Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Jan. 21, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:13:32

GOML LIVE #132 - QUIET MATTY

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McKinnon.
	Hey guys, sorry about that.
	I did a line and that means I gotta make a proof.
	And when you have a hemorrhoid, you can't just wipe your ass.
	You have to inundate it with the wet toilet paper.
	That's No Sleep Till Brooklyn.
	And the reason we're playing that song is because tonight we're gonna stay awake until the show's over at 11.
	Here we go.
	No matter what, we are staying up for the next two hours.
	We're taking calls.
	We're taking super chats that are going to Max and John.
	Another bet.
	We raised $1,500 last week.
	Let's go for two grand tonight.
	100% of the money goes to Max and John.
	When they get out, they can have some cash, 50% each, $7.50 each we made last week.
	I had this big party planned for those guys when they get out, and Maddie points out that when you get out of prison, you have to go and check in to where your residence is.
	There's no two-day parties.
	You also have to check to see if they have any special conditions like non-association clauses where they can't associate with the Proud Boys.
	It's a big thing that they do.
	This is my new pet peeve.
	And I developed it slowly meeting ex-cons.
	I did the crime.
	I did the time.
	I should be able to vote, own guns, like probation and all this other shit.
	That's not the time.
	I was sentenced to four years.
	I did four years.
	Everything should be as it was.
	Like when my kids are bad, they would get a timeout.
	And after those, whatever it was, they usually did a minute per age.
	So if it was a three-year-old, you do three minutes.
	And then when you've done your timeout, dude, go nuts.
	Go play video games.
	Well, what New York State did and the feds together, I mean, they didn't do it together, but both changed their systems.
	Like, you used to do 65% of your time, which is two-thirds.
	So say if you got six years, you had to do four years, and then you'd come home, and you'd owe two years on parole.
	So a lot of people would get violated and get sent back.
	So for certain crimes, like violent crimes, like the fights that Max and John got in, they changed that law and they said, okay, violent crimes now, and this in the feds, it's every crime.
	You got to do 85% and they're going to abolish parole.
	But basically all they did was just change the name of it.
	They changed it to five years parole.
	No, for a four-year crime.
	Right.
	That's not fair.
	No, they're going to have five years supervised release because they're convicted of a violent crime.
	Yeah.
	So they have to do 85% of it.
	Right, but then after they're out, they have years and years and years of probation.
	Yes, I'm on the same time.
	With you get four years, you get out in three, and we monitor you for a year.
	That's arguable.
	But this is, they're getting out like a pube early.
	They're getting out like, I don't know.
	They get 54 day, it's like 53 or 54 days a year, good time.
	But their probation is meant is, John's is five years.
	They changed it from probation is for non-I mean, you get felony probation, which is five years, but that's when you don't go to prison.
	When you go, say, split bid, like a one and a half to three for like a non-violent crime, you're on parole for up to three years.
	So.
	Parole or probation?
	Parole.
	Parole.
	Right.
	Now, when they have violent crimes and other crimes that you're convicted of that are deemed, you have to do 85%.
	Now when you get released, you're on supervised released, not parole.
	Same shit, just different name.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	And they make you do 85% of the time instead of 20%.
	You know why they abuse those prisoners?
	Because they can.
	You give someone power and they're like, I'm going to make them do a little fucking dance.
	Oh, also, last week, I told a guy I worked in cadre in downstate, which was incorrect.
	I worked cadre in MDC Brooklyn and MCC Manhattan.
	My state time, I was sentenced to only a short bid, which is one year.
	So by the time I got finished with court and everything, went up top to reception, I only had maybe three months or four months left.
	And I did the remainder of my time there.
	Cut the shit, Matty.
	You got to get it.
	I just had to correct that.
	You got caught stolen Unvalor, pretending you went to prison.
	And he blew up the price.
	Never mind that.
	By the way, great research out there, baby monsters.
	Thanks for catching him bullshitting.
	Last point on the prison stuff.
	When we were at our local recently, you were speaking to two BIPOCs, black Indigenous people of color.
	Okay.
	And I didn't understand you, gentlemen.
	You seem to be saying, fuck this probation.
	I'd rather just do my whole sentence.
	Yeah.
	What were you talking about?
	I didn't understand you.
	Like, probation, it's like we're not going to send you.
	Sort of Damocles hanging over your head.
	Yeah, so that's basically what it is.
	It's time over your head.
	And I'm not one to tote a line.
	And, you know, give me enough rope and I'm going to hang myself 10 times over.
	If you're going to tell me I have to be in the house at 7, 8, 8, 9 o'clock at night, I'm going to go out.
	So that's what you guys were saying is I'm going to violate all my things.
	He said his PO kept coming to his house, and then she tried to say that he moved without permission.
	And I was like, dude, just fuck it, just go back in and fucking do the rest of your time.
	Like, like when I did that with my federal parole, I said on my second violation.
	Usually, when you get your second violation of incarceration, they deem you unsupervisable and they just terminate it.
	So you were what they call a full-term release.
	You got to do all your time.
	So when I came home, I did two years on supervised release for the feds, and they violated me on my last day.
	So I did, and time on the street in the feds doesn't count.
	So I had to go do a 10-month hit and then start over two years supervised release again.
	So when I came home, I said, listen, you might as well put the paperwork in now because I'm not going to report.
	I'm not going to do drug tests.
	I'm not going to do any programs.
	And he's like, what are you talking about?
	I said, I'm not giving you the power to keep me on the street for another two years and do the same fucking thing.
	The Feds were saying.
	Yeah.
	Because they were saying the same thing.
	And he was like, no, I'd like to see.
	I go, you don't want to see me do anything.
	I said, fuck off.
	Put the paperwork in.
	Tell me when I got to come in for the fucking, in front of the magistrate.
	Fuck that.
	Power.
	I don't want power.
	Because it's easier for me to be in prison and deal with being there because I'm there.
	There's not much I can do about it.
	You know, I just, you know, I'm not a victim there, so I just navigate the environment and do what I do.
	On the street, like I said, I'm going to go out and run a buck.
	This goes back to right versus left, because you know these parole officers and the bureaucrats that come up with these rules, they're all lefties, basically.
	Oh, yeah.
	And the prisoners, I guess they're not really on the political spectrum.
	Recidivism is a job.
	It's job security.
	No, it's the left wants, like I always say, politics is people who want to be left alone and people won't leave them the fuck alone.
	I don't want to tell you what to do.
	Like, I don't have time.
	I want to tell my wife what to do.
	I want to tell, and even that, not so much.
	I definitely want to tell my kids what to do and make sure that they, you know, get the most out of life.
	Outside of that, I don't want to get involved in your life.
	What is this compulsion to want to go out and get involved in people's lives?
	It's a strange trait.
	I don't quite get it.
	I mean, my first instinct is you had a shitty high school life and you want revenge.
	And now you want to have power over people.
	So you're like, oh, who's getting wedgied now, bitch?
	Now you're getting wedgied.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	All right, let's start the show here.
	First sponsor, Tactical Walls.
	Right?
	Yes.
	Yes.
	We've got Tactical Walls in our office.
	We can't put cool guns on them.
	This is a vet-owned, American-run company manufactured in America.
	A young, tenacious dude works at a plastic shop.
	He starts seeing what this 3D printer machine can do.
	He starts making his own molds.
	The guy says, you know what?
	Start your own business.
	Not, you are going to be my competition.
	I don't want you using our equipment.
	It was, wait, what are you doing?
	He goes, why don't you use this 3D machine after hours?
	And then you can start your own business.
	So this dude, Tactical Tim's old boss, helped him build Tactical Walls, which is essentially competition.
	But he didn't care.
	He just liked the idea of Tim making money.
	And Tim is making money.
	He's employing dozens of people and he's building these incredible mod walls that don't just show guns, have shit in your Jeep, hide your guns behind a mirror, all kinds of fantastic inventions at tacticalwalls.com.
	And if you use promo code Gavin15, you get how much off?
	20%.
	One would think Gavin 20 might be a better code, Tim, but Tim is a very unusual cat.
	I think he might be bipolar, but with just the manic episodes and nothing else.
	Fantastic dude, fantastic company, and brave enough to support this show and risk cancellation and boycotts.
	So the great thing about this show is when I tell you about a sponsor, they're not randomly pulled off a shelf.
	This is not fucking a Netflix ad.
	These are people who are totally aware of what they're getting into and still supporting free speech, supporting this show, and supporting your right to watch this show.
	Top locking shelf.
	Look at that.
	Looks like a totally normal shelf.
	You could hide a fucking Mossberg in there.
	Secondly, another item I didn't get to the other day was we played The Beastie Boys.
	We were talking about the Beastie Boys and Egg Raid on Mojo.
	The reason I played that was to talk about I finally saw a good doc.
	And it's called The Individualist.
	Sorry, Salad Days, the DC hardcore doc.
	Sorry, Godfather of Hardcore, the Agnostic Front doc.
	You suck.
	You're just a pile of words.
	And I've been spoiled by Amanda Milius, who did a great interview with Tucker, by the way, on Fox Nation.
	And now I want a documentary to be a movie.
	I want three acts.
	I want you to wow me in the third act.
	I want a big arc.
	I want all kinds of generalizations I can gauge from it.
	Don't just barf chronological facts out.
	And they don't do that in this Ricky Powell doc.
	So Ricky Powell, he was the guy.
	Homeboy, throw in the towel.
	Your girl got fucked by Ricky Powell.
	While they were party dudes, licensed to ill guys, I think Ricky was like not just their photographer.
	I got the vibe.
	He liked supply drugs and stuff, but he was a big part of the party.
	And then MCA became the Tibetan monk dude.
	And just like the Beastie Boys did with the fat chick, Kate, at the beginning, they were just like, get out of here, Ricky.
	You're tacky.
	We're done our party phase.
	Now we're like feminist.
	We're woke.
	And you don't want Ricky Powell around when you're woke.
	You might make a racist joke.
	And so they just turfed him.
	Now, there's kind of an element here that he never recovered from getting kicked to the curb by the Beastie Boys.
	Maybe, but I'm a genetics guy.
	I'm a nature over nurture.
	And I think his mom was a mentally ill hoarder and a loner.
	And he just took on those traits.
	One of my favorite lines in this movie is he goes, I think I was supposed to be an abortion or something, but, you know, my mom manned up and she had me manned up.
	Like a real man, she had a baby.
	But turn it up, it's great.
	I highly recommend it.
	And then I was watching it going, I knew him tangentially.
	I didn't know him well.
	I'd met him like a few times, and I thought, like, you're watching the movie, and you're like, fucking dude, you have so many incredible negatives.
	Let's empty your apartment, put it in a giant truck, drive to Jersey, rent a warehouse, and lay it all out.
	And then, you know, document it all, put them on file.
	Like, how much is a picture of LL Guljay worth if it's from 1982?
	Like, you have a gold mine in your shitty, disgusting West 4th apartment.
	Let's spread it all out.
	And then I thought, I should have done that.
	And then I remembered, not only did I not know him, but he was a fucking dick who told me to fuck off and wanted to kick my ass.
	So a lot of people thought of helping him, and he told them to fuck off because he was addicted to crack, and crack makes you an asshole.
	Which is another great part of the documentary.
	Regular Joe in the neighborhood.
	Like, I'm a bummy ass motherfucker, but my photography happens to be high flu.
	Legendary Ricky Powell, right?
	The unfiltered camera, unfiltered mouth.
	Whatever comes through that point and click is that straight New York shit.
	The downtown scene, the uptown scene.
	It was part of what was going on.
	Ricky made us look like hip-hop of gods.
	There's the dark side that comes with true greatness and madness.
	It all goes hand in hand.
	This is who Mike Rappaport thinks he is.
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah.
	I was this one guy around all these people doing incredible things.
	He's crazy as a fuck, but he's a genius.
	Anyway, I highly recommend it.
	So we're going to devote all these Thursday shows to letters and calls and super chats and all that.
	But there are things that, can't wait.
	I'm going to Orlando tomorrow to visit my folks.
	So tomorrow's a pre-tape.
	Monday's a pre-tape.
	And there's things that I don't want to miss.
	I think my favorite story is this Gorsuk shit where Supreme Court Justice, what's his name?
	Anthony?
	What's his fucking full name?
	Someone Gorsuk said, I'm not wearing a mask, you fat spic cunt.
	Sonia sort of mayor.
	She started crying and said, but I'll die if you don't wear a mask.
	And he goes, good, I want you to die, whore.
	And, oh, there's a HR doc coming out.
	We'll see that in a second.
	Sorry.
	And that became the thing.
	And you go, okay, well, that's unfortunate.
	They can't get along.
	Then you look it up.
	None of this is true.
	None of it is true.
	Gorsak would be happy to wear a mask.
	Sonia Sotomayor never said, don't wear, I can't come to work if you don't wear a mask.
	All fucking lies.
	And I'm trying to find you this montage.
	I didn't really prep for the show.
	Of NPR and all these Joy Reid, all these women going, fuck him.
	He's going to get us all killed.
	He's ruining the Supreme Court, this son of a bitch.
	And it's all fucking lies.
	Pull up the story while I find this, Rye Guy.
	No, that's not it.
	You will still have to wear a mask while on a commercial airline flight.
	Today, the U.S. Supreme Court rejected a request to block the mandate, letting a lower court ruling stand.
	Fox News chief legal correspondent, anchor of Fox News at night, Shannon Bream, is here with details.
	Good evening, Shannon.
	You, Shannon.
	Good evening, Brad.
	Well, a couple of plaintiffs in that case, including a father who travels on a regular basis.
	Unrelated?
	Yeah, that's a new pet peeve of mine.
	They'll have an article and the video won't be related.
	We're not doing a very good job of entertaining people.
	Ryan, Maddie, while I find this, you were just in Florida yourself.
	Yes, I was.
	You're looking like Wayne Newton.
	You're so tanned.
	How was it?
	I was tan that much, but it was great.
	Good time.
	What was the weather like?
	I think one day it was like 65, but that was about it.
	It was like Tuesday or something like that.
	Whatever, you know, 79, 80.
	Feels like temperatures 82, 85.
	40, 45, 40, 40.
	40, 45, 45.
	But yeah, it was a good time.
	And what was the vibe?
	I mean, they don't care about COVID, right?
	Do you see a lot of masks?
	Only tourists.
	Did anyone tell you to put on a mask the entire time you were there?
	Nope.
	Only in the airport.
	Huh.
	Was it a guy or a girl?
	Female.
	Oh.
	It was a guy I was going to throw this up.
	No, no, it was a TSA agent.
	You ever thought of that?
	Like, I had it, like, below, and I was like, she was like, oh, you got to pull it over your nose.
	All right, whatever.
	And that's just on your way out.
	Also in the news, you heard about Roosevelt getting taken down.
	Now, I'm at a point now where I like this lefty news.
	Because if I was going to do a piece of performance art, I would destroy the statue of Roosevelt in front of the history of natural science.
	Is that what it is called?
	Because we don't deserve him anymore.
	This is a picture of him marching with Indians.
	They're not his slaves.
	They're his peers.
	It's a $2 million statue.
	They're moving it to South Dakota.
	And first they covered it in plywood for a few months, so we'd forget about it.
	Gavin Wax was down there protesting the removal.
	Then it's out of sight, out of mind.
	And then in the middle of the night last night, they take it away.
	Good.
	We don't deserve...
	This is a great, this middle of the night removal of Roosevelt is a great example of the destruction of America and American history and American grit and hubris.
	That's what he represented.
	He represented, he went on a fucking camping trip before he was president and someone stole his boat.
	So they caught the guy, him and his friend, caught the guy who had stole his boat.
	How the fuck do you do that?
	You run along the shore.
	And so they made a citizen's arrest.
	And it took three days to get back to civilization.
	So, for three days, they had him tied up with ropes and they fed him and stuff, and they brought him back to civilization where he was charged for stealing the boat.
	Because that's the right thing to do when someone steals your boat.
	That was fucking Theodore Roosevelt.
	We don't deserve that anymore.
	That America is dead.
	So, I'm glad you removed the statue.
	You did a good job.
	You showed everyone exactly what we've been saying.
	Okay, I finally found it.
	And it's just like the little girl statue.
	Remember that one?
	That's a better example of them doing our art for us.
	It's a fucking bull in Wall Street, which is about eight feet high, a monstrous bull that would kill all of us in a second.
	And then they make a statue of a chick going, I'll fucking kick your ass, bitch.
	And I'm looking at it going, good, great, exactly.
	That's modern feminism.
	I will stand in front of a bull because I can kick a bull's ass.
	No, you can't, young lady.
	You're in danger.
	Your bullshit narrative is putting not just women in danger, but children in danger.
	So I love this statue because it shows the dangerous naivete of the left.
	And I'm glad they removed Roosevelt in the middle of the night.
	It's performance art.
	You did conservative performance art.
	Thank you.
	And that bull is on Wall Street and it represents like a bull market.
	Right.
	Like, what does that have to do with that?
	That's also great.
	So it's them not understanding what the bull is about.
	Like, it's perfect.
	It's amazing conservative art.
	The left has become so shitty at their job that everything they do explains why we think they're shitty at their job.
	Look at her.
	Imagine it was made by animal rights activists to defend the running of the bulls where they stab them and shit.
	I don't get bullish markets.
	I don't know what that statue's for.
	This is all the things it's saying.
	I think I can take on a bull.
	I put children in danger.
	I put women in danger.
	It's saying like five things I believe.
	Fantastic.
	We don't deserve Roosevelt.
	We want to tear apart history.
	We want to remove Indians from the...
	By the way, these two things are like right down the street from each other.
	We want to remove Indians from American history in the name of protecting them.
	Like, perfect, great.
	You did it.
	But did you get my super cut?
	That's the thing I was looking for.
	I finally found it.
	I always email myself stories.
	So sometimes when I'm emailing you shit, I just instinctively email myself.
	And then I find all these emails I sent to you that are sent to me.
	Here we go.
	Okay, so keep in mind, none of this is remotely true.
	It's not like, like I saw a lot of liberals saying, no, no, what happened was it was Chief Roberts that told Gorsik to put on a mask.
	Sonia Sotomayor had Chief Roberts tell her to do it.
	They just got the guy wrong.
	No, that's not true either.
	None of it is remotely true.
	No, Sonia Sotomayor never told anyone to put on a mask.
	And Gorsuch has no problem wearing a mask at any time.
	Tragically, anti-mask insanity has now reached the highest report in the land.
	Neil Gorsuch is prioritizing his right to be a tool over protecting Sonia Sotomayor's life.
	Gorsuch loves COVID, which makes him the perfect, blah, perfect Republican.
	He thinks very little of coronavirus precautions.
	Gorsuch has the nerve to refuse to wear a mask indoors while seated next to his colleague who's vulnerable to possible from a highly communicable disease.
	Where's the collegiality?
	Where's the common sense?
	That just seems ridiculous.
	Can you put a mask on?
	Do you like it?
	Stop, stop.
	That just seems ridiculous.
	How many times have you heard liberals say shit like that?
	Like with black Prowboys?
	I don't get it.
	Why are they joining a white nationalist group?
	Yeah, you're right.
	It is confusing.
	Maybe you're wrong.
	That's usually a good thing.
	Hey, I heard Maddie Odell was dying to fuck Ryan, and he's been flirting with him.
	Oh, yeah.
	That doesn't sound true to me.
	That goes against everything I know about those two gentlemen.
	I'm going to be a little skeptical, and I'm going to ask them and look into it before I go, can you believe that shit?
	They're fags.
	Who was the first one who broke the story?
	NPR.
	NPR was the first one.
	From an anonymous source.
	And then MSN, everybody else.
	Everyone's good.
	Like once they get, as long as they're not going to get fired, they could just say, well, I got it from NPR.
	So once they get a morsel, they just fucking run with it.
	Look at all this shit when they think something might be racist.
	Like the synagogue guy, everyone was running with it's a Nazi.
	How many times have you seen a shooting or a kidnapping or a hostage situation where they just go, more racism, here's proof?
	And then they find out who it is.
	It's often a Muslim and they go, ah, fuck.
	All right.
	Well, it's just mental illness.
	Don't worry about it.
	But go back to this montage because it's barely begun.
	Place is this.
	It's that hard.
	Justice Gorsuch had to know that this would become a public controversy.
	And so I think he did this.
	This is an unusual opportunity.
	What's up with Justice Gorsuch?
	If all of the other, including all of the other conservative members of the court, are willing to go along with this, why not him?
	Every other justice is masking up, even Clarence Thomas, who doesn't seem to care about anybody.
	Just stop.
	It's like you heard that wet paper towels are highly flammable.
	And you're like, wet with gas?
	No water.
	That doesn't sound right.
	And then you do a series of news shows going, this is crazy, but wet paper towels are flammable.
	No, they're not.
	That's why it sounds crazy.
	Because it's not true.
	You fucking activists.
	You're not journalists.
	Not Gorsuch.
	He could not be bothered to extend a life-saving courtesy to his coworker.
	It not only displays a lack of basic civility as a coworker, but a lack of humanity.
	While Gorsuch's behavior here is pretty disgraceful, I guess it shouldn't be that surprising.
	A prickly justice, not exactly beloved, even by his conservative soulmates on the court.
	Confirmation of a good headline, though.
	Objection, your dishonor.
	Yeah.
	What we all already knew.
	Whatever you think about Mass, Gorsuch, who sits next to Sodomayor at work, just decided to be a dick to a colleague.
	Neil Gorschitz.
	What publication was that?
	That's Young Turks.
	Oh, okay.
	Addict to a colleague.
	Neil Gorschitz, Shame on you.
	Shame on you.
	Yeah.
	That so many conservatives in public life who claim to be such pious Christians and obsess over morals and decency are actually awful, awful people.
	My first reaction was to think what a mean-spirited, almost ghoulish person Neil Gorsuch is.
	Gorsuch's ghoulish, obnoxious behavior here.
	Colour me shocked.
	Neil Gorsuch is an asshole who thinks he should get to control others' bodies, but no one should get to control his.
	Perhaps it should be Gorsuch participating remotely.
	You, Neil Gorsuch, are both a rotten co-worker and a race.
	And dangerous to be near in a pandemic and tonight's absolute worst.
	Donkey of the day.
	She is the absolute worst.
	And then the other news item that I wanted to get to was Matt Walsh was on Dr. Phil with, I don't know what the fuck he was on with.
	I guess it was one woman who had been taking male hormones and she has a weird beard and then a dude who was taking these people have become a human riddle.
	Have you noticed that?
	And you have to try to figure out what they actually are.
	So I'm sending you one now, Ryan.
	This is not, usually we just answer calls on these shows, but I just, I got to get these news items out.
	I know it makes for a slow show, and I'm sorry.
	I'm sorry.
	Roosevelt.
	What are you showing us?
	Matt Walsh stumps.
	You know, they've never, you could tell, too, when you watch these weird creatures, no one's ever criticized them or contradicted them before.
	Is Dr. Phil red-pilled?
	Kind of.
	He was on Rogan.
	Really?
	Yeah, and you know what's funny too?
	The other person that Oprah kind of led into the world, Dr. Oz, two doctors, both based.
	Well, I don't know if he's based, but he's running as a Republican.
	You think Oprah might be based?
	No.
	Okay, she was raped.
	Rapees tend to be a little too wary of the left.
	To throw out to other members of the panel, actually, because just like the four-year-old can't answer what is a girl, well, this is one of the problems with this left-wing gender ideology, is that no one who espouses it can even tell you what these words mean.
	It's like, what is a woman?
	Can you tell me what a woman is?
	No, I can't.
	Because it's not for me to say.
	Womanhood looks different for everybody.
	So that's a chick.
	The first one was a chick who took enough testosterone to grow a weird pube beard.
	And then I think I saw other pictures of this guy.
	I think he has a dick.
	So that's just a dude with long hair.
	That's just a guy in a rock band in 1971.
	Oh, I got the pictures, your tweets.
	Yeah.
	Oh, boy.
	So look at the first picture.
	That's a cock, right?
	NSFE.
	Not safe for anyone or everyone.
	You spelled anyone with an E. Nightmash.
	Whatever.
	It's not my acronym.
	It's got Nightmash.
	Wow.
	Who fucks that, by the way?
	What do you do?
	You're like into chicks, but you also like beards, but you also like sucking dicks?
	I don't get the market there.
	I like dudes and I like blowing them, but I hate how they're never wearing a bikini.
	So that's a dude, right?
	There are some tits there, though.
	So did you take estrogen to get the tits?
	And if so, didn't that hurt your beard?
	Human riddles!
	Let the riddles roam!
	Non-binary, trans-Israel.
	Irish bar owner I know, his dad was saying, maybe we should shut down Defolkenpub.
	This is in Ireland.
	And his son says, absolutely not, dad.
	Let's let the riddles roam and the feared stay at home.
	The riddles are just like the joking around.
	Anyway, go ahead, Matt.
	Sorry.
	Other members of the panel?
	Actually, because just like the four-year-old can't answer what is a girl, well, this is one of the problems with this left-wing gender ideology is that no one who espouses it can even tell you what these words mean.
	It's like, what is a woman?
	Can you tell me what a woman is?
	No, I can't.
	No, I can't.
	Because it's not for me to say.
	Womanhood looks different for everybody.
	What do you define a woman as?
	An adult human female.
	And what does a female mean?
	How do you define a female?
	Someone with female reproductive organs.
	Okay.
	Someone who's, you know, here's the thing.
	When you're a female, it goes right down to your bones, your DNA.
	So that's why if someone dies, we could dig up their bones 100 years from now.
	We have no idea what they believed in their head, but we can tell what sex they were because it's ingrained in every fiber of their being.
	Interesting.
	So I'm trying to understand.
	Your definition is that a woman is someone who is female, you said, right?
	Correct.
	There's a biological female.
	So what happens if we have maybe someone who is female, identifies as a woman, right?
	You know, cisgender woman, right?
	As you explained, as you just explained, maybe doesn't have the ability to reproduce.
	Maybe doesn't have those organs that you're talking about for reproductive organs.
	Reproductive organs were just one thing, he said.
	He got into the bones, the DNA, head shape.
	That's why he left the reproductive organs and said, there's a myriad of ways to identify a woman, including when she's been dead for 100 years.
	The reproductive organs was one thing.
	And I've seen these people latch on to that.
	And they go, what if a woman can't reproduce?
	She had ovarian cancer, whatever.
	Yes, that's very, very unfortunate, but the stuff was still there.
	It just broke.
	If a car is in a horrible accident and the front of it is mashed from rear-ending someone, it's still a car.
	It just had a horrible fucking accident.
	A bicycle is not a car.
	You're not the same as a broken car.
	You're an invented car.
	Z is beautiful.
	Z is.
	Back to Matt.
	I have answered the question.
	You stood up here and said trans women are women.
	Yes.
	Tell me what you mean.
	What is a woman?
	Womanhood is something that, just as Ethan explained, I cannot define because I am not myself.
	You used the word.
	So, what did you mean when you said trans women are women if you don't know what it means?
	So here's the thing.
	So I do not define what a woman is because I do not identify as a woman.
	Womanhood is something that I can do.
	I can tell you what a golf bag is.
	I can tell you what a soccer ball is.
	This is just fucking.
	I know what a tank is.
	I actually know what a lot of stuff is.
	Pathetic.
	I know what a table is.
	I'm a cis transgender woman.
	But what is a woman?
	I can't tell you.
	I can't because I'm not one.
	So why do you use the term delay?
	I can tell you what a black person is.
	I'm not one.
	It's mental illness.
	But it's also this constant indulgence where no one's ever called them on their shit.
	So when someone does, these people, those two have been complaining on social media that they've been having nightmares ever since Matt accosted them.
	Yeah, it seems to define a woman.
	Nightmares.
	It includes people who...
	That describes what?
	People who identify as a woman.
	Identify as what?
	As a woman.
	What is that?
	What's to each their own?
	Each woman, each man, each person is going to have a different relation with their own gender identity and define it differently.
	So trans women are women.
	Okay, I define it as you're not one.
	Is that okay?
	I define it different.
	You look like you're in Leonard Skynyrd.
	Okay.
	And you want to, trans women?
	Listen, tell me what you're doing.
	You want to reduce genes, though.
	You want to reduce women.
	You want to reduce men down to maybe just their genetics, our genitals, our chromosomes, right?
	That's what we're doing.
	That's exactly what I want to do.
	What you want to do is appropriate women.
	You want to appropriate womanhood and turn it into basically a costume that could be worn.
	Nailed it.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	I guess we're going behind the paywall where we already did.
	Sure.
	What have you been doing?
	Just cutting the show at 30 minutes?
	Cutting them short.
	Like a fucking barbarian.
	Bow.
	Like Gerard Butler in 300, like a Spartan.
	You get what you pay for.
	You're mean.
	Yeah.
	God damn it, you're mean.
	I'm so philanthropic, I make Robert Preston look like Lee Majors.
	All right, babe.
	Dennis Miller's on the show.
	Yep.
	Before we leave, though, we should mention, we actually have to, Ryan, you can't cut them off before we mention the sponsors.
	I think I do make sure all the reads are done.
	So if I see some read stuff.
	So what's the second read now?
	It's beard vet, right?
	Did you print it out?
	I did.
	Put it on your desk.
	I lost it, but I'll have it on my McPewy.
	God, I went through the letters before the show.
	The quality is just shocking.
	I had to do a hierarchy of quality, and purple flags are must-reads, and then red flags are just very, very good.
	And maybe 5% of them are boring.
	Anyway, Beard Vet, veteran-owned.
	Stay warm, caffeinated, and looking great with Beard Vet.
	Beard Vet has fantastic beard grooming products and coffee.
	Check out the Oktoberfest sale El Diablo Coffee Blend.
	We've had that here at the studio.
	It is a wild ride.
	If you want to get shit done, you need the El Diablo Coffee Blend.
	Holy shit, we cleared out the entire storage room and we did it.
	Now it looks like it's in a catalog on storage rooms.
	It was so unkempt it made Bartholomew de la Casas look like Willie Mays.
	All right, babe.
	Free shipping on all orders when you go to www.beardvet.com.
	If that's not enough, when you use promo code Gavin, you get an additional 15% off.
	So remember with Tactical Walls, use promo code Gavin15, you get 20% off.
	With this, with BeardVet, use promo code Gavin, you get 20% off.
	I'm sorry, 15% off.
	So there's no logic to this.
	There's no rhyme or reason to what we come up with here.
	Check out Beard Vet.
	Tell them I sent you.
	Sean, the owner of Beard Vet, is one of us.
	He's a good egg.
	We like him more than a friend.
	Like most of our sponsors, Beard Vet is a veteran-owned and operated country.
	So both sponsors tonight are vets.
	They make their shit in America.
	They are American-owned, American-run, and they're both brave enough to enlist at a job where you could die for the flag at any moment.
	You never know.
	Beard Vet stands for the national anthem.
	Beard Vet kneels to the cross.
	And Beard Vet's charitable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.
	We support them and they support us.
	Once again, www.beardvet.com, promo code Gavin, for 15% off all orders.
	And he also added Christmas giveaways, which I'm not sure he meant to do.
	Seems a little late or early to be discussing Christmas giveaways.
	All right, let's start taking calls and letters and super chats.
	So the super chats, I'll try to get to them, but they're going to appear here.
	And pay some money to Max and John.
	We'll put up your message there.
	If you have a question, I'll try to answer it.
	And I'm going to get into this letters page, which has just been...
	I mean, like, Steven Crowder employs about 10 people to go through various news items and ask them for shit.
	We have baby monsters.
	And they're amazing.
	So I'm just going to go through some of the, what I've purple flagged here, Ryan.
	I don't know if you'll be able to catch up because you're not very...
	Somebody's phone off?
	By any chance?
	My mic, I think, was on and now it's off.
	Nobody's phone's going off?
	No one's phone's going off?
	Yeah.
	I'm getting a buzzing.
	Nope.
	Okay.
	Interesting, interesting.
	This is from a guy named Randy.
	It's a question for Ryan.
	Okay.
	Maddie and I are not invited to this question.
	And the question is: Ching Chang.
	Ching Chong, Ching Ching Chong.
	Chong Chong, Ching Chingy Chong.
	Ching Chang Chong Ching.
	Okay.
	Well, first, first and foremost.
	Yang.
	Zing Ping Ling Lao.
	Wait, why would you answer a Mandarin question in Thai?
	It's a little fun trick that we do.
	It's a Mandarin trick.
	This is from a guy named Adam.
	I think I could say your first names, right?
	You're going to get fired.
	They're going to track you down.
	Hey, Gavin, do you have anything you usually do to tease your missus?
	This dude has found an effective way.
	What do I do to tease my wife?
	I usually just talk about how much she wants to fuck me and stuff.
	But he's got a link.
	This is called Woman Can't Help Wretching.
	And I watched this and it received a purple flag.
	And while you're finding that, I'll start the next one, Ryan.
	All right.
	Gutentag, Gavin und Ryan.
	I'm a long-term sob and baby monster from Germany.
	Believe it or not, you're the only form of entertainment I watch these days.
	There used to be some kind of similar German YouTube channels, but they all got purged and most of them weren't smart enough to start their own network.
	By the way, speaking of compliments, I was thinking today about ball busting at the gym where I have this parka, this Ralph Lorenz parker, and twice now, guys have said at the gym, they've been like, hey, man, cool jacket.
	My girlfriend has one just like that.
	And I'm like, yeah, your girlfriend couldn't afford some like this.
	Fuck you.
	And then I walk out and when someone busts your balls and you bust their balls back, there's that haha moment.
	And then like an hour later, you'll catch yourself looking in the reflection of like a store going, this is not a fucking chick jacket.
	Fuck you.
	Or they're like, nice nose, bitch.
	You have like a woman's, you look like Barbie Benton.
	Yeah?
	Well, at least my nose isn't a crumpled up fucking pugilist nose.
	It looks like someone shat it out and stuck it on your face.
	And then like the next morning, you're brushing your teeth going, bitch nose.
	Oh, I know what it is.
	I'm sorry.
	Hey, Maddie.
	Yep.
	You got to take that mic off the clip.
	Yeah, okay.
	It's interfering with the mic?
	That's what it was.
	Yep.
	So people have been getting shitty audio this whole show?
	No, no, no, no.
	I just turned it on.
	Okay.
	And I had to just keep turning off the mic.
	You bring me 8 to 10 hours of joy every week.
	Now I'm turning into Arlen Schwarzenegger.
	Anyway, we were talking about people in the Midwest, in the South, Texas, who speak German still.
	And I said, I don't speak German, so I can't tell what they sound like.
	I wish there was a German baby monster out there that could tell me.
	So he did.
	Nice.
	He's broken it down into three groups.
	One, they sound 100% like us today.
	They talk like normal old people from parts that don't have a strong dialect.
	We obviously don't say accent.
	That's what fucking foreign people have.
	Like Hamburger or Hanover.
	So they've just perfectly preserved the German accent.
	Number two, they forgot the language.
	It reminded me a little bit about this Australian translator of Aborigines.
	It was bullshit German from a person that barely speaks it anymore.
	Grammar was false and everything was weird.
	They basically oversold some old lady with dementia that forgot her language was from Bavaria where her dialect was loosely based on.
	I noticed that too with New Orleans where I was like, yeah, I'm French.
	And oh yeah, my cousin speaks French.
	And I scoured, my girlfriend used to live there.
	I scoured that fucking town because I speak French, trying to find someone who speaks French.
	It's all a lie.
	There are no French speakers in New Orleans.
	There are people who pervert their slang with a few French sayings, but the idea of people speaking entire paragraphs in French in New Orleans is fucking bullshit.
	And it sounds like this is what this guy discovered in parts of Texas.
	Three, there's a third group of German speakers in America, people born and raised here who speak German on a regular basis, not immigrants.
	Maybe the most interesting ones were talking like regular Germans when they would try to fake a Texas dialect.
	Maybe this is actually legit, the grammar was correct, and a couple of people were talking that way.
	So the third category he was saying sounded like a German trying to do a Texas accent, but still speaking German.
	Which makes sense.
	The Texas English, the twang there is melded with German.
	Fascinating letter.
	Did you find the fucking...
	I've got the retching.
	Okay.
	This looks like a lot of fun.
	She's hot as shit, dude.
	How's work?
	I love your outfit.
	Great outfit.
	I hope you don't puke on it when I make this sound.
	That's right.
	Dad?
	Got the.
	Why are you doing this?
	Why is it so funny when your friends and loved ones wretch?
	Shut up.
	Lauren.
	Hi, you look beautiful.
	He's a nine.
	Lovely.
	I hope you don't throw off on your dress when I go like this.
	Shout out.
	I can't believe it.
	There's people in my dress.
	You look great in your dress again.
	Part two.
	But look at the sunset.
	We should get something.
	There's people.
	Don't get it.
	I hope people are.
	There's people on your dress.
	Don't get mad.
	Laura.
	No.
	He knows it's coming.
	I'm taking pictures.
	Laura.
	What happens when I do this?
	No.
	I'm not.
	He stopped.
	Laura.
	No.
	Just wait.
	What happened when I make this huge?
	No.
	No.
	No.
	You getting it?
	Trying to make me wretch.
	Hey, Lord.
	All right, that's enough.
	That reminds me, that used to be a fun thing we would do when people were wasted and puking.
	We tried to make them puke again.
	You know, when they were sort of at the edge of the party by the bushes, and they're like, oh.
	And they finally got it together.
	There's this guy, Jesse Pearson, and he had just been retching.
	I think he was doing heroin at the time.
	By the way, new shirts coming out.
	We got no hypes, no pipes, which I think is really funny to be Gen X and like have a family and be wearing a shirt that says, I don't do heroin or crack.
	No way, Jose.
	No hypes, no pipes.
	I don't break for queefs is coming out soon.
	And the beauty of it, my wife pointed this out, I didn't realize this, it looks from afar like I don't break for queers.
	And it's a monster truck.
	So it's like I run over queers, which is awesome because someone will go, hey, man, your shirt's fucking, I don't appreciate that.
	My brother's gay.
	And you go, no, no, queefs.
	If I'm having sex, and Eric goes, I don't care.
	I don't want to talk about it.
	I just keep on rolling.
	That's it.
	Don't make that into a Z-Kyle.
	And then, oh yeah, G-O-M-L Lawn Care.
	And it's Ryan on the front mowing a lawn, and then the back, it's flush and orange, and it looks exactly like a lawn care thing.
	And then as I was talking to the artist, I was like, please make the drawing of Ryan as racist as humanly possible.
	And don't forget that he's never been to a dentist in his life.
	I don't appreciate that.
	I said the quiet part out loud.
	So maybe now you'll change it.
	Since you know how I feel.
	Yeah.
	But.
	Okay.
	Wait, what was I talking about?
	About getting the shirts, bro.
	Yeah, before the shirts, though.
	Wretching somebody at the party, heroin.
	Oh, yeah.
	So Jesse Pearson's there, and he's like, oh, and I go, how you doing, man?
	He goes, not good, dude.
	And I go, you puking?
	He's like, stop.
	You're retching.
	Barf's coming out.
	He goes, don't, don't.
	And I go, I don't know where I came up with this, but it's one of the best lines I've ever said.
	I go, I think I came up with it because I wanted him to barf so bad that I went into my brain and I was like, hey guys, wake up.
	All right.
	I need all hands on deck.
	We're trying to make a person barf here.
	I need to be really creative, really gross.
	And so my brain, the people in the brain department came up with this.
	They go, oh, our dads are naked.
	Did you know that?
	Our dads, they're naked.
	My dad is naked with your dad.
	And they're on all fours and their asses are touching.
	What are they doing there?
	They're pushing their asses together on all fours.
	And there's butter, like big swabs of butter up and down your dad's ass crack and my dad's ass crack.
	There's butter, melting butter.
	It's on their ass cheeks.
	And there's fucking, and this is what did it.
	I go, there's fucking flies everywhere.
	There's flies all over both.
	And he just goes, oh my God, that's fucking disgusting.
	Oh, man.
	What?
	There's nothing better than making someone barf.
	Making a gorgeous woman come, pretty good.
	It's no making your friends barf.
	All right.
	Next purple.
	Are you taking calls yet, Ryan?
	Yeah, we have the ability to take calls anytime that you're ready.
	So call.
	Has anyone called?
	So far, so no.
	How no?
	We're on the decline.
	I saw Nick Fuentes mention me mentioning him.
	Yeah, you want to play that clip?
	They think we're lame or something?
	We don't think you're lame.
	Right?
	That's not the official stance of the show.
	My beef with the Groipers is, and it's not a big beef, I love the Groipers.
	They've got fucking balls.
	We almost got canceled financially for going near them early on.
	My only problem is if you're trad, get married and have babies.
	Like, it's not like it's illegal.
	So if you're 24 and you're still living at home and you haven't fucked a chick, you're wasting time.
	Go out there.
	Get laid.
	Get married.
	Put a ring on it.
	There's nothing more traditional than that.
	That's my only beef with them.
	It's not a big beef.
	Evan has been popping up on my YouTube timeline lately, and he's name-dropped you a few times for being on the no-fly list.
	I used to listen to him in school in 2016.
	But have you interacted now that you're famous?
	No, not really.
	He was at AFPAC 1, and I met him there, and I met him at the national conference, national file conference that happened two days before that.
	Other than that, I don't think I've ever talked to him.
	That's two conversations, Nick.
	That's pretty good.
	He was a huge part of my development.
	I mean, I used to binge all his stuff for years when I was in high school.
	So he's like a hero.
	You know, even though, you know, we don't agree on everything these days.
	He's not like a traditionalist.
	He thinks we're lame or whatever.
	But he still is a hero.
	Still a hero of mine from what I'm saying.
	If you're watching, can't I?
	Get that fucking water bottle off of your desk.
	It looks like shit.
	Stop.
	We got it.
	We got it.
	You're wearing a suit.
	You got the ostensibly the New York City skyline behind you.
	They got the Empire State Building there.
	Everything looks fantastic.
	You got your mug.
	No one has a problem with the mug.
	That fucking piece of garbage on your desk has got to go.
	It can be in a pint glass, I guess.
	It is one of the worst looks a person could have.
	And the skyline does look good.
	He's got things flying around.
	When you have a water bottle in your shop, you made your joke.
	Now you got a lie in it.
	Hello, my bleeps.
	We need to come up with a cool name for blacks.
	Yeah, Canadians don't cut it no more.
	Hello, my bleeps.
	Just to add to your observations on the black alliance on Survivor, Big Brother had an even better example of this last season.
	Six black contestants who hated each other throughout the season started an alliance called the Cookout, each befriending a white contestant to string along with the goal of getting all six to the end.
	Each week, they eliminated their naive white puppet.
	Like, this just sums up America.
	This goes back to the Roosevelt statue and the little girl statue.
	If you're playing a competitive game, then someone is going to take advantage of your weakness so they can win.
	It's this exact same as dodgeball.
	If they notice that you're not paying attention after a throw, then you want to try to get them after a throw.
	White Americans, their weakness is this crippling fear of being seen as racist.
	Like the fucking guy who held the Jews hostage at the synagogue.
	The reason he got a visa, the reason he was allowed here, despite being a fucking world-renowned terrorist, was Britain didn't want to seem racist.
	And America, American officials, they wouldn't hesitate to ban a proud boy, but the idea of banning a Muslim was so horrific that they just gave him a red carpet over to a synagogue where he kidnapped a bunch of Jews because he thought that would help free his sister because he's an inbred Muslim who is likely the son of first cousin cousin marriage.
	I forget the name of fucking your first cousin.
	It's like miskagination kind of a name, but it's not a good thing, especially generation after generation after generation.
	So he's a piece of human garbage.
	His sister's a psychotic, Lady Al-Qaeda, a psychotic anti-Semitic terrorist that wants Jews to die and is very vocal about it, wants all Americans to convert or die, would love to nuclear bomb Israel.
	So bad people.
	Got it?
	But no, let's let him go.
	And you see these young girls, like this past week, there's been like three beautiful young girls murdered by a black man because they were scared of being seen as racist.
	So Westerners, British people, whites in America, they would literally rather die than be seen as bigots.
	I'd rather be seen as a bigot.
	It's like having a gun in New York City.
	You're looking at five years.
	It's illegal to have a handgun.
	But if it comes down to shooting someone who's trying to kill me and doing some time, I'd rather be alive at Rikers than be dead in East New York.
	Anyway, so that's why I purpled this particular letter because it's indicative of a much bigger problem here.
	And I don't blame blacks.
	Like there's a magic button on their desk that says, everything that you worked for is actually worth 10 times what you did because you were thwarted and you were held back.
	And if you made 10 bucks, you actually deserve 100 bucks.
	Who's not going to push that button?
	My beef is the button being there and saying, blacks built this country and whites are dicks and everything is racist.
	That's the issue.
	Each week, they eliminated their naiveway puppet.
	They even strung a Hispanic girl along, thinking she was in their person of color alliance.
	She was cut at seven.
	One of the six was a half Indian, dot, so she was obviously first to go once they reached the final six.
	It was quite something to watch as each white contestant gladly gave up their chance for the money for the greater good of a black winner.
	It was a great glimpse into our world at the moment.
	Can you imagine an openly white alliance?
	No, I cannot.
	Ew, what are you fucking doing?
	Snorting on the mic?
	I'm sorry.
	That was gross.
	I'm surre.
	Check out this Unbelievably Bass Now.
	We'll make that an opening song some other time.
	Gav, probably one of many, but Great Britain is England, Scotland, and Wales.
	Wait, hold on with that.
	Great Britain is England, Scotland, and Wales.
	The United Kingdom is England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
	Otherwise, it's officially called Great Britain and Northern Ireland, which it says on my passport.
	I should know that.
	Also, old gripe here, but why do you have your phone wallet in your back pocket?
	That's what women do.
	What?
	If you ask women why they do it, it's because their clothes aren't made with adequate pockets.
	You wear a fucking suit.
	Inside pocket or front.
	Yeah, my phone's often in my inside pocket.
	But as far as normal attire goes, it's keys in the front, right?
	And then your back pocket is your wallet and your phone.
	Who puts their phone in their front pocket?
	Am I crazy here?
	I sometimes put it in the front if I'm sitting down and it feels like it's going to crunch, like it's crunching my screen or something.
	Well, you wear the craziest fucking ripped jeans with your bubble butt.
	You look like Lizzo, dude.
	Thanks.
	What are you wearing right now?
	Are you still wearing your skin-tight jeans?
	No, I'm wearing regular things.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Where do you put your phone, Maddie?
	Mostly in my back pocket.
	Where do you put your wallet?
	Um, I usually keep that in my coat in, like, a pocket up here.
	Because I got a fucked up back episodic nerve, and I don't like to keep a big wallet in my pocket.
	Okay.
	You seem upset.
	No.
	Just sitting on a wallet that's kind of a little bit thicker is kind of like fucked up.
	But then you must be forgetting it all the time.
	Like when you drive, do you put it in the car door and shit?
	No, I put it in the console in the middle.
	You must forget it.
	Occasionally.
	I mean, it's no big deal.
	Okay.
	Speaking of my bubble butt, when my physique came up yesterday at Compound and Jim Norton was there, I'm really kicking myself that I didn't say, well, I've just been going to the gym.
	Going to the gym and eats him better.
	Because Ozzy Osborne was, this was a famous moment.
	Ozzy Osborne was on the show, and he asked Jim, he's like, Jim, you look great, man.
	What's the secret?
	And then Jim Norton assumes an Irish accent for some reason.
	He's like, to mirror his voice.
	He's so nervous.
	It's his hero.
	And he goes, just going to the gym and eats him better.
	And they just make fun of him forever because of it.
	And I don't know if I could drop the needle on it.
	My little soy sauce.
	It fucking is my new favorite estate.
	Hopefully you've heard the new one.
	Is there a vine that I missed?
	Last night?
	Only the first line and then you're stabilized.
	Oh.
	Go a little bit.
	Here's the thing.
	Oh, way back.
	Oh, way back.
	All right.
	And go to when I walk in.
	Oh, no.
	Here he goes.
	I was outside doing the opening.
	I don't know more.
	Fast forward.
	Right there.
	I'm scared.
	Hawaii.
	Good to see you.
	He's.
	Ozzy, how are you guys?
	Where you been?
	I was outside doing the opening.
	Oh, he's done it again.
	That was a totally different time.
	He turns Irish around Ozzy Osborne.
	So I'm really upset at myself.
	There's English.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Yeah.
	He's from Birmingham.
	Go to the chat.
	Birmingham sounds pretty Irish.
	You are on the air.
	Yeah, let's take some calls.
	He's a fucking loser.
	Where's the super chat?
	Has no one super chatted?
	Oh, we've got him.
	Okay, why does everyone get two?
	Are they supposed to appear on the screen?
	Thank you for calling.
	It's great to have you for a second.
	So what's happening with that?
	They're coming up now.
	Here they are.
	Gone to the Gemini battle.
	It's not like we're going to raise $1,500 in 55 minutes.
	Are you pulling up a thing or should I do another letter?
	Bam.
	Should I read all these?
	Please give me some leadership advice.
	If any of them catch her up.
	Because he started a healthcare acquisition business.
	I don't know what that is.
	But hipster, hacker, and a hustler.
	You need a guy, a sales guy out there pulling in the money.
	And don't, please don't trivialize his role.
	You're nothing without your sales guy, the hustler who talks to people.
	I assume in this business, he's doing the acquisitions.
	You need a hacker who's figuring out what's wrong with your system, not just your computers, but the whole process from A to B. From you getting money in your bank account to you going out and finding these people, that whole system, that's the hacker.
	And then the hipster is the sort of culturally aware dude that keeps it fun and cool and interesting and like works on the brand.
	And sometimes there'll be a guy who's like 60% hipster and 40% hacker.
	It's not like every single person has to be only that role.
	Sometimes, you know, you can do, like I do a bit of sales stuff.
	Ryan is the hipster and the hacker in many ways.
	We have a hacker.
	Anyway, that's my advice.
	Super hot girls on Instagram post photos and videos of themselves half naked, but we'll write a full dissertation in the comments about having a crippling body dysmorphia.
	Yeah.
	Fellows, check out this Iraq war video.
	Oh, thanks.
	Guy's trying to get a channel going.
	I know you like the war videos, as you are a true vet.
	Shit.
	I could dig up that link there.
	So I don't know how to do...
	We don't know how to do links on super chats.
	I could grab it.
	Okay, Faggot, you asked for it yesterday.
	I'll send you $100 to suck a turd live on air.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's right.
	Okay, I'll do that.
	With a condom on.
	Yeah, yeah, with a condom.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	And it'll be my turd.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Not going out in the street.
	Finding turds.
	Story in the death of Kool about meeting Tommy Lee from Molly Cruz Hilarious.
	Did you ever get to meet him again?
	You know, it's funny you bring that up.
	I've been thinking about that recently.
	Really?
	Yeah, about how what if we'd become best friends and I hadn't done that joke?
	And the answer to that, Gavin, is no.
	If you had kissed his ass and not done that joke, then you guys would have had like a couple beers and you'd never see him again.
	You weren't about to become fucking Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
	But the story is, Motley Crew was writing dirt, and the editor who was helping him was reading my book, Do's and Don'ts, or maybe it was The Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll.
	And anytime Tommy was reticent to get really raunchy with a story, his editor would go, look, Gavin did this in this book, and it was funny.
	So it made him ballsier with the story.
	So he goes, I got to meet this guy.
	So he was in New York.
	I went to meet him.
	And I thought, okay, this guy likes my humor.
	We're on the same page.
	We're bros.
	I'm basically meeting my buddy from high school in Canada.
	So he goes, he did that LA thing.
	Yo, my brother, fucking, they love hugging over there.
	And he puts his arm around me and he hugs me and he holds me close.
	Pulls me in.
	But this isn't why I did that joke.
	And I go, I go, whoa, this guy's got a boner.
	Pretty funny.
	He does not enjoy the joke.
	He looks at me like I'm a fag or whatever.
	He goes and sits in a booth alone.
	Eventually the waitress comes by.
	He ends up seducing her, taking her to his room.
	And then I'm stuck with the rest of his LA crew, which is like fucking affliction t-shirts.
	They're all my age, right?
	They're all in their 50s.
	Ripped jeans, fucking torn denim.
	Bald, but like with a little hat on to say I'm not bald with like a bandana.
	Like they totally look like Tiger Kings posse.
	Or at least that one guy who bought the thing at the end there with the bandana and the hat on.
	That's his whole crew super LA'd out.
	So they're obviously not funny either.
	And they don't want to sit with me because they're like his ass kiss crew.
	So they're not going to be like, that was a fucking funny boner joke, dude.
	You totally made him uncomfortable.
	So we're all just like this.
	So after two sips of my beer, I realize Tommy's not coming back.
	And I'm like, all right, I'm going to head out.
	And I just leave $10 on the table and fucking leave.
	Oh, we got.
	Take a call, but then we got here.
	Said, since there's nothing new under the sun, history repeats itself along with how it will be from the beginning, how it will happen again at the end.
	Do you think women will be our downfall a la Eve?
	Ooh.
	Try to make us partake in evil.
	It does seem like everything shitty goes back to women.
	For real.
	Like, what was I talking about the other day where something bad happened?
	And I went, I gotta say, man, I can't help but think this was women.
	Is it women or the fact that men have stepped down from their leadership role thus then?
	Well, it's shit chests, right?
	Yeah, but if men...
	Oh, I remember what it was.
	OAN is banned from Direct TV.
	Oh, yeah, that's right.
	Yep.
	And I just, I heard that.
	I just went, that's a woman.
	That's a female exec who was getting shit from her friends, and she works at DirecTV, and their friends were like, why do you guys still have OAN?
	It is racist.
	It's Donald Trump.
	And there was a really fun dinner party we were having, and Alexander Orqueza-Cortez was there.
	And we couldn't invite you because you have OAN.
	And she was like, OAN's gone.
	It's done.
	We're getting rid of it.
	I just don't see a man cutting a fucking network from their broadcast service.
	Doesn't seem right.
	No.
	It's pathetic.
	Pathetic.
	And they've got a huge range.
	It's direct TV.
	It's got what, 800 channels?
	No, not on my watch.
	No OAN.
	And OAN is not censored.tv.
	There's no faggot nigger jokes.
	It's pretty straight.
	It's Fox.
	Made a GOML drinking game for the baby monsters sent to Mailbag.
	Okay.
	See it here.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	Five bucks.
	We're not going to get up to $1,500 with a bunch of five bucks.
	I got it here.
	And it is as follows.
	Drink if Gavin touches his nose.
	Drink at every segment bumper.
	Drink if Gavin yells at Ryan.
	Drink if Gavin talks in a Scottish accent.
	Drink if Gavin mentions pedophiles.
	Drink if Gavin mentions some punk band.
	Pretty much you're just going to keep drinking.
	I don't know what it is with the nose.
	I apologize in advance.
	It's a nose hair, for sure.
	I have them too.
	I will do that, and they'll be like, we got to find this fucking guy.
	And I do.
	It's not a nose hair, Ryan.
	It's just like a twitch.
	I don't know.
	But you're squeezing it.
	It always is a squeeze.
	That's what makes it think it's internal.
	Does it feel internal or external?
	It just feels tickly.
	I think it's a mustache hair that's curling up and tickling my nostrils.
	Let me do this letter, another purple here.
	What's up, my dudes?
	Oh, that's another t-shirt, too.
	Baby monsters.
	Irish girl gets killed by a Muslim.
	Wokeism is off the charts.
	The subject here is, what's up, my dudes?
	I told you that, right?
	Nobody wants to talk about how these people can't assimilate to Western society.
	Here's another thing about Muslims and raping, too.
	They watch a ton of porn.
	So they think when they see a blonde not in a burqa, they go, oh, I've seen you guys on my computer.
	You're fucking whores that like to be choke fucked to death.
	Well, I'm happy to oblige.
	And they start choke fucking them.
	The narrative is all men need change.
	Here's a prominent zero COVID fag boner suggesting men should have to take a course in how to function in social settings.
	Men should have to take a course.
	So it's not Muslims, it's men.
	And I remember that with the pulse shooting.
	They were like, the problem here is conservatives and homophobia.
	And you're like, I guess jihadists, in a sense, are conservatives.
	I guess in their universe, they're definitely not liberal Muslims.
	But I don't think that's the issue here.
	I think it's the Quran.
	But let's see what this fucking warthead has to say.
	I mean, my view is, you know, to be radical, and I accept this radical, but, you know, you need 12 lessons to learn to drive a car.
	You need a license to drive a car.
	You need to do a test.
	Do we need some sort of almost qualifications, licensing, education for men to go out into the social sphere?
	Now, people would say, is that an impingement on our rights of free movement?
	And obviously, we've all been through this through COVID, but as we've just heard, many women feel their ability to free move is really restricted because of danger.
	So I think we need to think of new ways of doing things.
	The same old, same old old work.
	I'm delighted to hear the...
	I mean, my view is...
	I didn't...
	Did you pick up any of that?
	Yeah.
	He's saying there's all this different rigmarole you have to go through to get a driver's license.
	You should have to go through some sort of training.
	Men should have to go through some sort of training in order to walk around in public.
	Because we clearly have a rape problem on our hands, and it's men.
	That's like priests rape boys.
	Gay priests rape boys.
	Men are kidnapping women and holding them.
	Yeah, Muslim men are.
	Can you retell the weird, weird story from The Death of the Cool, one of the most hilarious stories I've ever heard?
	Okay.
	Derek Beckles and I had just moved to New York City in 1999.
	I was making money for the first time in my life.
	I had on a Russian drug dealer track suit on with a big gold chain, much bigger than this.
	It was all real.
	I had gold teeth, gold rings on every finger.
	I was nigger rich.
	And we were, and he was black.
	He still is, actually.
	And we were walking home from somewhere in the West Village.
	Oh, it was Gavin Brown Gallery.
	No relation.
	And this car full of black whores pull up in a Honda Civic, and they look like a Nicki Minaj video.
	They have like green, they're punk, basically.
	They're wearing lingerie.
	Their fucking nails are nuts.
	Like they look like zombie whores Versus the surf Nazis, like some crazy B-movie horror flick that some kid did.
	In remember Troma?
	Like that kind of shit.
	They are over the fucking top.
	And I'm like, let's fuck them.
	So they pull up and they go, hey, where are y'all headed?
	And I go, we were vegetarians at the time.
	I go, we're going to get veggie burgers.
	And they go, they didn't never heard of a veggie burger.
	And they go, okay, well, let's go with you.
	Now we're headed to St. Mark's and whatever that is, third.
	There was a burger joint there that had great veggie burgers.
	No, this all sounds insane.
	And they go, okay, well, we'll drive you there.
	I was like, hop, let's hop in.
	So there's two girls in the front, one in the middle.
	Derek gets in the back seat.
	I get in the back seat.
	And they go, ooh.
	Instantly, it's all about how they're going to fuck us.
	And I'm like, all right, hold on.
	It takes me a little bit to get a boner here.
	I've just met you, but I'm in.
	And they're driving.
	And they go, ooh.
	And she's looking at me and she goes, I bet you got a big old dick.
	Like, probably, I want to say that to the black guy, but okay, yeah, sure.
	And then she goes, where is this place?
	I'm like, it's on St. Mark's, blah, blah.
	And she goes, she goes, I got to fuck you.
	I think I got to fuck you right now.
	All right.
	I didn't know.
	Part of it, like, this is my dick, by the way.
	My asshole dick was like, dude, you're so fucking hot and these girls are so horny that she needs to pull over to fuck you.
	And I was like, wow, dick, you're perceptive.
	I believe you.
	This guy's been lying to me since 1984 when I turned 14.
	And I keep believing him.
	Just today, my wife asked me if I was going to be around for a while this morning.
	I was like, someone's putting on a lingerie outfit to blow me.
	That was not the case.
	Anyway, she pulls over by a fire hydrant.
	She leans her chair back.
	So now, like, it's touching my chin.
	And she turns around and she's like rubbing my face and she's like, oh, I'm going to suck your dick and you're going to fuck me in my ass.
	I was like, all right, well, hold on.
	So I pull my pants down and my dick is like, the adrenaline is pumping.
	My dick is like worse than Ryan's, if you can even imagine.
	It's just a sad little baby dick.
	But I'm thinking, maybe I'll get a boner.
	And as she's like cooing and, oh, fuck, I'm going to fuck you.
	I'm like, yeah, okay, let's get set up here.
	I see the woman that's between Derek and I reach behind her and grab a thing of wet wipes.
	And I was like, wet wipes, huh?
	And this is in my movie, Death of Cool, which has been killed by Vice.
	It's sitting on a shelf.
	It'll never see the light of day.
	But this entire scene, we have black actresses.
	Like, it's all there, including my fantasy, which was, and again, this was this guy, we're going to fuck these girls, like, every weekend.
	And then it'll be like that Beastie Boy song.
	We'll all switch places when we ring the bell.
	And they're going to become, like, sometimes we'll go to Queens where they live.
	Sometimes they'll come to our place.
	And it's going to become this incredible sexual, fucking cool club where we just like bone all the time and do Coke and listen to music.
	And this is the beginning of something awesome.
	What the fuck was I thinking?
	Anyway, when I saw the wet wipes come down, I thought, these aren't just three beautiful young black girls who happen to notice that Derek and I are incredibly attractive and charming.
	These are whores.
	She looks like a fucking third great hooker.
	And then I thought, wait, if you're a whore, you probably don't like me very much.
	You're probably not interested in me in the long term.
	So as I was thinking this, I had a chain around my neck that was like a real chain, like a chain link fence.
	No, not like a chain link fence, like a chain that you would use to like pull a truck out of mud.
	But it was gold.
	And as I was going like, this is my, she was unscrewing it with her hands and putting it into her, I didn't notice.
	And then finally my instincts kick in and I start going too weird, too weird, too weird.
	And then I look over at Derek and I go, too weird, too weird, too weird, too weird.
	And then he looks over at me and he starts going, too weird, too weird, too weird, too weird.
	And then we both are yelling at each other going, too weird, too weird, too weird, too weird.
	And we open up the doors.
	He jumps out.
	I jump out.
	My pants are still in my ankles, by the way.
	And then they peel out like, they peel down whatever it was, 3rd Street.
	And I'm left there and I go, did we just blow a chance for like this permanent fuck gang?
	Or did we just save our own lives?
	And he goes, I don't know.
	Where's your chain?
	It's gone.
	And we both had our wallets, thank God.
	I guess mine was at my ankles because I said, where's your wallet?
	And he had it.
	And we just thought after they were, so clearly we were getting hustled.
	We did get hustled.
	I lost a $700 chain.
	But afterwards, we were like, luckily you came across some Canadian pussies who don't have guns and yell too weird, too weird and jump out of cars.
	What if we were like Albanian Coke dealers who were armed?
	Like, you're dead.
	That was pretty brave, you dumb horse.
	Anyway, that's the...
	You guys had such good instincts.
	You made Columbo look like Mr. Magoo, babe, Baylor.
	So that's Dennis.
	That's Jesse Lee, Dennis Miller.
	Dennis Lee Peterson.
	Dennis Lee Peterson.
	Okay.
	Maddie, you seem a little quiet over there.
	No, I was paying attention to the story.
	It's the first time I've heard it.
	Oh, really?
	You seem a little disgusted with me.
	No, no, no, no.
	He disapproves.
	No, no, no.
	I'm embarrassed in my lack of street smarts.
	Plus, it's not like it happened at 3 p.m.
	This is like 3 a.m.
	We've been doing blow, getting wasted.
	So when I saw a bunch of hot fucking black chicks in lingerie who were told me they were dying to fuck me, My dick took over and said that's true, guys.
	Come on, man.
	All of a sudden, you were Don Juan.
	Yeah, he made Don Juan look like Pablo Diasco Mar.
	Do you want to take a call?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Who do we got?
	Well, I'll tell you.
	It's Catfish.
	Hello, Catfish.
	Yo, Gab.
	Yo.
	Hey, I need to get paid.
	You never paid me for the Warren Coffs bumper.
	Ooh.
	Oh, kind of awkward.
	Let's handle this off the air.
	Listen, they're going to come to New York.
	I'm going to break your fucking knee, Cat.
	There's no need for that, sir.
	There's no need for that.
	We'll be paying you presently by and by.
	I apologize.
	That's a miscommunication.
	No, for real, Ryan, will you check the mailbag?
	You don't know what I'm talking about, right?
	Yeah, take a note of that, Ryan.
	We'll definitely get that money to you tomorrow at the latest.
	Sorry about that.
	Very good.
	Do you consider that my one thing?
	Yes, thanks for calling.
	This guy's like, I don't even know what to say.
	Hello to my favorite Scottish-Canadian Budweiser receptacle and his Puerto Rican mantis shrimp babysitter.
	I typically do not find content that would be entertaining enough for your show.
	Thank you for using that discretion.
	I'm not sending as something that everyone's seen 9 million times.
	However, I recently stumbled across a video which nearly destroyed my faith in society.
	I do not really even know how to explain it.
	I think you will find it interesting at least.
	And again, I've pre-screened these letters.
	This got a purple flag.
	Okay, so I'm looking at the flags.
	Oh, it's called I Don't Even Know What to Say.
	And it's superb.
	And we're done with purples.
	I think we should.
	Okay, good.
	Yep.
	So much quality letters here.
	It's amazing.
	I think we should pivot to the paychats and then also maybe calls, but these pay chats are...
	I don't know if we're going to be able to tackle them.
	Why does it have makeup on?
	This is amazing.
	I don't even know what's going on.
	It has makeup on its face.
	Yeah.
	Like foundation, like your mom.
	It's got like blush on the cheek.
	I checked out the rest of this guy's channel.
	It's a lot of...
	It's a lot of poorly done classical music, but he can play instruments.
	What are you reading?
	Yeah, like...
	The notes?
	Imagine finding out you're turned on by this.
	You're like, oh shit, this is my thing.
	Imagine this was stuck in your head all day.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	What is this supposed to be like that ASMR or whatever?
	Oh, yeah, maybe.
	ASMR.
	What are you reading, dude?
	And why are you quiet right now?
	What's this now?
	What the?
	I could watch this all day.
	Do you think this is good?
	What is the name of it?
	Are you happy with...
	What's the name of it, Ryan?
	A general interpreter.
	No, interrupter to ongoing activity.
	So it's just there to mind fuck you.
	As a non-vocalist, I appreciated the seeing of the hard work and effort.
	What?
	A non-vocalist, I suppose.
	Yeah, I appreciate your effort, sir.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	All right, that's enough of that.
	Let's get some super chat.
	I'm dreading that.
	We have half an hour left.
	I bet the super chats are up to like 80 bucks.
	There's a bunch.
	No, I see a couple hundreds, couple 25s.
	Okay.
	At least broke 500.
	At least.
	Okay, so here we go.
	We have one on the screen there.
	Swab Oasis call people from the Middle East sand niggers.
	We jokingly call people from Alaska snow niggers.
	Can we start calling madly retarded folks sprain niggers?
	Yes, you may.
	Okay, footage of Hila Klein from her time in the IDF.
	Okay, these links I have to find.
	I have to go in there.
	Sprinkles.
	Crazy hot matrix I have to look up.
	Matrix.
	Someone just sent us a letter.
	Looks pretty cool.
	Snuff film from today, LAPD Motorcycle Chase.
	This is up Maddie's alley.
	It might get him out of his shell.
	Snuff films.
	I mean, somebody dies.
	Yeah.
	We're not going to your Sprinkles thing, dude.
	Not for $10.
	Oh.
	Is that it?
	Look how fast.
	That's got to be like 90.
	Sport bike.
	I mean, to do that amount of damage to the front of the car, that's a hard hit.
	Have you gone that fast in the city?
	I've driven pretty fast through New York City.
	I hate that you guys say...
	What do you say if you're not going 90, you're not going?
	If you're not doing 90, you're not moving.
	Oh, fuck, 90.
	Whoa!
	Yeah, he was launched about a good 60 feet in the air.
	Let's see that again.
	Was he on a police...
	Was it a police chase?
	I don't know.
	Are you just fucking...
	That's got to be like drunk driving.
	He disappeared.
	Oh, no, I guess he's in front of that corner.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, the guy gets kind of lost.
	That's like one of those videos on crazy shit.com.
	You ever go to that video?
	I mean, a helicopter's chase him, so it's probably a police chase.
	Yeah, yeah, there'd be no reason to record him otherwise.
	Unless it was the last episode of the Truman show.
	Oh, we sing the Crazy Hot Matrix, sir.
	It's like crazy and hot.
	God, don't fucking send me the Crazy Hot Matrix.
	Here's a good letter.
	Is it true Maddie killed Gary to get the gig here?
	Let's just skip that.
	Hot shit.
	Yeah, we'll skip it.
	It is kind of a weird coincidence that Gary vanished.
	What was your you run into Gary a few times, right?
	Yeah.
	Hot shit.
	Every time I saw him, he's like, it's my birthday.
	You got $5?
	Every day is his birthday.
	Well, that's good.
	You ever had a long conversation with him?
	No.
	Very brief.
	He's a thousand years old.
	Every day is his birthday.
	Terrible.
	He doesn't even question, like, how do you know my name?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's just, hey, it's my birthday.
	You got $5?
	I'm like, oh, Jesus.
	God bless him wherever he is.
	I had a cop buddy look into him.
	Yeah, yeah, he's.
	And he's like, this is not atypical with bums.
	They don't have any kind of records.
	They don't buy shit on Amazon and have it shipped to their house.
	So they don't exist.
	But he goes, I think I found him and he was at some home up in Westchester.
	There's one up in Valhallabada County Jail, the VOA or something like that.
	Volunteers of America.
	Big homeless shelter.
	Am I still looking for an older, cool car?
	Yes.
	It's not really too old, but it's kind of interesting.
	It's 2003, 2004, Infinity.
	Yeah, it's one thing to name the car, but like, I got to find it for sale in America.
	But let's look at it.
	Infinite M45.
	Infinity M45.
	All the people who were helping me look just sort of got bored.
	I don't really like that.
	It's boring.
	All right, let's take a call.
	Let's talk to a human.
	Human.
	Human.
	Mark.
	Hey, Mark.
	It's about time you fucking come.
	All right.
	That was my lead Yorkshire accent.
	That's a tough accent.
	Anyway, yeah.
	Or dialect.
	All right.
	So you guys hear about that white chick in LA that was killed?
	Yep.
	That's what I was just talking about.
	She had a bad vibe about this dude, and she didn't call 911 because she didn't want to appear racist.
	Yeah, I mean, that's unfortunate.
	But there's this thing where the bleach like to say that it's like missing white woman syndrome or something.
	Yeah.
	And I feel like that's like something that they're trying to push again here because it's like, oh, there's all these, you know, like black women that go missing and are being killed in Chicago.
	It's like, yeah, by who?
	Yeah, there's that.
	And it's also, it's the same with American Indians where they go, you know, 3,000 or 30,000, the numbers are insane.
	30,000 American Indian women go missing every year and no one cares.
	And you're like, really?
	Is it like a big van is pulling up and throwing them in and then like sending them to Afghanistan where they become whores?
	No.
	It's drug addicts and alcoholics who just leave their families, leave their culture, their background, and they go vanish with some fucking crack dealer and end up in like Venice Beach with no ID.
	Like we would, the idea of like a cute little black girl vanishing, that would dominate the news.
	But it's very rarely that.
	It's always like she voluntarily got caught up with the wrong people and ended up going on a fucking crack bender.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, it's kind of like that one like prostitute chick that was like 17 that killed her John in New York, the black chick, but they tried to make that into a racist thing back when that other chick, that other white girl was killed by her boyfriend or whatever,
	that YouTube girl.
	Yeah, believe me.
	If there was an innocent middle-class black girl working at Chipotle that got murdered by anyone, but especially a fucking MAGA dude, oh my.
	Look at George Floyd.
	You don't think we pay attention to black death enough?
	Thanks for calling.
	I was talking to my wife about this the other day, by the way.
	Can you fucking imagine if all of these Asians in New York getting shoved in front of trains were getting shoved by MAGA dudes and they were doing it because Trump said that COVID came from China.
	Or at least one of them said that and the others might have been acting accordingly.
	Oh my God.
	We'd all have to move to like fucking Liberia.
	I mean the entire country would be in flames.
	Instead, it's just like there's a hate crime problem here and it's kind of remember that at the beginning they were really pushing whites.
	They were like and then they started going towards the end of that they were like it's blacks enacting white supremacy and you're like going to be tough and now they've just said let's just not talk about it Gav, you're the most clear-sighted person I've ever watched your generation you're you're our generation's Thomas Jefferson couldn't agree more sir The fact that your voice has been removed from the mainstream conversation is a fucking travesty please for the sake of the West never stop fighting and please accept my dollars 100.
	Thank you.
	I'm not taking your dollars though of course I'm giving them to Max and John But yeah You know, I'm working on this book, and I'll tell you more about it later.
	But Alan Froyer, stupidest name in the world, from the New York Times, called me and he said, You were at Gen 6.
	I told you this before, right?
	And I go, No, I wasn't.
	And he goes, He goes, He starts yelling at me.
	He goes, You think I'm fucking stupid?
	I've met you.
	And I go, Okay, well, I'm just lying then.
	And he goes, We have the New York Times, we have pictures of you at Gen 6.
	And I'm like, No, you don't.
	Then he sends me a picture of some dude who does look sort of like me.
	And I go, that's not me.
	And he goes, Yes, it is, you liar.
	And I'm in the car with my kids.
	We were coming back from boxing, like kids' lessons.
	So I've got my little boy's friend, and I'm in the car going, that's not fucking me, you idiot.
	I go, if it comes to this, fine, check the ears, check the ears.
	They're like fingerprints.
	Look at his ear.
	Look at my ear.
	And he had a picture of me with him.
	And then he said something I thought was very profound.
	He didn't mean it to be profound, but he goes, wow, I got to hand it to you.
	You keep, was it, you keep fighting or you don't give up?
	Now, that's very heavy that a journalist from the New York Times is saying that to me in that context.
	Because what he really means is, I'm here to sabotage you and fuck with your life and make you quit.
	I'm not here for the truth.
	I'm not here to, you know, examine January 6th and see if you were there.
	That's not why I'm here.
	I'm here to break you and you're still not broken.
	And I'm impressed.
	It was like he was taking out the entrails.
	Yeah, that's the picture he sent me.
	It's like he's pulling out the entrails of Braveheart.
	Not that I'm Braveheart, but you know what I mean.
	And I refuse to comply.
	Like he was like, wow, I keep torturing you and you keep bouncing back.
	And I like, that's a major part of my new book because that to me says so much, not about me, but about him.
	That he wasn't there for the truth.
	He wasn't like, holy shit, I just checked the ears.
	Okay, so we're rethinking that.
	That wasn't his attitude.
	His attitude was like, wow, I keep fucking you.
	I keep stabbing you and you keep getting up.
	That's exactly, that's, I'm glad I just said that.
	I keep stabbing you and you keep getting up.
	That's what he was basically saying.
	In other words, I'm not here to do anything but stab people and hope they don't get up.
	I'm a serial killer.
	I'm a New York Times journalist.
	His message continues.
	Oh.
	There's a limit on these guys.
	You've got to be careful.
	Also, take her easy on Ryan.
	The dude's a real talent.
	Blah, blah, blah for fuck's sake.
	What doesn't Maddie know?
	He interjects with crazy facts.
	I Google and I'm like, holy fuck, that dude knows everything.
	He really does.
	Yeah, you know what's weird, Maddie?
	Someone at the gym, you know, in between rounds, came up to me and he's like, how does that fucking Maddie guy know so much shit?
	I've lived an interesting life.
	And he was like, he's talking about salt water and BRCA, what is it called?
	Brackish water, yeah, yeah.
	Brackish water and shit.
	And I'm like, dude, he knew about the camera lenses and like the different color gels.
	The guy said, like, like, he's from New Rochelle.
	How the fuck does he know about fishing?
	Born and raised in New Rochelle.
	You don't fish in New Rochelle.
	And I go, you do down by the park.
	But I didn't have a good answer, but I go, maybe in prison you're sitting around with people and like you meet a guy who fished, you meet a guy who had a mantis shrimp.
	You meet a guy who...
	Who's your cellmate, Google?
	Who used to be a welder?
	And you just shoot the shit enough that you like know tons of shit.
	Who was locked up with Siri and Mr. Jeeves?
	What's your answer?
	How do you know so much trivia?
	I don't know.
	I read a lot.
	I mean, I've lived a cultured life.
	I've been around the world.
	I started traveling at a very young age.
	I pay attention.
	I'm perceptive.
	I have a pretty good recollection.
	Like, if I go to Japan, I'm asking Maddie where to go.
	Yeah, I've been to Japan three times.
	I'm going to be like, what's, you know, I literally would ask him over my dad.
	Not because I don't have access to my dad.
	It's because he knows.
	That's all right.
	You can call me Daddy.
	Do you have access to your dad, Ryan?
	Yes, I do.
	Okay, call him.
	Yeah, he's probably busy.
	Oh, give him a call.
	Nah, you know, in Japanese hours, when he's in L.A., it's perfect time.
	They call it Shih Tsuni.
	7 o'clock.
	They call it Shitsu ni noemade.
	Give him a jingle.
	No, because you know what hour it is?
	It's Gochu Su Samodesuka.
	Day.
	Come on, please, please call him.
	Hey, Siri, call dad.
	Dad.
	Father.
	Maybe you have to put in air quotes for Siri to know what you mean.
	Hey, Siri, call dad.
	Call sperm donor.
	If we weird him out, then he'll never pick up.
	Ryan, I'm playing with my new motorcycle.
	I put in the living room.
	Hey, Ryan.
	What's up, Dad?
	Hey, man, what are you up to?
	Happy New Year.
	Oh, yeah.
	Happy New Year.
	I'm so sorry I missed you last time, but I'm thinking I might be going there sometime soon.
	Yeah.
	Cool.
	Yeah, well, we were thinking about maybe we have some vacation time coming up after the summer, like at the end of the summer.
	So we can plan some.
	You should come over.
	You can stay with me.
	And even don't wait until summer.
	Oh, you cannot take a vacation?
	You know what?
	Maybe a little sooner, but the reason why it has to be so late in the summer is because the baby can't travel so early, so young.
	Oh, I see.
	I see.
	So when I get there, I might be going there, February.
	Okay.
	I don't know.
	That's great.
	That's right around the corner.
	Yeah, if I get the bigger room in the city, can you guys come over to stay?
	Oh, yeah.
	Because I don't have time to go there.
	West.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you.
	Well, it's not a problem.
	We could definitely visit you down there.
	Okay, if I go, I'm going to look for Airbnb or something that's big enough you guys can stay.
	Yeah, let us know.
	We would definitely do that.
	Yeah, definitely.
	Let me know when you come.
	Okay, cool.
	Yeah.
	All right, yeah, I got to send you some news.
	I have a doing the meeting right now, so I will call you back maybe tomorrow.
	All right, sounds good.
	I'll talk to you then.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	Love you.
	Bye.
	Love you.
	All right, bye.
	He loves me.
	No, he does not.
	He does.
	And when he said love you, he's like, fuck, fuck you.
	Danny said it.
	That feels so weird when I said love you at the end.
	He said, love you.
	And then he acted like that chick.
	He was like, love you.
	Got to go.
	Okay, let me call my dad and see how much he loves me.
	Probably like a little less than mine, but that's fine.
	I got to go.
	By the way, he never asked why you called.
	My dad has meetings.
	He just talked about himself and how busy he is and then ended the call because he has a meeting.
	He's got 7 p.m.
	Because I leave a message.
	Oh, look at that.
	I guess Gavin's dad dad.
	Hey, that's because they're partying, dude.
	Yeah, right.
	Probably because your brother's taking on a cool ass fucking cruise and you're not doing shit for them.
	I forgot all about the cruise.
	Wait, I think I was calling them in Ottawa.
	Maybe they're on a Santa Cruz.
	Oh, boy.
	Here, let me do...
	To do that, Super Chat, 47 pounds I lost.
	Hey!
	Damn.
	47.
	Holy shit.
	And still dropping.
	Still dropping, baby.
	Hello.
	Please leave us.
	I guess Gavin's dad, no love him.
	Woo-hoo, cry, cry.
	You really want to pursue this?
	This is where...
	Not really.
	Is this the gladiator battle you want to start?
	Is this the hill you want to die in?
	How many motorcycles does your dad go?
	Ryan's dad versus my dad.
	My dad goes vroom vroom.
	Okay?
	All the way away from I'm happy to unsheath my sword if you would like to step into the fray.
	I have a feeling you're going to end up decapitating.
	When it comes down to time spent, it's quality, not quantity.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that's the black thing.
	Has your dad ever brought you to Jeff Lynn's house of ELO?
	Have you heard of the band?
	The only celebrity that my dad ever got me near was he was at an airport.
	He noticed a mob of people surrounding Eric Estrada.
	That's actually kind of cool.
	Of Chips fans.
	So he didn't know who it was.
	So he ran over and he got an autograph of Eric Estrada because everyone else was.
	He's probably drunk.
	Eric Estrada came home and I was like 10 and he's like, here, I got you an Eric Estrada autograph.
	And I'm like, thanks.
	The guy from Chips?
	Old Bruno Mars?
	I have his.
	Well, I did.
	Believe it or not, I did not hold on to it, but I had his signature on an envelope.
	Damn.
	Maybe a little news at this point, but have you seen the documentary, The Curse of Von Dutch?
	I heard it was awesome.
	Great things about it.
	Okay.
	I'm on a documentary, Bender.
	I'm looking forward to the HR one, and I'm looking forward to that one.
	Isn't Von Dutch the awkward comedian guy?
	No, it's that company that really flying eyeball.
	Yeah, like Kevin Federline style shit.
	Oh, yeah.
	Really tacky.
	Oh, yeah.
	Trucker cops, jeans, jackets, bats.
	Perfect song for this too.
	They didn't want to run a business.
	It was really a facade.
	Hello?
	Hi, honey.
	Did you just call me?
	Well, I called Dad, actually.
	Oh, well, I don't know.
	He's passed out somewhere.
	Well, this is actually probably suitable.
	So we're coming down tomorrow.
	Yes.
	And I was wondering if there's a way we could see you and not dad.
	Oh.
	Well, I could disguise myself as someone else.
	Or we could have a code.
	Like, you could say, oh, I have to go get groceries.
	Like, we could say our flight was canceled.
	And then you could say, I have to go get groceries.
	And then we could...
	I'm just not in a Jimmy McInnis mood, if you know what I mean.
	I mean, I'm sure you've been there yourself.
	Yeah, I know what you mean.
	Well, I kind of feel like that right now because dad went to get another beer and he fell out of bed.
	And I said, you know, I can't sleep when you're falling on the floor and screaming and yelling and farting.
	You know, he just disappeared.
	Hold on, stop.
	Let's rewind a little bit.
	So this is tonight?
	Oh, like 15 minutes ago.
	So why were you in bed?
	It's like, oh, I guess, yeah, you're old timers.
	You went to bed.
	So you're in bed.
	Really?
	Honey, we go to bed at 8 o'clock.
	Okay, so you're in bed.
	And then dad randomly just sitting in bed.
	Are you watching TV in bed?
	I was.
	And then he said, can you turn that off?
	I said, no, you turned on.
	Now I'm interested.
	I'm watching Tucker Carlson rave and he's good.
	I said, leave it on.
	And he said, no, no.
	I said, look, why don't you just piss off?
	You know, pain in the arse.
	So he goes up to get a beer because he's like, well, Tucker's on.
	She's not turning it off.
	I might as well just watch it, but I want a beer.
	So he gets him to get a beer.
	Then he falls.
	He fell on his backside.
	And then he goes, and then you said, oh, for fuck's sake, get it together, which is reasonable.
	And then he goes, his thing is like, well, fuck you.
	I'm leaving.
	And then he leaves the house.
	No, he's not.
	He's probably, I don't even know where he is.
	Just hold on.
	This isn't a huge place, you know.
	There's two beds.
	Yeah, that's the part I don't get.
	So where did he disappear to?
	Did he fall asleep on the couch?
	I don't know.
	I'll just go.
	Just hold on.
	Listen, you can hear me going, clump, clump, clump, clump, clump, clump.
	Clump, clump, clump, clump, clump, clump, clump, clump.
	Where is he?
	Okay, I'm going to the guest room.
	Is he here?
	Jimmy?
	He is.
	He's only seven clumps away.
	It's great, isn't it?
	He said he has a bossy bitch.
	You don't have a bossy bitch next to you.
	A bossy bitch here telling you to want to talk to your son.
	He's right here.
	Hey, Dad, did you hear about this whole gripe with Kanye West and Pete Davidson?
	I'm sorry that I hear about what?
	So Pete Davidson is dating Kim Kardashian now, and Kanye West wants to get back with Kim.
	So there's this incredible animosity.
	Oh, I was so interested in this fucking site.
	No, I don't think Kanye's going to get Kim back if he keeps getting so aggressive.
	Fuck off.
	Kanye.
	But Kanya is determined.
	He's got like, what, four kids with her.
	He's got North and a bunch of others.
	One kid's named North.
	Look, you are a poisonous fucking dwarf spreading this shite.
	No one gives two fucks about them.
	Oh, yeah, you're probably right.
	Okay, Dad, I'll see you tomorrow.
	Where are you going down?
	We get in at like, I don't know, 4 p.m. or something.
	Yeah, but then you have...
	How are you getting from the airport?
	I might rent a car.
	I might get Uber.
	My priority, though, is to embarrass you at your local with the most ridiculous costumes I can find.
	I'm currently putting together a Budweiser tracksuit with a Gucci fanny pack.
	Oh, my God.
	I will be so embarrassed.
	All right.
	Goodbye, Bigfoot.
	I hate you.
	Bye.
	They sound like whackpackers.
	I got my own whack back.
	It's my parents.
	Your mom and your dad.
	Oh, fuck off.
	My brother and I were talking about that show that Baby Monster told me about, the Radio Clyde thing called Make Your Dad Mad.
	And it's this guy who...
	He makes the phone calls.
	Yeah, you get your, it's usually a daughter.
	Look up Make Your Dad Mad Shannon.
	Did we already cover this on the show?
	Yes, we did.
	So she's like, Dad, I'm going to do a photo shoot.
	It's for Zoo Magazine.
	She's like, that's a fucking lad's magazine.
	If you pose in a bikini in that magazine, I'm going to jail for a mother.
	At one point he goes, you wear the bikini, I'm going to cut your horn.
	They say horns is hands.
	I'm going to cut your horns off.
	And you're not going to wear a bikini ever again.
	You'll not be able to tie it.
	Anyway, I was talking to my brother, and I was like, it's so easy to make Naswegian mad.
	And then we were talking about the times we've driven our dad insane.
	And then I realized my top two are involving the royal family.
	One was, and we have this, it's a drop, where I convinced him that I thought that Queen Elizabeth's husband was the king of England.
	That's when he goes, it doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	And then I remembered, much younger, when Lady Di died, I told him that I thought Elton John's Candle in the Wind was a stunning testament to everything that she represented and also her incredible friendship with Elton John.
	And he was so fucking mad.
	He's like, these people are actors that are mentally trying to fund the Korea.
	And I realized both cases, it was the royal families.
	Very sensitive about the royals.
	It's not very monarchy.
	It's not very working class Laswegian, is it?
	No.
	Don't blash beam the monarchy.
	They hate them just as much as everyone else.
	Well, he revised that one for Diana.
	Yes.
	Beautiful song.
	That is something that makes him fucking mad, though.
	Like that song, Marvin, Marvin, he was a friend of mine.
	Talk to me.
	Don't talk to me.
	Gonna be some sweet talk.
	Gonna be all night on the night shift.
	They're making money off a fucking song about someone they knew that's deep.
	It's disgusting.
	Bloody deep.
	That bell means there's a new chat on the screen.
	Somebody was asking about your clubs, by the way.
	My clubs are not interesting.
	They're from basically Unreliable at the duck.
	I did spend money on my driver and my putter, though.
	I've got a really fancy putter and a really fancy...
	I use the same driver.
	I just Googled, what driver does Tiger Woods use?
	And it's like, I mean, I'll go get it.
	If you guys want to handle some call.
	Sure.
	You can get a little call here.
	Howl?
	Somebody used your anal lip spreading technique and it did not work, by the way.
	She said she'd rather not go into the unknown not knowing.
	It's a difficult situation.
	Is that me?
	Profile pictures of you taking a bite of pizza while drunk.
	Greetings from Yorkshire.
	Have you heard of Ed Dutton, the jolly heretic?
	He gives a total analysis of anything you're interested in from evolutionary biology perspective.
	He is not yet banned on YouTube.
	And to Anyone well worth checking out, he is the type of blah, blah, blah.
	Let's pull him up.
	All my clubs are free clubs.
	I mean, irons, like, why would you care what you have?
	I think you should only care about a driver and a putter.
	So, this is my putter.
	It's called a spider.
	Ooh.
	My tailor-made.
	This cost me like $300.
	It's awesome.
	And I love it to death.
	The grip is amazing.
	Look at the grip on it.
	And then this is my driver.
	It is a Sim Max Tailor-Made 9.0.
	This thing, fuck, it's a salad bowl.
	You cannot miss with this thing.
	You know, I went golfing with Joelle and Jack?
	I told you that, right?
	Yeah.
	We got annihilated.
	Like, the last three holes were just ridiculous.
	But Joelle kept putting Vaseline on his driver.
	He says it stops the spin.
	That's a fucking thing.
	Don't you want spin on the ball?
	That's what all the little dimples are.
	Well, he said it stops it from like curving off into the woods.
	And of course, all his balls curved off into the woods.
	Did not work.
	We must have used 50 balls.
	23 of you.
	Don't like it, not watching it.
	Terrible.
	Sorry.
	Wasted time.
	Like, the medium is video.
	So get some lights.
	People.
	Get some fucking lights.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Hey, Ryan, I just noticed that that dong sounds really like the Taco Bell.
	Let's not talk about my dong.
	Let's not talk about your Taco Bell.
	You're not allowed to eat Taco Bell.
	Yes, I am now.
	And I always was.
	Look at this guy.
	Standing up for yourself.
	Hi, I'm Ryan Rivera.
	I'm allowed to eat Taco Bell.
	You know who you're talking to?
	I'm the kind of guy who's allowed to eat Taco Bell.
	Is that the Taco Bell Bell?
	It is the Taco Bell.
	It's the Taco Bell Bell Bell.
	It is.
	I know it.
	So you got Taco Bee on the mind.
	No, man.
	Fucking loser.
	How about last night?
	We're at Grand Central.
	And, you know, Grand Central shuts down super early.
	It's like eight or nine o'clock.
	So we're there.
	We're getting our train.
	And there's a little pizza place I like to get.
	They give you makers to go in a little cup.
	So I go, fuck, we still got time.
	So I run in.
	The guy's closing up.
	He's like, sure, he knows me.
	I tip him well.
	He's like, sure, sure.
	He gives me the thing.
	And I go, you want some?
	Of course, he doesn't.
	And no, the guy, sorry, the bartender goes, do you want something to Ryan?
	And I go, he doesn't have the enzymes.
	And some person at the bar was like, doesn't have the enzymes?
	Yeah.
	And I'm like, yeah, he's Asian.
	And then I think he disputed the Asian red cheeks.
	Yeah, I was like, yeah, no, my cheeks, they do get red.
	He's like, let's try it.
	I'll buy you a drink.
	And I was like, that's very nice of you, but I can't.
	I don't want to prove to you that I can't handle alcohol by having a sip of alcohol and getting wasted.
	And then I was talking about how I wanted to run from the police because I think it would be fun.
	Remember that mischief when you're running from the cops?
	And you were like, well, you can kill your wife.
	I was like, no, that one, if I do that, I don't want to get caught.
	I don't want to run indefinitely.
	Just a short period of time.
	He's like, you could do what Robert Durst did.
	And I was like, I'm more Fred Durst.
	And the guy laughed and we fist pounded.
	He was like, you remember the red Yankee hat?
	And I was like, yeah, I said Fred Durst.
	Oh, yeah.
	I know Red Hat.
	I forgot about all that.
	Yeah, you mentioned Fred Durst and he goes, remember the baseball hat?
	Yeah, we know Fred Durst.
	We've never heard of his baseball hat.
	Or like a kid rock record.
	That's a hard thing to say.
	He'd be like, do you know the midget Josie?
	No.
	Oh, you like Michael Jackson?
	Remember the glove he had on one hand?
	Remember the moonwalk?
	Yeah.
	I'm familiar with Michael Jackson's trademark.
	OJ's Bronco and Murder?
	No, no, I just have touchdowns.
	Hey, yo, what's up, guys and dolls?
	I'm here with Ryan Katsu Riverio, and we're at Grand Central getting on the train.
	I managed to run and get a maker's mark, and I go, do you want to grab a drink?
	And he goes, no, but do you think we have enough time for banana pudding?
	Banana pudding.
	I got it for my wife, by the way.
	Oh, yeah.
	I am allowed to buy her banana pudding.
	How much was it?
	I don't remember.
	I just bought it.
	You have no idea?
	Could it have been $10?
	The cheesecake was $8.
	The key lime cheesecake was $8.
	The pudding, I'm not sure.
	It was a medium.
	Medium.
	Medium.
	The cheesecake was $8.
	Well, it's Magnolia Baker.
	It's also New York City.
	It's also New York City.
	All right, we got to wrap it up, boys.
	This is it.
	It's not quite yet.
	We've got five minutes.
	MAGA movement, blah, blah, blah.
	Okay, tried technique, blah, blah, blah.
	Green Shirosha.
	Okay.
	Wait, you got to put them up as they happen, Ryan.
	Forget if I means exceedingly mournful or dismal.
	It doesn't mean slow.
	Ooh, ouch.
	Anth is moving to Greenville.
	Come down to Charleston, the water spot.
	Yeah, a lot of people are saying Greenville rules.
	South Carolina.
	Can you show my website?
	I'm trying to...
	Clown Pilled.
	Okay, Clown Pilled.
	Clownpill.news.
	Yep.
	Since we fell in love for the evening in the beginning, do you?
	Okay, wait, that's the same thing.
	Okay, that.
	So I got to update these.
	You want to take one more call?
	Yeah, I'm just worried that I've been saying lugubrious wrong for a long ass time.
	That's the only definition.
	This is true.
	Lugubrious, mournful, dismal.
	I've been saying it wrong for a long time.
	That's embarrassing.
	Are you thinking of loquacious?
	Well, I've also been using loquacious for that.
	But that's the word I was saying today, reticent.
	I like the word reticent.
	That is nice.
	That means like reluctant, right?
	No?
	Don't know.
	Not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily.
	Guarded.
	Kind of like you tonight, Maddie.
	Guarded.
	Very guarded.
	And Very reticent.
	Well, it's been a lot of the mailbag.
	That's true.
	Yeah.
	Gab, do you think Ryan has the sprinkles?
	That's a good question.
	No.
	How about this?
	Ask him if he thinks you do.
	I don't care if he thinks you do.
	I clearly do.
	I dance the jig.
	Ryan's great at imitations and stuff.
	But sprinkles?
	I don't know.
	You've seen his stand-up, right?
	At Guitar World?
	So have you not been showing...
	I would hate for someone to donate and not get their shit up.
	We're about 17 away from being caught up.
	Dude, you got to do them live.
	Don't wait.
	Are you waiting for me to answer?
	Not a couple of them.
	Like, if they're over $25, I think.
	Oh, that's fair.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Positive impact on my life.
	Get married and have a family.
	Right on, dude.
	And you make a shirt based on the apocalyptic skit you did where you dropped the line, store your beans.
	I still die laughing thinking about that line.
	I have no idea what you're talking about.
	I did an apocalyptic skit?
	I don't remember that at all.
	I remember the Jew Time Machine one.
	We're like, this is a lot of fun.
	This is high on sketches, though.
	I had a great idea for a sketch today.
	What the fuck was it?
	I don't know if you've seen the story, immigrant Taco Bell worker, murder in Long Beach over rejecting a counterfeit $20 bill.
	They found the perp, but won't release his description, although they give his name.
	He's a Mayati from Compton.
	They plastered O'Blipo's face on the news.
	By the way, that's what George Floyd was up to that night.
	He was fucking around with counterfeit 20s, and they called the cops.
	Which, isn't that your job?
	If you work at 7-Eleven and there's some miscreant hanging around trying to pawn an illegal 20 off you, isn't it 7-Eleven's policy to call the cops?
	I don't know.
	But I'd imagine...
	I'm not saying I would.
	Joe Rogan mentioned you today on his podcast.
	Ooh.
	Talked about you being kicked off Twitter.
	Did he talk about me being kicked off the Joe Rogan?
	Yeah.
	So anyway, this guy, me, transferred over to Spotify and then killed his interviews.
	And I was like, what the fuck, me?
	And me was like, sorry, I'm making $90 million a year.
	Gavin wouldn't hesitate to do the same to me.
	Touche.
	I would definitely, let's just make something clear for the record.
	I consider myself a very moral person.
	If I was offered $100 million to kill two episodes with Joe Rogan on them, they'd be gone.
	I'd be like, how about four?
	I would definitely float Joe a mill.
	Yeah.
	Try to figure out how we could get together in the future.
	I wouldn't be nuts about it, but he got $100 million.
	And here's another thing about Dr. Evil amount of money.
	My shows with him had already garnered on YouTube alone, well, it was only YouTube, right?
	5 million views each.
	And they were up on a weekly basis, maybe two or three people were watching them per week.
	So they had their moment in the sun.
	It's not like it was thriving.
	So two dead episodes kill me.
	Yeah, that's crazy, man.
	Wow.
	Man, he's a bad motherfucker, man.
	Pull that shit up, Jamie.
	When you unclog your dishwasher, that shit didn't smell bad at all.
	He's talking about the time I pulled this tube out of the base of my dishwasher, and it had...
	What do you think it would taste like?
	He asked.
	You know those weird poodles that have dreads?
	Poodles.
	They're like, what are they?
	Those big, like, St. Bernards?
	And they have these white dreads.
	They got the chocolate doodles.
	Sheepdogs.
	Yeah, they're like sheepdogs with white dreads.
	So the tube had these sheepdog white dreads hanging off them that were like, if you touch one, it would disintegrate.
	But you try to lie to yourself.
	So like to cut them off, you could use anything.
	You could use a human hair to cut them off.
	They were not on, like this pen, they're all gone.
	So I pulled it out and I was like, oh.
	I can't even remember if I got them off.
	I think I used a plastic knife or something.
	Why are your eyes watering?
	But it didn't smell bad because it's got dish, soapy dishwater going through it on a daily basis.
	Sure.
	Just a visual?
	Oh, God, it was horrible.
	What is that?
	Similar?
	No, no.
	This is grime.
	It's not even...
	Brian, you're not in the same universe.
	My sheepdog analogy was accurate.
	They were this big.
	Each hair was this big.
	Like three inches.
	A three-inch dread.
	So let's say like 60 three-inch dreads hanging off this filter thing.
	That's gross.
	So fucking gross.
	Okay.
	His name is Mike Fartz.
	That's pretty cool.
	That's Mike Farts.
	But I thought you said we had 17 to get through.
	Yeah, there's a couple more.
	Nope.
	Mike fuck.
	We got him.
	Jesse Lee Peterson is a right-wing social studies teacher surrounded by liberals.
	How do I make my class stays alpha?
	How do I make sure my class stays alpha?
	And amazing.
	Amazing.
	What does he teach?
	Well, this is what they do.
	When they're walking in the class single file, you're standing there by the door, right?
	Much easier to do this.
	So you shoulder check them.
	Every kid that comes in, that's how you head count.
	So you get the head count down, make sure they're here or absent or get their tendons, and then you check them, the motherfucker.
	Peace.
	And then you hit them with the shoulder real quick.
	And it'll keep them strong and amazing.
	Okay.
	You might get fired for that, Jesse.
	We got to wrap it up.
	We're way past.
	Get fired.
	Getting trumped.
	How did Gavin Riceballs mean he was a compound media groupie?
	Well, okay, well.
	Next.
	Hey, fuck, someone's please explain why Betty White, Angela Answer, and all are considered gay icons.
	Maybe it's a benefit that she's dead now.
	Yeah.
	You guys ever watched James Austin Johnson's Trump on SNL?
	Quite the upgrade from Alec the Ripper for SNN.
	No, he's good.
	The new Trump guy, Andrew.
	One of your recent final video segments was gas station working dealing with crazy customers.
	I was watching those videos a while back.
	Felt all familiar.
	One of her videos, she walks outside to scold a customer for pumping gas wrong.
	When you know what the gas station is.
	Oops.
	I'll find that out.
	What was a movie called Josh Gosh interviewed during the marathon that Josh made where he looked like a fag, and how did I watch it?
	Oh, good question.
	Ask him on his show.
	He accepts questions.
	Why do you remain in New York City despite being mega gay when you prefer?
	Yeah, I am on my way out of here, but two things.
	One, it takes a while to get your kids sorted with college and everything.
	And two, I was watching Amanda Millius on Tucker Carlson's Today show on Fox Nation.
	And she was like, her dad was a big redneck who made Dirty Harry and Apocalypse Now.
	And they would go hunting on the weekends and shoot guns.
	And she kept saying to her dad, why the fuck are we in LA?
	You hate these people.
	I hate these people.
	And he goes, there's something really healthy about being the most hated person in the room.
	You need to become comfortable with being the most hated person in the room.
	And then she went on to work for Trump in the White House.
	And then she went on to make this incredible documentary, The Plot Against the President.
	So there is something really good for your psyche to confront being the most hated person in the room and getting comfortable with it.
	Because once you can get comfortable with that, of walking into a party where no one wants you to be there and having a good time, you're pretty much invincible.
	So I think I'm teaching my kids kind of a good lesson where they're surviving parietum and making their own way.
	But yeah, we're on our way to Greenville.
	I'm just taking my time.
	Wow.
	Is this fucking $200?
	So there's two different ones.
	Perform a BJ on a turd in a condom.
	Please replace Ryan with Maddie for sakes, my boy.
	That guy's already come up.
	I've already read that.
	He's paid $100 for all these.
	Okay.
	Okay, footage from...
	That's a Sven Stoffel's Hill of Klein thing.
	But the links don't work, folks.
	Yeah, don't send us links, guys.
	All right, we have a guy on the record video.
	That guy already said that already.
	A guy on the line who's been here for a hot minute.
	Okay, let's talk to him.
	Hello, sir, Mr. Patient.
	Patient Zero.
	What's going on?
	More like Patient Mucho.
	And your number is 707.
	You guys hear me?
	Yes.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay.
	So you guys played that Matt Walsh clip, and he had that good point about that trans men are like, or trans women are appropriating womanhood.
	Yeah.
	They're in blackface.
	Yeah, that was a really good point.
	I have another hypothesis about why we're indulging these people.
	I want to know if you're in agreement, because I think that what's happening is there's a push to have like 50-50 representation type stuff.
	And since women aren't going to be great at being in the military and being cops and high-powered CEOs, that this is like they can tell themselves and feel good about it because they can have men who are appropriating women in these positions.
	And that's like, it's a type of therapeutic.
	That's really logical.
	That's a good theory.
	But the problem with your theory is you're imbuing all of this intelligence on these people and coming up with some grand scheme.
	I don't think there's a grand scheme.
	I don't think anyone knows what the fuck they're doing.
	All of these assholes are flying by the seat of their pants and making it up as they go along.
	So I'm trans.
	They like to have minorities as pets.
	Blacks don't make good pets.
	They're too rebellious and they don't do what they're told.
	So now they're trying to invent new minorities that are more easily healed.
	And that seems to be trans.
	I think the whole like trans sports thing, my gut is that the liberals went, oh, fuck, that kind of blew up.
	I didn't think that was going to be a thing.
	They're like mad scientists in a lab and shit is blowing up everywhere.
	If you were to see a liberal in their true self, they'd be a chemist covered in soot from something that blew up in their face.
	Because that's all they do is come up with cockamami ideas like trans and have it blow up in their face.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	We got to wrap it up here.
	Okay.
	Has everyone who called in got their shit?
	I mean, not everyone who called in.
	Everybody who super chatted in.
	That's correct.
	So there's been no super chat that didn't appear on the screen.
	That's correct.
	How much did we raise for Matt and John?
	Do you know?
	Let's see.
	Your last estimate was like a tenth of what the real one was.
	So I'm tempted to contact our hacker.
	Just texted.
	Wait, you're texting him?
	Yes.
	Okay, I'm texting him too.
	Let's bet.
	Maddie, what do you think?
	I think Gavin gets the correct number.
	You're betting on Gavin?
	You got a bet bet.
	I bet we raise Max and John...
	How much money did we raise for Max John?
	$1,125.
	Okay.
	That's a good guess.
	I'm going to go with $900.
	Okay.
	Yeah, that's closer to my guess.
	I'm going to lowball you.
	Price is right, Sal.
	I'm going to guess $600.
	Ooh, that's bad.
	I've been privy to some of the numbers, but I have not been adding them or card counting.
	Okay, well, that.
	So I guess...
	See, the problem with these charities, too, is people go, yeah, I fucking threw in $100 last week.
	What do you want me to do?
	Donate again?
	So I bet it's going to go down, down, down until we just stop doing it.
	True.
	I bet the total will be like $3,000, Which is fine.
	That's something.
	You know, it would be a good thing to like actionable things like you trying to put your balls in my face, dancing or whatever, something physical.
	That's more of a higher price thing.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Why do they jump to my genitalia in your face?
	Because somebody asked me to say, no, that's not true.
	But it's not not true.
	Not true.
	We should do all kinds of crazy shit.
	Like, I don't know, you fuck me, or you like, like, you suck my cock, or we spend like a weekend in the cat's ghost together alone.
	Just sucking and fucking all weekend, doing 69s and in a hot tub, and you like skull fuck me in the hot tub.
	Like, I don't know, like, random stupid shit.
	Just girl talk.
	But no, like, actionable things should be maybe like 25 or more.
	Now, you tell a story or something.
	That's not a $5 thing.
	They're going to make you dance for $5.
	Yeah, that's a $10.
	So, yeah, that's a good idea, Ryan.
	So, like, just to shout out, hey, man, fucking Rolling Stones Rock.
	That's $5.
	But if you want me to retell a story, that's $100.
	Whoa.
	Okay, well, I think we took that a little far.
	No.
	No.
	All right.
	Anticlimactic ending, but we're done here.
	Okay.
	I'm waiting on the...
	Oh, okay.
	You got a problem with that?
	Our tech guy is doing techie things, so we can't get an estimate.
	You know what?
	We'll find out.
	Well, we'll tell you tomorrow.
	Oh, no.
	Tomorrow is a pre-taped app.
	That's right.
	Monday's a pre-taped app.
	That's right.
	I'm in Orlando.
	We'll be meeting up with the Orlando Proud Boys chapter there.
	Introducing him to my drunken father, who I got to record him.
	You know what would be great if we had a regular gossip update with Jimmy McInnes.
	So we'd be like, what's going on with Rihanna?
	Who the fuck is Rihanna?
	I don't give a fuck.
	He's our gossip go-to guy.
	Yeah.
	And maybe I could send him the information earlier and be like, so here's the deal.
	Kanye's not happy about Pete Davidson.
	He moved in across the street.
	And I go, Jimmy, can you update us on Kanye?
	And he'd be like, apparently fucking, for fuck's sakes.
	I guess he's moved in across the street.
	No, that's not as funny.
	It's got to be spontaneous.
	And we just quiz him.
	Oh my God, a quiz.
	Imagine my dad with a pop culture quiz.
	No fucking clue.
	I remember Emily and I were talking about Jersey Shore and about Snookie.
	Oh, okay.
	And he was trying to get involved in our conversation.
	And I was like, the problem with Snookie is she's, is she even Italian?
	She looks like Albanian or something.
	She's not one of the crew.
	And my dad comes in.
	He goes, and Snookie is?
	That's my boy.
	Who is this man?
	Rob de Baline, my boy.
	All right, guys.
	Bye.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Thank you very much to Maddie for coming on the show.
	And no thanks to Ryan.
	Always up to Pasha.
	Oh.
	Purple.
	James in the back cause he's kidding with the hard.

▲