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March 22, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:29:47

S4E99 - RIP LEVI ROMERO

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Time	Text
	My brother, now it's coming!
	It's Get Off My One with Gavin McGibbon!
	Make twice tell me, tell me a muffler, pump and dravy.
	Don't drink tea and don't drink coffee, coffee yum turn yum toffee.
	Dancing in the desk go bump up to bumper.
	Where the man?
	Me jumper!
	Me jumper!
	Me jumper!
	Me jumper!
	That was the Sultans of Ping FC, the Sultans of Ping Football Club from Cork City, an Irish post-post, post-post-post punk band who have the sprinkles.
	They've got the magic.
	I don't know what it is.
	They've got that inimitable talent that some bands just have, and you just know they're going to be great.
	I mean, I can tell when it's obvious, but I could never quite figure it out with other bands.
	Sarush Alvey, the man I started Vice with, he could hear a band.
	He's like, they're going to be huge.
	And he was always right.
	One of his few talents.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn on this Tuesday of March 22nd, 2022.
	I'm joined by my co-host, Ryan Katsu Rivera, a Puerto Rican gentleman whose Japanese father abandoned him at a young age.
	We still talk?
	Okay.
	And we have some very bad news to impart.
	This morning at 9 a.m., my friend Levi Romero was unplugged from life support.
	He was not getting any blood to his brain.
	They couldn't save him.
	He was a wild man, an absolute blizzard of a human being, a human tornado.
	He was a bull in a china shop where the china shop was planet Earth.
	My God, what a nut.
	It was impossible not to have fun with this guy.
	And I think that's what happened.
	Maybe it was yesterday?
	Yeah, I think it may have even been yesterday.
	Where he was zipping around on a moped and probably drunk.
	And I think he went creening into a wall.
	Face first, crashed.
	Probably showing off, probably doing wheelies, probably doing jumps.
	Probably scaring other cars.
	That's the way he was.
	And I miss him.
	He was kind of the guy we invented the fourth degree for.
	And though the media wants to pretend the fourth degree is go out and kill Antifa and you get a special badge, it is a consolation prize for getting fucked over.
	Okay, you got screwed over, but you got your fourth degree.
	It's almost like if you get audited by the IRS, you get your fourth degree.
	And they're changing into, oh, so fight the IRS and you win.
	Anyway, let's not waste our obituary bitching about the left.
	But one of the first times I met him was very early on.
	He's an OG proud boy.
	He was there from basically from day one.
	And he was always, he got the concept.
	And the concept is not violence.
	The concept is fun.
	He was the Bluto to our Delta House.
	And at this Battle of Berkeley, which I think was, what was that, 2017?
	He had been working with Steve Taylor and some other guys.
	And they organized a bunch of fun shit for the day.
	And when he saw Antifa show up, he was thrilled.
	He loved Antifa.
	He loved fucking with them, not fighting them, joking around with them, talking to them, dancing around them, posing for pictures with them.
	At one point, Yvette Falarka was there.
	Oh, this was some chick that wouldn't give him the time of day.
	And he's like, I love you.
	I want to be your friend.
	Let's talk.
	And so she turned around.
	That's her there.
	Look at that.
	Fash back.
	What the fuck does that dumb shirt mean?
	I hate the way they say fash.
	Anyway, he was having fun with her and she didn't want to talk.
	So she turned her back.
	And he's dancing around.
	So this is, what does that say?
	Oh, yeah, that's Antifa.
	That's lefties that are there anti-Trump, I believe.
	Yeah.
	So he went dancing around them and he said, he was yelling at me and I was at the other end of this sort of police line.
	So he's on the wrong side of the police line right there.
	And he said, I'm with these guys now.
	Fuck you.
	Fuck Proud Boys.
	I'm Antifa now.
	And then Yvette Falarka was there.
	And of course, he's dressed in the Proud Boy shirt, so she knew something was up with him.
	And he goes, no, I love you.
	I'm on your side, girl.
	I love you.
	And he was dancing near her, telling her he loves her.
	And he got jumped by the police and thrown in jail.
	And I thought, wow, that says a lot.
	He didn't touch her.
	He didn't threaten her in any way.
	He was being silly.
	He was ridiculing her and her movement.
	And the mayor of Berkeley, who had forwarded Antifa tweets and liked Antifa Facebook posts, he was an Antifa sympathizer, was clearly in bed with Yvette Falarca.
	And he had clearly told his boys, the police force there, if anyone goes within 100 miles of Yvette Falarca, take them down.
	She is my girl.
	She cannot be thwarted in any way.
	And she got drunk with that kind of power.
	She was doing a thing for a while where she would file restraining orders against various conservatives, like conservative students.
	Then she'd go to the campus, surround them, and say, hey, he's violating his restraining order.
	Psycho, who was eventually caught and arrested.
	But she got away with murder for a long time.
	And yeah, seeing Levi tackled and dragged away like that for a fucking joke.
	He's laughing the whole time.
	was where we said, Yeah, let's do the fourth degree now.
	It's a thing.
	He also put up lots of posters.
	I guess we can out his ID now.
	Before the Battle of Berkeley, he was putting up these posters around town.
	Freedom of speech hurts.
	Oh, man, what a fun dude.
	But he just partied too hard, and now he's gone.
	I think he's like 28 years old.
	We used to wear t-shirts of him.
	Have you got the t-shirt?
	Oh, you already showed it, yeah.
	So we're going to have a funeral for him tonight, and I think we're going to raise money.
	He's got a daughter.
	We're going to raise some money for his daughter to get a Bitcoin or something like that.
	Anyway, I'll keep you posted on that.
	Let's focus on the brothers who are alive, though.
	Joe Biggs out there still trying to get to the Supreme Court.
	Still trying to fight this.
	Yeah, give, send, go.
	The band yesterday donated $500 to Saints of 35th Street.
	Thank you for that, gentlemen.
	But should we start the show?
	Is that enough?
	I think so, yeah.
	Okay, let's do it.
	I'm going to just say that I'll miss him a lot, too.
	And he was, every time that you went to a thing, like a big Prowboys meeting, not like a little one, he was always there.
	And it was a fucking party.
	Like, when you walked into the room that he was in, that was like the wild area.
	You could have fun anywhere in Westfest, but if you're in that room that he's in there, that's where shit's going down.
	I don't know how to explain it, but it's just he's doing something.
	Yeah, Dash Snow was sort of like that, too.
	You always felt like you were at the right spot with him.
	Right.
	I'm not missing anything.
	Yeah, this is where we are.
	Yeah, and you know, I'm trying to look for the footage that the first Westfest I went to.
	I think he was in there too, but I blurred a lot of people's faces out.
	But he was like a mascot.
	He was like up in front, you know, a Blutooster boy.
	He was Blutho.
	He was the face on the thing because he was just so rock and roll and so, you know, about the party and about the club.
	So I don't think I blurred him out, so I'm going to look for that.
	And in the next coming days, if any footage comes up that we could show from, I'm sure we will.
	Yeah, send us your Levi pics, your Levi video footage.
	I wish I had the shot.
	It does exist.
	In fact, I think I showed it on the show, on the Gavin McInnes show, where he gets tackled by the police.
	And it was so uncalled for.
	I mean, he wasn't like, you're a fucking bitch or anything.
	He was smiling and going like this.
	Wham.
	Wow.
	And I thought that really summarizes how the police are often used as tools for left-wing mayors.
	Of course, Berkeley had massive quit guys dropping out of the police force after that.
	It was a fucking abomination.
	Anyway, let's start the show.
	Just one?
	One explosion.
	Oh, it goes 3-2-1.
	I see.
	I was too busy waving to Donald Trump.
	Is he going to run again in 2024?
	Is he going to be the president of the United States?
	He keeps talking.
	I would say yes.
	Because when they say, are you going to run?
	He says, technically, I can't answer that question.
	If you're going to run for president, you can't answer that.
	I have heard him say, you were the 45th president.
	He goes, 45th and 46th.
	No, and 47th.
	Right, right, right.
	That's good to know because we need Braveheart back to save us.
	I've been noticing a pattern here.
	I saw a commercial for some show called The Girl from Plainville, and there is definitely a pattern with true crime.
	This is what I've been screaming for a long time.
	Fiction is for fags.
	I don't need fiction.
	You're reading a novel and you're reading it going, why am I in someone else's imagination?
	That's gay.
	I'm in your head.
	I'm face fucking you.
	I don't want to be in your brain.
	I don't want to hear you're made-up people.
	How do you have more life experience than me?
	I'm 51 years old.
	I lived all over the world, done everything.
	And now I'm hearing about Xavier and Zoe.
	Suck my dickie.
	You're right.
	But now Netflix is doing all of these true crime things.
	They got the German chick who lied and said she was an oil baroness.
	You know?
	Like, what would you rather watch?
	A made-up story about a scam or that fire island, not fire island, but remember that one?
	The friar festival?
	Yeah.
	Like, that stuck with people forever.
	And when you hear a true story, you're smarter at the end of it.
	You have life experience.
	When you read fiction, you're not smarter.
	And a lot of the times, you're just hearing the guy's made-up bullshit prejudice.
	For example, Lord of the Flies.
	There was a real Lord of the Flies in off of Hawaii in Polynesia where these private school boys, 8, 9, 10, they got lost.
	They ended up on an island for like months.
	I think it was three months.
	They're eating bananas and coconuts and staying alive, staying out of the rain, avoiding tarantulas.
	And they all worked together and did a great job, and everyone was safe and happy.
	Who wrote Lord of the Flies again?
	Computer.
	Computer.
	Who wrote Lord of the Flies?
	William Golding.
	William Golding.org, Lord of the Flies is a 1960s.
	Shut up.
	Computer, shut up.
	But he had a real problem with kids.
	He didn't enjoy his childhood and he was malicious.
	So he made up a fake story.
	So you're smarter when you hear about the Polynesian story.
	You're dumber when you hear about William Golding's made-up bullshit.
	I want to be smarter.
	Human beings are about storytelling, protecting each other.
	I said to my daughter today, I was like, hear about that story of the new Rochelle kid who was stabbed.
	He went to Washington Square Park.
	Yeah.
	And he's smoking weed there at 2.30 a.m.
	What?
	So these other black kids come up to him and they say, Give us your weed.
	And he goes, No, fuck you.
	So they stab him in the head.
	Sorry to laugh, but that's an important story.
	Hey, honey, don't smoke pot.
	And if you're a suburban girl and you go down to the city, don't be out at 2 a.m. at any kind of park.
	And if someone comes up to you late at night and demands something, they're armed.
	You got to give it to them.
	Get the hell out of there.
	Don't be like, what up, bitch?
	Like Tess Owen, who was at Central Park.
	And she tried to buy pot, and they tried to rob her.
	She wouldn't give up the money.
	They ended up putting her in the headlock and stabbing her.
	She escaped three times and they kept stabbing her.
	Nicole Dufrine from Max Fish, the bar where I met my wife.
	She's walking home one night.
	Rudy Fleming points a gun at her.
	It's his Puerto Rican black kid.
	It's his uncle's gun he stole.
	Points it at her.
	She goes, what are you going to do?
	Shoot me?
	Shoots her dad.
	These are all important stories that people, especially young people, need to know.
	I don't want fake stories.
	I love that true crime is a thing.
	Thank you.
	Finally.
	Now, I saw the Kingsman last night, the new one.
	And dude, is this guy?
	I don't know, man.
	There's something weird going on with Proud Boys and Kingsman series.
	The guy who did it, forget his name, the writer-director, he just thought he was a normal scouser, a little working-class kid.
	Then he found out that his biological dad was actually like the great-great-grandson of King George.
	So he's actually an aristocrat.
	And that seems to be a theme in his movies where a working-class guy, normal kid, ends up being, you know, part of an elite force.
	But there's all these weird clues.
	So the first one, he's wearing a Fred Perry like the Proud Boys, which I could say, oh, well, he's clearly, it's an homage to us.
	But I think I may have got the Proud Boy shirt from that movie.
	Because Proud Boys came after the first Kingsman.
	But then the second Kingsman was all about bourbon.
	And it's at a bourbon distillery.
	Like Maker's Mark.
	That was weird.
	There was a bunch of others in the second one, too.
	I can't remember right now.
	And then last night I'm watching this.
	The bad guy's Scottish, right?
	And there seems to be all of these weird clues.
	Like he hates politicians.
	They're all scumbags, right?
	That's what we always say.
	He was saying, yes, we have had some sins in our past, but we're ready to be gentlemen now.
	Oh, the beginning is the Boer War and the crimes the English did to the Boers.
	Have you ever heard anyone mention what the English did to the Boers in 1900?
	No.
	That's my obsession.
	I know I sound like a fucking megalomaniac here, but at the very end, we see the Scottish guy who's running the bad guys, and he's wearing McInnis tartan on his pants.
	Now, that's a pretty rare tartan.
	And it's not that aesthetically appealing, my tartan.
	It's green.
	It's mostly green.
	And there's a scene where that guy, the good guy, cuts the Scottish guy's tartan leg, and they zoom in on the McInnis tartan.
	So either I'm a fucking megalomaniac, or this guy likes Proud Boys and is sneaking in homages.
	Now, the way you handle media, folks, if you're a liar, and I was tempted to do this, but I'm an honest person, you pretend that he really is a friend of mine and he can't say it publicly.
	And I pretend I'm snitching on him.
	And I pretend that I chose Proud Boys from the first movie, and then he agreed to send little nods and winks.
	And then that appears in leftist media as proof that Proud Boys are inexorably linked to everything from the White House, where Enrique Tario meets the president, to films like Kingsmen.
	And you let those rumors tumble around in the pop culture sphere.
	That's how to play the game.
	I just, I'm old and semi-retired.
	I don't feel like playing this game.
	You're not semi-retarded.
	That's not true.
	You're really smart.
	You're cunning.
	You're witty and creative.
	Don't ever say you're semi-retarded.
	Cunny, witty, and creative.
	That's how children talk.
	Cunny.
	That's like when I was 11 and I said, disco sucks.
	Talk is fun, cool, and exciting.
	Right.
	Cunning.
	What do you mean cunning?
	Have we ever escaped from something before?
	Were we locked up in a cabin by a madman and I managed to get out?
	Yeah, we've gotten out of some binds.
	No.
	Where in the movie?
	What have I done this?
	Tartan, cunning.
	What does cunning even mean?
	It means like bondish, like James Bond-esque.
	James Bondesque.
	Can you give me an example of me being James Bond-esque?
	You've done some Bondian things.
	Oh, sure.
	Then they should be easy to come up with.
	Well, there's so many that it's hard to just like all the reasons Trump's racist.
	Where to begin?
	Where's the Tartan scene again?
	It's at the end of the movie.
	We see the dance.
	All right, spoiler alert.
	It's not really a spoiler alert.
	You mean, you know there's going to be a hoedown with the main bad guy.
	But the bad guy's a hidden guy.
	But he has a Scottish accent, which, by the way, sucks.
	That's true.
	The Scottish accent reeks.
	You.
	Scots don't say you.
	They say you.
	Duh.
	Not ye.
	It's not Y-E-W-E.
	It's Y-O-U-H.
	There he is.
	You.
	Wait a minute.
	Is this a trailer?
	No.
	The full movie.
	Oh.
	How'd you get that?
	HBO Max.
	I'm signed in.
	Huh.
	Well, those are...
	Okay, so there you see the pants.
	You just gave away who the bad guy is, by the way.
	That's what I was saying.
	Spoiler, yeah.
	Okay, so that is a spoiler.
	Although you won't recognize him, so.
	Right.
	But look at that.
	That's McKinnon.
	You can look up McKinnis Tartan.
	Anyway, if I'm wrong, this is embarrassing.
	Oh, wow.
	No, I think you're right.
	No, that's not McKinnis Tartan.
	It's green.
	MCI.
	You don't want to spell my name?
	No, no, I have a keying on so I could do that green screen thing.
	There we go.
	Yeah.
	That's fucking wild.
	I mean, how many are there?
	There's a billion million tartans.
	And usually when you're showing tartan, you show red.
	That's the most aesthetically appealing.
	It's the classic one, the punks with the bondage pants.
	Like when I wore it, when I got my McKinnis Tartan for my wedding, I wore a tie and a pocket square that was McKinnis Tartan.
	I was like, I'd way rather have a red one, but oh well.
	Let's see if we could zoom in, enhance, and then put it back to back because I see the patterns are very similar.
	You got the double bold, like the dark colors.
	You realize that if I'm wrong, you're making this more embarrassing.
	That's fine.
	We just talked about the death of our friend, and I pivoted to discuss me and someone's pants.
	Right.
	Well, when you put it that way.
	All right, let's get serious here.
	You got that blue line.
	You got that dark line up there.
	I guess it's...
	I mean, how weird.
	It's very close.
	But if that is an homage, appreciate you, buddy.
	Thank you.
	Yet another scoop from Project Veritas.
	I contacted James.
	He didn't get back to me, but I was like, dude, let's just give PV a show.
	You don't have to be on it.
	And just, you have so much fucking news that you could be your own channel.
	You know?
	It would be like if there was a boxing channel that only talked about Mike Tyson's fights in the 80s at the peak of his career, you'd want to watch that.
	Mike Tyson TV.
	He's the Mike Tyson of news.
	And at least once a week, there's a major thing.
	So that's plenty of time for a show.
	So I'll pay you.
	And you just do the Project Very TAS update whenever there's a new one.
	And it doesn't have to be you.
	Anyone who works there.
	Oh, shit.
	Sorry.
	Go ahead.
	Anyone who works there, they have a studio there.
	So just sit down with your paper and tell us the latest.
	Anyway, Department of Justice was caught spying on journalists.
	Project Veritas journalists, to be specific, this is one too.
	He explains it best.
	Well before the FBI raided the homes of our journalists last November, secretly reading our emails, concealing that from the court in our case against the SDNY.
	This is a fundamental intolerable.
	I think the SDNY is a southern district of New York court, which is the one in Manhattan.
	There's the northern district, which I guess is Brooklyn, the southern district, which is Manhattan, or maybe I'm flipping those, but it's basically the justice system of New York.
	Abridgment of the First Amendment by the Department of Justice.
	In November 2021, the FBI raids our homes and seizes 47 electronic devices, including cell phones, laptops, and thumb drives.
	Within five days, U.S. District Court Judge Annalise Atoris ordered the Southern District of New York to pause its review of my devices, and within a month ordered the SDNY to turn our seized materials over to a special master who would supervise the SDNY's review to protect our First Amendment and journalistic privileges.
	Recently obtained legal documents from Microsoft Corporation reveal that despite Judge Torres' orders, between November 2020 and April 2021, the Department of Justice went to six magistrates and obtained a series of secret warrants,
	orders, and a subpoena to surreptitiously collect privileged communications and contacts of eight American journalists, myself included, from Microsoft.
	The DOJ even sought and obtained numerous secrecy orders preventing Microsoft from disclosing the surveillance to anyone.
	The SDNY also went around Judge Torres and the Special Master and obtained two secrecy orders after the Special Master had been appointed.
	Project Veritas is immediately filing a motion demanding that the federal government disclose if it engaged in culprit spying of our journalists by secretly demanding production of our protection.
	That our justice system has been infiltrated from the very bottom to the very top with affirmative action hires and liberals and Soros-funded shitheads.
	Like this footage I saw a long time ago of some guy with a flag and he was in New York City and he was mad about the COVID thing and he's saying this is not America.
	And the police were grabbing his flag, I guess treating it as a weapon.
	And I saw for a split second, I saw this fat black female cop grab it and then throw it to the ground.
	I saw her put her foot on the flag and stamp on it and twist her foot.
	Yep.
	And I thought, that's the kind of cop we got these days.
	And then we saw with Max and John's appeal, the judges, there was four of them.
	One was an Asian man.
	He left.
	And it was three black women who may be right, maybe left.
	But the odds are pretty high.
	A black female judge is going to be left-wing.
	And they were rolling their eyes and getting Max and John's cases reversed the whole time.
	And of course, their appeal was denied.
	Which brings us to justice and racism.
	Let's jump to our new interstitial, the racism interstitial.
	I can't remember.
	I'm a black female.
	What other different, what else could I have done to piss you off?
	Black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	So we've got a new judge, a pedophile adjacent judge who seems real friendly with the child porn guys.
	So we brought this up with Alex Jones on Friday after St. Pat's.
	Hey, what glasses am I wearing on that show, Ryan?
	Can you go to censored.tv homepage?
	It's funny when you lose your glasses, you're pissed off and you check a few normal spots, but then you have to go deep on the case.
	Wait, those are these, right?
	Yeah, they look to be those.
	Yeah, these are my big clown ones.
	I think I know where my glasses are.
	I slept in my son's bed on St. Patty's Day because he was in mommy's bed.
	That's where they mostly.
	Probably fell under the bed.
	Anyway.
	This judge bitch.
	As I brought up on Alex Jones' show, every time there was something with kitty porn, she would go either the bare minimum or below for the prosecution.
	So we're like, oh, good, you caught a pedophile.
	15 years, what do you got?
	And it was always like 10 months, 20 months, 16 months.
	And she's since had to defend that.
	It's become common knowledge now.
	It's out into the mainstream now that we're on up to Tuesday.
	Gav is always five days ahead.
	And ready for this defense?
	The reason I gave them such low sentences is because they were getting it downloaded.
	And I think getting actual photographs like mailed to your house of kiddie porn are much worse than downloading torrents of a thousand kiddie porn videos onto a hard drive.
	Okay, I'll give you that.
	I think it's about 0.001% worse.
	We're getting into the nuance of kiddie porn now.
	Why?
	So that should screw her up, right?
	I mean, Kavanaugh, they stormed the Capitol.
	No one was arrested for that, by the way.
	When liberals stormed the Capitol, it's fine.
	They stormed the Capitol to fight Kavanaugh.
	They said, believe all women, remember?
	The rumor was, by the way, not that he had raped someone.
	The rumor was that a couple were fornicating at a frat party and he jumped on them while nude, which he denied, and there's no evidence of that.
	But I got a, I'm sorry if this sounds sexist or rapist or whatever, but I've probably done that.
	It's funny.
	Sorry.
	Like, as long as you are not trying to get off and you're making everyone laugh.
	That's clearly not intimate lovemaking if they're upstairs at a party.
	And I would say jumping on them nude is hilarious.
	So he didn't do that, but that accusation enabled all of this lunacy, all of this madness, all these people freaking out.
	And he almost didn't get in.
	To which I kept saying to them, okay, you realize that we're going to play this game with you now.
	If random accusations from your college years can stop Supreme Court judges, we're going to pull them up too.
	But of course we don't because we're pussies.
	We are the wimps who always take the high road.
	So this woman is pro-pedophilia, for all intents and purposes.
	And what are they doing in the hearings?
	Licking her butthole so furiously it looks like it was bleached by a porn star.
	This woman is black and her anus looks like an albino cream donut.
	That's so fucking funny.
	So true.
	It's been licked clean.
	And here we have America's number one wigger, Corey Booker.
	I've got in big trouble at Fox News for calling him a wigger, but now that I have my own network, I can proudly say it.
	This guy grew up in an area that's so fucking white that his parents weren't legally allowed to buy the house.
	His parents are IBM executive intellectual super nerds, right?
	So they wanted to buy a really fancy mansion because they were rich.
	They're IBM engineers, executives.
	So they bought in the whitest neighborhood in New Jersey.
	This neighborhood, I forget the name of it, but if you Google image it, you see nothing but kayaks and insane mansions, like with Greek columns.
	They look like banks.
	Everyone's house in the town he grew up in looks like a bank.
	He never knew any black people, not one.
	When he was running for office, of course, he needed to invent one, so he invented a badass motherfucker named T-Bone.
	There we go.
	That's the homes where this wigger is from.
	There we go.
	That's what you do in his town.
	What's the name of the town?
	And it's one of the nicest places I've ever been.
	Number one, Corey Booker.
	Corey came from Harrington Park, New Jersey.
	Harrington Park.
	Welcome to Harrington Park.
	I do enjoy the city.
	I do enjoy Soho.
	But in the summers, the heat, the humidity, I have to get back to Harrington Park where I can kaya.
	I can canoe.
	This nigga wasn't raised in Harrington Park.
	He hails from Harrington Park.
	Oh, yeah.
	Straight out of Harrington Park.
	I hail.
	Motherfucker named Corey.
	Soft grass.
	Nice lawns.
	Oh, look, there's an apartment building there.
	That must be for the help.
	Oh, that's actually a resort.
	Sorry, sorry wrong again.
	Akin to a Jamaican resort.
	Looks like Sun City, doesn't it?
	Yeah.
	So, yeah, he invented a buddy named T-Bone.
	And then Charles Johnson went to his apartment in Newark, where he says he lived.
	There's two mattresses on the floor, no furniture, no nothing, and two detectives that just sleep there.
	It's a crash pad for cops and Corey's bodyguards.
	He doesn't live there.
	Whoops.
	He assaulted a gay man?
	Oh, well, I love him now.
	Sexually assaulting.
	Anyway, so the hearings are where we interrogate our future Supreme Court judges and ask them tough questions about their previous decisions, like why did you pardon so many pedophiles?
	Let's see what Corey has to say about her.
	Forgive me, I grew up in a small black church where I was taught.
	You grew up in a small black church?
	Is that your bedroom?
	Yeah, his parents worshipped him, so he called it black church.
	Forgive me, I grew up in a small black church where I was taught to make a joyous noise unto the Lord.
	And this is not a normal day for America.
	We have never had this moment.
	That sucks.
	He's Sean King.
	He's a compulsive liar.
	He like Googled black people.
	Joyous noise unto the Lord.
	He probably saw that in Sister Act 2.
	What a fucking poser.
	I officially am stating for the record today, Sean King is way more black than Corey Booker.
	Or half of these people in the White House.
	If this woman's face doesn't say everything, this woman all the way to the right.
	This motherfucker.
	Who the fuck?
	The preacher's hands on his back.
	He's like, now we don't know who this man is.
	But we love him.
	We welcome him into our church on day one.
	He is now going to pretend he grew up here.
	What a fake photo op.
	Oh, my God.
	You poser.
	This is what Barack Obama did, too.
	Remember?
	Yeah, dang.
	This cluster.
	This one's like, who the fuck?
	And then he's like, I can't believe this nigga just walked in.
	This motherfucker didn't show up here.
	Yeah, damn straight.
	I ain't buying it.
	I didn't want to stand next to him.
	But remember, Obama went to see that preacher who ended up being a big Farrakhan dude who was anti-Jew and caused all kinds of problems for Barack.
	Although it probably helped him with the black vote.
	You want to be around a controversial preacher if you're a black dude.
	Anyway, sorry.
	Get back to Corey.
	Probably going to pull out some chitlins and grits.
	Eric Holder, what are you pulling that up for?
	That's his Obama's.
	What's his name again?
	What's my name again?
	Jeremiah Wright.
	Wright.
	Yeah.
	Jeremiah Wright.
	4.
	And I just want to talk about the joy.
	I know tomorrow and the coming hearings, we're going to have tough, hard questions, but please let me just acknowledge the fact that this is not normal.
	It's never happened before.
	The Senate is poised right now to break another back barrier.
	We are on the precipice of shattering another ceiling, another glass serum.
	It's a ceiling.
	It's a sign that we, as a country, are continuing to rise to our collective cherished highest ideals.
	I just feel the sense of overwhelming joy in this.
	Forgive me, I grew up in a small black.
	You start trying to steal the spotlight.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Amazing.
	And I fucking hate this whole like first black woman Supreme Court bullshit, first Native American astronaut, because it implies that me and you were like, not on my watch, boy.
	And finally, this overqualified super genius.
	But the opposite is true.
	She got this gig because Biden said, find me a black woman.
	That's all I care about.
	And they go, we found this one.
	She seems real easy on child sex offenders.
	Ah, that makes her better.
	Maybe she can help me sniff some.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	See, if he was your dad and he was giving you shit for something, how would you not crack up?
	When you don't take out the trash and do the dishes, you make it very hard on you, me, and your mother.
	I trusted you.
	We had a pack.
	We had a deal.
	And it was one thing.
	It was garbage.
	And that garbage is still in the garage, rotting, stinking, reeking up my garage.
	I was doing a repair the other day down there, and the fly came by my face.
	Do you know why?
	Do you know why?
	Because that garbage was four days old.
	Now I'm going to be a fly around your ass.
	I could be a fly on your ass with a smile.
	Touching the mom's arm.
	Yeah.
	Or we can learn to heal with this explanation.
	You're not the first guy not to take out the garbage.
	And you won't be the last.
	I keep meaning to do that next time I see my dad.
	I want to yell at him like I'm in a movie.
	And so I'll be in Florida's apartment going, you don't think I'm scared?
	You think I wake up every day not knowing who I am or where I'm going?
	And look at you.
	Look at you sitting there like you never had the same fear.
	Oh, you're going diary of black woman.
	Yeah, I'm going to go diary of mad black women.
	Well, all movies are.
	Like, no one talks to each other like that.
	No one has ever in the real world yelled at another person, you don't think I'm scared?
	That's a great opener.
	You don't think I wake up every day not knowing if it'll be my last?
	The only thing that gets me through is knowing that you're more scared.
	In the army now.
	Oh, there's a recreation.
	I'm sorry.
	That was a good movie.
	No, I know, but here.
	Oh, I remember that scene.
	Yeah, there's a recreation of it.
	Feed him.
	Clothe him, they say.
	You're gay.
	What about Diary of a Mad Black?
	That's redundant.
	As opposed to what?
	What about me?
	Why did you do this?
	To make a funny scene already funnier?
	It's already parodied, sir.
	It is a parody.
	Free parody.
	What else do you do?
	Parody of Looney Tunes?
	Do you have a parody of Wile Coyote not catching up to the Roadrunner?
	You could make a heavier anvil fall on him?
	Did you think it was absurd when Wiley Coyote went through a cave wall and there was a silhouette of him?
	Look at the theatrics here, too, one six of this grueling hearing this poor woman is enduring and will endure.
	I don't even know if the hearing's begun.
	Yeah, it has.
	That's how we know her defense.
	Love how Katanji's hubby keeps crying.
	Unconditional love.
	Of course he's white.
	Is that his dad?
	Oh, he couldn't make it, so his dad came there.
	Incredible professional journey.
	None of this would be.
	You know what's fucked up about this clip?
	Stop.
	Her husband is the guy behind without the glasses.
	And the guy in the front is the guy who always wanted to fuck her and never got the chance.
	So the old guy's sick of her shit by now.
	And the young guy is like, I bought her shit.
	She said we were friends.
	I just wanted one blowjob.
	And then the daughter's looking at the guy going, you motherfucker.
	You ain't never going to fuck my mama.
	College more than three decades ago, and since then.
	She's laughing.
	No, yeah, she's like, hurt, don't it?
	You ain't never getting in there.
	Never.
	Never gonna happen.
	Cry, white man.
	And then the dad's like, chill.
	I'm white too.
	Father, and friend.
	Why is he sitting in front of me?
	Why did this guy that wants to fuck her get the first row?
	Why do they all have white husbands?
	For real, for real.
	Grueling.
	Grueling.
	Does Omar, Ilhan Omar's husband, he's white too, right?
	Yeah, he looks like a fat me.
	He looks like a proud boy.
	And then AOC's man is white.
	Yeah, they're all white.
	It's endless.
	Oh, wait, Ilhan Omar.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I know her.
	I think it's her brother.
	Her brother.
	Her brother was black.
	This is totally off topic, but it's still within the realm of racism.
	How annoying is this dude?
	Oh, he is white.
	Oh, yeah, that was her campaign guy.
	Wait.
	Just like AOC.
	He was working on her campaign.
	He left his wife for her.
	And her weird, like, rat hair.
	What the fuck?
	Anyway.
	What are you doing, dude?
	That's my first reaction when I hear anyone has fucked Ilhan Omar.
	Are you okay?
	What's wrong with you?
	Why did you fuck that?
	She's like a little rat from Ratatouille or something.
	Yeah.
	Oh, which reminds me of some Muslim stuff.
	Nice segue 2-0.
	Massive shooting in, was it Edmonton?
	We have a Islam thing.
	I don't think we've ever played it.
	Oh, we have our new Islam thing?
	Okay, let's bring it up.
	This is much.
	So where is this Urtail Lounge?
	I think it's in Edmonton, Alberta.
	Edmonton, Winnipeg, that area is fucking so cold.
	It's insane.
	And in the summer, the mosquitoes will pick up your child and you'll never see it again.
	Anyway, very tough, hard scrabble part of the country.
	And of course, they are importing Somalians out the wazoo.
	And it's not going great.
	So what's the media's solution?
	Hide it.
	Sweep it under the rug.
	This has received approximately zero coverage.
	I think we clearly have local coverage if they're calling the Urtail Lounge a place that they assume we all know.
	So we're as local as you can get here.
	Two men charged with first-degree murder in Urtail Lounge shooting.
	70 shots went off, by the way.
	Even that headline makes it look like, oh, there was probably some drug war and they killed a guy.
	No, it was a mass shooting.
	About a dozen people were injured.
	The police have videos guns being fired into a crowd of people outside the lounge Saturday morning, killing one man and leaving six other people injured.
	It was a massive rain of bullets.
	Edmonton.
	And by the sixth paragraph, you can read that two men, 23-year-old Said Ibrahim and 22-year-old Mohamed Mohammed.
	Muhammad Mohammed.
	If you're unfortunate enough to have the last name Muhammad, maybe don't make the first name Muhammad.
	Kind of cool to double down.
	Mohamed Mohamed.
	Is that pronounced Muhammad?
	Muhammad, Muhammad.
	Muhammad.
	It's phonetic.
	Why is there so many different spellings of Muhammad?
	Muhammad Muhammad.
	It's retarded to name your kid Jesus, but I guess some Mexicans do it.
	But Jesus, Jesus, is something not even Mexicans would do.
	That's like when Jesus does something weird.
	Like, Jesus, Jesus.
	Muhammad, Muhammad.
	So those two guys were arrested, and I think the guy you just showed, I think that's Saeed Ibrahim.
	But they look Muslim, and they clearly are.
	And we're totally ignoring it.
	What's 2-1?
	No, they're looking for Said.
	That's it.
	We're not importing the best, our best, are we?
	Go to 2-1.
	The post-millennial, of course, is brave enough to cover it.
	See 60 or 70 shots fired.
	Nowhere else are you seeing that number.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Can you imagine if MAGA guys shot up a black bar anywhere in the world and 60 or 70 shots were fired?
	Confirmation that we have a MAGA problem.
	Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.
	And then, of course, Justin Trudeau was mortified to discover there was an attack on a synagogue.
	2-2.
	Was it a synagogue or a mosque?
	I think it was a mosque, actually.
	What's this tweet loading up?
	The attack on congregants.
	Yeah.
	At the Dar al-Tawheed Islamic Center is incredibly disturbing, says Justin Trudeau.
	I strongly condemn this violence, which has no place in Canada.
	Ooh, they love saying no place.
	Hate has no home here.
	This violence has no place in my country.
	And I'm keeping the community in my thoughts today.
	I also want to applaud the courage of those who were there this morning.
	And then our UK's Douglas Murray, who's now at the New York Post, points out that the attacker was a fucking Muslim named Muhammad.
	The way they are framing this information is just downright disturbing.
	24-year-old man Mohammed Moise Omar arrested for possible hate following an attack on the mosque.
	No one kills more Muslims than Muslims.
	No one hates Sunnis more than Shiites.
	All their little inner tribal bullshit.
	We gave them a whole country, Pakistan.
	And what do they do?
	They're constantly at war in Kashmir, trying to move the border south.
	They're insatiable.
	And speaking of fake news, let's jump over to COVID, shall we?
	We shall.
	Let's do it.
	Fuck.
	We haven't talked about COVID in a while, and it links to this fake news.
	We've got a good segue, good series of segues going here.
	So you just pull it.
	Public health restrictions, the blockade of our crew, our democracy, and our fellow citizens leading lives.
	Double back.
	That means you're gay.
	I still think that fall was fake.
	Just one story in this one.
	Eric Adams here in New York is still saying he wants kids to be masked up, and the CDC says it accidentally inflated children's COVID death numbers in a coding logic error.
	And the president's son says, let's call him the president from now on.
	Should we do that?
	Or is that just going to confusing?
	President Jr.
	No, Trump is President Trump.
	Yes.
	Oh, yeah.
	And we'll call Biden Mr. Magoo.
	That's great.
	The president's son says, does anyone actually believe this?
	Or do they believe it is used to drive the narrative?
	And I would argue that the reason that kids are being forced to wear masks is because we can force kids to do shit.
	This is why gay TikTokers, teachers are pushing around kids and telling them they have to wear masks because kids make easy prey.
	And if blacks didn't freak out every time you said the N-word and Muslims didn't blow up your building every time you printed Muhammad cartoons, they'd be victims too.
	But kids can't fight back, so that's the new target, folks.
	We've got pedophile Supreme Courts and fucking SNLs, nothing but incest and child rape jokes.
	Because you can.
	So it's our job to protect the children.
	Anyway, final thing on stuff.
	We don't have a Ukraine thing here, but we haven't talked about it in a sec.
	But I just want to focus on the fake news of Ukraine.
	Like 2.6, people are saying this is a green screen.
	The background is too static.
	And you'll notice that his arm at the beginning of it glitches out.
	Now videos glitch, but it is strange that an arm can become temporarily transparent in the first second.
	And then even when there's a backdrop that's just like a night, a government building at night, there's flickering of lights, there's blowing of wind, there's stuff.
	Is the video there too?
	What's that music?
	It's a Russian Doomcore.
	Yeah, dude.
	It's fishy.
	The lighting is inaccurate.
	And look at the perspective.
	What does he go upstairs here?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The first couple seconds says everything.
	Yeah, there's his arm disappearing.
	There you go.
	Even more arms disappearing right there.
	Yeah, it looks like he's going up a ramp.
	That's incongruent with the geography.
	Yeah, they got the perspectives wrong.
	You're right.
	That is a still shot.
	And as someone who does green screens almost every day, that's not how it like the beginning looks exactly like me walking onto the green screen.
	Go back to the beginning, besides the perspective.
	Yeah.
	I can't really explain it.
	And then, of course, there's the totally stagnant background.
	Right.
	Like, those lights are meant to do something.
	Not flicker on and off, but have some sort of organic movement to them.
	Yeah, it's almost an undetectable, if it's not there, you'll notice it.
	Yeah.
	Type of thing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's a picture.
	Absolutely.
	They got real lazy with that.
	You could just, you could film that background for a while and have a video background.
	Maybe Russians and Ukrainians are used to really shitty TVs.
	Oh, yeah, well, yeah.
	And then 2.7, see, my dad, this is what I've had a fight with my dad about where he's like, that's a conspiracy theory.
	Like, okay.
	Oh, yeah.
	This isn't fake news, but he has a $35 million house in Miami, right?
	And I saw someone say, there's no such thing as a $35 million house in Miami.
	What?
	I'm like, what?
	So I looked it up, and here they are.
	They're all around.
	The cheapest home on this map is $30 million.
	So where is, which one of these is Zelensky's?
	This poor hard Scrabble president in the t-shirts who's just trying to get by and help his people?
	He also has a $40 million house.
	Like, I don't think Barack Obama's, I think Barack Obama's house is like $5 million.
	And he's a brutally corrupt despot.
	So doesn't looking at these homes sort of change your perspective on Zelensky at least a little bit?
	That's a nice one.
	Oh.
	And then 2-8, this is a really weird one for the nerds.
	But I love this kind of shit.
	The electrical outlet in Zelensky's hospital visit video is a three-pronged type E, which is used in Poland and Israel.
	Ukraine uses types C and F, both two-pronged.
	This raises the possibility that he's not even in Ukraine at this point.
	Poland?
	Just speculation at this point.
	Pretty interesting, huh?
	Bashi Shviyard.
	Huh.
	huh?
	Anyway, as I was saying yesterday, this is the problem with getting involved in these kind of things.
	You don't know the culture.
	You don't know how much lies are part of their scene.
	If we're playing his lawyer, I'm saying my client was at the embassy visiting for the day because of reasons we can't.
	Why would an embassy have different electricity?
	Well, because people that are visiting, they might have the plugs from their native land.
	Yeah, it's called adapters.
	You don't start a whole new power grid for one building, you boob.
	Detective shitty is on the case.
	Play the Detective Shitty thing.
	We haven't seen this in a while.
	That's because I've been right a lot.
	Niet.
	Niet.
	We've seen this.
	No, it's not coming, but tonight Kevin is wrong and Ryan is right.
	What the fuck is that?
	I've been sitting on that for a while, but it hasn't come up yet.
	It's not going to come up.
	Might as well just play it.
	That's the only time you're going to see it.
	But was that a deep fake of me and you on some black and white guys?
	Or is that just they found two actors?
	What's the beginning?
	It does look like me, and that does look like you.
	It's off, though.
	Yeah.
	I think they have a real black guy and a real white guy, and then they deep faked our fake.
	My beards never looked like that.
	Right.
	Good.
	Oh, I think it's just the nose and eyes.
	Yeah, it's a program where you could plug it in.
	That one, I don't think they're even trying.
	No, no, that's your nose and eyes on a chick.
	That sucks.
	Okay, that's a lot of heavy shit.
	We had a lot of news to catch up on.
	Let's lighten it up.
	Can you get Crip Daddy on the line?
	Oh, my gosh, of course I. He showed me something so weird today.
	Now, he's our go-to guy for all things young people.
	That's how politically correct we are.
	We don't go to him for gimp shit.
	But it's for gimp shit.
	So you can pull up these pictures, Ryan.
	He shows me this picture.
	It's some ugly nerd who's saying, my man cuts my waffles or whatever for me.
	Yeah.
	Look at that guy.
	When I was young, a guy in an Ed Edoneti shirt, there's no way he was going to get any pussy or be called daddy.
	In my day, you had to play bass and motorhead to be called daddy.
	But it gets worse.
	When my daddy cuts my French toast for me, now go to the next one.
	She's Princess Cum Kitty, right?
	You.
	So she just is there to fallate him.
	Hey, look, it's me.
	I usually cut up kittens' food, but I always ask her just in case she ever wants to be a big girl.
	I love you little bitches.
	Okay, so the young daddy is getting all the poon.
	And now what's this next one before we talk to Donovan?
	There's another one.
	Basically, he says, I should have never made her eat the doo-doo.
	She'll never come back.
	Everything we shared was for fucking nothing.
	It's all over because of a little doo-doo.
	Now, this goes back to 2014.
	Donovan, please help me understand.
	Do you know these people?
	No, I don't, unfortunately.
	But I know types of people like this.
	So is she at least fat and ugly?
	What's your definition of fat?
	Her gut hangs an inch over the front of her belt.
	Okay, then yeah, she's fat.
	So are young people feeding each other feces?
	Is that what's happening in your world?
	Yeah, all the time.
	How do you think that happened?
	And this one is eating the poop all over the place.
	What is going on here?
	Princess come, kitty?
	Like, when I was young, a nerd like that would never get within 100 miles of a cunt.
	Oh, dude, it's so weird.
	The kinkiest people are the weirdest, grossest.
	Like, you wouldn't want it.
	I got invited to an orgy at a comic bookstore.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And what did they want you to do there?
	Remember them?
	Right?
	I was more disgusted at the fact that they asked me.
	You're into some real weird shit.
	What are you, you disgusting perverts?
	Yeah.
	Didn't you have some chick who wanted to pee on you?
	I mean, have you pee on her?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I didn't think that the pee and poop thing was like real.
	I thought it was all kind of a joke to a certain degree.
	Like, I didn't realize that actual normal people will just casually ask, like, will you pee on me?
	I mean, I'm pretty open-minded sexually.
	I just, this is very advanced stuff.
	Like, this should be for 45-year-old diplomats.
	That's what I mean.
	In a dungeon, you know?
	But no, like, it's a waffle.
	It's young.
	It's weird.
	I'm confused.
	So are young people getting laid like crazy?
	I thought everyone was an incel and all the girls are on OnlyFans.
	It depends on the group you're in, but for the most part, yeah.
	Once you're fresh out your mom's womb, it's like if you're not fucking, you're nobody.
	So at your school, like when you were in high school, everyone say 16.
	What percentage of those 16-year-olds are virgins?
	So I was good friends with the school nurse, and they did a thing every once in a while to get like blood for the blood drive, and it got kids out of class, so everybody donated blood.
	And I remember her telling me the year I was graduating, they weren't allowed to use 40 to 60% of the blood that was donated.
	So I think that should answer your question.
	That is amazing.
	Yeah.
	I guess it's porn, right?
	It has to be something.
	I love it, and I'm fucked up.
	Yeah.
	I don't understand.
	All right.
	Well, thanks for coming on the show and updating us about your disgusting generation and all the horrible things they do where 60% of their blood is infested with fucking AIDS and common venereal warts.
	Yeah.
	yep.
	If you ever need any tips on how to piano woman, though, let me know.
	I got you.
	Okay.
	Thanks, Crip.
	See you next week on Monday.
	Yep.
	Bye, buddy.
	Bye.
	I don't know what to think.
	Did you know those names?
	Who is that couple you just showed?
	Oh, just a rando.
	I typed in gamer couple.
	We got to get not just Crip Daddy, but we got to get in touch with some 19, 20-year-olds.
	Like Zoomer-ish.
	I'm getting mixed signals.
	I have the OnlyFans and the incels.
	I understand that.
	It's terrible.
	It's a tragedy, but at least I can wrap my mind around it.
	But then you also have ugly nerds eating each other's assholes.
	That is interesting.
	So you're either incel or like a nearly retired porn star.
	What?
	What are you guys up to?
	I care.
	I want to help, but I got to figure out what the fuck you're up to first.
	And of course, we'll have to break this down racially because I'm sure Midwestern white 19-year-olds have a totally different lifestyle than the kids in the Bronx.
	Dude, the kids in this neighborhood, the way they cross the street is so aggro.
	I shouldn't say kids.
	Every single person in the Bronx.
	You're driving and they start walking at you to the point where if I was to slam on the brakes, they'd bump into my door.
	It's like an aggro thing.
	I dare you to hit me.
	World.
	Like, I'm just going to, my knee's just going to nick your back bumper as I cross the street.
	Because I'm in that much of a hurry and I'm that much of a daredevil.
	And I'm just like, you're making me veer away from you into opposing traffic.
	She eats the poo-poo.
	I love it when he cuts up the fence toast for me to eat.
	The other thing that's driving me nuts, last week it was the giant eyelashes.
	This week it's these Tuskegee bomber things all black guys are wearing.
	Even black boxers at the gym are boxing with this thing on.
	It must be so hot.
	And now there's a fancy fake Dior one.
	But you look like an imbecile.
	You look like a South Park Kenny or a baby being born.
	It's the least flattering way to frame your face like this and just walking around like with shorts and a t-shirt on and this on.
	Hey, what's up?
	I don't even know what that's called.
	It's not a balaclava.
	Balaclava.
	What the fuck is this?
	I'm officially at that age where I just walk down the street like Larry David going, what is that?
	I understand if you're on a skadoo and you got your helmet on, you don't want to mess up your hair, maybe we could talk.
	But just like boxing, walking around, fixing your car, what is on your fucking head?
	Let's hit the mailbag.
	By the way, guys, stop sending emails to my personal email.
	I don't read them.
	My personal email is for me to send emails to myself so I can know what stories to talk about.
	Otherwise, I don't look at it.
	It's spam.
	It's garbage.
	The address for mail is mailbag at censored.tv.
	Let's check in on Joe Biggs' give, send, go, by the way, while we're here.
	I'll read this while you do that.
	This is from Justin.
	He says, Gavin, I've tried the sex strike before, and it does not work.
	Seven?
	$75?
	That's great.
	I think we went up two grand yesterday.
	Wow.
	Thanks, everybody.
	I think we did yesterday what we did all last week.
	Now, that is impressive.
	This is a number we can get with.
	Again, every little bit counts.
	And you know what else counts with these fundraisers?
	The number of people who donate.
	So if you only have 10 bucks, that's very relevant because it's the 10 bucks, but it's also the fact that all these people give a shit.
	That keeps you alive in there.
	You know, when I sued the SBLC, we raised a quarter mil, but what I found more consequential was it was from 30,000 donations.
	That's 30,000 people saying, fuck you.
	I hate you to the SBLC.
	This gentleman says, I do not recommend this tactic.
	I've been married for 13 years.
	Well, I've been married for, oh shit, I've only been married for 15.
	I've known her for 22.
	And in this time, I've tried the sex strike, hoping that one night after not having sex for months on end, my wife will be so horny that she'll jump on top of me and use my penis as her living dildo.
	It has never happened.
	She just diddles her bean and falls asleep long after I've passed out.
	She refuses to tell me when she masturbates because she tells me that it'll only make me horny.
	It pisses me off to no end.
	We sleep in the same goddamn bed, mere inches from each other, and she can't wake me up to say, I'm horny and ready to go.
	Her excuse is that she's always too tired.
	She has to make the kids lunches.
	She has to take the kids to ballet and soccer practice.
	So I step in and I help with all those tasks, thinking that this will make her appreciate me and then maybe want to have sex.
	I even watch her stupid fucking shows and it doesn't work.
	The man always has to initiate sex.
	It is a game of trial and error.
	I try 35 times and maybe on the 36th time, she will reciprocate because she happens to be in the mood and all the climatological conditions are correct.
	Come on, man.
	If she even suspects that one of the kids might wake up, she's a cold fish.
	Yes, that drives me nuts.
	You made a sketch about this for Christ's sake.
	Women are not as horny as men.
	It's a terrible fact of life.
	My wife and I are going to marital counseling to see if we can rev up the engine a little bit because I'm tired of this shit.
	I got to say, buddy, every single person I know who went to marriage counseling ended up divorced.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
	Hey, Gav, you wondered out loud on your last episode if deaf and blind people had a higher suicide rate.
	Turns out your instinct was correct.
	Mental illness often coincides with deafness, and blindness too, presumably.
	And if you've ever had a family member who's lost their hearing, you'll be familiar with how bad it fucks up their day-to-day functioning.
	This is probably why the gay suicide is.
	I've been trying to figure out why gays talk weird and a scientific explanation.
	The best I can come up with is they have more estrogen, so they sound more like women.
	But I watched this, I'm almost done it, but I'm watching this documentary, Do I Sound Gay?
	And in it, there's just, it's like Don Lamont is in it, and Dan Savage.
	And there's just so many homos going, who cares?
	So what?
	You should be proud of who you are.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Can we get down to the science, please?
	Homo?
	Hey, Gavin, did you know the newest justice on SCOTUS is basically the bitch of the court?
	I did not know this.
	He means literally.
	They get hazed and have to be on cafeteria duty.
	They get coffee for the other justices, hold the chamber door open, and basically keep their mouth shut during hearings.
	This was Elena Kagan's job for six years before Gorsik was confirmed.
	How do you think Kentanji Brown Jackson is going to do fetching coffee for the likes of Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett?
	I guarantee they won't do that to her.
	Because it'll feel slavey.
	They'll chicken out.
	Yeah, they'll be like, no, no, no.
	It's all right.
	I got it.
	I got it.
	Yeah, it's happened to me a million times.
	I abused all interns, and then they slowly earned their way into my good books.
	But the black girls are like, fuck this shit.
	I'm not your slave, bitch.
	Or as one of them said, I've told you the story 100 times, she left a note crumpled up in the intern desk that says, why do they keep giving me these stupid, boring jobs?
	Don't they, hasn't 400 years of history taught them I'm worth something more?
	She wrote that note to herself, presumably, then crumpled it up and left it in the desk.
	Is that the deodorant one?
	No.
	She was pretty cool.
	Okay.
	Her dad died, so she had some substance.
	Right.
	That's a good reason for leaving as a black father.
	Gavin, are you betting on the Mets to win Moneyline or just the game?
	Please don't bet the Mets only that it's next level retard.
	Too late.
	I've already done this.
	I'm betting the Money Line is just to win the game.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	I'm not betting on anything weird, points or anything.
	So say they're playing the Yankees that I win, I'll probably win 120.
	Say they're playing the Padres during a losing streak, I might just win 80.
	So I'm still not down, but I'm not as up as 100.
	I am never going to financially recover from that.
	Well, we're going to have a little counter in the screen, Ryan.
	You can make this.
	So the Mets bet.
	And it'll say games won, games lost.
	And then it'll have my total with the dollar sign on the correct side.
	And it'll be negative or positive.
	Got it?
	The Mets bet.
	Maybe put it in a circle in Mr. Mets' head or something.
	And then games won, games lost.
	And then below that, you don't have to write the word total.
	Just have the number.
	And you'll just send me $200 or negative $100 or.
	Totes.
	Possibly negative $16,000.
	Ouch.
	But have you noticed the tone here of every letter I get always?
	Everyone's an expert.
	You're just, that is next level retard or don't do the sex strike.
	It won't work.
	You don't know what you're doing.
	I've been married 13 years.
	I've been married since 2005.
	What's that?
	17 years?
	So why are you the expert?
	Like, you don't think I've been around?
	And you don't think the downside of this bet has occurred to me?
	Fuck Wad?
	Oh, this is a good one.
	Crime and justice reporter Jonathan Cho was fired by Como, KOMO, for today, for posting videos on Twitter promoting a Proud Boys march in Olympia, unapproved coverage of the weekend rally, and not meeting KOMO's editorial standards.
	If you follow his Twitter feed, his video reports shed a spotlight on street crime, the homeless disaster that is Seattle.
	Reports of numerous encampments and the loitering drug usage, filth, and destruction happening in the downtown Seattle area.
	So yeah.
	They just turf him.
	Keep going down?
	Wait.
	Maybe we'll see what got him turfed.
	Oh, look, he's not even phased.
	He's just still doing all his work.
	Jonathan Cho, like, he's not going to fucking stop reporting.
	So he didn't say there's a Proud Boys rally.
	We got to check it out and support them.
	He just said, the Proud Boys are having a rally on this date.
	I'll be reporting on it.
	That's not supporting the Proud Boys.
	Go back to that initial link.
	Go down.
	Keep going.
	This is a weird format to write in.
	I'm a journalist.
	If there was a Klan rally and a crossburning Seattle Center or a Black Panther march, I would cover it.
	My job is to present all sides, not just the one that aligns with my values or worldview.
	That's crazy talk.
	Dear gaping McCann and Grand Poodong of the Fag Zone, Ryan last week was trying to queer splain you the situation with the transgender character on the new season of Survivor, which confused you.
	Let me fag splain it so it actually makes sense.
	I guess he's saying he's gay if he's fag splitting, right?
	Man splaining is when a man explains something to you.
	Yes.
	There have been a few trainings on the show the last few years, some of whom have famously been the victim of scandalous forced outings.
	These aren't your Walmart trainees.
	The producers try to find the least ambiguous ones almost as a, ooh, you thought this was a man.
	Think again, bigot, to the audience.
	The most recent one, Jackson, looks like a built Texas dad.
	Low voice, stout, full beard, very masculine features, and bald as a baby's bum.
	He told a sob story, blah, blah, blah.
	Turns out Jackson did not disclose the producers that he has prescribed lithium for anxiety, which apparently can have some disastrous side effects when combined with dehydration.
	He was pulled from the show for this reason, much to the chagrin of the trans community.
	You haven't explained shit, by the way, guy.
	Thanks for fag explaining this.
	The show used to be bass, but is now totally cucked.
	The host even changed his signature catchphrase from, come on in, guys, to come on in.
	Yep.
	Do you watch that show?
	This would be my...
	Tomorrow's the second one that I'm watching.
	I've watched some old ones with her, but we're in the new season now.
	Second episode tomorrow.
	Jackson is no more.
	Yeah, yeah.
	No, he made like speeches like, I know it's racially shitty to say this or gender insensitive to say this, so we're going to say that.
	Like he's had to like do a bunch of those things.
	For the record, folks, I don't have to tell any baby monsters this, but guys just means group of people.
	And if you have a problem with it, that's a great indicator that you're a piece of shit.
	Hey, Gavin, this is probably too long to be down there.
	I've heard you say it a million times and quite a bit recently that you believe people are born gay.
	Now, he does add, I think you're wrong.
	It's very rare we get a letter where they go, I think, instead of you are wrong.
	But he goes, in order for a person to be born gay, it has to be assumed that they are gay before they can read, watch TV, or learn about homosexuality from an older person.
	He or she would have some gay genetics.
	That theory doesn't work because you can't pass on the gay gene because gay people don't reproduce.
	First of all, you don't know that gay people don't reproduce.
	The guy could have just been holding it in.
	And secondly, can you be spontaneously born with something that isn't necessarily from your parents?
	Yeah, I know of a couple where they're not remotely cousins by any stretch of the imagination.
	They're from different parts of America, no similar background.
	But unfortunately, the combination of their DNA reproduces some of the traits that you see in inbred children.
	Nothing serious, but his daughter can't break down protein, just like a diabetic can't break down sugar.
	So they have to feed her like a meatball this big a day.
	That's all she can handle.
	And when they go to the clinic, it's all Hasidic Jews in the waiting room because they're the only other people that have this same weird affliction.
	So that's a spontaneous thing that wasn't passed down and came out of nowhere just with the combination.
	And I mean, it's like Margaret Show says, if you think gay is something you can become, you're gay.
	I showed you on the other show me sucking my first dick and my 1,000th dick.
	They're both equally unpleasant to me.
	You don't get into the groove.
	Okay, this is an interesting video, but we don't have time to show it on the show.
	How BlackRock's algorithm, Aladdin, works to own most of the planet.
	Now, I watched this, and I recommend you do too.
	It's really well done.
	Pretty fun editing.
	And Ryan, you can pull it up any day this week.
	I'm on the one.
	It's another tagged one?
	Yep.
	I already told you the subject, too.
	How BlackRock's algorithm, Aladdin, works to own most of the planet.
	It has a purple flag on it.
	And I don't know why you're still having trouble with your mail after we already went through this yesterday.
	From now on, you have to devote the rest of your day to fixing the problems from that actual day.
	Crap.
	So all the other ones showed up there.
	Oh, got it.
	BlackRock.
	So zoom out so they can see this.
	It's by the Big Awakening Cube.
	And then just play the first, like, 20 seconds.
	Wait, go back to the beginning, yo.
	What if I told you there is a robot that controls more wealth than any country on Earth?
	A robot so powerful that in the last 10 years it has quietly created the biggest company in the world.
	This is the story of a robot called Aladdin.
	It's Wall Street's best kept secret and it's gobbling up every asset class across every industry.
	Aladdin now controls $21 trillion of our global economy.
	To put that in perspective, that's more than the $20 trillion GDP of the US or the $15 trillion GDP of the entire European Union.
	The news statesman wrote, The total physical cash of all 7 billion people and every company, bank vault, wallet and piggy bank in the world is around $5 trillion.
	Aladdin has grown into a system responsible for more than four times the value of all the money in the world.
	This one robot directs the actions of the US Federal Reserve, almost every major bank, an investment fund on Wall Street, and over 17,000 traders.
	It controls half of all ETFs, 17% of the bond market, 10% of the global stock market, and carries out a quarter of million trades every day and billions of forecasts every week.
	Year after year, it hoovers up trillions of data points.
	Anyway, when you're feeling smart, you can go check that out on your own time.
	Hey, Gavin Rai, I was recently listening to Can Ask You a Question.
	I was really enjoying it until I realized that all these wafes had X'd you.
	Fuck it.
	It really put a sour spin on things for me.
	Screw these celeb tards.
	You're better off without them.
	Hmm.
	Yeah, I guess.
	I mean, like, say someone like Justin Thoreau, if he was my buddy still, and we were photographed together, I think his career would be over.
	Can you blame him?
	Like David Cross, his friend said, if he's at the next Christmas party, we're not going.
	So now his Christmas parties are just me and him.
	I don't know.
	I wouldn't do it, but I'm not saying it should have killed it, but I understand.
	He wears a fedora.
	You could do better.
	Oh, he does a lot of terrible things.
	When I was at my best friend Jennifer Anison's House, we're having breakfast.
	He has on white track pants, like blinding white, brand new, white sneakers that are like Gucci, right?
	No socks, no shirt, sunglasses, and a white baseball hat in his home in the kitchen nook.
	That's like the, thank you for, I like your new sunglasses, the outfit.
	I go, dude, what are you doing?
	I was outraged.
	I'm like, you're in your own home.
	Why are you sexy?
	Are you hoping to seduce me?
	Why is your shirt off with your little sneakers on?
	Like, fuck it.
	She's meanwhile, just got a robe on, nothing else.
	She's less of a bitch than him.
	Hey, guys, I've started to say it, but I think we like Mad Gavin better than Goofy Gavin.
	When your wife isn't fucking you, when your daughter's having troubles, when your son is bawling up to you, all these things give us the pissed-off Glaswegian look.
	Both Gavins are awesome, but I prefer this one.
	Fuck you.
	I hate you.
	There you go.
	I always hear you guys complain about DuckDuckGo.
	Yes, it sucks, and you end up going and searching through Google.
	I probably sent you something before you made the comment, but use StartPage.
	It runs what you search through Google and gives you the responses back, acting as a middleman.
	We're actually using Start Page on this computer over here to the right.
	Oh, really?
	Yep.
	How'd you hear about it?
	Our other tech guy.
	Let me look up Holodummer.
	I was told I pronounced that wrong.
	Oh, we got plenty of stuff.
	Ukrainian famine.
	A little warning here.
	Start page supports the people of Ukraine and their access to information.
	See how to support here.
	I'm okay with that.
	With that?
	That's great.
	You know, it's fudged up, but my favorite mail app, Spark, they were based in Ukraine.
	They started out there.
	And so they're no longer taking Russian customers.
	They've denied the Russian people.
	Which is pretty messed up.
	And their ratings page.
	Let me see if I can go to the app store.
	Everybody's pissed about it.
	They're like, what the fuck are you doing that for?
	War is painful.
	War is stupid.
	War is not cunning.
	War is not creative.
	War can never be won.
	And most of all, war is gay.
	Damn.
	I had no idea you were going to take it there.
	Okay, last one.
	Retarded illiterate teachers beyond cringe.
	This sort of relates to yesterday's show.
	And we are featured after an Oregon school banned Pride and BLM flags.
	These two middle school counselors responded with this TikTok.
	And let's turn it up.
	Why do they all look exactly the same?
	They always look like that one in the front.
	So she's clearly a lesbian bed death dyke.
	But go back.
	Did you notice anything weird about that?
	Click on the actual video, right?
	What do you think is shocking about that?
	You see a mistake anywhere?
	It's backwards?
	Nope.
	That's just what cameras do.
	Did she use her pointer finger?
	The one in the back use your pointer finger?
	Yeah?
	But that's not it?
	She's not trying to give the fuck you.
	She's going, yeah, yeah.
	Well, the one in the front's doing the middle finger.
	Okay.
	But the one in the back is not.
	That's okay.
	I'll give you a clue.
	There's a typo.
	Oh, allowed.
	Allowed.
	The letter says.
	Wow.
	Wait, teacher typos is...
	They're the worst typos there are.
	It's an uber reel phenomenon.
	Yee.
	They shouldn't be having typos because they teach people.
	Correct.
	Okay.
	Dear Gavin, Maddie, and Chinky Hendrix, Ryan's impressions are my favorite part of the show.
	His Jesse Lee Peterson Amazon.
	Gets me every time.
	I recently heard an Amaidan impression of Anthony Bourdain.
	I was wondering if Ryan could add it to his repertoire.
	Okay, that's a good one to end.
	That seems tough, man.
	I'll have to give it a shout.
	Well, he does.
	Anthony Bourdain does like an NPR, like, do do do.
	So we went to this and we checked this out and we saw some stuff.
	That's the taste of the easy thing.
	In Malaysia, there are three places you can eat.
	Is he Jewish?
	Because he's got the kind of Jewish low voice, like nasally kind of like.
	So we went to Thailand and we.
	Yeah.
	That's not how he sounds at all, but okay.
	Help me Obi-Wan.
	Wow.
	You're my only hope to be the perfect guest at a meal built for two on the frozen planet of Hoth.
	And when we made this movie, using Anthony Bourdain again was great because we invested so much money in his hologram and we said, this is going to be fantastic.
	And Disney is happy about that.
	After dinner, where he enjoyed his tea inside a warm taunton.
	Yum, yum, yum, on these incredible snowbeast delicacies that are only found here at sub-zero temperatures.
	I invite you all to Hearts Unknown off.
	Luca is also up for best animated feature.
	Wait, you missed the middle guy?
	No, he did a little bit.
	Oh, I missed it then.
	It just sounds like a regular guy.
	But I mean, he nailed it, but it's hard to be like, oh, I'm listening.
	Yeah, so Brudain's parents were atheists.
	So as far as I'm concerned, he's not Jewish.
	He's never been to a synagogue.
	It's a religion, sorry.
	So this is the spark at.
	If you're interested, leave them a bad review.
	Say, we don't want politics.
	Because that's what a lot of people are saying.
	Because they're not allowing Russians?
	Yeah, that's just wrong.
	My favorite is the Russian pianist who's like 13 years old, and he's a prodigy, and he's not allowed to play piano with the Montreal Philharmonic.
	Like he gives a fuck about the war.
	Right.
	These same people were so outraged by internment camps, and they can't wait to incorporate their own.
	All right, let's hit the final video.
	I threw out my fifth pair of underwear.
	I threw out my fifth care of underwear, actually.
	Sorry, is me shitting my pants almost every three days boring?
	Well, it's...
	I mean, my clock going off every time it's supposed to, like clockwork, is boring too.
	No, I didn't used to shit my pants that much.
	It was more like once every six months.
	We're now like three a week.
	I think it's this gorilla mode.
	Oh, well, yeah.
	Caffeine's a major diuretic.
	I should a lot.
	So maybe.
	And I had a, yeah, I had a fart and I was like, here we go.
	And then I didn't get the p to it.
	It just sort of went.
	And then I thought, I brainwashed myself and I went, no, it went.
	And then I stood up and I felt moisture on my butt cheeks and I was like, for crying out fucking loud.
	Then I run to the bathroom and there is basically fluorescent orange Gatorade with a few boogers in it.
	And then it's not like I shoot out a load into the toilet.
	What I get in the toilet is like a tablespoon of oatmeal.
	Yeah.
	Just sand, actually.
	It's more sand.
	So like, what was the big deal?
	Anyway, yesterday I said that sewing machines are voodoo.
	They defy physics.
	And if you ever see one, you should smash it with a baseball bat.
	Also, people who do rock walls, paving stones, whatever these are called, they also defy physics.
	And these people should be killed, burned alive because they are voodoo men.
	I don't understand how the fuck this works.
	And they do it all the time.
	And it's kind of dumb to do because you forgot the mortar, so you have to lift them all up again.
	But I understand this part.
	Right?
	Gotcha, dominoes.
	That's easy peasy.
	We're crystal clear here.
	What?
	Yeah.
	How do the...
	The rocks are like this.
	How do they go like that?
	This guy explains it.
	This is a thing that I just stumbled upon recently.
	Okay, here we go.
	Three, two, one.
	So gratifying to hear that.
	This is called the double domino effect.
	Okay.
	Let me explain how it works.
	Whenever you're ready.
	When this brick hits this one and then they fall and slide, as long as it lands within one inch of the edge, what will happen is that as soon as this brick pivots and turns to Palazzo, then this brick will now fall perfectly snug in with the brick in front of it.
	So the trigger for the reverse domino only happens when a brick is not laying at an angle.
	And that only happens at the end brick.
	Cool.
	Pretty neat.
	That was fun.
	All right, so fun show.
	We caught up on a lot of stuff.
	Tomorrow we're down into Manhattan, a few subway stops away to talk to old Anthony Cumia.
	It was supposed to be in Texas this week, but for whatever reason, Alex Jones delayed it.
	Our hearts go out to Levi Romero.
	We'll see if we can find some more shit.
	Oh, that's cute.
	Oh, that's at Westfest like 2 or something.
	See what I mean?
	He was always the last to go to bed, too.
	They call him Prowboy from Coast to Coast because he was everywhere.
	Always.
	Oh, that's a good one.
	So, yeah, let's focus.
	Obviously, our hearts go out to him, but let's focus on Joe Biggs now, see if we can get that number up, see if we can show these bureaucrats, these cunts in the White House, that we haven't forgot about our boys.
	We haven't forgot about our friends.
	And we're not taking your narrative of insurrection lightly, you fucking lying sacks of shit.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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