Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Sept. 9, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:58:36

S4E161 - GOD SAVE THE QUEEN

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	A weird change!
	Gilliband from Dublin, Irish sort of a punk noise band, formerly Girl Band.
	And that band's called what?
	Well, that song's called Eight Fivers.
	But what's he saying?
	I spend all my money on sick clothes.
	Sounded like shit clothes.
	Do you have anything in your mouth today?
	No.
	No, I don't.
	You just took something out of your mouth.
	I did.
	Amazing.
	What's going on behind me?
	I'm checking to see.
	First line.
	Shit clothes, I believe it is.
	Gilliband.
	Yes, I said Gilliband.
	Why are you telling me the name of the band?
	You got shit in your mouth.
	No, no.
	When you started the show, you had shit in your mouth.
	And then I say this is Gilliband, and then you go, Gilliband.
	Has it ever occurred to you that you're useless?
	No.
	Yeah, I didn't think so.
	I'm serving other uses.
	I put in my notes, make sure nothing's in Ryan's mouth.
	And there was something in your mouth.
	Amazing.
	I think Ryan's fucking up because he's being answered.
	What are you showing us this for now?
	It's frozen, but I got the lyrics up.
	What?
	So this is...
	So this is a frozen shot of you on Maddie's couch.
	I just had a quick question about what the song was.
	It's not really worth bringing the first one minute of the show to a screeching halt.
	Here we go.
	Shit close.
	Okay.
	Time to move on.
	But are you acting like this because you think you're hot shit because you broke that roof slate?
	Broke the roof slate?
	Yeah, the thing I just filmed the other day where there was that roof slate on the ground.
	You put it on that boil drum, whatever, and you smashed it.
	That's not me.
	It's a guy that looks disgusting.
	I have this.
	I have video of you.
	Where'd you get those jeans?
	Those aren't mine.
	Always showing off your muscles, as usual.
	That's kind of true.
	Yes.
	Yeah, we get it.
	And then...
	I said you couldn't break a roof slate.
	Okay.
	But you didn't break it.
	I didn't do anything.
	You edited this weird as a jump cut here.
	That's not me.
	My hair looks entirely different than that man.
	Well, I guess you had a different hairdo back then.
	I'm going to call him a thing.
	That's a thing.
	What's this now?
	Your phone is going not?
	Well, I can't control people calling me, but it doesn't vibrate.
	Well, I can hear it.
	Well, I'm sorry.
	Turn your phone off during the show.
	Turn it off off?
	Yeah.
	But sometimes we get really important information from our television.
	I don't want to hear it.
	Well, can you at least make sure I don't hear it?
	I have it on silent.
	I mean, that's the most silent I've seen the show again.
	You know what?
	Keep it rolling and we're starting the show again.
	Don't cut.
	Don't cut.
	Oh, my money!
	Check clothes.
	Check those.
	I spent live from New York.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	I'm from Waco.
	I'm from Marco.
	I spent all my money on sick clothes, sick clothes, sick clothes.
	Here's lyrics for the song.
	Oh, great.
	Shit clothes.
	Shit clothes.
	Spent all my money on shit clothes on the noise man from Dublin.
	Nothing in my mouth here.
	Nothing in Ryan's mouth.
	We got him snapping a roof slate.
	Speaking of strange-looking Asian people, is this real?
	Go to 1-3.
	This guy got Asian eyes?
	What?
	What's happening here?
	Asian eyes.
	Watching you.
	Do not get plastic surgery in an attempt to pass as Asian.
	It will not work.
	I feel like I would have heard of this elsewhere, you know?
	Like, remember the gay dude who lived in Korea for a year and wanted to look like that K-pop look?
	And he ends up looking like a weird gay fish woman?
	Yeah.
	So I don't think that's real.
	It's Mike Myers.
	Speaking of fantastic things in the world, I discovered some new sprinkles.
	This chick, random Canadian chick, does small town open mics, Toronto, Kingston, Kitchener, Waterloo.
	And she's got it.
	Now, the audio is not great here, so you may have to watch it more than once.
	But she's just fucking.
	She makes me a little homesick, too.
	She's got this hoser vibe.
	It was December 26th, day after Christmas.
	You guys heard of it, right?
	The first guy that walked in looked exactly like Jesus.
	Just decked out all white.
	He's putting his hair and his beard.
	I'm like, okay, this guy's asking for everything.
	So I was like, happy belated.
	He did not laugh, so thanks.
	She tried to explain it to him.
	I'm like, you'll be like, Jesus, it's Christmas.
	She's like, actually, I'm Jewish.
	I'm like, I know, I read the book.
	I don't know.
	That's enough of that.
	She talks later on about how when she was a bartender, she would just pretend to check ID.
	She'd just look at it, zone out, and hand it back.
	She goes, I'm not doing math.
	I work at a fucking bar.
	But did you hear everything she said?
	Yeah.
	December 26th, happy belated.
	That's great.
	She's good.
	And then you find the sprinkles in the weirdest places.
	Here's a government Twitter account about hiking safety, parks and rec, whatever.
	And it's good.
	Washington State Department of Natural Resources.
	These poor people house Seattle and Tacoma.
	But they're pretty fucking funny.
	Look, I'm begging you all to remember that a Venti PSL isn't adequate hydration on the trail.
	Then show the thread.
	And no, neither are two Venti PSLs.
	Things made mostly from water and are therefore good for hydration takes us down a horrifying path pretty quickly.
	Keep going, though.
	Wait, there's a picture.
	I guess I should have the actual tweets ready, but I was so confident that all their tweets are good.
	Okay, go back to their main thing because now we're looking at all their responses.
	Remember the fantasy football and tsunami evacuation both start with a strong run game.
	For those of us who walked the mile in high school gym class, don't worry, we have you covered.
	You can find tsunami evacuation.
	Tahoma appearing to vent but then saying, no, it's just a cloud.
	I'm fine, is such a classic passive-aggressive Pacific Northwest move.
	Damn.
	Mud debris thing.
	So some of them are serious.
	Keep going.
	Yeah, serious.
	Boring.
	Hascadius abductions.
	That is retarded.
	What the fuck?
	Damn.
	You know who's not witty on Twitter?
	Fucking wing stop.
	I think they got hacked.
	It just says fuck.
	And then the one before it just says wings.
	Wings.
	Wings, fuck.
	Maybe it's Canadian.
	It could be.
	Yeah, fucking wings.
	Fuck.
	And then that chick we had yesterday, people said I should know who she is.
	Her name's Emily Wilson.
	She wants to be on the show.
	Really?
	Yeah, Josh knows her.
	Does she want to be on the show called The Rest of My Life After My Wife Vanishes in a Mysterious Car?
	I have her number.
	Do you want to just give her a shot right now?
	Yeah, okay.
	Give it a shot.
	See, this is what the show's all about, okay?
	We make magic happen.
	Like bounce-chick-a-wow-wow type of magic.
	I spent all my money on shit clothes.
	Martin Brothers.
	Shit clothes.
	Oh, you're wearing a kilt.
	Wow.
	Why?
	This is the first time reaching out, so she might not pick up the phone.
	Strangers don't pick up the phones.
	But then she's like, hi again.
	I missed you.
	And I'm like, oh, we're on the show.
	Hey, I got monkeypox from you.
	Hi, my ass still hurts.
	Can you call back later?
	I'll keep trying.
	Text her.
	But yeah, she's real smart and pretty and I wouldn't say funny.
	But go to that one TikTok.
	By the way.
	Go ahead.
	You know my favorite part about people who talk about their sexuality and who they sleep with and pronouns and all these things?
	It's that you're quite literally admitting immediately that you have no redeeming qualities about yourself.
	And quite literally, there's nothing interesting about you to the point where you actually know that.
	So you have to overcompensate with something that should be completely fucking irrelevant across the board in any given conversation or situation.
	Yeah.
	Am I wrong?
	I've said that a few times.
	Like imagine you, Matt, keep it all heterosexual.
	Let's keep everything heterosexual just for fun today.
	Like Drag Queen Story Hour, strip her story hour.
	We're against sexual story hours.
	Don't worry about the gay part.
	Participating in this activity could result in you and others getting hurt.
	What?
	The activity of you not disclosing your sexual proclivities immediately?
	That could lead to you getting hurt?
	Is that hilarious or what?
	Yeah, that's bizarre.
	Wow.
	So it's like going up to someone and say you only did anal sex.
	You had this paranoia of vaginas.
	You're gay, by the way, if that is you.
	But you just go up to people, hi, my name's Gavin.
	Yeah, only do anal.
	Yeah.
	My wife hates it.
	But, you know, that's the only way I can fuck.
	I guess if you're Blair White's boyfriend, that's kind of what you're saying.
	You only do anal.
	I mean, that's true of all gays.
	And if someone did that, you'd go, you're gross and weird, and I don't want to hear from you anymore.
	Yet that's what the whole gender bullshit trans thing is.
	I have depraved sexual habits.
	Anyway, do you want to get some pizza?
	Here's an interesting phenomenon my friend Big John told me about.
	I was talking about this phenomenon where you read something in the newspaper about your hometown or your favorite band, something you're an expert on, and you go, this is about 88% wrong.
	And he goes, Yeah.
	Well, there's an extension of that, and it's called Gel Man Amnesia, where you read that about your hometown, and then you flip the page and you start reading an article about trans or Trump or anything else, and you forget how incompetent the journalists were when you knew more than them.
	And you go right back to a clean slate and accept all the bullshit that they're telling you.
	And this is especially true in 2022, when media has never been more inept.
	Like with Biden, they go, he created 9 million jobs and unemployment is down to 3.5%, the lowest in 50 years.
	That's just a lie.
	That's propaganda.
	The left-wing media is spreading DNC propaganda.
	Yes, the unemployment rate is 3.5%.
	Trump dragged it down, right, to 3.5%.
	We had the pandemic.
	Unemployment went up, obviously.
	And now people are going back to work.
	It's back down to Trump's record low.
	Similarly, what are you doing with your fucking hair over there?
	Getting it out of my face.
	Look at that.
	Similarly, he created 9 million jobs.
	We lost a ton with the pandemic, and now they're back up to Trump highs.
	So Biden is literally stealing Trump's unemployment and jobs figures and calling them his own.
	And journalists are going, yep, fucking Trumpers.
	They can't even recognize that.
	So go to Gell-Mann Amnesia again.
	It was coined by, I think his name is Michael Crichton.
	He did West World.
	That's why that picture is there.
	Briefly stated, the Gell-Mann amnesia effect is as follows.
	You open the newspaper, an article, some subject you know well.
	In Murray's case, physics, in mind, show business.
	1-1002.
	Can you blow that up a bit?
	That's the guy there with the skull.
	He did Jurassic World, that guy, the guy who came up with this.
	All the Jurassic Park books.
	He kind of invented the idea of like high-tech sci-fi thrillers.
	You read the article and see the journalist has absolutely no understanding of either the facts or the issues.
	Often the article is so wrong, it actually presents the story backwards, reversing cause and effect.
	I call these wet streets cause rain stories.
	Papers full of them.
	In any case, you read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story and then turn the page to national or international affairs and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine and the baloney you just read.
	You turn the page and forget what you know.
	So true.
	And I think a big problem is the way we sort of plow through life now with our minds made up and everything settled.
	The science is settled, right?
	Half the country's insane.
	I'm smart.
	Jon Stewart has accepted Ukraine.
	All Hollywood bigwigs, all the elites have accepted the narrative on Ukraine.
	It's a wonderful place.
	It's mining its own beeswax and the evil Putin, the Russian asshole, shows up and decides to just smite it.
	I don't believe you.
	And by the way, the people you're sending money to are not Nazi-esque like Anthony Coome and Gavin McInnes, but literal Nazis.
	And so I just love this story.
	Oh, God.
	How sick are you of Jon Stewart's t-shirts?
	This blue collar look.
	He's an Upper West Side multi-millionaire Jew bag named Leibowitz.
	Okay, we just had a power shutdown.
	Everything went to blizzack.
	I think we're up now.
	Yeah.
	Was that the FBI?
	I can't remember where I was.
	I was talking about Jon Stewart, his pathetic working-class look.
	And yeah, that guy in the middle.
	Oh, yeah.
	So everyone's behind Ukraine.
	And they go, well, you realize that some of them are Nazis.
	And instead of them going, these are the people who throw the word Nazi around to mean anyone who doesn't have 50 pronouns, anyone who supports Trump.
	They're all Nazis.
	Punch a Nazi means punch a Republican, punch a conservative.
	So they're very, very touchy about the word.
	And then when guys are actually Nazis, like they Zeke Heil, they have swastika tattoos, they go, well, it's complicated.
	In other words, they don't believe any of this shit they're saying.
	Like the whole thing with Libs of TikTok, where she exposed them for offering hysterectomies and vaginoplasty and phalloplasty, basically giving you fake genitals for children under 18.
	And all she did was show the parts of their website that say that.
	The takeaway the media did is they're getting bomb threats.
	So Libs of TikTok and the right go, wait, we never asked for that.
	I tell you what, we are going to offer a $22,000 reward for anyone who can help us find the source of these bomb threats.
	And Libs calls, Libs of TikTok calls all the journalists who were bitching about the bomb threats and goes, make sure in your story, you include the fact that there's a reward now for finding this guy.
	None of them even responded to her because they don't give a fuck about the bomb threats.
	They are Bolsheviks and all Bolsheviks care about is winning.
	That's why there's so much propaganda, so many lies, so much hypocrisy.
	That's why they call you a Nazi.
	But when they meet a Nazi, they literally give him an award if it suits their narrative.
	So this guy is a member of the famous Nazi battalion, Azov.
	And Jon Stewart met him in Disneyland.
	You can scroll down any minute now.
	And there he is with the black son.
	What is he doing in the hospital with a bunch of toys?
	The fuck is that?
	Imagine he can't move and his friends want to make him look like a fag.
	So they just put stuff in him a little bit.
	Yeah, he's like, stop it.
	Get the fucking Mickey Mouse out of my arms.
	And they're all like, ha ha, dusknianska blakilov.
	Yeah, that thing on his elbow Is the Black Sun was made by the SS?
	I forget the name of the particular Nazi officer, but it was meant to replace the swastika or be as important as.
	Funny how they cover that up with a cast.
	Yeah, he's got a cast on that part.
	I'm so fucking over Ukraine seeing Ben Stiller standing next to Zelensky.
	So powerfully gay.
	I wonder how the execs and the shareholders at Disney feel about their company being flushed down the toilet by what is likely a minority of shrill lefties who are wokeifying their whole brand.
	Anyway, that was fun.
	And finally, in What the Fuck News.
	No, there's two more stories here, but this story freaked me out.
	We made an embryo without sperm or egg.
	Now, I think this picture might be deceiving.
	I think the picture you see is of a young human embryo, and they're just using that to illustrate the story.
	But the synthetic embryo they made would look different than that.
	It probably is just a weird little blob.
	By inducing the expression of a particular set of genes and establishing a unique environment for their interactions, the researchers were able to get the stem cells, these are mouse and human stem cells, to talk to each other.
	The stem cells self-organized into structures that progressed through the successive development stages until they had beating hearts and the foundations of the brain, as well as the yolk sac where the embryo develops and gets nutrients from in its first weeks.
	Dude, compare that to that, what was it, a calf embryo?
	I mean, a calf fetus?
	No, a calf womb?
	That thing we made?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, the cows.
	For a preemie calf where it can be in this sort of a bag even shortly after conception, and then they keep it alive that way.
	We're getting damn close to creating things.
	You know, Alex Jones called this a long time ago.
	Alex Jones said that we'd be doing these embryos.
	He said that we're making human-animal hybrids, chimeras.
	What are you wearing, Elvis?
	I'm wearing a kilt and a tank top.
	And what are you wearing on your feet?
	They're croc sandals.
	Well, why don't you switch to camera croc sandals, a kilt with a sporn, and a tank top?
	Like, you know what?
	You're like a fish that got its first wish to become a human, and you don't know what you're doing here on Earth.
	Elvis is more insulted by that than the fat pig years that everyone makes fun of and him dying on the toilet.
	And then last story, before we start the show, this dude.
	This is intense.
	I feel terrible for feeling this, but when I read the story, I went, good.
	So this guy has an affair, or at least he cheats on his wife at least once, where he fucks some perfectly plump, semi-Asian looking woman.
	And the journalist, so that's him on the left with the big eyes.
	He looks like a, he's from Toy Story.
	And then the other dude, the bald dude, looks like a little kid who is a man.
	So you have Tom Hanks in Toy Story and Tom Hanks in big.
	And the dude with the mustache caught this guy boning one of his employees or co-workers, and he made it public.
	And so it's looking a lot like the bald guy killed the journalist for being a snitch.
	So there she is getting...
	That's my cup of tea right there.
	So she's getting out of the car, and she's pulling her skirt back down if you go up a bit.
	No, that's down.
	You see her just getting out there?
	Okay, what are you doing?
	Yep.
	You're bothering me.
	Keep going down.
	Maybe there's some video.
	There's the videos up there.
	Secret radio shows Clark.
	I guess one of the reasons I was like, good, because I don't want journalists reporting on infidelity.
	Even the Bill Clinton thing with Monica Lewinsky, I didn't care.
	This guy's running the free world.
	He wants to put a cigar in a girl's cunt.
	It's between him and his wife.
	I don't know.
	That became international news.
	And it's still what everyone thinks of when they look at Bill Clinton.
	But it's like the Louis C.K. thing, too.
	I don't care if he beats off.
	If it's consensual, I don't care.
	These are two consensual adults fucking up their lives.
	So.
	Come on, honey.
	Get out of the car.
	Car's not shaking much.
	Here we go.
	Getting juicy.
	oh Oh, my.
	So, a snitch got some stitches.
	All right, let's start the show, which means...
	It goes there.
	No, there.
	So it comes this way, right?
	Yes.
	So one of these arrows is misleading.
	Let's start the show!
	Oh, we're going to black again.
	I think we should shorten these interstitials.
	Okay.
	So here, play the LGBTQ one, and then I'll tell you when to stop.
	Ready?
	LGBTQ, first subject of the day.
	All right.
	I got an idea for how to make it work.
	Okay, here we go.
	Why are you?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	Stop it at Trump.
	And it could still be, it comes back to you and it fades out low, like a bed.
	Sure.
	So, you know, researching tranny stuff is like researching kiddie porn stuff.
	It's not fun.
	You don't enjoy it.
	But my job is to do the dirty work for you.
	So I did some dirty work on this whole Kiwi Farms thing.
	Have you heard about this?
	I've heard about it.
	This Canadian trans guy who thinks he's a chick, Kafalls.
	He goes to, leaves Canada, goes to Ireland.
	I don't know how you're allowed to just go to Ireland.
	It's not hard.
	It's not easy to immigrate to these countries.
	But maybe click play.
	Let's see what's going on.
	What's going on with SecOps today?
	I don't know what's going on with Keffels.
	I know a couple of guys that are actually very involved in this.
	Oh, really?
	It's really a Gen X kind of a topic.
	Yeah, but I don't even know much about it.
	So from what I gather, if you look up Kiwi Farms, it's like, oh, here, turn it up.
	I went out into the hallway.
	They told me to put my hands up.
	Honestly, in that moment, I thought I was going to die.
	I screamed like as soon as I saw the gun.
	Clara Sorrenti recounts how online trolls called in a fake emergency sending armed police to her home in Canada, a tactic known as swatting.
	Over the past month, she's been targeted, harassed, and stalked around the globe.
	I'm so exhausted of having to constantly run.
	Sorrenti is a trans activist and streamer on Twitch, a platform hugely popular among video gamers.
	Hello.
	Earlier this year, when Sorrenti began using the platform to talk about trans rights, she caught the attention of Kiwi Farms, a notorious online form that has been used to organize transphobic harassment campaigns.
	The first thing that they did was find the obituary for my dead father and use it to find his memorialized Facebook page.
	They were able to find a picture of my dad on the front porch of my childhood home and from that use Google Maps and figure out where that was located.
	After Sorrenti's home in Ontario was swatted, she moved to a nearby hotel, but her harassers tracked her down there, remarkably using this photo of her cat on her hotel bed.
	They were able to cross-reference what they saw on the bed sheets with every other hotel in the city until they found out that the specific bed sheet only had a pattern in this one hotel.
	Why'd you post the picture of your cat if you're on the lamb?
	Anyway, so you'll notice that speaking of shitty journalists, he just takes her side of it and is just doing PR for her.
	Any half-decent journalist hears about this story and goes, okay, what are the two sides?
	And the two sides are her side, which is, I'm just a Twitcher, I'm just trans.
	I'm just living my life.
	And by the way, sometimes I advocate for young people getting HRT, hormone replacement therapy.
	And there's a bunch of these trannies who think they're being heroic by sneaking kids via the mail HRT against their parents' wishes.
	They seem to be this chick, Kafalls, and then this other dude, what's his name?
	Eli Elric.
	And it's hard to tell who's an advocate and who literally does it.
	And then this other chick, Alejandra, who's a dude.
	And so Kiwi Farm starts out as the evil place that doxes people.
	There's Eli there.
	And then you realize, wait, they're not just randomly doxing trannies.
	That's that Eli dude talking about how he wants to.
	Blow that up.
	Eli deleted the original Instagram post, but it is now bragging that we're helping to advertise the illegal drug running operation, which is confirmation that the conspiracy to commit federal crimes is still ongoing.
	Lots of great evidence, all helpfully provided by Eli personally.
	So Kiwi Farms is not randomly stalking trannies and saying kill them.
	It's saying this asshole is trying to get hormone replacement.
	Incredibly damaging chemicals, by the way.
	Permanently infertile.
	As Matt Walsh points out, these are the drugs they used to use to chemically castrate pedophiles.
	I don't think little kids should have that.
	There was a hashtag D-TransitionKeffels, and it was trending.
	And I know somebody also who is helping get Kiwi Farms back up.
	Yeah, it should be up.
	I want these people monitored.
	They are disproportionately involved in nefarious activities with young people.
	Oh, so you're calling us to be executed.
	You're literally calling for us to be killed.
	You act weird.
	You have Drag Queen Story Hour.
	You talk about sending kids hormones.
	We are suspicious of that.
	We want to monitor you.
	That means we want you to die.
	So unless you can be roaming the countryside doing whatever you want with little kids without being questioned about it, then we want you dead.
	No, that's not how it works.
	I'm sick of this above-the-law shit.
	You know, I was saying this about black people.
	In the past 24 hours, I've gone from seeing BBBs, blacks behaving badly, and going, Jesus fucking Christ, we're living in a society.
	And now I'm jealous.
	I sent you a couple after my notes where I was like, I want to do that.
	Like, if my fries are cold at McDonald's and I get in the car and they're cold, I go, oh, man, that sucks.
	These fries are no good.
	And then I drive home and I don't eat my cold fries.
	I would like to be able to just go back into McDonald's, destroy it, throw straws everywhere, and punch out three of the people that work there, and then drive home with zero risk of bail.
	There was just a thing the other day.
	These four black teenagers were smashing, doing smashing grabs in Yonkers and the Bronx.
	And Yonkers police, Bronx Police, well, Bronx Police are MIPD, chase them all the way up into Westchester.
	Then they jump out of the cart.
	Two of them escape.
	Two of them get caught.
	No bail, no jail.
	And I'm like, I want to do that.
	No bail, no jail in Yonks and the Bronx.
	I want to smash some jewelry stores and get some gold.
	I just want to smash the subscribe.
	I can't even get away with that shit.
	Yeah.
	And I said to my fellow baseball dads, I'm like, how about we do this?
	And he's like, well, we'll get life in prison like January 6th.
	But, like, this bitch with her stupid wig on is really annoying me.
	Imagine you go to jail for cultural appropriation.
	That'd be so piquant.
	Look.
	And then she smashes a wine bottle.
	I've had enough of this bitch.
	She's really getting on my nerves and she's loud.
	I just came here to get gas.
	What do black people get to do?
	Harry?
	What's in the water?
	I mean, you talk about white privilege?
	I think it's pretty privileged-y to just go, well, you shut the fuck up.
	That's like the Louis C.K. bit.
	Shut up, Barbara.
	He said your name is not Barbara.
	He said, if murder was, yeah, but it is Barbara.
	It's spelled A-H-3-X-4-um-lut-sircon-flax.
	But, yeah, he said if murder...
	Illegal, because if it wasn't, we'd be doing it all the time.
	Well, it's not illegal in the hood.
	I think they solve something like 15% of gun crimes.
	Shut up, Janet.
	We just saw shut up, Janet.
	Or go to the other one.
	I want to do this and get away with it.
	Boom.
	Oh, that's one of my fucking.
	This is on my bucket list.
	To go to a Home Depot and take a bunch of hammers in a shopping cart and just go to like the glass area.
	Smash everything.
	Smash all the subscribers.
	Now, this isn't a perfect example what we're talking about because judging by his hands, I think this guy's on the old spectrum.
	Ah.
	Spectrometer is going off.
	He's dressed like Steve Urkel.
	Did I do that?
	You sure did.
	Did I do that?
	Bye-bye.
	Bye-bye.
	Home to mommy.
	Can you just tackle him?
	Oh, shit.
	I don't think you're allowed to put music like this to this.
	This is the monkey song in Jungle Book.
	Oh, really?
	Yes.
	King Louis.
	Your education does come in handy, Sam.
	It sure does.
	Education.
	Yeah.
	All right, I think we're ready for this green screen.
	I have a very weird green screen for you today.
	It's not a video, it's a photograph.
	Look at this photograph.
	Yes, we shall, we will, and we are.
	I mean, you saw green screens coming.
	Who cares?
	One, everybody!
	All right.
	All right.
	I saw this driving around the other day.
	Oh, why am I wearing green?
	That's so stupid.
	Oh, that's why this jacket looks blue.
	Because this jacket's green, that's what I'm wearing right now.
	You must have tweaked it for the green screen.
	Is that why?
	No, it's not why.
	No.
	The colors are just weird.
	Pull up the picture I sent you.
	Okay.
	So this is at a parking lot just north of the Bronx.
	And it doesn't mean anything, right?
	It's the very talented cartoonist.
	He can do faces real good.
	Kind of reminds me of that kangaroo girl chick, remember?
	Jamie, what's his name?
	Remember the punky kind of chick?
	Australian comic?
	Oh, yes.
	Oh, fuck.
	I think the guy who does gorillas ended up doing, what was her name?
	Kangaroo Girl?
	See if you can dig that up.
	But the art has a similar level of talent, which is, I would say, this is the top of your game as far as doing aesthetically pleasing, realistic, cartoony stuff.
	But that's not what I'm talking about.
	Is it Tank Girl?
	Yeah, Tank Girl.
	Pull up Tank Girl for a sec.
	I don't know why.
	I mean, they both have a sort of a Mad Max post-apocalyptic thing here going.
	But what's important about this picture is this represents leftist utopia.
	And sorry about the black guy.
	Yeah, there she is.
	Like a really, it's one of my favorite cartoonists.
	I'm not into Tank Girl per se, but that guy can fucking draw.
	That is the gorilla's guy, I'm pretty sure.
	Looks just like it, yeah.
	Anyway, sorry, go back to the picture.
	So there's a lot of conceits that you have to take for granted when you look at a leftist utopia.
	And let me explain what's happening in their universe.
	Now, obviously, this artist is probably young.
	He's probably like late 20s or something.
	The woman who commissioned this is probably in her 50s, and they both have the same politics.
	So I know this looks like it was done by a young artist, but it was okayed by an old liberal.
	So we're talking about the entire liberal ethos here, right?
	So here are the conceits.
	America society as we have it now is irreparable.
	It's a mess.
	And the worst thing about modern America is it's racist.
	But there's some hope.
	I want to give you hope.
	Don't get depressed.
	We will have a total and utter nuclear superwar.
	Like you have to wear goggles, apparently, in this universe.
	So it's post-apocalyptic.
	And look, this guy's got a tube coming out of his arm.
	So medicine is like science and technology now.
	Like this might be a complete robot arm, and he's diabetic and he has insulin pumped in.
	So, you know, big corporate matrix kind of pharmaceutical companies keep us healthy.
	This little wire to me is the same as getting 50 vaxes and booster shots.
	Trust the science.
	Trust doctors.
	Trust Fauci.
	So they like the idea of you being part cyber.
	Rebirth, it says on his.
	Yeah, rebirth.
	So what has happened here is America has been obliterated.
	Why?
	Society has had to die in order to be reborn because society is racist.
	And I know it's going to suck needing goggles and like needing a bandage on your head and all this shit.
	I know that's going to suck, but we will have achieved unity.
	There'll be a white kid, An Asian girl, an ethnically ambiguous, maybe Latinx, and a black kid.
	All, by the way, partly racially mixed, too.
	They all have a bit of a mochaccino to them.
	And we'll be living in this Mad Max world where we won't have resources.
	Like, it doesn't look like there's any sort of plant life in this world, but we have the most important thing.
	Unity.
	We have diversity.
	All the different races will be able to thrive totally equally in the new America, which is basically like Burning Man.
	And the bizarre thing about that is, first of all, your conceit's insane that all of America, first of all, America's not racist.
	So that's just a dumb lie.
	But secondly, the only way to fix this alleged problem is to obliterate America.
	No, we're not doing that.
	Hey, did you have the LGBT screen behind me when I was doing the LGBT stuff?
	No.
	I'm sorry.
	So what I'm really getting out of this is I'm excited to obliterate America.
	It's just a fact that America's racist.
	And it's a fact that it's good to destroy it.
	But the good news is we will rise like a phoenix from the flames where this non-racist America that has nothing else going for it, by the way, doesn't have air, doesn't have water, you need all kinds of nutrients pumped in from Pfizer.
	You have to wear chest plates to avoid getting shot, I guess, by racist mercenaries that want to go back to the old ways.
	And the craziest thing about this picture is, despite the mistakes about racism and despite the fact that they make diversity the most important thing in the universe, the reason that America must be destroyed, and the best thing about the new rebuilding, is that this is seen as a fun, happy thing.
	Now, I'm sure a simpleton who works for the city just goes, unity, I love it.
	And it's kid-friendly and there's a bunch of different minorities there all getting together.
	Peace and love, man.
	Sounds cool.
	And then their brain shuts off.
	That's the best case scenario, by the way.
	The worst case scenario is that we've sort of not just normalized but beautified the idea of obliterating America.
	You're so racist, you must be destroyed.
	But the good news is racism will be gone when we live in Burning Man.
	No, it's not.
	No, you're not going to do that.
	And no, your utopia wouldn't be a utopia.
	It would be a retarded hell, kind of like South Africa, Zimbabwe.
	This experiment has been tried before.
	The Maoist Revolution, the French Revolution.
	We've seen you try to obliterate what you see as an evil society and replace it with something much better.
	And you always inevitably replace it with something much worse.
	This mural is fucking dark.
	It's macabre.
	It's twisted.
	It's evil.
	And it really shows you the inside of a liberal's brain.
	I think my least favorite thing was the tube in the kid's arm.
	No, it's too late for gays now.
	We're done.
	The green screen wasn't gay.
	The green screen was racism.
	Or at least a segue to racism.
	So let's do racism.
	And I'm going to stop you when it's been too long, just like the gay shit.
	Okay, stopping gay, stopping race.
	On your cue, and we are going to engage now, actually.
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	I had to keep that going.
	Yes.
	You need the drop.
	I need the drop.
	it segues to my first racist segment 2-6 uh where the emblem was Why the man body still right there?
	The man ain't smoking right now.
	Why the damn ambulance?
	Fuck, black bedding.
	Bambalum.
	Hello, black bedding.
	Backbeddy had a child.
	The damn thing gone by.
	This is kind of a new pet peeve of mine, by the way.
	People filming their reactions to something.
	You see it a lot in the black community where it'll be something important and intelligent going on on one half, and then some black woman next to her going.
	I want to do that.
	I was thinking about starting a TikTok because I'm not banned there yet.
	And then just do that and not say anything ever.
	Yeah, I think I'm going to do that.
	Right?
	I'm going to go to TikTok and have all kinds of smart people and great quotes and just have myself next to her going.
	Yeah.
	Or I guess I could record like a thousand reactions in one day and then just stick them to shit I like.
	Look at this one.
	This one's pathetic.
	Today's hero of the day is Macho Man Randy Savage answering the question.
	Dear dude, do you cry?
	Okay, your middle name is Macho.
	That's all he does.
	And then at the end, he's like, wow.
	Couldn't have said it better myself.
	Like, you fucking worth it.
	Go to the end, dude.
	Let's see his reaction.
	Get knocked down, take the standing eight count, get back up, and fight again.
	And you're a single maniac.
	He didn't even say that.
	He didn't even say that.
	My bad.
	Yeah, you know what that's like?
	Remember the viewing party we made fun of here where the two guys watched Star Wars?
	Oh, wow.
	And you're just watching two guys going.
	I still remember that guy's stupid face.
	Found that artist.
	See, that's different, that one.
	Because in that one, it could be bad.
	Apes have taken over the world.
	Well...
	He's older than I thought.
	Oh, he's age.
	China.
	Okay.
	He's from China.
	They probably said, you know, it's possible they said to him, You like doing these dystopian, horrific mad masks?
	Yeah, they gave him the.
	And then they go, Can you make one about diversity?
	And so it could be a perfect storm.
	Absolutely.
	Where their dumb naivete and his cryptic art world ended up, because they don't have any sort of sense of analysis, ended up making a horrific apocalypse thing.
	Like little kids who need goggles to see doesn't make me happy.
	It makes me think of a war zone.
	Food justice.
	Zero hunger.
	Zero hunger.
	Food justice.
	So what have you guys done?
	Trade in some of your metal accoutrements.
	Obliterate your city?
	Look, there's smoke everywhere.
	What's burning?
	Not food.
	Oh, I thought that was a funny Antifa thing.
	Go to 3-7.
	The riots, by the way, remember all that violence?
	You know whose fault that is?
	Is it BLM?
	Is it Antifa?
	It's the racist cops.
	The vigilantes spurred on by Trump were responsible for the violence during the uprising.
	But the cops who beat and arrested people peacefully protesting were responsible for the violence during the uprising.
	It was an uprising, by the way.
	So even when Antifa and BLM destroy the city, it's your fault because you did bad things that made them mad.
	You know who else talks like that?
	spoiled brats.
	Speaking of BLM, I don't know.
	Go to 3-0.
	I almost didn't include this because is this news?
	Some guy stole $10 million from BLM.
	This story is like a week old.
	I didn't put it in because who's surprised?
	I mean, is it even stealing?
	It's like the woman who bought the $4 million mansion with BLM money.
	She goes, you gave me money because you felt guilty.
	That was our deal.
	I never said I was going to do anything about it.
	I never said I was going to make Barteria where everyone could come and there'd be an organic farm and lessons and stuff.
	I just said, give me money.
	And you did.
	How do you steal $10 million from something that has no direction?
	He has a black life.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he matters.
	And then another complete duh is 3-1.
	This woman, she was, what, what was she playing?
	A volleyball.
	Come on, Negro.
	Get that ball, nigger.
	Get it.
	Boss Hogg is at Duke running the woman's volleyball.
	Initially made the allegation that her goddaughter was called the N-word despite not being at the game.
	She's running for office in Fort Worth and has a history of racist tweets.
	Yeah.
	Racism is strongly encouraged in the black community, even by whites.
	And in whites, even the smell of it is unacceptable.
	You see this 3-2, gymnastics is white supremacy.
	Here's a stretch.
	play back really a lot Good for him.
	Let me tell y'all the like white supremacy and playback really allows a child to feel so protected and safe that they can do quite remarkable shit like this.
	So just to be clear here, the reason blacks can't do that is racism.
	Yeah, gravity is racist.
	Because I guess when they're up, high up, someone's going to shoot at them like target practice, like clay pigeons?
	What?
	So physics, or is it physics?
	Is physics racist?
	Physics allows whites to do.
	You know how many people can do what that kid just did?
	Probably about 13 in the world out of 8 billion, 7.8 billion.
	It's not all about race.
	We got a letter from a baby monster, by the way, who said the Drew Barrymore thing was they assumed she was backpacking, glomming onto this trend that's going on with black men frolicking.
	So he goes, this is the explanation.
	It's just as retarded as what you said, but this is basically what it is.
	Look up frolicking?
	How's that not?
	White supremacy thing.
	Yeah.
	He's not.
	He doesn't feel safe.
	I guess.
	I don't know why he feels so safe to do that.
	That is pretty impressive.
	Harley Mornstein was on the show, PK, and he was like, yeah, we were all 15 years old, and we had a black friend who just did standing black backflips.
	Yeah.
	And we're like, what the fuck?
	My nine-year-old son, my nine-year-old son, my nine-year-old's best friend is black.
	And I'm constantly, let's call him Larry.
	I'm like, Larry, Larry, don't do that.
	I don't like it when he does it.
	He'll do it on cement.
	He'll do it on the sidewalk.
	He's nine.
	I'm like, we can talk if you're near grass, but he just flips frontwards, backwards, ni problems, pal.
	That's a good way to learn it there at the beach with that incline there.
	Yeah.
	He's 336 pounds.
	When we were in high school, we tried to do backflips for years.
	And we could do them if two guys held each other's wrists like this.
	Yeah.
	And that's on your lower back.
	So when you go to do the flip, they can sort of help scoop you a bit.
	Right.
	That we could do.
	But we never got to this part.
	We couldn't.
	And we tried for every lunch hour for hours and hours and hours.
	I remember David Cho was in Africa, and he said they had taken a wheel, like a truck wheel, and they had dug it into the dirt and piled the dirt on so only half of the wheel was showing.
	And these little black, like six-year-olds were running up to it, kicking at it, and doing flips off it.
	That was their fun.
	And David just goes, they're different than us.
	Damn, they're very different.
	They can also read really fast.
	Here's a clip at an African talent show where this guy.
	Well, I've seen speed readers before, and they can do sometimes like a page a minute, but this guy can do a book in five seconds.
	Oh, sorry, that's 2-8.
	Do it.
	Oh, we.
	We should have shown the frolickers.
	I think the frolickers, the frolicking black guys, were kidding, too.
	He's got a vesta.
	I'm the fastest reader in the world.
	How did you come about that conclusion?
	I read a 1679 pages book within two seconds.
	Wow.
	You did what?
	Wow, yes.
	I finished.
	It will shock you to know that I finished reading 1,679 pages book in two seconds.
	That's pretty.
	Yes, two seconds.
	Two seconds.
	I've never seen a thousand word book.
	I mean, a thousand page book.
	I guess in the live, I mean, a thousand pages, that's a fucking gigantic encyclopedia.
	How much did you retain, sir, in those two seconds?
	Fastest reader in the world.
	Ready?
	Yes.
	Let's do it.
	Go.
	laughs
	Done.
	Which was fast, so you didn't know.
	What just happened, Nana?
	What?
	What was what?
	Imagine he's like, please tell me you're timing that.
	Oh, I'm too smart.
	My brain hurts.
	I can do that.
	You could do that, Jesse?
	As a black man, yes.
	You could read 1,276 pages in two seconds.
	And give me a piece of literature.
	Yeah, that's the problem with a Puerto Rican's office.
	There's no books.
	Yeah, look at this.
	It's like a little book.
	Done.
	That was only, I think, six pages.
	But what did you retain?
	I can tell you all of it.
	This one says, wisdom from your favorite neighbors.
	I remembered that.
	This one says, we remember.
	You make each day special just by you being you, Commissioner Rogers.
	It does say that.
	That checks out.
	All right, let's see if this guy checks out.
	What's this?
	What is this now?
	Not to us.
	What did you just do?
	It's because I'm fast.
	What did you learn from the book that you just read?
	Read it out.
	Let me hear you.
	So, spread your.
	You said what?
	I feel dizzy.
	The first one is pretty good.
	It's what?
	So, what does spirit mean?
	Is there anything like spirit baby in this book?
	Because what I'm saying here, the first line does not sound like this.
	So what does that mean?
	Let me see.
	I will bite your ear.
	Don't touch it.
	I will chew your meat.
	Are you crazy?
	I will chew your meat.
	Are you crazy?
	Somara?
	What does this mean?
	I was fast.
	If I had one of your hats, I would have the douchiest outfit in Africa.
	Please let me borrow it.
	I can read fast.
	You read, you don't assimilate.
	You don't understand what you're doing.
	There's somebody in there who listens fast, please.
	What's the point?
	how can you be reading what is not going in you are just Yes.
	So now, what kind of talent is this?
	Judge yourself.
	I saw someone do it on the internet.
	I say, okay, this will be nice.
	I feel you and that person is stupid.
	That's great.
	What a meeting.
	Wouldn't it be funny if we played that back in slow motion and we heard in 1876 there was a large coup in Rwanda, what was then called Incanto.
	The Zulu tribe invaded.
	I could actually do that in Premiere, I think, real quick.
	World's fastest reader, a thousand pages.
	This is...
	Oh, he was basing on this.
	Oh, he was basing on this.
	I like how I just struggled with, oh, that's a hard one.
	I did that.
	I missed a photo caption.
	It's a poor book.
	That one looks funny, too.
	So this is what happened.
	The black guy saw that scam, and he went, I want to do a scam.
	Yeah.
	And he didn't think anyone would check up on it.
	But did he say, I saw someone do this, I thought it would be good.
	Yeah.
	That's what made me feel endeared towards him.
	Is that a phrase?
	Very endearing.
	Here's a long thing.
	We won't do the whole thing, but these...
	Like Alexandria Orquezer-Cortez.
	She thinks she's some sort of person of color.
	Sorry, you're white.
	You grew up in upstate New York.
	You're not Jenny from the block.
	And even Jenny from the block is white.
	What is Spanish?
	As Milo points out, it's a European language.
	So, no.
	You're not black.
	In fact, as I've pointed out on the show many times, the only non-white people here as far as like enduring some sort Of racial pain where they have an argument is poor American blacks who have been here for generations.
	So less than 10% of the population.
	And even within when we isolate that problem, you guys have a lot of culpability here.
	You've done a lot of shit to your own life, and you've been given a lot of favors and a lot of breaks.
	So I'm not that sympathetic.
	But all of these other people, Lebanese, Armenians, rich Dominicans, some fucking aristocrat from Mexico who had a nanny wiping his ass his whole life, all of these rich kids are petrified of the fact that they're white.
	So anyway, they did a DNA test and they just found out they're 100% that bitch.
	But go back to the beginning and you can see all of their biggest fears.
	This girl ends up being 88% white.
	All of their biggest fears are their DNA being European.
	Meanwhile, Chris Rock said, no one wants to be black.
	Everyone loves being white.
	No one would trade places with me and I'm rich.
	Oh my gosh.
	I am 88.7% European.
	Their conclusion, by the way, when they all find out they're white is to go.
	It doesn't matter.
	I'm Puerto Rican.
	I really hope that I get full 100% Mexican.
	100% Mexican.
	If I don't get 100% Mexican, I'm going to be sad.
	I don't know a lot about my family past my grandparents, and I kind of like it that way.
	I feel like I know it's going to be español tio.
	What if you find out you were like a queen in like in your ancestry?
	I wouldn't be surprised.
	I'm from the DR and Sri Lanka.
	So like there's some black in there, but my mom's last name is very white.
	So something weird probably happened there.
	I hope that I'm Babboni's cousin.
	Imagine?
	I want to know like how much like indigenous I have.
	That's like remember our TV guy, our internet guy?
	No our security guy or ADT guy?
	who goes, Like two or three percent?
	And he goes, I wish it was more.
	Why?
	Think you'd be good at throwing tomahawks or something?
	What the fuck do you think?
	You'll be more in touch with nature?
	That's open D's.
	Meanwhile, like the super white Appalachian guys and a lot of like rednecks are like, they're proud of being like a part, you know, like Cherokee or something.
	But every American is obsessed with it.
	Yeah.
	Every time they find out they're more than like 2%, they get braids and fucking feather tattoos.
	It's embarrassing.
	Anyway, I don't know how much more you can take of this.
	Go a little bit forward.
	Mom is from the Dominican Republic.
	Mom is from Dominican Republic.
	Yeah, the black girl finds out she's 10% white and she goes, okay, that's about the most I can tolerate.
	The comments are going to be like, she's not even.
	She's not a microphone.
	You might want to soften that T. Latina.
	Anyway, you got it.
	So the reason I open with that is because 2-9...
	An update real quick.
	You have to get back to the end of the day.
	Maybe a little too slow?
	I don't know what you said.
	The first ones.
	Yeah, I can't.
	No.
	I did not.
	So we have a new PM in Britain.
	I think it's temporary, right?
	Because Boris Johnson stepped down.
	So it doesn't really count.
	But she's decided to do as much damage as she possibly can while she's there.
	And she's bragging that for the first time ever, no white men are in the top brass of the British government.
	Liz Truss.
	Come out of here.
	Liz Truss puts finishing touches on diverse new government, no place for white men and great offices of state as PM in waiting rewards allies and acts as Rishi Sunak and his supporters.
	I guess that guy was too white.
	But the funny part about this is they're all white blacks.
	For example, Kwasi Kwarteng, who is now the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
	What's that?
	Quenteg was born in the London borough of Waltham Forest, the only child of Alfred Quarteg and Charlotte Boatly, who had emigrated from Ghana as students.
	They were academics, and his mother became a barrister, and his father is an economist with the Commonwealth Secretariat.
	Increase the energy efficiency of their homes.
	Oh, he said homes.
	Talking about a four-day week.
	Now, a four-day week working week sounds great, but it has to be paid for.
	And if you add up all the sum of their policies, you get to a huge pull of money, $1.2 trillion, which is the same thing.
	Doesn't make the whitest thing I've ever heard of.
	He makes Milo sound like Tommy Robinson.
	After starting school at State Primary School, Quarting attended Colette Court, an independent preparatory school in London, where he won the Harrow History Prize in 1988.
	Kwatang then went to Eton College.
	Guess, remember Eton in Withnail and I?
	Monko Monty goes, what school did you go to?
	And Withnail goes, he went to the other one, Monty.
	And Monty goes, oh, Eton.
	Where he was.
	I'm preparing myself to forgive you.
	Where he was a king scholar and was awarded the prestigious Newcastle Scholarship Prize.
	Oh, how quaint.
	Finally, some black representation at 10 Downing Street.
	We also have, following our African aristocrat, we have Miss Suella Braverman, who is not aging very well.
	She looks like a mountain chocolate cake.
	I will put my name into the ring.
	I love this country.
	My parents came here with absolutely nothing, and it was Britain that gave them hope, security, and opportunity in this country.
	Aristocracy.
	So, Braver Woman was born in Greater London, grew up in Wembley.
	She attended the Oxenden Minor...
	Mena Primary...
	No, Oxen...
	The school she went to is called the Uxendon Manor Primary School in Brent and the fee-paying Heathfield School, Pinna, meaning a private school, on a partial scholarship, after which she read law at Queen's College, Cambridge.
	During her undergraduate studies, she was presented the president of the Cambridge University Conservative Association.
	Oh, how quaint.
	And then finally, of course, we have James Cleverly.
	James was privately educated at Riverson School and Carfai School, both in Lee and London.
	So all of these affirmative action hires are aristocrats who went to private schools in London.
	We want to make sure.
	No, the cost of money on tangible assets is always cheaper than intangibles.
	You know that.
	So just like that dumb poster that was my green screen, I've said this a hundred times.
	The thing that bothers me is that the assumption is we were excluding blacks.
	And I think if there was any exclusion, it was lower classes.
	You still will not hear a Tommy Robinson accent.
	Well, you're doing, yeah, I'm Minister of the Interior, innit?
	Yeah, I'll deal with like foreign affairs and, you know, economy.
	It says Ministry of the Interior, but I'm doing a lot of things abroad, you know.
	I went down to Spain the other week with the lads.
	That was for a soccer match, a football match.
	But, yeah, I'm doing a lot.
	I'm doing a lot.
	I've got some Stone Mountain on, and I'm fucking 10 downing.
	I'm with the new PM and everything.
	There's an argument for classism.
	I think the classism of the British government might be justified.
	That's a whole other ball of wax.
	But this notion that they were like, I'm sorry, there's no Negroes allowed near the PM, they just have white blacks.
	That shouldn't count.
	You probably wouldn't take them to be black people.
	You might not look black, but you got the black blood into you.
	She fucked a black guy and she thinks he's black?
	She did a transfusion.
	She injected African-American menstrual blood into her anus.
	Hi, I'm the first woman to inject black woman's menstrual blood into my anus.
	Hi.
	I ain't no fan of Negroes.
	But I know by birth for a nickname.
	I've lived here all my life.
	I own my job that I had worked at.
	She looks like an albino gorilla.
	The one that's on the cover of the Basement Jacks album.
	Now I gotta look that up.
	Where's your head at head at?
	Where's your head at?
	Where's your head at?
	Drop it.
	Oh, holy shit.
	Do you remember that Harry Potter thing we opened the show with?
	Oh, there it is, by the way.
	I met him.
	Who?
	The monkey?
	Yeah.
	No.
	Gorilla.
	Yep.
	It was at a zoo in Barcelona, Spain.
	And everyone was taking pictures.
	He died of old age soon after, but this was in, like, 92.
	And he was posing for pictures like...
	Sorry.
	He was posing for pictures like...
	Yeah, I don't know if you remember this, but speaking of that type of music, this guy is white, American, but he made one of the best London-sounding things.
	We opened a show with this once.
	Welcome to Hogwarts.
	Welcome to Hogwarts.
	This is cringe, man.
	opened the show with us and you loved it.
	With the boom, boom, buckas.
	Yeah, that's great.
	So we opened the show with that?
	Yeah.
	So why are you showing it again?
	Because I just thought we could remember that because it sounds British.
	I just thought we could remember that.
	Oh, because that's the guy I collaborated with.
	I was like, where do you know him from?
	Because we featured stuff.
	Okay.
	Kumkum.
	Here's how you deal with racist allegations.
	3-3.
	This is how it's done, folks.
	BLM or LGBTQ?
	Oh, neither.
	Neither.
	Racious ants?
	Homophobic?
	I mean, like, sorta.
	Like, it depends on who you ask.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	Yeah, bye.
	Bye-bye.
	And also, no mask, faggot.
	Neither.
	Racious ants?
	Can I hang out?
	This is the first time I wanted to hang out with a 12-year-old.
	Can you just make him hang out with our future kids?
	Our kids?
	He's probably my son's age.
	Yeah.
	Like, dude, this is what you got to do, man.
	Here's a weird quote.
	So we had this lunatic who went around shooting people in Memphis.
	One of the weirder takes on it is I couldn't understand him.
	Have you seen the footage of this guy?
	I saw one clip.
	It was very disturbing.
	He goes into an auto parts store, but I've always said it is really strange that an American citizen who was born and raised here and speaks no other language has an accent that is so different that I can't understand it.
	And that accent is not just in Memphis.
	It's in Seattle and it's everywhere else.
	Like you really have separated yourself from the mainstream culture.
	And then you say, well, what about Scotland?
	Glaswegians, people in London can't understand Glasgow.
	Yeah, that comes from thousands of years of isolation.
	We're not that old.
	We're 250 years old.
	And one group has developed a culture that is so isolated that it's unintelligible.
	See if you can find the video, NSFW, of him going to shoot the people.
	What were you looking up?
	Glaswegian accent.
	We could watch this in the meantime.
	No, Ryan, you're fucking up the show.
	Do not look up Glaswegian accents.
	So instead of that, we will have nothing while I look for it.
	So Ezekiel Kelly is his name.
	The other guy's name was Cleotha Pookie Abstin.
	Pookie's a nickname.
	But already, Ezekiel and Cleotha, I guess Ezekiel is kind of a Religious name, but Cleotha, you're clearly not part of American society.
	You're clearly purposely separating yourself from the rest of us.
	And that's why they say, you know, on resumes, black resumes don't do as well as white resumes.
	Well, no.
	Michelle Jackson does just as good as Gavin McInnes on resumes.
	Laquatia, Demantre Kochon, doesn't do well because we see a pattern with these names.
	They're anti-American, really.
	And this guy's accent is anti-American.
	I caught like maybe a fifth of what he was trying to say.
	Warning, this is a death.
	You're just going to show the assassination?
	I want to see the whole video of him.
	No, Ryan, this is just the death.
	You're just going to see a guy walk into a store and shoot someone.
	I want to see the whole video that's going around is him in his car going, this is for real.
	I'm going to do this.
	It's like Bay Stickman told me.
	He goes, I was in prison once with these black dudes that were so black you couldn't understand them.
	The pride gad too high.
	Okay, we're running out of time here.
	yeah that's it Wag your mouth.
	They know for real.
	Wagging shit, wagging shit, wagging shit.
	What you gonna box?
	Okay, damn.
	Green light.
	Green light red.
	No faking.
	No faking this shit.
	They don't look...
	NSFW coming up.
	So you can look it up on your own, but there's a bunch of videos of him talking to the camera about how he's the real deal nigga.
	And it's a bizarre language.
	I agree.
	He's a real deal nigga.
	Can we find more of him talking, please?
	it might even be in 3-4.
	There he is.
	There he is.
	What a demon.
	Bless you.
	I saw it in a bunch of tweets.
	But anyway, he got out like in a year early on a three-year sentence.
	And the mayor said, if he had done his time, we'd still have four more citizens here.
	I'm not sure I'm with your logic there, buddy.
	Because the other guy, Cleotha Abstin, who kidnapped and murdered that jogger at 4.30 in the morning last week, he had done time for kidnapping before.
	And on Tucker Carlson's show, they said Tucker goes, he didn't even finish his sentence.
	He was let out early.
	His sentence was 22 years.
	He did 20.
	And I agree with you.
	Maybe if he had two more years, that particular girl wouldn't have been kidnapped, but someone else would.
	So I don't have the solution here.
	But the idea that we let these guys out a year early doesn't make any sense.
	Cleotha got...
	Hello?
	Yeah, Cabin?
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	So I'll be ready at 7 tonight, okay?
	Okay, sounds good, babe.
	All right, take care.
	Bye.
	She calls me a lot.
	Usually demanding money.
	Cleotha's 20 years didn't save this jogger.
	So what should we have done?
	Should we give someone who kidnaps someone 40 years?
	Or what should we have done to this kid Ezekiel who got three years?
	Should he have had 20 years?
	Should you just kill, should we bring lynching back?
	Like the idea that the sentences should just be a little bit longer.
	In both cases, it's like 10% longer and everyone would be safe.
	I don't think that's the issue here.
	The issue here is the culture and mental illness and lack of discipline, lack of father, too much welfare.
	There's a lot of problems here.
	I don't think longer sentences are going to help.
	Although, obviously, bail reform is a big part of this.
	And then we'll just end it with a sobering statistic on how many whites have been killed by blacks.
	I think it's about a quarter million in the past few decades.
	In just four decades, American blacks killed almost as many whites as were killed in World War II.
	Four times as many whites as were killed in Vietnam.
	So Vietnam was 62,000.
	So 60, 240, 248, a quarter of a million.
	60 times as many whites were killed in 9-11.
	60 times 3,000.
	That's a different number.
	That's 180.
	Right?
	60 times 3,000?
	Yeah.
	Okay, we're all over the map here, but it's a good 200,000 people.
	And yet when you talk to people getting their DNA test, or you make a mural on a wall, it's all about how white people need more diversity and less population.
	All right, I had this listed next to the riots thing I was talking about earlier.
	And I was noticing, obviously January 6th was a mistake, but as far as riots going, Antifa must know somewhere in their heart of hearts that our one riot was way better and more anarchist and more anti-government than any of their stupid smashing the windows at Starbucks.
	That was just a big fuck you to insurance companies and a boon for the glass industry.
	It was not a political move, you losers.
	But this video alone should help the January 6th writers because it's proof that they had a point.
	3.8.
	Like, I honestly believe, shouldn't this be given as evidence in defense of the guys on trial for January 6th?
	Because the assumption was that they're nuts and they were brainwashed by Trump to think that the election was stolen.
	If there's tons of proof that the election was stolen, all of a sudden their temper tantrum is much more justified.
	Now it's not a bunch of people breaking windows and threatening politicians because they were lied to.
	Now it's a bunch of people angry because they were ripped off.
	That's a different crime.
	You know what I mean?
	If you smash up a guy's car because you think he's a lizard person, you should have a harsher sentence than if you smash up a guy's car because he's been terrorizing your daughter and your family.
	I mean, what is a form of self-defense?
	Two minutes and 20 seconds of this.
	Yeah, I gotcha.
	Let me just get these in.
	I wonder what percentage of black women, black and brown women, were involved in this voter fraud election.
	I'm guessing it's disproportionately more than they're represented in the general American population.
	A lot of votes.
	It's two minutes and 20 seconds because that's as long as you can make a Twitter video, to my understanding.
	Oh, really?
	Remember with Dinesh with 2,000 mules, they said, no, you can't pinpoint people that closely.
	And then they're pinpointing people who they say are harassing abortion clinics.
	They're pinpointing them to the decimal place.
	Go back.
	We got to see those.
	Why'd you pull away?
	This is all relevant.
	They always seem to have about 20.
	wow detroit went hard This is how Biden won.
	Look at all these immoral people.
	Notice the amount of looking around that their heads are doing.
	They don't seem to give a shit.
	A couple of them are like looking left and right, like, have you seen this shit?
	Privilege.
	By the way, those people are committing a crime.
	Somebody says, y'all racists need to take a seat.
	Remember this shit?
	It's like, bitch, do you remember this shit?
	Yeah.
	No, it's inept journalists and retarded Facebook chicks cherry-picking evidence to make a point.
	Mass shooters are wildly disproportionately black.
	Everyone knows that.
	But again, we're told that we enjoy white privilege, and these black people are living the lives of, it's like part Sid Vicious, part Uday Hussein.
	They walk into a restaurant, trash it.
	They do smash and grabs in the Bronx.
	And I didn't finish the story.
	So they get chased all the way up to Westchester.
	Two of them escape.
	Oh, I did tell the story, right?
	Two of them were caught.
	No bail, no jail, no nothing.
	Free to go.
	So you see a Rolex you like?
	Smash the glass and take it.
	It's free.
	There's no rules.
	Bouday vicious.
	All right, let's jump to a quick COVID thing.
	I haven't done COVID in a while.
	We're almost ready for the mailbag.
	and i'll tell you when to stop that one too Kudos, jelly neck.
	Did you get Jack Black to say that?
	Kudos, Jelly Neck.
	I don't know who made that.
	I don't know what the F is going on, but it's looking like the vax killed a lot of kids.
	And journalists are lazy.
	They're not good at their job.
	They're too busy chasing racism.
	And you only hear about this shit from like weird outskirts account, a peasants revolt, FDA and the CDC are on notice.
	The casket industry is booming.
	This guy goes, I spoke to the family who owns one of the largest casket manufacturers in North America.
	They supply caskets to huge chains across the U.S. It's horrific to have to report on such a thing, but the owners said that their sales of typical caskets have increased by 20%.
	And since 2021, their sales of small-sized caskets, children's caskets, have increased by 400%.
	He's not the only one talking about it.
	Those in the funeral industry are well aware of the sudden change in the nature of their business.
	This guy is saying, I'm currently at a funeral.
	I've been chatting with the funeral directors.
	They made me aware of the large number of kiddies they're burying within a few months of the kiddie jab.
	They've been told they can't talk about it.
	We've received two bulk orders for sub-five-foot units in less than six months.
	Never in 30-plus years of business have we ever sold child coffins in bulk.
	What the fuck is going on?
	And you're seeing this globally.
	Go to 4-0.
	This is in Tasmania.
	Reasons we want to talk to you is I think your partner said you used to do two to three funerals a week, now you're doing about six to seven.
	Is that correct?
	Yes, we've been that busy.
	Michael, the last little while, even this morning, I didn't know you were coming to town, but this morning I've counted the numbers in the book, you know, for the past six months.
	And exactly, almost exactly, we're up in the last six months by 50%.
	So that's why we've been so busy.
	I was very concerned because on Tuesday of this week, a very, very special school friend who I sat next to for five years, we had his funeral service on Tuesday.
	He was born in 1955.
	I'm seeing lots of people dying that are born in the 60s and beyond.
	So it's not just the elderly.
	And when you feel that something's not quite right, you'll see a death notice.
	We may not be the funeral directors.
	But I think, hang on, that person is normally a Super fit person, and I've had a few instances happen in the last six months where it has been quite startling that they would actually pass away.
	How are they passing away?
	Is it like slow or quick?
	What are they dying of?
	Well, it seems that some are dying in their sleep.
	There's been two or three that are holding.
	Very important.
	hello hello hello That's Sylvia butt dialing me.
	Go ahead.
	There's not necessarily my funeral company, but there's this particular one I was thinking of, the super fit person.
	She died of a brain aneurysm, and I've noticed there's been two or three of those around the northern part of Tasmania.
	So there's something that's not quite right.
	It just doesn't feel right to me.
	And I just can't put my finger on it right now.
	But it seems to have happened very suddenly because you can imagine we need to pre-plan with sort of staffing with our premises.
	And then, so that's, well, first we did America, then we did Tasmania, and then now we have Israel 4-1, where they've also noticed a massive uptick since the vax.
	Where's the journalists?
	Something went wrong.
	Ah, poop.
	Oh, oh, oh.
	Israel officially total mortality numbers released.
	2020 was the year of a once-in-a-century pandemic with no vaccines, but total mortality in 2021 and 2022 is dramatically higher.
	What's killing people en masse?
	Climate change?
	And then you look at the deaths.
	In 2022, 5,000.
	2020, only 4,000.
	So we see this massive uptick in the past two years.
	And it's still going strong into July.
	Total deaths right now is 31,000.
	Last year was 29,000.
	We still got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 months to go.
	So let's be conservative here and say that it ends up being 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
	Another 20,000.
	It's going to be 50,000.
	Make sure you get those numbers right.
	You don't want to fudge up deaths in Israel.
	What are you talking about, Ryan?
	It's a Holocaust joke.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah, 50,000 it's going to be this year.
	20,000 more than last year.
	Something's up, folks.
	Something's up.
	All right.
	Let's lighten things up with a mailbag.
	This one we play full through.
	Yep.
	Classic.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I'm going to put in my password first.
	CarlXM32.
	I'm having a baby.
	Just want to check in on a more positive note.
	I'm having a baby girl.
	Thanks for all the words of encouragement to settle down and have kids.
	I'm beyond excited.
	I can't wait until March to meet my baby girl.
	I cannot tell you how many of these emails I get.
	And people ask me, like, what is your purpose in life?
	What are you doing here?
	And I go, I guess I'm making up for all the hedonism I encouraged in Vice magazine days because I'm getting guys to settle down and put a ring on it because my three children are the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
	And my biggest regret in life, my only regret in life really, is that I didn't make more and make them earlier.
	Look at this.
	This is kind of odd, isn't it?
	I went to a fireworks store and the Itza Girl fireworks are selling way more, considerable amount more, than the Itza Boys.
	Going on, guys.
	A lot of the guys having daughters, me included.
	That's not relevant, Ryan.
	I mean, there's information.
	Two stacks.
	That could be a million things.
	And it could be that.
	I just showed you 10,000.
	10,000 deaths.
	20,000.
	Israel's gone to 51.
	You're showing a palette of some fireworks where one of them seems to have about nine less than the other pile.
	I mean, if you look so retardation.
	Gavin Ryan, this was around the topic of women in movies.
	Drink every time there's a jump cut in this fight scene to Try Not to Die.
	And the movie is Doomsday, Netflix.
	We're not doing that today.
	Okay.
	But I guess there's a lot of shit in that.
	Some of these I have not checked first.
	Actually, you know what?
	Let's stop doing that.
	We're going to go to only checked.
	FYI, I watched both of you guys.
	No one said he would do an interview on your show.
	No, thank you.
	Kevin and Hilo.
	I'm Baby Monster with the bird, which is the bald eagle tat attached.
	Playing bass for Blue Elephant and the Seven Snakes.
	We're a hardcore band from San Diego.
	I want to see if you would give our shit a listen.
	If you like it, feature whatever, blah, blah, blah.
	On a personal notice, I'd like to say thanks for being a beacon of comedy in this retarded-ass world we live in.
	I'm reading Death the Cool, changed my life.
	Consider it to be my initiation into manhood.
	I'm Rye Guy.
	Well, you're a homo.
	Just kidding.
	You're hilarious, and I miss your shred seshes.
	They will be back.
	Okay, that's enough of the proverbial dick sucking, blah, blah, blah.
	How about the literal dick sucking?
	Let's bring that on.
	Sounds good.
	Interesting And sad story: 54-year-old Navy vet that was assigned and deployed in a nuclear sub for nine years died last night from cancer.
	He was a good friend of my wife's.
	Doctors believe it was due to radiation exposure for those years.
	He lived in a sub, like a submarine.
	For 11 or 12 months of seven of the nine years he was a subman.
	So basically, he was underwater for seven years.
	At the time, Congress didn't offer benefits to these people.
	They were called blue water vets.
	It was their opinion that these vets didn't need it because they're just on ships.
	The subs no longer have an exposure problem, but did in the early years.
	He died with a 10-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter.
	Crazy.
	Yeah, that just, that reminds me of cops and the way the government treats men who are willing to die every day for their profession.
	There's really just this distinct lack of respect.
	And it's strange because the braver you are and the more you're willing to put yourself in danger for others, the less respect you get from institutions.
	Why is that?
	Maybe it's because these men are too proud and the squeakest wheel gets the grease.
	So the general attitude is, oh, you're not going to help me out?
	Well, go fuck yourself.
	I don't want your help.
	And they go, good, I just saved some money.
	Hey, wannabe, Andy Kaufman, and chink fuck.
	Why would I be called chink fuck?
	Here's an interesting study in racism at a school where some students passing out white privilege credit cards to other students.
	Reporters have labeled this act as racist.
	So this guy points out that the white privilege cards are made by our own Joel Patrick, who's black.
	And he goes, they're very careful to avoid describing who was handing them out.
	And this baby monster's theory is that it was blacks handing them out to people, to white kids.
	And they don't like that that doesn't fit the narrative, so they just ignore that crucial part of the story.
	Cute baby monster.
	It's the next one.
	It's a funny little video of a girl.
	Hi, baby monster.
	Didn't seem too sure at the end there.
	Replacing whites with black women in classic works of art.
	Oh, I saw this.
	And I mean, this is the pattern here.
	Yeesh.
	And she's really good.
	That eagle's like, fuck.
	Ow.
	That's the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	Whoa.
	That's not.
	This woman's white, by the way.
	And she's like, I want my black children to be proud of their curl.
	That's her.
	Thank God that black woman is standing up.
	Yeah, but just that alone, the Michelangelo recreation with black people, I don't mind that per se.
	But in the context of the culture we're in now, it's tedious.
	White men dominate the space.
	Why is that?
	Because Africa wasn't part of the Renaissance.
	They weren't ignored.
	Okay, do me a favor.
	Stop.
	When was Michelangelo?
	You're so slow.
	I'll just give you a moment.
	Is that 1400s?
	When was Michelangelo?
	When was he?
	Was it 500-something BC?
	After death?
	What you guessed?
	It's 1475.
	I was right the first time.
	So he's the 1500s, right?
	I knew it.
	So go look up African art 1500s.
	So we've seen Michelangelo.
	We've seen that art, right?
	When was the Sistine Chapel painted?
	All of these that look good are actually depictions of Africans in art by white guys.
	Oh, really?
	So can you show me some actual indigenous art from the 1500s that they made?
	No.
	It's just going to be a clay head with two eye holes.
	So that's why you're excluded because there's nothing there.
	Go look up Chinese art from the 1500s.
	And it kind of tears Michelangelo a new ass.
	It'd be like a piece of ivory where they've carved in an enormous battle scene, but it's all one piece.
	And the men are like this big.
	Yeah, that looks pretty good.
	I'm impressed.
	It's got a style to it, too.
	It goes back to the assumptions of this whole show of like they had all this fine art, this realist art, and we were just like, no thanks, no Negroes on my watch.
	Do you know how many aristocrats in Europe would be salivating for high-quality African art that was realist?
	They'd shit themselves.
	They shit themselves for this.
	They had guys raping and pillaging and grabbing all this shit from all over the world.
	They thought it was so pretty.
	And it was.
	Anyway.
	I don't know if it rips Michelangelo.
	If you're doing badly, it's not my fault.
	That might be the title of the show.
	Like, why aren't I in any more folklore?
	Why is the Honeymooners and Lord of the Rings, why is that all about white guys?
	I don't know.
	Go do your thing.
	If it's good, it'll do well.
	No one's holding you back.
	Wait, if Africa was basically Wakanda and they're only Africa because white people, if they're so good at stuff, wouldn't they just recover from that?
	What?
	If Africa was meant to be Wakanda besides white people's intervention, wouldn't they just be Wakanda anyway and just get over that?
	Yeah, look at Hiroshima and Nagasaki today.
	And also they go, you stole our technology.
	How can I steal the idea of a plane?
	Go make a plane.
	Hi, Gav.
	The Indian news about your arrest, you asked, who is this for?
	The answer is nobody.
	Google, YouTube, et cetera, are spammed full of plagiarized news articles from India.
	They use roughly the same headlines as the original, and they get clicks on it.
	I was searching for this information about Trevor Moore's death last year, and all the results were full of Indian, some Indian retail going, Trevor Moore died, buddy, buddy, Oh gosh.
	This is an additional problem to Google and other search engines deleting the internet.
	So not only are they deleting the internet by making sure that only one angle is on the first 15 pages of the Google search results, but then they're also getting spammed to death where we get all these garbage Indian articles also filling up our searches.
	I mean, the internet is weird.
	It's gone backwards.
	I remember in 08, you could look up something like Ryan Katsu Rivera blog, and it would just look up blogs that were talking about Ryan.
	No, not Yahoo, not MSNBC.
	Just what people were saying about someone in blogs.
	I mean, the information was endless.
	This guy's correcting us from yesterday's show, the Irish teacher, sorry, Tuesday's show.
	Irish teacher was not jailed for not using pronouns.
	He was jailed for contempt.
	No, that's not really what happened.
	He didn't use pronouns and then was told he's being investigated and he couldn't come to the school.
	He went to the school anyway because he said that's his job.
	He sat down in his class.
	That was seen as trespassing.
	That was seen as violating a court order.
	That was seen as contempt of court.
	He should be allowed to go to his classroom.
	So this is six of one, half a dozen of the other.
	Yes, technically it was contempt of court.
	You could argue it wasn't because of the pronouns thing, but the pronoun thing is why he wasn't allowed to be in his own classroom.
	It's sort of like the jogger where they go, she shouldn't have been jogging at 4.30 a.m.
	No, you're allowed to be anywhere in America.
	This country should not have no-go zones.
	It does, but it shouldn't.
	Drew Barrymore frolicking explained.
	Yeah, Gavin, they're mad that she was getting involved in the frolicking meme.
	I don't know if that's true.
	Like, I know you're right that that's the outrage, but I don't know if Drew Barrymore was trying to do one of these.
	I think she was just enjoying some rain.
	Hello, I'm Malik.
	What's up, guys?
	I'm Gage.
	So I'm from Rochester, New York originally.
	Now, some things I enjoy doing are opening tons of things here.
	I'm an Eagle Scout, so I've been hiking and doing stuff like that for a while.
	I like skateboarding.
	I love doing stand-up comments.
	Acting and writing.
	We were traveling cross-country, and my buddy Gage, the photographer, he's moving to San Diego, and we were just up in the mountains, and we were taking photos, and I was just kind of in a really good mood because I'd never been on the West Coast before, and I was just kind of excited and I was like, "Hey Gage, could you?" Did you get some pictures of me frolicking kind of like this over here?
	And then he was like, bro, okay.
	Yeah.
	And then he just took some photos of me in the ground.
	What a great story.
	Do you own the book rights to this story?
	A couple ladies care about that.
	I'm pretty indifferent.
	Oh, it's a and ye Malik.
	Not Ashy Malik.
	I wanted to see a stand fucked up again.
	Can you show us some frolicking men here?
	Yeah, I don't think Drew was going for this.
	I got my repeat, sir.
	I'm about to frolick.
	Oh, my God.
	I'm frolicking.
	I got a repeat shirt.
	Someone telling us Samuel Young, please look into him.
	He's an Antifa protester.
	He shot two fellow protesters while he was trying to shoot a Jeep.
	He got 70 days.
	We did talk about this guy.
	Didn't he...
	Yeah, was that Texas?
	Antifa shooter found guilty of attempted manslaughter.
	This was Aurora, Colorado.
	Yeah, no, that's a different one.
	70 days, Max and Johnny get four years.
	By the way, I got the numbers from the super chat.
	And again, Ryan, the super chat on Thursday from now on has to just be bloop, bloop, bloop, like time for a yoke.
	And it is $16,705.
	We've raised $16,705.
	So that means that we'll have probably at least $10,000 each we can just give to those dudes when they get out.
	Nice little cushion.
	Possible sprinkles.
	I think we've discussed this guy before, but I'm fine.
	Put it on.
	My fake Instagram account has been banned, so.
	Wake up!
	Oh my god, baby, please come back!
	Police!
	Officer!
	Paramedics and EMS are on the way.
	Oh my god, I have a 30-year-old male.
	I'm responsive.
	No points.
	You have to breathe.
	Come on.
	I can do CPR.
	Okay, okay, so.
	I need you to tell me what happened.
	We were booking up.
	Come on, I'm not gonna lose you.
	He was fine.
	Everything was fine.
	And then he asked me to sit on his face.
	And then you said, I'm not gonna do that, babe, because I'm kind of scared, and I don't actually want to sit on your face and hurt you.
	No, no, but I did.
	George, but you didn't actually sit on his face.
	You just kind of like hovered there, right?
	No.
	I really sat on his face.
	So you didn't just like hover there?
	You actually sat down.
	Yeah, I sat on his face, full force, full weight, everything.
	Come on, save him!
	Yeah, nothing to do here.
	He's dead.
	EMS, what's his status?
	Hey, Jim, girlfriend actually sat on his face.
	Yeah, nothing I can do.
	Oh boy, guys.
	Ma'am.
	You are a queen.
	So I'm a cop second, but I'm a guy first.
	And that goes against broken.
	Any guy would love to have a woman kill me in my sitting on his face.
	You guys are the fucking worst.
	This is amazing.
	I should be arrested.
	I murdered my soulmate.
	No one's gonna charge you with anything.
	You two are soulmates for sure.
	What the fuck?
	You two are inextricably linked.
	That's my sincere.
	Oh my god.
	Corner was corner.
	She actually sat on his face.
	She didn't even hover.
	I mean, she sat down.
	Is that really what happened?
	Yes, all the way.
	Like his face was a sea.
	You think this is some kind of joke?
	Ma'am, I apologize for these clowns.
	Yes, thank you.
	Oh my god.
	We should be thanking you.
	Oh my god.
	So the death certificate will say death by poo.
	Men are death by poose?
	Yes.
	Hey dudes, check out this Instagram.
	Follow every day.
	I post a story about a black person or multiple black people murdering whites.
	It's insane how many there are and the brutality in each one.
	In one case, a little girl was murdered, had the same name as my daughter.
	Very painful.
	Okay, that sounds like a cheery sight to stay tuned.
	Dear Gavina and Rian, that teat yeating doctor from the Tuesday show was on Jazz Jennings' show.
	Some Irish psycho.
	So you ready?
	I'm excited.
	Yeah, I'm ready.
	Today is Aaron's top surgery.
	And I'm so excited to be able to be there for someone else who is on the cusp of such a life-changing surgery.
	Whoa.
	Like that bitch who ate a blueberry in Wonka's factory.
	Hi again.
	Hello.
	Welcome.
	How are we doing?
	Isn't that brewa salt?
	Yes.
	Did you get any sleep last night?
	Yeah, I slept.
	Fat jazzes.
	Did you have any sleep?
	I did.
	Good.
	Good, good.
	So you'll be cutting your lesbian daughter's tits off today because she grew a beard?
	Like, my body's nervous from the excitement.
	Like, it was a freight fall right to action.
	I'm so excited.
	It's been over three years since I've gotten married.
	Hey, lesbians who want to be men.
	I would say a third of the men I know have tits.
	It's pretty normal, unfortunately.
	I feel like Erin is experiencing it.
	But when you get to be middle-aged, you've got to kind of work out at least three times a week to not have tits.
	And we're going to have you wait in the waiting room, obviously, and then we'll let you know.
	Does she have fake tits, the mom?
	We'll take good care of them.
	You're right.
	We'll be flat.
	That's it.
	All right.
	Come on ahead, Dave.
	Mental illness, mental illness, mental illness abounds.
	I'm excited.
	I mean, he has been waiting for this for as long as I could remember.
	Today has been a long time coming, and he deserves this.
	His friend is going to be in the operating room watching her friend is watching her tits get cut off.
	We're starting.
	You ready?
	Ready?
	We're ready.
	All right.
	Let's get knee.
	Why'd you have to blur that?
	That's a man's chest male.
	I think you're misgendering them, camera guy editor.
	We're talking about with the old wall shape.
	Look at you.
	You remember.
	Yeah, that's right.
	97% of folks who are assigned male at birth have old wall shaped nipples.
	Surgery today will take about two to three hours.
	First step is going to be to design the new nips.
	And so we're going to completely deconstruct Aaron's nipples as they are at the moment in order to make a very natural, crisply defined, masculine face.
	How will you go about doing that naturally?
	I've never seen anything like that.
	Yeah, natural is a strange choice of words.
	Okay, I'm slowly starting to think the Ukraine war is staged.
	As an artillery man of the U.S. Army, this would have been way more detrimental.
	On a second note, look at the way the cameraman keeps making the face for the camera.
	On a third note, if artillery hits you, you would not be filming.
	You'd throw your phone and start running as fast as you could to get away from the absolute mayhem.
	The impact also should have been so loud that the camera's mic would pop.
	I'm calling total bullshit on this video.
	And then again, why would Russians film this proudly knowing 4chan and Reddit could find the location of where they are in minutes?
	Hey, you can play it out while I read the next letter.
	Turn it down a bit.
	I just saw your phone-in vacation update, and I have to say that I found it tone-deaf and disheartening.
	I get that we're not friends.
	I understand that my emails probably irritate you, and I get it.
	So hopefully, this will be my last one after I speak my mind on the subject.
	Sorry in advance.
	It's long.
	You started something huge, something grand.
	You're not just an entertainer.
	He's talking about me.
	You're not just a comedian.
	You're a spiritual leader, a countercultural revolutionary.
	You created a powerful movement, and it's had a shitload of consequences for a lot of people.
	I was in the group, meaning the Proud Boys, when the guys were jailed.
	It was shocking and horrible, scary even.
	I thought, what have I got myself into?
	I was there when you stepped down and the feds infiltrated and tended to subvert the group the next day.
	So the group starts to rise, national notoriety.
	They become symbolic Patsy like so many communist regimes before them did.
	So now Proud Boys are a communist regime.
	They're even brought up in two presidential debates.
	Yes, we're all aware of this.
	My elder daughter's school is talking about Proud Boys and the scourge of white supremacy.
	Now I'm the fucking racist pariah of my own family, and my daughter attempted just what the school teacher taught her, to divorce your racist parents and destroy the family from within.
	She pretty much got the whole family against me for several months.
	It was really easy for her to other me.
	I was in a racist, insurrectious, much-maligned hate group.
	I've been through some horrible and traumatic experiences in my life, but that year of lockdowns was hell for me, and it was mostly because of my year and a half association with the group.
	Fast forward a year, I have a woman waiting to take photos of me on my skating route on three different occasions.
	I guess means skateboarding.
	Another time, the same lady is waiting on the same route on a bike where she just follows behind and trails me and makes small talk for 10 blocks.
	I also see her a few other times elsewhere in town.
	The few proud boys I still talk to, he's not in the club anymore, tell me of similar stories of being documented, their cars photographed.
	We all know that the intelligentsia deep state is petty and their umbrella is vast, especially if you're interesting.
	If anything, they have us all well documented, including all of our chat logs and online group activity.
	Then you have January 6th, and all the guys getting thrown in the gulag for nothing.
	We're all getting nervous.
	Are they coming after us?
	My wife is freaked out.
	She was in the Proud Boy's Wife's Club.
	What have you gotten us into?
	Me?
	He doesn't mean what have I. He means he's asking himself what he got his family into.
	My wife's starting a little paranoid.
	And then there's all these other situations.
	Ray Epps, the Whitner kidnapping, the laptop cover-up.
	They're just going after normal working-class stiffs and locking them up.
	They're clearly not above that.
	Then there's the Mar-a-Lago raid, which added fuel.
	Everyone in this movement that you created, and all the others connected by a shared ideology and activism, are getting worried.
	Then fucking bam, they got Gavin.
	What a major escalation this is.
	Now we're all depressed and on high alert.
	We're legitimately worried for you and your family.
	We're worried for everyone and their family in this moment, and we have been since the beginning.
	And we're worried for our own families.
	We've all found out that no one is safe from this regime, and they go after and survey the fun, smart, and interesting ones first, but they're more willing to go after average war veterans and roofers and plumbers and cancer-ridden old women.
	Salt of the Earth Americans.
	So it's not too far-fetched to be concerned.
	Normal, everyday people who had the courage to put their necks on the line, to be brave and get fired because of your inspiration and guidance, got really freaked out by this stunt.
	May not be our friend, but we still care for you and admire what you've done and the suffering that you and your family have endured as a result.
	It would have been nearly just as devastating if they nabbed, say, James Lindsay or any other significant culture warrior.
	Whether you like it or not, you are more than just an entertainer, and therefore, I believe that you need to be a little more responsible to your followers.
	A lot of those guys are already way too paranoid as it is.
	You really came off as an absolute jerk in that episode, and I feel the need to speak my mind.
	Anyways, just try to keep an open mind about what I said.
	I'll let myself out.
	Let's get to the final video.
	After this short break.
	Gotta get a little quicker with these things, dude.
	outro music
	The blue-eyed girl.
	So, we've never mentioned Queen Elizabeth dying.
	I don't know.
	I didn't like the royal family as a young man.
	Now I've got a lot of respect for it.
	Probably because I hate the people that hate it.
	And Queen Elizabeth, very likable gal.
	But do you really feel sad when someone 96 dies?
	I think you go, you did a good job.
	She was queen for 70 years.
	Holy shit.
	Wonder if she just got the vax.
	A long time ago, I was at a pub in Toronto with my brother.
	And I was wearing Proud Boys clothes, and I was with Proud Boys.
	And I could tell people were angry because Toronto is...
	It really is.
	Like, people, if they think a racist is in the room, they'll literally have a seizure.
	My brother said he saw Faith Goldie was at a restaurant once and someone noticed she was there and they went, a racist is here.
	That woman's a Nazi.
	And then someone who didn't know who Faith Goldie was collapsed and started convulsing.
	That's Toronto.
	So I'm there, I'm there, I'm there.
	And everyone's mad at me.
	And I look back and I see this girl.
	She's sitting by the entrance.
	There's a little booth there by the door to come in.
	And she's like this.
	Doing that thing that they do where they think staring is scary.
	Staring is scary if you're in the Pagans or MS-13 or Hell's Angels and you're sitting there with your colors on going, I'm scared.
	If you're a chick, I'm not scared.
	And so she's staring at me, and she's kind of pretty and stylish too, which makes her even less scary.
	So I was laughing with my brother.
	And I go, isn't it funny how you see a dude staring at you and you go, all right.
	You start positioning yourself, you know, with your back to the wall and getting ready and taking off your glasses and removing your watch and stuff and thinking of things, particular ways you're going to start this fight and how to get out of there and stuff.
	But when you see a woman that wants to kill you, you're just like, and I go, it's not like she has a knife or anything.
	And then this guy eavesdrops and he's mad too.
	And he goes, what do you mean?
	I go, oh, you're having some fun listening to the conversation.
	He goes, how do you know she doesn't have a knife?
	I go, women don't have knives.
	They don't do that.
	Some men have knives, but most people, middle-class white people, don't carry knives.
	And women never carry knives.
	And he goes, you don't know that.
	She could have a knife right now.
	And I'm like, yeah, yeah, she could have a knife.
	She could have a gun.
	And then my brother goes, yeah, anyone could have a knife.
	Dogs have knives.
	A dog could have a knife.
	And the guy fucking snaps and he starts going, dogs don't have knives.
	Dogs don't, pounding the bar so hard, screaming, dogs don't have knives.
	Like the guy had never been in an argument before, I guess, and never been mocked, that our pints are like earthquaking all over the bar.
	And the bartender goes, look, man, I'm sorry.
	I like you guys, but you got to get out of here.
	Like you're causing, your very existence is causing a riot.
	I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're leaving.
	And then we went to some shitty, really ugly, brand new, like, neon lights bar that looked like it was made at Home Depot.
	No flavor or history or culture to it at all.
	And it was mostly what they're called, First Nations up there.
	But here we call them American Indians, natives, and black immigrants, Somalis.
	They, of course, didn't know who we were.
	And then we just ended up hanging out with those guys, doing nose beers, doing beer beers.
	So the racists felt most comfortable with the visible minorities that the liberals who were screaming about dogs having guns had never even met.
	What a cuckoo world we live in.
	Anyway, when I told that story for the very first time, it really caught on.
	And I did it much louder.
	I don't want to disturb our neighbors right now.
	And dogs don't have knives became like a saying.
	And someone even sent me a t-shirt.
	I've actually, I lost track of the t-shirt, but I was watching Kumi's show once, and there he was wearing a t-shirt that said, dogs don't have knives.
	And there was a dog with a knife in its mouth.
	And so it's been a running joke with my brother and I ever since.
	And then I, which is why I just sent him this video.
	Theo, drop the knife.
	Holy shit.
	Drop the knife.
	Buddy.
	Okay, you have to.
	Theyo, drop the knife.
	I could watch that on a loop.
	I could watch that for an hour.
	An hour.
	Anyway, folks, see you in Vegas tomorrow afternoon, 3 p.m.
	We'll be announcing the date any second now.
	I mean, the location.
	And then, oh, my God, so much fun stuff planned in Vegas this weekend with Proud Boys, the Margarita Boys, various compounds, various parties, and then just straight gambling.
	I'll warn you in advance, Monday's show is going to be terrible because I'll be a mere husk of a man.
	And if you're not coming to Vegas, well, have some fun on your own.
	And like I say every Friday, please try to stay off your phone.
	Let's all try to have as little screen time this weekend as possible.
	We want as much home alone, not home alone, hanging out with the kids, hanging out with the wife, hanging out with the girlfriend, hanging out with the buddies, eye-to-eye conversations.
	Talk to people.
	Talk to cab drivers.
	Get off your fucking phone.
	Get away from the video games.
	Stop binging shows.
	Get out there.
	Meet people.
	Experience life.
	The Lord blessed us with this gift called life.
	Don't waste it on a fucking algorithm.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Get my big tent.

▲