Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Feb. 18, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:05:54

GOML LIVE #136 - BIKER JUSTICE

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	From New York, it's Kevin McConnell with Kevin Genesis.
	That was Conflict, the final conflict, one of their better albums, the Anarcho-Punk sort of homage to Krass.
	We are here in the South Bronx with Maddie O'Dell.
	Welcome back to the show.
	What's going on, everybody?
	Good to see you.
	Maddie and I are both promoting Jim Goad's new t-shirts for his magazine, Answer Me.
	There would be no vice without Answer Me.
	I don't think I would have ever started writing if it wasn't for Answer Me.
	It changed our lives.
	A very acrimonious zine in the early 90s.
	And that was a fun time for zines.
	That was back when there was pure free speech.
	There was Answer Me.
	Below them was SewerCunt.
	There was Fucked.
	A bunch of these zines that would have things like serial killer trading cards.
	They made fun of the most horrible things in the world.
	And then Jim Goda's fourth issue was the rape issue, which went too far.
	According to his pen pal, The Hillside Strangler, he corresponded with Jim and said, the rape issue was a little too much.
	From prison, he said that to Jim.
	So you know you're going too far when serial stranglers have had enough.
	As you know, this is a free episode for the first half hour.
	We shoot the shit and then we go behind the paywall at censored.tv where it's $10 a month for unlimited content, fun stuff, different stuff every day.
	Huge variety on this show.
	We've got, I don't know, about 10 shows, including Jim Goad's show.
	AIU is very popular.
	Fucking Lotus, a million different shows.
	And then, of course, hundreds of hours of bank shows.
	I also recently acquired my old show on Compound, the Gavin McInnes Show.
	So we'll be slowly eking that out.
	I also dug up a hard drive of a movie we made called Gavin McInnes is a fucking asshole, which we'll put up soon.
	So more content than you could possibly handle.
	I do suggest if you subscribe to censor.tv, you stop all other content.
	Stop watching TV, movies, Fox News.
	Sorry, Tucker.
	No more Tucker.
	Don't listen to Howard Stern anymore.
	Cancel it all.
	Because we're more than all you need.
	And today's show is brought to you by the team at Tactical Walls.
	Tactical Walls is veteran-owned.
	They've been supporting the show for over a year now.
	We love Tactical Walls.
	We had Tactical Tim here in the studio building tactical walls for us.
	He billed Ryan's background.
	It seems kind of sad in New York City to use Tactical Walls for mugs and t-shirts because we're not allowed to have guns.
	But I assume your state has slightly more lenient rules than the South Bronx.
	Here, we're not allowed to have splatball guns, scuba guns.
	Are we allowed to have BB guns?
	I don't think so.
	I'm not sure.
	No BB guns, nothing.
	And then when you get up to Westchester, you can have something if it's over 16 inches long, which is really just making my cock legal.
	That's about the only one.
	Tactical Tim and the team at Tactical Walls build kick-ass mod walls that display your guns right now.
	Listeners get 50% off all orders with the promo code Gavin.
	By the way, I had a baby monster call in and say, is it Gavin or Gavin 15 or Gavin 20?
	What's the code for Tactical Walls?
	They all work, but Gavin 15 and Gavin works too.
	Just go to TacticalWalls.com.
	Tactical Walls is made in America by American Patriots for American Patriots.
	Tactical Walls looks great, and the quality of their work is top-notch.
	That's tacticalwalls.com, promo code Gavin for 15% off all orders.
	Start your Father's Day shopping early this year.
	TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off all orders.
	All orders, assuming the orders are at Tactical Walls.
	You can't use that code when you go to other sites, obviously.
	Like if you go to Amazon and you put in Gavin 15, it will not work.
	It's only for tacticalwalls.com.
	A lot to catch up on today.
	I was at our local.
	Joe Tonelli, a fan favorite, has emerged from the hospital.
	Now, he's a compulsive liar, right, Maddie?
	Oh, to the fullest.
	He got $100 tip on Veterans Day by claiming he was a Marine.
	Maddie looks a little blurry to me, Ryan.
	In fact, the pictures behind him look sharper.
	He said that he beat up five black guys in jail because he was losing it after his time in Iraq or Afghanistan, one of those Middle Eastern countries.
	Arnold Schwarzenegger saw him somehow via the security cams and invited him to his dojo where he learned to be a ninja master.
	Two men came to the bar once with shotguns.
	Joe beat them up using their own shotguns and then said, holding both, I guess, the finger through both triggers and said, you either can stay here and be killed or you can leave.
	Yeah, he disarmed them.
	Disarmed them.
	He's got a daughter that doesn't exist.
	He's got a grandson that doesn't exist.
	His grandson's been on a ventilator for months.
	I can count.
	Dying.
	He joined a biker gang called Fourth Watch, which is a lot of retired cops and retired EMTs, retired fire guys.
	And he started his shit with them.
	And he mentioned his child, his grandson, is in hospital in Arizona.
	And they go, well, we've got thousands of members all over the country.
	It's a pretty big club, Fourth Watch.
	Yeah, it's a national club.
	They're not criminals.
	No, they're ex-cops.
	Ex-law enforcement.
	But they still, like, you still should beat someone up if someone says something bad about your club.
	You got to have some pride, right?
	I would imagine so.
	So they're kind of bad guys.
	And they go, all right, Joe, tell us the hospital.
	We probably have guys that work there.
	If not doctors, we got nurses and other people, technicians at least.
	And he wouldn't say the room because his grandson does not exist.
	Well, a patron that goes into our local took his credit card out and said, buy a ticket.
	Oh, yeah, that was nice.
	They buy a ticket right now.
	Fly out.
	And then, no, no, no, he couldn't do it.
	Couldn't do it.
	So Joe just returned from surgery where he had a camera go up his urethra.
	Yeah.
	He had transurethral resection of a bladder tumor.
	So they said, is the one thing that the one snake that goes in your urethra, by the way, this is true.
	He's not.
	No, it goes up.
	Maddie called as a doctor, right?
	Yeah.
	I called yesterday after he was telling people he was in surgery for six hours and that they took two-thirds of his bladder out.
	And that was all bullshit.
	The procedure takes up between 15 and 40 minutes.
	I'm just surprised there was a procedure.
	Jack said, hey, how many stitches did you get?
	He's like, none.
	It's like, you said they took two-thirds of your bladder.
	How did they sew your bladder back together?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he doesn't pay attention to his own lies.
	If you're going to lie, that's why I don't lie.
	It's too much to remember.
	I couldn't imagine having an affair where you've seen a movie and then it was with your mistress and your wife goes, I didn't see Batman.
	And you're like, oh, I saw it with the diabetic kids that I sposter at Big Brother.
	So yeah, he got caught lying about that.
	He came into the thing today and he said, he said that while they were down there looking at his bladder, they also examined his neck.
	Yeah.
	Because his neck hurts.
	And I didn't understand that.
	And then Maddie Odell pointed out, he's addicted to opioids.
	Yeah.
	Oh, didn't he ask you for, as a doctor?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, I took it upon myself after hearing the six hours of surgery and everything.
	I called the hospital he was in, and I didn't call his cell phone for my cell phone.
	I called the actual hospital and they asked me to be connected to his room.
	So they connect me to his room.
	He's really in the hospital.
	So as he picks up, he's like, hello.
	It just popped into my head.
	I said, yes, this is Dr. Armato.
	I'm looking for Joseph Tonelli.
	It's good using the foreign name.
	This is Joe.
	He's like, what's going on, Doc?
	So I just, you know, say, hey, how are you feeling?
	My associate worked on you yesterday.
	He's doing rounds.
	He asked me to call you and follow up.
	He wants to see how you're feeling.
	And he's like, oh, man, the first thing he says has nothing to do with his bladder, nothing to do with you reading.
	My neck is killing me.
	So I go, your neck?
	He goes, yeah, my bladder hurts a little bit too, but my neck is really hurting me.
	I'm in so much pain.
	I go, why is your neck hurt?
	I said, well, how much pain are you in?
	He's like, seven, 7.5 out of 10, Doc.
	I'm in pain.
	So I go, but we did a procedure on your bladder.
	Why is your neck hurting?
	He goes, oh, I broke my neck like seven years ago, C2.
	So I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.
	He's trying to get him for pain meds.
	I didn't get that when I first heard that.
	I don't think my silly friend Ryan figured that out either.
	But he's jonesing for more opioids.
	If you realize he went to the hospital a few days in advance because he says his neck was killing him when Jared, the black guy, beat him up.
	Right.
	That's why he was in the hospital.
	And I think Jared beat him up for calling him out.
	So he's in the hospital three days, four days prior with a neck collar, a cervical collar on.
	What the fuck is that?
	Someone's doing construction, like a hammer drum.
	So I'm just like, oh, this guy's unfucking believable.
	He's a heroin addict.
	But now also, he's got court coming up this week for his Deewee.
	Oh, right.
	And I think the Deewee was driving on opioids.
	Oh, more than likely.
	Yeah.
	You drive drunk.
	Driving drunk is like, Bill Hicks says that.
	He goes, when I was a kid in the 80s, you got pulled over for drunk driving.
	The cop said, have you been drinking tonight?
	And you'd go, yeah, a lot.
	And they go, oh, sorry to fuck your buzz.
	You're going to jail.
	Opioids, huh?
	Opioids, I'd imagine, you fucking crap.
	Well, we've all seen the videos of Joe nodding out, unable to be woken up.
	He's dope feeding on the fucking stools.
	Well, James, our buddy James, is a Joe Tonelli expert.
	And you can look him up, by the way, this Joe Tonelli character.
	He's at his wits' end right now.
	James is at his wit's end with him.
	Really?
	Yeah, he's at the point where he doesn't even want to be at the local if he's there.
	But it's like the Perry Project.
	Like, he loves dealing with this fucking idiot.
	For some reason, he's had his, it's run its course.
	He's had his fill, I guess.
	So after I hung up with him, I texted Jose and English James and everyone.
	I told him Joe Tonelli died on the operating table yesterday.
	So, you know, I told Dr. Lenny and I told everybody.
	And I text that Albert.
	And Albert writes back, really?
	How did you hear about it?
	See, that's not beer.
	No.
	That's opioids.
	He's knotted out.
	Look at him.
	He's a monkey.
	Yeah.
	He's barely human.
	Yeah, I know what James is saying.
	I'm kind of done with him.
	It's sort of like, you know, a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it.
	After a while, you just got to eat it.
	But I don't eat human beings, so now I'm just like, fuck off.
	Shut up.
	I don't want to hear his lies.
	Even making fun of him is getting boring now.
	I shot this.
	Look at that opi-eyed.
	Open-eyed, opi-oid.
	Wow, that's open.
	Yeah.
	He's dead to the world.
	Literally.
	Here's another one.
	The glasses.
	Oh, I love that girl in the background.
	So pretty.
	That's my type.
	I can't.
	Miami Mike.
	What?
	Hello?
	What's happening?
	Oh.
	Oh, really?
	Seriously?
	Seriously?
	Serious?
	Anyway, Joe Tonelli, for those of you listening to just the audio, you don't know what we're doing here, but we're making fun of an Italian pathological liar.
	Yeah.
	Every word that comes out of his mouth is suspect.
	Everything.
	Well, that's why I was so stunned when we called the hospital and he was there.
	Because I'm like, wait a minute, he said something true?
	Yeah.
	But what he does is he takes a morsel of truth, like my bladder's fucked up, and turns it into bladder cancer, colon cancer.
	They looked at my neck, blah, blah, fucking black.
	Anyway, enough Joe Tonelli talk.
	We're going to go through some letters and take some calls and do some live chats.
	The live chats are fun because 100% of the money goes to Max and John, who got four years in prison for beating up Antifa, which apparently is a crime.
	Isn't it funny, by the way?
	I was saying this on Getter.
	And shut up about Gab.
	I'll go on Gab.
	I'll go on them all.
	The Canadian government, the American government, never had a problem with Antifa or BLM.
	They didn't mind.
	They never called them terrorists.
	They said they're civil rights because they're pro-government.
	BLM and Antifa is on the side of the government.
	When Justin Trudeau likes you, it's bad.
	When Joe Biden and Barack Obama like you, it's bad.
	It means that you are doing their bidding.
	And they were doing their bidding.
	They hate the truckers because the truckers are truly anti-government.
	Now, I was saying that to my wife this morning.
	I'm getting some vibes out there.
	It's hard to quantify.
	We're talking about hundreds of millions of people.
	But my vibe is the truckers have redefined the less narrative, much to their chagrin.
	So the narrative was Proud Boys are Nazis.
	They were in Charlottesville.
	They killed Heather Heyer.
	That was a successful narrative that did well.
	That's why John and Max are in prison.
	Then it was the insurrectionists.
	They weren't just fucking breaking some windows and they're mad about the election.
	They're trying to ruin America.
	They hate our democracy.
	They're evil.
	I think that narrative worked.
	And then with the truckers, they said they're Nazis.
	They wave swastikas and Confederate flags and they're violent and dangerous and people are dying.
	And they just went too far with that.
	And also, wait a minute, I forgot one.
	Before the Truckers, they took the angry parents who were mad about CRT, critical race theory, and they said, these people are racist.
	And everyone has kids.
	And people go, wait a minute, I have kids.
	When I send my kid to school, you're going to tell him that he stole this land from the Indians, and everything that we've built was built on the backs of slavery?
	That's a very esoteric theory.
	It's not true, but it's very weird.
	So you're going to tell my son and my daughter that they suck.
	Because everything is stolen.
	They're basically Uday Hussein.
	That's what you're teaching my kids.
	And they vilified those parents.
	So that was a biggie.
	Vilifying those parents was a very dumb move because it was just people who cared about their kids.
	And then vilifying the truckers was another dumb move where they overdid it.
	Now we have proof that Hillary was spying on Trump.
	So I think, this is the vibe I'm getting, that these, not the radical left, they're gone.
	But the moderate left is sort of going, so wait, what's been going on?
	Yeah.
	And one little anecdote I have is my buddy Chris, Proud Boy, he got a call from his mother who wasn't speaking to him.
	They haven't spoken in a year because he's been brainwashed by Proud Boy's propaganda and he's a Nazi and he's ruining the country and blah, blah, blah, Trump, whatever, whatever.
	So she wasn't speaking to him.
	She called him last week and she said, all right, so what's going on?
	What is this club?
	What's it called?
	I'm going to give you like half an hour.
	I'm going to hear you out.
	And he said, okay, mom.
	She wasn't taking his calls before.
	Here's the deal.
	And he explains, you know, the club, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And my gut says that that mom calling Chris is happening all over the country.
	I think these dumb bitch, you know, purple-haired sister-in-laws that were angry with their brother-in-law are now going, so wait, what is it?
	Because, and these kind of trends can be set off by the tiniest thing.
	It's possible the bouncy castles were the catalysts.
	Maybe.
	The bouncy catalysts.
	Because they go, these people are evil.
	They're violent racists.
	And you go, okay, I don't like violence.
	I don't like racists.
	Let's see what we got.
	You tune in and you see bouncy castles.
	And there has been zero violent incidents.
	Jack, but how many times can you tar a group of people standing up for themselves with the same names, same brushes?
	Doesn't work.
	Everyone's a Nazi.
	Everyone's a nut job.
	Everyone's right wing.
	Well, I would say it was working.
	When does it end?
	It was working up until January 6th.
	It was working.
	It's funny because Trudeau, in the beginning, he's like, it's a small group of fringe people.
	Yes.
	But yet you fled to seclusion.
	Yeah, why are you scared of this?
	And now you're asking to enact war powers or a special event.
	He's still going with the Nazi thing, brother.
	He's a group of fringe people.
	Yeah.
	It doesn't sound like a group of fringe people.
	It doesn't look like it either.
	No.
	We can see it with our own eyeballs.
	Yeah, that's the thing.
	And that's the beauty of it.
	Australia.
	There was a couple other countries that were having marches and everything.
	Yeah, and I think it's because we now have cell phones.
	We now are citizen journalists.
	By the way, shout out to Ezra Levant, who's turning 50, I believe, today.
	Did you send my text to him?
	I did.
	Ezra has always been big on citizen journalists.
	He's always been big on film it yourself.
	And I think that's a big part of this: the mainstream media is just an extension of the DNC.
	They've been pushing this narrative.
	Who the fuck is doing construction at 9.30 at night?
	New York City, the city never sleeps.
	Unbelievable.
	So yeah, I mean, it's hard to gauge these things, but that's just the vibe I get.
	And Ezra's all over the news, too.
	I don't think you could underestimate the impact Ezra has had on Canada.
	I think Justin Trudeau is about to come down on him hard because he's altered the narrative in Canada.
	And Justin Trudeau, remember, paid $700 million to the Canadian media.
	And his argument was, I'm trying to save, you know, newsprint and dead media.
	I'm trying to keep it alive so we can have a robust discussion.
	For what?
	It was a bribe.
	Yeah.
	It was a bribe.
	And there's only about 40,000 people in Canadian media.
	So $7 million ends up being a pretty good check.
	Per person?
	$7 million or $700 million.
	Sorry, $700 million.
	So it ends up being like, I forget the exact number, but it's like $70,000 per person, including like guys who hold the boom at the CBC.
	The boom mic.
	Like everyone's covered.
	Man, if I wasn't banned from Canada and on an undesirable list, I'd go there and say I was a fucking journalist.
	Just for the money.
	Why are you banned from Canada again?
	Because my affiliation with the club.
	No Hell's Angels from America are allowed in Canada.
	From Ameronik?
	America.
	America.
	Yeah, Hells Angels.
	Even if you have no criminal record.
	Nope.
	Can't get in the board.
	So how do they know you're a Hells Angel if you have no criminal record?
	Because there's lists.
	I'm on a domestic terrorist list.
	But I also have three violent values, but any member, they know who members are.
	They spend hundreds of millions of dollars surveilling everybody.
	It gets distributed throughout Interpool and RCMP.
	But Canadian Hell's Angels can come to America.
	I got to go up there for my brother's stag.
	I don't know if I'm going to make it.
	It's funny because, you know, I have family members up there, and they're getting up in age.
	And I'm like, man, I'm not going to be able to go to their funerals.
	It's my mom's sister and her husband and children.
	And a couple of my family members who work for certain alphabet soups were like, do you think that we couldn't get you into the country for the funeral?
	Nice.
	I said, I don't know.
	But I doubt it, but maybe.
	Ryan Matty looks a little sick.
	And I'm looking at him with my bare eyeballs, and he looks like a little pink Scotsman.
	But I look at him on the screen, and he looks cadaverous.
	Could throw a little more saturation.
	Give him a little bit of warmth.
	Okay, I'd put some satch on me.
	Because look, I got hard.
	We're talking about funerals, and I feel like I'm at his right now.
	He's got satched, so he's satched up.
	We're approaching the half-hour mark.
	I think it's time to say goodbye to the freeloaders.
	Yeah, we could.
	Maybe we should give them a taste, though, of what we do here.
	So let's try.
	Is the super chat up?
	We got the chats coming up, and then also we have a poll because there's been a split in our fans.
	Some of them identify, of course, as baby monsters, which we officially dub them.
	Some of them are revolting, and they're calling themselves pool shitters.
	So as you can see, the majority of them are identifying as pool shitters.
	Go to the chat of our live show.
	Oh, yeah.
	And so if you click the live show on the browser, there's a chat beneath it, and I have a comment in there.
	And it's the poll.
	I'll post it again, and you can vote.
	But it's kind of upsetting that our baby monsters are not.
	Yeah, I'm not nuts about this trend.
	I mean, I'm not like Trudeau.
	I'm not a dictator.
	So if pool shitters wins, I guess we'll have to change.
	I just spent a bunch of money on baby monsters shirts.
	My problem with pool shitters is girls don't want to be known as pool shitters.
	Girls don't poo.
	Maybe that's how we split up the genders.
	So if we, oh, the females are baby monsters, but now Maddie represents women.
	That's all right.
	You know what they used to call me?
	What?
	Captain Savajo.
	Damn.
	Because I used to go in, you know, we used to have liberties at all the local.
	I love hearing your sanitized discussion of bike.
	So, well, we ran strip clubs.
	So there was always girls at my house that needed help or needed a place to stay.
	Or drugs.
	Yeah, whatever.
	I had a member there.
	We swore every day we were going to break it because it was just tons of cocaine and everything there and crystal methane, all the goods, and stupid pills, opioids.
	But yeah, they said, man, you just always bring these fucking hoes.
	And I'm like, yeah, but you all end up banging them.
	You should thank me.
	Yeah, do you want me to bring home nuns?
	Like, I remember one time, guys called me from Harvard.
	One guy was from my chart, my good friend I grew up with.
	And he's like, Maddie, I'm here with so-and-so from Massachusetts.
	Like, we know you got hoes up here, too.
	Can you call a couple, tell them to come over?
	So I have to, like, call girls in another state to go hang out at the clubhouse with them to entertain them.
	So were you Captain Savajo or Captain Wrangeloho?
	Captain Savajo, because I always took him under my wing and...
	Loved them.
	You would date them.
	I loved them.
	They were good girls.
	Ryan, what is this weird blood diarrhea of a color you chose to go behind me?
	I don't know.
	I thought it would be fun.
	It's like someone ate razor blades and Pico de Gallo.
	And be good at it.
	Yeah, let's take some calls.
	All the money goes to Max and John.
	We used to do doodles and auction them off.
	I'm not good enough to read letters, answer calls, and read super chats and draw at the same time.
	But we'll figure that out.
	They're getting out pretty soon.
	I mean, relatively soon.
	Let's say like eight months.
	But Maddie burst our bubble.
	I had such a great plan for when they get out of prison.
	But you can't party when you get out of prison.
	You got to report to your location.
	Well, you have 72 hours to report to your PO.
	Oh, I thought you said it was eight.
	Well, you want to get there as soon as possible.
	Like, because they're up, however, before they get released, they're going to go see their counselors.
	They're going to make sure that they have a release ID.
	If they don't have their social security, they'll get them a new one.
	All this to prepare them to get out.
	And they release you, and they ask you, do you have a way home?
	Is somebody going to come pick you up?
	Or do they have to provide transportation?
	They'll give you a train ticket or a bus ticket or wherever.
	So sometimes the bus trip, but from the minute you get out, you have to report within 72 hours.
	That's tons of time.
	Although he's going back to Chicago.
	Yeah, he has to do what they call an interstate compact because his charges are here in New York, but he lives there.
	So he has to.
	Wait a minute.
	So now you're reinvigorating my plan.
	I think we can squeeze a fucking big party in, especially if we party up in, it's near, what's the ski place up there, Silver Lake?
	Oh, Lake Placid.
	Lake Placid.
	There's a place next to Lake Placid that's awesome.
	It's like a yuppie town.
	And that would cause big problems with his wife and kids.
	No.
	No?
	No.
	Zenoa told him to join the Proud Boys.
	No, I'm saying you get out from prison and the first thing you do is go.
	No, no, no.
	I have a plan for that.
	Okay.
	We bring in Zenoa and the kids.
	They're at a hotel room.
	You can only fuck for so long.
	You can only hug your kids for so long.
	Five minutes after being away for four years?
	Yeah.
	Let's give them...
	Look, say we pick them up at 4 p.m.
	Right.
	The place near Lake Placid, I'm forgetting.
	It's got a weird name.
	It's only like an hour away.
	We get the hotel there.
	You fuck your wife.
	We'll play with your kids while you're doing that.
	You disgusting animal.
	You fornicator.
	And then we give the kids back.
	That's another hour with the kids.
	After that, the kids are tired.
	It's 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.
	Fucking throw them in bed.
	Listen, I wholeheartedly agree with it.
	Because he especially has to go to Chicago.
	Yeah.
	I don't know where Max is from.
	He's from, well, where's he from?
	Jersey, right?
	Jersey, yeah.
	So he also has to get an interstate compact.
	Anyway, can we take a call before we say goodbye?
	Just got to turn on your little Mikey Wikey.
	My mic is on, shithead.
	Okay.
	There's a lot of news to cover, by the way.
	Project Veritas is doing shit.
	We'll talk about that tomorrow.
	Go ahead, Caller.
	Go ahead, Caller.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I got a very minor gripe with Gavin.
	We were watching Gavin and Anthony Cumia last night, and he said there's a show, The White Loaded.
	So typically, most of the stuff Gavin does, you know, we love and agree with.
	So we're like, it must be a good show.
	So we binge-watched that whole motherfucker last night, or we're on the last episode.
	And while it's okay, and that blonde is super hot, he said it was Soprano-best.
	And that's not even close to Sopranos.
	It is close to Sopranos, sir.
	You are factually wrong.
	If Sopranos is a 10, then White Lotus is a 6.8, which is pretty good.
	6.8 to a 10?
	Yeah.
	What do you think?
	You're five.
	Three?
	You're five.
	How did you say that?
	What do I think?
	It was like a, you know, it was like a five, six.
	I mean, okay, tell me a show.
	Tell me a show that's better than White Lotus, closer to the Sopranos.
	Breaking Bad.
	That would be it.
	Fargo.
	Dexter.
	Dexter was, I mean, it got a little bit done, but Dexter's for chicks.
	Dexter was good.
	It's good, but it's two points below Sopranos for sure.
	Dexter, that weird gay hunk who kills people?
	Gay hunk that kills people, yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's a George Broadfights Dracula's.
	It's good.
	And that girl's really hot, so that, like, did help.
	The acting is amazing.
	The writing's good.
	I like that the protagonist is the gay hotel owner who has no idea what he's doing.
	Have you seen it, Maddie?
	White Lotus?
	No.
	Dude, you have to see it.
	And it's kind of anti-woke because the woke mulatto ruins everyone's life, including...
	Yeah, we were going to say, we did notice that it was kind of neutral and that it ended up making the more liberal woke people look shittier.
	So we did like that because at first we thought they were going to go the other way.
	And we were like, oh, this is why, why would Gavin recommend this?
	And they were like, oh, okay.
	Once we got to the point.
	Wait a minute.
	Isn't that whole show to binge watch?
	Isn't it like five hours?
	Oh, yeah.
	We don't really have much of a life.
	So I did the show with Anthony four to like six.
	You must have watched it till the wee hours last night.
	Yeah, we were up till about three in the morning after you and Anthony got off.
	Yeah, we got a lot of fun.
	Well, you should check out these movies, The Godfather.
	Binge watched them tonight, and then Binge watched the Mad Max movies.
	What was the other show you guys were talking about with the Tranny?
	Thanks for calling.
	Also, no, you don't get two things.
	Thanks for calling.
	You get a fade, though.
	That's for sure.
	You were talking about another one with a tranny and a girl that you said was a 10.
	Where was that white load?
	TV show?
	Yeah, yeah.
	You looked at her tits?
	Yesterday.
	A tranny.
	10.
	Perfect.
	You said there were 10 tits.
	Oh, yeah.
	I remember 10 tits.
	I remember the tits.
	Let's see.
	I can't remember.
	From the show, I don't remember the name of the show.
	There was the Down syndrome check we were talking about.
	Oh, that was Victoria's Secrets.
	Which I had a bunch of people talk to me about this since then.
	We didn't get into this with Anthony, but Victoria's Secret is lingerie.
	It's sexual.
	Yeah, that's the show right there.
	Oh, Euphoria.
	I haven't seen Euphoria.
	I haven't seen Euphoria.
	But judging by what everyone's saying, I want to check it out.
	It seems like it might be good.
	But yeah, Victoria's Secret's sexual.
	Should we be sexualizing people with Down syndrome?
	Now, there's a spectrum of Down syndrome.
	There's relatively normal guys.
	In fact, some people with Down syndrome are smarter than Ryan.
	Huh?
	Probably me too.
	Me too.
	So the best Down syndrome is better than the worst Ryan.
	What?
	How do you guys find time to watch all these shows?
	I haven't seen euphoria.
	Oh, me neither.
	Have you felt euphoria?
	Ooh.
	See, he's retarded.
	But should we be sexualizing people with Down syndrome?
	Like, I agree because you don't know what their comprehension is.
	If they understand how they're being seen or being portrayed.
	Like, legally, a judge has to say, this woman was capable of consent.
	Right.
	Do they have like consent?
	I don't know if they have conservatorships.
	Like, is somebody else?
	Is she capable of consent?
	But then another part of you goes, wait a minute.
	Like, I was at a strip club once, and there was a guy with Down syndrome there, and he's drinking booze.
	And I thought he's an adult.
	He has the right to drink booze.
	He's looking at tits.
	He has a libido, his pubes.
	So it sounds strange that a society would deny an adult his sexuality.
	So I'm not making a decision either way.
	It just seems weird that you could fuck someone with the brain of an eight-year-old.
	That sounds like a bad thing.
	I wouldn't be kosher with that.
	You know what I mean?
	I wouldn't.
	It wouldn't be.
	If I had a daughter or a sibling that had Down syndrome, I would want her tubes tied, obviously.
	I think their tubes don't need to be tied, though, because males with Down syndrome, I don't think they can inseminate.
	Like God already put a thing in it.
	But I still want her to have a sexual life if she has those desires and she's an adult.
	So as a sibling or a father of someone with Down syndrome, I'd be like, can you guys just smooch?
	You'd have to.
	And drive out.
	Making sure that she's...
	I mean, this is an industry that uses people.
	It's notorious for it.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we're actually talking about two separate things.
	One thing is, should a Down syndrome model be advertising a sexual lingerie thing?
	For that, I think it's pretty clear the answer is no.
	No.
	Secondly, separate subject.
	You have a family member who has Down syndrome.
	She has a libido.
	How far can she exercise on like Lifetime or something about people with Down syndrome getting together and hooking up and wanting to date and marry?
	And like some people, some of them just didn't have the comprehension of what the relationship was.
	Like I'm not this.
	I'll make that decree now.
	You may smooch and dry hump.
	That's all.
	You know that Love on the Spectrum show?
	I can't help but think God's design is in there because they'll meet someone, they'll get along great, and then they'll go, it's in Australia.
	And she's like, I don't think we're going to meet again.
	I just want to be friends.
	Yeah, we're just going to be friends.
	And you're like, maybe God put a thing in their DNA that says, don't close the deal.
	I don't want you closing the deal.
	Like I said, it all would depend on, I mean, me personally, I would not be attracted to that.
	Maybe that's another thing that you're shallow programming.
	He's like, I don't want you to want to fuck them.
	Like, when I was young, I would fuck, I was like a rabbit.
	I'd fuck anything that moved.
	Yeah.
	But now, at this stage, I'm 50 years old.
	You know, who wants to blow in a girl's ear and give her a refill?
	You know, fucking airhead.
	Like, if people say, oh, this girl's great.
	I'm like, yeah, she's 20, 23, 24.
	What do I have in common with a 23-year-old?
	They're kind of like retards, actually, when you get to this age.
	You know, here.
	Well, my wife, we should get her on the show.
	She fucks a retard about once a week.
	Oh!
	Like, there's more intellectual stimulation and attraction now at this stage in my life that looks aren't, you know, even though I'm a male model myself.
	You know, I got girls beating my door down.
	But I've had my fair share of women in my life.
	Whoa.
	But yeah, and the same thing with that little girl, the 22-year-old that looks like a kid.
	That's a different thing.
	That's wrong.
	That's the worst thing in the world.
	Because she's an adult and she can do whatever she wants in her life, but not for me.
	No.
	Sorry, you can't fuck anyone.
	Anyone.
	No, that's not for me.
	Except if you find another man who has your same disease.
	She could maybe fuck a midget.
	Why is this an international plan?
	These fucking Scottish people with their scams.
	This is like some weird phone they probably bought in Bavaria that doesn't have a footprint.
	Fuck you, bitch.
	That's my mom.
	Oh, she survived all your travesties and death stories.
	They also have 17 phone numbers, too.
	Because they keep getting their phones taken away for being retarded.
	Being retarded and being Scottish is very similar.
	Yeah.
	So I don't even know what the real phone number is anymore.
	Hello.
	I want to find out why my mom fucks a retard and made me.
	Anyway, let's get behind the paywall now.
	That was 45 minutes.
	Lots of fun stuff to come.
	And keep states are not invited.
	Oh, maybe wait, wait, wait, wait.
	We should read one letter.
	Let me rephrase that.
	Let's read letters until we get to a good one.
	Okay.
	So let's hit the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up.
	You don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Okay.
	I checked the mailbag before we started the show, And the first few are very bad.
	Someone says perfect trucker vid.
	Are we feeling viddy?
	Show a vid.
	Viddy sent.
	It's a vid he sent.
	People with low IQs love puns.
	Braverie.
	Me too.
	Wait, stop, stop.
	This is exactly what I was talking about.
	So you tell, you know, naive people who aren't, they don't have their ear to the ground.
	They follow the news.
	They don't talk to people on the street.
	For whatever reason, maybe there's busy housewives.
	They don't get a chance to.
	So they go, oh, there's Nazis everywhere.
	Okay, I believe you, Rachel Maddow and Don Lamon.
	You're telling me this.
	You seem to know what you're talking about.
	You have a show on CNN.
	But then this happens and they go, wait a minute.
	These are the fucking assholes you were talking about?
	Yeah, Ilhan Omar.
	That was shocking.
	Ilhan Omar took our side.
	That's how bad.
	That was bad.
	They'll joy us because they want their freedom back and they're celebrating.
	That was a dumb video.
	Thanks for that.
	Like the 90s.
	We will be continuing to take calls, enjoying ourselves, reading letters.
	Thursday night's a unique night.
	It's strange that we use this to represent the show because it's not like the show.
	Monday and Tuesday, we go through the news.
	We do green screens.
	We have guests.
	We talk about fun stuff and we're silly.
	Wednesdays, we go down to Compound Media in Manhattan, and Anthony and I do a show.
	Thursday nights, we do a live show where we read letters, we take calls, we get drunk, and we have fun.
	And then Fridays is much like Monday and Tuesday.
	So you're really just seeing the party show.
	Anywhere suits.
	Wait, go back, go back.
	People that write could have been, that is all.
	Wait, one, people that write could have been.
	That is all.
	Two, I was thinking Trudeau needs a nickname.
	Maybe something like Lesbo Castro.
	Well, True Dope seems to be the most popular one.
	True Dow.
	You guys can probably do better, be better.
	Love you guys.
	Benji Franks.
	$25 to Max and John.
	All right.
	So we'll continue with all that fun stuff.
	You guys have got a taste of a portion of our show.
	This is what we're like when we're drinking beer.
	We like you more than a friend.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Subscribers, stay tuned.
	Dude, I got so wasted last night.
	I met a baby monster across from the Anthony studio.
	There may have been nose beers involved.
	Ooh.
	Maybe you met a pool shitter.
	Pray tell.
	That's 50-50 right now.
	Oh, good.
	12 and 12.
	I don't like pool shitter.
	Well, I think the concept is funny.
	I think the concept's funny.
	The beauty of baby monster is it goes back to like a psychotic little man in prison who thought someone stole his porno mag.
	My fuckbook.
	Stole my porno mag.
	Someone had violated.
	And it also makes fun of Lady Gaga's fans.
	The beauty of Baby Monsters is it's a lampoon of the whole like name of fans.
	Like Katy Perry's are called kitty cats and Lady Gaga's are called, what does she call them?
	Monsters?
	Little monsters.
	Little monsters.
	So we're taking a prisoner, having a temper tantrum, and then lampooning Lady Gaga's thing.
	Pool shitter was a throwaway comment and a debate and it makes you think of shit and girls don't like poo.
	Yeah, shit.
	And I also love, that's why I chose Proud Boys.
	I like the idea of a thing that's serious with a stupid name.
	Like, I always thought the coolest name for a gang would be like the Mama's Boys or the Crybabies.
	The Proud Boys.
	Oh, shit.
	Like, you don't want a cool name.
	There's nothing gayer than a cool name.
	Like, if your gang is called Tiger Skulls, you're a fag.
	Well, like, the most notorious and stone cold sociopath killer in Canada that was in Hells Angels was a guy named Maurice Boucher.
	They used to call him mom.
	His nickname was mom.
	He ran all of Quebec, didn't he?
	They built a $16 million courthouse to have his trials in because he had people cut the prison buses off and just execute the guards.
	Shoot the fucking guards that were driving the bus.
	Yeah.
	He was like Pablo Escobar of Canada.
	News reporters and everything.
	He was a nut.
	And the reason they called him mom, because he fucking nitpicked and screwed like every, like, you wanted to go down the street to buy lunch.
	It was like, what kind of bread are we?
	They called him mom because he was like a fucking, a busy bee mom, fucking hovering over everybody.
	So he's probably autistic or something.
	Maybe he had Asperger's.
	He's a fucking fucking maniac.
	What, Joe Rogan is here?
	Yeah.
	That's crazy, man.
	Dude, do you guys feel liberated after we go behind the paywall?
	Yeah.
	I feel different here.
	I feel a lot more free.
	Now I can say that compilation they have of me, but live.
	Yeah, I'm going to say it right now.
	Fuck it.
	I am sick of negativity.
	I want people to be positive.
	Context.
	That's crazy.
	You're a bad motherfucker, man.
	Yeah.
	He puts a lot of air in his voice.
	That's what I've been trying to do.
	Like, Airy.
	Yeah.
	Hey, man.
	Hey.
	Yeah.
	I'm just trying to get him down more.
	Dude, his entire career is a great ad for Onit because he's an Italian who are the stupidest white people we have.
	And he's America's leading journalist and America's leading medical expert.
	I want some of those pills.
	Gavin, would you let a train inject you with Frodvax for 200K?
	What's Frodvax?
	Oh, the vaccine.
	That's a good question.
	I'm one of these people.
	I'm not passionately against the vaccine.
	I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.
	Maddie got it.
	I have the first two shots.
	I don't think he's an idiot or a monster or he's going to die or his microchips in his fucking blood.
	No.
	It's just not my cup of tea.
	It's funny you say that microchip thing.
	That's a theory.
	They've been saying that for me.
	Right.
	I'm being hyperbolic.
	Wait, you believe in the microchip shit?
	I don't know if I believe in it, but what does Bill Gates do?
	Right?
	Makes microchips.
	I mean, they did the atomic bomb before computers were really a thing.
	And so since then and now, you know, all this advancement in...
	Okay, so let's put this on Ryan's list of theories.
	And the reason why Ryan doesn't read or do anything but play guitar.
	But I think.
	So the Earth is flat, you believed for a while.
	Maybe.
	We don't know.
	You believe dinosaurs didn't exist for a long time.
	Still don't know where you stand on that.
	Still not sure.
	Moon landing, we're not sure where you're at with that.
	Correct.
	I don't think you know where you are with that.
	Right.
	I've not been down.
	I've seen it either way.
	Number four, the vaccine has actual microchips in it.
	Yes.
	And then the nano.
	The boosters are updates.
	Updating the software.
	That's right.
	Firmware.
	Actually, COVID is actually the thing that starts it going on.
	The boosters and the vaccines are just the updates to the iOS.
	So the actual chips are airborne.
	It's interesting that someone with so little information in his head would have such outlandish theories.
	Well, now I have information in my head because I have computers running through the microphone.
	It's like me, like, I don't play the guitar.
	But it was like me being really into like Ingy Malmstein.
	Ingve.
	Or...
	Stevie Vai.
	Or Cobra and Cobes or whatever they are, those fucking super guitary dudes.
	Who?
	You know the guys?
	No.
	Cobri and Cobes?
	Cobri and Cambria?
	Hobbs and Shaw.
	No.
	Anyway, it's some guitar, like Rush type of band.
	Okay.
	Prague Rock.
	Gotcha.
	Like, as far as intellectual theories go, you should be like that Jamaican dude with one string.
	Oh, yeah.
	You should be like, I have six strings.
	I like to go home where the people want to love me again.
	Like, that should be your conspiracy theories.
	But your conspiracy theories are the most out there imaginable.
	You know what's funny?
	Flat Earth is a bill.
	Did you know back in the cave days, flat Earth was very esoteric.
	It's never been a mainstream thing.
	People go, oh, Galileo said the Earth was round and then people killed him.
	No, no, no.
	He had a whole thing about everything revolves around Earth.
	No, he said everything revolves around the sun.
	That was his crime.
	And it wasn't really a big deal.
	The Catholic Church said, can you stop screaming that?
	And he said, go fuck yourselves like four times.
	And eventually they threw him in jail.
	I'm not justifying it.
	I'm just saying that's what it was.
	But it had nothing to do with flat earth.
	Flat earthers have always been rare from the cave days till now.
	In fact, there's probably way more today than there has ever been in history because your eyeballs look up and you see a thing called a moon.
	And you go, maybe we're round two.
	Well, you can't do that.
	You can't say physics here work up there because that's totally different.
	Right.
	They work weird up there.
	They do indeed, Ryan.
	They work weird.
	They do indeed.
	Now, I think it's good for the company for you to be a lunatic.
	So I don't want to disavow you of any of these things.
	Thank you.
	It's good business.
	Well, now hold up.
	Now, here, here.
	Hey, you think I'm boring?
	I work with a guy who doesn't think dinosaurs existed.
	Am I boring now?
	I'm not sure.
	Now, listen.
	Now, listen, man.
	Look.
	Check this out.
	Look, man.
	So there are three things going on here.
	The nuclear bomb, right?
	They split an atom.
	The miss.
	They did that without computers for the most part.
	I mean, so they're messing with things on a sub-micro microscopic level.
	That was Albert Einstein.
	Albert Einstein.
	I agree, computers.
	Now, also, Bill Gates was very big on the RFID chips.
	Remember that?
	Now the chips, we're the talk of the chips.
	That went away.
	Is it because they've been replaced with this thing?
	And why would he be so involved in vaccines?
	Maybe they're the updates, this nanotechnology now flowing through.
	If you don't think that they can make that happen, meanwhile, they can't.
	What chips are supposed to do?
	Keep tabs of us.
	Maybe.
	Yeah, they have it.
	It's external, though.
	It's called your cell phone.
	Yeah, why bother?
	Now it's internal.
	Now you can't escape from the grid.
	You are.
	You can always track you with your cell phone 24 hours a day.
	Into the bathroom with you.
	Some people, they know this and they don't have phones.
	Like Joey D. Seven people don't have phones.
	Same number of people who don't want money.
	Let's say we have a post-apocalyptic situation where there are no charges for these phones.
	Wait, so they're not planning for that?
	I mean, well, how do you keep tabs of these little militias that are spread around here?
	These rebels?
	People have phones.
	No, there's no...
	What if there's no electricity?
	What if they can't charge their phone?
	And I believe after your phone dies, there's still a pocket battery.
	There's a little battery within that could still record and do the biddings of the trackings and the painting.
	You know, I love when Ryan talks and has theories because I feel like I'm at the zoo.
	And I'm watching like a monkey with a stick getting termites out of a piece of bark.
	But it's still eating them.
	I'm like, oh.
	My termites are.
	It's trying to think.
	They're thoughtless.
	It's trying to use its mind.
	It's fascinating.
	Not termites.
	I want to throw peanuts over into your area here.
	Want to give Coco a viewfinder?
	Yeah.
	Who's smarter, Ryan or Joe?
	I am Ryan.
	I love Joe.
	Joe's done everything.
	No, no.
	Ryan's much smarter than Joe.
	Ryan can run that equipment.
	He can do imitations.
	He likes his puns.
	Imitations.
	Joe's just a one-trick pony.
	Joe doesn't know anything.
	Don't breathe in.
	76 votes.
	Baby monsters are edging out pool shitters.
	Putting these guys.
	Ladies, get voting.
	Do you want to wear a pool shitter shirt?
	Do you want to walk around with a turd on your shirt?
	No, you don't.
	You want my pet monster.
	What if they're turtlenecks?
	Can I show you the first draft?
	Did I send it to you, Ryan?
	I don't think you could.
	Oops.
	I sent it to Maddie.
	Yeah, you sent it to me.
	I want the word monster to be much, much bigger, but I'm going to show you some rough drafts of the shirts we're working on Because I hope it will influence a decision.
	Remember, no one wants to walk around with a poo shirt.
	No.
	You look like a mental patient.
	So here is a very, very rough draft of one of our shirts that we're working on.
	This guy's very slow.
	He's Mexican.
	So they don't know how to do stuff fast.
	That's the don't break for queefs I just sent you.
	But more importantly, the baby monster is 90% there.
	I just want monster to be 100 times bigger.
	And what I said to him was, you have to remember, shirts need to be triangular.
	So this has to be big and everything else has to be small.
	If you're a good artist, you just draw things that look cool round.
	But in a shirt, that doesn't work.
	So make sure, like, I don't know why I'm explaining this to you, but I've been saying this to him.
	You're drawing cool drawings that look good on a piece of paper.
	A shirt has to go big and then maybe a little bit here.
	Don't make something big here with small here.
	It makes people look fat.
	And our female baby monsters, who I'm obviously very...
	So I think that's great.
	I don't like the font.
	Yeah, we got to lose that font.
	I think I don't...
	Just like I was just saying, I think I don't break should be much bigger than four quiffs.
	I don't like the ponytail.
	The Proud Boy stuff is too much.
	I want more smoke on the tires.
	He did hold a fucking great job on that car, though.
	What is he holding?
	A beer.
	Oh, and it's pouring out.
	The foam's shooting out.
	Yeah.
	And then zoom out on that.
	So I think that's done as long as Monster is like three times as big.
	Now, what's pool shitter?
	It's just a poo?
	It's a wet poo?
	You're walking around with a wet poo on your chest?
	What are you, a shit chest?
	Maybe it's a pool with a brown in there.
	You're going to be mistaken for a shit chest if you have a wet turd on your right here.
	Thoughts on the...
	I'm going to take a shit on you.
	Oh, we're going to discuss this tomorrow.
	Thoughts on the new Louis Thoreau doc on Nick Fuentes and Baked Alaska.
	We're going to get deep into that tomorrow.
	Louis Thoreau hit me up and I said, no.
	I don't trust you.
	Sorry, buddy.
	Fuck you.
	I don't like Louis Thoreau.
	I don't like his whole...
	He does this thing, which is popular in America, ironically, where he's the British genius.
	Hello, how are you?
	And then he interviews some redneck, and the redneck's like, I'll tell you what, man, we were a lot better off before everyone started talking about nigger this, nigger that.
	We were better when we didn't talk about racism all the time.
	And he sounds dumb to asshole aristocrats, but actually what he's saying is totally reasonable.
	And Louis Thoreau sounds smart because he's a British accent.
	British people are dumb.
	They're the same as us.
	They have their fancy pants, but they have their morons, just like us.
	I don't know where Britain got this rep as geniuses.
	They're fucking morons.
	So Louis does the genius British thing, talking to the dumb American rednecks, and he plays dumb the whole time.
	Like, oh, all right.
	Well, hello.
	Why don't you guys just have your clan rally over there?
	And we'll stand here going, ooh, like his prison shit, where he's talking to prisoners, and they're like, I'll kill a motherfucker if he tries to fuck me in the ass.
	And you're watching going, yeah, you don't want someone fucking in the ass.
	And Louie's like, oh, so quite aggressive then.
	It's not an option.
	Oh, hello, hello.
	Like, let me bend you over right here and I'll fuck you on camera.
	Yeah, how do you like it?
	Are you okay with it, Louie?
	So I haven't watched the whole thing yet.
	We'll watch it before tomorrow's show.
	But it was all like these white nationalists are in denial.
	And we're going to AFPAC.
	Ryan and I are going to AFPAC next week.
	And I want to talk to these white nationalists like Michelle Malkin, the Filipina.
	What's his name?
	Byron Davis, the black rapper?
	John Miller?
	Bryson Gray.
	Bryson Gray.
	Let's talk to these white nationalists.
	Didn't you get kicked out last time?
	No, it's not.
	No.
	CPAC.
	Oh, CPAC.
	AFPAC is the anti-CPAC.
	Now, when you fuck somebody in the butt, you're now, you know, only Pooh.
	You have no idea who that is.
	I mean, Jared Holt?
	Only Pooh comes out of your butt.
	So when you have venal sex and you remove your penis, it's like you're turning your dick into shit.
	Like, why would you do that?
	Who the fuck is that?
	It's supposed to be Jerry Seinfeld.
	What?
	Please, YouTubers, clip that.
	Does not look like that.
	That is Ryan's worst moment.
	I had no idea.
	I was like, who the hell is that?
	Including when he raped a deaf chick at a party and she died.
	That never happened.
	It never happened.
	Dude, you look like Jared Holt with a pizza skin disease.
	Looks like John Travolta.
	It's me, Josh Volta.
	Oh, my God.
	I would say kill yourself, but I need an engineer.
	So find someone to replace you and then kill yourself.
	Oh, no, Daphne needs a dad.
	Don't kill yourself.
	That's my best advice for that imitation.
	Don't kill yourself.
	So that's the.
	Okay.
	That's the best I can get out of that.
	Dude, you're usually pretty good.
	That was worse than your Van Horn dude.
	You know, I never really tried the hack impressions like the Christopher Walking, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
	Yeah, okay.
	So.
	Of course, he's never wrong.
	He does a terrible sign phone.
	He's like, no, it's because I'm going into new territory called hack.
	No.
	You just sucked.
	That didn't even look like him.
	I tried my best.
	Okay, don't kill yourself because we need you, but maybe cut yourself?
	I don't want to.
	Self-harm?
	Yeah, like maybe a razor blade.
	Can you do that teenage girl shit?
	I don't listen to my chemical orders.
	I'll pay for it.
	You can invoice the company, the razor blades.
	I don't want to have to buy razor blades.
	You can slit your forearm a bunch of times.
	I will not.
	Why not, please?
	It's deleterious to my health.
	Deleterious.
	Yes.
	Let's...
	They have to bottom, the Nazi flag.
	He was yelling, do you want your country to turn to this?
	Oh, that's interesting.
	Retarded optics, by the way.
	But I get It well, they did that too.
	There was a Trump rally where they had a Nazi flag, and it was actually a Trump supporter saying, like, their DNC, Nazi kind of stuff, but it wasn't clear.
	Just stay away from the fucking swastika.
	I got to be honest, I am so profoundly bored of any Hitler analogy now.
	When I see it, I just go, ah.
	It's like Bob Marley legend.
	Like, I'm done.
	I've had enough.
	I don't want to hear the word Hitler ever again.
	I'm so bored of it.
	Super chats are super gay.
	Super chats are gay when it's for me.
	When you're like, please give me money, please help.
	That's like a man with a tin cup.
	And I understand if you're on the far right and you've been, you know, ostracized to the point where you can only use Patreon to live.
	I get that.
	But if you're a normal person and you're doing super chats for money, it seems sad to me.
	What is it drop that says, see you later?
	See you later.
	See you later.
	That's Kathleen Hanna.
	That's her band.
	Latigre?
	Latigra.
	I've told this story 100 times, but I'll just repeat it for fun.
	Vice was trying to sign them, and we all loved her, but they didn't like Vice.
	But they liked the idea of being on a record label that would get them out there.
	So their deal with us was, you can put on a record as long as there's no Vice logo on it anywhere, and you never mention that we're on Vice Records.
	Hmm.
	Pardon?
	Am I a fat chick?
	So you get to fuck me at 4 a.m. when no one else wants to fuck you, but then you sneak out wearing a COVID mask and no one knows that we're dating?
	What's in it for me?
	I'm a colostomy bag for your cum?
	No.
	Obviously not.
	But the embarrassing thing about it is I'd see Kathleen Hannah, who I'd met a couple of times, and this song would be in my head.
	So she'd walk into the office and I'd be doing something else and I'd, hey.
	And then I'd be like, who put the bump?
	And I'd accidentally sing it out loud.
	So it looked like it was a little like, who put the bump?
	Like, I know your song.
	How are you?
	It's a great song.
	My fan.
	I was dating a punk girl.
	She put this on a CD for me.
	It was all girl jams.
	And they fucking rock.
	And do you ever hear of Tsunami Bomb?
	No?
	They rock too.
	They rock too.
	It's leader Kenny, you know, of course.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	Tell me about.
	Stick to terrible music.
	Stick to fucking Shania Twain.
	That's your area of expertise.
	That doesn't impress me much.
	Thoughts on.
	Oh, I really got you.
	Thoughts on Trump's chances if he decides to run in 2024?
	Zero.
	Great question.
	You think zero?
	Dude, I thought so too.
	I thought it was all Ron.
	Have you seen the polls?
	The polls are crazy.
	He's up to like 52%.
	Ron DeSantis is at 14%.
	What?
	I don't think Ron DeSantis is going to run.
	Well, that would be terrible because we got nobody else.
	That's sad.
	Yeah, good point.
	You should have 100 DeSantises.
	DeSantises and then Trump vice president.
	No, Trump is not going to get back in office.
	He may go for senator or congressman or something like that, but there's no way.
	He would be detrimental to any serious candidate that was going to run.
	He would take votes away from him.
	Okay, what about this?
	DeSantis runs as president.
	The vice president, some innocuous...
	We may have to choose like a black chick or someone.
	I don't know.
	I see Tomsky Abbard.
	I don't think she's changed.
	You'd have to be someone ethnic and female because that's the clown world we're living in.
	But what if Trump campaigns like a fucking lunatic for DeSantis?
	That's not really his style, though.
	No.
	He's a megalomaniac.
	He doesn't like second place.
	And he kind of shat on DeSantis recently, right?
	What?
	Yeah, he said something about the...
	No, he shat on everybody when he's running for president.
	Right.
	But no, recently he took a turd on DeSantis.
	Who knows?
	I don't know.
	But let's stick to the question.
	His odds of running in 2024 are, I would say, very, very high.
	Yeah.
	I would say 50-50.
	And if I was a betting man, I'd put a lot of money on it.
	We're crying out loud, buddy.
	We need Indian Joker face t-shirts.
	Okay, buddy.
	But I have an Indian Joker face t-shirt.
	Let's take some calls.
	I'm bored of these.
	My buddy Bryce made them.
	You can still keep them putting up.
	It came out pretty cool.
	No, it looks like shit.
	It looks terrible.
	It's a total garbage sweatshirt.
	Whoever made that, fucked up.
	Sorry, Bryce.
	It's probably the guy who made that shirt sending in that super chat.
	Self-promotion.
	We'll take a call here.
	32 and a gay.
	Most gays are in Southern World County Lefties.
	How to make friends with more conservative men without coming off because I want to fuck them.
	I just need friends who I can make fucked up jokes with and laugh at, clown world with.
	I don't need poo-poo either.
	Yeah, join the Proud Boys.
	Yes, sir.
	We got a caller?
	Yes, sir.
	Hey, Ururu.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, Gavin, do you think you could take Sam Hyde in a boxing match?
	No.
	What do you mean?
	He's not Hassan Piker.
	Sam's a brick shithouse.
	Yeah, he is.
	He's a big dude.
	My only hope fighting Sam Hyde would be if I was an incredibly talented like Canelo dude who could deke out punches and get body shots in and crack him on his chin.
	But I'm not that talented of a boxer.
	So my only hope is strength.
	So obviously if I'm fighting someone stronger than me, it's going to be a shit show.
	I think if luck, Lady Luck had my side, I might crack his ribs or get him on the chin in a very lucky way.
	But unless he has the worst cardio in the world and he eats Rice Krispie Squares for dinner and I can just run around the first round.
	I heard that, I was telling Maddie this, the owner of my gym, he said, as kids, we used to fight prisoners because you were allowed to go and have these competitive sparring matches at prisons.
	And the coach's advice was: run around the ring for the first round.
	These guys have no gas, and then fight them in the second round, and you'll win.
	And they always did well.
	But if you caught a prisoner in the first round, he'd just knock your block off.
	So I have a feeling Sam has gas.
	Like, he's got cardio.
	I feel like Sam could kill people with his bare hands for sure.
	He's trying to fight Hassan Piker now, which would be great.
	That would be a great fight.
	Hassan's ripped.
	He's a big boy.
	He's big, too.
	He's tall.
	But he's a pussy.
	That would be a great fight to watch.
	He got scared looking at the name of somebody who talked smack on him.
	He was doing a stream, and then he was looking through Twitter, and then somebody was confronting him or something.
	He was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't see that.
	And it was terrible.
	Hassan did?
	Yeah, he's like, what's with Sam's hairline?
	I'm obsessed with big foreheads these days.
	Five head.
	He's got the same hairline as that arsonist, Muhammad, who tried to burn down the church during the George Floyd riot.
	I believe he leans into everything he's got.
	So he's proud of him.
	Is that him there?
	No, that's not him.
	That's Peter Mario.
	Why are you showing him?
	He's in the video.
	Dustbangers.
	I'm looking at Dustbangers right now.
	So I don't want to show too much because this is behind his paywall.
	This gum road, which I am subscribed to.
	But yeah, he's huge.
	Now, he did a video with my buddy.
	He's my buddy now, Wek.
	And they worked out.
	And, I mean, see, the thing about bodybuilding is he wasn't able to lift what Wek can because it's a certain type of thing when you lift weights.
	He's very strong.
	You seem blurry.
	But.
	My name is Blurry.
	Blurry.
	Yeah.
	My name is Blurry.
	Bury Jason.
	I care what you think.
	They're going to love that one.
	So, in lifting, you could use a little work.
	I mean, that's me saying that, a tiny Asian boy.
	But no, he could scrap.
	He's a scrapper.
	Those are hot dogs.
	Anyway, we spent way too long on the question.
	The answer is no.
	Next.
	We have a caller.
	I'm sorry, caller.
	Oh, that was you.
	I'm sorry.
	You have said your thing, so I'm going to.
	Put you away.
	Now, Eric in Eastern State Prison.
	By the way, did you shit tonight?
	Me?
	Yes.
	Because I walked into the bathroom and I was overwhelmed with cobalt.
	Yeah, that was my shit.
	Dude, we got a call, Nat Geo.
	This is the mystery of the century.
	I think the Smithsonian would be interested in this.
	I wonder, was cobalt present in maybe silicon chips?
	COVID is going to fix your fucking camera for the one millionth time.
	I'll have a beer, Matty, while you're up.
	Maybe I'll have my bots fix it.
	I have bots now.
	Like two co-workers who have zero in common, they actually don't like each other.
	Well, one of them likes his boss.
	His boss doesn't like the co-worker.
	And they all of a sudden have shits that smell like aluminum foil.
	It's almost like we have chips in our bodies.
	And I still smell shit, by the way.
	It's not like shit becomes cobalt.
	Thank you, sir.
	No, that's alchemy.
	We would be lady alchemies if we were to do that.
	Ryan, what is alchemy?
	Alchemy is taking a substance and through some process that doesn't exist, it's actually a myth, mythological, right?
	And you turn it into precious metals.
	I think was the main goal.
	But then alchemy, you could turn other shit into other shit that's not so precious.
	But mainly it was to try to make gold out of bullshit.
	Gold out of lead, I believe.
	Gold out of lead, yeah.
	Ryan knows one thing.
	Lead Zeppelin.
	What's 11 times 11?
	I have trouble with this one.
	I think it's 122, but I'm talking.
	11.
	Is it 122?
	See, when it comes to multiplication, it's like memory.
	There's no actual, you're not doing anything but remembering.
	You just go back to the easy one and then add a bunch of 11s.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's right, yeah.
	There's a funny bit that you're going to soon release.
	110.
	11 times 11 is 121.
	You add 11 to 11 times 10.
	11.
	I've just accepted.
	11!
	11!
	Sorry, caller, we're delaying you.
	Go ahead.
	Yes.
	Hey, Gavin.
	So you've been bringing up Eastern State Prison a bunch lately, but you're also against solitary confinement.
	So don't those kind of like not mesh?
	Well, and I'm sure Maddie can contribute to this, but I've lost a lot of friends recently for saying that I like Eastern State Penitentiary.
	I like the idea of five years as a prison sentence, even for murder.
	But you've got to understand that when I say five years, I'm talking about Eastern State Penitentiary.
	Now, there you had a room that was as big as, well, you can't see the studio, but it's as big as me to this TV.
	So it's like, it was about a 10-foot by 10-foot room.
	Then you had a little alcove, a little door.
	And then you had a backyard that was 10 feet by 10 feet that you could go to anytime you wanted.
	They brought you stuff.
	They brought you trades.
	They taught you how to be a cobbler, all kinds of stuff.
	The Bible was huge.
	Read the Bible every day.
	So it's not five years at Rikers or Bear Hill or Governor or whatever.
	It's five years at Easter State Penitentiary.
	It's worse?
	It would be worse.
	Of course it's worse.
	Eastern wasn't remarkable because they had short sentences.
	It's remarkable because it was extreme isolation.
	The inmates did not talk to each other.
	They went to their cells blindfolded when they had to leave.
	The guards patrolled barefoot so they couldn't be heard.
	And so they could hear whispering.
	It was the most extreme isolation possible for five years.
	Eastern didn't actually keep the model either.
	Eastern operated under the Pennsylvania model up until the early 1900s and then switched over to the New York model that was pioneered at Auburn.
	So Eastern eventually gave up on what they'd been trying to do and went to a more practical model.
	So there was, in the early model, there was no socializing whatsoever?
	Well, in general, it's Eastern as long as they held it.
	That's called the Pennsylvania model, which originated from around the 1820s with Eastern.
	And it was supposed to be a very radical form of isolation pioneered by Quakers.
	And the idea was that the inmates wouldn't talk to each other, much less see each other at all.
	They'd hardly communicate with guards, just very simple comments and instructions.
	And they were essentially isolated, no letters home, no communication with the outside, no visits for five years or however long the term is.
	And that was the model up until the end of the 1800s, early 1900s, when the authorities in Pennsylvania said, hey, this doesn't fucking work.
	And they converted it into a regular concrete setting.
	Well, wait a minute, slow down.
	You just added, it didn't fucking work.
	They didn't know if it worked because they didn't monitor the inmates after they got out.
	They burned all their records.
	We have no idea how successful this was.
	No, no, you're correct.
	You're correct.
	They didn't monitor the actual outcome because they didn't have a parole system back then, didn't have any kind of metrics in place to do that.
	But the state looked at the system as it went on over the course of about, what was that, 60, 70 years?
	And by 1900, said, hey, this is extremely expensive.
	We're seeing ways of operating in other states.
	We don't seem to have a major impact on recidivism rates that we're starting to track now.
	And it really wasn't, because they did have return rates.
	Well, that's the problem with my whole theory is they didn't track the recidivism because they wanted these men to be independent and have no records.
	So they burnt their files after they left.
	So I'm going with gut here.
	But let's ask Maddie.
	Maddie, what would you rather do?
	10 years in a prison, cafeteria, talking to people, whatever, watching TV, or five years in a 10-foot by 10-foot room and a 10-foot by 10-foot little area.
	You're learning a trade, you're fucking totally alone for five years.
	Who's teaching you the trade?
	An invisible man.
	What I'm saying, I mean...
	Yeah, they did have trades.
	In prison systems today, like out in Florence, Colorado, they have what they call the ADX, which is administration disciplinary maximum.
	That's where the worst of the worst go.
	For the first, they still don't really give isolation for like 10, 20 years, like anything like that.
	For the first 18 months, there's like no human contact.
	There's a wreck yard at the back of their cell.
	The door opens up.
	They go out into a little dog cage.
	They go out there, do the exercise, and come in.
	They either have a shower in their cell or a shower comes on a rail and it stops in front of the door.
	They open the door.
	They're allowed to step in and shower.
	Their mail, if they're allowed to get it, comes on a video screen in the room.
	Like, they don't get physical paper or anything.
	Like, they put it up, they scan it or whatever and put it on a monitor.
	And the way the cells are angled, there's no human contact literally for like the first 18 months.
	And then you have to work your way down from there.
	And then they start to lighten up a little bit.
	But when you're in the ADX or what they call Florence, Colorado, like a lot of people say, oh, the prison is on the ground, it's that.
	I mean, it's the worst of the worst.
	It's the worst place to go because humans are social creatures.
	Yeah.
	Like, there was a guy who used to say he used to rip his button off of his shirt and turn the lights off and throw the button up in the air.
	And he made a game to try to keep himself safe.
	He would have to get down and find the button.
	Just to, you know, the shoes that I've been in, the solitary I've been in, like the shoe, the bucket, the hole, whatever you want to call it, I've always been, I've been in two-man shoes and three-man shoes.
	So there's another cellmate there.
	So you have someone to talk to.
	Yeah, I mean, Carler, I'm not an expert.
	I just, I like the idea of this five years of contemplation, but I didn't know that they had zero contact with anyone in the early days of Eastern State Penitentiary.
	Yeah, I mean, the other thing also is New York actually has some very low recidivism rates, which is surprising.
	New York has a low recidivism rate?
	Yeah, so the parole recidivity.
	He's like fucking Maddie O'Dell.
	He went in like 20 times.
	Pardon me?
	Well, the thing about recidivism is if you don't come out rehabilitated or you've learned your lesson, basically what they've done is they've just made you lose the fear of prison.
	Right.
	You feel that you can go out wherever you want because being sent to prison is no longer a deterrent.
	After I got the backlash for saying the five years thing, I started looking it up and the amount of deterrent increase when you start adding big numbers to a sentence is like 2%.
	So five years is a bummer.
	Seven years is a bummer.
	25 years is generally 2% scarier than seven years.
	Yeah, but at that point, you're dealing with people that deterrence probably isn't really a factor at all.
	You're dealing with people who are very often so dangerous they're being kept in not to rehabilitate them, but just make everyone else safer.
	I mean, the country right now has...
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, thanks, Michael.
	I think the solution is Looney Bins.
	I got a piss.
	Ryan, read the next letter.
	Okay.
	Well, this one is...
	It says, not a question, just a comment.
	I'm predicting you'll never move down south.
	You subconsciously love hating it here in lib New York.
	If anything, you might move to a less lib area of New York.
	Anyway, Ryan's the fucking man.
	There you go, Ry.
	I've tried to move out of New York a few times, and I've always ended up coming back.
	Yeah, it's a tough thing.
	Something that's senior.
	I don't know what the fuck it is, but I'm dying to get out of here.
	But the only thing that really keeping me here now is my medical team.
	True.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's a big move.
	Because if you're in some less populated area and the medical's not the best.
	The one thing that would probably hold me back is my family.
	Well, I have grown children.
	Right.
	And my child's an adult.
	But otherwise, better weather, better laws.
	Better roads, better taxes.
	True.
	Wait, what are they talking about?
	Moving south?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they said you would probably never move down south.
	You subconsciously love hating it and live in New York.
	I don't know.
	I got kids, buddy.
	I'm not mobile like you, but or like John Joseph.
	John Joseph moving to Florida.
	If you're not a New Yorker.
	That's a big deal.
	That's a big fucking deal.
	That's a real big deal.
	That's like fucking Big Joe Muffara moving to Alabama.
	Like he is the quintessential.
	When I think of quintessential New Yorkers, I think of Ricky Powell.
	I think of Vinny Stigma.
	I think of John Joseph.
	I think of Curtis Slewa.
	Those guys are like they're literally Rooted into the ground.
	And then John Joseph posted this picture on Instagram of his U-Haul filth.
	And he's like, sorry, fuck this place.
	The legends and icons in the city.
	Like his accent is, he's got the thickest New York accent in New York.
	Yo, what's up?
	I'm here with the bear.
	We're out there getting at it.
	Five in the morning.
	Fucking 40K run.
	10 mile swim.
	Getting at it.
	You gotta fucking get out there.
	Check out my newsletter.
	Fucking wake up.
	Have vegan.
	No meat.
	No fucking Monsanto.
	And then he's like, sorry.
	I'm out.
	He said, this is not the New York I grew up in.
	And he grew up in a fucked up New York.
	And New York moved away from us.
	He didn't grow up in a lavish.
	He was in the fucking trenches.
	Pre-CBGB's fucking...
	We went on his walking tour.
	It was one of the most fascinating walking tours I've ever done.
	I interrupted it with the...
	This is a place, second and second.
	There was a dude called Carpet Eddie.
	And he was a German dude.
	He would get himself wrapped up in a carpet.
	And then he would have woman step on him and shit.
	And then after a while, he liked it so much that he would stand and people would piss on him and kick him in the head and shit.
	And this was his spot.
	He was telling people, if you were white back in the 70s and 80s, you couldn't walk on Ludlow.
	He's like, you'd be dead.
	You just couldn't do it.
	He's like, I could do it.
	But, you know, I grew up.
	He's like, I remember I interrupted his walking tour one night by accident.
	Oh, really?
	Obsessively, obnoxiously loud motorcycle.
	It was funny because he played it up.
	He had a ton of people around him.
	I was there checking out a restaurant with a buddy of mine, and they were across the street.
	I knew who he was and everything.
	I wasn't paying attention.
	I hit my ignition, brah!
	And half the people jumped like six feet.
	He just turned around and started laughing.
	He's a man hardcore fans on those tours.
	He probably went, that's New York.
	It's fucking loud as shit, yo.
	I was like, I'm going to do a sit-down with him.
	One time I was with him in the East Village, and this dude comes up, and he's got Krishna beads, and he's like, hey, what's going on, John?
	He's like, hey, Druggy, Dougie Drug, I think was the guy's name?
	Druggy Fresh.
	And he's like, hey, man.
	And he's like, yo, I hope you're still praying to Krishna.
	Yo, and he started saying a bunch of Krishna stuff like, yo, all praises due to Hamaluk, Mamalan, all the Krishna.
	I don't know a lot of Krishna shit, obviously.
	And he's got his beads.
	You got your beads.
	And the guy was all scratchy.
	He goes, yo, you're making a lot of money with the bam, man.
	I just want to get paid.
	And he's like, yeah, all right, let's talk later.
	I go, what was that about?
	And he goes, that was a dude who was in the Cro-Mags who became a junkie and was begging me for money because he thinks I'm getting these massive Cro-Mags checks every week that he's being denied.
	And he obviously wants the money, just like Joe, for more fucking opioids.
	Doug, Drug Doug, I think his name was.
	They called him Druggie.
	Anyway.
	Been married a long time, 10 years.
	I fucked up and married a woman 10 years older than me.
	Oh, dude.
	We don't have kids.
	I'm 37, so she's 47.
	I want a family.
	I can't tell you how many dudes I know like this, by the way.
	This is not unusual.
	And you know what they always do?
	I go, wait a minute.
	So you're 37, you're married to a 47-year-old?
	And like, yeah, but she's not your average 47-year-old.
	And then they show you a picture, and you're like, well, that's my son, but they show you a picture, and you're like, that's a 47-year-old.
	That's what they look like.
	You're in love with her, so you see her as beautiful, but I see an old lady.
	So he's been married 10 years.
	So he got married when he was 27?
	So she was 37.
	She was 37.
	I like 37.
	When you're 27.
	I never thought of what she might look like in 10 years.
	Wait, did you just pull up Doug Drug?
	Yeah, I think that's the guy.
	Doug Holland?
	Yeah, that sounds like it.
	Is he alive?
	Is that a New York Times obituary?
	Because this wasn't...
	Yeah, Doug Holland.
	That's who it was.
	Is he still alive?
	These fuckers that do heroin all day and live, you're like, wow.
	We are a resilient species.
	Keith Richards.
	You see these bums.
	I saw this video of a bum in San Francisco, as dirty as a coal miner in the Industrial Revolution.
	He's got rags on him, not a shirt or pants, just rags.
	And he's on the side of the sidewalk going, nah.
	And his beard is all fucked up and dreaded.
	Absolutely filthy, like not a man.
	He was a plant.
	He was like an animal is too flattering.
	He was a feral human.
	He was bacteria.
	He was like, he was a coral reef.
	And he was just like, he had an entire ecosystem living on him.
	Yeah.
	You just want, like, just take a straight razor to his neck.
	I don't think that's anti-Christian.
	It's just doing people a favor.
	Anyway, I want children.
	I'm not attracted to her anymore either.
	Yeah, dumper, dude.
	She's not going to have children at 47.
	She's 47.
	Like, what were you thinking, though?
	She's thinking with the little head.
	Do the math.
	Like, all these traditions, they're there for a reason.
	That whole, like, you ruined her best years.
	I don't know.
	I also don't like divorce, but yeah.
	So you're 37?
	You could still have a whole life.
	I think you should just tell her.
	The dude from Cro-Mags.
	That's about the other guy.
	Harley.
	That's a whole other story.
	We can do a whole show on that.
	Call?
	Sure.
	James, Catholic.
	720.
	You're on the line.
	Hello.
	Gavin.
	Hi, Caller.
	Hello.
	Hey.
	So, I signed up for Center because you're Catholic.
	And I'd like to hear More of that from you in future shows.
	Yeah, I'm not a very good Catholic.
	I know you're not.
	Well, there's, if you could do something, I have a suggestion to be a better Catholic.
	I don't think anyone's more censored in the world than the Trad Catholics from Faith Goldie and the Sanchez I know you've had on your show.
	I heard a story amongst okay, thanks for calling.
	I don't want to get into Catholicism.
	I'm the worst guy.
	I'm the worst Catholic on earth.
	I just sort of chose that religion because I discovered God and I thought that was the nearest one.
	But we should go to church much more.
	But one of my son's friends punched this other kid in their crew, and he's a very short guy.
	And he probably just got sick of the short jokes.
	Because these guys were playing video games, and they're not witty, right?
	So they're not like, you're a fucking, now I have to think of a witty insult, but like, you're a fucking pube.
	You're a human pube.
	You're a curly pube.
	That's why you're always hunched over.
	You don't have a spine because you're a pube.
	That's actually pretty funny.
	I just care about that.
	But they're probably like, with him, he's a short kid.
	So they're just like, you're short.
	You're so short.
	You're just a midget.
	I mean, eventually you're going to go, you know what?
	I swear to God, it's the last thing I do.
	I'm fucking done with the short shit.
	So he punched the kid in the face.
	And we live in the affluent white suburbs.
	So the mother of the puncher is like, we don't fight with our fists.
	We fight with our words.
	Calm down.
	Shut up, Janet.
	We fight with our lawyers.
	And then the mother of the victim, by the way, none of this should have made it to the parents.
	This should have stayed within the bubble of the guy.
	You call a short guy short 100 times.
	He punches you.
	Them's the brakes.
	That's how it works, boys.
	Sorry.
	Don't tell anyone.
	This is not anyone's business.
	But the mother of the punchy is like, he's going to get his, and I'm showing what a shitty Catholic I am.
	What's that thing you get when you're like, it's a bat mitzvah for a Catholic?
	Catechism.
	Confirmation.
	Confirmation, I guess.
	He's going to get his confirmation, but she's going to like x-ray him.
	He has to go to the doctors.
	So he's going to miss it.
	No, he doesn't have to.
	The implication being, by the way, that he won't be truly Catholic because of your punch.
	In other words, he's going to hell.
	So when my wife told me this, I was like, that's a hell of a punch.
	You punched it straight to hell.
	Wow.
	You're going to fucking.
	I'm going to see you in hell.
	Yeah.
	Bye-bye.
	Well, you have your first Holy Communion.
	Then you have, well, no, you have your baptism when you're born.
	Yes.
	Then you have your first Holy Communion.
	That's when you're allowed to get the host, the body of Christ at church.
	I just started taking the host.
	And my wife goes, we're not supposed to do that.
	And I was like, whatever.
	Give me the fuck up.
	You're not supposed to take it unless you've gone to penance.
	Yeah.
	And have said to the priest, I've done this, and he'll give you five Hail Marys, two active contritions, and our father.
	And you're good.
	I've never been to confession ever.
	There's no way I'm telling some stranger myself.
	I think it's around the same time as the bar mitzvah, like 13 or 14, you have your confirmation, which is you, as a man, reconfirming that Roman Catholicism is your religion.
	I have not done that with my kids.
	I've done it all.
	Did your son do that?
	Yes.
	But I was just about to go, you're a shitty father just like me.
	But he was baptized.
	He had his communion and he had his confirmation.
	I was away for most of that.
	Okay, Fortune is shitty.
	I got pictures.
	Really shitty.
	Great pictures.
	Great pictures.
	In the mail like Christmas every day.
	Kate, Ryan, go through the mailbag and put Maddie in the search bar because we keep losing these emails that are directed to him.
	This is a flaw with our business plan, by the way.
	We get, I would say, 50 emails a day.
	We go through an average of two or three.
	There's this incredible...
	And when I go through them here at the office, I'm like, this is gold.
	This is gold.
	I would say two-thirds of them are amazing.
	A third of them are.
	Have you checked out the Crazy Hot Matrix?
	Yes, I've checked that out.
	Thanks.
	I've heard of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles, too.
	But the other two-thirds are pretty good.
	I got a taste of that with the Kartnarks Perry Caravella thing.
	900 people tagged me in that tweet.
	Okay, we get it.
	It's awesome.
	We love Kartnarks.
	We love Perry.
	It's great that they're together.
	Gotcha.
	Would you rather fuck the Down syndrome Victoria Secret model, which is basically just Amy Poehler, or fuck the 22-year-old in the eight-year-old body?
	Ooh.
	Damn.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	The 20 rathers we get on the show are usually pretty shitty.
	They're like, suck your dad's dick or stab your mom in the eye.
	That's actually pretty good.
	From a physical standpoint only, I would have to do the same thing.
	Maddie, that's cheating.
	You're parsing the ultimatum.
	Because I couldn't look at that 22-year-old and not mental child.
	The 22-year-old is a mental child.
	It's actually physically...
	They're both the same thing.
	One is a 22-year-old with the brain of a child.
	The other is a 22-year-old brain in the body of a child.
	Right.
	And a body of a child is not attractive to me whatsoever.
	No, no.
	No.
	Well, you're a human being on Earth.
	So if I had no choice, it would have to be the Down syndrome girl because she's a 22-year-old that's physically appealing as a woman, even though her mental quality is not.
	I would fuck the one in the eight-year-old's body because at least I know in my grave that I fucked a 23-year-old.
	Or she has the capacity to disagree.
	It's sort of like people always go, like, they find the hottest tranny, like that dude who, he's on Anthony Coomia's show.
	I forget his name, but it's a very sexy woman who has a penis.
	Eddie Isard?
	He's very sexy.
	What?
	It's a friend of Anthony Cumia.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So they say, would you rather fuck her or the guy Biff Naked?
	The dude who looks like me, basically, but more of a ginger.
	And he's actually pretty ripped.
	And he's got a lot of tribal tattoos, but he has a cunt.
	Oh, that's.
	What the fuck is their name?
	Butch.
	Fuck.
	I know these things.
	I know these things.
	So people always say, would you rather fuck the tranny or the biff dude?
	I'd rather fuck the biff dude.
	Because it's a girl.
	Because my dick went in a cunt.
	And then when I'm on my deathbed, I'm like, I've fucked nothing but chicks.
	I fucked one of the ugliest women on earth who looked like me, but it was still a chick.
	Now, you're on your deathbed and you're like, have you ever, have you ever, you have to go, I fucked one retard, but mostly normal girls, which isn't as bad as fucking a kid, obviously.
	But at least I would be on my deathbed and I went, I fucked some very short chicks.
	I actually fucked a chick with an eight-year-old body, but she was 22.
	Yeah.
	Buck Angel.
	Buck Angel.
	Buck Angel.
	And you would still be having sex with a vagina.
	With Buck Angel.
	Bailey J. Yeah.
	You're still, yeah.
	I would rather fuck that than Bailey J. Full beard.
	Although I'm starting to doubt myself now when I see that photograph.
	Full beard.
	It looks like Scorps.
	This is why I hate women.
	You ask me.
	It can't be worse than fucking neither.
	No, there's no neither.
	They have your mother at gunpoint.
	They're going to blow her head off.
	You have to choose neither.
	Shut the fuck up.
	I'll bring Bally J or Buck Angel.
	Buck Angel.
	Who is Billy J?
	That's Bailey J. Oh, I'm going to fuck Buck Angel because it's a girl.
	Yeah.
	I will fuck that person.
	It was like me.
	Fucking Todd.
	Have sex with a bodybuilder chick.
	Yeah.
	It was so uncomfortable and so like...
	But it was a girl.
	I love your quote from fucking a bodybuilder.
	You go, no bueno.
	Yeah.
	No bueno.
	It was just awkward.
	I got a big arms around.
	Yeah, it was like...
	Holding you.
	It was like grabbing a dude's arm.
	I was like, okay, this is kind of awkward.
	If you fuck Bailey J, you're fucking a guy who's mentally unstable.
	But if you fuck this thing, it's fucking a woman who's mentally unstable.
	And most women are.
	So it's just to what degree?
	Yeah, would you rather fuck the...
	That's the ugliest woman in the world.
	Or Bailey J, which is a severely damaged homosexual whose brain is just like mashed potatoes.
	That you'd have to fuck in the ass because he doesn't have a vagina.
	Right.
	And there's a little weird sad elephant trunk dink, probably not even erect.
	Not that I want it erect.
	Just sort of bouncing around like you're fucking like an Auschwitz victim.
	You're fucking a car accident.
	You're fucking damaged goods.
	They're both damaged goods.
	It's not.
	At least it's fucking the worst woman on earth, but it's a woman.
	Exactly.
	Although, I don't know.
	I have too many of these.
	I could see making the wrong decision.
	Who knows?
	I wonder how many guys have gone and paid for sex somewhere and gotten like a blowjob from a prostitute that were dudes.
	Well, they talk about this tranny murder rate.
	And the implication is it's all Trump supporters like you and me magically killing trannies because we're homophobes.
	No, we're too lazy.
	We're not homophobe.
	We're not very ambitious murderers.
	And I think it's a lot of black thugs that get duped by these trannies at some club.
	Everyone's wasted doing blow, and they fucking, they lose their temper and they beat them to death.
	But I can't imagine being a person that's transsexual or dressed up as a woman and deceives a man and gives him like a blow and then the guy finds out.
	And what do you expect is going to happen?
	I think a lot of them are self-hating.
	Like I was trying to encourage Ryan to cut himself.
	I think a lot of these people are self-hating and they kind of want to be beaten to death.
	Oh, fuck.
	They're masochists.
	They're like walking into the fire.
	Isn't it kind of retarded that I can pay you to read my super chat or I can call in and talk to you directly for free?
	This is for Max and John, okay?
	Well, the wait times on the calls.
	Yeah, Joe, I don't know if you understand this, but the wait time on the calls are like an hour and a half.
	The super chat jumps to the front.
	So that's pretty simple.
	That's like the guy who goes, hey, on the show the other day, you talked about a thing you can put on your boot to make your soles last longer.
	Could you extrapolate on that?
	And it takes like one second of Googling to find out what can make your heels last longer.
	What are they called?
	I think they're called heel protectors.
	Obviously.
	Here's the thing, guys.
	With the links, I would much prefer if you emailed Ryan at censored.tv and then these comments here, you could just say subject blah, blah, blah.
	Sent in the mailbag subject because these links don't work.
	Can't you cut and paste them?
	No, it's it's let's read a Maddie letter while he's in the bathroom and then just talk shit about him.
	He's got P. Let's read a Maddie letter.
	Okay?
	I've got one so far that's directed to Maddie.
	So a couple of these are.
	I'll handle it.
	I'll handle all Maddie questions, especially about prison.
	I did four hours in Midtown.
	I know what it's like in there.
	That's right.
	It's rough.
	I had to read a Canadian tourism magazine and check my phone occasionally.
	Damn.
	They gave me my phone.
	Okay.
	Because I beat up a guy who beat up a chick.
	This is a great point.
	Dear Gav, Incubus, Third Rye Blind, and the Cherry Pop and Maddie's.
	As an addendum to Maddie's.
	Oh, dude, we got it.
	Yeah, me and Maddie.
	Maddie's cooking show.
	We're going to have to.
	I think we'd all get enormous something out of a video of Elder McKinnis' cooking.
	For example, Lorraine's famous Mints and Tatties.
	Oh my God.
	My mother is a wonderful woman.
	She's a very busy lady.
	She has, well, let me, she's not busy, but she has other interests.
	So when she cooks, there are times, I'm trying to phrase, because she watches the show, so I'm trying to phrase this as nice as possible.
	There are times when she's distracted and maybe doesn't give the meal the kind of love that, say, Gordon Ramsey would give.
	And it wasn't unusual as a kid for my friends to vomit after they had been to our house.
	The Scots are not known for their cuisine, right, Maddie?
	No, not by any stretch of the imagination.
	So Mints and Tatties was good.
	But I also, another beef I have, and I'll say this loud and proud, I think I was malnourished.
	I'm 5'10 and a half.
	My fucking dad's 6'2.
	My brother's a giant.
	All my cousins and uncles are all huge monsters.
	I think my parents malnourished me.
	I remember there's like little potatoes, like four leaves.
	It was prison food.
	Four leaves of lettuce.
	Not a salad bowl, but like leaves.
	And then a piece of meat that would be like that big.
	And I'd be fucking starving after.
	I'd make a bowl of popcorn this big, and then I'd eat this much ice cream, and then I'd have like four apples.
	You go to Scotland and you ask for a ham and cheese sandwich, and it's literally one slice of ham, one slice of cheese, and the bread.
	Yeah.
	And you're like, no condiments.
	What the fuck is this?
	No condiments at all.
	Like, what is it?
	It's prison food.
	You're trying to starve me?
	That's like fucking Rikers.
	That's what they give you in the tombs.
	Bullpen sandwich.
	Gav, you notice people on social media write could have been instead of could have been?
	Could have been.
	I haven't noticed that.
	Thoughts on Trump's?
	What?
	Okay.
	Someone with otherwise great sense of style.
	Why do you insist on wearing your gold chain outside your shirt?
	That's reserved for 12-year-old wiggers.
	I don't think you understand, sir.
	This is an homage to the Italian blue-collar culture of Brooklyn.
	It's Cuban links.
	All Italians wear their chains outside their shirts.
	It looks especially great with a black t-shirt.
	So I don't know how you don't.
	As a sane culture.
	If you're criticizing me in a fashion thing, you're probably wrong.
	You're flossing.
	Ryan, Shahay to get to the poll again.
	We can't let these pool shitters take over.
	Well, yeah, you go to the comments of the live show, and it should be in there.
	I posted it twice right now.
	Shave a hoe.
	How are we doing with the poll?
	Baby Monsters 60 to 39.
	61 to 39.
	108 votes.
	Pool shitter.
	I mean, 38 is not 30.
	I can't help pool shitters funny in a comment online.
	Think of the t-shirts, people.
	Think of the t-shirts.
	Do you want to wear a shit chest or do you want to wear a funny and we showed you the rough draft?
	Do you want to wear a funny pet monster shirt?
	Hey, you know what's weird?
	I used to be able to eat a huge meal and go straight to sleep, but I can't anymore.
	Thanks for the update, Bruce.
	Good to know.
	So this is the cooking show.
	Maddie and I are going to figure this out after the show.
	Yeah, I'm going to Nashville on Monday to do Mike Lerner and Gina Bontempo's podcast.
	My new thing with interviews is I will do any interview with anyone as long as we can have it and put it on our show too, on our network.
	Just content, right?
	Pretty good.
	Pretty good.
	I used to, you know, this is going to go great because I used to do a cooking show called Cooking with Comics.
	Right.
	Well, the thing about Maddie's kitchen is it's the size of this desk.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	I don't have as much.
	I'm actually being generous, right?
	Yeah.
	So GoPro on the ceiling.
	I have a GoPro.
	So we should, you know, we should do two things, Maddie.
	We should do, and I'll pay for everything, but like your ideal meal, which would probably be a very delicious, fancy meal.
	But then also, I'd like to see a prison meal.
	Okay.
	With like, you know, crumpled up corn flakes and sardines or whatever to make the fake nuggets.
	Mackerel's a big one.
	The what?
	Mackerel, mackerel.
	Cheaper than tuna.
	You know, people are on a budget in there.
	That is a gamey fish.
	I just had mackerel at a sushi joint the other day, and man, is that a fishy fuck?
	Maybe it was bad sushi.
	Shit, Mercedes sent me a letter today and asked me to tell people to help her with her commissary, but I forgot the fucking letter.
	Do a Maddie email.
	That was the only one with the subject, Maddie, that has not been read.
	Wait, I got one from January 23.
	In 2011 interview with Teen Vogue, you were quoted as a...
	No, no, no, not the subject shit for brains.
	You just put Maddie into the search bar.
	What winds up happening is we get a lot that says, hey, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.
	Yeah, that's fine.
	Oh, okay.
	But this one has to do with him.
	Can we read it?
	Yes, you may.
	In 2011, dear Maddie, an interview with Teen Vogue, you're quoted as saying, I'm a huge fan of sluts, and I know when I'm dating one, I will spend less money on her and push harder and sooner for unlubed analyze.
	Now, a decade later, do you still stand by this belief system, Randy?
	Teen Vogue.
	That's not funny, dude.
	I don't think I was there for Teen Vogue.
	Okay.
	I don't know.
	You know what that is?
	That's someone who's drunk, and they sent that email thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, and then they read it the next day in their scent box, and they went, what?
	I don't even get that.
	Well, one, I don't have sex with teens, because I'm not a pedophile.
	But anal sex, I'm not opposed to it.
	I mean, I don't.
	It makes no difference to me either way.
	If the girl likes it, enjoys it, she wants it.
	I do it.
	If not, no big deal.
	Yeah, I'm not against it.
	One time I was fucking a girl in the pussy, and I thought I was putting it in her ass.
	And she goes, that's actually very flattering because it shows you that my pussy is as small as my ass.
	I had a similar story.
	I was fucking this broad, and I was like, God damn, your pussy's so fucking tight.
	And she goes, you're in my ass.
	I'm like, okay.
	Noted.
	Well, I don't know what your pussy's like then.
	It probably sucks.
	Okay, we got one here.
	I'm lining up these pictures because you got some screenshots.
	Screenshots.
	Screenshota.
	My wife and kids are away all next week.
	They're going to visit the in-laws.
	You're away.
	They don't exactly have Gabbyitis, so I'm not going.
	So I'm going to do Monday and Tuesday, I think, are going to, maybe Monday is going to be a rerun or a Gavin McInnis show.
	Tuesday, I think I can get back in time to shoot.
	And then Wednesday, we'll do Kumia.
	Thursday will be the live show.
	And then Friday, we're off to AFPAC.
	AFPAC.
	Where I'm going to interview black, white nationalists, which should be funny.
	Nice.
	But it's funny, when your family goes away, you're like, finally, I can get some shit done.
	I'm going to finish the basement.
	I'm going to build this, build that, fix this, fix that.
	I'm going to finish my book.
	I'm going to do all this stuff.
	And what do you do?
	You make spaghetti.
	You watch Chicago PD, which you don't even like.
	Hank Voigt.
	Hank Voigt.
	And you just fucking...
	I looked him up.
	I was watching it today.
	I'm already practicing for the next week.
	I was like, look at you, you fucking midget.
	How tall are you?
	And then I look him up online.
	He's my height.
	I'm a midget.
	Hey, I'm a short guy.
	I might get angry of hearing all this short shit.
	I might have to punch you in the face.
	Same here.
	I'm short, but you got to get wide.
	Look at these wings.
	How tall are you, Ryan?
	5'7, soaking wet.
	5'6, something like that.
	I haven't measured in a while.
	What are you, Maddie?
	5'8 ⁇ ?
	Well, my driver's license says 5'8.
	Oh.
	My doctors and my nurses, they argue with me and tell me I'm like 5'6 and 3 quarters.
	And I'm like, I'm at least 5'7.
	They're like, no, you're not.
	I'm like, yes, I am.
	They're like, okay.
	I was 5'11.
	I'm now 5'10 and a half.
	Well, you shrink after your compression.
	Yeah, when you're 70, no, you're not.
	My mom was shrinking at 4'11.
	My dad was like 5'10, 5'11.
	Everyone's taller than me and my family.
	Like, my mother was sick when she was pregnant with me, so I was born 4 pounds, like 3 ounces.
	You're a preemie.
	No.
	I was born full-term, but my mother had gotten sick at some point, and I was 4 pounds, 3 ounces, and I had to spend 13 days in an incubator.
	I think that's why I got all these fucking conditions and shit.
	Do any of your male, your brothers have heart problems?
	It's genetic.
	Both of my brothers have been seen a cardiologist, and we have like this thing called familia hypercholesterolemia.
	We have very high triglycerides, which acts fat in your blood.
	Like our livers just continue to create cholesterol.
	So there is like that would predetermine you to having like CAD, which is cardiovascular disease, like when you get blockages in your arteries and stuff, and they got to do the bypasses.
	But so far, I've told everyone in my family, all my son, my...
	So you're the shitty heart guy.
	Your brothers are not that bad.
	I have a gene mutation, a TTN gene mutation.
	But you've got all this shit literally on your heart right now, like a defibrillator, a monitor.
	They don't have that.
	Yeah, it's there.
	They don't have that.
	And I'm getting another device put in.
	But your brothers don't have that.
	No, no, no.
	No.
	How the fuck do I upgrade my gifted subscription out of it?
	Email support at censored.tv.
	Let's take a call.
	Call taken.
	We had that email lined up too, but we'll take a call real quick.
	Want to talk about the pedophile at Facebook 360.
	Oh, my boys.
	Boys, my boys.
	We all put the last vestige of beauty.
	That episode with Milo is the freaking best.
	When you guys watch with Nell and I, it changed my life.
	Had you seen it before the movie?
	No, you introduced me to it.
	Oh, it's so good.
	What a beautiful movie.
	I wanted to talk about...
	I wondered if you saw the Facebook guy, the head of development or something.
	He got caught trying to meet a 13-year-old boy today.
	Really?
	Didn't hear that?
	Is he the big part of the meta thing?
	He's community development.
	Interesting.
	Interesting that you want to create a digital universe.
	You're against people meeting in person.
	You want to create a digital universe.
	Sounds like a grooming universe.
	The pediverse.
	Yeah, the pediverse.
	Little kids can be adults.
	They identify as an adult.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Let's look that up.
	Yeah.
	Metaverse.
	We're going down the rabbit hole later.
	This is not a good trend.
	I understand you have to text someone, hey, my car broke down.
	I can't meet you.
	But it's something to avoid.
	Jaron Miles had a global community development for MetaFacebook, caught trying to meet a 13-year-old boy.
	Aren't all fags trying to meet 13-year-old boys?
	What percentage of gay men are not interested in 13-year-old boys?
	I'm going to just throw a number out there.
	I'm going to say 60.
	I don't think just because someone's gay that means they're attracted to juvenile boys.
	But I used to be the pattern.
	I'm just guessing, but I'm going to...
	My gut is telling me it's around 40% of gays would love to have sex with a 13-year-old boy.
	A gay boy.
	But still pedophilia.
	Yes.
	So I used to work from the Carlisle Hotel on East 76th Street.
	And there was a high-end resident apartment there.
	And there was a guy that used to come out all the time.
	He's like one of those guys you see getting fisted in the swing.
	He's a bald head, beard, got the big, you know, real thick gauge loop earrings.
	And these little, these young boys would be going in and out of that apartment all fucking day.
	And I know he's paying them fucking thousands.
	I just get like.
	Now, Milo had his whole career canceled for saying that when he was molested as a 14-year-old, it wasn't as bad because he's gay.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Like, there definitely is something where if a 21-year-old teacher fucks a 16-year-old boy, it's like, well, you should probably not do that.
	If a 21-year-old male teacher fucks a 16-year-old girl, I'm slitting your throat.
	Yeah.
	And in the era of false equivalencies, they go, those are both the same.
	Let's stop lying.
	They're not the same.
	But say you get into that pattern of saying they're not the same.
	What about a hot 21-year-old teacher fucks a 16-year-old boy?
	What about a, and then a male teacher fucks a 16-year-old girl.
	That's horrific.
	What about a gay male teacher at 21 fucks a 16-year-old boy, who's also rampantly gay?
	Unfortunately, there's...
	It doesn't seem quite as bad as the other one.
	But the law is even across for all of them.
	Yeah.
	Doesn't make a difference what the sex of each traitor and victim are.
	The sentencing seems to favor the law.
	Morally, guys, I would say the public would be like, well, the 16-year-old boy was fucking his hot teacher.
	That's not so bad.
	Well, the thing about gays, too, is they're about to embark on a lifestyle of fucking 937,000 men.
	With a woman, you're like, I'm worried about her chastity.
	She's only going to have so many lovers.
	And obviously now it's crazy numbers, but like in the baby boomer days, it was like, I'm going to have seven lovers.
	So you're like, you ruined one of her seven.
	But with gays, it's like, you ruined one of his 900,000.
	Like, I've talked to gays where I would brag about a threesome I had, and they're like, a threesome?
	What are you, a fag?
	I have eightsms.
	And you're like, eightsms?
	Well, where's all the cum go?
	Do you have a drainage system?
	Do you do it over a sewer?
	Everywhere.
	Do you do it over a sewer hole?
	Hey, whatever their kinks are, as long as you're consuming adults, more power fucking topics.
	Hope you guys leave shower curtains down.
	Leave kids alone.
	Don't destroy your furniture.
	All right, we're coming to the end of the show here.
	Pretty fast-moving show here.
	This has not felt like a chore.
	Tech guys, if you're listening, the live questions froze up.
	We have a bunch of them queued, which is good news.
	Deficiency in the poll results.
	I just posted the link again.
	We already loved your analysis on.
	Got my name wrong.
	Yeah, you did.
	You have to do a segment where you give a real story behind the current events.
	Well, me describing Bob Saget's death split a lot of people.
	A lot of baby monsters were infuriated by how long I took.
	I thought it was hilarious.
	You should.
	And I think all good comedy is a greater truth.
	I think it's possible that's what happened.
	They said he had skull fractures akin to falling 30 or 40 feet or being hit with a baseball bat.
	Yeah.
	That just came out.
	And as I was saying to Maddie before we started the show, we've been to hotel rooms.
	Like, they're not like this.
	This studio is full of right angles.
	The floors are cement.
	We've got a foosball table there.
	Like, there's a lot of hard edges here.
	You go to a hotel room, and this might be because of fear of litigation.
	It's pretty round-edged.
	Like, there's not a lot of, like, sharp marble corners in a hotel room.
	Right.
	I mean, head wound.
	I mean, I've been hit in the head with a bat.
	I've been hit in the face across my forehead with a nightstick by a police officer.
	It sucked both times.
	I was hit very hard.
	Had massive lumps and everything.
	I don't...
	I've seen people get the slightest head wounds and you think they're okay.
	And I've know people personally that have died from a shot that you would never even think would kill.
	I had a buddy I used to hang out with a bar weight.
	Well, I guess I say the bar or the towel.
	He got into an argument with a guy and a guy threw and hit him with a brick right between his eyes.
	It cut his forehead a little bit.
	The guy was a huge dude.
	It wasn't like he was knocked unconscious or fell, you know, went home, fell asleep, and never woke the fuck up.
	Yeah.
	And then I've seen guys get punched and fall down and hit their head and die.
	And it's like, oh, you know, what the fuck?
	He was alive three seconds ago.
	I mean, the guy didn't intentionally kill him.
	Right.
	My gut is saying that there's some sort of like previous problem with them, some sort of, I don't know, tumor.
	It just seems very weird to bonk your head in a hotel room and be out unless you were murdered by a Colombian hitman.
	What a blonde streak.
	Are you going to ask Mike to fill in for you next week?
	Who's Mike?
	Am I stupid?
	Does he mean Joe Tonelli?
	Oh.
	Dude, that would be great.
	No.
	Yes, it would.
	Joe Tonelli does.
	That would be good.
	He just had six hours of surgery.
	Oh, right, right, right.
	He would just talk about himself the entire time.
	Really?
	Can you imagine Joe Tonelli sitting here at this desk?
	There's no way he could have a pre-planned show with like articles.
	He would look at me and ask what to do.
	He'd be like, oh, so what do I talk about now?
	I'd be like, dude, I don't know.
	No, do my job.
	He has to have a new audience to just spiel his bullshit.
	We're running a live studio audience.
	Ryan had a mailbag to go through, and he did an absolute cock-up.
	It was so bad we had to delete it.
	But then I did an Asian Gavin episode that everybody raved about, got the most comments on the site.
	So maybe that actually.
	Don't ever do this again.
	No, they weren't.
	They were like, this was great.
	Hilarious.
	I love it.
	Oh, this old argument.
	I think Orsimo says, just do anything instead of, does this do anything?
	Dude, we've been through this a thousand times.
	We've gone over this video 1 million times.
	Of course, your first instinct is just do anything.
	But if you go through it at NASA scientist levels, you realize that he's pointing to the bottle and he says, does this do anything?
	Just do anything.
	So we've been through this.
	He sounded drunk.
	He did sound a little drunk.
	He did Sound a little drunk, yeah.
	That's possible.
	Question for Maddie.
	Just curious to see if you knew the background story behind that kinfolk member killing that Bandidos president in an El Paso bar.
	Kinfolk are the black bandana-wearing middle between bloods and crips, I believe, right?
	Like Ice Cubes.
	Kinfolk Nation.
	Kinfolk, yep.
	Prison gang and stuff.
	Banditos are largely in the southwest.
	I've had a couple of them.
	I've encountered them a few times.
	Oh, a question.
	You'll notice when Maddie discusses biker gangs, things are very carefully said.
	Oh, I have to put it this way.
	Like, they're talking about a murder right there.
	Now, if I said that murder never happens in that environment or in that culture, I'd be lying.
	So there's no statutory limit on murder.
	So you could drift into the snitch box if you say the wrong thing.
	You mentioned names, dates, times, places, because it may or may not be seen by somebody that could say, hey, he mentioned something on this date and this state in the area.
	He didn't mention names, but we know the incident.
	So you're familiar with the incident?
	Listen, here's the thing.
	When you want to join a club or a gang or what, like we call it a motorcycle, it's a motorcycle club, 100%.
	We're not saying the Hell's Angel Motorcycle Club is a criminal street gang or a criminal organization.
	It is the most autonomous fucking organization ever.
	Everyone is independent of each other.
	There's no, like, say the Bandonitos, they have a national boss.
	They control that one guy sends orders down through his hierarchy.
	That's a guy.
	And you have to go through what he says.
	If not, you're going to get dealt with.
	That's not the club that I belong to.
	I've been out of the club for a long time now.
	I don't know how it is to this day.
	I was president of the charter I was in.
	I was in for many, many, many years.
	I know how things work.
	But like I said, I can't.
	I have to think about some of this.
	Like, if these things are public knowledge that's been in the paper and, like, the guy who cut the girl's head off and all this stuff, like a buddy of mine did a triple murder up in Massachusetts, killed three people, cut them up.
	They found him through the cell phone and the pocket after they buried him.
	Like, stuff like that.
	It's public knowledge already.
	But there's a lot of people that go missing and disappear and are found dead and they're unsolved.
	You know, so I have to be conscious of what details I may release.
	Are you familiar with this particular case?
	No, the Banditos have been having problems with a bunch of people like the Cossacks and other motorcycle clubs down in that area.
	But here's the thing.
	When you put that patch on or that club logo or you join a gang, you have to understand that there are inherent risks that either you're going to end up in prison for life or you're going to get fucking killed.
	It's a fucking reality.
	It's not a TV show.
	It's not gangland.
	It's not Sons of Anarchy.
	It's not Mayans.
	It's fucking real.
	Like girls used to be like, take me for rides, so I want to ride.
	And I'm like, no, because if I'm on the highway with you and there's somebody that doesn't like me or the club that I'm associated with, they try to run me off the road or they want to shoot me off my bike.
	Like those are real fucking things that I used to have to fucking deal with.
	Like, yeah, you have girlfriends, you have wives, you have mortgages, your bills, everything to fucking deal with that everyone in normal day life has.
	Then you have the Banditos, the pagans, the Mongols, the Vagos, law enforcement, federal law enforcement, local, county, Interpool, that all want to fucking lock you up and trap you and put you in jail forever.
	Like a lot of people don't deal with those outside stresses.
	You're opening a whole Pandora's box five minutes after the end of the show.
	We could do a whole episode.
	Oh, yeah.
	Do you think, and this is probably dumb to Pandora's box it even more, but do you think it's possible a lot of these gang members have kind of a death wish and are like, you know what?
	I don't care if I fucking die or if I go to jail for life.
	I'm in it to win it.
	If you look at the history of the clubs, they were like the outcasts.
	They weren't getting hot chicks.
	They weren't getting all the notoriety and the fame and the mystique and the outlaw, like the romanticizing of what an outlaw is and everything like that.
	That came all later.
	Now there's guys that drive, they're billionaires and multi-millionaires.
	Oh yeah.
	What do you call them?
	Weekend warriors.
	No, but what I'm saying is, there's members that are millions.
	They make a profitable living out of what they do and then they join the club and everything enhances.
	Like you're a celebrity without being in the movies.
	So back in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, they were like the guys that didn't work.
	They had no job.
	Their hair was blowing.
	They were dirty, grubby dudes.
	And the girls would run away from them.
	Like if they had an ugly broad from the bar, it was like, holy shit.
	He took our home from the bar.
	Like it was a big fucking thing.
	Like the bikes were all right because they had no money.
	They didn't work.
	They didn't do anything.
	Then they got involved.
	Not everyone, but back in the 60s, 70s, a lot of drug dealing.
	Everything went on and they found it was a way to earn money and all that good stuff.
	And some people did it and some people did.
	But today, like the members now, they all work.
	They have companies.
	They have their own businesses, websites, this.
	They're financially set.
	Like they're stable.
	Like back in the day, nobody worked.
	Like in the 60s.
	Nobody had a real job.
	Well, they did have a death wish, but not anymore.
	Right.
	They were the social outcasts.
	Nobody gave a fuck about them.
	We should do a whole camaraderie came around because they were all misfits.
	Okay, we're way beyond the time here.
	We have five more of these.
	Not to interrupt, but I donated after you agreed to perform Fallatio, spelled wrong, on a turd in a condom.
	I think I faintly remember that.
	If I commit to something, I have to do it.
	If I haven't done it, it means that I forgot or got lost.
	Like, I just mailed out the show notes to that guy who donated $100.
	I will suck a turd in a condom.
	Frozen?
	Well, yeah, it has to be frozen.
	Or maybe, can I use like a dog turd?
	Oh, that seems worse.
	My back porch is full of my dog turd.
	Your shit's cobalt.
	Why not do your shit?
	It's just cobalt.
	My shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N.
	Garbage.
	But yeah, I will do that.
	So make sure you write this down, Ryan, and we got to do this.
	If he donated, I assume he donated like $100.
	Put it on the whiteboard.
	Suck a turd.
	That's on your end of the video.
	G-Don't sucks a turd.
	Okay, we already got that one.
	No, I got a piss.
	Maddie, have you ever watched the guy LockDown23 and 1 from YouTube?
	He has a prison channel.
	It's pretty entertaining.
	Yeah, he was from Virginia.
	I've watched his little videos and stuff like that.
	He just really goes about people who are getting your boots smoked in court.
	Guys that go up in front of the judge on sentencing day.
	And when they get slammed with these outlandish dudes, like faint and cry.
	So it's a good show.
	I like it.
	The guy's entertaining.
	There's a lot of guys on YouTube that do come home from prison doing time.
	That's a great thing.
	I will bet money that Trump will be reinstated in 2022.
	That's crazy.
	Okay, let's bet money.
	I got fucking 10 grand I'd like to put on that one.
	That's a no-lose bet.
	If I lose money, I get Trump, which is cool.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Trump also knows that and says in a subtle way.
	Never ignorant getting goals accomplished.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Your stories from Montefuma fill me with envy.
	Alimony takes all my money.
	My life is shit since the divorce.
	Sometimes I want to say, fuck it, and drive down there and forge a new, simple life for myself.
	$5 grams of Coke, cheap hookers, and why shouldn't I do this?
	$20, and it's not a gram.
	$5 gram of Coke?
	Let me know where you're getting it.
	Coke's expensive everywhere, my friend.
	Okay.
	Celtic minister.
	And that wraps those up.
	Okay.
	Thanks for tuning in, folks.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Please stand back with your ideals.
	Your life will close your opinions.
	Taking what you want from me.
	I'm just saying I'll never begin.
	I won't be stuck on the Christmas tree.
	I want you to take what you need from me.
	Now I'm just.

▲