress.
No, dude, you don't want to see your daughter getting eaten out on TV.
You're a liar.
And we know you're a liar because you said bodies were floating down the river in New Orleans in the French Quarter, and the French Quarter was not flooded that bad.
But this Brian Williams, yeah, the spooky thing about what we just saw, right, was that dumb black woman brought it up.
He sees it and goes, yep, amazing.
The staff at NBC, the graphics guy who put it there, how many people were involved in that?
I'm going to say 14.
14 people saw that and went, yep, it's going up.
Oh, yeah, the other thing about the Queen's crown is it wasn't South Africa then.
It was like abandoned land.
So who owns it?
Do you want to see what South Africa looked like in 1940?
Do you think there was African people mining diamonds and then someone stole it?
Sorry.
And does that mean that all mining that happened in the world has to go back to the original country it's in?
That's not how it worked, especially if you're too stupid to get it out yourself.
Which is why we need to get in a time machine and not tell the Middle East that we're getting oil out there, pay them $100 a month.
No, make them pay us $100 a month to clean their water supply and get that gross black stuff out of it.
Now here's a professor doing the same, and I can't tell if he's joking or not.
37B.
Musk spent $44 billion.
world's population is 8 billion.
He could have given each person 5 billion and still...
Yes, that's a joke.
I feel like a check for $5 billion would be life-changing for most people.
Yeah, that's a joke.
No one got that he was being sarcastic.
I graduated with a PhD in economics, a minor in mathematics, John Hopkins.
Where did you learn to count to four?
Anyway.
Now I'm doubting that he was kidding.
I don't know if he was kidding.
You know, Crip Daddy, my trolling days have come to an end.
There we go.
Crip Daddy put out a quote recently, if you can see his Twitter, about the Little Mermaid.
Affirmative Action Backlash 00:09:19
People are upset that they've blackified even her.
And he put out a tweet pretending that these certain terms were being used.
I can send it to you if you can't find it.
Yeah.
This is so messed up.
List of slurs the alt-right are using because of the little mermaid being black.
I can't believe he didn't include mommy tea, mammy tea, coon tuna, fried chicken of the sea, fishbowl slave, house slave, police battered fish stick, and Jamai mackerel, pick a swimmy, seaporch monkey, jigaboo jellyfish.
And his Twitter feed is full of people going, no one's using those.
I haven't heard people say them.
Go, go, show it.
Go it, do it.
These are made up.
You're really just going to write off racism when it's right in front of you?
It's trying too hard.
None of these terms have been brought up when I've made fun of the new mermaid movie.
Says who?
You, the gatekeeper of everything racist?
I wish I was that cool.
I don't know if these are real.
Chippa enjoyed you.
Well, congrats on not being racist.
I've never seen anyone use these terms.
Okay.
I've never seen China.
That doesn't mean it ain't real.
Anyway.
Also an affirmative action.
It's hard to separate racism as far as this show goes with affirmative action.
We could just call it affirmative action.
Or black failure, white guilt.
I thought this was funny.
This woman, Jumi Bellows' debut novel was dropped for plagiarism.
New details show its serial.
You know what's incredibly ironic about this?
The New York Times is writing about it because she's a black woman.
And they're fascinated by everything black.
So she was chosen to win this book prize because she's black.
And she was not qualified.
So she faked the book.
And they said, fine, that's great.
And then they give her the award.
Then they look into it and go, oh, shit.
And then the New York Times cares and gets all over it because she's black.
And then, get this.
She apologized.
Well, maybe I have the quote here.
This girl plagiarized at the Iowa Writers Workshop, plagiarized her novel, then plagiarized her apology letter.
Oh yeah, this is, my buddy sent me this.
They yanked her 225K advance, and black writers now claim publishing is racist and not safe for black people because you get your money revoked.
Yeah.
So this is bizarre.
This is the mentality.
We have to plagiarize.
It's just what we do.
And it's not safe for us plagiarizers in publishing.
That's like saying, I stab people, that's what I do.
And it's not safe for me to walk down the streets because I'm going to get arrested when I do my stabbings.
You got your money taken away because You cheated.
I'm not going to give you money for someone else's book.
They already got paid for that.
You're doing the same thing.
They have a distribution deal with their content.
You can't have their content.
And the fact that she plagiarized her apology letter is just and this is kind of similar.
Blacks in Oregon go to jump to 4-0 are allowed to steal bikes now.
You see, stealing bikes is something that we do as African American.
So don't prosecute it or you're making the streets unsafe.
San Francisco Bicycle Coalition says not to call police about stolen bikes because it hurts black and brown people.
You see, so you don't have to stop plagiarizing or stealing bikes.
We just have to stop policing it.
That's the solution.
It's just like that mayor who said we need to give them room to riot.
Remember that one?
And blacks and brown people in Oregon, this is another same state, were having trouble graduating.
Their reading, writing, and arithmetic was bad.
You know why?
Because they didn't try.
They didn't read books.
They didn't show up to class.
You can't progress, you can't progress academically if you don't do the work.
So the solution, just like with the bikes, no more standards.
Oregon governor signs law allowing students to graduate without proving they can write or do math.
It gives us an opportunity to review our graduation requirements and make sure our assessments can truly assess all students' learning.
The bill, which suspends proficiency requirements for students for three years, has attracted controversy for at least temporarily suspending academic standards.
Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, backers argued the existing proficiency levels for math reading presented an unfair challenge for students who do not test well.
And here's the moment you've all been waiting for.
Boyle said the new standards for graduation would aid Oregon's black, Latino, Latinx, Indigenous, Asian.
Yeah, I don't think Asian should be in that list.
Pacific Islander, tribal, and students of color.
You have no Pacific Islanders in Oregon.
Latinx, Latino, what?
You can't have both of those words.
You mean black people and a couple of Mexicans.
Indigenous.
So that's the solution, folks.
And they do this all the time.
This is nothing new.
I remember the fire department, they said that black people were having trouble with the written part of the tests.
So they just stopped doing them.
They also noticed black people didn't like the smoke room.
You've got to go through this long chamber of smoke, and you come out coughing your guts out.
It's fucking brutal.
Black people hate it, so they said, okay, black people don't have to do it anymore.
Remember that story I told you about the FDNY?
These black guys failed the test.
They sued the FDNY for 10 years for racism because they couldn't pass the test.
They won.
And then the FDNY retroactively paid them back all those 10 years because they should have been firemen those 10 years and then hired them.
So they show up at the firehouse making like whatever a fireman would make after 10 years, probably like 100 grand.
And they're sitting next to guys who have lost friends, who have almost died, who have been doing this job for 10 years.
They both have earned the same amount of cash.
But these guys got it in a lump sum.
Come on now, dog.
Come on, man.
I heard they did this in South Africa with the GED high school things.
You know that when you go to high school after high school, adult high school?
They just lowered the standards down to zero.
So you get a GED for nothing.
But that means nothing.
Now your GED is meaningless.
This is what happens when you abandon meritocracy.
Everything becomes meaningless.
That's what we have to avoid.
Meaning.
In the meaning.
And this one is eating the poop all over the place.
Okay, this is why we're covering this subject.
Go to 4.3.
So this corrupt politician...
No.
She's corrupt because she is a product of affirmative action.
She's not there for any other reason but her race.
And so you're not going to get qualified people.
If you only hired people with long hair, you wouldn't have the same quality as if, I mean, as if you hired people who were the most qualified.
This is not a black thing.
They made it a black thing.
This is an affirmative action thing.
Breaking Report, New Orleans, Democrat Mayor, Latoya Cantrell, says flying economy is unsafe for black women.
And she refuses to pay $30,000 of taxpayer cash.
She splurged on luxury flights to Europe.
Well, she had to check in.
The Louisiana purchase hadn't quite gone through.
So she had to check in on the French to make sure that the deal was being passed.
Let's have a look at her.
Oh, no, that's the look up Latoya Cantrell.
I want to see what she looks like.
There she is.
Whether or not New Orleans Mayor Pussy applied to elected officials she charged this year to upgrade her city air travel to business in first class.
All expenses incurred doing business on behalf of the city of New Orleans will not be reimbursed to the city of New Orleans.
Sonny's Back Punching Controversy 00:05:08
One thing is clear.
I do my job, and I will continue to do it with distinction, with dignity, and integrity every step of the way.
So that's what I have to say on that news.
The city's travel pitches.
I love going there.
I love the culture and the day drinking and all that, but living there.
I have a buddy that lives there.
He just goes out of his house every few days with his pit bulls and just looks around just to make sure everyone remembers.
Oh, sorry.
With a gun, holding a gun.
Just comes out with his pit bulls.
They see his pit bulls when he walks them, obviously, but just stands around the gun.
Just a reminder: I'm the guy who's heavily armed in this house.
Don't try anything.
So maybe she's right, though, that it is unsafe for black people to ride coach.
Look at 4-2.
I think it's unsafe for everyone to ride coach at this point.
I can't even make out what this guy is doing.
Do you know what the number 4-2 means, Bernard?
*Sigh* *Sigh* *Sigh*
Oh, it's a tray table.
It's gone.
Is he barefoot destroying the tray table?
Oh!
Come on!
Shit!
You mad at Harley, I'll get the one out there!
We got to bring back punching.
That's my problem with these to catch a predator things.
It's just like this is someone who deserves a punch in the face.
Why are we talking so much?
You tried to fuck a 12-year-old.
It's time to get your ass kicked.
Sorry.
I just want to talk to you.
And they're so nice to them.
They're like, hey man, look, we're not going to hurt you.
Just got some questions here.
We have in the chat here, you talking about doing stuff that's NSFW with a 12-year-old.
And he's like, yeah, well, I wasn't going to do that.
I was scared.
Yeah, well, we're not going to hurt you.
We just want to talk to you.
It's like, what?
Why?
If you're going to punch anyone in the face, shouldn't it be a fucking pedophile?
What's with all the kid gloves?
Here they are destroying the baggage claim after they got out of the plane.
Maybe I should have said what I'm saying, can we bring back punching in the face?
Can we redistribute punches in the face?
There seems to be one group who has no hesitation punching the shit out of anyone.
Those guys need to punch less.
Other people need to punch more.
So this went viral, as you know.
Right?
But Sonny from Reitbart, who I was once good pals with.
I haven't talked to her in a long time.
But she's a real black conservative.
Not like a Ben Carson, but she's got the accent.
And she has chitlins and grits and stuff.
And look at that.
So she says, well, you're not seeing the whole story.
Right?
And so she puts out the whole story.
And it's not much better than what we just saw.
41B.
Sonny Johnson.
So here's the entire video.
The first part was cut out.
Okay, so what are you going to see that justifies a mob of 15 women beating the shit out of one girl?
Turn it up.
Go get some more hair, bitch.
*Mario plays*
Okay, wait, stop.
So I think Sonny's angle is that the white woman threw the first punch.
The woman was coming at that guy.
Isn't that justified?
I mean, I could go either way, really.
But when do you punch someone when they're coming at you?
Do you wait until they're right in your face?
I don't know how a court would handle that.
But I think it's pretty reasonable when some...
And then it should be over.
Not let's get all 20 people involved.
So I don't think you can defend this, sonny.
There could have been spit, too.
Why We Were Green 00:03:50
You don't know.
Yep.
Still there.
like a lamprey on a shark.
All right, final thing.
I'm starting to feel bad about all this negative publicity.
Trend on black Twitter, we was hulks.
Apparently, a group of African-American youngsters are under the impression that because they saw some green in some old Egyptian drawings, by the way, the Egyptians, not black, Arab, they look like Sicilians.
Slightly curly hair.
But because they see some pictures of Egyptians that were green, they think this is what color they are.
They were green before the sun turned us copper.
Wait, when was there ever not sun?
Oh boy, how great it feels to be our original color.
You know, before they put out the false sun that, oh, so there was a normal sun, and then someone switched the suns.
There is proof.
A, those guys were not black.
B, those guys were not green.
Cats were green, too.
Yep.
We was hoaxed.
Look at the next one.
Here's another guy doing it.
Fun fact, it's crazy.
Everybody's falling in love with this filter whole time.
This was our original color in ancient times, green and blue, before we started breathing in all these other chemicals in the air.
But chemicals are like post-industrial revolution, right?
What chemicals were around when you were green?
I mean, you act like the Hulk when you get mad.
Yeah.
But go down that thread because there's more people talking about it and explaining it.
Wow.
That would be a good book, a book of the most ridiculous theories in the world.
Flat Earth, didn't land on the moon, no dinosaurs, all the things Ryan believes.
I'm glad he's not here.
Like everybody else in the comments talking about their babies have green birthmarks.
Our true color is green.
Melanin is like chlorophyll to the human body.
Got our original way of life and our divine connection, and nature used 100% of our intelligence.
When magnesium was plentiful on our planet, our skin was greenish black.
It was placed with iron.
And I'm going to get into that.
Yeah, I know chemtrails, all these other things that are dumped into the sky, right?
And it tells you your body is made up of 75% water.
And with water and everything else, all those artificial metals, we illuminate brown.
Green was associated with the vegetation.
We were blue.
It's the color scheme.
Green and turquoise, the blue.
Tell us about the chemtrails, right?
Keep this.
But the chemtrails are brand new.
I mean, how long have we had planes for?
18.
When was the first flight?
1903.
You were black before 1903.
Hydrogen, not oxygen.
Why?
That's because hydrogen is the lightest of all molecules and escapes to space easily.
As being multi-dimensional beings, I rest my case.
Peace.
Peace.
I agree with you on that one.
I want peace.
Anyway, that's a fun trend that won't go anywhere.
This isn't.
To follow up on the yesterdays?
Here's another beating.
Mary Lou's Taxi Mystery 00:15:19
Yeah, I don't want to watch that.
It's very bad.
He probably didn't want that to happen, so.
I hate people being hit when they're down.
These are just the ones that are caught on tape, too.
So devoid of any kind of honor.
Yeah, that was my falling out with Ari the Rugged Man.
I don't know if he talks to me anymore, but I shouldn't say a falling out.
My last discussion with him was that Egyptian thing.
I go, Egyptians weren't black.
And he did this fucking annoying thing where he sent me pictures of coffins, you know, the Tutankhamun, with blacks on them.
And he goes, LOL, and that's the crying emoji.
Like, I'm so stupid that your point just makes me laugh.
You can't have a discussion with someone when they do the LOL crying thing.
It's a really irritating thing.
It's a very, I raise Gen X, but it's a very Zoomer thing.
But anyway, there was black people on those, on their burial things because they would pack them with their slaves.
There were some blacks in Egypt.
They were slaves.
So you paint slaves on it, so when he's dead in the afterlife, he gets his slaves.
It's a retarded thing to think.
And it's something they still think in China and Taiwan, where they burn paper shoes and paper cars and paper cell phones.
So you'll have a cell phone in the afterlife.
Paper money they burn so you can buy shit in the afterlife.
All right, let's do the mailbag.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
let me touch it um Now, this is a banked episode, to be frank, and I don't like saying that.
It kind of takes the allure out of it, especially when it says live from New York.
But some of these timings are going to seem weird.
Somebody's probably told you, but Gavin estimated maybe $400 a month for childcare.
It's $350 a week.
A grand a month would be cheap.
So what's she making?
$500 a week?
That's what a middle-American dumb restaurant job would make.
So now if you're spending $350 for childcare and you're making $500, you're making $150 a week.
So what's that?
$30 a day?
I think that's what they make in the third world.
You're a third world slave.
And the government's getting their peace.
They're happy.
Yes, sir.
You're talking about people who use sex dolls for a living, so that gives the day away.
That's okay if you want to unfollow me.
That's okay if you want to unfollow me.
I got plenty of hot chicks that follow me on Facebook.
You just want less.
This documentary is probably one of the funniest examples.
He attempts to crowdfund a sex doll and ends up on the local news, and his dad sees it, eventually gets a sex doll and murders it and lies about it being stolen.
How do you murder a sex doll?
I hope that's not illegal.
Stabbing latex women and checking them out too much, you know.
But holding up the dolls disappearing.
Dude, LATIC.
Let's face it, people.
Let's face it.
The craving was so bad that I could taste it.
It just screams pathetic, doesn't it?
So I can build my gothic prints if I had that kind of money.
But annoying that was going to get the news involved.
You know what, Felicia?
Like, you don't need to be able to do it.
After my heat of anger was over, I could have handled that situation a lot better.
But it is what it is, YouTube.
So sad.
So did he skip around here?
Did he get it?
I look to fat fuck.
Ooh.
You're making me wet.
There's some here.
Why is it a four-year-old?
Is that his sex doll?
Yes, it is.
Why is she a divorce?
I'll take real good care of her.
Alright, too depressing.
Can't take it.
Get it out of my life.
King Cobra.
Boop-bad-bity-dee.
Can you guys post the flash for the eagle tattoo somewhere on the site?
Yeah, we should do that.
I'll have Ryan handle that.
Put it up.
Bernard.
All right.
I'm just sending that to him right now.
Now, let's see.
I know it's around here somewhere.
There we go.
There we go.
I don't see anything.
So, let me make something clear about future shows.
If you have that on you, you get into the show for free.
If there's any problem at the door, have me contacted.
I will get you in.
I'm usually very good about making sure people at the door understand that.
However, if you buy tickets and you have that tattoo, I'm not refunding your tickets.
Do you understand?
And yes, you get the expensive one, the hangout one.
You get everything for free.
Anywhere on your body.
Hey, Big G, I might be late to this one, but I just discovered a new conversation killing out.
already covered that one.
Uh...
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-doo.
Gavtron, RiceWine, Maddie, this happened the Monday after you were quote-unquote arrested.
It made me think twice about it, even though the watch thing is what really nailed it shut for me.
As people saw my watch was the wrong time.
Anyway, go to about 7.45 in the show.
You are mentioned very briefly.
*sad music*
Corporal Black, tell me you have some good news for you.
Trigger, you got ambushed, bitch, and then the quality of that is insane.
How'd they do that?
That's really good.
Like, that's indistinguishable from a real war movie.
By the way, my monitor isn't great here.
When I saw this on my computer, it was much brighter.
You could see every feature.
I don't know if it's my monitor here or what, but I don't even know how they did it.
The mud they're on is real, and I guess it's green screen after that.
The bullets are awesome.
I guess someone spent like a day in After Effects?
Doll unboxings and makeup tutorials with Tray...
Corporate!
Corporate!
You Palo Alto bastards!
Sure, we need to surrender!
Oh, come on!
We didn't come all this way just to give it up to some Silicon Valley sprite, right?
Oh shit, you know what's going on, dude?
What?
He must have his new studio.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when we were there, he was building a massive real movie set with like five different shooting rooms.
That's what's going on.
Good quality.
Wait, did they even mention you in there?
Yeah, they said they got Gavin.
He's talking about the death of YouTube.
He's like, they got Gavin.
They got that.
They took him down.
The analogy, Bernard, is they're fighting a war to save YouTube.
But to answer your question, I've told you this before.
Crowder dumped me.
I have no idea what I did wrong.
He used to call me regularly to go on the show.
Poof.
Now, I nagged him once.
We had a video message for his birthday or something.
And my video message was, will you stop not having kids?
You bitch.
I was ribbing him, but it wasn't like an angry thing.
And plus, when you're ribbing someone to make babies, you want them to have a better life.
And I think his wife may have been having some trouble.
I don't know.
So maybe that was it.
But I obviously wouldn't be ribbing someone if I knew that there was any kind of biological issues.
And they got kids now, right?
So it all worked out.
Anyway, what are you going to do?
My best friend is dying.
He's not dying.
He's right here.
You just owned him.
No, what he meant was he was cutting me out of his contacts.
He didn't say who is killing the friendship.
My best friend is dying.
So we were talking about Dostoevsky, I guess.
Oh, yes, I believe that was GML season four.
Oh, I want to say episode 162.
I'm not sure.
Yeah, Ryan was mentioning that he was reading Dostoevsky.
I remember that.
Oh, you have the episodes memorized.
Oh, yeah.
Are you kidding me?
I remember seeing this woman, a documentary about this woman, who can never forget anything.
And she's clinically depressed because what we do as humans is we cherry-pick what memories we want to hold on to, and we just delete the shitty ones.
So our lives are much better in our heads.
And also with death and horrible things.
Wow, she looks exactly like the chick from Taxi.
Had a name for it.
Oh, really?
And so they studied you and they found other people like you.
Yes, well, they studied a woman by the name of Jill Price first, and people were saying, oh, there's a woman on television who has your memory.
And then I found out from Leslie Stahl that she was offered the story and turned it down.
Mary Lou Hentner.
Not that unusual.
I have a friend who has a history.
So get this.
Her boyfriend, she's madly in love with together for a long time.
He dies.
It's like he died yesterday.
Oh, wow.
She has the same pain.
And get this.
She used to love the show Happy Days.
She watched every episode.
She has them all memorized.
So when they were doing the box set and writing up the little things for the little booklet, whatever that comes with it, they hired her.
Oh, wow.
And when they were doing the advertising, they hired her because they're like, what's the one where Chachi got dumped by Joni?
And she's like, that was episode 136.
It was shown Tuesday at 8 p.m.
It was rainy that day.
Wait, that is her from Taxi.
It is?
Yeah.
Actress and author, Mary Lou Henner, has an amazing ability.
She can remember graphic details of almost every day of her life.
Wow.
And she's on the show Taxi.
Unbelievable, right?
That's a trip.
Are you 100% positive?
Because we may have fucked up with Moldilocks.
Yeah.
Oh, and there might be other people with that same thing.
It's kind of like a syndrome.
Yeah.
It sounds like it would be cool, but apparently it's hell.
Look up Mary Lou Henner on Taxi.
All right.
That also starred Andy Kaufman.
By the way, the email I'm trying to get to, there she is.
Very attractive.
Come on along and listen to The lullaby of Broadway Hippoly and Ballyhoo The lullaby of Broadway The rumble of a song Can you guys be at work?
A lot of downtime with taxi drivers.
I just want to do my driving and then get home.
Those are some cannons.
Kaboom, kaboom.
Remember when they used to call boobs bazookas?
Not a lot of bazookas.
Women in the 60s?
So go to this picture, Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karina, Karinina.
And it's someone recommending some classic book, which is dumb.
But doesn't that look like a woman who's bent over with her hands behind her knees and someone stuffed a bunch of flowers up her ass?
What weird porn.
That book looks boring.
It reminds me of when I read Anna Kerr, Ina.
Yeah Uh Tch tch tch tch tch Some guy was with a German woman, and she said, you must come on my pussy hairs, you see?
He said it was the most hilarious experience of his life.
Of course, he's probably referring to, he was probably sending me that because I had sex with a woman from Malta named Amma.
And when we were fornicating, NSFW, I was wearing a condom so I could ejaculate in her.
And she said, as I was ejaculating, she said, oh, you are coming in, my pussy, you fucking guesshole.
And I cracked up while ejaculating.
I bet she was as tall as 200 meters plus 200, the Statue of Liberty plus.
Fuck.
I'm sorry.
She was very petite, actually.
I'm happy with myself for being ride or die with you guys over the prank.
However, I've told my hands up completely to...
I suggested you apologize for upsetting your fans, friends, etc.
If you apologize, how would you be any different to the fags?
Like, any different from the fags we are opposed to?
It isn't your fault that we live in a climate of fear.
If we wanted to apologize, we should have subbed to Disney Plus.
You're part of the remedy.
You stir the pot.
You take chances.
We plebes lack the balls to.
Did you write this, Bernard?
Go on.
It gets good at the end.
Although it sucked to hear you say, fuck you, don't tell me how to do my art.
You are 100% correct.
You are the one providing an outlet for our side.
You're the one taking the risks, taking the flack, making the effort to entertain.
And maybe not intentionally lead.
I told you last week that some bitch came up to me and with her camera going, ha ha.
And I was like, this is what we're doing now?
You just film and laugh.
She was super hot.
And then she goes, no, behind you, that's me.
I'm excited.
She was a model, and her face was like this big behind me holding some Maybelline.
I was like, oh, okay.
Banger After Banger 00:06:36
This is what we're doing now.
And then she thought I was mad that I was in her picture.
She goes, you're not in the shot.
I'm not, you're not.
Whether your pranks land unanimously or not, who the fuck is anyone to tell you what to do?
We are either ride or die or not.
Dictating rules on each other makes us equally as bad as consuming our culture.
If you ever get to return to the UK, need cheap, safe transport, my London black cab is your wagon.
Not free, though.
I'm not that much of a bag.
It's a bag.
Regards coconut cabby.
Wait, you're a British cab driver?
No, I spend a lot of time there, though, and I have local friends.
But you have a black hack?
You have a license to be a cabby in London?
I do, yes.
That's a very difficult license to get.
Well, I traveled abroad.
I'm kind of a military brat.
You're welcome for my service.
I'm just kidding.
My dad would say.
And yes, anytime that you're in jolly old, get your ride.
Like this.
Step, stop.
It's like that question.
Shut up.
FYI, I did talk to Ron Coleman about your SPL lawsuit.
Sorry.
Hey, Gavin Fagg, FYI, I did talk to Ron Coleman about your lawsuit with SPLC, and obviously he verified that it is still sitting on the judge's desk.
I wanted to remind your viewers that they can reach most people on the right on Getter pretty easily.
Taylor.
P.S. I thought the prank was fantastic, but that's because I work with many other big fans of yours who are dumb as shit and fell for it when you fired Ryan.
So this was even more hilarious.
Dude, people fell for it when I invented a helmet that cuts your hair.
Remember that one?
Yes, episode, oh my gosh, I think that was season two, episode 132.
Again, folks at home, he's not a parody of you.
He's a parody of just one of you.
Yeah.
I had, my cousin asked me about it.
My neighbors asked me about it.
My neighbor, he's moved now to Florida, but he was in finance.
He had a $5 million home.
He paid $100,000 a year in property tax, which is why he moved to Florida.
But I had hair that was pretty long.
I put on a motorcycle helmet.
I started going, ah!
Then I took it off.
I went to the barber.
I got a haircut.
I came back.
I went, ah, ah.
And it was easy to match up because when you're shaking your head around, is that how we did it?
Or did I go out of frame?
Let me see.
You wouldn't know.
Ryan did it.
But yeah, they go, that's cool.
It did a good job.
Did it hurt?
So youth believe that I have a helmet on that has clippers on the inside and they do a perfect job of cutting your hair, though it does hurt.
I think it'd be fun to try to guess what the next one's going to be.
It seems super obvious to me that it was nonsense, and even if it was the worst case scenario, I don't know you, so it was more of a sucks to be you.
Female cops, the French remix.
Oh, this guy just shows as a chick with a huge ass.
Female cops have great asses.
This is weird.
Okay, thanks, buddy.
The run that, this is one of the weirdest emails we've ever gotten.
The run that Journey had, the band Journey, from Infinity to Raised on Radio is nearly unparalleled.
Four of the ugliest fucks in show business managed to become absolute superstars making banger after banger after banger.
Then at the peak of their stardom, Steve decided to call it quits.
Well, Steve had his own career.
And he did that.
Good of him gone.
Knowing how made you feel.
You better have alone.
Jing!
But his girlfriend Sherry, oh, Sherry.
But then nothing else.
And then Journey kept saying, can we go back on tour, please?
Everyone loves Don't Stop Believing.
And he's like, no.
So they said, okay, we're going to find the best cover band of Journey and just steal their singer.
And they did, and he's Filipino, barely speaks English, but he can hit those notes.
And they did a successful tour.
And my wife went to see it.
And at the end, the guy doesn't speak English very well.
So as he's leaving the stage, he goes, okay, I hope you're happy.
Not realizing that that means something sucked and you didn't want to do it.
Like, don't tell me to come over and bake you a cake and then you make me do it and the cake explodes and I go, I hope you're happy.
You got your cake.
In my opinion, Steve had the best voice of the 80s.
No doubt in my mind.
He's sending me a letter about a singer in the 80s who he doesn't think was handsome, but was a good singer.
Even if his vocal cords were all fucked off, he could have had them play just a few steps down to make it a hospitable singing environment for him, but no.
That is a gracious, aging rocker.
No cash grabs, no reunion tours, except for that one in 95, but I don't think they tour.
Just his legacy.
Dude, journeys suck.
They're a joke.
How can you like journey?
Actually, journey are so shitty that they're fun.
And you saying don't stop believing at karaoke because it's fun, because they're so corny.
Don't stop believing?
Are you kidding me?
I thought he left because his wife was dying and then died.
Because then he came out with a song afterwards.
So it's not.
Maybe that was the excuse so he could stay in private.
But yeah, that is.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, who's Sherry?
Well, I don't know.
Oh, Dratz.
What?
You know what I did?
I got confused.
Because this episode you have a helmet, but it's 134, and you have the helmet on, but that's not the haircut episode.
Sorry.
Must have gotten mixed up, I guess.
Yeah, Open Arms, Frontiers.
I don't even know those songs.
Open Arms.
So what's he talking about?
Banger after banger after banger.
There's just don't stop believing.
No, they had separate ways.
They had the wheel in the sky keeps on turning.
I've Always Wanted To 00:03:09
Any way you want it, that's the way you need it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
These are good hits.
I mean, come on.
Anyway you want it, that's the way.
Maybe they do like this band.
They're good.
And Steve Perry came out with a smasher called She's Mine on his own.
Okay.
Now that was a coconut smasher.
Oh, so you like the song so much your penis became erect?
Oh.
No.
Alright, let's do the final video.
Wait, can I, sir?
Why did you stop that?
I've always wanted to do that.
The mouth thing.
Can I try it?
Yes.
All right, we could even try it at the same time.
Okay.
We're both doing it?
What?
Are we both doing it or just you?
Oh, let's both do it.
Okay.
I'll even come in tight.
Here we go.
Oh, that's nice.
Alright.
That was awesome.
I just thought I saw a mouse scurry across the studio, but I didn't.
We never have mice.
I kind of wish we had mice.
Yeah, they're cute, huh?
They're fun to shoot.
And if they go in our ear, Ben Cox can write an article about it.
No, but I could bring in my BB gun, and we could just have it around.
It's ping.
Jeez.
I used to hunt in my apartment in Brooklyn.
My wife would go to bed.
My daughter had just been born.
And I would just wait around because the TV was all open.
It was like a loft.
And where the TV was, I could see the kitchen perfectly.
So I just had the TV on, and I would just have my two-pump BB gun just sitting there, and it'd be on my lap.
And I would just see him and then like, or just once.
And man, you killed them every time.
It's not like you would injure them.
They would like fold.
It was fun.
Those days are gone.
Here's a video of some packies cutting hair.
Now, this is a whole compilation I sent you, Brown.
I don't want any of the other ones.
Some of them are really horrible.
I just want you to isolate the very first video.
Okay, the very first video, I think I can do it.
I don't understand what happened here, by the way.
Maybe there was dust in the hair dryer?
Let me see when it ends.
I sent this to you separately, by the way.
Sabotage By The Beastie Buddies 00:01:46
I got it.
Okay, so I'll have to cut it off.
Okay.
Okay.
Almost ready.
Here we go.
And ready, set.
Boom.
We've got action, baby.
Now we're cooking fire.
Hey, man, so I'm going to be cutting your hair.
What we're going to do now is just a little blow dry, get that kind of stuff going.
So, I'm just going to turn this on.
Oh, wait, okay, we got to see that frame by frame.
What the F happened?
It shot out the back?
Wow.
An explosion shot out the back and the front and lit them both on fire.
Boom out the back.
Whole thing explodes.
Ooh, is that like those lithium battery?
No, it's plugged in.
Is it sabotage?
Did someone fill his hairdryer with gas?
If that's sabotage, you did an excellent job.
Sabotage by the beastie buddies.
Beastie buddy?
I don't get that.
Oh, the song.
Look at that.
And then the whole barbershop's on fire.
That's a really cool graphic.
Look at it.
The whole place blew up.
If that is some sort of hit, that guy deserves a Nobel Hit Prize.
Dude, good job of ruining everyone's life.
I feel like we need Chris Angel screaming yeah as it explodes.
All right, folks, that's another Ryanless episode, a meaningless episode.
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