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Jan. 21, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:21:44
S04E78 - DEEP DIVE
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Time Text
Life is so easy for the straight-by man.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.
Do the same job, but get paid more.
Well, when we like them, don't get changed.
Don't get raped, then get blamed.
You understand?
It's just so easy for the straight white man.
It's just so easy for the straight white man.
He's gonna do all the things we can.
We can have sex and get married as well.
And the judge won't tell us now we're going to hell.
No one minds us having a child.
People do this you now with me to fight.
Hello.
Welcome to Get Off My Lawn.
I was a little late for work today.
I was out shopping, getting new outfits.
What do you think of this fit?
Why wasn't it on the normal HDMI?
Oh, because I restarted it.
I see.
That video was on my mind because I've noticed now there's all this old G-Dog content appearing on YouTube.
It might be my algorithms.
I mean, of course it's my algorithms, but I'm shocked at how much G-Dog shit there is up there, which is good for business because people can learn that I'm not David Duke.
And one of the things was I did commentary on that ridiculous fucking song.
Life is So Easy for the Straight White Man.
And it's meticulously laid out.
Like, he does man first, and he shows a guy getting cat called and having his ass grabbed.
Yes, please.
And then he does straight, and he has all these people like Fred Phelps type screaming and yelling at a gay guy, which is like, you can't even say what fraction of the population that is.
I mean, the Fred Phelps church is like five people.
And then he does white, and he has someone in a park eating a sandwich, and the cops plant drugs on him and take his sandwich.
What?
Is that a thing?
So it's pathetic.
And I also realize that that song is stolen from, I'm going to hate myself from loving you.
I'm going to hate myself for loving you, Dante.
What a cuck.
He invents this world where he pretends that men and women are the same.
And if we had their lives, we'd hate it.
You know what else?
If you're going to do that, why don't you say, like, it's so hard for gays, and then show, like, imagine a guy got 100 blowjobs from chicks a day?
Ugh, gross.
She must have got a lot of pussy.
I wonder if she fucked dudes.
Topia 10.
Is it rape if you beat off when you were a kid to her and you didn't know she was a lesbian?
Because she didn't tell us.
False advertising.
I think it's rape.
We should do a class action lawsuit.
All dudes who were teenagers when this song came out are suing her.
Hmm.
I'm getting real litigious these days.
When I was beating off to Morgan Webb.
Stop.
Who's Morgan Webb?
Well, she was the hottie boombaladi.
That makes her sound fat.
At G4?
I know why it makes her sound fat because that's the song you sing.
Fatty Boombalatty, Fatty Boombaladdy.
The Hotty Boombalatty?
So that's an attractive plump woman.
Like that model that's on our wall over there.
Hello?
I just wanted to...
That's my response.
No.
So who's the girl?
Morgan Webb from...
Morgan Webb.
She's probably from Rugrats or something knowing you.
It was that.
She's from Woody's girlfriend?
No, that's Jesse.
Oh, sorry.
I.E. She was...
A cartoon?
The gamer girl for G4 television when this was on TV.
Oh, dude.
That's a perfect segue to something I wanted to talk about.
Is it this broad?
Is it the chick that's like a pixie cut?
Yes.
Yeah.
So wait, is that the girl you just showed?
So that's rape.
Wait, stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
Too much information.
TMI.
Too much.
So the girl you just showed, you would touch yourself.
No, I would never actually beat herself.
When I think about you, I touch myself, but you would touch yourself.
How wouldn't you swimsuit?
Think about beating off to her.
You know what I mean?
Like, it was like, I couldn't beat off to like a clothed woman.
You know, you were attracted to her.
Yeah, but.
Okay, so that's not the subject here.
We're talking about actually going into the swimsuit area.
Uh-oh.
I might try washing this.
Yes, exactly.
I'm going to try washing this, not drying it, but washing it, and it might make it a little less.
You will find yourself wearing a wool shirt that's too big.
And your co-host has retarded, and you say, who is this chink?
How did I get here?
No, but, you know, she was so out of my league that I couldn't even beat off to her.
She was like...
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Out of my league.
But yes, she was so pretty, I couldn't have a fantasy about her.
You know what fantasies are?
They're riding a unicorn through outer space.
Are you good enough to do that?
No.
Okay.
Well, so this is rape because I was led to believe that she was supposed to be a sexy woman when she was eating hot dogs.
And, like, you know, there was a segment on her rape.
Her jawline's way too good.
That's too male.
Then there's this other broad, even hotter, but apparently I'm not supposed to be desiring that.
Oh, so this was all a segue so you could show this clip.
By the way, is that what you were doing?
Pretty much, yeah.
Okay.
So, you know what I noticed about this clip?
It's a chick trying to dress like a dude because she takes a bunch of internet comments seriously and is like, okay, if I can't be pretty, then I'll just be like one of the guys.
Lady, you're a smoke show.
You're incredibly hot.
You're not as pretty as Olivia Munn, who's in the top 1%.
You're still very attractive.
You don't have to give up.
And if you are going to give up, don't wear a jean jacket from a toy store.
Like if you're trying to be a dude, first of all, we don't wear Darth Vader's fucking hoodie, A, or the hoodie that Darth Vader's boss wears, sorry.
And B, when we get a jean jacket, you get a Levi's.
If you wore that jean jacket in high school, you would be ridiculed.
I remember when I was a little kid, I really wanted a blue jeans.
That's how old I am.
They were kind of rare, like 76, 77.
And my mom was so cheap, she was like, I'm not getting him denim trousers.
So she got me these things called Roadrunners.
And they were denim trousers, but they were girls.
And they had these little, they had these little slits right here instead of pockets where you could just maybe put a few quarters in.
But they weren't pockets like this.
They were slits.
And the back was the same.
And it was for sexy teens who didn't want to obfuscate their cherry red asses with any kind of like wallet or anything.
So you could carry on maybe a third of a business card, but nothing of consequence that would malshape you.
And I wore them to school and I was laughed out of the school.
And I said, thanks a lot, mom.
These are women's jeans, which she denied.
She thought she could trick me.
That reminds me of my son.
Before we get back to the subject at hand, so for his birthday, he wanted to dye his hair blue.
And my wife goes, are we okay with that?
And I go, I don't give a shit.
If it's a huge mistake, then he learned a lesson.
Like my daughter, when she was about nine, 10, she goes, I want to shave one side of my head and keep the rest long.
I said, go bananas.
And then everyone at school called her a lesbian.
And she goes, I don't like this.
And I was like, well, you made your bed.
Now you lie in it.
Wait for it to grow out.
Now, to dye hair blue, there's two ways to do it.
There's the spray you get at the mall that's for Halloween, right?
And then there's actual like manic panic blue dye.
Now, my wife didn't seem to understand this because she didn't grow up punk, despite what she claimed when we were recording.
Putting manic panic in normal brown hair is like taking a brown piece of paper and then taking a blue crayon and going like that.
You're not going to see the blue crayon very well.
The spray thing I just told you, that's like cutting out a piece of blue construction paper and putting it on top.
So this morning, sorry, last night, he put the manic panic in and then he washed it out.
He's nine.
And he was all bummed out because he goes, it doesn't look very blue.
I go, it looks as blue as a blue crayon on brown paper.
It's going to be hard to see.
If you really want to have blue hair, you've got to strip it and make it super duper blonde.
And then you add the paint.
And now it's a blue crayon on yellow paper, which is much more visible.
But that washes out after time.
And now you have blonde hair.
You look like a pretty girl.
Are you prepared for that?
And he didn't seem to understand what the fuck I was talking about.
So then I wake up in the morning and my wife is equally disappointed that it didn't work.
It did work.
So she puts it in his hair just a little bit and then says he's going to dry it.
And so I see him and I go, my wife was dropping the other kids at school and I go, no, no, no, no, no, we're not doing this.
You have a lump of blue paint, literally a lump of blue paint in your hair.
Anytime you touch your head, you're going to get blue.
Look, and I touched it and I had blue fingers.
So I go, get in the shower and wash it out.
He goes, I can't wash it out.
I'm a man of my word.
And I said I was dying my hair blue.
I go, I appreciate the man of your word thing.
And I shook his hand, which he didn't know how to do.
You got to get the thumbs here.
I said, I appreciate the man of your word thing, but this isn't dyed blue.
This is a lump of shit on your head.
So he walks out.
And now he's bummed.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
He's crying.
I'm making him sound like a nerd.
He's not that nerdy.
And then I'm trying to get him dressed to help him get dressed.
And he's freaking out about the hair thing still.
And I'm getting mad.
And then he leans forward as I'm helping him with his pants.
And we butt heads, literally.
And it fucking hurt.
Now I'm mad.
And then I'm mad at myself later for losing my temper.
I didn't do anything to him.
I left the room and went, ah!
No, it was more like, ah!
And slammed the door.
And then my wife comes back, and that's his birthday, and he's crying.
So she goes to the CVS and gets the spray.
Anyway, when all that happened, I thought, oh, that'll make a great story for the show.
But now that I say it, it seems really mundane.
But anyway, to get back to the original task at hand, and don't think I forgot what I was talking about.
One of my talents is that I can go off at a huge tangent and bring it all back.
So my daughter cut the side of her hair.
I said he can dye his hair blonde.
He chose this bizarre route that my wife went with him on, and it was a catastrophe.
Okay, now what was I talking about?
You're not.
Blue-haired chicken, this pixie woman.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So if you're going to be a guy, you need a Levi's jacket.
Here in Mandem, like when we buy a shirt like this, it has to be a Pendleton.
It can't just be like a fake one.
So men don't wear...
I know she's not literally trying to be a man, but she's trying to be one of the guys.
And that's not how we dress.
That's a girl's jean jacket.
So you look like a girl dressed as a guy, which I guess is exactly what you are.
Anyway, let's hear the diatribe that Ryan made us watch.
Sexism in gaming.
In joining G4, I'm going to grab because I want to keep my job.
I have no idea.
I'm listening.
Yeah.
In joining G4, I was ecstatic to be part of something that I grew up watching as a child.
But every time G4 is brought up in various channels, even in this YouTube channel, we have the chat in front of us.
I can see you.
Without a doubt, there will be backlash because I'm not as bangable as the previous host.
It's somehow.
Talk to him, folks.
It has somehow been excited.
Stop.
Now, honey, you're talking, and you have way too many tattoos.
You're talking about a demographic that is primarily male.
I don't know what gaming is.
It's not my cup of tea, as you know.
It's probably 80 to 90% male, right?
They're also, I know the average age is 35, but I'm assuming for this show, they're much younger.
So, or at least if they're commenting on bangability, they're probably 14, 15.
That is the horniest time of a human's life.
Not a woman.
Women eventually get kind of horny when they get older, but no one is as horny as a 14, 15 year old male.
They're figuring it out.
They're cursed.
And that was God's design.
He didn't know that we'd be having civilized societies.
Well, he did, but you know what I mean?
The body's slowly adapting to that.
But for the past 100,000 years, we've been warring and fucking and dying.
By the time we're 20, we're done.
So we still got a lot of catching up to do naturally.
But genetically, we're still in this fucking horn zone.
So while we're horning it up, we're like, like you see a woman and you go, I would rather fuck Olivia Man.
Her dits aren't big enough.
Yeah, if you read the comments of teenage boys, you're going to see a lot of objectification.
That's very difficult objectification, but that's the scenario you're in, my dear.
It's kind of what you signed up for.
Like people talk about how ugly I am or how I say I work out and I still look like Grover.
That's what I signed up for.
I'm criticizing people.
You're going to get criticized.
It's not some political rights, civil rights shit.
It's not the 50s.
It's not that you're not allowed to go to a white school or a black school.
No, this is not.
You're not Martin Luther King because you notice the dudes are jerking off.
Calm the fuck down, you silly cunt.
And of course, no one would ever say this to her.
I'm not.
So someone said, she's not hot at all.
And she's making it into some sort of political argument.
Yeah, a 14-year-old said something rude about a woman who was on TV.
And by the way, the irony of all this is, you're there because you're a woman.
And the previous women were there because they were women.
Now, back in the previous guests, like Olivia Munn, they were there because they were sexy women.
She's there for more affirmative action stuff.
It's all, none of its meritocracy, I'm afraid.
Go ahead, bitch.
It's not a compliment.
It's dehumanizing.
It's a compliment.
It's dehumanizing?
You're not a human if I want to fuck you?
What is it?
Bestiality every time we get laid?
It's not remotely dehumanizing.
And you better be happy that men are horny because if they weren't, there wouldn't be any people in the world.
It's pretty natural for teenage boys to have a boner.
Believe me, I was there.
It was a fucking curse.
I don't know how these kids did get away with sweatpants.
me let's see how she feels when no one's talking about jacking off to her I think she's gonna be a little more upset the only As I said in that white male video, the only thing that women hate more than cat calling is the day it ends.
Written and produced by a team of people.
There are too many games for one person to shoulder the burden.
So we divide.
The burden.
The burden.
Which is.
Conquer.
The burden, which is the bold video game.
Which, like, we or I, that's the reviewer.
That's coming from the mouth and experience of the reviewer reading that review.
And that's not to say that Gerard, TBH, Adam, or myself don't contribute to the reviews.
We absolutely do.
But it'll always be in varying degrees and take a whole team behind us.
That's why we're X-Play and not Adam Play.
We have done the experiment and controlled for the variables.
Look at this.
What's worse than men?
I don't know.
That looks like a...
You know what this means?
This means kill me last.
This means don't fire me.
I support you.
You can see in his eyes, he's like, this is obligatory.
This good.
You could have a black guy who was late for this show, and he said, I don't think we should have to adhere to white time standards.
And everyone would go, it goes back to Eddie Gloud.
It goes back to fucking...
Wait, what's going on here?
This is somebody juxtaposing all the times they sexualize their hosts.
Oh, okay.
I think you might, this might be...
Yum.
She might be talking to the management instead of the actual audience.
By the way, these women being objectified, they're in hell right now.
Don't they hate it?
Oh, poor, poor girls being admired by millions of men.
Sorry, go back to her diatribe.
Adam will read a script written by the same writer that I will read the other half of the script for, but I'll be the one flamed.
And yeah, it also happens to Gerard and TBH, but that doesn't discount the sexism of how it happens to me when it does.
Both things can be true, that there is a general hatred of any change that isn't Adam and that all receive special flame just for being a woman.
You know what's ironic about this?
Women shouldn't be in the workforce.
They're too emotional.
They shouldn't be in politics.
They're too emotional.
And she obviously doesn't have thick enough skin.
Look at the tattoos and the piercings and all the bullshit.
Like she's already trying to hide her identity.
She's already ashamed of herself.
And she's saying, I get insults.
Okay, so you shouldn't be at this job.
You can't handle it.
Oh my God.
Look what they took from you, people.
This is when gamers had a shred of testosterone left because they haven't evolved into just like a basement dwelling neckbeard yet.
Get woke, go broke.
Yeah, gamers used to be, you know, fat, horny dudes who didn't get laid.
So G4 said, okay, well, we'll put hot chicks on and at least you can beat off if you're not out there getting laid in the real world.
The camera around so that you can see the incredible team that make X-Play.
Half of our producers and writers are women.
Can you do that?
Can you do that, please?
And when you're doing it, can you please show us which are affirmative action hires like you?
Like which ones, can you show me the resume of the white male cameraman and then show me the resume of the little fucking fat chick next to him with a clipboard that was hired straight out of her internship?
Because there's probably quotas now and there's quotas because of bitches like you constantly whining.
It's pretty meta when you think about it.
Like she's using affirmative action hires as proof that women deserve to be there.
And she's one.
Emily, Abby, Megan, Joe, Jake, Zipper, Gabby.
It goes on and on and on.
Joe and Jake We can't assume.
Why is Jake an example of women?
Are we now getting confused because some identify as male?
Well, if you identify as male and you change your name to Jake, you can't be used in a checklist, I'm afraid.
And do you know anything about this, G Ford?
Do you watch it?
I remember being on and watching a little bit of it, but it's almost like even if you like sports, are you a guy that watches sports commentary?
So I liked video games, but not enough to really watch the show.
But I remember that.
You could just say no next time I ask you a question.
A little bit.
Like it mattered to me, like in retrospect.
It was part of the culture of.
Do you know that black guy?
No, I think he's new.
So that's a diversity hike.
There wasn't any black guy.
I don't know.
Maybe he's some video game expert who does deserve to be there, but my gut says...
Maybe.
I'm sure he plays video games.
You know, but.
Out on ATOS like Vanessa.
When you're in our DMs or on those YouTube comments or in Twitch chat right now, those reactionary threads thinking that I'm somehow ruining your current X-Play experience because you can't objectify me how you previously did to Morgan or that I'm somehow less qualified to speak on something, but you can't quite put your finger on why,
even though I'm reading the exact same script as Adam.
Okay, stop.
You have no problem with it.
Stop, stop.
You just gave away that you guys are not spontaneous and you're not using your own opinions and it's all scripted.
Whoops.
Way to ruin your own show.
We suspected that was true, but every time you see someone talking, the illusion, even I'd argue with a newscaster, you know, that's why they have their papers here.
The illusion is that he's talking to you as a person.
And we're willfully ignorant most of the time.
We pretend that it's not scripted.
But with something like a show like G4, you definitely want to think that that guy's giving you his opinion.
You just wrecked it, you silly cow.
This is the problem when you hire people not based on who they are.
And she's saying she can't be objectified.
Why?
Because she's wearing a little kid's toy jean jacket.
Oh, I can objectify you, bitch.
I've fucked a million girls who look like that.
You don't need to be wearing an Academy Awards gown for me to get a boner.
And dude, furthermore, like female Twitch streamers, they just show off their tits.
They don't care about gaming.
Like the majority of them don't.
So this is like a for nerd guys.
And then they come in like with those microphones that they lick for ASMR.
and it's just like, it's a complete.
There was a great rant that Nick posted, Nick Fuentes posted.
He was like, go off, king.
And it was this kid, really pissed.
This kid loves gaming, like it's his life.
That's sad.
And he's talking about how the Twitch stream spaces, all these horrors, just basically it's a softcore OnlyFans showing.
Like it came to a point where you're not allowed to show feet on Twitch.
They had to react to that because there were girls just like wiggling their toes.
Well, I've seen this chick on crazy shit.com.
There's some chick who stutters.
Fuck, cunt.
She's got Tourette's and she's British.
And she always has her tits, like barely.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think Brittany Venti is a little guilty of that too.
And some other.
Her tits are so good.
Pokey Maine is another broad.
Sweet Anita Tourette's.
What kind of faggot though, bitch is about too much tits?
Yeah, I'm trying to watch my game commentary.
That's her, yeah.
And a lot of these girls are getting me horny.
Well, I think the thing is that they're oversaturating the Twitch streams and they don't care about...
Like, it's not about gaming anymore.
It's about a girl trying to be hot and it's working.
But here's the thing about Instagram, too, when you're going through reels, it's just a girl going.
Yeah, but...
And it's just oversaturated.
Yeah, you shouldn't be watching reels anyway.
I don't watch reels, but yeah, yeah.
But all that is, and I hate when it's fucking 12 and 13 year olds, but all that is, is women putting themselves out there and saying, hey, I'm sexy.
It's like advertising.
Right.
So her rant should be aimed at women that use gaming as a vehicle to show up.
No, her rant is aimed at a couple of 14-year-olds who said, she's a fucking bitch.
And I wouldn't even fuck her.
Which, if that bothers you, I couldn't imagine reading YouTube comments and being like, what the fuck?
That's not even true, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't even get mad at letters.
That's someone probably over 20 sitting down and writing out something they thought hard about.
Right.
This fucking bitch.
And he's part of it.
You're letting your unconscious biases ruin my day and you're gatekeeping the gaming space.
So maybe you're gatekeeping the gaming space by what?
Criticizing you?
This is like Dr. Fauci saying, criticizing me is criticizing science.
Right.
I'm the soil.
If you talk about how you don't want to fuck me, you've ruined video games.
Okay.
What did you do?
Around she goes.
Is this some weird thing where it's getting deleted as we speak?
Maybe.
Wow, how did they get away with that?
Oh, it's a balloon popping game.
She's probably so traumatized.
She's laughing pretty hard.
Go back to that montage where they made fun of G4.
Ew, look at all that hell yes stuff.
What happened, Ryan?
We got one vid frozen.
This one should be good, though.
It's a good edit to Juxta.
Here we go.
Sexism in gaming.
Here we go again.
Morgan Webb, Olivia Mund, did not exist to be nice on the eyes for you.
Ah, crap!
Roll it.
She's got a kind of a girl next door thing, too, going, which is great.
Not that, you know, she's not a nine.
And Morgan Webb had like a goth face.
Like she didn't dress goth, but her face looked like a goth chick, if that makes sense.
Thanks, Brian.
Ew, look at her teeth.
Sexism.
Objectify women hate women.
Sexism.
Sex is a woman.
Half of our producers and writers are women.
Emily, Abby, Megan, Joe, Jake, Zipper, Gabby.
If you don't like it, don't watch it.
Peace.
Well, now we have to get to the end of that fucking video.
I can't believe it's taken up the entire show.
Just like this shirt is taking up my entire body.
The exact same script as Adam, but you have no problem with he's part of it.
You're letting your unconscious biases ruin my day, and you're gatekeeping the gaming space.
So maybe for 2022, we'd be a bit nicer, a bit more self-reflective, and we enjoy the fact that people are working hard to make free content for you.
If you don't like it, don't watch it.
Peace.
I don't need to go.
I don't need to frost the bus.
I don't need to go.
Don't.
Don't.
We're good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
That was...
That was the best it's ever going to get out of us.
I don't need to go.
Thank you for.
Everyone is so petrified at being fired.
Here's this broad.
Ask me fucking anything about my dick.
Are you planning on playing any other games on this channel?
I do play other games sometimes.
I'm currently working on it with a potato PC, so it's given up on me a few times when I've tried to play other games.
But I do play The Forest.
I play Bioshock.
I play with my dick on a Tuesday.
Fuck you.
And Jesus.
Fuck you.
Bitch lasagna.
Bitch lasagna.
Bitch lasagna.
People are really, men are really turned on by this, by the way.
Is it because she seems more vulnerable and weak?
I fucked the biscuit.
God fucked my biscuit.
Or maybe because you couldn't be bored if someone has Tourette's?
Maybe.
I want to have a Tourette's friend.
Can we get someone with Tourette's?
Yeah, call into the show if you have Tourette's.
Although I'm suspecting there's a lot of N-words.
With Tourette's?
Yeah.
Right?
In America?
And I don't want to be in East New York, Bushwick, or Harlem with someone who's screaming effing N's.
Yeah, that would be bad.
That could be...
I'd have to test my Crab McGraw.
You could just wear like a I'm With Stupid shirt that points towards him.
He has Chourettes.
You're like, I don't like this guy.
So, Ryan, you fucked up as usual.
We are recording an Evergreen episode for Days When I'm Not Here.
This could be aired two weeks from now.
And you just did an incredibly topical thing, even knowing it was Evergreen, and it's taken up more than half the show.
Why'd you do that?
Whoops.
That's like your 17th mistake today.
Anyway, unless you're seeing this on Friday of what day are we here?
We're recording this on.
Sorry.
We're recording this on January 13th.
So unless you're seeing it on the 14th, that's some ancient news that we just ruined a show with.
So this has been a terrible show.
In fact, we may want to just re-record this and just avoid that whole thing.
What should we do now?
Maybe we'll make this the show for the 14th.
Yeah.
That's tight.
But now, what do we do on Friday?
See, it's extra work you give us with your idiocy.
Hmm.
Let's jump to this shark.
We'll figure out what to do later.
Here's a massive...
This is a truly evergreen massive bite on a massive shark, 1-1.
The fuck is going on here?
So if you look at the, obviously the close-up there is the bite mark, but if you look at the second picture, you can see where the bite mark was.
The thing that bit him, I assume it's a much bigger shark.
What else is it going to be?
An eel?
It's not going to be a whale.
It had a bite that probably included that little fin on this, the little side fin there.
So a 15-foot great white looks like it was bitten by something that was about 40% bigger.
So a 20-foot great white or so?
A fucking...
Yeah, a 22-foot shark.
There's some big fucking sharks out there.
Let me ask you this.
When you die and you get to be a ghost, do you zip around in the ocean too?
I would like to do that.
I might do that for like, obviously you're going to be dead for thousands of years.
And then you die.
Infinity.
So if you're going to be around for infinity, spend a million years in the ocean.
Although, wait a minute.
No, I'm not doing that.
I might spend like four or five years in the ocean.
Humanity is too exciting and moving too fast.
I'm going to spend most of my time with humanity.
They'll probably die out in, I don't know, like 10,000 years.
And then I got plenty of time to go fuck around in the ocean.
Imagine this would be a great torture.
If you're put inside of a fiberglass cell that's weighted, and then the mob drops you off alive, and you're descending into the ocean.
And it's pressurized so that way your head doesn't crush.
And then when you're going down, just the light starts going away and it's all dark and you could feel it's cold.
And these things start showing up.
And then you fucking see this thing.
Single women?
Yes.
And drunk drivers?
But those things you're showing.
Oh, that's that vampire squid.
Those things you're showing are like one in a billion.
Like the odds of you bumping into one are basically zero.
And then the anglerfish and all those other weird albino dudes, you might see one.
And it's not going to be a tube.
To go that deep, you've seen what they do.
It's like these crazy super iron cast domes that are, you know, four feet thick.
It's a lot of pressure that they're pushing back on.
That's true.
So all that would happen is you'd plonk down there, and I guess you would starve to death.
Right?
Or you'd die of thirst.
So that's a lame torture.
That's your 17th mistake today.
Well, this would...
Seeing anything like this would...
You're not going to see that.
You're just going to plonk down into the blackness.
Who's lighting up?
And by the way, that's 10 feet down.
What the fuck are those things?
Those little snakes?
Oh, there's Patrick.
Hey, SpongeBob.
Yeah, apparently that's their only food down.
That's not the bottom of the ocean.
But at the bottom of the ocean, their only food down there is dead whales.
We need to save our ocean.
Speaking of Satan, a parasite that replaces a fish's tongue is the grossest thing in the world.
Don't you love this evergreen stuff?
This is from Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan.
And if you look at the second picture, is God sending us a message with these?
Like, that's an alien.
Why did he make the eyes blue?
These parasites, what are they called again?
I forget what they're called.
But they take over your tongue.
His first photograph documentation in this new species of tongue replicating crustacean in this coast of South Africa compared to its relative, Simotha exegius.
Simotha springbok is much larger and possesses A mightier mustachio than the other one.
What a way to go.
Your tongue is replaced with a fucking parasite.
That's like that cop we had who had to chop his tongue out because he ate so much pussy, he got tongue cancer.
And what did they use again?
They used like part of his arm to replace his tongue?
Wait, please don't freak out when you find this.
Go back again?
I'm freaking out.
You shouldn't freak out when you come across a bunch of tongue parasites.
Do you want me to eat the fish anyway?
Many of Sandab's and many...
I can't read that with me in the picture.
What does that mean?
Please don't freak out.
God, people are stupid.
Oh, this article.
Speaking of the G4 being ancient Chinese secret, this is the ancientest Chinese secret.
Why wokeism will rule the world.
Remember this article from 100 years ago?
It's archived on the internet.
Ancient Tiny Secret.
Did you just make that right now?
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
Thanks.
I'm going to erase four of your mistakes for that.
Not bad.
You're down to 13 mistakes.
Ancient tiny secret.
Is that another four?
No.
No, now you're back up because that wasn't funny.
What?
We need to ban wokeism.
The woke movement could be the next great U.S. cultural export, and it's going to do many other countries some real good.
Now, I read this article, and the guy's pretty intelligent, and he's relatively skeptical.
But this article is retarded.
And you know what's funny about it?
The picture they used for this thumbnail, yes, that's how old it is, I've had a file on my desktop called Evergreens that I've been throwing shit for weeks.
That's from White Lotus.
White Lotus is about this white family who goes on vacation.
The girl brings her black friend.
Her friend's not black, all right?
She is slightly black skinned.
And the friend is kind of woke, and she falls in love with one of the guys who works there, who's very Hawaiian, indigenous looking.
They fall in love.
They bang all the time.
And then she sees him entertaining the guests with like fire sticks.
And she goes, that's disgusting.
You know, this is your culture.
They've taken it away from me.
He's like, I never even really noticed.
I'm just doing my job.
She goes, no, your family's poor.
All these people are rich.
You know, one of these women has a bracelet that's worth $80,000.
So she sets up a thing where he can come in and steal it, and then he can quit his job and give that money, and they'll all be rich.
I don't know where he's selling this bracelet.
But anyway, it goes to shit.
I'm ruining the whole show for you, by the way.
Spoiler alert.
If you haven't seen White Lotus by now, though, you're never going to.
And he gets caught and he goes to prison.
So her bullshit woke ism ruined that guy's life forever.
And she doesn't get charged, but she should.
So it could have ruined her life, too.
And that's what you use to illustrate how awesome woke culture is?
Is that the same chick that interviewed Richard Spencer?
That clearly fucked Richard Spencer.
Come on.
We saw the way they talk to each other.
That's not a journalist.
I hate the way that woman looks.
Because we're so woke.
Speaking of woke, everything has a woke backbone to it.
That woman is a mediocre journalist, but because she was at Unite the Right, oh, Pulitzer Prizes, like she got scooped from Vice.
And now she's at CNN or something.
Speaking of which, the broads at Vice who think they're journalists, you got to check out this spinster.
So this girl and her boyfriend are obsessed with Proud Boys.
And Andy Campbell's writing a book on them.
He looks like the sort of a sloth from Ice Age.
And they contact me all the time.
It's funny because on their social media, all they do is shit on Proud Boys.
And then they contact me and try to sound like they're going to be fair.
Hey, man, how are things?
I just wanted some questions to ask you.
And, you know, nothing too heavy.
Just like a cool question.
Like, Enrique Tario, he's cool, but is he the coolest?
Or what do you think?
Are you kind of mad about the Fed thing?
Like, I'm going to go, oh, thanks.
Hey, buddy, what's going on?
So I just say to the girl, I know what's going on with you.
Your boyfriend doesn't have the balls to put a ring on it.
That's why you have a dog and your ovaries are drying up.
Why don't you focus less on this men's club?
And it's weird, too.
They're doing Excel spreadsheets about the Proud Boys and what they're up to.
And then you have like real journalists who are actually total amateurs like Tommy Robinson.
And I say amateur in a good way in this context.
His spreadsheets are every victim in, what's the name of that town?
Telford?
Yeah, every victim in Telford and who raped them.
And then if that guy has any, and then he cross-references them all and notices that like this is the top rapist in Telford.
This is second.
And he's trying to stop 13-year-olds from being raped by Muslim refugees.
Now, that's not woke enough.
I'm going to follow the proud boys around and see if any of them blurt out the N-word when they're drunk at a party.
So anyway, she's on some show.
Check out my getter.
This also gives away when we recorded this.
She's on some fucking show.
It's some weird beta male nerd from DC who has the depth of a fucking thumbnail.
And he wants to know.
No, it's at the top.
Yeah, well, it's loading them.
Okay.
He wants to know, what are the Proud Boys more like?
The KKK or the Nazis?
Like, I might sue this guy too now.
Somebody on Twitter says, happy sedition day.
Other people are Saying, hey, maybe it should be called Eugene Goodman Day or Capital Police Day.
Capitol Police Day.
You know, Eugene Goodman, right?
That's the black guy who said stop, and he had his hand on his gun.
They just, it's so random, the heroes they choose.
I can't tell you how many liberal Twitter accounts I've seen where the banner is Eugene Goodman.
Matthew Sowell tweets, I thought Christmas was National Lie to Your Children's Day.
Or how about Anti-Fascist Day?
Anyhow, we'll get this.
But wait a minute, dude.
Why did you choose, include the Santa one in that?
He's heartless.
Can you edit your own shit?
That's got nothing to do with what you're talking about.
I guess it sort of does.
Atheism goes hand in hand with their comic horse shit in a minute.
With us right now, however, I'm very pleased, is Tess Owen, senior reporter with Vice News, who covers extremists.
Oh, this sounds like an important journalist.
I wonder what her studio will look like.
The lighting will probably be great.
Extremists with guns at Vice.com.
Tessa's Twitter handle is Miss Tess Owen, M-I-S-S-O-S.
Wait, go back.
She's an expert on extremists with guns.
So I assume she's all over the black Hebrew Israelites and MS-13 Aryan nations and Redneck Revolt, right?
They're extremists with guns.
Or do they have to like Trump for you to care?
Guns, extremists with guns at Vice.com.
Wait, go back.
I didn't hear Tessa's Twitter in a minute.
Or how about Anti-Fascist Day?
Anyhow, we'll continue that conversation in a minute.
With us right now, however, I'm very pleased, is Tess Owen, senior reporter with Vice News, who covers extremists, guns, extremists with guns at Vice.com.
What a range.
Tessa's Twitter.
Extremists, guns, and extremists with guns.
He fucked up the thing.
You can't even read.
About the not fucking around coalition?
Yeah.
Can we see your work on them?
That's a lot of guns.
That looks pretty extreme.
It's about seven times any pictures of Proud Boys you've seen armed.
Where are they?
Like, Proud Boys never have guns.
That's the other thing.
They'll be like doing security for a march, and that involves going through some sort of perimeter that got a permit.
And to do that, the cops search you.
So if you're going into the event, you, and we don't go to their things, they go to our things, then you have to be disarmed.
So like all they have is fists.
If you want to do extremists with guns, you're probably going to end up with lefties most of the time.
Tess Owen, M-I-S-S-T-E-S-S-O-W-E-N, or Advice News.
Just put up a screen, fuckhead.
So, Tess, welcome to the program.
Tell us what's up with these white supremacist, white ethno-nationalist groups, and are the Proud Boys unique in this regard?
Actually, it's probably more of a follow-up question.
Let's start at the beginning.
The Proud Boys changed their tactics.
Tell us about this.
Hi, thank you so much for having me.
It's great to be here.
Yes, so obviously Proud Boys were under a lot of scrutiny after January 6th.
That was kind of when they became a household name.
And I think to date, there are over 50 members of the group who have been charged in connection with the Capitol riot.
And, you know, there was this wave charges.
There was rumors of infighting within the group.
There was this bomb report that came out saying that their leader, Enrique Tario, had at one point been a, quote, prolific law enforcement informant.
You know, she's getting all this from Telegram.
This woman, her job is to look at her phone.
And by the way, if you're so big in media, you can't figure out Skype.
You can't figure out Zoom.
You can't figure out FaceTime.
We can't have a video of you.
You just put up a pretty picture.
And then thirdly, you can hear her accent.
It's a sort of diluted posh British accent.
She's obviously been here for a long time.
And this is the crux of Proud Boy Research and their detractors.
It's middle-class posh journalists whose parents pay their rent versus blue-collar guys who pay their own way.
And the real thing that they abhor, they pretend it's the politics.
And racism in this day and age just means, I think you're gauche.
I think you're tacky.
They know that proud boys don't dislike black people, but they have to say that because that's the synonym for, oh, the lower classes.
So this whole thing has nothing to do with race or extremism or even Trump for that matter.
It's, I'm monitoring these plebes and making sure they don't lash out.
It's like she examines the savage animals of the Sahara desert in case they all band together and attack our settlements.
And all of this was kind of prompting some speculation that maybe this was the beginning of the end for the Proud Boys.
There was a sort of a lull in activity of kind of a few months after January 6th.
And then around the spring, I started noticing just scattered reports kind of surfing in local newspapers or on social media of Proud Boys in uniform showing up to kind of right-wing events around a range of issues like guns or abortion or masks,
COVID-19 restrictions.
And it seemed like they were organizing in much smaller numbers and on a much sort of quieter level.
And so I started logging these appearances.
Every time they showed up in uniform somewhere, I packed it in a spreadsheet.
Excuse me, in uniform.
What do you mean?
How do you not know what she means?
Like, do you have Google?
He's even stupider than her.
Proud boys, they have a uniform.
You can tell he wants to just talk about the KKK so badly.
Can we just get to my Nazi analogies, please.
Because this is sounding good.
Like they go to anti-mask things, anti-mask mandates, anti-vax mandates.
They go to pro-life rallies.
These are sounding like reasonable patriots that are involved in their local communities.
That's not what I brought you on for.
I want you to make this spooky looming threat.
Colors, which is the golden and black uniform, sometimes their insignia is a rooster.
So they'll show up with their kind of their polos or something saying proud boys on them.
And so what became increasingly clear is that they had been, they were kind of eschewing these large-scale rallies that they've been known for in the years leading up to January 6th and were in the results like sort of building alliances and trying to drum up grassroots ground level support amongst the pitch.
They're trying to get in with the locals so when it's time to charge with the militia, they'll have all their individual armies.
That's what they're going for.
That, you know, told us a lot about their reach and resilience and also attitudes towards the Proud Boys, despite the fact that they have been known for engaging in violence, very well known for engaging in violence, and that, you know, including January 6th.
You know, from engaging in violence.
So she's against violence.
So I assume she's written tomes about the left's unbridled violence.
Like, she's talking about extremism and violence.
Oh, that's why you say guns, because it conjures up an image of a patriot.
If she just said extremism, it would be too easy to ask, what about radical Islam?
No, they use machetes.
From the 19 teens, when Birth of a Nation came out, the recruiting movie for the Klan, and we saw an explosion in Klan membership, until the 1950s, it had become somewhat respectable in white middle America circles to be a member of the Klan.
I mean, it became unrespectable again after the 1960s or disrespectable.
Is that the sort of arc that you think that they're trying to follow?
Let's just stop here.
This guy sucks.
So Proud Boys were rallying a lot in 2021.
They really ramped up the rallies at the election, right?
So that's November, December, January.
Then there was a lull for like, well, it's, let's say three or four months, right?
And then they started seeing them January, February, March, April.
So in the spring, in the summer, you started seeing them go to things, right?
So we're talking about months here.
We haven't even really covered an entire year.
His analogy is, well, the Klan was popular from their inception in the 20s for 40 years till the 60s, and then they died out.
Is that kind of like what's going on with January 6th?
What?
Are you talking about?
Like, the level of idiocy from our detractors is alarming.
They're trying.
I mean, I grew up in Lansing, Michigan.
I mean, and I was born in 1951.
I remember that.
Remember you saw Detroit collapse.
What do you think of Detroit today?
Is that racists?
Politicians in Michigan being identified as Klan members.
Robert Byrd, you know, who was in the United States.
Robert Byrd, yeah, I remember him.
That's the one that Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton saw as their mentor.
Weren't they both at his funeral?
Aren't there tons of pictures of Hillary and Robert Byrd, the Democrat, ex-Klansman, hugging and kissing and paling it up?
Yeah, you're right.
There was a prominent Democrat KKK member.
Had been a grand master, grand wizard of the Klan or something like that.
True.
And then it became unacceptable.
But do you think that they're trying to go through that arc that the Klan went through in the 30s, 40s, 50s of, hey, we're part of a respectable society, we're just the fringe?
Wait, you changed his question at the very end there.
It's a great question.
We launched 114 uniformed appearances in 73 cities in 24 states over the last year.
How do Black Lives Matter?
And in those appearances, we found scant evidence that they encountered very little pushback when they did show up, when they tried to attach themselves to right-wing causes, when they showed up school board meetings or city council meetings or anti-vax rallies, that they seem to be.
Okay, let me explain her mentality here.
So it's just given that the Prowboys are the Klan and they're wearing swastikas and they're Satan personified, so there should be pushback.
If you see them show up at a thing, everyone thinks like Tess Owen that they're looking at Nazis, so there should be pushback.
And if there's not pushback, then they're accepting Nazism.
Is it possible, media pundit, you fucking activist journalist, is it possible that your assessment about the club is wrong?
And there wasn't pushback because people are accepting Nazis.
There wasn't pushback because it's only the five Ps that hate Proud Boys.
The rest of the country loves them.
The politicians, the pundits, the professors, the police's boss.
What's the other one?
And now the president.
The president, pundits, politicians.
They all, all of those elites, which is a shrill minority, they all hate the proud boys.
But when proud boys go out to rallies, everyone is cheering them on.
When I go to any blue-collar bar, people buy me beers.
They're not accepting Nazism.
They're not accepting your ridiculous infantile narrative.
Anyway, let's, I brought this up.
I feel like we're giving these losers too much attention, but I brought this up.
No, bring it back because I want to hear them get to Nazism.
Breaking themselves and actually having some success.
And on top of these kind of uniformed appearances, they are also trying to kind of whitewash their reputation by Doing kind of quote community activism.
So, we also kind of logged some examples where they organize an Easter egg hunt out in a suburb of Chicago, or they helped, you know, they organize toy drives around Christmas.
Yeah, Proud Boys have been doing that since day one.
Yeah, the toy drives, remember the flooding in Texas?
They've been going to help people in doing charity work since day one.
The club is based on the Knights of Columbus, you silly cow.
So it's not whitewashing the image.
It's doing what we've always done.
These people don't understand that they're saying more about themselves when they analyze the club than they are about the club.
The club doesn't change.
It's the background behind them that keeps changing, the perception.
You know, just a range of these kinds of good Samaritan activities.
It couldn't possibly be actual good Samaritans.
That's not possible.
My hypothesis could not be wrong.
Sort of whitewash their reputation a little bit and help them foster those alliances.
Bring it to the bottom of the business.
What is the...
I mean, if you were to ask what is the core belief system of the Ku Klux Klan, I think everybody would simply say, you know, white supremacy.
What is the core...
You know, the Proud Boys have been, you know, they've been seen as brawlers.
They've been seen as biggest.
What's the question, dude?
Am I this bad when I interview people?
Get to the question.
Seen as men who have masculinity insecurity issues.
They've been seen as guys who are into guns.
I mean, it's kind of scattered in terms of public perception or understanding of who they are and what they're all about.
Yeah, that's true.
There is no public understanding from you people anyway.
Is there a single coherent thread that runs through them or have they coalesced around a particular issue?
Let me just answer that.
That's a great question, as usual.
I would say that it's definitely pro-Trump.
When it started out, you had a few Dems in there.
You had the odd liberal.
You know, it came from a comedy show.
But, you know, with Trump and the polarization of America, which I would pin on the left, it is definitely right of center.
But, you know, I think the politics of the club is really normal dad politics.
Socially liberal.
Don't care if you're gay.
Don't care what race you are.
Don't care what you get up to in the privacy of your own bedroom.
Don't care if you smoke drugs or any of that shit.
None of that old school square Republican conservative stuff.
So socially liberal, fiscally conservative, right?
We don't like the government.
We want all free markets.
You'll notice identity politics is not in here.
The only time it comes up is to eschew it and say, no, we don't give a fuck about that.
And just libertarian politics, but with closed borders.
I think the Achilles heel to the libertarian philosophy is that we have open borders.
I don't understand it really.
Why just America?
Are there any borders in the world?
Do you think Thailand is going to agree to this setup?
So is it a global philosophy or just a national philosophy?
Because if it's a national philosophy, you can't have one border, I guess in our case two, that doesn't exist, but everyone else gets one.
What about Canada?
Is that a one-way street?
How does it work?
So that's cut out and it's closed borders.
And obviously with closed borders, we don't mean 100% closed.
We mean legal people coming here to improve the country.
They love the West.
They're compatible with society.
You know, the way it was up until the 80s.
Basically, we want to go back to the 80s.
Does that answer your question?
No, there's no KKK in it whatsoever, I'm afraid.
I like to call them neo-fascist or a neo-fascist street fighting gang is kind of how I tend to refer to them.
And, you know, they do have, they occupy this sort of very uneasy position where they, you know, on one side have built alliances and allies within, you know, quote, legitimate political circles.
And on the other end of the spectrum, they are showing up a rubbing shoulders with Nazis.
Okay, hold on, I think I should sue her for that.
Rubbing shoulders with Nazis.
What time stamp is that?
6.46.
I think we should give that a little lawyer letter.
Because they're going to come back with Jason Kessler or something, who was booted immediately.
And being infiltrated by feds doesn't mean you rub shoulders with feds, does it?
No.
So that's a bizarre allegation.
Neo-fascist.
This woman contacts me and wants an interview and pretends she's going to be fair.
And she characterizes them as neo-fascist.
And they have this sort of plausible deniability where they can say, oh, you know, we have non-white members, so we can't be white supremacists.
And I think this is kind of part of their, this is sort of part of the strategy that makes it a lot of fun.
Okay, this is my favorite stop.
This is a very strange episode because we're deep diving on two innocuous videos and one may be totally out of date by the time you see it.
But it's fun to do occasionally a deep dive.
Oh, let's play the deep dive graphic.
But while you dig that up, I always, whenever they mention the black thing and they go, no, no, no, these black fucking loser human garbage nothings are just tokens they put at the front so people won't know that they secretly hate black people.
I've heard it a million times, right?
Like David Kyricos or Yosef or even Enrique, right?
They're all pawns.
Okay, I got your theory.
Wouldn't you want to talk to one of these loser pawns that just takes it on the chin?
Who are these bizarre masochists that happily join a racist club just to be a symbol?
Do they get paid?
Is that it?
Is there a secret like, thanks for coming, you fucking N?
Here's your five grand.
You'll probably spend it on crack knowing you people.
And he's just like, whatever, man, I got my money.
Is that what it is?
I mean, you've dug yourself a fucking, you've painted yourself into a corner here where you need to come up with an out like that, or else what?
They're just absolute retards that are like, I'm a proud boy.
They're not racist.
And we're like, we totally fooled that black guy.
Look at him.
He's wearing our uniform.
They're all Steve Janowski from Eastbound and Down.
Yeah.
I love you, Prowboy.
Yeah, it's like Zenoa Kinsman, where they go, she's a bed wench.
And I always say, interesting theory.
She's right there.
Why don't you go say it to her face?
Why don't you tell Zenoa that she's a bed wench, stupid bitch slave, that racist John Kinsman just fucks as a joke?
Go tell her that.
Do you know she knows more about country than anybody else I know?
And also, like, urban rap.
And reggae?
Yeah, she knows.
Oh, yeah.
Believe it or not, Zenoa Kinsman is a human being with depth and feelings and her own opinions.
And she's not brainwashed by the evil plantation owner, John Kinsman.
Like, what an imbecile.
They're both embarrassing.
And isn't that funny that the whole crux of this is middle class versus working class?
And you go, oh, it must be the smart, educated people looking down on the dumb people.
No.
Go talk to these proud boys, these plumbers, these tradesmen.
They have way higher IQs than these two.
And she got my joke when I said, let's go to Dick Mondale's instead of McDonald's.
And she laughed.
So she gets pretty awesome humor.
Deep dive.
Where's the deep dive?
I gave you like an deep.
It's an emergency episode.
Deep dive.
Oh, shit.
When we do a deep dive, I should get you a watery background.
On it.
Okay.
Anyway, so neo-fascist.
It makes you sound so smart, too, right?
Like, fascist makes you sound kind of smart.
Not in the context of like a sign, but when you're having a discussion, they go, yeah, well, the problem with a lot of the early fascists is, unlike the neo-fascists, and you're like, ooh, that sounds like neo-Marxism and the Marxist dialectic and intersectionality.
And let's have a hegemony and discourse, a discourse about hegemony.
It all sounds so smart.
But it ain't.
You know, they can say that anyone who's calling them a white nationalist, they're just sort of buying into liberal hype.
Yes.
So I think they're quite optimistic and quite clever in terms of how they brand and promote themselves.
And that is also what makes the same thing.
So now any normal journalist, and this happened with the SPLC, would go, and I'm speaking like I just landed from outer space, right?
I want to hear about these black guys.
Who are they?
Are they paid?
Are they stupid?
Are they brainwashed?
Like, there's a pretty big fly in the ointment here.
You've got a major Achilles heel.
There is a chink in the armor, and it's the Jinx.
What about the Asians?
What about the gays?
What about the Jews?
Are they all duped?
Or do they have their own faculty?
Is that possible?
Whales are dogs.
Did you know that?
Yeah, I don't believe that whole evolution crap.
So God just made a whale?
Yeah.
Okay.
For mankind.
Every animal you see on Earth was created just like that.
What about a chihuahua?
No, there are adaptations and evolutions within.
A whale is an adaptation.
But there's no change in kind.
Yeah, it's still a mammal.
It breathes air.
It can't live underwater without breathing air.
It's true.
It's a dog.
Go ahead.
Would it be a reasonable analogy, or even could it be a template that they are very much like or trying to be very much like the early brown shirts, the brown shirts from 1923 to 1934, I think it was,
when they got absorbed into the military.
That this was a volunteer force that used to go around and basically beat up people.
That's definitely a comparison that's been made, and I think that does definitely hold water.
I mean, there's also been comparisons made to other nationalist militant groups around the world who, again, use community activism to ingratiate themselves with local community and build those levels of support.
Wait, the Brown Church were trying to ingratiate themselves with the community?
Weren't they communists who were beating the shit out of everyone?
Beating the shit out of the Nazis?
Do they do toy drives?
Yeah.
Shouldn't there be a lot of interviews of like, are you used to the Proud Boys?
Where's the blacked out guys?
They used to pay me to walk.
Anyway, we made it to the Brown shirts.
I think what happened there is he goes, oh, we're doing the Proud Boys, okay?
And his research was he Wikipedia the KKK and he wrote down some dates.
And then he Wikipedia the Nazis and he focused on the brown shirts and wrote down some dates.
And he's like, I'm ready to discuss the Proud Boys.
I have the two things they're like.
All right, let's jump to the mailbag.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
I gotta say, I'm not that impressed with the brand new MacBook's battery life.
No, no, no, it's pretty bad.
Yeah?
Yep, mine too.
You know, it lasted for a bit, and then it just got real shitty.
Same for you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, no, it's been shitty out of the gate.
Dude, this new Mac that we got, every now and then it loses connection to the keyboard and does some other really weird shit.
Oh, yeah, it can't play QuickTime videos, which is pretty big.
QuickTime is an Apple product.
Yeah, that's a pretty big deal.
So if you fast-forward through the video, like the audio won't be there, and you have to click it to open it, and sometimes that won't work.
I'm like, this is supposed to have the M1 chip that's grand and spectacular.
Apple slave, and I get nothing but abuse.
I'm such a switch.
And I tried to switch to PC.
I even tried to switch to Android, and I just got so mad that I went back.
It's too late.
I'm a Scientologist for life.
I mean, I love Apple, but you know, they suck.
Retarded or sprinkles?
Asks this man.
Okay.
Okay.
Behind the retarded sprinkles.
Click the button and get me to the video.
Okay.
Why not both?
I said a nigger.
A nigger.
A nigger to the nick.
A nicky, nicky, nick, nigger.
Nigger, nick, nicky.
Nigga to the nick, nick, nigger.
Nicky to nick, nick, the nicky, nick, nigger.
Kick it to the nick, nick, nigger, nicky to nick, nick nigger.
How long do we let that?
It's not exactly witty.
That is terrible, man.
My sergeant, the leftist.
Salutations, butt boys, plus Maddie if he isn't in jail.
My sergeant, soon to be lieutenant, is a far-left radical who I have been in many heated arguments with, and I've also threatened him with violence on a few occasions.
Are you allowed to do that in the military?
I think that's breaking ranks.
Don't you have to drop and give me 20?
And then, and when you're done, he says, on your feet, soldier?
No.
The guy doesn't ever write me up or recommend me for suspension.
He's my whipping post.
He's the type of mentally ill.
He's the type of mentally ill that says the meandering was as worse, if not worse.
Okay, dude.
Let me rewrite your sentence for you.
He's the type of mentally ill that says the meandering was worse, if not the worst.
He thinks it was worse than 9-11.
I even made your sentence worse, actually.
I would say 90% of the police department I work for is center-right.
Thanks for all you do, and I have my $100 ready for next year's sub.
So it's, oh, it's a cop.
He's not in the military.
I got to say, I'm fucking baffled by left-wing cops.
Yeah.
I know one, I know a black cop who, I won't say how we bumped into each other, but I was like, oh, cool, we're doing this together.
Hey, man, I'm a big cop guy.
We should get a beer sometimes.
And you know what he said to me?
He goes, I've probably told you this 100 times, but he goes, yeah, yeah, I don't like cops and I don't like beer.
I don't drink.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
And then I talked to other cops about that guy.
And they said, yeah, some black dudes, they just get hammered so much at Thanksgiving and at home and from all their friends and stuff that they believe it.
And they go, you know what?
You're right.
Fuck these assholes.
Yeah.
Or there are other guys who get, who can't take the riffing and it hurts them.
It has hurt them today.
That's happening a lot.
You'll see it all the time.
I've got a lot of cop friends and they say, you know, in the break room, there's like a community whiteboard.
And it's actually encouraged, Gavin, that officers will go up with the whiteboard and they'll write piggy wiggy wiggy, can't you see, something about bacon and draw pictures.
Thanks, Ezra.
Thanks for checking in.
Okay.
Pedo statue.
What's up, G-Dog and the Dad Fag?
Thought this was funny.
Lefties love to topple a statue, yet complain when it's being done if the guy's a pedo.
And he's spelling it P-A-E-D-O, so this must be a Brit.
Very telling on the comment, where will it all end at the bottom?
Welcome to our side, fuck nuts.
Also, the statue is on the BBC building, a broadcaster with a rich history of covering for pedophiles.
What defines an artist, says the BBC, or says the Guardian.
Their work or their life?
Ever since Eric Grill's crimes have come to light, it's been something to ponder as you walk into the BBC's old broadcasting house, entering the building under his looming prospero and Ariel.
But when I arrived at work on Wednesday afternoon, a ladder, blah, blah, blah.
God.
This is what journalists need to get back to.
The five W's.
Who went, when, where, why?
In the opening paragraph.
I don't need to hear about you meandering into work.
Eric Gill was a monster, a depraved pedophile who abused his daughters and others.
But as a sculptor, he made wondrous creations.
At a time when statues across the country are being reassessed, there will be those who believe that if it's legal to tear down a monument to a prominent slaver, it's also time to do the same to artwork by a man who committed horrific sex crimes.
Who was this guy?
Like a real creep.
Ew.
He's a bad man.
And look, it's him with a little kid.
You had a giant pedophile statue in your front building.
Ha ha.
I say tear them all down.
Fuck you.
Well, there's another.
Yikes.
You drew first blood.
I want all your leftist shit tackled, torn down.
I want you all canceled.
I want you to suffer.
This is when you can't separate the art from the crimes of the person.
Michael Jackson, maybe.
This guy, it's kind of woven.
With the exception of Pretty Young Thing.
All right, we've been going too long.
Let's get to the final vid.
Wait, what's that?
This was a little old, but cozy.tv's Nick Fuent's thing, and then this is what he has to say about it.
What is Cozy TV?
Like, how do you get on Cozy TV?
Well, we're rolling it out.
We're bringing on streamers every week.
So we did three last week, three this week.
We're going to do three next week, the week after that, and so on.
We'll probably bring on a ton of people in December.
This is just the beta test right now.
It's pretty cool so far.
I like it.
Like the way that free speech.
You're correct.
You're correct.
Yeah, it's free speech, no censorship.
We are anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-black, anti-Semitic.
That's basically because everything else is every other way.
But that's the only way that America will be the future.
So that's another Sprinkles or Retarded segment.
Very funny.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
He's just saying, I've done with you.
You've canceled me one too many times.
What's the harm?
But when we went to that America first thing, there was not tons, but there was like four or five black dudes.
They're not actually racist.
They have to get you.
I'm explaining to the folks at home.
Yes.
We have a million lunatics watching us waiting to take something out of context, like Tess Owen.
All right, let's get to the final video.
Okay.
No one cares if you're gay, right?
We established that earlier in the show.
We're socially liberal.
But just be a gay, like Chadwick Moore.
I mean, he has a slight lisp, I guess, but he's just a normal dude, right?
This fucking swishing around stuff, it's tedious.
We don't like it.
It's dumb.
So stop it, please.
And like, look at that.
Just look at that picture.
Do you act like that in a car accident?
Like, what if you had chemo, you're totally bald, and they say, okay, we need you to at least try to walk today.
And you have your little walker thing, and you're like, oh, my God, I still am.
Walking is so hard, you guys.
No, you're going to be like, okay, I think I got it.
Oh, God, this is hard.
I still, I feel like I was throwing up all morning, so my throat is burning.
Don't you mean, my throat is burning like Paris?
So I'm not buying it.
I'm not buying this.
What you're about to see.
He's being proposed to.
That's a black thing, by the way, the walking away.
And he knows there's a camera on him?
We know who the top is and who's the bottom.
Like, what does that walk?
I would be so...
Imagine did that woman do that when you proposed?
You'd be like, actually, no, I changed my mind.
Yeah, that's...
That's like a thousand farts in front of me, basically.
It's so fake, is my point.
Stop.
He's a figure.
Stop that.
Now he has to get up because he's like, I'll stop asking.
This is why dads get mad when their kids are gay.
Not because...
Or their sons come out as gay.
Not because the kid's gay, because they're worried.
Is he going to be like one of those?
Or is he going to be like one of the guy proposing?
When the dad finds out you're this kind of gay, he's like, oh, well, I guess I want to have kids.
Was that annoying or what?
Anyway, we're out of time.
Very weird show.
We looked at two rando Calarisian videos.
But that's life when you're living on the edge.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave.
And never stop fighting.
Now it be defiled.
It's hard if you're gay and watching the track.
Life is so easy for the straight.
Please do all the things we can do.
Please get it.
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