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Aug. 12, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:01:47

GOML LIVE #161 - FREE BRITNEY 2!

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Time	Text
	Born to run by Bruce Bingstein.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
	So this is the same problem we had last time we had multiple guests, right?
	Yeah, now it's back.
	We lost audio for a second there, folks.
	I have a feeling we're going to be losing it again, right?
	Possible.
	It's possible.
	Do you have that override thing that caused the last problem?
	We're keeping an eye on it, and the last fix has worked again.
	So that's good.
	So we have consistency, at least.
	I'm dubious.
	So that Silk Sauce read, I think we need to redo.
	Well, how much did we lose of it?
	Good question.
	I think the full thing, let's do the full thing.
	Yeah, I just got it back that it's fixed.
	Okay, got it back then.
	So just to remind you folks that SilkCityHotSauce.com, spelled exactly as you think it is, SilkCityHotsauce.com, is out of the G-Sauce.
	Unfortunately, that's the bad news.
	It sold out in two weeks.
	The good news is we've got five new sauces at SilkCityHotSauce.com, where the promo code Gavin gets you 15% off every order.
	I'll read it backwards now.
	Sauce 5, Maddie's getting a sauce.
	And Silk City Hot Sauce wants to hear your suggestions.
	Sauce 4, Ryan's getting his own sauce.
	Sauce 3 is a deadly sauce called Ghost, where listeners can submit artwork for the ghost sauce made with ghost peppers.
	So we'll leave that open to you to create.
	And then sauce two, it ain't easy to be in G. It's going to be a little sweeter.
	And sauce one, of course, is the G Spot.
	That's the original.
	I guess we're recreating it, right?
	No, no, no.
	G Sauce was the original.
	G Spot's a new one.
	So thank you for supporting SoakCityHotSauce.com.
	Promo code Gavin.
	15% off every order.
	That includes our signature sauces.
	These are all collector's items.
	Let us know what sauce you like best.
	Let's make more of it for you.
	Okay.
	Gavin gets you 15% off every order.
	Promo code Gavin.
	SoakcityHotSauce.com.
	Promo code Gavin.
	Now I feel like we're walking on eggshells, Ryan.
	Because this could go at any moment.
	Did we get the introductions to Maddie and...
	I think we visually got them, but let's make sure we verbally got them.
	We have Maddie Odell.
	In the house.
	Good to see you guys.
	Okay, so I guess I should pull my phone out and have it here for when people text me things are going wrong.
	Because last time this was a problem, we had too many guests and the system got overridden, which is not good.
	The system should be able to handle that.
	And then we got Syl.
	Sylvia's here.
	Do we...
	I had a little bumper because I thought that we would have multiple female guests here, but I think Syl is good enough, obviously.
	But would you want to see what it would be like?
	Yeah, every time we ask Sylvia for her opinion, we're going to go...
	Hey, ladies!
	Did you know that I never did?
	Is this in a foreign country, Israel?
	Here's a dumb question.
	What continent is Israel in?
	Asia.
	Asia, yeah.
	No, it's not in Europe.
	I thought it was Africa.
	It's in the South Bronx.
	You got to hold the microphone up to your mouth a little more.
	South of the border.
	There we go.
	There are Jews in Mexico.
	I know one.
	What a Mexican.
	the USA.
	So I was just in the car with Sylvia, and she told me that my local bartender secretly hates my guts and thinks I'm a Nazi, and the only thing he likes about me is my wallet.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	That hurts.
	Damn.
	So I thought we should give him a call.
	Sure.
	I'm not your bartender.
	I don't.
	Let's see.
	Can you hear that okay?
	Audio still working?
	Can you tell when the audio's out?
	Yeah, I have a visual thing here that I'm going to keep my eye on before I had a notification from our tech guy who's on top of it.
	Sylvia, feel free to chime in.
	What?
	During this call.
	Because he's going to deny it.
	Will he hear her?
	If it's speakerphone and she talks loud enough, then yes.
	Alright.
	Dang it.
	I'm just going to say, dude, you said proud boys are Nazis?
	And the only thing...
	Why would he say it to her knowing I'm about to pick her up?
	What I like about me is my wallet.
	Question mark?
	Let's see what transpires with that.
	You know how this show goes every week, folks?
	We take calls.
	We check the mailbag.
	We have a live chat, which we got to improve the live chat.
	I want the live chat just to be going up this side of the wall the whole show.
	The fact that you have to keep clicking on it and bring it up, that's retarded amateur hour, don't you think, Ryan?
	Yeah.
	So why don't we do that?
	Why isn't it like other super chats where it just appears?
	All of those, all the money from the super chats, I think we've raised like three grand so far, I'm not sure, goes to Max Hare and John Kinsman, who are serving four years for beating up Antifa after they picked a fight.
	They got into a 17-second fight with those fucking rich kid losers here in New York.
	We've tracked down a bunch of them since the fight.
	And they're like, they're people who summer, they're trans people who summer in the Netherlands.
	That's the kind of people they are.
	And they picked a fight by throwing bottles of piss at these two proud boys.
	Proud boys kick the shit out of them.
	Antifa said, we don't want to press charges.
	But the state pressed charges.
	That's a new one.
	I've heard of that with domestic abuse.
	I never heard about that with street fights.
	But they're serving time for that now, so we want them to have a bunch of money when they get out.
	It won't be crazy.
	We don't read $5 super chats out loud, but they appear.
	But the $100 ones, we guarantee they will be read out loud.
	And here's a great shirt that's available on the site now.
	It is.
	What happened in Vegas?
	Question mark.
	I'm kind of impressed, Ryan.
	Thanks, dude.
	Kind of impressed.
	Happy to hear it.
	And yeah, you can get it on the shop tab of the website.
	Yeah, the print came out really good.
	It's a direct-to-garment print.
	It feels like what I wanted it to, which is a souvenir.
	Like you're in Vegas, you get a souvenir, and they're asking a good question of what the fuck happened?
	I love those kind of questions.
	Like the pipe bomb on January 6th.
	Right.
	That got dropped.
	We've got 100 million hours of video of Patriots behaving badly.
	But what about, and there was a, wasn't there a pipe bomb outside the DNC and the GOP headquarters?
	Or what about that weird dude who was smashing windows that day?
	Remember him?
	Ray Epps-looking dude?
	Yeah.
	Who was wearing all black and he had a black umbrella, I think, or maybe not.
	And he was smashing windows of businesses back when everyone was trying to keep it cool.
	Wasn't that on...
	That wasn't Gen 6, was it?
	Remember the guy?
	I feel like there was a guy that was doing that.
	I don't think that was Gen 6.
	That was George Floyd.
	During the George Floyd.
	Look it up.
	Mystery Man smashing windows.
	He had the gait of a cop.
	He walked like a cop.
	He acted like a cop.
	All this shit.
	Their shit's always brand new when they're feds.
	Nothing's broken in.
	That's one thing about Antifa.
	You can tell they're authentic because their clothes are completely shredded.
	The denim has so much human skin in it, it looks like leather.
	You can't smell a photograph, but you almost can with Antifa.
	But with these feds, it's always a brand new Nazi flag with folds in it and brand new cargos.
	Yeah, umbrella man.
	He was a white supremacist trying to...
	Of course, the Washington Post take is that this fed is a Nazi.
	But where were they at?
	Minneapolis.
	No.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Not shallow.
	May 27th protest after George Floyd's death.
	So this might be a point for the left where they have feds trying to spark riots, I guess, to make the left look bad.
	But anyway, whatever happened with him.
	Or I just saw Steve Bannon was saying, hey, Ray Epps, remember when you were suggesting everyone storm the Capitol on January 5th and baked Alaska and everyone was going, Fed, Fed, Fed, Fed, Fed.
	And then we have footage of you whispering into everyone's ear that day?
	Where's your trial?
	Why aren't you in prison?
	Why didn't the FBI storm your fucking compound?
	Very fishy business.
	It's a different America.
	Yeah.
	So the reason everything is free today is that we have sponsors who pay for it.
	But eventually, between half an hour and an hour in, we go behind the scenes.
	And what the fuck?
	Behind the scenes.
	Behind the paywall.
	Behind the paywall.
	This glamorous tabloid background is confusing me.
	And then that's just for people who are willing to pay $10 a month to get unlimited content.
	We do two hours a day, every day.
	At least, that's just me.
	We also provide all kinds of other people, Jim Goad.
	We've got Josh LaCash.
	We've got Soph.
	We've got Atheism is Unstoppable.
	Endless.
	I don't think you should watch all our content.
	I'm the only network that says, don't take it all in.
	You need to have a life.
	Maybe you should take it all in if you're a carpenter and you're working on projects all day and it's just on in the background.
	But to sit down and truly take it in, I don't think you should do much more than my show and maybe some Sunday shows.
	Plus, we jam-pack it with so much footage and other shit that to just have it on the background, it's not radio, this is video.
	You'll notice that with Tucker, when you're looking at your phone, you have to constantly pause and go back because you miss something fundamental.
	Did you know Dave Bracke from Gore?
	He was on Reddit.
	Yeah.
	I opened for Gore with my band Leatherass ButtFuck.
	And I think I seduced, almost seduced, the female in the band.
	She invited me back to the tour bus.
	And as I'm sitting on the tour bus, Dave Bracky comes in and he goes, who the fuck was that shitty opening band?
	Holy shit, they sucked.
	And I'm like, guilty as charged.
	Wow.
	Okay, we're trying to iron out the kinks.
	There's definitely some hurdles we got to get over and trying to get better as a band.
	Work in progress.
	Yeah, we're still trying to get there, trying to get to the gore levels.
	It was a drum machine.
	Our band had a drum machine.
	And then two guitarists and me.
	So the sound guy was often very confused, and it didn't sound great occasionally.
	You know, I come from a punk rock school, and I stand in solidarity with the revolutionaries of the world.
	I'm dedicated to the destruction of the multinational Globo Corporation.
	I'm into bands like MDC, Millions of Dead Cops, you know?
	And that's what I came up on.
	We're not making shit and breaking shit.
	That's what I came up on.
	Bands like Black Flag.
	Okay.
	It's like everything now.
	Dude, you can't be normal with that face on.
	It's just in the fact that when you go to shows.
	You got to say like, we are for total destruction and annihilation.
	You can't talk about like capital gains tax and various hardcore bands are influenced by.
	You know what I remember about those dudes?
	They were calling their families.
	They were getting older.
	When we opened for them, it was probably 1992.
	And they'd been around for a while.
	And you could, these bands, after they've gone through their initial honeymoon phase, when they get back to the hotel or even the tour bus, they're just calling their families going, yeah, we're back.
	It went fine.
	I miss you guys like crazy.
	Fuck am I doing here?
	Touring is a young man's game.
	And I remember I got so wasted back at their hotel.
	I wasn't fucking anyone.
	This happens almost every time I go back to a hotel with a band.
	I just remember a roadie picking me up when I'm blackout drunk, taking me in the hallway and just going, whoosh.
	And I'm thrown out as a drunken buffoon.
	One time with the strokes, I was being thrown out and I still had my tape recorder on.
	And I could hear myself say the most embarrassing drunken shit.
	I was like, hey, what?
	Are you crazy?
	Get your hands off of me.
	Look at me.
	I can't feel my left arm.
	My hair's all blown out.
	That's what it says on the tape.
	I want to hear that so bad.
	Does that exist?
	I mean, it's on a micro cassette somewhere.
	I bet I have it.
	But what had happened was I fell asleep in a weird position, so my left arm was flopping around.
	And the reason I was saying my hair's blown out is because I was probably like sleeping in a weird position.
	I fell asleep on their stage.
	I was sitting there and watching the band.
	I was reporting on it for NME.
	I fell asleep on their stage, but not like way off to the edge, like near Albert Hammond Jr.'s feet.
	So you're watching a band and there's just a guy asleep on the stage.
	That's kind of metal.
	That's kind of various.
	It means the person is too old to be reporting on rock and roll.
	It was not Lester Bangs or the dude in that movie who's super young.
	You know that movie where he's following the band around?
	Almost famous?
	Yeah.
	Again, young man's game.
	Hi.
	Sylvia is looking like a fine piece of ass.
	Will a $500 donation get me any kind of perks with her?
	Perks with the big ass Asian gal in the booth.
	Ryan is not a gal.
	I think the mustache should have made that clear.
	But if you want, are you talking about sexual favors with Sylvia for money?
	That's illegal.
	Yeah, we do not endorse sexual favors for money, sickos.
	We do endorse everything to be free and fun-loving.
	Yep, that's a good attitude.
	When you attach money to it, it kind of takes the pleasure out of it.
	I agree.
	At that point, it's just like, why not just use a sex doll?
	Yeah.
	Like, she doesn't like you.
	You don't like her.
	It's sort of like with prostitutes, they want you to wear a condom on your penis.
	And you're like, that's what I'd do if I had to suck a piece of frozen shit if I lost a bet.
	Which we did do right here on this show.
	We sucked off a piece of frozen shit in the condom.
	So if your penis is to a woman the same as a frozen piece of shit, you guys are not having a sexual exchange.
	Yeah.
	You know, it's almost like going on a trip.
	You're on a train trip, but there needs to be a piece of plexiglass between you at all times.
	We're not really hanging out.
	There's some horny ass viewers today.
	Yeah.
	It blocks everything.
	You know what we do endorse, though?
	We do endorse Shell Shock CBD.
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	Go to shellshockcbd.com.
	We've got to make lower thirds for these URLs.
	Slash Gavin and use codes Gavin or GOML for 10% off your order.
	Be sure to follow them on Instagram.
	And the Instagram account is called at Shell Shock Wellness.
	Have you ever done CBDs?
	Sylvia, do you even know what they are?
	Yeah, of course.
	Have you ever had them?
	Gummies?
	No, it didn't really interest me, not even today.
	There's so many natural things that can keep you happy and flowing.
	Like what?
	Good question.
	The sun, the rain.
	These are natural, though.
	The moon.
	These come from the earth.
	These are natural, but I will agree with Sylvia that they cannot compete with the sun and the rain and the moon.
	No, no, no.
	But once you get over the sun, the rain, and the moon, you're looking for more than just what's the sun?
	Is it a planet?
	It's a star.
	And then the moon, I think, is, is that a planet?
	Is that just a fragment of Earth or something?
	A moon is a moon, I believe, right?
	Right.
	And then the rain, that's just excessive condensation in the sky, I guess.
	It's a very difficult condensation.
	Very much so.
	But besides that, Shell Shock CBD.
	Dude, I've been eating the shit out of these.
	Dude, I wasn't on CBD, but I usually am.
	I've tried this new thing, not getting shit-faced.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Your workout's better in the morning.
	You sleep better.
	And your dreams are more urgent.
	Well, I should say they exist.
	Like, last night, we're being invaded by aliens.
	I put on this Optimus Prime suit with a helmet.
	And then I had these Doc Martin boots with shin pads.
	I was ready to fight the aliens.
	And then my parents fucking went and hid my boots because they didn't want me fighting the aliens.
	That's an effective way.
	And I'm like, where the fuck are my boots?
	And they go, I don't know.
	And I go, I need my boots.
	Get them back here.
	And one was hidden there, one was hidden there.
	So I got them back on.
	And I'm sitting with my gun.
	And one of the aliens, they were in a giant traffic jam of spaceships.
	And we were all like poised to fight.
	And one of them turns around on a loudspeaker.
	He goes, this guy's wearing an Optimus Prime body armor that's made of plastic.
	And I was like, fuck, it is actually plastic.
	That's like a children's toy.
	And he goes, Optimus Prime killed his nephew.
	And you're wearing his gear?
	I was like, I never really watched Transformers.
	Did he kill his nephew?
	I don't know.
	I've never seen a movie.
	Did you look that up when you woke up?
	I didn't look it up.
	No, I don't.
	If fucking Optimus Prime killed his nephew, then either it's in my subconscious.
	So then after that, I was like, yeah, that alien is right.
	Like, if we're going to be fighting here, plastic is not going to cut it.
	So I got plates, and then I have a World War II helmet here in the storage, so I got the helmet on.
	I was like, now we have a bit of a fighting chance.
	Fingers crossed.
	But then I kept dreaming these wonderful non-alcoholic dreams.
	And I think I got a message from God.
	So I contacted Nick Fuentes.
	And while I was asleep and just coming to, I was like, I got to contact him the second I wake up.
	This is crucial.
	But then when I got to work in the morning and started typing it out, I was like, this is fucking very gay and creepy to send to a young man.
	But I thought, maybe God was sending me a message in my dreams, so I'm going to just plow forward with it anyway.
	Did you contact him?
	Yes.
	No.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, wow.
	So here's what I said, and here's what God told me to say in my dreams.
	Are you okay there, Sylvia?
	Yeah, I'm good.
	I think we're getting the.
	You're going to get what?
	I forgot to get her chips.
	God dang it.
	I don't know if we...
	I know we have tortilla chips, right?
	I don't think we have chips.
	You're hungry?
	What is your sort of cycle as far as food goes?
	Because if I'd known that you were an 8.30 eater, I would have had some snacker doodles.
	Anyway, so this is what I sent him.
	I go, Nick, I wrote an article a long time ago called From Charney to Seagal, Sexual Harassment in the Workplace, or something like that.
	I forget what it's called.
	In that article, I was doing these research about these frivolous lawsuits about sexual harassment.
	Dove Charney went through hell.
	Steven Seagal almost went through hell.
	But in both those cases, they said, yeah, fuck you.
	We're not settling.
	Because I talk to a lot of lawyers in LA with actors and stuff.
	And what they do is they just go, here's 40 grand.
	Please fuck off.
	Like the dude from Bones, you know that crime show Bones?
	He's a hunky guy.
	And some girl was like, he jerked off in front of me.
	What these people do is they just go, here's 40 grand.
	I never want to see you again.
	I never did that, but fuck off.
	The way you get rid of that is you have people fight it, and very few do, but Dove and Segal did.
	Anyway, the accusation with Segal was he was sex trafficking.
	He was importing sex slaves, then using them as his personal property.
	And that sounds real bad.
	So you would pay 40 grand to not have that true about you.
	Steven Segal goes, I'm not paying shit.
	Let's go to court.
	Because here's the truth.
	This hot Asian chick Contacts him.
	She goes, I want to be your assistant.
	He's like, That sounds good.
	I'm shooting a reality show in Louisiana.
	You want to come down and work on the show?
	And she's like, Yeah, yeah, but I have no money.
	She's a useless whore.
	She's been on every fucking show.
	She calls herself a lipstick lesbian.
	She's been on a million reality shows, half Vietnamese or something.
	And so he goes, Yeah, come down.
	Okay, I'll pay for your plane ticket.
	Come down here.
	You can start working here.
	So he pays for her plane ticket.
	She comes to Louisiana where he's shooting that show where he's a sheriff.
	And he's like, he thinks he's Mr. Oriental Ninja Guy, right?
	So he's like, on the set, in front of everyone, he goes, would you like to give, I mean, not a Reiki, but want me to give you a fucking Jiguksu massage?
	No, Jesus.
	And she's like, yes.
	So then he starts doing his stupid shit, right?
	You listening, Sylvia?
	Yeah.
	And she's like, whatever.
	Nothing happens.
	And later on, the PA, all the production people, they notice that all she does is Coke.
	So they go, you got to get her out of here, dude.
	I know she's pretty, whatever.
	Get her fucking out of here.
	She's a nightmare.
	So they fire her for being a cokehead.
	She then sues him and says the story is he imports these sex slaves.
	So the sex was the massage.
	And the fact that he paid for her plane ticket means he's human trafficking.
	Oh, Lord.
	So this is what my crazy dream made me say to Nick.
	Dude, watch it.
	They're going to get some 16-year-old, because I know you'd never hire a woman.
	They're going to get some 16-year-old boy who looks 17, maybe with a beard.
	He's going to say, I want to work for America first, man.
	Let's get started.
	I'm really eager to get started.
	You're going to pay for his plane ticket.
	He's going to be alone with you in a room and say you grab his dick or something.
	Oh, jeez.
	It's going to be your word against his.
	The headline is going to be Nick Fuentes, pedophile, and don't fucking use this as a drop.
	Child sex trafficker.
	That'll be the front page.
	You'll be vindicated, obviously, and your vindication won't even make page 63.
	So, and this is going to sound crazy, but I honestly think God put this in my dream to warn Nick.
	I said, don't ever pay for anyone's plane ticket, and don't ever be alone in a room with anyone without cameras.
	Don't trust a fucking soul.
	Trust your mom and your dad, and that's it.
	Don't trust someone that you've been working with at America First for 10 years because there's massive pressure to take you down.
	And I've since learned this FBI agents, one particular woman, totally devoted to destroying him.
	And we've just seen what the FBI does to Trump.
	They've been weaponized.
	So they're looking for not a hole, not for him to like do a bump at a party or like fuck a prostitute.
	They're not looking for that.
	They know they're not going to get that at a Nick.
	They're looking for a place where they can frame him.
	And so I thought of that as a semi-loophole.
	Never be alone with somebody.
	FBI, you can go ahead and cancel that bearded 16-year-old.
	But keep the bacon coming.
	I ordered bacon also.
	Oh, because the FBI gives him bacon as like a payment.
	They pay me bacon.
	What's the deal with Nick?
	Why is he not flying out that 16-year-old?
	Doesn't matter.
	Want the bacon.
	Can you believe Sylvia Jim Gaffigan is here?
	You want to know who's funny?
	I'm here.
	You know my cousin who's Ringo Starr's personal assistant?
	Yeah.
	You know who he was an assistant for before that?
	Who?
	Stephen Seagal.
	Really?
	Whoa.
	Yeah.
	Didn't he get the Ringo Star job by saying, I don't really like the Beatles?
	He's like, I know fuck all about the Beatles.
	And Ringo was like, that's why I'm hiring you.
	Good.
	I'm the best one, by the way.
	Every hardcore Beatles fan.
	Clarence Clemens, the saxophone player from the Beat Street band.
	Yeah.
	And then he went to Steven Seagal and then to Ringo Star.
	Clarence Clemens.
	Did you see us talking about Obama and Spring Scene talking about Clarence Clemens?
	No.
	It's on their stupid fucking podcast that I want the FBI to invade.
	And Obama's like, you had a black man on the stage.
	And people in the audience, New Jersey, they're screaming and yelling.
	And these are the same guys.
	If he was at their local bar, they'd be calling him nigger.
	No way.
	Yeah.
	And the worst part was, the boss was like, yep, that's a thing.
	That's the way the world was.
	Dude, if Clarence Clemens showed up to a fucking clan rally, they'd be like, this guy's pretty cool.
	He's one of the good ones.
	You know who hated Clarence Clemens?
	Zero people on earth.
	He's probably the most loved person to ever be born.
	No one disliked Clarence fucking Clemens.
	What?
	The saxophone player.
	Oh, by the way, that's why I played that Born to Run thing because I was in the car on the way when I went to pick up Sylvia.
	And I was remembering doing a lot of nose beers back in the early aughts after moving to New York.
	I was with my friend Sharky.
	And we would take his beat-up Honda Civic, I think, to strip clubs in Long Island City and Queens.
	Fox's was big back then.
	Circles was a big one, but Fox's was like disgusting Puerto Ricans with long tits, which was my cup of tea back then.
	Circles was more his vibe, and it was Polax.
	And my problem with Russian strippers is...
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, in Greenpoint.
	My problem with Russians is like, you don't know if they're sex slaves.
	They smell like onions.
	Telling you, all Russian strippers I ever came across smell like onions.
	Really?
	I don't know if it's their body odor or they're just fucking rubbing onions over them.
	Fucking all those.
	Like with Puerto Ricans, they're in their element.
	They're from this culture.
	And when I say this culture, I don't mean America.
	I mean like that part of Queens or Brooklyn.
	Like they're from 20 minutes away.
	When someone is from the third world, and I include the Soviet Union and fucking Eastern Europe with that, Russia, I'm like, I don't know how you got here.
	I don't know if you're paying off a debt to some fucking Russian coyote.
	That's depressing to me.
	Now you're a slave.
	Slave.
	Call me politically correct, but sex slavery is not a turn-on to me.
	I used to date a Russian stripper from Brighton Beach.
	She lives on Brighton 4.
	And I would take her from the strip club and keep her for like, you know, she would come voluntarily.
	But then I would get calls from the strip club like, Maddie, you got to bring her back.
	They're calling asking about her.
	Now, that's the million-dollar question.
	Like, how much did they own her?
	Is this McDonald's saying, bring back our top manager?
	Or is this fucking gangsters saying, that's our property, you're overusing it?
	But, yeah, she goes, oh, she goes, oh, I found out about you.
	You're a bandit.
	She used to call me a bandit.
	I was cracking up.
	So then she ended up marrying some Major League Baseball player and having a kid with him.
	Oh, good.
	She obviously got out of it.
	That means she's relatively westernized.
	Oh, by the way, the bartender also casted aspersions on you.
	Clarence.
	Clarence Thomas is a...
	He's a mama.
	Yeah.
	Okay, he responded.
	She's crazy.
	Sylvia's crazy, Sylvia.
	No fucking way.
	You got to pick up the microphone there, Sylvia.
	I'd expect you to know better.
	Now he's mad at me, which is a good tactic if you get caught gossiping.
	You're like, fuck you for thinking that would be true.
	Or my other tactic is, yeah, I did say that.
	You are a fat pig.
	Get in shape.
	You hurt me today.
	She brought up money.
	He cut my pay in half.
	Said it's because he got dropped on social media.
	He's a f- I didn't say that, but.
	And then he said he's a fair guy.
	If you're worth $100, you'll get $100.
	As far as Prowl Boys go, she brought up you're their founder.
	I said, it was good he distanced himself so he didn't have to deal with Jansex, J6 bullshit.
	But what about you said that he said that the Prowboys are anti-Semitic?
	You gotta pick up the mic there, so you need the mic.
	You basically are a white terrorist who promotes hatred and discourse.
	Yeah, can you hear me?
	Yeah, I can hear you.
	Oh, he hung up on you.
	You know if Clarence Clemens went into that bar?
	You know what they call him?
	Jimmy.
	Hey, can you hear me?
	They call him a spook.
	He's also the bartender from Withnail and I. Hello?
	Hello?
	I think he hung up on you.
	They would call Pete Seeger a faggot after he went to the bar.
	Yeah.
	These same people that would go to a Prince concert, they'd be trying to lynch his brother.
	You know, being a Negro.
	You know, James Brown, when he was, he got a hernia.
	And they had him, you know, they put a cape around him and dragged him off stage.
	People in the crowd were yelling, I hope he broke his balls.
	Most of these wiggers, they only pretended like rap so they could entrap the rapper and then beat him like Emmett Till.
	They call Lil Wayne a spade.
	I don't know if you know.
	A lot of folks, they call him a jigaboo.
	So the reason I play that song, though, is I keep meaning to get to this.
	So we're nose beering it up.
	And nose beering it up when you're like 29 and you just moved to New York City.
	Full out.
	And you're going to strip clubs, but like strip clubs in Montreal are great, but they're kind of too great.
	Like it's a very sex-positive town.
	So the girls there are not damaged.
	And they're all naked.
	They're all naked, and it's sex-positive, and they don't have tattoos, and they don't have three kids, and their tits don't hang to their ankles.
	They're French-Canadians.
	They're French Canadians, and it's a French culture.
	So it's like les casual fold.
	Like it's Pigal.
	It's just like, do, do, do, we're out sexy ladies.
	And you're like, ah, this is too nice.
	I need some degradation.
	Then you come to New York and they're like selling you Coke.
	FTB, Bryce Reagan.
	Thanks.
	FTB.
	For the boys.
	Oh, for the boys.
	Nice.
	So I'm loving that.
	I'm happy we moved to New York.
	I wasn't making any money in Montreal.
	After we moved down here, I was making tons of money.
	Nose beers are fucking going crazy.
	And there's one of my favorite sayings from Cormac McCarthy, the guy who did the road.
	He said, there's no joy at the tavern as great as the road there too.
	And the drive over the bridge to Fox's in some shitty part off like the BQE, I forget where it was, but it's like by a graveyard.
	Yeah, that's one of the largest.
	It's right by Maurice Avenue.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Not circles, but Foxes.
	Foxes, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They were close to each other.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That fucking cemetery is huge.
	It goes on forever.
	I think every dead person in the world is there.
	Yeah, but that's Maurice Avenue get off.
	We'd be driving there from like the hipster part of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to go to there, blaring this song, and the breakdown with that one, two, three.
	You got to play this, Ryan.
	Because I was hearing in the car and I was like, this is one of the greatest moments of my life.
	And the strip club was fine.
	That was fun.
	And, you know, the hipster bars we were at before, while we were getting the nose beers, that was fine.
	And that was fun.
	And we were talking to people and everything.
	But the fucking, like, hitting the bridge so hard that the wheels come off.
	And then this song is playing.
	And we're screaming it, holding on to the dash, possibly with nose beers on the dash.
	Dude, what a fucking great time.
	What's the name of the song again?
	Born to Run.
	The opening song, you tard.
	I know that song very well.
	No wonder you ruined the fucking country.
	You can't even remember a song from 42 minutes ago.
	I can tell you who the saxophone player is, though.
	We got the windows down.
	It's kind of cold out.
	The wolves are going out the window like, whoa!
	Here's another thing.
	Because of being alternative from 1988 to 1999, I hadn't really checked out Bruce Pringstein.
	We were like too cool for mainstream rock.
	So he introduced me to all these crazy bands.
	Oh, there's the N-word.
	Like Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen and, you know, popular rock bands.
	The Who.
	I guess I knew about The Who because of the mod thing.
	You know, people go around saying they're called new Springsteen because they wanted to hang him so bad.
	I saw him in Jersey with the same guy.
	He kind of wrecked the show by pointing his bottom to the audience and going like this.
	New.
	As all the women screamed at him.
	Jimmy said he tried to call you.
	Yeah, he did 80 times.
	Oh.
	Okay, we'll get to Jimmy in a sec.
	He's got a couple songs like this, like the record company just gave me a big advance.
	Rosalita.
	Yeah.
	Dude, now he's calling me a hundred times.
	Sylvia, you've opened a Pandora's box.
	Okay, here it is.
	All the anticipation.
	Whoa, look at that.
	It looks like grass.
	He's like, what the fuck?
	There's a lot of fucking people.
	Is that Sanders?
	Oh, hey, I guess you want to hear me play a couple?
	Okay.
	We're going to get to that place.
	We really want to go.
	Anyway, that doesn't do it justice.
	Of course it doesn't do it justice.
	Alright, look.
	He's calling and calling now.
	Sylvia.
	Oh, now he's calling from the bar.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Can you hear that okay?
	Mr. McGinnis.
	Jimmy, I thought we were friends.
	Dude, she's crazy.
	Did you say the Proud Boys are anti-Semitic?
	Am I here?
	Maybe.
	Don't you have to tell me that?
	No, not in New York.
	It's a one-party consent state.
	Okay, well, I don't care if I am.
	That's not what I said.
	What I said was, you had the tag.
	What I said was, it's good for you that you distance yourself.
	She brought up that you were their father.
	And I was like, well, he's not really associated with them anymore.
	And with everything that's going on now, that's probably good for him.
	But you know they're not anti-Semitic, right?
	Come on, there's Proud Boys Israel.
	There's plenty of Jews in every chapter, especially in New York.
	Okay, well, that smacks goes out.
	Well, I have lots of black friends, so I can't be racist.
	Yeah.
	What's the matter with that?
	Look, I don't know anything about them, positive or negative, so I don't judge.
	But do you think that they're anti-Semitic?
	I don't know.
	I really don't know.
	I don't know.
	Come on, man.
	Do you think that they're racist?
	No.
	Okay, so they might hate Jews.
	Well, everybody else does.
	There's Proud Boys Israel.
	What about the chapter in Israel?
	Isn't that a deal-breaker?
	You know a lot more about it than me, so is it?
	But isn't that like, I hate that whole, I have tons of black friends, I'm not racist.
	That sounds like a legitimate defense to me.
	You hate it, but it's legitimate.
	I hate it, but it's legitimate.
	How can you hate black people if you have tons of black friends?
	Surely your hatred doesn't run very deep.
	You can be prejudiced against a group of people, but have certain ones you're like, yeah, he's black, but he's my boy.
	Yeah, but then your hatred doesn't go very deep.
	In fact, it's at an irrelevant level.
	Well, I would hope it doesn't go deep.
	Why are you racist?
	Why am I racist?
	Why is you?
	Why is anybody?
	I don't think anyone is.
	I think the whole thing is a myth.
	I think that...
	That's fun.
	What?
	That's fun with me.
	We can go with that.
	Okay, let's go with that.
	Thanks for coming on the show.
	All right, bro.
	We're in an impasse here, Sylvia.
	He says that you're lying.
	Where would I get these things from?
	How would I know he did it 11 years ago?
	Oh, yeah, we forgot to look in that.
	Whoa, I lost vision there.
	Just so you know, he has no respect for you or your beliefs.
	And when you say you, you mean Maddie and I or just me?
	Professor you.
	You, Maddie.
	You, me?
	Hey, you know what I wanted to cover before we get into like mailbags and stuff?
	Have you seen this shit about Britney Spears that Kevin Federline put out about what a psychotic bitch she is?
	She's nuts.
	I follow her on Instagram.
	Yeah.
	But the least nutty she is is her mothering.
	So he puts up these, By the way, she's been paying his way, you know, buying his weed since he dropped hot ones in her.
	Since he dropped hot ones in her, and he exposed her, quotation marks, for the horrible mother she is.
	And I'm watching these, I'm ready for like, you always wanted to be me, you'll never be a rock star.
	You want to cut out mommy's heart, snip, snip, snip.
	Fuck you, you little faggot.
	You know, like my mother would do when she was drunk.
	And Kevin Federline put out these videos that they all recorded of her being a mom.
	And I'm watching it going, yeah, this is a mom.
	Being a normal mom.
	And I'm also comparing it to my mom.
	And I assume your mom, Maddie.
	She might cross Mary.
	I told you this the time I told her to fuck off.
	No, I said, fuck you.
	And she took a chair at my college and threw it a football field long and said, no, fuck you.
	And it soared for two miles in the air as Asians that were in the extra study room went, oh my.
	I remember one time she was a little bit.
	And it was speaking their language when it fell.
	They were like, wow.
	They're like, my mother's a what?
	My mother was a corporal punishment boy.
	Oh, my God.
	I remember one time she was beating me.
	But I was now 14 and I had the reflexes of fucking Peter Parker.
	So I was just like, blocking everyone.
	And then eventually, after like 300 hits, I just held her wrists.
	And she goes, oh, you're hunting me.
	My mother would hit you and hurt herself hitting you.
	And then she would find something to hit you with.
	So she wouldn't hurt her hand.
	Yeah.
	And the last thing, like, how many times on this show have we sat down and went like, our mothers were fucking horribly abusive.
	It was a nightmare of a childhood.
	Oh, have you.
	It wouldn't even occur to you to say.
	I love her to die.
	Have you told you stories about when they were kids in Scotland and went to school?
	What the teachers would do?
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, yeah.
	They'd wallop you.
	Oh, they'd kill you.
	They had the nine tails, the rulers, everything.
	Yeah.
	And if you moved, it was 10 times worse.
	Shit.
	They got it on the knuckles with a ruler if they were left-handed.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's the devil's work.
	Because, like I said, my mother went to Scotland Street School.
	They made it into a museum now, but they were brutal.
	Brutal.
	So this is supposed to be the worst mom ever, and this is a scandalous example of a mother abusing her bratty fucking spoiled kids.
	You've lost your fucking mind.
	Have you lost your fucking mind?
	I do care, but I'm shocked as fuck with you.
	And I don't know what to do.
	And I'm scared of you because you're weird.
	I'm scared of you because you're weird.
	I'm shocked.
	Her talking to her kids.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	So if her kid did something normal, like he was drawing a picture and it was maybe the devil or something, well then she's a psycho bitch.
	Let's see what he did that made her freaked out by him.
	Going through puberty.
	I don't know what to say, but I do care more than you know.
	But don't be, my little body can't handle all of that.
	It's like sometimes I just don't even know what to say with you.
	I was in shock.
	And I do care.
	No, you don't.
	This is my mother sober as a joke.
	Literally.
	I was in shock in the stair and I looked down at Jamie.
	How are you so cool about that?
	That's a beautiful.
	Your brother being with Bears, big feet, size 13 now?
	Well, he's my brother.
	And all the more.
	Exposed?
	His feet were blood and eyebrows.
	Whoa, he's being punished for something.
	I'm about to tell you what he did.
	But the other brother is like, well, he's my brother.
	I'm standing up for him.
	That's how I go.
	If I'm giving one of my kids shit, the other two are like, right.
	Because if you chimed in, you were next.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I don't want to die.
	So they would just be like, sucks to be you, dude.
	The last thing they do is be like, why are you taking his fucking phone?
	Yeah.
	What are you, stupid?
	You just lost your phone, motherfucker.
	It's like Bender in breakfast cups.
	I got you for two weeks.
	Go for another one.
	You want more?
	You just got another two weeks.
	Usually I'm familiar with the opposite where the other kids are like, I actually tried to stop him, Mom.
	He's my breakfast.
	Yeah.
	Luckily, my kids aren't.
	The pendulum had swung that way either.
	But yeah, there's plenty of snitches out there.
	Mom, I was going to tell you, but.
	He did it actually worse than what you saw.
	Oh, fuck.
	He's a fucking dick, mom.
	We're in a size 13.
	You'll soon see why size 13 is relevant and why it's weird and why this little tiny woman, she's probably five feet tall, is freaked out and is grasping at straws for discipline.
	So she took a phone.
	What's she gonna do?
	Beat him up?
	If you got size 13 feet, you're fucking 6'5.
	Shop in Alaska weather?
	Don't you think that's a little odd?
	No.
	Oh, yeah.
	I think your phone should be gone.
	Okay.
	For a very long time.
	Uh, yeah.
	For not wearing shoes.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	My phone's just gonna be taken away forever.
	Because you know what, Jaden?
	Mom decides to take it away for me not wearing shoes.
	Jaden?
	Uh-huh.
	That's hilarious.
	Jaden obviously thinks she's.
	You want any attention, babies?
	Is that why you're saying these things?
	Well, apparently, I wanted to do that in the first place, but you keep interrupting every sentence I say.
	So what I seem like in my mind.
	What are these kids?
	How are they talking to their mother like that?
	My jaw would be on the floor.
	It would be broken.
	I don't talk to a KFC cashier like that.
	I told you this story where I was listening to Billy Bragg interview in the car, and my dad goes, turn that shite off.
	And I go, hey, I was listening to that.
	He goes, oh, he's an asshole.
	I go, you're an asshole.
	We're in the gravel.
	I'm out standing by the side of the highway.
	Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
	They're back on.
	I got to cross like 60 lanes of highway, walk through four farmers' houses.
	On the QEW.
	On the QEW.
	Eventually end up at a shopping mall, try to figure out the maps for the buses, and get home that fucking way.
	This is pre-Uber.
	These kids have no idea.
	I think we've passed the part where what happened.
	He had no shoes on.
	They're in Alaska.
	It's fucking freezing out.
	Snow is everywhere.
	And this Galoop walks clomps into the store through the snow, stands there with his giant fucking blue feet standing in a store.
	And she's like, what the fuck are you doing?
	You're weird.
	Yeah.
	I have to do some kind of punishment because that's not bad.
	It's not immoral.
	You didn't rape anyone.
	But walking around bare feet in the snow, it's disturbing.
	It makes me think you have a mood.
	And by the way, I've had mental health issues.
	This is Brittany talking, not me.
	And I'm worried about that with you guys.
	I'm worried I passed it on.
	So when you act fucking crazy and walk around with barefoot in Alaska at midnight, and then when my other son is being insubordinate while I'm trying to discuss how weird this is, and now I'm the bitch, he wanted to do a two first.
	No.
	That's what he said.
	The answer is no.
	Yeah.
	You cannot be barefoot in Alaska in the winter.
	You cannot be naked and afraid when we go to 7-Eleven to get slurpees.
	In that age, you should know better.
	And that's what he put out.
	You're not a boy, but you're not yet a man.
	Psychotic mother?
	Yeah, this is an example.
	And it's funny seeing, because he put it out there, and you can tell what class of person someone is, or at least what class they grew up in, by the reactions.
	Because the upper class, middle class people are like, that's fucking insane.
	What a bitch.
	And then everyone below 50 grand a year is like, what?
	This is, they're lucky they got away with this.
	I would have had my tan hided to death.
	It wouldn't have been so much for wearing no shoes.
	It would have been for talking back.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, keep going, because it gets more talky-backy.
	You just care about yourself because you won't let us speak one word and you won't let us speak.
	So what do we have to do?
	I want to hear what you have to say.
	I'm listening.
	Well, I forget because you interrupt me and then I forgot what I'm going to say.
	What a bitch.
	You hear that?
	You don't let me say, you don't let us get one word in.
	Okay, what do you have to say?
	I forgot.
	I'll have none of your cheeks.
	You're a bitch, mom, and you make me forget what I was going to say.
	Anyway, I want to be barefoot at 7-Eleven.
	Kids do not have rights.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	I always say that to my kids.
	It's not a democracy.
	It's a benevolent dictatorship.
	That's how you agree to get it.
	You make it less benevolent every time you open that fucking yap of yours.
	Is that what you're doing?
	No, I don't know how, and I don't want to go to that place.
	And we never agree.
	Wait, what is that?
	I'm going to say.
	Do you want to skate?
	Is that what you're doing?
	No, I don't know how.
	And I didn't want to go to that place.
	And we never agreed to roller skating.
	I mean, ice skating, baby, is easier than roller skating.
	Baby.
	Roller skating is actually harder because the grips on the screen.
	So here she's talking about how he didn't want to try ice skating because he thinks it's too hard.
	And she's like, it's actually not harder than roller skating.
	Roller skating is, one of them is easier.
	She's trying to help him try out a thing that he doesn't want to try out.
	That fucking bitch.
	She's making it fun again to be like, hey, let's get over this.
	Hey, Brittany, is this the same clip?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So she's already over the insubordination and the barefoot thing.
	And she's trying to smooth it over, which I think is way too nice.
	She's doing great.
	This is great mom stuff.
	I think it's too nice.
	Yeah.
	This is my problem with it.
	Hit him, baby, one more time.
	Ice is like smooth.
	Like a skateboard.
	Actually, skateboarding is way worse.
	What a chill-ass mom.
	She maybe has a bit of a wine buzz there, maybe.
	But like, I've seen wine buzzes on my mom that could be in the Guinness Book of World Record.
	Oh, there would have been no ice skating.
	We would have been in the car turned around going back home.
	Oh, I'd have no feet.
	And then the brutality would have started.
	I'd get, you want bare feet at 7-Eleven?
	Here we go.
	Make you throw all your shoes away.
	She would leave my bare feet that she cut off at 7-11, and then I'd have stubs for the rest of my life.
	What's the other one, though?
	I love how the news, not that this is the news, but you know what I mean?
	When there's a pop culture item, it ends up saying so much about the people taking it in.
	And that wasn't the goal.
	This was supposed to make you go, what a scandalous bitch.
	Now we're like, what's the matter with America?
	That was a California beating we just saw right there.
	Oh, this is a good one.
	I like this one.
	I'm glad you.
	They thought something was wrong with me because I had sis.
	Your boobs are poking out.
	Come in here when we're trying to go to bed and then you just go and you.
	This is my house.
	If I forget something about it.
	This is my house.
	If I want to come in here and give you lotion for your face because it is cold.
	By the way, they just cut out all the escalation, all the back talk that would cause her to have this.
	We don't know why she's there.
	All right.
	Worse.
	And all you tell me, no, it's fine.
	It's fine.
	No, it's not fine.
	You all better start respecting me.
	Are we clear?
	Yeah.
	And when Robin calls, and you're all, you're all, even Robin's a fucking kid.
	She goes, what have you been doing to your kids?
	You're all, you all need to start treating me like a woman with worth.
	I am a woman.
	Okay?
	Be nice to me.
	Do you understand?
	Yeah.
	She really got that southern accent going on.
	Yeah, she is.
	That's a southern mom.
	Yeah, I felt like going.
	Yeah, I understand.
	Yes.
	She's in his room.
	They go, your boobs poking out or some shit.
	Like, sorry, I'm not wearing a gown when I come into your room late at night.
	But he's got coarse skin, so she has lotion for his face.
	Yeah, there's nothing wrong with any of that.
	Free Britney.
	It's clear now.
	It's clear she was.
	No more conservative shit.
	No.
	Yes.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Thank God.
	God bless her cotton socks.
	Brittany is free, guys.
	She is a woman.
	That's right.
	Respect her.
	And be nicer.
	Yeah, you can tell that they double team her.
	Like, they just dogpile on her.
	That Kevin Federline is just sitting there smoking Britney's weed.
	He's like, your mom's a fucking bitch, dude.
	Getting fatter and fatter.
	He's a fucking backup dancer that she boned backstage.
	And he dropped some loads in her.
	He's like, this weed sucks, by the way.
	What a bitch.
	Look at What the fuck is that?
	What a bitch.
	What is that?
	I don't have a double chin.
	I have a beard and then a neck and a weird line.
	Damn.
	Poor girl.
	But she puts out like a daily dance video on Instagram.
	Oh.
	Is she damaged now?
	Let me be clear.
	I'm not necessarily advocating everything that Britney Spears has ever done.
	No.
	I don't keep abreast of her.
	But those examples are fucking ridiculous.
	And if you think that is child abuse, then you are a spoiled fucking brat.
	There you go.
	Daily, this is Daily.
	Look at the jump cuts.
	Okay, that is fucking weird.
	Yeah, she's weirdo.
	She had one like the Garage Gym.
	There it is.
	She was the OG pop star hottie, though.
	Can't take that away from me.
	I don't know.
	That's pretty impressive.
	That's a sweaty crotch.
	Sorry.
	Yeah.
	That looks like me after boxing.
	I would like to dry that out with my facial blow dryer.
	Yeah.
	My mustache could take in some of that moisture.
	You just go.
	No, I would go.
	Oh, you would Zamboni it?
	Sylvia, did you ever disrespect your mom?
	My mother, I didn't get along with her.
	Did you ever say, fuck you, mom?
	No, I never said that to her.
	Never.
	I just kind of ignored her.
	It's like Slick Rick says, don't be a dumb dummy and disrespect your mommy.
	Yep.
	True.
	Slick Rick the ruler.
	Slick Ricky D. MC Ricky D the ruler.
	All right, let's open up the phones.
	Yes.
	Take a couple calls.
	Of course.
	And then fucking, God, we got a million people sending in emails about Brittany.
	One million people.
	Holy crap.
	I checked.
	I cleaned out the mailbag at like noon today.
	And it is bursting at the seams.
	Should we put a little bump?
	Which bump?
	Thanks for calling?
	Let's do you.
	Ryan, shut up.
	You don't have a dad.
	Oh.
	Yo, mailbaggage.
	Oops.
	Whoopsie.
	That's not the...
	Holy fuck.
	There's a hundred.
	They're on fire tonight.
	I guess they think they're going to get red if they do.
	You don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	All right.
	This guy emails us about 100 times a day.
	Does his name start with a J?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	Gavin Maddie.
	Somehow Ryan's mom is not mentioning this, probably because she abandoned you shortly after your dad did.
	That is not true.
	Well, 14 years after you did.
	That is also not true.
	She moved, gave me the option to move with her to Lake Carmel, and I did not want to because I was in high school.
	But she was very close, and I mean, I don't need my mom or you're not.
	The kids don't get an option.
	Yeah, I got the option.
	You're abandoned.
	Gavin Maddie, this never would happen.
	With my ma, you cunt, she would tell you where to go.
	You're not going to wear shoes, you're ungrateful, wee bastard.
	I was off to school.
	If you asked for something to eat, she would say, fuck.
	Folk who don't go to school kind of have stuff to eat.
	See, why did I read that?
	Why am I reading letters that...
	Hey, Gabman and Fagboy, I've been seeing this hot chick for a few months.
	She's cool as shit, and I'm into her for a lot of reasons.
	But she used to be fat, like over 200 pounds fat.
	Are you listening to this, Sylvia?
	Yeah, I'm mentally.
	She was fat most of her life until around a year ago, and she has some obese family members.
	If things progress between us, how concerned should I be about her getting too comfortable and blowing up again?
	How could I try to prevent that or address if she starts to plump up?
	Because she's my lover girl.
	My lover girl.
	And she never got a bump up.
	Because she loves her.
	And I love a bump up.
	It's a tip.
	If you allow me one other thing, this chick is into the Red Scare podcast.
	You know about it.
	Do you have any thoughts?
	It's geared towards young broads and fags or making conservative ideas like Catholicism and Alex Jones cool to that young crowd.
	They're a godsend for dudes like me who get bonus for autistic hip rods, but can't always bring myself to lie about what I think.
	This is a coin toss.
	The odds are one and two she gets fat again.
	Yeah.
	I would say if that's a deal breaker for you, like you're super anti-fat, don't risk it.
	One and two are not great odds.
	But I don't know.
	But it's obviously now at this point in time in her life that she's conscious about her image and weight if she's lost all the weight.
	Yeah, Maddie's fat.
	I still love him.
	I'm scared.
	I'm big boned.
	Maddie's big boned.
	This is ancient news, but I'll read it anyway.
	I recently graduated from HBCU, historically black college or university.
	I hate to sound racist, but I'm...
	Oh, wait a minute.
	We didn't ask Sylvia.
	Sylvia, what do you think of that guy?
	His girlfriend used to be fat.
	He's worried she's going to get fat again.
	You've got to hold the mic to your mouth a little more.
	If he really loves her, it doesn't matter.
	No, even closer.
	You've got to really blow it.
	I know you Jews don't like blowing it.
	If he really cares about her, her weight should never be an issue.
	When you love someone, you've got to accept them the way they are, not the way you want them to be.
	There we go.
	Okay.
	The voice of reason.
	I don't know historically black colleges well, but I'm willing to guess that the level of education is a fucking joke.
	And I remember Naomi Schaefer-Riley, she was fired from an academic journal for analyzing a bunch of black PhDs.
	And she goes, her husband's black, by the way, Jason Riley.
	So I guess she thought she could get away with it.
	But she's like, every fucking PhD is about racism and oppression and how horrible it's been for that person and slavery.
	Like, can't they do one PhD on the Great Depression or the Civil War or something?
	Speaking of the Civil War, by the way, when I was in the South, I'm watching a documentary in the hotel about the Civil War.
	And all the white guys are like, well, the problem with the Battle of Gettysburg was it was on a hill, so they had to shoot down, and that was their kind of contribution.
	That's not an actual thing, but you know what I mean?
	And then every time a black guy came on, he was like, the white soldiers hated the black soldiers, even though they were on the same team, because they were all racists.
	And you're like, okay, that might even be true.
	I don't fucking know.
	But can a black historian just be a black historian?
	Just be a historian.
	Why does your angle always, why do you have to be the black fucking guy?
	Tell me about like the quality of food back then or their shirts.
	The cotton was really stiff.
	It was really painful.
	They got hot.
	Some of them died of heat exhaustion.
	No, it's got to be slavery.
	So I'm guessing that black colleges are the same.
	It's just fucking...
	Let me take this history of oranges and make it all about slaves picking oranges and racist orange eaters.
	Someone's sending us a Spotify link, like we all can get onto Spotify.
	Our daughter's, my daughter uses my Spotify account, so every time you send me a Spotify link, I can't open it.
	I got it here.
	It's this one.
	Did you know some men blow dry their toes?
	Oh, this guy sent this a few times.
	But there's no clip.
	He should.
	I'm just supposed to listen to that for an hour?
	It's only an hour and 23.
	Yeah, let's sit here for an hour and 23 minutes, you fucking idiot.
	Did you know some men blow dry their toes?
	So that was a $100 one, so we'll read it.
	But what is he bringing that for?
	This guy sent this email about 10 times, by the way.
	He says that, Ryan, you've gotten better over the years, but you should still try your best.
	Okay.
	Thanks, shithead.
	You're lucky you spent $100.
	So the girl's Instagram post is causing a lot of controversy because she took nude photos on campus.
	The caption really makes the photo.
	Also, she made a follow-up post to address the thousands of quote-unquote haters in the comments.
	A lot of people want her degree taken away.
	What?
	Bullshit.
	So that's a picture she did.
	What's this?
	Turn it up?
	Other than that, you have made me proud.
	I'm proud of you, really.
	Thank you so much.
	We're very, very proud of you.
	Aw, thank you so much.
	Well, I'm so proud of you.
	So proud of you for being a dumb whore.
	I ain't never heard you say that was passage down that deep disappointment.
	I'm just happy for you.
	This guy says the audio was out for the entire episode until the end of the hot sauce ad.
	So no intro, nothing.
	Somebody tech-wise said after we introduced Maddie, right after that point.
	Okay.
	Gavin's either too cheap to buy better equipment or Ryan is fucking up.
	Could be somewhere in between.
	Someone wants to see behind the scenes.
	That's boring.
	Someone finds Brooke Goldstein attractive.
	That's nice.
	All right.
	I'm no longer reading letters.
	I have no idea.
	We got lots of calls.
	Yeah, let's take some calls.
	Maybe we should get motherfuckers.
	I get annoyed when I see shitty emails coming up.
	We got $100.
	Would you rather Britney Spears crazy ass in her prime or Demi Lovato's crazy ass?
	I have a disappointing answer to this.
	It's Demi Lovato, even though I know Britney Spears is a higher quality person, but I'm into brunettes over blondes, so I'm giving you an answer that you should be disappointed in.
	I'd say Brittany, because Demi Lovato doesn't know if she's a woman or not.
	That's true.
	Yeah, what if she switches it up?
	They're both nuts in a way.
	Yeah.
	But although Demi's back with her.
	And she just changed her pronouns again.
	Wait, from she, her?
	Back to she, her.
	All right, so she's back.
	We had a rocky road there with some of they, thems.
	They are about a year for now.
	What did she say she was pansexual or some shit?
	Oh, Jesus.
	Pansexual.
	Does that mean I come home and you're fucking some dude?
	Oh.
	That's a no.
	Mike's on, fellas.
	Mike's on.
	Oh, sorry.
	Mike's on.
	And we got, speaking of Mike, we don't have Mike on the line.
	We have 360.
	Go ahead there, 360.
	What's up, 360?
	Hey, Gavin, Maddie, Rygai.
	What's up?
	What's happening?
	Hey, what's up, hey?
	Long time listener, first time caller, brother.
	Let's see here.
	Calling from Washington, Seattle.
	Okay, let's get to the point.
	Sylvia, what do you think of this call so far?
	I find it fascinating.
	What do you guys think of the fundamental attribution error?
	The fundamental attribution error?
	I think it's awesome.
	Kind of icky.
	Kind of icky.
	It is awesome.
	So you know what that is, the fundamental attribution error?
	Of course I do.
	It refers to an individual's tendency to attribute another's actions to their character or personality while attributing their behavior to external situational factors outside their control.
	I'm just guessing here.
	That's pretty impressive.
	So that's a tendency.
	What people do is they have a tendency to attribute other people's behavior to that other person's personality.
	They have a tendency to attribute their own behavior to circumstantial factors, Circumstances.
	So it's like a hypocrisy, you know.
	And so I know you guys don't necessarily get real philosophical there, but I appreciate your level-headedness.
	And it's good to talk to you.
	So, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Give us an example.
	So, I say, like, Brittany Spears is nuts because she's a crazy bitch.
	And then when I do something crazy, I go, well, that's because I was beaten as a child.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Exactly.
	Or white people attack us because they're racist and not just.
	And then we attack people because we're not.
	We tend to think about personality when we're judging other people, and we tend to think about circumstances when we're judging ourselves.
	Interesting.
	But that was interesting.
	So where do you stand with nature or nurture?
	What percentage of our personalities are nature?
	And what percentage is nurture?
	Oh, boy, that's a good question.
	You know, hey, that's the $6,000 question.
	The answer is 95,5.
	Nature over nurture.
	Okay, yeah, I would go for that.
	You know, maybe.
	All right, bye.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	You got Sylvia a question here.
	I don't know if you're interested, but can Sylvia please share her makeup routine?
	Who's her blush guy?
	What's your lipstick here?
	I think nurturing is very important.
	And whoever receives the nurturing is okay, too.
	That's the makeup routine, folks.
	It revolves and evolves.
	It works both ways.
	It revolves and evolves.
	Yes.
	Sickly.
	So, Sephora, take note.
	Yeah.
	Can you guys hear me?
	Yeah, we can hear you.
	I always feel like I'm getting a direct line in question to Jesus Christ himself when I'm on here.
	Like I'm going to fumble the bag.
	But anyway, Gavin, so I hear you talk a lot about guys getting married early.
	But man, I'm 21 years old.
	I'd say I'm maybe like a 7.5, 8, 6'2.
	Man, women, at least I live in Southern California, it's bad, man.
	Like, I understand where you're coming from, and I think you're 95% right on how men need to approach young women.
	But there's something that you don't know about these women, man.
	They are so sluggy.
	They are so low quality.
	I just, like, I'm giving up at this point, man.
	Like, your mind would be blown if you got to experience the utter, I don't know what the word is for.
	Depravity.
	I think, dude, it's just fucking a nightmare.
	And it's like these women, and here's the problem, Gavin, and I think you'll agree with this, is that back in the day, people didn't have access to every fucking woman they want.
	Women go on social media, there's a seven, an eight, a nine, and a, not a 10, a 10, fucking the 2% that women always want.
	That are ready to fuck them.
	Guys, seven and eight, dude, it's just the imbalance is making men angry.
	And I think you've heard of Andrew Tate, and 25% of what he says is complete bullshit.
	But he is here because men are getting sick of this feminist bullshit.
	And the skill always turns.
	Isaac Newton's general law is that there's always an equal or greater reaction.
	And the greater reaction is this fucking asshole who the majority of what he says is right.
	But, I mean, that's why I listen to you because you're just an upgrade on him.
	You're fucking Jesus Christ himself.
	Hell yeah, man.
	That's what I have to say.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	I can imagine it's pretty rough.
	We just have some breaking news here that's not good for us.
	I just sent you the link, Ryan.
	I'm sure it is tough out there.
	And I guess what I was saying, too, with the young men dating is if you get the one and you're like, well, I'm too young, then you should ignore that instinct and just fucking marry her.
	If, however, you're drowning in sluts and none of them are worthy, obviously don't be desperately throwing a wedding ring around.
	So this is a guy who attacked the FBI.
	He's been linked to the Proud Boys, according to Daily Mail.
	I got an email or a text from a Proud Boy in Ohio saying, just so you know, we don't know this dude.
	And I was like, why are you saying that?
	Is he linked to Proud Boys?
	And he goes, no, but I know that you're always paranoid about that.
	But here it says Schiffer attended the January 6th Capitol riot and had ties to extremist groups, including the Proud Boys.
	Ties.
	Boy, like what, liking a post or something?
	What the fuck?
	Well, we'll see.
	He has ties to the Proud Boys, it says in the belly of the article.
	Then there's a whole thing about the Proud Boys, who they are.
	Vice Media co-founder Gavin McInnes.
	We're now doing Me News.
	Started the all-male Proud Boys, blah, blah, blah.
	Politically incorrect men's club.
	Group that overtly espouse racist and anti-Semitic views.
	According to someone.
	Fuck me.
	Wait.
	A politically incorrect men's club for Western chauvinists and deny affiliations with forward extremist groups that overtly espouse racist and Semitic views.
	The Alabama-based Salary and Poverty Law Center called them a hate group, saying its members often spread outright bigger, bigotry, and anti-Muslim, yes, and misogynist rhetoric, yes.
	Over the internet, blah, blah, blah.
	And have posted social media pictures of themselves with prominent Holocaust deniers, white nationalists, and known neo-Nazis.
	So you've been in a photo with bad men.
	The current leader, Enrique Tario, marched in Charlottesville.
	That's not true.
	They've been involved in a series of high-profile violent clashes.
	In New York City, in October 2018, police arrested several Proud Boys members who brawled with anti-fascist protesters.
	You always know where they come from when they say anti-fascist instead of Antifa.
	Following a speech by McInnes, yeah, and they got four years in prison for that.
	That's why we're trying to raise money for these poor bastards.
	They frequently clash with counter-protesters at rallies in California and Oregon.
	Most recently, the group took part in the siege on the Capitol.
	In February, they designated a Terrorist group in Canada.
	Here we go.
	In another tweet, he referenced his affiliation with the Proud Boys, all-male far-world extremist group involved in a series of high-profile violent crises and political events.
	And here we have, oh, the packing.
	The packing could be here.
	Schiffer posted last May.
	Save ammunition.
	Get in touch with the Proud Boys and learn how they did it in the Revolutionary War.
	Because submitting to tyranny while lawfully protesting was never the American way.
	So, so far, the only solid affiliation is get in touch with the Proud Boys.
	And we're done.
	You guys were around in the Revolutionary War?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	That's a really long-standing group of men you got there.
	Thanks for noticing.
	It's the first men's club that was invented in a time machine.
	Yeah.
	So of course it's a fucking chick behind this, Natasha Anderson.
	So this guy says, get in touch with the Proud Boys, and now he's affiliated with the Proud Boys.
	Because he mentioned the group's name.
	Yeah.
	Let's look at this bitch.
	I need to see.
	Yeah, they always look like this.
	They're always like 22-year-old sex in the city chicks.
	Natasha Anderson.
	She's a child.
	She's a babysitter.
	No world experience whatsoever.
	U.S. online reporter for DailyMail.com.
	Like, these women use white nationalists and proud boys just to mean like boys who didn't fuck me in high school.
	And I'm glad they didn't, because I'm doing great on my own.
	No, there's a better picture under LinkedIn, Ryan.
	You don't have to be on LinkedIn.
	Anyway, that was a good way to end it.
	We're going to keep going with calls and the super chats.
	And you also talk about, Ryan, how to get on the live chat on the site.
	Is that only for subscribers?
	It should be.
	The page, yeah.
	Yeah, there she is.
	She kind of looks like a weird thumb.
	Hi.
	Remember those oranges when they used to put the eyes and the mouth and the orange?
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	He's in the Proud Boys.
	He said, contact your local Proud Boys.
	And then there's a giant part of the article is this sidebar explaining the Proud Boys.
	And by the way, when they say denies anti-Semitism and racism, they put that in so I can't sue them.
	It's a little trick.
	But the general message still gets through where you go, those guys sound like Nazis.
	Or they'll say, Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups.
	You can't sue for that.
	Proud Boys, you could say the Mets and other MLB teams.
	No, wait, that doesn't work.
	You could say the Mets and other sports.
	No, that doesn't work.
	There's a way where they go, the Proud Boys and other white supremacist groups and the white supremacist sticks to the other and not the first guys.
	Is that possible?
	Anyway, that's the problem with this shit.
	The media is embroiled in semantics, and you have to parse through these wordplay games to catch them fucking up because the only way you can sue is when they make a clerical error.
	But if you say, white nationalists want you to work out and get in shape, an obsession the Proud Boys are happy to support.
	And you're like, well, wait a minute, that's technically true, but I don't like the way that comes out.
	Can't sue for the way that comes out.
	Anyway, we are now closing down the free section of the show.
	Thanks, Silk City Hot Sauce.
	Thanks, Shell Shock CBD.
	And we will be back free next week on Thursday.
	I don't think that's enough for you, though.
	This is like, we were very generous today.
	It's an hour and a half.
	We gave you free.
	We usually do half an hour.
	If you subscribe to censored.tv, you get more than you can handle.
	We got Anthony Coome on the network every Wednesday.
	That's a wild ride.
	And it is unlimited, honest news that is totally unbiased and funny.
	The problem with the right, I find, is great guys.
	Daily Wire, I love.
	I listen to Michael Knowles and Ben Shapiro when I'm driving around in my old-fashioned car that only has the radio.
	I love Chris Plant on Talk New York.
	Great dudes.
	I need more humor from the right.
	And that's what you get here on censored.tv.
	We joke around.
	We riff.
	We have fun.
	We call a bartender if we think he was talking shit about us.
	You don't see that anywhere else.
	So give it a whirl and you won't regret it.
	So without further ado, and please stop sending me emails saying I got that colloquialism wrong.
	I'm aware of that.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	He's a fucking comedian, writer, actor comedian.
	He's the co-founder of my fucking other vagina, you gross pig.
	Who is the fuck on the empty comedian speaker?
	You got big fucking pigs.
	I watched that and I said, this chick's too retarded the fuck.
	You shouldn't do it.
	They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around.
	This is the part of Seth that's gonna get real mean before I leave.
	No more filthy.
	You king.
	They think we wanna tell those kind of jokes.
	Oh shit.
	The fact that we used Bruce Springsteen for the free thing might get us in trubs.
	Just with Twitter, right?
	I mean Twitch.
	No, there was no sound.
	No, there was no sound.
	But we did talk about it later.
	Yeah.
	Yo, popcast, whatever they call them, they'll be using free songs all the time.
	I'll listen to it.
	We'll see what happens.
	I think it's YouTube who are the real Nazis about that kind of music.
	Here's a funny tranny meme from Wingo Bingo.
	It has a Chad saying the N-word and a black Chad saying fuck you.
	Then it has a Chad saying faggot and a gay Chad saying fuck you.
	And then it has a Chad saying Tranny.
	I got frozen male.
	Hold up.
	Chad?
	Yeah.
	What is that a nickname for?
	It's like a meme for...
	It used to be an insult for alpha males and then it's been co-opted and now it means awesome dude.
	I'm not familiar with that terminology.
	And then the last one, it says tranny, and it has a reclamed tranny saying, why are you so obsessed with trannies?
	It's because you actually want to fuck trannies.
	Actually, it's because you're a closeted tranny.
	Back to poll, Chud.
	You are triggered by trannies.
	Sorry, you'll never be with a trans queen.
	Remember that guy, Steph on Knee?
	God damn it.
	He was the most ridiculous tranny.
	He was at the forefront of the whole thing.
	A gigantic man, like 6'8, 300 pounds.
	He decides he's a four-year-old girl named Stephanie, but it's spelled Steph on Knee.
	And he starts getting fucked up the ass.
	Some perverted, disgusting couple in Canada adopts him, and they fuck him up the ass.
	So they're pedophiles, right?
	Because he's pretending to be a little girl.
	He says, can I get pregnant?
	We showed it on my show years ago, and they since deleted the podcast because I guess they realized a gigantic man pretending to be a four-year-old girl and getting fucked up the ass is probably not a positive experience.
	I don't know where I saw it, but yesterday, there was a township that's shutting down a place called My Inner Baby.
	Oh, that was on the show, yeah.
	It was.
	We cover on the show.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's where.
	Okay, yeah.
	I'm like, where the hell did I see that?
	I actually saved a message from quote-unquote her that's years old now.
	And because I joked around that Stefan Ni, I want to fuck her.
	Did she have a baby?
	She did not get pregnant from her pedophile ass raping.
	Oh, weeks.
	That's the wrong person.
	I'll send this to you, Ryan.
	I wish I had saved the date.
	Did I save the date?
	Or is this a bit about her?
	Make of all this.
	It's bloody ridiculous.
	He's not.
	He is.
	It's embarrassing.
	It's a load of bullocks.
	I'm trans.
	Deal with it.
	You're not trans.
	You're having a breakdown.
	Transphobic.
	It's not transphobic.
	You're not trans.
	I am trans.
	I haven't got a problem with trans people.
	Real trans people.
	I couldn't give a shit what gender people want to be or become or what they want to be called or how they want to dress or whether they keep them.
	Not with the family they were born with.
	I couldn't give a shit.
	But you are not trans.
	You're having a fucking breakdown.
	I identify as an eight-year-old girl.
	Oh, you're not an eight-year-old girl.
	You are what you identify as.
	Pulls this sort of shit all the time.
	You saw a documentary once about MA.
	Had that for a year.
	That was a nightmare.
	You tell it all the time.
	I couldn't work.
	It was bullshit.
	Dude, this is definitely inspired by Stefan Nietzsche.
	Yeah.
	Like, directly, I think.
	Yeah.
	You know, that show was about him.
	What was it called?
	I forget what that show was called.
	It's so much more bearable.
	Afterlife than Afterlife.
	That's not Afterlife.
	It says Afterlife Season 2.
	Oh, really?
	Fuck, Afterlife has become so hokey now about love.
	And, you know, you're my angel, ultimately.
	I've got your text message here.
	I've learned that.
	Yeah, so I should have saved the date, but I joked that you want to fuck me so bad.
	I want to fuck her.
	And Stefan Neese DM'd me back when I was on Twitter and said, I want to make you completely aware of my intention to not only never let you fuck me, but also know that I'm not one of your 255,000 stupid lemmings.
	Let me block you out of my life, dumbass.
	So I want you to see who just made it clear I will never get to fuck her.
	Ever.
	Which is unfortunate because I would fuck her for 800 million?
	Even then, though.
	Look at that.
	It looks like the thing.
	Yeah, it does.
	She's a ginger.
	Oh, look, that's the couple that fucked her at the top.
	Right there?
	Yeah, that man on the left is a, I'm convinced he's a pedophile.
	He fucked that guy.
	So they adopted him and the Canadian media, you think liberal media in America is bad.
	Canada's media, Canadian liberals, actually all of Canada, has this fucking reinvent the wheel compulsion where they're like, love doesn't exist.
	Up is down.
	And because it's such a new country, they're always like, maybe cars should go backwards.
	We're going to have reverse day.
	And they're always thinking outside the box, which can be a very endearing quality.
	You know, it's not like Britain where there's this uptight classism, but it can be fucking annoying.
	Like when it comes to adopting a 50-year-old man who abandoned his six kids and then fucking him up the ass as a four-year-old while he worries about him getting pregnant.
	See if you can pull them up, those three.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Because I think it's been deleted.
	I wonder where that guy is now.
	I remember back then, someone in Toronto was his neighbor, and they're like, I'm his fucking neighbor, dude.
	And I go, okay, you're feeding a squirrel here.
	This is not easy, but we need to get Steph on me on the show, on video.
	Oh my Lord.
	She was Paul.
	And she's still Paul.
	She is Paul.
	Here's some cells pretending to be full of shit.
	What does this have to do with Paul?
	Born a male.
	She was Paul for 40, 50 years.
	When I grew up, being transgendered was a sickness, it was a disorder.
	Yep.
	And it was something to be embarrassed about.
	Well, guess what?
	It still is.
	We're still going strong.
	Wait, how do you abandon...
	Oh, good.
	I thought that was a sick.
	Stephanie Walsh rarely comes back to her hometown of Mount Albert, Ontario.
	Population, 3,000.
	Is that her nickname, Mount Albert?
	She is Mount Albert.
	In fact, she hasn't lived here in five years.
	The main reason?
	She was driven out by a restraining order.
	But make no mistake.
	Wait, that sounds like she's a victim.
	She's a victim of that, huh?
	I love how they just gloss over that the restraining order couldn't possibly be justified.
	She's away from the town.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She's a victim.
	All she did was accost his ex-wife, and he was asked to leave.
	But still doesn't mean you have to leave town.
	No.
	Just stay away from the woman you were accosting.
	Stephanie is no stranger here.
	For nearly 50 years, everyone knew her as Paul.
	But what people didn't know was that Paul harbored a deep secret.
	A secret idiot that only one person knew about, his wife.
	Maria uncovered it well before they were married.
	It was when they were dating as teenagers 30 years ago.
	Wait, just pause.
	This is Paul's version of events.
	We're not going to hear from her and how she didn't know what the fuck was going on until one day he showed up dressed as a four-year-old and said, good luck getting alimony from me.
	Bye, bitch.
	And gave all his kids serious mental issues.
	Oh, that's when she caught Paul with his Sears catalog.
	I was trans before we married.
	I was a trans parent for 23 years.
	No, you weren't.
	You were not a trans parent.
	Dude, he's built like a brick shithouse.
	Yeah.
	I should watch it.
	Like, Stefan Nihil throw me across the road into an 18-wheeler.
	That's all still there.
	Six kids?
	It floored me.
	It scared me because I didn't know how to not be trans.
	Shut up.
	You're rewriting history.
	Oh.
	Is that a trap they set?
	Thank God.
	No, it's not a trap.
	It's a three-ton piece of cement wrapped in canvas.
	Doesn't trap anything.
	It obliterates it.
	Oh, so you just admitted you don't want trans to exist.
	I don't want Paul to exist.
	Stefani.
	Whatever's behind that black curtain, I hope it says Acme on it.
	He gets the Wile E treatment.
	Wiley Coyote.
	Like a lot of ladies, I just fucking take out transmissions, re-calibrate them, and pop them back in.
	A lot of shops don't like to do transmissions, but as a tranny, I feel that it's my right.
	Look at this.
	Stefani came over.
	Typical chicks.
	Ricky's sitting out the air filters.
	Needed some fixing, so fucking Stefan Nik came over.
	Checking the oil.
	You know how women are.
	She fixed it up real good, gave us a couple of smokes.
	Testosterone suppressors on spirolactin.
	And January, I began taking estrogen and began transitioning.
	Didn't work.
	Where is he now?
	Where is Stefan Ni now?
	I would fucking kill to get Stefan Knee on a show.
	We gotta...
	I keep talking a big game like mantis shrimps and stuff, and then I let it fall apart.
	We still gotta build that liberal version of the site where we can lure in people like Meet Walsh did with his fucking training doc.
	We got tons of calls.
	We got 19 calls.
	Oh, right.
	We had to get through the calls.
	We got fucking 20 minutes.
	That's a minute a call.
	We had way more, but they dropped off because they were waiting too long.
	They dropped off, T?
	T 913, you're on the lead.
	What's up?
	What up, dog?
	Yo, what's happening?
	So, Gab, you know that Homelander clip you showed earlier this week where he blows the guy's head off, and you're like, that's what they, the libs, see us as?
	Yes.
	Well, it's actually a little bit worse than that because that's supposed to be Trump saying he can shoot someone on Fifth Street or whatever he said, and no one would care.
	And throughout the entire season, they've set this guy up to be Trump.
	Like, he starts firing all kinds of people, doing all this ridiculous stuff.
	And in the previous season, there was some chick who's like a secret Nazi, and she's like talking about white genocide, and everyone's like, yeah, awesome.
	And it's like a weird, stupid.
	This is like Dennis Prager says, and I think he stole it from Krauthammer.
	They think we're evil.
	We just think they're wrong.
	I don't want them to die.
	I just joked about Stefani, but you get the point.
	But when you hear their fantasies, like my mother-in-law the other day just said, I'm going to have a huge party when Trump dies.
	They really want him to die.
	Anyway, we've got a minute to call.
	Thanks for calling.
	Next call.
	It's true.
	Well, go ahead, they call it.
	$100.
	$100.
	We will be heard.
	Uhuru.
	I'm not magic.
	I can't fucking...
	Oh, this is the guy who wants...
	The baby monsters Want you, Ryan, to do streeters.
	Okay.
	That's their demand.
	Got it.
	Thanks.
	Does it have to be so intense?
	Yeah, chill the fuck out.
	Until our demands are met, we get a certain amount.
	We'll get him to do streeters.
	Calm down.
	I don't really like the vocabulary of threatening my family, too.
	It's not really a kidnapping kind of stuff.
	It's not a good look.
	Another $100 ones, bang it up.
	This week, my girl and I are having a little boy, first kid, the age of 36.
	What can I do to raise him out to be a complete failure like Ryan?
	How dare you?
	A tickback ride.
	Do not want a son who jams out on YouTube to four people on a Friday night.
	I really don't do that anymore.
	Oh, touche.
	Touche.
	That's the old me.
	I quit vaping.
	I now chew mastic gum.
	Okay, stop.
	I would say, I used to say, don't get your kids, don't be political around your kids and let them find their own way.
	I regret that one thing, and I would say, red pill them from birth.
	I'm doing it with my younger kid.
	My wife said today, she's like, hey, you want to watch the new Bad News Bears to my youngest boy?
	And he goes, is it woke?
	Nice.
	I was like, okay, I got one.
	The other one, the eldest boy, is apolitical because he sees that it fucked up our families.
	He's like, I don't want anything to do with that.
	And then the daughter, I think she might be pretty left.
	Anyway, let's get to some calls.
	We're not doing one a minute.
	Yeah.
	905.
	You're on the live.
	Go ahead, 905.
	Hello, butt boys.
	Hi.
	I've got a plane to catch next week.
	And as soon as it lands, I'm button past everybody.
	And I'm going to get to the front of the plane as fast as I can.
	And there's nothing you or the butt boys can do to stop me.
	That's not happening, my friend, because we tracked your phone, and we are going to check your itinerary, and I'm going to make sure there's a butt boy on that plane to stop you from going before your row.
	We're everywhere.
	If you're in row 18, you should be in the group 18 to get out.
	It's a very simple concept.
	So keep dreaming, motherfucker.
	Goodbye.
	Thank you for calling.
	By the way, when I was going to, what was it, Greenville?
	I was super hungover, and there was a naive-looking Indian, and I obviously mean Dot, not Feather, who looked like he was going to butt.
	And I was like, I don't want to be a butt boy today, man.
	I'm weak.
	I'm fragile.
	I'm hungover.
	This guy doesn't seem malicious.
	He seems naive.
	And then something in me went, oh, yeah.
	Do you think the guys on D-Day could say, I'm hungover?
	Yeah, that's not how it works.
	They've got to storm the beach anyway.
	They got to storm the beaches.
	This is B-Day.
	You're a butt boy.
	The second you buy a plane ticket, you're a butt boy.
	And I fucking got up and I made it clear.
	And he was like, what's going on, buddy?
	And I just was sort of like, we're not doing this.
	He's like, no, you're butt boy.
	And he wasn't even mad.
	It wasn't a confrontation at all.
	I was sweating because I was so hungover.
	But I was like, just, and I just sort of motioned for him to go back.
	It was perfectly smooth.
	Not every butt-boy confrontation is a confrontation.
	It's often educational.
	And it's like, hey, man, welcome to America.
	You're 19.
	This is 18.
	So you're going to be after all the 18s.
	Next call.
	Okay.
	We got 580.
	You're in life.
	Go ahead there, 580.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	This is, I guess I'm an old monster instead of a baby monster.
	I'm one year older than you are, Gab.
	But I was going to say, hey, is Maddie going to be at the show in Dallas?
	Very likely.
	Yeah.
	We'll see how the ticket sales pan out if we can afford it.
	I'd like to meet y'all all, and I'm going to piss you off because I'm going to get a selfie and an autograph.
	Yeah, you know what?
	I take back my aversion to selfies.
	I get it.
	It's the fastest way to move things forward.
	So selfie it up.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Next call.
	53.
	We got 250 in life.
	Yeah, 250.
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, you still can't hear Ryan, but hey, Gab, you should look up the book of queer on Discovery Channel.
	They try to claim that Abraham Lincoln was a fag and a few other weird ones.
	Oh, and that some of the one of the versions of the Bible was written by a gay guy, I guess.
	I got to say, dude, the Lincoln thing has a little bit of credence to it.
	Oh, does it?
	Like, he had his secretary that was his best pal.
	And he wouldn't hang out with his wife.
	He was constantly hanging out with his secretary.
	Oh, look, they're very subtle about it.
	We'll help you dig it up.
	There's not a ridiculous.
	And they show it in Canada, on YouTube, on our TV.
	Like, they are plowing the book of queer down our throats here.
	It's unreal.
	Someone needs to tell everyone what the percentages are.
	Gays are 1% of the population.
	Blacks are 14% of America.
	Canada, it's probably 5.
	Asians are 5% of America.
	Jews are 3.5% of Americans.
	It's all just Hispanics and whites, really, in America here.
	And all these other oppressed minorities that think they dominate the landscape.
	I'm sorry.
	I don't think...
	Here's a percentage.
	80% of blacks don't realize that they are 14% of the population.
	And I think I know why.
	Because of TV and commercials.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	No, he can't tell me things.
	He said it first, sir.
	That's like when you're at the airport and they go, have a nice flight, and you go, you too.
	And then you go, what the fuck?
	Yeah.
	They say that.
	Why?
	She's not going on a flight.
	973, you're on the lee.
	Go ahead there, 973.
	Hey, Gavin.
	It's God.
	Oh, hi, God.
	How are you?
	How are you?
	Good.
	Weird messages this month.
	I know.
	I have a bone to pick with you.
	Uh-oh.
	Do you know why I created the red-hot chili peppers?
	No.
	Because they create big fucking hits.
	Yay.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Take on Anthony Cumier there?
	Good spin.
	Even God needs to call in, they say.
	There you go.
	So God likes RHCP.
	He's a big fan.
	I assume he likes early RHCP.
	Like that MoFo party plan stuff.
	And Ertle the Turtle and all that stuff.
	He's more of a can't funky punk guy.
	I can't believe that God likes California Kiss on with his fucking gloves and his long hair and he's all sexy.
	He likes around the world.
	That's his favorite.
	Anthony loves singing red-hot chili peppers, dude.
	I liked them, though, in the 80s.
	I remember being fucking 14 and trying to get into the show when they played Ottawa, Canada.
	And I couldn't get in.
	Too young.
	This is Anthony rapping.
	He does the other hits, too.
	The other give it away.
	Let's give it away.
	He does the other ones.
	Okay.
	Let's take some calls.
	We got 10 minutes left.
	Okay, Liam, 831.
	You're on the run.
	What's going on there, Liam?
	Yeah, dirty bastard.
	Hey, is that me?
	Yes, sir.
	Is that you?
	It's both of us.
	Naddy.
	What's going on?
	I have a quick question regarding AIU.
	I was recently listening to an old episode, and I believe he was saying that he thinks that men should sit down to pee.
	What do you guys think about that?
	Obviously, that's wrong.
	However, if it's the middle of the night and you can't see in the bathroom, I think it's acceptable to sit down.
	Also, if you're on a first date and you get up in the middle of the night and you don't want her to hear like, and you're using her bathroom, you could sit down.
	But you've got to watch farts because you're going to unleash the fucking gas.
	But obviously, in the daytime...
	You can't sit on the bowl.
	It amplifies it.
	It gets louder.
	Right.
	So don't fart on the bull if you're trying to be quiet, obviously, that you've just sat on a trombone.
	But the old thunderbox.
	If you cannot sit down to pee in the day, there's an arguable excuse for the middle of the night.
	But if you sit down to pee in the day, you're no friend of mine.
	And AIU will be off this network if he does it in the day.
	Tomorrow.
	He also said that we should be shaving our armpits.
	How do you feel about that?
	Man, this guy brings in a lot of subs, so I can't really complain.
	But God exists.
	Grow your armpit hair and stand up to pee.
	Hi, Trimmy.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	I like how now this is a sign of rebellion.
	Yeah.
	I've got armpit hair.
	I've got armpit bush.
	Yeah.
	I call it.
	Oh, that was the same guy.
	Wait a minute.
	Can we just jump to a letter for a second here?
	Of course.
	Brittany Grenier is a woman, says Derek.
	I normally agree with you on just about everything, but not this.
	I've attached photos from her Sports Illustrated nude photo shoot.
	Now, it doesn't show her disgusting vagina, but it's pretty clear there's no penis there either.
	And she'd have to pay some serious hush money to anyone that was on set that day.
	I still love you and have no feelings towards Ryan.
	I've looked at these pictures, and I'll admit, this could appear to be a deal breaker.
	But you've got to understand that someone that is this devoted, Jesus Christ, look at those feet, that is this devoted to their thing, when they tape their dick and balls down,
	it's not like they use a fucking piece of hockey tape like the way we would if we tried it for the first time.
	They've been doing this for months and months and months.
	They have a skin-colored, maxi-pad-ish mesh tape thing, and they're total experts at taping their balls down in between their butt cheeks.
	Also, while the cameraman was setting up, he's got his hand over his crotch.
	Go back to that one you just showed and look at those fucking feet.
	Is this a chick's foot?
	Wait, what are you doing here?
	Those are stompers, bro.
	Yeah, those are a dude.
	And I'm getting guy vibes from like...
	Put shorts on that.
	That looks like a guy's fucking leg, dude.
	They're from Africa.
	Guyanese?
	Or they're Guyanese.
	Shit.
	So, like, you're assuming that during this shoot, in between shots, he was just like, all right, should we shoot my cunt?
	Or we probably don't want my cunt in the shot, right?
	No, he's being super coy, and he's got, like, a towel.
	And then when they're ready to shoot, he takes off the towel, and he's like, okay, I think I'm ready now.
	That doesn't look like a guy, body to you, like for real.
	Like, just look at that, just isolated.
	Yeah.
	See that part?
	He kind of looks like our trainer, Ryan.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I remember you mentioned that before.
	And yeah, I see a little bit of it.
	The ass, when he's in that jump shot, that ass is a very dude ass.
	Dudas.
	Isn't that who killed Jesus Christ?
	Dudas?
	Dude ass priest.
	Anyway, I don't think this is a deal breaker.
	I'm sorry, let's get back to calls.
	We've got six minutes left.
	Six minutes, Dougie, fresh your own.
	That's nine minutes, actually.
	Go ahead, Dead Cole.
	And the lads are in for a surprise.
	949, you're on the line.
	He's got a date.
	The guy on the phone has got a date.
	Hopefully that's related.
	Yeah.
	Can I have one of those guys?
	I don't even know what his name is.
	Hello?
	He's got his phone now.
	Is this legal to listen to?
	I like hearing these.
	He's got a date.
	Is he wearing high-heeled shoes?
	He's walking through.
	You're like, clunk, clink, clunk.
	It's probably his knife on his cutting board.
	He's watching Maddie Shell kitchen in the background.
	Halfway through.
	Chopping garlic.
	Sylvia, I feel like we're losing you over there.
	Okay.
	You don't find here with this movie.
	That's true.
	No one can hear you without your microphone.
	Your microphone.
	No one can hear you without it.
	Women look at the world differently than men.
	But in the end, why is it women survive longer?
	Less stress.
	Longer than men.
	Do you know why?
	Less stressful.
	Women take longer for everything.
	Because we're the creators of life.
	That's why.
	That's the only reason for nature.
	Twitch calls?
	I agree with you.
	Can I have the firearm, please?
	Firearm.
	Let's skip to the next call.
	All right.
	9.15.
	You're on the list.
	Hey, Gavin.
	How's it going?
	What's going on?
	915.
	Hey.
	So, Gavin, I'm watching you on Mad as Hell on YouTube.
	Your live show for free.
	How do you feel about that?
	Do you think that's good?
	Because I'm definitely going to start subscribing you now.
	Is it on Mad as Hell right now?
	Yeah.
	It's live.
	And how does that work?
	Mad as Hellfell about doing that.
	I think we got to shut that down.
	That's a bit rich.
	Oh, no, technically.
	It's fair use because, look, he's in the bottom screen.
	He's in the bottom corner.
	And I have another question for you, Gavin.
	Do you believe the rapture will happen soon?
	700 people.
	Yeah, I'm not really worried about 700 people.
	Do I believe the rapture will happen soon?
	No.
	Sorry.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	All right.
	Bye.
	Bye.
	Never listening to us.
	I typed in a comment.
	I said, hey, what the hell?
	Oh, no.
	I'm sorry.
	So what the heck?
	Um, Jim.
	Oh, hey there, Jim.
	678.
	You're late.
	Wait, let's do something to get him kicked off of YouTube.
	What's going on, 678?
	Jim.
	Jim.
	Hey.
	What's happening?
	Oh, I'm on.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So, I've been trying to, well, my YouTube channels are nothing much, but trying to...
	We have a great affinity for the Pride Boys, and we want to get together a boxing match.
	I'm 5'11 and 3 quarters.
	He's waving at us.
	One long three.
	I've tried to get a hold of Gavin to challenge him in a boxing match.
	Is it legal to fight handicapped people?
	What are the parameters with this?
	Trust me, bro.
	I don't want to go to hell.
	I would love it.
	I love you, but I would be drained.
	Maybe I could drink Drano and try to get to a level where we could be equals.
	Maybe.
	Maybe I had a stroke that might make it more even for you, Kevin.
	I think this is an act to get you to catfish.
	He's gav fishing you.
	Oh, so then I go there and he's like, motherfucker, I ain't had no stroke.
	You're going to die.
	You just drank Drano for no reason.
	You're going to die.
	All right.
	Wanting to fight a stranger is gay, but yeah, I'm happy to fight you.
	I would like to get together a fundraiser for the cowboys because they're suffering greatly in jail.
	So I'd love, if I could, to offer my service.
	I would like to accept your challenge.
	And we can do this presently by and by.
	Get a hold of me.
	All right.
	Get his number down, Ryan, and we will set it up.
	And I can get in a wheelchair with him, or we can get him out of his wheelchair.
	We could suspend him.
	We could suspend you on some sort of elastics.
	I'm from the South, like you've been down to South Carolina thing recently.
	So one of us didn't know.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	I love how Southerners think they're the only people who fight.
	Dude, you better watch it.
	We're from the South.
	We fight all the time.
	Yeah, because New Yorkers never fight.
	New Yorkers have never been in a fight in their lives.
	They're constantly avoiding conflict.
	If there's one thing you don't get in New York City, it's conflict.
	No.
	Oh, God.
	That's the best thing about it.
	Everyone is petrified of combat in New York City.
	Next call.
	How many do we have left?
	Do we plow through these like I hoped we would?
	Shit.
	Not even close, right?
	Hell no.
	Hell no.
	We have 11 left.
	720.
	Hey guys, how's it going?
	Hey, finally, a lady.
	Hey.
	I called in because I have a better place to move than North Carolina where that guy was from.
	South Carolina.
	Okay.
	I've been talking about Greenville, South Carolina, but okay.
	Regardless.
	All right, I'm going to sell you on it before I tell you where because otherwise you'll be like, fuck that.
	All right.
	You don't want to be landlocked.
	You want more shoreline in California.
	You want somewhere you can wear a hive is and be cool.
	Your kids can play in the suburbs.
	Ryan wants to go to Kid Land with his baby.
	Sometimes.
	Maddie wants to ride bikes through the hills.
	And you all want privacy and 2A respected, Right?
	Yeah, that's a pretty good pitch.
	Branson, Missouri.
	Oh my God.
	What?
	Branson, Missouri.
	Isn't that the Russian guys thing?
	Yakov Shmirnov's dinner adventure.
	I'll be in Missouri, Missouri.
	Next week.
	We're going to Branson a shit ton.
	It's where we took all our class trips.
	There's endless shows.
	You guys won't feel out of place there.
	We're not 60 years old.
	Am I like, I want to go to more shows?
	I'll be in Missouri next week.
	You'll be in Missouri next week?
	Yeah.
	I'll be in Arkansas, Missouri.
	All through there.
	Would you show Maddie around?
	I've been through Branchon.
	You've been to Branchstone too?
	Arkansas, Tulsa.
	I've been all through Missouri.
	I'll be through that area next week.
	Is there income tax in Missouri?
	I heard you ask somebody else that the personal income tax is like 4%, business tax is like 6%.
	Wow.
	Do you live there?
	I'm from there.
	I lived there for 17 years.
	But why'd you move?
	We're going to be moving back as soon as we can.
	Where do you live now?
	I'm a very, very small town, and I wanted to go out and see the world.
	We currently live in Colorado.
	Well, this is a tough sell if you're in Colorado and you're talking about how awesome your hometown is.
	Colorado.
	We're moving back.
	Okay.
	Nice.
	All right.
	Interesting.
	Like, I know when I first brought this up, I got a million suggestions and I put them all on a topographical map.
	And there'd be like a Branson, Missouri, and a Montana and Indiana.
	But the density of dots around eastern Kentucky, North Carolina, and South Carolina was insane.
	Knoxville, Charlotte, Asheville, Greensboro.
	Everybody knows that we have so much water.
	You could own a boat and ride your bike through the woods.
	There are horse shows and petting farms for the kids.
	Oh, and your boy loves baseball.
	Baseball is the pitch in Missouri.
	My school didn't have football.
	It had basketball and baseball.
	Okay, good suggestion.
	Thanks for calling.
	Interesting.
	We'll check it out.
	I have a quick idea here.
	I mean, well, we don't have time for your idea, unfortunately, Ryan.
	We're out of time.
	It's 10 o'clock.
	Maybe you could do your idea tomorrow.
	A celebrity.
	What are you doing?
	Well, I just thought maybe it'd be a good idea for our free viewers to enjoy one of the greatest movies ever.
	It's called Star Wars, you see.
	Oh, great.
	Yes, and we also have...
	That's fun.
	Why is the screen black?
	Well, let's see.
	Oh, look at this.
	We've got R2D2.
	And the good thing is, like, one of the greatest bands ever.
	Let's not talk over it and ruin it.
	Your boy loves baseball.
	When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary.
	Oh, the Beatles and Star Wars.
	My two favorite things.
	Let it be.
	And in my arm of darkness, she's standing right in front of me.
	Speaking words of wisdom.
	Let it be.
	It kind of works.
	Yeah, it does.
	It's like Pink Floyd's dark side of the moon.
	And it's kind of like...
	Hey, Luke, just stay home.
	It's going to get real shitty out there.
	They're going to beat your dad.
	He's going to chop your hand off.
	Stay home in fucking that two moon place.
	Luke always wanted to give peace a chance, too.
	Yeah.
	You've got some cool robots.
	Oh, looks like he's choosing not to show this.
	There's a reason.
	That's a shame.
	We're going to cut you off, Matt as hell.
	Here, see what you can do with them.
	I'll be right back.
	So, yeah, we have a lot of fun shows coming out.
	We're talking to Isabella Reilly about a show.
	We're talking to Anna Perez about a show.
	And we're talking to Pat Dixon about a show.
	Nice.
	We'll try them out, see how they do with the viewers, see if any baby monsters are interested.
	If they're not, they're gone.
	And until tomorrow, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	Oh, wait.
	Thanks, Sylvia, for coming.
	Thank you, Phil.
	Thank you.
	Maddie O'Dell for your rapporteur.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Free spirit.
	Free spirit.
	I love it.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.

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