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May 6, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:32:55

S4E112 - BLACK COMEDY

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	The sun goes up, the sun goes down, I don't feel you, I feel the dawn.
	I feel the dawn.
	That was Jack White.
	He's no longer in the red stripes.
	Did you know that?
	The white stripes.
	No, it's red stripes.
	He's not into the beer anymore?
	No, it's named after the American flag.
	Okay.
	I didn't know that.
	Another called the Red Stripes was him and a fat chick named Meg.
	Could have sworn.
	Did you know Joe Biggs, he doesn't have a show here.
	We didn't want them to use it as evidence, but when he comes back, he might do a show, and it's going to be very African-American-based.
	It's going to be him with black dudes just looking at chicks.
	You know, big butts and that kind of stuff.
	Just a fun, kind of a sexy show.
	I swear, I thought you were going to say Joe Niggs.
	No, it's called Niggs and Pigs with Joe Diggs.
	See, I thought.
	I don't like that name.
	So I told him, I was like, you're not calling it that, dude.
	And you're not going to get any guests if that's the name of the show.
	He's more focused on January 6th now, anyway.
	While I was entertaining you fuckers last night, the Mets played the greatest game in the history of baseball.
	Their biggest comeback in, I think, 23 years.
	They were 0-7 at the ninth inning and then won it.
	I talked to Gino Biscante.
	So, you know, Gino likes the Phillies, so he bet 50 bucks on it.
	And he goes yesterday, or sorry, Wednesday.
	He goes, yeah, I'm out.
	I go, what?
	I said, we talked about this at Infinitum.
	That's why you chose $50 because you're not as rich as me and you didn't want to lose too much money.
	And he goes, yeah, I didn't think it through.
	I go, no, what this means is you're not a man of your word.
	You're the Aaron Berg of baseball bets.
	And he's like, yeah, I just, it's too, I already hurt every time I see the Phillies lose.
	I don't want to add more pain to that.
	I'm like, that's the whole, this wasn't rocket science.
	I didn't say like every third Thursday of the month you have to eat a pear and then you found out you're allergic to pears.
	No, even that, you'd know you were allergic to pears already.
	Yeah.
	So everything was out on the table and you just fucking pussied out.
	You fucking guess hole.
	Am I getting, so we have a new background.
	This is the background for the fun intro parts of the show.
	This might get on my nerves, though.
	Elon just looking at you?
	Yeah.
	Well, he's not reading the paper.
	He's interested in what you're saying.
	He's not letting me back on Twitter.
	That's true.
	Why are we letting him on our platform then?
	I shouldn't be back on Twitter.
	I'm too mean.
	I have a tattoo that says ain't no nice guy because I'm not a nice person.
	He's not a nice person.
	What's that from?
	Trump said it.
	He's not a nice person.
	Or she's not a nice person, I think.
	Like, we're going to get into this abortion shit in a second.
	This Proud Boy stalker wrote an article about how she had an abortion and she doesn't regret it.
	And everyone's telling her she's brave.
	And I would tweet at her.
	How brave of you to kill a baby because you were stressed out about the pandemic.
	Then I would be blocked.
	And I would just keep going through that.
	Saying things that would just make people want to kill themselves.
	There'd be mass suicides if I was allowed back on Twitter.
	So yeah, my bet is 19-9.
	They're third in the entire league.
	$720.
	Gino said, he texted me.
	He goes, thank God I don't have a gun because it would be in my mouth at that game.
	We were destroying you until the ninth inning where we won.
	I had people texting me going, I don't really like baseball or the Mets, but it was on in a bar.
	Holy fuck.
	Yeah.
	What a rally.
	I've got it here.
	One, two.
	Fucking the one, two.
	What did Brandon Nimmo say?
	I'm sure everyone counted us out.
	These guys, they don't give up.
	With that mentality, anything is possible.
	These are all great lessons.
	This is why your kids should get into sports.
	I'm an optimist.
	I just keep going until they blow the whistle.
	You just never give up.
	The stats can say all they want.
	They say it can't be done, but that's why you play the game.
	So somebody...
	It's four and seven.
	You've had people write into you to clarify the betting, how the bet works.
	Oh, my God.
	Thank you for that.
	Jesus Christ.
	I have 100 emails about how my bet works.
	It really gets into your head this game.
	I bet golf is the same way.
	Like you have a shitty hole and then you're just like, I hate myself.
	Actually, I know that for a fact.
	That's what happens to me.
	What a game that must have been to be at.
	Imagine how shitty you felt if you left early to beat the traffic.
	Holy fuck.
	We should go to the driving range and film it.
	Okay.
	That'd be a cool little thing.
	And then maybe you could teach me how to hit a ball like my dad never did.
	Yeah, okay.
	Prodigal son.
	Ryan Catsu Rivera is the only person in the world to get a ball stuck in a tree.
	Oh, that's right.
	In golf, yes.
	And then he started throwing a club at the ball like it's what he does for a living, thinking he's going to knock the ball down.
	And didn't we all have a scare?
	We all looked at it because the club looked like it was going to stick up there for a second or something.
	Whoa, whoa.
	Obviously, the club is way easier to stay in a tree.
	As I learned.
	Would you rather go to jail for a month or go to jail until you can get a ball stuck in a tree?
	So we let you out for an hour a day.
	It sounds more fun to do the ball thing.
	Yeah, not after you're 36, it's not.
	So you have just one hour to try it each day?
	you get your fucking hair out of your face?
	I gotta put money in my jar.
	You put a doll in your jar every time?
	What?
	I touch my hair on camera.
	Off camera?
	I can touch it all I want.
	Just use your eyeballs correctly, please.
	I don't think that's too much to ask for.
	Get the bet out of here.
	We got it.
	So what would you do?
	I would do the ball thing.
	I'm pretty confident I can get that ball up there.
	Good.
	I'm glad because I want you to do 12 years.
	You would do 12 years, my friend.
	Yeah, maybe you're right.
	I always say to people, would you rather go to jail until you can do a Rubik's Cube or one month?
	They always choose the cube.
	And I'm like, okay, bye.
	Can I have your shit?
	Because you're not coming back.
	No fucking way.
	I think you'd rather fail really badly if you have some control than just be helpless for three years into it.
	And you're just like, what the fuck?
	I don't think I could ever do the Rubik's Cube.
	I mean, I've tried 900 times.
	It's an algorithm.
	You can do it one color.
	Yeah.
	But one woman I proposed that to, and she goes, oh, I'd definitely do the Rubik's Cube.
	Why?
	Oh, you'd be done all the possible combinations in about a day or two.
	What do you mean?
	She goes, well, how many things are there?
	One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
	So it's nine times nine times nine times nine times nine.
	And I'm like, no, it's not.
	She reckons herself a bit of a math whiz, I should tell you.
	And I don't know how many combinations it is.
	It's really complex, math.
	Exponents, right.
	And we looked it up, and it's like 9 zillion cadrazillion.
	It's a new number.
	It's like a Googleplex.
	I can look it up here.
	43 quintillion.
	That's a little more than 9 times 99999999.
	Even if it was 9, 10, 9, 9, 9, 9, that still sucks.
	You have to remember all those combinations, mind you.
	You might repeat some, yeah.
	I did it two or that's probably six summers ago.
	I just kept solving the Rubik's Cube because you look up the algorithm and then you have the pattern, so you just fucking do it.
	And you challenge yourself a little bit.
	Wait, you can do a Rubik's Cube and I can't?
	I had.
	It comes with a little paper nowadays.
	And it tells you the algorithms, and you just follow that until you fix it.
	Algorithms.
	So it tells you if you got one standing out on the top right corner, this is what you do.
	If you got one in the middle, this is what you do.
	And pretty much that's all the...
	That's really all you need to know.
	But the thing I don't get is you get one color and then when you go to get the other color, you fuck up your previous color.
	Well, you get a cross first.
	First, you get the whole thing.
	So the core, every core is in the...
	It's like a cross.
	And then you got to just figure out the corners.
	Now you're good.
	It's pretty simple.
	I figured it out.
	You ever see that documentary with those guys that can do it in like a nanosecond?
	Yeah, that's pretty nuts.
	It's some Asian dude who I think is the world champion, and he's clearly autistic beyond recognition.
	Beyond recognition.
	And then the number two guy is like a normal Australian dude.
	There was a good documentary about it.
	This kid?
	Oh, is this the kid who had a boner?
	Oh, yeah, everybody had a boner?
	Hello, video.
	It's not boner kid.
	That's the guy.
	I recognize him, yeah.
	And then there's the weird Asian who has to bring his parents everywhere.
	We're going to talk about racism later on the show.
	But also before we get started, Media Malfeasance, Project Veritas, I was hanging out with them last night, actually.
	They are on fire recently.
	Like, remember the old days in our old studio?
	Oh, two months have gone by.
	We have a Project Veritas story.
	Nope.
	Now it is at least once a week.
	I said to James, I go, please just do a show on this network.
	You could just cover Project Veritas and you'd have an episode.
	Maybe not an episode a day, but you'd have like three a week.
	So last night he's got this, I don't know if I should be saying this out of turn, but he's got this Twitter dude.
	Ooh, okay, this is dangerous here, but I'm going to risk it.
	He's got this Twitter dude on file talking about gimps and spastics and autistic.
	He's a homo, and he's making fun of people with disabilities, which I do every day, including with people with disabilities like Crip Daddy.
	Maybe we should get him on the show.
	But he chased him down.
	And I saw the video.
	The camera work is fucking fantastic.
	But, oh, good.
	Sorry.
	Hiding in the audience.
	The owner of the comedy club came out and told me that he is a fan of Elon Musk.
	The owner is.
	And invited me to go on stage.
	I'm not making this up.
	This is not an undercover thing.
	This is actually happening in New York City.
	I'm about to go on stage with a videotape of this Twitter executive and confront me again.
	This is not planned.
	I'm following this Twitter person.
	He's sitting in the audience.
	This is where we started the show.
	Upstairs.
	Where am I going?
	Oh, there he is.
	He's turned around.
	He's turned.
	It's kind of unfortunate he didn't get to hit the stage.
	I know.
	Wouldn't that have been great?
	He does a tight five.
	Have you been on airplanes lately?
	So did you understand what happened there?
	He's chasing the guy down for making fun of handicaps.
	And he ran to the stand where we started free speech.
	That location is where I said to that woman, well, you're not talking about Turkey.
	You're not talking about Eastern Europe.
	Countries have better systems, have more white people in them.
	So, yeah, the owner of the stand, that's the guy suing Facebook or Twitter.
	I think he's also suing the city.
	I think he's suing de Blasio because he lost so much money during COVID.
	He's a fucking ballsy dude.
	He's a very Breitbart-like guy, the owner of the stand.
	This guy's wrong, by the way.
	This just happened and it's bananas.
	No, bananas is in Hasbrook Heights.
	This is stand-up New York.
	Wrong.
	The guy went to get into his house.
	And then they go to a restaurant and the woman goes, he runs into a restaurant.
	So James chases him in there.
	And the woman goes, oh, my God, James O'Keefe.
	And then she said, and this is unheard of, make sure you tag my restaurant in this video.
	I'm from Czechoslovakia.
	We lived under Stalin.
	And I fucking love you guys, and I hate this bullshit.
	What the fuck is going on?
	Are the tides turning?
	James O'Keefe used to need a bodyguard to walk around Manhattan.
	Now people are like, would you like a drink?
	Get on stage.
	Let's find the guy you're chasing down.
	But he's gay.
	You're bullying a homosexual.
	Sorry, you guys wanted equality.
	You got it now.
	What do you think?
	You're in with the rest of us.
	Okay, I think we're ready to.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, wait a minute.
	That's not even the story I meant to get to.
	Like, the guy, it's a well-oiled machine over there.
	I'm honestly in awe.
	I think this is everything Vice could have been if I had stayed there and I gave a shit about fucking global travel.
	So Project Veritas tracks down all these visas and disco- No, no, no, I should always be on the right-hand side.
	And discovers that they are giving them to terrorists.
	Took me about 10 years to get my American citizenship.
	I had to spend $10,000 in various visas updating H-1Bs until I got a green card.
	I took way too long, and that's on me.
	But eventually I got it.
	Hard work.
	Had to prove.
	When we moved here with Vice, we had to show that we were providing like 20 jobs to Americans.
	And then they were like, okay, maybe a visa.
	But if you're a Muslim terrorist, come on board.
	Okay, now play it there.
	Yeah.
	Anwar Halakh Wahidi, who is classified as a category 15 threat by the Department of Homeland Security for having used explosives for arms.
	How many people that were participating in the meandering of Jan 6 are in solitary confinement right now, while these guys are literally getting sanctioned by the government?
	Stamp, you're in.
	So those guys who followed the police, who held the door open, they're in prison right now.
	It's been probably 18 months since they've been there, January, February, March, April, May.
	16 months they've been in there.
	And we're giving visas to not sort of terrorists, not potentially dangerous Muslims, but terrorists with criminal records that include terrorism.
	What a shit show.
	We are.
	America has become a ship of fools.
	The lunatics are running the asylum.
	We're being led by the blind.
	Ad Rahimi entered the U.S. on August 24th, 2021.
	Flagged by DHS because he has engaged or is likely to engage in an unspecified violent terrorist act.
	Despite being apprehended by ICE while in the U.S., he is yet to be deported, and his last known address is in our nation's capital.
	Ismail Jarat arrived in the U.S. on August 31st, 2021.
	Less than a month later, he was re-added to the terror watch list as a category 15 used explosives or arms.
	Since then, his work visa has been approved.
	Tasanola Wafa Manazile was paroled into the U.S. on October 1st.
	Can you just float these by me first?
	Because I can tell by their face that they're terrorists.
	They have a fuck you face at every one.
	Like, pose for the photo, please.
	And I wouldn't even take the picture.
	I'd be like, you're out of here.
	Next.
	Go and take a picture of me, infidel.
	I'm not taking a picture of you.
	You're out of here.
	They're stuck like that because when they're wiring the explosive, they.
	By the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	We're behind the pay.
	I was going to say, by the way, freeloaders, you should check out the second half of last night's show.
	We really got into it with Dick Man.
	But if you're watching this, you're behind the paywall, Gavin.
	18th, 2021.
	The next day, he was re-added to the terror watch list as a category 7 threat if enters the U.S. Also approved for his two-year work visa.
	Meet Anwar Halak Wahidi.
	If anything, if I was a journalist, that was my job.
	I worked at the New York Times.
	I would look at Project Fairy Task and go, I suck.
	I suck at my job.
	I haven't uncovered it.
	Like Alan Froyer, who's devoted, I don't know, 40 articles to January 6th or all of these hate watch fucking loser cunts that are obsessed with the Proud Boys.
	There's real stories going on out there.
	They don't involve white people, unfortunately.
	So I guess you're not interested.
	He found the other Alan.
	I found the other me.
	That's cool.
	That's a whole documentary, by the way, of him talking about this billionaire who's also named that.
	Great story, dude.
	I found a Gavin McInnis in Australia.
	Should I do a doc?
	Anyway, let's jump into feminism.
	Well, we're going to start the show.
	So, first we start the show.
	And then we leap right into feminism.
	This is kind of a hole with the plot here because we need two interstitials, starting the show and then the thing we're starting the show with.
	Who here identifies as a feminist?
	We are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's tough to Gonesculitany if you don't realize how you're behaving.
	Did you make that?
	Yes.
	What, you're going to say it was good, but then you took it away because I made it?
	Yeah, now I hate it.
	There's somebody in that intro that they watched the show and they were like, why am I in that?
	And I'm like, oh, shit.
	Do you want us to take you out?
	And they're like, no, no, we love it.
	We laugh every time we see it.
	Don't we have a triangle one for feminism?
	I'm looking.
	Well, this one was made by Jose, so I think this is our feminism one from him.
	I want a triangle one for all of them.
	I've told you that 760 times.
	It's true.
	I guess we.
	We don't have one from him.
	Okay, well, get on that.
	Get a triangle one.
	I'll get on it.
	I'm going to write that down because if you don't do that, I'm going to fucking murder you.
	Well, it's in my best interest to not be murdered, so I will also write that down.
	So this abortion thing, we talked about this yesterday, and everyone on the right says, we're fucked.
	That was really bad.
	The leak is terrible news.
	Women are going to come out in force for the election now, and we're going to not, we might not lose in the midterms, but it's no longer going to be a tidal wave.
	And I'm like, I get that logic, but hear me out.
	These stupid bitches have gone from rational discussions like, if abortion is illegal, then we'll die doing shitty ones.
	And what if a girl was raped?
	And all those kind of things where it tugs on your heartstrings, right?
	They've abandoned that and they're like, fuck them kids.
	Now, surely when you do that, the GOP goes, I'm going to vote because I don't want these fucking abortions anymore.
	So the abortionists have ruined their brand.
	So couldn't you argue that the leak is good for us?
	Because they go, oh, good.
	They're talking about overturning Roe v.
	Wade.
	Also, people always forget that 50% of women are pro-life.
	So they're going to get off the couch, too.
	You know what I'm saying?
	I think it's good that that leaked.
	I think it's good that overturning Roe v.
	Wade is on the horizon.
	Now, these fucking idiots think that it's going to be illegal coast to coast to have an abortion.
	No, it's just no longer federal law.
	It'll be like marijuana.
	States can do what they want.
	And in other words, ladies, worst case scenario is you're not in a Demron city, which is pretty hard to find these days, and you have to go on a road trip because you're a whore.
	Hey, I got to show you that chart that Garrett sent me because it breaks down how often they do how often they get an abortion just for no reason.
	Now, of course, the right handles a lot of this propaganda, so they really expand on the choice part.
	And they say, oh, she did it because family matters or fear or geography and blah, blah, blah.
	It's just different ways of saying it was her prerogative, right?
	I sent it to your Gmail, Ryan.
	But yeah, it's never rape.
	It's never incest.
	It's always just, pff.
	I wasn't in the mood.
	And they, I don't know the exact numbers, but close to half the time, it's, yeah, I was all set up.
	I already had a kid.
	I just, it was bad timing.
	Incest, nothing.
	Life endangered, nothing.
	Raped, nothing.
	Women's physical health, still not even 1%.
	Fetal abnormality.
	Oh, shit.
	Isn't that weird that it's a number of the beast?
	Yes.
	Social or economic reasons.
	You'd think that would be a doozy.
	That's what everyone accepts.
	Look, the left is racist.
	They don't think that blacks can handle themselves.
	So they think that abortion is just a crackhead mom preventing another thug from entering the streets.
	So they say it means less blacks.
	Like Howard Stern accidentally on a daily basis says, I'm for abortion because it means less blacks.
	He thinks of them as like rescues, like Beth's kittens.
	So that's only 6%.
	And then 92% are just like, eh, I want to do it.
	So that brings us to this fucking bitch I was talking about.
	2-0.
	No, 2-0, Ryan.
	So her name is E.J. Dixon.
	She's a proud boy stalker.
	And she's a silly little girl, like a babysitter type.
	But she's married and has a kid.
	There are a million reasons to get an abortion.
	This was mine.
	I didn't want to have an abortion.
	Period.
	New sentence in a byline, in a subhead.
	But I also knew that I could not, couldn't not have one.
	Double negative and a new sentence with but in a fucking subhead.
	Nice grammar, Rolling Stone.
	So yeah, this silly cunt wrote this article about her abortion, and I saw it on Twitter, and everyone is like.
	That was so brave.
	You did it.
	And as a brainwashed ex-liberal, when I see that and I go, oh, so I'm going to assume best case scenario, she was flat broke.
	She was 17, 18.
	She was living on the streets or staying at a friend's house and the kid, she wanted the kid to have a better life.
	And she wasn't prepared to put it up for adoption.
	And then worst case scenario, she was raped or whatever.
	It was going to be grossly deformed.
	No, none of those.
	This is her reason For killing her baby.
	At the time, I had my abortion.
	I was not a callous baby murder-loving bitch.
	Yeah, you were.
	On the contrary, I wanted desperately to become a mother again and to give my son a sibling.
	She wanted a kid.
	It was just an inconvenient day.
	That's like Amber Tamblin.
	She got an abortion before she was married because, I don't know, I don't be all fat at the wedding or whatever.
	It was an inconvenient timing, but just a little off.
	I know of a few couples like this where they met, they're dating, they're going to get married, then she got pregnant before the marriage, and she's like, meh, it'll look like a shotgun wedding.
	Let's just abort this one, and then we'll have a real one like four months after we're married.
	Oh, sorry.
	So the punishment for being too early to the party is death.
	With adults, if you show up too early to the party, people go, oh, you're kind of early.
	Not if you're a baby.
	Then you're dead.
	The desire to have another child to clean, split, and squeeze chubby legs and feel a tiny, warm body fall asleep on my chest consumed my every waking moment.
	What?
	To the point that moms on the street were probably sick, wary of how much attention I gave to their babies.
	But, but, she loves the new sentence with but, but my desire to have a baby coincided with the advent of the pandemic, which absolutely fucking wrecked my mental health, you guys.
	I spent most of my time sanitizing groceries.
	I was worrying about the then three-year-old son.
	So she had been worrying and stuff, and she was crying, calling her dad.
	I mean, you can't have a baby if you're sad.
	You can't have a baby if you're worried about the pandemic.
	My OCD had gone into overdrive.
	I also developed an intense vomit phobia.
	I murdered my baby because I was scared of Barf.
	I was neither eating nor sleeping.
	I was in such a state of constant unrelenting anxiety.
	You know who else had a lot of anxiety during the pandemic?
	Earth.
	Everyone, you spoiled fucking brat.
	Baby's dead.
	Yeah, and this is the girl, by the way.
	Go to 2-1.
	So you wonder, like, you keep seeing the Proud Boys attacked, and you're like, why do they keep attacking Proud Boys?
	Is it because they're pro-family?
	They're just bodyguarding someone.
	And then look, this is the same woman who wrote The Rise and the Fall of the Proud Boys, where she says the group trotted out its charismatic and media-credentialed leader, vice co-founder, and cable news pundit, Gavin McInnes, as quote-unquote, evidence that it was a legitimate group.
	Yeah, it is evidence.
	McInnis has always espoused misogynistic views, and I think he saw an opening for himself with the rise of the men's rights movement in the 2010s.
	Says Julia DeCook, an assistant professor at Loyola University who studies digital platforms and the far right.
	Without exception, these women who examine the far right are fucking childless spinster cunts or women with the kid who are constantly aborting their next child.
	They are mentally fucked.
	They're never normal women.
	They're killing a baby because they feel stressed out.
	So this woman can't even handle her own home life.
	And she's sitting there criticizing other groups and saying the Proud Boys would later play a similar shell game with Tario, who's Afro-Cuban, citing his leadership role as evidence that it was not a white supremacist group.
	Yeah, that is evidence.
	Despite its anti-immigrant, misogynistic, just say misogynist.
	Misogynist is an adjective and a noun.
	Don't say misogynistic.
	I hate that word.
	It's like communistic or terroristic.
	And Islamophobic rhetoric and many of its members having neo-Nazi affiliations.
	So she's sitting there nitpicking, monitoring proud boys, saying some of them have neo-Nazi.
	That guy spoke to a guy who knows a Nazi.
	Oh, really?
	So you're judging other people?
	How's your home life?
	Oh, I murdered a baby because I was in a bad mood.
	Oh, okay.
	So that's who's telling us how to live.
	The people who murder.
	And it gets worse.
	Let's go back to the beginning here.
	The quintessential example of this family sabotaging, psychotic, hate-filled cunt is Amanda Duarte.
	She is a failed actress who moved to L.A., but she's fat and ugly and boring and can't act.
	You should be one of those things in reverse if you ever want to be an actor.
	You should be good at acting or be attractive and be not fat, but she's all those bad things at once.
	So she became a writer, and she's a self-proclaimed feminazi who hates Trump, of course, because he represents the family and masculinity, and they hate that because that's what doesn't like them.
	She had some guy dump her when she got fat and ugly.
	So a lot of these women, they declare revenge on mankind and the family.
	Murdering babies is a great way to get revenge on the family, but also bragging about it.
	So check out this tweet, 1-7.
	She deeply regrets this one, and it's actually becoming old news now.
	I do wonder how these white supremacist lawmakers would feel if their little white daughters were raped and impregnated by black men.
	Now, she apologized for that, and she admits it's racist.
	It's not actually racist.
	It's incredibly offensive, but it's offensive because you're wishing for rape on someone that you disagree with politically.
	Not just them, their children.
	But it's not racist.
	She's saying that she's assuming that we're racist and our daughter is being raped by a black man is our worst nightmare.
	No, our daughter's being raped by a man is our worst nightmare, you stupid bitch.
	But it's not racist to assume that we're racist.
	It's just stupid.
	But anyway, there she is.
	So much vitriol, so much hatred to the right that she wants our daughters to be raped.
	Forget the race part.
	That's not even interesting.
	That's just her misunderstanding our political beliefs.
	I don't want any liberals' kids.
	I don't want anyone to be raped.
	But it gets worse.
	This isn't the first time she's fucked up back in 2018, was it?
	2016.
	I almost want to get pregnant with Trump's baby and let it get to full term just so I can rip it halfway out and cut its fucking head off.
	Like, they're at Norwegian death metal levels of evil.
	And here she is apologizing, 19.
	What has she got to say for herself?
	I said something insanely awful and stupid on Twitter last night.
	The intent does not matter, so I will not attempt to defend or explain it.
	It was racist.
	No, it wasn't.
	It's not racist to call me racist.
	To wish rape upon our children is evil and bizarre, but it's not racist.
	It was racist and has had a racist impact.
	I am terribly sorry to anyone and everyone who read it and who were hurt by it.
	And then, of course, she is caught red-handed not accepting someone else's apology.
	Nice try, you rotted onion of a person.
	Your sickening tweet has gone viral.
	Let's see if your God can save your job.
	Like, can you smell the hate?
	So much anger from these fucking shit chests.
	And it's ironic because it's the feminism and the sort of attitude to casual sex that got her in that position in the first place.
	So her own culture is what destroyed her life.
	I keep telling, and that's the irony of it all.
	I say, ladies, don't come to New York to meet a man.
	It's an elephant's graveyard for ovaries.
	You will become a colostomy bag for some strangers.
	Come.
	They're like, no, I saw sex in the city.
	I'm going to go there, have a career, then meet a hot guy when I'm 40, and then have four kids in the Hamptons.
	No, you're not.
	No, you're not.
	So then they get mad.
	And then finally, this is ancient Chinese secret by now, but we got to put it on the paper of record.
	A big part of this show is it's a time capsule.
	And I want to be able to go back and say, just like the reruns we show on Saturdays now, show you what the climate was like in the spring of 2022.
	It was fucking nuts.
	Abortion was a big deal.
	And this dude climbed 61 floors with nothing.
	Maison des Champs, a pro-life activist, climbed the 61 tower, tower 61 floors Tuesday morning at 9.30 a.m.
	I would say that's bad because you could fall and kill someone.
	I don't really care about you.
	Yeah, not you, but someone.
	Well, as far as the legality of it, you should have the right to do something insane.
	That's true.
	I mean, you can climb a mountain.
	Right?
	My balls are taking.
	He's so move.
	We don't know what his plan is.
	Like to help out, share this around.
	Go to Pro-Life Spots.
	Wait, stop for a second, Ryan.
	Do you have...
	I'm preparing myself to forgive you.
	Now, if I didn't, would you prepare yourself to forgive me?
	Preparing myself to forgive you.
	Can you send me that?
	It's perfect to text people because as a drunk, I say things to people like, go fuck yourself.
	I'll never speak to you again.
	And then I regret it.
	Or sometimes I joke and I say, you're dead to me, but I'm just kidding.
	And then I'm not sure if they took me seriously.
	So that's the perfect thing to send.
	It is sent.
	So yeah, this guy climbed that.
	Let me ask you another question that's totally off topic.
	When you're at the edge of a building and you're looking down, do your testicles do anything?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, I feel that the balls.
	They contract.
	You know what's weird?
	When we were in Costa Rica on a rope bridge, I asked my sons if they have that.
	One of them does.
	The youngest does.
	His big brother, no, nothing happens to my balls.
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	Yeah, I don't like heights at all.
	And we would go out with Hodge all the time and hit balls off this cliff, like golf balls off this cliff.
	And he would like lean over and like, guys, I'm about to fall.
	And it's like, why do you...
	Like, that really does some stuff to your insides.
	You're like, fuck.
	And then I went skydiving and I'm looking out of a plane like 17,000 feet and I felt nothing.
	So it's weird.
	Like, huh?
	You hit a certain threshold and you're like, I'm dead.
	So it doesn't matter.
	Well, you didn't go skydiving.
	I was strapped to a massive.
	The skydiver wore you as a fanny pack.
	I don't like the way that's framed.
	When I was a fanny pack on a plane tied to some man's chest.
	I'm preparing myself to forgive you.
	And also, if I go to crazyshit.com and I look up that 21 people having a worse day than you, don't look at the brutal shit.
	As the motorcyclist hits the truck and does like a quadruple backflip, forward flip, my balls like go zing.
	It's like a very subtle like electrical charge.
	Yeah, electrical.
	Zoom.
	This bitch is apparently this.
	That's not a worse day than me.
	You ever have that five seconds?
	That's stupid.
	That five seconds of your day where you try, like you do something lazy, like you're carrying a bunch of shit, and you're like, I'll carry this extra shit because I don't want to make two trips.
	And then everything just falls to shit.
	You fall, the shit falls, you break a shelf somehow.
	Uh-huh.
	Just by being lazy and not wanting to go the extra step.
	Are you explaining to us the lazy man's burden colloquialism?
	Yes.
	Thank you for that.
	On the roof of a building.
	This is some really soft core.
	I don't want to go to the crazy shit one because there's blood often, isn't there?
	Why are you showing us this stupid YouTuber bitch that's for eight-year-olds?
	Wait.
	Why are you doing that?
	That shouldn't be on your radar.
	My nine-year-old watches her.
	That's the first thing I looked up.
	It was just like 21 people having a worse day than you.
	No, go to crazy shit.com, you fucking idiot.
	Is there going to be blood, though?
	Oh, shut up.
	What a moron.
	He brings up...
	Oh, there's balls everywhere?
	He brings up some fucking little kid site.
	Just click on any one of those 21 things, people having a worse day than you on crazyshit.com.
	I don't know if I can watch it anymore.
	I'm starting to feel like it.
	Oh, I just saw this one.
	She broke her stupid tooth.
	Yeah, so that does nothing to my balls.
	My balls feel fine.
	My balls are fine.
	My balls are great.
	Yeah.
	My balls are pretty good.
	This is where my balls are.
	My balls are don't go off the edge.
	That could not have gone worse.
	Those don't bother me.
	It's these ones, these traffic things.
	How many times have people taken a container of gas and poured it on something and then the gas, the fire crawled up?
	Oh, no, no, no.
	See, now my balls are alive.
	It's not a good feeling.
	What if women have that?
	Do their tits hurt?
	Don't do it.
	Ah, that is a ball.
	Oh, my God.
	That just made my back break.
	Oh, you got to pick up all that shit.
	Yeah, that's the biggest problem is your cauliflower fell.
	Not the fact that you're dead.
	Ouchie.
	Oh, my God.
	That soul and sent it to heaven.
	You know that feeling?
	You ever been in an imminent crash on a not car?
	Like a motor, you know, a motorbike or something?
	Yeah.
	That feeling does hit your balls.
	And I'm thinking maybe that's your reproductive.
	You know when you say when you're hungover, you just want to come so that way your body reproduces before it passes away?
	It could be that your balls are making their final statement.
	The answer is very clear.
	It's not even worth mentioning, but okay, for the other people with ADIQs.
	Oh, that was a cool trick.
	Your balls are obviously contracting because your nature is trying to protect your testicles.
	Right, right.
	So they're getting closer to the body.
	That was a good one.
	That's a little genius.
	Look, it's concussed.
	Okay, let's go.
	We got to show the climber guy.
	Back to what started our balls up.
	It's all going good.
	I just wish I had a little water.
	I can see why a long little bear brings water with him.
	But I just got to troop it out.
	Everything's going good though.
	I got these big fat rests right here.
	I'm just melting.
	It's not like that hard.
	It's maybe like 5'7.
	But it's like physical mantling up over these fins right here.
	Just wish I had water, but it's all good.
	So he just doesn't have a fear glance.
	Like he's missing something.
	Oh.
	Don't do that.
	I don't know if this hasn't occurred to any of them, but don't climb.
	Don't free climb.
	Stop that.
	Stop that.
	That was like Kale Hartman.
	Every time he saw construction going on in the city, he would look up and go, hey, hey!
	And the guys would look down.
	He goes, get down from there.
	What the hell are you doing?
	Get down right now.
	It's really dangerous.
	Down.
	Now.
	Yeah.
	Now.
	That's dangerous.
	Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	What do you think you're doing?
	Yes, yes, he does that.
	All right, let's jump to some racism.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	That's always fun.
	Raskism.
	Fuck.
	I'm a black female.
	What other different...
	What else could I have done to piss you off?
	Black woman?
	This is really interesting.
	Has BTHO beat the hell out?
	Back the hell off, I thought?
	Maybe I'm wrong.
	So I was trying to find this clip on Wednesday with Compound Censored.
	It's impossible to Google, though, but I managed to find it by checking the original source, which is Reddit Cringe.
	Beat the hell out of it.
	Oh, I got you.
	You're wrong.
	You're right.
	But this is blackting, in a nutshell.
	I think a lot of African Americans watch too much television and have watched too much television.
	So when they correspond to people and it's important, they can slip into TV mode.
	And that's what happened here.
	No, no, no, Shanti.
	It's a nerve sweetheart.
	Stop getting changed in my mind.
	Simon, you don't understand.
	I do.
	You don't.
	I do.
	You don't.
	I have fought so hard for this.
	What?
	No, Shanti.
	You're saying a song.
	With the greatest respect, you've taken already two spots in Hollywood.
	It didn't work out then.
	But how was my intonation?
	How was my timing?
	How was my pitch?
	Was anything wrong?
	Okay.
	The problem was you didn't get your voice together.
	You never said there was a problem with my voice.
	What do you need to hear from me?
	It seems the auditions here in New York have taken a melodramatic turn.
	Prepare yourself, for these are the days of our idols.
	I don't know how to say this, but I feel it.
	Ryan, you're doing the same job.
	I cut it out.
	This is my goal in life, to do this to my dad and record it.
	And I know that you know what it's like to struggle with your weight and to struggle with your music.
	What, bitch?
	And I have waited.
	It's true, I love that.
	Worked harder than anybody.
	I have worked retarded than anybody.
	Like, we were with you right until that part.
	I have worked like a retard at this.
	It's retarded how hard I've worked.
	What is that?
	And every time I got more and more encouragement from you, and I've taken it, and I've internalized it, and I have fought harder than this.
	I never thought I was even capable of fighting.
	I understand your position.
	I really, in the depths of my soul, believe that you don't have this right.
	In the depths of my soul, I know.
	If America got a chance, it's the only thing you haven't given me.
	It's the chance for America to view me.
	That's the only thing.
	And if America's told me, people love me.
	Wait, you've been on three different times?
	Yes.
	America saw you.
	That's the problem.
	It ain't easy.
	It ain't me.
	It ain't saying.
	It ain't me.
	Okay, you're in an entertainment line.
	Walk away.
	I'm showing you once you're sorry.
	It's the nut.
	Fuck you.
	It was a pleasure to meet you.
	Fuck you.
	I hate you.
	And before I leave this room.
	Yes?
	Well.
	We'll wait.
	I can do the change I want.
	Wait, you gotta go back.
	Before I leave this room, is there anything I can do to change your mind?
	Yeah, sing a bit and then we'll put you back in.
	If you can sing, maybe we'll think.
	You know what they should have done?
	They should have went do a backflip.
	Ashanti, that was incredible.
	And never before in the history of the show have we been persuaded by a speech like that to give you a second go.
	You're going to Hollywood again.
	And then she goes, oh my God, just kidding.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	I would love that.
	What do you think?
	We're going to change our minds?
	I told you I'm not changing my mind.
	Go.
	Hit the beat.
	You're out of here.
	I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.
	This is a good one.
	If there is anything.
	Wait, go back a little more.
	She goes, before I go.
	I still think you're making a mistake.
	Okay, then leave.
	Before I leave this room.
	If there is anything...
	I can do the change.
	It didn't work.
	You weren't good enough today.
	Get over it.
	It's enough.
	Okay, sorry.
	Thank you.
	I'm out of here.
	Bye.
	You look ridiculous.
	Bye.
	Bye, everybody.
	Bye-bye.
	So I'm feeling upset.
	Okay, so that brings us to, and thank you, baby monsters, for all your fantastic submissions.
	You guys introduced me to that opening song.
	And you introduced me to this.
	I think we covered it a long time ago, but I hadn't checked in on it.
	The Black Lady Sketch Show is so fucking bad.
	Let's check out.
	Let's make it a green screen because it has to be analyzed closely.
	Come on, everybody.
	All right, y'all.
	This racist power structure, this white supremacist system, it puts white males up on a pedestal and pretends they're funny, like John Belushi and Louis C.K., and they're not funny.
	Black women are funnier, or at least as funny.
	So let's use affirmative action to get them a platform.
	And then we can see that they'll be equally represented and it'll be super funny.
	No, that doesn't work.
	Why doesn't it work?
	Because black women aren't funny?
	No, I never said that.
	Affirmative action doesn't belong in anything.
	And especially rare talents like comedy.
	It's like skateboarding.
	Maybe 1% of the population can pull it off.
	So when you insist that 30% of skateboarders are albinos, you're going to have shitty skateboarders.
	Now, before we show this clip, and it fucking is way shittier than you can ever imagine, I want you to show the other clip, Ryan, that I just sent you.
	Now, this is hood comedy.
	It's a black woman.
	She's not been affirmative actioned into this spot, and it's fairly amusing, right?
	So play this, and you can see, I just want to show this first so you don't think I'm saying black women can't do humor.
	This isn't fantastic, but it's not bad.
	I needed somebody that's down for me.
	And he don't have to have money.
	But I do prefer a nigga that would put down a sea.
	But would pick up his drawers off the floor and would take out the trash when he sees that it's the right girl.
	I'm not your mom.
	I'm not your maid boy.
	You're grown.
	But I swear sometimes you act like you still in school.
	And I. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't be screaming at me.
	Okay?
	I'm going to put my drawers up and put the toilet seat down.
	But you ain't got to be screaming at me like that.
	I'm bae.
	I'm not ready to take you to get some tacos.
	Tacos.
	You like tacos, right?
	God damn.
	Who be screaming at me?
	Who are these tacos?
	Okay, baby.
	I'm forgive you on tacos.
	Okay, so.
	Taco.
	That's hood comedy that's not part of affirmative action.
	The overacting is still fucking brutal here.
	And I chose that to say it doesn't all have to suck, right?
	I'm not here to say black women aren't funny.
	I'm sounding too apologetic, but you get my point.
	All right, so here is what affirmative action can do to comedy.
	First of all, we haven't even started.
	Time magazine.
	Like whoever wrote this thinks that people read Time Magazine, a dead magazine that probably has a circulation of like a thousand.
	And then what's their opinion on time?
	Time, your opinion on time should be that it's a radica, become a radically left-wing paper.
	At one point had Hitler on the cover.
	Used to be good.
	And now it's a fucking joke.
	So you could do something with that.
	But for them, news is just like, ah, I don't get news.
	It's all like crazy.
	So they just write bad news or whatever as a joke.
	So this is someone's opinion on news and that it's just too sensationalist, I guess.
	Anyway, we haven't even started and we have a shitty joke out the gate.
	You know me, right?
	Your sister can win an arm wrestling match against Busta Rhymes.
	She can do anything.
	I really hope so, baby, because so the sister run an arm is Busta Rhymes known as Good at Arm Wrestling.
	That's not a joke.
	That's just a pile of words.
	Yeah, that's almost like if you tried to program humor into AI, it would come up with that.
	It's like absurd situation, commonly known figure in the community, sport, win.
	Jamaisha's my only twin sister.
	Mr. and Mrs. Matthews.
	So Jamaisha's WBC was Marlowe.
	Mommy.
	So we gave her an IV of AB negative.
	Mommy?
	Nah, I'm positive.
	I don't know what you mean.
	Look, the only letters I care about is is my twin okay.
	Yo.
	Look at the dude.
	Wait, go full screen on these.
	Look at the dude in it.
	It's like he just fucking smoked crack.
	He is so pumped to act his fucking head off in this sketch.
	Wife is stressing right now.
	Okay, so what do you mean?
	Well, at least she's not ZOA.
	But with her ZOB, do she even have a Z and R?
	Mm-hmm.
	I don't know.
	Nah.
	Nah, we don't know what you mean.
	What are you talking about at all?
	Okay, when I get an EKG, I will give you an Ops ASAP.
	Yeah.
	Okay, good.
	Doctor.
	So that joke is just a big pile of acronyms.
	Okay?
	I mean, you might see that in a 1940s play at a local theater, but it was also half-assed too.
	Like, why would a nurse say, at least she's not DOA, dead on arrival?
	That's not plausible.
	So anyway, this other woman shows up and she's going to also be confusing.
	Look at this dude.
	He's like in fight mode.
	He's all like, yo, we about to fucking throw down.
	Yo.
	Purple suit is wild.
	What is that?
	Is that Kel from Keenan and Kel?
	Oh, no.
	What's that?
	It's an old show on Nickelodeon, and I think that's him.
	Well, they're acting like Nickelodeon.
	This is little kids' shows act.
	And look at her leaning back like this.
	They fuck up the continuity, too.
	So I assume the director is some affirmative action hire.
	Like, this is racist.
	I just need to know if my 20 is going to be okay.
	I mean, she's the peppermint for my pickle.
	So please just use words.
	No more acronyms.
	Okay, well, let me be perfectly clear.
	The abnormal school erotics lack was removed during cardioplegia, avoiding thromboembolism or whatever.
	The fuck?
	I mean, you know, I ain't mean to be all like that.
	You know what I mean?
	Let me say a little bit more polite.
	What the fuck?
	Oh, okay.
	Doctor, my twin and I have a really special twin connection.
	My heart is her heart.
	So whatever happens to her heart, it's going to happen to mine.
	I need to know what to worry about.
	That's not science.
	But let me see.
	Let me see.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, that's arrhythmia, atrial fibrillation, post-operative cognitive that we have no idea what the fuck doctors are saying when we're at the hospital.
	This is racist.
	So far, it's scientific people are confusing, and we are very dramatic when there's something going on.
	This is a KKK sketch.
	And how weird does this fucking bitch look?
	What is with her eyes?
	She's definitely a black dad, white mom.
	Black dad wasn't around, and now she's capitalizing on her blackness, even though it has nothing to do with the way she grew up.
	Like Thomas Moriello and Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys and Barack Obama, and the list goes on and on and on.
	You know, amid her complications.
	Yo, you ain't even making no sense.
	Yo, you vagin right now.
	I say you vagin.
	I'm telling you.
	Oh, baby, stop.
	Oh, my God.
	Just tell me this, my sister.
	So you destroy everything on the counter, and the nurse just continues to do her work.
	That's not a big deal.
	Okay.
	I guess it's become so common that no one gets mad when black people wreck shit.
	Oh no.
	Well, she's being monitored closely or whatever, but with the mortality rate or whatever, and then when you factor in comorbidities or whatever, just wrap that all together or whatever.
	And if you talk about it, and then you live it by mercenaries or whatever.
	Like, uh, you know what I mean?
	Like, eh, whatever.
	Is clean up?
	Fake crying is never funny.
	It's always so obviously fake that it's not amusing.
	Look at them.
	And by the way, why is he so freaked out?
	Shouldn't this character be like the supportive boyfriend?
	Jamaisha's gonna Jamaica because people are supposed to go to Jamaica.
	Wait, go back.
	You gotta hear that line.
	It's so weird.
	Doctor, I just need to know if Jamaisha's gonna Jamaica because people are supposed to go to Jamaica.
	Stop.
	Did you catch that, Ryan?
	Yeah, it was hilarious.
	I don't know if Jamaica, I guess her name is Jamaisha.
	Is gonna Jamaica.
	Is gonna Jamaica because we have plans to go to Jamaica.
	It's funny because they sound the same.
	This is AI.
	This is written by a robot.
	That's just my man.
	He said 143.
	Okay, is there anything on my sister on that pager?
	No.
	Stop.
	Why would, first of all, doctors don't have pages anymore.
	Secondly, if the girls dies, they're just going to page a doctor and go, Jameesha's dead.
	Well, it seems your sister has to come.
	Nah, nah, I wasn't going to say that.
	I wasn't going to say that.
	You thought I'm knocking.
	No, no, I was going to say, um, look over there.
	Oh, whatever.
	He literally hasn't matured in his acting since this.
	Is that him watching himself?
	Yes.
	Kel to Keenan.
	Kel to Keenan.
	Keenan.
	Keenan, come in.
	This is supposed to be a sad moment that actually...
	This is like the last episode type show.
	Come on, Kenan.
	Keenan!
	Is this the Keenan that's on SNL?
	Is that the other guy?
	So he did well.
	And Kel not so much.
	Wow.
	So one of them has dominated SNL for the past 15 years.
	Sad.
	And the other does black lady sketch comedy.
	Wow.
	And he's touched by a scene.
	Yeah, he looks.
	Wow, I really hit it out of the park.
	Wait, go back?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's better than this video.
	Wow, I nailed it.
	Who's cutting onions?
	Who is cutting onions?
	I like the music that's input on top of that.
	Made it even more dramatic.
	Goodness.
	What a fucking absolute weirdo.
	Wait a minute.
	Now I'm going from he just sucks at his job to thinking like he's a mental patient.
	I think he's fucked in the head.
	He's not doing great.
	No, I think he has mental problems.
	Like he acts like someone who has had a head injury.
	Is this a make-a-wish show for him?
	Spines and bones, blood and infidelity.
	Wait, is that it?
	It's trace anatomy.
	I guess there's part of it.
	Wow.
	I don't have time to put the music with the graphic, but you get it.
	Yeah, that's my pitch for my new medical drama, Trace Anatomy.
	Right.
	Wait, we're in a new thing.
	So that's the end of that sketch.
	We don't do this sketch, do there was one funny joke.
	I guess we missed it.
	But she goes, is my twin sister?
	It's her twin sister.
	And she goes, is my twin dead?
	Maybe you could find that?
	Because it's like a pretty funny joke.
	Am I still a twin?
	Yeah, there it is.
	You just passed it.
	My sister alive or not?
	Am I still a twin?
	Am I still a twin?
	I don't know.
	Let me look at you.
	I don't know.
	Good.
	Watch his name.
	That was the only not horrible joke, a funny concept of if your twin dies, you're not a twin anymore.
	You could have fleshed that out.
	That could have been the whole fucking bit.
	But the bit is that she says whatever too much and they run away.
	I think this is great news.
	It's great news when you let affirmative action ruin something.
	I hope basketball is next.
	I hope we start having short, fat guys on the court because it accidentally shows the country why communism is evil, why the free market makes us all better, why meritocracy is a plus.
	Handouts don't work.
	Freebies don't work.
	Don't give someone a sketch comedy show based on their gender and their race because it will suck.
	But the sun comes up.
	I feel bad for that guy now.
	Yeah, me too.
	I feel like I might have to do a deep dive on him.
	Yeah, when I was looking him up, it said exposed, Kel Mitchell, and then exposed.
	I don't know what he was exposed to, but something kept him out of Hollywood.
	Definitely not his acting.
	Maybe he's overacting like that because he sexually assaulted someone or something, and he's desperately trying to maintain some sort of career.
	Oh, he became a pastor.
	That's cool.
	And he was celibate for three years, which in black years is 13 years.
	13 years.
	What's this?
	Goodburger?
	Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.
	Can I take your order?
	Is that him?
	Oh, that's the other guy.
	Man?
	Yeah, he was like kind of a retard in this.
	I mean, it was meant for kids, but he has not changed since the...
	Yeah, that's where he...
	But Keenan Wayans figured out how to be normal.
	And you know what's crazy?
	You know how as a kid, you're influenced by comedy that you see and you wind up absorbing a lot?
	Like I was a little Jim Carrey as a kid or something.
	Like, I don't know what that's from specifically, but when he gets megy, he's like, ah!
	And starts kicking the air and stuff.
	Is that Chris?
	That's like Chris Tucker did that, right?
	Or is there somebody in Living Color or something that...
	I feel really bad about for him.
	Me too.
	Hashtag.
	That's enough racism.
	Let's jump to my pet Biden.
	Our pet Biden.
	Our pet Biden.
	Biden.
	Biden.
	President.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	So Dinesh D'Souza has a new movie out, and it's all about the election and how it was stolen.
	I got to say, I was even starting to doubt myself and going, well, maybe they did get 80 million people.
	Because lefties would go, give me the evidence.
	There's been no evidence.
	And I should have at hand, like Georgia had this, and there was this flip at 3 in the morning and the hockey bag full of votes.
	And I mean, I guess I do have some.
	But I should have a bunch of slam dunk smoking guns at my disposal.
	And by attrition and the lack of smoking guns, they've sort of worn me down.
	And now I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
	Maybe I could go either way.
	Come to Nash TaSouza to save the day and launch this documentary called 2,000 Mules that shows people harvesting votes.
	Now, jump to 3.5 for a second here.
	The left is going, he didn't do anything illegal.
	The writer of this article doesn't know the difference between vote harvesting, which is legal in some states, and paid ballot trafficking, which is illegal in all 50 states.
	So just like with the Dancing Grannies, they pushed this fake narrative that it was a police chase and he just turned right and hit some grannies and it's not a story, which was a lie.
	They're focusing on this to discredit Dinesh.
	And they're saying, no, no, no, no, they were just picking up some votes.
	No.
	You were not accruing votes and delivering them.
	You were paid ballot harvesting.
	That is illegal, which means the election is invalid.
	Now, maybe pull up.
	Is there a trailer for 2,000 mules?
	Because they use cell phone tracking to follow these dudes around and catch them.
	Stealing votes.
	Anyway, while you dig that up, oh, you got it already?
	The 2020 election was the most secure in U.S. history.
	There has been no evidence of widespread voter fraud.
	He lost a fair and secure election.
	The most secure election in American history.
	Really?
	All those of you who volunteered and worked the polls, you deserve a special thanks from the entire nation.
	They get that.
	One mule made 53 trips to 20 drop boxes.
	He's not alone.
	We track 2,000 mules making multiple ballot drops.
	Leaving no fingerprints.
	Snapping photos to get paid.
	A coordinated ring of illegal vote harvesting in all the key states where the election was decided.
	They delivered us a clear victory!
	Game over.
	It's a good time for blackting phases now.
	So anyway, everyone went to Mar-a-Lago for the doohickey, the launch, and Trump was there.
	Everyone I know was there.
	And a friend of mine recorded part of his speech, which is top quality comedy.
	I can't believe I'm saying this for the first time.
	Donald Trump has the sprinkles.
	Oh, my God, does he?
	Just beep, boop.
	He was touring.
	Like when he did his rallies, it was just on the road.
	He's like, I'm going to be at the Washington Stadium.
	It's a great crowd.
	He really is just working out bits.
	He tried to bid out because I watch every single one of them.
	And then he kind of dropped it.
	He's like, that didn't really hit.
	So I got to drop it.
	He's a road dog.
	Him and Tim Dylan have about the same comedy career.
	They're rivals.
	Tim Dylan is your peer.
	I'm not afraid to talk about him now.
	Trans.
	I'm talking about trans.
	And you saw the woman the other day.
	You saw that not so long ago.
	She was a great women's swimmer.
	She was going for the record.
	She was hoping to beat it by one eighth of a second.
	The record stood for approximately 11 years.
	A magnificent athlete.
	She worked so hard and she was going to beat it.
	But then this dude shows up right alongside her.
	This dude shows up right alongside her.
	I've never heard him say dude.
	It's like dropping an F-bomb.
	That was mega cool.
	And he was only an average male swimmer.
	On the male team, he wasn't a very good swimmer.
	He was just right in the middle of the pack they said, with a white mouth.
	So she was trying to beat him by an eighth of a second.
	But he did a little better than that.
	He beat him by 38 seconds.
	And she was injured during that you give her a swimmer.
	He went by her so fast that she suffered a massive windy burn.
	And then the better one was the weightlifting.
	They had a certain record of like 206 pounds.
	They take the barbells and they end it like an eighth of an ounce each.
	She's going to break it.
	She's going to break it.
	And she gets up and she just got Sebastian Maniska level act outs now.
	He's been training with that mimer guy.
	This guy comes up.
	Bingo Bongo.
	They said, did you ever lift before?
	No, it hasn't.
	It's crazy.
	So we have to stop there.
	But what we really have.
	Bingo Bongo.
	That's a drop.
	Oh, yeah, we could do it.
	Bingo Bongo is a new drop.
	That's him lifting the weights.
	Bingo Bongo.
	You ever see that compilation of him with saying bingo or bing bong?
	Bing bong.
	No, that's a big New York street thing.
	Things that go bing with the president.
	Bing, bing.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	I'm sitting there tweeting.
	Bing, bing, bing.
	You press a button.
	Bing, bing.
	They all hand you checks.
	Bing, bing, bing, bing.
	We had our beautiful Marine standing there.
	Bing, bing, bing, bing.
	You know the old days, bing, bong.
	You know, with the map?
	Bing, bing, bing.
	Little mouth on him.
	Bing, bing, bing.
	Bing, bong.
	Fuck your life.
	Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
	Bing, bing, bing.
	They're cleaning up.
	Fix it up.
	Bing, bing, bing.
	14-point plan.
	Bing, bing, bing.
	Anthony Wiener.
	You know the.
	You'll never guess who did this.
	Vice.
	Yes.
	Yeah, I guess that when I saw their logo in the top.
	Oh, I see.
	That's a good guess.
	Yeah, thanks.
	It's so funny.
	It's a New York thing because the subways, when they go to make sure no one gets caught in the doors, it goes bing bong.
	And now it's become New York slang for like, that's the end.
	Like, we're done.
	I'm never fucking her again.
	Bing bong.
	All right, so that's enough of that.
	We got 2,000 meals done.
	This is pretty rare.
	We have a special guest in My Pet Biden.
	Justin Trudeau is doing his first cameo appearance on My Pet Biden.
	This is My Pet Justin doing Bidenism.
	We're really impressed.
	He obviously looks up to the North, I mean the South, and this is him.
	This could easily be Joe Biden.
	And by the way, note after he speaks his bizarre Biden-ism, he almost bumps into the door.
	And stop.
	This all comes by a recent controversy because he said faggot.
	Referring to himself?
	He's the biggest faggot in the world.
	But he was being questioned about something.
	He said, I don't care what these faggots think.
	I think if you are one, you could say it.
	And yeah, it's like the N-word.
	The conservatives in the House demanded he apologize, and they demanded it go on record.
	So it's on record somewhere that Justin said faggot.
	I don't give a fuck if someone swears, but I enjoy seeing these people hoisted on their own retard.
	What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?
	Okay, wow.
	This is like a Jetson Flintstones crossover.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Amazing.
	Amazing.
	I got to watch it again.
	I might have to watch it 30 more times.
	What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?
	You hear the hosers?
	Okay.
	Whoa.
	What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?
	You know what?
	That might be a drop, too.
	You know how they react?
	Like when a kid says a bad word or when a kid's angry, he's like, I've had enough.
	And we're like, whoa.
	Yeah, that's angry.
	He's a bratty kid who's in a bad mood.
	I just stumbled across a really devastating looking website trying to look for his transcript of saying the F-word.
	This is the headline.
	The Daily Rake.
	That looks evil.
	That looks pretty racist.
	Breaking heroic faggot Justin Trudeau bravely hides like a little bitch in the face of the Hunka Cost.
	This looks like a wild sight.
	Okay.
	Beware.
	Watch out for that one.
	All right.
	So now we can finally introduce Joe Biden into his own segment.
	Here he is talking about your dreams and what you can do.
	You and your colleagues.
	Let's restart this.
	You and your colleagues couldn't have done what you think your dreams and your dreams are that what your dreams are going to be with your dreams.
	You're going to make it.
	You could do anything you want to do.
	Is that your guess?
	I've seen this before, obviously.
	That's basically what it is.
	Colleagues couldn't have done...
	If you had opportunities looking back on it, probably one of you.
	You could have done anything.
	Almost anything with your crews.
	They're so talented.
	You want him to do you so much you could do anything?
	Oh my dear.
	It's exactly the same.
	This is way closer than last night's Amber Heard with fucking Mr. Ripley.
	My only problem with that is that I think it's ordered incorrectly.
	It should be that little kid saying something, and then he's the reference of the temple strikes again.
	They always do the second.
	I know, it's a joke.
	It's saying like this is the epitome of fucking up speech, so it should be the meme.
	Oh, I see.
	If you had opportunities looking back on it, probably one of you.
	You could have done anything.
	Almost anything with your crews.
	You're so talented.
	That's awesome.
	All right.
	I think it's time to get to the fucking mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	This is from another guy named Gavin.
	That's supposed to be a big deal, right?
	It's a big deal.
	It's a big deal when you find someone with the same name.
	What's up, Gavin, Shitty Buttheart, and Jackie Rivera?
	I know you don't want to look at Amber Heard and Johnny Depp anymore, but this looks exactly like Amber Heard is doing a bump of Coke on the stand.
	Okay, this I'd just like to say in advance, this will not look like she's doing a bump of Coke on the stand.
	Hello?
	It's called Urgent Read.
	It was sent in here at 1 p.m.
	Gotcha.
	Oh, it had a different color flag.
	Yeah, that's because I'm already treating it as used.
	Speaking of treated as used.
	No, dumbass.
	No.
	Spilly got a bunch of snot in her nose, and she doesn't want to go...
	So she put the tissue in there to absorb the snot.
	More Lara Logan tits.
	Last night at the bar, I was saying, I don't blame those Arabs for raping her.
	Did we show the pic?
	That's a joke.
	Did we show the pic of Kyle Rittenhouse?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Did you see the interview with Eric Bowling when she had her tits popping out and realizes after a minute of the camera being on her?
	Eric Bowling's reaction is awesome.
	This was before the Rittenhouse picture.
	I had no idea she was packing those cans.
	Look at those things.
	Let's bring in my esteemed colleague, Laura Logan, a journalist who has been covering the border story for years.
	Laura, thank you for joining.
	Great to have you on the show for the first time.
	You know, we saw 211.
	Is that where it ended?
	Yeah.
	The shit going on in his mind must be pretty insane.
	Hello there, Donald Sutherland with AIDS and Jesse Lee Peterson.
	When the mainstream media switched the spotlight from UK to abortion, I brought up the same point to you, Mr. Gavin McInnes, made on GOML Live, that Roe lied and was paid to do so.
	It seems the opposite is true now, and I look like an asshole.
	Roe was paid off to be pro-life.
	What?
	Roe v.
	Wade, woman behind the U.S. abortion ruling, was paid to recant.
	So first she was paid to be the face of the pro-choice movement, and then she was paid to be the face of the pro-life movement.
	This bitch is anyone's dog for a bone.
	The woman behind the 1973 ruling legislating abortion in the U.S. is seen admitting a new documentary that is stunning change of heart on the issue was later all enact.
	Norma McCorvey says in her deathbed confession, as she calls it, a visibly ailing McCorvey says, she only became an anti-abortion activist because she was paid by evangelical groups.
	I was the big fish, she said.
	I think it was a mutual thing.
	I took their money and they'd put me out in front of the cameras and tell me what to say.
	Holy shit.
	That's amazing.
	Amazing.
	Beer and a half month.
	Gavin Low T. I notice how Gav would always say that subscribing to censor.tv costs a beer and a half.
	What kind of logic is this?
	Do beers cost $6.66 where you're from?
	Well, beer prices vary, sir.
	Sometimes they're...
	At Grand Central Station, they're $9.
	At most Legions, they're $3 or $4.
	Outside of the city, your average dive bar, a can of buds, $5.
	So it's two beers a month.
	I thought you might enjoy laughing at these hideous creatures competing in a dress-up competition called the Pop Life Ball.
	The trannies, cross-dressers, wear terrible homemade outfits, attempt to dance, and get judged by a panel of horny losers making up criteria as they go.
	The entire video is ridiculousness.
	Drop the needle anywhere and you're guaranteed to have a good laugh.
	The description of the event is the ultimate pop star.
	With your look inspired by a pop star of your choosing, entertain the judges with moves that set you apart from the rest until you are the last pop star standing.
	Drop the ball here.
	Oh, this is the Voguing homos.
	I don't think this guy's heard of Voguan.
	Yeah, that's what's going on.
	This guy's never heard of Voguing.
	You can tell I didn't screen the emails this time.
	This looks like it's in a third world country.
	All right.
	Interesting.
	I'm sure I'm the 10,000th person to bitch about this today, but the new hot fix made it so my audio won't continue to play if I shut my screen off.
	Huh.
	Hmm.
	Switch it back, or I'll kill you.
	Okay.
	That's mean.
	Did the feminists just reinvent marriage in strict chastity before marriage?
	International Gavin and Rice Aranyi.
	This is a screenshot from 2X Chromosomes, a feminist subreddit.
	They're slowly rebuilding chastity and marriage inadvertently.
	This is meant to be some anti-abortion thing, but isn't it fundamentally marriage with strict chastity before marriage?
	And then they go, the cost of raising a child is estimated to be $272,000.
	$272,000.
	I propose that all men in states that restrict women's access to abortion be required to purchase liability insurance or put up some sort of a bond before they allow to have sex with a woman.
	Yeah, there should be a ceremony, too.
	Don't you think?
	And at the ceremony, woman should dress up in like a nice, I don't know, big white dress.
	And the man should have a tuxedo, and they should exchange some kind of jewelry.
	Something to like show that you're permanently...
	Yeah, yeah, like a necklace.
	Or a bracelet or something.
	Oh, earrings fall off.
	Necklaces could get a watch?
	On your finger.
	You could put a ring on your finger.
	Yeah, okay.
	Because it stays there more.
	Yeah, men wear rings.
	Yeah.
	Make it gold or something.
	Something valuable.
	I cannot stop thinking about this, he says.
	I'm sorry, I had to jump a few.
	Can a dad sees another dad?
	He knows it is his favorite spot.
	This is Sprinkles is the subject of the doctrine.
	Now I'm on board.
	She's loading up.
	I've seen these guys before.
	They work really hard on their sketches.
	Are these guys overacting as much as the black dudes?
	I guess they'll let anybody in here.
	Mine is, oh, I didn't know this was a fag bar.
	And then they'll say, yeah, that's why you're in here.
	You see the one where the dad gives his son the old man clothes?
	And he finally becomes a dad, like wearing the dad shoes and the shorts.
	That's a good one.
	I know a guy, Big John, we call him.
	He wears those Reeboks and he doesn't have a kid.
	I go, this is stolen valor, dude.
	You can't wear cargo shorts with white socks and a belt and a polo and those white Reeboks if you're not a dad.
	I found it.
	Feels like you're watching an A24 film.
	Dude, your internet is ruining the show.
	It's not.
	It's.
	I'm looking at it.
	Stutter 2.
	Hey, Ryan, this is stuttering.
	No.
	I'm looking at it.
	Stutter 2.
	We're the Nike monarchs.
	Listen tight.
	Take your hair back.
	Can't wait to mow my lawn one day.
	It's awesome.
	I bet.
	Thermostats, a big deal.
	I want to be out of touch.
	I know a place better than Home Depot.
	Lowe's?
	No, it's a local hardware store.
	Tractor supply down south.
	That shit slaps.
	You can get a cowboy hat there.
	That's so pleasant to watch.
	Open heart surgery for my son.
	I called in last night to talk about Larry Barnes and asked for a prayer for my son.
	I thought I could give you some more information.
	It's just a bummer to talk about.
	His name is Lincoln and he's yet to be born.
	His due date is July 2nd.
	He has a hole in his heart and problems with his top two valves.
	If we hadn't found it, he'd be fine for a couple days after birth, then he would go blue and die.
	A day or so after his birth, he'll have open heart surgery and be in recovery for a couple weeks.
	One of the bad things for us is we live in Key West, Florida, and everything's going to happen three hours away from Miami.
	So I have to be away from my job so I can care for my daughter, who is a year and a half, my wife, after she gives birth.
	So I'll be out of work for a little while.
	I don't like to ask for money, but I'm attaching a GoFundMe.
	Much prayer is needed.
	Okay.
	Man, ask for money.
	If you search that title, Appell Family and Baby Lincoln, it comes right up.
	Okay.
	So you can do that.
	What's up, guys?
	I was scrolling on TikTok and I found this video I edited for a video drop.
	The way he says you're a fucking retard killed me.
	I'm using talk to text because I'm driving, so don't break my balls for my grammar, Gavin.
	I don't believe you.
	I think you have shitty grammar and you just say you're doing talk to text to hide it.
	You're a fucking retard.
	You're a fucking retard.
	That's pretty good.
	Okay.
	Hey, homos, this back alley abortion lie is so stupid.
	The year before Roe v.
	Wade, 39 women died from back alley abortions and 24 from legal abortions.
	Like you guys said, if someone wants one, they can just travel to a blue state.
	But also, these baby killing doctors will be setting up pretty sophisticated abortion rooms in their basement.
	This is a winning issue for us.
	We, as a culture, have become desensitized to abortion.
	And the more it's in the headlines, the more people will see how disgusting of a practice it is.
	Even if it hurts the right, it's the hill to die on to have more kids like my son, born in January, walking this earth.
	I like your new sunglasses.
	Look at that funny little guy.
	He's a cutie Magooty.
	Doyle made this point.
	Wait, you're telling me that if Roe v.
	Wade is overturned, whores are going to have to have dangerous back alley abortions that could kill them.
	You're telling me that women who want to kill their babies might die?
	Based.
	Hmm.
	A little black pilled.
	Good one.
	All right.
	Let's get to the final video.
	Someone wrote in saying they hate those two songs, the mailbag song and the final video song.
	I'm amazed at their longevity.
	We call them the exceptions of the rule.
	I love both of them just as much as I did the very first day.
	They're a crucial part of the show.
	I love them even more every day, so I'm better.
	Has your dad ever heard the mail song?
	I don't think so, but I also don't doubt it.
	I feel like somebody maybe he works with or something or somebody brought it up to him.
	Does he think there's something wrong with that?
	I can only speculate that yes.
	When are you going to see your dad again?
	Good cue.
	Well, we want to go to California, so the baby has to be a little older for that.
	So maybe this summer?
	He can't come see his own fucking grandson?
	He's busy.
	Oh, okay.
	Japanese busy sansing.
	So look at this gigantic, what do they call it?
	A pit, a hole, pit, doohickey.
	It's a sinkhole.
	So this is one of the biggest sinkholes in American history.
	It goes down like 600 feet.
	And they didn't have time to put up any boundaries.
	And this guy goes and checks it out.
	Holy fuck, bro.
	I almost just went in this on-ramp.
	There's no signs blocking it off.
	And I thought I was fucking high.
	That's just a pit on the on-ramp.
	Someone's gonna die.
	What the fuck?
	They don't have this shit blocked off or nothing.
	He should park sideways to stop.
	Watch, this guy's coming.
	There's a guy coming behind me.
	Hey, yo.
	Ayo.
	Yeah.
	Oh, is he gonna fucking go?
	I would be worried about the sinkhole expanding.
	Holy shit.
	Oh, it's water.
	I am high.
	That's enough.
	Ah, good stuff.
	All right, folks, it's the weekend.
	Try to get off your phone.
	I'm just as guilty as you, by the way.
	I'm no saint.
	I look at it way too often.
	GPS, fine.
	Podcast in the background, I guess, if your kids aren't around.
	But we need to get off our phones more.
	They talk about microchips in our hands.
	We are holding a microchip in our hand.
	How do we catch those 2,000 mules with their phones?
	They're monitoring us.
	We're totally available to everyone.
	How about next time you're in your car?
	Don't have the radio on.
	Don't have your phone on.
	Just use the time to think.
	We're not coming up with new thoughts, new ideas.
	You know why we come up with some of our best stuff when we're just falling asleep or just waking up?
	Because it's the only time we don't have our fucking phones.
	And it's not boding well for kids.
	Kids are not experiencing ups and downs the way they should.
	They should be in love.
	They should be crushed if the boy or the girl doesn't like him or her.
	They should be going through all that shit.
	But we're denying our existence here.
	And someone else is controlling our thoughts and our feelings and our ups and our downs.
	That's not acceptable.
	We want to get out there and experience life.
	Stare at your kid.
	Look at your wife.
	Talk to people.
	When you're at the bar, talk to the guy next to you.
	Say, this weather really sucks, huh?
	Get into a political.
	You know, they say we can't argue politically anymore.
	I can.
	I go to bars.
	I'm civil.
	I just say I'm a big Trump guy.
	You throw them a few bones.
	Like, you go, yeah, he is obnoxious.
	Oh, the tweets were embarrassing.
	Throw them a few bones so they know we're not going to get into a fist fight.
	And you have an interesting discussion with them, especially old people.
	Ask them about their cars when they had a fucking, I don't know, a MG back in 1971 or something like that.
	A 57 Chevy or some cool shit.
	And that makes you a better person because you've experienced more life.
	We're going to be in our deathbeds and go, I was on my fucking phone all the time scrolling through TikTok or Instagram reels or simping on some hot chick or reading the inane, ridiculous political opinions of the losers who are still allowed on Twitter.
	You don't need that in your life.
	You need to grow and to experience what's around you.
	Go out tonight.
	Go out alone.
	Go sit at a bar alone.
	You'll meet someone there.
	Have a discussion.
	Get to know them.
	Now you've experienced a little bit of their life.
	Now their time driving a taxi for the mob is sort of your time.
	You kind of drove a taxi for the mob now.
	You've experienced that.
	You lived in Chile for 14 years after you talked to the guy who did that because he was working on a mine.
	You know what I mean?
	Get out there.
	Get laid.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	The sun goes down when I'm telling you.
	But the sun comes up when it comes to the sun.

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