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Aug. 12, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:47:05

S4E153 - PUSSY RIOT

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	I love and detrust you, utterly abhorred you.
	I wish I'd been around to tell your mother to abhor you.
	I wanna have fun.
	I wanna look at you, I need you, look at what you want.
	I wanna have fun, I wanna look at you, money, need to look at you.
	Making all the messages feeling.
	It's so funny when you wait.
	I wanna have fun.
	I wanna get you, funny, nice and make you cry.
	That's a feminist anthem by the Russian activists Pussy Riot.
	They want to hate fuck me, put me on my knees, peg me, I guess, spank my bum.
	The video has a lot of men being beaten.
	And it's a weird kind of feminism, this global feminism.
	Like here in America, what should feminists be concerned with?
	I guess lesbians cutting their tits off is the only cause I would bother with if I was a rampant American feminist.
	In Islam, whole of their ball of wax.
	In other third world countries, I don't know.
	You probably do horrible stuff there.
	And these guys being Russian, I don't know what goes on over there.
	Their big things are they hate the Russian Orthodox Church.
	Okay.
	I don't know much about the Russian Orthodox Church, but I like church.
	I like Christianity.
	They hate Putin.
	Don't know much about him.
	He seems very unpopular with the people I hate, so that makes me like him, but maybe he's a jerk.
	And then they hate the police.
	I like the police here in the West, but I don't know what your police get up to.
	Maybe they rape you on a regular basis.
	So it's, it's, and this is sort of crossover now.
	They're popular here in America, and everyone backs them because they hate Putin and they hate cops.
	But you can't be international with your politics, especially if it's social and pop culture related.
	Look, they're cutting.
	The common symbol with them is to like a knife in an eggplant, which to Italians is very racist.
	They want to kill blacks, I guess.
	Chop black dicks off.
	Moulin Yan.
	Hey, I like those pussy riot chicks.
	There, they're riding a dick.
	Isn't it weird?
	Like, to be a feminist in America is silly.
	To be a feminist in Tehran or Pakistan is fucking brave.
	Like, I'm in awe of you if you're a Muslim feminist.
	Remember that girl who's on the cover of Time?
	She got acid thrown in her face for saying I'd like to go to school?
	Malawi or something?
	But they're doing this weird, cutesy, Americanized music and activism.
	And you're like, I don't, I can't comment.
	This is why I don't give a shit about the non-Western world.
	Mudslide in Sri Lanka.
	Sorry.
	Sucks to be you.
	I don't know what your shit is like.
	Look at this other song, Classic.
	I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
	This song is a totally American song about how we want women to be plastic, little dolls.
	And you're watching it going, uh, we did.
	That's not a thing anymore.
	Like, is that a Stepford wives thing?
	Who wants a woman in 2022 in America to be plastic, a dolly?
	That's a really juvenile way of seeing things.
	Maybe in the 60s, you could argue that.
	Maybe even in the 70s in the suburbs.
	That chick that is the Barbie doll now is so fucking hot, you're going to poop yourself.
	Once again, women take everything political and they just make it into silly fashion.
	Look how hot she is.
	I know she's covered in makeup.
	Oh, shoot, I don't have her YouTube here.
	I mean, her Instagram.
	And then they try.
	Anderson Cooper has them on.
	He sees all this.
	He sees two of the pussy rot girls are in jail because they went to the Russian Orthodox Church and they like pulled their tits out and rubbed blood on themselves.
	And their thing was, we hate that the Russian Orthodox Church is in bed with Putin and they helped influence the election.
	Okay.
	Like, do I back you?
	Or I don't know.
	I don't like women being naked at church and rubbing blood all over themselves and desecrating Christian churches, but maybe the Christian churches over there are full of shit.
	We cannot get involved.
	Sorry.
	Find her Instagram, though.
	Let's just simp out on how hot she is and ignore the politics because we don't have enough context.
	And by the way.
	Of course.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Doy.
	But just click on Pussy Riot in general.
	We hate Russian soldiers.
	And no, no, no, Ryan, just go to the main screen there.
	This chick.
	Wait.
	No, you're wrong again.
	Main screen, pussy riot.
	Okay, just calm down.
	I want to see the grid.
	Okay, grid.
	That's too much makeup.
	I want to show you her without tons of...
	Those girls are the ones that are arrested.
	She seems to be the only one out.
	Those girls are the ones who were, you know, titting up the church.
	We don't need to see them, though.
	I want to show you this chick.
	Yeah, that one.
	Look at that, fucking babe.
	That's a 10.
	That's a 10.
	That's a 10 at a 10.
	Look at that.
	How could you improve upon that?
	That makes me want to move to Russia.
	Be queer, do crime.
	Shut the fuck up.
	She looks very South American.
	Yeah, but I heard her in an interview.
	She's definitely Russian.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Don't rush me.
	Don't mount Rushmore me.
	Look at that one.
	The one I'm hovering on?
	Yes.
	Okay, let's see.
	There she is with big fat lady.
	There she is with McCain who abandoned his family because he was a terrible military guy in a lot of ways.
	But it changed me.
	It actually gave me bigger belief in humanity because I've seen how many people are ready to support those who they never saw in life, who they have no direct connection to.
	And we were receiving letters when we were serving our two years in jail in labor camps from all around the world.
	Whatever shows your tits.
	So that's my new favorite chick, Nadia Tolokanikova.
	But I don't think...
	Oh, look, she does her own do's and don'ts.
	That's something in common, you guys.
	Yeah, we can bond.
	Check out her talking to Anderson Cooper, who's tripping over himself.
	This is 1-3.
	The wrath of Vladimir Putin firsthand is Nadia Tola Kunikova, a founding member of the Russian protest group Pussy Riot.
	She was sentenced to death after an anti-Putin performance.
	She joins me now for the first time here in New York.
	It's so cool to actually meet you.
	We've only talked over satellite and stuff.
	Amazing comediate.
	Yeah.
	So when you look at the war in Ukraine, I mean, obviously there were huge failure.
	What's going on here?
	No, you know.
	You're confusing lust with this burning desire to be cool that the establishment left has.
	That's why you see like that woman with the goat, the devil goat blood rituals.
	You know, the one?
	Yeah.
	All that satanic shit.
	Abramovich.
	It's not because they're satanic.
	It's because they were nerds their whole lives and they finally have money and power and what do they want to do with it?
	Be cool.
	That was why Shane was so successful with Vice Media because he would invite these CEOs to parties.
	And the rest of us, after the meeting was done, we were like, let's get the fuck out of here.
	But, you know, if there was, I remember, I think Battaclan happened or no, it was before that.
	There was some sort of disaster in Paris.
	And Shane would be like, hey, man, are you okay?
	You can come by our chateau if you want to relax.
	It sounds like some crazy shit's going down.
	And they're like, holy shit.
	The cool guys are texting me on a Saturday.
	I'm in the in crowd.
	I'm a somebody.
	I'm not just a nerd with money.
	And that's why he'd get them to sign contracts.
	He pretended to like them.
	And Anderson Cooper here has finally got to sit down with a cool Russian feminist anarcho-rebellion woman.
	And he's not a nerd for two seconds.
	But yes, you are.
	What do you see Vladimir Putin's position, how do you see it right now?
	Is he stronger than ever in Russia?
	I don't feel it like that.
	A lot of experts inside of Russia, they propose to divide this war in two stages, and some people talk of it in about two wars.
	So the first were Putin has lost it because he wanted to capture Kyiv really quickly.
	That was they thought they could do in 12 hours or so, and obviously did not.
	And there are multiple hackers from Billing Hat and other agencies there to try to capture what Russians were talking with each other about.
	Right, that's it.
	I'm a feminist.
	Pussy Riot wins.
	Fuck Putin.
	I'm for whatever she's for.
	Nadia.
	Let's just fucking start the show.
	We've got too much to cover today.
	So little time.
	That's a good point.
	And this is a good moment to embrace feminism.
	But first, I want to bring the monster truck out.
	Of course.
	Get it out here.
	Wait a minute.
	While we're still on that subject, before we really dive into feminism, what happened in the Tower of Babel in the Bible, right?
	We all got too unified.
	We all became global homo, and we got so big we were touching heaven and God went, smited us, and then we became other little groups.
	That's the way it's supposed to be.
	That's what's so great about state autonomy.
	I think mankind was designed to be little mini governments, not one giant one.
	And that's why global activism doesn't work.
	So let's focus exclusively on American feminism and what a complete fucking debacle it is.
	Ryan, hit the feminist bumper.
	Now.
	Here identifies as a feminist.
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how you're behaving.
	So as we've discussed many times, the establishment left is remarkably incompetent, and they lie to us constantly.
	We've got Hunter Biden on Air Force One while Trump's Mar-a-Lago is stormed by the FBI, who then turn it into Al Capone's tomb and find absolutely nothing.
	So they spend the rest of the time dancing around Melania Trump's fucking dressing room, her gigantic closet, trying on various Louis Vuitton shoes.
	And every time they play their hand, you just go, how are you guys the tyrants taking over the world?
	Like at least with Putin, he seems like a worthy adversary.
	Same with all those despots, you know?
	Fidel Castro, Ehiyamin, Mugabe.
	They all seem to be powerful.
	And we have a ship of fools.
	The lunatics are running the asylum.
	Look how pathetic this lie is.
	Pocahontas is on the plane to New Hampshire on the night of the Iowa Caucasus, and she says, Everyone comes up to me and says, I would vote for you if you had a penis.
	Not only did no one say that to her, no one has said that to anyone in the world in world history.
	That sentence is as common as Cheerio's best friend, fire extinguisher, car lover.
	I think I'm the first person to say that sentence.
	For every first Gremulite, und mountain, und Geblangudboop.
	Maybe someone said that.
	You had to make up a word that kills the whole thing.
	I just want to be sure.
	Well, I'm sure with my Cheerios fire extinguisher.
	Hey, man, I think you're great.
	I love what you do.
	I'm a big feminist, but I only vote for people with penises.
	That's just the way I am.
	Click on that article?
	What the fuck?
	That is the worst, stupidest, laziest lie.
	You're going to have to, I almost said apple F. You're going to have to command F to the penis part.
	I got to see this quote.
	I should have pasted it in the notes, but we talked about the dynamics of Iowa, her competitors, and the pressure she put on herself not to screw this up.
	But here and now, she offered her plainest view of the landscape yet.
	Everyone comes up to me and says, I would vote for you if you had a penis.
	Final line on the article, the slam dunk that seals it all.
	So the reason Elizabeth Warren is not more successful is because she doesn't have a phallus.
	If she was a man, she'd be kicking ass and taking names.
	And the irony is that's the opposite.
	The reason she's there is because she's a woman.
	She is milking affirmative action.
	In fact, she tried to milk it more by pretending to be an Indian.
	And the media swallows it.
	Hook, line, and sinker.
	Oh, that happened on your flight?
	Everyone said they wish she had a penis.
	Okay.
	That's going to bookend my article.
	That's going to be how I fucking peace out at the end.
	Because I believe you, and I don't question anything.
	Because I'm not a journalist.
	I'm an activist.
	And this is a PR firm.
	The media is a PR firm.
	And they hate Trump.
	So when Riley Gaines is nervous and in front of a giant audience and Trump goes like this, she doesn't like go, okay, I don't want to.
	So she sort of goes, okay, this is the greeting.
	And the media goes, that was so awkward.
	You know why it was so awkward?
	Not because she's a swimmer who had the balls to speak up and is nervous because half the world loves the shit out of her.
	And when I say world, I mean West.
	The other half wants her dead.
	A lot of tension there.
	So she does a normal kind of a semi-stiff gesture as she gets on the podium and goes, hi.
	But what does the media say?
	Riley Gaines, awkward moment.
	Trump's kiss attempt on swimmer Riley Gaines creates awkward CPAC moment.
	Like she's at CPAC.
	You think she hates Donald Trump?
	Right.
	I got to go to CPAC.
	The only problem was that fucking asshole, greatest conservative in the world, was there.
	I've ever seen.
	Come here.
	Come on up.
	You may be nervous.
	She's been so brave, you know, because a lot of people say you can't talk about it.
	They told me, please don't mention that, sir.
	It's not politically correct.
	And I did about three weeks ago.
	The place went crazy.
	It was the largest applause I've ever heard.
	Come on up here.
	Look at this.
	Look at this.
	Okay, gross.
	I hate you.
	Like, she's like, I don't know.
	Should I do this?
	Do I turn to you?
	I want this to go smoothly.
	And then, of course, she sees all this footage about how grossed out she was.
	1-6.
	And she goes, I think these recent headlines show, you know, how the media is pushing propaganda to fit their narrative.
	Gaines told Fox News Digital, by no means, not even for a second on that stage, was I uncomfortable sharing that space with Trump.
	You know what I think some of it is?
	The fucking loser nerds who see her, she's obviously the archetypal perfect American girl.
	So the beta males who write these liberal articles go, I'll never get her.
	I hate, that's really why they hate Trump.
	They hate this sort of cool guy in crowd, alpha male, frat boy, all-American, red-blooded male.
	They hate that because that guy isn't them.
	And similarly, when they see the hot blonde, they want to shit on her or at least see her reject others too.
	And then the fatties who write these articles, they're like, she hates it.
	She's in hell.
	She's not having a great time.
	There's so much resentment.
	It's fucking modern media is revenge of the nerds.
	That's what hatred for Trump is really about.
	I hate 80s white males.
	So they're going to arrest him.
	You know why they're going to arrest him?
	Like, I'm sitting here saying there's no substance to their allegations, but they actually have a lot of substance.
	It's not just this petty daddy issues, anti-male shit, anti-toxic masculinity.
	It's actually based on real crimes.
	For example, this guy's got a good list of them.
	Arrest a former president for not turning and doctor.
	I'm not a former president that had committed this many provable criminal acts.
	But what are the provable criminal acts, I guess?
	Provable criminal acts.
	Well, I'm just, I'm done talking.
	Is this unprecedented?
	The guy asking those questions, I think, is a baby monster, by the way, at Newsmax.
	Nice.
	1-8.
	And remember Tish James, the woman who's investigating Trump?
	I know we're drifting from feminism.
	We'll get back to it.
	And we're like, why is she so obsessed with auditing Trump and bringing Trump to trial and Prosecuting him for some sort of, I don't know, economic crimes.
	There's nothing there.
	He's pleading the fifth, so she's not going to get anything.
	The reason she's doing that is because that's what she ran on.
	That's her entire existence.
	I'm going to sue Trump.
	Please sue him.
	I'm going to be a real idiot.
	I will never be afraid to challenge this illegitimate president.
	We need to focus on Donald Trump.
	We need to follow his money.
	He's building my soul right now.
	It's Trump.
	Is that...
	That's got to be unprecedented.
	An attorney general who ran on suing the president.
	That's definitely never happened before.
	That's weird.
	Hey, Attorney General, I want you to make the streets safer.
	For example, we have a massive influx of black on Asian crime that's not being dealt with.
	Go to 2.8.
	Hey, Attorney General, could you deal with this?
	We have, there seems to be a race war on, but because whites aren't involved, it's not reported.
	So there's black on yellow crime.
	In the southwest of America, there's a massive black on brown war.
	But this guy, who sees an old Asian guy as easy prey, decides to tear him a new ass, beat the living shit out of him.
	Not a hate crime.
	You know what?
	I'm actually open to the possibility it isn't totally a hate crime in the sense that this guy was too dumb to think of like Asia, China, whatever.
	He was just like, Asians are easy prey.
	I'm going to beat them up.
	The same way you would beat up a Hasidic Jew or an old lady or a handicapped person.
	No offense, elderly Asians, but you're not known for retaliation, which I think is unfortunate.
	I wish you were.
	That's why we showed that dude the other day who tackled the lunatic who was punching people.
	All right, sorry.
	Resteer the ship here.
	This is a good Twitter to follow all things.
	Asians fighting back and, you know, just seeing how they get attacked.
	Asian don't.
	Wait, I saw that video that you just scrolled by.
	That was Asians?
	Machete Willing Man ran over and beaten in Hawaii.
	He wasn't beaten by Asians.
	Was he?
	I think Asians are like 50% of the population over there.
	Oh, so if you see someone beating someone up, it's usually Asians kicking ass.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, show the video.
	It's a cool video.
	Okay.
	He smashes his machete on the ground, ready to kill people, and it does not go great for him soon after that.
	I don't know what that is.
	The man building a machete last night in Chinatown.
	It's a story, Keon Good.
	Chinatown is half of the island of Hawaii.
	In Hawaii, otherwise known as Chinatown Island.
	The man waving a machete in Baratania Street Monday night has been apprehended by HPD.
	He was seen by venereal warts?
	Everyone's fighting back.
	Even Venereal Warts.
	Okay, watch this.
	You're dead, motherfuckers.
	No, we're not dead.
	You're dead.
	Oh, you got...
	I had the video somewhere.
	It might even be in my...
	I almost included it in my final vids.
	We got to see the actual one.
	It was in the mailbag.
	See if you can dig it up, Brian.
	Well, you're not going to have time.
	Alright, we'll dig that up.
	Maybe if you look in the mailbag under machete.
	I think I got it right here.
	But let's see which one, like, uncensored, like, total best one.
	The Chinese one is probably going to smash the subscribe.
	Oh, no, I saw a blur.
	I don't want any blurring.
	It's the kind of thing that you'd want to see on Reddit.
	There's a lot of machines versus cars.
	Yeah, that's not the way to look at it.
	We have to watch this now.
	We're totally killing the show.
	Huge detour.
	I'm going to have to do it because I'm better at your job than you.
	So.
	Watch it on YouTube.
	It's going to be a stupid news clip.
	Apparently, methamphetamine.
	Here we go.
	Ryan, I told you to check the mailbag and look up machete.
	It's like the fifth.
	It's maybe the 15th email down, and it says, man armed with machete gets hit by a car.
	Why can't you follow my instructions?
	Got it.
	That's just the beginning.
	And then they spray him.
	Did they spray him?
	Wait, go back.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	And then a knockout.
	It keeps getting better, though.
	Check this out.
	They're lighting him up.
	Love to see it.
	Love to see it.
	I love to see people taking care of business.
	That guy was clearly a fucking psychoasso, right?
	He's coming at them with a machete.
	Some stranger rams him with the car.
	Then they're doing a great job of fighting with the tripping and the kicking in the head and the punching.
	And they're lighting him up all over his body, which I always love to see.
	I hate when it's just the head.
	Get some ribs in there, do some long-term damage.
	He's delirious.
	He's probably concussed now, but he's trying to get out of there.
	No, it's not happening.
	You're not getting out of there, meth head.
	Definitely a meth head, right?
	And then watch this.
	He gets hit, but not hit.
	Oh, shit.
	Oh, I guess that's the car that hit him.
	I don't know.
	He seemed to get hit by an invisible car.
	And he's just done here.
	And then the cops show up and they start questioning people.
	Oh, shit, I'm shaking.
	Anyway, sorry.
	This is about feminism, people.
	Let's get back to feminism.
	So, some German chick working for my old alma mater vice decided to show the world.
	And how many times have we fucking seen this?
	To show the world the beauty of shithole Pakistan.
	This American blogger was showing an unseen Pakistan, then she was gang raped.
	It's funny too, because usually in these articles, they try to spin it and go like, a freak occurrence happened and Nazis are using it to justify their disgusting bigotry.
	But this is like probably a friend of the person writing.
	So when your friend's raped, you tend to be a little more honest.
	A conservative is a liberal who got raped.
	An honest article is about your friend who was raped.
	The audacious assault of an American woman in Pakistan is disrupting a narrative created by Western influencers that the country is safe for women.
	It's disrupting a narrative.
	That narrative is in tatters.
	That narrative is fucking destroyed.
	That narrative, the narrative that the Muslim world is safe for women, we just saw it.
	It had a machete and it was approaching people and it got hit by a car, it got pepper sprayed, and it's got its ass beat in three different locations, and then it got hit by a car again.
	That's how the narrative is doing.
	So this whole article for vice is pretty honest.
	And it goes, this woman, German-American woman, goes there and fucking, she's furious, of course.
	But here's her angle.
	This was so bad, me trying to press charges.
	This was so impossible for me as a rich woman.
	Imagine how bad it is for the poor women of Pakistan.
	And you're like, yeah.
	I never doubted for a nanosecond that it sucks to be a woman in Pakistan.
	It sucks to be a person in Pakistan.
	It sucks to be a Muslim in Pakistan.
	Look at this guy.
	That's the guy.
	And they say it was audacious.
	When you hear the treatment she got trying to press charges, it doesn't sound very audacious at all.
	It sounds very conformist.
	I was in the same clothes for nearly three days.
	At the hospital, RP said she was subjected to the two-finger test, which was declared unconstitutional by Pakistan Supreme Court last year.
	Oh, they're getting modernized.
	Fingering a woman who was raped to see if she was raped, that's ancient.
	We haven't done that since 2021.
	Old news.
	This is a 2022 Pakistan.
	And we've stopped doing the upside-down jogger every time a woman gets raped.
	She added that even though she had bruises on her body, the medical practitioner didn't mention them in the medico-legal report.
	Her DNA test came out on July 28th, confirming the rape 11 days after it happened.
	Now, normally, wait, go to the poll quote, though, of that article.
	I found it particularly annoying.
	Look it up.
	What we're seeing in Pakistan is travel colonialism.
	It's when white influencers come to developing countries to exploit the people's biases to make a good bang for their bucks.
	So now they're shitting on her?
	I don't even get that poll quote.
	Oh, look, our boy Nas.
	Last year, Nas Daily, a Waltham Barra-Israeli blogger, shut down his operations in the Philippines after his company was accused of profiting off an indigenous tattoo artist.
	Oh, shut up.
	When women come here, they get raped.
	And rape is a form of sex that the woman doesn't necessarily know is happening.
	Thanks, Nas.
	Lots of people all around the world love rape.
	It is the number one way to have sex in the third world.
	And it used to be very popular in the West a thousand years ago.
	Now, it's mostly black guys.
	It's called pigeon sex.
	Like regular sex, but way easier because only one person has to decide.
	Way cheaper.
	You don't have to buy dinner or nothing.
	Problem is, you go to jail.
	And it's really good workout, too.
	When you're done raping, you have to run away.
	Like a parkour guy.
	And the girls love it, especially in Pakistan, because after they get some sweet rapist cock, they get to go to the police and get fingered.
	Oh, Nas.
	Let's go back over some more geniuses who tried this out.
	Like our favorite is Pippa Becka.
	I don't know if you have a New York Times paywall.
	They always make her picture small for some strange reason.
	They don't want you to focus on the person.
	So this is a woman who said, I'm sick of people saying Muslims are racist and that Turkey and all these other sort of Muslim European places are dangerous for women.
	So what I'm going to do is I'm going to wear a wedding dress and I'm going to go through Turkey, through all these places, and show you how totally rad they are.
	Go to Sarajevo.
	And not only did she get raped, she was dismembered and burned.
	Her naked body was found in some bushes near a Turkish village.
	Although an official cause of death has not been given, local Turkish authorities said she's been raped and strangled.
	And of course, there was the Somali-Canadian journalist, Hodam Nalaya, who noticed that Somalia was getting a bad rap.
	People were saying that Mogadishu isn't a great place for a woman to go.
	Right?
	Why do people say that?
	I'll tell you why.
	Because Somalia is not a good place for women to go.
	Well, she wanted to prove you wrong, so she did a little Instagram blog.
	Not a book or anything substantial.
	The IQs of Somalians don't really allow for book writing.
	But she decided to just do some Instagram pictures of her having some dumb fucking Somalian coffee that probably gives you explosive diarrhea and taking picture of a nice boat.
	And here's some birds flying in a circle.
	It's probably not even real.
	And then what happened?
	Raped to death.
	Turns out that she ended up proving exactly what she was out to disprove.
	Exactly like Arabella Arpy, exactly like Pippa Beca, and exactly Like our friend Amanda Kijera in Haiti.
	This is a very famous one.
	This article is very hard to find, but this woman went to Haiti to talk about how they are wrongly portrayed.
	I believe Port-au-Prince is the rape capital of the world.
	South Africa is, as far as countries go, is the number one rape spot.
	But if you want to get raped in a city, check out Port-au-Prince.
	And she's famous, of course, for while she was being raped, pointing out that she's a Malcolm X scholar.
	Probably in English, probably to a unilingual French person in Haiti, because that's what they speak there.
	Because the only time they had anything going on was when the French were ruling it.
	And then some dumb bitch suggested that the Haitians don't get a Sunday off, the slaves, and they can't worship their God, which was a dumb move.
	They all went ballistic, and they murdered every man, woman, and child on the island.
	All the white people drank their blood from their skulls, fucked the babies, beheaded them, threw their limbs at each other, tortured them to death.
	Brutal massacre.
	But because they were slaves and it was to rich slave owners, fuck them.
	All right, that's it for chicks.
	Let's jump over to LGBTQ for a second before we do a green screen about the 10 things I learned living in the South for two days.
	Why are you gay?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	I never eat the poop, but we have a very good relationship.
	You don't want to feel close to the picture of my haters because you hate damage.
	You ugly.
	Can I just take a moment here to discuss my shoes?
	Of course.
	Is that okay?
	These are Clarks.
	I don't know the name of them per se, but when you look up Clark's, I don't know, Brogues, you'll get these.
	They are the most insanely comfortable shoe I have ever owned in my life.
	I have them in brown and black.
	I'm going to get them in white for my white suit.
	They weigh about as much as a stick of gum.
	I honestly think I could run a marathon in these.
	My J. Crew brogues or wingtips or whatever you call these are, I've had to have them resold twice.
	They're pretty clunky and they hurt your feet after a while.
	But these fucking things are the most comfortable shoe I've ever owned in my life, including jogging sneakers.
	See if you can find it.
	Is that the unhew lace?
	Are you blind?
	It has a white sole shit for brains.
	It's pretty easy to find.
	Just find the one with the white sole.
	No, I don't think it's that one.
	It doesn't have the brown thing.
	Keep going.
	Clarks has some real stinkers.
	Seems to be all for dress shoes.
	Really?
	Well, see, this skew has a white and also not white sole.
	Yeah, but that's not the shoe.
	This has the wingtip shit on it.
	The broguing.
	Anyway, I can't recommend it enough.
	It's the most comfortable thing I've ever had on my feet, including the time I f foot-fucked a prostitute.
	Ow.
	Just to show you how mainstream this drag queen thing is, and this is going to segue into the war on kids, because we're normalizing this shit.
	And it started out as a funny joke, but now it's getting dark.
	Because I don't think drag queens are all groomers that want to fuck kids.
	But just like Antifa opens the door to violent people who want to stab you while wearing a mask, the drag shit opens the door to predatory pedophiles, predatory pedophiles, who want to fuck kids.
	So we don't want to condemn you all and throw you in jail.
	We just want you to stop doing that and get it away from kids because though you might be innocent, you're attracting some ne'er-do-wells.
	So let's start with the innocent.
	Trixie Mattel.
	Now, Mattel's a kid's toy thing.
	That's a very kid-like name.
	So turn that up.
	Hi, it's me, International Drag Superstar Trixie Mattel, coming to you live from wherever we are.
	When I'm on tour, I find myself accessing the internet from a lot of different places.
	Sounds like a dude.
	Yeah, it does.
	Slightly gay dude.
	Hotels, motels, coffee shops, gyms, libraries.
	And I worry that somebody might get access to my password because it's 1234.
	That's why I rely on Google's two-step verification.
	It double-checks when I log in to prove that it's me.
	So even if a hacker does steal my password, they can't get into my Google account.
	It's easy.
	Just tap and you're in.
	Sorry, my account is very secure.
	This hotel, you're on.
	One more look, just to be safe.
	I knew it.
	Gorgeous.
	Turn on two-step verification for your Google account today.
	How gorgeous is it?
	Isn't that a parody of women?
	It's fucking female blackface.
	And then part two of normalizing this.
	Here's a fun sabbatical for police officers just to recalibrate.
	Just don't show everything yet.
	Hold on, Ryan.
	Go back to that.
	Go back to it, but don't show the picture.
	Don't show the picture.
	Introducing the sabbatical program for veteran officers in River City, California.
	Couldn't agree with this more.
	It's brutal work.
	You know, the suicide rate, for a while there, I think it was last year, we had an NYPD suicide, both newly retired and in service, of an officer a month blowing his or her head off.
	So yeah, let's give these guys a break.
	Police work can be stressful in an effort to keep our officers from getting burned out.
	Chief Sherris introduced the sabbatical program.
	After 10 years of service, officers can take off six months to recharge their batteries.
	We found this makes for friendlier officers.
	Here, Officer Pat Smoth, she, her, sounds pretty.
	A lot of cops can be kind of hot.
	And here in New York, they tend to be Puerto Rican, tend to have remarkably fat asses and be remarkably short.
	But, you know, sometimes female officers are hot.
	She's enjoying her sabbatical at Lake Shassa, so I guess she's been a cop for 10 years.
	You can see how happy she is enjoying this time to get more connected with nature.
	Ooh, I can't wait to check her out.
	She's probably in a bikini.
	Do you have a boner yet, Ryan?
	Yeah.
	Why don't you start beating off now so we can keep the show going and you just ejaculate as we pull up the picture?
	Okay.
	I'll just edge right up, up, get to the edge.
	I'm there.
	And let's check out this cop who's ready to go.
	All right.
	Oh, my.
	Cam still going.
	If you had any doubts, there's some confirmation bias in the pouch.
	Okay, hold on up.
	Because when you first hit, you're like, maybe it's just an ugly broad whose tits are very far apart.
	What the fuck?
	This is them showing.
	Like, it's not even just a tranny on the beach.
	They're showing us his bizarre dick pouch.
	This is not Photoshopped, folks.
	This is the River City Police Department sending out pornography.
	Gay porn.
	It's satanic.
	And Satan has made it pretty clear that he doesn't like this kind of shit.
	Satan doesn't hate fags.
	God doesn't hate fags.
	What?
	What are you waiting?
	Oh, no.
	We live in a crazy world knowing I have to.
	What about it is Photoshopped?
	I don't understand.
	Well, the photos come from something else.
	Oh, okay.
	So all that's intact?
	Yeah.
	And now that's that.
	Well, without the pictures, the whole thing's a complete waste of time.
	And I'm sorry for wasting your time, folks.
	That's not who I am.
	And that's not what this network is.
	He's right, though.
	And if I'm not here on Monday and I've been let go, I want you to know that I had a great time trying to provide you with the best news possible.
	And do we make mistakes?
	Yes, we just made one.
	And you saw it here live.
	I should have known it was kind of odd that a police department was releasing child porn, or sorry, gay porn.
	I screwed up.
	And I really hope I have a job here still.
	And I really hope we don't lose you as a subscriber, even if I am fired.
	Anyway, God doesn't hate fags.
	God doesn't hate fags.
	Satan doesn't hate fags.
	But both of them are not nuts about four-day piss orgies where you rip your ass so severely that there's flaps of skin hanging out of your prolapse anus like a skin-colored hula skirt.
	Grass skirt, I meant to say.
	I see, I'm thrown off by our terrible reporting.
	And, you know, here's the thing I've been thinking about a lot recently.
	We talk about God all the time and nature.
	It's the same fucking thing.
	So if you're an atheist, substitute every time I say God into nature and you have the same argument.
	God is nature.
	So atheists believe in God.
	Now, you can get into the minutiae of the Bible and say, Abel didn't do this and all that.
	Like, that's just one group trying to wrap their heads around what happened.
	And they are, to the best of their ability, saying, this is what's going on with God.
	I think the cargo cult, where they worship planes, is a very bad attempt to understand what's going on with the big guy.
	But the big guy's there.
	And nature doesn't like it when you have five-day orgies.
	So what's Satan in this analogy?
	I guess it's like anti-nature.
	Nature fighting back.
	Siblings have sex and they make a retard.
	That's nature saying, don't do that.
	You can say it's God saying, don't do that.
	Same thing.
	So this is an interesting clip that's no longer available.
	And it is a guy saying, monkeypox feels like you are Satan's puppet.
	And for the atheists out there, you are anti-nature's puppet.
	That is an open wound.
	And every single time you go to the bathroom, it feels like Satan himself is reaching up inside you and saying, hello, you're my puppet now.
	Monkey Pox.
	Wait, wait, zoom out.
	Zoom out.
	Monkey Pox feels like you're Satan's puppet.
	I'm going to dress up like Satan and say, I bet hell is fabulous.
	No, it hurts.
	It hurts your dick.
	All right, let's go to the war on kids.
	Let's go to the moron kids, those stupid kids.
	We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
	So we're in a strange era, folks, where I used to have a separate segment for LGBTQIA.
	Q is queer.
	Isn't there one for questioning?
	There should be two Qs.
	And I is intersex and A is asexual.
	Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, intersectional, asexual.
	Intersexual.
	Queer and intersexual means I haven't decided what letter I am yet.
	You shouldn't get a letter then.
	Like, there's no sports team for guys who haven't chosen a team yet.
	What's your favorite baseball team?
	I'm questioning it.
	No.
	It could be LGBTQ2.
	So then there's two Qs.
	And then there's a plus two?
	There's way too many options.
	It should be lesbian, gay, by trans, and then Q is question, is queer.
	LGBTQ.
	I can't believe I'm a conservative and I'm saying that.
	I would like to reduce it to those groups.
	Please, please.
	You're just lesbian, gay.
	What kind of gay are you?
	I'm a trans gay.
	Well, they don't say that, though.
	They say I'm straight.
	Or I'm a les.
	It'll be me with long hair And I get to keep my beard, and I'm like, I'm a Les.
	I just happen to have a strap on attached to my body.
	Okay, that's me.
	Me too.
	Like my favorite couple, Gigi and Getty, where they're a straight couple who have convinced themselves that they're some sort of trans.
	She fucks her wife in husband in his pussy using her cock.
	How about you just fuck your wife with your dick and you're like glam and she's a tomboy?
	No, I have to cut his tit her tits off.
	I don't think Gigi Gorgeous has had any surgery.
	And his poor girlfriend has to have her tits cut off.
	Anyway, that's a whole other thing.
	So this is pretty heavy.
	The whole trans thing has been a shit show since day one.
	And the National Association of Pediatricians, the American Association, AA, has been saying this.
	Files expose how U.S. pediatricians accuse their own professional body of pushing a harmful drugs-first approach on trans deans and of deliberately blocking moves to change the rules.
	So you, within this community, you have all these normal fucking doctors saying, let's not do this.
	You know, the drug they give them to prevent puberty is the same drug we used to use to chemically castrate pedophiles.
	Now, there's all kinds of horrific side effects.
	Uh-oh, Ann Hatch is dead.
	There's all kinds of horrific side effects.
	And back when it was just for pedophiles, we'd be like, what?
	What now?
	The drug that you gave the pedophile so he wouldn't fuck kids.
	It's made him go bald, and he's sterile now, and he has a horrible rash on his ass.
	Okay.
	And?
	But when it's a kid who now is infertile and has all kinds of development issues, then it's bad.
	Go down a bit.
	They show you too.
	Did they show the examples of people done?
	So that's the leaked document.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	We've been trying to fight this.
	That's the woman who's fighting.
	She's totally ostracized for daring to question.
	And all she's saying is, can we reconvene and have some sort of a conference to discuss the pros and cons of this?
	Because it seems like we're running away.
	We're putting the cart before the horse here.
	Go ahead.
	And it's so few doctors are willing to speak out because they don't want to lose their careers.
	Like, isn't the Hippocratic oath that you'll do no harm?
	If you are allowing children to be brutalized, then you're violating the Hippocratic Oath.
	So that chick on the left with the beard, no, below that, that was a chick, then it was a dude, and now on the right, that's the chick now back to chick form.
	But who knows what she's done to her tits, the hormones, long-term hormones, and then this one, Chloe Cole above, she's pretty famous where she was a woman, she became that weird-looking Asian tomboy, and now she's back to a chick again.
	Her short-lived transition into being a boy was a mistake, and years of treatment from age 13 onwards took a huge toll on her body.
	I was talking to a hockey player last night who had kidney stones when he was 20.
	He had cancer, stage 4 cancer.
	He survived all kinds of these horrific diseases all at a young age.
	And I found that he was taking steroids, like injecting steroids into himself when he was a teenager because he was a big hockey star.
	That's just steroids.
	And we saw what steroids did to pro-wrestlers and cops who lose and end up killing themselves and their family.
	That's just steroids.
	This is way more intense.
	You're infertile.
	Who knows what kind of cancers we're giving these kids down the line?
	And then, of course, very few of them go, all right, thanks, I'm fixed now, especially with this exchange operation.
	So we know it's bad, right?
	We're all on the same page.
	Now let's focus on these parents pushing it.
	Here's a mom pushing it.
	This is an amazing clip.
	And I've seen this more than once.
	We don't have this clip, but you might remember this really ugly Canadian dad.
	He looks like a flapper.
	He's got a short bob, and he's sitting on the bed in some sort of flapper dress with his daughter.
	And he's saying, so when we talk about gender, we don't necessarily go with the body we were born with, right?
	And the kid is like, four.
	And she's like, no, it doesn't matter if you're a boy or you feel like a boy.
	And he's like, right.
	And if you're born a girl, but you feel like a boy, then you can be a boy, right?
	And the kid's like, yeah, I remember you saying shit like that.
	It's really tedious, but okay.
	Can I leave now?
	Why is a camera in our house, by the way?
	This is weird.
	And you look like a fucking goon.
	You look like a moron.
	You look like an asshole.
	What are you doing?
	Is this a Halloween party?
	You know you don't look like a woman, right?
	No, that's not what we agreed to talk about.
	We agreed to talk about how you're trans and I'm trans and trans is wonderful.
	Check out another example of this.
	Nine-year-old Kieran Clausen collects crystals.
	She dabbles in face paint and she loves sports.
	What do you play?
	I did play volleyball, soccer, and I want to play basketball.
	To Kieran, who's transgender, it's not about racking up victories.
	I don't want to win any trophies for it, though.
	I feel like that's the most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.
	What's it about?
	Did you catch that?
	Don't worry, it gets a little clearer.
	Wow.
	Yes, I did.
	Okay.
	You don't have to rewind.
	I told you.
	By the way, have you noticed, like, the kid hasn't even formed his speech yet.
	He's still talking about Vollibal and saying that cheesebogo and that guy's a joke.
	But yeah, you can choose your gender.
	You can't pronounce it, but you can choose it.
	Most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.
	What's it about?
	Having fun with your friend before it, though.
	I feel like that's the most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.
	Kieran seems undeterred.
	Keep going with a message about her journey.
	Never stop being you.
	That's it.
	Never stop being you.
	There's so many kids that don't even have the opportunity to join this.
	That's just who they really are.
	We are acknowledging more people as who they are than taking something away from somebody else.
	You know what scares the shit out of me is losing custody.
	Not with my kids, but in general, you, when you're getting divorced and you get one of these fucking bullshit judges like the one Alex Jones got, and the wife says, he doesn't recognize that our kid is trans, and he keeps deadnaming her.
	And then the judge goes, well, fuck that.
	That's child abuse.
	You can never see that kid again.
	How do you compete with that?
	And I've seen this happen a million times.
	And not just with, you always assume it's the man.
	But I saw it with a woman.
	There was a woman who was losing custody of her kids because she refused to play the trans game.
	It's not a game you want to play.
	Avoid it at all costs.
	4-1.
	We have some dude who was teaching elementary school, turns out to be a pedophile.
	You know, why did a young man, a weird-looking but relatively handsome young man, want to be an elementary school teacher?
	That's why I'm uncomfortable around male flight attendants that aren't gay or male nurses.
	Don't you want to do the cool thing, like be the principal?
	Bring back old ladies.
	I remember my daughter's first kindergarten teacher when we lived in Brooklyn, PS84.
	And they were like, it's show and tell day.
	My daughter's going to bring in some Ho-Chunk Indian stuff.
	And the nice old lady was like, oh, that sounds exciting.
	Your daughter's going to bring some of her treasures.
	Hey, sweetie, are you bringing your treasures tomorrow?
	My wife and I would always joke about our daughter's treasures.
	That's normal.
	We used to have normal fat kindergarten teachers.
	Well, not Ryan.
	He had some big black woman who would sit on him every time he misbehaved.
	That's true.
	That's weird.
	There was a room for it, right?
	That's sitting on the little boy room.
	It was in the back of the class.
	And they had the prize box back there.
	And eventually I found it.
	What are you smoking there?
	A faggot stick?
	It's a piece of wood.
	It's got some essential oils in the tip.
	I got some essential oils in my tip.
	Really?
	Why don't you suck...
	I got some essential oils in my tip, Greg.
	Can you milk me?
	I'll give him a shot.
	So this is your quitting vaping by shoving bamboo up in your mouth?
	Essential oils.
	You have a PhD in being annoying.
	You never seem to amaze me, as P. Diddy would say.
	I have my mastic gum from a Greek island, an annoying town.
	No, it's a regular place.
	And then here's a woman saying, we need to normalize pedophilia.
	It's not that bad.
	They don't all fuck kids.
	That's the bright side.
	And I'm a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist in Erie, Pennsylvania.
	And today I want to talk about minor attracted persons.
	And I want to talk about minor attracted persons because they are probably the most vilified population of folks in our culture.
	Yeah, why is that?
	And most folks are making incorrect assumptions about them without actually knowing much about them.
	And those assumptions create harm for an already marginalized population.
	Already marginalized.
	You may have noticed that I'm using the term minor attracted persons, sometimes abbreviated to maps.
	Instead of the more commonly used...
	Why are people who fuck kids so vilified?
	Look at the quote from pedophile.
	Oh, quote unquote.
	Instead of the more commonly used term, pedophile.
	What?
	She's a demon.
	What?
	She's from hell.
	She's visiting.
	She's at an Airbnb right now visiting from hell.
	And I'm doing this because the term pedophile has moved from being a diagnostic label to being a judgmental, hurtful insult that we hurl at people in order to harm them or slander them.
	When was it a cheery little clinical term that no one had any judgment with?
	Fucking kids has always been bad.
	There's been a couple societies that allowed it throughout history and they immediately burned to the ground, like Rome.
	Commonly used term pedophile.
	And I'm doing this because the term pedophile has moved from being a diagnostic label to being a judgmental, hurtful insult that we hurl at people in order to harm them or slander them.
	I also prefer person-first language that recognizes that any label we might apply to a person is only part of who they are.
	How about I apply the label demon to you?
	And I think pedophile is too kind.
	It should be pre-shot in the face.
	And of course, the academics love this shit.
	We've got an academic here talking about how to get into the mind of a map.
	While he was doing his research, he started jerking off to young boys.
	I wanted to understand how my research participants experienced sexual pleasure when reading Shota, a Japanese genre of self-published erotic comics that features young boy characters.
	I therefore started reading the comics in the same way as my research participants had told me that they did it while masturbating.
	In this research note, I tried to find that guy in the sex registry because this guy's definitely a pedophile.
	Allegedly.
	And so you wonder what the fuck is going on here.
	And Conceptual James is a Great guy to check in on.
	He's on Elijah Schaefer's show.
	And Conceptual James is recently banned for coining the hashtag OKGroomer.
	So, why are you vilified if you are wary of pedophilia and want to protect children from it?
	Let's let Conceptual James explain.
	What the hell is happening, and how did you go from shedding light on some of the sickest and most perverted people being held accountable in our country to that being a crime and you getting punished for it?
	Well, you know, I get asked this question all the time.
	Can you shed light on what's happening?
	And I always answer with the same word.
	It's annoying to a lot of people, but the word is communism.
	What's happening is communism.
	Communism has known for over 100 years that you sexualize the children if you want to get a revolution.
	Of course, you render the children useless after the revolution, so you have to do away with them after they've been used for their purposes.
	But what's happening is that there's a rampant attempt to hide behind LGBT people to push an agenda of Marxist grooming through what they call queer theory.
	And it has a humongous corporate protection racket around it and media protection racket around it, including from Media Matters.
	And Twitter is actively complicit in the protection of the sexualizing of children through queer ideology, which is extremely alarming, extremely concerning.
	And probably I refer to this as them crossing the uncrossable line.
	So I think it's going to also be their downfall in the end.
	But you said at the beginning of this discussion that, in fact, that this is them taking an L. By banning me, by banning a word, they're admitting that that word is somehow something they don't want people talking about.
	So they're admitting there's something to it.
	So they're taking an L. What this does when they approve things that are obviously horrible.
	Can you clarify what the hell is happening and how did you go grammarical mistakes in those subtitles?
	All right, so that's pretty heady and depressing and scary.
	But the good news is it shows us that we're right to be wary of this random Google ad where this guy, this drag queen, is talking about how he has to protect his password.
	Because that is drag queen story hour.
	That leaks into academia.
	We have all these academics talking about maps.
	And we have academics masturbating a kiddo porn and getting arrested with kiddie porn.
	And so when we, as Conceptual James points out, when we realize the grand scheme of things, the major plan here, grand plan, is our Marxist revolution, we realize we were right about all that other shit.
	And it feels good to be right in every sense of the word.
	But let's clean the palette with a fun little green screen.
	Hey, dudes, I'm an expert on all things southern.
	I've been there at least three times.
	I recently spent over two days there.
	I went to Alabama when we decided to sue the SPLC.
	By the way, no progress on that.
	Still sitting on the judge's lap.
	Probably sit there forever.
	There's this one judge that the SPLC always seems to get.
	So we thought, there's an angle.
	Let's try to find out why that happens.
	Is that something we could prosecute?
	I don't know.
	Investigate.
	But it's still sitting there, rotting.
	That's one way to deal with justice.
	Not exactly Swift.
	Anyway, so I learned some stuff there.
	I've been to Florida many times.
	There's some controversy on whether Florida is the South.
	But I'm looking to buy a place in Greenville, South Carolina, even though the prices are fucking insane.
	That'll be $1.2 million, please.
	But on Zillow, it was $600,000 in 2020.
	Yeah, it's gone up.
	It's gone up 100% in two years?
	I'd feel like a dunce if I bought that.
	Anyway, let's just dive right in here to 10 things I learned about the South.
	Number one, in new Jews.
	Now, I have been living amongst Hasidic Jews my entire adult life.
	I moved to Montreal in 1988, Mile End.
	I was by Outremont there, Outremont Bagel, I used to work at.
	Then I moved upstate for a while.
	I had a place upstate, not far from Curious Joel.
	Saw them everywhere.
	Then I was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
	They've always been my landlords.
	We get along great.
	I sort of see them as Amish.
	They're weird, and I get that.
	But you'd have to be weird to preserve a culture like this.
	They're just like the Amish to me.
	And it's, wait, why are you going back to this?
	I can switch to this.
	And I think it's funny because when you talk to, not Hasids, that's a pretty intense version of Jews.
	Or even Orthodox too, the ones who just wear the Yamakas like Ben Shapiro.
	But when you talk to more secular Jews, they go, whew, the South, yeah, they don't like me down there, not a bit.
	And I'm like, dude, I've never met one that's ever thought of you.
	Like in Greenville, there's a church more than once a block.
	It's sort of like bars in like a cop town upstate.
	And there's no synagogues, no temples.
	I started asking Southerners, have you, like, how many Jews have you met?
	And they go, I've never met a Jew.
	I've never come across one.
	I've never seen a synagogue, never seen a temple.
	They don't talk about Jews ever.
	It's sort of like with the gays when I moved to the suburbs and I was like, so what does the gay community feel about this particular measure?
	And they're like, the WHO community?
	What are gays?
	I'm realizing now that I've had a pretty, I guess the word is secluded adult life.
	Being so urban in Montreal and New York gives you a distorted view of what cities are like because there are no secular Jews, Orthodox Jews, or Hasidic Jews in the South.
	And it's not anti-Semitic down there.
	They don't talk about Jews.
	Every time you hear Jews up here, they're like, yeah, I don't like the Jews.
	We got someone from New York City reading the New York Times.
	That's not a thing.
	They never say any of that.
	It's the same way the suburbanites feel about gays.
	Number two, the friendliness is insane.
	It's bizarre.
	I told you the other day about how I was looking at this house and I go, that's a beautiful house, man.
	What a great combination of old and new.
	And the guy that was driving me around goes, you should say something.
	And he Pulls over his car.
	Now, if you were in New York and you said, nice Brownstone, they would go, Are you threatening me?
	Are you casing the joint?
	Are you picking a fight?
	But in the South, you pull over someone and you go, Hey, nice Brownstone, or Brownstone, nice house.
	And they go, Thanks.
	But I'd never done anything like that before.
	So I went to the window and went, Hey, nice house that you have.
	He's like, Thanks a lot, buddy.
	People were waving to me.
	I noticed at one point, this was the craziest one.
	Someone's waving at me and I can't see because their truck has tinted glass.
	We're not alone on a dark fucking southern road in the middle of nowhere.
	We're in downtown.
	I didn't cross in front of him or anything.
	I'm just near him.
	And then I can make out through the tint.
	He's like, hey, hey guy, what are you doing there?
	I told you some dude fucking told me I had a great outfit on.
	I was wearing a t-shirt and khakis.
	You say hi a lot down there.
	And it's disarming if you're coming from New York where it's just, fuck you.
	Robert De Niro's face is like this because you get that face just constantly being like, no, no, we're not doing that.
	No.
	And by the way, when you're going through these, you'll notice they're all related.
	Like everyone has a gun.
	Everyone goes to church.
	There's a sense of happiness when you all believe in God together.
	And one little thing I want to say to the southerners, you keep saying how you'll fucking fight the drop of a hat.
	Yeah, New Yorkers and Midwesterners, hockey people, we're very familiar with fighting.
	You're not unique in that sense.
	You're definitely unique with the gun stuff, but the whole like, I'll fucking fight.
	Yeah.
	Gangs.
	We're familiar with fighting.
	Number three, no swearing.
	I noticed when I was talking to people in my normal voice, and I'd be like, this fucking cunt shows up, and she's the shittiest piece of fucking anal garbage.
	And as I'm talking, I can see them sort of blink like firecrackers are going off.
	They're not enjoying the way I talk.
	They're not complaining.
	They don't say, could you stop that with the language, please?
	They just sort of go, oh, okay, I'm not familiar.
	The meanest thing they say is bless your heart, which says a lot because that's their equivalent of, you're a fucking imbecile.
	And their worst insult with bless your heart is really saying, oh, you're not dumb.
	You're naive.
	And I think that's endearing that you could be living your life knowing so little.
	And I think that's admirable in a way.
	I hope the Lord blesses you and your naivete never hurts you.
	Thanks?
	I also noticed, I talked about this the other day, when someone said, you want chocolate?
	I was like, no, thanks.
	And she was sort of like, oh, fuck, that's mean.
	And I realized I should have said, oh, that is the sweetest offer I've ever heard.
	But I can't have chocolate right now.
	I'm not in the mood.
	But I really appreciate you saying that.
	That's more like a normal no thanks.
	Number four, this relates to everything.
	This and the guns are the two biggest ones.
	Every fucking where.
	No temples, no synagogues, but there is a church.
	I've never seen so many churches.
	And everyone just goes to church.
	It's not a thing like in New York.
	Someone goes to church and go, oh, you're religious.
	Okay, that's nice.
	No one minds, but it's especially in Manhattan proper.
	If you go to church, you probably grew up with your dad was a priest.
	There, going to church is like going to the bathroom.
	It's kind of an unfortunate analogy, but everyone does it without exception.
	Beautiful churches everywhere.
	Lots of different denominations.
	I don't even get all the differences between Presbyterian and Baptist and all the different Catholic.
	I don't even understand what Russian Orthodox is.
	I'll go into any church, really, if it's Christian.
	I don't give a shit.
	Protestant, Catholic.
	Sorry, fellow Catholics, if that's weird to you.
	But I think when you don't believe in God, you're constantly wondering why we're here.
	You're in a constant state of confusion.
	And when you know you're here, you know it's a miracle, you know you're the center of the universe, you know there's no other life out there in the universe, we're the only ones, you know it's a magical gift, miracle that we're here, you're thankful for it, it's very relaxing.
	It's sort of like, hi, what's going on?
	We all won the lottery together.
	Isn't this awesome?
	And I think that's linked to the friendliness, this sense of purpose you get from believing in God and worshiping God and being thankful every day.
	So that's cool.
	Number five, black people don't hate you.
	Now, in New York, because we fight, there's animosity.
	There's animosity with blacks and whites all over the place.
	This is a strange clip to choose for the background because it's some southern black person that's a big Black Lives Matter person.
	But she's kind of just mimicking Northern culture.
	In New York, it's agree to disagree.
	So there's black neighborhoods, there's white neighborhoods.
	They don't really mix that much.
	You'll see blacks and whites hang out, but it's usually hipster blacks who grew up listening to Deaf Leopard and stuff.
	They don't really, they have different accents, for fuck's sake, in the same city.
	But there's no like, fuck you, because I guess there's been so many fights and they know there's a lot of Irish here they're willing to throw down.
	So it's just like, stay it in my way, I'll stay it your way.
	And we don't hate each other, but we don't like each other, generally speaking.
	Chicago, totally different vibe.
	Chicago is, you motherfuckers had slavery.
	And the white people, which you'd never see in New York, are like, yeah, sorry about that.
	That was shitty.
	It won't happen again.
	So the blacks in Chicago have this sort of like, what the fuck you looking at attitude.
	And the whites have this, I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm looking at.
	I'm sorry.
	Like when I went to that Chicago museum and Santa was black and all the white people were like, oh, I didn't know this, but that's great.
	I love black Santa.
	That's awesome.
	I was the only person who complained and said, what if we came to meet Black Panther and he was played by a white dude?
	Wouldn't that be weird?
	You're fucking up the fictional character.
	That was their defense, by the way.
	Well, he did a state farm on me where he's like, well, it's fictional, so.
	Okay, why not make him a chick with huge tits then, you asshole?
	Number six, holy shit, are they armed?
	Armed to the teeth.
	I met a dude who has hundreds of guns.
	I mean, a lot of gun stores don't have hundreds of guns.
	They've got the concealed carry, they've got the open carry, they've got the fucking AR-15s, they got the rifles.
	They are armed to the fucking teeth.
	And that might have a lot to do with the whole lack of racial tension and the whole everyone's friendly thing.
	I mean, it just, there's still crime, there's still poverty, but the crime is like, it's mostly black-on-black thugs and it's gang-related.
	There's not a lot of, you know, home invasions.
	People leave their doors open.
	The gangsters are the ones killing each other.
	But yeah, that's really a great reason to move there.
	It's just the idea of just everyone having a gun on their hip.
	More guns, less crime.
	Number seven.
	Okay, dude, the chicken.
	I don't know what is going on.
	I think they purposely don't let us in the North have their chicken.
	It's the juiciest.
	It's not even...
	It's not the chicken I'm used to.
	Like, it's dripping.
	It's blindingly white.
	It's feathery and fluffy.
	And when you bite into it, it's like biting into a grape or something.
	Like, the juiciness explodes.
	My mouth is watering just looking at this fucking chicken.
	I'm going to go to KFC after this, which is a pale imitation of the chicken down there.
	I kind of got mad when I was eating it.
	I was like, you're fucking hiding this from us?
	Fuck you.
	You can't throw us three a week?
	Occasional little dip into your chicken paradise?
	I could make this whole green screen about chicken in the South.
	It's angeringly good.
	Number eight.
	Again, I'm not exactly, I can concede I might not be the biggest expert in the South, but they don't day drink.
	I don't know if, do we call New Orleans the South?
	Is Louisiana the South?
	They day drink in New Orleans, for sure.
	You can fucking get a strawberry daiquiri 24 hours a day.
	But these honky-tonks and the dive bars there, they're pretty much completely dead in the day.
	And there's dead and there's dead.
	Like if you go to a New York bar in the day, there might only be three or four people there, but they're regulars and it's a normal thing.
	If you go to a dive bar in the day in the south, there's like two tourists and a guy who's fixing the pipes.
	Like they're not regulars and the place is about to be empty.
	It's fucking jammed at night, but it seems to be predominantly young people.
	I'm 52 years old, so I'm not seeing a lot of people my age.
	And that might be a weather thing.
	People avoid going out in the day.
	But, oh, man, I just remembered when we were in, where were we, Tennessee?
	What's the country music place?
	Nashville.
	I think we were in Nashville or near there.
	I had a fried bologna sandwich, which is just a BLT, but the B is fried bologna.
	And that was in a packed bar at night.
	But day drinking, not really a thing.
	And that could be the heat.
	It could be the religion thing.
	It's kind of a sin to drink in the day.
	It's weird for me as a heavy day drinker.
	I don't like drinking at night.
	Fucks up your whole next morning.
	Number nine, they don't honk.
	Now, here in New York, there are times when I've been looking at the green, ready to go.
	I've hit the gas when it goes green.
	I still get honked at.
	You can be on time with the green, but unless you're whipping your Maxwell tape ad the second it turns green, people are like, what the fuck?
	That was a nanosecond.
	What's going on with you?
	And I think I heard Nate Bergatzi do a stand-up routine about this where he was sort of shocked when he moved to the north and everyone was honking at him all the time.
	Dude, you fucking honk here.
	And I don't even mind it, too, because half the time someone's on their phone.
	So you're not saying move it, fuckface.
	You're saying, hey, buddy, it's green.
	Get off your phone.
	We got to go.
	And so the guy who you honk at doesn't go, hey, cool it, shithead.
	He's like, oh, shit, what am I doing?
	Sorry.
	Or if I space out a little bit, I'm happy that someone went, hey, dude, you're spacing out.
	When I was down there last time in South Carolina, it's a fucking green 11,000 two.
	This is unthinkable in the Northeast.
	11,000, 21,000 through four fucking seconds.
	I'm five cars back.
	I just went like, fuck, this is insane.
	And then everyone in the lineup went, Jesus, someone's in a rush.
	They're not even mad at me.
	They're like, he must have a pregnant wife who's about to give birth.
	He's got to get to the hospital.
	And then the person at the front was like, shit, I better get going.
	I wouldn't be surprised if in the South, they'll do an entire cycle of a light and just be like, he fucked up.
	That's his, that's on him.
	You know, I'm not, I ain't mad.
	Number 10.
	I think I'm the first person who ever discovered this, but it's hot as balls.
	When we were doing the SPLC thing in Alabama, the guy I was talking to, I was like, so what's it like there?
	Ooh, 79.
	That's rough.
	Look at all those 70s.
	73.
	Woo-wee.
	No, it gets over 100.
	It gets Death Valley hot.
	And the guy, he was a southerner, but he'd never lived in Alabama.
	Oh, there we are.
	Wait, that's the guy I'm talking about right there.
	Holy shit.
	And he said, yeah, it took me about seven years to get used to the summers here.
	Seven years.
	And I've noticed, too, you can't really wear shorts.
	You don't wear shorts because when you get in somewhere, it's air-conditioned.
	So you're fucking freezing.
	So you have to wear pants.
	And I think the mentality is just sweat to death.
	Just accept it that you're going to have to change your shirt twice a day.
	I talked to Jim Goat about this.
	He calls himself a cold weather faggot or something like that.
	I'm a hot weather faggot.
	I don't understand how these people can just bake for two months.
	But the beauty of North Carolina, South Carolina, Eastern Tennessee is it's not Alabama true over 100 heat.
	Birmingham, Like, look at that.
	101 degrees.
	I remember I was in Las Vegas once on a roof at a Westfest thing.
	And it's like there's a stopwatch.
	If you're by the pool, you get in the water, which is ice water, even though it's boiling hot.
	And you get out, and it's like, all right, you have about five minutes to survive out here.
	Your beer's going to turn into molten lava, and then you have to jump back into the pool or you'll die.
	So I guess that's how they handle it in the South.
	They just go from thing to thing, and they hide out.
	I mean, I'm from Canada.
	In January and February, we couldn't really go outside.
	So I guess their January and February is July and August in reverse.
	Anyway, it's a corny thing to talk about when you're talking about the South, but I only had nine things, so I had to put heat at the end.
	I'm willing to put up with heat to get away from the psychotic liberal locus that are cheerily destroying everything good about New York.
	I want to hate fuck you.
	Any of those pussy riot girls can hate fuck me any day of the week.
	Before we get to the letters page, I just want to briefly discuss something that can't relate to Monday.
	This bizarre war on farmers that's going on.
	All over the place.
	We talked about the Netherlands before, where the government has decided that farmers are polluting the environment.
	We need to cut down on cattle because their farts are bad for the ozone.
	What?
	And then we find out it's a lie.
	They're pretending to care about climate change.
	But what they're really doing is trying to get land from farmers so they can invite refugees and build housing projects for refugees because refugees will vote for them.
	It's kind of an argument against democracy in a sense.
	We should go back to monarchies.
	And then we had the Bundies, right?
	The ranches where they were pushing out all the ranchers so they could just have the land.
	And I don't know, do what with it.
	I don't think they were doing that for refugees.
	But there seems to be a bizarre thing going on where the globalists, the elites, and Joe Biden is included in that, want our shelves to be bare.
	Now, the only theories I've heard that make sense is when you control the food supply, you control the people.
	And when we're starving to death and we're told we can only eat bugs, we'll do whatever the fuck you tell us to do.
	And that's not a good thing.
	So here's an example that sparked all this.
	This is obviously not a common national trend, but it is indicative of what the government does when we become independent.
	Look at this Amish farm shut down by the feds.
	Feds shut down Amos Miller's operation.
	Armed feds pay visits to Amish Farmer faces hundreds of thousands of fines.
	Amos Miller, an farmer who runs holistically managed farm in Han, Pennsylvania, grows and prepares food in tune with nature the way he believes God intended.
	This seems like a sound idea to the approximately 4,000 customers purchased Miller's meat, eggs, dairy products from his private members-only food club.
	Now, he had to start a members-only food club because there's some kind of regulation over there that's stopping him from just having the general public come to his store.
	He's doing the workaround, just like everybody does.
	The federal government, however, appears to disagree, right?
	A federal judge recently ordered Miller to cease and desist all meat sales.
	Organic Wellness reported U.S. Marshals were deployed to search Miller's property.
	And then they inventory the stock to assure that he doesn't sell or slaughter any more animals.
	The Fed shut down Amos Miller's operation.
	Just like Henry Kissinger said, control the food, control the people.
	Miller claims he's being persecuted by the federal government for practicing his religious beliefs and religious freedoms to grow and prepare food according to his religious belief.
	Easy with the jump cuts, guys.
	Fed shut down Amos Miller.
	You see that?
	They're cutting out nanoseconds.
	Did you know Malcolm Glabo was Amish, by the way?
	Amish?
	I didn't know that.
	Yeah.
	Joe, what is going on here?
	What is it, man?
	You can't go around.
	You can't go around.
	Excuse me.
	You can't go around.
	Serve me, though.
	People come out here.
	Come on, man.
	I can't hear you.
	Can't go around Chinese America, man.
	Speaking of America, we have China buying up thousands of acres of farmland.
	So we have a food shortage on the one hand, and at the same time, we're losing our farmland to foreign interests and billionaires.
	That's not the way it should go.
	If we have a food shortage, we should be stimulating the economy.
	We should be helping farmers.
	We should be allowing them to grow, and we should be restricting these monopolies.
	China is buying up American farms.
	Washington wants to crack down.
	No, Washington is more concerned with Trump having classified documents, which apparently they've since discovered today.
	Yeah, of course they're classified documents.
	You're going through...
	What about every president has documents that are not perfectly declassified the day of when he's still president?
	It's essentially a document typo.
	What is he stealing classified documents?
	For what purpose?
	Anyway, and Bill Gates, too, he's buying up thousands of acres of farmland.
	He says, he was asked why he's doing that.
	He goes, the agriculture sector is important.
	With more productive seeds, we can avoid deforestation and help Africa deal with the climate difficulty they already face.
	Is there something lower on my priority list?
	I guess French kissing my dad and helping Africa deal with their climate troubles are about on par on number 6,432.
	It's unclear how cheap Biofuels can be, but if they are cheap, it can solve the aviation and truck emissions.
	Like, that's one of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life.
	And then, finally, on this topic, John Levine was on a little road trip.
	The guy from the Washington Post, ex-liberal, gay dude, friend of Ann Coulter.
	I still don't know how I feel about him, but he does good reporting.
	And he's out and about, and he goes, what the fuck's going on with the shelves here in Bayonne, New Jersey?
	Did we lose a war?
	I saw another video on Grindface where this guy was going through the entire grocery store, and it wasn't sparse.
	It was zero.
	You know, when the vegetarian shit is gone, we're really in trouble.
	So what's going on here, guys?
	Help me out.
	This is bizarre.
	Maybe I should stop making fun of the third world because we're becoming there.
	We're becoming the third world.
	We have the same shelves as Venezuela, the same shelves as Cuba, and our FBI treats our citizens the same way they do in dictatorships.
	Anyway, on that cheery note, let's get to the mailbag.
	But this could die at any second.
	Shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	All right.
	We are on thin ice here.
	The gas tank is on E. Hey, Gavin and Ryan.
	I thought you guys would enjoy this.
	I work at a shit plant in California and had to pull Excalibur out of a valve this morning.
	That's all raw sewage.
	Shitty job, but someone's got to do it.
	I think this would be somewhat possible if...
	Wait, why is it sideways?
	It's not sideways on my thing.
	Look at that poor bastard getting drenched in shit.
	They got Excalibur out.
	But look at him.
	He's got to close it up afterwards.
	That's clearly not shit, man.
	That's footage from Charlie's Chocolate Factory.
	Oh.
	You ever seen Charlie's Chocolate Factory?
	Go around singing around the song and I don't know.
	I mean, I hope there's a shower that you can run to and go, oh, like when Kimberly Gilflow saw me wiping my ass.
	You run to the shower and get it off.
	But does he have to work like that for the rest of the day?
	Jesus.
	I'm failing to comprehend that being shit.
	Well, whatever helps you sleep at night.
	Yeah.
	Gavin needs his t-shirt and it says, stop standing up when the plane lands.
	Actually, you know, it's ironic, sir.
	I have to stand up as a butt boy when the plane lands to make sure no one stops.
	Because if you just sit in your chair, the guys that don't read that t-shirt are going to breeze past you.
	So I'm at the point now, I always get aisle seats, and the second the plane stops, I'm up and I'm standing.
	We got that one already.
	That was the machete guy.
	Hey, gay and Lord of the Fag Zone and Maddie.
	I'm probably one of your youngest BMs.
	I'm currently not opposed.
	He's 22.
	I'm currently not opposed to settling down already, but based on your philosophy, should I just propose to this chick I've been sleeping with for the past year?
	We get along fairly well, but I don't exactly see a future.
	Or just ditch her and find someone I want to marry.
	From your perspective, what age is it too late to be getting married?
	I said on last episode of Compound Censors that you're concerned you told your BMs to get married too early.
	So I just want to clarify.
	Well, it's not really my job to make the decision for you, but I don't know, try moving in with her.
	And if you haven't had a drop-down drag out fight in six months, she's probably the one.
	I would also say people have to stop expecting their soulmate.
	Naomi Schaefer-Reilly writes about this.
	You're not going to be, it's not going to be Romeo and Juliet the whole time.
	If she's compatible and you guys get along, the sex is good and you have a lot in common, just fucking do it.
	If there's things about her that you hate and you have really big differences, like she's a slob and you're a neat freak, that might not be compatible.
	But give it a whirl.
	There's another guy who had a point about his girlfriend's brother being trans and him not wanting to do that because he didn't want his future kids to be brainwashed.
	No, it's not it.
	No, it's not Brittany.
	Gays are mentally ill straights.
	Anyway, I'll just tell that to you.
	So the guy said, I'm dating this girl.
	We're getting along great.
	I'm thinking of marrying her, but she just told me her brother is trans.
	And I don't, I'm very Christian.
	I know my parents are going to shit their pants when they find out about that.
	And I also, I don't want this guy brainwashing my kids as he gets older and telling them that the genders don't matter and all that stuff.
	And to that guy, I would say, you're not marrying her brother.
	You're not marrying her family.
	And that family has no influence on you and her.
	Now, if she's into trans and she's really eager to let her four-year-old become a girl, well, that I would be a little more wary of.
	But don't let the love of your life get away from you because you don't agree with her brother.
	I see my wife's brother like once a year at the most.
	He's not going to be a part of your life.
	Don't let him dictate your future.
	These trainees have already done enough fucking damage.
	Men are the greatest, this says.
	This dude was literally run over by a fucking train.
	He lost his leg and his hand, and still, he's just a grateful, funny dude.
	Women still won't shut up about not being able to vote 100 years ago, but this dude's life is changed forever, and he's just like, meh, no biggie, could be worse.
	When I woke up, I was confused.
	I was a little sore, you know.
	Definitely didn't feel like I was ran over by a train, but I still had this leg.
	This leg was still there.
	And I couldn't move my toes.
	They tried to make me wiggle my toes for a few days.
	And they couldn't find a heartbeat, nothing like that.
	So, I mean, it was just my choice.
	I told them just to cut that fucking thing off.
	I didn't want it.
	So, the leg, I mean, that was my choice.
	It wasn't even the train's fucking choice to take that leg.
	And then the train's choice was wrapped up like a lot.
	And I kind of thought my hand was like this.
	I thought they wrapped my hand up like that until they switched my bandages and I seen it.
	But I don't know.
	It really hasn't affected me.
	You know, I mean, it sucks a little bit.
	The only time I feel handicapped.
	Does he do anything?
	What?
	If he lives a sedentary lifestyle, I mean, nothing changes.
	Well, we're getting to that.
	On a golf course right now, I literally went from like a 40 golfer to like a 60 goffer.
	That's the only time I feel like I have one leg and seven fingers is on a golf course.
	But other than that, I could care less.
	I don't know how to explain it.
	I don't care.
	You know what would be good for pussy?
	You get some like these three fingers that are gone.
	You get these black.
	What a great conversation starter at a bar.
	You just pick up your beer and your other fingers follow this finger.
	You get a robot hand.
	Yeah.
	A lot of people, they come to this country, they don't know how robotics work, man.
	You know, the Wright brothers, they made the first airplane, but the first butt boys were right there by to make sure the aisle way.
	You got to clear the check bag.
	There was no aisles in the Wright Brothers planes.
	You got a commercial carry-on.
	We didn't get aisles till like, I don't know, the 50s?
	You got to do that little button and press it back and lean back in your seat, man.
	It's American.
	No, that was probably the 70s.
	When I was a kid riding planes, going to Scotland, there was an ashtray in the plane.
	You saw that?
	They still have those because of old planes, you know.
	Have you ever been on a plane with an ashtray?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	With the little...
	It's in the arm of the seat.
	I'm from the 90s.
	I mean, I was born in 1889.
	I remember the little ashtray.
	Hey, homos, love you.
	By the way, how is the wife regarding the move?
	She's not ecstatic.
	Why don't you just move to a red country county nearby?
	I know, I get that.
	I could move a little bit north to Darian, Connecticut.
	I could move to Jersey.
	I could move to Long Island.
	It'd be the same.
	But then I feel like, why move four miles away?
	I already tried that.
	But I get your argument.
	You get on this slippery slope, though, with moving.
	Where you're like, why not Australia?
	Oh, because I'm banned.
	This one's just called Tactical Walls.
	I haven't talked to that dude in a long time.
	That's fucking awesome, though.
	Bryce is good peeps.
	He's always throwing $100 towards the boys, frankly.
	Great guys.
	Great guy.
	I have no idea how much we've raised with those super chats.
	Neither do I. Every time I ask our tech guy, he's got bigger fish to fry.
	He's like, I'll tell you later.
	He's like, they're not getting out in a while.
	Gavin, a couple weeks ago, a caller mentioned how China and Russia will be creating their own currency based on precious metals.
	The United States only has one option left, invade Uganda.
	Open the attached link and you'll understand why we must do this.
	Uganda finds 31 MT.
	What does that mean?
	Mountains of gold ready to be mined?
	Signs up Chinese firm.
	See, this pisses me off because while we're invading Mar-a-Lago and talking about Britney fucking tranny basketball player and saying white supremacy is the number one threat, everyone is buying up our farms and fucking taking away gold that we should be getting.
	That's a contract that America should have, not fucking China.
	We're getting our asses handed to us by these fucking rice balls.
	Here's a guy saying he bought the G-Sauce.
	Just got it today.
	Pretty good stuff.
	Sweet, but also spicy.
	Got married three weeks ago.
	Gonna knock this lady up soon.
	Hmm.
	Congratulations.
	This guy is saying black Twitter or KKK.
	What is BBT Country Club and how do I get verified?
	What are country club threads?
	Blah, blah, blah.
	How to get verified.
	If you're black, send us a mod mail with a picture of your forearm beside a handwritten note with your username.
	Upload the photo and let us know you're applying as black so we can flag you appropriately.
	If you're non-white, person of color, please send us a mod mail, blah, blah, blah, with your forearm.
	Forearms are crucial to all of these.
	I guess they don't undo their face.
	We consider non-white people of color to include, but are not limited to, Latinos, Asians, Middle Easterners, and native slash Indigenous peoples.
	Natives must be excited to be so integral, such an integral part of the conversation these days.
	No one talked about Indians 10 years ago.
	Now it's like black and indigenous.
	They're right at the top.
	They must be like, oh, okay.
	Hey, hello.
	Thank you for getting us up here.
	I don't really have much to say.
	We'd like our land back.
	And I wouldn't mind a vodka martini while we're at it.
	If you're applying as a white ally, what about racists?
	This country club is not allowing racists in.
	Please send us a mod mail explicitly stating you're applying as a white ally.
	If you're approved, you will receive a message.
	If you're a non-white POC, please send a mod mail.
	We already read that.
	Oh, yeah.
	I'm reading the same thing twice.
	So that is...
	Isn't that illegal?
	Isn't it illegal to have race-based clubs?
	This guy's talking about Britney Spears yesterday.
	We were going through the brutal treatment she was getting from her spoiled, rotten kids.
	Gav and Maddie, this would never happen with my mo.
	You cunt.
	She'd tell you where to go.
	You know who want you to wear shoes, young grief, a wee bastard.
	If I was off school, if you asked for something to eat, she would say, folk who don't go to school can't have stuff to eat.
	This is an interesting one.
	Hi, Gabman and Fag Boy.
	I've been seeing this hot chick for a few months.
	She's cool as shit, and I'm into her for a lot of reasons, but she used to be fat, like over 200 pounds.
	We did read this yesterday.
	Oh, we did?
	Yes.
	Also, the Jamie one, too.
	Oh, shit.
	He's Scottish, by the way.
	He's a guy that writes it a lot.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, they have orange flags.
	I wasn't drunk yesterday.
	Oh, I see Brooke Goldstein.
	I breezed through that really fast.
	I know her.
	She's fucking awesome.
	Yeah, she tried to get me to go to this Constitution camp.
	It's an intensive four-day class where you have to be sponsored by someone else, and you just sit there all day going through the Constitution and learning about it.
	And by the time you're done your four-day thing, you're a fucking raging expert.
	It's like eight hours a day.
	Then you go for drinks later and shit.
	I don't know why I didn't do that.
	A good would you rather.
	Die right now or never die.
	Hmm.
	Die right now.
	Okay.
	Daphne just lost her father.
	She's following the tradition of the Katsus.
	She'll understand.
	What?
	She'll understand.
	Well, to never die would be...
	That's inhuman.
	Yeah, I'm going with never die.
	I want my kids to have a dad.
	And the cool part is, I'm moving to East New York.
	Hey.
	Pull your fucking pants up.
	Yeah.
	What are you doing?
	You look like shit.
	And you, with the clown eyelashes and the shower cap, you're wearing a tank top and stupid sweatshorts and then your Crocs with your fucking ankle socks.
	You think you're sexy?
	Why are you strutting around?
	You look like you're under house arrest.
	Oh, your boyfriend has a gun.
	Oh, no.
	That means that you don't look ridiculous.
	You shoot me all day.
	You're still embarrassing.
	Goodbye.
	Okay, so now you win the argument because you shot me.
	Stop it!
	Okay, now I got to get a whole new suit.
	Every piece of clothing I have would look like Swiss cheese.
	It still hurt.
	It feels like a BB gun.
	Then they would probably come hang out with you and be like, you know that invisible nigga, he down the street.
	Be like, yo, you know what?
	Yo, what's up, invisible?
	Yo, we got to rob a bank together, my man.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Shut up, Jaquan.
	Well, I would hope they start worshiping me because I'm clearly magic.
	They would try to get you to, yeah, yeah.
	Fucking do some job.
	Like, you would start a cult.
	It would be some bizarre cult because they'd think you were special.
	I'd be like, I am special.
	Yeah.
	Like, I'm Jesus levels.
	The invincible honkies, and then you're the only honky.
	But maybe we could finally take Antifa.
	Yeah.
	Whatever you want, Giv.
	What tips do you have for dating advice to settle down?
	I met a girl we connect on politics and religion.
	She wants a big family and is in her late 20s.
	I don't want to be an ass like you and waste her good years.
	What is a good timeline to date and how often to recommend seeing each other throughout the week?
	We've been dating for a month and see each other four to five days.
	I know this isn't very traditional Christian, but that's way too early to even think about marriage.
	I think you got to go.
	I think nine months is a good amount of time.
	It's good enough time for a baby.
	Let your love gestate.
	I would say like around a year if you're dating and you're getting along.
	Move in with her at like eight months.
	Live in sin.
	And if it's still going well, throw a ring on it.
	But 29, you better hurry.
	Oh, here's the one.
	Oh, wait, no, this one's weird.
	I've been casually seeing a woman for three years.
	She has two kids, is divorced, and claims not to want any more children or a serious relationship ever again.
	The end.
	This being said, she's deeply in love with me.
	Too bad.
	Furthermore, I know that she does desire an actual relationship with me despite her verbal denial of this truth.
	It depends how old she is.
	I've always been upfront and honest about not wanting a relationship because she's been married and already has children.
	Am I wasting this attractive 30-year-old's time?
	Yes.
	Cut your losses.
	Get the fuck out of there.
	P.S. I'm a 26-year-old grad student with a bright future.
	No, no, no.
	Stop banging this chick.
	It's cruel.
	Okay, last one.
	I found another video of a hardworking Gen Z woman in the corporate world.
	I've worked in oil, gas, corporate for years.
	That shit would not fly here.
	He says, proud of your boy.
	Just one minute.
	One minute.
	That's my mistress's.
	Hey, Mon.
	It's hard.
	It's been getting later and later every single day.
	I'm lucky if I leave my apartment before 10 a.m.
	And if it's nice outside, I'll bike to work.
	After a 20-minute commute, my first stop is the barista.
	Yes, my company hired an award-winning barista to work here every Thursday.
	Hey, look at this.
	It's not even good.
	What is that?
	Is that like a teddy bear's face?
	Custom latte art.
	Thank you so much.
	Even though I'm a big huge reorganization at the office, and I was thrilled to find my new desk by the window with this.
	He probably just said he was an award-winning barista.
	Desk setup, which is just an accumulation of Long Island City, I guess.
	Free swag.
	After coffee, I have about one hour to work before stand-up and then lunch.
	I usually go out for lunch and get takeout.
	Today, I took it back to the office to eat and hang out with interns.
	I unfortunately can't show myself a little bit of a bad one.
	But I'll show you some of the healthy snacks that I like to eat.
	A few hours of coding and many work breaks later.
	I hit the gym around five or six.
	Okay, now stop.
	This all bothers us, right?
	But why?
	It's not communism.
	It's the free market.
	Her coding must have incredible value in the market.
	I'm as annoyed as you, don't get me wrong.
	But it doesn't violate our free market rules.
	And as, you know, conservative, libertarian, whatever you want to call us, not lefts, we have to just ignore this, I'm afraid.
	I rushed to meet my friends for drinks and some light food before heading to a company party.
	And I can't believe my company threw this kind of event.
	Besides food and energy.
	I've been there.
	We had these airless performing in a DJ.
	Definitely not a target.
	That would just bother me.
	There wasn't that gay shit happening there, though.
	Where is that?
	Lower East.
	Oh, wait, near the High Line.
	All right, let's get to the final video here.
	The maids are trying to clean up.
	Sorry.
	Can't believe my computer survived that.
	Maybe the low battery warning is a fucking bluff.
	Like when we were visiting Max and John upstate and we were on E for like five miles below E. Let's end on a high note here.
	It's Friday.
	We want to have a fun weekend.
	Like I say every weekend, get off your phone.
	Avoid your phone as much as possible.
	Stare into space.
	You know, when you're at the bar and your friend goes, P, we always whip out our phones.
	Oh, I got to get checked up.
	Stop it.
	You can stare.
	Even at bars now, there's TVs everywhere.
	So you're not even really staring into space.
	But just sit and look at the bottles.
	Think about the graphic design.
	Like, think about stuff.
	Contemplate.
	Pontificate.
	Philosophize.
	Yeah.
	Indulge.
	Thinkate about your ponderations.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	Great vocabulary.
	Ponder.
	So here's a dude who ordered a stripper to his class.
	I hope it's not ancient news, but I think it's a very well-executed joke.
	And by the way, look at the fucking training teacher that's just normal.
	No one seems to have a problem with this freak.
	My college lecture.
	Hello, is Brady here?
	Yeah.
	Hi, I'm the stripper you ordered.
	Yes, yeah.
	Sorry, guys.
	I meant to order it to my frat last night at 1 a.m., but it was accidentally 1 p.m.
	And I didn't want to miss the test.
	Your frat sucks, dude.
	Pretty not an alpha beta pal.
	You're just referencing something that is very important.
	Please, can you leave?
	It was non-refundable.
	I'm sorry.
	Dude, I will fail you.
	I can't, I can't fail this.
	No, I can't, I can't, I can't fail.
	The one I saw, his face wasn't blurred.
	That teacher is a dude.
	I bet.
	Well, you can tell.
	Yeah.
	And isn't it funny how they're so half-assed?
	These trannies where they have skechers on and a dress?
	It's non-refundable.
	No.
	You guys are discriminating against her because she's a stripper.
	No, you guys get out.
	I paid my tuition too.
	Well, my dad does, but same thing.
	I should have went to USC.
	USC better plus ratio.
	You suck.
	I ordered a stripper to my college.
	That tranny fucking prop.
	You suck.
	That's who's teaching our kids.
	Your kids are going to go a quarter million dollars into debt to be taught by that fucking clown.
	Not on my watch.
	Tranny's out of the classroom.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	I'm gonna hate for you.
	I'm gonna hate for you.
	I'm gonna hate for you.
	I'm gonna hate for you.
	I'm gonna hate for you.
	Disgusting is what disgusting is.
	When are you facing me?

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