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Dec. 18, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
43:04
GOML LIVE #127 - JOE'S FIRST DAY (Part 1)

Life without Ryan is taking a turn and what we thought we would be a painless transition is becoming very difficult.

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Time Text
Department, the fart man, the fartman, the fartman, the fartman, the fartman, the fartman, the fartman.
Oh, live from New York.
It's head off by lawn with Kevin McGinnis.
Watch out.
Department, the fart.
I'm here for real.
Department, the fart home.
Defartment, the fart home.
Defartment.
Department.
I'm here for real.
I'm the fart man.
Good joke, Ryan.
The fart man, the fart man, the fart man.
Okay, now it's got to stop.
Stop the music.
Hello, folks.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
This is Get Off My Lawn Live, as it is every Thursday night.
Welcome back, Maddie O'Dell, our sprightly co-host, Cut Tamatty, which is the different camera.
There we go.
He's wearing the bird, which is the bald eagle.
And we have an important announcement to make.
We are debuting our new engineer producer sidekick.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joe Tonelli.
Woo-hoo.
Really?
Hi, guys.
How are you?
Hello, buddy.
Nope, we gotta...
So say hi.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome.
So you got to talk into the mic.
Okay, now I got it.
Okay.
So, Joe, now that you're a new addition to the show, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Well, let me see.
My name is Joey Tonelli.
You got to face the microphone.
Oh, sorry.
I'm done.
First day.
Yep.
Born and raised in Ryan, New York?
No, no.
You got to face the microphone.
Okay, how's that?
Is that better?
Sure.
You could twist it towards your face.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
How old are you?
You seem to be.
58 years old.
58.
Yeah.
Okay.
What's your background as far as media and producing shows goes?
Actually, this is my first gig, so I'm giving it a shot to see how I do.
Okay.
So, sorry, go back again.
What's your story?
Oh.
This is my first time.
Right, but what's your life?
Who are you?
I mean, we have to introduce you to the people.
Well, who am I?
What do you want to know?
Where are you from?
Like, what would your grinder write-up be?
Well, like I said, born and raised in Rye, New York.
Went to Rye High School.
You got to face the mic.
Okay.
Went to Rye High School, born and raised in Rye.
You know, basically, you know, I lived out in Arizona for a little while.
And, you know, I got a background in safety and risk management and, you know, whatever.
So I'm just giving this a shot right now because safety is not really cutting it right now.
Are you married?
No, I was.
Do you have any kids?
I have two grandkids, a granddaughter and a grandson.
Oh, did you have kids, immediate kids, or did you just skip right to grandkids?
No, I have a daughter, a 25-year-old daughter.
Oh, okay.
She's going to be 26 on December 23rd.
Oh, okay.
So that's your story, and you're sticking to it?
I'm sticking to it.
All right.
Well, we've got the way this show goes is we're free for the first half hour, and then we go behind the paywall, and we read mail, and we take calls.
There's just so much to squeeze into a live show that I don't like to go through the news.
Okay?
Okay, got it.
Have you ever been shot at, Joe?
Have I been shot at?
Yeah.
No, I mean, I worked when I was a American in the South Bronx.
I, you know, back in the day, back in the 80s, yeah, South Bronx was Ford Apache back then.
So we, you know, they were trying to score, you know, our narcotics back in the day.
But, yeah, I mean, we, you know, was I hit?
No.
Okay.
What happened with your marriage?
It just didn't work out.
Okay.
You know, didn't work out.
Now, your mom is Scottish.
Oh, yeah, she was born in Glasgow.
Same with us, same with Maddie.
Yep.
We all have Glaswegian moms.
Last name was Hardy.
H-A-R-T-Y-O was her maiden name.
Glasgow Mom Crew.
Yep.
Does she love you?
Is she still around?
No, mom passed in February of 2020.
How did she die?
Dementia.
She died of dementia.
Okay.
Let's get back to me.
So go to the right camera, Joe.
Great.
Sorry, bear with me.
Apologize.
No problem, no problem.
Now, while I'm talking about the sponsors, I want you to pull up their web pages.
So we're going to start with Nita Fashions.
Nita Fashions has been with us for a long time.
I don't want to toot my own horn, but we are a major part of Nita Fashions' income.
We got them through the pandemic.
I would say 60% of their clients are baby monsters.
There's a lot of lawyers and sales dudes who need to have a good 10 suits.
But there's normal blue-collar dudes who need that one suit for funerals and weddings.
And when they get circumcised, that's where Nita Fashions comes in.
I've got my whole new wardrobe for the marathon, which is happening in less than 24 hours, and it's lasting for 24 hours.
At 6 p.m. tomorrow, 6 p.m., Joe and I will be together taking you through a 24-hour shift of the show.
We'll be interviewing everyone who's on the network.
We have every single contributor spanned out too, and it works because, you know, Australia and Britain and Hawaii, we got Lotus, Dusty Bogan, and Katie Hopkins.
They can be in the wee hours of America time, and they're in normal time on their zone.
So they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when we're fucking exhausted at 5 a.m.
And I'll be wearing my Nita Fashions tuxedo, which is silk-lined.
Red silk.
You should get a Nita Fashion suit.
Maddie?
I'm gonna.
For your various court dates, which are inevitable.
Would you wear a suit when you went to court?
Depending on, like when I went to trial and stuff like that, I wore suits.
With a tie?
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, for like a regular local court or until you start, unless you're in custody, you go in your regular street clothes.
But when you go to trial, they'll let you put a suit on.
And did it help with your sentencing?
So like people's like shaved, they get their haircuts, they look all like neat in primitive apartments.
It's all foregone bullshit.
They don't give a fuck what you look like.
They know what they're doing before you get there.
Yeah, they know how long they're going to put you away for.
Exactly.
So Nita Fashions is great for all of that.
And what I keep saying on this show is you've never experienced wearing a tailored suit.
It feels like PJs.
In fact, as a blue-collar LARPer, I wear thick denim and wax pants and these thick flannels and red wings.
I'm very uncomfortable in my leisure wear.
I actually look forward to going to work because I wear a suit and can finally be comfortable.
Oh, I like those lapels too.
That's the hot thing now, peaked lapels.
All my new suits have those lapels.
Anyway, Nita Fashions.
I think the best way to contact them is to DM them on Instagram, set up a measurement thing.
They just got back from a world tour, so they probably won't be doing that for a while.
And get all your measurements done from home remotely, and then they can send you samples, swatches.
You can do all of this remotely.
Then you get this wonderful package from FedEx.
like Christmas in your house.
So that is I'm sorry, what's that?
What's the URL?
What's the website name?
http://slash www dot is it NitaFashions NitaFashions.com Anita Fashions or Nita Fashions?
Anita.
N-I-T-A.
Yeah, fashions.com.
Why are you adding an A at the beginning?
Like Anita Harding?
Oh, dumb.
Nita Fashions.
Nita, Nita.
Okay.
So that's our intro.
What are we thinking of Joe so far?
Going well?
You know.
Can you cut to Maddie?
She's making an effort.
I'll just wait.
There we go.
Hey.
What do you think?
A little rough around the edges, but you know.
Joe's had a very storied career.
He's been in the military.
He's been in jail.
He's been an all-around guy.
A medic.
He's a man's man.
EMT.
What was that story, Joe, where you were on the highway with a helicopter and you got hit by a car and it fucked up your spine?
That's a good story.
That's the story?
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell the story.
Massive pileup on the freeway.
He's in the EMT.
He's in a helicopter.
Lands on the highway.
Some guy breaks through the barricades, drunk, hits Joe as he's putting, I think, a kid onto the helicopter.
Fucks up his spine.
He's had a stiff neck ever since.
Is that the way the story went, Joe?
Yes.
He said yes.
I don't know if his mic is on.
Yes.
Okay.
Are you talking to someone there, Joe?
Who are you looking at?
Oh, no.
I'm looking at the keyboard.
Okay.
Okay.
So did I do a good job of your drunk driving story?
Sure.
All right.
Let's just shoot the shit for a second, Maddie, before we get into the mailbag.
I was just talking to some dads on the phone here and there.
Their prediction is that school does not go back after the Christmas break.
And it's a repeat of last year with fucking Zooms and bullshit.
And you know who really suffers from that is kids in shitty neighborhoods.
Because their parents don't discipline them.
And I talk to these teachers in this neighborhood, in the South Bronx, and they go, out of a class of 30, I'll have three kids.
Because the parents are still asleep.
I'll have three kids that are ready to go at nine.
Two will be playing video games.
And one will be like, okay, what are we doing today, teach?
Yeah, it's sad.
I don't understand what the hell's going on.
Can you cut to Maddie, please?
He's just talking there in the abyss.
So, you know, Monday, obviously, Governor Kathy Hochel, she implemented the mask mandate for the entire state of New York.
What is that now to non-New Yorkers?
Everyone in every business, every employee has to be vaccinated.
Indoor public spaces, you are required to wear a mask regardless of your vaccination status.
So basically, the masks are back on if you want to go to the supermarket, to the gas station, to the bank, to anywhere that's a public space.
Wait a minute, but at our bar, you don't have to wear a mask if you have a vaccination card.
I think the businesses have to implement a vaccination verification, but fuck all that shit.
I mean, Right, but just for the record, if you have a vaccination card or proof of vaccination, you don't have to wear a mask.
But everyone needs at least that.
Every gym, if you don't have a Vax card, you need a mask.
It's like, really?
It's pretty funny.
My sister told me, she goes, he walked in and the girl says, oh, do you have your vaccination card?
He goes, well, do you have AIDS?
That's the proper reaction.
And the girl at the desk just looked at him.
Yeah, have you ever had AIDS?
Do you have chlamydia?
What are your STDs?
Yeah, that was the one I saw.
I can't remember what state it was, the governor, somewhere, he was leaving the podium, and somebody asked him, one of the reporters said, Are you vaccinated?
And he turned around and somebody like his assistant or something said, that's a very inappropriate question.
He comes back to the podium.
He goes, no, no.
He goes, do you have any STDs?
Have you ever had any STDs?
And the guy's like, what?
He goes, yeah.
You're not going to tell me, so why would I tell you my medical age?
You know, where does it end?
I still don't believe that HIPAA laws are there to protect our privacy and our own personal.
And here's the other thing.
Deaths are not going up.
This whole thing is over.
We're all about this Omnicron variant, whatever the fuck it's called.
And there's been zero deaths.
It's just more proper, it's more bullshit.
Like, I'm actually impressed today.
I saw a couple of things that said there's a few counties in New York that are like they're fucking the system saying, no, we're not following the mandates.
We don't care what you say.
We're choosing not to enforce or go abide by your mandate.
I'm really surprised by that because I just assumed every politician wants to kiss the governor's ass.
Yeah, fuck that.
So what are the counties?
Is it Rockland?
Rockland, Dutchess, Putnam, and Madison, which I believe is like way upstate.
So Rockland is where the Weather Underground killed those two cops in Nyack.
Yeah, we come to that.
The post office is named after them.
Yep.
Maybe they're not into Cuomo, the guy who freed the Weather Underground from prison.
All right.
Shall we dive into the mailbag, Joe?
Sure, absolutely.
Okay, so I showed you the little thing where you show the doohickey, the mailbag, where we make fun of our ex.
We're going to have to change all this shit now that Ryan's gone.
Yeah.
Joe, shut up.
Your parents are dead.
Got to come up with a new song.
Folks at home, if you can come up with a new song.
I'm not sure what we're doing with this giant piss screen.
There we go.
Not getting any audio.
Hmm.
Anyway.
Ryan, shut up.
You don't have a dad.
Something.
Gavin's mailbag.
And then it's let me touch it.
But wait, what comes after Don't Have a Dad?
Ryan, shut up.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let's take a look.
I think it's turn our eyes.
Can you pull up the audio for that fucking thing, Joe?
Guys, there's going to be some hiccups.
Ryan was with us.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to the gas.
Let me touch it.
Let's pour some out for our dead homie, Ryan.
I wonder what he's doing now.
Not the smartest move in the world.
Probably online slapping the bass.
No, he doesn't.
He makes songs that slap.
Oh, songs slap.
But he plays the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix.
But imagine you have a newborn and you decide, I'm going to quit my job.
His wife must be thrilled with his awesome decision making.
Ryan!
Okay.
But, you know, we've had other producers in the past.
Ryan was one of many, if you recall.
We had Rat, the guy who was such a pussy, it inspired the Proud Boys.
We had David Kast, who was stolen from me by Laura Ingram.
We had John Serino, who was fired by Kumeya's people for asking one of their clients for more money, which I thought was...
That was back when the cop ran the show there, Keith the cop.
And then there was Ryan Katsu Rivera.
Funny guy, but incompetent.
Almost as bad as Joe.
But this is Joe's first day.
Are you going to be getting better at this, Joe?
Don't fry.
We'll do my best.
You're going to go to the electric chair?
Dude, we don't want you to fry.
And why do you keep showing Nita fashions?
I think that's been established.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Wrong button.
Okay.
So I showed you this earlier, Joe.
What we do is we go through the mailbag.
It should be in the archive section, right?
And I thought it would be fun if we just focused on ones that say Maddie, because sometimes people send in letters to Maddie, and we get so many a day that by the time he's back here the following week, it's long gone.
So put in the search bar, Maddie.
Joe, who are you looking at?
Oh, no, I'm just looking at the keyboard here.
Sorry about that.
There's multiple screens.
I'm trying to get it together over here.
No, you went to school in Scotland, correct?
Elementary school.
Oh, I thought it was high school.
You know, I was in school in Scotland for a matter of months when I was a very little boy.
And there was a kid there.
I've told the story a few times.
It's my favorite story.
And he was very, very poor.
He was from Paisley, which was up the road.
And he was so poor that his parents didn't have time for him.
They were both working.
And he had lots of brothers and sisters.
And he was the forgotten youngest.
So he loved coming to school because there was like, it was warm and there was paper and you could eat stuff.
And people looked at him and he loved it.
So he gets a call and they're like, Angus McDougall, please come to the principal's office, Angus McDougal.
I think his name was Angus McDougal.
And he's like, that's my name.
See me.
I'm getting announced on the ENTERCOM.
Not sure what's happening here.
And they take him to the principal's office.
Did I die?
I know.
You don't have to hit him in the middle of the park.
This is called learning as we go.
Sometimes you don't have time to train a new guy.
That's what I'm saying.
I've got a city of pants.
And he was all excited that he got to go to the principal's office.
And then he came back about three hours later, bald as a cue ball.
And people were not bald back then.
This is 1974.
We're all little kids.
And there's this little five-year-old.
His head is bald as a cue ball.
And he comes in and he's still smiling.
Everything was good for him.
In retrospect, he's probably beaten by his dad, so he's so happy to be away from him.
Sorry to put a bummer spin on that.
So we're all like, as he walks down the aisle back to his desk, and we're all fixed at it.
And I'm like, and then he sits down, still smiling, still bald, no eyebrows.
And he looks at the class, and we're all looking back at him.
Even the teacher was going, and he looks at us all and he goes, I got lace.
He was thrilled.
So much attention.
People touching him.
People cutting his hair.
I matter all of a sudden.
Okay, you don't have to do anything for this, Joe.
I can handle it.
There's no graphics, but if there's a picture or a video, I need you to bring it up.
Why are you playing the woman background?
This should be letters.
I need envelopes dancing around behind me.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
This is not good advertising, especially for the show tomorrow.
The marathon tomorrow is about getting our numbers up to 30,000.
And we're not really selling ourselves very well.
In fact, we're probably losing subscribers in the hundreds.
That was not really the objective here.
How are we going to do 24 hours with this level of incompetence?
Joe, those are not envelopes?
Envelopes?
Those are envelopes.
No?
Okay.
Tricky little buttons.
They're very tiny buttons.
No more audio.
Because what's going to happen is I think it's kind of funny now that you're fucking up, but then there's going to be when the switch happens.
And it goes from like normal mistakes for a new guy to get your fucking shit together.
And we're drifting into that arena right now.
Oh, for fuck's sake, Joseph.
Those are not envelopes.
Those are televisions.
Envelopes are the things that you lick, that you would put, I don't know, your welfare check in.
There you go, right there.
All right, Maddie, someone has written a poem for you.
Oh, nice.
You ready for this?
I'm ready.
I hope I am.
For a number of weeks now, one Maddie O'Dell has been gracing the show we call G-O-M-L.
This little monster, with a temper so short, has brought wisdom and flavor, I am glad to report.
He doesn't take shit, and he doesn't like liars.
As a lad, he was raised in a baptism of fire.
He was always a rough boy, as Pete Townsend knows well.
But to cross him is to take one quick trip to hell.
His intellect uncanny, his insights profound.
One of a few in this world who can hold a candle to Eddie Gloud.
He couldn't indulge in Joe's lies or his fibs.
He was seconds away from destroying his ribs.
He's a poet, a preacher, a true bon vivant.
We've got Maddie O'Dell.
What more could we want?
Joe, you're in this poem.
P.S. Ryan, you suck, and you've been playing all the segment transitions over the audio for the opening of this show.
Unfortunately, you're talking to someone who has left the company, sir.
But thank you for that.
Maybe we should bring up the incident that you and Joe had the other day.
No, not yet.
Not on his first day.
Okay.
Because there was some words that were had.
We have, you know, I like Joe.
Joe's my buddy.
Okay.
Wouldn't it be funny if Ryan called in?
This is called Watch with Maddie.
So, Joe, go through the subjects, assuming this didn't come up under Maddie, and find one that says Watch with Maddie.
By the way, Maddie, I sent you this.
I saw it on Shismob, and it was a bunch of convicts.
They were making burritos.
Yeah, yeah.
So they had taken the mattress off the bottom bunk, which is all steel.
They lit a fire with toilet paper underneath the bed.
So isn't that going to set off smoke alarms?
Not really.
I mean, people like fires all the time.
Like, they make tattooing and stuff of fire, and they make all sorts of stuff with fire.
What do you do is you like, you either make a wick, like out of toilet paper.
Can someone cut to Maddie, please?
Joe, can you cut to Maddie?
So you get toilet paper, I don't know, twice a week.
Like the COs give it out.
During count, they'll just drop two rolls of toilet paper in front of yourself.
But like if you're need flame, constant flame, is you roll toilet paper up and you twist it until it's thick.
And then they take hair grease that they sell on commissary.
And they'll fill up like a cup or a coffee cup or and they'll fill it with grease and they'll grease up the wick and they'll light it like a candle.
So the grease keeps the, it's like a candle with a cup.
Oh, it's exactly like those buffet tables when you sort of like that.
But they do it with the toilet paper too.
I mean, they just put them on there.
And I mean, I've seen people make food with, you know, stingers.
You know, they use irons, anything that's going to get hot.
I mean, probably when that bunk was first used, see how it was painted gray and then it's got a big raw spot in the middle?
Yeah.
Like the paint, the paint's going to burn.
Yeah.
That'll do it.
But somebody did it at some point where they're going to just find something metal or something and try to scrape all the paint off before they do it.
It looked like a party.
Okay, Joe, this is probably pretty ambitious for you, but I'm going to try to send you what I am talking about.
Where did I send that to you, Maddie, in Instagram?
Because I was just so impressed.
I think you sent it to me in a message, and then I had to tell you that it was just taking me to the general Shizmabbin page.
It wasn't like the specific clip.
Okay, so, Joe, go to the Shizmabin page.
That should be one of our bookmarks.
It's a constant source of ours where we get our news.
I like how we're seeing as this sinister evil hate list.
I'm on the Facebook hate list where you can't say my name.
I got restricted yesterday or the other day.
For what?
Because I wrote the day before the mandate came out, I had the sign that said, you know, New York State implements mask mandate starts December 13th or whatever Monday was.
And then somebody wrote in Magic Mark of it, we will not comply.
I posted that like Sunday night and it was good.
And then the other day, like the next day or Tuesday or whatever day it was, I did it.
I wrote, fuck Tyranny, fuck New York State, do not comply.
But that got restricted and they restricted my account for a couple days or whatever.
Isn't that amazing?
You're not allowed to say do not comply.
Fuck that.
Wow.
I mean, I understand, you know, if there's some dumb law and the police go, oh, you're not complying.
You have to comply with this law.
Well, it's not law.
The mandates aren't law.
Right, right.
But even in that scenario, like jaywalking, whatever, but now you're not even allowed to say verbalized.
I mean, so much for free speech, but it's like nobody's dying of Omicron.
No one's dying from COVID.
Like, it's minimal.
It's over.
The whole thing is over.
It's sort of like where they, at the end of World War II, a lot of Japanese kept their POWs and Germany kept POWs and made them help rebuild Germany.
They had to eventually get out.
I don't know how they eventually got out there.
I guess someone let it slip that World War II ended three years ago.
Okay, go down.
What the hell's that sound?
Oh, I'm sorry, that's my phone.
I thought I turned it off.
What is your outgoing alarm?
It's Squad 51 from back in the 70s.
Okay.
Nope, not Maddie.
Nope, not me.
Shizmobbin.
Nope, not the mail.
And turn off your fucking phone, please.
Okay, so scroll down.
Oh, Lord.
Scroll down.
Yep, yep, yep.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Okay, not too fast.
Yeah.
Boy, they post a lot, don't they?
Shit, I hope it was shizmobbin.
No.
No, I think it might have been Grindface.
Shit, it was.
Sorry.
Go to Grindface.
Grindface.
How did they get cameras into the prison?
Smuggling cell phones.
Where up, your ass?
Well, guards.
Like, say if you were in MDC in Brooklyn or MCC in Manhattan, it probably cost you $3,500 for a phone.
How do you get that to the guard?
Outside.
Your people on the outside.
So someone on the outside gives the guards, like mom or wife, $3,500.
Right.
Like, someone will come visit you.
You tell them on a visit.
You know, you got to send money either.
They may send it.
You may meet in person.
I doubt they'll meet in person, but it gets done quite frequently.
Yeah.
Like, I remember when I was in.
I was printing videos all the time.
When I was in MCC doing a violation, I worked in the H because I was a cadre there because I was only doing a violation 10 months.
And I was working in the H factory.
Like, that was my job.
Turn that off, Joe.
That's not it.
Fucking guy.
Yeah, keep going.
And part of our daily job was to go around.
And in each cell, you have a vent that blows in, like fresh air, and then you have a return vent that's on the floor.
So anything that you're not supposed to have, like contraband or anything, if you need to get rid of it quick and they shut the water off where you can't flush it, you just throw it down the return vent because there's no screen or anything on it.
So we would go, me and my buddy, his name was Archie, and another Scottish guy.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
And we would go around to where all the vents would come in, like in the ventilation system, and where they came down to an end, they would have a door.
And we'd open a door.
We'd find hooch, cell phones, weapons, all sorts of crazy shit.
And that's because the COs were dropping it off there?
No, no, like either somebody's cell was getting searched or they were doing a shakedown or something.
You're making prison sound really fun.
No, no, no.
Okay, so go back to Grindface there, guy.
1, 1,000, 2, 1,0003, 1,000.
Scroll down.
Jesus, H. Christ.
If you make me miss Ryan, I'll be impressed.
No, no, nah, nope, nope.
I'm looking for a prison cooking.
This should be like a tenth of the time.
Oh, there it is.
Right there.
Left.
You see those burritos?
Top left.
Right there.
These guys are having a good time.
Nope.
You got to click on it.
Nope.
Wrong video completely.
There's burritos.
Left.
The burritos.
The burritos.
The burritos!
Holy shit.
It's like this.
Right there.
Are you a CIA operative?
Okay, so there's, I don't get how there's no smoke, really.
No.
So I guess it's not going to set off any alarms.
But there they are.
They got Doritos, Zappies, and then they got a giant bucket.
Oh, yeah.
Cooking food on the weekend in the joint.
Wait, I heard music there.
It sounded like fuck you, Dad.
We're not getting these interstitials, are we?
Can I hear the audio for that, please?
Lord.
Our telethon tomorrow is going to be all about why you left censored TV.
All right, I give up.
So we should probably go behind the paywall now I Would say you come fuck with our grill, but But it's surreal.
Straight up.
Raw.
Hey, Joe.
Saturday vibe.
Do you?
Wait, where'd you go?
Saturday vibe.
Do you, what do you look at on Instagram?
What are your hotspots?
Turn that fucking thing off, please.
Just close the entire window.
Wow, this is a catastrophe.
What do you like to look at on Instagram?
I'm not much of a really Instagram person.
What are your social media sites?
I don't usually do a lot of social media.
There's just too much negative stuff out there.
Okay.
Now, I've always been curious, and no one can answer this for me.
I recall a time about six months ago where you were absolutely drowning in pussy.
You had a different chick over every week, and it was all like, hey, did you get to meet Claudia?
And then she was gone.
Then it was Nancy or whoever they were.
And they came by and they'd get drunk.
And we had a gay old time with them.
They were pretty reasonable.
You're what, 68?
Oh, thank you.
58.
58.
So they were all like 40s and stuff.
They all looked pretty darn good to me.
And then, poof, no more chicks.
What happened?
You meet them on the internet.
It's not the same when you meet somebody in person or at a bar or something like that back in the day, you know.
Internet dating is not the way to go.
But that doesn't explain how it was nothing, nothing, nothing, sea of chicks, nothing, nothing, nothing.
What's that got to do with the internet?
Well, that's where you meet them today.
It's hard to meet somebody.
But why did you stop meeting them?
Huh?
Why did you stop meeting them?
I didn't like them.
I wasn't into them.
After a few months, it was not for me.
But why were you into all those chicks and then not into those chicks just overnight?
That's it, you know.
Just wanted to get us whole.
Okay, but why would one be horny for a little while and then not before or after?
Can't answer that.
That's just the way it is.
Did you get your penis caught in your fly?
No.
No, he's good.
Joey T's good.
Oh, you have a name for your penis?
Yeah.
Joey T. You know what my dick's name is?
No, this should be good.
Joe Tonelli.
Oh.
Okay, speaking of convicts, this is the last one before we go behind the paywall.
I was told to watch this with Maddie.
Breathe, breathe.
You know what, dude?
Just stop touching buttons if there's nothing going on.
So this email is called Watch with Maddie.
It says, convicts fighting for money.
Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do to Joe.
Sounds like this guy's familiar with the beef you guys had.
So play that video.
It's from a guy named Lee.
Watch with Maddie is the subject.
It arrived across our desk November 18th.
We're going way back here.
All right, it's almost a month ago.
2021.
Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do.
This is not good advertising, is it?
Oh, this is ancient Chinese secret.
God damn.
Well, have you ever seen this video, Matt?
A little bit, yeah.
I did six years in YA and then 19 months in the joint.
What'd you do?
Stabbed me giving him the neck four times.
He was a rat.
You gotta let him know what time it is.
What's one of your most number fights?
That time that I stabbed that dude.
I expected him to drop, but he got up and wanted to fight.
I was pretty sick, but we shouldn't have his neck.
It was awesome.
My name is Tommy.
I'm fine for so many fights and I'm here to wrap some shit.
I just came here to aid you.
Entertain you guys, you know?
Check yourself some fucking fights.
Joe, can you put me in the bottom corner?
Like I showed you?
Hey, guys, are you ready, homie?
You ready to handle this shit?
You ready to handle this shit like a champ, homie?
That's the entire corner.
Get that shit!
Get that shit, homie.
I hate that shit.
Stop, dude.
Get up, Colin.
This is my first fight, man.
Your first pipe ever?
Ever.
Are you bullshitting me?
His jaw is broken.
So is his orbital socket.
He's toast.
Yep, you make weird noise when you lock up.
You get knocked out on continent.
You're like, ah.
It's involuntary.
A lot of people's hands go up.
And then they don't know what happened at all.
They're like, what happened?
I've experienced that.
I didn't know who my kids were.
I knew my wife's Emily.
I knew Emily was an important name.
I didn't know why.
Why am I in Oakland?
Bad times.
You ever been knocked out, Joe?
Yeah.
What happened?
Got to a fight and got knocked out.
Yeah.
Went down.
What was the fight about?
It was about 30 years ago.
I can't remember.
I knew it was about, he was a little intoxicated.
Okay.
Were you a big drinker back in the day?
No.
Okay, I think we should wrap it up behind the paywall.
Before we go, though, so earlier, that thing, they say what Maddie was going to do to Joe.
So there was an incident recently where you Maddie was mad that you put some bass in your voice.
That sounds like prison talk to me.
I'm not familiar with it.
What does that mean?
Well, we were having a conversation, and Joe was a little perturbed and just kind of yelled at me.
And I don't take kindly to people yelling at me, so.
What did you say to Maddie, Joe?
I don't recall.
Yeah.
You don't recall?
This was like a week ago.
Not a little longer than that.
But two weeks ago?
Tactical Walls, Tactical Tim, a big support of the show.
He's a war vet.
He is an American patriot.
He's sponsored this show since day one.
And it seems that we have a disproportionate number of patriots.
And I believe it's because every other sponsor takes the knee because they get harassed by Antifa, by the woke mob, by the DNC, by everyone.
And it means that when you have a bunch of sponsors on a show like this, every single one of them has balls.
And Tactical Walls has balls.
However, even if they didn't have balls, you'd still want this in your home.
What a fantastic way to display your guns.
Look at that mod wall.
These are all made in America by Americans, patriot-owned, vet-owned business.
Look at that shit.
And if you live in a shitty state like New York, where it's illegal to have any kind of gun, you can get yourself a little kid finger painting and she can put her art on the mod wall.
No, they've got all kinds of places to hide your guns.
They've got places to, from tissue boxes to mirrors embedded in the wall, really quick access, home invasion, any kind of robbery.
You're going to be ready and armed.
And if they break in, they're not going to be able to find your stuff.
Also, if you don't have any guns, you can use it for your kids' baseball display, dirt bike stuff.
Joe's not doing the greatest job in the world of showing all the different things that Tactical Walls has.
But if you go to tacticalwalls.com, you use promo code Gavin and also Gavin15.
They both work.
You get 15% off your next order, which they ship to you.
Very easy to put together.
You need a level and you got to find out where the studs are.
And after that, you're good to go.
And the possibilities are absolutely endless with Tactical Wells.
Okay, so we're going to go behind the paywall now and we'll answer a couple more emails directed to Sir Matzalot and then we will take calls.
Now taking calls is complicated technically and we have a new engineer here.
So I'm predicting it's going to go so badly that we're just going to have to stop and end the show.
That's my prediction.
But then the next show will be better.
How this telethon is going to go, I have no idea.
Because this show has been a catastrophe.
And multiply this 50 minutes, 45 minutes, by upwards of 24, and you're going to have a literal shit show.
All right.
So wait, so now we end the show.
So, Joe, remember I told you how to end the show?
Hello?
Yes.
Okay, so we're going to end the show like that, and then that makes it, when they have, we put it on a podcast and stuff.
So that makes it a nice, you know, bookended, clean ending.
But we're not leaving.
So do the ending, and then I'm going to fake walk out and come back in.
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