We go through the stultifying lack of meritocracy in Western politics and laugh at the glaring incompetence these affirmative action hires bring the world. We also talk to a lot of new parents about how awesome it is to have kids.
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| When I was young... | |
| Live from New York, it's "Get Off My Lawn" with Gavin McInnes. | |
| But communism is on the rise And Satan has a new disguise Be careful of the commie lies Swallow them and freedom dies The USA must realize That she's the biggest prize Why be surprised when they retreat? | |
| Their major weapon is deceit. | |
| When will we learn? | |
| Alas! | |
| Alack! | |
| It's three steps forward, two steps back. | |
| Be careful of the... | |
| That was Janet Green and her hit single, Call Me Lies. | |
| Welcome back to GOML Live. | |
| We are here shooting early today because I got a sting, I'm afraid. | |
| Welcome back, Mr. Matty O. What's going on, people? | |
| Has it only been a week? | |
| A week since. | |
| Since you were last here. | |
| Did you miss last episode? | |
| I was here. | |
| I feel like we haven't seen you here in a long time. | |
| It was a holiday weekend. | |
| You went away. | |
| I went. | |
| Where did you go? | |
| Pelham. | |
| Oh, we did an early show last, right? | |
| Yeah, we did an early show last time, too. | |
| Oh, right. | |
| Fuck. | |
| It's becoming a pattern here. | |
| Already, then. | |
| What did you do? | |
| You sound kind of secretive. | |
| I stayed local. | |
| I go to the south side of New Rochelle. | |
| We all get together every Fourth of July. | |
| It's a big thing. | |
| Is it bikers? | |
| No, just anyone from New Rochelle. | |
| Oh, so it's all neighborhood guys. | |
| And how were the fireworks? | |
| Oh, it's awesome. | |
| Ryan's putting a little clip together for me. | |
| I got it. | |
| You got him? | |
| Yeah, I got it. | |
| Do you want to show it? | |
| I don't know if you want to show it, frankly. | |
| Yeah, you can put it on. | |
| All right, we'll show it. | |
| We're going to show it in a big way. | |
| Everyone goes, how much did they spend on that? | |
| I said, probably 12, 15 grand. | |
| Fucking crazy. | |
| That's a lot of fireworks. | |
| I've seen 10 grand's worth, and it's about this desk. | |
| Oh, no, it's the whole room. | |
| That's not everything. | |
| It can't be everything. | |
| There's shit going off while you're filming. | |
| That's a lot. | |
| You need a lot of people to set those off. | |
| There's probably 30 people doing this. | |
| Like, watch. | |
| This is in the backyard. | |
| Holy shit! | |
| Dude, that's the most insane fireworks I've seen in my life. | |
| As far as volume. | |
| It must have gone on for hours. | |
| No, about a, like, it's funny because, you know, the cops always come, and this year they were like, alright, listen, we'll give you 15 minutes to wrap it up. | |
| Really? | |
| Like, go towards the end, a couple minutes, like a minute or two before they end. | |
| Did you, did they all get set off? | |
| No, there was a few things that didn't. | |
| So how long was the beginning? | |
| About a half an hour, total. | |
| But I mean, we go out, we set it all up. | |
| Come on, keep going. | |
| No, like, go like, scroll, like scrub a little. | |
| Oh, you can't. | |
| That's pretty intense. | |
| Hey, right there! | |
| Where'd you go? | |
| Phantom and PA? | |
| No, they go out, like, uh, past, uh, I think Ohio or something like that. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| Has inflation hit fireworks? | |
| Wow, that's great. | |
| That's better than ours. | |
| We, we... They did them locally, like the local town did. | |
| Village, I should say. | |
| And they were so good, that we sort of were like, alright, what are we gonna do? | |
| Spend 800 bucks? | |
| There was a new one. | |
| Did I talk about this already? | |
| A new firework I'd never seen before. | |
| This insane light. | |
| It looked like it was this big. | |
| It just goes up, lights up the whole sky and comes down again. | |
| There's no boom. | |
| It's just a big glowing ball. | |
| It's like a fire. | |
| Uh, so today we, uh, are free for the first half hour or so, then we go behind the paywall, we take calls, we read letters, and we have a super chat where we read all the hundred dollar ones, and all that money goes to Max and John, who are getting out of prison in about eight months. | |
| These are friends of ours who were jumped by Antifa and- 240 days. | |
| Subsequently beat the shit out of them, and that's verboten. | |
| Self-defense is verboten in New York. | |
| We just saw that dude the other day, old man, gets attacked in a bodega for not giving out free crisps. | |
| And he knifes the guy to death. | |
| Because that's what you do when your life is in danger. | |
| You fight back. | |
| But nope, not in New York. | |
| That's not permitted. | |
| So yeah, we want them to have some money when they get out. | |
| I keep asking our tech guy for what the total is so far. | |
| My gut says we've raised about two grand? | |
| No, more than that. | |
| No? | |
| Accumulative since we started? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, more than that. | |
| 700 billion and a trillion three hundred million billion dollars. | |
| Ryan, it's very unprofessional for your mouse to be visible when you play drops. | |
| It's gauche. | |
| We don't give a damn. | |
| What's your guess? | |
| I say right around five grand mark. | |
| Yeah, I mean I guess every episode will have three or four hundred dollar ones, and then like twenty ten dollar ones. | |
| Every penny counts. | |
| Forty, forty, forty-five? | |
| Forty, forty-five. | |
| It sucks that we can't have a huge party for them. | |
| You know, like in the movies, when the guy gets out of jail, there's someone there, the gates open up, he's got his paper bag, and you go, what's up, my man? | |
| Next time you speak to him, you gotta ask him if they have, uh, on their, uh, supervised release, if they have special conditions of non-association. | |
| Oh. | |
| Well, you've been visiting, so. | |
| That doesn't make a difference, that don't. | |
| Oh, shit. | |
| Till they hit the street, that's when it, that'll take effect. | |
| That'll be weird. | |
| That'll be the end of our friendship, is them getting out of jail, because they can't associate with them. | |
| Well, they're only on parole for a couple of years. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Supervised release. | |
| All right, because the new parole is cut in half. | |
| This episode is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD. | |
| What's that? | |
| Someone just got out of jail? | |
| Paulie. | |
| See, you wouldn't be allowed out that late. | |
| When you get out, you got 72 hours of report to your PO. | |
| Okay, especially because well John has got to go out to Chicago. | |
| They gotta give me travel time. | |
| Oh Yeah, you know so maybe we could have a party up there. | |
| Yeah It would have to be like local like Well, there's a town like an hour away two hours away that nice ski town and I mean, I don't know where Max lives. | |
| Is Max from New York? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, so then he's, you know, he's got 72 hours, but I'm gonna go and get it over with. | |
| Yeah, so you can stay at a hotel that night. | |
| Because I know they want to fuck their girlfriends and or wife, but uh, and when it's been four years in prison, you're not going to be banging all night. | |
| No. | |
| Not going to last too long. | |
| Yeah, so we'll wait the 30 seconds in the lobby. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And then we'll come meet you. | |
| Alright, they should be done. | |
| This isn't footage from their girlfriends. | |
| Well, we're waiting. | |
| Before they're done saying, waiting. | |
| Plus, Zenoa's getting fucking shredded, too. | |
| Oh, no way. | |
| She's lost 50 pounds. | |
| She's a professional bodybuilder now. | |
| What? | |
| No, not a bodybuilder. | |
| She's a strong woman. | |
| That's sick. | |
| Powerlifter. | |
| Powerlifter. | |
| So, like, she just sent me this footage of her at these competitions where she's lifting up this fucking cement sphere. | |
| This ball, this big, that you gotta put over your head. | |
| Those kind of things. | |
| Those strongman things. | |
| All right, let's start the show. | |
| Today's episode is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD. | |
| They've been with us since day one. | |
| If you use the promo code Gavin, you get 20% off. | |
| And the variety at Johnny Apple CBD is incredible. | |
| It's johnnyapple.com or johnnyapplecbd.com. | |
| And if you want to just pull up that site there, we got the vape, the gummies, the tinctures, the concentrates, the topical, and the supplements. | |
| And as I keep saying, I don't know, there's something magic about hemp, this plant from the Lord, because they took out the illegal stuff, there's no THC, the benefits still reign, even getting high! | |
| Like those, what are they called, the C tablets? | |
| The Delta... Delta 8. | |
| The Delta 8s. | |
| Delta 9. | |
| It's indistinguishable from being actually high. | |
| The tinctures are great to take the edge off your coffee. | |
| Topicals are great for sore muscles. | |
| Ladies, put them on your feet if you want to wear high heels that night. | |
| And ladies, if you're single and you don't know where all the men are, wear high heels at least three times a week and you will have men in your life. | |
| I promise you it's a magic tip and johnnyapple.com can help with that. | |
| So please shop at johnnyapple.com. | |
| Support by supporting them, you're supporting us, you're supporting Free Speech. | |
| These guys have not faltered since day one. | |
| They've been supporting us. | |
| So they are our oldest and most reliable sponsor. | |
| People message and review too, and they're like, hey guys, Johnny Apple's no joke. | |
| That's right, Super Hemp flavor will also get you pretty high. | |
| I've greened out from it a couple of times. | |
| My wife got too high on the Delta 8s. | |
| She had to put an ice pack on her chest and I had to be the court jester for like three hours to stop her from freaking out. | |
| Wait, this one, we got a review. | |
| You want to see it? | |
| Yeah? | |
| About 2am. | |
| Lads, been catching up on the shows today. | |
| Gavin opened up with a comment on edibles, how it struck a chord, so to speak. | |
| I've been taking Johnny Apple CBD for at least a year now. | |
| Last time the wife ordered, she purchased Delta 8 as well. | |
| I took one with two beers while watching another unfunny SNL. | |
| About 2 a.m., I went to bed, started hearing a large presence making snorting sounds around the bedroom. | |
| I was concerned a bit, but couldn't move. | |
| The next thing I remember, my heart started thumping like I was tits deep on a Peloton bike. | |
| I got out of bed, put on my Apple Watch, and my heart rate was like 160. | |
| I freaked out and woke up the wife, as she thought I was having a heart attack. | |
| I could control it with breathing, but if I stopped consciously regulating how I breathed, it would fire up again. | |
| My max heart rate was 180 now. | |
| I really thought I was gonna kick the can that night. | |
| I have regular, I've taken regular edibles for years, but that Delta-8 gummy was a different type of high. | |
| Have you guys felt an increase of heart rate after eating THC? | |
| Eat half! | |
| Don't think it's just... It's true of everything, by the way. | |
| Oh, it's Delta-8. | |
| It's not gonna get, dude, take half. | |
| Remember when you're a kid, that's enough Johnny Apple. | |
| Remember when you were a kid, a teenager, and you were trying something like acid, or shrooms, and you'd take a Like a paper blot or whatever and be like, this doesn't work on me. | |
| Yeah, I'm gonna take another one. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I've done that. | |
| These mushrooms don't work. | |
| Did you... Can you... I ate a whole eighth! | |
| Can you get your money back? | |
| These don't... These suck. | |
| And then... Tripping balls. | |
| What the fuck have I done? | |
| I'm gonna die. | |
| I remember being like, this should be more than $8. | |
| It was $8 for the tab. | |
| I was like, because this is like a day-long thing. | |
| Like, it should be more money so that way you realize what you're in for. | |
| $8 is like, yeah, fucking... | |
| Yeah, I was four when I was your age. | |
| Yeah, you should buy a blotter of a hundred for 400 bucks. | |
| Yeah, it should be more money just to let you know how much you're in for. | |
| Yeah, you're right. | |
| It should be a hundred dollars. | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| I mean, the slingshot ride is like 50 bucks. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And that's, what, 30 seconds? | |
| Right. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Depending on if you're awake for it or not. | |
| Then you get older and you start having genuine problems and genuine concerns, and you're like, I can't do those anymore. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Can't do MDMA, LSD, mushrooms. | |
| Normal people are microdosing mushrooms these days. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Yes, I've heard of that. | |
| I could get into that. | |
| Ayahuasca, DMT. | |
| I remember doing that towards the end of my acid days. | |
| We would take a little sheet, you know, the little tiny square, and then with Swiss Army knife scissors, you'd cut off like a pube. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And it was good. | |
| But beers, beer'll do ya. | |
| As you get older. | |
| Yesterday I was having some beers with Anthony after the show, and I go, oh fuck, I gotta get my train. | |
| Run to the train station, the subway, to get to the train station. | |
| Fuckin' just got it in time, jump through the doors, yes! | |
| Fuckin'. | |
| I'm no dummy, I know how to schedule. | |
| And then I start seeing the numbers go down. | |
| I'm going fuckin' south. | |
| You're going downtown? | |
| Nice! | |
| And I came back and there was these teenage, not teenage, but like 20-something fans that were there and I had to hang out with them. | |
| Torture. | |
| That's the worst thing that happened yesterday. | |
| It wasn't a bad day. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And, well, the Mets almost lost again. | |
| Oh, they've been on a... Dude, I was so fucking stressed out. | |
| We still gotta go to that game. | |
| We gotta make that makeup game. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| You've already paid for it, right? | |
| Yeah. | |
| I got six tickets. | |
| We got the Sword of Gamecleese hanging over our head. | |
| Uh, in the news today. | |
| Well, let's do the start the show graphic. | |
| Ah, yes, of course. | |
| The, uh, start the show graphic. | |
| Yeah, because we're starting the show. | |
| That's right. | |
| And we love it. | |
| We think it to be great. | |
| I just can't seem to get the, where it comes. | |
| Oops. | |
| No, that's not correct. | |
| There we go. | |
| Alright. | |
| Let's start the show! | |
| Bye! | |
| Bye-bye! | |
| My arrow's wrong. | |
| It comes from this direction and goes that way, right? | |
| Left to right. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You want to try it again? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Let's start the show! | |
| Yeah. | |
| Beautiful, beautiful bird. | |
| Left to right. | |
| You want to try it, Matty? | |
| Matty seems pretty confident about it. | |
| I think he's got it. | |
| You want to try it? | |
| Me? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Sure. | |
| Here we go. | |
| Let's start the show! | |
| Nice. | |
| Got it. | |
| Beautiful, beautiful bird. | |
| Bye-bye. | |
| Very well done. | |
| Now you want to see a master do it, I would do it, but I don't know if you want me to. | |
| Yeah, I want to see you do it. | |
| You want to see me show you guys up? | |
| All right. | |
| Yeah. | |
| All right. | |
| Is he going to slap? | |
| What the fuck? | |
| Hi, Mr. Trump. | |
| I do a great impression of you. | |
| I don't know if you do. | |
| Bye. | |
| It was okay, but you fucked up when Trump was there. | |
| I did. | |
| I got nervous, is what it was. | |
| I got noivice. | |
| We're still taking Super Chats, by the way. | |
| This is like a regular show, guys. | |
| So Super Chats, you know what to do. | |
| You go to the page. | |
| I feel like people who have enough money to donate Super Chats are at work right now. | |
| Maybe. | |
| But maybe it's the only way that they can't call in, so this is the only way to interact with the show. | |
| That's fine. | |
| This is a quiet way to do it. | |
| You go to Live Show Banner on the site, and then you click this button. | |
| It'll walk you through it. | |
| Do you know anything about the Georgia Guidestones? | |
| I've never heard of him before until today. | |
| Really? | |
| Yesterday. | |
| Some anonymous rich guy made these giant tablets for life after a nuclear war. | |
| And it's some tips on surviving the new world. | |
| But it's pretty globalist. | |
| Although, can you be a globalist if the world's been annihilated? | |
| Like I'm not really against globalism if there's no globe. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't know. | |
| So it said on the Maintain Humanity Under 500 Million... Eugenics? | |
| No. | |
| That's not a lot of people. | |
| For an Earth. | |
| That's a little bit more than America. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, there they are blowing up. | |
| In a silver car. | |
| They blowed up good. | |
| They bloated it up. | |
| They weren't that big. | |
| Like, to be the most amazing American Stonehenge, they're like 16 feet high. | |
| So that's the mysterious car. | |
| Now is it... I don't even know. | |
| I haven't really had a chance to... I was consumed with other stories, but that was a pretty powerful explosion. | |
| Yeah. | |
| But, um... Like, who would have done it? | |
| Like, who's against it? | |
| Who's for it? | |
| Who's... Well, I'll tell you. | |
| There's this chick, um... | |
| She's a Georgia politician. | |
| She's doing pretty well. | |
| And she's always been bitching about these things. | |
| She calls them satanic. | |
| Let me just read you what it said on them. | |
| Because after that, they said, oh, it's a hazard. | |
| They're going to fall. | |
| So they totally destroyed them. | |
| Guide reproduction wisely is number two. | |
| Unite humanity with a living new language. | |
| That's like that Esperanza shit. | |
| That's globalist. | |
| Number four, rule passion, faith, tradition, and all things with tempered reason. | |
| Sounds anti-religious. | |
| Number five, protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts. | |
| Good. | |
| Six, let all nations rule internally, resolving external disputes in a world court. | |
| I don't like the word world. | |
| Seven, avoid petty laws and useless officials. | |
| Good. | |
| Eight, balance personal rights with social duties. | |
| Nine, Prize truth, beauty, love, and seeking harmony with the infinite. | |
| No. | |
| I'm not doing that. | |
| Be not a cancer on Earth. | |
| Leave room for nature. | |
| Leave room for nature. | |
| It's written twice. | |
| What a weird fucking guy. | |
| Like, you think the whole Earth's gonna be gone? | |
| And there's gonna be a bunch of new leaders. | |
| That's when it was previously vandalized. | |
| That are walking around going, what should we do? | |
| What should we do? | |
| What should we do? | |
| And then they see that. | |
| It's written, it's got like ten different languages. | |
| Chinese, Hebrew. | |
| Is it privately owned? | |
| Uh, didn't know who built it still to this day. | |
| Well, it was an anonymous donor. | |
| Um, I think it was, it was on, um, it was on, uh, city land, uh, the government land, government property. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Obama is a Muslim. | |
| I see. | |
| But check out that woman. | |
| This is a woman who a lot of people are saying could be responsible. | |
| Candace Taylor. | |
| So she made a video on Brumble saying, I'll fucking sue you if you accuse me of doing this. | |
| Oh, she's Spanish, right? | |
| No. | |
| She looks a little Espanol. | |
| Law and order. | |
| For two years, I have been running for office. | |
| I ran for U.S. | |
| Senate and I ran for the governor's seat of Georgia. | |
| Okay, this is boring. | |
| Go to her Twitter page. | |
| She's like, we need to take these stones down, these satanic tablets. | |
| They are the work of the devil. | |
| No, they're the work of a weird rich guy. | |
| And now they're gone. | |
| They're probably the work of some Spanish guys who made them. | |
| Yeah, but like, I don't like let all nations rule eternally resolving external disputes in a world court the way it is today because these globalists are determined to make us all one person. | |
| But if there's been a nuclear war and there's only 500 million people in the entire world, I can rethink globalism. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Keep going down? | |
| No, no. | |
| God is all by himself. | |
| Maybe she's deleted these? | |
| Well there's a pinned tweet saying that she wants to take them down on May 2nd. | |
| And also it's weird because they just installed floodlights and cameras right before this happened. | |
| Which is odd. | |
| I think she deleted them. | |
| Maybe. | |
| Stop. | |
| Everyone's concerned about world population. | |
| Yeah, she had just posted that we have to take these down and they're evil. | |
| Yeah, here it is. | |
| And they're satanic. | |
| I'm the only candidate bold enough to stand for Luciferian cabal. | |
| Oh, there we go. | |
| Luciferian cabal. | |
| Elect me governor of Georgia and I'll bring the satanic regime to its knees and demolish the Georgia Guidestones. | |
| That seems like a weird priority. | |
| Like, even if it was satanic and globalist, I'd be like, there's some weird fucking stones over here. | |
| You wanna go check them out? | |
| Don't take down any statues. | |
| No. | |
| I know a lot of friends that have gone there, yeah. | |
| The confederate statues? | |
| They're the losers. | |
| Okay, fine. | |
| They wanted slavery. | |
| Alright, that's interesting. | |
| It's like burning a book. | |
| Oh really? | |
| Would you like to have Hitler statues in Germany? | |
| Well, they have Mao statues in China. | |
| It marks time. | |
| Exactly, it should know where you've been. | |
| Sacrifice. | |
| I love that accent. | |
| I've never banged a southern chick. | |
| We're still doing it in present day by killing our unborn. | |
| It's the same demons, it's the same sacrifice, it's the same sin, it's just a different time. | |
| I love that accent. | |
| I've never banged a southern chick. - I have, but it's funny, like a Spanish chick. | |
| 'Cause she looks Spanish. | |
| And she's got the southern accent, I'm like. - But was she talking dirty? | |
| In a southern accent? | |
| Oh yeah, I've been throughout South. | |
| That's great. | |
| I've never never had that. | |
| Well, you didn't grow up in America. | |
| True, true. | |
| Seth Rogen has just done his nails in a new pattern, and it's a pattern that he's been using in his pottery recently. | |
| So it's pretty exciting. | |
| There's his nails. | |
| I'm not sure what gloop is. | |
| But it's probably a t-shirt or something. | |
| Like, this is what living in LA does to you. | |
| What is going on there? | |
| Is that... You're going for the Pete Davidson dollar? | |
| I don't know. | |
| And Crip Daddy brought this to my attention and reminded me that it's exactly like this scene from Forty Year Old Virgin when Seth and Paul Rudd are discussing homosexuality. | |
| I think, I mean that sounds gay, I just want you to know that this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay like there's this and then in a year it's like oh you know I'm kind of gonna want to get back out there but I think I like guys and then there's the big oh I'm a gay guy now. | |
| You're gay for saying that. | |
| I'm gay for saying that? | |
| You know how I know you're gay? | |
| How? | |
| How do you know I'm gay? | |
| Because you macrame'd yourself a pair of jean shorts. | |
| Well, he's not out. | |
| You just told me you're not sleeping with women anymore. | |
| You know how I know that you're gay? | |
| How? | |
| Because you're gay. | |
| I know some people I've been to whose house is kind of... You know how I know you're gay? | |
| It's kind of gay? | |
| I'm not saying it. | |
| Why not? | |
| I've heard some stories. | |
| What, we don't out people here? | |
| I'm trying to think of... Before I... I have to confirm with the person who told me. | |
| Well, look it up, Ryan. | |
| Seth, did Seth Rogen come out and I didn't notice? | |
| I think he likes to do a lot of, uh, partying and sit naked on his couch. | |
| Ew. | |
| People in his house. | |
| Ew. | |
| He's married. | |
| You know, a penis is, is not a good looking thing. | |
| But I may not, I may have the name confused. | |
| Cause I don't pay attention to like all these guys. | |
| Oh. | |
| Okay, there's a couple things I got lined up. | |
| One of them is So you have a certain celebrity in the movie confess that he's gay. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Could you do me a favor right now and just make this the interview of a lifetime and could one of you confess to me that you're gay? | |
| You want to come out of the closet for me right now? | |
| We can both do it. | |
| You can do it? | |
| Could you? | |
| We're both gay. | |
| We're both gay. | |
| I knew it. | |
| Now are you dating each other or are you dating James Franco? | |
| Remember that fucking movie, The Interview? | |
| We pussied out as a nation and refused to show it in theaters because there was a rumor That Kim Jong-un was offended by it and he might hurt us. | |
| That was a dark time. | |
| I remember being like, okay fine! | |
| Without even him saying anything, there was a rumor that he had threatened America. | |
| And we all shat in our drawers. | |
| Fucking pussy central. | |
| How embarrassing. | |
| Now this is about his gay nails. | |
| Seth Rogen's fans slam gay remarks as actor rocks orange nails. | |
| Doesn't he rock those nails? | |
| He fucking rocks those nails. | |
| So what is it? | |
| He's got a limited run of these gloopy ashtrays that he makes. | |
| Ceramic ashtrays. | |
| Each one comes with a signed certificate. | |
| And he did his gay little nails. | |
| So I guess he makes one and then some Chinese slaves duplicate it? | |
| Make the rest, yeah. | |
| More than likely. | |
| Seth Rogen is sorry for all those gay jokes 2019. | |
| I'm so nauseated by Hollywood I can only tolerate it in small little doses. | |
| I mean talking to Josh yesterday about comedy clubs and how the whole genre of stand-up comedy has been obliterated by faggotry and feminism and affirmative action. | |
| Where the perfect example is Bill Burr's new special, where the main thread is everyone is racist, white women are annoying, Kyle Rittenhouse is a racist, and abortion is awesome, and it's not remotely funny, totally embarrassing, and all the comedians were chosen not by how funny they are, these are not friends who kill, these are friends who are gay, female, black, Asian, blah blah blah blah blah. | |
| So fucking boring. | |
| Did you see the, uh, the Congresswoman from Rhode Island? | |
| She came out, or put out a video last night, late last night, whatever, and she's blaming everyone that it's racist that they don't like black gay women. | |
| Yes. | |
| Oh Jesus Christ. | |
| That's 1-7. | |
| Oh. | |
| She twerks in a video. | |
| She stands on her head and shows her disgusting fat ass. | |
| Do you hear her saying, oh look at that ass, look at that ass? | |
| She's like talking to herself as she's filming it. | |
| She's like, oh yeah, that ass. | |
| Well this was, this is a running theme for today's episode is Affirmative Action. | |
| Affirmative Action's ruined comedy and look what it's done to politics. | |
| Vote Senator Mac! | |
| Vote Senator, she's a senator. | |
| She's already, she's running for re-election, not election. | |
| She's already been elected. | |
| Vote Senator Mac! | |
| You don't have the other one where she talks about it? | |
| Yes. | |
| How she's getting ripped off? | |
| Go to her 1-8. | |
| She says, well, if you check her TikTok, she's using it from the official TikTok of her district. | |
| This isn't her personal TikTok. | |
| So she has 16 responses to this. | |
| It's taking up all of her time. | |
| How many of you may have seen the video of me twerking upside down on the beach on my day off? | |
| There have been good and there have been bad comments, but the conversation has not shifted towards why my body is a topic of conversation in the news in the first place. | |
| You made it. | |
| What? | |
| So if you act like a fucking imbecile, we shouldn't talk about it because abortion is not illegal. | |
| She put her body out there. | |
| You twerked upside down. | |
| We've never seen a politician do that. | |
| Your ass sucks, by the way. | |
| You may want to have a great ass if you're going to be twerking upside down. | |
| What I'm saying is, you put the video up. | |
| Yeah. | |
| You asked for this, you stupid bitch! | |
| And then she's like, why is everyone talking about it? | |
| Go to the next one, 1-9. | |
| She said, y'all have to watch how you talk about black and queer women. | |
| - She said, "Y'all have to watch how you talk "about black and queer women." Look at all these responses. - Oh, when she was a teacher, she taught it in her classroom. | |
| Oh, it's crazy. - The bottom left there is the twerk one, and then the remaining 16 are responses. | |
| She talks, she responds to every single comment she gets. | |
| Oh my god. | |
| What? | |
| Baby girl. | |
| Baby girl. | |
| No. | |
| This ain't it. | |
| That's a good comeback. | |
| This ain't it. | |
| Because I have an Ivy League degree and I'm a sitting state senator. | |
| And you know better. | |
| It's not about what I'm wearing. | |
| It's not about what I'm doing. | |
| The affirmative action has turned politics into Zimbabwean garbage. | |
| This is in the beginning, in the beginning, This is shoot the boar. | |
| This is fucking raging incompetence. | |
| I just saw a video of some, I don't know, Kenyan official get caught with embezzling money and he fakes a seizure and pretends that he's passed out so the paramedics will move him out of there, which they don't do. | |
| They all start trying to open his mouth to get air in. | |
| It's fucking bizarre. | |
| It's a fucking clown show. | |
| And then remember Crystal Matthews from last week? | |
| Piece of trash Like she sits there calling herself the n-word if you were to call her what she calls herself you'd be cancelled but she's like I'm a real deal and I can turn it on and turn it off and I need some of that drug dealer money I need them duffel bags and she talks to two inmates. | |
| I don't know where I recorded phone Yeah, and you got to know you're when you talk to inmates a hundred percent of it is public being recorded but go to two zero and This is, we talked about this last week, but what I found more amazing... Where the fuck is my black people with money? | |
| They gotta be able to take that shit on their chin. | |
| And I still gotta struggle to raise money for my campaign? | |
| Where the fuck is my black people with money? | |
| I don't care about no dope money. | |
| Give me that dope boy money. | |
| Where the fucking dope, where the dopple bag money? | |
| By the way, previous to this, she was saying we need to have people run in red states as Republicans, but secretly be Democrats. | |
| Right, so they can infiltrate and turn it over. | |
| Which is, again, African levels of corruption. | |
| And I'm not saying this because they're black. | |
| I'm saying this because affirmative action has destroyed politics in places like, in third world countries like South Africa, and now it's ruining our country. | |
| But what was amazing about this is not so much the corruption, She kept saying it was a private conversation, but her reaction when she was caught Right? | |
| 2-1 she goes the people I didn't do anything wrong it was a private conversation and then in that one she goes before this part she goes uh I don't have the duffel bags I just said give me the duffel bags but I'm not getting illegal money I just wanted I just wanted some that's conspiracy yeah and then you'll go to jail because you profited from the ill-gotten gains you fucking moron how did you get elected anywhere Yeah, drug money is bad for your campaign. | |
| It's not like it's magical and it's erased. | |
| If you spend drug money, then you're in trouble. | |
| Yeah, if you profit anyway. | |
| Well, they always use that to bust guys, right? | |
| They say, you got your mom a Land Rover, so she's gonna go down unless you start talking. | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| They leverage you with anything. | |
| But look at this reaction. | |
| Isn't this a third world reaction? | |
| I shouldn't have used Africa because now they're going to make it all about race. | |
| This could be Venezuela. | |
| That's a better analogy. | |
| This is Venezuelan reactions. | |
| It should be noted that this doctor audio is being leaked by Project Veritas, a known white supremacist group. | |
| You can't even say supremacist. | |
| A known white supremacist group. | |
| My words were taken out of context. | |
| No, your entire 40 minute conversation is online. | |
| - She stood by her comments. | |
| She said they were taken out of context. | |
| - My words were taken out of context. | |
| - And now I'm asking her for that. | |
| - No, your entire 40 minute conversation is online. | |
| And the context is overwhelmingly clear. | |
| - Do you think there's gonna be ethics hearings Do you expect any sort of significant action? | |
| Look, I'm filming you. | |
| I'm filming you. | |
| Yeah, he's filming him. | |
| They's filming they. | |
| Alright, so that's enough of that. | |
| Ah, dude, just leave her alone. | |
| She's just trying to have some food and you're fucking bothering her. | |
| Nah, it's brutal. | |
| You know, she's just sitting there having a fun time and she's talking some shit on the phone. | |
| She's talking about corruption. | |
| She's talking about politicians running as one thing secretly as spies. | |
| That's being called compromised. | |
| They're all corrupt. | |
| Yeah, that's treasonous. | |
| They're all corrupt. | |
| You know, if you look at, you know, the white people that started the country in the first place, you know, they got the locking up the Chinese, making them work on the... Yeah. | |
| Do you know your white Bill? | |
| I got a black wife. | |
| Yeah, I know. | |
| Yeah, we're getting bored of your new Bill the Burr with the black wife. | |
| You don't see this hair? | |
| Look at this. | |
| I grew this out. | |
| This is real. | |
| It's natural. | |
| Nobody cares. | |
| Nobody cares. | |
| Get over yourself. | |
| It's a fro, dude. | |
| I can say the word if I wanted to. | |
| I just don't want to. | |
| Last note on this affirmative action. | |
| Uh, no, no, not the last note. | |
| Boris Johnson has been forced to resign because a gay got too drunk and grabbed someone's ass. | |
| If a gay man grabs my ass, I will hit his hand away and maybe shove him and say, what the fuck are you doing? | |
| I will not secretly report it to someone and demand ten years later that someone get fired for not doing enough. | |
| Can we handle our own asses, please? | |
| Do we need to? | |
| Exactly. | |
| Jesse, you just did the same predicament. | |
| No, that one was lies. | |
| This one is, it happened, but the way they handled it is good. | |
| Beta! | |
| Beta! | |
| So, Jesse, were you going for the alpha males or the betas? | |
| Well, that's the thing. | |
| I would test them to see if they were gay. | |
| And guess what? | |
| They weren't. | |
| Had to pass the smell test. | |
| So go to 2-3, Jesse. | |
| Okay. | |
| Now, I don't know if, when I hear about a gay man in politics, I think it's 50-50 affirmative action. | |
| Ed Koch. | |
| Look at this guy's gay face. | |
| Ed Koch, yeah. | |
| I looked him up. | |
| He has a pretty long history of politics, though, so maybe he's not an affirmative action. | |
| But it is kind of affirmative action-y that there's all of this outrage because he got drunk and grabbed some dude's buns. | |
| Like, who fucking cares? | |
| That's between you and the guy with the buns. | |
| And a man should be able to handle his own buns. | |
| That's a t-shirt. | |
| It don't be funny? | |
| Handle your own buns-ness. | |
| It'll be funny. | |
| Affirmative auction. | |
| It'll be like, oh we got a black trans woman here. | |
| We're going once, going twice. | |
| Black trans auction here for secretary. | |
| Secretary going once. | |
| We got a black girl here. | |
| We got a black woman with a dick. | |
| Everybody who wants to have a black woman with a dick is sold to the company. | |
| Well you can add to that list of bids the three people who have demanded That Boris Johnson leave. | |
| Would you like to hear their names? | |
| Yeah. | |
| These are the three prominent British politicians that have demanded Boris Johnson quit and he did. | |
| He took their advice. | |
| Crazy. | |
| They are Nadim Zahawi, Sajid Javid and Rishi Sunak. | |
| Oh. | |
| All refugees. | |
| Chancellor of the Exchequer, Nadeem Zahawi. | |
| He's an Iraqi Muslim immigrant. | |
| And it's weird to say immigrant in Britain these days because half the time like if they were born here their parents are immigrants and their parents didn't speak English. | |
| Like if you grew up in Luton as a Muslim you could not speak English for 10 years no problem. | |
| It's a fifth column. | |
| So there's so little assimilation. | |
| Are you even immigrating? | |
| It's like a Pakistani colony in Luton. | |
| So yeah, the first guy had just been appointed the day before by Boris, and his first motion was, you should quit. | |
| Nice loyalty. | |
| And then the other guy, Sajid Javid, he's Pakistani, Muslim. | |
| His mom didn't speak English for her first 10 years here, that's 2-5. | |
| And then the last guy, Rishi Sunak, he's an Indian, a Hindu. | |
| By the way, all these guys complain about racism all the time. | |
| He's like an Indian aristocrat who comes here and his first order of business is, let's make sure Boris Johnson gets fucking fired. | |
| Well, they're not too big on homosexuals either. | |
| Yeah, that's funny. | |
| Have you known to kill them? | |
| Yeah, the three, yeah, the three, we'll say Pakis. | |
| It's a, it's a racial epithet that is ignorant because it includes, it includes Indians and Sikhs and people who are never near Pakistan, but that's why it's funny because it's dumb. | |
| like calling a gook a chink. | |
| But um-- - Or nip a zip. - But these three packies, for lack of a better word, coming from the most anti-gay culture imaginable are now forcing the Prime Minister to quit 'cause a gay got too horny. | |
| And now is that affirmative action clown world or what? | |
| There's naked women on page three in a fucking daily newspaper. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I mean it is so openly, the sexuality in England, Scotland and Europe is so open, it's ridiculous. | |
| It's on the tenants lager beer cans. | |
| It's ridiculous. | |
| The beer cans have naked ladies on them. | |
| My last note on affirmative action is, of course, our last two press secretaries, Corinne Jean-Pierre, who was hired because she is a gay, immigrant, black woman. | |
| Four. | |
| The only thing she's not is crippled. | |
| Or trans. | |
| Well, with gay, you can kind of mess around with that. | |
| If I was in the DNC, I'd smash her kneecaps with a hammer and get her in a wheelchair, and then we'd have five. | |
| We'd have five things. | |
| So both her and Jen Psaki, when Ketanji, what's her name? | |
| Ketanji Jackson Brown was elected. | |
| She was elected because she's a black woman, of course. | |
| Joe Biden said, I'm going to elect a black woman. | |
| I don't care who the fuck it is. | |
| And he did the same with the press secretary. | |
| And these affirmative action hires are talking about that affirmative action hire and they fucking spell her name wrong. | |
| Now that might not seem like a big deal to you, but if you're the press secretary and you're talking about a Supreme Court judge, don't call her Kent Adjie Brown Jackson. | |
| Come on! | |
| And then look, so that's Corinne Jean-Pierre, and then go down to Jen Psaki, she'd make the same fucking mistake. | |
| Kataji. | |
| And then finally we have... | |
| Kamala Harris, and you know the staff around her are all affirmative action hires, and her entire cabinet is so shitty, and so devoid of meritocracy, that when she's in Louisiana, some AA hire spells it Louisiana. | |
| Essence. | |
| Seriously. | |
| How can you not spell? | |
| It's your job! | |
| Wait, is that me? | |
| Go ahead. | |
| Same thoughts. | |
| Same time. | |
| That's hard. | |
| What about the black Republican congressman running for Congress with the AR-15 and the Klansman? | |
| Yeah, well that was funny though. | |
| That was cool. | |
| Insane! | |
| And that's using, that's using the left's bullshit rhetoric against him. | |
| Okay, we're gonna start taking some calls, but before we do, I would like to thank our second sponsor, Fop Metals. | |
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| He's destroyed the economy so badly with such brutal gas prices and terrible lies about it being Putin's fault that I'm actually impressed. | |
| I actually look at Biden and I go, wow, I used to think the president didn't have that much authority and he was just a puppet. | |
| But when you get a retard, he really fucks up the country. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Like Pete Buttigieg, when he's in charge of the supply chain, you go, oh he's just a pup, he doesn't really do anything. | |
| No, he skips work for like six months to be with his newborn and the supply chain ends. | |
| So maybe these guys do have some power. | |
| At any rate, Go to FopMetals, P-H-A-U-P-Metals.com. | |
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| Make this full screen, Ryan. | |
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| Hedge your bets with some silver and some gold. | |
| Silver and gold. | |
| Silver and gold. | |
| It's a perfect time to buy. | |
| It's a very prudent thing to do. | |
| No one's saying empty your bank account and spend it all on silver and gold. | |
| But you'd be insane not to have some. | |
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| So put something aside, a few hundred bucks, For a rainy day, because who knows what is going on with this dollar. | |
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| P-H-A-U-P Metals dot com, all one word, and use promo code Gavin. | |
| Gavin. | |
| I'm losing my voice already. | |
| Uh, alright Rye Guy, I think we can afford to open up the phone lines and, at the same time, open up the mailbag. | |
| Okay. | |
| What do you think of that, slowest person alive? | |
| I think, first of all, I was getting ready for calling, thank you, but, buy freeloaders. | |
| Oh wait, wait, wait, yeah, we should do that? | |
| No, no, don't, look, I decide how this show works, shithead. | |
| Oh no, I'm just changing things around. | |
| No, well don't change anything around. | |
| Shut up, you don't have a dad. | |
| Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. | |
| Let me touch it. | |
| I like to have some calls and some letters in the free section so some people can see what the fuck is going on. | |
| Okay? | |
| Yes. | |
| Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. | |
| Oh, I got a sneeze, but I don't got a sneeze. | |
| You lost it. | |
| The sneeze. | |
| The sneeze is gone. | |
| Where did those sneezes go? | |
| The island of misfit sneezes? | |
| These sad little lonely sneezes that never work? | |
| It's like an abortion. | |
| Death of Sonny! | |
| Hey Hetros, last week was Sonny Barger's passing, just wanted Maddie's opinion, if any. | |
| AFFA, great show from Shitty Grammar Kid. | |
| What does AFFA mean? | |
| Angels Forever, Forever Angels. | |
| Oh. | |
| Yeah, it's a, uh, the motorcycle community, especially the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club, lost an icon. | |
| I mean, in 83 years, a long run. | |
| So, uh... Yeah, so he didn't technically start the Hells Angels, but it wasn't much when he showed up. | |
| Oh, it was the third charter. | |
| He had Purdue, then San Francisco, and then Sonny opened Oakland in, I think, 57. | |
| And what a bunch of lives he changed. | |
| Oh, he definitely was the visionary who took the club to where it is today. | |
| And I think a lot of outsiders, well I'm an outsider, but a lot of outsiders would say they're just a bunch of criminals. | |
| I'm an outsider too now. | |
| Drug dealers, yeah. | |
| But you don't get, you're not on the inside, you don't get to see the fun. | |
| Right. | |
| Like with Proud Boys people go, oh they're racist, they go to a parade and stuff. | |
| Yeah, you're not at the meetups, you're not at West Fest with thousands of people, guys, I'm marrying dudes. | |
| I'm not literally, I'm officiating the marriage. | |
| And fucking all night parties and a boxing ring, fucking strippers. | |
| It's awesome times like think of the the amount of awesome times that are His that that happened because of him if you could put that in a fucking shipping container He's an icon a legend, you know American legend 100% I Always had a good time when I met him tons of times, but hey We're all gonna die at some point. | |
| Did he have any money? | |
| Hey, he did, you know, he wrote like five books, he had a movie done, you know. | |
| He had a bunch of motorcycle shops throughout his life. | |
| Sure he had a few dollars. | |
| Rest in peace, Sonny. | |
| There's nothing wrong with watching censored.tv and driving. | |
| I do it most days. | |
| I just drove from Aiken, South Carolina to Pennsylvania. | |
| I shoe horses. | |
| So I watched many a video. | |
| I just set it up on a stand under the steering wheel so I can peek down and look. | |
| It's better than holding and scrolling on the phone. | |
| Yeah, I have to admit, I do that too sometimes. | |
| That's dangerous. | |
| I won't look at it, but, you know, sometimes if he's like, look at these fucking tits, I'll just have a quick glance. | |
| Watching TV while driving. | |
| What a world. | |
| And I don't wear a seatbelt. | |
| I'm anti-seatbelt. | |
| That's one of my more controversial views. | |
| I think it makes you drive shittier. | |
| Yeah, but what if someone smashes into you? | |
| Eh. | |
| It's not... no. | |
| Do you have a seatbelt on a motorcycle? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Dear Gavin Gay, I'm just forwarding you an abortion story for your new state. | |
| Where are state leaders taking extra steps to ensure a right to abortion? | |
| Well, Colorado, North Carolina. | |
| Am I in North Carolina? | |
| South Carolina. | |
| It's Greenville. | |
| I'm in South Carolina. | |
| So, yeah. | |
| Wrong state. | |
| That's the wrong state. | |
| That's a dumb letter. | |
| Suck my balls. | |
| Fuck yourself. | |
| Someone named Victoria sent a yard sign that the neighbors should love. | |
| It says, We Believe. | |
| Blacks commit more crime. | |
| Trans are mentally ill gays. | |
| Marriage is for straight people. | |
| Women have too many rights as it is. | |
| God is real. | |
| Life begins at conception. | |
| Voter fraud is a threat to justice everywhere. | |
| Yeah, that's a great sign. | |
| I love that it comes from a chick. | |
| It's amazing how many broads we have as fans. | |
| And I was saying this to Anthony last night when I looked out of the audience in Orlando. | |
| There was lots of hot broads. | |
| I think it's because we're so pro housewife. | |
| That a lot of the moms support us and then the hot thing would be because we're kind of hipstery and we talk about fashion and pretty girls and stuff. | |
| That's just my theory. | |
| What are your takes on testosterone replacement therapy? | |
| I'm 31, I've been diagnosed with slightly low T. Should I inject the sauce or just be natty? | |
| I don't know what I tried. | |
| HGH? | |
| Did I try something? | |
| No, it was like the precursor thing that stops your estrogen. | |
| I forget what it's called. | |
| Clomid. | |
| You did Clomid. | |
| It tells your body, yeah, that sounds right. | |
| It tells your body to produce more testosterone, but it's a good way to do it because your body never forgets how to make testosterone. | |
| When you take testosterone, your body goes, oh, someone's already handling this, I'll stop. | |
| And then when you get off it, you're fucked. | |
| That's at least what the doctor told me. | |
| But I didn't like it. | |
| It increased my ability to grow muscles like 2%, 3%. | |
| It wasn't a visible difference to anyone but me, really. | |
| It really just helps you recover. | |
| uh it's crazy how is someone at 31 well i i get now it's because there's they're killing and what the younger generations are more virgins more low t more everything just not men yeah 31 years old you got low t Like, I'm 50, and I got more tea than Ryan. | |
| Well, according to that one thing. | |
| Yeah. | |
| What, science? | |
| No. | |
| Blood work? | |
| Whatever that was. | |
| It wasn't blood work. | |
| My blood work. | |
| It was blood work, actually. | |
| Alright, according to blood work, which is not well-established, it's pretty flat-earthy, this blood work. | |
| That site has been flagged for a lot of sus results. | |
| Like, guys did it twice, and then just completely different results. | |
| So I'm gonna take it again, and you're gonna take it again, now that I have the company card. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy that. | |
| Okay, you do that, Low-T. | |
| These are something- Medium. | |
| These are something- No, not medium! | |
| It was medium-low. | |
| That's low! | |
| Medium-low. | |
| No such thing. | |
| There is- There's low, there's medium, there's high. | |
| It's a spectrum. | |
| If you're below medium, you're low. | |
| No, I'm not. | |
| This is why you're dumb. | |
| Because you have a force field around you that blocks out facts. | |
| And you can't grow that way. | |
| You should come up with some sort of brain tea. | |
| That should be my name, Brain T. Anyway, um, but I'm not done. | |
| So I felt like, uh, I noticed I was going bald, and this is my only good feature left, so that was a deal breaker, but I also didn't feel like myself. | |
| I felt like a guy who had rented Gavin McInnes' body, like the Terminator, when he takes over someone, and my kids were like, I don't know, it was weird. | |
| They were like someone else's kids, and I didn't live in my home, like, I felt like a weird robot. | |
| So I turfed it. | |
| There's natural things you can do. | |
| Sleep is probably the biggest one. | |
| You know, I got my sleep in check. | |
| Yeah, that's never been an issue with Mr. Puerto Rican over here. | |
| No, no, it was terrible. | |
| I was going to sleep at four in the morning. | |
| Dude, you went to sleep once when you were driving my car. | |
| Well, I'm not saying that I don't take... I used to take naps. | |
| Okay, can you shut up, please? | |
| But wait, look at Freddie Prinze Jr. | |
| when he was 19 years old. | |
| On Johnny Carson. | |
| I love his wife. | |
| You love his wife? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Is she hot as shit? | |
| What are you talking about, Ryan? | |
| This is Freddie Prinze Jr. | |
| Yes, we're wait- Well, we're waiting. | |
| That's Sammy Davis Jr. | |
| Is that a joke? | |
| Look at him. | |
| This is a 19-year-old. | |
| That's Freddie Prinze. | |
| That's his father who killed himself. | |
| Not Jr. | |
| Prinze. | |
| This is what a 19-year-old was like in the 70s. | |
| This is what a 19 year old was like in the 70s. | |
| Yeah, he's been laid, he has a car. | |
| Yeah, he looks, sounds, and carries himself like a 30-something year old. | |
| When I was in high school, there'd be a guy with his own apartment and a truck and a beard. | |
| We started shaving in 7th grade. | |
| 12, 13. | |
| And then you cut to July 4th weekend when I'm about to jump off that cliff and I say to the 20 year old, what are you waiting for? | |
| And he goes, I'm being a bitch. | |
| It's acceptable. | |
| Hey Gavin and Ryguy, just dropping in, and Matty, just dropping in a quick 11 Twitch streamers seem to be the new haven for barely legal bucks and babes. | |
| This ho loves to dress up. | |
| No way this is not an obvious 11. | |
| Okay? | |
| Let's see what you call an 11. | |
| An 11! 11! | |
| Is she an 11? | |
| Um... Yeah. | |
| Yeah, I'm gonna go with, uh... I think I could go a little higher. | |
| But, I might... 7.6 seems generous. | |
| Yeah, I'm going to go with... | |
| I'll go with a 7.2. | |
| I think I could go a little higher. | |
| But 7.6 seems generous. | |
| That style is so corny. | |
| You have like a weeaboo style, sir. | |
| Okay, so you just called a 7.6. | |
| Let's compromise on 7.5. | |
| You called a 7.5 an 11. | |
| 11! | |
| And he's got other pictures over here with tons of makeup looking retarded. | |
| Just being a mime there, I guess. | |
| One man's 11 is another man's 7.5. | |
| Look at all her pictures together though, Ryan. | |
| There's this weird goth picture where she's pushing her friend up against the wall. | |
| They're in the hallway, yeah. | |
| Goth shit seems so cheap. | |
| Like, one of them's wearing goth Crocs. | |
| And then all that other, all that other, like, Hot Topic shit, it seems... You know when you buy a Halloween costume on Amazon at the last second and it's, like, plastic-y and... Yeah. | |
| It all just seems so low quality. | |
| Gross. | |
| It's crazy. | |
| Alright, do we have any calls? | |
| We do. | |
| Let's talk to them and then go behind the paywall. | |
| Alrighty then. | |
| This is a high school picture in 1950. | |
| Thanks for calling. | |
| They look like fucking 40 year olds. | |
| Look at the one in the front. | |
| She looks like she's pumped out seven kids. | |
| No, that's got to be the teachers at the front. | |
| No? | |
| Well, maybe not. | |
| They all look like teachers. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Fuck, people are getting younger. | |
| Hey, teach. | |
| We have Madeline on the line? | |
| 734, you're on the line. | |
| You gotta turn your mic on, Gav. | |
| Hello? | |
| Hi Madeline! | |
| Hi, I was just calling to talk about Robey Wade. | |
| Uh-huh. | |
| Well, last month I had a miscarriage and it was just such a Yeah, man, that must be kind of macabre. | |
| How far along were you when it happened? | |
| you know, these people are begging to be able to put themselves through what I went through. | |
| - Yeah, that must be kind of macabre. | |
| How far along were you when it happened? - I was 14 weeks. | |
| - Oh, God. - And then another thing too was, you know, we passed the baby in the hospital and they set up an entire like memory box for us and they set up for the baby to get buried And I'm thinking about, you know, these babies that just get aborted, what do they do with them? | |
| Throw them in the trash? | |
| Well, yeah, there was a... When did we get to decide whether, you know, a human being's life has value? | |
| When did we decide that? | |
| I guess what the hospital's saying is like, you think it's a kid, so we're going to have a funeral. | |
| If you don't... Do they issue birth certificates? | |
| Oh wait, this is really unfortunate timing, but this is a whack packer I'm trying to get. | |
| Stay on the line. | |
| Please hold. | |
| Hello? | |
| Who's calling? | |
| Well, you called me, Linda. | |
| You know who I'm trying to get, right? | |
| Yeah. | |
| I seen her yesterday. | |
| She's elusive. | |
| But yeah, as someone who went through a miscarriage, seeing people fight for the right to have their own miscarriage must be bizarre. | |
| It's very strange. | |
| I saw this video of a little girl, she was maybe two, and she was holding up a sign that said, our body, our choice. | |
| And the dad was next to her and everyone was laughing and clapping and repeating it with her. | |
| And I'm like, but you're the thing that was going to be aborted. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's like black people saying, bring slavery back or something. | |
| It seems gross. | |
| Yeah. | |
| I don't even know what to make of it. | |
| Like we get to play God and decide. | |
| Which lives have value. | |
| Yeah, it's not right. | |
| So are you gonna try again? | |
| Yes, of course. | |
| Yeah, of course. | |
| We have a one-year-old already and we had no issues with her, so... Good. | |
| Did they say what happened? | |
| Do they know what the cause was? | |
| Yeah, they know what it was. | |
| It was like a chromosomal issue where my husband's DNA got doubled and kicked mine out. | |
| So it was never gonna survive anyway, but... Wow. | |
| Well, get back on the horse and you'll look back at that miscarriage as a much smaller deal once you have another little tyke running around. | |
| Thanks. | |
| Cheers. | |
| Cheers. | |
| Good luck. | |
| All right. | |
| So that's enough. | |
| Who is the most overrated performer band? | |
| That's easy. | |
| Foo Fighters. | |
| Way overrated. | |
| So fuck us hearing about them. | |
| And I hate the way Europeans love them. | |
| Like they're huge in Italy or South Americans and like in Brazil they'll play to like 200,000 people. | |
| Something's wrong if Brazilians love you and Italians love you. | |
| I would say Drake. | |
| Drake? | |
| I don't I don't like to punch rock. | |
| So I punch rap. | |
| You don't punch Reich? | |
| Yes. | |
| Well yes I do punch Reich. | |
| That was close. | |
| All right, so now we're going behind the paywall. | |
| We're going to be with our baby monsters. | |
| In an intimate fashion, but I'd like to thank our sponsors Johnny Apple, CBD, Fop Metals, and I'd like to add a sponsor this week. | |
| Nita Fashion is back in typical Nita fashion. | |
| I wear suits every day except for the Thursday shows and I guess the Wednesday shows is Hawaiian shirts. | |
| But when you see me wearing a suit, I'm wearing a Nita Fashions suit. | |
| Now, these guys, use promo code Gavin, you get 15% off. | |
| These guys give you tailored suits to a tee. | |
| You have your own personal tailor. | |
| They travel around the world, you can make an appointment with them, and they'll measure your neck, your inseam, your waist, everything. | |
| Or, and they learned this during the pandemic, you can set up an appointment with them, most of our viewers seem to like Instagram DM, and they do a baby monster almost every day. | |
| These guys. | |
| They're very happy with our relationship. | |
| And the beauty of them is you can get a cheap shirt for $50. | |
| You can get an expensive shirt for $200. | |
| It's really up to you. | |
| Your suits could be as cheap as $900 or as expensive as $2,000. | |
| They have an incredible variety. | |
| The art of tailoring is pretty much a dead art here in America. | |
| You might find some tailor whose minimum suit is going to be $5,000 and it'll suck. | |
| But these guys are top-of-the-line traditional British tailors. | |
| They're in Hong Kong. | |
| And your suit just arrives in the mail. | |
| Little package. | |
| Take it to the dry cleaners. | |
| Get the wrinkles out. | |
| And there you have a suit that is so comfortable, it feels like pyjama. | |
| I swear to God, I'm more uncomfortable when I LARP as a blue-collar dude and wear my welding pants and boots than I am in a suit. | |
| Most people come home, they change out of their suit into sweatpants. | |
| I come home, I change out of my blue-collar clothes and put on a suit so I can relax around the house. | |
| Fits you, fucking perfect. | |
| And, like, you choose, it's, I always describe this, it's like a man's version of going to a spa. | |
| You're, you're that babied. | |
| You choose how many buttons you want, what the color of the buttons will be. | |
| Do you want a little train ticket in there? | |
| Even if you're a fucking, working in sanitation, you should have one suit. | |
| One grey suit. | |
| Hey, that's the chick that did our tattoos, isn't it? | |
| No. | |
| Oh. | |
| Looks like her. | |
| But he did get a need of fashions. | |
| For his wedding. | |
| They did buy stuff from Needle Fashion. | |
| Yes, they did. | |
| And one of my favorite things is it says your name in it. | |
| Isn't that cool? | |
| It's the kind of thing like your son will want to have after you croak. | |
| Unless he's my son and he's fucking six feet tall and can't fit into my clothes. | |
| I have your shirts and they have your monogram on the sleeve. | |
| You must be pretty proud of that. | |
| Do you think you're my son or something? | |
| No, I just think I wear your shirts. | |
| And I appreciate them very much. | |
| Ugh, I hate the way you think you're so cute. | |
| Hey, I'm just a cute little guy. | |
| Just a cute little lazy Puerto Rican with the teeth of a homeless man. | |
| Just me. | |
| Why don't you smile for us, cutie? | |
| Give us a big smile. | |
| There you go. | |
| What a cute kid. | |
| You look like a before picture at every dentist's office. | |
| What the hell? | |
| So now we're going behind the paywall, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. | |
| Why be surprised when they retreat? | |
| Their major weapon is deceit. | |
| When will we learn? | |
| Alas, alack! | |
| It's three steps forward, two steps back. | |
| Hold on, I'm coming. |