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Jan. 4, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:31:52

S04E71 - DID PATTON OSWALT KILL HIS WIFE?

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	I'm another backflip, baby.
	Understand I got high blue pressure.
	The more you fucking rise with my anger.
	Lost your today, live your tomorrow.
	I feel the pain on no sorrow.
	My inside empty and hollow.
	Stay off, don't get me, don't try to follow.
	Walk the whip from your pen tomorrow.
	I'll get up in your bone marrow.
	Cause I don't care, cause you know I'm the pro.
	I told y'all before, walk up home.
	Just call me by the.
	That's good.
	I ain't laughing no more.
	This is Larry Barnes' new rap project where he's called the boxing rapper.
	And I'm pretty impressed with it.
	What do you think, Ryan?
	I think it's a knockout.
	Did you know that Larry could rap?
	I figured that growing up in Mount Vernon as an African-American...
	He didn't grow up in Mount Vernon, motherfucker.
	Oh, yeah, he did, actually.
	African-American male of color.
	You know what I said to him this morning?
	He's like, he had COVID, I think, recently.
	So he's back at the gym today, but he's not himself.
	So we usually do this joke where we're going to beat the shit out of each other.
	And he wasn't doing it.
	So I did it.
	The way you do that when you're riffing, if the other person isn't in the mood, you make the riff funnier.
	So I was walking by him like this, like, you got a problem, motherfucker, kind of a face.
	And then I keep walking, and now I'm walking, but I can't see where I'm going.
	So then I start going like this with my hand.
	So if I hit like a heavy bag or a pole, then I can stop.
	So that made him sort of laugh.
	So we're getting there.
	And then I go, I'm by the changing room at the end, and I'm like, how you doing?
	Everything good?
	He's like, yeah, I hope everything stays good.
	Okay, good.
	We got him.
	All right, we're going.
	And then I go, hope you're good tonight when you get home at 10 p.m. and you go to your house at 342nd Avenue, the White House with the slanting driveway.
	Like, and then he goes, that's not my address.
	Yeah, dude, I'm not literally going to be at your house to kill you at 10 p.m. tonight.
	I don't know your address.
	Although I did know it.
	I brought him some money during the first wave of the pandemic because I'm just that kind of a guy.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	You should do, go back to those faces.
	You know, I was in the car today laughing with that Asian face you did.
	Oh, right, right.
	That was, I think, the funniest moment of the show.
	I don't know why.
	Like, his expression, the way he was sort of like.
	Yeah, he's a confused man.
	It just makes me laugh every time I think about it.
	And then I go, who are you?
	Are you you?
	And you're like, no, just another Asian guy.
	I don't know.
	I bought your present, yet another present, even though Christmas is gone.
	Look what I got you.
	What that?
	Oh, cool.
	Because my old one.
	It's your old one.
	Nope.
	Oh, it's so dangerous.
	Did I get you in the face?
	Literally, this thing.
	No.
	But I don't care about me, but the equipment.
	And what's literally about the equipment?
	It's literally expensive.
	You could just treat it the way it's supposed to be treated and it breaks down.
	So to throw things at it, I say no.
	All right, let's restart the show here.
	That was not Larry Barnes.
	That's a stupid, I guess, racist joke.
	That's a different short black man.
	And that was Ray Dog.
	You're supposed to laugh at how shitty he is.
	And I don't know if it's my old age, but like bad writing I'm enjoying these days.
	Like cops and criminals who write books.
	Like the book I'm reading, I'm Not a Gangster, has all kinds of odd typos in it.
	And I'm just, I love it.
	And I'm listening to that terrible music.
	And I can hear that there is some sort of musicianship deep within his retarded brain.
	I can smell it.
	And it's good.
	It's got some like, da-da-da-da-da-da.
	You know what I mean?
	Like little 5-4 timing in it.
	And all the weird stock footage in the video.
	Like, who's that guy?
	And then he's got these grip socks he's wearing that are from like SkyZone.
	And his dog isn't fixed.
	His dog has his huge balls there.
	Like that stock footage.
	Put it up.
	Understand, yeah.
	Some of them act like cool on the free corner using you all your things and your money and it makes that right.
	Understand, yeah, it makes me wanna fight.
	But usually I'm a peaceful man.
	Understand, I don't come here to fight.
	Everything's gonna be alright.
	He's getting real tired.
	It's six minutes long in the song.
	Running out of steam.
	Just got this book from old James O'Keefe.
	I begged him to do a show here.
	James O'Keefe.
	Yes.
	This is my bald head.
	That looks pretty good.
	Pretty impressive.
	Yeah, you look very different.
	Wait, let's see if it works on you.
	You look like a good fighter.
	This is awesome.
	Don't show that because when I go on the lamb, I'm going to be bald.
	You're giving away my secret disguise.
	Sorry, sir.
	Can you do it?
	Oh, he keeps moving away.
	No.
	No.
	Shit.
	American Muckraker, rethinking journalism for the 21st century.
	James O'Keefe is...
	Oh, look, it's signed.
	James O'Keefe Is, I would say, finally accepted by the mainstream media.
	They were so reluctant because he came, he was an outsider, he didn't use any of the normal routes.
	He didn't start as an intern and then work at some bullshit, dumb cat blog, and then slowly work his way up to like New York Post and then to whatever, something good.
	No, we love the New York Post.
	He invented his own way of doing journalism, and he learned it in college by pretending to be offended by lucky charms.
	And he kept going with that his entire career.
	And it's like punk rock.
	He invented a new way of doing things.
	And it took a really long time because both the right and the left were establishment.
	And establishment journalism didn't want to accept this Maverick, this American muckraker.
	But I think he's there now.
	I think he's a rock star and he's finally enjoying life at the top, which is really a great thing about America.
	Like, you can be weird, but if you bust your ass and you get results, you'll eventually win.
	It could take a while if you're completely reinventing the industry, but you'll get there.
	So I actually haven't read this.
	I just got it today.
	But I've read his other books, and he's a fun writer.
	He gets the whole concept of making it exciting.
	Like in his other book, Breakout, I think it's called, it starts with him in prison.
	You're like, why are you in prison, dude?
	You know what I mean?
	Some other books by people who aren't really known as writers can be pretty mundane.
	And so this isn't the category I was talking about earlier where I love shitty art.
	This is actually good.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	I'm all over the map.
	In the news today, everyone's been stuck on the 95 in Virginia.
	And most people who work in D.C. live in Virginia because D.C. is a disgusting shithole run by Dems that is an absolute war zone where Prowboys were stabbed once a month for three months, which is why I told them not to go to January 6th.
	And yes, we are having a special January 6th celebration on January 6th.
	But it made me look up, how long can your car idle for?
	And you know what's annoying?
	I hate when you look up questions like this online and people are like, it's impossible to say.
	Depends on the make of the car and your fuel efficiency.
	Shut the fuck up.
	Of course I realize that.
	So the way you answer it is like, I don't know, like a newish BMW full tank, 50 hours.
	It depends.
	Is it a Model T Ford?
	And you know they're just wrapped up in a cozy blanket writing this like, I don't know.
	Maybe you have to check out the information.
	Check it out.
	Readable.
	Or they're like, it depends.
	Is the tank on its last drop?
	Then probably not very long.
	Yes.
	Thank you for that engine expert.
	But I looked it up and some guy was talking about he accidentally left his car on all weekend.
	It went 53 hours.
	Wow.
	I also saw as low as 10 hours.
	This is all full tanks.
	And then it got me thinking, am I supposed to have a big tank of gas in my trunk?
	A, no matter how perfect your tank of gas is, it eventually reeks.
	I don't know why it just, it does.
	If you use it once, you got to keep it in the garage.
	I keep mine in a bag in the garage because it just exudes odor.
	And the way they fucking design them now, it's like pulling teeth.
	I am always covered in gas whenever I use my gas can.
	You got to hold this shut and clip this and then rotate that.
	And you need Herculean strength because you're holding these nine tabs shut and then bending it.
	Fucking suck my dick.
	You heard me.
	And then so eventually that's all over.
	Anyway, also, you're carrying a big heavy thing in your trunk.
	Isn't that making you consume more gas?
	So I don't want to, I don't have a Jeep Cherokee.
	I don't want to carry gas around, but maybe I should after seeing this.
	They've been stuck there for 19 hours.
	This is Scott again with another quick how-to video.
	Look at this bullshit.
	I went to go rinse my lawnmower air filter with some gasoline to clean it.
	And I recently just bought this new gas can.
	Oh, you do?
	It has these flipping nozzles.
	Meanwhile, you're touching gas.
	Real quick, I want to show you how it works.
	Because it don't come with any instructions or anything.
	But you push this red button in.
	And then if you're tilting it, like say into your car, if you ran out of gas, it pushes this nozzle down.
	See?
	And then you're able to get the gas out of it, right?
	Because it's a no-spill type nozzle.
	Wow.
	Okay.
	But see, it locks back up.
	So if you want to do something like clean your air filter or pour this into something small like a weed eater or something, you can't.
	Anyway, they're infuriating.
	Thanks for improving upon something.
	It's like fucking car keys.
	Used to just be a key.
	Now it's a giant computer that fills up my whole pocket and it costs me $600 to replace.
	Not an improvement, right, nerd?
	It's absolutely ridiculous.
	I mean, have you seen these things?
	They're crazy.
	Dude, you have to get Snapchat, but here's a little...
	Ryan investigation.
	Deep dive.
	So this is Snapchat.
	Oh, get out of here.
	Look at this.
	So this is what's on Snapchat.
	Uh-huh.
	Okay.
	You go to Tragic Life of Belle Delphine, a porn girl.
	That looks interesting.
	Before it was something else about sex.
	It was vice, actually.
	Okay.
	HBO Max Secret Sex Lives of College Girls, blah, blah, blah.
	Therapy, that's fine.
	And they make gay things happen with people that you're friends with.
	Zendaya Cotton Race Row, so alt black, rich things.
	Just degenerate stuff.
	I mean, this is actually kind of light.
	really young girls playing guitar but also like them looking sexy like uh sexual and i don't even blame the young girls because they're looking at this and they think oh this is what people do right and the parents it's mexico i mean the parents aren't even there anyway let's get back to the show here so yeah just briefly everyone is stuck on 95.
	oh shit i didn't number them oh yeah i didn't number the first few go back to the first story daily mail stuck on 95.
	19 hours the good news is tim kaine is among the people no that's not it ryan daily mail stuck on 95 no that's not it well that'll that'll do i guess that's one of them the nbc correspondent josh letterman with us live from he's in his car where he's been for the last 10 hours on i-95.
	Josh, good morning.
	Just walk us through.
	I know 10 hours is a long time, but what's it been like for you?
	It sucks.
	I think the word is dystopian, Hoda.
	It was pretty good.
	Jesus got food in the back.
	I was heading back to DC last night and about 7.30 just north of Stafford is where we really came to a standstill.
	And you said, okay, you know, we're going to be delayed for a while.
	You understand that with the weather.
	And then once it started to get to 9.10 p.m. and we were not moving at all, you started asking yourself, am I going to be here all night long?
	Am I going to sleep in my car?
	Should I turn my car off?
	We started to see a lot of drivers turning their cars off to conserve gas, people running out of food and water, kids and pets holed up for so many hours, people letting their pets out of the car to try to walk them on the street.
	And in the meantime, no signs of any emergency vehicles that we could see.
	Now, you don't know if that's because they can't get to where you are, but you really start to think if there was a medical emergency, someone that was out of gas and out of heat, you know, it's 26 degrees and there's no way that anybody can get to you in this situation.
	So how are you getting along there, Joshua?
	I see your little dog right behind you.
	You had mentioned you didn't have food and water for yourself.
	You do have some provisions for your dog.
	What are people doing is provisions?
	Well, you know, I saw a number of people taking whatever bowls or cups they had and taking snow in case that that might eventually melt and make more water.
	But you think, you know, people are starting to look at how much supplies do you happen to have?
	How much do I love this dog?
	Wait, in case that snow might melt and become water?
	Just in case.
	I mean, it's a lot of the conspiracy theorists imply that snow melts at 60 degrees in a car.
	We don't know if it's true or not, but on the off chance Alex Jones is right.
	We brought snow from cold temperatures into warm temperatures.
	Fingers crossed.
	Hopefully physics is still a thing.
	Ooh, I hope melting really does exist.
	Call DoorDash?
	Hi, I had no problem getting here.
	And I'll have no problem leaving.
	What are you doing here?
	Bye.
	No.
	Call DoorDash?
	But there's those giant super tow trucks that tow Greyhound buses and stuff.
	Can't you just get one of those?
	Assuming that the roads are a fucking nightmare, right?
	And a Greyhound bus can't go on them.
	Can't you get one of those, tow a Greyhound bus, and just fill it up?
	Probably, right?
	Leave your fucking car there.
	Fuck your car.
	Look at this.
	LaGuardia flyers wait outside in freezing cold with kids for hours for their COVID tests.
	Yeah, I was going to visit my parents in Florida, but I'm just like, sorry.
	It's not even, you can't even go in the 95.
	Everything's broken down.
	Not gonna do it.
	This is totally unrelated, but some drunk kid died trying to jump a turnstile.
	You just watched a man die.
	I've resisted watching this so far, but he's clearly drunk and he wants to save two bucks.
	By the way, just big picture here.
	The previous story was about how bad the government is.
	Stop, stop, stop, stop.
	You know, every time you say you have libertarian tendencies, People go, oh, you don't like roads?
	We need the government to build the roads.
	Okay, well, there was a minor emergency on a road.
	They had an accident, and the government couldn't do shit.
	The state fell apart.
	So, fuck you and your roads.
	Privatize everything.
	The only thing that shouldn't be privatized is the cops and the army.
	My personal protection.
	That's it.
	And I'm starting to bend on cops, at least in some areas.
	Like you look at people who have these sort of personal security services.
	Look at Fifth Avenue when the riots got really bad.
	They had security guys with dogs.
	Look at fucking Tommy Robinson in Telford, UK right now, where he has a bunch of lads protecting a house because the police don't want to be racist.
	So I'm starting to bend on even that.
	And this story, I believe, is about some Hispanic kid with no dad who doesn't have any values and thinks that having a subway cart is too much.
	I'm not going to do it.
	Not going to do it.
	So when he gets drunk, he just goes, I'll just jump it.
	Oh, wait, I can't.
	I'm having some trouble here.
	Maybe if I run at it a bit, okay, and I'm running and, no, and I'm jumping.
	Maybe if I get my shins here, I crawl, bang, snap goes his neck.
	He's dead.
	That's a dead person right there.
	Maybe I should have said NSFW.
	Look at that, the branding.
	They got to brand it.
	Jesus Christ.
	Mr., you okay in there?
	No, Tony.
	Speaking of death, got some huge gossip.
	Huge investigative reporting about to go down.
	Now, Patton Oswald was a dude that I used to like a lot.
	I hung out with him a few times.
	He's in my movie, The Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants.
	He was kind of one of us.
	I want to say us, I mean like edgy dudes, Jim Goad kind of guys.
	I think I met him through Jim Goad, actually.
	David Cross was sort of like that too.
	You know, they'd collect Senator Bud Dwyer killing himself on VHS tape.
	We all come from that same background, kind of post-punk, you know, write a letter to John Wayne, Gacy, edgy stuff.
	But now a lot of those guys have realized that that's career suicide, so they're pretending it was all a joke.
	Like on my Getter account, I'm talking about Steve Albini, who said, that was just, I was just playing a character, but it makes me uncomfortable how Jim Goat and Gavin McInnes are comfortable in that skin.
	And you're like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	I was in a band called Anal Chinook.
	Chinook is an Inuit word for fart.
	So it was, I mean, sorry, for warm wind.
	So Anal Chinook means fart.
	You were in a band called Rape Man.
	You were also in a band for, excuse my language, Run Nigger Run.
	And your hit song was, you're lucky I don't kill one of you faggots.
	That's Steve Albini's background.
	And now he's like, dudes, we were all playing a game and now you're still playing it?
	It's like, no, no, no, no, wait a minute.
	I wasn't using that kind of wordage.
	We were making jokes.
	You were the guy that was over the top.
	Or that Christian Piccolini dude.
	Chris Piccolini, yeah.
	Who's like, Gavin, you are steeped in hate.
	You need to learn to love.
	I'm like, dude, you were a Nazi skinhead.
	And you're preaching to me about love?
	It doesn't work like that.
	I'm not going to still call you a Nazi.
	You know, everyone deserves a second chance.
	But no, you're a fucking Nazi.
	I was fighting Nazi skinheads like you in the 80s.
	And now you're showing up to tell me that I've sinned?
	Fuck you.
	Anyway, this is all on my getter.
	And then I started doing all this mostly because of the Steve Alvini thing.
	But then I'm thinking about this whole Patton Oswalt controversy where he's in trouble because he posed next to Dave Chappelle.
	That's a sin because Dave Chappelle is considered anti-trans.
	Not because he's anti-trans, but because he doesn't take it seriously enough.
	That's the way it works these days.
	You're either 100% with us and 100% against us.
	So if you still think there's two sexes, like J.K. Rowling, she thinks there's multiple genders.
	She's okay with that.
	She just thinks there's two sexes and she doesn't like males competing in female sports.
	But she's okay with calling yourself, you know, polygenderous.
	And Chappelle is similar.
	Pretty benign.
	In fact, they're to the left of Obama and the Clintons in the early aughts.
	But you can't be that.
	You have to be full-on trans.
	So Patton Oswald posed with him, and then he took a picture of himself.
	Did we already talk about this yesterday?
	It doesn't ring a bell so far.
	He took a picture of himself thinking of a response.
	No.
	And then he posted the response, which is the gayest thing since AIDS.
	Imagine, first of all, it's fucking lame to write a big diatribe about why you pose with someone as evil as David Duke.
	I mean, Dave Chappelle.
	But to take a picture of yourself composing the letter?
	Cringe.
	Cringe.
	Are you going to show any of this shit?
	There you go.
	That's him.
	Just so you know, hey, I'm writing a really heartfelt letter.
	Could you grab a shot of me doing it?
	I'm going to be like thinking my face off.
	Okay, no problem, sir.
	Look at that.
	What?
	That's one for the books.
	Like, that might be the most cringe thing of 2022, and we just started.
	That's going to be in our New Year's Eve episode in one year from now.
	Early contender.
	Early contender.
	Nice work, Patton.
	It's named after General Patton.
	How ironic is that?
	So then, so scroll down there.
	Then I start thinking, when did all this begin?
	When did he become such a cuck?
	That's everything I just pointed out.
	Getter is exploding.
	I've gone up like 5,000 followers in a day.
	And then that's the old dude.
	So there he is hanging out with Jim Goden, Nick Bugis.
	Nick Bugis is rumored to be the guy who did those super offensive cartoons as a Wyatt man, super racist stuff that I think the KKK used to use.
	But he was edgy and weird.
	And I don't care if you did offensive cartoons, big deal.
	But one day Patton changed.
	And I was like, it was when his wife fucking died, wasn't it?
	That was April of 2016.
	And then I'm thinking, that's kind of weird because Trump had already been around, right?
	Yeah.
	And we saw his whole campaign.
	But even the beginning of Trump's campaign, Patton wasn't an anti-Trump zealot.
	He was very pro-free speech, and he was getting canceled.
	And he was like, fuck all these people.
	They can suck my dick.
	And I remember DMing him and saying, come to the dark side, Patton.
	The false is strong with you, young Patton.
	I can feel it.
	Come to the dark side.
	And so he was on the edge of red piliation.
	And then just like, fuck you, fuck Ode, fuck Boogis, fuck everyone.
	You're all evil racists.
	Like, he gave me shit for interviewing that Emily pistachio girl chick.
	Emily Yucas.
	Yeah, and I'm like, what?
	I had her on my show.
	I disagreed with her.
	I told her to get away from identity politics and whiteness and focus on Western politics because you get the best of all worlds.
	You get the culture of the West and you get to hang out with your black conservative friends.
	Racial identity politics is for losers and it's a dead-end street.
	And she wanted me to recite the 14 words and I said, do it with Western and include everyone.
	I mean, Western people are endangered.
	Western blacks who want the family preserved, they're endangered.
	They're a part of this.
	She refused.
	Anyway, he gave me shit for that and constantly shitting on Proud Boys.
	And I just thought, fuck this guy.
	So then I started looking into this and I realized, wait a minute.
	His special, Talking for Clapping, came out April.
	So then I looked it up last night.
	It came out April 21st.
	And it includes a thing about how living in LA, you want an ambient and they might give you one or two.
	Same with New York, by the way.
	But if you're in the Midwest, you can have Xanax, Oxy, whatever.
	So he goes to his mother's house and she's got a whole salad bowl of pills that he can have.
	Guess when his wife died?
	The next day.
	And he apparently gave her the Xanax that OD'd her.
	So go back to that clip I recorded last night on my TV.
	It was huge.
	And it was, and it wasn't just Ambien, it was Ambien, Viking, and it was this whole trail mix of, it was a Whoops All Crunchberries assortment of oxycontins and wow.
	Holy interest digs an ambient.
	Hey, I think this is an ambient.
	I'm like, okay.
	Now, she, I believe, had a, I think she was overweight, and she had a, his wife had a fentanyl patch.
	And I think she was experiencing some sort of discomfort.
	And I believe he gave her a Xanax that night she OD'd.
	Now, I don't think he murdered her on purpose.
	He had a girlfriend and wanted to marry her.
	I'm not buying that.
	I know the guy.
	I don't see him like that.
	I think it was accidental death.
	And I think he's responsible for negligent homicide.
	At least there's a case to be made.
	You'll notice I'm speaking very carefully here.
	So in case this ever ends up in court, I've covered my tracks.
	But here's a possible scenario.
	All right?
	Special comes out April 21st.
	She dies within 24 hours.
	Now, obviously, the special is pre-taped.
	You figure that part out.
	But, and she's probably seen it before and she saw the editing process, but they probably sat down and said, okay, it's out now.
	Let's watch it with fresh eyes.
	And she watched it, and it's a pretty good special.
	His comedies are not boring.
	It's not derivative.
	And I like the fact that he looks like a fat nerd and he's talking about getting wasted and stuff.
	So she watched it and she goes, it's fantastic.
	And it also feels kind of cool.
	Like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
	My husband's a big pill guy.
	Like Hunter Thompson would talk about how he would do a line of cocaine in the morning and then two shots of scotch and then he'd do a Viking in and then he'd do some speed.
	And it's very like beatnik sort of post-hippie hipster kind of thing.
	I'm talking about the first iteration of hipsters, the beatnik Jack Kerouac types.
	So they're both sort of in that vibe.
	He's like, we're not fat nerds anymore, honey.
	Now we're badasses.
	Now we're nutty fucking druggies.
	So that night, while in that same mindset, she's like, oh, my fentanyl patch is bothering me.
	I don't feel good.
	And he's like, why don't you take one of our cool drugs that we always have hanging around?
	Here you go.
	Again, Your Honor, this is a potential scenario that Crazy Me thinks is very possible.
	So she takes one of his cool pills.
	And then maybe he does too.
	So he's too conked to notice that his wife has stopped breathing.
	Maybe.
	Wakes up the next day, she's fucking blue and cold.
	Did you ever hear him tell the story?
	It doesn't contradict what you're saying, but it goes a little different.
	Okay.
	So he wake up in the morning, daughter already go to school, so grab backpack, and he, when he come back, give her like a Starbucks.
	I'm not sure humor is, this is the exact best spot.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Yeah, maybe, maybe eight seconds before or after this bit is fine.
	But in the center of the story of the woman dying, my bad.
	He walks through like an alibi.
	Like when he, I remember, I don't know if this is exactly where he did it, but he talks about the morning and all the events leading up to it, and it sounds like an alibi.
	He's like, so I go downstairs, I grab the backpack, bring my daughter to work, open the door, just like weird.
	That's something criminals do, too.
	They always overexplain their alibi.
	And I remember it being snowy out, and it was around 8.56 a.m.
	Yes, exactly.
	I walked down the driveway, and I remember hearing the news talking about the riots in Portland and blah, blah, blah.
	Like 900 alibis.
	It's raining alibis.
	Nine months after their wedding spouse died.
	And then he probably goes, okay, I have to Change my trajectory here.
	Because if I maintain my Jim Goad, Gavin McInnis, Nick Bugis, antagonistic, even David Cross back then, antagonistic demeanor, I'm constantly picking fights.
	And now I have skeletons in my closet and I don't want you looking behind me.
	So I'm going to become, I'm going to join the group of the most shrill and tyrannical, annoying mob.
	If I'm on their side, then I can sort of hide behind them.
	Like imagine, you know, you join an Antifa mob and you put a mask on and you're at the back.
	You're one of the safest people around, really, right?
	Unless the proud boys can plow through like 60 people and get to you.
	So you're hiding there behind the mob and you're like, and then you start like going, ew, you're a bitch.
	So he becomes so comfortable in this SJW camouflage that he gets Stockholm syndrome and he starts becoming like them.
	And that's why when Shane Gillis was canceled, he was like, fuck you, bitch, you fucking racist white male.
	And then his brother says, if you want to see comedy that pushes the least boundaries, check out comedians who think they're pushing boundaries.
	And then Pat Noswell was like, this, this.
	Meanwhile, Shane Gillis, his thing was not, I'm pushing boundaries.
	I'm an edge troll.
	Remember what got Shane Gillis canceled?
	A total silly throwaway joke on his podcast where he said, how did Chinatown start up?
	They just seem to appear.
	And then his friend goes, yeah, there's some guy who's like, wait a minute.
	One day I walked down the street and there's all these chinks here.
	Now, in that joke, joke, I'm not even going to go like this, joke, neither of them are the guy who said chinks.
	That's a random dude walking down the street.
	Probably a racist.
	So in that sense, it's lampooning racism.
	But no, you said the CH word, and context is irrelevant.
	So Patton was jumping on that?
	No, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
	So then he sees Chappelle, and this is now, we're what, five years after the death of his wife?
	Six?
	He's sort of like getting bored of that thing or having trouble, what do you call it?
	Maneuvering it.
	Driving the boat.
	I don't fucking know.
	Navigating it.
	Navigating.
	That's the word I meant to say.
	My brain's a piece of shit this week.
	I'm Winnebago, man.
	So then he's like, okay, I don't think he feels comfortable in the SJW world because those people fuck with him a lot over the years.
	So he's like, all right, how does it work now with trannies and blacks?
	I like blacks, and I look good in photos with them.
	That's good for my reputation.
	That'll keep the monsters at bay.
	That'll keep my skeletons in my closet, the skeleton of involuntary manslaughter.
	But then now trans seem better than blacks.
	And this black is an anti-trans guy.
	I don't know what the fuck to do.
	That's why he has to take a picture of himself going like this, because it's confusing.
	By the way, as my wife pointed out last night, I'd be kind of pissed if I was black and I'd been through slavery, Jim Crow, and all this.
	And then some dude puts on a wig and goes, actually me.
	Yeah.
	Where the fuck did you come from?
	Oh, I just made myself an oppressed minority.
	I've got a huge history that goes back to 2018.
	Fuck.
	Anyway, so that puts him in a conundrum, and that's why he's sitting writing these letters because he's stuck now.
	And that's why I went back and realized April 21st, the special came out.
	April 22nd, she OD'd on pills.
	The special was all about pills.
	I'm not saying he should have killed her, but I understand.
	No.
	I'm not saying he killed her on purpose.
	But I'm saying it sounds like there's a preponderance of evidence that he took an illegal Xanax and accidentally killed his wife.
	And liberal privilege, no problem.
	Don't worry about it.
	We're sorry to inconvenience you, sir.
	Continue with your comedy.
	Can you imagine me or any MAGA person gave his wife a pill that put her over the edge the day after releasing a special about how awesome illegal drugs are?
	What if I did a special called Heroin is Fun and then my wife OD'd on smack?
	I'd be fucking behind bars right now.
	I said that they would shoot you into space like Zod.
	Yeah, I'd be in one of those tile records, those little fucking mirror things.
	Help help praying that Superman throws a nuclear bomb nearby within the next million years.
	I've always, I don't know.
	It always really hit me weird, him explaining that that one time.
	Just going through every motion.
	I picked up her book.
	Show some of it.
	You know, I hope that's it.
	It reminds me of, like, that's the funny thing about this sort of cool indie hipster comedian world.
	I was kicked out because I might be racist because I do like Trump, right?
	Murdering your wife, not a big deal.
	Jennifer Chiba, I'm convinced, killed Elliot Smith.
	But he stabbed himself with a knife right after he dumped her?
	And his suicide note was allegedly spelled wrong?
	But no one gave a shit.
	Jennifer Chiba still hung out with everyone.
	Come on in.
	You're cool.
	You're dope.
	All you did was murder your spouse.
	Murder is here.
	Not just racism, but potential for racism is way up here.
	And the line in the sand for the cool crowd is here.
	So all these murderers are fine to hang out.
	But I can't be in the cool crowd anymore because I, yeah, I don't like Trump and someone thinks Trump's racist.
	So no.
	You're fired.
	You know what's really genius about Jim and Sam in this?
	So they don't bring it up, to my recollection.
	What they do is they start talking about conspiracy theories, Weinstein allegations, and marriage.
	How fucking genius.
	And then he just goes into a combination of people to needs to be fired.
	That whole interrogation.
	Did she comment that you look like Stephen Avery?
	Out of sight.
	She didn't see me.
	I just started bawling like, oh, she should have been there for that.
	Now me, like, as you're now getting married again, like, that's going to come up, and this is just part of life now.
	I don't, I mean, you know, I talked to I had friends who got married like nine months ago.
	Okay, that's him.
	Because I don't want my daughter to remember.
	Yeah, he really focuses on his daughter all the time now.
	I'm a dad.
	I'm a shield.
	Don't throw me in jail.
	She won't have a dad.
	And then, okay, Joe Biggs is a dad.
	Oh, good.
	She's asleep.
	Good.
	She's asleep.
	Here it is.
	Here it is.
	Another thing, too, he solved his wife's murder mystery, you know?
	And so whenever you type in wife death, it's like a lot of what comes up is this killer that he found.
	Well, I was trying to find the clip that I just showed you, where he's talking about his potpourri of pills.
	And when you look up Pat and Oswald prescription drugs, it's all about the dead wife.
	Like I had to go to Netflix and watch the special to get to this.
	It's not anywhere.
	I'm asleep, and I was like, you know, you sleep in.
	And I got up and I remember very distinctly she was snoring really loud.
	So I'm like, oh, good, she's asleep.
	Good.
	She's getting what?
	Bullshit.
	Either she snores a bunch and you don't recognize that.
	Here's something.
	Don't recognize that?
	Here's something.
	My wife snores.
	People in general don't snore in the morning.
	Right.
	It's like when they first go to sleep, then when they get the heavy REMs, they don't snore.
	That's been what I've noticed.
	I've noticed that.
	I've never heard someone snore in the morning.
	That is interesting.
	That's a light sort of an in-and-out of sleep thing.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Like, imagine it's 8 a.m.
	It's the time you usually get up because you have a daughter, so you're up for school.
	And at 8 a.m., you're like...
	That wasn't a very good snore impression, but.
	Like, picture it in your mind right now.
	The sun's pouring into the window, and you're snoring like a fucking stuck pig.
	Let's see if this.
	Partial awakening.
	If you're a snorer, it likely heard kind of signs of fake sleep.
	Holy sleep.
	Okay, don't do your research live.
	Let's go back to the talk.
	I think she's catching up on her sleep.
	Went, got Alice, you know, got her breakfast, got her dressed, backpacked, went to school, you know, talked to her teachers, came back.
	I stopped at Starbucks.
	I got Michelle Grande Americano.
	She lived in Americano.
	Put that on her.
	That always stuck with me.
	Grande Americano.
	Every time I order that at Starbucks, I heard your wife got killed.
	Yeah, she got, I got her a Grande Americano.
	Okay.
	Maybe that contributed to it.
	All right.
	Yeah, it's almost like a mess.
	It was her favorite coffee order.
	I got it at 8.56 a.m. after I'd spoken to my daughter's teachers.
	Would I be speaking to my daughter's teachers if I was a murderer?
	No one thinks you're a murderer.
	We think you accidentally killed your wife.
	Michelle Grande Americano.
	She lived in Americano.
	I'm not lying.
	Put that on the table by the bed.
	Went back upstairs.
	Now it's like 9.30.
	She's still snoring.
	Went up to my office.
	I had some calls to make.
	I had some writing to do.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	If you do a Xanax at night with your fentanyl patch, I assume you get the first surge like half an hour in.
	You're going to OD like seven hours later?
	Seven to ten hours later?
	I mean, junkies OD almost immediately after they inject the heroin.
	They don't have a nice good night's sleep, snore away, and then die.
	Prince had died.
	Damn it.
	It's all just a theory, Your Honor.
	All just a theory.
	Right.
	Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.
	Prince had died of similar causes for a little bit.
	At 2 o'clock that day, Alice had an art show at school that we were going to then attend.
	So at 12, I don't know why I remember this so specifically.
	Yeah, meaning.
	At 12.42 p.m., I went down.
	Wait a minute.
	I was joking.
	This whole show, I've been joking about 8.56 a.m.
	Oh, you literally did say that.
	And then here he goes, 12.42 p.m.
	I don't know why I remember this.
	Whoa.
	In case you're still sleeping.
	Right now in the interrogation room, the good cop just looked at the bad cop and went.
	Because they've done this a thousand times.
	And when they perp says the exact time, nine times out of ten, he's guilty.
	P.M. I went down to go, hey, you know, in case you're still sleeping, I figured she'd be awake already, but we're going to leave at 1.15, and that's when I discovered her.
	Do you want me to ask you?
	You said she was snoring.
	And that's when I discovered her.
	Here, I want to hear.
	We're going to leave at 1.15, and that's when I discovered her.
	Let me ask you, you said she was snoring.
	Was it obviously, do you think she died of sleep apnea?
	I don't.
	I mean, there was an undiagnosed heart thing, and then she was also taking way more prescription meds than she should have been.
	This is another thing that criminals do.
	They'll be like, anything that you, anything that's not me, could have been.
	She did have a thing six years ago.
	And I like how it's on prescription meds.
	It's like the Waukesha massacre where they go, an SUV drove through a crowd and he just came from a domestic.
	So that's probably the majority.
	Was she murdered by a gun?
	Because she was having trouble sleeping.
	That stuff can feed itself to it.
	And it will slow.
	That's what the, when I was talking to the coroner, like, yeah, this stuff can build up in your system and really, and that's what, it's not like you take the one overdose.
	It builds up over time.
	So even if it was me and my Xanax, it was the other pills over time.
	And you can't put this just on me.
	Oh, my God.
	Imagine that we're right.
	And he did accidentally kill her after this interview.
	He must have been like, I'm just going to go to the bathroom for one second here.
	And then he just goes in the stall and he sits down in the bowl.
	He doesn't have to shit.
	And he just, with his pants up, he sits down in the bowl and just goes, holy fucking shit, holy fucking shit.
	Holy fucking shit.
	Oh my God.
	Oh my God.
	Oh my God.
	And then he goes up to the, he's washing his hands and he looks at himself in the mirror and he goes, what did you do?
	You killed her.
	You killed them all.
	Like Robert Durst when he was caught up.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then he farts.
	But then he realizes his mic is still on.
	Oops, see you do.
	Because she didn't like wake up in the middle of the night a lot, but there was definitely a heart thing that was.
	And it was a thing that you, which I found out later, has a very, very long name.
	Mitochar.
	It was a long thing, but it's a thing that you cannot detect unless you were very specifically looking for it with a battery of tests.
	Like it doesn't just show up.
	So it's just, it really sucked that way.
	And I only have my two biggest pet peeves.
	Mondays.
	Mondays.
	My wife dying.
	Not in the Garfield that way.
	And those were his two, I believe.
	Was it Lasagna?
	No, he liked lasagna.
	He loved lasagna.
	Hated his wife dying.
	Didn't like Odie.
	Odie's like right behind the wife dying thing.
	If it was like wife dying or Odie, I'd be like, I don't know.
	They're both so annoying.
	All right, let's make a...
	Let's just, this is sort of on topic.
	Let's jump into the war on kids because this has been on my mind.
	Here we go, folks.
	War on kids.
	Come, hold on to your hatties.
	New subject.
	We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
	I like that font.
	Okay, this really pissed me off.
	And I want to make something clear here.
	There's definitely a war in the family.
	They're definitely out to dismantle the nuclear family.
	And I'm sure it is some globalists' grand scheme.
	But the trickle down of this philosophy is a lot of the perpetrators here that are choosing the show I'm about to tell you about, I don't think they're like, you know, a cartoon villain going, yes, master, we are carrying out the plan to dismantle the family.
	I think this sort of anti-family thing has successfully become systemic.
	It's successfully invaded the culture.
	And now when you're a TV exec and someone pitches you a show that says, fuck the family and let's dismantle the nuclear family, you're like, oh yeah, I'm familiar with that culture.
	And then you do it.
	For example, if you're casting a show and there's a neurosurgeon, you make him black, not because you're out to like discredit white males or anything.
	That's just become the culture.
	On TV, neurosurgeons are black males or females.
	So I'm not going to totally Alex Jones this and say they're out to ruin the family, but just like that Deathly Xanax, they're ruining the family.
	So this is a guy who is an inept fag who's Gloria Vanderbilt's son.
	She bought him a career in news.
	He is powerfully not just dyslexic.
	I think he's on the spectrum.
	He's a weird nerd.
	He eats like veggie burgers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
	He's a fag.
	He's fucked in the head, basically.
	And he's dating some dude for 10 years.
	They decide it's not working.
	And that is the best possible time to have a kid.
	So as their relationship is coming to a close, and maybe this was a desperate attempt to bring them back together, they adopt a child.
	I don't recommend that, by the way, folks, of all sexual preferences.
	If your relationship is deteriorating, don't go get yourself a kid.
	Don't even get yourself a dog or a hamster for that matter.
	And then he gets a kid.
	So now they're co-parenting, but they're not the biological parents.
	You're an adoptive parent, and no one has a problem with adoption.
	I consider it just as legitimate as biological parents if you treat it the same and you live with the kid and the kid grows up calling you dad.
	This is just Anderson Cooper's ex-boyfriend.
	That's your dad?
	Your adoptive dad's ex?
	Okay, I've got ex-girlfriends.
	Are they my kid's mom?
	No, because they don't see the kids that much.
	Nor does this fucking clown's ex.
	You're not co-parenting.
	You're not even parenting.
	And as Ann Coulter points out with single moms, children of single moms are cursed.
	They appear in crime stats more.
	It's like knowingly making a kid deaf from birth.
	They're starting out with a handicap.
	It's a bad scenario.
	It happens.
	Hey, if you're a widow, your husband died, or in Iraq, you're a vet, your husband's a vet.
	My heart goes out to you.
	You'll agree, though, that this is not ideal.
	Now, I'm not saying that your family sucks, but it's less good as it was with a dad.
	But in this case, this guy is knowingly pursuing that horrific war vet scenario I just described for you.
	And it's being glorified over at USA today.
	Dad, that should be in quotation marks.
	Anderson Cooper to host new parenting show for streaming service at CNN Plus.
	And I think if you recall, Anderson Cooper streamed something live on YouTube.
	I think it had 65 viewers.
	It was embarrassing.
	Like CNN's best day ever compared to Joe Rogan's worst day ever are still, he's literally five times the audience that CNN is.
	Why are you going back to that?
	I was going to look something up.
	But that should be the War on Kids backdrop.
	Oh, yes, yes, yes.
	That's Antifa, shithead.
	What's up?
	Why is Antifa in The War on Kids?
	I've always wondered why it's so prominent, but it's...
	I guess that Antifa is in the schoolrooms and all that.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes.
	So, yeah.
	Like, when you first see it, you go, okay, I guess it's a gay couple and it's not ideal, but I guess they're trying.
	No, they're not trying for shit.
	And so Anderson Cooper, who started a family after his fake family fell apart, is now an authority on fatherhood.
	What?
	Did he even have a dad?
	Oh, it was his brother who just.
	One time his brother just got up and ran out the apartment, out the window to his death.
	So he's always had a great family life.
	And if there's one person you should be talking to about fatherhood, it's Anderson fucking Cooper.
	And again, the TV execs and USA Today, don't give them too much credit.
	They're not sitting there going, this is a perfect way to dismantle the nuclear family.
	It does.
	That is the effect of their behavior.
	But they're just like, hey, man, thinking outside the box.
	I'm open-minded.
	To me, a dad isn't just the wait till your father gets home guy with the paper who smokes cigars and has the dog bring him his slippers.
	For me, a dad could be an Anderson Cooper.
	That's how fun we are.
	That's as deep as their thinking goes.
	But they don't realize they are cogs in the globalist machine that is out to destroy the American family so they can destroy society so they can rebuild it back in their image.
	Similarly, this story that Barry Weiss, who we used to like, she was promoting this story that was from an editor of The Atlantic who was ironically named Honor.
	And this woman says, yeah, I was shopping for kitchens at my new house, and I couldn't afford the kitchen I wanted.
	And then I started to look at different kitchens.
	A beautiful and moving essay by my friend Ender Jones.
	So you're reading it.
	You got to see this fucking, you have to read this shit.
	It got ratioed, thank God.
	But she talks about how she couldn't afford the thing.
	And Ryan, you got to get behind one of those VPNs where we don't need to worry about signing in.
	I had wanted, I thought, soapstone counters, blah, blah, blah.
	So she can't afford the farmhouse sink she wants.
	And as she's going back and forth with that, she decides, I'm just going to fucking dissolve this marriage.
	She has two or three young kids.
	And as usual, with all talks of divorce, and we're going to get to this in the letters page, she's like, it's all about her, a little bit about her husband, and a teensy, weensy bit about her kids.
	But in the kids thing, it's like, they don't care if they're in the country or in the city.
	And being in the city was better for our careers.
	And you're reading it going, so why did you get divorced?
	Was he fucking one of his students?
	What's going on?
	No, I just wanted to...
	I wanted a new start.
	I wanted to, she literally says this.
	I wanted to feel the wind in my hair.
	I wanted to breathe.
	I wanted the sun in my face.
	What?
	What?
	And all these women are glorifying it as some sort of empowered great move.
	Now, again, with divorce, co-parenting, that's not you take the family and you just turn it sideways.
	You split it in half.
	You have a dad.
	Most divorces involve, they see the dad every Wednesday, which is like, I don't know, we have dinner and then everyone goes to their video games, goes to bed.
	And then every second weekend.
	And even that second weekend sucks because the kids don't play with their friends.
	They're in a new area.
	They're with their stepbrothers.
	It's a shitty scenario.
	And you have half the father.
	Like, a big part of being a father, especially with a daughter, is I consider myself a security guard.
	And if I go up to my daughter and I go, so what's going on?
	Is Sheila being a bitch?
	She's not going to go like, oh my God, I fucking hate her.
	So she's not going to tell me shit.
	But that one time where she's crying and she needs help, that almost made me cry, where she's crying and she needs help, that's the same as a security guard hearing something outside.
	And then I go over with my flashlight and I investigate.
	And if she's like, Sheila's being a bitch, then I'm there.
	Finally, the security guard is needed.
	Now, if we're divorced, what are the odds that I'm going to be around when that one time that the alarm is tripped off at the museum?
	So you're just, you're a security guard.
	You're a 24-hour day security guard.
	And the way security guards work is they're often not needed.
	Sometimes, by the nature of their very existence, there isn't an issue because there's a security guard there.
	I'm not going to rob the museum.
	But that one weird time, Thursday, November 11th at 3 a.m., where someone breaks a window, I'm there with my flashlight.
	Hello?
	And that's a huge part of fatherhood.
	So she's removed that with her arbitrary bullshit.
	And then she's like, who could I be if I wasn't his wife?
	Maybe I would micro-dose.
	Maybe I would have sex with women.
	Maybe I'd write a book.
	Not a book about real estate.
	A fun book about having your toes sucked at a party.
	What a vapid.
	What a cunt.
	What a fucking cunt.
	You know what I hear from friends that are dealing with women?
	They're like, they have to go and work on themselves.
	They need time to work on themselves.
	What the fuck?
	My wife did that and it saved our marriage.
	Oh, really?
	But what is it?
	Like, just the phrasing I hate so much, like, work?
	It makes it sound like there's work.
	Yeah, it's annoying verbiage, but women get stressed out and what she should have done is gone away to a retreat for like 10, 14 days where you go hiking in Arizona.
	Me time.
	Just call it me time.
	That's what it is.
	It's me time.
	I don't have a problem with me time, by the way.
	In the old days, they'd go to the loony bin for a month.
	Yeah.
	Anthony always points out there was this medicine you just give them to shut them up.
	It's your broad being too yappy.
	Papa one of these, a geratol.
	Whatever.
	But like, and you know what it does to, divorce does to kids, too?
	They go, well, I can't tell you how many of my high school friends are unmarried and childless.
	It's about 50%.
	And back when I was out on Facebook, I'd look them up and I'd be like, what happened?
	And I remember at the dial house at the Crass Farm, I was talking to G's niece's kids or G's niece.
	And I was going, it's sad your divorce.
	Sad it didn't work out.
	He was an asshole.
	And G is got, she's an anarchist.
	So she's like, no, it doesn't matter.
	Why'd you need a piece of paper?
	And then the niece is sort of more on my side.
	And she goes, I don't know.
	Both the girls have said to me, if it didn't work out with you and dad, I mean, how can it work out?
	And I'm like, see?
	And that's all my friends.
	My parents stayed together, but almost all my friends, their parents got divorced.
	It was the hot thing in the 80s, and they just sort of don't believe in love anymore.
	And they also don't understand sticking it out.
	As I keep saying, guys, with marriage, you can have a bad year.
	I know that sounds crazy.
	Talk to a woman whose husband is in the military.
	She doesn't see him for a year.
	She had a bad year.
	Talk to people who had to go to China for work for a year.
	They had a bad year.
	It doesn't have to be all roses.
	But this woman is bored of choosing a kitchen and has just decided I need a divorce.
	And this isn't when the kids are away at college either.
	They're all super fucking young.
	So I have different categories in my head.
	Like kids away, empty nest.
	I still think it does damage because you say to the kids, we meant to get divorced earlier, but we couldn't because of you.
	But trust me, love is fake.
	But it's better than when the kids are 12, 13.
	But what I find totally unacceptable is baby 2, 3, 4.
	Like Louis C.K., his kids were babies.
	Child behavioral problems.
	It looks like just edging out single mothers is a step parent, which is weird.
	Maybe because there's some rebellion in there.
	Yeah, I don't like them.
	There's too many factors to explore that.
	That's other.
	That's a lot to just put other.
	But the popularity of that article goes back to the Anderson Cooper thing.
	It's this glorification of the death of family.
	And they're not doing it on purpose.
	They're too stupid.
	Like, Antifa doesn't realize they're the paramilitary wing of the DNC.
	They think they're fighting for justice.
	So not everyone is on the same page with the agenda.
	They're dupes.
	They're cannon fodder.
	They're easy prey.
	They're useful idiots.
	And I think everyone I've listed here is a useful idiot.
	In the case of the Honor Jones, she's just a self-indulgent cunt who is just as useful as a useful idiot.
	And the last example I'm going to give of this is this fun new, well, not new, but relatively new.
	This fun new concept of vasectomies being awesome.
	Do it.
	I know a guy at my gym, Timmy, the guy who broke my ribs, by the way, and they're still broken from the telethon.
	He has 13 brothers and like seven sisters, 20 siblings.
	And these people are like, I have two kids.
	That's already way too much.
	So men across America are getting vasectomies as an act of love.
	This is a stretch.
	This is going to take you a second to wrap your head around.
	I understand like the world's overpopulated.
	It's stupid and retarded.
	It's like going to the beach and washing one grain of sand and saying, I cleaned the beach.
	But I get it.
	It's just bad logic, but at least there's something there.
	But this is different than that.
	This is with the right to abortion under threat, men say they want to play a role in reproductive planning to support their partners.
	So because women can't get abortions, we're going to make sure, I'm going to do my little tiny part in making sure women can't get pregnant.
	So I'm going to cut my balls off.
	They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses.
	As long as state legislatures continue to restrict the reproductive rights of cis women, trans men, oh, sorry.
	Jesus Christ, I keep forgetting that gender doesn't exist.
	Okay.
	As long as state legislatures continue to restrict the reproductive rights of cis women, trans men, and non-binary people, those are the three groups that are hurt by abortion law.
	There should be laws that address the responsibility of men.
	Wait a minute.
	They fucked up.
	They just said men.
	They just said men.
	Well, men could exist because they need somebody to blame.
	No, but men who impregnate them.
	So they have, according to their own stupid rules, they should have had cis men.
	Dummies?
	You wrote cis women.
	That just shows you that they don't even believe this shit.
	Like, a punk rocker would never accidentally say that Metallica are punk because he knows the rules.
	It's his culture.
	It would feel weird.
	It would feel unusual.
	But if you're full of shit, then you're like lots of other punks like the Sex Pistols, Metallica, the Bee Gees.
	The responsibility of men.
	Who wrote this?
	Let's look them up.
	This is my favorite game.
	Thus, my bill will also code.
	Oh, it's the politician saying that.
	Thus, my bill will also codify wrongful conception to include when a person has demonstrated negligence toward preventing conception during intercourse.
	Rab wrote in a memo about his proposal.
	So it's this Rab guy saying this.
	So I've been absolving these people of their crimes because, no, that's the fucking.
	She's the author.
	I've come across her a few times.
	She is a fucking nut.
	She looks unwell, dude.
	Look how much Adderall she's on in that other picture.
	She has meth face.
	And of course she went to Columbia.
	Hey, when we start doing MOS stuff, men on the street stuff, I'm actually kind of strangely attracted to freaks like that, unfortunately.
	I'm not happy about my dick's proclivities.
	I know what you're thinking, and I'm as shocked as you that I want to fuck her.
	There's the appealing Jewy look.
	I'm attracted to mentally ill Jews.
	As a Nazi, it's a huge burden.
	Zig, how are you doing?
	I wish there was six million a year.
	Zig, hello there.
	Just kidding, just kidding.
	Earlier, I've been saying that these people don't realize that they're dismantling the nuclear family, but we're up pretty high here if we're talking about a memo and a proposal.
	So who's this Rab cat?
	Let's see this rabb because I'm not absolving him of anything.
	This is, we're at the top.
	And you can tell he's full of shit because he said cis women, but just men.
	So he likes shitting on men.
	Go back and just find, like, during intercourse, and then find Rab, and then scroll up, and you'll see who the Rab is.
	Got him.
	Okay.
	Rab, now scroll up and find a Rab.
	Chris Rab.
	Pennsylvania state rep Chris Rab.
	And it's the, he introduced parody legislation.
	Oh, I love that.
	If men could have periods, tampons would be free.
	Ooh.
	You know, that's.
	Oh, ah, So he's an affirmative action higher leader.
	Looks like a Lynn Manuel Rucker.
	Darius Rucker Miranda.
	Wait, what's the book he's promoting there?
	Race and Politics.
	Invisible Capital.
	A metal spoon and a plastic spoon.
	I get it already.
	Great book.
	You can do it.
	I want to see what the book's about.
	Okay.
	Invisible capital.
	You know, you're lazy when you only introduce parody bills to make some sort of dumb liberal studies, social, bullshit, academia thing.
	That's the kind of thing you do in college.
	I want to propose a parody government where kids rule and it's the parents who go to school.
	Whop, whop.
	Switching it up to show you what's right in front of your face.
	This is his webpage, mister.
	Wow, this is great.
	I keep forgetting it's 1991.
	This is GeoCities?
	Is this the internet the military invented?
	How scientists can discuss various results?
	Coin the term invisible capital to represent those unseen forces that dramatically impact business, like systemic racism.
	Yeah, I love politicians telling us how to get rich.
	That's impossible to never.
	You know, on the rape thing, more on a rape thing.
	I saw a great point where it's like having an abortion after a rape doesn't take away the fact that she was a rape victim.
	It doesn't undo the rape.
	So she walks in a victim, but she walks out a victim and a murderer.
	And I was like, got him.
	I like your hair.
	No, this?
	Yeah.
	Thanks.
	How do you get it like that?
	You dye a blonde first?
	Well, first, I know this person locally that they've been going to beauty school.
	So for free for a while, she was doing my hair because she was in training.
	And then she just got her certification.
	So she's been charging me about half price, but it's so worth it.
	I would pay full price for this.
	I mean, she got the roots good, and the highlights look good.
	But the bangs are still your old bangs.
	With these?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, with the growing in my roots.
	Why is the shot so riggedy?
	Riggety?
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's on my phone.
	Oh, that's really rigged.
	Oh, so you're doing these on your phone?
	Yes.
	I see.
	Like this.
	Oh, that's cool.
	I look like Elad.
	Oh, let me ask you a question.
	Excuse me, sir.
	Can I ask you a question?
	That's pretty good.
	He's such a nondescript man, but wow.
	All right, let's go to the mailbag.
	We got cut short last time.
	That's right.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a tend.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Okay, so I got this letter a long time ago.
	You may have trouble finding it, Ryan, because you're a dunce.
	Uh-huh.
	But it really stuck with me for a long time.
	And it's from a man named Anonymous.
	Hello, G-Dog and Master of the Fag Zone.
	You know, Ryan doesn't live in the Fag Zone anymore.
	That's correct.
	We may have to drop that.
	You've been saying that divorced dads are total failures a lot these days.
	It's great you found a woman that hasn't totally drank the Kool-Aid and didn't get brainwashed by the media, but that isn't the same for all of us.
	You claim we are failures.
	However, with a brainwashed cunt, the only way to salvage that relationship is to cuck to their ridiculous demands.
	So, you think it is better to turn into a faggot that watches RuPaul's drag race with your bitchy fat wife than live like a man with morals and principles?
	Dude, I don't know if watching a corny show is exactly compromising your principles.
	You give suggestions to her and she only blames you for her problems.
	Then you adjust your lifestyle to accommodate this bitch and it's still not enough.
	I love my daughter with everything in me and having a person in your life trying to tear her away from you just for being the person you are is a pain you may never understand.
	No, I do understand that pain.
	I've been through that.
	And actually losing that fight is something I haven't experienced.
	And that's the part that really stuck with me.
	I mean, there's nothing I care more about than my children.
	And having them torn from me as I desperately fight to hold on to them, that's something I don't give enough credit.
	And I should.
	Having some rich dickhead who thinks he is above it rub it in your face is not a way to garner more customers.
	I like what you do, but I bet a lot of men who watch this show are in a situation where they do not want to compromise who they are to submit to a brainwashed asshole's idea of how you should live your life.
	So I assume you're talking about a marriage that's falling apart because you're MAGA and she's not.
	And then you're fighting for custody of your daughter.
	Yeah.
	But how did it get there?
	I mean, my wife and I, she's kind of red pill now, but that's a very recent development.
	Possibly even like last summer.
	And before that, she was like, why did you bring all this misery upon our family?
	Like, why have you ruined my children's reputation forever?
	Why did you hurt my children?
	For your men's club?
	Because you like a president that I don't like?
	Fuck you.
	But we got past it because I watched RuPaul's drag race.
	Maybe have some compassion for people going through a situation you would have one of your night terrors about.
	That's a really good line.
	I have that dream all the time.
	The creative imagery in your dreams pales in comparison to the things I experience when I sleep.
	Cheers.
	So that's a doozy we should talk about.
	I mean, Ryan and I have argued about this on the show where he's like, no, once a crazy bitch is a crazy bitch, there's nothing you can do.
	And to that, like Louis C.K., that was his defense with his early divorce.
	Like, oh, why'd you marry her then?
	Why'd you get knocked up?
	Why'd you come in her if she's a crazy bitch?
	She just became crazy one day.
	And then as far as this national divorce with like, I hate you because you're a proud boy, is it compromising your morals to not tell her you're in the Proud Boys?
	You only meet once a month.
	It's compromising your morals to tell her you don't believe in the First Amendment or the Second Amendment.
	But is avoiding politics with a woman who's going through a crazy liberal phase, is that compromising your ideals?
	You got to keep women on a need-to-hoe basis.
	So them hoes only need to know so much.
	You also, and I'm sorry I shat on you, sir, but you also have to sort of guide the ship and make it clear early that you're the boss, even on a microcosm scale.
	Like, for example, last night my daughter was having a shower, and she's very lazy about the shower curtain.
	We have an old house, and I see water dripping down.
	So I run up and I go, is the shower?
	My wife's like, is the shower curtain side to side?
	Touching both things.
	And I know in her teenage mind, she's like, yeah, it's kind of roughly from here to from here to here.
	And I'm like, no, it has to be like sealed here and sealed here against the wall.
	Why we got rid of the fucking sliding doors, I'll never know.
	My wife didn't like the look of them.
	And then she's like, honey, it's got to be up.
	And I go, and then I interrupt my wife and she goes, she goes, and I say, sealed, like the wall that the shower head's coming from, it has to be sealed against that.
	And then my wife goes like this to me, like, I've got this.
	And so I, I don't hit her.
	I just sort of push her arm away that was pushing me away, like, hey.
	And I continue explaining what I'm explaining.
	And then my wife goes, oh, shit.
	I know it sounds like I'm saying you got to keep those bitches in line.
	But what I'm saying is you, you have to assert yourself from day one as the patriarch.
	And she's allowed to have her own politics.
	I'm not saying this is a MAGA house, bitch.
	But you establish yourself as the alpha, yourself as a patriarch.
	And I'm not saying this applies to you, by the way, writer, letter guy.
	But that's what I try to get across when I say divorce is a sign of failure.
	I guess the best example is my friend Yashua Ocon.
	He's a Mexican photography guy, teaches it at art school.
	And him and his wife, Chicken Legs, were very close friends of ours for many years.
	I met him back in Vice days.
	And then they got divorced.
	And he just, he's like, what can you do?
	He's Jewish, Mexican, which is weird.
	And he's like, what can you, how do you do Mexican?
	What are you guys doing?
	What are you doing?
	Because what can you do when a woman, you know, she doesn't want you?
	But he's rich, so it's more like, what can you do when a woman doesn't want you?
	More like Spanish.
	And then he met her at a party.
	I've told you this story before.
	And he doesn't see her.
	I want to say hi to chicken legs.
	We haven't talked in a while.
	They don't have kids.
	And then he goes into the bathroom and then she's in there, mascara pouring down her face, crying.
	You know what she says?
	She screams, why didn't you fight for me?
	Those are the cases I'm talking about.
	If you're an outlier and your wife literally lost her mind and went crazy, then I understand it's a fucking nightmare.
	But I just find that as we learned with that essay earlier, and when I say essay, I mean Mexican guy.
	No, the one about divorce.
	They're just, it's too accepted.
	There's not enough stigma on divorce.
	It's like, oh, well, I've even met people that were like, and then she took the kids and then she moved to Nebraska and I didn't see the kids.
	What?
	No.
	First of all, it's illegal for a woman to move that far.
	Yeah, I know, but I gave her permission.
	What?
	No, you got to fight.
	Never stop fighting for the marriage, for the kid.
	Even Kanye, he lives across the street now.
	But yes, it was a very intense letter you sent, sir, because it made me think of things that I hadn't thought of before.
	I can't imagine what it's like to want to see your kids and have them ripped from you.
	I really, I would go fucking psycho.
	Like murderer.
	Psycho!
	I also got another letter that I wanted to.
	This guy got fired for putting let's go, Brandon.
	Wait, why isn't this coming up?
	Biden says, let's go, Brandon.
	Yeah, we all know that.
	Hmm.
	Maybe it's in...
	Sometimes people...
	Don't send me letters, dudes.
	They just get lost.
	I never see them.
	It has to go to the mailbag.
	Okay?
	Now I'm wrecking the show.
	Are you happy now?
	I'm looking, looking, looking.
	He got fired.
	Maybe I'll just put in I got fired.
	Oh, this is terrible TV.
	Imagine they did this on Tucker.
	Here we go.
	I got fired today.
	No, that's not it.
	I told my boss we don't get paid enough here and said that you might as well feed us shrimps and grits, truck driving in California for a grocery chain.
	Fuck those pussies.
	Also, Ryan has been hilarious lately, and I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Here we go.
	I got fired for posting Let's Go, Brandon.
	I worked for public.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	This is a call about our special.
	I'm lining up a bunch of interviews from people who were there at the meandering.
	And they always say, I got to talk to my lawyer.
	I'll call you back.
	By the way, you know why my voice is hoarse?
	Why?
	Because the workout today was so insane that I was screaming.
	I have to try that.
	Like my workouts, if you looked at them, you'd go, oh, that lady's having a pretty good workout.
	Is this aerobics?
	So the weight, the bar was only 35 pounds.
	Okay?
	Yeah.
	But it's this whoomph.
	And then one, two, 15 times.
	And then it's over to the thing you pull to your belly button.
	That's 50 pounds.
	I do that 15 times.
	And then I do those two three times.
	And by the end of that, when you're doing the 35 pounder for the boom, boom after it's your 45th time, you're screaming.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what you train to do is very hard.
	It's for, you know, strength and conditioning, so that way you last a long time.
	It's not to build big old muscles like that.
	Yeah, like my son goes, how much can you bench press?
	And I'm like, I don't know.
	I think 35 pounds.
	It's never about 30.
	I can do 35 pounds 45 times.
	Yeah, I don't count.
	I just try to see what I could do eight reps with and fail.
	You want to go to failure?
	But yet again, that's different from what you're doing.
	Well, we do do that at the end.
	We do push-ups.
	You do push-ups, not a number though.
	Push-ups until your arms fall off.
	Then sit-ups until your stomach is shooting blood.
	And then back to push-ups until your limbs snap.
	And your toes fly off.
	And then sit-ups until the police come by and say, is everyone okay here?
	And then you do push-ups again until there's a nuclear war.
	And then you do sit-ups until the human race is gone and there's no planet.
	Oh, I see.
	That's my biggest fear, by the way, that there won't be a planet for our grandkids.
	That is sad.
	Where'd the planet go?
	It's gone.
	For the squirrels and stutch.
	Part of my job was updating the digital signs at the train stations.
	On one slow day, I posted Let's Go Brandon on one of the signs at a train station for a brief moment.
	Days later, a Karen passenger complained about it on Twitter.
	My boss found out it was me because IT threw me under the bus.
	Pussies, snitches.
	Fucking watched the show The First 48.
	If no one snitched, crime could go rampant.
	Every episode of The 48, it's the cops going, if he doesn't start snapping, we got nothing and we're going to have to let everyone go.
	And then they snap.
	I was put on paid leave and then subsequently fired.
	I was told that posting anything political or religious was totally unacceptable, but we all know that if I had posted Black Lives Matter for 30 seconds instead of LGB, I would not even be in the hot seat.
	That is inarguable.
	That's a fact.
	The transit company I worked for was semi-public, semi-private, but do you know the kind of political messaging kids are exposed to at public school by teachers and staff?
	Yeah, that's a good point.
	They should all be fired too.
	Like, I get that you were fired, by the way.
	I think it's noble that you did it, but you had to know you were jumping on a landmine.
	I think it's great.
	And you're totally right about everything you say.
	And I want teachers fired for Black Lives Matter and Antifa shit.
	But you had to know that you were playing with fire.
	The transit company I worked for was semi-public, semi-private, blah, blah, blah.
	Sorry.
	It never ends.
	And no one bats an eye unless you suggest global warming might not kill anyone.
	At least the day when I got in trouble, my wife told me she's pregnant with our first.
	Congratulations.
	So that's a good example of get fired, get in trouble.
	That's a great way to get fired.
	Okay, let's just do one last one.
	I'm back to work.
	Woohoo.
	I got fired a couple months ago.
	Cussed out the VP of operations of a large company.
	Laughing my ass off.
	Damn, Irish temper gets the best of me sometimes.
	But my boss, his boss, and the union got my job back.
	He won the battle, but I won the war.
	I was right.
	He was wrong.
	Shouldn't have used curse words.
	That's not allowed in my contract, apparently.
	Anyway, it cost me 25 grand altogether.
	Fuck me.
	That's a great one.
	That's a perfect example.
	I get kind of scared of the get-fired thing because it implies, if you're not paying attention to the overall big picture, that I just want you to fuck up your life and just be like, hey,
	good morning, faggots.
	What is this, National Nigger Day?
	Don't do that.
	But if you're totally constrained and you can't be yourself and you're having to kiss ass, and I don't mean be polite.
	I mean like pretend you love Biden and pretend you don't like Trump and pretend you don't support the First Amendment and pretend you don't think people should have guns.
	If you're forced to be someone you're not, that's not the place for you.
	That's no way to live your life.
	Now, everyone has parameters.
	I want to show my kiddie porn collection on this.
	I have over six terabytes of child porn.
	Terrible joke.
	No, but we all have parameters, and you should follow those within a normal level of decency.
	But not to the point where you're giving yourself cancer with self-hatred.
	All right, it's time for the final video.
	So I thought this was funny.
	There's this, you show the second video first.
	There's this dude, Detroit Threat Management or something.
	And he's this black grifter who does that dumb shit about how point a gun at me.
	And then, and whenever the person's pointing the gun, they're always like this, like, and then what I do is I take it away, and I point it at you.
	It's what every single kid did in the fourth grade.
	We'd have a stick that looks like a gun.
	Is that, that's not the right one.
	I said the second one.
	I thought that was the second one.
	I don't think it is.
	How could you, yeah, that's the second one.
	How could you not see that?
	Not see.
	What?
	Not see that.
	Okay.
	Wait a minute, though.
	So you only saw one, and then you said this must be the second one?
	No, no, no.
	This is the first one.
	And then did I get it wrong?
	I believe so.
	So the first one.
	This is the 13249 is the one by the wood fence.
	Yes, this is the second one.
	Oh, I get it.
	I had them in the correct order, and I thought I didn't.
	So, okay, my bad.
	I apologize.
	That's not who I am, and that's not what this network represents.
	You will, well, I can't say you won't see that again.
	You'll probably see that tomorrow.
	This isn't what you wanted, and I'm sorry.
	That's not who we are.
	That's not who I am.
	Those never work.
	Have you noticed?
	When they get up and they go, last week I said something I deeply regret.
	I did not know the cameras were on.
	That is not who I am.
	Anyone who knows me knows that I have never been anything like that.
	I apologize, and it will not happen again.
	I know this isn't what you want, and I'm Sorry.
	Hey, directors, that's not how gays do their makeup.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	So show the first one now.
	Okay.
	I was wrong.
	Anyway, everyone jokes about him, and usually the joke is they grab the gun, they do the trick, and then they're in heaven.
	Now, if the gun is to the rear of your head, pen here to the column, drive away.
	It'll peel out.
	So there's a whole montage of those of how stupid it is to, like, go back to the beginning of that video.
	How stupid it is to just say, just grab the gun, twist it around.
	No, just put your hands up.
	If you could possibly run away, run away.
	You're not getting his gun, dude.
	Let me show you how to grab the bullet.
	See, the way that worked was...
	We're still getting it.
	Now we slow it down for those.
	The way it works is you have to dodge it and grab the bullets.
	You see how I caught it.
	Then you have to beat up the perpetrator and then grab the gun.
	That one's not so funny.
	No, you're in possession of it.
	The heaven one was the funniest one.
	And then there's a...
	You turn around and walk away.
	I'm missing.
	As you try to back up, you're going to get swarmed and you're still going to be dominated and you're going to move.
	What you should do is this.
	Circles?
	Believe me, you do not want to do this.
	You don't.
	All right, you asked for it.
	You asked for it.
	So this guy's brand is at stake here.
	He's becoming a laughingstock, but he's still going.
	He's got that determination.
	Never stop fighting or never stop teaching people how to fight.
	And so these Korean kids go in and they just, they got the gun.
	And then when he goes through the grab, they just go, I say Korean, white people.
	They just happen to have slanty eyes.
	They just pull back and they can't grab the gun.
	So that goes viral.
	And then he has to explain it.
	So here he is explaining why they cheated and it's not fair.
	So the technique only hurt because you resist it when there's no need to resist.
	You can just feel the discomfort and go with it.
	So he, you know, took it personal, apparently, and got up and was complaining about this pain in his wrist.
	And he's, you know, hurt and everything.
	And I thought, well, you know, let me just take it easy.
	So let's switch to gun disarms, back to gun disarms.
	We'd already been doing gun disarms.
	So he already knows what we're going to do.
	But he's already been watching the videos before he came here anyway.
	And what's interesting is, instead of focusing on shooting as a violent criminal would do, he focuses on limp wristing and running away as I go to disarm the weapon.
	And when I came to disarm the weapon, because we have a room full of students in the background, which includes children, we did not want to rush forward because, number one, we could actually hit people in the room, but also this individual was just complaining about being hurt.
	So I was trying to be nice to him.
	So I was going to show just the gun disarm, not what we would do in real life in a situation.
	It's too ridiculous.
	Shut up, Grifter.
	You're full of shit.
	Turn around, you walk away.
	I can't believe two people have said that.
	It's not a turn of phrase.
	I've never said it in my life.
	I've said, get the fuck out of here.
	I've never said you turn around and you walk away.
	You turn around and you walk away.
	That should be mailbox things, dude.
	Oh, no, no, sorry.
	Final videos.
	Well, now we switch to, we're done with the final video, right?
	Yeah, I guess so.
	All right, folks, that's enough Gav for one day.
	Tomorrow we have Compound Censored.
	I haven't seen old Kumia in fucking two weeks.
	So we've got a lot of catching up to do.
	A lot of racially risky comedy to get to.
	And I like this idea of focusing on one or two important things so we can really get into them.
	I think it's important to look at Patton Oswald and the way people treat someone who could have killed his wife.
	But it's not racism.
	It's like Jeffrey Dahmer, right?
	They're doing a documentary about him.
	He finds out about it.
	He calls up the people, contacts them somehow, and says, look, I was eating blacks because I lived in a black neighborhood.
	I'm not racist.
	I'm just a cannibal.
	Take it easy.
	And it's not even racist that everyone's avoiding.
	It's potentially racist.
	You like Trump, so you might be racist because some racists like Trump.
	So you're dead to me.
	Of course, if you're literally dead to me, that's not a big deal.
	And then, of course, we have the war on family where some people are doing it knowingly, like these shithead politicians, and some of them are just following the culture like lemmings off a cliff.
	And that's where we're headed if we let the family fall apart.
	I got all these people interviewing me about Proud Boys.
	There's like 10 Proud Boys books coming out.
	And they're like, what good have you done?
	I'm like, you don't see the toy drives.
	You don't see the number of guys who finally put a ring on it.
	You don't see the number of couples who contact me and go, we've got a baby coming.
	You don't see that because it doesn't make for saucy news.
	So you just find a guy drunk at a party who's Zieg Hild and pretend it's the second coming of the Nazi movement because you're weak and stupid and you don't understand the importance of family, which is exactly what the Marxists are going for.
	China doesn't want to invade us militarily.
	It's too hard.
	But polluting us from the inside with fentanyl, with COVID, and with this bullshit notion that our culture doesn't matter and our families don't exist, that is a much more effective way to destroy a people than a bomb.
	And guess what?
	We're not going to let them.
	So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	What's that?
	Say that again.
	Love you today, cause it's it or tomorrow.
	I feel no pain or no.
	Just call me your modern day psycho.
	Cause I just told y'all before, watch my flow.
	Y'all, there ain't no.

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