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Dec. 28, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:11:11
S04E68 - YOUR HEROES ARE MURDERERS
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Time Text
That's the Baboon Show.
Scandinavian band.
Europeans are always a little bit corny.
Maybe it's not having blacks in their country.
They just seem a little hokey sometimes.
I don't know about all their other songs, but that's a good one to put on a mixtape.
It's fun.
I think I have Omicron.
Omicron.
Omicron.
People make fun of Joe Biden because he says Omicron.
Okay, well, they can make fun of me.
My lower half of my torso is always cold.
I can't get warm.
I'm actually wearing insulated pants today to try to stay warm.
And I heard Cernovich actually say, he goes, check 16C.
He goes, what if this is God's plan?
Omnicron is a natural...
What is it?
Omicron?
Omicron.
That's a bad name.
Omnicron is a way better name.
Or Omicron.
But it has the hard O. Omicron.
That's a lame name.
I'm calling it Omicron.
How ironic is it going to be if Omnicron is nature's vaccine and all the holdouts got a mild cold, natural immunity, and no shots?
That's what I think I'm getting right now.
I think God slash nature put this out as a little sort of a mild version that's way more contagious.
So everyone gets it, and then you learn how to fight it.
This is like the real update.
The other one was like the beta with all the bugs.
And this is like the real iOS update.
It's so weird having a cold.
This feels like I have a little ice pack on.
Yeah.
Weird.
So we are day two of the fun post-Christmas shows.
Kwanza is deep, deep in the background.
Goodbye, Kwanzaa.
It's fun while it lasts.
I hardly knew ye.
Fucking losers.
As someone with Omicron, I'm not going to be very exciting today.
So don't get your hopes up.
Let's just dive into it, shall we?
Should we do that?
Let's start the show.
Are you saying that right now...
I'm saying Monster Truck should come from here.
You're saying that we start the show.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let go.
And it's true.
We got some My Pet Biden stuff to do.
Should we jump right into that?
Of course.
Some of these are going to be a little outdated because there's a lot of leftovers here.
But I can't remember who I was talking about this with.
I think it was John's wife, Zanoa.
Fucking speaking of that, I got a really annoying email.
Some dude named Harry Fox says started this rumor that I raised $60,000 for the New York Nine.
That's the first guys who were prosecuted, not prosecuted, arrested.
First nine warrants for my talk.
He raised 60K, gave it to me, and I just fucking took it.
I just spent it on shit.
Got me a vintage car.
Fuck the New York Nine.
That's as bad as the rumor that Sandy Bockham started that I turned everyone in.
For the record, I said, don't talk to the police, don't do anything.
And then there's a warrant out for your arrest.
Well, that's different.
When there's a warrant out for your arrest, you got two options.
Go on the lamb or turn yourself in.
And I think they both have their pluses and minuses.
Like, what if John had gone on the lamb?
He would have had, he might have had four years of his kids.
Would they really have gone to Chicago to catch him?
I don't know.
Maybe.
So I got them all lawyers, and all but three of them got away.
Didn't get charged.
And I don't know if me quitting helped.
We'll never know.
Some people say don't even get a lawyer when you're a political prisoner like that because it's already set in stone.
Like these guys, I saw this article in BuzzFeed about Jay Johnson.
Now I'm all over the place.
I'm cannibalizing my notes.
Jay Johnson from Mr. Show, and he's a good friend of mine.
He was down there and he's also Jimmy Pesto on Bob's Burgers.
And he was just recently cancelled.
Where is that now?
That should be in the meandering.
Wait, didn't I put it in here?
I didn't see BuzzFeed, but Meandering?
What the frig?
Daddy, I made a mistake.
Written house.
Proud Boys.
Jay Johnson.
Oh, it's cut off.
That's the trick.
10B.
You know what's funny?
I think part of the problem is that we were texting before.
And then go to the next link.
So I appeared in his texts.
But guess what I was saying in the texts?
Don't go.
It's a trap.
You've got to see.
Look at those three guys.
So this 600-word little bitchy snitch fest took Three men to create, and I think if you combine their testosterone, you might make it up to an eight-year-old girl.
Like, click on their names.
First, there's this little man.
Hi, I did some research.
Look at my shirt.
And then there's this guy, Marlo Stern.
I got my little beanie on.
I don't wear suits, but I am the senior entertainment editor at Daily Beast.
They all went to Columbia, you'll notice.
And they're never going to work again.
Look at that.
None of these guys we just saw have ever been in a fight ever in their lives.
And they probably never will.
But what I think a lot of these young journalists don't understand is when you work at a snitch place, like in my day it was Gawker.
Now it's Daily Beast, you're permanently unemployable.
No one wants you after Huffington Post because you're worse than the Tattletale journalist at the New York Times.
You're the bottom of the snitch category.
Anyway, that's an interesting article.
Look at it for a sec.
The aftermath of the deadly Jan 6.
I keep thinking this first part is the first guy we saw.
Maybe just because of chronological order.
But though numerous alleged writers have been picked up or charged by the feds, that's not good enough for these people.
It's not good enough.
No, no, no, no.
You need to be what?
What do you want to happen to the people who trespass?
Do you honestly believe it's an insurrection?
Do you honestly believe that unarmed people were going to take over the government and hang Mike Pence?
Just play out your version of events.
All right.
They win.
They kill everyone.
AOC, the squad, they're all dead.
Bodies piled outside.
I guess they, like, what, they have guards that surround the building.
Wouldn't the National Guard come in and mow down those people?
No, they don't.
Okay, so the people put up a perimeter around the Capitol after they invade it.
Now, what's day two?
Tell me day two.
They start talking about roads and education and energy.
They reinstate Trump.
What fucking Adventure Time cartoon are you living in?
So now Trump is the president?
Yes, they tried to violate our democracy.
They were in a bad mood because they got fucked over.
Okay, they broke a couple windows.
They meandered.
They trespassed.
And the punishment, you're correct in that the punishment doesn't fit the crime, but you're wrong in that you think it's too little.
It's way too much.
Fucking Buffalo Shaman, he's got, what, three years or something?
What?
He didn't even break anything.
We have footage of him wandering in going, hey, it's my favorite dudes.
Bazaar.
Hey, guys.
With a cop walking behind them going, God, do you guys think you could break anything?
Yeah, we won't.
Of course, one of our people, a patriot, was trampled to death with the help of police getting on top of her.
We also had another girl, another patriot shot in the neck by Capitol Cops.
We also have zero evidence of police killed there.
Both the guy who you said died of the fire extinguish to the head was false.
You said he died of pepper spray to the face.
You were wrong.
Pathetic.
It really is pathetic.
I hate you if you think that the insurrection was a big deal.
And it's funny how badly the left wanted me to be there.
Ellen Forth, the New York Times laughing.
Even my liberal neighbors telling other liberal neighbors, he was at the insurrection, you know.
Fuck you.
I hate you.
But go back to that article.
You've got to read this thing.
It's not long.
Three men each wrote 200 words, I guess.
Blah, blah, blah, have been bombarded with subpoenas and expensive lawsuits.
Wait, wait.
No, no, go up one.
Sorry.
Wait, is that the very beginning?
Yeah.
Okay, go to the beginning there.
The aftermath, though numerous alleged writers and several magic personally have been bombarded with subpoenas, many of the leaders in lawmakers, managers, have escaped an actual reckoning.
What the fuck?
Did they change the verbiage since I've read this?
Because when I read it, it said criminally underpunished have escaped an actual reckoning.
I guess that's the line I saw in my Omicron brain isn't working.
They have escaped an actual reckoning.
Joe Biggs and Ethan Nordine have been in solitary confinement for a year.
Can you imagine any of these three goon pussies surviving the shoe for, I don't know, a day?
Try 300 days.
Holy shit.
Joe Biggs hasn't seen his daughter in a year?
Pretty amazing.
After all, the leader of the failed coup, President Trump.
See, that's why no one will ever hire anyone from the Daily Beast.
It's just a fact to them that the leader of the coup was Donald Trump.
That's proven to them.
He's still the undisputed protected leader of his party, blah, blah, blah.
His anti-democratic lies about the election.
So it's proven.
It's beyond.
There's no allegedly there.
It's just a fact that Trump led the insurrection and the election was 100% legit.
I mean, even good liberal journalists don't talk like that.
They say scant evidence to prove that the election was stolen and what many, who many see as the leader of the coup.
Anyway, majority post-Gen Sex jail time has been shouldered not by the leaders, but by the Capitol invaders from the ground that day.
Just because Donald Trump managed to escape a reckoning, so that's they're using the same phrase twice, doesn't mean Jimmy Pesto did.
And this is really where their expertise is.
Their degrees, their dissertations, they're all about cartoons and Beavis and Butthead.
So just like that guy, Ture, you know, he's on TV, he's on MSNBC, had his own show.
And you look him up, his education is he did his PhD in Prince, and he's just got a new book out on Prince.
That's really where these people flourish.
So we have entertainment writers pretending that they have any kind of political knowledge.
Scroll down.
Doopy-doopy-doo.
We all know Jay Johnson, Mr. Show, Anchorman.
Don't forget the Sarah Silverman show.
So they get some snitches within the show to say that he's banned.
Keep going down.
None of the executives will confirm it.
He was a favorite.
Now they get into all the details.
Like you read the for some reason we need to get into Jimmy Pesto Sr. and what he was all about.
And you read this paragraph and you're like, did you guys ever miss an episode?
Johnson's 53.
He looks very good, by the way, in these pictures.
So no comment.
Keep going down.
They published his face, and I think that's my fault.
And we're done.
His name first surfaced as a potential participant.
The FBI put a poster out of him.
Like, don't you think that's a little extreme?
He wasn't in the Capitol.
Like, the building.
He didn't go there.
But they had to track him, and they got him.
And they, I told you this already, right?
They went to his house.
They took his computer, took his phone.
Thank God his daughter wasn't there.
Okay, go back to the article, though.
I'm in it.
Oh, yeah, so keep going down.
So the FBI was looking for him.
And then they have Cassandra Church, who's just some random chick.
Dan Harmon has really been hard.
This is the insider scoop now.
Dan Harmon has really been into destroying Jay's career because he's an anti-Trump guy.
And look at the, like, this, the entertainment staff missed out on this concept.
We now demand that when we watch a cartoon, that all of the actors, all the voices that we hear share the same political opinions as us, and those opinions are liberal.
Like, that's past Orwell.
What the fuck?
So what?
You're watching fucking Beavis?
Actually, Beavis and Butthead, Mike Judge, was pretty right-wing.
He probably would have been at the Capitol if this was 20 years ago.
So they have snitchy Dan Harmon, who I guess uses Cassandra Church, some other dude that we've never heard of.
And then we have Tim Heidecker, who typical Tim Heidecker, right?
He outs Jay, fucks with him.
This is at the very beginning, and then pussies out and deletes his tweets and then says, no, I just didn't want this to become like evidence in a trial.
Tim Heidecker is the enemy.
He gets Sam Hyde canceled, and here he is trying to destroy Jay Johnson for daring not to be liberal.
That's his crime.
In addition to his reputed fondness for Trump, Johnson is also an associate of me in my now defunct show, founder of the Proud Boys, which saw over 60 of its members arrested.
That's not true.
It was 13.
McInnis has since desperately tried to distance himself from others.
And of course, they quote The Guardian.
That distancing thing happened not from that.
Well, I don't know what the since is, right?
The since can be anything.
Could be 2015.
Yeah.
Or since I founded it.
Cleverly put there.
Anyway, we're off at a couple of tangents here.
We meant to do My Pet Biden.
So let's do the interstitial for My Pet Biden and we can get to the meandering.
Biden.
Biden.
President.
Sleepy.
Wait, what?
That doesn't rhyme.
So yeah, all those tangents started because I was talking to Zenoa Kinsman about how you look back at presidents and they become totally different.
Ronald Reagan was kind of a silly Hollywood clown when he was president.
Now they look back at him as one of the greatest presidents of all time.
And granted, my perspective is a little different because I was a teen, a punk teen who hated Reagan back then.
Now I revere him.
Then there was Jimmy Carter, who wasn't really hated when he was president, and now he's seen as a complete fucking loser.
And George W. Bush was the laughingstock.
They used to play, he had, you know how Ricky isms from Trailer Park Boys, they used to play W. Bushisms.
Of course, the most famous one being Fool Me Once, don't fool me twice, won't get fooled again.
That's it.
That's how he remembered that particular saying, which I believe goes, fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me twice.
No, fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
It's a very simple thing.
I can't believe I just fucked it up.
But they look back on him, and I was saying to Zanoa, I think they'll look back on Biden as the worst president we've ever had, worse than Carter.
And then it reminded me of that Babylon B joke where they said Jimmy Carter revealed to discover he is no longer the worst president.
Carter says he's finally hopeful that he won't be the worst presidential failure in his lifetime.
Biden's economic ratings are worse than Carter's.
Another win for the Babylon B. So this poor Babylon Bee, they just can't joke enough.
It always becomes true.
That's the problem with Clown World.
You can't lampoon it or exaggerate because it ends up being real.
Is the Onion still around?
I haven't seen it in newsprint in 8 billion years.
I'm not exaggerating.
Yeah.
It is, is it?
Well, why are you saying yep?
What's the date on that new piece?
Nation gathers around Picky Eater to make sure.
So click on that.
Latest.
Now you can just click on, okay.
Click on the nation gathering around.
Today, 7 a.m.
That could have been their last article, and it was today.
But yeah, it looks like it's still around.
By the way, last thing with the Proud Boys.
If you think I stole 60 grand, talk to Max Hare.
Write him in prison.
Talk to John Kinsman.
Talk to Zenoa Kinsman.
Talk to Max Hare's dad, Rocky.
Talk to Max Hare's lawyer, Ron Hart.
All these people are available.
They all know me well because I've given them tens of thousands of dollars, including from my own pocket.
Don't just say a Rumor, you little pussy.
Kamala pissed at Charlemagne.
We used to like Charlemagne because we thought he was ballsy, and then we realized he's just another one of these America is racist dudes.
Remember that cracker thing he did on his own show?
He got his own show, and he just bitched you about crackers the whole time, which is a racial epithet, and it's an insulting one.
Everyone else says, why don't whites have racial epithets the way blacks and others do?
We do.
We just let them roll off our backs because we're not pussies.
But after Joe Manchin killed the Build Back Better, we're going back now like two weeks, Charlemagne decided that that's not right.
These people don't want democracy, by the way.
They want a dictatorship.
So when the democratic process works and someone votes something down, they go, this is bullshit.
Who's the president here?
The president should take care of it.
And by saying that, by you saying, why was the bill able to be killed?
Biden should just be able to push it through.
You're saying you want a dictatorship.
Maybe you can go back to Africa.
You can have one there.
We've got Mugabe, EDMN.
As far as living today, we've got, what's his name?
Shoot de bois.
What's his name?
Jacob?
Julian.
Julian something?
Shoot to kill.
Shoot the boar.
Kids sing that in a choir.
Oh, shoot the boy.
No, I'm not exaggerating.
Anyway, let's get to this.
Ancient Chinese secret by now, but whatever.
Who's the superhero that's going to speak against Joe Manchin?
I want to know who's the real president of this country.
What ship are you in?
Joe Biden or Joe Manchin.
Why are your feet dangling?
I interrupted.
I don't think the vice president can hear me.
It's the mom.
I'm so sorry, Charles Manchin.
We can't.
She can hear me.
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me, Madam Vice President?
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Imagine she just started rapping and she was really good.
So who's the real president of this country?
Is it Joe Mansion or Joe Biden, Madam Vice President?
It's Joe Biden.
I can't tell you.
No, no, no, no.
It's Joe Biden.
Space African set.
Oh, I get it.
It's Wakanda.
His set is like Wakanda.
I'm not joking.
I think that's what they're going for.
Like African Prince and space shit.
What a loser.
Like a Republican about asking whether or not he's president.
Do you think Joe Manchin is a problem?
And it's Joe Biden and it's Joe Biden.
And I'm vice president.
My name is Kamala Harris.
Who's the superhero that's going to speak against Joe Manchin?
I want to know who's the real president of this country.
Is it Joe Biden or Joe Manchin?
I interrupted.
I don't think the vice president can hear you.
It's Simone.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, so we're moving.
That's Simone.
What's her name?
Simone Sanders, the super bald, weird-looking chick.
She's not even ugly.
Oh, it's Julian Malema.
Right.
Look up Simone Sanders.
She's so disturbing.
She looks like a really exaggerated New Orleans cartoon.
Like the bad guy from The Princess and the Frog.
Oh, shit.
Which I'm sure you're familiar with.
I am.
I just saw that this past year.
Look at that.
What is happening there?
Is that ugly?
I don't know.
Like, don't you have to be human to be ugly?
It's almost cute.
Yeah, it's like a mask.
What is happening there?
Why did you choose that as a hairdo?
That's like a young male basketball player.
Oh, you mean this?
Those are some shoulders.
I'm jealous.
Oh, yeah.
I'm jealous of those shoulders.
Me too.
She can wear suspenders and not worry about them slipping over.
Give some of those shoulders to Joe DeRosa, damn you.
Cher.
Hogging all the shouldies.
She's a linebacker.
And then I thought, this was ballsy.
Let's have a cool black chick now to juxtapose against the cartoon face.
This was on Fox News.
And this woman gets on there and goes, she sucked a bunch of dicks to become vice president.
Pardon et moi?
Warning, this is a family show.
This is NSFW, folks.
As a woman, especially a black woman, it's really hard for me to say anything negative about Kamala Harris, considering she fought hand and knee to get where she is, and sex work is work.
However, you know, I don't think anyone believes this rhetoric.
The only people falling for this are those that mailed in two ballots.
You know, I just think it's funny that they want us to like someone who is just truly unlikable.
It's a woman.
Wow.
Perfectly summed up.
No stuttering, no pausing.
It sounds like she rehearsed it a hundred times.
And when I first heard it, I thought, oh, she got tooth and nail wrong.
She got the colloquialism wrong.
No.
Hand and knee.
Nice one.
So she squeezes in, she's a whore who sucked her way to the top.
The election was fake.
And this woman can't win another election.
She's perpetually unlikable.
In what?
How long was that clip?
40 seconds?
28 seconds.
Boom.
Who is this chick?
We should get her on the show.
Click on that.
Keep it naked.
A naked girl's guide.
Are you tired of going through life feeling like a miserable sack of shit?
Are you ready to strip, bare your soul, and live life?
So she's a stripper.
That's why she said sex work is real work.
I like her a lot.
Though I don't recommend stripping.
No.
Oh, so Joe did a press conference last week where he got real mad.
He said, think about the parents.
I don't have that in the notes.
You have a kid.
He's got this thing now where I think he thinks that it's tough or something, but it just comes across as an old chimp.
Like we know about chimps, right?
They're cute as can be when Michael Jackson has them and they wear a little diaper, but when they get older, they start getting worried about the alpha preying on them and they're holding back the pack, and you don't want to do that.
So they ramp up the sadism to keep themselves alive.
So we go, I was going to kill this old monkey.
Oh, it's got some spunk.
It might be good on a hunt.
Let's keep it around.
So that's what old chimps do.
And Biden is an old chimp.
And so he has these little outbursts of anger.
He's like, think of the parents.
We got 200,000 kids with type 1 diabetes.
You know what it's costing?
It costs somewhere between 10 cents and $10 to come up with the formula, okay, a while ago.
You know what it's costing on average?
$560, $640 a month, up to $1,000 a month.
To stay with diabetes?
If you're a mom and a dad working with minimum wage, busting your neck, you look at your kid, and you know if you don't get that vaccine for him, if you don't get that drug for him, if you don't get that, be able to take that,
what happens?
You're likely to go into a coma, maybe die.
He forgot the word insulin.
I don't want you to put the kid's life at stake.
You strip away all...
You can't sniff them.
You just don't smell good when they're dead.
You strip away all the dignity.
Here we go.
Parent looking at their child.
I'm not joking about this.
Imagine being a parent.
Is somebody laughing at you?
How could you not laugh?
I'm not joking about this.
Imagine being a parent.
Have a temper tentraman.
Punch me in the face as hard as you can for as long as you want.
I'm going to be reading a magazine.
Look at this wizard.
Looking at a child and you can't afford.
You have no house to borrow against.
You have no savings.
It's wrong.
It's wrong.
But all the things in that bill.
Why are our presidents and speakers of the house, why are they so fucking ancient?
Think about the parents.
He's got the diabetes.
He forgot the kid in his analogy had diabetes.
He can't get him the vaccine.
Not the vaccine, the insulin, the drug that he needs.
And I don't believe that parents of children with diabetes are out of pocket $640 a month.
That might be the cost to the insurance company.
What if they don't have insurance?
Diabetes.
Tell me, please, give me a list of the children who have gone into a coma, diabetic coma, because their parents couldn't afford insulin.
It's not a thing, Joe.
You don't need to get so angry about it.
Anyway, here he is saying the quiet thing out loud.
It's not who wins, it's who counts the votes.
Whoops.
Look at that mouth.
I didn't realize this, but someone, a girl at the bar was telling me that she goes, these guys, they tell you they're only 50, and then you go to date them, and they have the slit for a mouth.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
She goes, oh, that's a thing with men.
As they get older, they lose their lips.
It just becomes a slit.
I was like, wow, because that's Biden.
He's just got an opening.
And it looks like all the guys in horror movies.
You know, the man in that movie, Children of the Corn, where he's like, go now, something wicked this way comes.
Those kind of guys.
They all just have a little razor slit for a mouth.
It's ironic because it's ideal for a pussy.
Gay the right to vote in the rule of law and unrelenting assault from Republican governors, attorneys generals, secretaries of state, state legislators.
The struggle is no longer just who gets to vote or making it easy for eligible people to vote.
It's about who gets to count the vote and whether your vote counts at all.
Oh, who gets to count the vote?
And then here he is just trying to say the number 57 million, which is tough.
Here's the deal, Joe.
It goes 57, 000.
That's 57,000.
But if it goes 000 and then there's another 000, now we're at 57 million.
That's a lot.
Wait a minute.
Am I stupid?
Excuse me.
570.
Excuse me.
I want to read.
I'm not sure I got the right number.
The total number of boosters.
What?
5757 million boosters.
1 million a day.
This is the problem with doing a show while on Omnicon.
I end up making fun of people for making mistakes, and then I make the same mistakes.
All right.
Well, now we're talking about boosters.
I think it's a good segue to the old COVID Cavid.
Doodly doopy doopy-doop-doop.
COVID, she shan shinling.
That one's kind of growing on me, actually.
Short, sweet.
Yeah, they should be all.
I should have specified the times.
I thought this was an interesting human.
By the way, having Omnicron gives me zero fear.
Zero.
Another thing Cernovich said was he goes, you got to hand to these anti-vaxxers.
I mean, they're literally putting their life on the line.
I don't feel like that at all.
I don't feel any kind of like, should I go to the hospital?
I would feel more fear from the vax.
That same chick who told me the Chelsea Handler thing, she said she didn't get the booster, but she got two Moderna's.
First Moderna was fine.
Second Moderna, did I tell you this already?
She has pains down her legs.
Like doing a burpee would be like having AIDS.
Any kind of thing that involves bending down and getting up again, pains shooting down her legs.
Weird.
But yeah, let's have some perspective here with the deaths and media attention.
Fentanyl overdoses now kill more Americans aged 18 to 45 than COVID, cancer, car accidents, and suicide.
And what do We hear about in the news when it comes to young people?
COVID.
No fentanyl.
Isn't it interesting that something that makes big pharma look bad is totally ignored and something that we need big pharma to help us with gets the spotlight?
And then when they're done saying that on the news, we cut to an ad from a pharmaceutical company?
Isn't that an odd quinky dink?
And isn't it odd that fentanyl and COVA both come from China?
So China is waging a silent war on our country.
No, we already talked about that, Ryan.
China's waging a silent war on our country.
And our first reaction is, how can we get Big Pharma rich from this attack?
We'll let the kids die of fentanyl overdoses, and then we'll get big pharma rich with the COVID thing.
If they could find a quick cure for fentanyl and big pharma was paying for it, you'd see fentanyl in the news every day.
That's actually could also go and warrant kids.
And this is ancient news.
I'm not even sure we should show this, but remember a couple weeks ago, this whole thing for the unvaccinated, you're looking at a winter of severe illness and death for yourselves, your families in the hospitals who may soon overwhelm.
You thought that was going to go away because it's embarrassing.
And it's on a website.
You can just delete it.
But then, no, then Biden reads it out.
At least he can read this one thing, 18B.
Yeah.
It's right after the last one.
We are looking at a winter of severe illness and death for unvaccinated.
For themselves, their families, and the hospital, they'll soon overwhelm.
I can't read it right, actually.
He started with we are looking for, then he had to squeeze in for the unvaccinated.
Did you see Beetlejuice there?
The Mayor Lightfoot said this does seem like it's inconvenient or untenable or something.
And it's like that by design.
We have made life miserable for the unvaxed on purpose.
One theory that's floating around is that all these mayors have been told, fix your shit because we can smell the midterms looking really, really bad for us.
This Joe Manchin thing is bad news.
So get COVID in order and more importantly, get your crime in order.
Because now we've got Betelgeuse begging for the National Guard to come and declare a state of emergency because she defunded the police.
Why did we let the lunatics run the asylum again?
Why did we throw meritocracy in the garbage and start hiring people based on their race and gender?
Because they've been doing it with white males forever.
That's an assumption you made.
It's not true.
White males, for whatever reason, happened to disproportionately be better at leading and defending.
Actually, being white isn't a race.
That's in my notes later.
Yeah, it is inconvenient by design.
Ow.
And then, of course, it became a whole meme, the winter thing, 19B.
Sorry, this is...
You know what I just did with this winter thing?
You're making a leftover sandwich after Christmas, and you just got like a weird bit of brown meat that's kind of got like a chewy piece to it, and you're like, ah, what's that doing in there?
I just wrecked your sandwich.
Winter is coming, unvaxed peasants.
All right.
This is interesting.
So NYPD arrested this guy for ordering a sandwich without a mask on.
How dare he?
What a piece of shit.
American veteran was arrested for simply trying to eat food at a restaurant in New York City without a vaccine passport.
Make this video big, dude.
As big as you can.
So he's got a flag.
This black female cop just can't wait to get the flag off of him.
Like, relax.
It's just a flag.
But look at that.
She drops it on the ground.
And now look at this part.
What the fuck is that?
Show that again.
So she rips the flag from him, which there's an argument for that.
It could be a weapon, right?
But then she throws it on the ground and walks all over it.
Look at that.
She was not going in that direction, by the way.
Yeah, go back to her wrestling the flag.
And they're all like, I'll take it, I'll take it.
I don't want it to hit the ground.
No, you won't.
That was weird.
And this is why some of my non-NYPD cop friends, state troopers and the like, say, fuck the NYPD.
There's like an anti-cop thing going on within the police force right now where they are really mad at the NYPD for doing shit like what we just saw.
I'm not talking about standing the American flag, but arresting people for not wearing masks.
Which brings us to this poor bastard who a rookie gave him a lap dance at a birthday party.
Again, sorry, old news.
But what the fuck is the problem here?
If my wife walked into this party, it was my birthday party, and I was getting a lap dance, she would go like this.
Oh, very classy, Gavin.
Very classy.
Oh, my God.
All right, my dear, that's enough of that.
Jesus.
No, that's the second one.
Shit for brains.
7B.
You ruined the surprise there.
An arresting performance, shocking moment, rookie cop performs a lap dance for married MYPD lieutenant.
Like, married is a big deal.
It's basically as asexual as when women go to male strip clubs.
This is silly.
He did not have a boner.
It was just like a party parody.
Like, this is how blacks dance.
Right?
That's every black wedding.
Including kids.
They got little kids dancing like that with each other.
Black wedding?
Is that a thing?
Yeah.
It's a Billy Idol song.
Look, what's the crime here?
Imagine what a prude and a party pooper and a bummer this guy would be if she started doing that and he went, oh, that's enough of that.
I'm married.
He'd look like a homo.
She's a cop.
He's a cop.
He's having a birthday party.
Mind your own business.
How did this make the news?
One guy I spoke to about this because I sent it to a bunch of cop friends in their defense saying like, this is bullshit.
You didn't do anything wrong.
And they go, well, the only person that should be mad is his wife.
My wife would not be mad.
Would your wife be mad at that?
I think that's like her ass is like deep in his dick.
I would have a heart on.
No, you wouldn't.
Yes, I would.
Dude, I'm getting hard looking at this.
All your friends are around you laughing their heads off.
They're not there for me.
It's just, I'm alone.
No, you're not alone.
That's a crucial detail.
So anyway, this story blows up.
And then the woman, the rookie, I don't know if she's on leave or he, I think he's been transferred to transit cop.
We ask these people to die for us.
We allot a bunch of money.
And this is since the beginning of civilization.
We allot a bunch of money for these people.
We say, I don't want my daughter getting raped.
I don't want to get shot in the head.
Can you go out and protect me?
Okay, what's in it for me?
Money?
We'll let you retire early.
Okay, but aren't I putting my life on the line?
Yes.
Tell you what, we'll take it easy with you for jokes and stuff.
You can relax.
Like the Buddhist monks.
They used to protect the monasteries.
You know, they had the Chinese invading them and still are in East Timor.
So they said, okay, let's practice Wushu Kung Fu, which was a real thing.
Li Lianjie, Jet Li, that character Jet Li would play.
It's a real deal.
It's not just for the movies.
And they would do that to fight the Chinese, fight the invaders, fight the people that were trying to take over the, destroy the Buddhist monasteries.
And they said to the traveling soldiers, you can drink and eat meat.
We're bending the rules for you.
And they would.
In fact, they would fight drunk.
They invented a new kind of kung fu called drunken kung fu, which is a real thing.
And that's the origin of drunken kung fu.
When I lived in Taiwan, I was very bored and I had to look up something.
I had to watch some shit.
You know, when I was watching Lilianjie movies in Taiwan, they have Chinese subtitles on the bottom?
And I said to the guy I was staying with, why is a Chinese movie have Chinese subtitles?
And he goes, Mandarin is so hard that even when you're 60, you are looking at subtitles to understand it.
You're still mastering the language as an adult.
Anyway, so we let that pass, but we don't do that here.
Like, we let teachers make videos about how they're perverts and how they tell their kiddos, I hate that word, that they're, you know, polyamorous.
That's fine.
You can go and be a disgusting pervert and terrorize young people.
You can have 13-year-olds cut their tits off.
You can have surgeons remove 13-year-old girls' breasts.
But cops better not be funny and they better not be sexy.
And if they are sexy and funny at the same time, kill them.
Ruin their life.
So she's hysterical, 8B, crying, saying, Daddy, I made a mistake.
No, you didn't, sweetheart.
You're fine.
He's been reassigned.
The rookie's father said his...
The good news is the wife, they say the wife lashes out, and so they put that in the header to make you think, oh, she's dumping him.
No, she's lashing out at reporters saying, relax for fuck's sake.
So she's cool.
That blonde is cool saying, calm the fuck down, assholes.
I like to see that woman stand by her man.
Not if he did something terrible, but he didn't do anything.
He sat in a chair and laughed.
All right, let's do a brief written house bit.
I should make it a green screen, but this is a silly week.
Somebody hurt me.
I'm running into harm's way.
I can't leave you fuckers alone.
I'm going to fucking kill you.
All right, so this woman is mad that Carl Rittenhouse is being glamorized because he's a killer.
He's a young killer.
We know, everyone knows our stance on it.
We're not bananas about the BLM Proud Boys thing, but whatever, I'll forgive it.
His neighborhood was being terrorized.
When I was in the early aughts, there was a very popular t-shirt.
It said, Defend Brooklyn, and it had an AK-47.
The implication was shoot gentrifiers, kill people like me who were buying penthouse apartments in Brooklyn, and stop us from gentrifying.
So just for investing in their community, you deserve to die because they see it as harmful for the community.
It's bad for the community for these wealthy people to be, you know, forcing the schools to improve and trying to help things.
Okay, so that's punishable by death.
That's the fashion at the time, right?
What if you're literally burning down the neighborhood?
Can you defend it then?
Can you have a gun then?
No, because you just switched the politics.
So now, defend Kenosha is verboten.
So let's see.
I mean, even before we start, I know it's a written house thing.
It's Called These Are Our Heroes.
Look at your heroes.
I'm going to do a whole thing on that for when we come back from break.
I'm going to look at their heroes and our heroes.
Or maybe their heroes and our victims.
Like, you look at the Sarnev brother who's on the front page of Rolling Stone because he's gorgeous.
And then you have the little eight-year-old boy who was killed by Sarnev's bomb.
Everyone knows the Rolling Stone cover.
No one knows the little boy.
And you look at their heroes like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, absolute human garbage.
Breonna Taylor, that poor girl, she was just playing Uno.
Well, she was also fucking two drug dealers, carrying their money at all times, glorifying violence by posing with guns and saying, yo, he got my six.
They find a fucking dead body in her car.
But yeah, she's just an innocent victim randomly there.
George Floyd, even worse, pushing his gun into a woman's stomach, pistol whipping her.
Pregnant woman.
Yeah, but he couldn't breathe.
Fucking Mike Brown with his hands up when his hands weren't up.
Trayvon Martin beating the shit out of George Zimmerman.
And then you look at like the dancing grannies and all these people who don't get media attention.
But yes, Kyle Rittenhouse is a hero.
He went to defend his neighborhood.
He was very defensive about it.
Three disgusting career criminals.
Two of them, one of them's a pedophile.
The other beats women.
And then the third also beat women.
Yeah, it was two domestic abusers and a pedophile.
Sexual deviant, fucking monster assholes.
They kept pushing, kept pushing, kept pushing.
He took them out.
Okay, play this.
I'm going to have to stop this a few times.
It probably should have been a green screen.
So if you don't know this, Kyle Rittenhouse is currently on a MAGA media tour around the country.
He's doing radio interviews, touring the Dallas Cowboys locker room, and now he's a confirmed speaker at Turning Point USA's upcoming AmericaFest.
He's right there on their website.
American flag waving.
So what's Turning Point USA?
It's an organization that's devoted to...
Ow.
I still have those broken ribs, too.
Do you have any Advil?
No.
Each cough is getting shanked in the pen.
The point of Turning Point USA is to stop the Marxist plague that is taking over colleges and universities.
Right?
Not only is Kyle Rittenhouse a young person, but he was just kicked out of his school.
Sorry.
I don't think that was Omnicron.
I think that was a stray piece of ham from our leftover sandwiches that you're eating with me now.
We're reacting to a leftover sandwich while you're watching a leftover sandwich.
But yeah.
So he was booted out, ostracized from his school.
He wasn't going to be at the college, but because he was a stalwart of the right, he was kicked out of Arizona State prep, whatever the fuck it's called.
And he couldn't even go there as a Zoom call because people felt unsafe.
So, if you knew anything about what you're talking about, you silly cunt, this organization that's dedicated to stopping the war on conservatives in college is glorifying a guy, glorifying a guy who has been stripped of all his rights to education.
He is a pariah.
And I don't think you understand the level of pariah these people go on.
Nick Fuentes cannot get on an airplane.
He cannot travel.
Enrique Tario was kicked out of a hotel when they found out who he was.
And other Prowboys were prevented from booking hotels.
So I don't think you get the context of these people.
And she's like, he's not leading a normal life and just trying to be an innocent little kid.
Yeah, you and your side have prevented that from happening.
He doesn't have that right.
So they're saying, by making him a rock star at this thing, they're saying, you know what, dude, you're not a pariah.
You're a hero.
We love you.
And that's our only hope going forward is banding together and taking the people that have been canceled and saying, no, you're not canceled.
We'll get you a job.
Being away like a celebrity guest.
And he is a celebrity guest.
Yes.
Because a third of this country has turned this teenage murderer into a star.
Stop.
This isn't some traumatic.
Teenage murderer.
So what should he have done?
Allowed that guy to shoot him in the face?
No, he never should have been in Kenosha.
Really?
It's his neighborhood.
You assholes defunded and basically disarmed the police.
So should you just let your neighborhood burn down?
That wasn't his neighborhood.
He didn't live there.
Yes, he did live there.
He worked there.
His dad lived there.
That's his neighborhood.
And it was getting burned down.
You guys said the police are evil.
They're racist.
They shouldn't be able to do their jobs.
So what are you supposed to do?
This isn't some traumatized boy weeping hysterically.
Should he still be weeping non-stop?
He cried.
I thought it was a bit much, I'll concede.
But he cried when describing the murder that haunts his dreams.
This isn't when you're on stage being told you rule.
You don't need to be crying then, too.
Think of it as like someone who lost a loved one and he lost both his sons or something in a horrible attack by Antifa and he had come through it and there was a big ceremony celebrating him.
It's like, dude, we're with you.
We support you.
We know you went through hell.
You're allowed to smile when that happens, by the way.
You're allowed to enjoy yourself.
It's not a crime.
Boy, weeping hysterically on the stand after being forced to shoot three people.
This is a right-wing media, darling.
Kicking back, having some laughs, shooting off his opinion about basketball and girls.
He's not laying low and starting his life over like his lawyers.
This is why I played that video for that line.
He's not laying low.
Do you want to try living in his shoes for one second?
He can't lay low.
He needs round-the-clock security.
His dad, who nobody knows, needs round-the-clock security.
By the way, what in the Sam hell is going on behind her head there?
Can you zoom in on that?
It's like a pull-up bar.
Is it a pull-up bar?
In the door frame?
That's kind of weird for a chick.
It is.
Can chicks do pull-ups?
Bananas up high where you can't reach them.
That's good.
And what's that weird box?
Oh, that's your fridge.
Yeah, but there's some storage on the front.
Oh, I see hiding bananas.
Yeah.
And then maybe some sort of Bluetooth speaker.
Okay, that's acceptable.
It's not as bad as I thought.
You're lucky, lady.
You passed.
Yeah.
Capitalizing.
Riding high.
He's exactly the guy we all knew he was.
The boy in the free as fuck t-shirt throwing the white power symbol, and he's out here devouring his 50 million.
Stop.
Free as fuck.
Every kid has shirts like that.
It's called teenagers.
Have you ever seen the way they talk?
What they do?
A. B. This isn't a white power symbol.
This is still going.
How many times do we have to explain this?
This means liberals are hysterical about racism and everything makes them crazy, including this thing we made up.
Yeah, but Nazis use it.
Correct.
Nazis use toilet paper.
Hitler used toilet paper.
If you use toilet paper, you're a Nazi.
Guilt by association is a logical fallacy.
We all think you're hysterical idiots.
Nazis, normal people, libertarians, not lefts.
We all think that you're dorks.
Minutes of fame like George Zimmerman signing Skittlebags.
Stop.
And it's sick.
George Zimmerman signing Skittlebags.
George Zimmerman did sell paintings.
George Zimmerman is a very similar case, actually.
Totally innocent guy trying to police his own neighborhood, defend his own neighborhood.
A thug who we saw in that documentary with the French dude was actually kind of more of a middle-class guy.
But he started drifting into violence and gang culture.
And what happened?
He got in over his head and became Tupac Shakir.
So when George Zerman said, hey, man, what are you doing here?
He went nuts and beat the shit out of him.
And by the way, the Skittles were for Scizerp.
He was getting drug accoutrements.
He wasn't just buying some candy like a little boy.
So he was out getting drugs the way thugs do, getting his lien on.
And a local security dude, someone, like a, what do you call those people who walk the block?
One of those local guys asked him what he was doing there.
And Trayvon overreacted, started beating the shit out of him.
Eventually, he was, George Zimmerman was getting pounded so severely, he thought, my gun's going to come out of my holster.
And now he's going to grab it and he can kill me.
So he shot Trayvon, which is what you're supposed to do.
Remember that Antifa guy I argued with about and he goes, oh, so you die for winning a fight?
Yeah, kind of.
If you randomly fight a dude with a gun and you're winning, it's probably going to kill you.
You should be prepared for that.
And you can say we shouldn't talk about it.
We should just ignore them and stop giving them the attention that they crave.
But so far, ignoring bad behavior hasn't made it go away.
It just keeps getting worse.
They're like gremlins.
They multiply in the dark.
I think we have to shine the biggest spotlight, not on Kyle, but on the people who are promoting Kyle.
Because even if you don't see this kid as a murderer, even if he is just someone who unfortunately had to kill two people in self-defense, why would he be a celebrity?
Because you left him no other choice.
Because you turned him into a pariah.
So the celebrity status is a reaction to the pariah status you put on him, where he can't even go buy a bag of Skittles, where he's getting death threats all day, every day, where he can't even go to college, which is what Turning Point is all about,
on a Zoom call.
Why do we have these stupid bitches getting involved in things that involve logic and facts?
Go ahead.
Listen, what he thinks of LeBron James or the size of a girl's butt.
Why is he speaking?
What's his speech going to be about?
Killing people you don't agree with?
Getting away with murder?
White privilege?
Our broken justice system?
Yeah, imagine?
What?
Making this child a hero is sociopathic.
Why didn't we listen to his talk, by the way?
Why did we go there to Turning Point USA's thing if you're so worried about it?
America's made celebrities out of a lot of people who have no business being celebrities, but this is a hideous new low.
And if you're still supporting the team that's encouraging this behavior, you've lost your way.
The good people of America are disgusted by this depravity and firmly reject the continued debasement of our country and the depravity that made him into a pariah.
That's depravity.
You are depravity.
Do better, because this is gross.
Do better.
You're being so gross, you guys.
Do better.
All right, bitch.
Let's wrap it up with some mailbags.
Do better.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
The whole Black Man Endangered Species jacked from the intro to this song.
Oh my God.
So Ben Crump can't even come up with his own shit?
Wow, he might be an imbecile.
I actually didn't, that didn't occur to me because I figure the bar is hard to pass.
So you can't be a total retard if you're a lawyer.
But maybe I'm wrong.
This is just called Bald Eagle.
At the bottom of our news tonight, there's been a new animal aimed in the direction of falling off the face of the earth.
Yes, young black teenagers are recorded to be the oldest and the newest creatures added to the endangered species list.
As of now, the government has not made steps to preserve the blacks.
When asked why, a top law official adds, because they make good games.
He samples himself.
Oh, that's interesting.
Wow.
So Ben Crump stole his entire silly brand from the intro to an Ice Cube song.
There's another intro to that.
It's not on that album, but it's a guy setting up to assassinate a white dude.
And you hear the guy like, yo, what's going on?
Oh, hello.
I think he's a cop.
And then you just hear like, pew, pew, pew.
Body bag.
That's in Predator, I believe.
Anyway.
I found this video of a black boy explaining to his mother that she can't dress like a hoe.
I have saw this before.
It's really funny.
Sorry, the title for that one is Black Child Tries to Keep His Hoe of a Mom in Check.
Get some loading issues.
You like they pay best.
Isn't it weird how they talk to each other like peers?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, this sounds like a couple.
Name a time your child fest it.
You like they pay best.
Last time I tell you this, and I'm still mad about this.
Why did you come into the bus stop wearing high shorts?
Why did you come into the bus stop with high shorts that can probably show you?
You gonna let me talk?
You gonna let me talk?
Sir, I'm grown.
I'm not trying to come into this bus stop wearing high shorts, trying to get some attention.
Za, these shorts not even high.
Yes, they is.
Za, it's not.
That don't mean it's high.
It is high.
They can probably show your booty cheese.
I'm grown, Za.
I'm 23 years old.
You ain't nothing grown.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
She's 23.
What's the youngest that kid can be?
Five.
No, Ryan, not five.
Five-year-olds talk funny.
He's eight or nine.
More likely ten.
Jesus.
I think she had him at 13.
When I was your age, it was like four years ago.
I was your age, 13 years ago.
Yes?
Wait.
I should know.
Wait.
I'm the only...
No, that's still a camera.
Za, what are you trying to say?
You wanna let me talk now?
I'm your protector.
You my protector, but I don't mean.
I'm your bodyguard, so I'm telling you that you can't come to this bus stop wearing high shorts like that.
Zy.
I'm grown.
That's final.
Who was you talking to?
You!
Za, I'm recording you.
I want them to know exactly how high you talking to me.
Look how you talking to me.
Just.
I want them to know to tell their mama the same thing to tell their mama not to come to the bus stop wearing high shorts like how you do.
Sa, nothing wrong with my shorts.
Mom, you see how high they is.
You can clearly see that.
Sa, nothing wrong with my shorts.
You see how high they are.
I'm sorry, okay?
What kind of clothes do you want me to wear?
Some little jeans.
Lil jeans?
These my little jeans?
Bay button.
Obi or bay button.
And that is high.
Y'all, I feel like y'all jumping on me now.
Ganging up on me, okay?
I understand.
So you just get this right now.
Kids can gang up on moms when there's no dad around.
All right, that's enough of that.
It's getting depressing.
I kind of agree with that kid.
What?
I agree with the kids.
Everyone does.
I want to see these shorts that they're talking about, but...
Well, you know, the ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom.
We know them ass cheeks are hanging out.
This one's 22-year-old stuck in an 8-year-old's body.
Check out this new TLC show.
The amount of petals she attracts must be astronomical.
Yeah, it must be gross.
Gotcha.
Oh, man.
If you were to look at me, you would think I'm just a normal little girl doing normal little girl things with my fun, crazy family.
I have no clue what lane you're in.
Because you're supposed to shit up.
I am shitting up.
But the truth is, I'm not a little girl.
I'm a woman.
A 22-year-old woman.
Stuck in the body of an eight-year-old.
Who could fuck her?
Imagine you're the dad's boyfriend and he's normal size.
You'd be like, Hello, Derek.
Um, how old are you?
There is an age requirement.
I'm 22.
Shauna was six months old when we found out she had brain cancer.
My pituitary gland was rendered almost dormant because of the chemotherapy.
The doctor told me I was done growing.
My bones were fused.
And my height is three feet and ten inches.
You feel, I guess, almost guilty.
No, you're okay, lady.
She will have to go through this potato.
She had brain cancer and she lived.
How do you feel guilty?
So all I can do is protect her.
Even though I physically can't grow up, I desperately want to be treated like a grown-up.
I'm going to say no as far as sex.
Oh, definitely not.
She still shams.
No, I don't.
Unless you can find a midget or a guy who also has a fucked up piturator gland, I don't want a six-foot-tall man making out with you.
I want to kill him.
Sorry.
All our boyfriends are dead.
The father has killed them.
Those are the shorts.
Yeah, those are too high.
Yeah.
Especially with the matching top.
Like, sorry, combined with that top.
But go back to her.
What are we going to say here, bio?
My relationship status is single.
I'm short.
Leave me alone.
I attract creeps.
A and idiot.
It is scary to put myself out there, but you have to put some risk in to get happiness.
So today I am going on a flying date.
Hi, I'm Shauna.
Hi, Shauna.
Uh, wait, what?
That was the impunct of something at first.
I do desire more independence for my family because I can't go anywhere without them asking questions.
Stop.
You know, the thing about these shows is they have a low budget, and I've experienced this firsthand.
So you usually offer 50 to 100 bucks for an extra to come in.
That wasn't a real date.
But inevitably, you end up with almost all blacks with that.
They've got time.
They're unemployed.
And they come in.
So they thought they were just being cool and not racist, but they don't realize that they made a really weird statement by having him.
Wait, is his hair...
He has a dread necklace, a dreckless.
He has a dreklis?
I don't know if that's true, but it looks like it.
It sure does.
What the fuck?
What if he gets in a fight and someone grabs that?
Using my grandnanny's anal bees?
Now I have...
Anal bees.
You have to control your head.
All right, so that's disturbing.
Yeah, I can't.
As the father of her, I don't want her.
Oh, it's Tripper Pole.
Yeah, no.
Jesus.
No twerking.
That shouldn't be allowed to be filmed.
But it reminds me of I was on the L-train years ago, and there was a guy about six feet tall, big beard, and his girlfriend was of age.
She was 21.
She was probably like 5'3.
And she had on 1970s, like little soccer shorts, the kind with the tubing.
1970s like tube socks with the stripes, little sneakers on, and like a baseball shirt and piggy tails.
So she looked like a little kid from the 80s.
Now, this is legal, and I want her to find love, but at the same time, I was looking at the couple going, I don't like you.
This is not right.
It's legal.
It's not right.
That's different.
All right, last letter.
Gavin Maddie and Detective Shitty Dick, would you rather drink a glass of cum that tastes like chocolate milk or drink a glass of chocolate milk that tastes like cum?
Wow.
Hmm.
That's really, really easy, but we'll let Dummy try to figure it out.
It would be drink the chocolate milk.
Yes.
Because then you just had disgusting chocolate milk.
And when people say, what's the worst thing you've ever drank?
You say, I drank this chocolate milk that was so gross.
It tastes like what I would imagine cum tasted like.
But if you drank cum that tastes like chocolate milk, people would be going, oh, God.
And then she doesn't swallow.
But I guess all gays swallow.
It must be so gross to drink cum.
What's that like?
And then you have to go, sometimes it could be okay.
Sometimes it could taste like chocolate milk.
Now you drank cum.
And every time you see that or hear about that act, your mind will go to, I drank cum.
Same as like fucking a tranny.
Whenever they say, would you rather fuck Blair White or something angel?
Tawana Brawley.
No, no, no.
Sorry, that's not her.
Tawana Brawley.
The woman who started me too.
Tarana Burke.
Tarana Burke.
I'd rather fuck Tarana Burke.
Because then I've just fucked the ugliest woman in the world, but I've still only fucked women.
You fuck Blair White, you fucked a dude.
I'd rather fuck her than Tarana Burke.
I'm not sure a lot of millennials would agree with me on that.
All right, let's get to the final video.
Short and sweet.
Some chick brought a knife to school to take care of her bullies.
What y'all think about that?
Personally?
Yes, 25B.
The one that says chick brought a knife to school.
Procrastinating.
Get over.
Are you kidding me with the knife?
You gotta walk a knife.
Getting up.
I guess you wouldn't want to be stuck in a seat that wraps around you.
And the first.
Look at this.
The Crocs and the track pants with kids.
All kids now, teens, wear sweatshirts and sweatpants and crocs.
Let me go.
Let me go.
No.
Let me go.
I don't want to help you.
You don't want to cut anybody.
This is your life.
This is your life.
What's your name?
What is your name?
Why is there military guys in school now?
They're soldiers.
The ROTC.
They're wearing camel.
Look like airborne or something.
Is that another angle or it's still going?
Still going.
It was pretty easy to me to avoid getting stabbed by a child.
Why does it take three grown men?
He just pinched the hand.
I shoot that to my little brother all the time.
All right, we got to go.
We're going to have turkey sandwiches all week for you guys, leftovers, stuffed together, because I'm deeply insecure and I'm petrified you'll fall out of the habit of watching GOML every day.
So we'll see you tomorrow and Thursday and Friday.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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