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June 27, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:19:53
S4EP134 - BITCHES BE CRAZY
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
Woman, woman, woman about the moment inside for the people.
Yo, we're doing nice and easy.
Are we that's Bass Nectar?
Nice and easy is a song featuring Rodney P sent in by a baby monster.
I like the jam.
I wasn't familiar with them.
I had to look them up.
I like to say a few things about the band, mostly so I don't have to pay for their music.
I can just say it's editorial.
That's the trick here, the legal loophole.
Bass Nectar is a DJ from San Francisco charged with sexual, being sued, not charged, sued, which is I'm always dubious of that.
Why didn't you just call the cops?
Charged with human trafficking.
What year is this from?
Two more women sued.
2021.
2021.
So I think he had a 16-year-old fan that he would fly to his various gigs and fornicate with.
And then later she decided I didn't like that.
So now it's rape.
And if you pay for the plane ticket, that's human trafficking.
Which seems, so they got to amend that law.
It seems like there's real human trafficking going on.
Like we get a van full of immigrants pouring out onto the street.
Remember that?
Or remember that whole arrest with like 27 kids?
Kid kids, not 16-year-olds.
We also should differentiate.
I don't like either, but guys who fuck legally 17-year-olds, like the stray cats, sexy and 17, and then gays who groom young boys and girls who are like eight.
With the former, it used to be the norm, much younger, like that groupie that Jimmy Page used to fuck, the Puerto Rican chick.
David Bowie and his wife fucked her.
Jimmy Page fucked her.
Her and Pamela, what's her name, Bars?
They were like the biggest groupies in New York.
That was just normal back then.
Liberace's boyfriend was 14 when he met him.
And then you had, what was his name?
Great Balls of Fire, Jerry Lee Lewis.
Elvis', I think Priscilla Presley was a teenager when he met her.
Apparently that movie's awesome.
But Tom Hanks blew it.
I haven't seen it.
This is a review from my family who had an affair and saw it without me, which hurt deep down.
But yeah, I saw that the...
Oh, wait, sorry, let me finish the first point.
So that's Bass Nectar.
He's in trouble.
And then Rodney P, he wasn't soliciting pics from young girls.
He's just beating the shit out of women.
So that kind of changes the music, I'm afraid.
What a collab.
Yeah.
This song is called Fuck and Rape Bitches.
Nice and easy, the song is called.
You know, you make music about what you know.
I guess it gets to a point where when you're a pariah like that, you can only collab with other pariahs.
Oh, yeah.
Sort of like our Orlando show.
They have a censored.tv of their own, yeah.
Yeah, the three, Josh canceled, Anthony canceled, me canceled.
And so we had a canceled show.
I've been staving off talking to you about it because I want it to be fresh for the show.
But I would say Raging hit.
Oh, yeah.
No, it ruled.
It ruled.
And I'm so vain that when I saw you out there and you were doing Donald Trump and people could see that it was Ryan, but then they could look above and see the face swap, which was my plan from day one.
Did you watch my Donald Trump intro and stuff, or were you in the green room?
Well, I was peeking through a vagina crack in the curtains like this.
I didn't want to give...
It's very distracting if you're watching a show and you see a head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I haven't really seen anyone's set or your shit, but I could see you from the side of the stage a little bit.
And I was looking at you slay, and I was just like, I'm a genius.
It was a great idea.
I made your success my success.
Making, like, having the face, like, I wasn't nervous at all for some reason.
I think it's because of that, because like the face tech, we planned it out.
We did a tech rehearsal.
It went great.
And so I even had a little controller.
So I kind of was doing this job there on the screen.
I had a little controller that could fade out the screen, fade it back in.
Oh, it's smooth.
Really smooth.
And your riffing was pretty good.
Thanks.
Great guy.
I had about three bullet points for each thing, and then I just kind of figured it would fill it in.
But yeah, very fun, really.
Really great time.
Yeah, and I had this epiphany.
I was really nervous all week, and then I was at the gym.
Did I tell you this already?
No.
Oh, yeah, because Friday was pre-taped.
Friday morning, I was like, wait a minute.
This is a chance to say whatever the fuck we want.
Retard, N-word, Holocaust.
Like, nothing's off the table.
This could be Eddie Murphy delirious.
I think the word faggot was MVP.
Faggot.
Well, you could say faggot today.
But you couldn't, like, books are gay, I said, on stage.
You can't really say that anymore.
It did feel great to know that everybody in the crowd, it was, you know, like with Josh, Denny, he was saying that sometimes you play a big show and they're not all there to see you.
But these are all our fans.
Right.
And they know the bits and they get the bird, which is the bald eagle and all that kind of stuff.
You can be super inside-y.
A lot of hot chicks.
Interesting, huh?
Wasn't that weird?
Yes.
I think Anthony and Josh were surprised by how many hotties there were.
And then we did a sit-down podcast.
I think that went a little long.
We did a Q ⁇ A, which was stupid because everyone's wasted at that point.
I was sad I couldn't hang out with Prowboys because we did the show, the podcast.
Then we did a meet and greet.
There was a lot of money from the meet and greet.
I think it was $100 a ticket, but that took two hours.
Dude, it was...
Yeah.
I wasn't exhausted until the very end until you could see the end of the line.
You're like, now it's starting to feel long.
But it was, everybody was so excited that it kind of makes you excited again.
You're like, hey, fucking.
Yeah, it's nice to have your ass kissed for two hours when everyone in the world hates you, but so many selfies you can fucking do.
And I suck at it and I want to talk to people, so I end up slowing the entire line down.
Oh, yeah.
Because I'm at the end.
So Anthony eventually had to come over and he goes, you don't have to blow them.
Let's go.
But he was chatting them up too, probably because he could see that it wasn't moving too fast.
Yeah, that's all it takes.
So we had me.
Oh, I forgot about that part.
I wasn't drunk.
I did Bud Lights all day, but we did a lot of Bud Lights.
Probably 10.
a headband on and he was dancing he was jumping up and down for like all the tiffany whatever songs oh that guy and i noticed that his headband was slipping a bit and it was revealing that his hairline is here no joke yeah it was bad that's why he was wearing the headband right so she couldn't see he's 40.
had some footage coming why you have some other things to say about your trip i just had no i just had a little bit well josh licash's buddy that led us through all oh yeah that's what i want to say the meet and greet was jim goad josh licash anthony josh denny ryan me and maddie and maddie odell got a lot of people got to visit everyone there that's a lot of celebs in the world of censored tv So everyone got their money's worth.
That's for damn sure.
I kind of imagine the meet and greet more like just a room, like a VIP room, which we should do next time.
But then everyone wants their selfie in their two seconds, so it wouldn't be a normal mingle thing.
You'd be like, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, boop.
Somebody gave me a single brass knuckle, which was made of copper.
It's called a ring.
It's a, I mean, yeah, it's a ring, officer.
And then somebody, this fucking guy brought a turtle.
Did you hear about this?
Yeah, I think you did.
He brought a turtle.
I don't really get the joke, to be honest, but he got stopped by security, and the security guard's like, yeah, I'm going to be honest, I've never seen a turtle before, so I'm going to ask somebody else if you could bring in a turtle.
And I was like, where'd you get a turtle?
He's like, I bought it from a breeder down the street.
It's in the car.
I was like, okay.
Reeking up the car.
I still don't get the joke, but that's a lady.
Yeah, a lot of people, they're not going to like this.
A lot of people gave me presents, and I was just like, I just left them there.
I don't want them.
Oh, yeah.
I have some.
I'm good for presents.
I don't want your shirt that says guns matter or whatever.
I don't want your book this big that I got to carry through the airport.
These are pictures taken of the border wall that were given to us.
He didn't want to give it to you because he knew that you wouldn't appreciate it.
Correct.
But there is one for you.
It says G-O-ML on the thing right there.
See, I don't want that.
What am I going to do with that?
I feel like Howard Stern here.
It kind of looks cool.
Yeah.
Well, you are a hoarder.
This is 160.
Great guy.
Yeah, so I just left the shit there.
I would have taken it.
I thought Anthony's notes.
I was like, I should have taken Anthony's notes and not sold them or anything, but it feels pretty important.
Another thing I got to say, dude, sign up for everything you can possibly afford.
Clear, global entry, TSA precheck.
Sign up for it.
I'm actually having trouble signing up for TSA PreCheck.
I might be on a list, but I did sign up for clear, and you would not believe the carnage I avoided in Orlando.
Holy fuck, it was a mob scene.
It was literally a mile long.
Maddie was there for like an hour.
I said, should I stay with you?
I don't think I should.
He's like, nah, go ahead.
Like, I paid for clear for a reason.
He can't go on any of those because he's a felon.
So I decided not to stand with him and move my luggage for an hour.
But there was whole rituals of people having to go into and walk alone as a sniffing dog is sniffing for like bombs and guns and drugs and everything.
Calm down.
I had no problem going through it.
Me and my wife and baby.
Can you believe Ryan brought his wife and baby?
What a fun backstage.
It was fun.
I don't know about the backstage, but it was fun to have her go on the airplane.
She was a dream.
We've really stretched a long way from the days of Motley Cruz backstage, huh?
That's true.
Just breastfeeding and fucking wives.
We're a pro family.
Yeah.
I ended up...
We got the hotel rooms fucked up, and Maddie ended up sleeping in my room in my bed, and he tried to fuck me up the ass.
Really?
Yeah.
How did you fail?
I shat on his dick.
It's like a natural impulse.
Like squid ink.
Right.
And then he started puking, and that killed the mood because the whole bed was covered in shit and puking.
And there goes the blowjobs, too, then.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Actually, speaking of killing the mood, I was hitting on my wife last night, and she's pro-choice, unfortunately.
And she goes, well, don't rape me because then I have to have the baby.
And I was like, oh, fetuses and rape kind of kills the vibe.
So I rolled back over.
Anyway, let's start the show.
So this is going all over the place.
Nancy Pelosi shoved a kid.
There was that Hispanic woman.
She's got a name like Maya Wiley.
And daughter of Myra Flores.
And you can just see what a cunt Nancy Pelosi is.
And how senile she is.
Who doesn't know that when a child is in your way, you say, hey, sweetie, do you think it could just slide over a little bit?
Look what she does.
Fucking move it, bitch.
She just shoves her out of the way.
Isn't this awesome?
Look, move it, you little spick brat.
I can't believe your cunt mom won.
Get the fuck out of here.
Why are you even here?
Move!
Move it.
Look at that.
And the girl's got balls.
She moved back.
Yeah, she kind of got it deeper, right?
Nancy Pelosi has been rich and had Hispanic servants for so long, she doesn't see them as people.
Like the landscapers would never let their kids stand so close to her.
She's forgotten that they're human beings.
I love it.
And these same people, you know, when they talk about diversity, they mean servants.
They mean landscapers, maids, nannies, au pairs.
That's who their diversity is.
So it's so strange that they see these people as second-class citizens and won't stop talking about equality.
Bitch, we hang out with them.
They're our friends.
You're not our friend.
Her tits seem to be shrinking.
She used to have fucking mammograms.
There was also an interesting little rally.
Not a rally, but a discussion.
Media manipulation, a free speech conference that takes acceptable people.
I would never make it to this list, but it has Tim Poole, Tulsi Gabbard, James O'Keefe.
And then this guy I hadn't heard of before.
He's a big socialist who works at the Jacobin.
And these socialists, they always look the same.
They're fat.
They wear a t-shirt and a blazer.
They're nervous.
And James O'Keeffe knew That the angle against him was going to be he's a media manipulator and he edits footage to change the thing.
It's such a weird allegation.
Like, you know, on Howard Stern, they'll have Robin, what's her name given?
Quivers.
Quivers.
And she'll be like, I like big giant dicks in my butt.
That's what they accuse James Akeef of doing.
Taking little segments.
But when you see his shit, you see the whole minute.
This is a nothing burger.
We got to send these people to re-education camps so they can learn to not be Nazis.
The context is always there.
Furthermore, he always makes the long version available.
But the only time the long version is necessary is if it's like the clips they make of me where it's just the N-word.
That's taken out of context.
His context is always there.
And then the people say he manipulates it.
So the irony is this dude took a James O'Keefe thing that was about teachers and how incredibly powerful the teachers' unions are.
And one woman is bragging about how a teacher called her student an N-word.
And she wasn't fired.
I remember them talking at a union conference about how you'd have to beat up your student, rape them, or call them the N-word to get fired.
And she that this was a different segment.
Anyway, the amazing part is this fucking...
I pointed to myself.
Everything's reversed here.
So this fat, disgusting socialist clown, when talking about James O'Keefe and how he manipulates the media, he took out that part of her saying...
So he manipulated the media while accusing James O'Keefe of manipulating the media.
Check out.
So he confronted him before the debate, which is a great way to knock someone off their footing and choose sides.
And of course, like all shit talking beta males, as soon as he gets approached, what happens?
They start shaking.
Go to 1-3.
Yeah.
The N-word mentioned by the union official.
Why are you laughing about the N-word?
Well, I'm not laughing at the N-word.
Yes, you are laughing.
I'm not laughing.
You're also shaking.
I'm not laughing at the N-word.
You're a liar.
Sorry, let me, if I can say something, sir.
No, no.
Sir, we'll talk about this on the panel.
You edit the tape.
Why did you doctor the tape?
Look at the adrenaline tape.
This is a lie because Lysa Plasznik was suspended in New Jersey.
It made the front page of the Star Ledger, and you doctored that out.
I want to know the name of this teacher who called the student the N-word, don't you?
No?
You don't care.
Wow.
Okay, guys.
We can do this on the panel.
The 20 cameras at once.
This is called sunlight.
How does it feel?
I'll release the full raw video tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm sure you.
Green pants with green socks is a bold stance.
I will be fascinated.
I will be fascinated to see if it's actually the full video.
Why did you edit the tape?
The same, and he's still going back to that same shit about the full video.
The full context.
The context, even of that short clip, was pretty clear.
She was bragging.
Wait, what's he saying?
New Jersey Teachers Union's Gone Wild.
And in that series...
This is a great series.
Thanks for the free advertising.
Yeah.
No, I think everybody should absolutely watch these videos to understand who and what James is.
And in these videos, he's doing two things, right?
So one of them is he's asking union officials, oh, would you defend me if I did this?
Would you defend me if I did that?
Which is like asking a lawyer, would you defend me if I was accused of murder?
Would you defend me if I was accused of double murder?
Yes, that's what a lawyer is.
And it's a good thing that you can't be in prison arbitrarily.
It's a good thing you can't be fired arbitrarily.
And in one of these videos, now, out of the many, many sleazy things he did, we didn't highlight this in the clip we did on my show.
I wish we had.
But in one of these videos, I do wish I had because I think it's an instructive case.
So in one of these videos, he's talking about a teacher who was accused of saying the N-word.
Did say the N-word.
And then, I don't remember exactly what the disciplinary process were, but they didn't completely lose their job.
They have, and he was taking this as, oh, see, unions think it's okay to say the N-word, which is obviously asinine.
Obviously stinking.
No, no, stop.
It's not asinine.
That's exactly what happened.
She was bragging that he called a student and was only demoted.
And he's saying, no, we just defend it.
These fucking lefties are such hypocrites because this same guy would be thrilled if any of us were canceled for saying that word.
I'm sick of saying that word and that word and talking about that word.
Anyway, let's move on.
Let's move on to feminism.
It's coming up.
We are the storm.
The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
Who said I was too pretty to fight?
And that's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
You know what we have a problem with our women today?
Mostly our young women, but our boomers too.
This vitriol, this hatred, this hubris.
They want to fight you.
And the pussy pass keeps getting denied.
They want to be raging sluts and beat up the world and dress like her.
Even in that clip right there, that black poet laureate, we are the storm and the ooh and she does all the little hand gestures.
Like her confidence is too high.
Female confidence has got to ridiculous levels.
And we see this with the abortion law.
The sluts have to travel law has become enforced.
And women are not handling it well.
And they're fighting with cops.
What do you think is going to happen?
Are you going to win?
Are you going to beat up that cop?
Anyway, here they are insurrecting 1-7.
So these same women, I guarantee you, were freaking out about Jan 6 and saying, remember that woman who said, every Thanksgiving, we're going to watch the New York Times video about Proud Boys rioting on January 6th so we can remember how horrible our country can be and how bad things can get.
Then these same women go here.
I think this is where in Wisconsin?
This is the one right?
Yeah.
Yep.
Wisconsin State Capitol.
Dude, you got to go to Wisconsin sometime.
Madison, Wisconsin.
Holy crap is it left wing.
Fuck Fox News, signs everywhere.
Faux news is a common bumper sticker.
One man protest, you'll just see a guy on his bike with tons of flags and he's carrying a sign and just driving around the Capitol in circles.
It is fucking ball central, boomerangry woman liberal central.
I guess because it's a student town with the University of Wisconsin.
Anyway, look at them all insurrecting.
Shut it down.
Shut it down.
Isn't that inhibiting the democratic process?
And I presume this was planned.
Look, they all have printed signs.
Is that not some sort of a seditious conspiracy?
Right?
The slut community was devastated.
1-8.
They realized they can't fuck everything that moves anymore.
That must really suck.
I like how the woman on TikTok say hookup culture will be absolutely decimated if Roe v.
Wade is overturned.
Okay, let's check it out here.
You got to get a bit bigger on that one.
On each of the pictures, I mean.
In case you're a man who doesn't care about Roe v.
Wade, just know that if abortion gets banned, hookup culture will be absolutely decimated.
What woman would have mediocre sex with a drunk Rando if he could potentially father their child?
She's speaking like a Christian fundamentalist.
So you're saying you don't want to slut around anymore and you want to only fuck Mr. Wright.
Yeah, that's what we're going for.
The slutting was getting out of control.
And I had a pretty nefarious past, but I think you guys outdid me.
I never had one girl get an abortion.
And now we're seeing women run around with t-shirts that say, I've had 23 abortions.
Just know that if Roe v.
Wade is overturned, heterosexual hookup culture will disintegrate.
Why would we risk letting someone who runs on hot pockets and jewel pods father our children?
Yeah, nice threat.
The next one is kind of cropped.
I can't really see it.
Since 75% of men only care about sex and money, I hope they, that's not true.
I hope they know this Roe v.
Wade decision could destroy hookup culture and leave them paying 18 years of child support.
This isn't just an issue for women, boys.
I mean, you're all, this is sort of like, have you noticed people keep rewriting the Bible and stumbling into its same rules?
Like no fap and no wanks.
That's already in the Bible.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Or sober October.
Yeah, that's Lent.
And then all of this meditation, all these cool meditation practices.
Yeah, that's called praying.
The wish it.
You know that stupid The Secret where you keep wishing something and it happens?
Yeah, that's prayer too.
And now we have these women going, we're going on a sex strike.
No more fucking dicks in an alleyway and sucking off random strangers.
We're going to wait till marriage.
Okay?
If you don't let us abort, we're going to get fucking married, bitches.
And then look at these abortion chicks fighting with cops, 1-9.
Like, they think they're going to win.
This is what...
I've never seen dudes act like this in my life.
They might yell at cops, but even the craziest ghetto riot, they don't lunge at cops like this and then come back for more.
Look, he's trying to wake her up.
Are you fucking stop it?
I won't hit a woman, but I'll shake the shit out of one.
And look, she gets drops draining.
She's crying, and then she's coming back for more.
They just keep moving in on them, screaming in their face.
You know, what we don't know is that he has the abortion.
There's a button that changes the decision in his pocket, so I think she's trying to reach for it.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, there is a button.
It's called a gun.
And if you reach and push a certain button, this all goes away.
You don't have to worry about it.
Speaking of worrying, actually, we have...
Do you have Jen Spetman on the line?
I do have her.
Yeah.
It looks like she's getting her camera all set up then.
There she is.
Hey, Jen.
Jen Putman.
I got to be honest here.
I'm kind of freaking out.
It's all right.
It's all right.
I feel that way too.
Like, I want to scream.
I want to scream right now.
Let's scream together, okay?
Okay.
Let's scream together.
Okay.
You know, there's kind of a happy side to this.
It's not totally legal everywhere.
The happy side is it's like this let's have to travel thing.
And that's, you can still get in the bushes.
Everybody wants to show the happy side.
I feel like you're not even listening to me right now.
Because I have responsibilities.
I'm going to do these freaking niches.
I don't think she could hear us.
No, I don't think so.
We lost the connection anyway, so...
Someone sent consequences in the mailbag, and it is good enough to make it to the show.
I make fun of Stephen Colbert because he has 14 people writing for the show, but we do get like 100 emails a day.
So I kind of have a massive team, too.
They just don't help with these funny jokes.
And what was this again?
Consequences.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is great.
This is great.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
So these guys charge the police, just like you saw Earlier, this is in Greenville, South Carolina, but they don't stand for that shit in Greenville, so they're getting arrested.
Some trans woman's getting arrested there, some dude with faked hits.
And listen to this woman talking about it.
You're gonna have to go back to the beginning.
Listen to her indignation over people getting arrested for fucking with cops.
They're tasing her, and she just hit her head on the concrete.
Fucking takes.
They just tased them.
And she hit her head on the pavement.
What you're hearing is consequences.
Baby Monster's right.
You're hearing what happens when people start pick a fight.
Like for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
Let her go!
What's your best number, King?
She needs medical attention.
She's not even medical.
She doesn't need medical attention.
Can she breathe?
Can she not breathe either?
Look at them shaking their head.
This is bullshit.
You know what I realized talking to someone the other day?
I don't really quite get all the details of this.
Like in Texas, if you needed an abortion, you couldn't get one, right?
Ever.
No matter what.
What if you needed the baby to be miscarried or you die?
Did they do that in Texas?
I think they still do that.
Yeah, I think they've always done that.
I don't know, though.
But wait a minute.
No, no, but it was a federal law.
It was a federal right to abortion.
So that would mean red states would have to do it.
So now it's saying, no, red states don't have to do it anymore.
And they won't.
It's not a big deal if it's not federal.
Here's the thing, ladies.
If you can still get an abortion, you don't have a lot to complain about.
And the craziest part is, outside of that, what we just saw, most of these protests, like the ones in Los Angeles, are in blue states.
So you're burning down your own blue city, screaming and attacking cops and getting arrested for, I guess, another state where they democratically voted and said, we don't want this here.
Remember, about 50% of women are pro-life.
Yeah, but they're stupid Christian pitches.
Oh, okay.
Sounds like you don't believe all women.
I'm feeling upset.
You know what you should do?
Is edit that guy back with her?
Yeah.
We tried it.
That's too woody, Alan, inside-y.
And we already did the joke much better than that.
Someone brought up something, 2-0.
Yeah, having companies who don't want to pay maternity leave pay for you to go...
Oh, we'll see how she phrased it.
I thought this was a very smart take on it.
The idea that employers will pay a female employee's expenses to go kill a baby so she can remain at work as a productive employee is so much more dystopian than any of the handmaid's tale fanfiction.
Fuck, man.
Hey, good news.
I'm pregnant.
Is there maternity leave here?
We'll pay for you to get rid of it so you can keep working.
Okay, thank you.
You're welcome.
Now get us to work.
That's so fucking funny.
So true.
You see Patrice O'Neill's take on it?
No?
This was awesome.
I thought I couldn't love Patrice O'Neill.
Wait, he's dead, isn't he?
Yeah, but somehow he...
He still gives hot takes?
I don't know how that works, but he still has the hottest of takes.
Yo, Patrice, thanks for the hot take, my brother.
My body may be cold, but my takes is hot.
He doesn't talk like that.
I had no idea he was pro-life.
You should do a Patrice celebrity mailbag.
Can you do it, Patrice?
I don't think so.
I could try it.
I don't think women should be, they don't have a choice.
I don't believe after they're pregnant, there's one excuse, great.
Other than that, it's not their body normal.
It's not your body once you're pregnant.
Wait, no, once it's an apartment.
After you're pregnant, it doesn't belong to you.
Because God didn't ask you if you wanted a choice to be able to make babies.
And He didn't ask us if men wanted a choice to be able to have sperm.
We just happen to be able to do it.
But the result is not your body.
The result.
I'm saying the result is the baby's body.
It's the baby's body.
It's not your body after you're pregnant.
Uh-oh.
I don't think women are.
Uh-oh.
This was also a very handmade's tale.
The left is everything they despise.
We should just stand back.
I mean, they're already ending their legacy, right?
They're not having kids.
So I've been thinking about this.
Like, when I see these people, like, fuck, I'm not having kids and fuck you.
I'm like, my children, and definitely my grandchildren, are never going to have to deal with you people.
You've purposely, not purposefully, you've purposely made yourself go extinct.
Bye-bye.
Home to no mommy.
But look at this fucking disturbing handmaid.
Bye-bye.
Bye, everybody.
Well, this isn't a good example of bye-bye, but it is a good example of the handmaid's tale.
Look at that.
You and I are in love, and our slave is in the background breeding for us.
You'll notice her face is covered, too.
Can't see the face.
Bye-bye, face.
This was a really weird thing that happened from it.
And first of all, I don't think it's statistically true.
If we ban abortion, there's going to be more black babies.
That's just a fact, which is why real deal heavy shit racists love abortion.
Like the woman who started Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, said it's good for the country's general DNA and IQ because there'll be less of them damn Negroes.
But to hear that kind of talk...
Oh, anyway, so that's the...
If you really are obsessed with racial politics in this country, then, and you want blacks to die, you should be pro-choice.
That's the best way to get rid of them.
I'm not that.
I don't want them to die.
But to say that being pro-life is good for white lives, Blacks are having the majority of the abortions.
So isn't it a disproportionately black thing?
What's this bitch talking about?
I think this was a slip-up, if you listen closely.
What she chose to say, right, life?
President Trump, on behalf of all the MAGA patriots in America, I want to thank you for the historic victory for life in the Supreme Court yesterday.
You know what I mean?
Like, why, life.
There was no...
Oh, she didn't mean to say white.
She was going to say wife because she kind of just fumbled.
Supreme Court yesterday.
Oh, sorry.
Victory for why life in the Supreme Court.
Victory for Stan Black and Stan Bly.
For why, life?
For life.
Yeah, that's it.
She's used to saying wife.
Well, look it up.
She made a statement or something.
Frankly, she's not wrong.
I mean, but it is kind of weird.
Oh, so I'm doing all this analysis.
Well, I'm not sure if it's a...
What was her name again?
Miller.
Just look up White Life Controversy Trump.
White Life.
Here we're doing live corrections on the show, folks.
But yeah, it's funny that this debate is ever considered racial or even that it's considered gender-based.
This debate is about the ethics of human life.
When is it a human?
That's it.
Yes, I know women tend to host the baby, but we're not really talking about her.
We're talking about it.
And it can be male or female.
So, by the way, when you've seen abortion-heavy countries like China, what they do to the girls, it becomes gendercide.
They're literally floating down the river.
Fuck those bitches.
You see that in the Middle East.
You see that in India.
You see it in a lot of cultures that are obsessed with the legacy and the money being passed down from generation to generation.
They don't want girls.
So when they see an ultrasound, they get rid of the cunts.
Here's this.
Okay, there we go.
Flub.
And scroll down and...
Yeah, Ryan cracked this case.
Detective Shitty actually cracked a case.
Holy shit.
Go down a bit.
She said it was a victory for White Life, and people.
Yes, we saw that.
Keep going.
Whether it was a slip-up or not, the audience heard White Life and didn't flinch.
They applauded.
No, not really.
It was kind of awkward.
And at those things, you can't really hear what's going on.
You're like, yeah, a lot of people get into the sort of the rhythm and the cadence of like, da-da-da, ta-dee-dee, badoo-be-doo.
They're not really parsing through the syntax and making sure they approve of every single quote.
Did not flub at all.
No, it wasn't a flub.
There was no fucking flub.
No, Dan, it was.
It was.
She was flaps.
She said it's a flub.
And by the way, the fucking dolphins have been good.
Whatever.
Go back.
Some Twitter users didn't find Wartman's argument convincing enough.
What?
So she's lying?
In what universe does someone mix up white life and right to life?
Oh, that's what she was doing.
Yeah, that seems pretty reasonable to me.
In what universe?
This one.
The universe.
Oh, Ron Flipkowski.
That guy's one of the worst.
I realize she will say it was a mistake, but it's what's in their head.
They're so desperate for racism.
Imagine living your life desperate for racism.
Miller has made similar controversial comments in January during a Moms for America, Save the Republic rally, where she quoted Adolf Hitler.
Hitler was right on one thing.
He said, whoever has the youth have the future.
Yeah, maybe she's just an idiot.
Hitler is right in that sense, that whoever does have the youth has the future.
We've learned that from McDonald's, Camel Cigarettes, Cheerios, the radical left, and their Drag Queen Story Hour.
And she's not saying that's what we should do.
That's saying that's what they're doing.
They're following Hitler's playbook.
Right.
Oh, I see, yeah.
Oh, that's two cases.
But don't quote Hitler anyway.
It's fucking lame that he's become the thing we all talk about all day.
I bet even he would be like, guys, fucking move on.
Move in Stuffenfaft.
That's his accent after moving to Argentina.
Well, he's been dead for so long he lost his accent.
He has hell accents.
You want to hear how Hitler talks right now?
He's like, oh my God, you guys need to get over this shit.
Sorry.
I'm the bad guy.
Get it.
I'm literally Hitler.
Is there an accent in hell?
Yeah, it's kind of grevely.
It's kind of like, yeah.
Doofus stuff.
It's hot down here.
I'll tell you what, I'd do anything for a fucking cold glass of water.
So yeah, that's another nothing burger that got plenty of fucking legs because people want America to be racist really badly.
Why?
Because they feel guilty.
Black failure, white guilt.
They want to explain black failure.
And the go-to for not just the left, but a lot of the right is they're victims of racism.
That's why blacks are doing badly.
Really?
Why are Indians doing well?
Why are African immigrants doing great?
Why are Asians destroying whites?
Why are whites the seventh most successful ethnic group in America after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6?
Oh, I get it, Gavins.
You think they're inferior.
That's why they're doing bad.
Is that what you're saying?
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying they're doing badly because you got rid of the dad.
You shattered the American black family.
Back before welfare was the thing to do, the crime statistics were just the same with black and white.
Things were going pretty good before welfare took over.
In other words, before communism got involved.
And besides, the beauty of this political sphere is we don't do identity politics.
So if McGill University loses all of their affirmative action shit and becomes 100% Asian, we don't give a shit.
If a bank is run by just white men and they're all there for merit, we don't give a shit.
If the NBA is 100% black dudes, go Benenes.
I don't care.
I just want quality.
I just want truth.
And finally, I was going to say, so I told you about I was practicing baseball.
I mentioned this on stage, actually.
I'm practicing baseball with my youngest boy, who's nine, and there's all these women chanting Abortion rights, abortion rights are human rights.
And then we got pictures and signs.
And my son's like, What's all that about?
They're in a park.
Like, it's not a very popular park up in Westchester.
And they go from like the CVS through a school to a park.
What?
And then they start screaming about abortion.
And my son goes, What's all that about?
And I go, they want the right to kill babies.
And he goes, oh, can we go practice that field over there?
And I go, why?
Let's try to hit them.
And he's like, yeah, maybe if I get a line drive, I could make it over there.
But yeah, if you're a kid and you see people saying, we want the right to kill babies, you must be like, hmm, I was a baby like six years ago, seven years ago.
This is making me uncomfortable.
Same with people with Down syndrome.
They must be uncomfortable when they see people screaming about the right to get rid of Down syndrome because it's basically gone.
They have successfully eradicated that person.
They have committed genocide.
Isn't that a thing we should talk about?
That they got rid of a type of person?
I mean, Hitler is the worst thing in the world, right?
He tried to get rid of the Jews.
What about the liberals who successfully got rid of Down syndrome?
When was the last time you saw someone in real life with Down syndrome?
That should be one of your face swaths.
I think last year.
You're going to do that?
Is that your new character?
I don't think that'll be anything.
Oh, you're doing it right now?
No, I'm not.
This is my real face.
Oh, sure.
You didn't do a character all day.
From now on, you have to do three guys a show.
Ew.
Oh.
But check out 2-3.
This just is creepy to me.
She's got a sign that says, don't force this on anyone.
And there's her two disgusting kids.
Like, mom, do you regret it?
Should we not have done this?
I'm sorry, mom?
Seems a little harsh to me.
Isn't it?
Don't force this.
I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
It's like that.
By the way, that guy's makeup is not getting him on the cover of a magazine.
He sucks.
It's like that article last week where it said, this teen Texan couldn't get an abortion, and now she has twins.
Did you see if you can dig that up?
And it's a woman changing diapers of two fucking gifts from God.
These are the cutest things in the world.
But we talked about it last week, right?
Yes.
The color on the picture is kind of gray, and they make them look a little stiff.
Like, you know, when you get knocked out and your feet are like, but even then, they look like little angels.
And this cunt who wrote the article is like, can you imagine being stuck with those?
And I'm like, yeah, awesome.
Yes, please, God.
Well, now I'm getting pretty old at 51.
It's going to be tough to be a dad at 72, but I wish we had twins.
That would have been perfect.
Three kids and twins.
So my teenage daughter, my teenage son, we could have stuck some twins in the middle, and then my nine-year-old.
So I'd have nine, and then 11, two 11-year-olds, and then 13 and 15.
Did you find the picture?
I'm going through all the GML notes looking right now.
That's not the way to do it, Ryan.
The way to do it is just to go Washington Post, Texas, teen twins.
Shall I do it in a fraction of a second?
No, I got it.
And twins.
After we get that up, I want to talk about Anna Navarro.
This Texas teen wanted...
Oh, they changed the picture, by the way.
Oh, interesting.
Let's see.
Got a disabled JavaScript.
I think I put it on Getter, too.
Anna Navarro, who has the IQ of a very intelligent child, maybe like a six-year-old prodigy.
Actually, no, yeah, that's about right.
She's a genius six-year-old, said, you know, it's very important we talk about abortion because I have a brother who has special needs.
You know, he's very expensive.
And, you know, someone shouldn't have to have someone like him and have no choice.
Hey, um, Anna.
Hello, Sergio.
How are you doing?
Not great, to be totally honest.
I heard your thing today.
Yes?
You talking about aborting me?
No, we can afford you.
But if we were poor, I would definitely want to abort you.
Oh, okay.
So if you went bankrupt, you'd suit me?
Well, no, you're already here.
But if we had a time machine and we were poor, I definitely wouldn't have...
I would have told my mom to kill you.
Okay, thank you.
I'm going to be buying a lock, a Deadbolt from my bedroom door on Amazon.
If it arrives, let me know.
What are you doing now?
Waiting.
So you're giving up on the Washington Post thing?
Oh, no.
Oh, fuck.
I just signed in.
Okay, you're not doing your job very well.
And is that picture anywhere there?
Well, you wouldn't know.
Okay, let's drop that.
That's a fail.
And let's look at the Ana Navarro thing.
All right, sounds to me like she's saying, I wish my brother was never born.
Or my family should have the right to not have my brother.
The ugly cruelty.
Ana Navarro points to special needs brother, other family with Down syndrome, for proof women need abortions.
Lady, like they say if you're going to have an affair in France anyway, they say it should be one gas tank away, which I guess is like 100 miles.
If you're going to talk about aborting people, maybe you'll try to leave the confirms, what's the word I'm looking for?
The confines of your own home.
Like you're talking about family members.
Take it down a notch, lady.
I am not anybody who tell you what you need to do with your life or with your uterus.
And because I have a family with a lot of special needs kids, I have a brother who's 57 and has the mental and motive skills of a one-year-old.
And I know what that means financially, emotionally, physically for a family.
And I know not how families can do it.
And I have a step-granddaughter who was born with Down syndrome.
And you know what?
It is very difficult in Florida to get services.
It is not as easy as it sounds on paper.
And I've got another, another step-grandson who is very autistic, who has autism, and it is incredible.
Now you're talking about aborting autistic kids?
Now we've got to get rid of people who aren't too obsessed with baseball stats?
Yeah, they're dead too?
Crazy.
And I have another.
I have an uncle with a huge birthmark on his neck.
He looks like Australia.
People think that he loves Australia and they talk to him with Australian accent.
It's very, very hard.
And so he wheeze it and a little bit of juice comes out where Perth is.
And I have a friend who is left-handed.
It's very hard for him.
When he draws with a charcoal pen doing life drawing, everything gets smudged.
He can only use pens.
When he writes with pencil, it's all smudging.
He used crayon on the Christmas card for us.
I couldn't read shit.
No, he tried to eat it as a barbecue and he picked up the chicken.
It's so messy.
I have a cousin.
He has very long hair.
It's very hard for him.
When he shit, he have to sort of butt it up in a man bun or it gets in the toilet water.
See, and when he starts sweating, oh, the water, the sweat go everywhere.
I know.
I have a neighbor who is not a supermodel or a rocket scientist.
I tried to kill her.
They say, no, it's very hard.
No one should be born, basically.
And then my other neighbor, I saw them going to get the mail once and they were limping.
So I think something wrong with them too.
Nothing wrong with them.
I have a great-grandfather.
He's very old.
It's very hard to get services.
He should have been aborted.
Some people are over 100 years old.
They need to be aborted now.
I have a niece, okay?
She's seven months old.
She sits herself, okay?
I have a baby.
He was born unable to walk.
They said he wouldn't walk till he was at least one year old.
He was in a stroller for one entire year.
And he couldn't go to the bathroom.
He had to wear what we call diapers.
And he would pee and poo into his diapers for almost three years.
They call them hoggies, but you don't want to huggy him when he shits himself.
I was pregnant.
The baby was going to be born on Christmas.
You know how fucked up that is for a child?
Because you get half as many presents.
Because they're already buying presents for Christmas.
So you get kind of like shitty presents as opposed to those fuckers in July.
So I aborted him and I got closer to July with the third after the third abortion.
Now my baby, she gets tons of presents Christmas, tons of presents July.
But then the birthday party aren't so good.
No.
Because everyone's away for the vacation.
So then I aborted her.
And then it's snowing on your birthday?
Nobody has to live with that.
Nobody should have to live with snowy birthdays.
Actually, I'm so annoying.
I'm going to abort myself right now.
Well, this just in.
And by the way, you know her brother watched the show because only retards watch CNN.
All right, let's get down to the mail B. Totally true.
It's a fact.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
Let me touch it.
You know, I don't feel that shitty today.
Oh, yeah?
The visiting John and Max that Monday was, I was, I didn't have AIDS, I was AIDS.
Then Tuesday I had AIDS.
And then Wednesday I had HIV.
And by Thursday, I was down to just a bunch of STDs and anal pain.
That sounds like shit.
I drank this weekend.
Fucking, I was telling, I feel like an asshole because I was telling Josh, Denny, like, how much I don't drink.
Be like, yeah, I don't drink either, man.
It'd be good to hang out with somebody sober.
And then as soon as we get in the room with, and Anthony's there, I'm like, I can't hang around Anthony's sober.
I'm going to be a fucking nerd and be like, remember that time you...
So just to be in the zone and relaxed.
Because you're such a fanboy?
Yes, I'm a fanboy.
That's gay.
But I drank until I with Rusty Cage until I disabled myself kicking a wall.
I was gesturing what I would do in a fight if we got attacked in Orlando.
Where?
At the bar you were doing that?
No, at his hotel.
We were just drinking whiskey straight until like five in the morning.
Huh.
Oh, that's you.
That's your wound?
That's my wound, yeah.
What happened?
Did you pick a scab?
It is the entire layer of skin ripped off of my foot and flap.
No, no, no.
It's bad.
I have a picture of it if you'd like to see.
Yes, I'd love to see.
I'd just like to warn everyone, this is not bad.
This is going to be super lame.
Well, give me an hour.
You're going to be embarrassed.
I think you're wrong.
I'm going to show you why.
Prepare yourselves.
This is SFW, safe for work.
Safe, SFA, safe for anybody, anywhere, anytime.
What?
That ruled.
No.
That sucks.
You changed the acronym as you were explaining what it is.
Good point.
Okay.
Well, here it is.
Oh, my.
I had no idea, Ryan.
I told you.
How many stitches did the aunt who stitched you up do?
My aunt is my uncle's wife.
That went nowhere, and I'm sorry.
Yeah, so what I did was when did we go down?
Friday night, right?
We got in so late that it was whatever.
Our flight clock got delayed.
Then we got in there.
Drank a normal amount.
Saturday, I started drinking around noon.
I knew the only way I could blow this comedy thing would be to be wasted.
So I stuck to beer, but I had to get doing something.
The biggest mistake we made was getting a shitty hotel.
Next time, we've got to do a good hotel with a pool that we can hang out in.
Drank all those beers, but I couldn't eat because I was so nervous.
I wanted to do a good job out of respect to the baby monsters.
I wasn't nervous like, uh-oh, people aren't going to like me.
I was nervous, like, I don't want to let people down, especially if they flew in.
Like, some people were from Australia, Sweden.
They had really trekked out.
They were all great.
Some couple drove like 16 hours.
Yeah.
Oh, that was a common thing.
I asked everybody where they're from.
I think the average was like a 14 to 7 hour drive.
Wild.
One of these guys had this...
Anyway.
With super insanely hot wife?
Yeah.
And when a wife is that hot and the guy's a fan, you want to be like, Can I have that?
Yeah.
Like, it was weird with my brother when he was a baby and stuff.
I was always a mean big brother.
So if he was eating like a Mars bar, I'd just be like, that's mine.
That's mine.
Everything is mine.
So then he would get older and he's like, you know, 20 and he's got a hot girlfriend.
I'm like, that's mine.
I want that.
No, Uday Hussein, you can't have that.
Now that he's huge, you could just put five open Mars bars in front of him and be like, go ahead.
Take it.
Fish ow.
This is called Muslim Inbred.
Not trying to laugh at the poor bastard, but is this dude not the most quintessential result of Muslim inbreeding?
Yeah, this is a tricky subject because I brought it up on Joe Rogan, and they said, Gavin McInnes literally thinks Muslims are too inbred to be in America, which I did kind of say.
I said there's problems with Muslim communities when they get to more than 10% of the population, and I think that's due to their problems with inbreeding.
And that blows people's minds because they haven't looked shit up, and they're not really genuinely curious about this shit.
But that guy absolutely is a result of that problem, and it's a major problem in the Muslim world.
And it's especially bad in Britain where it's a small subset of Pakistanis who have moved there.
So they have even less to choose from.
But here's how you bring this up to people.
First of all, you find the correct name.
I think it's called consensuation.
That makes you sound smart.
First cousin inbreeding.
And secondly, if you're sending someone an article about it, make sure the author is Muslim.
And that way they can't get mad and call it racist.
Consanguineous.
Consanginanius.
What's that?
Let's look it up, pronounce.
Let's make a music.
Consangenious?
Yeah.
Consanguineous.
Consantinople.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
So say consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
And make sure.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
Consanguineous.
Make sure you use a Muslim guy.
And here's another little tip, by the way, that I've learned over the years.
It's a lie.
I know I'm against lying, and I say the truth will set you free.
Here's a little white lie I like to do that really helps things.
And I'm sorry for doing it.
It's playing dirty pool, but it helps facilitate the conversation.
It gets things moving.
Tell liberals that you hate Trump, but you like his fans and his policies.
And it's like a magic sentence.
I say, look, believe me, I don't want the guy to come over for dinner, but I just think the country's better off with him.
And I think we need better borders and we need more free market.
And, you know, the people that support him seem like real, honest, good, hardworking blue-collar Americans.
And I feel an affiliation with that for whatever reason.
And they're like, oh, so you don't worship him?
I'm like, no.
Meanwhile, I would fucking kill my kids on Christmas Day to have him over for a BLT.
But that doesn't sell because they think we're part of a cult.
They think it's Scientology and he's out on Auburn.
So as soon as you cut that caesarean with the umbilical cord and you go, no, no, no, I find him annoying.
All the tweets, those were the worst.
Now, don't do this lie every time you talk to someone or you're a pussy.
But if it's very important that you facilitate a conversation, like say your sister is not speaking to you anymore, I find that's a very healthy little tip.
If he did come over under that circumstance, he'd be like, why is it so empty?
You live alone?
Why are you crying?
Why is there blood everywhere?
Is that tomato juice?
I don't really.
First look at that.
Lots of tomato juice.
Yeah, you see.
This one, this is weird.
I skipped over this in the notes.
I didn't see this one.
By the way, we didn't really look into him, but it looks like he's a little violent.
Well, these are the symptoms of inbreeding.
And you see it in radical Islam.
It's like extreme violence, inability to discuss things.
This is a Camp David negotiations with Palestine and Israel.
You're speaking fluent Muslim there.
I don't know.
There's literally nothing wrong with that.
So what do you think about a two-party state?
Is it possible?
No, no, put the cigarettes down.
We're trying to settle this.
What is that?
Freddy ate too much mercury?
Can women please just let their hair go free?
How do you feel about that?
No?
I hate that when you take off your Groucho Mark sunglasses, nose, and beard combo, and then only the glasses come off.
Wait a minute.
Not to drag you back into the beginning of the show, but what a fucking brutal typo, white life.
Yeah.
What an imbecile.
That's the worst type of typo.
Yeah, like that's one of the worst typos I've ever heard.
Optically.
I heard a great one.
Actually, it's in the notes here.
It's in the mailbag.
Actually, let's dig it up right now.
Eric Adams, who's such a fucking phony, go to, it's called Major Adams Ancient Chinese Secret.
And he's talking about, he pretends that he's scared of the way New York is going and he's worried about the crime.
You know why?
Because everyone is going, what the fuck is going on?
We hired a cop to run the city.
We thought there'd be some arrests.
You just keep going to parties at the Met.
He's like, no, I know it's bad.
I know it's bad.
I don't want this city to turn into the Wild West.
Except, he doesn't read.
He watches movies and he cannot say Wild West without thinking of Will Smith.
So if you go in about a minute in.
And we cannot allow New York to become the Wild, Wild West.
That is unacceptable.
That's not a career-ruining typo, but it is a respect-ruining typo.
You think it's called the Wild, Wild West?
That's a song, you boob.
That's a great song.
It's such a great song.
The Wild, Wild West.
I got to hear that again.
By the way, the chick next to him looks like she's been crying all day.
Become the Wild, Wild West.
He also can't speak.
It's called the Wild, Wild West.
Not the Wild, Wild West.
Maybe he's talking about the Jersey gas station.
We don't want to talk about the Wild, Wild West.
Maybe he means where the drinks are.
Like the soft drinks are in the west side of Wawa.
That's funny.
The Wild, Wild West.
Wild West.
Fucking boob.
I'm a wild, wild Western chauvinist, and I refuse to allopagize.
I hate the way he says community.
Community.
Oh, I heard him on the radio today, and yeah, he talks really weird.
Like, he took a pause and like, we have to keep this city intact.
Like, sometimes he'll over-enunciate a T. He's never read a book in his life.
That's a weird man.
He always talks about, too, like, when I grew up in Bushwick, single mom, she had to work three jobs.
We were so poor that I would have to bring clothes to school in case we got evicted.
Then in 1968, she bought a house in Queen.
What?
You were born in 1960.
Your mom worked three jobs and then bought a house in 1968?
Wow.
Those were three pretty good jobs.
You managed to fucking save up for and buy a house in eight years as a single mom?
Nice.
Maybe you're lying, Eric.
This is a city of swagger.
And without mentioning his predecessor, he loves saying swagger.
And the leadership should have that swagger.
That's what has been missing in this city.
All we did was wallow in COVID.
But is all swagger swaying New Yorkers?
He's an ex-cop.
That's what they do.
He's not an ex-cop.
He's an ex-transit cop, and he was nothing but a pain in the ass.
He spent more time protesting and talking about racism than he did actually policing.
He's the least cop cop I've ever copped.
While we're on weird stuff from politicians, did you see this video of Trump in the water?
No?
It's one of my favorite things.
I texted it to Josh.
I'll pull it up.
It's him before he's about to film something.
And he keeps...
I'm showing the drink on the TV, but I'm dying of thirst because Ryan made me eat a filet of fish for breakfast.
Make you.
I just say that.
I did ask if you wanted something.
So what are you showing me there?
Detective Shitstein?
Regular detective, just Detective Ryan.
Here.
Oh, yeah, this is famous.
Everyone's seen this.
The water and the picture, right?
This seems so normal to me.
Yeah, me too.
I didn't find it.
It's a really important shot.
The little sanitary thing on top of the cup looks stupid and it makes you look weak and like a germaphobe, which he is.
Not weak, but a germaphobe.
And then the little napkin underneath it is a bit much too.
It's distracting.
And that took some figuring out to do.
Yeah?
I don't think you want to have the water.
I like it, you're right.
You can take it off.
Take it off, Joy.
Yeah, put it over there, Nick.
There you go, Nick.
Kind of on this table as well.
Yeah, might as well take the table.
Dumb suggestion.
Thank you.
This is what it's like working with Ryan.
Put the table back because it's missing something.
Put the table back and put the water on the table without the thing on top of it.
I don't get...
Is this bad?
I don't think so.
I'm saying, does the left think this is...
I think they say it's unusual.
Like, it's weird.
I don't think it's weird.
I would die for any more of this footage of him just.
I would die to watch him brush his teeth.
Me too.
Oh, my God.
That would be awesome.
Great teeth.
I want to see him drive.
Actually, we did see a footage of him driving.
And his son posted he was in the backseat.
They were listening to Taylor Swift, and he was driving.
And I was like, this is awesome.
I don't trust liars.
Salutation, grits, and squints.
I hate to say it, but you may need to come to terms with the fear that this pedophilia plague has much larger and much more sinister grip on the world than anyone wants to know.
Check out this organization called Operation Underground Railroad.
Their efforts have hauled in literally thousands of traffickers and predators.
Maybe I'm naive, but that sounds like no small deal.
The way I see it, the media and government are in bed together.
These same organizations that consistently lie about crime, the climate, race, COVID, gender, et cetera, are all are also relentlessly trying to discredit theories about organized pedophilia.
Trump was handed the election by Russia.
The 2020 election was secure.
All these claims of fraud are baseless conspiracy theories.
Jan 6 was a violent attempt to overthrow our democracy.
COVID is going to kill us all.
Stay inside and wear a mask.
Proud boys are violent, white supremacists, domestic terrorists.
All of this comes from the same mouths that say that there's no grooming agenda.
There's no coordinated movement in Hollywood or the government.
And anyone who thinks so is a far-right QAnon lunatic.
Again, maybe I'm naive, but it seems weird that the pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break for this one.
Yeah, that's my favorite line of that letter is the last one.
This pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break.
What is Opera Ground?
Operation Underground Railroad.
Because we know that the trafficking is Mexican.
It's MS-13.
Look at that.
Well, this covers the whole world.
It seems to go along the equator.
Okay.
Creepy Joe drama in two parts.
One, look at the boy on the left's reaction to Joe and presumably his sister.
I think that's either Hunter Biden's son or maybe Bo Biden's son.
And so that would be Joe Biden sniffing his granddaughter.
You can pull it up anytime you want.
Gotcha.
Creepy Joe drama in two parts.
Hello?
Yep.
I'm just liberating all these pictures here.
It takes a second to open them up.
Can you just double-click on'em?
I can, and I did.
Well, why does it take so long to open them up?
That's the wrong one.
Why are you making me so angry right now?
Why did that take an hour?
When you click it, it takes a second to open.
And I wanted to get them all in a slideshow so I could just go left to right.
Yeah, no, don't do that next time.
You don't need to make a slideshow.
You just cost everyone 20 seconds.
Just click on them.
So yeah, look at the boy and the less reaction.
That's perfect.
Has a kid ever made that face to you?
The kids know.
And I think kids have programmed in their DNA some sort of predator sensor where they're like, something's not right.
It keeps them alive.
It keeps them from being raped.
He's just like, what the fuck is, what the fucking fucking.
And then I think that's the same kid later on.
I've seen this clip, by the way.
And he scoops down low and picks him up.
So those scenarios are not good.
The best case scenario right there is that he's saying, I love you.
I'm so proud of you in a really weird and inappropriate way, as his daughter spoke about.
Or the other option is he's like, I saw you fucking sneering.
You want to make trouble for yourself?
Don't make trouble, little man.
That's the worst case scenario.
Go back to it.
God damn it.
What a chore it is to get these pictures to work.
Yeah, so that's not how you show affection to a child.
That's how you fuck a chick, actually.
So neither end of the spectrum is good for that one.
How's it going, Gav and the Turd Burglar?
This is an advert for the national lottery in the UK currently running.
It's like a woke checklist of bullshit, including South Asian protagonist.
That's how they say Packy over there.
Without getting in trouble.
Bumbling white man who can't do anything right.
Several strong, powerful women leading the way.
Girls football, which basically doesn't exist past the age of about nine here.
Oh, why am I not speaking in a British accent?
A mixed rice dyke saves the day.
And they left the comments switched on, which might interest some viewers.
I honestly can't remember the last time the winner wasn't white, married, and middle class.
You can read my name out because I'm not a faggy fucking cunt.
Stephen Cooper.
Right?
Of course.
You're not going to believe us, Mo.
You've won.
Stop.
Stop.
When I was a kid, if you're watching English TV and you heard a Scottish accent, that was diversity.
Or a Welsh accent even.
Like, there was always English.
It was always middle-class English.
Even here, a working-class, like, kids' show host, roar.
Hello, kids.
Today we're going to talk about Leo Fucking Bay for a change.
That was crazy.
And that, so it's weird for me to watch this because I'm already multicultured by that Scottish woman running the till.
Shouldn't that milk be refrigerated?
Of course.
You're not going to believe us, Mo.
You've won.
What?
Yes!
Come on, Jay!
Oh, white male blows it.
Thanks a lot, Whitemail.
And he's not coming to help, by the way.
He's too stupid to help.
He'll mine the shop.
How weak are you holding something where a breeze from a door rips it out of your hand?
Why didn't she yell to the white guy, go help him?
He spots it, by the way.
Physics is not friendly with this commercial.
Okay, check this out.
Let's do this.
Stop.
Did you fucking...
This should have been a green screen.
Oh, white men.
And they're wrecking their own produce because they think it's faster than just going around it.
And I'm in a wheelchair for fuck's sake.
I mean, if I had legs, I never would have done that.
What a waste of legs is the message we're getting here.
And by the way, you're not going to help them chase the thing.
You're in a fucking wheelchair.
Are you blind too?
And it looks like she stole two watermelons from the market.
Yeah, someone checks her.
Don't be scared.
Don't be worried about being politically incorrect.
See if those are stolen.
I remembered her having much smaller tits when she entered the market.
By the way, that's the protagonist in the middle there, the South Asian dyke.
White male's last.
She's clearly meant to be lesbian, right?
Oh, the old timers are going to help, but I bet the white male old timers will be the worst.
Women's football.
Oh, it was a great save, though, you'll notice.
It wasn't bad.
Oh, we got it.
Black guys in there.
I think that's the joke.
It's a weird joke to stick in there, though.
Phew, saved the day.
Seriously?
Do you really need the ticket?
Isn't there proof he was there and he bought it?
Look, white male.
Last.
Then there's a stupid white male who couldn't even make it to the stairs.
Oh, the lesbian.
The trans.
Not sure where they got on the bus to get there.
You did it, trans, queer, ethnically ambiguous person.
Oh, that was great.
Okay, let's jump to the final video.
We're against porn, but sometimes we Can't resist, and we watch gay porn.
This should give you a boner if you're a man.
I think it should make women horny too.
And as far as trans men, well, you better get ready to be into this kind of stuff after you take testosterone.
So he does P US, so three squares.
Look at that B. And he can stand on it too because it instantly dries.
Right?
Now he's pouring the paint in as he does it.
The scalding hot paint.
It's probably like rubber or some shit.
Look at that fucking S. Anyone who's done any kind of lettering knows what a bitch an S is.
Look at that masterpiece of an S. Perfect T. Now the O's are really difficult.
Not for me.
Boop.
Boop.
Look at that.
It's literally perfect.
And he's pouring the paint in as he does it.
Am I the only guy with a boner right now?
That's a good t-shirt idea.
Am I the only guy with a boner right now?
It was funny when we were doing the show.
I was like, thank God I didn't do Coke or do any shots.
And I look in the front row and there's a guy wearing a shirt that says, please don't let me do shots or Coke.
Man after my own heart.
All right, folks, we got a very exciting show.
Tomorrow, we are supposed to have Alex Stein Primetime 99.
Fingers cross-assed.
We'll see what happens.
Until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, won't never stop fighting.
I'm a big fan booster.
I'm the hi-hat, bossing through the tweeter.
I'm the vibration in your body when you're standing by the speaker, on the speaker, on the rooster.
Let you know that you gon' fuck with me.
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