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Oct. 15, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:04:56

GOML LIVE #119 - ROCK RAP

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.
	Many, many years ago, and never be a rules in red.
	No one ever scared your bed, nothing ever filled your head except cry if you want.
	That's the who.
	It's hard put out when Pete Townsend was working on his gay album.
	Rough boys.
	Oh, I got the wrong glasses on.
	Can you go get my cool glasses?
	Where he goes, Rough Boys, out on the streets.
	I'm gonna suck and taste you.
	So he didn't have a lot of time for It's Hard.
	It's weird that he's called, it's called It's Hard, too.
	Ryan, can you get my lunettes?
	I didn't know they were called Lunettes.
	It's French.
	They're on my desk in my glasses case.
	I want it to match this wonderful t-shirt.
	A lot of t-shirts coming out.
	The Let's Go Brandon shirts are fucking spelled wrong.
	I just realized, thanks to a baby monster, they, Let's has an apostrophe.
	So the good news is this first run of shirts will be like those collector stamps where the plane is upside down and they're worth $3 million.
	The first run of these t-shirts has a typo.
	And that'll be amazing.
	But yeah, It's Hard, terrible album.
	I loved it because I was a little kid.
	I was like 13 when it came out.
	And back then, you just take whatever record you're lucky enough to get and you listen to it 700 times until it's the best album ever, whether it is or not.
	Welcome to Maddie O'Dell.
	What's up, everybody?
	Back.
	Heart is in working order.
	Cheers.
	The keg is not.
	We're at the bottom of the keg.
	We're getting a lot of fuzz.
	This is the live episode.
	It's free for the first half hour.
	We go through the mailbag and then we take calls.
	But we take calls behind the paywall to punish you for being so cheap that you will not pay for the show.
	We want to thank one of our oldest sponsor, veteran-owned tactical wall.
	Ryan, what the fuck is on your feet?
	They're crocs.
	They're boat shoes.
	Why don't you show the camera the disgusting, fucking, stupid...
	Dude, you're short.
	And short people can't afford to wear big, fat, wide shoes.
	Croc boat shoes?
	Oh, boy.
	I know you can bend them.
	Yeah, I know you can bend them.
	That's the problem.
	What the fuck?
	And then you have socks, little girly bobby socks, and you're wearing women's jeans.
	What jeans are those?
	Mom jeans.
	I think Aeropastel?
	Mom jeans, they're daughter jeans.
	What are they called?
	I think they're Aeropastel.
	Or Hollister?
	They stretch.
	You're wearing a hot 19-year-old girl's pants.
	You're wearing shoes.
	I guess I could forgive if the guy was like a rich fisherman, but not really.
	And then you have a decent shirt on that I gave you because I accidentally shrank it.
	So you look like an idiot.
	But yes, Tactical Walls, veteran-owned.
	Hide your guns, hide your kids, hide your wife, says our copywriter, who I'm no longer reading from.
	TacticalWalls.com, best products in America.
	We were just talking about it, actually, about all the wonderful things we wish we could have if we were to have guns.
	We use ours for baseball bats and machetes and other legal things here in the South Bronx.
	But you people in free states can have, what are those guns up there, Maddie?
	You got a couple of variations of the M4 or AR-15.
	The one with the blocky stock just above your head is that's a SCAR-17 Heavy.
	A SCAR-17 Heavy.
	Yep.
	It's beautiful.
	Oh, yeah.
	Does that go or do you have to go?
	But as far as the bullets go, do you have to pull a trigger for every bullet?
	It could be full auto.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I just saw it.
	They're more likely semi-auto, but some people do have class three full-auto weapons.
	Very expensive.
	I just saw a cop got shot with a full auto handgun.
	Wow.
	Use the promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.
	That is tacticalwalls.com.
	Promo code Gavin, 20% off.
	We had Tim on the show before.
	He's got, it's not, it's primarily a fantastic place to mount your guns, but it's also great for sports, to put your fire shit on, to put up your...
	Oh, they also do great things for your cars.
	Great places to hide guns.
	Mirrors where you push a little thing and there's a gun behind the mirror.
	A Kleenex box, shelves that hide things.
	Clocks.
	What?
	There's a clock, too.
	A clock you can hide your gun in.
	Just fantastic places to hide your gun.
	So you don't have to worry about people knowing what your arsenal is, unless, of course, they cross a line and you have to blow their head off.
	A Glock clock.
	The Glock clock.
	Now, I made that up, but they can use that if they'd like to.
	Tim, if you're listening, 1410 wall clock is not very catchy.
	It should be called the Glock Clock.
	That's right.
	All right, let's start the show.
	What should we talk about?
	Bannon's possibly going to get arrested.
	Says who?
	They're going to vote on Tuesday, I think, to see if he's in contempt.
	This is all about January 6th, because he didn't show up to a hearing about January 6th.
	The ultimate nothing burger, the January 6th meandering.
	I'm fascinated by all of the libs Who are still obsessed with January 6th?
	I understand the day of, even a week after, going, ooh, it's so scary.
	But after we've come through zero evidence, they're getting trespassing, they're still pushing it.
	Like it's the fucking smoking gun.
	Meanwhile, the only smoking gun was the gun that blew Ashley Babbitt away by some retard affirmative action hire who regularly left his gun in the bathroom.
	What?
	And wore a stupid pocket square with a matching tie.
	This is good news, though.
	A judge held two D.C. officials in contempt after they left a Capitol Riot suspect with a broken wrist for four months without surgery.
	Like that couple on fucking Tucker who were old vet farmers that lost everything to defend themselves when they weren't even there.
	Or that poor bitch in Alaska where the SWAT team shows up.
	God knows how long it took them to get there.
	She was not near an airport.
	So they flew into, what's the big place in Alaska called?
	Anchorage?
	Anchorage.
	They flew into Anchorage.
	Then they had to take a fucking one-prop plane to some other butt-fuck town.
	And then they had to drive for six hours to eventually get to her cabin in the middle of nowhere, kick her door down, and she's like, I wasn't even there, morons.
	This is the worst FBI in history.
	Is it the FBI?
	I mean, I don't even know who's in control of the investigation.
	Is it the Secret Service?
	Is it the Capitol Police?
	Is it the FBI?
	It's not the Capitol Police.
	It's the FBI, the CIA.
	I don't know.
	How much did they spend throwing you in jail?
	Oh, my one case was $2 million.
	$2 million to get Matty O off the streets.
	Look, I hate him as much as everyone else does, but I'd probably pay $200 to get him off the streets.
	And I think it's the FBI.
	Oh, my God.
	Taneshi Coates is on the show.
	And I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Taneshi, besides that catchphrase you keep doing with I think I know why what would you say the impetus is for the left being so fixated on January 6th I think that happened in July no it was January 6th it was a cold day yep you know what I noticed that guy had nothing when you were looking up when you were looking up his face yes that guy from the Raiders who got shit for saying that dude had big lips yeah
	now our social media is destroyed yes every time i post on getter or something it's i think i know wahaha oh yeah i get it all on my socials everything did you see these brand new shirts though we're working on it's just called t-shirts ryan it arrived at 702 p.m i think i want to make these just a little circle above the left hit classy one oh we should do them fluorescent orange do you know what i'm talking about high
	coffee blend brazilian roast blend all on sale plus free shipping on all orders when you go to www.beardvet.com that's not enough when you use promo code gavin you get an additional 15 off check out beardvet and tell them Gavin sent you.
	Sean, the owner of BeardVet, is one of us.
	He's a good egg, and we like him more than a friend.
	Like most of our sponsors, Beard Vet is clearly a veteran-owned company.
	We support them and they support us.
	That's beardvet.com.
	Promo code Gavin for 50% off.
	All orders and Christmas giveaways.
	Look at that stuff.
	You know, it's funny that vets seem to be the only ones working in America these days because they have the discipline from the Army.
	And when they're told they don't have to go to work, and they're told they can get a stimulus check, and they're told they could probably stay home, they go, I'd rather not, thanks.
	I'd rather just bust my ass and make something because that's what I do.
	I have discipline.
	The rest of us just go, nah, I'm going to sit on my fucking ass and let America rot.
	I was at a pharmacy today to get a toothbrush and some toothpaste, and it was empty.
	Go to my Getter account.
	There was nothing on the shelves.
	Yeah, that's true.
	After making fun of Venezuela forever, our shelves are starting to look similar.
	Then I went to Dick's, which is a male strip club in my area, because I just, I'm not gay, but I wanted to just blow a black guy just to let some steam off.
	Is that the store where they sell you?
	Sporting goods.
	The Dicks, no.
	Dicks called They Want Their U Back.
	That's pretty good.
	They're all sold out of you.
	Now, maybe Dicks is like moving inventory or something and I'm missing something.
	No.
	So that's the drugstore in the South Bronx.
	Look at that shit.
	That's so, doesn't that have a Cuban vibe?
	Yeah, it has a bodega.
	We have so much tooth.
	How much?
	What do you mean there's not enough?
	There's like seven different toothbrush.
	How many teeth you got?
	Yeah, you can get a toothbrush.
	This is America.
	We want 300 different toothbrushes.
	I heard some foreigner comedian going, you people here in America, you have an aisle for cereal.
	A whole aisle.
	And I'm like, yeah, bitch.
	We got a fucking aisle of cereal, motherfucker.
	Candy, cereal, Cheerios.
	Jesus Christ.
	Look at that.
	We got two baskets of stupid balls nobody wants.
	Some shorts.
	And that's it.
	Some boxes that aren't unpacked.
	That's the other problem is you can't get anyone to come help.
	No.
	I was looking for a driver at Dick's.
	I wanted to get to the Tiger Woods one.
	It's called like the X Rev 5 or some shit.
	And he goes, well, we have the X Max.
	And I go, okay, what's the difference?
	It's a little stiffer than the Tiger Woods one you're looking for.
	Oh, okay.
	And he goes, hold on, I'll check in the back to see if we have any.
	This is the kind of worker that's left.
	Just an old drunk who wasn't there for his kids and he got arrested with a DUI and he showed up there in a daze.
	He's probably still drunk from the night before.
	He's gone in the back room for 12 minutes, probably sucking on the Mickey that's in his top drawer.
	And he comes back and he goes, nope.
	And I go, what about this one?
	He goes, that's a display.
	And I go, what about the 13 that are next to it?
	He had missed an entire display that was in the fucking back.
	And I go, he's an old dude.
	I go, what's the matter with you, Bill?
	It has his name on there.
	And he goes, well, I didn't see it there.
	And I'm like, you walked directly by a massive display that exclusively displays the drivers that I'm looking for.
	And you poo-poo this discovery like it doesn't exist.
	Not that he doesn't walk around his store all day.
	I don't need you.
	No.
	Leave.
	Let me go back there.
	You're supposed to be better than nothing, dude.
	You're not better than nothing.
	Yo, this guy sounds like a piece of garbage piece of freaking crap.
	Mike Rappaport.
	Oh my God, Michael Rappaport.
	Yeah, this dude sounds like a piece of dirt crap, dude.
	What are you a freaking dick, dude?
	Get the hell out of here with your freaking motherfreaking shit.
	Mike, I don't want to...
	I'm so glad that we got you on the show.
	We don't usually get major guests like this, but I couldn't help but notice you moved to LA when you were 18, which was probably like 40, 40 years ago.
	What's with the New York accent?
	Dude, you know why I was born in New York, bro?
	Dude, I got freaking rap in my name, bro.
	Dude, I knew so many.
	How many rappers you know, dude?
	You mother freaking, get the freak out of here.
	I think you would say fuck.
	Yeah, trying to.
	The Beastie Boys, I guess, are your friends, and that makes you eternally New York-y.
	Dude, New York Jews is like, dude, who do you think bagels is from?
	I feel like if you moved to Scotland when you were 18, and you were whatever you are now, 55, you'd have a Scottish accent.
	Like, it's so phony.
	You're like Coco Diaz and all these other phony New Yorkers who go to LA and play up their wise guy shit.
	What the fuck?
	To be fair, ACDC, yeah, they moved to freaking, what'd you call it?
	Australia?
	Yeah, Australia.
	I sound like a bunch of Australian freaking dude, like a dingo.
	Jesus.
	It's clean rappapore.
	I like that.
	You know what I've seen here?
	What?
	I went to the Halloween store today, and look at this, what they got here.
	It's not a real spider, Brian.
	You're not scared.
	But it jumps up at you, right?
	So, look at that.
	Your IQ is perfect for those kind of things.
	Dude, it scares you.
	Oh, a spider.
	This is in the Bronx, so it scares everybody who walks in.
	Oh, yeah.
	My wife is like, don't, no, don't do that.
	I'm like, no, I have to do this.
	So there's just a bunch of...
	There's one.
	White people are probably the least scared.
	They get past it.
	Okay.
	I think this is a good one.
	Am I racist for assuming that Puerto Ricans and blacks are going to be the worst?
	Puerto Ricans are going to be the most scared, and blacks are going to break the windows with fear.
	There was this black dude that like he...
	Oh, this is him.
	Yeah, this is the best one.
	And you were right.
	Your theory prevails.
	There's no idea.
	Yo.
	The spider's resetting.
	Yo, is that a real spider?
	Yo.
	He gets his kids in first.
	Well, they lived.
	Oh, no, he's got his baby.
	No.
	Did he make sure his entire family got in first?
	Yeah.
	To see if they die from the spider bites.
	They all knew he was there too.
	They were all looking.
	Yeah, he sacrificed chemicals.
	Wow, so you're a real roving reporter.
	Yes, I was out in the house.
	And on the street.
	Look at you.
	Go.
	And I got a skeleton for us.
	Let's see.
	Wow, you really know how to spend money.
	Oh, he's hidden.
	This is Ryan on his day off.
	He films Scared Puerto Ricans and buys, goes to a Halloween store and buys what?
	A $2 skeleton?
	Did you buy anything else?
	$3.
	I didn't buy anything else.
	This was the only good thing there.
	Did your wife?
	No, she didn't freaking buy.
	Dude, she's a freaking adult.
	So you guys made the trek all the way to the fucking Halloween store.
	You filmed people, you wandered around, and then you came back with a $2 skeleton.
	Well, dude, it was a freaking afterthought.
	$3.
	We were there for White Castle.
	Okay.
	Jesus.
	That's what we craved.
	So did you see the?
	All right.
	I don't know if you...
	This is the least exciting one.
	They get better and better.
	We already showed this, dude.
	Not this one.
	This is the show, Matt and the Blonde.
	Very popular.
	Hey, Matt, what are your thoughts on the bird, which is the bald eagle?
	What about it?
	Is it cool?
	I don't know.
	It's pretty majestic.
	I'm sure you have a lot of bald eagles in your neck of the woods.
	I see a lot.
	So, many.
	And they are predatory species.
	Remember when everybody thought that they were in danger?
	They were in danger.
	Wow, they really got into it.
	Yeah, there's two.
	So that one's not so exciting.
	This one's very exciting.
	I'm saving the best for last, and you're going to flip, I believe.
	This one's really good.
	Last thing, let's not forget our national bird, the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	So thank you, Owen.
	I appreciate you.
	All right.
	Thank you for the call.
	He has no idea.
	You really save the best of the end.
	We have some new friends in the studio.
	We should probably explain to them what the bird, which is the bald eagle, is.
	It's worth updating people regularly, especially if there's some sort of alien invasion or these shows are archived and they're discovered 7,000 years later.
	Hey, aliens.
	There was a ridiculous drug-dealing loser who got in an altercation with police and died.
	It was an irrelevant detail in our history, but for some reason, half the country decided that this loser was a saint and he was murdered by the police and it was indicative of a pattern.
	So they burnt down the entire country, the best country in the world, America, and there were statues for him.
	He was Jesus Christ.
	He became Jesus Christ overnight.
	And he has children everywhere.
	His family is just a retarded sprawl.
	But his brother, who is literally named Filonius, which you may want to look up on an Earth dictionary, it's not a compliment.
	He was told by his lawyer to get up and say, look, man, we have endangered species.
	We have the bald eagle on the endangered species list.
	Yet we don't have the black man.
	Why is the bald eagle considered an endangered species and the black man is not?
	His lawyer and him went through it 700 times.
	He hits the mic and he goes, the bird which is the bald eagle.
	Take the bird which is the bald eagle.
	And when he fucks it up, you can see it break his lawyer's heart.
	Yeah, he just looks over him like.
	That's not what we rehearsed.
	Oh, fuck.
	Look at Malcolm X behind him, too.
	Red.
	Remember, Malcolm X was called Red?
	Redbone.
	He's literally Redbone.
	Hi, Yellow.
	I should have changed my name to Gavin X after Vice.
	That is pretty dope.
	This one, you could...
	I dropped it to myself so that way it's better quality.
	You could see Schroyer's face.
	Which is the bald eagle.
	So thank you, Owen.
	I appreciate you.
	All right.
	Thank you for the call.
	I don't like when people's beards are more important than their mustache.
	Interesting.
	Now, this is the grand finale.
	He's got to either trim his beard or get a new mustache.
	This is my, I'm obsessed with this person.
	It's Gigi Gorgeous here.
	I have a very unique and special request from your friend, Jake.
	He wanted me to tell you that you are like the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	I have no idea what that means, but he said that your advice and examples of how to be a better person help him.
	And I just wanted to let you know that I love you.
	And yeah, I hope this message serves you well.
	Stay gorgeous.
	Hey, Gigi, you want to be a better person?
	Don't break your father's heart by being you.
	The broken heart, which is my father's.
	Yeah.
	She and her husband went to a gynecologist and talked about the fact that they're having trouble having a baby.
	The gynecologist looked at Gigi Gorgeous' genitalia, noticed it was a penis, and said, I'm not sure what, this wasn't exactly my training.
	That hurt Gigi Gorgeous quite a bit.
	Then the gynecologist found out that the other person in the relationship, who looks a lot like a woman, has a cunt because she is.
	And the gynecologist dared to think outside the box and said, what about you take your penis, madam, and put it in your husband's vagina?
	Sir.
	I don't know if you know this, but you're in a heterosexual relationship.
	You're basically a glam rocker in the band Skid Row, and your husband is a tomboy who had her tits removed, by the way, at Gigi's behest.
	Speaking of tomboy, last submission from my Ryan-censored TV account, you're TikTok famous yet again.
	Women do earn less in America because they choose to.
	They would rather go to their daughter's piano recital than stay all night at work working on a proposal.
	So they end up earning less.
	They're less ambitious.
	And I think this is sort of God's way.
	This is nature's way of saying women should be at home with the kids.
	They're happier there.
	These women are happier at home.
	Sit down.
	Women?
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	The way those memes things are supposed to go is, you're ugly.
	You're a loser.
	No one wants to fuck you.
	And it's a nerdy looking girl.
	And then she goes, like, hold up.
	And then she spent like two hours in the mirror and she has her hair did.
	And she's like, oh, really?
	Who's ugly now, bitch?
	Yeah.
	This woman takes me saying very true things about women, which I'm totally proud of.
	Thank you.
	Like, there's nothing worse than people repeating shit that you didn't mean and taking it out of context and going, this guy thinks blacks need to go back to Africa.
	And you're running around trying to put up fires.
	Go, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	But that's exactly what I said in the perfect context.
	Yes, nailed it.
	I couldn't be happier.
	I don't even like, I don't even regret one syllable of that rant.
	But your slam dunk is to change your shirt from a short sleeve shirt to a long sleeve shirt and put some dumb shit on your head.
	That's like a, it's not even a real band.
	It's like a filter or something.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	So what's the impact here?
	I don't understand what changed from the pre this to that.
	And then she does this dumb, or he does this dumb punch.
	Is that a guy?
	Yeah.
	Wait, what?
	Yeah?
	I mean.
	Well, wait a minute.
	I shouldn't say that.
	I assumed because she said...
	That's when she talks.
	We're getting to charge and cleanse all your shit.
	Oh, yeah.
	Wishing there was some sort of automatic way that they would be all cleansed and charged.
	Oh, look no more.
	Try magical direct deposit.
	Look no further.
	I'm not joking.
	This is an actual method that I use, and I'm going to share it with you all.
	Think of it like having direct deposit into your bank account onto your debit card.
	That's a chick.
	Yeah, it is a chick.
	So wait, go back to the video.
	What's her beef?
	You're saying that the...
	Oh, I get it.
	She identifies as a man.
	So the cis dudes...
	I got scared.
	I got confused by the word cis.
	The cis dudes say, why do you care?
	You're a man now.
	Which is a good point.
	Why does it matter?
	She's like, you're like two.
	Oh, and then she goes bang into a chick?
	I don't even understand these fucking young people.
	Yeah.
	Like, at least when we were annoying, our fathers understood the annoying shit we were saying.
	I was saying shit to my dad, like, you don't understand the working man.
	Communism is the only way the working man can be empowered, dad.
	He'd go, fuck you.
	You've had one fucking job in your life, you stupid cunt.
	I'd watch out, dude.
	That's a valid argument.
	Her off of her med, she turns into an anime character that kills people riding a motorcycle with red eyes.
	I'm not scared of Japanese villains.
	When I was in Japan, I kept seeing the Yakuza and I just felt like slapping them.
	Their punch perms and dogs.
	Yeah, with their little suits on.
	They look like Prince's manager.
	What are you going to do?
	I mean, I hear they chop off someone's finger.
	Yeah, probably voluntarily as part of some initiation thing.
	Initiation.
	Hey, difficult initiation.
	All right, we're past the half hour mark.
	Last one, Bubba and Hanks.
	Bad news.
	Our buddy Bubba is sick.
	And it's not looking great for our friend.
	But we stand by him and people have survived much more dire consequences.
	So let's not give up hope on our cancer-laden friend, Bubba.
	Bubba and Hanks, though, are still working, still up and running.
	So let's support Bubba by buying Bubba and Hanks quality beef.
	Maddie, you had a whole shipment, right?
	What'd you have there?
	I've had pretty much, I mean...
	The Wagyu beef, the hamburgers?
	Yeah, the burgers.
	I mean, I've had just about every cut that they've sent.
	And hands down, great.
	Fantastic.
	Unbelievable.
	Now, how did you cook the Wagyu beef?
	It's got a lot of marble in it, right?
	It's got a lot of...
	I grilled it on a grill.
	Did you add any flavoring?
	Just salt and pepper.
	Interesting.
	Interesting.
	Because the flavor is in the fat inside the meat.
	That's where you get the...
	So you don't want to hamper that by adding...
	Got to come up to room temp, a little salt and pepper.
	On both sides.
	Go to BubbaandHanks.com.
	Use my promo code Gavin.
	That's a terrible picture, by the way.
	That's a much better one.
	Marrow butter.
	Use my promo code Gavin and you'll get an extra 15% off.
	Stick in there, Bub.
	Stay strong.
	Let's show our love and support.
	A vet who supports us.
	Have you noticed?
	100% of our sponsors are vets today.
	What does that tell you?
	I think it tells you that vets are the only ones that are not scared of being canceled.
	Besides those who experience black privilege, like Dave Chappelle, who's special, as we discussed yesterday on Anthony's show, fucking stinks.
	It's a black nanette.
	All he does is complain.
	What a dork.
	Fuck him.
	There's a pun I could use, but I will not do that.
	You still get your money's worth just by saying it exists.
	That's correct.
	All right.
	Shall we go behind the paywall?
	So we're going to continue reading letters for half an hour.
	Then we're going to fucking take some calls.
	The doodles are back.
	Yeah.
	I'm not sure how to advertise that.
	But we'll put it up on our site.
	But I'll explain all this after the what should we call it?
	An intermission?
	A denouement.
	So we're about to go behind the paywall.
	Are you trying to go piss?
	Yeah, brother.
	Just go through there and go straight.
	All right, I'm doing it.
	Until we meet again, which is tomorrow.
	For your cheapies, I guess it's next week.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	So, how should we do this, Ryan?
	Because there's two problems.
	It's hard to advertise auctions because banks freak out when they see it on your website and they shut you down.
	So, we will get it up on the site anyway.
	But it's always got a weird URL.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	So, no longer justiceforliberty.com.
	Oh, that's long gone.
	But it's Charity Auctions Today.
	Here, I'm sending it to you now.
	Oh, wait, that's a text you want to fucking email, right, dog?
	Yeah, how do you look for it?
	Good point.
	So you could go to charity auctions today.com and then do a search.
	Let's see.
	What is the name of the...
	Let's see.
	If we go to home.
	Home?
	And then...
	Okay.
	Oh, that's the home.
	Oh, fuck it.
	We'll figure it out.
	We could leave the in the description of the episode for now.
	Sure, we'll do that.
	We'll do that.
	Copy that.
	So look at the view items, though.
	We've got some real variety here for sale.
	That's all black ink that I've done during various shows, right?
	Some of these drawings are a little crude, but fun to have nonetheless.
	And then there is, keep, just go through them fast.
	Oh, yeah, you have the shittiest internet that you've got to get fixed.
	And remember last time I said, can you look into that?
	I bet you haven't done anything to.
	Look how quick that one happened.
	I bet you haven't done anything to figure out why your internet was so slow.
	Right?
	That's true.
	I've been keeping less tabs open that seems to work.
	I mean, this is pretty snappy.
	Yeah, no, your theories always suck about that.
	No, it's slow because my phone's on.
	Wait, that one doesn't have an image.
	Yeah, it's probably your shitty computer.
	But there's some fun stuff here.
	Oh, fuck.
	Go keep going.
	Or maybe show all items.
	I'm getting annoyed.
	Oh, you're shit.
	Go down.
	So that's more salt.
	And then there's some colored ink for sale.
	But look at this.
	Fatherless daughter.
	Fatherless son.
	Look at that one.
	Those are deep.
	Those are watercolors I did on canvas board.
	Pretty heavy, huh?
	Are they heavy?
	So you will get a canvas board.
	Yeah, it's pretty.
	It's substantial.
	And then the rest of them are by John from prison.
	He's been spending his commissary on art supplies.
	That one's a weird kind of painting he did.
	A lot of colored pencil stuff.
	That's, I think, the only painting.
	But I would say, even if you hate proud boys and you're in Antifa, wouldn't you want this?
	This was done by a proud boy who was in prison for fighting Antifa.
	Like, a huge part of art is the story behind it.
	Oh, what's that?
	Oh, that's Napoleon's, not Napoleon Dynamite, but the French soldier.
	That's his handkerchief.
	Oh, now that's an interesting handkerchief.
	Like, the context makes all of these much more interesting than they are.
	I mean, than you would normally think, I should say.
	Anyway, so he's very excited that these are back up.
	He can start making money for his family again.
	100% of the proceeds go to the Max and John fund, which is split between Max and John Kinsman's family.
	His wife has been working around the clock.
	She's running the whole family.
	She's not on welfare.
	She's a black single mom who homeschools her kids.
	John sends them all kinds of coloring books and math assignments and all kinds of shit.
	So he's teaching his kids from prison, from Bear, what's it called?
	Bear Hill.
	That's the only one we don't know.
	Who did that baby, that fag zone drawing?
	But anyway, he's raising his kids from prison.
	She's busting her ass.
	Can we help these people financially, please?
	They were ripped off.
	They had their father stolen, not so much by Antifa, but by Judge Mark Dwyer, the Soros appointed Cyrus Vance, the DA, whose father, by the way, I just learned, was the Iranian ambassador during Jimmy Carter.
	Cyrus Vance's father is responsible for that debacle in Iran.
	And then Soros funds him to become the DA.
	And it's all fucking social justice warrior bullshit.
	The judge, the DA, Steinglass, the other DA, the prosecutor, I should say, sorry, who was trying to impress Cyrus.
	Total fucking mess.
	And then the three judges.
	Three judges, three of the four judges for the appeal were black women.
	They represent 7% of the population.
	They represented 75% of Max and John's appeal.
	It's brutally corrupt, this clown world we're living in.
	So all we can do is try to raise money for the family.
	So they have something when they get out of jail, which should be in a year at best, a year and a half at worst.
	Not two years.
	Okay, so we'll put that link at the end of the show.
	Let's read a couple more letters.
	Oh, we found out who this is.
	This is from Ryan.
	Another man named Ryan.
	I don't know if his Ryan B., we'll say for now.
	Okay.
	And it's a great little piece.
	By the way, did we discuss that I'm on the Facebook dangerous list?
	We did not discuss that.
	That's also on my getter.
	Facebook, they accidentally leaked all the people they see as a threat to America.
	Proud Boys are prominent.
	They're apparently a German club.
	It says that they're global, but mostly in Germany.
	Whatever.
	And then I'm on it.
	And I noticed the page I was on includes David Duke.
	So there's Proud Boys.
	You see they're in Germany.
	David Duke, Ian Stewart, the dead singer of the white power band Screwdriver, who unfortunately are pretty catchy.
	Enrique Tario, Faith Goldie.
	Fred Phelps is just three names above me.
	Two names above me.
	The man who says God hates fags, which is like so on the nose that it's kind of dubious, isn't it?
	Where was that published?
	The Intercept, I believe, were the first ones to publish it.
	But it's hundreds and hundreds of pages.
	And I made the cuts.
	Here's a guy named Chad.
	Ryan's lag problem.
	Is it possible that the lagging is the FBI tapping your feed?
	Nope, because one computer does go fast.
	Maybe they didn't tap that one yet.
	Watch these white news anchors absolutely amazed when they see a black guy able to stay on a skateboard while it moves one mile an hour.
	They've never seen anything like it.
	Skating news anchor.
	Isn't it funny the whole thing pushing women as skateboarders?
	They all suck.
	I think there's a whole HBO show devoted to it.
	My pal Leslie Arfin produced with pride.
	But you'll see them in commercials too.
	It's always like a commercial for fucking...
	Look at this.
	Whoa.
	And so Mr. Premium is going to be out here every single Monday and Wednesday skateboarding with everyone and trying his best to basically show them exactly what to do.
	As far as Chandler Skate Park, they'll be done in about the next 10 days or so.
	That's what we see.
	This is what they see.
	Everybody at home's like a drummer.
	That's good, folks.
	I wasn't kidding with you.
	Victor, how many years have you been skating yourself?
	Oh, yeah.
	Long time.
	It's been about, I don't know, since I was eight years old.
	All right, Charles.
	Well, you suck if it's been since you were eight years old.
	You couldn't do a rail slide?
	I know that's cool, but that's a whole new level.
	Really good stuff, Victor.
	Great skating.
	Good boy, Victor.
	Good boy.
	A lucky bird.
	Ryan's internet.
	It's also slow and disconnects when he does live streams on both Insta and YouTube from his home.
	Sounds like this guy's a retard, this Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	They said that to me.
	I'm adding the retard.
	Okay, I knew it.
	But they say your shit also sucks from your house.
	Ah.
	What do you think of that?
	Hurtful.
	I don't like it.
	One of the seven people?
	Is it accurate?
	Seven is a good number.
	One of the seven people.
	The Lord's number.
	Watch his live.
	That's correct.
	So where are you in these menu?
	You're like deep in?
	These are from yesterday?
	I didn't think I was.
	I'll just search them.
	9.34 p.m., Ryan.
	Okay.
	If they're talking about your internet, it's pretty darn recent.
	Isn't it ironic that we're talking about Ryan's internet speed and how he thinks it's not his problem and we think it is, and he can't even find the fucking emails that are saying that because he's so incompetent.
	I don't want to show my emails, but.
	New listener here.
	This is called Fuck Yeah.
	This is from 943.
	It is 943 right now.
	My boyfriend and future father of my child recently changed my views and opinions on topics in which I did not previously acknowledge.
	This is a woman who already sent this email, but sees that we're checking emails now, and she re-sent the email.
	Kylie, we're on to you, you fucking bitch.
	I like to believe I'm a very open-minded person and you are my high-heeled Ryan Bashing, blah, blah, blah.
	I can't begin to explain how refreshing it is to watch the two of you speak freely and honestly with a who, with a don't give a fuck what you think attitude.
	Thanks for all the shit you do, do.
	Okay.
	On a side note, I came across this website after watching the trail end of a show on some basic TV channel here in Michigan.
	I briefly checked out the website to see exactly what this organization had to say.
	See for yourself the audacity of their statements, such as when someone with the authority of a teacher describes the word and you are not in it, there is a moment of psychic disequilibrium, as if you looked into a mirror and saw nothing.
	The fuck?
	I'm so sick of this shit.
	You need to see it to be it.
	I watched a movie and I saw no one like me.
	My wife's a ho-chunk Slovak.
	No one is like her in the world except her brother.
	She doesn't bitch about how I don't see any Ho-Chunk Slovaks anywhere.
	Like, what about a fucking albino with a birthmark on his neck?
	I was watching James Bond.
	There's never been an albino James Bond.
	I can't relate.
	What about all the white nerds who moved to China?
	They don't see themselves in anything.
	I can't begin to explain how agitating the website is, especially by trying to bullshit the mental health slash medical professionals.
	P.S. Ryan, get your shit together when you're fucking with your fandangled face swap application.
	I'm tired of seeing you look yellow-faced or white-faced like a ghost.
	Nice impressions, though.
	So what is this website she's talking about?
	Genderspectrum.org?
	Correct.
	Let's see some of it.
	Gender spectrum.
	Is everyone as exhausted by this bullshit as I am?
	Yeah.
	By the way, no one in that little video gif is remotely trans.
	I'm in.
	Wait, I just want to see their videos.
	Can't we see some videos?
	We gotta log in and...
	Yeah, I want to see your stupid bullshit lame stories.
	Let's see the Asian kid.
	I read a cat story.
	I didn't see myself in it.
	Inaugural video, Kickstarter, send-off thing, whatever you want to call it, for Gender Spectrum's new video series about trans teens talking to their parents.
	My name is Kat.
	I'm an 18-year-old trans guy from Louisville, Kentucky, currently studying in Chicago, Illinois.
	Is that a guy?
	And he's just trans because it doesn't mean anything anymore?
	Or is it a chick who's taking testosterone?
	It's hard to tell with Asians.
	It's a cat.
	You know what I want to know?
	Hey, God, if you're watching, can you send us an email and tell us how many straight guys have pretended to be gay and even sucked dicks to try to blend into this whole new cool thing where queer is awesome and straight men suck?
	Like, how many of our young men are sitting there going, or even, oh, shit, wow, alrighty.
	Okay, that's a live one.
	Oh, boy, you're not even close to done.
	Is that all the way?
	That's just a tip.
	Wow.
	That is a lot more than I thought it was going to be.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
	How many of those are out there?
	And I think that's a guy.
	Because if there's a lot, then those guys are being raped.
	Our media, our bullshit invented trans thing is raping our young men.
	That's pretty bad, isn't it?
	You should know a couple things about me.
	So this is an extraordinary thing.
	So a couple quick facts about me.
	I'm adopted.
	I'm studying in Chicago for film.
	I'm a year and eight months on testosterone, one year, seven months.
	No, it's a woman.
	It has been two years and nine months since I came out to my mom, which is what I wanted to talk to you about today.
	That's what we're here for.
	We're talking about coming out.
	I'm here to talk to you about how this is anti-lesbian.
	Maybe this can help you come out.
	I'm not a lesbian.
	I'm a dude.
	This is what they do in the Middle East.
	They make fucking lesbians become men.
	And they make fags chop their dick off.
	This is going to be talking to the parents.
	I want to cut the skin off my forearm and make a face.
	Make a burrito.
	Oh, guys.
	Check this out.
	You're not going to fucking believe this.
	Can you people stop resending your fucking shit?
	I saw SH, I saw your thing on the butane bullet.
	We got a letter from God while we were talking.
	Our dreams came true.
	He says 72 men have done that.
	83 of you include by guys.
	Hmm.
	I thought it would be more than that.
	By the way, we've got a lot of people complaining about the app.
	Yes, we're on it.
	We're redesigning an update that's going to fix all these problems.
	You all have the same problem.
	We obviously are familiar with it.
	Sup, Gavin and Gayboy.
	I have a date Saturday.
	Any advice as to what to talk about?
	Well, I would just try to keep the date moving, Neil.
	And if you have no interesting stories, I cannot recommend lying enough.
	If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
	As my dad always said, bullshit beats brains, my boy.
	Now, we're not talking about saying you're a Marine and you fought in Afghanistan and the 3rd Battalion and some bullshit you fucking Googled.
	You went to Hollywood, the training camp, and not the other.
	What's the other training camp?
	Harris Island.
	By the way, San Diego.
	No stolen valor shit.
	Just stuff like, I saw a fucking homeless man this morning on a rascal.
	He had no pants on.
	I used to use this one all the time.
	It always did great.
	He had an American flag on, and he was like, fuck you.
	He kept yelling, fuck you, at people as he whipped by.
	And he was going, I didn't know those things could go so fast.
	I think it was going 40 miles an hour.
	Like it was whipping, faster than a bicycle could go.
	And eventually this woman was saying, slow down, slow down.
	And he said, fuck you, slow down.
	And he rammed at her and he sent her careening into a pile of garbage, which I think saved her life.
	And he kept going.
	The flag broke off, which I thought was ironic.
	And then here's another thing you do.
	When you're talking to chicks and you're on a date, try to extrapolate general truths.
	Like, are we giving these people too much airtime, too many rascals?
	Shouldn't they be in loony bins?
	Is the solution to all of this homelessness and shit and drug addiction?
	More mental institutions, like the one we used to have upstate, they used to call the human repair shop.
	Maybe that's the solution.
	Is it inevitable?
	You're going to see people whipping by on rascals in New York City?
	What do you think, honey?
	Like, it becomes a little Rubik's Cube you have to solve.
	And if she's like, I don't know, just dump her.
	Homeboys get that life.
	Say, this date's boring.
	I'm out of here.
	Just get up and leave.
	Here's another thing that happened to me.
	Before social media was so big, when I first moved to New York in the late 90s, I was going back and forth with this woman who was a publicist for the band that, you know, she wanted us to write about advice.
	And for whatever reason, you didn't used to say, send me a picture.
	I guess because that was rare and people didn't really take pictures of each other in the late 90s.
	And there was MySpace, not really Facebook.
	Anyway, I can't remember why I didn't ask for a picture.
	But I just assumed that She knew who I was, and she'd be pretty decent.
	And she worked with bands.
	She'd be kind of cool.
	So I was like, Well, I'm going to be done work soon.
	Why don't we go talk about it?
	And she said, Okay, we'll meet here.
	I met her at this bar in the East Village, and she looked like a breathtakingly gorgeous supermodel 90-year-old.
	90-year-old.
	90-year-old.
	She was probably 38.
	Hideous.
	Laugh lines that you could hide a gun in.
	Fucking crow's feet like her eyes had both intercepted grenades.
	Hideous.
	Did you fuck her?
	Fuck no.
	I was 20.
	I was 29.
	I would fuck her now and say, like, you got a lot of nerve showing up to meet me, you two.
	The band, you two.
	As I fuck the Edge and Bono and the blonde guy.
	Larry on drums.
	Larry something.
	Larry something on drums.
	And then the band.
	Hey, Larry something on drums.
	I'm sorry.
	That'd be funny.
	Bonus started forgetting their names.
	And I gotta say, thank you, Larry Something on drums.
	Top of the Marnant to you.
	You're fucking amazing.
	You're doing just fucking.
	What is it, Larry?
	What?
	And so I had to get out of the date.
	So what I did was, you can add this music to the story.
	So I can't say, oh my God, you're fucking hideous.
	You're obviously 38, but you look like you're 100.
	I'm not remotely interested in fucking you.
	I'm actually insulted that you agreed to this date because you've seen me.
	I'm famous.
	So what the?
	Are you out of your mind?
	Fuck you, you bitch.
	It's like one time I was driving my bicycle through the West Village and some guy was like, hello.
	And I look back and it's some hideous, bald, seven-year-old fag.
	And I wanted to circle around my bike and go, you think you could get me?
	Like, that's insulting.
	Anyway, aren't you embarrassed?
	This is back in the Next Tel flip phone days.
	So you couldn't really, if it was on vibrate, you couldn't really tell if you're getting a call.
	I mean, the other person couldn't tell.
	So I was like, yes?
	Oh, my God.
	That's great.
	So how long have you been working with these bands?
	Oh, they sound exciting.
	Sorry, hold on.
	Oh, for fuck's sake.
	It's my roommate.
	I didn't have a roommate at the time.
	Hello?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's not my problem, dude.
	You need to have your keys handled.
	No, I'm not going to come back and let you in.
	Are you out of your fucking mind?
	Go to your fucking girlfriend's house.
	Yeah.
	I don't care about meetings.
	No, no, no.
	You locked yourself up.
	It's your...
	Sorry.
	It's your problem.
	And then over the course of the fake date, which was now going to only go 10 minutes, I kept getting calls from this non-existent person and saying, dude, I don't have time.
	Look, I don't fucking.
	And then he eventually breaks me down.
	And I have to go leave to let him in, but I'll be right back.
	And let me get your number so I can find you.
	And maybe my apartment is like, we're in the East Village, so maybe it's on like Chelsea, like 23rd.
	It's going to be...
	It's going to be a little while before I can get back.
	I got to get up there, get the train, might get a taxi.
	What are you going to do?
	Who knows?
	I never spoke to her again.
	So anyway, the reason I bring that up is that's also date advice if she's fucking hideous or lame.
	But it is a woman.
	It does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick.
	The key is talking, laughing, fucking.
	Keep it going, champ.
	It's not a joke.
	That's an inside joke with my wife and I. We were watching some Spelling Bee documentary, and there's an Indian dad and his son, and he's like, pharmaceutical, and his son is like, P-H-A-R-M-E-C-U-T-I-C-A.
	And he's like, okay, keep it going, champ.
	So every time I hear keep it going, I have to say, champ.
	Keep it going, champ.
	My buddy, you got to do this, man.
	You got to get it going, dude.
	Oh, my gosh.
	You really got to get it rocking.
	And I were jumping all over.
	I want to be a woman.
	One time we were walking, me and my kids were walking back from their school, and it was like a two-mile walk in Brooklyn.
	And all the cab drivers are pachoderms.
	And this, every time, everyone I pulled over, I'd go, are you an off-duty buddy?
	Are you going, are you still rocking?
	Are you an off-duty buddy?
	And not one of them said, what's with the accent, asshole?
	Every single one went, oh, I'm an off-duty buddy.
	Every single, out of like seven.
	And it was one of my best memories of my kids is we just kept getting the off-duty buddy from every single guy.
	I suppose that's racist?
	Nowadays, yes.
	Back then, we understand.
	Hey, Gav and his mistress.
	Oh, God, I hope this is one of the few episodes my mistress watches.
	I was just thinking, these fucking liberals and Dems love having power, telling people what to do, and being in control.
	True.
	And if you notice, we don't really like that.
	We're more just like, you know what, like you have your guns, and if someone comes, shoot them and stuff, I don't want to get involved.
	Well, what should I do with this?
	I don't know.
	You handle it.
	You want to get the vaccine?
	Get the vaccine.
	Well, I'm trans.
	All right, you go be trans.
	Don't get involved with my kids and start changing bathrooms.
	But if you want to prance around your living room and address, by all means, go bananas.
	We don't want to get involved.
	They want to get involved.
	It's like I've always said about politics.
	It's two groups.
	People want to be left alone and people who won't leave them the fuck alone.
	Where are the people who want to be left alone?
	Exactly.
	It's amazing to me that they don't push having Kids more.
	What more power do you have over another person than being their parent?
	I have complete control over my children, and if I were evil enough, I could even influence or persuade their politics, gender, etc.
	That's a good point.
	And when they do have kids, you see them with the whole, this is my trans son, and this is my fucking multi-gender daughter.
	Kids don't have that option.
	We're raising our children to be gender-free.
	Well, it's like a handicap.
	Now they're victimized.
	They could be completely, what you would call privileged, but then they have a handicap kid.
	They're like, well, we have a kid who's trans.
	That protects them as a shield.
	Protects them.
	It's a shield.
	It's a protection.
	It's a shield.
	I'm of two minds about this, though, because I would love to see these idiots stop breeding and continue their ideology for more generations, but I also want them to breed and enjoy the most happiness that life has to offer.
	Yeah, I know what you're saying, dude.
	But I also just think, fuck you.
	Don't have kids.
	Fuck it.
	I'm of one mind now.
	This is him talking.
	Let's hope these fuckers don't realize ever.
	And in a decade or two, we can outbreed this stupidity.
	It seems like a better solution.
	Thanks.
	Ryan from Connecticut.
	All right.
	Yeah, I think one of the reasons that they don't have kids is because they're not really sincere about their totalitarianism.
	They just like saying that.
	Like if we said, okay, you get the South Bronx.
	Here's the energy department.
	Here's education.
	Who should we hire?
	You know that after like an hour, they go, I don't know, this is hard.
	Can't you figure it out?
	I just liked bitching about everyone ruining shit.
	I don't actually want to handle it.
	It's like a Mets fan bitching about the new management.
	They don't really want to run the Mets themselves.
	Okay, I think we're ready for calls now.
	This is a video drop from Will.
	What do you got?
	I have it right here.
	Okay.
	Turn it up.
	Cut me off again like that.
	You're going to have a serious problem.
	Touching my door is assaults.
	Touching my door is assault.
	Are you a fucking retard or what?
	Are you a fucking retard?
	You ever cut me off again like that?
	You're going to have a serious marketing problem.
	Touching my door is assaults.
	Touching my door is assaulting.
	Touching my door is assault.
	I don't think this guy's going to.
	Touching my door is assault.
	That's true, but your door has to press charges.
	You cannot press charges on behalf of your door.
	I don't know if an inanimate object can do that.
	It doesn't work that way.
	He touched me.
	I didn't want him to touch.
	Where did he touch you?
	On my door.
	You mean your pussy lips?
	No.
	Your mouth?
	Your asshole?
	No, the door of my car.
	Yeah.
	That's not a door on your body.
	You're not your car, you realize.
	He touched me on my front gate.
	You mean your foreskin?
	No, no, no.
	The front gate of my house.
	Yeah, the entranceway to my sidewalk.
	He rang my doorbell.
	He pushed your clit?
	No.
	No, no, no.
	My doorbell in my house.
	Okay, that's not.
	Did you say whorebell?
	Because then we can get this figured right the fuck out.
	If you rang your whorebell, I mean, he's fucked.
	Oh, my God.
	I feel so violated.
	What happened?
	Show me on the doll where he touched you.
	Outside the doll on the door of the car the doll was driving.
	Do you have a car doll?
	Barbie's for vet.
	Did you put the doll in a car and then open the door?
	In an old dude Dodge Ram.
	We've got cold.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Dear, my quest for an old car is getting worse and worse on a daily basis.
	I'm getting farther away from my goal, which is just, I have one goal.
	An aesthetically appealing car that runs and I don't have to worry about it.
	That's it.
	That's all I'm asking Earth.
	And it has been a three-month quest.
	I told you on Kumiya's show, I went and saw a 320IS or something from 82.
	It was a fucking nightmare.
	It was four mechanics.
	And even mechanics go, this car is challenging.
	The guy didn't want to sell it to me because he caught me going down a hill with the clutch down.
	And it was like if I was going to adopt a dog and I swatted it in the head.
	It's like, I don't know.
	I think that's fine, actually.
	It's not up for adoption anymore.
	You have the clutch down going down a hill.
	You touched the door.
	You assaulted my clutch.
	But I didn't even know you're not supposed to do that.
	But when a car's in, and even a motorcycle, if your car's in neutral or your motorcycle's in neutral, if it's stick shift or manual, you don't have control of the vehicle.
	Well, I can go right, left, and I can break.
	You have no control over the vehicle.
	I can break.
	Oh, you could, but that's not control of a vehicle.
	Going down a hill with second going, ah!
	Seems like I'd rather just sort of like.
	When I'm going down a hill with the clutchdown, everything's off the books.
	It's like paying cash.
	The IRS doesn't have to know.
	And then when we get down, back into third, whatever.
	Yeah.
	But that blew my like when I, I don't think I even could have said yes.
	Did you notice that at the end?
	Yeah.
	He was like selling me off it.
	He's like, he wanted you off the road.
	Danesh D'Souza.
	Dear Gavin, I heard yourself and Kumia on his show talking about Jags.
	You were correct about early Jags being unreliable.
	But there were a few golden years when Ford took over the company and fixed the notorious electrical issues.
	Thanks to that and Jaguar's bomb-proof 4.0 inline 6 engine, cars built between 1992 and 96 are some of the most reliable Jags ever made.
	Pull up a 1993 Jaguar.
	And they look like a Ford Taurus.
	If they look like shit, we're back to square one.
	The great thing about these years is they have the reliability and those amazing classic looks.
	They are superb to drive and with the luxurious wood and leather interior.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Check out the Jaguar XJ40.
	Those are beautiful.
	Those are not Ford Tauruses, Maddie.
	Oh, those are them.
	Oh, come on.
	Look at the black one there in the middle.
	That's a hunk.
	That's a hunk, a hunk, a burning love.
	Oh, come on.
	That's exactly what I'm looking for.
	Check out the XJ40, XJS Facelift, X300, and the XJR6, which is the supercharged version of the X300.
	Find a rust-free, well-looked-after example, and you'll be fine.
	Stay away from the cars with the V12 engines.
	They are amazing when they run.
	I got to put a special flag on this.
	They're amazing when they run, but they do have gremlins and can be a fucking nightmare to repair.
	Sorry if my grammar is wank.
	I'm a gas engineer, not a writer, bitch.
	Much love, John, from England.
	I get a lot of that from baby monsters.
	I would write this to Kevin, but he would correct me.
	Let me see more of these pics.
	Sure, sure.
	And you're still interested in the...
	Did we lose our studio audience?
	In the Rivian?
	I think we lost them.
	Yeah, those are fucking beautiful.
	That's exactly what I want.
	XJC.
	Although I wouldn't mind the leaping jag on the front.
	Yeah, that's just a hood ornament.
	I guess I could just glue it on.
	Oh, that one's got one.
	No, not that one.
	It also has to be black.
	Hey, baby monsters out there, can you help me find just anything, man?
	Anything.
	I don't actually care if it's a fucking Nissan.
	It just has to be weird and old, but not so old that it has no AC and no power steering and all that shit.
	Okay, now we're getting into a car rut.
	Gav's Next Car from Jason.
	Maybe if you need more style.
	Oh yeah, these people keep sending me to Hemmings.
	Wow, this is pretty cool.
	Look at this.
	The subject is Gav's Next Car, Ryan.
	Gotcha.
	There's two emails, but the first one has a gross green but beautiful car, $15,000.
	36,000 miles on it?
	And it's from what year is this?
	73?
	What?
	1973.
	1973 for $15,000.
	That's $36,000.
	Now people, I like, mine has to be black, but people go, if you paint it, you'll ruin the value.
	But what if I wrap it?
	You still have to do body work on it if you wrap it, because if there's any dents or paintings or things.
	I want to do body work.
	I don't want to fuck it.
	If I see rust, I want that fixed.
	Right.
	So then you just, when you want to sell it, you unwrap it.
	What are you showing me now, Ryan?
	This is one of them that says Gavin's.
	Gav's next to you.
	No, no.
	Shithead.
	The one from 5.41 p.m.
	Okay.
	Wait a minute.
	None of the shit that you've clicked on has anything to do with what I'm talking about.
	From Jason.
	Jason, 5.41 p.m.
	Maybe if you need some more style.
	Got it.
	Oh, okay.
	If you need some more style.
	God, you suck.
	Look at this beauty.
	And again, the reason I bring this up on my show is not to make you go find me a car, but just to say, why can't we have beauty in our lives anymore?
	If this was 1980, I would want a car by a major roadway just to look at the masterpieces that we're going by.
	Now, when we're at our bar and I look out the window, I see the exact same motherfucking car thousands of times a minute.
	Look at that.
	That's a fucking beaut.
	Wait, go back to the one you just showed.
	Show other pictures of that.
	One of the best Mercedes back in the day, probably late 80s, early 90s, was the 560 SEC.
	Very popular.
	Very high-end at the time.
	560 SEC?
	Yeah, 560 SEC.
	What's going on with your boy?
	He ordered some food.
	Oh.
	That's still pretty pretty.
	I think they started becoming ugly around 95.
	Like you look at Land Rovers, and that's around when they started to turn into bubbles.
	And I always turn into a fag when I'm buying these things.
	And they go, yeah, the fuel gauge is broken, but I just checked the mileage, and I know it can run like 150 miles.
	And then I go, oh, that's like my Bonneville, my Triumph.
	I just set the odometer.
	And they go, oh, yeah, is it fuel injected or a carburetor?
	And instead of going, I don't really know.
	I just bought it because I like the look of it.
	I just go, fuel injected.
	And he goes, really?
	What year is it?
	And now I don't, I think it's 2003, but because of my lie with the fuel injection of the carburetor, I don't want to prove I'm wrong.
	So I just go, I don't really know.
	Now I look even stupider than the guy who could have said he didn't know about the fuel injection of the carburetor.
	So I go, it's made to look like the old ones, but it's not.
	It's the new one.
	I'm getting disgusted just talking about myself.
	What a loser.
	And that's probably around the time when the guy's like, I don't want my car in this person's possession.
	This is the evolution of the Land Rover.
	Okay.
	This is what we, Ryan and I kept screaming.
	Obviously, that's ridiculous, right?
	That's fucking cool.
	Yeah, of course it is.
	But what we were talking about in the car is take that, all right?
	Take that.
	They wanted to reboot the Range Rover Defender.
	I don't think that's a Defender, but take one of those two, right?
	Verbatim, not even that one, the two you just showed, and fucking motherfucking trick out the interior like a Tesla with a huge screen and crazy buttons and cooling and heated seats and all that stuff,
	but make the exterior look like that.
	How is that so crazy?
	Why am I a nut?
	Look at this.
	24 cards with the coolest retro design.
	Okay, suck my penis.
	All right, there's more.
	The Bronco.
	That one looks promising.
	The original one looks like shit.
	Borderline acceptable.
	That's a children's toy that he plays with in the bath.
	That's whatever.
	I'm 51 years old, so I'm sure a lot of rich 21s like that.
	Mercedes-Benz G-Class.
	Yeah, that proves what I was just saying.
	You see the success of the G-Class, and you go, all right, I own Range Rover.
	Why don't I take that when we looked like that and trick out the interior and the engine, obviously, and all that shit?
	Like, it's so fucking...
	It's like SNL.
	Stop reading cue cards.
	You're the kings of fucking improv.
	Just riff.
	Have the basic, just like Kirby Enthusiasm, where they get the basic talking points.
	You can still have writers, by the way.
	That BMW is gorgeous.
	And just riff.
	Someone sent this in.
	This is a third generation from 94 to 2001.
	They made this.
	That's perfect.
	That's third generation 7 series.
	Wait, no, that one you just had in the top?
	Top left?
	No, the one next to it.
	That's exactly what I'm looking for.
	It's classy.
	It's nice.
	And those, if they're above 1990, you don't have to wrap them up and hide them in the garage all winter.
	But these 80s cars, they're steel on the bottom.
	That's gay.
	That's a Doctor Who enemy, bad guy.
	No, that's fucking lame.
	Oh my God, that's embarrassing.
	That's a weird divorced Puerto Rican.
	No, I don't want that.
	You can just prop open the door with that wood stick there.
	Maddie?
	Fuck off.
	Sure, whatever.
	Suck my dick.
	Fake muscle cars.
	Stupid European reboots.
	Although, wait, go back.
	No, whatever.
	I'm pretty impressed, though, that they got that adventurous.
	Go back with that thing.
	You got to admit, that's pretty ballsy.
	That's a Nissan?
	Wow.
	Looks like a freeze out of this.
	If that's a new car.
	It hails from the late 1980s.
	Okay, well, then you're cheating.
	I thought it was modern cars that are like reboots.
	Yeah.
	80s.
	Jimmy.
	That's cheating.
	That came out in like 87.
	Yeah, that's cheating.
	The only thing I would want to see here is if it was cool cars from 2021.
	All right, boring.
	We're boring people.
	The evolution of the Land Rover.
	Gorgeous, breathtaking.
	What's that?
	Shitty.
	What is that?
	That is terrible.
	What year is that?
	That's when they went to shit.
	2017.
	That's also boring.
	Not horrible.
	That sucks.
	That's when it's starting to get lame.
	2008.
	That's just embarrassing.
	Like, if you gave that Land Rover to me for free, that blue one, I would put it on cars.com the next day to sell.
	It's quiet.
	I don't want that.
	It's convertible.
	I hate convertibles.
	A convertible truck?
	Fuck off.
	What do you put in the back there?
	A Christmas tree?
	That's going for like a Ford Explorer type deal.
	Lick my balls.
	Go fuck yourself.
	Hey.
	That's pretty.
	What's that?
	Last Land Rover Defender rolled off production in 2016.
	What?
	Retaining the same classic shape and basic design, modernized with some creature comforts.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	This is exactly what I said they should do, and it looks like they did it.
	I don't remember seeing that.
	The last one rolled off in 2016.
	Okay.
	Look up the 2016 Land Rover Defender in other pictures.
	Something's not right here.
	Go back up, though, Ryan.
	2016 Land Rover Defender Google Image.
	Because that looks really pretty.
	It does.
	It looks like a Bentley or something.
	Looks very boxy, like what you want.
	Yeah.
	That's pretty recent.
	I remember us looking at pictures of this and you were like, oh, cool.
	And then you went to go see it.
	Then I test drove the 2021 for $100,000 and went suck my dick.
	But that's a really cool-looking car.
	Let's see if they got any for sale here.
	But I already have a Land Rover.
	I want to get that like old Merc.
	Anyway, we're getting lost in my Amazon wish list.
	Let's take some calls.
	Look at that!
	Fuck you!
	Fuck you!
	Looks like Robocop's helmet.
	That's a baby in the bathtub going the back of it looks iron.
	That one sucks.
	Yeah, that's the new Defender.
	The back looks okay.
	What about these Rivians that the guy was telling you about?
	That look like that.
	These Rivians, it's electric.
	It doesn't really kill your bill.
	It's like having an expensive fridge in your house.
	I know.
	It's totally silent, but there's no engine.
	The engines are on the tires.
	So it's nothing but space.
	Like the front is a trunk, the back is a trunk.
	And because the engines are airtight, you can't flood it.
	You could drive into the ocean.
	What happens is when the water gets up to like the top window, it just becomes buoyant and starts floating.
	But if you threw a bunch of cinder blocks in there, you could drive underwater.
	It's about, it's $58K, but you get a $10,000 tax grant.
	So it's $58K.
	I've never heard of it.
	Brand new.
	The first run were all blue.
	It's a bastard year.
	Don't buy it.
	Well, I know.
	I hate green shit.
	But I don't know.
	It seems kind of cool.
	And it's not ugly.
	Definitely bogus looking, but it's not in a bad way.
	What?
	800 cents.
	It looks weird as fuck.
	And not classic at all.
	It looks very futuristic, but in a good way.
	But no, but as far as modern cars, actually, that is pretty fucking...
	It looks like a Disney character.
	Yeah, like a talking car.
	That's the friend of the...
	Did I get brainwashed by that mechanic we were talking to?
	I mean, the pickup truck's pretty dope.
	And it has that...
	Here's that seat he was talking about.
	Like, what the fuck?
	That's the tunnel he was talking about where you can just pull it out.
	Yeah, it's just because there's nothing in it.
	Well, there's nothing in it, right?
	So they got nothing but little expansion.
	There's no.
	And if your house goes, you lose power, they can just reverse the power from the truck back into your house, and now it's a generator.
	And the horsepower is pretty nuts on it from what I've seen.
	It was like 835.
	That's pretty good.
	It's like 0 to 60 in three seconds?
	What was the 82 BMW we're looking at?
	It was like 50 horsepower or something?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, it was 80 or 50.
	It was like 0 to 60 in 20 minutes.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You can feel it.
	All right, let's take some Khazals.
	My bean is.
	All right.
	We have on the line.
	Oh, you have to turn on your little Huzima Whatser.
	Do I or just Maddie?
	No, I think mine was on and then died, but I'll try it.
	So you still haven't figured out how to make this work on Skype?
	It can't.
	I don't believe you.
	You cannot feel it.
	It's my penis.
	I love Ryan.
	He gets confronted with a major problem.
	He's like, can't be done.
	Nope.
	It's impossible.
	Chino, you've got a nope.
	Hi, Christopher Columbus.
	I'd like you to try to see if you can get to the Caribbean.
	Nope, can't be done.
	Can't be done.
	It's too far.
	No, they wanted him to go to America.
	He went to the Caribbean.
	So if you're telling me to go to America, I can get you Caribbean.
	Okay.
	This is Caribbean.
	Get me to the Caribbean.
	This is the Caribbean.
	Oh, okay.
	With these mics.
	We got show me the painter.
	I'm here to talk about curvy woman.
	Is this true?
	Hey, Gavin.
	Uhuru.
	Uhuru.
	Hold for a second.
	How's Outer Space coming along?
	Yeah, hold for a second.
	This happens.
	It happens.
	Ryan fucks up his job.
	That happens.
	Welcome, host.
	You are now in the host room.
	Oh, here we go.
	1998 Chevy Tahoe.
	This is kind of the cool thing about this show, selfishly for me, is when I talk about something I want, like I want to move out of here, I get 7,000 emails, and then I make a topographical map of all the places where they say it's good to move to.
	And North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Greenhill, it seems to be the spot.
	One second, sir.
	Okay.
	Hello, can you hear me?
	Yes, I can.
	How you doing?
	Hey, what's going on?
	How you doing?
	Hello, Mom Line.
	Yes, can you hear us?
	Hello?
	Oh, I got a spinning wheel.
	Hello, Ryan.
	You got me?
	Hold on.
	Wow, this is quality entertainment.
	So this guy's suggesting a Chevy Tahoe from 1998.
	It looks fine, but I got an SUV.
	I want a little sedan that is beautiful.
	David, can you hear me?
	Yeah, can you hear me?
	Fucking Ryan, can you just not spend your mornings doing nothing and spend them fixing this problem?
	There's nothing consistent about any of this.
	Yes, there is.
	It never works.
	That's pretty consistent.
	Mm.
	Well, at least we have a cow's two cents.
	How we doing there, fuckheads?
	Nothing?
	Okay.
	Painter, you're on the line.
	Hello?
	That might be a hint thing.
	Here's Vic.
	Hello, Vic?
	Hello, Vic?
	Are you calling the show where half of the guys are fucking idiots?
	Or a third?
	This is awesome, Rye Guy.
	Awesome.
	Remember the time you showed up here at work and you went to buy Halloween supplies?
	Because you said, I got nothing else to do.
	And I understand that this is way over your head, but you bring in someone like Ray or Garrett or fucking Tony Sereno or whatever his name was.
	I want to hear your opinion.
	Thank you.
	All right, there you go.
	There we go.
	It's fixed.
	Ready to rock.
	Hello?
	Hey, Gavin.
	It's Joey.
	Hey, Joey.
	What's going on?
	Hey, real good.
	Wanted to hear your opinion real quick on curvy girls.
	Not all of us are into stick-figure women.
	Some of us like them with a little meat on their bones.
	And I wanted to hear what your thoughts are on women that got a little extra.
	Specifically, a gal named Gina Carano that starred in the Manchester team.
	I think she's a spongy.
	Fantastic.
	I told Josh Denny, who knows her, to make it clear that I'd love to eat her out.
	And he's like, okay, I'll put that in the list of 7 million people who have told me exactly that.
	Here's the deal with chubby ladies.
	You just have to pay your waste tax.
	So to be specific, obviously, like, this is kind of ideal, right?
	Yeah, for sure.
	This is still workable.
	We're still in.
	This, okay, if it's a one-night stand, and I'm not even saying anything, but if we're getting married, I wouldn't mind a slight reduction.
	And then when we're getting to this kind of stuff, now we're like, alrighty, this is not great.
	And then, of course, the biggest problem is as women get older, they get fat and they lose weight, and they have that weird gunt that hangs down over their belt like a tit.
	And that's a deal breaker.
	But like, from this to this, I think we're good to go.
	No, I agree with you.
	I prefer her to any woman with less weight.
	I would say Gina Carano is the perfect body weight for a woman.
	Hey, that's excellent.
	We agree on that one then.
	Hey, last question for you.
	Do you think you'll ever do cameos again?
	Oh, so what we decided to do with cameos, I'm glad you brought that up.
	I'm working out with Zenoa.
	I just figured the other day, fuck Cameo.
	Like, if you send me proof that you sent her $75, then you can also send her the parameters.
	You can email me the parameters with a picture.
	Actually, let's do it right now.
	So her Venmo is ProudLioness, I believe.
	Let me just double-check that.
	Okay.
	Sure.
	It is.
	Yeah.
	So her Cash App is ProudLioness.
	Her PayPal is ProudLioness, all one word.
	And Lioness has two S's.
	ZK.
	So let me just repeat this.
	Cash app, two separate words, Proud Lion S. Proud is one word.
	Lion S is Lion ESS.
	Her PayPal is at ProudLioness, all one word, Lion ESS, and then ZK.
	So send her $75.
	Send me proof that you sent her $75 with your write-up of what you want, and I'll fucking suck Ryan off.
	Hell yeah.
	Hey now.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Let's go.
	Hey, Dad.
	Happy birthday.
	All right.
	Gavin, I like you more than a friend.
	Thanks, man.
	All right.
	And that guy got two things.
	We don't usually give guys two things, but he was our 37th caller and the only one we could hear.
	You guys calling about Montreal.
	What do you got?
	Mount Real?
	Might be listening to the radio.
	Let's get this guy, Korea.
	Put him on mute.
	Hey.
	Korea in death.
	Welcome to the world's worst call-in show where we can't hear you and you can't hear us.
	Bonjour.
	Gabon.
	Bonjour, comon sava.
	Suvien de Montreal.
	Coix?
	He's listening in the background.
	What is it, sir?
	Oh, now he's just fucking with us.
	He's laughing at us.
	Maybe.
	Or maybe he's laughing at something else and he can't hear us, Ryan.
	Maybe.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Not really, but yes.
	Okay, y'all yell.
	I was just going through the archives and I just saw like the first episode you did with uncensored and you mentioned Slavoy Žisek.
	That guy where he's always like he has torettes and he's always grabbing his nose.
	Have you like looked into him?
	Slavoy Živek.
	Is he a funny Greek guy?
	Yeah, well, he's like something.
	He's like a Slavvy you're talking about.
	What was that?
	Slavy.
	Yeah, something like that.
	Yeah, he's super funny.
	He's like always talking like this and rubs his art and always scratch his nose.
	Oh wait, maybe that's not who I'm thinking of.
	I'm thinking of a comedian named Slavy who is Greek and he's bald.
	He's got a mustache.
	He's missing a tooth.
	And he's really funny.
	Ryan, look up S-L-A-V-O-J.
	Slavoy.
	And it's like, remember that?
	D-I-Z-E-K.
	Yeah, I remember.
	Wait a minute.
	Is this the guy who wrote Death of the West?
	Oh, this is...
	No, this is...
	Yeah, we talked about him many times.
	He's a guy who defends communism all the time.
	Yeah, but he's like super anti-woke.
	Yep.
	Yep, we're familiar with him.
	I don't like that he's pro-communist, but whatever.
	That was a boring call.
	Thanks for tuning in.
	Hey, I got a letter here.
	The letters seem to be more interesting tonight.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan, check out these clips to hear Hitchens just decimate our friend Eddie Gloud in attacking his ingratiating tone and extreme vagueness and imprecision.
	Dude, I fucking have not seen this, but the other day we were talking about, I was watching Eddie Gloud and I thought, can't Christopher Hitchens be alive and be in a room with him to just take him down?
	And lo and behold, apparently it has happened.
	Thank you, God.
	Go along as far as I can see.
	It means there's white noise.
	White noise.
	White noise, what you're talking to me.
	Absolutely meaningless.
	Now, that's not an argument.
	Let's be very clear.
	I'm just saying that nothing you say, nothing, I just have to say that I make my living by scrutinizing words.
	That's what I do.
	Not a single thing you just said made a word of sense to me.
	And I don't think it would have written down either.
	I just basically quoted to you coming out of the Oxford text of Albert Rabbiteau's slave religion.
	And it changes haven't you?
	No, no, I want to be very clear that a good argument is a great argument.
	And part of what we've seen here is that when we have the opportunity to engage in reasoned debate, intelligent conversation, we slip into ad hominem arguments.
	Part of what I was trying to suggest is that they engage in interpretation.
	They do certain kinds of work that will allow them to bring critique to bear on other interpretations that they disagree with.
	How many are meaningless?
	Bear the brunt.
	None of those words, however arranged, had any content to me.
	I'm very sorry to have to say it.
	Hold it right there, but...
	You would not pass my course.
	I'm not even disagreeing with you, let alone being at home in it.
	I don't understand a word you're saying, and it would be no better on the page.
	Try this.
	What Eddie Cloud says is not wrong.
	It's not English.
	He just says America is not alone in its sins, but it is alone in its fear to recognize them.
	And my family didn't have to do that because we didn't have to bear the brunt of the prejudice within our community.
	It just sounds, it's like gobbledygook.
	It's almost like going to Latin Mass.
	Like you hear the sounds and you go, I kind of get the vibe, but I don't speak that language.
	Sounds like glib religious babble to me, absolutely.
	Let me talk to this from the website.
	I hate that I have to take the side of the atheist against the Christian in this.
	And the question is to you, Christopher.
	For the best atheist and the worst Christian.
	But he says you're holding the high ground of reason and science against assault by superstitious people.
	Okay, let's jump over to 325.
	We passed it.
	Oh, we did?
	Yeah.
	We started with 225.
	We listened for a whole minute?
	Yeah, we're at 409.
	I was listening to that for a minute.
	Correct.
	Wow.
	You know something is quality when it feels like five seconds.
	That's like my lovemaking to my wife.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	You know, when you're fucking a woman and she tickles your balls during intercourse, like from behind, reaches around, you know that's actually insulting, right?
	Because it obviously feels so good, but what she's doing is she's hitting the fast forward button.
	And going to the end.
	Like I'm sitting there thinking of my dad naked being attacked by dogs, trying to disconnect my brain from my penis, and then you go and stimulate me.
	All right, we have another seven pumps left.
	I hope you like quick endings.
	30 rapid.
	Because I had about 30 in me until you started playing your ball games.
	Balls.
	And you're not about to say no, but it's like, why are you fast forwarding to the end of the movie?
	Are you not enjoying this film?
	It's mean.
	It's hurtful.
	You have hurt me.
	And it's weird because it feels good, but it also hurts.
	It feels good on the outside, but it feels bad on the inside.
	Erin's on the line.
	Sure, she is.
	Sure he is.
	Hello, Aaron.
	Hello, Aaron.
	Hey, I'm here.
	How are you, Gavin?
	I am fine.
	Hey, it actually fucking worked.
	Awesome.
	First off, Maddie, thanks for adding me on all the social media shit.
	That's super fucking cool.
	But the reason I'm calling is I think I'm going to get fired.
	And I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Why?
	So, so I'm being stubborn and not getting the vaccine.
	And I really wanted your advice on this because I have a good job.
	My wife gets to be a stay-at-home mom.
	My kid is living a really good life.
	And I just feel fucking opposed to it.
	Sure.
	And I just, I really wanted your advice because, you know, a bunch of my friends have gotten it.
	I'll be one of only two people where I work that haven't gotten it.
	And I'm just, I'm really torn about it.
	Well, you know, we always talk about.
	And honestly, I haven't.
	Oh, go ahead.
	Go ahead.
	Like it's this big ultimatum where you go, fuck you, boss.
	I'm not getting the vaccine.
	And you can do what you want to me.
	I don't care.
	But there's a gray area where you just, and like America fought the British.
	They didn't lose many people.
	I think it was like 40,000 or something.
	And they won the war.
	The English went home with their tails between their legs.
	Canada didn't fight the British.
	They just sort of went, meh, eh, eh.
	And they kind of just bored them away until they left.
	The Queen is still on the money, but Britain has no power in Canada.
	And as a Canadian, I want to give you another option of just like, yeah, I got it.
	I got it.
	Okay.
	We need to see your ID.
	We need to see your card.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I'll bring that.
	Oh, did I not bring it?
	Oh, oh.
	And then you come in the next day.
	I need your card, Aaron.
	Yeah.
	Unfortunately, that's not really an option because I can't really tell you much other than that, but it's not really an option.
	Oh.
	I really like that option of just torturing them and saying, I gave it.
	I gave it to Sandy.
	And then Sandy, okay, I'll go talk to her.
	And then I spoke to Sandy.
	She didn't get it.
	What?
	Like, can't you just, you're going to get fired, but you might as well go out in a blaze of torture.
	Yeah, well, the only good thing is my wife is 100% behind my decision and is, in fact, encouraging me on it, which makes her just the fucking one of the best wives in the fucking world.
	Yeah, that's fantastic.
	Dude, Kylie Irving just said goodbye to $136 million.
	If this is important to you, then lose your fucking job.
	As much as, like, I don't give a fuck about the NBA.
	I've got family.
	I've got friends that watch it.
	I could give two shits less about the NBA.
	But when I saw that, I was like, you know what?
	I've heard that guy's a piece of shit from all of my friends, but good for him.
	Like, at least he's standing up for what he fucking believes in.
	Exactly.
	And I would feel the same way if he got fired because he was too pro-vaccine.
	I would respect that you have the courage of your convictions.
	Yeah.
	So if you can't follow my idea and bore the living shit out of them until they go bald trying to find your fucking card, then lose your job.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Hey, can I ask you one more thing, even though I'm not allowed two things?
	Okay, fine.
	I met a guy that said that he was at your wedding one time.
	What's his name?
	I wish that I could remember, but he owns a bar in a certain city in Texas, and he said that you fucking hate him.
	And he had your phone number, but he said that if he called you, that you would get fucking pissed, and you might just fly down to Texas and fucking kill him because he may or may not have been flirting with your wife at the wedding.
	No, he didn't flirt at my wife at the wedding.
	He flirted with my wife when he was in my home.
	And that did not go well for him.
	And I'll spare you more details.
	But yeah, I would avoid that guy at all costs.
	He's a fucking con.
	Thanks for calling.
	And that brings me to an interesting epiphany I had recently.
	I wanted to talk to you about this, Maddie.
	Sure.
	You know, I spend so much money on guns and cameras and all these what-ifs.
	And I've got a variety of weapons under my bed.
	I've got the rifle if we're really going to do this.
	I've got the machete if it's just kind of like near the window.
	I've got the baseball bat if it's on the front lawn.
	There's a whole degree there.
	And I was thinking about all these external enemies.
	And yes, they got like Antifa got my brother fired.
	They put my friends in jail for four years.
	But did Antifa really put my friends in jail for four years?
	Antifa refused to press charges.
	They said, fuck you to the cops.
	It was the Soros-appointed DA, Mark Dwyer and Steinglass and Cyrus Vance who did all that, right?
	That's not really on topic, though.
	What I realized this week is when I think of real serious damage and attacks on my immediate family, it's all from within the friend circle.
	Like Ian Mackay says of Minor Threat, isn't it nice you don't have to look far to find the ones who leave the deepest scar?
	Absolutely.
	Like it was my friends that hit on my wife.
	It was my fucking friends like Vedvice that got that fired me from vice or ousted me from vice, whatever.
	You know, it was my friends that turned a blind eye when my son wasn't getting drafted for baseball because he was my son and allowed it to happen.
	Fucking you.
	I don't know how much I can say, but in certain clubs, certain guys that you would have called your brothers.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Exactly.
	Well, it's called jealousy and envy.
	Right, but we're all like, we're all like, we sit here and talk about Antifa and Antifa talks about how all cops are bastards, but no one kills more Antifa than Antifa.
	Like the pressure that that guy, I always forget his fucking name, Noah.
	Remember, Rest in Power?
	That guy, he was encouraged by Antifa to get involved in the J-20 protest.
	He got in over his head.
	He was facing felony charges.
	He killed himself.
	Now, obviously.
	Nathan Hose.
	Nathan Hose.
	So he's responsible for his own actions, obviously.
	But Powboys didn't fucking kill him.
	Prowboys didn't tell him to commit vandalism when Trump was elected.
	His fellow Antifa brothers did.
	And he looks like a sad heroin addict who would be in over his head if you asked him to help you move a table.
	But they thought, fuck it, he makes good human fodder.
	Let's throw him into the mix.
	And no one kills more Muslims than Muslims, right?
	You look at Pakistan.
	Am I boring you?
	Checking your watch?
	No, no, no.
	Somebody sent a message.
	So I really, I had this epiphany this week with all these security cams in my house facing outside and facing the sides of the house, the back of the house with the sensor.
	I don't want to get too into my personal security system, but it's pretty intense.
	Plate readers, all this shit I spent all this money on, and I'm constantly checking.
	And then when I think about the real attacks in my life.
	It have been close people.
	It's been inside my home with people invited in.
	Like fucking JL.
	They come to you with smiles.
	They come at you with smiles.
	JL had been a close friend for years.
	He comes to our house.
	The next thing you know, we're beating him up twice.
	And he keeps coming back.
	Blood.
	I'm mopping up blood in the front room of my home.
	Just leave.
	Just go somewhere else.
	That's not Antifa blood I was mopping up.
	That's good friend blood.
	Ooh, that's a hate crime right there.
	Really?
	You never know.
	Like, when did it turn forward?
	I don't know.
	Maybe he was mad that I lived in a big house and he saw my wife and kids and he's alone or something.
	I don't know.
	That's the thing.
	The greatest relationships I had with people in the club I was in, Hell's Names and stuff like that, were people that understood that I didn't want anything that they had.
	I didn't want their money.
	I didn't want anything.
	Just their respect and loyalty and friendship.
	That's it.
	Well, the silver lining of this cloud is after every betrayal, you sort of cull the herd.
	Right.
	You separate the wheat from the chaff.
	And then the new ones that remain are the ride or die niggas where you could pull up to their house at four in the morning with a dead prostitute in the trunk.
	And the guy would go, are you fucking kidding me?
	What are you doing?
	You go, we got to fix this.
	Oh, my God.
	All right.
	And they come out with like rubber boots on and a trench coat in their PJs with a shovel.
	That's it.
	And they're like, here we go.
	Jesus H. Christ.
	I cannot believe you got me in this.
	I'm not going to be spinning a knife.
	Okay.
	I mean, look at you.
	He's pimping.
	But it was a real epiphany that I spent so much time worrying about these external enemies when if I were to list like all the betrayals sort of gives the ending away.
	But all the bad things that have happened to me, like that caller who was talking to my ex-friend in Texas, like hitting on my wife, that's as bad as it gets.
	You're trying to sabotage my marriage.
	You're trying to get my kids wouldn't have parents if we got divorced.
	Like that's as that's my when I have guns, it's because I don't want anyone going near my wife.
	Right.
	And you did that in my home.
	Run through a motherfucker face.
	So yeah, it's good to have cameras.
	It's good to have guns.
	It's good to be wary of outsiders, but you got to be wary of insiders too.
	Well, I'll be dipped in Shit.
	It's a difficult situation.
	It's a very difficult situation.
	Never happened in the States.
	Never.
	It did happen in the States, Tony.
	They all happened in the States.
	It did.
	A hundred percent of the bad things that have happened to me have happened in the States.
	Oh, oh, oh, that's so disgusting.
	It's disgusting, but um, who we got here?
	Spooky.
	Max, location for living, this man wants to speak about.
	What's going on, guys?
	Go on, Max.
	Hey, so I heard you recently talk about moving us to the Carolinas.
	And I actually went on a road trip and checked out a couple cities in the Carolinas this weekend.
	And I'm from New York City originally, been living in Pennsylvania a couple years.
	And yeah, checked out Florida, checked out the Carolinas and stuff.
	And honestly, I think you'd be pretty bored in the Carolinas.
	And I checked out like all the main cities, Charleston, Greenville.
	I mean, they're definitely more conservative.
	But I think a better strategy, and I call this the turtle strategy, is you live in Pennsylvania, which is still pretty damn MAGA.
	I mean, all the billboards here are pretty MAGA.
	I love the Poke-Nose.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So I think that would be better.
	And that way you're still only an hour and a half from New York City.
	And hell, I even saw a billboard earlier today with Joe Biden dressed as a Taliban.
	And it said, make the Taliban great again.
	So it's definitely...
	Yeah, but why do I need to be near New York's fucking city?
	I was just there yesterday.
	Junkies everywhere.
	Fucking shit on the streets.
	Vomit everywhere.
	And just bizarre smells every 20 feet.
	And you're constantly...
	No headphones allowed.
	You're constantly like, is that guy trying to shove me into the tracks?
	Yeah, I mean, I mean, boxing stance.
	I still think that you're going to be bored in the Carolinas because I'm telling you, like, it's definitely cool, but it's nice to at least have the option, in my opinion.
	How old are you?
	I'm 26.
	Yeah.
	Dude, I'm 51.
	I like the driving range, old man bars with ex-cons and ex-cops, and the boxing gym.
	And I like the boxing gym early in the day when it's only people in their 50s who have a lot of trouble delivering a jab that would hurt a baby.
	That makes sense.
	And thanks for calling.
	Generation gap.
	Well, you know, look at Nick DiPaolo.
	He still has his edge.
	He's still full of piss and vinegar, and he moved to paradise.
	He loves it in Georgia.
	No, but he was coming from way the fuck up upstate.
	I should say way the fuck up Westchester, not upstate.
	He wasn't in fucking Gouverneur, but he was in like not even Croton on Hudson, but like when Westchester sort of stops being Westchester on the west side of Peakskill.
	Yeah, that kind of stuff.
	So he's already a rural guy.
	I don't think he drinks that much.
	Yeah, we don't need much.
	I just don't want to look out.
	This is what I said many months ago.
	I don't want to walk out my door or walk down the street and be looking at people who hate this country.
	That's depressing.
	A bunch of fucking ginos, Jews in name only, who think they're not white and hate white people for stealing this land that they have a $2 million house on.
	I'm sick of looking at them.
	You know, when Tucker first got attacked, he said, I'm not fucking moving.
	Fuck these people.
	I moved here when I was 12.
	This is my town.
	You think you can make me leave just by yelling outside my door once?
	And then like a year later, he goes, I don't like these people.
	Fuck you.
	I hate you.
	I don't want to live around them.
	And that's how I feel.
	Like I look at them and I just think, you're brainwashed.
	You're in a cult.
	I don't enjoy your face.
	It's embarrassing.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	They're going to be a tic-tac.
	No, I'm just kidding.
	It could be a box of tic-tacs.
	Oh, Lord.
	Dude, that guy needs a beard and a hat really bad.
	That's a monster.
	I'll pay for it.
	Okay, he must be drunk.
	Imagine watching that.
	No.
	I can't.
	Couldn't.
	Who are these people?
	We have.
	Calling about the rock rap song.
	Wait, rock and rap have merged?
	A smash app?
	That must have happened this afternoon because that's never occurred to anyone before.
	Gavin, you ever heard the rock rap song?
	There's a rock rap song?
	Oh, yeah, man.
	Oh, my God.
	Finally, it's like, you put your peanut butter in my chocolate.
	No, you put your chocolate in my peanut butter.
	It's called rock rap.
	Is it the soundtrack for Judgment Night?
	No.
	No, but if you just like YouTube it, it's available.
	Ryan could find it.
	The people need to hear your commentary.
	This is going to suck, but okay.
	Rock rap song.
	Oh, The Rock Rap Song.
	Oh, that's different.
	Twain John.
	Okay, let's check it out.
	Thank you for calling.
	So The Rock has started rapping.
	Russo, my brother, Tech Nine.
	You know, I've been thinking about something.
	I've been talking about it.
	Wait, wait, wait, stop.
	Why is he in Fast and Furious every time he opens his fucking mouth?
	He could be ordering Uber Eats, and he's in Fast and Furious.
	Hey, I want a cheeseburger with fries.
	For my family.
	We're family here.
	Finally, the rock.
	Yes, we do.
	I need to run.
	I know, you know.
	We talked about this.
	Let's give the people more.
	We gotta give the people more.
	We gotta jump a fucking Chevy Malibu over a cliff.
	This is gonna be painful.
	Spirit of a lion destroys my soul.
	Give it up to Zionist.
	Oh my god, I'm already cringing.
	Give it up to Zion.
	So he's doing a Polynesian thing too?
	Like he's making it hookah, hookah, taka.
	The waka-chaka.
	Not Maori, but whatever is in his Polynesian area.
	The Maori is of Polynesia.
	I don't trust the guy who can't grow.
	Huka, naka, taka, maka, naka.
	He has a disorder where he can't grow abs.
	Those aren't abs?
	No.
	I mean, well, no.
	What kind of faggot looks at the rock's body and goes, I wish he had more abs.
	No, it's just a defect.
	I mean, because you look at that.
	You're a fag fact.
	No.
	I'm not.
	How are your abs?
	It's like when you're...
	How's your abs?
	Let's see your abs.
	If you're a skateboarder, let's see your abs.
	I don't have abs.
	I'm bulking.
	I don't have abs.
	I'm bulking.
	You're a homo.
	Look at your little bear Chippendale's chest with your fucking penny nipples.
	I need to stop weird.
	Yeah, I know.
	Okay, what do we got?
	Inside my lobe.
	It's safe.
	You don't wanna be in a tussle.
	You don't wanna be in a tussle.
	Yeah, you don't wanna be a top gorilla, dropping nil to pop the kills.
	I'm better than the low brave.
	When you wake up in that wet blood, ain't no way you're about to get up.
	How you know that I tacked?
	That's five to the girls.
	This is a guy who does it for a living, right?
	He can do the fast rapping talk.
	Let's hear the rock get involved.
	He's laid the groundwork.
	He's got the chorus, the verse.
	We're not ready for the rock yet.
	There we go.
	They gon' take a piss off.
	They gon' rumble.
	They don't take away.
	It's about drive, it's about power.
	We stay hungry, we devour.
	Put in the work, put in the hours, and take what's ours.
	Like in some morning in my veins, my culture banging with strange.
	I change a game, so what's my motherfucking name?
	Rob!
	What they're gonna get, though?
	Desecration, defamation.
	You wanna bring it to the masses?
	Face to face, now we escalating.
	When I have to put boost asses, mean on you, like a dream when I'm rumbling, you're gonna scream, mama.
	So bring drama to the case.
	Is this an ad for poking bars?
	Strange music?
	Yes, correct.
	Thank you, Brother Tech 9.
	No, no, thank you.
	Thank you, Terra Mana.
	Terra Mana.
	One take.
	That's a rap.
	Oh.
	Face off.
	Ground of the gods?
	Face off.
	Face off.
	That was rough, man.
	That was a wild ride.
	Things are so cringe.
	Oh, yeah, it's the Arnold Schwarzenegger rap.
	Made a trip to the United States.
	But he became a cringe.
	You have to fight, you have to get down, you have to do it.
	That's still way cringier.
	Superstar.
	I'm a superstar.
	I'm so sick of people not recognizing I'm a superstar.
	The one but who if you believe?
	Okay, that's enough.
	We might talk about this.
	Before we begin, we publish new comments.
	Singers that rap.
	I mean, actors that rap.
	Break some rules, but not the law.
	Okay, shut up.
	Shut up.
	Shut up.
	Just take a call.
	This is infuriating.
	I'm a superstar.
	You gotta work hard.
	Do your homework.
	Brush your teeth.
	Are you crazy?
	Don't forget to live your dreams and put them in the beach.
	Do another thing if you want to.
	Check the oil in your car.
	Make sure all the fluids are up to snatch.
	Don't get stuck on the road.
	Don't fuck around.
	Be nice to your mom.
	And give your phrase.
	What are you idiot?
	Treat your father with respect.
	He worked hard for you.
	Don't curl.
	Smash the subscribe.
	Nate needs advice.
	I hope it's not Nate Ober.
	Come on, man.
	This is all you.
	Go ahead.
	Follow your dreams.
	Ask me a question.
	I'll answer it.
	Then you can know all the stuff you do and be a successful guy.
	Don't listen to the radio.
	Talk into the phone.
	All right, Gavin.
	This ties into what you were talking about a little bit ago.
	What do you got?
	So, five years ago, I came up with a business and a brand.
	And I am like a creative type, so I knew I needed a salesman.
	So I found this kid.
	He's like a firecracker.
	He can sell ice to an Eskimo.
	And I partner up with him and start this business.
	Everything goes awesome for five years.
	We're like killing it.
	We're like the hottest shit in our city.
	There's a lot of new people moving in.
	We have a good web presence.
	So everybody's coming straight to us.
	Then COVID happens and we start getting these supply chains, like product shortages.
	And I start looking at like, what are we short on?
	What are we not able to get?
	And I go, holy shit, there's something I can make.
	So I start designing this product, stuff that there's supply chain shortages on.
	And I feel like it's my patriotic duty to help.
	So I'm going to get out of the retail business.
	I'm going to start making my own product.
	And I basically get through a whole production of a whole new product.
	And my business partner all of a sudden can't sell shit.
	And then he resigns.
	So I'm like, okay, I've got to figure this out.
	I'm doing it myself.
	I realize there's so little product.
	This is going to be impossible to do myself.
	I'm just going to focus on these new products I've been creating.
	So I start building stuff and I start calling distributors in local shops.
	And I start getting this response where I call a distributor and they go, look, man, I already told you you're way too expensive.
	And I'm like, hold on a second.
	I've never talked to you before in my life.
	And I find out my business partner took my designs and ideas and found somebody else that would make them for way too much money and started going around and trying to sell them himself.
	Isn't it nice you don't have to look far to find the ones that leave the deepest scar?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yes, because like just like you were just talking about, like one of my best friends for the last five years.
	Wow.
	So every time I call one of these distributors or businesses or whatever, I now have to do this thing where I'm like, look, man, he resigned August 30th.
	He's not with my company.
	He's not with my brand.
	But now I'm fucking toxic.
	It's like I walk into these places and I smell like shit.
	Nobody wants to talk to me.
	And I keep getting ghosted.
	And he's fucking destroyed my brand.
	So now I have all these great designs that I can actually come through on on good prices, but he's burnt all these bridges for me.
	But can't you just change the name and say, I have this product that you said no to, but it's half the price?
	Or even a third of the price?
	That's what I wanted to ask you.
	Should I just take this brand and just throw it in the garbage?
	Yeah, it's been ruined.
	It's gone.
	Say goodbye.
	Say goodbye.
	Kill your darling.
	Did I just take him on the street and sucker punch him?
	Sue him?
	Do I just advocate for violence on this show and jeopardize my legal standings with the American government?
	But I personally would.
	So I'm the creative one.
	Just start a new brand, start over from scratch, and just start making it.
	Yeah, and when they say, we heard about you, you're too expensive.
	You go, no, no, that's a company that we saw was wasting money, and we've come up with a much more efficient way.
	But also, you have to be aware that you can be fucked over at any moment.
	So you have a contract.
	Yeah, I had an operating agreement, but I don't have like patents on the designs and stuff.
	Okay, but do you have a contract with him, like a non-compete?
	I did, but he resigned.
	And so in my head, I was like, well, let's just dissolve.
	And then I started a new entity and moved the DBA over to my new entity.
	So that shit's all gone.
	Yeah, we used to have a thing that we called, I called it the crayon contract, where it was just a page.
	And it was hand, it was not handwritten, but it was like one, eight and a half by 11.
	You don't need like 400 pages.
	And it just said, it had things like, what if I fuck your wife clause?
	And what that meant was like, what if the worst possible scenario happens?
	Like we all own 25%, but then I don't show up for a year at all.
	So there was all these things to explain that.
	Like the equity would revert to the others if you abdicated your duties and didn't show up for work and all that kind of stuff.
	So you have to have a piece of paper with worst case scenarios that you've all signed.
	But I understand that going to court for those kind of things can be like 40 grand sometimes and you feel like he fucked you over for 39 grand or even 50 grand so it doesn't feel like it's worth it.
	So I highly recommend crayon contracts, one pagers that you've all signed.
	I used to like to do blood on them.
	Just sort of bite your inside lip.
	Yeah, we had an operating agreement.
	But I understand that that shit, that that shit isn't worth going to court for.
	But I would say in this scenario, your only sort of solution here is to undercut him and go to war with him.
	This guy's declared war with you.
	You need to destroy him.
	You need to crush him.
	And maybe you go for zero profits for a while.
	Maybe you undercut him to the point where you're not making any money.
	You're barely staying afloat.
	You fuck him over.
	You crush him.
	Ideally, you beat the shit out of him, but I don't think that's going to happen.
	Oh, no, he's crushed.
	He failed miserably.
	All right.
	So can your brand start from scratch and do it on the cheap?
	Yeah, I can, but like I'm poisoned now.
	I just told you to change everything.
	Change the name.
	Yeah, to create a new one.
	Change your name for fuck.
	Not literally change your name, but like go in there as someone else.
	Find a different salesperson to go in.
	Totally separate yourself from this shit smear he gave you.
	Anyway, we got to go.
	Yeah, thank you.
	I like you more than a friend.
	I thought that's a good solution, right?
	Yeah.
	Rebrand.
	I think part of being an adult is knowing that you could get fucking stabbed in the back at any giving moment.
	At any given moment.
	Like, I don't think Ryan would stab me in the back, but what could he do?
	I guess he could go to the press and say, I was in a horrible, racist job where I was raped every day.
	I mean, that's conceivable.
	Yo, you got to clean your room.
	Get on top of your covers.
	What the fuck?
	What kind of animal is that?
	All right.
	Get it.
	Did Coco the Gorilla fuck Jesse.
	Coco the Gorilla fuck Jordan Peterson?
	Clean your room and only eat meat.
	If you don't know what you're doing, Jordan, I don't know what pills you replace your benzos with, but they're bad for you.
	Get off whatever medication you're on right now, dude.
	This is hot fire.
	That meat diet is really bad for you, dude.
	You gotta eat your.
	Hey.
	Parents said, eat your vegetables.
	I say, no.
	Eat a lot of meat and don't forget to clean your room.
	Whoa.
	All right, folks, that's enough.
	We're way over the limit here at 1107.
	1104, sorry.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	And I'll teach you, teach you, teach you.
	I'll teach you the electric spy.
	Some things are nothing like you.
	You can't resist me.

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