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Nov. 19, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:33:42
S04E56 - NOT GUILTY
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
You see the way I was walking?
That's the way I'm gonna walk at your real wedding when I give you away.
That would be very nice.
That's a great walk.
Thank you.
That's my giving Ryan away wedding walk.
It's got a matrimonial aura.
And once I do that at the wedding, you know what that gesture means?
Quarks.
It means I can't fuck you anymore.
Now your spouse gets to fuck you.
Since there's no fucking that happens between us.
Not anymore.
Not now that you're married.
That was a chick from Virgin Fest, Jezebel, Jezebel Gabbergably.
Gezabel Gabber Gabbly, I believe is her name.
And that song was Loser.
Great little jam.
I like this new genre of music.
Show the video there.
Kind of reminds me of the shoegaze indie rock era of my early 90s.
Where some of you were born.
I was going to play this banger, Cherry Cheeks.
I think they're from Portland, probably Antifa.
That doesn't mean they can't rock.
Although I couldn't enjoy it if it was Antifa, to be honest.
You know what I was thinking about the other day?
People are like, it's hypocritical for you to get mad when the left does this, but you don't get mad when the right does it, and you're always making excuses.
And I used to not make excuses and be like, okay, our side fucked up.
Not anymore.
Now it's partisan.
Now if a liberal does something bad, I showcase it and, and I turn the other cheek when the right does it.
Your cherry cheek.
My cherry cheek.
This is a war.
So I'm not playing fair anymore.
Like, what was the recent thing?
Oh yeah, photographing jurors that the Antifa was doing.
We should have been photographing jurors too.
Scaring them the other way.
In Ahmad Arboret's trial right now.
Let's do it at Ahmad.
Let's have patriots take pictures of Ahmed's jury.
Okay, let's hear this cool jam.
I love that art.
That's a fun jam.
And then, this is all from Baby Monsters, by the way.
100% of these opening songs.
And then someone turned me on to this Northern Englander Sam Fender.
This is going to take, it's kind of a slow build.
I basically consider Northern English Scottish.
I mean, Liverpool and Glasgow are the same fucking city.
In fact, Leswegians go to Liverpool on vacation for some weird reason.
Turn it up, dude.
I can't hear Shiznit.
Snot?
You remember Snot videos?
The busy's round us.
Britain is so small.
Like you go into one of those little houses and there's a little electric fireplace in the lobby and everything has a door to conserve energy and the fucking washers and dryers look like little fat bubbles.
Fridges.
The most a fridge a British person will have was like two little fridges.
Not me, but shut up.
God squatted over the ocean and out plopped England.
That's from Gangs of New York.
Right.
But England is just one province of Great Britain.
Don't you mean he pooped out Great Britain?
England's just the bottom part, Ryan.
Not even the whole bottom part.
Wales has got the other half.
Anyway, thank you for stopping.
Not just sort of tipping the show in one direction, just stopping it like a freight train.
Bonk!
I just sent this meme to my wife.
I don't know.
Memes are funny, but about once every week or so, you see one that you literally LOL.
And this is the funniest meme I've seen in a long time.
When your homie starts driving 150 miles an hour and says, I loved her, bro.
Look at the way he's gripping the side there.
That's that little weird, handicapped Eastern European dude that's always with the MMA fighter that Connor hates.
What's his name again?
Muhammad Muhammad.
So he's got that Gary Coleman thing where he's a big man in a little body.
By the way, Kevin Hart is going to be playing Gary Coleman in some sort of biopic.
So it was already weird to see Gary Coleman play a little kid because he was a man.
He was like, he's playing an eight-year-old, but he was about 14 during that show.
And he never grew, so that was fine.
Willis was the problem.
But Kevin Hart playing a man, playing a child?
Kevin Hart's like my age.
He's got white hair.
He can't be an eight-year-old.
That's just bizarre.
All right.
Also in the news, I think Tim has reached the top as far as success goes.
He comes up with a kooky idea to build an RV studio.
Okay, I don't know if that's going to work.
You got to get on satellite and stuff.
That's a big, it's really expensive.
And he took, he has the balls to be.
Is it kind of exciting?
And it's a smashing success.
His first stop is in Austin.
He drives from Virginia to Austin.
And he gets...
Drew Hernandez is a good get to start with.
Then you throw in Blair White, also awesome.
Then Alex Jones comes along.
Okay, now it's the cream of the crop.
And then you got Joe Rogan.
And Luke is a good get too, but he lives with Tim, I believe.
Malice is also there.
Oh, yeah, Malice.
But that's my question in the beginning here.
Is this Blair White saying, isn't it awesome?
Is this kind of exciting, though?
Like, obviously, the world has gone completely into chaos.
Yes.
It's integrated.
Who is that?
Whoa, that's a tough one.
Or Michael.
That's a tough one.
Is it?
Is it right?
It's kind of exciting, though.
Like, obviously, the world has gone completely into chaos.
Yes.
It's integrated.
Like, we are in this.
It sounds like a tranny.
I could take that audio sample and be gone for a month.
And you'd come back and there'd just be like red strings all over my garage.
The world has gone completely into chaos.
Yes.
It's integrated.
Like, we are in this weird place.
I'm leaning to malice.
It's malice.
It is malice.
It's malice, yeah.
The first two listens do not indicate that.
The first two listens were Blair.
Blair.
Blair.
With her giant feet.
She looks great.
But I was looking at her and I was like.
That's a dude.
Shaming myself for thinking that she looks great.
But you know what it's like?
It's like how when they make food for like commercials, it's like you can't, you wouldn't want to eat it, but it looks great.
This is Blair White.
It's glue and...
Yeah, I mean, the question they always ask is an ugly dude or, ooh, what the fuck is that?
It's glue so that way it looks like cheese when they lift it up.
Oh.
There's Blair.
God bless her.
I like all of those people a lot.
Yeah, awesome show.
But you got to think, every time you see a training, you're like, so I'm fucking you.
And then I look down and there's basically a child's penis.
Because it's not even a normal dick.
The estrogen shrinks it.
And call me crazy, but the last thing I want to see when I'm fucking a woman is a baby's dick.
Sorry.
Locento.
Yeah, I ran through me sleeping with her in my brain.
And then she like laid it out.
She's like, no, no, no.
I'm calling her she because I respect her.
Okay.
And she's.
I'll permit it.
No, I'll just go turn around.
I'll turn around and walk away.
And I'll pull my pants down so you don't see the front.
And I'll be like, okay.
And she's like, just pretend like I'm on a period.
This is what people keep forgetting about her.
But then I wake up in the morning and she has like a little bit of stubble coming in, like five o'clock shadow, because she's Latino, right?
So she's got to be with the razor all day.
And then you're like, uh-oh.
So it doesn't work.
Or do you think when she's waking up, she's still asleep, and she's like, get the fuck out of here, asshole?
I'll fucking kill you, man.
That would feel terrible.
Fuck around and find out.
You messed with the wrong guy.
Hey, good morning.
In her sleep, right?
Hi.
Guy fart just.
Yeah, fuck you.
Suck my dick, pussy.
Blair, you're talking in your sleep.
What?
What?
Oh, my God.
Same with Sean King sleeping.
Get out of here, you guys.
The fuck's your problem?
Sean, you're having a bad dream.
Oh, oh, oh, for real?
Oh, word.
You said, oh, my lord, last night in your sleep.
No, I didn't.
I said, oh, my lord.
I said, Lodi, Lodi.
Lord, a lot of no, you said, oh, my lord.
That was Jim Goad's idea, too.
Sean King is almost in a car accident.
He's like, Jesus fucking Christ.
Did you see that?
That came out of nowhere, motherfucker.
Jesus, Jiminy crickets.
Jiminy Cricket.
Oh, for Pete's sakes.
Watch it, Buster.
I mean, yo, motherfucker.
Buster is technically a hood term.
And then my final thing in the opening fun stuff.
Oh, yeah, here's another thing I want to add.
This chick, Diane Rantamaki, she appears to be like a northern European Japanese person who has a semblance of a sprinkle.
And I saw the voices she does where she's a little kid and she's talking to her dad.
Her name's Derek.
And I was like, that's cool.
And it's funny.
And I'm willing to give a sprinkle stamp onto it.
And then I'm like, wait a minute.
She has an accent.
The humor is very American and on point America-wise.
So either she's a huge American of file.
And then who does the voice?
Is her husband American?
And then I look into it and she's, I think she got in shit for it.
So she keeps naming him now.
It's another dude who's doing that exact same sketch with Derek and the dad.
So she's taking someone else's comedy and just acting it out verbatim, which is this new thing that Zoomers do.
First, it started with like singing and stuff.
And now there's someone with an entire comedy career and it's not their jokes.
I know that you've seen people doing like a Trump speech, Remember with the Bleach, and doing the other stuff.
Yes, I get that.
But there's usually a variety of voices ripping off.
This woman is basically, with very few exceptions, just this guy.
And she has millions of followers watching her act out someone else's jokes.
Isn't that fucking weird?
Yeah, this is from...
I'm looking from the other day.
This was in the other days?
No, I just sent it now.
Oh.
Why wouldn't you go with most recent?
I'm checking last Thursday.
You did not send it then.
Me, no, have it.
No?
Maybe I was in the pariah.
I know who you're talking about, though.
It's that little girl with the big head.
Yeah, here, I'll send it to you now.
And when I first saw it, I, you know, being an old man, I was like, that's a funny lady doing a funny bit.
The end.
But then I look into it more, and she's just stealing another guy's entire act.
And in his act, he uses the same filter.
So she's in a cover band.
It's a comedy cover band that's about as popular as the band.
What if a Van Halen cover banditor?
You saw that?
Yeah, and I saw you take her up to your room.
You saw that too, huh?
That was crazy.
That was crazy.
I know me.
I just met her at the door.
I'm telling mom, you son of a bitch.
Hey, dad.
See, her movies are funny.
She's got an insane forehead.
But then go click on Jason Banks comedy.
Is that a hyperlink?
Or is she just listing it as a thing?
So she's got like 200 of those.
She sells t-shirts of that guy.
Everyone loves her.
She does cameos as that guy.
Which doesn't make sense because she can't do that voice.
It's just such a weird phenomenon.
A comedy cover band.
That's him, yeah.
What are you guys doing in here?
We're coloring and drawing.
But Adam's blind.
Why don't you do something he can do?
He can't even see.
But he's having fun.
Look at him.
All right, I guess.
Let me see what you made, Chad.
I made this.
You made a maple leaf?
That's a maple leaf?
What's it supposed to be?
A maple leaf.
Derek, what you got?
I made a fireman.
I made the muscles big, how I like them, and then I made the chest really nice and thick, kind of chiseled so you can kind of do that thing.
And then the beard, you know, I'm in love with beards.
Remember when our neighbor moved in and I saw his beard and I was like, Dad, look at this beard.
Okay, thank you.
Appreciate you.
Weird, huh?
Yeah.
Anyway, that's enough of that.
It's like idealist culture that we're living in.
My last segment, Ryan, did you make me a gay for men interstitial yet?
No.
I got to get that, please.
But I have a good concept for it.
I'm gay for men.
Everything they do gives me a boner.
Except sex.
That's gross.
And I look at this and I'm just like, men.
Why do women hate us so much?
Look at this fucking insane invention.
And it's made by Support Works.
This is how it's done.
A penny-sized hole is drilled into the concrete.
The polymer is injected underneath the slab.
Then the foam goes to work.
It expands until the concrete is perfectly level.
Whoa.
This mesmerizing foam levels craft concrete.
How cool is that?
The product is called polylevel.
That's going to kill a lot of pet peeves.
Yeah.
Well, that's one of my top pet peeves.
Is you're walking down the sidewalk and the stones are all up like that because of the branches of the tree.
And you're like, are you not familiar with trees?
It didn't occur to you that this was going to grow and be very big.
Rolling around with my little baby in the stroller, terrible.
I can brave those.
I can bear the brunt of those.
No stones near the tree.
The roots are going to be coming up, dumbass.
I mean, how long have we had sidewalks for?
Get it together, people.
All right, let's start the show.
Any progress on that, interstitial?
I just have to add the audio.
So, no.
No.
This is the same.
What did you do this morning when you came in?
I got food and also a surprise.
Oh, you have a surprise?
But not for today.
It's for a different day.
Hitting it.
What a dumb way to announce a surprise.
That didn't work.
Okay, wait, hold on.
What went wrong?
Here we go.
And ideally, you react to that.
You're like, whoa, a fucking truck.
And then when you see Trump.
Okay.
So.
Just say, let's start the show, and that'll be the keyword.
Okay.
New York, New York, New York.
It's really not that.
All right.
That's all my fun, silly segments.
Let's start the show.
Oh, wait, I forgot.
Yeah, I was thinking about something else entirely.
You just completely abandoned the idea.
I was thinking of the time, how long we've been talking.
We have to bank episodes for Thanksgiving.
We'll just do three mailbags.
Here we go.
Okay.
Wait, wait, I forgot again.
Are you kidding?
I swear to God.
You made a surprise face.
I know.
That 50% of me was in the moment.
The other 50% was like, well, we'll cover the desk with leaves more fall.
But I don't have enough flannel shirts here.
I'm going to have to go.
Maybe we'll do more Monday.
You're doing it again.
Okay, I'm ready now.
Let's start the show.
From the left to the right, the truck comes in.
Doubt here?
Yeah.
So you'd follow the truck, ideally.
All right, let's start the show.
What the heck?
A monster truck.
We're going to pay.
I'm up to you.
You're the dumb truck that waits on Donald O'Donnell.
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
How was that?
That was great.
LGBT is the first order of the day.
J.K. Rowling.
So now do that.
Oh, we want the gay intro.
Yes.
Because when things are gay, we like to.
That's kind of a flaw with the plan.
Yeah.
So maybe I'll start talking and I'll be like, okay.
So J.K. Rowling is not invited to the Harry Potter, I don't know, reunion party, 20-year anniversary.
Everyone can go, but not J.K. Rowling because of a horrible tweet she said.
Let's start LGBT.
Yeah, so I do an intro and then we go to the next interest.
We'll find out more in LGBT.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's cool.
Coming up, LGBT after this break.
And then we fell in love.
And then they eat their poop, and we have a very good relationship.
I don't like the fucking shit.
You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus and you ain't gay, man.
You are gay.
What's that last one from?
I don't know.
You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus and you ain't gay?
That sounds like Jordan Peele, maybe?
Maybe.
Song.
There's a song of gay, gay, gay, gay.
Yeah, go to the link.
So you go, all right, the author, the woman behind the whole thing, isn't invited to the thing.
She must have said the N-word.
She must have said AIDS was God punishing homos.
She must have said the Holocaust never happened and the Jews are lying and there was 3,000 Jews that were killed.
Horrible stuff, right?
Let's go look it up.
So Sweet Jess looks it up.
And this is the horrible thing that J.K. Rowling said that has her canceled.
And it is, if sex isn't real, question, there's no same-sex attraction.
If sex isn't real, the lived reality of women globally is erased.
I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives.
It isn't hate to speak the truth.
That's what got her canceled.
Imagine 10 years ago someone said that.
You'd be like, what?
Yeah.
I know.
Everyone knows that.
What are you talking about?
Sex isn't real.
Are you okay?
Five years ago, I think, if you said that, people would go, what?
Is this a prank?
Why are you saying sex isn't real?
Everyone knows that sex is real.
Sex is real.
Yeah, what a fucking weirdo.
And it's so true.
Like, it's almost like a brand.
Like, when I heard that those college admissions were being faked and people were selling them, I'm like, I don't know why anyone went to jail for that.
It's just the college destroying their brand.
If we said you could be a proud boy just by blinking three times, well, then it wouldn't mean anything to be a proud boy.
And it means it's very hard to become punk.
You need boy of London bondage pants, a leather motorcycle jacket with zippers.
It's thick real leather.
You need Dr. Martin boots.
They have to be perfectly tied.
Your hair has to be cut a certain way, shaved.
You need colors in your hair.
And then that's just the outfit down now.
Now you have to go to shows regularly, promote shows, get in the pits, support the scene, all that stupid shit.
And even then, people are like, you're a fucking poser.
How long have you been in the scene?
I know that's all lame, but it's suffice to say that it's harder to become a punk than it is to be a woman.
So like when they talk about these refugees in, where was it, where the women were getting raped to death?
Syria or something?
It's the Christian woman that they abuse, the Taliban.
Now that's just like people are getting raped.
And you go, okay.
So now I'm not focused on women anymore.
Now it's just like we got to stop these people getting raped.
You just trivialized rape.
Way to go.
And that brings us to this Joe Rogan interview with this guy.
It's just a silly little anecdote, but it says, Tomes, Tomes, listen to this.
Turn it up.
Yesterday, because he couldn't wait.
My roommate from med school, who's a urologist, called me yesterday because he couldn't wait to tell me this ridiculous story.
So a colleague of his, this female urologist who's badass surgeon, was giving a lecture to the medical school, which is common, right?
You'll always have the surgeon will come in or the doctor will come in.
And before she got up to give her lecture, the dean said to her, I'm not making this up.
This is a urologist giving a lecture to a group of medical students, said, I would appreciate it if you would not use the word penis during this lecture.
He said it before the lecture?
Yeah.
She said, it's an anatomic term.
I'm a urologist.
What would you like me to say?
And he came up with some idiotic...
Oh, he said, maybe you could call it male erectile tissue.
And she was like, well, she's now fucking with him.
She's like, but what if it'sn't the use of male also be kind of triggering in that sense?
I mean, good point.
Yeah.
I mean, and she basically told him to piss off.
She's like, what did this, this guy was the dean?
The dean of the medical school.
And I assume he's a doctor as well?
He should be.
Yeah, yeah.
If he's a dean of medical school, he would be an MD.
What in the fuck is wrong with people?
And then someone pointed out, I remember like the first wave of this shit, feminists and activists and gay saying, penis, it's a vagina.
Don't be ashamed of it.
We're not ashamed of these terms.
Don't call it a Willie or a Fanny or a Poon.
It's a vagina.
It's a penis.
And now those people are like fucking Nazis.
How dare you say penis?
And erectile tissue is part of a penis.
That's like calling a human head nostrils.
I have a headache behind my nostrils.
We're calling Britain England.
Yeah.
This was interesting, too, because you go down this slippery slope of bullshit, and the idiocy includes a trans woman going to the gynecologist and demanding that the gynecologist,
who knows nothing about dicks, by the way, look at your labia.
Notice that your labia are very long and they seem to have two, I think they're cysts.
You have two perfectly symmetrical matching ball-shaped cysts in your labia.
Your clit is engorged.
It's five inches long.
I've never seen that before.
But the most concerning thing about your disgusting vagina is that there's no hole.
There's a piss hole in your clit.
That's a problem.
But usually in between the labia here, and your labia is disgusting, by the way, there should be a hole for the baby to come out of.
So here's what I propose.
We dig a hole in between your two cysts.
We cut out their cysts.
Oh my God, they look exactly like male testicles.
Anyway, then we try to, I don't know, put ice on your clit to make it normal sized.
Some of y'all aren't ready to hear this, but it's transphobic for a gynecologist not to treat pre-op transfem patients under HRT.
My girl dick is as much a feminine organ.
So you can't say penis, but you can say girl dick.
My girl dick is as much a feminine organ that my body treats just like a vagina as the next girl and deserves specific women-oriented health care.
Sound good?
What does she mean my body treats it like?
When you masturbate, you rub your giant clit.
You don't jerk off?
Or does your body send blood there for your period?
I know that post pre-op trans women still have their periods, and it can be very disturbing for them.
Let's go to the next video where we see someone who looks like my old producer complaining that his period is everywhere.
And for a trans man like myself, that is very traumatic.
Basically, it causes dysphoria and look at this.
You can't even handle your fucking wig.
Like, just like the punk thing.
We would wear those Dr. Martin boots all summer.
Our feet would be drenched in sweat.
We were fucking boiling wearing leather jackets in July, but you had to because that's what punks do.
And this guy can't even wear his stupid costume for fucking a couple hours.
Look how much more work it is to be punk than it is to be a woman.
Go ahead.
What?
What?
Are you dying?
Do you have any midol?
No, babe.
Don't those seem fake?
Yes.
Hello, you're beautiful.
Don't have any midol.
Having a period.
And for it.
That last one may be not.
No, I think they were all fake.
What a grosser.
Okay, this trans thing brings us to the war on kids because they really seem into our kids.
Change the interstitial, Ryan.
Here we go.
I had a tech channel break.
Who wants to pick up my back?
We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
I have an eight-year-old son, a 12-year-old son, a 13-year-old son, I mean, and a 15-year-old daughter.
Two teens and a little kid.
The little kid has his best friend.
They go to boxing together on the weekends.
If he wants to go to the skate park, he'll go with him.
That's his pal.
He has two other pals that are sort of new pals, new school.
He gets along with them.
We had to run on play dates yet.
He knows his best pal's mom, knows of her.
So there's that, there's the friends, right?
There's his teacher, there's his parents, his grandparents.
That's it.
That's all he knows.
Those are the only people he knows.
And biologically, little kids were vulnerable, right?
The other tribe's going to rape them, smash them in the head with a rock.
They're weak.
So they naturally have evolved to be wary of strangers.
And if you'll notice this with an eight-year-old who'll be like, can I have a hot dog, please, please, please, please, please?
You go, okay, here's five bucks, go buy it.
They won't do it.
They don't want to interact with the guy and give him the money and get the hot dog.
You do that.
And that's a natural cave thing.
So that's why I found this particular video especially galling.
I want to talk to the kids.
Parents watch the video and then hand the phone over to the young kids.
Hi there.
I get asked a lot, are you a boy or a girl?
I'm a mentally ill girl.
And so I wanted to just tell you, sometimes human beings are more than boy or girl.
Wrong.
Sometimes we're something else.
Sometimes we're both.
Sometimes we kind of float.
See, just pause.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
My son doesn't want to know you.
He doesn't want to know your little quirks and quarks and what makes you tick.
It's not on his radar.
Maybe when he gets older, maybe when he's 18, I can say, this is a mentally ill homo who thinks he's a woman.
You can play the game and use all their little words or you can just ignore them.
It's up to you.
But if you do it at work, you could get fired.
It's insane.
It's clown world.
So my advice to you, my son, would be just to ignore it.
And if you get fired, you get fired.
Go ahead.
In between, and sometimes we're a boy, sometimes we're a girl.
Because human beings are creatures and we're wild and exciting.
But I want to ask you a favor.
If you see a kid like me or would you be extra nice to them?
If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
Yeah, like anybody, we can feel lonely.
And so if you're kind to us, it would be really, really important.
Once again, based on the premise, all of this bullshit, getting kids involved in homosexuality, is based on the premise that there's tons of homo kids running around and they're getting bullied for it.
Fag.
Kids don't do that.
They don't know what a fag is.
Stop this with the protecting trans and gay children from abuse.
The only one that's going to be abusing them is you, you fucking pervert.
So don't worry about how kids behave.
Worry about how adults behave and mind your own fucking business, you self-indulgent queer.
Speaking of the war on kids, this I don't want kids, we shouldn't have kids, the world's overpopulated, has now reached the point where people wish they weren't born.
Remember last week we had the woman who wished she was an abortion because of the trauma of being adopted, and her boyfriend felt the same way.
This is the exact same thing.
I wish my grandma had gotten the chance to be childless.
Finally, we meet in the middle in this Venn diagram of ideology.
I wish you were never born, too.
I wish your grandma had gotten the chance to be childless.
The recent Texas abortion ruling, thank you, Michelle Wolf, makes the need for safe and legal abortions even more urgent.
My grandmother is proof.
So in this article by Jess Zimmerman, who I assume as she's typing it, the genie makes her wish come true and poof, she's gone.
Oof, I think God wishes you weren't born either.
Yeah, she's going to disappear as she writes this.
It's like Back to the Future.
As she's typing away, the fake picture on the mantelpiece is slowly fading.
I love that premise too in Back to the Future, where you're like, why is there only one person in this photograph and then all this background?
Oh, it was taken at a different time when those people existed.
I wish my grandmother was childless.
Okay, here.
There.
And then there's no CRT in schools.
It's all a lie.
Wait, what are you showing us?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you could have zoomed in a little bit on Mike when he was by the well.
Oh, no, he's gone too.
So now someone just took a picture of a well.
Why?
Does his sister have a shirt that said HIV?
That's good that she announces it.
Here is CRT in schools, and it's a black man and a white woman bitching about what it's like to walk down the street and be a second-class citizen and here, you don't belong here, boy.
It's not fair, blah, blah, blah.
Again, every time you hear these gripes, sub in someone who's abnormally tall, like 6'5.
Sub that in.
And it could be the same thing.
People ask me if I'm tall.
They want to know their height.
6'5, I say.
Inevitably, the next question is, do you play basketball?
I only had 25 cents, so I searched what to spend it on.
The cashier floated from aisle to aisle.
I spit some my hands.
That was the first time I realized skin color was a crime.
My body has become cause for right legislation.
Calls for ass snacks in a backup.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Go back.
Is she talking about skin tone of band-aids?
What the fuck is she talking about?
Go back.
I'm sorry.
My body has become cause-fright legislation.
Cause for ass snacks in the back of a class.
My body has demanded everything except respect.
I've been asked, what makes you feel unsafe?
And I struggle not to yell.
Everything, the first thing I realized I was black was in this white cafeteria.
I gathered my legs under me, made rockets on my feet, and approached the girl.
She told me she was not into my type of guy.
I felt the words shoot daggers into my melanin.
I have never wanted to disappear so bad.
Did you hear that?
So she's talking about his suffering, and he's talking about hers.
When he's doing her voice, he feels unsafe.
Everything makes him feel unsafe.
Do you want to look up the data on attacks, assault, rape, if you include prison?
Sorry, we're the ones that are unsafe.
Especially black men, actually.
So he doesn't have to do her voice.
And then she's doing his voice.
And the first time he realized that racism is everywhere is when a little girl wasn't interested in making out with him.
The fuck?
I'm not into your type.
You don't know what she meant.
And she's a little kid.
Who fucking cares who wants to fuck you when you're five?
You know, when I was five, because I was black, no one wanted to fuck me.
Accept my name.
Little lady is not said to me equal.
But to make sure I remember my place, I passed between wanting to own my body and accepting there is a one and four chance.
A man will lay cling to my skin.
I'll plot no blame for the taking.
The last day I realized I was black was in an elevator in California.
To the white woman that told me she knows what it feels like to be black because she grew up poor.
I would tell you to think before.
Stop.
That's enough.
Remember how boring high school was?
You sit down, you look at the clock, and you're trying to not look for 15 minutes is the goal.
And you do, and it's only been five.
So then you're crushed.
Eventually, you start getting to the 20-minute zone, and you realize now I'm doing beat poetry.
And you realize if I can only make it to 30 minutes, I'm good to go.
And then 30 to 45 isn't as bad as 15 to 30.
30 to 45, there's some progress with your sentence.
You might even get off early with probation.
45.
40 to 45 minutes.
Smooth fucking sailing.
We're done here.
Because in five minutes, it's going to be 10-2.
And then last 10 minutes, you're gathering your books.
You're ready to rock.
So that was when high school wasn't woke.
Now, you have all that boringness of staring at the clock and you're watching this utter horseshit.
We should try that, though.
Having a handlebar mustache getting mustard in my top lip every time I take a bite of my hot dog.
Dude, I could talk about being a Trump supporter in the burbs and the local Karens waging war on my entire family and my children.
You want to hear some gripes?
Try being a conservative in 2021 in a remotely liberal area, city, town, job site.
But we should do a poetry thing like that.
We'll write it out.
Where you say my gripes, like the things that suck about my life, and I'll say the things that suck about yours.
Imagine going to your car To see chicken noodle soup drenched all over the back of your hood because a camera next door thinks you're a Nazi.
Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing that.
Okay.
Well, imagine looking in the mirror and seeing what did anomalies say.
You look like a barista.
Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing a five-foot-tall Mexican guy who's actually a Puerto Rican Japanese guy who's who makes shitty music and is retarded.
Five foot six and the music is actually pretty good.
Oops, I'm doing me.
Imagine making songs up and you never make up a pre-chorus or verse.
Oh, thank you for reminding me, sir.
You're welcome.
Imagine driving drunk on a motorcycle, jeopardizing your Asian friend's paycheck and livelihood.
That was a long time ago, way before you were maybe even born.
I wrote a song today.
The fighting, the bitching.
No, the bitching, the moaning, the talking to yourself, the duty, the Donnie, the Donna Da.
You bet.
Oh, luckily I recorded because I already forgot.
Your friends got to turn around and see all the things that you're doing to me.
Yeah.
The bitching, the moaning, the talking to yourself, the griping, the nagging.
This life's a living hell.
Your friends got to turn around and see all the shit that they're doing to me.
So it's sort of like Island Boy.
All I really have, I'm not that confident with that chorus where it's like, the talking.
But I am very confident about the end of the chorus, which is, your friends got to turn around and see all the things that they're doing to me.
Yeah.
It's Motown.
My whole thing.
And then, shut up.
Then the second time you do it, it's another octave up.
And it's like, yeah, friends got to turn around and see all the things that they're doing to me.
Doing to me.
And you could add that little part at the end.
It's a callback.
All right, fine.
Yes.
Ryan was pushing for that all day.
I didn't want him to ruin my song with his shitmidas touch.
My whole thing was I was afraid that this song would not go have a part behind.
I don't write songs.
I write hooks.
Now I give that to the Wallace Sound guy with the funny hair.
He's dead or murdered.
I give it to his son then.
Phil Spectre.
Phil Spectre's son, Jimmy.
Love on the Spectre.
And they can do it.
What is this package we got in the mail today?
What is this?
Don't show the address.
Oh, you did.
Okay, I'll clear that out.
Yeah, friends got to turn around.
And see?
Like, why did that?
Anyway.
All right, let's jump over to Rittenhouse now.
Yeah, friends got to turn around.
Because we still don't have an answer.
You're right.
You and I have a bet, right?
Correct.
If it's nothing, I wipe out your $400 late fees.
If it's something, you have a big, tall, refreshing glass of whiskey before the live show.
Half a pint.
Whoa.
I don't.
I said half a glass.
When I'm saying a glass, I'm not talking about a shot glass.
You mean a half of a glass?
A pint glass.
Oh, my God.
What did you think it was going to be?
Like a half of a Rock's glass or a Collins glass.
That's not that different.
Maybe it is.
It's a big difference.
What did Maddie say last night?
12 years?
Yeah, he thought maybe it gets 12 to 20.
I would go on the lamb.
I don't think you can, unless you get a suspended sentence.
Well, a suspended sentence, I would just be a very good boy.
All right.
I saw a cool pick.
I tried to make this my phone screensaver, but it's got bad dimensions.
At some point, you'll have to stop running and take a stand, either you, your children, or your grandchildren, better you than them.
Oh, I mentioned this on Anthony's show.
Just on the off chance you haven't seen this, Gage at the beginning of this whole trial on some shitty fucking chair.
You know what I heard recently that everyone he shot was Jewish?
Huh?
Gage is German, I think, but could be a German Jew.
There he is.
I like how he gains his composure and then he goes back for another one because he just sees the top of his head.
He hasn't recovered yet.
How long does it take to recover from a broken chair?
Just down again.
Are you caught under something?
You need the jaws of life to pry you out?
So the...
I hate that people can't laugh.
Still going.
Did you knock yourself unconscious?
See, they didn't want to laugh because then it looks, it could come up late in the court.
Weren't you laughing at the...
Yeah, did they do that on purpose?
Because, like, who falls that way?
This woman was freaking me out.
So she's outside the courthouse right now being the wiggeriest wigger that has ever wigged a wig.
Like, and she's from Arizona, I believe.
Or Arkansas?
Yeah, Arkansas.
Look at the way she talks.
It's disturbing.
Period.
Ain't no in-between with this shit.
Ain't no in-between with this shit.
Ain't no in-between with this shit.
Her only reference of black people is Cat Williams?
Y'all ever fuckers ever turn around and do Black Lives Matter?
I don't think so.
Biggers need to stop borrowing money.
Motherfuckers never pay a nigga back, never.
Did you ever see a nigga pay a motherfucker back once in your life?
Bitch, you up there with a motherfucking megaphone and a bunch Of bullshit, don't go telling me you got shit to say with your Black Lives Matter.
Bitch, get my money and get the fuck out of here.
Motherfucker needs to go now.
You out here talking about playing pale and neck and lady to trial, baby.
Bring that bitch.
Yeah, bring that bitch to my neck in the motherfucking woods.
Little rock.
Bring that motherfucking peckerwood to Little Rock, holy, and see what happens.
Bring that bitch to the neck.
You can get me to people.
Did you see that?
You bring you your Peckerwoods, which is what they call white dudes in prison.
Bring your Peckerwoods to Little Rock.
You see what happens.
I'll latch you up.
She's doing the holding up your pants thing, but she has skin-tight pants on.
Ain't no holding that up.
They've been hold up.
Where's your dad?
Black guys hold their pants up like because it's a bigger thing.
Did she make that jacket?
Or do you buy those?
It looks made.
Yeah, I think it's with the sticks.
I think I just saw someone else with one in red.
Overall.
Period.
And then I realized, I didn't know this, but there's a massive wiggery scene in Arkansas.
Oh, look what Cat Williams did to my do.
Yeah.
I gotta find me motherfuckers all.
Damn, I hit a slide from my way, this motherfucker.
You couldn't do it.
That ain't no bullshit.
That ain't no bullshit.
We got into it because we found unity in ourselves.
And it came through the gang.
Gang's the only one that taught us love.
I mean, our family didn't teach us love shit like that.
And so we found love and we found unity in the gang.
So we stuck with that.
That's our family.
This is my family here.
Used to be my homie.
Used to be my ace.
Now I want to slap the taste back.
How quiet do they get when a black guy comes up?
He's like, hey, what y'all doing?
Lots of niggas fucking in.
Lots of naz.
He started singing your song.
He didn't turn around.
Lots of niggas fucking.
Lots of niggas got to know it.
My friends got to turn around.
Fancy.
What the hell that they're doing to me?
Yo, what was you singing before that, though?
Ain't no thing with a chicken wing.
It was the first part.
Isn't it weird how the only black person there is totally covered up with a super disguise?
Right.
He's trying to pretend he's white.
Otherwise, he'd be like, hey, wait, he never seen you with your mask off.
Yo, man, you are sunburnt.
This winner.
I went on a field trip.
Okay, last one.
This is the African-American reaction to Rittenhouse and what's going down.
He thinks I'm going to kill him.
The odds are approximately 100% that if you're killed, it'll be by a black dude.
But yeah, be wary of me.
Arbitrary figure in the sky you believe in, whatever, that Kyle Rittenhouse goes to jail.
Think about it.
When you listen to a lot of like the shit that the right says on like forums, message boards, behind closed doors, it is very clear that they have like murder fantasies and that they have.
You're talking about 13-year-olds, by the way, sir.
If you get your worldview from comments on the internet, you realize that you're talking to 12-year-olds, right?
If they say, I want to kill a nigga, it's a 13-year-old white kid like we just saw.
It's not a guy going, I want to kill a Negro.
I'm going to be there on Thursday.
We need to get the militia together so we can go hunt them.
How can you not tell the difference between those two things?
In which a left-wing person will give them the means or the excuse to kill them.
I could have seen the video that circled around of the guy asking Charlie Kirk, when do we get to kill people when we get to use the guns?
Like, Kyle Rittenhouse is going to inspire a shit ton of conservatives and just general white supremacists to open fire on peaceful protesters and just kill people of color because of white genocide.
Like, I'm legit scared, y'all.
I'm legit scared.
He's whiter than her.
Yeah, I'm legit scared.
I am legit scared, actually.
I'm legit scared, y'all.
This is the impression of a white guy that Cat Williams does, so that's interesting.
Boy, Cat Williams has really influenced the written house activist community.
Okay, just to change totally different direction, a baby monster set in this thing.
Do I take this?
Oh, no, I have the mic for the green screen.
Baby Monster sent in my least favorite person in the world, common, analyzing KRS-1 lyrics.
And I only saw a bit of it, and I thought, this needs to be a green screen.
We need to analyze their pathetic analysis.
Yep, we do need to.
Are you okay?
What's going on?
We're good.
I had a stutter.
You didn't know where the green screen was in the notes.
That's correct.
Okay, we're doing it live.
Fuck it.
We'll do it live.
I'm walking over to the green screen now, Ryan.
Are you ready?
You got the song and everything?
The song will be.
So you didn't have it ready?
It will be.
What did they say?
Playing, I said?
Yes.
The word playing.
Good.
Cute song.
I bet those girls are cute too.
Richard Breyer.
He went to Africa, and that was, he said, I'm not going to use the N-word anymore.
Because it hurts people.
Okay.
Whatever.
I wonder if it was the cocaine that ultimately fucked him.
What are you doing, Ryan?
Okay.
So this is KRS-1.
Interesting guy.
He has one of my favorite quotes.
He said, the ones screaming, keep it real the loudest are the ones the most full of shit.
Very true.
He was also behind the stop the violence movement of the late 90s, where he had all the top rappers.
This is back in Queen Latifah days where people were into Africa and they had African stuff around their neck and stuff.
They don't seem that impressed with Africa these days.
Maybe the news showed them that they fuck babies to cure AIDS and chop up albinos because their blood's magic and smash in the heads of bald people because they think they have gold in their heads.
So I think that lost, the information age lost of Africa a lot of allure.
But anyway, he was still like, even Chuck D, who blew up my head as a watermelon, melon, the singer from Public Enemy, he won't shut up about how oppressed he is, and it was the white man.
He even said Flava Flav's ridiculous sitcom career was actually the white man making Flava Flav into a Sambo character on sitcoms so Public Enemy would look bad and no one would listen to their lyrics anymore.
He believed it was all this big white Machiavellian scheme.
So even a pussy like Chuck D back in these days was like, we got to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.
And you're like, wow, that sounds so unusual in this day and age to hear culpability from the black community.
But, you know, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Karas1 is a free market philosopher and he went, I know who's killing blacks.
It's blacks.
Let's address this.
That, of course, is gone now.
Not done anymore.
They prefer just to blame you and me.
But anyway, so this is KRS1, a very talented rap guy.
And Common, an absolute boob, whose entire brand is I'm a genius.
Okay.
Let me see.
Imagine Common and Christopher Hitchens having a debate.
I mean, it already happened with Eddie Gloud.
Okay, sorry.
So let's start the video.
This is not the first time I came to the planet.
But every time I come, only a few can understand it.
I came as ISIS.
My words, they tried to ban it.
I came as Moses.
They couldn't follow my commandments.
Okay, stop.
I came as Sa.
So this is a very simple concept.
He's saying he is like Jesus, but the character is clearly goodness and truth.
And God has sent us messages many times, and we tend to ignore them.
We don't listen.
Although a lot of fucking people listen to Jesus.
That was a smash hit, I would say, as far as listening goes.
Moses, too.
I mean, didn't he invent Judaism?
That's a lot of successful guys there.
In fact, Jesus was, what, 2,000 years ago, and we're still talking about him on a daily basis.
So that was a smash hit, dude.
Anyway, you get the concept, though, right?
He's going through history, being different stalwarts, different messiahs, and he's saying man hasn't learned as much as he could from these great people.
Good structure for a poem, for a rap.
You get a B plus.
Good work.
I came as Harriet Tubman.
I put the truth to Sojourna.
Other topics.
I came as Harriet Tubman.
I put the truth to Sojourna.
I had to look this up, but apparently, Sojourna Truth, or Truth Sojona, no.
I don't know.
Sojona Truth, I think, was another abolitionist who helped Harriet Tubman with the Underground Railroad, helped sneak slaves out.
She was a very prominent abolitionist.
She was an ally of Harriet Tubman.
So what do you mean you took the truth to Sojourna?
That makes no sense.
That's like I helped Ryan float down the Rivera.
You didn't bring the truth to Sojourna.
So now you're just cramming words together with no actual point.
If Sojourna Truth was her adversary and she won a court case against her, well, now your line makes sense, but that's not what it is at all.
So shitty line.
To come as Nat Turner.
They tried to burn me, lynch me, and starve me.
So I had to come back as Marcus Garvey, Bob Marley.
They tried to harm me.
I used to be Malcolm X. Now I'm on the planet as the one called KRS.
Wow, you really went down a notch.
You're at your least impressive dude.
I was the guy who did the bridge.
I was Jesus Moses.
Now he was homeless for most of his life.
Now I'm a homeless rapper with the biggest nose in America.
Do not let that guy do any of your Coke.
It will vanish.
Now I look like a well-rested Tirana Burke.
You're like, you hand him the straw to do Coke.
Do you want to do any?
He's like, nah, I usually use a pylon.
Have you got any traffic cones here?
Fuck, dude.
That was three eight balls.
Okay, now we analyze.
This is not the first time I came to the planet.
But every time I call, only a few people.
He took it, man.
Don't nobody do this.
Don't nobody do this.
So we're not getting a lot of solid critique from these guys quite yet.
Like this, man.
I came as Moses.
KRS gets to your mind with that mental stuff, but he be styling with it.
Did you catch that?
Yeah, he gets to stop.
This is common the genius.
So he says that he does all that mental stuff.
What?
But then he be styling.
But then he also be styling.
So you get all this heavy information, but he also has great style.
Mental stuff.
Press get to your mind with that mental stuff, but he be styling with it.
Let me sit over here and say like Marcus Garvey, Bob Marley.
Yeah?
They tried to harm me.
I just like he make you think, dang, like, I am like Moses.
I am like Isis.
I'm all these people like connected with that.
But he's speaking some spirituality and knowledge and you want to hear it.
Wait, stop.
He's talking to the spirituality and the knowledge and you want to hear it.
Like I liked his point at the beginning where he says we have a kinship with all these different leaders throughout history.
Yes, gotcha.
Now where are you going with it?
It's just mental stuff, man.
And then you hear it and you like it.
What?
Did Karis one hold them hostage and he's holding a gun?
He gets better.
Wait till you see who makes a cameo.
Now that's another thing.
Look, you can look at Chris when he says this Nat Turner and it's like, hey, man, at times I was coming, you know, in peace and I was being, you know, this for, you know, as far as nailed to the cross.
But then there's on this part where he say he come back as Nat Turner.
But the look he give is like, if you know the story of the history of Nat Turner, you know when Nat Turner came, he was kicking up dust.
And then I like the way he looked like, yeah, you know what the fuck I mean by coming back as Nat Turner.
So Nat Turner led a slave rebellion That was, I guess, more successful than Harry Tubman's.
I have to translate for you.
So, Harry Tubman did a pretty good job, but you needed someone hardcore like Nat Turner.
Okay.
We got that, by the way.
You're just explaining what KRS1 explained to us.
Where's your new fucking song?
I mean, your new angle.
What if I said all the time?
What the fuck is this?
You have KRS-1 on screen.
We analyze his lyrics, do a terrible job, and then when a guy makes a Nat Turner point, who makes a cameo?
KRS-1.
Here to critique his own video, his own song, and talk about how great he is.
The fuck is this shit?
Come as Nat Turner.
That's a different signal that I sent.
But other times I had to come as Nat Turner.
You know.
That's it right there.
Like, come on, man.
Can't beat that type of stuff.
When you're styling like that, and...
That's it right there.
That's, come on, man.
You can't beat that kind of stuff.
He's Biden.
We can make common shirts.
And saying something.
That was KRS.
That type of stuff.
When you styling like that and saying something.
That was KRS right there.
That was hip-hop.
The object of MCN doesn't just come from the mouth.
My hat is talking.
My hair is talking or communicating.
My hands are big communicators.
I can say one word and do a certain hand gesture and you like, yo, what was that?
I am stupider for having seen that.
Nothing they said was of any consequence.
The words they put together were a big pile of alphabet soup.
They took actually what was a good little rap and just eviscerated to shit until I never want to ever hear anything from any of those people ever again.
Especially common.
All right, I think it's time to jump over to the mailbag.
What do you think?
Agreed.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn this right to get.
Let me touch it.
Touch it.
Right when he says that, my computer says touch ID.
Isn't that fun?
Let me touch the computer so it unlocks.
Like Nat Turn.
This is from Zach.
Sure, you've seen clips of the Tim cast with all those stars.
I was just thinking this kind of neutral playing ground would be a good way to circumvent Joe's Spotify restrictions concerning Gavin's appearances.
Do you think you could work your way into something like that through your relationship with Alex?
Do what?
Meet Joe Rogan in an RV?
I think it's really important to get Joe in on these conversations because it exposes normies to the truth.
Everything he does becomes a meme, including this Timcast.
I see it as a great loophole to gain ground in the culture wars.
Shut up, child.
You're fucking tips.
Zach's got some tips.
He's sitting at home with his laptop on his stomach and a pillow behind his head listening to pavement.
And he's coming up with great ideas on how me and Joe Rogan can red pill the normies.
Like, where do you get off?
Where do you get the gall to come up with this?
I think you should get together with a lot of other conservatives, new right types, and do a song like Sun City, you know, with Bruce Brinks and maybe get some musicians in it like Ariel Pink and do like a song for charity called Don't They Know It's America.
Thanks.
By the way, I didn't have time to watch that whole thing.
Did you watch it?
Did we talk about it already?
I watched most of it.
Yeah, we did talk about it, but we didn't get too deep into it.
Do you have any highlights?
He leaves after like an hour.
No, the big funny thing is that Alex keeps like kind of interrupting, and then they're all just, they're all like, like, Alex.
And he's like, all right, no, no, go ahead, go ahead.
And then he's like leading Joe into things.
He's like, Joe, Joe, tell him about the, because you're leaving soon.
Why don't you tell him about the blah, blah, blah.
He's like, I just told him, man.
It's all right.
It's all right.
He's just amped.
Did Joe Rogan talk like this?
And have black nail polish?
And hunched over?
I could escort him.
Eating out of one of his signature bags of nuts that he always has.
Here's Iver Mecton.
And here's...
I'm Joe Rogan.
Here's a horse dewormer.
Dunk.
Play a clip if there's a funny one.
Of the Tim Cast.
Now, it's really hard to get like a clippity clip.
Fuck chatting.
Here's the key.
If I was Tim and I was lucky enough to get all those guests in one room, shut up.
He did.
Alex Jones, Drew Hernandez.
I heard, I saw one very brief clip where Joe Rogan was talking about how the COVID thing has become a cult and no one can disparage anyone in the cult or anything that the cult supports or they're canceled.
And then the long-haired dude, who I don't know, the kind of curly-haired guy, he goes.
Ian.
He goes, sounds like religion.
Dude.
Dude, can you just go outside?
That's a funny moment where he's like, oh, man, Joe, you know, we should do ayahuasca together.
He's like, dude, I'm not doing fucking shit with you, man.
I don't know who the fuck you are.
Wait, Ian suggested?
Yeah.
He's like, oh, oh, man, we should do ayahuasca together for sure.
Because they're talking about like DMT.
That's like meeting Gene Simmons and going, hey, man, thanks for coming by the show.
If you ever want to go camping, my family and I would love to have you there.
You could bring your base.
I'm not going fucking camping with you.
I don't fucking know you, dude.
So that was very funny.
And then also, this is a highlight.
They show this graphic and you are now here.
True, scary show.
I haven't done his show in a long time.
I hope we're still pals.
Watched heightened tensions on Poland-Belarus border as migrants attempt to force down border offense.
Didn't we already watch this?
This better be good.
Better not be the thing we already watched.
Okay, it's more of the same thing.
Shoot them all.
What is that?
Click the playroom, please.
It's the greatest drop in all the world.
I thought I was going to use it for war on kids.
This seems more appropriate.
Wow.
Bolt cutters.
Like, blast them.
Why aren't they being blasted?
Where's the wata canens?
Look, that guy's got tough eyes.
There are certain people that bear spraying does not work on them.
Wow.
You spray it right in their face, and they're like, thanks.
I mean, all you got to do is just pop two or three.
There seem to be soldiers on the same side as them.
Looks like it.
Literally.
95%.
You've done the blowjob thing before.
Thank you for updating us.
Is this Joey Diaz?
Am I high or is this Joey Diaz?
That is absolutely Joey Diaz.
He has never been seen in the same room as Anna Farragila, the assistant prosecutor of Cuyahoga County.
Oh, fuck.
My brother sent me this picture the other day.
He's like, I'm so glad I got out of Toronto.
The dating scene there is fucking grim.
But.
Wait.
When you're out there and you're prosecuting, you gotta prosecute things like murder and death.
Cock sucker.
Sorry, this isn't very good.
Fuck, I'll find another time.
It's just like, I'm a First Nations Indigenous person and I deal with stress control.
And I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who's 40 and younger and doesn't have kids and has his job, has long hair and is an artist.
Maybe he emailed it to me, actually.
Hold on, now I have to see it.
Well, we're waiting.
It's women's confidence.
It's out of control.
Women are so confident now that they're doing shit like saying, oh my God, I am so much hotter than Kyle Rittenhouse's mom.
Or they're going on dating sites thinking there's a hope in hell that they're going to get anyone.
A fucking woman boss.
Fuck, now I have to find it.
And I can't.
I cannot.
Never happened in the States.
Never happened in the States.
Never happened in the States.
Never.
Oh, I lost it.
Whoa.
Never happened in the States.
Interesting.
Oh, shit.
Okay, sorry.
We'll stop.
Well, in the meantime.
I checked everything.
Right?
There's a new season of my show, Target King.
It's out right now.
New season?
You're in jail.
Yeah, that's a new season.
There's footage of me talking to people outside of the jail.
Wait, now you're Scottish?
And there's fucking Carol Beskins.
She's running around.
And there's a team of Target King.
Why do you keep drifting into Michael Kane?
I like his movies.
It does sound like Michael Kane.
Tiger Kane.
Yeah.
Okay, I sent it to you.
I finally found it.
Her name is Kathy Song Dae Kwei.
I'm a single indigenous mother of three awesome autistic boys.
Not interested.
Community herbalist, people's advocate, and street medic.
This is empty message.
F ⁇ me.
Really?
Yeah.
Forward.
Save two images.
This is not a very exciting television, folks.
I apologize, but I promise it'll be worth it.
We get to do this again.
Well, we're waiting.
That's exactly how I feel.
I feel like Rodney Dangerfield.
Anyway, in Tiger King, they actually give credit to show clips of Jim and Sam because that's the way that Donald Trump learned about my presidential pardon.
I asked him to, you know, pardon me.
And Jim and Sam brought it up to Donald Trump Jr.
Oh, so Jim and Sam are in the show.
They're in it, yeah.
And so is, I do sound like Market Kind.
So is OJ.
He says, in my opinion, Don, her missing husband, he's Shashimi right now.
Target Shashimi.
Okay.
OJ, if anyone knows about murdering your spouse, it's OJ.
Right.
I don't give, like, you know what his charges were?
It's like killing tigers?
I don't fucking care.
Nobody cares.
I had a big steak last night.
I never killed tigers.
So you raised tigers from babies, and then when they got too big, you took them out back and shot them.
If they got sick.
Go nuts.
One time, a nail was growing outside of the ankle, and it was really painful, so we had to put him down.
Now you're Australian?
Put him down.
That's enough.
I don't like this Tiger King.
I am in school full-time for clinical herbalism, and I'm looking to fall in love with myself.
This is not a joke.
Kathy, you sound great.
If you ever want a platonic friend, I'm a mom of two autistic boys.
I'm working on becoming a wellness coach, and I am an aesthetician.
I love helping folks with self-care and wellness, especially those with limited support.
So she's out there looking for a man to love, and she's getting more women.
Kathy responds, coolio.
I used to be an Aesthetician.
Did you find it yet?
Fuckhead?
No, it's empty.
No, I sent it again.
I think Idiot.
I used to be an aesthetician right now.
What pays the bills is I am a grief supporter for the frontline harm reduction workers.
What the patrol work is funded mostly out of pocket and very grassroots-based, but after I graduate, I'm hoping to make that more my full-time gig again.
Garbage.
Human garbage.
And this is in Parkdale.
Is there a Parkdale dating thread?
I'm not liking what's popping up on Tinder, to be honest.
I guess I'll start.
This is a woman.
I just turned 40.
Socialist, possibly communist.
Single, no kids, currently on social assistant, and recently stayed at CAMH.
My dog died almost a year ago, and I still talk about it 24-7.
Looking for a good-looking guy with long hair who plays music, but has a stable, well-paying job.
Who wants in?
No Zionists, please.
Prefer 42 or younger, ideally.
What a nightmare it must be to date in Toronto.
Yuck.
All right, sorry.
That was a lot better in my head.
Next letter is over here.
You ready, Ryan?
Yay.
Compound censored, can you guys make Wednesday's episode of Compound Censored available for download?
Do we not do that?
It is now.
It is now.
Ryan Katsu Rivera's net worth.
So you click on that.
It's got a nice picture of you at my desk.
Oh, yeah, I remember this.
And your net worth is $11,000.
Negative.
Oh, negative, right?
That's negative.
Wait, did someone make this as a joke?
That's correct.
Huh.
That's funny.
Have you seen this before?
Yes.
It's very funny.
Ryan catch Rivera, blah, blah, blah.
Rivera is currently working as a producer while also chiming in sometimes with funny remarks that most of the times bomb, but sometimes is sort of funny-ish.
His trademark brand, Nope Yup, combined with his fresh out-of-bed look, is a distinct feature of Ryan.
He does graphical designs.
What?
This person is trying to make fun of you and they can't speak English.
Graphical designs?
Common wrote this.
He does all the mental shit, but then he's styling too.
Gift subscriptions.
Hello, Gavin and Ryan with holidays quickly approaching.
Is there any possibility of you adding gift subscriptions?
Yes, we are almost done.
That thing.
It was a very glitchy thing to do.
We ran into a lot of trouble because it's like a one-time credit card thing and credit card processing is complex, but I think we got it.
Gavin Ryge, your app sucks fucking dick.
Get Kumi on the phone and hire whoever designed, program, launch, Compounds app, stop being a cheap Scottish fuck.
A very mean letter, don't you think, Ryan?
I disavow what he said, and I disagree with it as well.
Yeah, that doesn't build community, sir.
My question is about this line, the final video song.
His daddy ran away when he found out he was gay.
It's unclear if it means Ryan is gay, which is the inferred meaning.
Or is his dad, or if his dad ran away when he realized he was a gay man.
Interesting.
No, the intent of the song is to imply that Ryan's father left him because Ryan is a gay.
I don't know about that.
When you why don't you stand up and show everyone at home your pants?
Okay, I don't know what this has to do with it.
You know who wears those kind of pants?
The gays.
Yeah, gay.
Even your shoes are what are your stupid little spats?
What are those?
Jordan Elizabeth.
Oh, March crying.
Wow, that was real.
I can't remember last time I saw a real Pratt fall that wasn't on a security cam.
Didn't Kyle Rittenhouse hide it?
Yeah.
It should have gone like that.
And all in perfect Ryan Rivera Blura vision.
All right, let's go to the final video.
All right, give me a second.
Okay, Al.
They're Jordan 11 space jams, by the way.
Concorde.
Oh, I'm wearing Jordan 11 care jams.
As we learn from that letter, the English language can be confusing.
Pronouns confuse us.
He, what's the he in that case?
You're supposed to repeat the name if there's any possibility that you might get it wrong.
But now these people want to complicate it more.
His daddy ran away.
No, their daddy ran away when they found out they was gay.
Hard.
You're taking an already confusing language that has things like 15 and 50 and legal and illegal.
And you're throwing in Z and demigogue and fuck.
All right.
This video, I've watched it 647 times.
We're only going to watch it 300 times.
And the question we're throwing out to you, the viewer, is what is with this guy's fucking face?
What is happening here?
He looks like he has that Asian mask on.
This looks like a Halloween video.
See anything?
No, not at all.
I'm on the phone with the 90 minutes.
Oh my God!
No!
No!
What the f?
Oh my god!
Who the f were they?
What the fuck are you?
It looks like he's wearing a guy fox mask.
Yeah, it is weird.
What is going on?
All I can think is either he was part of it and he told him, look, yeah, man, she got tons of money in there.
I don't be coming back.
When you see me come in, that you motherfuckers roll and then you rob her and shit.
Wait till she opened the dodo.
Although, wait, if he was in on it, he'd say, oh, wait, she got a big motherfucking pit bull.
That's going to be an issue.
Right.
So I don't think he was in on it.
So that leaves my number two theory, which is he's just so unbelievably stoned that he's not even on earth.
I'm on the phone with the Magnum Rangers.
Oh, my God.
No!
Look, because there he seems to be going in with them.
He's not present.
Is he watching this?
He's an NPC.
He's a non-playable character.
What are you doing in this world?
You know that you're on Earth, right?
You're there.
Look at him.
Look at his face.
I think he's slow.
Oh, he's special?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
That's a lot less funny.
But he's also in on it.
He's a useful idiot.
Like, they like, so you just give us a...
We're not going to hurt you.
We're not going to hurt anybody.
We're just going to go in there.
He looks like a samurai puppet.
Yeah, yeah, puppet.
I'm seeing puppet.
Like, the puppeteer that's manipulating him is one of the best in the world.
He's like 94 years old, and he's been doing this.
He teaches at Puppet College in Horoshuto, Japan.
Literally, there's a special.
He's a top puppeteer.
There's a puppet that he looks just like.
It's a cranky anchor's puppet.
Almost like this guy.
But I'm talking about marionettes.
He's got the vibe of the top.
Like, look up top Japanese puppeteer.
Okay.
And I bet we'll see, like.
Hello?
Oh, hi.
Yeah, we can be there on Friday.
I'm very much looking forward to it.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
It'd be funny if someone yells in the audience, oh, we can see you.
Yeah, that takes me out of it.
Yeah, put on a black thing on your face.
How does he move the legs?
Oh, maybe someone else is doing the legs.
Okay, now go back to the video.
And let's watch our Japanese puppet.
Oh, I go up against the wall.
His hand even has like the can grip an item hand.
And it stays like that.
The G.I. Joe hand.
Hands up.
And I get out of the way.
I move forward.
No, and then they're getting out.
And then I walk backwards and up against the wall.
Hands up.
Oh, my God.
Who the f ⁇ were they?
They were my puppet friends.
I'm going to get my f ⁇ gone.
All right, folks.
That's it.
We'll bank some shows for Thanksgiving.
Keep you amused.
We want to keep you full.
But that means no compound censored on Wednesday.
No live show Thursday.
Just a bunch of letters and flannel shirts.
Just a bunch of letters and flannel shirts.
That's get off my laundry and thanksgiving.
I took an edible last night, but I was drunk because we did the show.
So I was like, fuck it, man.
I just took a giant one, like a gummy.
I woke up at three in the morning, I think because my son came in to the bed.
And I opened my eyes and I was like, I'm fucking baked.
And then this morning, I was supposed to spar with Shug.
And I was like, dude, I cannot fight you today.
Like riding a motorcycle sounds petrifying.
Getting into a ring and getting punched in the head when you can't really, you don't even have a good depth of field.
Like I felt like I woke up underwater.
I still feel pretty stoked.
You were black Asian marionette high.
Yeah.
If you could have robbed me and I would have went, I don't know.
What?
Oh, the dog's barking.
He's not even scared of the dog.
No.
Oh, there's a dog.
He's just waiting for the events to be over.
It's like those two rednecks I met who were in Mogadishu and they were so, I don't like this word, but dumb, that they had zero PTSD from being in Somalia.
And they're like, dude, it was fucking crazy, man.
We were in these tanks.
People were trying to kill us.
We go, we got to get the fuck out of here, man.
We're shooting at them.
They're shooting back at us.
It was fucking crazy, man.
I'm going back.
Wait, what are you doing?
Bam!
Whoa!
Yes!
That is fucking...
That feels so good.
Not to win, but that...
Oh, that's so good.
38 seconds ago updated.
Yes!
Yes!
Fucking yes!
We have to high-five.
We do.
That is fucking good.
That feels great.
Wow.
Damn.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Fucking amazing.
Is this triple quadruple verified?
I was getting Breaking.
Live feed of the court verdict being read.
I'm gathering these people.
Now it's not guilty of all charges in Kenosha.
And of course, the first topic is white privilege.
Yeah, he really had it easy.
Oh, my God.
Okay, so go riot, bitches.
I hope you get arrested.
And we'll keep on fighting to the end.
We are the champions.
We are the champions.
Future time for losers.
Cause we are the champions of the world.
He did his time.
Wow.
Good for him, dude.
What a fucking relief that there is still some justice somewhere in America.
He could have been looking at 20 years.
Yeah.
You could have been $400.
He could have been looking at half a glass of whiskey.
Forget him.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
I wonder if I can get footage of it being read.
Do we want that?
Yeah.
That's cool.
Now I see why Maddie was calling me.
Dude, we just were shooting the show right now, and we just saw it happen.
Oh, yeah.
I was watching it live myself.
Unbelievable, man.
Thank, literally, thank God.
Yeah, there's still hope.
Because if he got anything, then the message that the justice system was sending to all Americans is there's no such thing as self-defense.
We can randomly choose anyone we want to suffer.
Right.
Now, the sad part is, is that Antifa, BLM, and all the lefties have their Christmas lists in their pockets already.
So they're probably going to go out riot and loot so they get all their Christmas presents.
Yeah, well, the only hope for that is strong national guards.
Didn't they say they had the National Guard there already?
Law enforcement were on standby.
Good.
Minimize and mitigate the destruction and damage that.
I hope it's nothing.
Alright, bye, Fancy Words.
You got it.
Mitigate.
Jeez, look at him.
He put a quarter in you.
See, I like how he's styling, but he also hits you with the mental stuff.
He's got a lot of mental stuff.
I like this judge.
A lot of mental stuff, but a lot of style.
He reads Cookie Magazine.
I'm going to get a drink.
You have to have one, too.
Okay.
Very small drink.
Just enough to be.
As soon as he does start to get somebody might have been on the right hand side.
As you can see, there's quite a bit of law enforcement here.
And you will be whisked out of here if there is any.
So just be aware.
Lord knows how many times I've done that.
Only the Lord knows.
Oh, I think here we go.
Recklessly endangering safety.
As to the third count of the information, unknown male, we the jury find the defendant Kyle H. Rittenhouse not guilty.
As to the fourth count of the information, Anthony Huber, we the jury find the defendant Kyle H. Rittenhouse not guilty.
As to the fifth count of the information, Gage Gross Court, we the jury find the defendant Kyle H. Rittenhouse not guilty.
Members of the jury, do that your unanimous verdicts?
Is there anyone who does not agree with the verdicts as read?
I disagree.
Would you wish the jury poll?
Okay.
Okay, folks, your job is done.
We've been 20 years.
We started just about three weeks ago.
And I told you it could last two weeks and two days.
This is three weeks.
You were a wonderful jury to work with.
You were punctual.
You were attentive.
The forgotten six over here, who had a very difficult job of keeping from discussing the case during the time that they were sequestered as well, all of you, I couldn't have asked for a better jury to work with.
And it has truly been my pleasure.
I second that, Your Honor.
I think without commenting on the verdicts themselves, just in terms of your attempt at the cooperation that you gave to us justifies the confidence that the founders of our country place.
So you're never under any obligation to discuss any aspect of this case with anyone.
You're welcome to do so as little or as much as you want.
A number of media sources have requested the ability to talk to you and allowed presentations to you that you'll get in writing.
And it's entirely up to you whether you want to contact you.
If anyone does contact you and just tell them you're not interested in discussing it, if that's the case.
And if anyone persists in doing so, report that to us and it will be addressed, I assure you.
At the beginning of the trial, there was some concern about information and your safety.
And I assure you that we will take every measure to ensure that that is...
What are you going to do?
Go kill him?
He's fucking ready.
Fucking ready, fuck.
We should go get Kyle Rittenhouse tonight.
Who's in?
I can't go.
I don't have a bicep.
He already vaporized one of my...
Oh, here.
Where's JoJo?
Can JoJo come?
Oh, he got JoJo last time.
Fuck.
He was able to say one final thing about the quote-unquote victims.
If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
That's what he said to the prosecution.
Like, you're allowed to say one thing.
Do you have anything to say to the prosecuting attorneys, Kyle?
Yeah, I got one thing to say.
Fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
You know, he's legally allowed to say that.
You know, that's freedom of speech.
We got to somehow, like, green screen binger getting that and just being like, f ⁇ the hell?
Objection, kind of?
Well, what a great way to start the weekend.
Thank you, Rittenhouse jury.
Thanks, God.
Thanks, God, for making this the best weekend ever.
There is hope.
Virginia, we talked about the red wave and it didn't seem real.
We also lost that night and sometimes you wonder, are we winning?
What's going on?
This is a major win for America, for the West, for free speech, for the Second Amendment, for a good old-fashioned America.
And when we say make America great again, we're not talking about this fucking 1800s.
We're talking about the 80s, Alex P. Keaton, wraparound shades, ski jets, pink shirts, and fucking freedom.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
It's like me that you'd say the same.
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