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Oct. 15, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
32:55
GOML LIVE #119 - ROCK RAP (Part 1)

Matty and the boys laugh at The Rock and criticize Ryan's wardrobe.

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Time Text
Cry if you want.
That's the who.
It's hard.
Put out when Pete Townsend was working on his gay album.
Rough boys.
Oh, I got the wrong glasses on.
Can you go get my cool glasses?
Where he goes, rough boys out on the streets.
I'm going to suck and taste you.
So he didn't have a lot of time for It's Hard.
It's weird that he's called, it's called It's Hard too.
Ryan, can you get my lunettes?
I didn't know they were called Lunettes.
It's French.
They're on my desk in my glasses case.
I want it to match this wonderful t-shirt.
A lot of t-shirts coming out.
The Let's Go Brandon shirts are fucking spelled wrong.
I just realized, thanks to a baby monster, they, Let's has an apostrophe.
So the good news is this first run of shirts will be like those collector stamps where the plane is upside down and they're worth $3 million.
The first run of these t-shirts has a typo.
And that'll be amazing.
But yeah, It's Hard, terrible album.
I loved it because I was a little kid.
I was like 13 when it came out.
And back then, you just take whatever record you're lucky enough to get and you listen to it 700 times until it's the best album ever, whether it is or not.
Welcome to Maddie Odell.
What's up, everybody?
Back.
Heart is in working order.
Cheers.
The keg is not.
We're at the bottom of the keg.
We're getting a lot of fuzz.
This is the live episode.
It's free for the first half hour.
We go through the mailbag and then we take calls.
But we take calls behind the paywall to punish you for being so cheap that you will not pay for the show.
We want to thank one of our oldest sponsor, Veteran Owned Tactical Wall.
Ryan, what the fuck is on your feet?
Why don't you show the camera the disgusting fucking stupid dude you're short And short people can't afford to wear big, fat, wide shoes.
Crock boat shoes?
Oh boy.
I didn't even bend them.
Yeah, I know you can bend them.
That's the problem.
What the fuck?
And then you have socks, little girly bobby socks, and you're wearing women's jeans.
What jeans are those?
Mom jeans.
I think Aeropastel.
Mom jeans, they're daughter jeans.
What are they called?
I think they're Aeropastel.
Or Hollister?
They stretch.
You're wearing a hot 19-year-old girl's pants.
You're wearing shoes.
I guess I could forgive if the guy was like a rich fisherman, but not really.
And then you have a decent shirt on that I gave you because I accidentally shrank it.
So you look like an idiot.
But yes, Tactical Walls, veteran-owned.
Hide your guns, hide your kids, hide your wife, says our copywriter, who I'm no longer reading from.
TacticalWalls.com, best products in America.
We were just talking about it, actually, about all the wonderful things we wish we could have if we were to have guns.
We use ours for baseball bats and machetes and other legal things here in the South Bronx.
But you people in free states can have, what are those guns up there, Matty?
You got a couple of variations of the M4 or AR-15.
The one with the blocky stock just above your head is that's a SCAR-17 heavy.
A SCAR-17 Heavy.
Yep.
It's beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
Does that go or do you have to go?
It is a no-joke weapon.
But as far as the bullets go, do you have to pull a trigger for every bullet?
It can be full auto.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wow.
I just saw more than likely semi-auto, but some people do have class three full auto weapons.
Very expensive.
I just saw a cop got shot with a full auto handgun.
Wow.
Use the promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.
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Promo code Gavin, 20% off.
had tim on the show before he's got it's not it it's primarily a fantastic place to mount your guns but it's also great for sports to to put your fire shit on to put up your your oh they also do great things for your cars Great places to hide guns.
Mirrors where you push a little thing, and there's a gun behind the mirror, a Kleenex box, shelves that hide things.
Clocks.
What?
There's a clock, too.
A clock you can hide your gun in.
Just fantastic places to hide your gun.
So you don't have to worry about people knowing what your arsenal is, unless, of course, they cross a line and you have to blow their head off.
A Glock clock.
The Glock clock.
Now, I made that up, but they can use that if they'd like to.
Tim, if you're listening, 1410 wall clock is not very catchy.
It should be called the Glock clock.
That's right.
All right, let's start the show.
What should we talk about?
Bannon's possibly going to get arrested.
Says who?
They're going to vote on Tuesday, I think, to see if he's in contempt.
This is all about January 6th, because he didn't show up to a hearing about January 6th.
The ultimate nothing burger, the January 6th meandering.
I'm fascinated by all of the libs who are still obsessed with January 6th.
I understand the day of, even a week after, going, ooh, it's so scary.
But after we've come through zero evidence, they're getting trespassing.
They're still pushing it.
Like it's the fucking smoking gun.
Meanwhile, the only smoking gun was the gun that blew Ashley Babbitt away by some retard affirmative action hire who regularly left his gun in the bathroom.
What?
And wore a stupid pocket square with a matching tie.
This is good news, though.
A judge held two DC officials in contempt after they left a Capitol Riot suspect with a broken wrist for four months without surgery.
Like that couple on fucking Tucker who were old vet farmers that lost everything to defend themselves when they weren't even there.
Or that poor bitch in Alaska where the SWAT team shows up.
God knows how long it took them to get there.
She was not near an airport.
So they flew into what's the big place in Alaska called?
Junior.
Anchorage.
Anchorage.
They flew into Anchorage.
Then they had to take a fucking one-prop plane to some other butt-fuck town.
And then they had to drive for six hours to eventually get to her cabin in the middle of nowhere, kick her door down, and she's like, I wasn't even there, morons.
This is the worst FBI in history.
Is it the FBI?
I mean, I don't even know who's in control of the investigation.
Is it the Secret Service?
Is it the Capitol Police?
Is it the FBI?
I mean, it's not the Capitol Police.
It's the FBI, the CIA.
I don't know.
How much did they spend throwing you in jail?
Oh, my one case was $2 million.
$2 million to get Matty O off the streets.
Look, I hate him as much as everyone else does, but I'd probably pay $200 to get him off the streets.
And I think it's the FBI.
Oh, my God.
Taneshi Coates is on the show.
And I think I know why.
And I think I know why.
Taneshi, besides that catchphrase you keep doing with I think I know why what would you say the impetus is for the left being so fixated on January 6th I think that happened in July no it was January 6th it was a cold day Yep, you know what I noticed?
That guy had nothing.
When you were looking up, when you were looking up his face.
Yes, that guy from the Raiders who got in shit for saying that dude had big lips.
Yeah, Taneshi Coates' lips are so huge that if you were to draw a realistic drawing of him you'd get in trouble for making a racist caricature.
Your pen would cancel you.
He has bike tires for lips.
They are insane that's.
That's photoshopped to shrink.
They, oh they look like a.
They look like a nice pussy, though if it was on its side I could flip it.
Let's flip it up.
Flip it up and stick it on a badge.
That's a Z Top song.
Look it up and stick his fucking lips on a veg.
You got Taneshi Coates.
His fucking mouth looks like the sweetest pussy lips.
We all know the song.
Yeah, we're familiar with it.
I don't think we guys need to hear anymore.
Uh, let's dive into the mailbag, although we all already have to get to our second sponsor.
That's how much we cram in.
That's why I don't really do any news items for the free show, because by the time you start talking about something like the january 6 Meandering, it's time for another sponsor.
So we have to keep it light and silly.
Look at my new computer.
Wait, your password is required to enable touch id.
Well, why the fuck do I have touch id?
Thenk toner's low.
That's a message I got.
Oh, for your printer.
Yeah, I can't believe we spelt let's go Brandon wrong.
Yeah, i'm so embarrassed.
And the most embarrassing thing about it too is they go dude.
You spelled let's go Brandon wrong and I said no, we didn't.
And I combed through it for three hours like fucking Indiana Jones trying to decipher some hieroglyphics.
Nope, I forgot an apostrophe.
We have some cool new shirts too for the bird which is the bald eagle, speaking of which we've got a lot of busy bees out there tormenting the internet with the bird which is the bald eagle.
Oh, my god, we have a bunch.
You know what's funny is we set our, our baby monster bees out into the internet and said, tell, comment on people's shit and say things like I think I know why ha ha, and the bird which is the bald eagle, and getting good at it, if you will, and all our stupid inside jokes.
And now our social media is destroyed.
Yes, every time I post on Getter or something it's, I think I know why?
Oh yeah, I get it all on my socials, everything.
Did you see these brand new shirts, though, we're working on?
It's just called t-shirts, Ryan.
It arrived at 7:02 p.m.
I think I want to make these just a little circle above the left tit.
Classy one.
Ooh, we should do them fluorescent orange.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Hi, Viz.
Hi, Viz.
Yeah, fluorescent.
Oh, right, right.
No, that's a different shirt.
That shirt will be Get Off My Lawn Lawn Care.
Can you find?
Yeah, those look pretty cool, right?
Hell yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The bird, which is the best.
The bird, which is the bald eagle.
It's hard to pick which one I'd buy.
Well, it depends on the color of the shirt, my friend.
Ah.
Like if it's navy blue, you want the one of the top ones.
And then here's the corrected verge.
Yeah.
So get a Let's Go Brandon shirt now while you can, and you can be one of the few who has the typo.
It's not worth a lot today, but in about 70 years, your grandchildren will be able to buy a $7 million house, which will be a tiny house at the time.
We've got a sponsor that's back, veteran-owned Beard Vet has a great beard grooming and coffee.
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He's a good egg, and we like him more than a friend.
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We support them and they support us.
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Look at that stuff.
You know, it's funny that vets seem to be the only ones working in America these days because they have the discipline from the Army.
And when they're told they don't have to go to work and they're told they can get a stimulus check and they're told they could probably stay home, they go, I'd rather not, thanks.
I'd rather just bust my ass and make something because that's what I do.
I have discipline.
The rest of us just go, nah, I'm going to sit on my fucking ass and let America rot.
I was at a pharmacy today to get a toothbrush and some toothpaste and it was empty.
Go to my getter account.
There was nothing on the shelves.
Yeah, that's true.
After making fun of Venezuela forever, our shelves are starting to look similar.
Then I went to Dick's, which is a male strip club in my area because I just, I'm not gay, but I wanted to just blow a black guy just to let some steam off.
Is that the store where they sell you?
Sporting goods.
The Dicks don't know.
Dick's called They Want Their U back.
That's pretty good.
They're all sold out of you.
Now, maybe Dick's is like moving inventory or something and I'm missing something, but so that's the drugstore in the South Bronx.
Look at that shit.
That's so, that's doesn't have a Cuban vibe.
Yeah, it has a bodega.
We have so much tooth.
How much?
What do you mean there's not enough?
There's like seven different toothbrushes.
How many teeth you got?
Yeah, you can get a toothbrush.
This is America.
We want 300 different toothbrushes.
I heard some foreigner comedian going, you people here in America, you have an aisle for cereal.
A whole aisle.
And I'm like, yeah, bitch.
We got a fucking aisle of cereal, motherfucker.
Candy, cereal, Cheerios.
Jesus Christ.
Look at that.
We got two baskets of stupid balls nobody wants.
Some shorts.
And that's it.
Some boxes that aren't unpacked.
That's the other problem is you can't get anyone to come help.
Right.
No.
I was looking for a driver at Dick's.
I wanted to get to the Tiger Woods one.
It's called like the X Rev 5 or some shit.
And he goes, well, we have the X Max.
And I go, okay, what's the difference?
It's a little stiffer than the Tiger Woods one you're looking for.
Oh, okay.
And he goes, hold on, I'll check in the back to see if we have any.
This is the kind of worker that's left.
Just an old drunk who wasn't there for his kids and he got arrested with a DUI and he showed up there in a daze.
He's probably still drunk from the night before.
He's gone in the back room for 12 minutes, probably sucking on the Mickey that's in his top drawer.
And he comes back and he goes, nope.
And I go, what about this one?
He goes, that's a display.
And I go, what about the 13 that are next to it?
He had missed an entire display that was in the fucking back.
And I go, he's an old dude.
I go, what's the matter with you, Bill?
It has his name on there.
And he goes, well, I didn't see it there.
And I'm like, you walked directly by a massive display that exclusively displays the drivers that I'm looking for.
And you poo-poo this discovery like it doesn't exist.
Not that he doesn't walk around his store all day.
I don't need you.
No.
Leave.
Let me go back there.
You're supposed to be better than nothing, dude.
You're not better than nothing.
Yo, this guy sounds like a piece of garbage piece of freaking crap.
Mike Rappaport.
Oh my God, Michael Rappaport.
Yeah, this dude sounds like a piece of dirt crap, dude.
What are you a freaking dick, dude?
Get the hell out of here with your freaking motherfreaking shit.
Mike, I don't want to.
I'm so glad that we got you on the show.
We don't usually get major guests like this, but I couldn't help but notice you moved to LA when you were 18, which was probably like 40, 40 years ago.
What's with the New York accent?
Dude, you know what?
I was born in New York, bro.
Dude, I got freaking rap in my name, bro.
Dude, dude, I knew so many.
How many rappers you know, dude?
You motherfreaking.
Get the freak out of here.
I think you would say fuck.
Yeah.
The Beastie Boys, I guess, are your friends, and that makes you eternally New York-y, but.
Dude, New York Jews is like, dude, who do you think bagels is from?
I feel like if you moved to Scotland when you were 18 and you were whatever you are now, 55, you'd have a Scottish accent.
Like, it's so phony.
You're like Coco Diaz and all these other phony New Yorkers who go to LA and play up their wise guy shit.
What the fuck?
To be fair, ACDC, yeah, they moved to freaking, what'd you call it?
Australia.
Yeah, Australian.
I sound like a bunch of Australian freaking dude, like a dingo.
Jesus.
It's clean Rappapur.
I like that.
You know what I've seen here?
What?
I went to the Halloween store today, and look at this, what they got here.
It's not a real spider, Ryan.
You don't have to be scared.
But it jumps up at you, right?
So, look at that.
Your IQ is perfect for those kind of things.
Dude, it scares me.
Oh, a spider.
This is in the Bronx, so it scares everybody who walks in.
Oh, yeah, poor.
My wife is like, don't, no, don't do that.
I'm like, no, I have to do this.
So there's just a bunch of.
There's one.
White people are probably the least scared.
They get past it.
Okay.
I think this is a good one.
Am I racist for assuming that Puerto Ricans and blacks are going to be the worst?
Puerto Ricans are going to be the most scared, and blacks are going to break the windows with fear.
There was this black Jews.
Yeah, this is the best one.
And you were right.
Your theory prevails.
There's no idea.
Yo.
The spider's resetting.
Yo, is that a real spider?
Yo.
He gets his kids in first.
Well, they lived.
Oh, no, he's got his baby.
Did he make sure his entire family got in first Yeah.
To see if they die from the spider bites.
They all knew he was there, too.
They were all looking.
Yeah, he sacrificed.
Wow, so you're a real roving reporter.
This ass man on the street.
Look at you go.
And I got a skeleton for us.
Let's see.
Wow, you really know how to spend money.
Oh, he's hidden.
This is Ryan on his day off.
He films Scared Puerto Ricans and buys, goes to a Halloween store and buys what?
A $2 skeleton?
Did you buy anything else?
$3.
I didn't buy anything else.
This was the only good thing there.
Did your wife?
No, she didn't freaking buy.
Dude, she's a freaking adult.
So you guys made the trek all the way to the fucking Halloween store.
You filmed people, you wandered around, and then you came back with a $2 skeleton.
Well, dude, it was a freaking afterthought.
$3.
We were there for White Castle.
Okay.
Jesus.
It's what we craved.
So, did you see the?
All right.
I don't know if you.
This is the least exciting one.
They get better and better.
We already showed this, dude.
Not this one.
This is the show, Matt and the Blonde.
Thank you.
Very popular.
Hey, Matt, what are your thoughts on the bird, which is the bald eagle?
What about it?
Is it cool?
I don't know.
It's pretty majestic.
I'm sure you have a lot of bald eagles in your neck of the woods.
I see a lot.
So here many.
And they are predatory species.
Remember when everybody thought that they were in danger?
They were in danger.
Wow, they really got into it.
Yeah, there's two.
The bird.
So that one's not so exciting.
This one's very exciting.
I'm saving the best for last, and you're going to flip, I believe.
This one's really good.
Last thing, let's not forget our national bird.
The bird, which is the bald eagle.
So thank you, Owen.
I appreciate you.
All right.
Thank you for the call.
He has no idea.
You really saved the best of the end.
We have some new friends in the studio.
We should probably explain to them what the bird, which is the bald eagle, is.
It's worth updating people regularly, especially if there's some sort of alien invasion or these shows are archived and they're discovered 7,000 years later.
Hey, aliens.
There was a ridiculous drug-dealing loser who got in an altercation with police and died.
It was an irrelevant detail in our history, but for some reason, half the country decided that this loser was a saint and he was murdered by the police and it was indicative of a pattern.
So they burnt down the entire country, the best country in the world, America.
And there's statues for him.
He was Jesus Christ.
He became Jesus Christ overnight.
And he has children everywhere.
His family is just a retarded sprawl.
But his brother, who is literally named Filonius, which you may want to look up on an Earth dictionary, it's not a compliment.
He was told by his lawyer to get up and say, Look, man, we have endangered species.
We have the bald eagle on the endangered species list.
Yet we don't have the black man.
Why is the bald eagle considered an endangered species and the black man is not?
His lawyer and him went through it 700 times.
He hits the mic and he goes, The bird which is the bald eagle.
Take the bird which is the bald eagle.
And when he fucks it up, you can see it break his lawyer's heart.
Yeah, he just looks over.
I'm like, that's not what we rehearsed.
Oh, fuck.
Look at Malcolm X behind him, too.
Red.
Remember, Malcolm X was called Red?
Red Bone.
He's literally red bone.
Hiela.
I should have changed my name to Gavin X after Vice.
That is pretty dope.
This one, you could, I dropped it to myself so that way it's better quality.
You could see Schroyer's face.
Which is the bald eagle.
So, thank you, Owen.
I appreciate you.
All right.
Thank you for the call.
I don't like when people's beards are more important than their mustache.
Interesting.
Now, this is the grand finale here.
He's got to either trim his beard or get a new mustache.
This is my, I'm obsessed with this person.
It's Gigi Gorgeous here.
I have a very unique and special request from your friend, Jake.
He wanted me to tell you that you are like the bird, which is the bald eagle.
I have no idea what that means, but he said that your advice and examples of how to be a better person help him.
And I just wanted to let you know that I love you.
And yeah, I hope this message serves you well.
Stay gorgeous.
Hey, Gigi, you want to be a better person?
Don't break your father's heart by being you.
The broken heart, which is my father's.
Yeah.
She and her husband went to a gynecologist and talked about the fact that they're having trouble having a baby.
The gynecologist looked at Gigi Gorgeous's genitalia, noticed it was a penis, and said, I'm not sure what this wasn't exactly my training.
That hurt Gigi Gorgeous quite a bit.
Then the gynecologist found out that the other person in the relationship, who looks a lot like a woman, has a cunt because she is.
And the gynecologist dared to think outside the box and said, What about you?
Take your penis, madam, and put it in your husband's vagina, sir.
I don't know if you know this, but you're in a heterosexual relationship.
You're basically a glam rocker in the band Skid Row, and your husband is a tomboy who had her tits removed, by the way, at Gigi's behest.
Speaking of tomboy, last submission from my Ryan-Censored TV account, you're TikTok famous yet again.
Women do earn less in America because they choose to.
They would rather go to their daughter's piano recital than stay all night at work working on a proposal.
What?
So they end up earning less.
They're less ambitious.
And I think this is sort of God's way.
This is nature's way of saying women should be at home with the cats.
They're happier there.
These saddest women are happier at home.
Sit down.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
The way those memes things are supposed to go is, you're ugly.
You're a loser.
No one wants to fuck you.
And it's a nerdy looking girl.
And then she goes, like, hold up.
And then she spent like two hours in the mirror and she has her hair did.
And she's like, oh, really?
Who's ugly now, bitch?
Yeah.
This woman takes me saying very true things about women, which I'm totally proud of.
Thank you.
Like, there's nothing worse than people repeating shit that you didn't mean and taking it out of context and going, this guy thinks blacks need to go back to Africa.
And you're running around trying to put up fires going.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
But that's exactly what I said.
In the perfect context.
Yes, nailed it.
I couldn't be happier.
I don't even like, I don't even regret one syllable of that rant.
But your slam dunk is to change your shirt from a short-sleeve shirt to a long-sleeve shirt and put some dumb shit on your head.
It's like a, it's not even a real band.
It's like a filter or something.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So what's the impact here?
I don't understand what changed from the previous to that.
And then she does this dumb, or he does this dumb punch.
Is that a guy?
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Yeah.
I mean.
Well, wait a minute.
I shouldn't say that.
I assumed because she said.
It's when she talks.
Oh, yeah.
Wishing there was some sort of automatic way that they would be all cleansed and charged.
Look no further.
I'm not joking.
This is an actual method that I use, and I'm going to share it with you all.
Think of it like having direct deposit into your bank account onto your debit card.
That's a chick.
Yeah, it is a chick.
So, wait, go back to the video.
What's her beef?
You're saying that the...
Oh, I get it.
She identifies as a man.
So the cis dudes, I got scared.
I got confused by the word cis.
The cis dudes say, why do you care?
You're a man now.
Which is a good point.
Why does it matter?
She's like, you're like two.
Oh, and then she goes bang into a chick?
I don't even understand these fucking young people.
Yeah.
Like, at least when we were annoying, our fathers understood the annoying shit we were saying.
I was saying shit to my dad, like, you don't understand the working man.
Communism is the only way the working man can be empowered, dad.
He'll go, fuck you.
You had one fucking job in your life, you stupid cunt.
I would watch out, dude.
That's a valid argument.
Her off of her meds, she turns into an anime character that kills people riding a motorcycle with red eyes.
I'm not scared of Japanese villains.
When I was in Japan, I kept seeing the Yakuza, and I just felt like slapping them.
Their punch perms and yeah, with their little suits on.
They look like Prince's manager.
What are you going to do?
I mean, I hear they chop off someone's finger.
Yeah, probably voluntarily as part of some initiation thing.
Initiation.
Very difficult initiation.
All right, we're past the half-hour mark.
Last one, Bubba and Hanks.
Bad news.
Our buddy Bubba is sick.
And it's not looking great for our friend.
But we stand by him, and people have survived much more dire consequences.
So let's not give up hope on our cancer-laden friend, Bubba.
Bubba and Hanks, though, are still working, still up and running.
So let's support Bubba by buying Bubba and Hanks quality beef.
Maddie, you had a whole shipment, right?
What'd you have there?
I've had pretty much, I mean, the Wagyu beef, the hamburgers.
Yeah, the burgers.
I mean, I've had just about every cut that they've sent, and hands down, great.
Fantastic.
Unbelievable.
Now, how did you cook the Wagyu beef?
It's got a lot of marble in it, right?
It's got a lot of...
I grilled it on a grill.
Did you add any flavoring?
Just salt and pepper.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Because the flavor is in the fat inside the meat.
That's where, like, you get the.
So you don't want to hamper that by adding.
Just a little salt and pepper and, you know, let it come up to room temp, a little salt and pepper on both sides.
Go to BubbaandHanks.com.
Use my promo code, Gavin.
That's a terrible picture, by the way.
That's a much better one.
Marrow butter.
Use my promo code Gavin and you'll get an extra 15% off.
Stick in there, Bubb.
Stay strong.
Let's show our love and support.
A vet who supports us.
Have you noticed?
100% of our sponsors are vets today.
What does that tell you?
I think it tells you that vets are the only ones that are not scared of being canceled.
Besides those who experience black privilege, like Dave Chappelle, who's special, as we discussed yesterday on Anthony's show, fucking stinks.
It's a black nanette.
All he does is complain.
What a dork.
Fuck him.
There's a pun I could use, but I will not do that.
But you still get your money's worth just by saying it exists.
That's correct.
All right.
Shall we go behind the paywall?
We shall.
So we're going to continue reading letters for half an hour.
Then we're going to fucking take some calls.
The doodles are back.
Yeah.
I'm not sure how to advertise that, but we'll put it up on our site.
But I'll explain all this after the what should we call it, an intermission?
A denouement.
So we're about to go behind the paywall.
Are you trying to go piss?
Yeah, brother.
Just go through there and go straight.
All right, I'm doing it.
Until we meet again, which is tomorrow.
For your cheapies, I guess it's next week.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Just drilling.
I don't give a damn.
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