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June 14, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:02:00

GOML S4 Ep129 - AMATEUR HOUR AT THE APOLLO

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	Get you motherfucking man at the time of shit.
	I'm from New York.
	Get you get up my woman with Devin McCime.
	That was gas.
	What's it called?
	Gas tag.
	Problem with that song is he's talking about the price of gas being too high because of Brandon.
	Let's go, Brandon.
	And by the time the song gets some legs, the price will be way higher than he says in the song.
	I think he says 87 way too high.
	I think it'll be 870 soon.
	Here in New York City, it's 7?
	87 is the type of gas.
	Regular 87?
	Yeah, I see.
	I only use premium.
	Oh?
	A mechanic told me you save money with premium.
	Really?
	Because you get more out of it.
	Huh.
	He said it's better for your car.
	I get the feeling he doesn't use it, though.
	But he drives whatever garbage cars at his shop.
	It'll be like a weird Subaru missing a fucking door.
	He doesn't pump what he preaches?
	Well, it's sort of like when you see Arnold Schwarzenegger fuck his ugly maid.
	Like he's someone somewhere is sick of her shit no matter how pretty she is.
	And he's just not into cars anymore.
	He appreciates their beauty, but they mean nothing to him.
	If you want to ruin a man, give him everything he wants.
	Like I bet Motley Crew, towards the end of their career, they're like, got any fat chicks?
	Yeah.
	Got any dudes?
	You got Tiffany Hadish in that Nicholas Cage movie, a bald, fat black woman who reeks?
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	Right?
	It never happened to me, but I could understand being sick of babes.
	Not saying I should have done it, but I understand.
	I could also see getting sick of just wanton sex every fucking night.
	Like Billy Idol and Steve Stevens, when they were recording Whiplash Smile, I think it's called, they were just walking around the studio with no pants on for days, smoking crack and fucking chicks.
	I get that if you're on crack or meth, I get that you want to have a three-day fuck fest.
	That's different.
	That's drugs making you horny and all that.
	But like, just normally, call me old-fashioned.
	I want to snug.
	Like if you're Phil Collins or Robert Plant, you're just sick of the cooch.
	Like, I want to talk to her.
	But you also don't want a fat or an ugly girl because your friends make fun of you.
	That's true.
	And that sucks.
	That's like being Ryan Ketsu Rivera, constantly being mocked and ridiculed.
	Untrue.
	We've got a fun show for you today.
	Jam-packed.
	Jam-packed.
	I found, I got a scoop.
	I found out that Drag Queen Story Hour chick did a really raunchy video.
	Oh, did I just give away the fucking end of the show?
	Okay, I got to get this off my chest at the beginning.
	I'm sorry.
	So this is way down, Ryan.
	Where is it even?
	Is it even in the fucking news?
	Is this right here?
	The Channel 7 news.
	Drag Queen speaks out at the far-right extremist Storm Children's Event in Bay Area.
	Okay, so you could show that, sure.
	So this sounds pretty bad.
	This drag queen, what's the matter with the drag queen?
	Yeah.
	And by the way, speaking seriously for a second here, if there's a drag queen event that's 21 plus, don't fucking go near it, dumbass.
	Drag queens have been around since cave days.
	You're not getting rid of drag queens.
	They're boring and gay and lame, and I think it's insulting to women the same way blackface is insulting to men.
	But it's a silly, sexual, gay tradition that the gays have.
	And you'd be a fool to object to that.
	What a dumb thing.
	You might as well get mad at like twerking.
	But very few people are mad at that.
	They're mad at the kids.
	So focus on the kids if you're protesting.
	And then obviously don't say faggot.
	You say faggot, you give the left what they're looking for.
	The whole point of this, these Drag Queen story hours, is to poke the bear.
	So they want you to lose your shit and say faggot.
	And they go, see, you're a homophobe.
	This is why Pete Buttigieg exists.
	They wanted Trump to call him a fag.
	And Trump saw that, and he slipped and got them with a left hook, which was Alfred E. Newman.
	He looks like Alfred E. Newman.
	He didn't go near anything gay, which was smart.
	But anyway, look at this poor guy that they're bugging for no reason.
	Renzo Library.
	Bay Area Drag Queen, Panda Dulce, was co-hosting a kid's reading event in celebration of Pride Month when suddenly the unthinkable happened.
	A group of men believed to be affiliated with the far right boys groups.
	How dare they jeer?
	That's unthinkable.
	They said, who brought the tranny?
	It's a groomer.
	It's a pedophile.
	Why do you bring your kids to this event?
	Dulce was then escorted by security away from the men, and law enforcement was called.
	The Alameda County Sheriff's Office says it's unthinkable, right?
	They called him a tranny.
	They called him a groomer.
	Well, how about the time when you said all the kids looking up to me can suck my dick?
	You see, this is the problem.
	I don't care about adult stuff.
	It's when you bring the adult stuff to the kids, and drag queens are adult.
	So check the email, Ryan.
	This is 4-3 that says more info on drag queen proud boy story.
	It'll be in the mailbag.
	I just put it on getter too, if that's faster.
	Yeah, show the getter link because now people have a link.
	So go to my getter, it's within my last few posts.
	And there's that guy.
	Keep going.
	I want to get these guys news.
	There we go.
	So click on that video.
	No, the video.
	Turn it up.
	What's it?
	Full screen.
	Oh, Natalie.
	What's a day in the life of Natalie Portman Light?
	Do you really want to know?
	Please, tell us.
	I don't sleep, motherfucker off that yak and that turban.
	Doing 120, getting hit walks worth.
	Damn, Natalie, you a crazy chick.
	You shut the f up and suck my.
	I fucking do mouths like gushes, motherfucker.
	Pull up on MBC and speck the snap chick.
	Shut the fuck.
	Don't take me when I'm crazy off that airplane.
	Put my foot down your throat till you're in my shoes.
	Leave you screaming.
	Pay for my drive cleaning.
	Man, it's my name that is screaming.
	I'm sorry, Natalie.
	Are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
	I never said I was a role model.
	But what about the kids that look up?
	Okay, what about the kids?
	It's unthinkable that you would jeer at someone who told kids they can suck your dick while in drag at a drag queen story hour.
	Look at that.
	Butts in assholes.
	Did you see that?
	Centipede.
	Wow.
	That lady.
	I'm surprised.
	All this from a Harvard graduate.
	Works to drag queen culture.
	Wait, keep going.
	What are you doing?
	This shows him shitting on someone's face.
	Now we're over to Cardi B who I don't want reading to kids.
	Now she's dressed like Natalie Portman.
	A lot of sexual references here.
	She'd like this drag queen would like a lot of gays to run a train on it.
	That's gonna destroy your ass.
	By the way, that reminds me of an interesting email I got from a doctor friend.
	Okay, we got the idea now, right?
	One interesting thing I realized, this is a doctor texting me, guys can jerk off their entire lives until their dick turns to a nub, and they're not, as far as I know, increasing their odds of penile cancer.
	It's not easy to get tears and cuts on the head, but when the anus is exposed to repetitive force and pressure over time, unresolved lesions and tears and fissures, that's how anal cancer forms.
	God is basically saying that's a no-no.
	Even smegma is God's way of saying, wash your penis, young man.
	That's gross.
	Penis and vagina, they can fuck like jackrabbits and there's no cancerous message from God unless the woman's a complete whore.
	Like I said that to a gay dude that got AIDS at a circuit party in Montreal.
	I'm like, if bugs, he fucked for three days on that.
	If bugs fucked for three days, their little bizarre Barbie penises would be, barbed penises would be toast.
	So the left's narrative is that you have a problem with gays and you don't want them to have a life.
	You don't want them to exist.
	Really?
	We had Paul Lynn on TV every night.
	We had Liberace tinkling away at the piano.
	We had Judas Priest singing to us.
	We had YMCA, the village people talking about fucking young men.
	And we danced and laughed and thought it was fine.
	It's when you brought it to kids.
	So I'm sort of saying two things here.
	Drag queens deserve mockery, but that's what they're going for.
	Secondly, and I don't object to that.
	Secondly, I don't like when you're bringing to kids, but let's just take a moment to look at how incredibly lame drag queen culture is.
	I guess let's start the LB.
	I'm just jumping into the beginning of the show without warning anyone.
	LGBTQ, hit me.
	Okay.
	Gays coming up.
	Here we go.
	It's happening.
	It's going to be gay, guys, so not safe for life.
	NSFL.
	Why are you gay?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	And then they eat their poop.
	And we have a very good relationship.
	I don't like the fucking.
	You don't want to see a close-up picture of my haters because you hate damage.
	You ugly.
	Homophobe alert.
	So this is gay.
	This is drag queen gay culture.
	Let's have a look at 2-3.
	It's so lazy.
	Like, other cultures take work.
	Rap is hard.
	It's hard to make beats.
	It's hard to make them original.
	And it's hard to write a poem that's three minutes long of fast talking, like that opening song.
	And then to memorize it and make sure you have the lyrics memorized when you go to a show.
	That's difficult.
	Drag?
	Just dressing up like all women do every morning and then lip-syncing a song?
	I mean, it's pathetic.
	Blackface is even harder.
	So here they are.
	Here's two guys.
	This is nothing to do with kids, by the way.
	Here's two drag queens just being themselves, totally relaxed, able to be who they are.
	And I'm not saying they're evil.
	I'm saying they're gay.
	Oh my gosh.
	So I think it's going to be like highlighted in this finale.
	Uh-huh.
	But I've been doing Vegas for like the past two years.
	Love?
	Love.
	Yeah.
	I'm obsessed with Derrick Berry.
	Okay, you said that because of your obsession to Derrick Berry, I dove deeper into Derrick Berry and I'm on the obsessed train.
	She is like, she has taught me so much, like forgiveness.
	She's taught me that I could be wrong.
	What have you been up to?
	What's going on?
	Why are they appropriating 1980s Valley Girls.
	I don't know who they're supposed to be.
	So, this is who they were talking about: Derek Berry.
	2-4.
	We love Derek Berry.
	I guess I'm showing this to say they're not evil.
	They're like slutty chicks.
	Like, I like that there's sluts who walk around, like, Motley Crew groupies.
	That's a good analogy.
	They're like Motley Crew groupies.
	They're dumb sluts.
	And sure, the world needs dumb sluts.
	Les Fit de Roi, King Louis XIV, he dumped all the dirty sluts out of France and sent them to Quebec, which is why the girls in Montreal are so hot and slutty.
	They're genetically hot and slutty.
	Fine, exist.
	I don't hate you.
	I don't want to abolish you.
	I just don't want you near kids.
	People don't know what Stonewall is.
	You know what I mean?
	That's Derek David.
	Won't you tell everybody what that is?
	That was fighting for gay rights, and people were killed.
	They were killed at Stonewall.
	Nobody was killed.
	Nobody was killed at Stonewall.
	Like when people don't know what Stonewall is.
	You know what I mean?
	Or here's another one.
	Here's a woman named Sharon Needles.
	You see, they've always got a perverted name that's fun for adults and not fun for kids.
	This is a woman who wants to be Amanda Lapore.
	Now, Amanda Lapore, I've known her.
	I don't know her.
	I've met her a couple times.
	And she was into this like cutting your dick off a long ass time ago.
	That's her.
	Him, whatever.
	But I think I'm fantastic.
	I show it all.
	I'm always on.
	That's Sharon Needles.
	My stun's on the cover of a magazine?
	My stun's on the cover of a magazine.
	Yeah, but we didn't tell you which magazine.
	You might want to sit down.
	Magboy.
	No, this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
	So then you go, so it starts out, they're just silly, right?
	And then you go, wait a minute, Amanda Lapore maimed herself.
	That's a kind of fucked up.
	And then I got this cool thread of this guy who cut his dick off.
	And then you go, wait a minute.
	I'm a little bit concerned about this.
	Yeah, 3-5.
	And you go, well, now if we have post-op sex change people like Amanda Lapore, who I don't care about, she goes out to clubs every night and gets fucked in the bathroom up the ass.
	Enjoy, homo.
	But that's now, that's worse than the previous guy, Becky whatever.
	Derek Becky.
	Derek Berry.
	So we're getting on a slippery slope now.
	And now we have this guy, Jayden.
	He's 22-year-old.
	D-transmal, which means he cut his dick off.
	Oh, no, no, that's a different person.
	Shit.
	Okay, so we'll find the one I'm looking for, but let's read that now.
	Don't reverse.
	What's 3-2?
	Check it out.
	Yes, that's it.
	I want to tell everyone what they took from us, what irreversible really means, what reality looks like for us.
	No one told me any of what I'm going to tell you now.
	Now, this is very rare on the show.
	We have an NSFW, but it's just words.
	Okay.
	So try this on for size.
	This is a guy who cut his dick off.
	Okay?
	Gotcha.
	Go.
	I have no sensation in my crotch region at all.
	You could stab me with a knife.
	I wouldn't know.
	The entire area is numb, like it's shell-shocked and unable to comprehend what happened, even four years on.
	Yeah, I understand that.
	I understand God doing that.
	Like, say you had some horrific, a woolly mammoth stepped on your cave hand and you had this horrific infection.
	I could see the brutal pain of cutting your hand off, being unable to bear.
	So I can see there being a design in nature where your nerves just sort of give up just so you can live and sleep at night.
	So shell-shocked is a good analogy because that's exactly what happened.
	Her crotch, his crotch, is in a state of shock.
	No one told me that the base area of your penis is left.
	It can't be removed.
	Meaning you're left with a literal stump inside that twitches.
	So they turn the base of your cock inside out.
	When you take testosterone and your libido returns, you wake up with morning wood without the tree.
	So his little donut down there gets hard.
	And that's something that will never come back.
	I'm one of the reasons why I got surgery.
	My sex drive died about six months on hormone replacement therapy.
	At the time, I was glad to be rid of it.
	But now 10 years later, I'm realizing what I'm missing, missing out on it, and that I won't get back.
	Because even if I had a sex drive, my neovagina, donut hole, is so narrow and small, I won't even be able to have sex if I wanted to.
	And when I do use a small dilator, I have random pockets of sensation that only seem to pick up pain rather than pleasure.
	Any pleasure I do get comes from the prostate that was moved forward and wrapped in glands from the penis, meaning anal sex isn't possible and can risk further damage.
	What'd you think was going to happen?
	Then there's the dreams.
	I dream often that I have both sets of genitals.
	In the dream, I'm distressed.
	I have both.
	Why?
	Both, I think.
	I tell myself to wake up because I know it's just a dream and I awaken into a living nightmare.
	You think you got problems?
	In these moments of amnesia, as I would wake, I would reach down to my crotch area expecting something that was there for three decades.
	It's not.
	My heart skips a beat every single damn time.
	Then there's the act of going to the toilet.
	It takes me about 10 minutes to empty my bladder.
	It's extremely slow, painful, and because it dribbles, no matter how much I relax, it will then just go all over that entire area, leaving me soaking.
	I saw a video, I didn't put it in the notes, of some post-op penis pissing.
	Peter Piper posted it.
	And it was coming out of three holes.
	It was dribbling out the front Hole, and then it was coming out of two other holes.
	I don't want this kind of behavior near children or anyone.
	So, after cleaning myself up, I'll find out moments later that my underwear is wet.
	No matter how much I wiped, it slowly drips out for the best part of an hour.
	I never knew at 35, I ran the risk of smelling like piss.
	Now I get to the point where I'm detransitioned and the realization that this is permanent is catching up with me.
	No wonder they commit suicide at such a high rate.
	During transition, I was obsessive and deeply unwell.
	I can't believe they're allowed to do this to me.
	I wasn't even asked if I wanted to freeze sperm or want kids.
	Dude, you got to take some culpability for this.
	You had to have known chopping your dick off was going to have ramifications.
	Keep going.
	Fuck, I want to let this happen.
	This reminds me, too, of something I was going to start the show with.
	We all know this is insane, right?
	1-4.
	This woman got cheated on by her boyfriend.
	She's British.
	And she went, oh, no, I'm not having that.
	I wrote his name.
	I wrote Derek on my arm.
	Fuck it.
	Cuts it off with a knife.
	Oh, she also cut her pinky off.
	For fun.
	And now I call it Wiggles.
	So that's a separate topic, her little tiny pinky that she probably puts up men's butts.
	It's called Wiggles.
	And she keeps the rest of her pinky in a little vial that's at her tattoo shop where she practices body modification.
	Happy fifth birthday, Wiggles.
	So that's not the story.
	This is the story.
	Now you go, all right, you're deeply, deeply mentally ill.
	And I can't believe that polite society encourages this.
	This is how they make a dick.
	They cut off a giant piece of your arm.
	So our brains can handle this and go, that's fucked in the head.
	But the sex change shit I'm showing you is way worse.
	You recycle it and put it on your groin than good.
	Just skin off bad.
	Okay, so we've established that drag queens are not dangerous in and of themselves.
	We are now leaking into, but post-op trannies are practicing a sick and depraved and incredibly dangerous practice.
	Now, let's drift into, I don't want those things in your life.
	2-6.
	So here's a fun parade with plenty of kids.
	Young children watch as men in sex, fetish gear, and animal costumes whip one another during the Pride March.
	Now that's a weird kink, violence and pain involved in sex.
	Pretty advanced in the old sex book.
	Not my cup of tea, but why are fucking kids there?
	And look at the mom photographing the kid.
	So she can post it on Facebook and show how tolerant she is.
	We got more parades, 2-7.
	A drag queen standing on an eggplant emoji with dancers and bulging genitals say we have genitals and lube to little children in the crowd.
	Doesn't that sound great?
	Although kids who look up to me can suck my dick, apparently.
	Or let's go to 2.8 for more parades.
	You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension.
	By the way, Chaya over at Libs of TikTok has had to move because she had a death threat with a pipe bomb.
	And the takeaway from the left is, Libs of TikTok is going to get people killed.
	And that's also what they tried to do with that Panda story at the beginning.
	Proud Boys were there to kill him.
	No.
	They were there to prevent the raging homosexual decadence leaking into the world of kids.
	We don't care what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom.
	This parade is pretty gross.
	There's little kids there.
	But we don't want kids at that parade.
	Here's one in upstate New York.
	You ever be to Batavia?
	Beat a Batavia?
	Yeah.
	Batavia, New York.
	290.
	No, I've never been.
	Well, here's what it's like.
	I'm sure it's lovely.
	Oh, verify it's me.
	Okay.
	I'm verified.
	By the way, Lynn's TikTok got recognized by Elon Musk.
	That could help.
	This is Batavia for you.
	Got a strip show for kids going on here.
	All those poor little kids.
	She's disgusting.
	That's a real woman.
	That's a firearm, please.
	Isn't it?
	Yeah, I think so.
	I think so.
	So now it's not even about pride.
	It's just like porn.
	Imagine not being self-conscious and being like, well, let me just not put my ass in their direction.
	That's insane.
	Like, I want to come out and dance in a bikini.
	Okay, why?
	I don't know.
	I feel sexy.
	I want to show off.
	And I'm not your standard beauty.
	All right, I guess we'll do it at the bar at like 1 a.m. or something.
	No, no, no, with the kids in the day outside.
	And then what person doesn't go, no.
	Like, are we aware that the word no exists?
	I could be the gayest man alive.
	I was just talking to a gay conservative this morning, and he's disgusted with all this, and he goes, it's giving me a bad name.
	True.
	He goes, I have six kids.
	Don't start making gay and kid bad, or I'm fucked.
	But they're taking the very worst of gay lifestyle.
	Like, if it was punks, this would be junkie story hour, where Sid Vicious or someone with a syringe in their arm is holding a book going, yeah, I don't fucking know.
	Well, that's a good idea, junkie story hour.
	Right.
	Why not?
	He's sleeping.
	He talks so slow.
	He's like a fuzzy bear.
	Ew, he just puked.
	Okay, so here's, we started out normal gay decadence, and then it got dangerous, and now it's drifting into kids.
	It's like there's a leak.
	It's like there's a leak at the brewery, and it's leaking into the kindergarten.
	we don't mind that there's a brewery, we drink booze.
	Well, I don't fuck dry queens, but you know what I mean.
	We're not saying booze should be abolished, but we're talking about the leak.
	And look at Christine Aguilera leak.
	She's dancing out on stage.
	She was a child performer, just like all of these fucking Miley Cyrus and all, and what's her name?
	With the thigh-high boots?
	Britney Spears?
	No, dumbass.
	The Thank You Next chick that Pete Best was with.
	How do you not know this?
	Tanmom can't say your name.
	The one that Pete...
	What's his name?
	Pete Davidson was with.
	Oh, Pete did.
	You said Pete Best.
	Oh, fucking Ariana Grande.
	Ariana Grande.
	Tanmom pronounces it Arianana Gande.
	But can you pull up 3-0, please?
	Okay, that's another picture of her looking really bad.
	Father Time was not nice to her.
	Oh.
	But go to 3-1, I meant.
	Gotcha.
	We really dove right into the show because I want to show that Panda Dolce thing.
	I haven't seen her in a while, Christine Arguer.
	I'm glad she's doing good.
	She's doing great.
	What do you see her cock?
	Oh, I didn't know.
	It's almost as big as mine.
	Interesting.
	Well, that's her, huh?
	Oh, wow.
	I think it's got diamonds on it.
	That doesn't look very comfortable.
	Why is everything so gay?
	It's like we're living in Sodom and Gomorrah.
	Are they saying 66666?
	Oh, no.
	What's the text up there say?
	She just said, I'm horny.
	Over the weekend, she performed a song XXX with transsexual singer Kim Petrus.
	Kind of sounds like 666 to me.
	So...
	That's fucked.
	You know, you start creating a mess here.
	And it's not surprising that people are reacting because society isn't doing anything about this.
	They're embracing it.
	That's the real concern here.
	Now, you end up with things like, Proud Boys, I think we're very civil at that thing in California.
	We want to talk to them.
	If any of you guys were there, please contact me.
	I want to, not on this show, but I want to get you on other shows.
	But then you have guys like Patriot Front.
	Now, I don't believe that it's 100% feds.
	I don't believe it's 100% citizens.
	It's somewhere in the gray area where some are feds.
	They're already out on bail, which is suspicious.
	But they're all getting doxxed, which is weird if they're feds.
	So I don't know what percentage of these are real white nationalists and what percentage are feds and what percentage were encouraged by the feds to become white nationalists.
	I don't know.
	There's some dumb theories around, like, oh, one of the bullhorns still said FBI on it.
	Do you honestly think the FBI would be stupid enough to leave a bullhorn behind with FBI written on it?
	It says abolish the FBI, which is a big Patriot Front thing.
	I'm inclined to think they're pretty real.
	Let's go with 26% Fed, 74% actual guys.
	But my point is, what do you think is going to happen when you keep promoting this dangerous behavior and shoving it down kids' throats?
	Remember the Dallas one where the kid was like looking at his Rubik's Cube and the bartender goes, bartender, goes, are you gay?
	And he goes, nah.
	And she goes, ah, he's gay.
	He's gay.
	He's gay.
	I mean, there's obviously going to be a backlash.
	Look at this.
	This woman talking about coming out in front of her kids.
	This limbs of TikTok.
	This apparently is going to get people killed.
	I've been wanting to do this for the past two years.
	She wears a skin-colored mask.
	That must look really disturbing.
	Like she has no mouth.
	Like she's in a tool music video.
	Just judgment, mostly from their parents.
	Pink Freud.
	But I had these kids in fourth grade, and now I have them in sixth, and I'm sending them to middle school.
	And I love these kids so much, and I trust them, and they make me feel safe.
	And I know they love me, and it just felt right, and I did it, and it was so beautiful.
	They had so many questions, which I'm straight.
	They wanted to learn and they wanted to learn.
	I have sex.
	One of the questions.
	What about a straight teacher telling the kids that I am normal, I have sex, but sometimes with my spouse, if she's drunk, we have butt sex.
	Any questions?
	So I'm a titman.
	My brother is an ass man.
	Okay, so why is that?
	When we drink whiskey, we argue about this, and he calls me a fag for liking butts.
	And I call him a baby for liking milkers.
	Don't butts smell bad, though?
	Yes, that's part of the appeal.
	It's called a poor man's Viagra.
	You smell the butt.
	I know.
	I felt the same way when I was your age because I was just a kid.
	Kids shouldn't know about this.
	Sometimes you'll put a finger in a woman's butt.
	Any questions?
	Any question?
	Do you want to know, 10-year-old, do you have any questions?
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Yeah, literally, what question could not be sexual and inappropriate?
	Yeah.
	Is it legal for you to marry in the state of Virginia?
	Right.
	Do you still like to eat food in dwive cause?
	What food do you guys eat?
	Go to 3-4?
	Let's see.
	There's...
	Wait, is that a joke?
	It says postprints.
	We're tired of heterosexual sex being the main focus of sexual education.
	Wow, I think that's serious.
	But go to 3-4.
	Because I have a question.
	What food do you eat if you're gay?
	That's a great question.
	Right?
	Is it lots of penis-shaped things?
	Oh, okay.
	What are you eating this pride?
	Well, if you're a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want.
	But if you're a bottom, you're expected to starve?
	Not this pride.
	Introducing the bottom-friendly menu from Postmates.
	We teamed up with Dr. Evan Goldstein from Bespoke Surgical.
	Oh.
	Bring you a menu of bottom-friendly foods backed by science.
	Insoluble fiber won't help you feel cute, so avoid things like whole grains, sweet bran, cauliflower, potatoes, legumes.
	Hold up.
	Wait a minute.
	Whoa, stop.
	Oh, I get it.
	Is this like what you need to make sure you have lots of diarrhea so your butthole's emptied out and you don't get shit on anyone's dick?
	Yes.
	Handy tip.
	Yeah.
	Thanks, Postmates.
	What is postmates?
	You can order food from them.
	Oh.
	Unfortunately, I can't because I'm deleting the app.
	I saw Louis J. Governor deleting it.
	This is going to sound weird, but I'm going to a three-day fuck fest at a gay circuit party.
	I am going to need my butt cleaned out, so I don't know what.
	Avoid grains.
	Oh, okay.
	Okay.
	How about I just eat rotten food so I have food poisoning and get exposed to diarrhea?
	Okay, great.
	So please send over anything you have in the garbage.
	Okay, thank you.
	Bye-bye.
	Into those beans.
	The problem with these foods is they don't dissolve in water, which could cause a traffic jam in your digestive system, making a mess of your evening.
	Speaking of messy, it's a good idea to avoid dairy.
	I cannot handle matose right now.
	Look at them.
	Ew.
	If you're going to eat something insoluble, give your body about 24 hours to process all of it.
	Soluble fibers and protein are the key to having some good, clean, fun.
	These all digest easily and.
	Oh my God.
	This is much worse than I thought.
	I thought it was just going to be like black gays like chocolate and white gays like white chocolate or something silly like that.
	Punks like multicolored fucking fruits.
	No, it's how to clean out your ass.
	This is one of the weirdest things that our culture has ever created.
	What foods go good with the prep medication?
	Wait, go back a little tiny bit to the black woman?
	This is insane.
	This was clearly a gay idea.
	Maybe gays are nuts.
	Are we having mentally ill people run our culture?
	Wait, I want to see.
	Make sure you pause it on this black doctor.
	That's one of the craziest things.
	A donation.
	Wait.
	A donation was made.
	I want to read that donation before that.
	No, a donation was made to the Okra Project, a black woman-led collective that addresses food insecurity, mental health, and financial barriers faced by the trans community.
	Now, you know, it's owned.
	What the fuck?
	Postmates is owned by Uber.
	Uber stock, like everything is kind of going down, but this was posted June 9th.
	So June 10th, and then Gaduk, and then Gagluke.
	I'm not saying that.
	I mean, everything is down right now, but...
	Actually, no, it wasn't down.
	Some of the craziest.
	And by the way, food deserts, you know what that's about?
	You go to the hood and it's just like Popeyes.
	There's no Whole Foods.
	Yeah, because the locals choose that.
	Harlem is nothing but Popeyes.
	All the jerk chicken joints, all the Jamaican restaurants, they're all gone now.
	It's all chains in Harlem because that's all people buy.
	And when they try to open a Whole Foods in, say, East New York, the local black people freak the fuck out and say, fuck you.
	We don't want this neighborhood gentrified.
	Okay, that should bring us nicely to racism.
	Let's have a racism segment.
	I'm a black female.
	What other different, what else could I have done to piss you off?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	Maybe let's start with 6'2.
	They got the kids who beat that white kid to death.
	So it turns out it wasn't a water, a super soaker.
	It was that new thing all the kids are doing.
	Actually, the trend may have already died.
	My son had one.
	You get these little pellets and you soak them in water overnight and then you put them in the gun and they shoot this little boop.
	It hurts.
	It's not like BB gun pain.
	More like 100 little pinches.
	It leaves a red mark.
	So they were out.
	These guys, these jocks were out there just hitting random people on the street.
	We've all done it.
	We did it with the, we used to throw those, you know those fireworks that go, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, cat, those little strips of them.
	We used to throw them at people from the car.
	It's rude.
	It's unacceptable.
	It's not a capital offense.
	And these three black kids beat the living shit out of a white kid at LeBron's school.
	I think this story did get some legs, but mostly because it's LeBron James' school.
	Ethan Lemming, 17, was beaten to death.
	And they caught them scroll down.
	Now, the media hates reporting on this kind of stuff because they're scared of creating racism, creating animosity.
	And I'm guilty of it too.
	I have a montage coming up of black people behaving badly, and I've been putting it off because when you put this all together, I don't like the message.
	The message can potentially be black people are out of control, and we have this serious problem with them, and what the fuck are we going to do?
	And they don't have any discipline in their community, and there's this massive call to violence.
	It's true.
	That is a major problem.
	Black crime and black violence is a major cultural problem in this country.
	And we have, it's being completely ignored because the media are pussies.
	We all have this instinct within us.
	We don't like showcasing bad black behavior.
	It makes us feel bad and we're worried about generating racism.
	Okay, you got to feel bad.
	Just because the truth has some bad side effects doesn't mean you avoid the truth.
	So a lot of people, a lot of baby monsters think that the media won't go near something if the races are reversed because they have this massive agenda where they want to make whites evil and blacks awesome.
	It's not a massive agenda.
	It's cowardice.
	I mean, they do it with cripples too.
	They're like, she's hot.
	Look at this, a Down syndrome girl with Victoria's Secret.
	Anyone who's not winning, they want to flip the script because they're weak.
	And they're cowardly, and that's what weak cowards do.
	They want to prop up David and knock down Goliath.
	But the problem is that what you end up doing is glorifying this violence.
	And when it goes unchecked, it has bad ramifications.
	And black culture is in a major crisis right now that has to be addressed.
	Like, look, it's on TV now.
	There's a show called South Central Baddies, which is like badass chicks.
	And their whole lives are just twerking and fighting.
	That's it.
	A little bit of eating and shitting, but not much.
	Most of them look like absolute monsters.
	So the trans thing is even blending into the racism segment.
	Every segment's just going to be one glom.
	Like, it's a TV show.
	It's literally being glorified.
	A compilation is from the first episode.
	This isn't a compilation.
	This is real time.
	This isn't real time.
	Yes, bitch.
	Don't rob me, bitch!
	Okay, so let's all get wildly uncomfortable and examine a montage of black people behaving badly.
	You in?
	Let's do it.
	Come on, everybody.
	Hey, where's me?
	What?
	Oh, yeah, where is you?
	Where is me?
	Is you here?
	I'm here.
	Hold on, I'm trying to get you back.
	There we go.
	That's sort of me.
	It's you, but you ain't got the best.
	I just gave away that the green screen uses a giant green screen.
	I'm sorry.
	Okay, let's dive right.
	Let's get into it.
	As they say over at Barstool Sports, this is a fun one to start with.
	So this woman...
	What's the name of the segment?
	Black's Behaving Badly?
	Oh, you've already made this before?
	Yeah.
	And you forgot?
	We had an old segment.
	You forgot, so then you made a new one.
	Interesting.
	Oh, this is the background.
	That was just the bumper.
	I see.
	So this woman is so comfortable losing her shit that it's part of her vernacular.
	It's almost like verse, chorus, verse, chorus, me giving you shit and me just being sweet.
	This first clip shows you how deeply ingrained into black culture.
	A segment of black culture, by the way.
	This obviously doesn't apply to every black.
	So I'm talking about the ghetto, you know, the, let's say, 10% of the population.
	About six.
	I don't give a fuck about none of that.
	I'm spending money.
	You're going to give me what I asked for.
	Matt.
	That's right.
	I'm special to you.
	I'm special to you.
	Italian baby.
	Nice.
	American cheese.
	Nice.
	Yes, ma'am.
	Nice.
	Now you're an ignorant bitch.
	Your mama bitch.
	You faggot ass fag.
	Now you can come outside and we can get it.
	Cause I'm a real nigga.
	Bitch ass nigga.
	That's what you are.
	Come on outside, sis, I'm an ignorant bitch.
	Come on outside, sis, I'm an ignorant bitch.
	Mean.
	Don't like your mama for having your ass.
	She should have swallowed your punk ass.
	She should have swallowed your punk ass.
	Oh, she's pro-life.
	More than most, she thinks sperm is you.
	Nice.
	She could take some of the later salt.
	Tomato, salt, and pepper.
	Yes, ma'am.
	I wanted them all in the corner.
	And on my other sandwiches, because I was having four.
	Fuck you!
	These my grandkids, bitch!
	You need to stop talking to me while I'm talking to her while you being an unprofessional bitch-ass nigga.
	Cause I don't give no fuck about your job at Subway.
	And I'm gonna show you that tomorrow.
	I'm gonna show you that tomorrow.
	Still mean.
	I don't give a fuck about your subway job.
	I'm gonna show you.
	I'm gonna show you.
	I'm gonna show you.
	You gonna show him?
	Mayonnaise and mustard.
	Salt and pimple.
	Back to nice.
	Yes, ma'am.
	Salt and pimple.
	Yes, ma'am.
	Yes, you can wrap that one up.
	Thank you.
	And she's recording this.
	But when y'all close, I see your punk ass when you get off.
	I see your bitch ass when you get off.
	I will.
	I'm going to see how the motherfucker's same attitude.
	You had the same attitude and stop doing what you're doing and bring your punk ass outside.
	You just put on everything else.
	That's too much lettuce.
	Thank you.
	You got another something?
	Yes, ma'am.
	I had two horsepows.
	Yes, ma'am.
	Yes, ma'am.
	I should have made a little card that has mean nice.
	Mean nice.
	Wrap it up.
	Wrap it up, bitch, or wrap it up, man.
	What are we going to get?
	Fucking nothing ass nigga.
	Oh, nothing ass nigga.
	That's bad.
	Okay.
	And here we have another African-American woman who wants to save two bucks.
	And it doesn't turn out well for her because part of being lazy is also being gluttonous.
	And she's made herself so fat she can't cheat.
	This one does fine.
	It's this one I was talking about.
	She's what, 300 pounds?
	Oh, she stopped.
	Like, these are people who are not part of society.
	They just see...
	They almost act like ghosts, like they're not really here.
	A ghost doesn't handle charges.
	Yeah, you gotta help her out.
	She stuck.
	She tried to go through, but it didn't work.
	You gotta leave.
	Leave her at Snickers bar and just go home.
	Yeah, pull up feet.
	Ooh, that'd be a good time to rape her.
	Imagine I just ran in and pulled down her pants to start going.
	Oh, she made it out.
	Uh-oh, she compressed charges.
	Can I unrape you?
	Here we have just grabbing a random kid at Walmart just because I'm a ghost.
	Maybe I should have called this the ghost segment.
	Blacks in the afterlife.
	Because I don't like white people.
	The media told me that they ruined my life, and they're the reason I'm poor and they're rich.
	So I'm going to throw them around.
	Uh-oh.
	Suspended account.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	It was a kid with it.
	He was about 12 or 13.
	Maybe you can find it.
	And he's at Walmart, and they're just looking at stuff.
	Him and his girlfriend.
	And this black dude, who's 6'2 ⁇ , just comes up behind him, grabs him, and just fucking whips him down.
	And he shatters his head on the other side of the aisle.
	And then the guy just walks off.
	I think I just described it well enough.
	I remember that one, yeah.
	Let's jump over to 50.
	This is a mob of people attacking an old man and his daughter.
	Now, you could tell me they said the N-word.
	I don't believe you, but that doesn't make this right.
	You don't get to kill a kid because he shot you with some fucking gel pellets with an airsoft gun or whatever those guns are called.
	Splatter guns.
	Is that gone too?
	Yeah.
	Suspended account.
	5-0 is a suspended account?
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	So if you showcase any of this stuff, you're encouraging racism, I guess.
	So when I said, let's get uncomfortable, this is what Twitter did.
	Now, Twitter didn't take it down because it was racist.
	They took it down because they don't like the message it sends.
	They don't like the true message it sends, which is we have a very serious problem with violence in the black community.
	Okay, let's see if 5-1 is still up.
	Oh, this one might all be the same account.
	Is that dead too?
	Don't worry, we got plenty.
	That it is.
	Yep.
	Okay, try 5-2.
	So you get your account suspended if you show blacks behaving badly.
	That's the moral here.
	Because Twitter wants to control the narrative.
	And I don't like that.
	You know why?
	Because when you hide the truth, we can't fix problems.
	Like this problem of a woman in a stupid fight in the hood, just chasing someone with a gun and shooting at them.
	There's 20 blacks murdered a day, and it's in situations like this.
	See, mainstream media wants to hide this, but reality TV and social media is showing us the America they don't want us to see.
	And I want to see this.
	I want to fix it.
	I think a great way to fix it is to A, stop glorifying it, and B, stop financially rewarding it with welfare.
	Let's jump over to 5.3.
	You can suspend all the accounts you want.
	These stories are still out there.
	I don't like this background you did, Ryan.
	No?
	That was good.
	I like the other one.
	I can make it that.
	Is 5.3 around?
	It is.
	This is at a food drive.
	Turn it up.
	There doesn't seem to be any method to the madness of these brawls, too.
	It's not like two people and then other people trying to break them up.
	There's like 17 fights at once.
	I notice one correlation with all these.
	Look, like, she might just start swinging on someone else right next to her.
	Here is a massive Chicago brawl where a teenager is shot dead.
	5-4.
	Out of these 20 blacks that are killed by blacks every day, how many of them are somewhat rational?
	Like, you hit my mom, you cheated on me, you insulted or hurt my daughter?
	I'm going to guess 10%.
	And 90% are just stupid shit that the person wouldn't even have remembered if he didn't have a gun.
	That means we need to get rid of guns.
	These are all illegal guns, Moron.
	Turn it up.
	This was early last night.
	It happened as huge crowds were gathering in the park.
	Mayor Lori Lightfoot put out a statement overnight, reading in part: This senseless loss of life is utterly unacceptable.
	Tonight, our mother is grief-stricken, mourning the loss of her child and searching for answers.
	The violence didn't stop there.
	Did you know Mary Lightfoot once said that she's got a bigger dick than any of these people and they can suck it?
	Look that up.
	That's very panda dulte of her.
	Yeah.
	No, you don't have to break it down.
	We know what happened.
	Well, it was based on recent legislation that two sides disagreed with regarding corporate income tax.
	Is what her name, The Loop?
	We go now to The Loop.
	Most people are especially because as she shifts, she's in the middle of Millennium Park.
	Police pushing them out of the loop.
	Lupe Fatasco.
	Just for them to come this way, where things just continued to get out of control.
	Like my eating.
	TBS2 news producers actually getting caught in the chaos coming into the newsroom just before 11 o'clock.
	Take a look at those cars trying to get through the crowds.
	You can see his car there, the Jeep, people throwing water bottles at one point, someone throwing a chair at his car.
	Some people even yanking at his door handles trying to get them open.
	The rowdy crowds just continued to move south on both Dearborn and State streets, taking over the streets and made their way through the loop.
	You can see Chicago police in the mix they're looking on as kids are fighting with each other under the L-train.
	At one point, police officers did start making arrests and attempting to break up the crowds and regain some control.
	Unfortunately, the night ending with two more people shot here in the loop.
	This time, State and Jackson police say two juveniles were firing shots into a group of people just before midnight.
	Oh, this is Chicago.
	Both men between 18 and 20 years old are in the hospital this morning.
	Now, back out here live, we did see a few small groups of people just kind of lingering in this area about 5 o'clock this morning.
	Here's some more Chicago.
	And this one's pretty disturbing.
	This guy grabs someone's cell phone.
	I can't tell if it's a black or a white guy who's the victim.
	It's definitely a black guy who's the perp.
	And he goes, give me your password.
	So he can get in there and, I don't know, call his friends or look at Instagram.
	And the guy hesitates, so he shoots him.
	And then it's the way he shoots him, too.
	It's not like, ah!
	It's like, fucking...
	No regard for human life.
	It's because of racism.
	They're so beaten down that they don't feel life is worth living anymore.
	Oh, it's my fault.
	Okay.
	I thought it was his fault.
	So you may have to.
	I think that's the bad guy.
	He's hiding around a corner.
	And then his accomplice goes a little bit forward.
	So you hear 20 blacks killed a day and you're like, what does it look like?
	Can I see it?
	Well, we're watching it.
	It involves an accomplice, a car.
	It involves hiding.
	And he just pulls his gun out.
	Give me your phone.
	Here, take it away.
	What's your password?
	I don't want to give you my fucking password.
	What's your fucking password?
	I'm going to blow your head off.
	Look, man.
	And he goes for his gun, I guess.
	And so he punches and the guy with the gun wins.
	And then his friend shows up.
	Hey, how's this cell phone robbery coming?
	Not good.
	Well, just shoot the guy then.
	I will, I will.
	Hold on.
	I got to get my gun.
	There we go.
	Got him.
	Bitch.
	Two.
	You like that, you bitch?
	Let's see what's in your pockets.
	Wallet.
	Fuck you.
	Piece of garbage.
	Was he taking pictures?
	This clip inspired this whole segment, by the way.
	Because the absolute disregard for human life was shocking in that.
	And if you'd like me to ramp it up, this is where it starts to feel racist, but it's just the truth.
	You can ban my account all you want.
	These things are happening.
	5'6, just rolling up on some kids, shooting them.
	Fucking kids.
	I hate kids.
	Kids who look up to me can suck my dick, as Panda Dulce says.
	So, you might want to blow this up.
	These are the kids right there, just sitting on a street on a curbside.
	And then this red circle shows up and starts spinning really slowly.
	Because we have a 56k modem.
	Look, there they are.
	Fucking kids.
	You suck.
	I'm going to shoot some of that.
	Shoot some kids.
	You want to go kid hunting?
	It's funny, too, that the narrative is cops are driving around just hunting blocks for sport.
	It's disgusting.
	There's two cars involved.
	You know that?
	Oh, what do you mean?
	Up ahead here?
	Look to the top.
	Oh, shit, right above my head.
	Good thing they suck at shooting.
	Is that like a gang thing where they're getting the kids of a guy's gangs or something?
	That's how bad it is.
	It would have some humping for things like, maybe it's the kids of gangsters and they're getting revenge.
	That makes it better.
	Yeah.
	Here's a fun one of shooting up a gas station and they murdered a dude here.
	This one looks...
	Is this the one?
	Yeah, this looks like a planned hit.
	Oh my god, SMY.
	Is that the video at the top?
	Is this one of those stupid things the post does where the video isn't the story?
	That's the worst thing in America since burpees is showing a video in a story that has nothing to do with the story.
	When I'm president, that's banned.
	There we go.
	Yeah, there it is.
	Okay, we're going to go.
	Actually, no, we're not.
	We're going to get out and start shooting people.
	Poof.
	We need to ban AR-15s.
	Look at that.
	What a fucking life.
	What do you do for a living?
	Oh, I'm a gangster.
	I shoot kids.
	I fight at food drives.
	I do hits at gas stations.
	I'll tell you what, I feel like I'm getting murdered every time I get gas these days.
	How about this one of robbing a sunglasses store?
	Just like ghosts, this is what I'd do if I was a ghost.
	I'd just grab shit and put it in my ghost bag and go wear some sunglasses in the Sahara Desert.
	You're a ghost.
	You might as well just walk everywhere, right?
	Like even Saudi Arabia.
	Just walk on the bottom of the ocean floor.
	How do you travel?
	Can they all fly?
	Look at that.
	No pictures.
	That's thanks to the bail reform.
	You notice big government is involved in all of these, right?
	Illegal guns mean only bad guys have guns.
	Welfare means you give a financial incentive to a woman to dump her baby daddy.
	And no bail means just steal everything you want.
	Thanks, lefties.
	Thanks, big government.
	And also, I'm not absolving the actual black people for their behavior.
	That's bad, too, for perpetuating this culture.
	A lot of people to blame here.
	White males and racists, not so much.
	But of course, the DA, Merritt Garland, says white supremacy is domestic terrorism, is the number one threat to America.
	Nope.
	I don't believe you.
	This is 5'9.
	This woman just casually decides to beat up.
	I believe it's a woman.
	She has breasts.
	She's had enough of the staff of her daughter's.com damn.
	That's why I'm in.
	1745?
	That was you on there?
	Yeah.
	Why you so hype, though?
	Because I heard somebody call O and I thought you were sucking at me.
	So it was a joke either way, though.
	You so hype.
	Yeah, but I'm not going to have no idea.
	I ain't got no money.
	What my credit?
	I'm not about to lose my job over other people.
	Don't go.
	Fucking stop, bitch.
	You can lose it.
	Shut up, bitch.
	Yeah, shut the fucking door.
	You hop on.
	Hop on your head.
	Oh, wait.
	Shut it down.
	Come on, put on.
	This is all racist, by the way, for me to show.
	Let's show a better restaurant.
	This is 6-0.
	Oh, shit, that might be from the band account.
	Oh, no, it's here.
	Okay.
	No, no, no.
	This is a separate.
	This is the still the McDonald's one.
	This we have.
	I had to find it.
	Is this it?
	Because it was from the band account?
	Is this it, though?
	Well, that's just it.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	I mean, we've all seen hundreds of these.
	But when we put them together in a montage, we see that blacks have a serious cultural violence problem that is ingrained in the culture.
	And Americans are ignoring it, not because they really care, because they're weak.
	To ignore this is to be a fucking pussy.
	Have some balls.
	It's like a bartender said to me the other day in Grand Central, he goes, you know, New York City, and he really means America, has no future unless they can address black crime.
	I don't think America has a future if we can't address black violence and the total disregard for human life that we're having in this country.
	I'm not saying it's generic.
	I'm not saying that this particular group of people has a predilection for violence.
	I'm saying that whatever we're doing now, okaying this, ignoring it, banning people who show it, glorifying it in rap music and the culture, financially incentivizing it, is not working.
	Let's change things up here.
	Because blacks are the ones suffering the most from this.
	They're the ones that are dying to the tune of 20 a day.
	Let's end this with the way they react when one of their own, a postman, is in a car accident and gets fucked up really badly.
	Here in the Bronx, we call this running pockets.
	Okay, this one's also deleted.
	I'm looking for it.
	Oh, shoot.
	So it's a...
	Can you see that's so frustrating that this guy's account is banned when his crime was just showcasing reality?
	They did this with cops, too.
	They banned it because it was showing too much black violence.
	And then we discovered the producers were actually hiding black violence and uplifting white violence to try to balance it out.
	But it wasn't good enough.
	Anyway, the clip was, before the guy was banned for this, was a postman lying on the ground, glass everywhere.
	The door had shattered, and he was semi-conscious, going, oh, I probably got a concussion from the crash.
	And everyone was sort of staring at him.
	And then people were going by and going through his pockets and taking shit out of his pockets.
	Because that's what you do when you see someone dying on the street.
	You take their money, right?
	Okay, that's what I'm going to do when my parents die.
	I'll get their inheritance.
	This one's different.
	Is another postman being robbed after a car accident?
	Yeah, BLM mob beats a white man unconscious after making him crash truck.
	Oh, wait.
	Okay.
	I think we get the idea.
	We're getting example exhaustion here.
	And I think America itself is getting example exhaustion.
	That yellow Gatorade tastes kind of like pea.
	Hmm.
	Kind of tastes like a tranny's post-op penis.
	Oh my god.
	Someone sucked on one of those.
	Yeah.
	Someone's taken that burrito into their mouth.
	The guy with the burrito can't feel it.
	We don't know that for sure.
	And as that burrito was going into the other guy's mouth, the guy with the burrito was going, oh yeah.
	Suck it.
	Pretending it felt good.
	Here's some house cleaning here.
	I think I found the clip.
	With that, he would stop.
	And he didn't.
	He just kept on going and going.
	Well, that's the guy we had on Compound Censored.
	That's definitely how that guy with the airsoft gun got killed.
	They definitely stamped on his head.
	They knock you out.
	And that's not so bad, but it's the post-knockout stomping.
	She tells Fox 10 that Cook was a regular customer.
	She was working alone and saw Cook looking inside the store several times before the attack.
	She was afraid he would kill her.
	You know, I think it'd be a shorter.
	It's better for time if we do Black's Behaving, period.
	I think we might be able to wrap up the show in a fair amount of time.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Was this the one here?
	Mail carrier robbed?
	Nope.
	Okay.
	No, he's lying on the road.
	This would be a thing that they do.
	Wow, I can't believe we got through all these.
	There's like 50 stories here today.
	Oh, a few little tidbits I got to get to before we get to the mailbag.
	So during this hearing, Steve Bannon was caught laughing at Dinesh D'Souza.
	I did a huge deep dive on D'Souza's movie last night.
	So they're saying it only identifies you within 100 feet of a voting booth thingamadle.
	Dropbox.
	And Dinesh is like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	Your go to 2-1?
	Oh, here's a, that tweet I sent you?
	I couldn't mail that.
	I couldn't send that.
	Have you ever had that before?
	No, I don't think so.
	I couldn't like it.
	I couldn't talk to it.
	I couldn't do anything with it.
	Oh, you can't share.
	Are streets protected?
	No, they're not.
	It would have a little lock next to its name.
	That was weird.
	What the fuck?
	If geo tracking is as useless as Bill Barr says, how come it's being used to establish the precise location of Jan 6 protesters?
	Not merely whether they are inside or outside the building, but how many feet inside or outside the door?
	Can the fat man explain this without laughing like a toad?
	And then I heard the defense for that was, no, no, no, they track you to the Capitol, and then after that they use cameras and stuff.
	But like, when I do find my phone, it shows me where, almost where in the studio I am.
	Right?
	Basically.
	Well, here, let me do.
	Let me just do the find my location.
	Stop it.
	Stop.
	No, no, bad.
	Yes, I'm looking at.
	Yeah, is it precise?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, it seems to be in the parking lot behind the studio.
	Gotcha.
	So it's 20 feet off.
	And then here's this clip of the Nash Road.
	Well, I have a couple of things I'd like to say to Bill Barr.
	He thinks it's funny to call me, you know, dumb or whatever.
	Well, I think he's a toad.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Tough.
	He's got to drop that toad analogy.
	He can't.
	No, I want to see it.
	Yeah.
	Keep an eye out for critiques of 2,000 mules in the media.
	So I don't like to leave any of the substantive critiques unaddressed or unanswered.
	But I wasn't aware of this.
	This is the New Mexico Secretary of State, a woman named Maggie Toulouse Oliver.
	And she wouldn't be laughing at people's names.
	But Maggie Toulouse, old Maggie Toulouse.
	Is that a nickname or a middle name?
	It's French.
	It's Toulouse.
	From the French city of Toulouse.
	Oh.
	Has put up on her website a section that's called Voting and Elections.
	And some of it is a certain type of boilerplate about New Mexico.
	She talks about voter roles in New Mexico.
	She talks about the secrecy of ballots.
	Can someone change the election result?
	Are New Mexico's vote counting machines attached to the internet?
	Who can access voter data?
	Do we do audits?
	Does New Mexico use paper ballots?
	All of this is kind of a standard attempt to explain what's going on in New Mexico.
	I have no problem with any of it.
	Until the last one, which is called Rumor versus Reality.
	Are the claims made about the 2020 election, the movie 2000 Mules True?
	And now we want to get to, there's what follows is really about three pages of supposed refutation.
	And again, I think, let's go through it and see if there's really anything here.
	And the 2000 Mules movie aims to cast doubt on the integrity of the 2020 election, blah, blah, blah, by claiming there was a widespread conspiracy.
	Now, the movie does not use that word.
	I talk about the coordination of the left in making this happen, but let's leave that aside.
	The movie's claims are false and have been debunked by numerous sources.
	Let's see what these sources are.
	Because what you have here, and this is actually fairly standard for the left, they use recycled, they recycle the same information.
	It's kind of like when you look at leftists who are trying to, in the literature about critical race theory, they use recycled horror stories.
	One guy tells a story about, oh yeah, I was discriminated against.
	It's kind of dubious.
	They don't even go into the facts.
	Another guy picks it up.
	Oh, look, that was a very shocking case.
	What's this in the news at the beginning of the show?
	Unthinkable?
	The unthinkable happening.
	Jeering.
	She is referring to other fact checks that have themselves been discredited and debunked, but nevertheless, she's acting as if they're true.
	The 2020 election was the most secure in history, according to election officials.
	This is like going to the sheriff of a frontier town.
	He goes, Shinbon is the most secure place in the country, even though, by and large, everybody's talking about robberies.
	No, it's the most secure.
	I'm the sheriff.
	I should know.
	Wait, the sheriff in a frontier town is from Jakarta?
	What was that accent?
	Show something is secure.
	What are you doing, Posse?
	We need to clean up this town and get rid of all the toads.
	Some evidence.
	You need to do some historical comparison, which has never been done.
	So merely quoting election officials doesn't really inspire confidence.
	Of course, they think it's the most secure election.
	The movie uses flawed assumptions and faulty data.
	Well, let's look at what these flawed assumptions are.
	I wasn't even aware that we use assumptions per se.
	In fact, what the movie does is it tests hypotheses.
	It creates a hypothesis, the hypothesis that you have mules, they're going to these left-wing nonprofit centers, then they're going to multiple Dropboxes.
	Let's look and see if that's true.
	That's not called a faulty assumption.
	That's called testing a hypothesis.
	The Associated Press did a thorough fact check.
	Now, the Associated Press did one of the dumbest, most ridiculous fact checks: things like: Could the mules have been cab drivers?
	No.
	Could they have been election officials who were merely going to repeatedly leave to ballot boxes because they were emptying the boxes?
	Don't be stupid.
	Look at the video.
	They're stuffing ballots in the box, not taking ballots out of the box and putting them in duffel bags.
	So the Associated Press fact check has been thoroughly debunked.
	But here it is, resurrected.
	Anyway, this woman who evidently...
	You can look this up yourself.
	Show the link.
	This is Twitter.
	His Twitter, and if you look at the time, because it's a two-part thing.
	So June 13th, 6, 8.44 p.m.
	He posts a lot.
	I had to unfollow him on Getter because he was clogging up my feet.
	We make fun of Dinesh and his accent and toad, but he's one of us.
	I consider him a friend.
	He's awesome.
	Great guy.
	His movies are amazing game changers.
	I mean, it changed my mind.
	I was dubious of election fraud before seeing 2,000 mules, and now I'm on board.
	96% sure that the election was stolen.
	He's the real deal.
	And before that, I was like 45.
	No, 51% sure.
	Maybe 40?
	40, 40, 45.
	40, 45.
	Okay, I have a few little junk boxes I got to clean out of the junk drawer before we get to the mail because I don't want these to wait.
	But we shot this show out of sync because I was so excited about this Panda Dulce video.
	Now, just to be clear here, the video that he's lip-syncing is Natalie Portman being a badass ghetto thug rapper because she's known as a sweet girl.
	So when she says the kids who look up to me and can suck my dick, I don't like that joke.
	I don't like kids and sucking dick jokes in any context.
	But when it's a black and white video that's not raunchy, and it's her juxtaposing her nice girl image with a totally absurd caricature that she's not.
	In the case of Panda Dolce, she made the video way more intense.
	And when she says kids can suck my dick, she put pictures of kids behind her when Natalie Porton was just rapping about sniffing glue, like she's actually sniffing glue.
	So she took the parody, which was a parody of Natalie's nice person image, and she ramped it up to 10 and made it way more sexual.
	Then she added the Cardi B sexual thing.
	So I'm aware of the context, but even taking in the context, we have a fucking disgusting, deranged pervert bringing kids into sexuality and using a not great,
	but fairly reasonable SNL short.
	Still juicy.
	It's still huge.
	And it still absolves Proud Boys of their unthinkable jeering.
	They called me a tranny.
	They called me a groomer.
	Yeah, you sang about having kids suck your dick, and you showed a bunch of kids behind you, and you gestured for your dick to get sucked.
	Other things around with it.
	You could even say, kiss my grit, still not great.
	You could say, rocks you can kick.
	There's tons of things you could say.
	I'm not a rapster.
	I don't know, but you could have made it anything else besides suck my dick.
	Okay.
	But Ryan, you understand that the lyrics were written by SNL.
	I understand, but that's a weird thing.
	All right, then don't make that part kids.
	Make the other part kids.
	Yeah, but in the context of SNL, it was about how she's this popular with kids, and then it was funny to make her like an M ⁇ M tough kid, tough rapper.
	That was a juxtaposition.
	I can't believe I have to explain that to you after I explain it to everyone else.
	Well, pull it up.
	Yeah, pull it up.
	Pull up Natalie Portman SNL rap sketch.
	SNL short, rap.
	Real jambalaya here at the end of the show, but that's what happens when Gavin gets too excited about Proud Boys being vindicated.
	And I keep having people going, will you shut up about Proud Boys?
	No one cares.
	It was the top story in the Daily Mail yesterday all day.
	What's a day?
	You shut the f ⁇ up and shut my fucking dude mouth like gushes, motherfuckers.
	Pull up on NBC and spectacular Jeff Chuck off.
	What you want, Natalie?
	You drink and fight!
	What do you mean, Natalie?
	Just f all night!
	Don't take me when I'm crazy on that airplane through.
	Put my foot down your throat.
	You see, it's different with her.
	The juxtaposition is obvious.
	When a drag queen is saying, I want to fuck all night, they do fuck all night.
	And when a drag queen says, kids can suck my dick, it's possible.
	Natalie Portman doesn't have a dick.
	Yet again, so all she did is just lip sync and photo and video edit.
	They really are.
	Is there any drag queens with talent?
	Of course she thinks SNL is funny too.
	Also in the silly news, there's some cool AI.
	I sent you some separately.
	I really like this art.
	It's beautiful.
	I think my favorite artist is a robot.
	This is the bird which is the bald eagle and Barney the Dinosaur.
	Thanks to Nate Ober.
	Awesome.
	I love the way that looks.
	You're going to love the way you look.
	Cool?
	Yeah, that's sick.
	Like, I want that framed on my wall.
	Looks like he got access to Dolly 2 when all the other ones I've seen are Doll-E1.
	The first version.
	The bird would be...
	Look at another one.
	Got him right here.
	There's one's of me.
	I'm famous enough to appear in it.
	Oh, is this Trump and the Proud Boys?
	Yep.
	It kind of reminds me of Ralph Stedman.
	And what's his name?
	Frank Bacon?
	Yeah.
	Is that his name?
	The painter, American painter, Frank Bacon?
	Look him up.
	Francis Bacon?
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's like Francis Bacon meets Ralph Steadman.
	And those are two of my favorite artists.
	So nice work.
	Computers.
	There's me being gay.
	Leading a gay pride parade.
	Oh, my God.
	We should do that.
	Kevin McCain.
	Oh, I'm in the Mets.
	A no-hitter for the Mets.
	A no-hitter.
	Nice.
	Wait, what the fuck?
	Well, it looks like the Red Sox.
	No, it looks like the Mets.
	That?
	Alright, and then what's this body language here?
	Well, after they pitch, they often swing around.
	This one I did.
	Donald Trump playing guitar, just to ease in.
	Okay, that sucks.
	The worst one yet.
	That's nice.
	My Mets bet.
	Ah, yes.
	Did you fix that up?
	I did.
	The MB.
	We've got three more little news stories, folks, and then we can get to the mailbag.
	Don't panic.
	Don't panic.
	Stop panicking, guys.
	Come on.
	How do men get mistresses?
	I've been thinking about this recently.
	Mostly because my wife hasn't fucked me in a long time.
	I don't understand the concept of a mistress.
	Where do you meet them?
	You can't put yourself on a dating site if you're married.
	I guess in Sopranos, it made sense because he worked at a strip club.
	You're going to bump into them.
	I don't meet women in my day-to-day.
	Is it someone from work?
	Like you work at a big office and then there's Sally in accounting and then you go out for lunch with her at Arby's and then what do you do?
	You get a hotel?
	Well, isn't your wife like, where the fuck were you?
	I stayed at a hotel one night.
	What?
	Why?
	I had COVID.
	I guess business trips, I understand.
	But to go on a business trip and meet some woman at a hotel, like women aren't that horny.
	It's the odds of you having a drink at the hotel bar, which you're only going to have a chance to do from like 8 to 10, right?
	You're going to be sitting there like, wait, let me get this here.
	You'll just be like, Biden's on TV, and you're just like, what a joke, huh?
	First of all, she might like Biden, but how are you going to get in her pants?
	Like, I remember in my single days, to get a girl home was like seven hours of work.
	Buying drinks, going dancing, karaoke.
	Then eventually it's like, hey, you want to come up and smoke a joint?
	And then that used to suck too because you'd finally get her home at like New York City closes at four, so you get her home at five.
	You are so fucking tired that sex is about as interesting as eating a raisin.
	Like you just want to die.
	It's great the next morning, especially if she's cool.
	You can go get breakfast after.
	Anyway, 40, 22, 12,05.
	But I just, I honestly don't get the physics of having a mistress.
	Or even like my barber who said, why do you like to eat pizza every night?
	I fuck a different bitch.
	I go out for dinner.
	So I got to go up for dinner.
	So I call my wife.
	I go, I'm not coming home for dinner.
	Okay.
	And then I go up for dinner from like 6 to 8.
	So now I'm not eating with my kids because I'm eating with some slut.
	And then I go fuck her in a parking lot.
	So now I've just taken myself out of the dad equation from 6 to past the kids, the youngest kid's bedtime.
	Now, that's going to be ticking away in your head.
	Like, I just took away dad time so I could fuck some dumb slut I'm never going to speak to again.
	So you wouldn't be able to enjoy yourself because of the guilt.
	Like if I'm at a pub and my kids are at home like bored, I feel bad.
	And that doesn't really happen.
	I usually do my drinking like after work before the kids want me home or after they go to bed at Gavstaff.
	Right.
	So you're denying your kids dad time?
	What if the kids are away?
	Your wife took the kids to her mother's for a week.
	Okay, now I get it.
	Now there's time.
	You're not going to fuck her in your house.
	So what do you do?
	Fuck her here at the studio?
	What, so the mistress doesn't know that you have a family and to keep it on the house?
	That's another thing.
	Because now what if you leave too early?
	You're just saying like, go there, fuck, and then leave.
	What if she's like, what the fuck?
	I'm going to ruin your life, babe.
	What the fuck?
	You're not going to stick around.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you're fucking Calette Soprano.
	I let you fuck her come on my bushy.
	You fucking gay.
	But, but, okay, so you go to fuck her at her house?
	Well, you better be a few towns over, or people are going to see your car in the driveway.
	Similarly, if she comes to your house, you're going to have to buy her, like, cleaning supplies and an apron.
	You're the maid.
	Right, Molly maid on the side of your car.
	Right.
	Well, with the metaverse, we figured out a way that couples can have a non-monogamous relationship.
	What's a non-monogamous relationship?
	Well, if you look in the AI generator, the pictures that you just pulled up, that is the brain of a computer working.
	And how is it doing it?
	Well, it's gathering information from all the corners of the internet.
	And we can do that with mistresses and other mis When women cheat on a man, what is it called, a mister?
	Not a mistress.
	Think about it.
	Zuckerberg out.
	So you got to be three towns away, and your wife has to be away with the kids.
	Okay, I'm almost there.
	I almost get it.
	How the fuck did I meet this woman three towns away?
	You'd have to go on a dating site, which would be the end of your life if anyone saw you.
	Put on your VR goggles.
	You meet up with this person in the metaverse.
	Oh, here's another thing, Mark.
	So the woman knows you're married with kids, and then she's like fucking you every week, every day.
	Aren't you like, hey, isn't it weird that you're fucking, like, do you lose respect for her?
	Isn't she sabotaging a marriage?
	Well, that's a good point.
	Isn't that in the back of your mind?
	I mean, one of the things about a mistress is there should be a zero-level sum of respect.
	So entering that engagement, you already know that she's a piece of shit.
	She's meant to be tossed away like garbage.
	Like baby back ribs.
	I don't think she's a piece of shit.
	I think that the situation is it's just it's impossible to imagine everyone being relaxed and having a good time.
	And isn't that what a relationship's all about?
	You're hard at work and then you get to go out with a chick and have fun.
	So you're talking about like a long-term misdemeanor.
	Plus, she's going to remember the Crimes and Misdemeanors where what's her name calls up the wife and the husband picks up someone and goes, why the fuck are you calling here?
	What's her name?
	Arianna.
	Randy.
	The woman in Crimes and Misdemeanors.
	Angela.
	Oh, fuck.
	She's one of the greatest actresses of all time.
	And she's like, I want to talk to Miriam.
	So he has her killed.
	And feels nothing.
	Look up Crimes and Misdemeanors.
	It's such a good film.
	I want to talk to Miriam.
	In my neighborhood, there was a guy that was cheating on his wife.
	Angelica Houston?
	Angelica Houston, yes.
	And he was there at the bar, the local bar that all the parents go to, holding hands with his mistress.
	Are you trying to sabotage your marriage?
	Well, that's before the internet existed, right?
	Before cell phones.
	It's before, whatever you call it, mega existed.
	Before the metaverse existed.
	The metaverse.
	All right.
	Would you have to lie about your name?
	You'd be like, hi, I'm.
	That's another thing.
	You say you've got MacArthur.
	My name's Kevin Ludaker, and I work at CNN as an office manager.
	Okay.
	And then you've got to remember that lie.
	And are you relaxed now that you're a different...
	I just don't.
	By the way, you should have heard me skipping around when I was asked what I do.
	Our neighbors are really cool people, and they have a kid, too.
	And they're like best friends.
	I manage a hate group.
	I kind of wanted to be like...
	I'm in the hate industry.
	I kind of wanted to just be completely honest and be like, listen, I'm not going to continue a friendship with you if you don't.
	You're not okay with me being whatever the fuck I am.
	Yeah, that's my buddy, my cop buddy in L.A. The guy, his kid's coach was shitting on America and shitting on this country and saying, you know, it was stolen from the Indians and fuck Trump and fuck all these assholes with their guns and fuck our military.
	And he was not just a cop.
	He was in the military before that.
	And he was just like, we're done.
	Yeah.
	He dumped him.
	Yes.
	It's like, I almost died for this country many times and you're telling me it's disgusting?
	He wasn't talking about Drag Queen Story Hour 2.
	He's talking about like the past 250 years.
	Okay, I have a bunch of other dump stories, but I'll get to them another time.
	They're all silly.
	Let's do the mailbag.
	Len, in the future, if anyone out there is having an affair, email me.
	I'm genuinely curious about it.
	Do you know anyone who's having an affair?
	I've known a shitty, shittier version of myself that has, yeah, I went through a long-term relationship, and at one point, the vibe was, as long as I don't find out about it, it's okay, because I threatened to leave.
	Yeah, I'm not talking about that.
	It was a year.
	No, no, no.
	It was a year long.
	It's not long.
	Yeah, I know about that story.
	You're wrong.
	I'm not wrong.
	It was crazy.
	You had a stupid relationship with a woman who thought you was a lesbian.
	No, that is not the case.
	No, you're wrong.
	Oh, that's the other chick?
	You're wrong.
	There's so many.
	So many times, but the one was like a long-term mistress, and then she became jealous of the real relationship, and then it was like, well, I've ruined a lot of people's lives, and now I'm a better person.
	Yeah.
	No one cares about single people and people before they're married having affairs.
	If you're not married, it doesn't count.
	I'm talking about married men.
	The same thing still goes, I would say.
	You would have to have a girl that you know that you like and she likes you and she knows the complete deal.
	And what you do is you just complain enough that the chick's like, I want to save you and I'm going to help you.
	And this is a married man?
	Yeah, married guy does the same exact thing, but there's a ring involved and God will send you to hell.
	Gee, everything's so cloudy.
	Imagine you having an affair now.
	Yes.
	Right?
	Like, say I was going to kill you unless you had an affair.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	How would you even do it?
	You would start, open up a communication with some chick who you know is low on the moral scale.
	How do you know?
	How do you, I don't, I haven't, I've been married for 20, I've known my wife for 22 years, 21 years.
	I don't know any chicks.
	Well, that's the thing.
	If I called up an ex-girlfriend, she'd be like, hello?
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I wouldn't have their phone numbers.
	You'd have to work it.
	You see where there's, and then you see where there's like a little glint in her eye when she talks to you, and then you work it.
	And who talks to me?
	Whoever.
	If you go to the bar and there's a chick there.
	Brian, stop saying whoever.
	I pointed a gun to your head.
	What are you going to do?
	See, for you, it's hard because you don't have social media.
	Yeah, but you can't communicate on social media.
	What do you mean?
	Why?
	Well, I guess you could DM, but now that's evidence.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So you would go to upstate and talk to exes up there?
	It wasn't an ex.
	It was like I met a girl at a burger joint.
	How'd you meet her at a burger joint?
	That was one of them.
	No, what are we talking about?
	I'm talking about starting now going forward in the future.
	Not your bullshit what you fucked when you were 25.
	That's boring.
	It would be the same exact thing.
	So you would start chatting to girls at burger joints and saying, hello, I'm Ryan.
	Yeah.
	Oh, hi, Ryan.
	Want to fuck?
	No, no, no, no, no.
	It would be a long game.
	What do you do next?
	It would be a thing that would, in the long term, completely ruin multiple lives.
	So you go out on dates, you set up a date.
	Now you have to set up a date three or four towns away, and you have to say to your wife and native necessarily, hey, I got to go work for Gavin.
	See, well, the time constraints would be understood by the cheater girl, the mistress.
	She would be like, well, he's married, so I know that he can't come over for any more than blah, blah, blah.
	When do you tell her that?
	You're completely honest right up front.
	She's not going to fuck you.
	Okay.
	I mean, it literally, it happened to me before.
	There wasn't a marriage involved, but it was equally as fucked up.
	No, it's not equally as fucked up.
	For the woman, it's equally as fucked up.
	It's not even close.
	It's double fucked up.
	But women don't know what they want.
	You have to lead them into something.
	And if you lead them into bad territories like Breonna Taylor, they'll just stuff drugs up their ass and fucking go on a shootout with cops.
	They have no idea what they want until a man is like, I will, here, this is what I'm offering you.
	These are the ups, these are the downs.
	And she feels a little naughty.
	Ryan, I feel like you're a little bit of a drink.
	Girls are fucking six when you were a toddler.
	Don't sit here and give me a pickup artist session.
	I'm talking about the logistics of a married man with kids.
	But you're disagreeing that women will go along with such a thing.
	They absolutely will.
	And it happens.
	Women are cheating on married people.
	They're housebreaking all the time.
	Yeah, I know that.
	I just can't figure out the semantics of it.
	I can't figure out the actual logical process.
	But when you have that week away where your wife goes away or whatever, or if you fake a business trip and then we just come up with a video, I'm putting this all out there because I'd never planned on doing this, but it would be genius.
	You would just plan to be like, oh, I'm going to Car Guys.
	We're going to do a little bit of a car guys.
	Okay, so we're going to go to the next one.
	We film a short thing, and what is she going to look at the video?
	Even if she's going to make a video, we go there to Maryland, right?
	Now what?
	You saw how ugly everyone was in that bar, and they're all men.
	Well, you would be at this point.
	And plus, married for 20 years, you have no game.
	So I'm going to walk up to the bar with a beer and go, hi, can I buy you a drink?
	Well, okay, well.
	I'm trying to set up a mistress.
	Not you, but cheater man, married guy, has this thing burning in him where he wants to bang a new chick and cheat on his wife.
	So you would use that as your energy to hunt.
	And you would be.
	And by the way, when you get rejected, there's still a chick out there that wants you.
	So it's like, when you're single, your bottom line of being rejected is like...
	Stop talking down to me like you know more than me.
	I'm talking about.
	You're literally asking for how would you.
	I know, and you're schooling me on love and women and shit that I knew about when you didn't have pubes.
	What you just told me, what you just told me was.
	The only thing, the only logical place we've gotten with this infuriating conversation is you make up a fake business trip, then you go to a local bar and you try to pick up there.
	I don't know where you fuck them.
	I guess you get a hotel.
	I can't pick up girls at a bar.
	You might be able to, but like a 55-year-old man going up to a bar and saying, hi, how are you?
	A rich man.
	I have one night and about three hours to find someone that wants to fuck me.
	Excuse me, sir.
	You have money.
	You could pay for all her drinks, show a little flashiness, you got this car, and then you're funny.
	And then by the end of the night, she's like, you're funny.
	And you're drunk.
	And now, okay, now you have a mistress in Maryland, a four-hour drive away.
	Okay, well, I'm not, you want it to be a continual thing?
	Then that, you know, then maybe you do car guys once a month.
	And then we crank out that episode.
	We're there for two days, record the first day, the second day.
	You can make an excuse, be like, yeah, we're just staying there.
	Now I got to make sure what's her name is there in town.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, my point is, it seems way too complicated and way more work than it's worth.
	I don't get how it happens so often.
	I mean, 50% of marriages end and then they all seem to remarry.
	That I get.
	I get getting divorced and then being on dating apps.
	That makes sense.
	That's easy.
	That's fucking, you just go in a bunch of sites.
	I just don't get how, in this day and age, how you could be clandestine.
	I think it'd be easier to get away with a murder than have a mistress like you said.
	Yeah, it's destined to play the trailer for crimes and misdemeanors.
	Okay.
	I do want to see this movie.
	It looks pretty damn good.
	Shut up.
	What?
	You're a conversation stopper.
	Crimes and misdemeanors.
	We all have to wait here while Ryan tries to figure out how to spell misdemeanors.
	I spelt it correctly.
	I'm a very good speller.
	We should have a spelling be, and I'd prove that I'm smart.
	Ellen Alda kind of ruins it.
	He always has like a sub story.
	Over and over again, you'd leave Miriam.
	We made plans.
	See, see, stop.
	That's the part that's got to be inevitable.
	Where the mistress, the only way that this relationship can be good is if he shits on his marriage and says it's over.
	But after a while, she's going to be like, okay, well, when are you getting divorced?
	And that's exactly what happens here.
	So she decides to sabotage the marriage, which he won't let happen.
	You'd leave Miriam.
	We made plan, Miriam's his wife.
	I know I told you this before, but if you play your cards right, you can have my body.
	Wouldn't you rather leave it to science?
	You're everything, you're everything, you're every song I ever sing.
	The woman was trying to calm her down.
	What?
	Threats?
	Violence?
	What are we talking about here?
	She can be gotten rid of.
	I mean, I know a lot of people.
	Money will buy whatever's necessary.
	I'm not even going to comment on that.
	That's mind-boggling.
	And were there more than 24-7?
	Was that Peter Bogossian or something?
	He donated his eyes to science.
	That's the only thing that will satisfy me.
	Marry me.
	So Ewan Alda and him are fighting for me or Pharaoh.
	No, thanks.
	Can't they both lose?
	God is a luxury I can't afford.
	Damn.
	Holy shit.
	So that's kind of like a horror comedy or it's the only...
	I'm giving it away that way that she gets murdered.
	Sorry.
	But it's an insane movie because at the end of the film, he's fine with it.
	He's like, no.
	You have nightmares for the first week or so, but then you're fine.
	Now, I understand that when you have an affair, the mistress loses her shit and then you end up killing her to save your marriage.
	That at least has logical dominoes.
	You could hope for her just not being interested in you anymore.
	She's like, you know what?
	She moves on.
	Or you kill her.
	Or we gotta hit the bumper.
	Let me touch it.
	Garvin, no Gavin, and Chinese.
	Well, that's fucked up.
	Following the arrest of rappers who murdered people and rapped about it, and then in brackets, retards, they got a RICO case against them.
	The black artists in the video make it about white oppression on the black people and how they are getting their freedom of speech stripped from them since the cops use the lyrics against them.
	Whoa, that's an angle.
	The artists ignore the fact that the rappers they locked up are murderers.
	But what else would you expect?
	What the fuck?
	So wait, who's the Rico here?
	And why are you not caught up with this?
	1.15 p.m.
	Gosh, yeah, yeah.
	Boy, you're inept.
	So are the cops Rico?
	I believe in the First Amendment.
	It's one of our most precious rights.
	Hi, my name is Kennelis.
	It's no secret that people of color are under attack every day.
	But that's up.
	We need to protect freedom of speech, especially when it comes to art.
	My art is not a reflection of my character.
	It's being an artist.
	You should be able to always express the way you feel in that moment.
	Freedom of speech and expression is important to me because I think of, you know, all the beautiful music that everybody's put out.
	Being able to speak freely through music is important.
	This is like Brass Eye, that British show from the early 90s where they tricked celebrities into condoning pedophilia and all kinds of horrible stuff.
	It's a movement.
	Protect black art.
	Prosecutors filing new charges against artists Jeffrey Williams and Sergio Kitchen, citing their art as criminal evidence.
	So in trying to prove real crimes in the street, the indictment keeps going back to art.
	They're not using this against any other type of music.
	No, but Eric Clapton didn't shoot the sheriff.
	And Queen didn't just kill a man.
	They did.
	And I assume it wasn't solely on the rap lyrics, Doy.
	Hold on a second.
	Who wrote I Shot the Sheriff?
	Was it Bob Marley or was it Clapton?
	It was Bob Marley, Ryan.
	Oh, so why'd they show Clapton?
	Because they don't know that.
	Or the white guy.
	Let's just put on the white guy.
	A demon.
	Two men.
	Legally, they're presumed innocent.
	I'm going to deny Bonnie this time.
	And so there is not an undertone.
	It is clear racism.
	It's a direct attack on black artists.
	Gangster rap has become a dangerous thing.
	So are they implying that black artists are randomly thrown in jail?
	Because in a rap they go, yo, I shot a dude.
	You did?
	Well, you get to jail.
	Like, that's so juvenile.
	This is so embarrassing.
	Talk about Amateur Hour at the Apollo.
	And these people are sticking up for the likely black victims of the killings.
	Profitable by selling lyrics about black-on-black violence.
	It's not actually a form of music.
	Hip-hop has done more damage to young African Americans than rawism.
	This is how bad.
	This reminds me of there was a guy who got a tattoo of the murder.
	He killed some guy at a gas station or something, and he got a tattoo of the whole thing on his chest.
	And they don't use this as 100% of the evidence, but it sends them on a trail.
	Do you honestly think rappers are being thrown in prison just because they made up a fake story about killing someone?
	Do you honestly believe that?
	It's just low IQ garbage.
	Wait, now it's January 6th?
	What the fuck?
	Proud boys and at home.
	If this is how the system is.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	So two rappers kill a guy, brag about it, they go to jail, and the Proud Boys are involved, and it's my fault.
	Go back to that.
	By the way, my quotes from this show were all over the Proud Boys trial, and they didn't belong there.
	And profitable by selling lyrics about black-on-black violence.
	It's not actually a form of music.
	Hip-hop has done more damage to young African Americans than racism.
	This is how bad the country is.
	We're talking about lyrics.
	You have people who formed Proud Boys and at home.
	If this is how the system treats them, there are people who have formed Proud Boys and Black Americans day in and day out who aren't famous or well-known.
	This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen.
	Thrown in jail.
	All he did was murder someone and talk about it.
	Is it a crime to murder someone now?
	What the fuck is going on?
	I murdered one guy and you act like I'm a murderer.
	I'm a murderer to...
	Protect black art.
	I was doing research for my art.
	I'm rarely gobsmacked, but this is a doozy.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	I mean, it would be one thing if, like, there was a diss track and they threatened to kill each other.
	Yeah.
	And they would be like, of course.
	That's a threat.
	It's like, well, that's.
	I would be standing right next to them.
	Correct.
	Gohuru.
	Fuck you.
	Tupac and Biggie fucking both were like, we're going to kill you.
	Body count had the song Cop Killer.
	And they blew you up.
	I'm not a fan, but I don't want that censored.
	And I don't want him arrested, obviously.
	I don't think it's a very healthy message to send out there.
	And it could even inspire someone to kill a cop.
	But I don't want him thrown in jail for that.
	No one threw him in jail for that.
	They blew up your head in the video.
	Yeah, they blew up my head.
	Fucking Chuck D and Rage Against a Machine made a video of me talking here and then my head exploded.
	Where's the lawsuit?
	I don't want Some fucking psycho to see it and decide to blow me up.
	But I don't think anyone should go to jail for that.
	And no one did go to jail for that.
	They turned your head into a watermelon first.
	And by the way, you think they're going to blow up a perfectly good watermelon?
	Chuck D said that.
	He's like, yo, proud boys are domestic terrorists.
	No, proud boys are domestic terrorists.
	And I go, you love terrorism, Chuck D. You fucking blew my head up in a video.
	And he goes, that wasn't your head.
	That was a watermelon, which you probably want me to eat with some fried chicken.
	You know, I was just about to say, objection, Your Honor.
	Why would he blow up a watermelon when he could devour it with his buddies?
	Like, that was his comeback, which is Down syndrome levels.
	Yeah, you're...
	And then I think I said to him, imagine being our age and still going on the knee-jerk racism Uber reaction with fried chicken and watermelon every time you get into an argument.
	Pathetic.
	And then I was banned.
	So relieved you said knee-jerk.
	Thought that was good.
	Dear fags, Lizzo ruffled the feathers of the disabled community.
	We should have got Crip Daddy on to talk about this.
	Oh, he loves Lizzo.
	When she used an obscene slur that is so offensive, I'm not even sure censored.tv should air it.
	Are you ready to hear about the word that is so demeaning it forced this fat blob to apologize to the woke mob?
	Spaz.
	It's basically the CP equivalent of...
	Beware the power this once humble word holds.
	I want to hear the song now.
	She's redone it now, and she's deleted all the previous things.
	Yo, I'm not so pretty and I often act like a spaz.
	Wait, the girl.
	The internet never forgets.
	There has to be the original.
	I like the lyrics so far.
	I'm a spazz.
	I'm about to nut somebody.
	I'm going with my best friend.
	She the only one I know to talk me off is deep in.
	Cause that's my girl.
	We codependent.
	If she win it, then I'm waiting.
	Yeah, we talk about it.
	So go back.
	We've already passed that part.
	Offended.
	You can call yourself a spaz.
	I think a lot of these people who are freaking out are acting like a bunch of spastics.
	And I'm not giving up the word spaz.
	I gave up the word the n-word.
	I'm having trouble letting go of retard, but I'm open to discussion.
	But you can pry spaz from my cold, dead hands.
	I'm just going to say it spazz from now on.
	This one is right up your street.
	Former British heavyweight champion Julius Francis, who fought Mike Tyson.
	Fuck, that must be scary.
	Now working as security at Box Park Wembley and dealing with some trouble today.
	This is a great fight video.
	And a reminder that the one screaming the loudest is often the one most full of shit.
	Just because someone is dressed tough and has tattoos and he's like, you want me to fucking go off?
	First of all, if he was going to go off, he already would have went off.
	But those guys are not all they're cracked up to be.
	And if a guy's really acting tough, he's probably full of shit and easy to knock out.
	I'm not thrilled with this internet connection here.
	Okay, we're ready.
	This is Britain, right?
	Probably on the east end of London.
	Don't touch me, don't touch me.
	That's speaking with Britain.
	Mike Skinner says that in a song.
	Don't touch me.
	Don't touch me.
	What have you done, Ryan?
	What are you doing?
	You're ruining everything.
	The sound.
	I rewounded this like 19 times when I saw it.
	It's just like such a steak.
	No, I thought that was the Julian guy going.
	Maybe, yeah.
	Either way, it's very gratifying.
	No, you hear also a punch.
	So whoever said that.
	Fuck around and find out.
	Hey, guys.
	So normally my husband and I make fun of how gay you get about fashion LOL, but now I find myself actually needing some of this advice.
	Oh.
	After the little red hen makes all the bread with no help from anyone, she wants a slice.
	If you and Maddie could weigh in, Maddie, he has a pearl jam tattoo, wears flip-flops and shorts even when it's snowing out, and has like seven biker shirts he recycles.
	My husband Eric has always worked jobs like truck driver, equipment, operator, highway repairs.
	So his work boots were the most durable and comfortable ones we could find.
	Zero shits were given how they looked.
	He'll be starting a new job.
	Okay, I shouldn't be helping you because you were so rude and I should make you suffer for your mockery.
	But just go with classic labels.
	Filson.
	The boots should be red wings.
	Filson makes great shirts, great pants, flannels.
	In the summer, you should still wear pants and your red wings.
	Red wing boots are the key.
	Although, the last pair I got, they never broke in.
	They still hurt.
	But Pendleton is another good label.
	And yeah, that's it.
	Just stick with classics.
	And then I have those pants I told you about, remember?
	Yeah.
	What were those again?
	Oil?
	Oil and resin?
	Oil and resin is a good label that has a lot of cool shirts, but that wasn't it.
	Oh, fuck.
	Iron and stuff.
	Grease point.
	Grease point workwear has cool jeans that cost a fucking fortune.
	And then Red Clouds Collective has cool work shirts and stuff.
	All of this is super expensive.
	You know, a good polo that I like if you're doing something formal and it's warmout.
	Brooks Brothers polos are really high quality, durable, they last forever.
	And I've given you too much.
	You're the grease points.
	You were so rude to me.
	And I just rolled over like a bitch.
	All right, iron and resin, pretty dope.
	A lot of waxiness.
	And you go to Pendleton, and it looks like they've gotten to the level of success where they need to.
	Oh, they've got...
	You know, you've made it with an outdoor brand when everyone is black.
	He's laughing.
	What the fuck are we doing out here, man?
	Where the fuck are we?
	Did I die?
	Is this heaven?
	There's no buildings in heaven?
	Yo, this wool sugar.
	Yo, man, what if we need a snack?
	You couldn't hook me up with the big Lebowski snacks?
	Heaven ain't got any snapple?
	How am I going to get a grape drink with no buildings?
	So you mix the river water.
	Oh, look at this.
	They're everywhere.
	Yeah, this guy loves the big Lebowski.
	What's his favorite line from the Big Lebowski, you think?
	Yo.
	Dear Gav McKinnis, I know that you're adamantly against selfies and all they represent.
	You definitely make good points against them.
	It isn't as if the person can pretend they are suddenly friends with a celebrity.
	Plus, you hate the idea of fans.
	It's not very punk rock to fawn over someone or deify them.
	But with you, it's different.
	And this is my favorite subject, so of course I'm reading it.
	You have become the avatar of free speech.
	This is how to get into my good books.
	You are so canceled, and people are such pussies, they have to request to not have their names read when they email you.
	Or else face repercussions.
	I understand them.
	This guy is emailing me as War Machine.
	Just as we could understand people fleeing back home to their huts before the battle in Braveheart, it is sensible.
	But there is honor in having the courage to fight, just as there is to get a picture with you and say, fuck you if you have a problem with this.
	People risk being ostracized by friends and family, fired at work, and becoming a pariah themselves just for being associated with you.
	You are that poisonous, but in reality, you are that truthful.
	And as we saw in What is a Woman, truth has become the most vile thing imaginable to the left.
	Yeah, and that guy who had his account canceled.
	And the funny thing about that account, too, he was a white guy, but Grindface and all these ghetto accounts who just show it because it's their friends, they are all getting shut down because we don't like the truth.
	There we go.
	Gavin McKinnis with a selfie stick.
	You being such a beacon of truth means you are a preeminent villain to them.
	Okay.
	I get that.
	I get your point.
	By the way, did you see that thing that was leaked of Twitter techies talking about whether they should ban libs of TikTok or not?
	They're like, I think we won't lose that many people, but it might not be good for us financially, meaning Elon's about to buy us.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, pull it up.
	Are you looking for it?
	Got this.
	Well, there's the Twitter death threats, yeah.
	I don't know if that's the same thing, though.
	Oh, that looked like it.
	Go back up.
	There we go.
	That's it.
	I mean, we successfully deplatformed Trump.
	I don't think deplatforming Libs of TikTok is going to cause a mass exodus, but I guess it may not be fiduciary, in our fiduciary interest, to enact a ban on a high-profile account right now.
	Whoopthy doops.
	She has an alternate website.
	I haven't checked it out yet.
	Who Libs does?
	Yeah, it said subscribe here in case I'm booted.
	Here we go.
	Breaking leak internal messaging, blah, blah, blah.
	Suspension for my account.
	Yeah, we are.
	Check out.com.
	So she's got a backup.
	We got it.
	We got it.
	So I watch Owen Crowder.
	So I watch Owen Benjamin stream a lot and more on that.
	On one occasion, he's expounded upon his time writing for Steven Crowder.
	Obviously, there's some bad blood there.
	One detail that stuck out to me was that at some point, Crowder called Owen and told him, hey, don't talk to Gavin anymore.
	Owen didn't elaborate as to why Crowder didn't want him talking to the G-Dog, but clearly Crowder felt threatened by his association with you, meaning he felt as though your bad press would affect his bottom line.
	Yeah, and he might be right.
	I mean, they came at James O'Keefe for hanging out with me.
	I think Crowder is a closeted gay guy, personally.
	No one puts on that many dresses and isn't at least a little bit bi-curious.
	Someone else says, if E.T. could fly, why didn't he fly back to the ship when he was first chased by the feds?
	Well, the ship was gone.
	And if you're talking about the very, very beginning when they forgot him, he can't fly like 9 million miles an hour and catch up to a spaceship.
	But you're right.
	At the beginning when the feds were chasing him, he could have just flied.
	But I guess he was trying to not be noticed.
	So he was hoping that they could escape on their own and he wouldn't have to give away that he's an alien who can fly.
	Just want to say thanks for the show and thanks for the Johnny Apple referral.
	Delta 8 is no joke.
	I've laughed a lot at your material throughout the past, but having tried these STEM Go 8s, the riffing is making me laugh my fucking head off.
	Hoping Flavored Delta comes out.
	Okay.
	Someone's calling themselves a greedy bitch.
	It's too long.
	Last one.
	Amy Sederis shit chest apartment tour.
	Amy Sederis has no husband or children and her apartment is retarded.
	I know Amy.
	I don't know.
	I've hung out with her a couple times.
	I went to dinner with her, Justin Throw, and Jennifer Anniston once and got wasted.
	And I went to her book tour.
	And yeah, she would be a fantastic mom.
	That's the thing too, but Anthony Coomi's like, thank God I never had kids.
	Yeah, it'd really suck if you were a dad with your drones and your best video game setup in the world.
	Karaoke.
	Karaoke, like he would be the funnest dad in the world.
	And I've seen him around kids.
	He's awesome.
	He loves them.
	He's laughing with them.
	And Amy would have been the most fun, amazing mom on earth.
	She also is still pretty.
	Todd Oldham, who has been a design co-conspirator on too many projects to count before.
	Enchanting and hilarious are the operative words.
	I've lived in this apartment since 2008 and now it's 2018.
	I didn't design Amy's house at all here, but I'm always happy to have a front row seat and get to see what kind of new adventures.
	She was in Star Wars.
	Imagine your mom was in Star Wars.
	You can lower doorknobs and you can move electrical boxes and you can destroy, like he said, if you rent an apartment, it's great because you can just.
	And when you read David Sederis' books, she's often in them because he's talking about her and she just sounds like the funnest, funniest, coolest person in the world.
	You know what she used to do to her brother?
	She would get off a stop early on the bus and just walk home.
	And as she's getting off the public bus, she'd yell to her brother, good luck with your rape charges.
	Is he gay?
	Bench part and shorten the back end.
	Why is it gay to sit in a different way, which sends relaxing?
	Portland Strait.
	It's amazing how many people are not having kids.
	Todd Oldham gay?
	Yes, he's a raging fag.
	He's actually sucking a dick right now, according to the internet.
	Currently raging.
	HBU.
	And his husband, our long-term boyfriend, is Tony Longoria.
	That's a nickname.
	Who's some sort of artist?
	Because he's long in Longoria.
	Okay, let's get to the final vid.
	I thought I'd end on a happy note with a dude being with some gay porn.
	We love watching men on this network because they're often derided, especially non-men of color.
	I like how everyone else gets to be a color and we're not a color.
	White.
	Yeah.
	Pink is a color.
	So this guy doesn't want to get his shoes wet and doesn't want to bother taking them off.
	So he figures, I'll just get the ball by standing on my hands.
	You know how long you'd have to train to pull this off?
	You're at risk of getting everything you own wet, too.
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	Check this out.
	My arm would snap.
	Uh-oh, did he dip his toe there?
	And then he's back up.
	Look at that.
	That's a strong...
	Oh, shit!
	And he's back up.
	Okay, I'd have to lie down for a month after that.
	I'd have to just buy a new ball.
	Anyway, isn't it crazy that it's become so radical to tell the truth?
	I mean, we're trying to show you black's beaving badly, and everyone who previously pointed out is banned.
	We find out that the Prowl boys, who were flashing white power symbols, which is this, yelling homophobic epithets like tranny and groomer, he was a tranny, and he did tell kids to suck his dick.
	It's like just sitting here and telling you what actually happened has become this radical show that it's banned and we've been hacked and lost our URL and had the payment processors.
	And all I'm doing is just saying normal dad stuff that your dad always said your whole life growing up.
	And that I better say, because if I don't, we have the whole country burning down.
	We have retailers going bankrupt, stores going bankrupt all over the country because they can just be robbed.
	We've got 20 blacks murdered a day.
	And we have kids being walked into the lion's den with people saying, if you object, you don't want gays to live.
	No, I'm not falling for that bullshit.
	I'm going to keep telling the truth.
	And you should too.
	So get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	I'm out of here, money.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye, everybody.
	Hold on, I'm coming.

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