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April 29, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:20:00
S4E109 - THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH
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Time Text
Falling asleep in the night.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McKinnon.
Delight in the pain.
Keep washing the dust off your neck.
Now put my name down on the check.
But why go out alone, lighting the streets?
Stay in my heart.
Let me join you across every ocean to show my devotion.
Didn't stop the track to look back and look guys with me.
Now you're dipping your toe, flipping points on the side.
See that was some fag singing a gay song?
Meticen, devotion.
This is the state of males today.
Look at this guy.
Go back.
Let's hear some more of him.
This is what they advocate.
This is what they encourage.
Oh my God.
Revolting.
Whoa, whoa.
I got so horny.
I dropped my pen.
So, welcome to the show.
It's our new Friday show.
You may notice I have a high-viz shirt on.
This is my new thing.
I'm pushing this on my son.
I go, look, we live in a wealthy neighborhood.
They're all snobs at your school, and they're obsessed with eugenics.
They pretend they're not.
But the only reason they care about getting their kids to NYU and all these Ivy League schools, education has zero to do with it.
It's eugenics.
They want them to meet another rich white person.
They're Jewish.
They want it to be Jewish.
They want to keep it in the family.
They want to keep the genes going.
At the same time, pretending they love multiculturalism and diversity.
That's all a lie.
So I go, look, you're good at starting trends.
He started this whole trend at his grade school before junior high where he would bring a wiffleball bat to school because you're allowed to play wiffle ball.
But he would jack it and he would open the top and then put in rolled-up newspapers and cram them in there until it was almost as heavy as a wood bat.
And then all the kids started having these bootleg bats.
And you drive by the school and you just see like 30 boys with these bats that have been taped up.
The McInneses were born leaders.
And I go, this is a new thing, dude.
Start wearing high-viz shirts because it's going to drive the parents insane and they won't be able to articulate why.
If you wear high-viz, orange or green, you look working class.
And that is everybody in Westchester's worst fucking nightmare.
Their son getting a trade, suicide.
He's going to marry a barmaid and our whole gene pool has been polluted.
So it's just a color, but it's a major rebellion, my friend.
Please do it.
So I want to propose something.
I got to get a bunch of High-Viz shirts.
I bought this off a guy that was fixing my bathroom this morning.
I go, can I buy that off you?
I'll give you like 40 bucks.
And he goes, they give these to me free.
He was so confused.
And he's kind of Mexican-esque, very tall, though.
Maybe that's the different, maybe that's Dominican.
But I go, okay, well, if it's like a thing that's important to you, I tried to buy a Kellogg's baseball hat at a truck stop once from a trucker.
And he's like, no, no, these are hard to get.
You've got to drive for 20 years to get these.
I was like, okay.
It's Obedal.
It's a trophy.
I got you.
So I backed off.
And then later he comes and it's all folded up.
It reeks, by the way, of fucking cologne.
These fucking Hispanics.
And he goes, I have another one of these.
Here, take it, take it.
And I go, I'll give you the money.
No, no, no, no, don't worry about it.
I got it for free.
And look how cool the back is.
Can you see that?
Yeah.
Like boxing gloves.
Bongino construction injury lawyer.
So here's the deal.
We are making high-viz shirts.
I'm on it right now.
I sent you the designs, Ryan.
Do you think that I said to the cartoonist, please make the depiction of Ryan on the front as racist as possible?
That's pretty good.
So that's the most racist he can go.
He's a Mexican who drew that, so they're not comfortable being racist.
He's got my earring in the wrong ear, the gay ear.
Yeah, because you come from the fag zone.
I don't.
Why is there a mouse on your head?
I don't understand it.
Is that like ratitude?
I don't remember ever saying.
Oh, maybe, yeah.
Have you ever had a mouse on your head?
I've never had a mouse on my head.
I've never had a mouse on my head.
Me neither.
Nor have we ever mentioned it.
You just said, I said, have you ever had a mouse on your head?
You said no.
And I said, I've never...
I never had a mouse on my head.
And then you go, me neither.
We already covered you.
Okay.
Just want to make damn sure everybody knows.
When I came into the gym this morning, I had my motorcycle helmet on.
And Larry goes, can you kind of see me through the visor?
It's tinted.
And he's like, oh, I thought that was you.
And then when I took my hat off, and he goes, but it was you.
And then he goes, you're going six rounds today.
When you're sparring, you're going six rounds.
And I go, who, me?
Because my record is three.
And he goes, no, not you.
Not me.
You.
Like, is he a genius or a retard?
I don't know.
I thought that was you, but it's you.
Anyway.
So here's the deal, folks.
Pull up the whole high-viz shirt, Ryan.
We're going to make it an orange.
I might be able to do long sleeve.
I'm not sure.
That's the orange one.
It's got me on the back.
That's our actual call-in number.
They're both so sick.
You got to get both.
Maybe.
I have two high-viz shirts of my own.
I love my high-viz shirt.
And when you wear it around like wealthy areas or even in New York City, it says a lot.
It's very weird.
It's a very us and them thing.
It totally separates you from the middle classes and the upper classes.
They don't see you anymore.
They respect you because you're working hard.
It's not like they see you as a scumbag, but you're just like...
You realize there really is a class system in America.
They totally deny it, and we always think of it as a British thing, but it exists, and I love fucking with it.
So anyway, please send me a large.
They have to pay four different models for the shirt.
Unless that guy's got the weirdest haircut ever.
So put up, can you make a card for this address, Ryan?
Mark that down.
So send it to Compound Media.
Say Gavin McInnes, care of Compound Media, and then that's 213 West 35th Street, 10001, New York.
And you send me a large of your High-Viz company, and I'll send you a free High-Viz GOML shirt.
Specify whether you want high-viz green or high-vis orange.
And we'll do a trade.
You send me a high-vis, I'll send you a High-Viz.
Deal.
And I don't care if it has paint on it and shit.
But I prefer not.
Also in the news, my MetSpet.
See, this is why I did this Metz bet, because the mathematics of it is interesting.
They're getting more and more popular.
They're number one in the whole league, right?
Forget baseball.
I know you don't all love it.
But as they get more popular, they become the favorite.
The more the favorite they are, the less of the payout.
So though I'm on a crazy winning streak of 14, you'd think this is what's 14?
You'd think I'd have 800 bucks by now.
$1,400 minus $600.
But I only have $655 because they're getting more and more popular.
So as the season goes on, even if my wins improve, my money's not going to proportionately improve.
And then as they get worse, they'll become less popular and my wins will be worth more again.
This is why I wanted to do every single game.
See what happened.
But yes, this is important here.
Ryan, you're one of the dumbest people I've ever met.
So I'm going to give you this mind puzzle.
Great.
And you'll see if you can handle it.
Ready?
What's 8 plus 5?
That would be 13.
Okay.
Number two.
There's a barber shop below our gym.
There's two guys that work there.
The owner who has hair.
Yes.
Fuck you.
And then his simple-minded brother who fucks some woman in the parking lot, a married woman, every month.
Wow.
They have a deal.
They're all Armenians.
Shaloo, we've got a deal.
My buddy has two sons, right?
But one of them is a hermaphrodite.
So it's two penises, one vagina.
Gotcha.
No, I'm just kidding.
He has two sons.
They're perfectly normal.
And the mom says they're divorced.
I'm not a fan of the mom, Puerto Rican.
We know how they are.
The mom says, okay, you go get him a haircut, but make sure that you only get the bald guy.
The guy with the head, he always fuck up our kids' hair.
Which is not true.
I've had haircuts from both guys.
They're fine.
So he goes, he says to me, I got kind of a Seinfeld problem here.
Okay, what do you got?
I love problems.
But I don't have the answer to this one.
My two boys are going to go get their haircut.
My wife said, my ex-wife is adamant that we only go to the bald guy.
And if I do anything wrong, she's going to wrap, their kids will wrap me out and it'll be a big issue.
I don't want to get into it.
So what do I do?
And I go, first I go, well, you got to go there when the guy with the hair, the owner, is already busy with the client.
Right.
But how do you know that?
And it's a big, big window at this barber shop.
So you can see someone go, oh, fuck, and leave.
He'd have to walk by and just sort of glance in and keep walking.
So if that guy is busy, the guy with the hair, then you bring in the kid.
But you better hope that the bald guy finishes the first kid before the guy with the hair is done.
Or he's going to say, come here, come here.
Right.
So I think the and then he goes, well, why don't I just go there with my two sons?
And even if they're both available, I'll say, we're going to both be the bald guy for both.
Yeah, why not?
I don't think you understand male culture.
I have an idea.
So you scope out the best.
I have an idea.
Why don't you get your hair out of your face, you teenage maul goth?
I just got back from Doomerfest.
I'm feeling a little doomy as all.
So you go in.
It was like a week ago.
Still.
You go in and you see if he's busy.
And if the guy is not busy, the guy you don't want, then you come in and you're like, are you guys going to be free a little later today?
We can't do it now, but we're just checking to see if we could make an appointment.
That's terrible.
Already out of the gate terrible.
I already solved that portion of the problem.
You just walk by and you look in and keep walking.
You don't peek in.
That's a tiny, tiny part of the problem.
The problem is you make your way all the way over there.
He lives in Yonkers.
You make your way over there.
It's like 15, 20 minutes.
You get there.
They're both like this.
Now, if you go into that barber shop and you say, I want both boys to do, your brother to do both my boys, while you sit there, that's a massive fuck you.
You're saying, hey, you, owner of this barber shop, guy who taught your brother how to cut hair, you suck.
So I would think you just tell your wife to fuck off.
What's she going to do?
Divorce you?
She's your ex.
I have another idea.
I have another idea.
Okay.
Two separate visits.
Oh, no, this has got to be done by tomorrow.
I was going to say, go two separate visits.
Okay, what's your idea?
Okay, mine is the dad sacrifices his hair and but I thought of that.
It's too expensive.
He's divorced.
50% of his salary goes to the wife.
So now you just added another 25 bucks.
Frig.
Do you have the answer for it?
Or we're still brainstorming?
It's got to happen tomorrow.
So one idea I had was: okay, you take one boy there, then you go and get a slice of pizza with the other boy.
Right?
And then you come back right as he's done the first boy.
You have to time that exquisitely.
A, like the second the last snip is done, you have to come in with your boy, or else the guy with the hair is going to go, I'll take your son.
Right.
So that's not going to work.
And also, say you show up, right?
And they're both available.
You still have to go, all right, let's do you again, Baldy.
And the guy who owns the barbershop's like, what?
Do they want the hair?
And then the guy with the barbershop is going to go, why'd you go get pizza with one kid?
What the fuck?
What if you say they want the exact same haircut?
And the only way really to do that is to get bald guy.
A man who's been cutting hair for 30 years can handle a child's haircut.
Is there something he offers that the other guy doesn't?
What are you talking about?
Like zipping?
Like doing like a hair zip?
Yeah, the other guy, the guy who taught his brother how to be a barber taught him so well that he can do things that the original guy can't even do.
I'm going to call him.
Oh, you know what would be funny if I called the barbershop and said, if this guy shows up, he doesn't want you to do his hair because he thinks you're racist.
Oh, that's a good one.
All right, let's see.
What's up, Gavin?
Hey, man, you're live on the air.
Don't worry, you're still anonymous.
We're trying to figure out what to do about this barbershop.
You know what?
I don't know.
I think I'm just going to go take the one boy in.
And then when the other guy says, have your other son come here, I'm just going to say, no, I can't do it.
Holy shit, are you crazy?
Totally.
That, you just...
But why are you going with your ex-wife over the barber?
Because it's going to.
Cause problems?
I'm going to lie about it.
Then my boy's going to give me up.
No, but why don't you just...
Because she's wrong.
I've had haircuts from both those guys.
It's the same haircut.
The bald guy's not better.
He's way better.
What are you talking about?
Way better?
Where do you think Baldy learned how to cut hair?
Himself.
That's why he's always bald.
And he does it more because his brother's always out of the shop doing other things now.
All right.
Well, let me know how it goes.
But you are treading on some fucking dangerous territory.
I am.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to do it.
Well.
All right.
Yeah, I'm going for it.
I'll see you.
Got another idea.
That's such a fuck you.
I would be mortified if I owned a barber shop and people were not wanting me to cut their kids.
And it's a kid.
Who cares?
I've got two ideas.
Okay.
One of them, you kiss the hair barber's ass and you're like, listen, I know your brother.
You're still teaching him, right?
He learned everything from you.
We're going to give him some business because I know you're probably, everybody wants you.
We're going to make him feel better.
And then he goes, we both own the shop.
I don't.
You taught him.
Everybody goes to you.
I want to make him feel better about himself.
You don't pay the barber.
Where do you live?
You pay the barber shop.
They go to the till.
No, no, no.
Make him feel good.
You'd be like, I just want to make him feel good about himself.
Everybody wants you all the time.
They're like, oh, let's get it.
So the tip, the $5 tip, you're talking about.
I'm talking about just the service, like the same thing we're trying to avoid, which is hurting people's feelings.
Be like, listen, I'm going to go with bald guy for both of my sisters.
Then he'll say, he's like, I'm just sitting here.
I'll cut his hair.
I'll give him the tip.
You give him the tip.
I don't care.
It'll make it feel better if we get both of his hair.
Plus, this barbershop is tiny.
So Baldi's hearing everything.
I don't know if you think we're getting our hair cut at Madison Square Garden.
At a black barbershop.
It's loud.
You got to scream.
Here's another idea.
You say, I'm filming a video.
I want to see if you can cut two of my boys' hair at the same time, Baldy.
That's also amazing.
You are gifted.
It's going to go viral with idiocy.
That's fantastic.
No, but we have new information now.
This gentleman thinks that it's true that Baldi does cut hair better.
In that case, the insult is justified, and now it's totally different.
Now it's like, I'm getting Baldy to cut both hairs.
Sorry if that hurts your feelings, but that's the way I feel.
That I don't mind as much.
So now it's a brutal insult that's devastating, but deserved.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to fuck Lena Dunham.
It's very mean that someone this ugly and old would reject you, but it's the truth, so I don't care.
All right, we've solved that.
Someone told me I was on Come Town?
Oh, yes, The Come Town Show.
What is that again?
It's Nick Mullen.
It's Stavros, and it's...
Oh, so those are the guys.
They're very politically incorrect, right?
Lots of cum and nigger and shit and tits and kind.
They're always finding fun ways to say the n-word and stuff like that.
It's a funny show.
I went through like a phase of it where I was like listening to basically only this for like two months.
I like the guy missing his tooth.
I've watched his stand-up.
He's Nick Mullen.
I've had him on the show before.
He's good.
Now, Adam is the one that makes a statement about you that's not so savory, but Adam is a bug.
He's an actual insect.
It's been proven.
So I wouldn't be too hurt about it.
I don't get your joke.
He's a bug.
He's an insect.
Look at him.
Okay.
So here they are talking about how somebody was canceled because they were on your show.
Friends with anyone that works at the stand or whatever.
Scott Chaplin got fucking canceled for having gone on a compound media show.
Oh, he went on Gavin McGinnis.
Because the booker, the guy who books the stand, like, was just asking people to go on there because he was booking Gavin McGuinness.
You didn't know who Gavin was.
No one knew.
And I suppose you do whatever you can.
Yeah, you're a comic.
You're making zero dollars.
You're like, yeah, I'll do the Nazi power hour.
Comedy Central took the roast away from him because of that.
They were like, oh, we can in good conscience.
Very funny comedian.
Which it's like, I wish I could know the names of the people that made that decision at Comedy Central and then figure out a way to hurt those people.
Not physically, but make sure that just what kind of two-faced spinelessness it takes to fucking like a guy that's worked for 10 years on something, to take that away from him because it's the one year in your entire life where you're pretending you have some kind of professional morality.
Oh, when you became in good control not if you went on, not if you went on Gavin's show.
Yeah.
He was just like the guy that sold vice.
It was like before he became a Nazi, right?
Yeah, I mean, he was like a misogynist or whatever.
But like, who the fuck cares?
I like how I'm a Nazi.
It's just a normal fact.
I wonder if he's saying it facetiously, like, before he came a Nazi, like, in the eyes of the public or whatever, because I don't know if he cares either way.
I've heard them bring you up before, and it was copacetic, you know?
But isn't that crazy?
Because that guy was on my show a million years ago, and it was for a second.
When I first started doing Compound, I would have like four comedians on an episode.
And then I said, stop, because they're all pussies, and they're not funny, and they're so paranoid about saying the wrong thing that they made for terrible guests, minus with a few exceptions.
You know, their own audience, like that picture of Nick right there is him at like a commercial, like a pretty big commercial.
He's going to get paid a lot of money for it.
And they pulled him out of it and they canceled it because his fans, the fans of his own podcast, like notified them that he said off-color shit or whatever.
Very terrible.
I hate that.
It's terrible.
It's so fucked up.
But it happens to everyone.
I had a lawyer that I worked with a while ago say that his Jewish friends found out that he had done some work for me years ago and they X'd him and they don't want to hear any explanation.
They're done.
And he's a liberal.
And then they had a sales guy reach out who worked with us back when we were free speech.tv.
He said he's unemployable now because when you Google him and do a deep dive, you see that he worked for us.
Like he did a mail out.
I hated his guts.
The mail that he did for us, he spelled censored wrong.
When we first changed the name from Free Speech to Censored, he put out a big mass email before I was canceled from that.
And he spelled censored wrong.
How did he spell it?
I think he spelled it C-E-N-C-O-R-E-D.
Anyway, he wants to sue me because I've ruined his life.
Wow.
And I'm like, I don't understand your legal case, sir.
Like, David Cross, jackass, does everyone I've ever hung out with get to sue me?
What about Jennifer Aniston?
Wouldn't he sue me?
It seems like he would be on your side of the case.
It's you guys versus the world who cancels people over you.
You're on the same side.
The world is canceling him because of you.
Yeah, but that's not how people think.
Even my wife is guilty of thinking, what have you done as opposed to fuck these people?
Nothing.
It's crazy.
All right, let's start the show.
Yeah.
So it comes from this side?
No, it comes from that side.
I can't believe I'm still on cameo that I'm allowed to exist on there.
Well, let's complain.
No.
It's so badass to go like this.
That felt cool.
Especially in pictures.
Or this is really crazy.
If someone's taking a picture and you go, damn.
Okay.
You're cool.
You're a badass if you give the finger in a picture.
Dude.
Fucking call Mikey.
Dude, big news.
Big fucking news.
Big sister is watching you.
This is insane.
So around the same time, Elon bought Twitter.
And pull up that chart I love.
Oh, yes.
The left feels threatened now because they may not have a complete monopoly on Twitter.
Twitter is 96% left, right?
Look at all of this shit.
This is the internet.
This is the world we're living in now.
This is big tech.
It's all blue with a few little drops of red blood on the right.
But because Twitter may go all the way up to 50, again, even if Elon brings this blue and red line to 50, which he won't, it'll still be a very leftist platform.
So let's say he might bring it to here, right?
This might all be red.
Even if he does that, we're still in an ocean of blue, boys and girls.
You're still winning, but no, they can't relinquish the slightest bit of power.
So to counteract it, the DNC, the American government has hired a minister of information.
And it's a stupid bitch.
Just to be safe.
Her name is Janky, Nina Jankowicz.
And this is just fucking, I don't even know where to begin with her.
She was, she's a typical DNC shill.
She was outraged that people thought the Hunter Biden laptop was real.
She is pro-Trump dossier.
She's pro-Christopher Steele.
She rolls her eyes to this day at the concept of a laptop.
That's just a Trump bullshit thing.
Check out this.
Where's that tweet I had?
Look at 1.4.
This is her mindset, okay?
What this is about is we have to gauge the internet.
We have to control the American conversation because we're scared of domestic terrorism.
And that is, of course, you, me, the rice ball.
That is their biggest fear.
So the goal of this is to make January 6th into 9-11 and to trivialize black extremism, Mexican crime, BLM, Antifa, radical left.
You minimize all those and you grab the granny who meandered into the Capitol and you make her into fucking Adolf Hitler, which is ironic because Hitler had a minister of information.
It's in George Orwell's 1984.
The ministry of Truth.
Stalin, didn't Stalin?
Yeah, Joseph Stalin had a ministry of truth.
We now have a ministry of truth.
I used to make Stalinist metaphors to be hyperbolic.
Now they're not even metaphors, they're duplications.
So here she is, this stupid, horrible cow, back before Trump was in office, right?
2020?
Am I stupid?
No, no.
He was in office.
When he was rerunning, second term.
And she's saying that you and I are going to go to the voting booths with AKs and just stare people down and intimidate voters so they're too scared to vote for Biden.
Like the Black Panthers did during the Obama war.
Exactly.
That's literally what the new Black Panther Party did.
They showed up to the polls armed.
See, that's a perfect example of what is going on here.
They take black extremism, hide it, and they replace it with white extremism in order to win.
This is, you know what this is?
This is inept.
Because you're really playing your fucking hand here.
You're saying the quiet part out loud.
We want to control the narrative.
So go back to her.
This is 2020 saying that I'm going to be scaring off the DNC with liberal voters with my guns.
Which groups specifically are considered at this point the biggest threat, most likely to cause civil unrest at or around election day?
Well, Jim, I think with the president's remarks at the debate last Tuesday night, encouraging all of his supporters to go and watch, along with the Trump campaign's recruitment of election observers in a very strange and militarized way, calling it the Trump Army and asking supporters to enlist,
I think there's a general concern about Trump supporters potentially showing up armed to the polls and these sorts of voter suppression, voter intimidation, that's illegal everywhere.
So this is some of her live tweets during the debates.
Back on the laptop from hell, she rolls her eyes.
She says in 2020, she also said there is more doubt on the provenance of the New York Post's Hunter Biden story.
She was pro the New York Post being censored on Twitter for the Hunter Biden story.
This is spooky.
Biden's minister of truth.
Force away.
Lock us down.
Anyway, long time story short, I think we as a country...
Wait, go back up.
Might be too free-spirited, to put it diplomatically.
We're too free here to comply with social distancing recommendations unless they're forced upon us.
So force away.
Force away.
This woman is a fucking genetic communist.
She doesn't have freedom in her DNA.
So Bik posted this.
I saw it, so now you have to see it.
Way to make me not like tits.
Oh.
Listen close to everybody's heart and hear that the Ministry of Cringe much?
Isn't shattering apart redundant?
If you're shattering, we know it's apart.
What the thing shatters together.
I guess that tempered glass.
Ew, whoa.
What was that?
What did you say?
Just cringe.
But we don't have to go to her jazz background, her corny folk.
This is a declaration for the future of the internet.
Is there anything more dystopian than a disinformation governance board run by the federal government?
So let me just tell you about extremism in America, okay?
It's not white.
It's not patriotic.
It's not all-American.
It's not January 6th.
It is radical whites.
I guess it is white with the middle-class Antifa.
It is, let's get race out of this whole fucking equation.
Let me go back a step, okay?
Let me tell you about extremism in America.
It's not patriots.
It's not MAGA.
It's not Trump.
January 6th was a meandering.
It's irrelevant.
Okay?
Extremism in America is Antifa.
They burned half the country down.
$3 billion in damage.
It's BLM.
It's the black thugs who prey on BLM rioting.
The normal BLMers and Antifa are exactly the same.
They destroy statue.
They desecrate American history.
They burn cities down.
Then there's the black thugs who join the BLM and Antifa, and they just loot.
So we've got nothing but destruction from radical leftists and BLM.
They are terror groups.
They fit every definition.
The definition of terror is committing acts of violence to gain political footage.
I mean, territory.
To gain politically.
And that's what they fucking do.
Proud boys don't do that.
The Patriots on Jan 6 were not doing that.
They were not trying to terrorize America.
They were sitting at Nancy Pelosi's desk making jokes.
Did you see the guy grabbing the palladium?
He was laughing.
They're not laughing in Antifa.
Look at what they did here.
Jump ahead to 1-8.
Remember yesterday?
We showed the retailer getting the shit kicked out of her, right?
Because Antifa thought that one of the clothing lines at that particular store was appreciated by the radical right.
So if radical right people buy this clothing line, then you have to beat the shit out of the woman who works there.
Yeah, we showed this yesterday.
And they beat her mercilessly.
So this is what they're doing now.
This is Antifa.
This is the radical left.
This is terrorism.
They've decided the earth is dying.
So they're going to break the glass on gas stations, on pumps.
There we go.
Hi, I'm Louise.
I'm 23, and I'm doing this because currently the government doesn't care about our lack of futures.
That inaction on the emergency, which is the climate crisis, is literally going to destroy lives in the next 10 to 20 years.
There's going to be mass crop failure, mass Drought, mass starvation, and because they're doing nothing, we are forced to cause disruption to make them listen.
I don't want to be here.
This is, you know, not what I choose to do in my time, but I feel like I've run out of options.
I mean, she's in a cult, a domestic terrorist cult.
And Big Sister is going to try to reverse what you see with your own eyes.
Don't believe your lion eyes.
Believe Big Sister.
Disinformation board.
See, they've really shown their true colors too, because it'd be one thing if they were freaking out that the radical right took over the entire internet.
You go, whoa, I guess they're going to be pissed out.
No, this is just gaining a yard.
Just a little bit of...
Is the word footage?
What am I...
What's the word I'm looking for?
Territory?
Just gaining a little bit of space.
And totally ignoring all other extremists.
Like, there's Antifa, there's BLM.
There's also these radical Mexicans.
I mean, MS-13, you could argue that's political.
It's definitely a threat to domestic life.
They are taking Chinese fentanyl and distributing it across the entire country.
We considered when they shot that dude with the big mustache in active war and started World War I because of it.
This seems like a slightly bigger deal.
128 Americans OD on opioids every day.
They're ODing on drugs from China, and it's being distributed by illegal Mexicans in gangs such as MS-13, from rural Ohio to the cities to the suburbs, from dirt poor meth heads to sorry,
I'm going to distract it because we got to interview a dude in prison later.
I don't think it's going to make it to this episode, though.
To the suburbs, middle class, poor, everything.
128 of all stripes of Americans are being murdered by this fentanyl epidemic.
Government media, that information doesn't make it there.
And again, like I said the other day, like you look up black extremism and it fits all of the threats we have with proud boys.
This could get out of hand.
This could lead to people dying.
This could lead to endangering children's lives.
Yeah, you get that with the Nuwabian nation.
Malachi Z. York started in New York.
They were called the sword of Islam there.
They're obsessed with their Egyptian heritage.
They're unaware that Egyptians were not black.
They were Arab, but whatever.
They built a massive compound there.
And their leader, Malachi Z. York, I believe his name is Dwight.
No, that's a different thing, Ryan.
He is doing 135 years right now for molesting and raping 40 children.
Now, this is in a compound where they have their own police.
Police are not allowed in.
And that's what we discovered from the outside.
Lord fucking knows.
They had things going on, like pull it up in B-roll, any kind of Nuwabian nation thing.
What do they call themselves?
Nuwapians.
They had punishments like a punishment bath where they would put girls into baths of sulfuric acid and corrode their skin as a punishment.
They were constantly beating and destroying and breaking the limbs of their various members for sinning.
Look up the New Abhi Nation.
And they hate white people.
They're virulently racist.
They decapitate whites.
They found this old couple nearby in Georgia, decapitated the man, tied the woman's legs to cement blocks and threw her in the river.
So it checks all the boxes, major threat, racism, things can get out of hand.
It's gotten out of hand.
But they're black extremists, so the media is completely silent about it.
Look at that thing.
Can you fucking imagine if Proud Boys had a compound like that and raped 40 kids and decapitated an old black couple?
And me, the leader, went to jail for molesting 40 kids for 135 years.
Can you fucking imagine?
I think it may make it to the newspapers.
I think the media may take a glance.
That may be on BuzzFeed.
Or the other Muslim cult, the thing you just pulled up, in New Mexico.
Remember them?
They are the same as Islam Berg.
They follow the same Muslim cleric in Pakistan.
They're all linked together.
It's a huge cabal all over the entire United States.
Nothing but silence from the media.
And they starved a kid to death.
No arrests.
Max and John get four years for fighting Antifa for 17 seconds.
This guy, the leader of this cult in New Mexico, murders a child and nothing.
And did you see that subhead?
They're training children to attack schools.
To do mass shootings in schools.
It's tough to think of something worse than that.
The only thing worse than a school mass shooting is a premeditated school mass shooting.
But they seem Muslim and they're black and it doesn't fit the fucking narrative.
So we're not going to cover it.
Okay.
Well, how about fuck you?
All right.
Do we have time?
I'm going to do this Hillary's death count.
Because speaking of misinformation and media malfeasance and the raging incompetence going on in this country and the Stalinist fucking fascism, we're living in a fascist state.
I saw that there was a new dead body in front of Hillary Clinton's doorstep the other day, metaphorically, of course.
And I thought, I think that brings us to, well, 40 or 50 very curious cases, but 14 unbelievably disturbing cases.
So let's go and talk about those over in the green screen room.
Let me get on my motors.
Come on, everybody.
All right, the Hillary death count.
When I say 14, I mean 14 slam dunks.
But another, these are only the 14 that I've chosen here are relatively random, by the by.
And inevitably, whenever I put them together, I talk to someone, they go, You forgot this guy.
In fact, when I first put this together, it was at 13, including our new dude.
And they go, You forgot Ron Brown.
I went, Oh, fuck yeah, Ron Brown.
So here's another thing you can do on your own time.
Look at the big crazy lists.
Some lists are nuts.
Some lists are 80.
Pluck a name out and look it up.
And they don't mean much on their own.
Oh, the guy who was a chef for the Clintons died in a creek in one inch of water.
If that was Obama's chef, that would be weird.
And I always say that to people, especially liberals.
I say Obama has no death count.
Besides, of course, the thousands of teenagers he drone struck, killed using drone strikes in the Middle East.
But his chef is fine.
Hillary hasn't got that.
Now, my theory is in 1992, Clinton was running for office sometime around there.
And she was desperate to win.
She was a conniving, evil bitch, and said, we have to save America at all costs.
She's a radical.
She's a Sololinsky woman.
And she found out that Clinton was having an affair, Bill Clinton.
So she killed the girl.
She had the girl killed.
That opened a Pandora's box.
And she inadvertently started a murder industry.
Now, I'm hoping that it's beyond her control.
And she's as mortified as we are.
Maybe I'm just trying to inject some morality into her.
But this thing has got a mind of its own at this point.
And now, if someone fucks with her or someone is a threat to the Clinton Enterprise, they mysteriously croak.
And she might not even be calling the shots anymore.
She might read about Seth Rich and go, oh, fuck, they've done it again.
Oh, God.
Anyway, so let's look at the newest guy.
This dude's name is Valentin Brokesmid.
So his dad is a Dutch banker, and his dad has all of this stuff on the Clintons.
So I could add his dad to this list, by the way.
We're combining the two Brokesmiths into one.
And he's going through all these banking records, and he discovers a bunch of files.
According to the Times, Brokesmith supplied the documents to journalists and others, including Fusion GPS, the research firm linked to an unverified dossier about Trump and investigators with the FBI's New York office.
Now, if you recall, Hillary Clinton hired Fusion GPS to get dirt on Trump.
They came up with the Steele dossier, the Trump dossier, which was a ridiculous piece of garbage about, I don't know, Trump wanting prostitutes to piss on a bed that Obama was going to sleep on.
This is a germaphobe.
He wants people to piss on stuff?
No.
And Coulter brought up the germaphobe thing.
You can smell a rat with these lies.
That's a thing, too.
They're not sending their best.
We're not up against geniuses here.
They just hired a minister of information.
Joe Biden just the other day said, your kids don't belong to you.
They belong to the state.
Like, the lunatics are running the asylum, and they're terrible at it.
So anyway, this banker gets all this Fusion GPS data that could link Hillary.
The FEC is still investigating Hillary, I believe, for funding this steel dossier through Fusion GPS.
Find over improper spending.
Yeah, she took campaign funds and got Fusion GPS to basically fabricate this ridiculous dossier that no one took seriously with a brain.
And so the banker with this information commits suicide, and his son, Val, mysteriously dies.
He goes AWOL.
They say he's homeless, and they just found his dead body.
So number one is really the 14th on my list of what I consider slam dunks.
Let's go to number two.
We all remember Seth Rich, right?
He may have been the guy who supplied Julian Assange, all the stuff.
A lot of lefties were very angry about Bernie getting fucked over by the DNC.
A lot of them are socialists, and they see him as the bright new hope.
So you see a lot of dissension in the ranks via Bernie supporters on the left.
And I think Seth may have been one of these guys.
So he was shot in the back of the head in the middle of the night in a not-so-dangerous part of DC, I believe.
He's talking to his girlfriend on the phone.
A gunman came up behind him, shot him to death without taking anything at all.
And then Julian Assange personally offered a $20,000 reward for any information leading to his arrest.
And they said, are you implying that Hillary had him killed?
And Assange said, I'm just supplying money for information.
I believe that Seth Rich was murdered as punishment for embarrassing the Hillary campaign by leaking emails to Julian Assange.
See, you'll notice with these things too, there's a lot of like face.
It's not even like the mafia they tell you, mafia.
It's more like the Mexican drug cartels, where if you do something that makes me look like a bitch, I have to punish you and your family.
So this embarrassed Hillary.
You don't embarrass El Chapo.
So he's dead.
Number three, John Ashe.
Now, this guy was a UN official.
He was in big shit with the law enforcement because he was working with a Chinese billionaire, David Ng.
A.K.A. Ng Slapsang.
Hillary Clinton also worked with this Chinese billionaire.
So there's going to be exploration here.
There's going to be, oh my God, my shitty brain.
What's it called?
When you get to see everyone's emails during a court case?
Discovery.
There's going to be discovery here.
And if you're investigating that Chinese billionaire, Hillary Clinton's involvement with him is going to pop up.
We can't have that.
We need this John Ash corruption trial to go away.
Guess what happened to John Ashe?
Same thing that happens to millions of people a year.
As he was lifting weights, his barbells went back down on his neck.
He wasn't strong enough to lift them back up and He died.
Now, I looked this up.
It's happened like three or four times.
It's not very common.
You can usually, even if you're alone, you can usually wriggle out of the way.
He couldn't wriggle.
So he died of that.
I mean, you can picture the two dudes, the two Goombas, the two hitmen, just sort of pushing down his neck because he's like, he grabs one of their legs and he's sort of squeezing it.
Rips the guy's pocket.
The guy's like, oh, fuck, my pocket's ripped.
Fucking John Ash.
Number four, Paula Gruber.
She was an interpreter for the death.
She is the hottest woman to be murdered by the Clintons.
That's my favorite kind of face.
What a looker, huh?
She's known as the prettiest victim.
Now, her job, I believe this is the one that started the whole thing.
She was an interpreter for the deaf back then.
And she had reported that Bill Clinton was hitting on her.
And she died shortly after saying, Bill Clinton grabbed my ass or whatever he did to her that was sexually inappropriate.
She was hit by a car.
Yeah, she was hit by a car, hurled 33 feet through the air, and nobody saw the accident.
It happened when she was alone, driving in the dark, no other cars around.
I believe this is what they wanted to do to Monica Lewinsky.
And I spoke to a driver once who said that he had been, he was driving Monica Lewinsky around once.
Back when I would do Fox, I'd get these drives back with these guys, this limo service and car service.
And he said that there was a car that had swerved at him when he had Monica Lewinsky in the back.
And who do we have?
It was Paula.
Sorry, hold on.
There was that woman that she spoke to and gave a long interview with.
And many believe that that is why Monica Lewinsky is alive.
I'm skipping all over the place here.
All right, we'll get to that.
Anyway.
No, no, no, no.
Shut up.
Paula Jones, that was it.
She did a long interview with Monica that she recorded.
And Paula herself says, I saved Monica's life.
By making that public and having her a public figure, she couldn't be disappeared like Paula Grober.
I saved Monica's life.
See, I'm really happy with these.
They all feel really solid.
Barbells on your neck?
So that was back in 92.
And I think that was the first thing.
I think this is where she got a taste of it.
Number five, Paul Tully.
He worked obsessively on the campaign, on Bill's campaign in 92.
And he was found dead in his hotel room right after Paula Grober.
So someone who knew a lot about Clinton and what he got up to was found dead in his hotel room.
Not that consequential in and of itself.
With 14 others who were friends with the Clintons?
That's curious.
And again, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter, they don't have death counts.
Even Joe Biden doesn't have a death count.
He's steeped in corruption, and he's a fucking fascist, but his chef is A-OK.
Number six, Vince Foster.
Now, this is another biggie, Whitewatergate.
They wanted to build, Whitewater was going to be like a vacation housing thing, and they were having trouble pushing it through.
It was a major real estate deal, but they needed money to get it going, and no one was that inspired by it.
So Bill Clinton forced a loan to this woman, Susan McDougall.
And then she used that, it was a $300,000 loan.
She used that money to help push Whitewater.
They got caught.
Vince Foster was an integral part of this deal.
And as they were going to investigate Vince, he put a gun in his mouth and blew his head off.
As one does, right?
When they're facing, what, $300,000?
What are you facing?
Two years in prison?
That's not really suicide, Town.
Now, remember that Susan McDougal was the one who got the loan, her and her husband.
And here's something about this case that I always find interesting.
I got in trouble with Kennedy on Fox Business for saying that I believe he was murdered.
Here's what we know, and here's what they admit.
The DNC broke into his office and removed files from his filing cabinets.
That's not disputed.
That's not a conspiracy theory.
Okay, so you have criminals within your organization and they are willing to commit crimes and you've admitted to that.
All right, this is just a much bigger crime.
You know what I mean?
It's like, no, I'm not a prostitute.
Well, I fucked a football team and they gave me some money for an Uber, but I've never accepted money for sex.
Okay, but you're in the realm and it's in the realm of possibilities.
Number seven, John Parnell Walker, my kingdom for a photo of this dude.
I cannot find it anywhere.
And I reached out on the internet.
No one can.
So this guy was investigating Whitewater, Whitewater Gate.
And then, as one does when one's investigating a case, he jumped off his balcony and committed suicide, quote unquote.
Number eight, Jim McDougall.
This is the woman who got the money for the deal.
That's her husband.
That's Susan McDougall's husband.
He was arrested and was facing trial.
And while he was in jail for this, had he already been charged?
Yeah, I think he was in jail awaiting sentencing.
So he could spill the beans.
He could start pleeing down by throwing them under the bus.
He mysteriously committed, sorry, had a heart attack in prison, much like Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously hanged himself.
By the way, Susan McDougall, she did go to jail.
She shut her mouth and made it clear to the Clintons she wasn't going to say anything.
And guess what happened to her?
Bill Clinton pardoned her.
This is what you do when you're involved in the Clintons.
You shut your mouth or you die.
Again, it's El Chapo.
The Italian mafia is much more reasonable.
Suzanne Coleman, number nine.
This was an attractive pregnant woman.
This is in 97.
And she was seven months pregnant.
She had been working with Bill.
She had an affair with him.
That was all well known when she was the attorney general in Arkansas.
She became pregnant at seven months.
Of course, she mysteriously died, committed suicide.
So we'll never know who that son is.
Wouldn't it be awesome if we could have done a biopsy or whatever on that baby and found out the DNA of the baby?
Wouldn't it be awesome if we could find out if Barack Obama was born in America?
Wouldn't it be awesome if we could find out if Fidel Castro was Justin Trudeau's father?
Lots of people don't think that the Obama kids are Obama's.
That could all be solved with DNA.
Anyway, we're off with a tangent here.
Number 10, Mary Mahoney.
So while the sex scandals are going on with Monica Lewinsky, Mike Isaacoff Newsweek announced that a former White House staffer was coming out with a sexual harassment story against Bill Clinton.
She must be so annoyed, Hillary, because she just has to do all the heavy lifting, all the murdering, and then Bill gets all this pussy.
So, yeah, she was, this White House staffer was promptly shot in the head multiple times.
She was a 25-year-old girl who was working on his campaign, and the thing was written off as a robbery, but exactly like Seth Rich, nothing was stolen.
So I believe she was the White House staffer that was going to go public about Bill Clinton molesting her, and she got shot in the head.
Again, this all has consequence when you look at them all together.
Number 11, Walter Sheeb.
This is a Hillary Sheff I was talking about.
Obviously knows a lot about the Clintons.
Overhears quite a bit.
He drowned in a tiny little creek that a mouse wouldn't drown in, literally, on a camping trip.
Okay.
Number 12, Victor Thorne.
He committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head.
That's one does on a hiking trip.
And what's his relation to Hillary?
He had just finished a book called Why Hillary Shouldn't Be in the White House.
This sounds like a lie.
It's true.
Number 13, Sean Lucas.
Now, I remember watching this video when it came out.
He's just like Seth Rich.
He was a Bernie bro that was mad that Hillary fucked over Bernie.
So he served them.
He served Debbie Wasserman Schultz and the DNC with subpoenas, accusing them of putting Hillary over Bernie in the primaries.
I think we have footage of that, right?
He comes in.
It was on a July 4th weekend, so no one was there besides the security staff.
And he goes in and he serves them with the subpoenas.
And then he says to the camera, that's the most satisfying thing I've ever done.
Just skip ahead a little bit, Ryan.
Yeah.
So that's his buddy who's filming it.
Mexican dude.
That's him there.
That's Sean Lucas.
And then if you go to the next link, Ryan, you get him saying, that's the most gratifying thing I've ever done.
A month later, he's dead in his bathroom at the ripe old age of like 42.
Yeah, turn it up.
And this is for Debbie Wasserman and Schultz.
You guys have been served.
Thank you so much.
We'll see you in court.
Guys, thank you so much for everything.
Have a great day.
Thank you again.
Happy court.
You'll have to see me.
All right.
That was probably the most gratifying thing I've ever done.
You ever done it a month after saying that, he's dead in his bathroom.
You see?
And like, that didn't end the subpoena.
The subpoena had already been put out.
He just served it.
It's about face.
You disrespected El Chapo.
You have to die.
I'm going to literally shoot the messenger.
Number 14, Ron Brown.
He was the first black man to chair the DNC and the first black man to be murdered by Hillary Clinton.
This guy was corrupt, as was the...
Oh, wait, no, he's the second black guy.
The Barbells was the first black guy.
First black chair of the DNC, second black man to be killed by the Clintons.
He was caught selling seats on a trade mission to raise money for Bill Clinton's campaign.
But just like the other black guy, Ron Brown had accepted a $700,000 bribe from a Vietnamese businessman that he was caught doing, and it was going to expose all of this DNC malfeasance.
So, and this is kind of stylish, by the way, this murder, just like he got in trouble for selling seats on a plane on a DNC trip, they decided to kill him on a plane.
So while flying over Croatia, the plane crashed, and while investigating the body, they find a giant hole in Ron Brown's head that you don't get from flying a plane.
And you know what was interesting about this?
The NAACP demanded an investigation.
So when it's a black dude, we actually get some exposition here.
And we discover that Ron had a giant hole in his fucking head.
So that's all 14.
And it's so macabre and so spooky that I have trouble imagining that one person like Hillary Clinton could be responsible for all this.
I think she started the ball rolling, but she created this whole bizarre, dark, and evil, murderous cabal that goes around murdering, shooting in the back of the head, slaughtering anyone who gets in the way of the Clintons.
America the Brave is not what it used to be.
We are living in a fucking Stalinist state with mobsters, murderer, henchmen, El Chapos running the show.
And now any information about that has to be quashed.
If I commit suicide at any time in the near future, I did not commit suicide.
I always crumple my bud cans because I don't give a shit about recycling, but by the time I take my little garbage out of my home bar, it weighs like 300 pounds.
It's just all condensed aluminum.
By the way, I've just fucked up.
Ron Brown was the first chair of the DNC, first black chair of the DNC, and the first black to be killed by the Clintons.
John Ash wasn't killed with his barbells until 2016.
He's number two.
Yeah, fun stuff there.
Fun shit.
She's an equal opportunity murderer.
Allegedly.
So we have the government lying about extremism.
They've got our friends in jail.
They've got grannies in prison.
We have SWAT teams kicking down some spa outside of Anchorage, Alaska, because they think he has Hunter Biden's laptop.
This is another woman against us knowing about Hunter Biden's laptop.
And now she is in charge of information.
Remember we used to laugh at Britain and Canada about this shit?
And here we are in many ways a worse boat?
Pathetic.
Pathetic.
And it's definitely because Elon Musk is buying Twitter.
Look, politics is downstream from the culture.
Libs of TikTok is why we have the don't say gay bill.
Thank God.
And Elon Musk buying Twitter is why this bitch is watching you.
Okay, I think we're pretty much ready for the old mailbag.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.
Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Let him touch it.
Is the guy who did our triangles the same guy who did those letters?
Yes.
So maybe he could make his floating phones that it look exactly the same.
Oh, yeah.
Actually, we should get one for the Thursday show that combines letters, phone calls, and live chats.
Yeah.
Please get on that.
Write that down.
Oh, this is the new LGBTQ AI Plus that the same guy did.
It's perfect.
It rules.
Put me behind it.
Okay.
It has that Viking on it.
He's not gay, but there was a funny meme where he was considered gay.
So that's fine there.
And then the close-up is fantastic, too.
Great work.
That guy's awesome.
Fucking rules.
I think I contacted him once and we spoke, and he doesn't really, he's not like a motion picture, motion graphic guy by trade.
He does something different.
Something crazy.
All right.
You ready for all this, folks?
Here's one.
It's called Answer to Amazon Crazy Woman Porn and Girl Talk.
So I'm not going to...
This is a hell of a long time.
That's a longie.
So on Wednesday show, you're puzzled why the mentally ill, crazy, pussy Amazon people believe that Matt Walsh's book will cause you to bully, will cause kids to commit suicide.
We have the book here.
It cost me $14.
The drawing in it is terrible.
Did a kid do it?
Look at this.
Really?
Who is Kay Reese?
You know, I looked it up.
The only Kay Reese I found was certainly not somebody affiliated with Matt Walsh.
It was a purple-haired, nosed-piercer.
So this is probably Matt Walsh's wife.
And she's convinced people she can draw, and she's just using an alias.
Because it's some of the worst drawings I've ever seen.
But anyway, it's a great book.
And it was the purpose.
It was the focus on our show this week.
I get what she means.
We all know trans people commit suicide at astronomically high rates.
Most sane people know that it can be attributed to gender dysphoria, mental illness, or regret from undergoing hormonal treatment or bottom surgery.
But to the left and supporters of the LGBTQ community, they think it's because trans people are being bullied and harassed.
Which is bullshit.
But not to that crazy lady.
By Matt's book stating that Johnny is just a boy and cannot really become a walrus, and for anyone to believe otherwise would be wrong and absurd, she probably thinks kids will then apply this book's lesson to the trans kids they come in contact with.
Instead of going along with little Tommy, identifying as a girl, kids might refuse to.
They will taunt Tommy or dare to call him a boy.
For the left and the crazy lady, doing this is considered denying a trans kid's existence.
And by not affirming the trans kid's gender, it will bring about trauma and lead the kid to commit suicide.
Yeah, but it's a hell of a stretch.
And it's based on the assumption that gay kids are being bullied in school, and they're not.
If anything, you get bullied into being gay.
I know of at least two young kids, 10 and 12, who told their dad they're bi recently, and they're not.
It's just what you do.
You know, like same reason why parents must give their kids blah, blah, blah.
Okay, and then she wants to know about porn and why there's so much stepbrother porn, and then she's got a few other questions.
You don't get infinite things, lady.
But I think the reason your stepbrother and stepsister porn is so big now is because people are jaded.
Like, they've been watching this pornography for 10 years now, and they've been jumping the meter over from the beginning of the video, skipping the intro, and the next thing you know, some Asian fucking black woman is getting plowed in the ass by 10 guys.
I'm like, I need more, more, more.
So now stepsister, which used to be something crazy that would pop into your head, and you'd go, oh, I'm depraved.
Now that's just the baseline because they keep having to ramp it up.
Don't watch porn.
Okay.
Here's one I've been meaning to get to for a while.
Johnny the Walrus Is $50.
Holy shit.
This must be Amazon making it too expensive to purchase.
I can't see this being the MSRP, whatever that means.
Retail price?
The Master Something selling retail price?
$50.
So maybe it's guys like me buying it all up because we love it so much, or maybe it's more Malfeasants from the left.
Anyway, Kay Reese, please don't do another children's book.
And Matt Walsh, please do.
Also in the news.
Malcolm Nance is a complete fraud in every regard.
And here we have military-grade contents.
This is some sort of inner military news source.
A matter of honor in the fiction of Malcolm Nance, reminiscent of Hillary Clinton's deplorable comments.
Malcolm Nance, self-appointed counterterrorism cryptology intelligence interrogation and linguistics expert, has stated that all military persons that support the president are not honorable.
So this is 2018.
He was obviously talking about Trump, right?
2018.
Yep.
As a retired senior chief, airborne mission supervisor, I have given Malcolm Nance wide berth.
Bottom line, he left the naval security group in disgrace.
And we, our professional communities and associations, generally have a good laugh at his self-promotion, exaggeration of performance and associations with his pretense of expertise.
The proverbial eye roll precedes any response we give when asked about his exploits.
He's been declared persona non grata from his profession and then presumes to question service members' honor based on a vote in lawful support for a candidate now president.
Nance, in fact, called for ISIS to bomb Trump towers in Istanbul following President Trump's call to Turkish President Erdogan after his re-election.
Nance deleted that tweet but did not apologize.
My first experience with Nance came soon after Desert Storm.
If memory serves, it was late 1992 or 93.
I was on the mid-watch.
I received a phone call early in the morning.
They have a lot of details in this military writing.
Lots of brackets.
Having recently been meritoriously promoted via the command agent, blah, blah, blah, to petty officer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I nearly spilled my coffee thinking that my CEO had changed his mind.
Then he said distinctly, Petty Officer Morlock, do you recognize my voice?
I replied in the affirmative.
Open up the logbook and write this down verbatim, he said.
Chief Petty Officer Malcolm Nance is persona non-grata in our spaces.
You may remove him by force.
Now read that back to me.
Okay.
A lot of details here.
I want some more gossip.
Anyway, this article goes on for a very long time explaining what a complete catastrophe Malcolm Nance is, as we predicted.
I met this guy at an Ancolter debate.
He was acting like a fucking lunatic.
We had to tell him to shut his mouth.
Tell your now replicating moron Ryan to not say caller 516 go ahead.
Instead, say John is on the line calling about huge fucking tits or whatever.
The pregnant pauses and hello will go away immediately.
How he hasn't figured this out yet is Ry-tarded.
Okay.
What's your excuse for that?
Well, we had the only reason it started doing it is because people weren't sure if it was them.
They're like, me?
Is it me?
So if you say they're Kevin.
Is the voice thing that records their voice is inaccurate?
Oh, yeah.
Well, that too.
I don't read their...
No, no, I mean, when it says John is on the line.
Yeah, sometimes it's inaccurate.
Sometimes...
Because it prompts you, right?
And says, who's calling?
And you say Gavin.
And then it might say Kevin.
Yeah.
And they might say, hey, Gavin, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then you're like, well, it's not Gavin.
So the names aren't tried and true.
And then sometimes people are not sure it's them.
We need to bust Mercedes out of jail and do a show called Nude History with Mercedes-Carrera.
Sweet, Sweet Titties and World History.
Awesome.
Also, Ryan, who's better than Jimi Hendrix, and will knock Lakash the fuck out, even though he has 32% of his testosterone level, does a better job on gummies.
Handle it.
Make it happen.
Stay majestic.
I got a lot of flack for supporting Mercedes-Carrera.
I don't think you guys understand how close we are slash were.
People are like, go check out her porn.
She's a fucking disgusting pig.
We argued all the time about porn.
I've known this woman for, I don't know, six years.
We would talk on the phone regularly.
I know her husband very well.
So this is a good friend of mine.
Now, you have a good friend who goes to prison for allegedly molesting her daughter in a culture where all your other MAGA friends are in prison too.
In a culture where there's no hard, they checked all her computers, no kiddie porn anywhere.
In a culture where Mercedes' ex-husband was in a custody battle with her and wanted to win and get rid of her so he could have the kid.
And that worked, by the way.
The kid's gone from her life forever.
I know her kid.
I know their relationship.
I spoke to her about all this, heard her crying her eyes out.
Now they found meth, guns, and cameras around the bed.
And that's what really put her in.
All of those are typical of all porn stars.
So fuck you for telling me not to stand up for my friend until the evidence is presented.
This isn't a random stranger.
I've hung out with her.
We partied in Vegas.
We've been to rallies together.
We've been to conferences.
This is my friend who's been accused of the most horrible thing imaginable.
And of course, I'm aware that there's a possibility it's true.
But I stand by my friends until there's evidence that what the fuckheads are saying is brought forward.
Because look what everyone says about me.
I lost all my friends because they're all pussies.
I lost friends who knew I was innocent.
And we're like, sorry, man.
I can't take the heat.
God, I reek of fucking.
You know that My deodorant I use is that baking powder stuff that's just an arm and hammer.
So it has no scent at all.
And I hate that sort of sport Gillette gel shit that smells super strong.
So I'm smelling another man's, I'm a cuck.
I'm sitting here inhaling another man's Gillette just because I want you to send me a high-res shirt, tea or long sleeve, I don't care, and I'll reciprocate.
I promise.
Little husband shirt reciprocation.
It's funnier that I'm little, right?
I'm going to keep it this way.
Yeah.
Just little me.
This is hilarious.
Yeah, that's really a weird twist from normal life where you're 5'7.
Okay, well now you know what.
Ukraine and Biden, what if this whole war is a cover-up for all the dirty shit Ukraine has on the Biden family and is blackmailing them via foreign aid, or else the country would out the family?
That's probably why we have this shit.
Remember he said he's passing a bill on revenge porn?
Biden was going to try to make this about revenge porn.
They're going to ban revenge porn?
Revenge porn is banned, by the way.
And it's the porn isn't the issue, Joe.
The pictures with the crack, that's not really the problem here.
We knew rich people party.
The problem is that fucking you were using your power of office to set up deals with places like Ukraine, where we're coincidentally at war with, and China, and you were using a proxy,
your son, and then taking 10 to 50% depending on the deal.
Your corruption is the issue here.
Yeah, the porn stuff's pretty gross.
And I'm particularly concerned about him fucking his, what, his niece, and the allegations of child molestation from Joe Biden, and the idea of him with Obama's kids, his two girls.
Remember the credit card thing?
That's all there.
We're not going to let that go.
But that's not really why we're freaking out.
It's not like, ew, he was nude with a chick.
All right, last one.
Punks don't like hippies.
Recently, my wife found out.
Punks, wouldn't you just say I found out?
My wife found something out.
I haven't found it out yet.
My wife found out that punks don't like hippies.
I'm a little out of touch on the subject, or I guess I've never really given it any thought.
Definitely like to kindly shed on the subject?
Thank you and the team for all your hard work every day.
Yes.
Well, the Sex Pistols, of course, had their hit song, Never Trust a Hippie.
And in the late 70s, when punk began, it was a fuck you to the dinosaur rock that was popular at the time.
The, whatever, fucking Dire Straits, what was that band that Pink Floyd, all of those old, you know, mega rock bands that the hippies loved and the hippies, peace and love, shit.
Punk rock was about hate.
And it was about destroying the system.
It was about breaking all the rules and doing what you want and not being a masterful guitarist and, you know, not being a self-indulgent shithead.
It was a rebirth.
It was a fuck you to the boomers.
The boomers were hippies.
So I thought it would be pretty obvious that they hated hippies.
Everyone hates hippies.
That's what the whole fucking DNC is based upon, is hippie shit.
Anyway, okay, let's jump over to the mailbag.
Final video.
I mean, sorry, final video.
Bad news.
Quack.
Man down, man down.
Lynn has been Vinned.
Vin Diesel has the IQ of a newborn bear.
Cute, but not really good at human stuff.
And he likes to make videos.
He loves social media.
He also looks like an erect penis.
I believe he's a closeted homo.
He hides his race, but it's half black.
His black dad wasn't around, of course.
And when you're on a set with him, he social medias you.
And everyone dreads it.
It's embarrassing.
Everyone hates Vin Diesel.
He's a nightmare.
So people don't want to make it too obvious and be cliquey on the set and be at the craft table laughing.
So they humor him.
They go, hey, Vin, what's up, man?
And then they sort of make glance at each other like, I'm fucking believable.
So if you're new on the set, you come over and you're usually at the craft table and he makes a little video with you.
And then you go back to, there's probably a cool crowd on his sets where people are funny.
And the funny crowd, the guy goes back and Justin Lynn definitely did this after this.
And he went, I got Vinned.
It wasn't that bad.
It was short and sweet and now it's done.
And they go, oh, fuck, dude.
I had a 20-minute VIN.
I got Vinned for 20 minutes.
And they go, you need a purple heart.
You are a Vin vet.
So anyway, here is a man with an IQ so low, it's a marvel that he's able to feed himself and change his underwear.
Maybe he doesn't.
Maybe his underwear reeks.
Maybe he reeks.
And here is this depraved, retarded homo, Vinning Lynn.
What do you think, Justin?
Week one.
This French week one.
How does it feel?
Feels like the beginning of an epic ending.
Is it fair to say that this will be the best one?
In my heart, yes.
What kind of way is that to end?
Wow.
Oh!
That was savage.
Dude, you're going to like this movie and you think it's going to be good?
Whoa!
Slam.
He doesn't even get gestures right.
Like, that's what you say when you're like, tell him I'm going to fuck his girlfriend and she's going to love it.
And then I'm going to fuck all his friends' girlfriends and then they're going to hate you.
Oh, savage.
I think this movie's going to be good.
It might even be the best one.
I feel my heart is going to be good.
Oh, dude.
Damned it.
Hey, your mom, they found a growth in her breast.
It's not looking good.
Oh!
Savage!
You fucking roasted me, dude.
It's not really a roast, man.
I'm saying we're worried about her.
Oh, dude!
That crushes me.
Now I'm crying because I'm worried about my mom.
I love you.
I want to get married.
Classic.
That's funny.
No, I love you, Vin.
Strange, Stalinist times we're living in.
And I hope you intellectual media types can do something about it.
Because politics is downstream from the culture.
And that's who makes the changes around here.
Is the elites.
I'm just a working Joe in my high-viz long sleeves, just trying to repair the roads so you guys can drive to work and save the world.
And if that's not your cup of tea, then get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Stay in my heart for one.
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