All Episodes
Previous Next
Jan. 11, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:28:37
S04E74 - RETARD NATION
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
My mum was making more than me.
I put the bridge, I put my bed, I pulled a yard because it was ringing.
Mama rapped the fucking magic.
Cause I was made as they can be.
Cause I was really in the streets.
I hit my face.
Oi.
That was P. Money and Whiney.
He's kind of the hot garage guy over there.
Grime, whatever the fuck they're calling it.
What you call it?
Garage?
What you call it, two-step?
Tell us what you call it.
I saw he has another song that Dizzy's in.
Dizzy Rascal Still Out and About.
These project kids.
This whole music scene started without.
It's not really rap.
It started with these.
They'd have their phones and they would do the ringtones.
And then they would rap over the ringtones.
I leave out this pussy is talking.
I'm stunned.
I ain't sitting there crying.
I'm kind of hating.
When people are talking like I hate my mums.
Yeah.
I don't hate my mums.
I love my mums.
Me, mum's rules.
My mum's just texted me just now.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh.
You want to hear what she's on about?
Oh.
Alright, mum.
What you got to say for yourself?
This will be good, right?
Mum's got something important to say.
You ready?
Ready.
Do you remember the time dad lost control of his car in England and it landed on a 13th century hedge?
He had to get it off with a crane.
What happened after that?
I was probably two.
But thank you for that.
Welcome to Get Off My Lawn, Tuesday Edition.
Very normal show.
We've got some fun stuff.
Monday's got a lot because we haven't seen you in a while.
Tuesday's a little looser, dude.
We've got a fun green screen.
It's a new Darman thing.
And usually we've done our research and we can help you learn stuff.
We're going to need your help, folks at home, baby monsters.
We're going to need your help because we can't tell if it's a joke or not.
It's so fucking bad that it's either a pretty good parody, a little lazy actually, or we're living in retard nation.
Maybe that's the name of the show, retardation.
Speaking of retard nation, it's sub-clown world.
So Devin Tracy's temporarily banned from Facebook, and I think it's because he touched me.
That's how toxic I am.
Don't stand next to me.
I actually kind of like it.
It's weird, too, because my least favorite thing is selfies, and now people are getting punished for selfies.
It may work out.
So I don't know what this is.
Is it DMs?
I haven't been on Facebook in 100 years.
He posts a picture of us hanging out.
Oh, yeah.
It's sorry.
It's Facebook telling him why he's banned.
So they go, well, you had two violations.
One was standing next to...
Oh, I think both the violations are the same.
Promoting censored.tv.
One, you had it with a banner, and that's Verboten.
And of course, showing my face was terrible because you show that you're not just a fan, you're a member of the company.
I mean, I say a member of the company in that he gets a percentage of what people sign up for him get.
Yeah, donate.
Pay for it.
Come on, brain.
And then the other one that fucked him was, wait, go up?
Go to Facebook just banned me?
So Facebook bans you for what you do on Instagram post?
Yeah, they're owned by Facebook.
Yeah, but that seems kind of weird.
Like, McDonald's owns Chipotle.
Are you banned from Chipotle if you're banned from McDonald's?
I got nipples too, Greg.
I own Chipotle, Greg.
Are you banned there?
So mentioning the word censored.tv is enough to ban me.
Censored.tv.
Unbelievable.
And ironic.
I'm kind of glad we had to change the name from free speech to censored because it makes more sense.
It's more censored.
It exposes their hypocrisy more.
I also meant to get to this yesterday.
We have this chick who's a baby monster who got real mad at me for saying that Britney Spears is nuts and she probably should be dominated by her dad.
She's since been liberated and looking pretty nuts.
She keeps showing her tits and ass, which, by the way, are fantastic.
She's 40, great age, especially for old guys like me.
Scroll down, Homo.
She's got cankles.
Now, cankles are not the best when someone's wearing socks, but when a...
Stop, go back up.
When a girl with cankos wears high heels, her kind of thick calves get accentuated, the ankles thin out, and you have a very pleasant experience.
I like it.
So cankos are worse than no cankos when it's just socks.
But when a girl puts on high heels, I'd say they're better than skinny legs.
keep going.
So, these are the pictures she's putting up now that she's free.
Lots of ass shots.
That's a little masculine, a little muscular, too.
That's the problem with these dancers, they get a little too taut.
Keep going.
Oh, that must be the hunk.
She's fucking proud of him.
And then there's this shot.
Look at that.
Like, that's a girl you're dating sending you a rude pick at work.
It's not really public consumption, is it?
Putting a fucking heart over your twat at 40?
Yeah, she's not that innocent.
What's the video got for us?
That's fine.
Everyone does that, right?
All rich women who are slim do that.
Locked on her compound.
She can't go out.
Is she trolling the world?
Because that's like, there's definitely like mental illness all over that.
I don't know what's going on anymore.
I mean, we're supposed to be a news show that tells you what's going on.
We're just as confused as you at this point.
Jump.
She also did this weird sketch where she was in her psychiatrist's office and she just starts going, fuckballs, fuckballs, fuckballs.
Looks like maybe dad was right.
Yeah.
And they go, he made her wear an IUD.
Yeah, well, she's 40 and insane and a whore.
So I'm not sure what we should do here.
Maybe she got raped when she was a kid in Hollywood.
Oh, turn it up.
More of that music.
Oh, I thought it was the psychiatrist thing.
See if you can find that.
Britney Spears lampoons her psychiatrist.
Wait, isn't that her sister?
Is that her?
We've been watching her for so long that you can see her different faces.
It's not right to put a kid through that.
It's just weird.
What kind of childhood is that?
Speaking of mentally ill, this girl has had her tits cut off.
Throw her in the tit cut pile.
We should put these all together.
That's really what we should be doing for year-end shows.
Hey, this has been the year of the cut-off tits.
And then we go and make a big pile of cut-off tits.
This is the year of the mentally ill LGBT teachers.
And then we show a big pile of those.
What do you want to do here?
Do you want to show the psychiatrist or do you want to...
I was looking for it.
I think I'm on.
I'm experiencing phantom nipple or somebody has my nipples and they're pinching them and they won't let go.
So if you have my nipples, just let go.
It's enough.
You can let go.
As you can see, my nipples have been removed from my body where they are.
Is she trying to be a dude?
Because she's coming across as a woman trying to be a dude.
Is there a phantom nipple or somebody has my nipples and they're pinching them and they won't let go?
So if you have my nipples, just let go.
It's enough.
You can let go.
And we've gone through this a million times, but like a third of my male friends have tits.
So why were they bothering you so much?
It's a pretty masculine thing.
Go to a water park.
Most American men have tits in this day and age.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Yeah, that's it.
Mox therapy experience.
Today, I'm here to just ask you a couple of questions.
Not here to trouble you.
I just want you to be completely relaxed.
You just relax.
I do the work.
I'm just going to ask you a question.
I'm here to help you.
Key number one.
So relax.
Totally relax.
Lay down.
Do what you have to do.
Just a couple of questions.
Don't worry about it.
Everything's going to be fine.
But the psychosis of what's going on in your head kind of goes into mine too.
So we need to just clear these blockages.
You know what I mean?
Do the clear way.
You know, so I can read you well, you read me well.
So I can do my work.
That's what it's about.
I need to do my work for you to help you succeed.
Yes, I'm feeling fine.
I had a great year.
I'm having great days.
I think we need to figure some things out.
She didn't say fuckballs, fuckballs.
Are you okay?
Have you ever been to a therapist?
Are you okay daily?
Don't think so.
Like, maybe as a kid, like the guidance counselor and then the school therapist.
Isn't it harder to talk lying on your back?
I think I did, but it was as a kid.
And I remember they asked me.
Oh, there it is.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Key number one.
I'm here to help you.
Balls.
Holy shit.
Fuck, balls.
Whoa, girl.
Fuck.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Holy shit.
Wow, fucking balls, Abe.
Yeah, holy shit, balls.
Whoa.
Yeah, uh, Dad, we were wrong.
Can you get back over here, please?
We were sorry.
Hilarious sketch.
This is titled.
He is such an amazing producer, and I was really, you know, honored that he wanted to work with me too.
Okay, I think we're all done here.
Let's go into the studio and do a few takes, okay?
Is that a guy with Down syndrome?
So much filth, so much garbage, which is what we're going to get to in a second.
That actually brings us to racism.
Yeah, I was just to wrap up what I was saying.
I would imagine lying in your back, it's hard to talk.
Like, if I'm going to talk about my life and problems and how we're going to solve all my problems, shouldn't you be like this?
Like, you should have a computer and a desk.
It should be this kind of setup.
Okay, here's the problem: we've got to get over here.
I have mental illness.
I hear voices.
When you hear the voices, what do they say?
What do they look like?
Did you make a new racism?
No, we said that this racism was good.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a black female.
What other different...
What else could I have done to piss you off?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
That's not racism, is it?
Tis.
Oh.
White people, liberals, hire blacks because they want a virtue signal and they've fallen for the systemic racism myth.
So they do it to correct the wrong.
Blacks hire blacks just because, fuck you.
It'd be like me hiring all proud boys.
Like, I'm not going to pretend proud boys are, well, actually, they are discriminated against.
But I would just want my friends, my kind of guys.
So there's a mass hiring going on, and it's all black.
And we predicted this.
If you recall, we said the mandate shit, what they're really trying to do is get the top brass at the FDMY and the NYPD to quit, and they can make it all black.
And here we go.
Eric Adams.
Now, he's not doing this to combat white supremacy.
But in case anyone questions him, yes, he is, because that works with whites.
Blacks are just like, whatever, dude, it's awesome.
Hence the fucking okay sign.
I'm in.
But he hires his brother to handle, I don't know, police whatever.
And he goes, he'll protect the American public against white supremacists.
The whole top of American law enforcement is turning black.
And it's starting to look like Rhodesia.
Now, if we follow that pattern, then are we headed to Zimbabwe?
And if we do, what are the white farmers are going to kill?
Are they up in Albany?
How are the upstate New York farmers going to do when they come for them?
Will they do better than the Rhodesian white farmers?
Like, look at this.
Brooklyn Borough President Taps Assemblywoman Diana Richardson.
She's a lunatic, by the way.
A total fucking maniacal bitch who got caught beating the shit out of her son.
And she just said it's corporal punishment.
That's what we do here.
It's a black thing.
You wouldn't understand.
So even within the world of Dems, she's a nightmare.
So we had de Blasio giving his wife $800 million to quote unquote thrive.
And now we have these people just hiring each other.
Just blackety blacks.
There's a thing that's happening on the new season of Survivor where it's just all the black people are linking together and, you know, only voting out the white people and stuff like that.
Yeah.
I mean, when it comes to the swimming challenges, is that really you want to spread out your talents?
We're going to win all the basketball challenges.
We do need Derek.
Show me some meme, and it was like when white people realized blacks can't swim, and it was all like rafts and houseboats and people jumping into the water.
Funny racist joke.
Building Atlantis, essentially.
Yeah.
Did you show all three pics I had there?
No, this is the first one here.
How Eric Adams picked a police commissioner.
And then look at the wall behind them.
That Asian woman is like, I think I'm next.
It's only a matter of time before they realize that I'm white.
Clapping.
Anyway, I brought that up to say it's not really pandering.
It was pandering when de Blasio did it.
This isn't pandering.
This is tribalism.
This is my crew, my boys.
Fuck you.
Whatever.
I mean, whites are the ones who elected them.
You asked for it, dummies.
I warned you.
But then I checked in on Australia and I thought, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Boom, boom.
Now, this is pandering beyond pandering.
Abbos, you're not supposed to say Abbos, Aboriginals speak slightly differently than the normal Australians.
They say the one at the end.
They sound like that whackpacker, Bigfoot, who goes, I just, I think that it's going to be raining.
It is.
He says that it is at the end.
That's really the only difference.
In other words, they speak shitty English.
But this translator is honestly as bad as if we had a New York translator that was like, I'm going to clean up the city.
Yo, this nigga's about to clean up the city and shit.
I'm not exaggerating.
Check it out.
Oh, they fell asleep.
Guys, wake up.
We're doing the show.
I'm the interpreter.
I'm going to talk La Creole, La Yibola.
What he's talking about.
This is an important message to keep Aboriginal people safe.
Sounds good.
And the message, a proper important one, to keep everybody safe one.
You can die from the corona.
He's going to give an important message one to make people safe in that one.
This is as bad as that BBC Creole Pidgin English thing where the headline was like, woman defecates and gets stuck in window.
She put the poopo in the window.
It's that ridiculous.
This is embarrassing.
What's the word?
Is it embarrassing or retarded?
I don't know what to say.
Or get really sick.
You're going to pass away from this corona.
You're going to pass away from this.
You're going to get really sick one.
It's time to get the corona needle to keep people and country strong.
But all the people and country proper strong one.
Keep all the people and country proper, strong one.
Like, isn't there an Aboriginal language?
Or is that just we're giving up on that?
Will protect kids, old people.
I'm going to be making important announcements, and my compatriot here is going to be speaking in shitty English for all you retards.
Well, the young coroner needle gonna keep Mel a safe one for all the kids and for all the men and women.
Many people around you.
The corona needle gonna be a safe one for all the kids and all the men and women.
One.
Have already had the needle.
Big more people all around the world.
Big more people all around the world.
That's not a different language.
And forgive me, but isn't it easier for them to understand him?
He had the needle.
Big more people all around the world been already getting about that needle.
It is free and it's safe.
De Jan that needle black rona, he free one and he safe one.
He free one.
He's a safe one.
This is brutal.
Like, aren't the intelligent Aboriginals outraged?
This is insulting to them.
But maybe there are none.
I mean, I saw a PSA in Australia that was an informative PSA begging Aboriginals not to sleep on the road because you will be run over.
You'd think word would get out when one person got run over.
Hey, one, don't sleep big man on the road, man.
One?
You get big run over, one.
Be real bad, you pass away.
You don't want to pass away, one.
To your clinic or medical center or go to roll up for WA on the internet.
What's an internet?
People are worrying, but talk like yours one clinic or go hospital place or go to get him some roll up.
Roll up, okay?
Langa internet.
So get your needle now.
Go to the hospital place.
Stay strong.
Thank you.
So you will get him that needle and stay proper strong one and thank you.
She's forcing herself to think of something he hadn't already said.
That was fantastic.
Talk about the fucking elephants in the room.
Wait, wait, slow down, Ryan, Ryan.
You got to show a little more of that and show the segue from him playing to them.
This is my culture.
What do you got?
Isn't it hilarious how there's an overlay that says Q ⁇ A and there's literally a queer in Aboriginals?
But isn't it funny how they inadvertently did the opposite of what they set out to do?
Like this is a juxtaposition of the incredibly elegant piano and then the garbage sticks.
Yes.
They're called the not food sticks because you cannot eat them.
They get splinters.
She coughed and then he thought she was laughing so he laughed.
That's not good.
It's not different.
Is that a different language?
So okay, so now this isn't even a different language because we've confirmed there's no different language.
Yeah, so they're just going...
This is a type of music I wrote after I drank a bottle of whiskey.
I have no recollection of writing this song.
I mean, like, if you were going to do that, and it's not good, so don't bother.
But, like, sample it?
Right.
Make it into a beat.
Yo, I'm the above dude.
Be money with Dizzy Rascal.
Or have them introduce it, and then you go into the piano.
But to stop the song.
To stop an element.
I mean, I'm not a fan of that mentally ill gay, but like, doodle, doodle, doo.
So you get a really good idea of what the piano is, and then hit it.
All right.
This was the allegiance, yeah.
That happened on Survivor.
That's what is happening in the NYPD.
This is Eric Adams' business plan.
You're seeing Eric Adams' business plan right now.
It's not pandering, it's tribalism.
That Abbo thing you just saw was pandering.
Do you watch this show?
No.
My wife loves it.
Plays so well.
She's a very good player.
She freaks out so easily.
She's not black.
Her name has not even been in the mix.
You're not going to play me, right?
I'm not playing you, Shan.
Shan, you're getting a little like...
You're not voting me tonight.
So you're not going to use your advantage.
That'd be dumb if I did.
So can you leave it here?
He's Blake from Workaholics.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm taking you with me, though.
Unless you're not taking me.
I am.
So then why?
They should always bring your advantages to tribal, though.
I don't want to be that dummy who leaves their advantage back at camp.
Yeah, so they're all just like, you know, they're just in with the other blacks.
And then they're all like, I want to do tribalism because blacks are my people, but I don't trust blacks.
Yeah, man.
Wait, fans are calling the show what?
Racist.
The allegiance racist.
Okay, speaking of racism, I think it's time for the green screen.
And I need your help here.
This is like when there's a game show and you can ask the audience.
I'm asking the audience for help.
This can't be real.
But I'm not lazy.
I did all the research I could.
I came to a bunch of dead ends.
There's no information.
And when you read the comments, No one is like million dollar extreme, does it again?
Holy fuck, Sam is funny.
It's all like, I hope that cop loses her job.
What?
All right, check it out.
Come on, everybody!
Let's not start that again.
Let's start with the whip woman.
First of all, we don't have to start the video.
What the fuck?
So she's a racist Karen, and her character is based on two women.
One woman was drunk in Williamsburg near the turkey's nest there off of Bedford at McCarran Park.
And there was two black people there, and she mumbled something very offensive, something racist.
She said, you all need to go back to your hood.
Now, I don't know what preempted it.
Maybe they said, hey, Karen, or hey, white bitch, or maybe she just mumbled something drunk.
It's New York City.
If you knew the kind of insults we all get from everyone on a minutely basis, cracker this, cracker that.
I don't give a shit.
It's New York.
You get, it's a very rude city.
Like, if you just wave out the window.
I just saw some video.
Some woman was here visiting and she just got married and she leans out the window of her hotel and she goes, I'm getting married.
And like three people go, shut the fuck up, bitch.
So that's the way it is.
So I forgive the woman in the park for saying, go back to your hood, because if she's persecuted for that, then everyone black, including the guy she was talking to, they have to be persecuted when they say things out of line.
And in that case, the entire city of New York would be incarcerated tonight.
Uh-oh, I got the Omnicron.
So that one was ridiculous.
And then the other one was in Central Park.
Meanwhile, there's a murder a day in New York here.
Asians getting thrown around like rag dolls, but the media is totally focused on these two incidents.
And the other one was, crazy bitch, she's a dog, she's a fur mom.
She's in the dog park and in Central Park, or maybe it's not the dog park.
And she says to this guy who's a bird watcher, he wants you to put her dog on a leash.
Maybe it's scaring the birds or something.
And he says, you know, something like, I have dog food.
You're not going to like what I do to your dog.
Something like that.
It was sort of a passive-aggressive threat saying, I deal with people's dogs all the time.
I have dog food.
If you don't move your dog or eat your dog in a leash, you're not going to like what I have planned because it's going to hurt your dog.
So he inadvertently threatened her dog.
I don't care about either of these people, by the way.
Same with the previous story.
Fuck them all.
But he was really happy.
In both cases, the black guy was super excited because they go, yes, I can play the victim.
I have an example of racism and I have it on film.
That was the biggie.
I'm recording it.
And now I can be like, yeah, it was fucking horrible, dude.
It was like roots.
And he said, I'm not some piece of trash, you know, and he got to talk about how he's actually a birdwatcher.
Look, I'm on TV.
Look at me.
Chris Cooper's on TV.
That's the guy I was just talking about.
And her big dumb mistake was she said, I'm here.
And she said, I'm with a black man.
She said.
So in both cases, they destroyed these women's lives.
They're totally unemployable, fucked forever because they were portrayed like this with a whip.
Did she?
Which one?
The Central Park woman?
Yeah, didn't she go to a re-education, rehabilitation camp?
So she's good now.
No, I guarantee you she's still unemployable, but now she's capitulated in that camp got 40 grand.
Guarantee that camp got 40 grand.
Unbelievable.
Psychoeducation.
How is this different from Stalinist Russia?
What the fuck is going on?
It was a moving experience, and Ms. Cooper learned a lot in their sessions together, the prosecutor said.
Prosecutor.
What was her crime?
Describing the race of a perp that she felt threatened by?
Hey, ladies, if you feel threatened by a black man, don't call the cops.
Just get raped or shot.
It's not worth it.
So this would be good satire because this is the way these women are portrayed.
Like the movie Karen, where they have her like, I don't want no Negroes in my neighborhood.
Has anyone come across a woman like this?
I've come across a lot of liberal Karens who don't want Trump supporters in their neighborhood.
Been there, done that.
I do that every day.
Last night, I was walking my dog and some fucking psycho was petrified.
You should have seen him.
He looked at me like four times and ran off with his dog.
Like I was, because we were alone at night.
I'm with my faggy dog too.
I'm not with a German shepherd.
Hello.
Looks like you're all alone with Michael Myers.
Anyway, this woman doesn't exist.
And those two examples I just gave you are proof she doesn't exist because they were ridiculous, irrelevant incidents.
And the women were crucified.
So yeah, this would be good parody.
But I don't think it is, dude.
I think someone saw Dar Man makes a lot of money and they just made super low IQ versions of his already low IQ videos.
That's what I'm leaning towards.
Anyway, you might disagree after you see this opening scene.
What's that mean?
What did I tell you criminals about coming back to my neighborhood?
Oh, no, Roy, let's just get out of here.
No, Vince.
I won't let her ruin our fun.
Listen, lady, we aren't breaking any laws by having fun here at the park.
I won't let you do this anymore.
Are you talking back to me, boy?
I guess you forgot who used to own your kind, and I'm about to remind you of that right now.
That hurt!
Ouch!
You know what I saw once?
Don't you touch him?
I saw someone.
They were practicing for a cowboy movie, the props department, and they were using whips.
And a black male Karen showed up and told them how inappropriate that is because they used to, you know, whip slaves 400 years ago.
And it reminds him of that.
So you should never have whips in that area.
So I've seen the opposite of this, but the absurdity of imagining that a woman, even if she was carrying a whip quietly in a black neighborhood or around blacks, she could get fucking the shit beaten out of her.
Like it's a big deal.
And the fact that they would just sit there when they saw her with a whip going, oh shit.
Here we go again.
Whip central.
I will knock your teeth out.
Roy, hang on.
I'll get some help.
So wait a minute.
And make this full screen, dude.
It's a green screen.
I could just do this at the desk.
She just started whipping him.
Can you imagine?
Her entire family would have to be put in a rocket ship and sent to outer space.
She just shows up with a whip and starts whipping a dude.
And his perfectly fit young black friend makes a movie and then runs away?
What planet is this on?
Put it on me.
Sorry, dude, you're no fun to play basketball with.
Here we go.
All right, all right.
That was a lucky shot.
Man, if I had legs, I'd still score on you.
I got skills, son.
Don't play me.
Play my bag, Kobe.
Hey, by the way, man, I'm...
So his dad just died in a car accident, like two days ago.
Or let's say a month ago.
This is how he reacts.
Yeah, I heard about the car accident in the news.
Hey, man, it's okay.
I know I'm in a wheelchair now, and I won't be able to live my dream of playing in the NBA, but at least me and my mom are still alive.
I'm just grateful for that.
Yeah.
Guy's got a great attitude.
I hope I'm not happy when my dad dies.
You can keep trying.
Ready?
He's going to dunk on you, dude.
You're in a wheelchair.
Maybe that friend killed that guy's dad so they could both be kids of a single parent.
Great theory.
Sis.
All right, all right, all right.
Almost gotta get their feet worked there.
I'm not quite Kobe.
I'm sorry.
I'm practicing.
I'm practicing every day.
Listen, I'd show you how the feet are supposed to go.
Is that a cripple joke?
Yes, that was a crippled joke.
The ad lived is.
Oh, that's her there.
She just showed up.
Folks, I can't.
Mother.
Look at these hood rats impesting my neighborhood.
I wish they all just went away.
That way we could keep it pure like the good old days.
What good old days?
The 1900s?
You weren't around in the good old days.
There are no criminals here.
You know that loitering is illegal, right?
Not that your kind of people like to follow the rules, but as long as I'm here, I'm going to make sure that this neighborhood is safe.
Why are you being so rude, lady?
Yeah.
We're not criminals.
We're people just like you.
We live here.
Wait, criminals aren't people?
You do not live here.
If I steal a pack of gum, I've lost all my humanity.
You filthy rat.
Now give me that ball.
Wouldn't a woman at this level of racist have tossed out an N-word by now?
You do not live here.
Like, she wants it to go back to the plantation south.
She carries around a whip.
I think we're missing some N's.
Rat?
Rat.
Now give me that ball and get out of my neighborhood.
Ma'am, we're not giving you her ball.
That's stealing.
It's our ball.
You could just turn down the volume and let it keep rolling, but there's something weird going on here.
Let's say this is real.
And for a lot of the people in the comments, it is real.
I think it's a weird fantasy both blacks and whites have where they want this to be the average American.
We've seen how excited they get when there's like a noose at NASCAR or anything.
Everyone loves it.
Why do they want it to be so bad?
Is it black failure, white guild that explains away the fact that blacks are doing badly if it's all our fault or white people's fault?
I don't get why there's this lust to prove racism.
And these are successful.
This has like 2.4 million views.
And I don't think a lot of people take it as a joke.
Oh, she's got a fucking knife.
The channel is called Generation Hope 2.
Yeah.
There's not much hope.
Well, what they're doing is they're showing people how to behave.
And you shouldn't do what this woman's doing.
Get out!
Get out!
Okay, okay.
We're scared of white women.
Get out!
Get out!
Run, run!
Stay out!
That's what I thought.
I hope I never see those thugs running around my neighborhood again.
You won't see one of them running ever again.
I'm scared of her.
I don't want to play basketball in her neighborhood.
There's this crazy racist woman who stabs, who murders basketballs.
Mellow piano music.
Anyway, we know, like, this is going to keep going and going.
Just scroll ahead here.
What's wrong?
Standing up for yourself while being scared.
Oh my god.
Acting is basketball?
Yes, I did.
What ages?
Yeah, is he playing an eight-year-old?
But mom, what about my legs?
Remember what we talked about.
Don't live in fear, honey.
She's gonna get her son whipped.
Okay, so we made it to the intro.
What did I tell you criminals about coming back to my neighborhood?
Oh, no, Roy, let's just get out of here.
No, Vince.
We know where this goes, right, folks?
Not to be afraid of evil people like you.
And where's your mama now, huh?
I'm calling Her so let's have a little fun whoa his mama is right here.
Duna!
It's Batmama.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Vince, call the cops and tell them that there's a lunatic at the park going around whipping people.
Yes.
Hi, there's a lunatic at the park going around whipping people.
Luckily, Wonder Weaven showed up.
123 Main Street.
Baby, are you okay?
Yes, mom.
She hit me a few times, but I didn't let her break my spirit or scare me away.
Just like you told me to do.
Good.
I'm glad you didn't let evil win.
Your father would be so proud.
That thing has a father?
Shut it.
I'm not through with you yet.
I'm going to make sure you go to jail for a long time.
Who do you think they're going to believe, huh?
A criminal or an innocent white woman?
Well, judging by the two Karens I introd this bit with, she's not going to do well.
Old, the white woman's fucked.
Come on.
Crazy.
Where are you taking her?
To the cop pickup spot?
Okay, so one more.
I just got to do one more because I know what you're thinking.
This is pretty funny.
Look at her weird piss eyes.
Find the one with the cops with the hot dogs.
Because we'll just show the intro, but it's going to leave you just even more confused than I am.
I was going to say just as confused as me.
You're going to be more confused after you see this.
How could this possibly be real?
Go to the beginning of this.
Y'all are both under arrest.
Okay, stop, stop.
Even the thumbnail for this, it's like cops arrest a black family.
And then you've got Melissa McCarthy here in triple XL uniform.
And what is this Keystone cops cop uniform?
It's like Park Rangers from the 1920s.
Are they zoo cops?
They make a monkey reference shortly, so maybe they are.
But like, could her uniform fit worse?
Hot dogs.
What?
We didn't steal anything.
Go back, go back, go back.
You have to hear the first line.
I've heard enough.
Officer Cletus, arrest that kid.
Cletus.
I'll handle this woman.
You have under arrest.
That's what you get for stealing, monkey boy.
See?
Like, what?
What are you talking about?
You are under arrest.
If you don't stop, I will use lethal force.
Get out.
You're down on your knees, hot dog thief.
Today's meeting sponsored by Warfare.
We looked at this.
This is a real video game.
This is a real sponsor.
So what the fuck is going on?
Have we reached the very bottom of the barrel of low IQ entertainment?
And there's people who actually watch this.
I mean, if you look at the comments, they say things like, I hope that cop loses his job.
That's a bad guy.
Retard nation, boys.
Retard nation.
Now, Ryan, we brought up that thing before the show.
Yes.
Because we wanted to try to figure it out.
We don't like being in the dark.
Our job here is to inform you.
But after that little break, what are you thinking now?
It's been a few hours since we first saw that.
I think it's like Soros funded or something, just to kind of drum up racial tensions.
So you think it's real?
Yeah, but the thing is the acting is bad on purpose, and it's supposed to be for kids to watch it.
I don't know why they always make educational videos like corny, but that's what they're doing.
Or it's somebody with a really good sense of humor that is banking on it.
So you have no answer, basically.
I'm leaning more towards it's real.
Family-friendly.
Like they're going through the Dharman.
They see how successful Darman is.
So it's Dharman for like six-year-olds.
It's a Dharman copycat.
And there's another one, too, that we had found.
It's clearly a Dharman copycat.
Thanks for that revelation.
Jesus, you're really good at it.
But it's real.
Solving crimes.
It's real, but it's because they're trying to capitalize off Dharman.
Yeah, I guess.
Because they're low budget.
They're no budget.
That's the other thing with a joke.
Like, you don't spend that kind of money on a joke.
And they have the makeup guy from the...
My son's on the cover of a magazine?
Don't tell me you're deaf too, you stupid handicapped person.
More monkeys.
I said, room, now.
Look here, you dumb little monkey.
There are rules in this society.
And one of them is that stupid people like you have to do what smart people like me tell them to do.
Oh, yeah, this is kind of like the show.
You're actually wearing the same shirt as you.
Oh, hi, Devin.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Zegman.
How are you doing today?
Hi, I'm Justin Trudeau.
I'm the Prime Minister of Canada.
All right, that's enough for that.
By the way, speaking of Karen's, remember this bagel Karen?
Well, she's a big fan of the show, and she wants to come on the show.
Do you remember?
What did you call her?
Well, this is her reacting to the bagel Karen incident.
Do you remember this?
No idea what you're talking about.
Bagel Karen.
Here we go.
She DMed me.
She said she's a big fan.
Wants to come on the show.
She said you're her biggest crush, even.
Black News Only?
Okay, that's good.
A New York woman used a racial slur against a young man after she refused to wear a mask in the store.
Kenneth Moten, who spoke with her.
And he joins us now with more.
Good morning, Kenneth.
Who's that guy?
Yeah, so this idea that these women get away with that kind of stuff is the direct opposite of the truth.
They get destroyed.
So the woman who used those racial epithets, she's a fan?
Yes.
She has mixed-race kids, though, so she could say it.
Okay.
But I think her kids and her were threatened, and it'd be interesting to see what she went through.
Maybe she can go through a rehab camp and not be racist anymore.
Yeah, okay.
We really do attract the right person, don't we?
Yeah.
Let's do a bit of my pet Biden.
I haven't done him in a while.
Biden.
On him I can depend.
Biden.
President.
He's big and loose.
Sleepy.
But a friendly monster too.
My pet.
Biden.
Wait, what?
That doesn't rhyme.
Now I want to see that big o-woman's rant.
Because I seem to remember it being pretty indefensible.
Like you fucking ends.
I remember this one.
It's not like taking out a context.
I remember watching going, ooh, that one's bad.
That's a tough one to get behind.
Let's see.
Well, we can shame her.
We can bring her on and say, that was bad.
Fuck you, bitch.
Yeah.
See the initial video and her subsequent posts below.
Okay.
Oh.
Yeah, it's obviously going to be gone.
You're not going to find it on Instagram.
There's a full article about it, and they didn't add it.
And what you're going to see is a lot of these.
You might see it on people discussing it.
Yeah, the discussing.
Oh, I remember hearing her.
Was that the one where she said, look, you already asked me that question.
I think it's time we all heal as a community or something.
Hopefully not.
He's not happy.
Yeah, that guy never says bitch.
So, is it the N-word?
Bitch-ass nigger, she said, with a hard R. Oh.
If you're going to use the slang, you could say bitch-ass nigga.
I'd be like, look, clearly my kids are black.
I was with a black man.
Maybe hanging around with black dudes is making her too comfortable with the word.
I did notice that at Proud Boys meetups, they'd be like, yeah, fucking lots of niggas are like that.
I'd be like, dude, dude, dude.
And then I'd find out he has a black wife and black kids.
And it was like, I can say whatever I want.
Yeah.
Well, then don't.
Because we're going to get kicked out of this bar.
2.5.
This was one of my favorite Bidenisms.
It's not quite worth a shirt.
It's too much talky.
But what the fuck is he talking about here?
Sitting in my kitchen yesterday in the sunroom off the kitchen.
Okay.
And my wife was there with her sister and a good friend named Mary Ann.
Gotcha.
And she was saying, do you realize it's over $5 for a pound of hamburger meat?
$5?
Well, this is partly, you know, the pound of beef today costs $5 compared to less than $4 before the pandemic.
But I was sitting in my...
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
$5 compared to $4 less than...
Yeah.
That's bad, Joe.
That's not normal for something, for a pound of hamburger meat to go from $3.60 to $5 in just like a year, year and a half.
I think it's $7, by the way.
What is $7?
It's more around $7.99 a pound.
Well, you're in New York City.
It's probably in Delaware.
But yeah, I would avoid talking about inflation and the cost of food.
That's one of the most embarrassing things about your presidency.
And it's what your detractors consistently use to ridicule you.
And he didn't even say something like, the reason it's gone up is because the meat, big meat, is purposely taking advantage of the pandemic and raising the prices.
It's actually cheaper for them to produce now.
Something like that.
That's how you talk when you're defending yourself.
You don't choose the other side's argument and go, can you believe this shit?
We got this president.
Someone should write a letter to the president.
Joe, that's you.
What?
I was a vice principal under Barack Toboggan.
No, you're the president now.
President of what?
Basically the world.
I mean, it's America, but it's the strongest nation in the world.
So you're president of the world.
Can you fucking believe that?
This is the president of the world.
Oh, there he is.
Hey.
I swear to God, I smelt shit when I saw you.
You know, beef is expensive out there, but you get yourself a box of raisinettes.
They got protein in the raisinettes.
They're five cents a barrel.
Not a barrel, like a bag.
That's a good point.
So we should just switch to vegetarian diets.
You got some sort of lens reset tab on your face.
What the.
Distracting.
I read this article in the Post today.
Oh, we keep forgetting.
Massive fire up the street.
We're down at the bottom of the South Bronx, but up on 188?
Massive fire, tons of people dead.
I think there was a huge GoFundMe for the victim survivors, which was pretty nice, but it was pretty bad.
Pretty horrific.
Um.
Yeah, there it is.
Yeesh.
How many died?
I think nine children killed among the dead.
Okay, dismissed.
87 people to die among the flam amid the flames.
What?
Angry over a woman.
He said, okay, wait.
Spurned.
You're looking at 1990 again.
Okay.
But it doesn't tell you 15 years ago.
Well, maybe they're still figuring it out.
I mean, it was in today's post.
Yeah, what you're looking at, honey, is a list of all the worst catastrophes and fires in Bronx's history.
Okay.
Wait, killed 19 people.
There we go.
Yeah.
Deadliest in 32 years.
Shit.
Wow.
So, yeah, that's my pet Biden and his hamburger meat.
And here I'm going to be nice for a change.
Here he is being legitimate, amicable, likable, charming.
I don't really hate this guy.
Been able to do...
Pretty cute little laugh.
It does look stupid.
Nice and honest.
If he was to acknowledge every time anything he did looks stupid.
You know what that might be?
This is like the Biden we got during the debates where he was on.
My theory is they give him like two days of intense rest where he has a bath.
Jill probably blows him if he even wants that at this age.
He has ice cream.
He reads a Bino comic book.
And he watches a nice movie, nice black and white cowboy shows from the 50s.
And then after two days, they inject vitamin B and Adderall.
No, maybe they inject him with vitamin B. They give him a tiny, not a whole Adderall, but just like a quarter pill.
And for seven hours, he's fucking on.
And then he needs three days to recover.
So when you see him avoiding the press, going into the helicopter and stuff, that's during the time where he's not prepped.
So you can get full quality adult mail out of him.
It just takes five days, two days in the front, three in the back, to give you seven hours.
That's my theory.
What do you think?
Pretty dang good.
Yeah, the vitamin B is probably a huge boost.
Vitamin B is not a huge boost at all, Ryan.
What?
No, it makes you feel a little better.
We used to do it when we were shooting How to Be a Man, we did it to replace Coke because it looks like Coke.
So you'd just be very alert.
It's like coffee.
But thank you for your contribution to the show.
Before we get to the mailbag, let's do some Antifa.
You fucking white man!
You've never experienced one like me in your entire party life, neither of them!
Look at these fucking horrible, weak losers.
Fuck you, dad.
So bad news.
Jason Charter, remember him?
Very weird little man.
He accosted Jack Bisobic.
He accosted some other baby monster who wrote in about it, and the police did nothing.
He was an integral part of tearing down a statue.
I think it was Jackson.
Who's that Confederate guy?
Grant.
He's got really, really weird dark eyes.
Like, it must be hemophilia.
He looks like he's dying.
He walks with a cane.
He's quite sick.
And I think he might have some sort of latent, like, masochistic tendency where he wants to get beat up.
Because he was really antagonistic with me, but not in a way where, like, I was antagonistic with Jared Holton and Will Summer and Zachary, what's his name?
Pizzatello.
Because I think they're fucking losers.
But I'm not trying to get them to fight me.
I'm all like, look at that fucking dork.
He pencil legs.
You're doing security for Jared now?
That kind of high school talk, you know?
Not like, hey, Zach.
He's more like almost perverted with his come-ons.
And I saw him at, sorry, I'm having a bit of trouble with the old asthma today.
I saw him at CPAC and he kept going, hey, Gavin, why don't you do some more cocaine?
Because at the previous night, I was doing fake, pretending to do lines of Coke to do the talk.
It was a pretty obvious joke.
But it went over his head, and he thought it was some sort of scoop.
Dude, I did the fake cocaine on a podium in front of all the cameras.
So what's the scoop here?
But anyway, he kept getting sort of close to me, like in my personal space.
And again, he's on a cane.
He's a cripple and he's tiny.
Crippled midget with hemophilia eyes.
So I just sort of got close to him.
I said, don't fuck with me.
You're going to regret it.
Like saying, we can fight.
And I may have grabbed his jacket or something.
I don't even think I did.
Yeah, there it was.
Look at his ghost face.
He's from the Adams family.
This was on my screen.
Oh, my God.
I had no idea.
Oh, there's Jacob.
How you know?
How are you going?
So there's the whole thing.
Anyway.
Oh, I know you.
How do you know?
What's up, man?
You know this guy.
Tell us about a book you did yesterday.
How did you point out about that?
This was on my screen.
Oh, my God.
I had no idea.
Oh, there's Jacob.
Does he really...
Now that's the dumpster.
It was on live stream, dummy.
Everyone saw it.
What?
Yeah.
I didn't notice the camera there.
Anyway, that's boring.
But I can't remember what I did, but it was just sort of like, I'm not backing down.
I'm going to hurt you if you keep fucking with me anymore.
And when I say fucking with me, I don't mean teasing me.
I mean like he was getting in my Space.
Anyway, normal stuff you do at a bar.
He runs and gets security.
He had a pass, by the way.
He had a CPAC pass.
He runs and gets security, and they kick me out of the whole building for the whole time.
That's what pussies we are on the right.
Antifa comes to our conventions.
This guy is not loosely associated with Antifa.
He's Antifa.
And we take their side of the argument.
Okay.
Just don't get mad at us, radical leftists.
But yeah, so for all that shit, he got house arrest.
21.
This report has been updated to David Bay Indeed of bombs.
No, that's not it, shithead.
21.
Yeah, Jason Charter was sentenced to jail.
No, I can't read that.
He was sentenced to no jail time in line with the government's recommendation.
He's sentenced to 60 days of home detention.
Oh, I'm sure a cripple that everyone hates is going to be crushed that he can't go out to all the cool parties.
Has to pay $2,600 in restitution and seek mental health treatment.
He was involved in the riots to destroy and damage statues in D.C., pleaded guilty, but was recommended no jail time by prosecutors.
Probably because he's handicapped, right?
Robert E. Lee, was that the statue?
I said Ulysses S. Grant.
He was the North dude.
Right.
I think it was that statue.
But go down?
Oh, God.
Look at him.
Fuck.
You're okay, sir?
What happened today?
Not what I expected, to be completely honest.
I expected to walk out of there with probation, which seemed consistent with other people who.
Okay, boring.
Stop giving him too much fucking airtime.
His responses were pretty funny.
They were like, this is not about rehabilitation.
Our justice system is about punishment.
Punishment?
You get to binge watch Netflix for two months like we've all had to do?
So I was excited for a while that Antifa was getting arrested, but it doesn't look like they're getting any kind of sentencing.
Go to 2-0.
They got this Antifa bomber in Florida.
This report has been updated with new information.
The FBI and Tampa PD bomb squad responded and determined the Antifa subject indeed had bombs.
Further detectives recognized and noted the Antifa propaganda in his possession.
Nobody else noticed that.
By the way, I was looking at this Proud Boys thing before the show, and I was remembering how Chinese Americans were donating.
Because Chinese Americans hate communism, and they're scared of BLM and Antifa.
So they gave $80,000 to, I think it was Long Island Proud Boys or something.
And then you look at the articles, and they say that Chinese Americans were donating substantial amounts of money to Proud Boys shortly before January 6th.
So they make it look like it's funding to riot at the insurrection.
It's insurrection funding.
There's barely any Proud Boys there.
So as a Chinese American, I'd be really upset with my purchase.
You guys didn't do shit.
You weren't there.
But go to 2-0.
He is, like, click on the bottom one.
Yeah.
So none of the articles mention that he's an Antifa member.
You get it from Postmillennial, where Andy No is the editor at large.
But all the others, they just, they kind of imply it's a Trump dude.
Because that's what the journalists do now.
They are activists.
They're propagandists.
He's Kylo Ren.
And then 2-2.
I remember this rally.
I remember hearing them plan this.
And this was the one that was down a long bridge.
So there's only one way you can get to this little island in Seattle, I believe, or Portland.
And that way Antifa couldn't come because they'd be cornered there.
In that sense, I guess it was a trap.
But the plan was to march over the bridge with a giant banner that said, boneless wings.
There's no such thing as boneless wings.
They're just nuggets.
Yep.
And I was like, that's a fucking awesome idea.
I hope you guys do that.
And of course, it never happens.
Antifa are telling comrades to destroy evidence and communications if they participate in the riot slash shooting in Portland last August.
A prowl boy was recently arrested, and Antifa fear they're next.
They urge comrades to report to their cell, ASAP, if contacted.
Report it to their cell?
Burned your block.
According to the previously attached article, was interesting in six people.
Here's an important checklist if you're an Antifa.
Don't betray your friends.
Don't keep names and addresses.
Don't keep incriminating documents.
Don't take any unnecessary risks.
Don't avoid action because of the associated risks.
That's not really the time to be saying that, right?
After the fact.
Don't boast of what you have done or plan to do.
All very helpful tips.
So I guess the problem...
I get confused.
There was one in Portland where they ended up chasing them away, the one where the press said they flipped over an ambulance.
No, they flipped over an Antifa van that used to be an ambulance and was now being used to carry weapons.
And they beat up that radical Antifa photojournalist.
And then at the end of that, they're in downtown Portland.
There was Schotzigoff.
I think it was a right-winger.
I don't know if he was a Proud Boy.
I'm going to start getting involved in suing these people.
I've had enough.
So like that study that came out, did I talk about this?
Stamford.
Did I show you this?
Doesn't sound familiar so far.
Proud Boy Study.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
And it's all about all the murders we've done.
And it lists like the members as 3.6 of them are female.
Like right there, you go, I'm suing you.
Fuck you.
You're full of shit.
It was on my getter, actually.
And like these ridiculous studies get sent to government agencies and they end up in court.
And so they end up helping sentence these random patriots as being part of an evil white supremacist murder gang.
So it's time to go to the eye of the storm.
I went to the SPLC.
It's still sitting on the judge's lap.
I don't see that moving at any time.
I said to Ron, Isn't there like a statute of limitations in reverse where you have to make the judge move forward?
He goes, No.
It could be 100 years.
He goes, I've seen judges and people involved in the case die of old age waiting for a case.
Look at Mercedes Carrera.
She's been in jail for three years now waiting for a trial.
Yeah, there it is.
Click on it.
Now, again, it's one thing to say, I think Ryan's a pedophile, but to do a study with all kinds of charts proving he's a pedophile is much easier to litigate.
Wait, let me see that.
They romanticize, deny race ideology.
The organization deeply rooted in white nationalism and misogyny.
Prove that.
Proud Boys members, some of them have allegedly carried out ideologically motivated crimes, okay, allegedly.
This number includes 54 Proud Boys defendants who participated in the Capitol breach.
Proud Boys defendants have come from 25 states, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Wait, there's like a...
Go down.
There's a weird thing about murder here.
Proud Boys defendants plotted eight premeditated violent attacks, two of which were successful.
16 individuals were involved in spontaneous violence.
At least six people have been killed or injured in Proud Boys-related attacks.
Six people have been killed.
That's the doozy right there.
Wouldn't that also count guys like Jay that were shot too?
Because they would lump that in.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a Proud Boys-related...
He was walking with a Proud Boy when he was murdered.
Individuals involved in spontaneous...
I could be a victim.
Yeah, but the judge, I mean, the lawyer can see through that bullshit.
And if you say, like, say, I did a talk and I was stabbed, right?
And you said Gavin McInnes went to do a talk and a stabbing ensued.
That's technically correct, but it's clear what the writer is trying to do.
And the reader is going to see that as, I get people stabbed, which isn't true.
So you can fix that.
All right.
Let's jump over to the mailbag.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Doodle.
We still have not let him touch it for the record.
If anybody's looking for an update, we don't even know who that is.
No.
I don't know who to let touch.
What?
I don't even know if I have a penis.
Well, I do know that I have a penis.
Oh, check this out.
Hi, Gavin and Ryan.
Remember that retarded BBC Pidgin English news site, which was 100% real?
Well, the Western Australian government just released this video.
Thank you.
It's like they don't watch the show.
I guess he's not watching the show live.
I wonder if there's people out there that are like, dude, by the time that they sent that, they wouldn't have known because it's pre-recorded.
I saw one comment that goes, that New Year's Eve show, I'm guessing that it was pre-recorded.
What the fuck?
I had the newspaper with me, and we had the Miley Cyrus countdown.
That's crazy.
Maybe they added it.
No, dude.
Wrong.
How did I do the Pete Davidson thing?
By the way, we missed her wardrobe malfunction.
I couldn't look it up online.
I couldn't find it.
I couldn't find it either.
I guess she just held her top.
Boring.
Wow.
I'm so horny.
Meanwhile, her tits and pussy lips are all over the internet.
I've never seen her pussy.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I think she did some pussy work.
You know what this guy Jackson at the bar said to me the other day?
He goes, and he dressed me specifically.
He goes, Gavin, do you know the difference between morals and ethics?
This is like a retired post office worker.
And I go, no, aren't they both like some sort of code of goodness that is related, I guess, to the Bible and is about, you know, the basics of being a noble and reliable human?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he's like, no, morals is when you know you shouldn't cheat on your wife.
Ethics is when you don't cheat on your wife.
Or maybe I got those reversed.
And I was like, that sounds like horseshit.
They're both the same.
Whatever.
And he goes, do you understand what I mean?
Like, did you catch me fucking some chick?
What are you talking about?
I think it, and it took me a while.
And I think it's because I've said things like I just said.
Like, I'd like to see her pussy lips.
Oh, I see.
Or he was talking about some prostitute that was hot that used to be in that neighborhood in the 90s.
And I was like, oh, I'd like to fuck her.
Like that kind of talk?
I think he's like, you may not go in a time machine and fuck that prostitute from the 90s.
Anyway, don't look that up.
Dear G Queen and Fag Daddy, I was catching up on Miss Shows.
I noticed you and Maddie were discussing ghosts.
It reminded me of this bit.
It reminded me of this bit from a Ricky Gervais show.
I've always thought when people speak of their belief in ghosts.
You know, when they see ghosts in old castles and stuff, they've had their head cut off because they've been optimal good, like years ago.
But they're carrying it around, Norman, under their arm.
That's what I'm saying.
It hasn't reattached itself.
So if you take the eyes out.
But Carl, how is this ghostly creature able to function?
It doesn't have its head on anyway.
It's carrying under its arm.
So the suspicion is it doesn't need its head.
No, it doesn't.
It just happens to be carrying it around because it wants to keep it with it.
The ghost is always in the last condition that it was in when it was in.
Who makes these roles?
The way you are in your last bit of life is how you are as a ghost forever.
Even in the fashion.
Like I say, the ghosts that you see never wear modern clothes, so it's always the Victorian stuff.
Now, if they could change it, they would, but they can't because they stuck with it.
So that's why I'm not.
When did you see cavemen ghosts?
When did ghosts start?
They didn't kick in till about 1830, did they?
What if you die when you're having a rect examination?
Are you always bent forward with your trousers round your ankles and someone's finger up your ass?
But why would you die when you're having that done?
That's why I'm not having it done if that's you said.
No, no, no, no, no.
You swing and having it done.
They've both been suddenly killed in a terrible disaster.
A meteorite hit you.
That's when you get the moaning ghosts, isn't it?
That's they're the ones who aren't.
So you're going round bent forward, you've got a doctor's finger up your ass, and what are you doing?
You've sort of going, oh.
And that's when you have to get the vicar round.
What do you mean?
I mean, they have to put you to rest and what have you, don't they?
And what does a vicar do when he's going...
So I get the vicar round.
It's years later, it's 100 years later, you're around this doctor's surgery and there's people coming, and the doctor there, the new doctor there, and it's 2073, and they go, Vicar, Vicar.
They go, Vicar, there's a strange ghostly operation.
It looks like an old doctor, and he's got his fingers up this sort of like little, it's like a chimpanzee, but with a shaved head.
No, no, but the doctor wouldn't be...
Are you saying the doctor dies as well?
Yeah, you both die.
You die at the same time with his finger up your ass.
And so you're forever having a little retkle examination with your little trousers around your ankles.
Well, that's when it'd be best not to have your eyes.
Yeah, that's enough.
In the morning, Gavin and Ryan.
Okay.
That's a weird introduction.
I've never heard that.
In the morning to you.
In the morning.
My wife was a teacher and became pretty liberal due to it.
You know what that is, right?
Teachers' unions, most powerful unions in the country, more than tobacco and the NRA.
And what do unions like?
Systems that support unions.
Systems that support unions are socialists.
Socialist systems are pro-union.
So they start pushing socialism.
And the next thing you know, you have all these weird LGBT socialist fucking teachers that have been brainwashed by the union bosses.
And then they ruin our kids with it.
I didn't mind COVID and BLM brainwashing.
Wait, I didn't mind until COVID and BLM brainwashing became so prevalent.
Here's what I did to get her out of it.
And now she's very based.
I'd send her based stories, memes, and Instagram posts all the time.
I legit haven't stopped either because she gets fed the liberal propaganda all the time and you have to fight fire with fire.
She watches Netflix, Hulu, Prime all the time.
And when I would see the propaganda, I point it out every time.
We would argue a lot at the beginning, but don't stop because the media won't stop.
Use terms like the media is gaslighting you with this propaganda.
Yeah, what that did for me was she won't watch movies or shows with me now.
But she is red-pilled.
And yes, memes helped.
Articles really helped.
Like, you know, that Sheriff Dowd, the black sheriff who got killed during the riots.
That's a good one to send her.
Like, why isn't the media talking about this?
And it's a black cop who was killed by white Antifa.
Those little tidbits do well.
Hi, Gav.
Norman Mailer.
Oh, and I'll also send her funny shit, too.
So it's not like constant fucking check this out.
These people are cocksuckers.
David Dorne.
Yeah.
That poor guy.
Norman Mailer.
Hi, Gav.
Norman Mailer actually got quite red-pilled after his 1957 article, The White Negro.
In his reporting from the 1968 Republican Convention in Miami, he said he's getting tired of the Negroes and their rights.
So that was 10 years later.
Waiting for Ralph Abernathy, who was 40 minutes late.
That was the fucking guy who did the SCLC with Martin Luther King.
And that's why the SPLC chose their name, the SPLC, because it sounds like the SCLC.
And that's why they chose Charles Abernathy, because people would hear SPLC, Abernathy, and they'd give their money to Doris, what's his name, Morris Dees.
So Martin Luther King's man was 40 Minutes Late, and he said that he was weary to the bone of listening to black cries of black superiority in sex, black superiority in beauty, black superiority in war.
Heartily sick of listening to the tyranny of soul music.
So bored with Negroes triumphantly late for appointments.
So depressed with black inhumanity to blacks in Biafra.
So weary of being sounded in the subway by black eyes.
So despairing of the smell of booze and pot and used up hop in bloodshot eyes of Negroes bombed at noon.
Holy shit.
This is the exact opposite of the article, The White Negro.
And it would have made a lot more sense if they banned his 100-year anniversary for that quote and not the white Negro.
But that would require a modicum of intellect.
And as we learned from the green screen, we are dealing with a retard nation.
It's sadiocracy.
Retard nation.
Taken from the ungovernable city by Vincent Canodo, blah, blah, blah.
As a side note, you should read his book.
Hey, Gavina and Rianne.
So these are the girls that were here on Friday.
Who left a mess.
We could forward it to them.
We'll forward it to them.
Look at this.
What is that, a bitch clip?
It's an eyelash.
I guess they had false eyelashes on.
There was like tampons and coming out of her ears and her eyes and other places.
Smelled like pussy juice.
Yeah.
Grody.
Gross.
We thought they were making fish in here when we first walked in.
That girl talk episode of me laughing my ass off.
You guys been killing it lately.
I'm getting married to the perfect woman this week and wanted to thank you for helping me find my way over the past several years.
Your message of settling down and making a family has resonated with me and many others.
We can't wait to have kids and build a family together.
She is based and loved your girl talk episode.
Cheers, gents.
Never stop fighting.
That's some cheery news.
Wonderful, isn't it?
It's amazing.
And then this story's Been making the rounds.
So I'll give it a shout out.
Hey, Gavin Rygai.
I recently had my first child at the ripe age of 19, born on Jan 6th, the day of the worst atrocity in human history.
We're overjoyed and look forward to heaps more.
I recently came across this article written by some pussy LA journal talking about the muscle-bound buffoons and cowering in fear.
I'm perplexed by the maskless muscle-bound buffoons at the gym by David Weiss.
You got to look up David Weiss.
He is a specimen that is below Jason Charter.
This isn't the David Weiss that I love who's a flat earther.
No.
Okay, thank gosh.
I don't think.
This was the guy who started the band Was Not Was, which I don't really remember.
Look up Knocked Down, Made Small, treated like a rubber ball.
You would probably like this.
So far, so good.
What's taking you so long?
God, you suck.
To type all of that.
Because you've given me.
Given me.
Is that him, Dr. Chad?
No, it's not him.
It reminds me of it.
Is that him?
I think that's him.
How LA is that?
Okay.
Can you hear me, Jason?
Yeah, that's him.
What's he got?
Flute?
Clarinet.
This is great.
Take revenge of the nerds.
What's her problem?
He's burning all those marshmallows.
So supposedly.
Oh, God.
Anyway, David Weiss, look up his face.
When I was a young man, I should have been growing old to the Granny State.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Jesus Christ, this guy writes like a chick.
When I first took notice of this viral lawlessness, I stopped at the service desk on my way out and reported such wanton disregard for the rules to a trio of 20-something staff members.
No, there's much worse than that out there.
Yeah, we know, one of them drawled indifferently.
We don't have enough staff to make sure everybody's following the rules, but we'll have someone do a walkthrough and the manager gets in.
When the manager gets in?
By then, that pesky nano killer would have had the opportunity to pass its spiky baton to 100 treadmilling troglodytes.
What a horrible writing machine.
You sure that's him?
That's a very young, cool, gorgeous picture of him.
Discography?
I think that's him because he's blowing into his instrument.
You're always wrong, and if you're wrong about this, I'm going to fucking murder you.
Lewis here, Rope It Up TV.
We're here in East Philadelphia with another very, very special guest, Mr. David Weiss.
Welcome.
Thank you for coming down.
My pleasure.
Finding East Philadelphia on the map.
I'm just going to look up David Weiss LA Gym.
And then images.
To hear you say it, it also sounds like path, or the path.
That took me 10 seconds.
LA Gym?
And you did have the wrong fucking guy.
So I put in David Weiss in quotes, and then I put in L.A. Jim.
Let's do a little tutorial on how to do your fucking job.
L.A. Gym.
Now, Jim?
Clearly, I mean G-Y-M, Ryan.
What's clear about that?
The article's about a gym.
The article is called, I'm Perplexed by the Maskless, Muscle-Bound Buffoons at the Gym.
Yeah, we're not looking for the article.
Go back to images.
Wow, this is like pulling fucking teeth.
Okay, you're there now.
Oh, this man.
Nope.
Keep scrolling.
I can't see it very well.
That's the end of my results here.
Okay, you should be in Google for this.
Okay.
I'm in physical pain.
We made a company agreement to not use Google, but sure, I will do something that I'm not going to do.
No, we didn't say that.
We said that we prefer it, but if it's not working out, then we go to fucking Google.
And you've noticed that there's plenty of things that you have to go to Google for.
Remember?
There we go, Ryan.
You have arrived.
That is the man.
Thank God you only ruined the show at the very end.
So wait, was he in that band, though?
Is this a completely different thing?
Yes, he was in that band.
Was not was.
What an absolute fucking hideous dork.
All right, let's go to the final video.
One of the greatest pieces of evidence that diversity is not our strength is the quality of people at baggage claim.
Are we really getting the top scientists of the Caribbean and India and Africa?
Or are we getting fucking dregs?
They're not sending their best.
And one thing I've noticed when I go, like, Jamaica or anywhere in the Caribbean, any vacation spot, really, you're checking in and they've got like 30 things of fucking some weird fish jam.
Can you not ship that separately?
Can you not order it online?
Sometimes they'll have just meat.
And what is so special about this meat?
You go, well, sometimes it has to be prepared a certain way.
Dude, in Queens, they have these Muslims who have taken over an entire floor of a building where they kill the meat there.
And they, I don't know, it's some like, it's almost like the Jews with kosher meat where they have to see it being killed.
It has to be done live and blood has to do this and blood has to do that.
So it's just irritating and annoying.
And you know what's going to blow up.
This fucking moron, I don't know where they're coming from, but they were at the New York airport.
Have a bunch of stupid sausages and sauces.
They put it in a cooler like we're all going to be driving a truck on the plane and they don't even tape it up.
What the fuck?
Look at this mess.
What are those stupid sauces?
And like just random sausages.
You can't get those sausages here.
They're just too valuable.
Like get the recipe, asshole.
The whole top's broken off.
You know that they were just throwing it on, too.
What's she got?
Do you have a key for it?
With maggots.
I don't see no bug.
Hey, throw it away.
Sistina is still unaware.
Her infested smoked catfish won't be allowed.
Hi, man.
This is Neve from Southwest Airlines again.
Okay, we've gone through the first bag with the lady, and we've noticed that there are maggots in some of the fish.
We've put that aside in a bag, and I think I'm going to have a problem explaining to her that that fish would not go.
No.
Why are they placating her?
No.
This is more retardation.
I don't care if you're upset.
I couldn't care less.
People get kicked off planes for having shirts that are too low slung.
You're an animal.
You're carrying around maggot fish.
Oh my god.
You can't smoke catfish here?
Those aren't maggots.
Those are not maggots.
There's some weird something horrible.
Troglodyte.
Trilobite.
Trilobite.
I'm a truglody at the gym.
I hope you missed your flight, you stupid bitch.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Got me asking why you keep repeating what I said.
When I was 17, I used to run and hop the fence.
Now I'm driving cars, I bust the right and bust the left.
But the number one watch in the mirror's got a check.
Even though I'm far ahead, I can fucking bust the red.
Buster red, red, red.
Bust the red.
▲
Export Selection