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Dec. 18, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
43:04
GOML LIVE #127 - JOE'S FIRST DAY (Part 1)

Life without Ryan is taking a turn and what we thought we would be a painless transition is becoming very difficult.

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The Fartmane The Fartmane The Fartmane Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
The Fartmane The Fartmane The Fartmane The Fartmane I'm here for real.
I'm the Fartman.
Good job, Brian.
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There we go.
He's running the bird, which is the bald eagle.
And we have an important announcement to make.
We are debuting our new engineer, producer, sidekick.
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Joe Tonelli!
Woo-hoo!
Really?
Hi, guys.
How are you?
How are you, buddy?
Nope.
We gotta... There you go.
So say hi.
Hi everybody, welcome.
So you gotta talk into the mic.
Okay, now I got it, okay.
So Joe, now that you're a new addition to the show, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Let me see, my name's Joey Tonelli.
You gotta face the microphone.
Oh, sorry, first day.
Born and raised in Rye, New York.
No, no, you gotta face the microphone.
Okay, how's that?
Is that better?
Sure, you could twist it towards your face.
Okay, got it.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
How old are you?
You seem pretty old.
Uh, 58 years old.
58?
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, what's your background as far as media and producing shows goes?
Actually, this is my, uh, my first gig, so I'm willing, I'm giving it a shot to see how I do.
Okay.
Um, so, sorry, go back again, where, what's your story?
Oh, uh, this is my first time.
Right, but what's your, who are you?
I mean, we have to introduce you to the people.
Well, uh, who am I?
What do you want to know?
Where are you from?
Like, what would your Grindr write-up be?
Well, you know, like I said, born and raised in Rye, New York.
Went to Rye High School.
You got to face the mic.
Okay.
Went to Rye High School.
Born and raised in Rye.
You know, basically, uh, you know, uh, I was out and I lived out in Arizona for a little while.
And, um, you know, uh, I got a background in like safety and risk management and, you know, whatever.
And so I'm just giving this a shot, uh, right now because, uh, safety is not really cutting it right now.
So.
Are you, are you married?
Uh, no, I was.
Do you have any kids?
I have two grandkids, a granddaughter and a grandson.
Oh, do you, did you have kids, immediate kids or did you just skip right to grandkids?
No, I have a daughter, a 25-year-old daughter.
Oh, okay.
She's gonna be 26 on December 23rd.
Oh, okay.
Yep.
So that's your story, and you're sticking to it.
I'm sticking to it.
All right, well, we've got, the way this show goes is we're free for the first half hour, and then we go behind the paywall, and we read mail, and we take calls.
There's just so much to squeeze into a live show that I don't like to go through the news.
Okay.
Okay.
Got it.
Have you ever been shot at Joe?
Have I been shot at?
Yeah.
Uh, no, I mean, you know, I worked when I was a medic in the South Bronx, I, um, you know, uh, you know, back in the day, back in the eighties, um, yeah, uh, South Bronx was for the Apache back then.
So we, you know, um, they were trying to score, you know, our narcotics back in the day, but, um, yeah, I mean, we, uh, you know, was I hit?
No.
Okay.
What happened with your marriage?
Uh, it just didn't, uh, didn't work out.
Okay.
Uh, you know, didn't work out.
Now your mom is Scottish, like my mom.
Uh, yeah, she was born in, uh, Glasgow.
Same with us, same with Maddie.
Yep.
We all have Glaswegian moms.
Yeah, my mom was, uh, last name was Hardy.
H-A-R-T-Y-O is her maiden name.
Glasgow mom crew.
Yep.
Does she love you?
Is she still around?
Uh, no.
Mom passed in February of 2020.
How did she die?
What'd she die of?
Uh, dementia.
She died of dementia.
Okay.
Uh, let's get back to me.
Um, so go to the right camera, Joe.
Great.
Sorry, bear with me.
Apologize.
No problem, no problem.
Now, while I'm talking about the sponsors, I want you to pull up their web pages.
So we're going to start with Nita Fashions.
Nita Fashions has been with us for a long time.
I don't want to toot my own horn, but we are a major part of Nita Fashion's income.
We got them through the pandemic.
I would say 60% of their clients are baby monsters.
There's a lot of lawyers and sales dudes who need to have a good 10 suits, but there's normal blue collar dudes who need that one suit for funerals and weddings.
When they get circumcised.
That's where Anita Fashions comes in.
I've got my whole new wardrobe for the marathon which is happening in less than 24 hours and it's lasting for 24 hours.
At 6 p.m.
tomorrow.
6 p.m.
Joe and I will be together taking you through a 24-hour shift of the show.
We'll be interviewing everyone who's on the network.
We have every single contributor spanned out too.
And it works because, you know, Australia and Britain and Hawaii, we got Lotus, Dusty Bogan and Katie Hopkins.
They can be in the wee hours of America time and they're in normal time on their zone.
So they'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed when we're fucking exhausted at 5 a.m.
And I'll be wearing my Nita Fashions tuxedo, which is silk-lined.
Red silk.
You should get a Nita Fashions suit, Matty.
I'm gonna.
For your various court dates, which are inevitable.
Would you wear a suit when you went to court?
Depending on, like when I went to trial and stuff like that, I wore suits.
With a tie?
Yeah.
I mean for like a regular local court or until you start unless you're in custody they you go in your regular street clothes but um when you go to trial they let you put a suit on.
And did it help with your sentencing?
Ah so like people's like shaved to get the hair cut they look all like neat from the apartment it's all foregone bullshit they don't give a fuck what you look like they know what they're doing before you get there so.
Yeah, they know how long they're going to put you away for.
Exactly.
So Nita Fashions is great for all of that.
And what I keep saying on the show is you've never experienced wearing a tailored suit.
It feels like PJs.
In fact, as a blue-collar LARPer, I wear thick denim and wax pants and these thick flannels and red wings.
I'm very uncomfortable in my leisure wear.
I actually look forward to going to work because I wear a suit and can finally be comfortable.
Oh, I like those lapels too.
That's the hot thing now.
Peaked lapels.
All my new suits have those lapels.
Anyway, Nita Fashions.
I think the best way to contact them is to DM them on Instagram.
Set up a measurement thing.
They just got back from a world tour, so they probably won't be doing that for a while.
And get all your measurements done from home remotely.
And then they can send you samples, swatches.
You can do all of this remotely.
Then you get this wonderful package from FedEx.
It's like Christmas in your house.
So that is... What's the URL, Joe?
I'm sorry, what's that?
What's the URL?
What's the website name?
HTTP colon slash slash www dot.
Is it Nita Fashion is all one word?
Yeah, NitaFashions.com.
AnitaFashions or NitaFashions?
Anita.
N-I-T-A, yeah, Fashions.com.
Why are you adding an A at the beginning?
Like Anita Harding.
Oh, no.
NitaFashions.
Nita, Nita.
Okay.
So that's our intro.
Um, what are we thinking of Joe so far?
Going well?
Uh, you know.
Can you cut to Matty, Joe?
He's making an effort.
I'll just wait.
There we go.
Hey, what do you think?
Um, a little rough around the edges, but you know, Joe has had a very storied career.
Uh, he's been in the army military.
He's been, uh, in jail.
He's been, uh, an all around guy, a medic.
He's a man's man.
EMT.
What was that story, Joe, where you were on the highway with the helicopter and you got hit by a car and it fucked up your spine.
That's a good story.
That's the story?
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell the story.
Massive pileup on the freeway.
He's in the EMT.
He's in a helicopter.
Lands on the highway.
Some guy breaks through the barricades, drunk, hits Joe as he's putting, I think, a kid onto the helicopter.
Fucks up his spine.
He's had a stiff neck ever since.
Is that the way the story went, Joe?
Yes.
He said yes.
I don't know if his mic is on.
Yes.
Okay.
Are you talking to someone there, Joe?
Who are you looking at?
Oh, no, I'm not.
I'm looking at the keyboard.
Okay.
You said a keyboard.
Okay.
So did I, did I do a good job of your drunk driving story?
Sure.
All right.
Let's just shoot the shit for a second, Matty, before we get into the mailbag.
I was just talking to some dads on the phone here and there.
Their prediction is that school does not go back after the Christmas break.
And it's a repeat of last year with fucking Zooms and bullshit.
And you know who really suffers from that is kids in shitty neighborhoods.
Yeah, because they their parents don't discipline them and they I talked to these teachers in the in this neighborhood in the South Bronx and they They go out of a class of 30.
I'll have three kids Because the parents are still asleep.
I'll have three kids that are ready to go at 9 2 will be playing video games and one Will be like, okay.
What are we doing today teach?
Yeah sad I don't understand what the hell is going on.
Can you cut to Matty, please?
He's just talking there in the abyss.
So, uh, you know, Monday, obviously, uh, Governor Kathy Hochul, she, uh, implemented the mask mandate for the entire state of New York.
Which is bullshit.
What is that now to non-New Yorkers?
Everyone in every business, every employee has to be vaccinated.
All indoor public spaces, you are required to wear a mask regardless of your vaccination status.
So basically the masks are back on if you want to go to the supermarket, to the gas station, to the bank, to anywhere that's a public space.
Wait a minute, but at our bar you don't have to wear a mask if you have a vaccination card?
I think the businesses have to implement a vaccination verification but Fuck all that shit.
I mean, why would I tell anybody my medical history?
Right, but just for the record, if you have a vaccination card or proof of vaccination, you don't have to wear a mask, but everyone needs at least that.
Every gym, if you don't have a vax card, you need a mask.
I know my nephew's gym, they said if you don't have vaccination, you can't go there anymore.
It's like, really?
It's pretty funny.
He said, my sister told me, she goes, you walked in and the girl says, Oh, do you have your vaccination card?
He goes, well, do you have AIDS?
That's the proper reaction.
And the girl at the desk just looked at him.
Yeah, have you ever had AIDS?
Do you have chlamydia?
What are your STDs?
Yeah, that was the one I saw.
I can't remember what state.
It was the governor somewhere.
He was leaving the podium, and somebody asked him, one of the reporters said, are you vaccinated?
And he turned around, and his assistant or something said, that's a very inappropriate question.
He comes back to the podium.
He goes, no, no.
He goes, do you have any STDs?
Have you ever had any STDs?
And the guy's like, uh, what?
He goes, yeah.
You're not going to tell me, so why would I tell you my medical history?
You know, where's it end?
I still don't believe that, like, HIPAA laws are there to protect our privacy and our own personal medical records.
And here's the other thing.
Deaths are not going up.
This whole thing is over.
We're all about this Omicron variant, whatever the fuck it's called, and there's been zero deaths.
It's just more propaganda.
It's more bullshit.
Like, I'm actually impressed today.
I saw a couple of things that said there's a few counties In New York that are like they're Bucking the system saying no, we're not following the mandates.
We don't care what you say.
We're choosing not to To enforce or go abide by your mandate I'm really surprised by that because I just assumed every politician wants to kiss the governor's ass.
Yeah, fuck that.
So what are the counties?
Is it Rockland?
Rockland, Dutchess, Putnam, and Madison, which I believe is like way upstate.
So Rockland is where the Weather Underground killed those two cops in Nyack and the post office is named after them.
Maybe they're not into Cuomo, the guy who freed the Weather Underground from prison.
All right, shall we dive into the mailbag, Joe?
Sure, absolutely.
Okay, so I showed you the little thing where you show the doohickey, the mailbag, where we make fun of our ex.
We're gonna have to change all this shit now that Ryan's gone.
Yeah.
Joe, shut up, your parents are dead.
Gotta come up with a new song.
Gotta come up with, folks at home, if you can come up with a new song.
Um, I'm not sure what we're doing with this giant piss screen.
Here we go.
Not getting any audio.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Anyway, Ryan, shut up.
You don't have a dad.
Let's take our, what is it?
Something.
Gavin's mail bag.
And then it's let me touch it.
But wait, what comes after Don't Have a Dad?
Let's Turn Our Eyes to Gavin's Mailbag?
I think it's Let's Turn Our Eyes.
Can you pull up the audio for that fucking thing, Joe?
Guys, there's gonna be some hiccups.
Ryan was with us.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Let's pour some out for our dead homie, Ryan.
I wonder what he's doing now.
Not the smartest move in the world.
He's probably online slapping the bass.
No, he doesn't.
He makes songs that slap.
Oh, songs slap.
But he plays the guitar better than Jimi Hendrix.
But imagine you have a newborn and you decide, I'm going to quit my job.
His wife must be thrilled with his awesome decision making.
Okay.
Uh, but you know, we've had other producers in the past.
Ryan was one of many, if you recall.
We had Rat, the guy who was such a pussy, it inspired the Proud Boys.
Uh, we had David Kast, who was stolen from me by Laura Ingram.
We had John Serino, who was fired by Kumia's people for asking one of their clients for more money.
Which I thought was... Well, I'm not going to criticize my buddies, but it seemed pretty intense.
That was back when the cop ran the show there, Keith the Cop.
And then there was Ryan Katsu Rivera.
Funny guy, but incompetent.
Almost as bad as Joe.
But this is Joe's first day.
Are you going to be getting better at this, Joe?
I'll try.
I'll do my best.
You're gonna go to the electric chair?
Yeah.
Dude, we don't want you to fry.
And why do you keep showing Nita Fashions?
I think that's been established.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Wrong button.
Okay.
So I showed you this earlier, Joe, what we do is we go through the mailbag.
It should be in the archive section, right?
And I thought it would be fun.
If we just focused on ones that say Maddie, because sometimes people send in letters to Maddie and we get so many a day that by the time he's back here the following week, it's long gone.
So put in the search bar, Maddie.
Matt, Joe, who are you looking at?
Oh, no, I'm just, I'm looking at the keyboard here.
Sorry about that.
Multiple screens, trying to get it together over here.
Now you went to school in Scotland, correct?
Elementary school.
Oh, I thought it was high school.
You know, when I was in school in Scotland for a matter of months, when I was a very little boy, and there was a kid there, I've told this story a few times, it's my favourite story, and he was very, very poor.
He was from Paisley, which was up the road.
And, uh, he was so bored that his parents didn't have time for him.
They were both working, and he had lots of brothers and sisters, and he was the forgotten youngest.
So he loved coming to school, because there was like, it was warm, and there was paper, and you could eat stuff, and people looked at him, and he loved it!
So he gets a call and they're like, Angus McDougal, please come to the principal's office, Angus McDougal.
I think his name was Angus McDougal.
And he's like, that's my name.
See me.
I'm getting announced on the intercom.
Not sure what's happening here.
And they they take him to the principal's office.
Did I die?
I know.
This is called learning as we go.
Sometimes you don't have time to train a new guy.
And he was all excited that he got to go to the principal's office and then he came back about three hours later bald as a cue ball.
And people were not bald back then.
We were, this is 1974.
We're all little kids and there's this little five year old.
His head is bald as a cue ball and he comes in and he's still smiling.
Everything was good for him.
In retrospect, he's probably beaten by his dad.
So he's so happy to be away from him.
Sorry to put a bummer spin on that.
So we're all like, as he walks down the aisle back to his desk and we're all fixated on like, And then he sits down, still smiling, still bald, no eyebrows.
And he looks at the class and we're all looking back at him.
Even the teacher was going... And he looks at us all and he goes, I got lace!
He was thrilled.
So much attention.
People touching him.
People cutting his hair.
I am madder all of a sudden.
Okay.
You don't have to do anything for this, Joe.
I can handle it.
There's no graphics.
But if there's a picture or a video, I need you to bring it up.
Why are you playing the woman background?
This should be letters.
I need envelopes dancing around behind me.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
This is not good advertising, especially for the show tomorrow.
The marathon tomorrow is about getting our numbers up to 30,000.
And, uh... We're not really selling ourselves very well.
In fact, we're probably losing subscribers in the hundreds.
That was not really the objective here.
How are we going to do 24 hours with this level of incompetence?
Joe, those are not envelopes!
Envelopes?
Those are envelopes.
No?
Okay.
Tricky little buttons.
They're very tiny buttons.
No more audio.
Because what's going to happen is, I think it's kind of funny now.
That you're fucking up?
But then there's going to be when the switch happens.
And it goes from like normal mistakes for a new guy to get your fucking shit together.
And we're drifting into that arena right now.
Oh for fuck's sakes, Joseph.
Those are not envelopes.
Those are televisions.
Envelopes are the things that you lick, that you would put, I don't know, your welfare check in?
There you go.
Right there.
Alright, Matty, someone has written a poem for you.
Oh, nice!
You ready for this?
I'm ready.
I hope I am.
For a number of weeks now, one Matty O'Dell has been gracing the show we call GOML.
This little monster, with a temper so short, has brought wisdom and flavor, I am glad to report.
He doesn't take shit, and he doesn't like liars.
As a lad, he was raised in a baptism of fire.
He was always a rough boy, as Pete Townshend knows well, but to cross him is to take one quick trip to hell.
His intellect uncanny, his insights profound.
One of a few in this world who can hold a candle to Eddie Glaude.
He couldn't indulge in Joe's lies or his fibs.
He was seconds away from destroying his ribs.
He's a poet, a preacher, a true bon vivant.
We've got Matty O'Dell.
What more could we want?
Joe, you're in this poem.
P.S.
Ryan, you suck and you've been playing all the segment transitions over the audio for the opening of this show.
Unfortunately, you're talking to someone who has left the company, sir.
But, uh, thank you for that.
Uh, maybe we should bring up the incident that you and Joe had the other day.
No, not, yeah, not on his first day.
Okay.
Because there was some words that were had.
We have, you know, I like Joe.
Joe's my buddy.
Okay.
Wouldn't it be funny if Ryan called in?
This is called Watch with Maddie.
So Joe, go through the subjects, assuming this didn't come up under Maddie, and find one that says Watch with Maddie.
By the way, Maddie, I sent you this.
I saw it on Chismob, and it was a bunch of convicts.
They were making burritos.
Yeah, yeah.
So they had taken the mattress off the bottom bunk, which is all steel.
Right.
They lit a fire with toilet paper underneath the bed.
So isn't that going to set off smoke alarms?
Not really.
I mean, people light fires all the time.
Like, they make tattoo ink and stuff with fire, and they make all sorts of stuff with fire.
What you do is, like, you either make a wick, like out of toilet paper... Can someone cut to Matty, please?
Joe, can you cut to Matty?
So... No.
Someone's talking.
You get toilet paper, I don't know, twice a week.
The COs give it out.
During count, they'll just drop two rolls of toilet paper in front of your cell.
But, like, if you're...
Uh huh.
flame, constant flame, is you roll toilet paper up and you twist it until it's thick.
And then they take hair grease that they sell on commissary.
Uh-huh.
And they'll fill up like a cup or a coffee cup and they'll fill it with grease and they'll grease up the wick and they'll light it like a candle.
So the grease keeps the, it's like a candle with a cup.
Oh, it's exactly like those buffet tables when you go outside or whatever.
But they do it with the toilet paper too.
I mean, they just put them on there.
I mean, I've seen people make food with, you know, stingers, you know, they use irons, anything that's going to get hot.
I mean, probably when that bunk was first used, see how it was painted gray and then it's got a big raw spot in the middle.
Yeah.
Like the paint, the paint's going to burn.
Yeah.
That'll do it.
But somebody did it at some point where they're going to just find something metal or something and try to scrape all the paint off before they do it.
It looked like a party.
Okay Joe this is probably pretty ambitious for you but I'm going to try to send you what I am talking about.
Uh, where did I send that to you, Mattie, on Instagram?
Um... Because I was just so impressed... I think you sent it to me in a message and then I had to tell you that it was just taking me to the General Shishmobbing page.
It wasn't like the specific clip.
Okay, so...
Joe, go to the Shizmobin page.
That should be one of our bookmarks.
It's a constant source of ours where we get our news.
I like how we're seen as this sinister evil hate list.
I'm on the Facebook hate list where you can't say my name.
I got restricted yesterday or the other day.
For what?
Cuz I wrote the day before like the the mandate came out like I had the sign that said, you know, New York State implements mask mandate starts December 13th or whatever Monday was and then I Like somebody wrote in magic marker, but we will not comply.
I posted that like Sunday night and it was good and And then the other day, like the next day or Tuesday or whatever day it was, I did it.
I wrote, um, fuck tyranny, fuck New York State, do not comply.
And then, but that got restricted and they restricted my account for a couple of days or whatever.
Isn't that amazing?
You're not allowed to say, do not comply.
Wow.
I mean, I understand, you know, if there's some dumb law and the police go, oh, you're not complying, you have to comply with this law.
That's fucked up.
Well, it's not a law.
Mandates aren't law.
Right, right.
But even in that scenario, like jaywalking, whatever, but now you're not even allowed to say, verbalize, or type.
So much for free speech, but...
It's like nobody's dying of Omicron.
No one's dying from COVID.
It's minimal.
It's over.
The whole thing is over.
It's sort of like at the end of World War II, a lot of Japanese kept their POWs and Germany kept POWs and made them help rebuild Germany.
They had to eventually get out.
I don't know how they eventually got out there.
I guess someone let it slip that World War II ended three years ago.
Okay, go down?
What the hell's that sound?
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's my phone.
I thought I turned it off.
What is your outgoing alarm?
It's Squad 51 from back in the 70s.
Okay.
Uh, nope, not Maddie.
Nope.
Not me.
Shiz Mobbin.
Nope.
Not the male.
And turn off your fucking phone, please.
Okay.
So scroll down.
Oh Lord.
Scroll down.
Yup.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Okay.
Not too fast.
Yeah.
Boy, they post a lot, don't they?
Shit, I hope it was shiz-mobbing.
No?
No, I think it might have been GrindFace.
Shit, it was.
Sorry, go to GrindFace.
GrindFace.
How do they get cameras into the prison?
Smuggling cell phones.
Wear up your ass?
Well, say if you were in MDC in Brooklyn or MCC in Manhattan, it'd probably cost you $3,500 for a phone.
How do you get that to the guard?
Outside.
Your people on the outside.
So, someone on the outside gives the guards, like mom or wife, $3,500.
Right, like someone will come visit you, tell them on a visit, you know, you gotta send money either, they may send it, you may meet in person, I doubt they'll meet in person, but it gets done quite frequently.
Yeah, I watch prison videos all the time.
When I was in MCC doing a violation, I, uh, I worked in the H because I was a cadre there because I was only doing violation 10 months.
And I was working in the H factory.
Like that was my job.
Turn that off, Joe.
That's not it.
Fucking guy.
Yeah.
Keep going.
and uh part of our daily job was to go around and uh in each cell you have a vent that blows in like fresh air and then you have a return vent that's on the floor so anything that you're not supposed to have like contraband or anything if you need to get rid of it quick and then shut the water off where you can't flush it you just throw down the return vent because there's no screen or anything on it so we would we would go me my buddy his name was Archie and uh another Scottish guy oh oh yeah and um
We would go around to where all the vents would come in, like in the, in the ventilation system and where they came down to an end, they would have a door and we'd open the door.
We'd find hooch, cell phones, weapons, all sorts of crazy shit.
And that's because the COs were dropping it off there?
No, no, no.
Like either somebody's cell was getting searched or they were doing a shakedown.
Right.
That sounds, you're making prison sound really fun.
No, no.
Okay.
So go back to grind face there, guy.
1, 1,000, 2, 1,000, 3, 1,000.
Scroll down.
Jesus H. Christ.
If you make me miss Ryan, I'll be impressed.
No, nah, nah, noop, noop.
I'm looking for a prison cooking.
This should be like a tenth of the time.
Oh, there it is!
You see those burritos?
Top left, right there.
These guys are having a good time.
Nope.
You gotta click on it.
Nope.
Wrong video completely.
There.
Burritos.
Left.
The burritos.
The burritos!
THE BURRITOS!
Holy shit.
It's like... This is where I start to wonder if you're hired by the feds to make me go insane.
Right there.
Are you a CIA operative?
Okay.
So there's, I don't get how there's, there's no smoke really.
No.
So I guess it's not going to set off any alarms, but there they are.
They got Doritos, Zappies, and then they got a giant bucket.
Oh yeah.
Cooking food on the weekend in the joint.
Wait, I heard music there.
It sounded like a fuck you dad.
We're not getting these interstitials are we?
Can I hear the audio for that please?
Lord.
Our telethon tomorrow is going to be all about why you left censored TV.
Alright, I give up.
Alright, so we should probably go behind the paywall now.
You know what's going on, that's what's going on.
I wouldn't tell you to come fuck with our grill, but it's surreal.
Straight up.
Hey, Joe.
Do you... Wait, where'd you go?
Do you, uh... What do you look at on Instagram?
What are your hot spots?
Turn that fucking thing off, please.
Just close the entire window.
- Do you, what do you look at on Instagram?
What are your hot spots?
Turn that fucking thing off please.
Just close the entire window.
Wow, this is a catastrophe.
What do you like to look at on Instagram?
I'm not much of a really Instagram person.
What are your social media sites?
I don't usually do a lot of social media.
There's just too much negative stuff out there.
Okay um now I've always been curious and no one can answer this for me I recall a time about six months ago where you were absolutely drowning in pussy you had a different chick over every week and it was all like hey did you get to meet Claudia and then it was then she was gone then it was Nancy or whoever they were and they came by and they'd get drunk and we had a gay old time with them they were pretty reasonable you're what 68?
Oh, thank you.
Fifty-eight.
Fifty-eight.
So they were all like forties and stuff.
They all look pretty darn good to me.
And then poof.
No more chicks.
What happened?
You meet them on the Internet.
It's not the same when you meet somebody in person or at a bar or something like that back in, you know, a little bit.
Internet dating is not the way to go.
I don't like it.
But that doesn't explain how it was nothing, nothing, nothing, sea of chicks, nothing, nothing, nothing.
What's that got to do with the Internet?
That's where you meet them today.
You can't, you know, it's hard to meet somebody.
But why did you stop meeting them?
Huh?
Why did you stop meeting them?
I wasn't, uh, I didn't like them.
I wasn't into them.
After a few months, it was not, uh, it was not for me.
But why were you into all those chicks and then not into those chicks just overnight?
That's it, you know.
Just wanted to get his hole.
Okay, but why would one be horny for a little while and then not before or after?
Can't answer that.
That's just the way it is.
Did you get your penis caught in your fly?
Uh, no.
No, he's good.
Joey T's good.
Oh, you have a name for your penis?
Yeah.
Joey T. You know what my dick's name is?
Uh, no.
This should be good.
Joe Tonelli.
Oh.
Okay, speaking of convicts, this is the last one before we go behind the paywall.
I was told to watch this with Matty.
Breathe, breathe.
You know what, dude?
Just stop touching buttons if there's nothing going on.
So this email is called Watch with Matty.
It says, convicts fighting for money.
Watch to the end to see what Matty was going to do to Joe.
Sounds like this guy's familiar with the beef you guys had.
So play that video.
It's from a guy named Lee.
Watch with Maddie is the subject.
It arrived across our desk, November 18th.
We're going way back here.
2021.
Watch to the end to see what Maddie was going to do.
This is not good advertising, is it?
Oh, this is ancient Chinese secret.
God damn.
Well, have you ever seen this video, Matt?
Done a little bit, yeah.
Where at?
Um, I did six years in YA and then, uh, 19 months in the joint.
What'd you do?
I stabbed some dude in the neck four times.
Cause he was a rat.
Gotta let him know what time it is.
What's one of your most memorable fights?
Probably that time that I stabbed that dude.
I expected him to drop, but he got up and wanted to fight.
So, it was pretty sick.
Blood was shooting out of his neck.
It was awesome.
My name is Tommy, I'm fighting for felony fights, and I'm here to wreck some shit.
What are you here to do?
I'm Miguel Alvarez, I just came here today to entertain you guys, you know?
Check yourself some fucking fights, some badass fights.
Joe, can you put me in the bottom corner?
Like I showed you?
Hey, you guys, are you ready, homie?
You ready to handle this shit?
You ready to handle this shit like a champ homie?
That's the entire corner.
Get that shit!
Get that shit homie.
I hate that shit.
Stop!
Stop!
What's up, Colin?
This is my first fight, man.
Your first fight ever?
Ever.
Are you bullshitting me?
He's jaw is broken.
So is his overall socket.
He's toast.
Yep.
You make weird noise when you lock up.
You get knocked out.
It's involuntary.
A lot of people's hands go up.
And then they don't know what happened at all.
They're like, what happened?
I've experienced that.
I didn't know who my kids were.
I knew, I knew my wife's Emily.
I knew Emily was an important name.
I didn't know why.
Why am I in Oakland?
Bad times.
You ever been knocked out Joe?
Yeah.
What happened?
Got into a fight and got knocked out.
What was the fight about?
It was about 30 years ago.
I can't remember.
I don't know what it was about.
I think it was a little intoxicated.
Okay.
Were you a big drinker back in the day?
No.
Okay.
I think we should wrap it up.
Get behind the paywall.
Before we go though.
What did you say to Maddie, Joe?
that thing, they say what Maddie was going to do to Joe.
So there was an incident recently where Maddie was mad that you put some bass in your voice.
That sounds like prison talk to me.
I'm not familiar with it.
What does that mean?
Well, we were having a conversation and Joe was a little perturbed and like just kind of yelled at me.
I don't take kindly to people yelling at me.
What did you say to Maddie, Joe?
Yeah.
You don't recall?
This was like a week ago.
Not a little longer than that.
Right.
Two weeks ago?
Tactical Walls, Tactical Tim, big supporter of the show.
He's a war vet.
He is an American patriot.
He's sponsored this show since day one and it seems that we have a disproportionate number of patriots and I believe it's because every other sponsor takes the knee because they get harassed by Antifa, by the woke mob, by the DNC, by everyone.
And it means that when you have a bunch of sponsors on a show like this, every single one of them has balls.
And Tactical Walls has balls.
However, even if they didn't have balls, you'd still want this in your home.
What a fantastic way to display your guns.
Look at that mod wall.
These are all made in America.
By Americans, patriot owned, vet owned business.
Look at that shit.
And if you live in a shitty state like New York, where it's illegal to have any kind of gun, you can get yourself a little kid finger painting and she can put her art on the mod wall.
No, they've got all kinds of places to hide your guns.
They've got places from tissue boxes to mirrors embedded in the wall.
Really quick access, home invasion, any kind of robbery.
You're going to be ready and armed.
And if they break in, they're not going to be able to find your stuff.
Also, if you don't have any guns, you can use it for your kids' baseball display, dirt bike stuff.
Joe's not doing the greatest job in the world of showing all the different things that Tactical Walls has, but if you go to tacticalwalls.com, you use promo code GAVIN, and also GAVIN15, they both work, you get 15% off.
Your next order, which they ship to you.
Uh, very easy to put together.
You need a level and, uh, you got to find out where the studs are.
And after that, you're good to go.
And the possibilities are absolutely endless with Tactical Walls.
Okay.
So we're going to go behind the paywall now.
And, uh, we'll answer a couple more emails directed to Sir Mats a lot.
And then we will, um, take calls.
Now taking calls is complicated technically and we have a new engineer here so I'm predicting it's going to go so badly That we're just going to have to stop and end the show.
That's my prediction, but then the next show will be better.
How this telethon is going to go.
I have no idea because this show has been a catastrophe and multiply this 50 minutes, 45 minutes by upwards of 24 and you're going to have a literal shit show.
Alright, so now we end the show.
So, Joe, remember I told you how to end the show?
Hello?
Yes.
Okay, so we're gonna end the show like that, and then that makes it, we put it on a podcast and stuff, so that makes it a nice, you know, book-ended, clean ending, but we're not leaving.
So do the ending and then I'm gonna fake walk out and come back in.
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