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Oct. 26, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:26:49
S04E47 - RING MY BELL
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Time Text
Singing me a song always doing me wrong.
Doing me wrong.
That sounded a little sexist.
Get up and make me a sandwich, Mabel.
These lazy women always doing me wrong.
I don't think my wife's ever made me a sandwich once in my life.
You know, when I was married, my aunt came up to my wife, which was like crossing enemy lines.
She should be talking to me.
And she said, don't make him breakfast.
She said, you make your husband breakfast once and it's expected for the rest of your life.
Kind of true.
Another piece of great advice for newly married couples, if you can, don't share a bathroom.
Try to get separate bathrooms.
My bathroom's in the basement, my gold dust bathroom.
Had some fucking arrogant millennial, because I was asking for a gold dust poster yesterday, say, I found this in like 30 seconds.
Are you an idiot?
So many of our letters are like that.
Meanwhile, the poster that he's talking about is about this big.
It's a calendar page, my friend.
It's not a poster.
A poster is the kind of thing that's in your room.
And so it's Black Sabbath.
This is where we cash in our Sam Roberts knowing him thing.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Oh, maybe he can get us one?
Oh, my God, of course.
I don't know about that, dude.
You can definitely go to...
Well, personally, I go to wwwpors.com.
Yeah, I've been all over the web.
That thing is tiny.
But it is perfect.
That's exactly what I'm looking for.
That is awesome.
They broke up, unfortunately.
That is sad.
I was reading about it.
I'd never follow Wrestling, but after getting a Gold Bathroom, I looked into Goldust and learned a lot about her, his manager, that he had a high-falutin relationship with.
Yeah, so that was Doug Powell.
Not to be confused with Doug Powell my age, who's making pop music.
God, don't you love this suit?
You know what you can't?
You can't see is that it's corduroy.
We can kind of see it.
Called De Roi.
And I've had this for 25 years, so it's all floppy.
You can relax.
You must be so jealous right now.
I am.
I mean, I'm also wearing a bomb ass suit.
What do you got your Brooks Brothers thing?
Let's see your suit.
Where do you see my Nita Fashions beige corduroy suit that's coming in the mail in a few couple weeks, maybe six weeks?
Let me see your pants.
You're always such a hodgepodge.
You're like, welcome back, Cotter.
You look like the top salesman at Knights of Columbus.
Wait, they sell stuff at Knights of Columbus?
Yeah, they sell insurance.
It's the largest insurance company in the world.
I was going to open with Baby Monster.
I got some bad news, BMs, bowel movements.
There's a K-pop band coming over the horizon called Baby Monster.
And they have billions of views.
And it's possible that in a month, when you say you're a baby monster, they'll go, oh yeah, I love them too.
Great band.
I think you're a little close to the spit guard there, honey.
Your nose is moving it.
This music could be written by AI.
It's even worse than yours.
Is AI riding the music that's coming out of Korea?
We don't know.
Looking into it further, the Japanese are right on their coattails with J-Pop.
When will this fiesta end?
Paul, I'm happy to get you on the show.
I was just on your website, Summit.news.
Fantastic site.
Thank you.
I noticed just to jump ahead to COVID.
I noticed in 2.9, just after 2.7 there, speaking of PJW, this is good.
You were talking about that New Zealand woman who was doing what Biden did, which is, so you want everyone to be vaxxed?
It's a mandate.
And they get glib and they smirk and they go, yeah.
That's what I want.
That's what I want, bitches.
No, not that one.
The next one.
That was also on your.
There you are.
Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern.
There's my hat.
It's almost like, you probably don't see like this, the two different classes of people.
If you're vaccinated or if you're unvaccinated, you have all these rights.
If you are vaccinated, it is what it is.
So, yep.
Yep.
Under the new system, when cases rise, the unvaccinated.
That was creepy, though, Paul.
You're right.
Despicable.
She likes it.
Yep.
She reminds me of Merkel and AOC.
A lot of these women that are in politics, you can tell they're just there for the power and they actually want you to hate them.
They want to be Cruella Devil.
See, the Avi Yamini.
I bet she's gay.
She has gay face.
Yeah, she got a little gay face.
Let's look her up.
She's like a skeleton gay.
Skeleton Gay.
That's one of my favorite British poets.
What's her name again?
His name's Skeleton Gay.
Oh, no, her.
What's her name?
Australian Prime Minister.
That might be the name of today's show.
Hello.
I am Skeleton Gay.
My first.
Like, I don't know, those Gaylord guys that are called Gaylord.
What is this Biach's name?
Just go back to the link.
I'm sure it's in the write-up.
Not that we should know who the.
No.
No.
Just go New Zealand PM fucking.
Oh, New Zealand, okay.
She was Australia.
No.
Did you see what happened with Avi Yamini?
The fight?
No.
I mean, it was like a pushing fight.
His bodyguard really, really stepped in and made me want to bodyguard.
Abby can handle himself.
Absolutely.
But no, she's pregnant here.
That could just be Guinness.
Imagine?
Yeah, she just loves a good pint after work.
She looks really skeletal.
Wow, those chompers look like they could tear through steel.
She's got like a chimp's mouth.
I agree.
Wait, what's that with the burger?
What's going on there?
She Muslim?
Jacinda Adern.
Uh-oh.
That's her name?
Uh-oh.
Why do they always have to look somber when they wear those, too?
Like, they're in the middle of the middle.
They're probably itchy.
Yeah, that's true.
So Google Wikipedia her.
Is she Muslim?
Let me see.
Pakistan.
Zinzabad.
Pakistan.
Zinzabad.
Ala Akbir.
Alright, I want to get back to the news.
I want to talk to our gimpy friend again, Crip Daddy.
He turned me on to this video.
Religion.
Oh, she's a convert.
I bet she's a convert.
Those are the worst.
After the Christchurch mosque shooting, she became Muslim because it was higher currency.
No, it should be in the top.
They have their religion in the top with their like all their names and everything.
No, no.
To the right, shithead.
You ever been to Wikipedia outside of your job before?
Clark Gaylord?
That's funny that I was talking about Skeleton Gay.
So we don't know what religion she is?
Just go is blah, blah, blah, Muslim.
Sorry, folks, this is a bit of a chunky start.
It's like a Model T Ford here.
We got to wind it up.
Not to my knowledge, this says.
Okay.
Because what kind of name is Jacinda Arden?
Sounds very non-white, buddy.
Of course, she is white.
Depends on the day of the week.
Biological father is Pakistani origin, Bhutto, whichever is Muslim.
Unmarried had a baby.
Oh.
Weird.
Unmarried and had a baby could be lesbian, so.
Really?
See, I'm back.
I'm back.
Wow.
Does not smoke, drinks alcohol, unknown.
Okay, this woman, it's in a Crip Daddy tweet where she's talking about trans community, and it's a Chappelle thing, of course.
All Chappelle all the time.
But she's talking about how we need some decency in this country, the way we talk about trans.
And then this is juxtaposed with all the horrible things she says on her own time, which is like, this Asian nigga showing up here ain't doing shit for me now, motherfucker.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, that shows you.
I sent it to you.
I hope.
Like, while we were starting the show.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Every time I say I sent it to you, look at the most recent things I've sent to you.
Yeah, there we go.
Ashley Marie Preston is a dude.
I'm Ashley Marie Preston, and I'm the organizer for the Stand-Up and Solidarity Rally.
And my entire career, everything that I've done has been about pushing boundaries.
It has been about holding people accountable.
Just cuss that Asian bitch clean the fuck up.
We expect more.
You mess up my order and then blame me.
English is my first language, bitch.
I know it's a lot to ask in California, but speak fucking English.
We don't support social equity into these spaces.
I love Ashley Murray Preston.
Wait, wait, just what did he say?
I just broke my phone on this Asian bitch's head.
Just broke my phone on this Asian bitch's head.
On this Asian bitch's head.
Dave Chappelle doesn't get to suck all of the light out of that.
And so the thing that I feel most trouble biased.
Latino and Asian businesses need to stop being rude and fucking disrespectful.
They don't have the same equity.
This Asian nicotine subway god of fat ass.
They don't have the same opportunity.
He almost looks like a bitch from behind.
Hashtag.
Shaking my head.
We will no longer stay silent.
head and make you think that you're a fuckboy so he can fuck you yeah it's it's not a thing that dudes say like you're a slut dude right you're a fucking whoor you probably sleep with any dude To understand intersectionality and what it means.
I have Asian friends, but they some motherfucking weirdo sometimes.
Hashtag.
I said it, but we all think it.
Obviously, uh, Ashley Murray Presson is a great advocate.
Furry slipper wearing ass fuckboy.
Keep pretending for the internet.
Dick Ryder.
Ashley Murray Presson has proven herself as an activist, also a friend, and a loved one to many people in her embarkment on activism.
So thank you so much.
These motherfuckers.
Faggot cocksuckers.
Fat Mexican piss blonde miss piggy looking bitch.
I love strippers.
Not in like a gay way.
I love gay men, but this county clerk at Window G is a motherfucking faggot.
Thank you so much for the transparency.
That is the last time I helped that faggot fucker.
So for those of us who are standing in solidarity with the trans employees, another damn Asian almost hit me while crossing.
What the fuck is with y'all and damn vehicles?
Hashtag racist ass.
I don't do Mexicanation or Samoan.
You need to have difficult and complex conversations.
You should be ashamed if you take abortion pills like Flintstone vitamins.
Oh, that was kind of right-wing.
Yeah.
Can you get Crip Daddy?
I can certainly give it a try.
Give him a heads up.
DM him in Skype.
Ashley Marie Preston is a perfect example of black privilege.
I think I know why.
I think I know why.
Taneshi Coates accuses us, white people.
When I say us, I mean me, I guess.
And maybe some of you.
Maybe a smattering of you.
He says that we walk around like we own the place and it's all for thee and not for me.
We're hypocrites and we have no boundaries.
And then we have this fat black man in drag saying racist shit on a regular basis throughout the years and then telling and joking.
I mean, he was trying to, those tweets were to be funny.
He wasn't like literally threatening Asian people.
I felt threatened.
Okay.
Well, it was funny.
And yeah, and then you give Dave Chappelle shit because you don't like the quality of his jokes.
And I think I know why.
So I want to talk to Crip Daddy about that.
Oh, here he is.
Hello?
Oh, you got to put on your fancy thing.
Here's your fancy thing.
Are you talking to me?
So you're saying it like...
No, don't throw it in there.
You're saying it like.
It's my fault.
It's my bad.
It always is.
Let's turn this on.
And I think I know why.
And I think I know why.
Grip Daddy, are you there?
Oh, yeah, I can hear you.
We were just watching that Ashley Marie Preston thing, and I think it's a great example of black privilege.
Yeah, you think so?
I mean, imagine Chappelle made the jokes that she was making in her Twitter feed about this Asian bitch, and I'm about to break my phone on this Asian cunt's head.
It was all good shit.
I laughed harder at that than I think at Dave Chappelle's special, if I'm being honest.
Maybe that's what the protest was.
She was saying, this nigga ain't even funny.
Check out my recent tweets.
I got way better shits than him.
And the thing is, funnier than any late night, like talk show host I've seen in forever.
So I'm a fan.
Yeah, I want to see her on that RuPaul drag challenge.
Oh, that would be so fucking good.
I'd finally want something gay.
Which, by the way, did you know that that show now includes women?
What the fuck?
Since when?
I think it started with the British version, but now women get up there and dress in drag.
And you're like, so you're a woman dressed up as a woman?
That's like a dude, a male black man in blackface.
I like that.
We need more of that.
I think if black people embraced blackface, it would become more normalized and things would be better.
Yeah, and you wouldn't, would you be able to tell?
Take someone who's already very exaggerated with the features.
Yeah, like imagine Wesley snipes in blackface.
There's just no point.
That would be fantastic.
How are you doing?
I'm living the dream.
I'm doing great.
Now, it takes you a sec to get ready, right?
What happens?
Your mom has to pick you up out of bed and put you in that chair?
I got to do my morning routines where, like, I get my nurse to give me my morning hand jobs.
You got to get that out the way real quick.
Oh, yeah, you got to clean the pipes.
Yeah.
Take a piss, take a shit, you know, some medical stuff.
But I'm fine.
I'm doing good.
Well, you white people walk around like you own the place.
And Taneshi Coates woke me up to it.
I think it's because you've experienced nothing but privilege in your life.
That's true.
I can tell you for a fact that I've lived the most privileged life I've ever seen.
And I do it with pride.
And I think it's time that you recognize that privilege, and we should be able to go through years of your emails, texts, phone calls, private conversations, and see if we can find an N-word to pillory you with.
Oh, yeah.
No, you'll find it.
And I'm not hiding it.
I own it with all of my heart.
My white, hateful heart.
Well, I'm announcing here on this show today that we are officially beginning the cancellization, the cancellation of CripDaddy.
I'm here for it, and I fully support it.
I want to disenvow all hate that I could have spread because I know deep down I could have been spreading so much more and I should have been.
Cut him off, Ryan.
Too late.
You're done.
Goodbye.
Canceled, sir.
Cancelled.
Hang up, Brian.
In other news, spooky is banned in Scotland because it's offensive.
Is that because of the word spook?
But spook is like a 50s racial term.
Also, you can't shine your shoes anymore.
You can gloss your shoes, but shine is racist.
I can't tell what's a joke anymore.
That's correct.
Yeah, spook is...
Well, obviously it's died.
Words die of old age.
So spook is dead.
But if we're going to go back through the, digging through the crates and find some old spook LPs, I would argue you'd find as many, or at least in the modern American head, you think of spook as a Fed, a federal informant, an FBI guy,
as much as you'd think of it as a racial epithet.
Right?
And if it's a black FBI guy, I mean, that's a twofer.
I think you're a spook, you fucking spook.
Here's the tweet thing.
Whatever.
National Theater Scotland has banned this word synonymous with Halloween after it was flagged as a racist slur.
The word spooky has been dropped by the major arts organization if it was discovered that it was used as a derogatory term during World War II.
Is it possible this is because of us?
I mean, who else plays a Scotsman saying spooky?
Literally, actually.
On a regular basis.
I'm waiting for you to pull it up.
And because Proud Boy started going like this, they said it's a white power symbol.
So is it possible that just because my show has a spooky drop in it, they've decided it means racist?
Soon they won't be able to use toilet paper.
It's the gav drop rule.
Spook him.
Although, I do agree that.
What just happened to my brain?
Oh, no.
It broke.
Spooky.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to say I don't really enjoy toilet paper.
That's why I go to biffy.com.
Free sponsor.
What's happening there?
That was cool.
That's fun.
I'm trying to get your face.
It's difficult.
Okay.
Oh, wait, there we go.
Oh, fuck.
You just disappear into a void.
It doesn't work.
Yeah, you can't fuck with the devil.
You can't fuck with the...
Whoa.
I'm Satan.
Damn.
This just in Gavin McInnes admits he's Satan.
Or as Joe Biden goes, he's like, as we Catholics say, oh, my God.
So he takes the Lord's name in vain by calling himself a Catholic.
Actually, let's jump over to some last-minute MyPet Bidens.
I know it's weird to do, but I think I sent them to you separately, my man.
All right.
Because I don't have a MyPet Biden section.
Biden.
On him I can defend.
My Pet.
Biden.
A monster of the president.
He's big and food.
Sleepy.
But a friendly monster too.
My pet.
Biden.
Wait, what?
That doesn't rhyme.
So was it just the one video I sent you later?
Was it two?
I'm seeing the un.
I think it was just one.
All right.
This is a challenge.
Novo.
I speak perfect Biden.
I'm a linguist.
French, English.
With French, I would argue it's maybe even two languages because I speak France French and Quebecois, which is an ancient version of France French.
English, sort of Scottish.
That's kind of a different language.
I know I'm stretching them out here, but I'm proud to say I speak Biden.
Did you know?
One of my buddies who has a restaurant, he speaks a bit of Mexican.
He's got a Hispanic last name.
He's not great at it.
But this kid from Guatemala couldn't understand him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They have him very formal form of Spanish.
No, fuckface, Detective Shitty.
Please show the Detective Shitty thing.
Okay, but I don't agree because it's true.
Yeah, that's even shittier of you.
That's double shitty.
There's a lot of doubles today.
Come on, Detective.
So, there's Ink...
I want to say Aztecian, but it's not that.
It's like Inca language, Incanian.
And it's fucking clicks.
It's the original Aboriginals who live in the mountains of Guatemala.
They don't, they're pre-Spanish.
This is the Aztec Inca language.
And it's half cliques.
No one could understand this guy.
He doesn't speak a lick of English, no Spanish.
And the only way that anyone could understand him is he brought in other weight staff that were also from Guatemala and they'd spent some time in the mountains.
And they're like, oh, yeah, I know that one.
Watch this.
Hey, are you...
And he's like, oh, shit.
Isn't that fucking nuts?
How did you get here?
How did you get here from Guatemala?
Is this just the DNC flying in ABOs from all over the fucking world?
Put your spear down.
Pick up a rag.
Go wash dishes and vote for me.
Crazy.
So I'm going to flex my muscles here and show you my amazing Biden skills and we'll see what.
You know, very excited today because we have to be visiting like an actual.
Today we're visiting the ancient Mayan town of Facebook.
Very excited because I've actually secretly spent the past week and a half studying the ancient Mayan language and today we are going to be introducing ourselves to the future.
You're a nerd.
Get lost.
I hope they eat you.
I want to hear their clicks.
Jump way ahead.
You know what it is?
This is the Mayan one?
Maybe the Incan one.
Were those squeaks part of their stupid language, or was that some dolphin in the background?
Dolphins speak fluent Mexican Spanish, so it's hard.
All right, anyway, you get the idea.
There's weirdos about.
All right, see if you can do this.
I can.
No volumo expression, time is money.
Got it.
As one computer said, if you're on the train and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
No volumo expression, time is money.
You never think it's over because you're like, there's got to be something that ties it into reality.
And like he's going to go, that was a silly saying that was in old nursery rhymes.
And it makes no sense, but people still say it.
In other words, is the thing that the dragon said in Lord of the Rings.
It was a palindrome.
This is the direct translation of ink in Spanish, but when we decode.
Which obviously makes no sense when I recite it.
Now, the proper sentence would be, no, no, that's not it.
No mobile expression.
Time is money.
No one has a problem with that, right?
We're all.
The one computer said, if you're on the train and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
By the way, Joe, it's and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
Not you better make other plans.
Plans was on the next line, you see, as they scroll.
So that's why his sentences stop and start again in the middle, because the teleprompter has text this big.
Because he doesn't want to wear glasses.
Well, do you want to try it?
You want to take a swing at it?
I'm ready.
I've tried.
No, I can't.
It's impossible.
Okay.
That's my answer, default.
You give up.
I give up.
The biggest part of this mystery is he misread the word commuter.
He said computer.
He said computer.
He cannot read.
He is the, what's his name?
A Floyd Mayweather of presidents.
But without the fighting.
Yeah, he misread the word commuter.
Portal Bridge is that bridge that you pass when you're going to Newark Airport in Jersey, right?
It goes over some fucking little waterway in New Jersey near New York here on our way down south.
Near Secaucus, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, if we're going to D.C. or something, we go past this bridge, and it sucks, and there's always a problem with it.
They've since demolished it, I believe.
Or they begun demolishing it?
I remember a couple years ago, they were taking sledgehammers to it, knocking her down.
Anyway, so if you're on a commute and the train ride includes the Portal Bridge, you're probably going to be late and you're probably going to miss the dinner or whatever you were headed for.
You better make other plans.
All right, let's get back to the beginning of the show.
Babylon Bee now has a column in the New York Post, which I brought today.
And they can just shine, shine, diamond, shine.
Which includes this fun progressive guide they did, one four, where they break down the alphabet, the Babylon Be guide to wokeness.
This is a fun little link to have.
Our brave new progressive world from A to Woke.
Subhead, byline, I mean, the Babylon B. Let's go through some of these.
Keep going.
Ally, a straight white male who kills himself.
Abolitionism, the noble movement to remove all police protection from urban communities and replace it with unarmed, anti-racist, interpretive dancers.
By the way, speaking of that, that brings me to my other PJW, which is the one right after 9-7, where John Oliver is saying, I hear that policemen are calling in sick.
Good.
Fuck them.
Quit your job.
I did that a little Australian, but.
Donald Trump?
That's way better.
Wait, go to the top there.
John Oliver attacks cops resisting vaccine mandate.
If an officer wants to quit, fucking let them.
So brave.
Look at that guy.
He's been a pussy his entire life.
He's been the beta male wedgie nerd since he was a baby.
He got bullied in the NICU.
And here he is telling New York City cops, the country's bravest, I'd argue, that he doesn't fucking need them around.
He'll handle his own business in his gated little courtyard in Manhattan, Midtown, which is where he lives.
I tracked him down once.
I can't remember why.
He was talking about how weak everyone is and how tough he is.
And then I looked him up and saw that his only place for his kids to play is a little fenced in courtyard.
Go down.
Let's hear his rationale.
I'm going to start tonight with this.
In police departments nationwide, a crush of vaccine mandates are a flashpoint for officers faced with rolling up their sleeves or losing their jobs.
In Leesburg, Virginia, some officers say they may quit if the vaccine mandate moves forward.
Massachusetts, the State Police Union believes at least 150 state police officers will resign.
One trooper who decided to quit had some choice words for the governor on the way out.
This is the last time you'll be at him on State Patrol Co.
And Jansley can kiss my ass.
Ooh, a walkie drop.
You don't see many of those, and that's probably because it looks pathetic.
Dropping a microphone is inherently exciting.
You get these buttons that it hits the floor and the cheer of the crowd, but a walkie drop.
It's a walkie drop.
Is that like dropping tobacco?
But it is true, all over the country, a small minority of police officers have received disproportionate coverage after threatening to resign over COVID mandates.
They framed this as a matter of individual liberty, even in cases where very little was being asked of them.
In Chicago, officers were merely asked to register their vaccination status on a portal, and for now, can still work if they're unvaccinated, So long as they are regularly tested.
But nevertheless, John Katanzara, the head of Chicago's Fraternal Order of Police, told his officers flat out: do not comply with any direct order to fill out the portal, period.
Since the start of the city, because that portal, that database is used against you and your career in the future, it affects promotions.
You're on their shit list is what that portal is, but you wouldn't know that.
Can't these guys all have to do one ride-along with every police force they criticize?
Imagine John Oliver in the south side of Chicago at 1 a.m., cowering in the back seat.
Hey, you can come out if you want.
You want to come with this arrest?
No, no, I'll stay in.
I hope he has to call the cops soon, and they say no.
This despite being among the first groups to have access to the vaccine.
Yeah, it's true.
Four times more police officers die from COVID than gunfire.
That is a terrible statistic, which you might not fully absorb, given that CNN's graphics department represented it with one bar that's only about twice as big as the other.
So, welcome to CNN.
If you want to instantly understand the different ways that police die, it's going to be tricky for you.
But if you want to understand the one way that a certain British royal died, it's your lucky day, 9pm Eastern Sunday night.
So, no need to watch.
Spoiler alert.
It was the mother-in-law.
Annoying, isn't he?
Say it to my face.
You're fucking annoying.
All right.
You're everything we hate, actually.
You're a beta male, you're a cuck, you're a bullshit artist, and you're an immigrant.
I don't think I am.
In fact, if we look at Gavin McInnes' Twitter, oh wait, it doesn't exist.
Yeah, because I got censored.
I got canceled.
I look like Eugene Levy.
Okay.
So that progressive guide's a fun thing to pass around.
And lastly, in my fun intro, cute bits of news.
I never heard of this chick before, but she's making some waves.
Kim Iverson.
My type.
This is 1.5.
And she's talking about her YouTube videos are getting shut down.
She's got that Lauren Chen half Chinese thing going, which I don't like.
It seems weak to love Asian women.
So I just pretend she's a swarthy Italian.
And upload it all, and it's a very long time.
Wait, go back a bit.
So this is what she's doing.
YouTube, and I just love the cannibalism of the left.
Right now, the left is furious with Netflix, right?
With Dave Chappelle, they call it hate flick.
And they're mad at Facebook.
Facebook allows Nazis.
What?
They ban everyone at one pube of center.
But they're fascists to you.
Why?
Because someone wrote something anti-Semitic and it was up for an hour on a comment, on a picture.
That doesn't count more on your arguing with 13-year-olds.
And Netflix, everything about Netflix is woke.
Even redneck documentaries like Leonard Skynyrd have to throw in that they hate the Confederate flag and they hate guns.
So the fact that you hate Netflix is perfect.
You know why?
Because you're shifting the Overton window.
Thank you for that.
Just like Michelle Wolfe saying, I love my abortions and doing an abortion dance and the moderates going, you know what?
We're going to go a little more pro-life.
The pendulum is swinging too far in the baby murder direction.
So good.
Keep bitching about Netflix.
Keep bitching about Amazon.
And this woman, I don't think, is a liberal.
She's bitching about YouTube.
And I would have given up on YouTube a long time ago.
I did.
Before they killed me, my past like five videos were, I'm getting killed soon.
Say goodbye.
This ain't going to last.
The end is nigh.
But what she's doing to stay alive is deleting all her old videos because YouTube will change the rules and then go back in time and persecute you for breaking the rules which didn't exist at the time, which is clown world in a nutshell,
right?
What are we doing with these statues?
We're pulling them down for violating some sort of anti-historical law.
How dare they be pro-slavery?
But I'm not.
I just didn't want this North pushing us around.
Too bad.
Wait, I'm an abolitionist.
Too bad.
You're gone.
I rewrite history.
I go back in time now.
Same with the rapes.
Someone had a bad day.
Two years later, I was raped.
What?
Why didn't you call the police that night?
Oh, I didn't realize it till like night right now.
But now I can go in a time machine, go back in time and enforce my new opinions and the new culture we're in, and then enforce that on the past and ridicule them, destroy them, cancel them for being old-fashioned.
Yes, you heard me correctly.
We are going back in time and telling people from hundreds of years ago that they were old-fashioned and not up with the latest.
Spooky is not acceptable anymore.
Anyway, sorry.
So she is going back through her videos and deleting them to avoid getting shut down.
Maybe it'll be three months worth of content at a time.
I'm not really certain yet.
I haven't decided yet, but I do know that I will be removing all of my old content off of the platform, keeping it on another platform.
So I'm in the process of that project because I've got to catalog it and upload it all.
And it's a very long process, you can imagine.
But once that's finished, I will be deleting all the videos off of YouTube that are beyond a certain date.
So that is what's going to be happening.
Check her out.
She's very interesting.
And where can you see all of my content?
She doesn't read from a teleprompter, which is nice.
All right, let's dip into some trans.
Wait a minute.
Have we already done this?
Oh, yeah.
We don't have to do.
Well, maybe make the background trans.
Last I'll mention on Chappelle that they're doing a documentary on him that they're shutting down now.
Now that he's turned out to be a transphobe.
Which I would say is the worst thing you can be in 2021.
Worse than a pedophile.
Worse than a racist.
Transphobe is probably the worst as far as mass hysteria goes.
Don't you think?
Oh, yeah, it's pretty bad.
David Shapelle's documentary being pulled by distributors amid controversy.
I am not bending to anybody's demands.
And then last thing, well, this is kind of the war on kids and trans combined.
That Loudon dad, where they said, he's lying.
This never happened.
Turns out it did happen.
We've got proof now.
So he's vindicated.
He's not vindicated with us, though.
And then our buddy Mark Randazza, Mr. Free Speech Lawyer, says, so sorry, just to skip ahead there, Ateen testified she met a classmate for consensual sex in the girls' bathroom of a Loudoun County High School before.
But in a May encounter, she was sexually assaulted.
So they said this guy was a domestic terrorist, the dad.
We were disappointed in him for just going through MAMBY-PAMBY paperwork after his daughter's anally and facially raped.
And he's like, well, I'm filing a complaint.
Okay, I'm not sure why you're not turning into Charles Bronson like the rest of us would.
And then the left's new angle, now that they realize they can't just pretend this didn't happen, is that the girl was a whore.
And the funny thing I find about this is all this leftist shit where they accuse us of crazy shit like, raped because she was wearing a short skirt.
And I'm allowed to wear high heels.
And just because I get dressed up doesn't mean you can rape me.
Right?
Remember all that shit?
And we would go, what is this, the 50s?
We never said you deserve to get raped if you wear short shorts.
What are you talking about?
That may have happened in the 50s before I was born, but not now.
And then here we have the left doing exactly that.
Because she's allegedly had consensual sex, and we don't know what that means in this context.
Could have been just making out, in the bathroom before, she deserves to get raped in the ass and in the face by some fucking weirdo who's in a dress.
Click on the Justin tweet.
Teen testified she met a classmate.
Yeah.
Washington Post.
Who's this Justin juvenile guy?
Is he on their side?
Yeah.
He's the justice reporter.
You know the press is nonsense.
I'm not talking about Justin.
That's what they live for, to be mentioned by Donald Trump once.
All right.
Let's change the pace dramatically.
Oh, wait.
Sorry, let's do one last thing.
I'll get this Morose story out of the way, then we can cheer up with the green screen.
I was reading about this story that I almost couldn't read about.
And this would be War on Kids backdrop now.
There's no Gaynus involved.
But you heard about these three kids who were left with their dead brother for a year?
This is 2-4, Ryan.
And I'm just reading this story, which I have a lot of trouble reading stories about children under duress.
Houston House of Horror's mom lived 50 minutes away and would occasionally bring food to her kids, aged 7, 10, and 15, who were left alone with brother's corpse for a year.
Teen texted mother to say he couldn't take it anymore before calling 911.
The three siblings and skeletal remains were asked to do a welfare check.
15-year-old boy called 911.
His nine-year-old brother had been dead for a year.
Oh my God.
Children were living in deplorable conditions.
They'd likely been left abandoned for several months.
Why don't they just leave?
Why didn't the 15-year-old leave?
Children's mother and a boyfriend were located interviewed by cops before being released.
Sheriff's spokesperson, they were released.
Sheriff's spokesperson said in an email to dailymail.com the charges are pending.
Why does Mercedes go straight to jail and has to wait there for a trial?
Same with Joe Biggs, Ethan Nordine.
All our friends, our MAGA friends, are in prison awaiting trial for trespassing and a fake rape story.
Yet this woman can probably starve a child to death and then leave him rotting.
Isn't it like, that's a crime in and of itself.
It's called like, I can't remember, disrespecting a corpse or something.
Desecrating a corpse.
Connecting all the dots, it seems that they were in there while the body was deteriorating.
Next door neighbor said she first noticed a foul odor coming from the sibling's apartment a year ago and repeatedly complained about it.
See, this is what I don't like.
This is the lack of community.
And smash the patriarchy, all that stuff, right?
The family's evil.
Smash the community.
Let's import a bunch of Somalians into your apartment building.
Next thing you know, we all keep to ourselves.
Next thing you know, there's no sense of community.
Who suffers from that?
I don't.
I just get on my motorcycle, go to the bar.
Women and children suffer from that.
Old ladies suffer from that.
Lack of community, lack of caring in the community hurts the weak.
And so there was this sentence in there that really killed me.
It was, the neighbor in the apartments complex had complained for months about a foul odor emitting from the unit where the shocking discovery was made.
The smell was so bad that she would be forced to turn off her air conditioning to prevent it from entering her apartment through the vents.
The neighbor said she complained several times about the smell.
Like, I hate all this.
Complained several times.
This goes back to the Loudon dude.
I don't care.
Why are you complaining?
Go over there.
Hello, you kids okay?
Oh my God, what is this smell?
Kids, kids, come out here.
Come out here.
Here, stay at my apartment.
Call the cops.
Get them somewhere safe.
Don't tell.
When the mother calls, says, what's going on?
Say, nothing, lady.
We're fine.
Where did you take my children?
They're okay.
Now you're risking going to jail for kidnapping, especially if the children are nuts and they say, no, we liked being in that room.
That's the risk you take to save children's lives.
Why is everyone just keeping to themselves about a fucking rotting cadaver?
Jeez, oh.
She had to turn off her AC.
That's the woman.
Wait a minute.
Eric Chapman said she'd been feeding...
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, that's not the woman.
Talk about fucking trash.
All right, I had to get that bummer out before.
But yeah.
Just like the take before with that dad power is, don't you guys have jobs?
The take for this isn't just some crazy bitch was abusing her kids and we complained and they didn't do anything.
No, you didn't do anything.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
You the neighbors.
A year?
Check on your neighbors, folks.
All right, let's cut to a green screen.
You ready?
Thought we'd have some fun.
We always enjoy some ridiculosity, right?
And I thought we would do a little segment on people getting hit in the face for the first time.
Now, the first segment of this is called Pussy Pass Revoked, where women are getting punched in the face for their first time.
There's a couple that didn't make the cuts here.
We all remember that Antifa chick spitting on a cop.
And he just grabs her and pulls her in where she gets arrested and you feel good inside.
That was amazing, and that was her first getting called on her bullshit.
But she didn't get punched.
There's a certain thing about the punch where you see them go, what the fuck was that?
I mean, I get it even in sparring at 51 years old.
My 300th punch, I still go, whoa.
Sometimes I'll even say to the coach, I just got my bell rocked.
My bell rung.
Sorry.
My shit rocked.
Hoping they'll sort of go like, time out.
They never do.
They say, just take it.
Actually, one time my coach goes, you know, the other day, I was getting my ass beat so bad in this alleyway.
I didn't give a shit, by the way.
See, that's what you got to learn.
You got to learn to just take punches and not give a shit.
Just shrug them off.
You get too upset.
Just ignore them.
It's like bugs on your legs or something.
You just got to get used to it.
And then he tells me the story about getting the shit beaten out of him in an alleyway where his eyes are sealed shut.
And then they wouldn't let him go to another club.
And I was like, how did you get in the funny?
He goes, I don't know.
I was fucking wasted.
Wait a minute.
So you're telling me that I need to not care so much about getting hit in the head.
And your example of that is you not caring when you were blackout, drunk, out of your mind.
We could have cut your fingers off and you wouldn't have given a shit.
Not the best example.
You know what my dick told me last night?
It's these Oedipus, man.
The lies are just relentless.
I live with Ratzo Rizzo between my legs.
He goes, hey, she's touching herself.
And I was like, really?
Well, I can do way better than her finger.
I have a penis.
So then I sort of slide over to the bed, and I definitely feel like vibrations.
So then I'm like, I want to make it clear.
Maybe she doesn't want to wake me up that I'm awake.
I'm eligible.
So I kind of like slide my leg down near her lower regions, expecting to feel like...
No, it's just my wasted head vibrating.
She was dead as a doornail, fast asleep like a log.
I was, I don't know what you call it, not hallucinating, but I was body hallucinating this, like shaking beans.
I'm walking here.
And every single time I confront my dick after one of his cockamamie, excuse the pun, ideas doesn't pan out, he always has the same reaction.
He's always eating a cheeseburger and he always goes, oh no, thought she was.
Fucking guy.
He's got some balls.
I was like, maybe she had a Tom Hardy dream.
I could be Tom Hardy.
I'll just shrink two inches.
Anyway, this is a woman.
This is called Pussy Pass Revoked because she gets not her first punch, but her first bonk, and her boyfriend gets his first punch.
Perfect reaction.
That's got to be Iceland or something, right?
He's like a Syrian refugee.
And that guy's never been...
He's some Netherlands dude who's never been punched.
Look at his saggy jeans.
But yeah, you don't want to...
There you go.
Look at that.
He has to hold on to someone else.
His world is rocked.
By the way, dude, I know your world's rocked, and it's good that you got punched in the face, but you should be mad at your chick.
She's the one who started that whole thing by gobbing on a random Syrian.
And you don't want to punch someone in the face, but a bonk with an umbrella, that seems like a pretty good solution to spit, don't you think?
You need to do something.
Oh, here's a guy in a restaurant.
He's mad about masks, of course, causing a scene.
And someone just goes, fuck this.
They're not calling 911.
They're taking care of this as it happens live.
They are stopping it in its tracks.
No one has to worry about it.
Everything is now fixed.
I have to be very careful because I can't be accused of advocating violence on the show.
But here is someone getting their ass kicked for the first time in their life, and they're going to be a lot less self-righteous, you notice.
So it's this guy, the bald guy, who's about to get rocked.
But you're not.
You know what?
Go fuck yourself.
No, no, no, no, no.
You go fuck yourself.
Look at this.
See that surgical gloves on?
Yeah.
You want to see what happens when you discriminate?
We're going to fuck your restaurant up.
You will just leave it.
I see it.
You go fuck you.
You want to do something?
I don't want to do anything.
Don't do music.
Don't get music.
And then someone comes up.
No, Ryan, no, no, don't do music because you got to see his reaction.
He goes, that's assault.
You know what that's assault is?
It's Chinese for, that was the first time I've ever been punched in the face.
Look, he doesn't even know what to do.
Get out, bro.
Get out, bro.
That's assault.
That's your fault.
He can't wait to get the fuck out of there.
That's assault.
Anyway, I'm gone.
He led him right towards the door anywhere.
Here's an oldie, but a goodie.
You've seen this one a million times.
You could actually call all of these pussy pass revoked.
But this guy, look, if someone has good stance and they're getting low and they're moving their center of gravity around, they're changing their levels, as we say at the gym, you're fighting a boxer.
And being good at it, if you will.
So, unless you box or do some sort of contact sport, you're going to get punched.
But this dude, the white dude, has this attitude where he's got this face, like, this is what we're doing now?
I have to kick your ass.
I don't think that's a good attitude.
Unless you've knocked out 12 people in your life, you've knocked out zero.
This is your first fight outside of downstairs with your brothers.
Let's see how well it works out for you.
Swing on that nigga!
Bitch ass niggas, what the fuck y'all gonna do?
Look.
Look, even with the pinky up.
I bet you won't hit him.
I bet you won't hit him.
Hey, y'all some bitch ass niggas.
Come on, hit him.
Come on, what is that?
See, he's got a good stance.
Boom.
And watch this one.
And whack.
Left hook.
But look, his cool face is what gets frozen.
Like, you call that a knockout?
Big deal.
Big deal.
I just hope this card goes in reverse.
Okay, now let's do some genuine pussy pass denied.
You can see a lot of great fights on crazy shit.com, but I don't recommend it because it's also full of over-the-top disgusting porn.
It's for like depraved incels.
21.
This is women who have never been in a fight, but have watched a lot of videos, and they do the same thing every time.
They go, what?
What's up, bitch?
The fuck you're going to do, bitch?
And then they'll slap a giant guy.
Now, this guy obviously does security.
If he doesn't do it at this particular establishment, he does it somewhere.
And he's keeping everyone calm.
The guy in front of the green dude is the one doing all like, get the fuck out, get out.
You're not welcome in here.
And the drunk girls, is there anything worse than drunk girls?
The drunk girls want to kick some ass.
How many times have we seen this?
I didn't like the girl.
Oh, you don't even know my mom.
What are you talking about, my mom?
And I obviously don't think you should ever hit a woman, but when a woman hits a man, sometimes he just goes into muscle memory.
And you accidentally will punch back.
You get fight or flight.
You just go boom, bang.
Which is what happens here.
I'm not going to be out.
Man, I've just got to like you shoot, man.
Hey, hey, mind the balls.
Mind the balls.
Here it is.
Fuck you, little cup.
Hey!
This is me.
No, that was not, man.
That was not on.
That was not on.
No, the guy in the green just fucked over some girl.
So she kicks him, he pushed her back, then she punches him.
He's fucking fast and furious.
Can you go back?
So that's what I meant about muscle memory.
Bang, boom.
It's one second.
He gets it, and then he returns it without even thinking.
Was that glass pre-broken?
It does appear to have some cracks, yeah.
Holy shit.
And then their outrage.
What the fuck?
You just hit a woman.
What are you doing?
And here's some black pussy passes revoked.
This woman shoves a guy's face.
This particular clip actually inspired this entire green screen segment.
Ryan, this backdrop looks like a used cigarette wall.
It just reminds me of the teacher's lounge in the 70s.
Why did you choose such a gross cigarette stained color?
See, isn't that nicer?
It's so much more professional.
His bitch ass.
If your girls be like, yeah, my brother is slapping the kid.
So what's your name?
I just want to know if I'm intimidating your baby.
I'm just saying.
So Mike, why are you able to go smacking me at noise for me?
Was her hair up?
And then it was down?
She knocked her ponytails off.
I'm just saying.
So Mike, why are you too able to go smacking me at noise for me?
Yeah, I did.
He undid her hair.
He undid her hair.
Holy shit.
How long it takes her to do that hair too?
Shame.
Well, the wig comes with it done up like that.
And then here's the last one.
Another black chick has her pussy pass revoked on the train.
I don't advocate for this, but it is funny to watch.
Like, where do they get this attitude?
Don't touch me, bitch.
I'm taking my pen.
Did he say, don't ask me for a pen?
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me, bitch.
Don't touch me, bitch.
Don't ask me for a pen?
Maybe don't ask me.
Yeah, that doesn't make sense.
Excuse me, nigga.
You got a pen?
Don't ask me for a pen.
What, bitch?
You think you can't give me a motherfucking pen?
Jesus Christ.
What a country you live in.
All right, that's enough.
Ring my bell.
You can be my bell.
Ring my bell.
Licky, licky, licky when the dick gets sticky.
Excuse me?
What?
That's not in the song at all.
I like to licky licky when the dick gets sticky.
Oh, my.
I've done that.
And women don't like that.
Turns out.
No.
They think it's horrendous.
I think the word horrendous is horrendous.
It's almost worse than atrocious.
Did you see this though?
Because we mentioned it before.
Oh, yeah.
The Avi Yamini.
Let's see.
Oh, cool.
That's not cool.
That's not cool.
It looks like a swirling thing because someone's internet has not worked out.
Are those Let's Go Brandon shirts we have?
Is there a large and a medium?
I think it's...
I have an extra match.
I want to wear it Thursday night.
This is cool, Ryan.
Thank you for contributing to the show.
This is a fight, isn't it?
Okay.
Here we go.
A lot of language here, so be careful.
Listen, I hate you.
Don't touch me, man.
Fuck up!
Cut to the juice.
Why are you so close to me?
There's social distancing.
What did you just call her?
What did you just call her?
What did you call her?
Why did you call her?
Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
Get back.
What are you going to fucking do?
I won't touch you, Wayne.
I'm standing in a public pocket.
What's with his hair?
He's a bald guy with green and purple cloth dreads.
He's a predator.
Get your fuck out of my space, you fucking piece of shit.
Let's just enjoy the night.
You fucking punk.
Leska, look at you.
Leska.
You fucking happy?
This is what you say that's a good thing to do.
Look at you.
I'm gonna pick on the girl.
I can pick whoever I want, you fucking piece of shit.
Look at me.
You like to pick fights.
What if you come here?
I'm interviewing this approach.
What are you doing here?
What am I doing about fucking having dinner here?
You're fucking screaming at me, mate.
Do anyone want to talk to you at all?
Does anyone want to talk to you at all?
Does anyone want to talk at all?
Fuck up!
Stand up!
Yes!
That's the best one.
Stand back.
Fucking hit me again.
Stand back me again, you fucking cast me.
Standard!
Which was all these accents?
I don't know.
I think he was like a German guy or something like that.
He was speaking German at you like you knew it.
Yeah, he's a weird bloke.
And then he starts yelling at the girl.
And I'm like, get out of here.
Fucking weird eye.
Get out of here.
Get out of here, you fucking weird eye.
You're coming in my pussy, are you fucking gessl?
So is that bodyguard getting charged or some bullshit?
I think so.
So it's all on tape.
Up close as possible.com to help cover Daniel's fees because without him by my side, unfortunately.
No, I don't think it's legal fees, so I think he gets away with that because there's also a video that the other guy touched him first.
Yeah, plenty of that.
Tons of it.
So what's he need money for?
Just to support him, like to so that way he can hire him the guy.
So you don't know with me.
You don't know, do you?
No, I don't.
Okay.
Let's just do a quick racism before we jump into the male B. Okay.
I'm a black female.
What other different...
What else could I have done to piss you off?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
So you've seen this old thing with Gondoliza Rice on the view.
Everyone's so confused by black female conservatives.
It's amazing that the left gives them so much power.
Candace Owens is a great commentator.
She's an intelligent woman and an invaluable asset to the right.
But why is she so invaluable?
Is she particularly witty?
No?
Pretty normal.
She's like Elijah Schaefer.
But with a slightly more black focus when it comes to pop culture.
But because the left put all their eggs in the female black voices basket, when one of them talks out of term and one of their pets misbehave, they don't know what to do.
Because they've been screaming, listen to black women again and again.
Like Ashley Marie Preston, who isn't even a woman.
So she was on the view and she said, no, go back.
2-5.
Oh, no, 2-6.
2-6.
She said, it's a long thing, we're not going to show the whole thing, but she said, seven-year-old white kids shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of themselves.
They haven't done anything wrong.
And January 6th was not a big deal.
Calm down.
It was trespassing.
Well, she did say it was bad, but she said, not this bad.
Calm down.
What Senator McConnell may be referencing is, yes, it's time to move on in a lot of ways.
I'm one who believes that the American people are now concerned about their, what we call, kitchen table issues, the price of gasoline, inflation.
We've got to move on to the next generation, the move ahead and deal with the American people's issues.
It's really politically expedient for Mitch McConnell to say, let's move on and let's move on.
The problem is that PASC will become prologue if we don't find out exactly what happened January 1st.
And we will.
It's not the time right now.
PASS will become prologue.
We must find out.
We must find out.
We will find out.
We will find out.
But I'm going to tell you, I live in California, not Washington, D.C. And the American people do have other concerns that we ought to be thinking about and talking about.
Respectfully.
And so, well, let me finish that, Sonny.
I also know that as a government and as a country, we've got to be concerned about the things that are making life hard for Americans and hard for American families.
First of all, parents ought to be involved in their children's education.
Their children are in school seven hours.
That's a very formative period.
And I think parents ought to have a say.
We used to have parent-teacher conferences.
We used to have PTAs.
There are lots of ways for parents to be involved, and they should be.
My parents never thought I was going to grow up in a world without prejudice, but they also told me that's somebody else's problem, not yours.
You're going to overcome it.
Perfect.
And you are going to be anything you want to be.
Yeah, what a strange phenomenon.
Like, say racism was everywhere.
And outside of it rearing its ugly head and cross burnings, whatever, just knowing that the guy over there hates you.
Yeah, that's been my life.
Everywhere I go, I know that there's two or three people.
Even when I was in eighth grade, anyone who has a sort of outgoing personality and is noteworthy, class clown or whatever it is, punk rocker, magazine publisher, you're going to have enemies.
Who gives a shit?
Like that person over there.
It's like that Jewish guy at the bar who said, has sent his friend over to tell me that he feels unsafe with me in the bar.
Because I regularly murder upper middle class Jewish men as they play pool.
Who?
What's that?
Say that again.
What other people think about you is none of your business.
What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.
These Turks with their stupid amulets that have an eye on them and it's to prevent the evil eye and from people gossiping about you, that's an integral part of your culture.
That's gay.
Oh no, someone's speaking about me.
Anyway, you heard Condoleezza, right?
Totally reasonable stuff.
Boring, actually.
I mean, I'm not watching that whole video.
It's redundant.
She's in big shit with the black community, especially the retarded black community like Ture.
I love how black he is, right?
He did his PhD on prince.
Not the monarch, the performer.
And you see him get tossed around like a hot potato, sort of like our buddy Mark Lamont Hill.
And I think that's an indication that someone is really hard to work with.
Now, I've been fired from every job I've ever had.
Maybe I'm hard to work with too.
Maybe I'm just as bad as Ture.
God.
What are you doing, mom and dad?
With his bachelor's degree, formerly known as Prince.
He ain't black.
He's shameful.
You know, Lord said that you can't trust a woman, but he act like a woman.
He got some motion, though.
Baylor.
Condoleezza Rice's CRT stance proves.
No debating here.
We're done.
Proves she's a foot soldier for white supremacy.
And that, of course, is hot off the presses of the Griot.
What the fuck is the Griot?
Boy, you know all names are taken when you come up with a new news company called The Griot.
The Grio?
Griot TV.
I don't know what's on it, but they have a schedule here.
Okay, let's watch some.
Continent comes to Harlem.
Digsown.
Number one with a bullet.
Range.
Okay, nice thumbnails, Grio.
Yeah.
Can we see some of your shit?
This shit looks incomplete.
Is this like Universal trying to do a Hulu?
Oh, look.
They even got white people in there, too.
Okay, I want to watch one of your shows, Grio.
Okay, why?
Global newsmakers live on the Grio TV.
News, movies, and the biggest names in entertainment.
You got things for 100.
Black culture amplified.
Why am Tam Grio?
I'm papa.
Black culture.
I'm papa.
News and it's just Kamala's face.
Imagine we had to always fall back on white news.
How much of a loser you'd look like?
Like, say you, you kept getting fired and pushed away, and you kept doing things on the Japanese Puerto Rican community.
Yeah.
We just go, Ryan doesn't have a life outside of his racial identity.
Everybody got their beat, Gavin.
Mark Lamont Hill is doing Black News Tonight.
That's his griot.
That's his grift.
Black News Tonight.
Wouldn't it be funny if a mainstream source like CNN or 60 Minutes goes, it was said earlier on Black News Tonight that the white man had been stewing ever since Martin Luther King was killed.
They wish they had done it.
Black News Tonight.
You want to hear my theory on Mark Lamont Hill?
So he's not good at math, and he thinks Jews run the country.
They're in trouble.
But instead of that making him mad, he goes, I want to be part of a group that runs the country.
Is it Masons?
And then he sees Nation of Islam around and he goes, oh, it's Muslims.
Okay, I'm going to be Muslim.
So he converts to Islam silently.
Remember, he wouldn't admit it on our show, but he's definitely a Muslim.
Right, he wouldn't answer that, yeah.
He's got like a 1% thing on his Twitter background.
He's a Muslim.
But when I told him that Muslims are 1% of the population, he laughed in my face.
And other African leaders?
Was that me saying that?
No, him.
Two.
That's multiple.
Okay, sorry.
You do get how that works, right?
Touche.
Touche.
Before I had to say that.
That's one thing he got me on.
Kill everyone.
I don't give a shit.
Yeah, we had to scour for that so that way he was like, you know, didn't look at the teaser and was like, oh no.
Not mad.
I defer to Roger on this.
That's an easy thing.
But yeah, so he thinks Muslims control America the same way in his mind Jews run America.
So he goes, I can't be on the second group.
I'll be on the first group.
And then he's like, okay, Farrakhan, get me a fancy job at CNN.
And they're like, we could help you maybe get on BET.
Black news tonight.
Before this, he was doing a black coffee show, and it was a pop gossip show that I think was on Instagram.
Like OP Hughes.
Black news tonight.
What a fucking joke.
All right, let's jump over to the fucking mailbag.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Dem fucking gays, says this guy.
I believe I just expounded on a thought and had one of those moments in life where you have a complete Change of view.
I think we can attribute all the cockery we see with mainstreaming trans people as sane, normal, regular people to the initial normalization of gays and lesbians.
I would argue with you, sir, and say that this feminization of men goes back to indie rock and sort of like post-emo soft indie grunge where they'd have like baggy pants on and a cardigan and they go drinking lemon with like a baggy beanie and little fingerless gloves with painted nails.
This is a dude I'm talking about.
Drinking lemonade that some grade school students made lying in the sun and thinking I got paid.
Well, maybe he's gay.
You ever thought of that?
Like I'm a jerk.
I'm a weirdo with Radiohead, all this like indie cute boy stuff.
You could argue it started back then.
But yeah.
And I can't get over the thought that a lot of these playing characters, like young boys, always play Fortnite as a chick.
Because apparently she's got a thinner waist and she's harder to hit.
So, I mean, Ryan does this too.
You're looking at a dude being a woman.
You were a woman in that dragon game.
There's no choice.
Well, that says everything right there.
I have no choice.
If you went to a men's store and they only had women's pants, you'd go, this is not a men's store.
But you're like, this is awesome.
I'm sexy.
Let me roll down a hill with the spear in my hand.
My never said he was sexy.
He had to play as a woman because the video game system, they got them all wrapped up in the trappings and the video game controllers.
It was too big for your thumbs.
I mean, you can't build a fire without a match, right?
Have I gone Arab?
Because now I'm kind of regretting the whole fuck who you want to sentiment I've carried my entire life.
Perhaps it was a bad idea from the start.
Do you think there's a rational way of correcting this social blunder?
Or are we age-level fucked?
Well, don't worry about rescuing 100% of society, but you can rescue yourself.
And the way you do that is put a ring on it.
You've done a lot of fucking, dude.
A whole lot of fucking.
And now it's time to get serious and do a new chapter in your life.
Put a ring on it.
You're not going to get better than her.
She's great.
If you're having any doubts, read The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray, and he will tell you the basic rules for deciding if she's the one.
But let me just tell you she is.
You're not looking for a soulmate, okay?
She doesn't have to be perfect.
You end up seeing the guys you work with more than your wife.
I don't see my wife that much.
Saturdays and Sundays, my kids usually have baseball, and we don't sit together.
I sit with the dads, and she sits with the moms.
So it's not like you're tied at the hip.
I'm not selling marriage very well, am I?
What if you had a game called Baseball, where every time you hit the ball, you're like 13% of the population commits for you?
Hey, young folks, the dude who caught the arm sleeve was a country bumpkin who didn't give a fuck about basketball.
And the entire game, he was talking shit about the Lakers, and specifically Kobe.
Oh.
That's why people were cheering because they didn't want him to get the shirt.
That changes everything.
And I'm sorry.
Can you just show everyone what we're talking about in case they didn't see yesterday's episode?
When he catches the sleeve, his reaction is, fuck, I don't deserve this.
His cousins, who were there with him, laugh ironically and are almost okay with someone stealing it until they realize, oh yeah, we're Lakers fans.
Fucking women.
This is him saying that.
I am too.
That's when they try and help him get it back.
In that case, celebration from the final recipients is totally warranted.
Love the show.
Can't wait to support my new Let's Go Brandon merch.
Have you got it yet?
No, let's see.
I got a search by you.
Yesterday's show.
Why are you just starting now when I asked you to pull it up a minute ago?
I've been.
I've been.
Okay.
It was final video.
Oh, no, it was the green screen.
Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I had the same thought as you during yesterday's dad's on duty clip.
Don't you guys work?
There's something you missed, though.
Oh, so that's why he's laughing because he's been talking shit the whole game.
I get it.
That changes everything.
So it's just a sleeve?
I don't want Kobe's sleeve.
What do you do?
Frame it?
That's gay.
Having a big frame thing.
I guess you write Kobe on the glass or something.
Yeah, so the dads who volunteer to hang out at the schools, which made us go, aren't you unemployed?
The interviewer asks, do any of you have a degree in school counseling or criminal justice?
And he says that kind of proves how useless the school counselor is at handling children misbehaving because there is someone there whose job is that.
And they fucking fucked up.
Okay, now I'm going way down, Ryan, to Taco Bell.
Whoops.
I just deleted it.
Hey, Kweef Squad.
I created a GoFundMe so Ryan can get his Taco Bell fixed without angering his wife.
Just want to say, I get it.
My wife tried to tell me that I couldn't spend money on fast food and I nicely...
What the fuck?
It vanished.
I got it.
These brand new computers, you touch one thing and it goes to another universe.
That's hilarious.
I just want to say, I get it.
My wife tried to tell me that I couldn't spend money on fast food and I nicely said, I don't tell you what to spend money on, and I make a majority of it.
Love you more than a friend.
So this is his GoFundMe.
It has a $5 goal.
That's hurtful.
So yeah, that's enough for a burrito box.
Hi, I'm a fellow baby monster, and I'm attempting to help Ryan raise money for Taco Bell or potentially money to cover his testicle treatment surgery, a reattachment surgery.
I know based off his picture, it appears that he no longer needs fast food or food in general, but with your small donation, you can help feed a underprivileged Japrikan man that has long lived under the abuse of the white man.
It is un and underprivileged, sir.
Check this out.
Somebody made you a cat.
Where's Hip Turd?
I don't get that.
Maybe there's a, like, where's Clifford or something?
He's calling me Hip Turd.
And then somebody also asks you about the sprinkles.
Let's see.
Let's see if you're sprinkling us with sprinkles.
By the way, we are at 100% not sprinkles right when baby monsters send in a sprinkle.
Hey, Anakin.
What?
Shut up.
Don't call me that anymore.
I'm on the Dart side.
You can call me Dar.
I cut off his hand so easily.
You stormtroopers suck.
Who are you?
I'm the guy that does his job.
You must be the other guy.
I'm fing Darth Veda.
What are you talking about?
I don't want to see the Emperor today.
He freaks me out.
It's on your schedule.
Darn it!
I think it's almost happened.
Mark Wahlberg is Darth Veda.
Hey, Anakin.
What?
Okay, that was really good.
Mark Wahlberg is...
I'm not sure that with impressions, though, that you talk about sprinkles.
Sprinkles is specifically comedy and funniness.
Ryan Reynolds getting robbed by Mark Wahlberg.
I'm getting robbed by Mark Wahlberg.
Hey, put your hands up and give me a wallet.
Here you go.
Your voice sounds very familiar.
That's impossible.
I've never met you.
Well, I guess I'm wrong.
Bye, Mark.
See you later, Ryan.
Give me back the wallet, Mark.
John's gonna kill me.
We were gonna make you pay for our Chipotle tonight.
Here's Ryan Reynolds getting robbed.
Pretty funny.
What do you think, Ryan?
That's your feel.
He's good at the impressions.
The Ryan Reynolds is pretty good.
It's kind of you.
Yeah, we're both Canucks.
Oh, that's right.
Dear G, I met him once at a wedding, and I had heard that he didn't have a stag.
And I'm like, dude, you're Canadian.
That's our bachelor party.
Oh, you need a fucking stag.
It's like, yeah, okay.
I just didn't get around to it.
Get a stag, Fag.
I'll fucking hook you up.
And then it never happened.
Dear G-Unit and Yin-Yang Fagstein.
Loving the content you guys have been putting out recently.
Real quality Gav.
I know you're not a fan of Scotch whiskey, but did you know that Jack and Victor of Still Game have their own bottle?
Even though I'm Scottish like you, I prefer bourbon over Scotch.
Yeah.
It would be a cool bottle to own.
I'm mad at fucking Maddie Odell for not watching Still Game.
I'm going to send him a text and say, if you don't watch Still Game, we're no longer friends.
I think it's on Netflix.
Yes, it is, shithead.
Well, that makes it easy.
I could watch it.
Yeah, Me too?
Nope.
I don't care about you.
What the fudge?
Oh, this one was crazy.
Bank policing speech.
So let me just phrase this correctly.
Here is an example of the bank policing speech.
Hello, pussy and faggot.
I'll let you all decide which is which.
My small bank, my small local bank is now censoring my speech.
This got under my skin more than it should, but I'm trying to do the just enjoy it thing and get right with the Lord.
But nothing about this makes any logical sense.
Nothing about this is, quote unquote, offensive.
As a person who has been debanked yourself, you know of any free speech banks?
I find it absurd and comical that I ever have to ask this question in America.
I'm in the middle of Florida.
So those are his two accounts, and then he just puts in the description, you know, the thing.
And because that's an example of Joe Biden sounding stupid, it's now hate speech.
So does that mean he's copyrighted the, you know, the thing?
You can't say that anymore?
They want access to your bank accounts now.
It's in that budget bill.
Anybody over $600 in their bank account, they want to be able to monitor and shit like that.
It's a Biden proposal.
Everyone but kids with a paper root.
There we go.
Biden proposal to give the IRS access to your bank account.
Equity across.
Here's a correction, Ryan.
Once again, you're wrong, even when you're positive, you're right.
Mac Mini 2014.
So it does say it's a 2014 model, but it wasn't manufactured in 2014.
I bought a brand new one in 2018, and it still says it's a late 2014 model.
So Ryan, you're right, but mostly wrong.
It's a brand new mini, but labeled different.
Oh.
Well, it's not brand new.
This is a couple years old.
But yes, I get you.
Yeah, see, that's what he does.
It's not brand new.
He obviously.
It's factually not brand new.
Yeah.
And then now that's just erased because he added ambiguity.
No, no, no.
So now it's like, it wasn't 2014.
It was a little bit later.
That's correct.
It's still a couple years old.
Yeah, that wasn't our argument.
And Apple age.
The argument was 2014.
Apple's age like not one.
Now you're changing it again.
Now you have a new one.
Now it's like, it doesn't matter.
Two years old is the same as five years old.
2016.
Let's say.
No, I won't say that.
17?
18.
More like 18.
At least four years old.
Yeah, but that wasn't the argument.
Anyway, I just thought the left couldn't get any worse.
Hey, Gavin Ryga, look at this video of a Democrat trying to use the same vibes.
Wait, I think we saw this yesterday.
Yeah, we did this yesterday.
We covered that yesterday.
Yes.
Okay, I think we're all caught up, dude.
This is the first.
Dang.
Damn.
All right, let's get to the final vid.
Diamonds alright and the show was pretty tight.
So we gon' have a show with a fun video.
28.
It's already been broke.
Let's see what we got.
Here behind the flashing TVs.
Ready to go.
Oh yeah, this is in the Britain.
So someone, this goes back to what I was saying about community.
So you see someone stealing a scooter.
It's not yours.
You confront the boys.
Now, I think the logical thing to do is to just get up, grab a handle of the scooter, shove them.
You don't have to fight little kids.
You don't have to ring their bell.
But he at least verbally confronts them.
I mean, at this point, I'll take it.
In some northern English town.
Why are you stealing it though?
We're not stealing it, mate.
It's already been broke.
You just nicked off the hospital.
It's already been broke.
It's been there for years.
Yeah, it's 21, mate.
What are you lying for?
You didn't stole this bike, mate.
Why are you putting this in?
Oh, he chased him on foot.
You made a loser.
So he broke his finger there.
Call the police, mate.
Call the police.
They just robbed that bike.
Call the police!
I just robbed that bike.
My finger, lad.
My finger.
Call the police, mate.
I think it's hanging by a thread.
Leaves his friend back there.
His big brother.
They're giving your breaking finger and fuck off.
They call the police.
My finger.
Call the police.
They just robbed that bike.
Call an abolish!
You deserve that, you bastard.
You fucking deserve that.
That car as well, you fucking damaged that car.
Fucking.
Well, shouldn't you chase him and at least throw him down?
Hold him down there with your foot?
Something?
Alright, folks, that is Tuesday's show.
Tomorrow we're in the Hawaiian shirts, rapping with Kumiya.
Thursday night, it's live as can be.
It's got that telethon coming up.
Ooh, and this weekend we've got Halloween.
I guess Friday should be our spooky episode.
What day is Halloween there?
Why guy?
I think it's Sunday.
Yeah, it's Sunday night.
It is.
So Friday's going to be our sexy show.
Prepare to get horny.
Damn.
In the meantime, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
That's singing his song.
Where these lazy women are always doing me wrong, doing me wrong.
I'm just a hot man.
Sing it in a song.
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