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Oct. 1, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:01:02

GOML LIVE #117 - MATTY'S BACK

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	Live from New York, it's Get Up 11 with Kevin Super Ladies,
	I know it's a couple of disgusting liberals, a hideous trans loser homo, making great music.
	I know those people would love to see everyone here die, but it's a pretty good little jam.
	And if I had to agree with all the musicians I hear politically, I don't think I'd be listening to any music.
	So I love that song.
	I think they did a great job.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
	Ladies and gentlemen, Maddie Odell is back.
	He's alive.
	There I am.
	And he zoomed in.
	He zoomed all the way in.
	You don't have to zoom quite that close there.
	Yep, that's good.
	Hey, guys, it is.
	How are you feeling, Maddie?
	I'm doing good.
	I'm doing good.
	I want to thank all the baby monsters that reached out and sent good well wishes to me.
	I appreciate it.
	How did you find those?
	Some of them came to me.
	People have been hitting me on my socials.
	What are your socials?
	Maybe we should have those on the screen.
	Maddie O'Dell.
	Do you have an Instagram account?
	Yeah.
	N-I-G.
	I got a Facebook.
	Is that private?
	Can we announce that?
	Sure.
	Yeah, you're Evil Live or something.
	I Live Evil.
	I Live Evil.
	I underscore Live Evil.
	L-I-V-E-V-V-I-V-I-V-I-V.
	I underscore LiveEvil.
	Yeah, I think I follow you.
	Yeah.
	And then Facebook is just Maddie O'Dell.
	Maddie or Matthew?
	Maddie.
	Okay.
	M-A-T-T-Y.
	And then do you have a Twitter?
	I do.
	Do you use it?
	Sound insecure.
	Not much, but I have one.
	You sound shy.
	Ryan, he looks blurry to me for a change.
	My Twitter is at Odell underscore Maddie.
	At Odell underscore Maddie.
	I would like to plug Getter, my Getter account.
	There was a Gavin underscore McInnes there that had 900 followers.
	That was not me.
	So they deleted it, but they couldn't transfer the followers over, which is a design flaw.
	I got to get one of those.
	I mean, right now.
	Is Rumble a thing?
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	Getter is supposed to be Twitter where you can't get banned.
	Right now, I got to get a better feed because 90% of what I look at is just Dinesh D'Souza, who posts like every five minutes.
	So I may have to delete him.
	Special thanks to our sponsor, Tactical Walls.
	They did our Tactical Walls.
	They did Ryan's Tactical Walls.
	We had Tactical Tim in here building them.
	You get 20% off when you use the promo code Gavin.
	Look at that.
	Ryan's nice blurry cam shows us.
	Luckily, the corner of your monitor is in focus.
	You're so useless.
	It's amazing.
	There we go.
	Ryan's got various bric-a-brac.
	All of his bric-a-brac, of course, is mine, minus the Woody Pez.
	All his friends are fans of the show.
	Ryan is just a Lamprey on this shark that is Gavin McInnes.
	And I am a Lamprey on the shark that is Tactical Walls.
	If you could pull them up, that would be fantastic.
	They make these incredible shelving units where you can display your guns.
	That's the majority of Tactical Walls.
	But they also have cool hiding spots for your guns from mirrors that you double click and they open up and there's your rifle behind the mirror.
	That was his first product as a solo guy.
	He's a war vet.
	He is America-made.
	All of his stuff is manufactured in America.
	So if you're lucky enough to live in a gun state, then you should use tactical balls to display your guns.
	But if you're unlucky, like us New Yorkers, you could still use them to hide your guns, your illegal guns, like the issue box or the clocks where your stuff hides behind.
	I love the issue box quite a lot.
	That's where you put your gun.
	And of course, when guys break into your house, they don't think to steal your tissue box.
	So go to tacticalwalls.com.
	Use promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.
	That's tacticalwalls.com.
	And I noticed, by the way, we have hurt our sales guy's feelings because he is not writing any more copy.
	We made fun of his copy one too many times.
	And now he's resorted to.
	This episode is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
	If you need to, colon dash, hide your guns, dash, hide your kids, slash, hide your wife.
	That doesn't make any sense.
	None of the stuff he sells is big enough to hide a human being.
	It's all for hiding guns.
	So even though you only wrote one sentence, bad guy, you failed.
	A little update.
	Guys at my gym saw the darkness episode, and now I'm the GG Allen of the gym, and they presented me with this.
	They go, you think you're dark?
	You might want to check out this.
	It's the most disgusting book on earth.
	And I said, if it's just gay porn, then I'm going to stop reading it.
	I know gay porn exists.
	You're not blowing my mind.
	It's funny When a cop sends you a picture of a hot chick and you click on it and then a dick pops out, that's amusing.
	It's four seconds.
	But if you're giving me a gay porn book, I'm just going to throw it out.
	So don't waste my time.
	And also, if this, they called it a horror book, if this horror book involves children under duress in any way, shape, or form, I won't just throw it away.
	I'll be pissed off at you.
	And they go, no one does that, you asshole.
	And this is the most disgusting book I have ever read.
	I highly recommend it if you want to puke.
	It has a man who lives with his mother who rapes him.
	They fuck holes in cows' bodies.
	They puke.
	Every second page has a rape.
	It is the most disgusting piece of literature ever made.
	I guess you'd call it horror-gross out fiction.
	And I just knew the writer was British from the beginning.
	About three chapters in, he says wank.
	Mother's corpse in bits, dead dog on the roof, girlfriend in a coma, baby nailed to the wall, and 100 tons of homicidal beef stampeding through the tube system.
	And Stephen thought the slaughterhouse was bad.
	It is fucking brutal.
	Anyway, we're turning into Jim Goad's circa 1995 with Answer Me, and I think we should correct the course and get back to fun.
	Tomorrow, we're going to get into some gossip.
	It'll be a very light episode.
	I'm researching Joe Coy's relationship with Chelsea Handler.
	Because there's something not right about it.
	I think she shattered his marriage.
	Homewrecker.
	So, Maddie, how do you feel after your operation?
	A little sore, you know.
	People ask me what it feels like, and I heard you describe it on last Thursday.
	It feels like somebody took a belt sander and kind of sanded it inside of my chest.
	Which they did.
	Well, yeah, they burned it.
	Burned it up with lasers and all sorts of stuff.
	It's amazing how, like, you know, if you burn your arm with a match, that you have a match-shaped burn on your forearm that hurts.
	But it's amazing that when you go inside your body and do something similar, you can feel that.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I guess it's obviously.
	It was like a really bad irritant.
	Like, you had like steel wool or something, like, it just very uncomfortable and like feeling you want to itch it, but you can't.
	Because I could scratch my chest, but it doesn't help inside.
	And the operation was a raging success?
	Yeah.
	They said everything went well.
	You know, obviously, I was in the hospital for two days, came home.
	I mean, other than trying to keep the fluid and the inflammation down and keeping pneumonia at bay, like I got to do these breathing treatments, excuse me, breathing exercises with a spirometer,
	and I got to get up and move around.
	I just can't lay around in the house and stuff and just relax.
	If I was a good friend, I would have got you a whore to come and blow you.
	It's not a joke.
	It's all right.
	And more importantly, you were recently, so Joe Tonelli at our local has quit his job as a bartender, although he's still there every single fucking day.
	But he had to quit because he got a job at FedEx.
	A guy named Dean interviewed him for the job, and he's going to be driving around with people who do deliveries and making sure they follow safety standards.
	You and Bill, Unrely Bill, went to FedEx and said, we're here to speak with Dean, the man who hires people.
	They said there's no such person.
	Correct.
	We showed a picture of you outside of FedEx recently.
	Now, there's been an update.
	You went to the bar next to FedEx.
	Right down the street from the FedEx complex where Joe was allegedly hired.
	We went to have a lunch and we were at the bar.
	Well, it was in the later afternoon, probably two o'clock.
	And then an off, a guy who finished his shift at FedEx came in.
	He's got the purple FedEx shirt on.
	Oh, he's got the whole uniform on.
	So I nudge Jack and I go, Jack, look who's in here?
	FedEx guy.
	I said, you know, we got to grill him.
	About the hiring.
	You know, just what's the deal?
	How do you get hired?
	What's the job like?
	What can you expect?
	And we told him about our friend.
	And he said, well, what position is he going for?
	He goes, he's like, I work for FedEx Express.
	Then you have FedEx Ground.
	He's like, there's different departments.
	So I go, no, this guy is supposed to be working in management.
	And he's going to be riding around with the drivers on their routes, checking for safety.
	He goes, there's no position like that at the job.
	There's obviously no such position.
	FedEx delivery is not dangerous.
	There's safety for people who deal with fucking fire and propane and toxic fucking fumes.
	But delivering a box, what's going to happen?
	You drop the box on your head.
	He goes, secondly, he goes, that's a position that would be somebody hired from within the company who's got at least 10 years experience on the job and how the job is supposed to be done.
	He goes, I would take that job if it existed.
	He goes, but it doesn't.
	He goes, your friend's full of shit.
	He goes, how old is he?
	And I go, I think he's in his mid-50s, 55, 56.
	He goes, no fucking way is he getting hired.
	No fucking.
	Well, being an opioid addict is also not great for safety inspectors because they tend to fall asleep.
	Yeah.
	No fucking way is Joe Tonelli hired a FedEx.
	Well, the amazing thing was the baby monsters supplied us with proof that he did rescue a cat.
	Yes.
	He did apply oxygen to it.
	It was on the front page of the daily, whatever it was, Rye Examiner.
	Some baby monsters said, no, no.
	He saw a story about a Joe Tonelli and he decided to make his name Joe Tonelli.
	No.
	And there's no way that there's two Joe Tonellis.
	No, it's not.
	That really did happen.
	At one point in the town where he grew up and went to high school, not Scotland.
	He was a volunteer fireman.
	And the same thing, he's gone to like all the surrounding towns because after about a month and a half to two months, people get so fed up of his bullshit lies and all.
	This has been going on for 30-something years.
	This is nothing new with Joe.
	He's been a compulsive liar his entire life.
	Everyone.
	Like, whether it's volunteer ambulance corps or volunteer fire department, they all boot him out because of his compulsive lying.
	Like, he wants to go on there.
	In his resume, he said that he was the volunteer fire chief.
	But no, he wasn't the chief.
	No, the only way you can tolerate him is to treat him like shit.
	Yeah.
	And I would feel bad about treating a normal retard like shit.
	But, you know, getting a $100 tip on Veterans Day, he earns his keep as a perfect victim to punch down on.
	Yeah.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	Fucking loser.
	All right.
	Well, we should invade the mailbag.
	There we go.
	Don't you think?
	Jump right in.
	I'm going to have to run and get my computer, so hopefully I can be back by the time you're done your little song.
	I just barfed.
	Ready?
	Ryan, shut up.
	You don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Let me touch it.
	See how much I care about you?
	I don't want to waste one second.
	My computer died.
	My big computer just went.
	And it's hard.
	There's a two-week wait for a new one.
	Oof.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Yeah, I saw that on the show the other day.
	You bought two new ones, huh?
	Yeah.
	I mean, I'm not overindulging myself.
	No.
	We had...
	I bought this in 08, and I got the laptop in 2012.
	Yeah, I just bought a new MacBook Pro, I think last year.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	Okay, we just got this in right now.
	It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.
	No, it's the Great Pumpkin Maddie O'Dell.
	Yeah, what did I say before the show started?
	I said, I look like the Great Pumpkin over here.
	Well, it's already been Photoshopped.
	Have you got that, Ryan?
	Hold on a second.
	I forgot to reload my deal.
	Why?
	And I'm not seeing that.
	The earliest one is from 12, 11 a.m., so something's wrong here.
	Well, this is 9.15 p.m.
	I close out, I open back up.
	No?
	I think maybe you have to wait.
	Synchronization in progress.
	It's showing me a little bar.
	There we go.
	And now it exited, and it's opening back up.
	I think your seventh mistake.
	This episode at 15 minutes in.
	God, we got so many letters about pit bulls.
	Every single motherfucker spells it as one word.
	It's not one word.
	It's two words.
	The performer is one word, pit bull.
	Stop fucking spelling it pit bull as one word, you meatheads.
	The real name is the American Pit Bull Terrier.
	Yes.
	All right, Ryan, you ready?
	Yes.
	Show it.
	Oh, here we go.
	Kind of anticlimactic.
	I'm going through a bunch of Maddie letters.
	Okay?
	Yeah.
	So I type Maddie in there.
	Okay, good.
	To the baby monster who said that in, we were just, I just said that to myself before the show started.
	I'm sitting, looking at myself on the monitor going, man, I look like the great pumpkin sitting up there.
	We're going to make fluorescent orange shirts.
	Hey, Gav, Rai, and Maddie, with the announcement of YouTube restricting and banning people even more severely, I couldn't help but think Censored TV is going to get a whole bunch more content creators.
	I love how the more they try to control us, the more they go fuck their mothers.
	Freedom is awesome.
	Make that a t-shirt.
	Yeah, that is true.
	I got to say, though, with contributors, I don't like begging.
	Like with Laura Loomer, I got her on board.
	I shot a show at my house, and I love her to death.
	But each video was like pulling teeth, and it's sort of like fucking someone.
	Like you say, you want to fuck, you want to fuck.
	And after a while, you're like, I don't want to fuck you anymore if you don't want to fuck me.
	This isn't fun.
	And so someone like Atheism is Unstoppable.
	I check in on him.
	I mean, I listen to every one of his shows, but I check in on him like once every two months.
	And it's nothing but quality content.
	Or someone like Coppercab, I had to nag and nag and then pay him a fortune, then I'd finally get something.
	Or Milo, he kept getting more and more raises and delivering less and less content.
	So I don't know.
	I'd rather like solicit people very gently and wait for their tsunami of enthusiasm.
	Because going out and hunting for people, I don't know.
	I'm not a fucking record label.
	There's an America First guy who's interested.
	Who's that?
	Dalton Dalton something.
	I forgot his last name, but he's interested.
	He's got a pretty good following.
	He got kicked off of a bunch of stuff.
	Okay, pull him up.
	Let's see him.
	Let's see.
	He just inquired today.
	Well, a lot of people are going to be getting banned.
	I mean, YouTube announced today that anything that's anti-vax is banned.
	Oh, yeah.
	Anything.
	And by anti-vax, they mean vax questioning.
	Yes.
	Anything.
	If you throw out an interrogative that goes, I don't know if I would want my wife at nine months pregnant to get the vaccine.
	That is anti-vax.
	And you'll notice I didn't say yes or no.
	I said, I don't know if.
	Right.
	Banned.
	Across the board.
	They put the announcement out this morning.
	All right.
	So I think this is his second YouTube.
	He had.
	All right, everybody.
	So today we're going to be reacting to somebody reacting and responding to one of my old YouTube videos.
	He made this video about a month ago.
	I just now discovered his response because somebody commented on one of my more recent videos.
	Hey, look, I found you through this guy.
	He's a total degenerate.
	You should go check it out or whatever.
	What's Nick, though?
	So if you want to watch this full-he's friends with Nick.
	The problem with America First these days is the FBI is clamping down, and we just got our payment processors back up after a massive attack.
	Oh, this is about the debate.
	The Robert Barnes-Nick Fuentes.
	He believes that Islamo-fascism is a direct threat to the United States, so he thinks that we are justified in getting involved in that area.
	Did you watch that?
	I'm very interested to see what Fuentes is going to say.
	It's pretty good.
	I don't know where Robert Barnes got off saying that he bent him over his knee and spanked him.
	I thought it was...
	Well, that's the thing now with the American divorce.
	You watch a debate and it goes normal.
	And the right says that the left was served and the left says the right was spanked.
	It was a really poor form.
	He blocked Nick after the debate.
	First, it was really cordial, and they were fine.
	They were gentlemen towards each other.
	And then afterwards, he was like, yeah, that little punk, blah, blah, blah.
	And I was like, Nick is good.
	He's great.
	I mean, I don't agree with everything he says, but I don't really have to.
	I'm not interested in agreeing with everything.
	What do you disagree with that Nick Fuentes says?
	Well, you know, just innately.
	No, just give me one thing that Nick Fuentes believes that you don't agree with.
	One of the big ones is like, because Israel stinky boo-boo Israel, that means Islamic, the people of Islam aren't a threat at all, basically.
	And like a negligible threat.
	And I'm like, I don't really agree with that totally, but if they both just met in the middle there, they're both super right.
	And then you just have two smart guys talking about it.
	It's not like they're 1% of the population in America.
	They're not going to get me.
	But I think we're up to about, what, 80 dead in recent years?
	Fort Hood was 13.
	Pulse was 49.
	Westside Highway was 8.
	San Bernardino was 14.
	It adds up.
	It's no Crips and Bloods, 20 a day, but it's a thing.
	Right.
	Yeah, I don't have strong feelings on Jews or Israel stuff, and I feel like they're our closest allies in that area.
	And that area is just garbage anyway, just garbage goat people.
	I'd like to open my eyes and see them as human.
	Russell Brand has been coming back in my YouTube algorithms while, and he is who he is.
	Is there any possible way you can do a free speech with him?
	This is so fucking annoying.
	Yeah, sure.
	Yeah.
	Hey, Charlie Watts died.
	Any chance you could play for the Stones?
	Like, Russell Brand would never answer.
	I can't get Andy No.
	I have been working on this book, and I want Andy No to, an interview with him to be a chapter.
	He won't go near me.
	And this is like, sitting down is one thing.
	That's pretty brave with me because you're going to get canceled.
	But appearing in a book, no one has a problem with that.
	And Andy No does.
	He will not return any of my calls.
	So like, who the fuck are you?
	You must be a child.
	You must be a 14-year-old to sit at home and go, you should get Russell Brand on your show.
	Hey, you hate Chelsea Handler.
	You should do a debate with her about fatherhood and family.
	Yeah, let's fly Chelsea Handler to the South Bronx.
	New white screen or bar sesh episode, even with maybe Maddie?
	Yeah, let's get Russell Brand and Maddie together.
	Even if it's just a Skype.
	Shut the fuck up, you boob.
	Um.
	Okay, I can't remember if we've read this or not.
	I think we have.
	So I'll skip that.
	Um.
	No, Maddie tonight?
	What happened to Maddie?
	I know you said he had a bad prior reputation, but I find him to be a delightful young man and quite the foil to your witty barbs on censored live Thursdays.
	Best Leo.
	Hey, Leo?
	I don't know how you could possibly watch the fucking show and not know that the man had an operation.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Okay, that's a guy named Maddie.
	Love your show, Fag.
	Start saying you're Irish and Scottish.
	Your real name is McGinnis.
	Your boy Maddie is Irish too.
	Celtic football fans are all Irish descent.
	Odell is an Irish name.
	I'm a fellow Irish Scot.
	I like you more than a friend.
	And then he includes a link that says, how dare you?
	How dare you?
	For him, I'll say, Koi Big.
	Hail, hell.
	Are you Celtics and your cousin is Rangers, right?
	Yeah.
	Celtic Catholics and Protestants.
	Big division within the family.
	A lot of them don't even give a fuck, so.
	In my family, my dad's side, they're in deep denial of their Irish heritage.
	They deny that the name is McGinnis.
	And then they told their kids that it's not McGinnis.
	So when my cousin, who's actually Mexican, researched his 23andMe and all that, he discovered that our name is McGinnis.
	Well, I tell you, my I have family with the name McGinnis.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Our parents grew up.
	Four miles from each other.
	Four miles from each other.
	And Joe Tonelli told us that he's also from Glasgow.
	Yeah.
	And he went to high school there.
	And then our buddy James, who's from southern England, says, so, Joe, growing up in Scotland, you would, of course, come across some colloquialisms, some sayings.
	And then you jumped in and go, yeah, like, Joe, what does hodjerwish mean?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I know that one.
	Yeah, yeah.
	What does that mean?
	I don't know, but the liberal Scottish guy told me it.
	Just shut your mouth or something?
	Hodjerwisht.
	Like, shut your mouth.
	You got it.
	Talking shit.
	It means calm down.
	Like, take it down a notch.
	Your wish.
	I don't know what weesch is.
	Your mouth.
	Oh, your mouth.
	Yeah.
	Or like, he he didn't know the Beano, the Beezer, the R. Willy.
	Core, Wizzer and Chips.
	Yeah, the Bruins.
	Nothing.
	Urwoolly.
	Torpy Scones.
	It's It's Drik outside.
	It's a Braw Brech Moonlech neck.
	The neck.
	Rabbi Burns.
	A man is a man and all that.
	Nothing.
	And all that.
	And all that.
	A man is a man and all that.
	The packy.
	The packy.
	The chinkies.
	Asians in Glasgow will go, you fancy a chunky the night.
	Aye.
	They call their own food chinky.
	Yeah.
	You can go to the chinky and get a deep-fried pizza.
	This is a guy who wants us to know that I suck at music.
	Gavin, I love the show, but after your live stream, I feel compelled to weigh in on this.
	You are not some kind of authority on music.
	You suck at music, and half the shit you promote is garbage.
	Tell me what AM7 3rd inversion means right now, or shut the actual fuck up about music forever.
	Well, the AM7 3rd inversion is when you were doing scales on a guitar, and in the third inversion, which is a C flat, you come down.
	It's almost always done with a whammy bar.
	And you do what's called inversion, which is C flat and E, and you go.
	That is the AM7 third inversion.
	How'd you know that?
	I'm a music authority, Ryan.
	Impressive.
	Yeah.
	Usually people forget the whammy bar part.
	Well, a lot of people can only do it on guitar.
	I can do it with my mouth.
	I've seen you do it.
	Yeah.
	It goes, this is an AM7 third inversion done a cappella.
	Amazing.
	Thank you.
	I didn't know that.
	What's wrong?
	I didn't know you had that in you.
	Kind of makes me look at you a little different is all.
	I'm an authority.
	Then let's see between you and Ryan who can draw a circle of fifths offhand.
	Okay.
	I mean, I don't know how long we're going to have to do this.
	This is all stuff I don't know.
	And then I do the fifths.
	One, two, three, four, five.
	What are you doing the F clef base?
	Very simple.
	Those are the fifths.
	I don't see a circle, but yeah, that's accurate.
	Two for two.
	No, a circle of fifths offhand.
	Oh, I see.
	Right, right, right.
	Sorry.
	And then what's the V in the key of B major?
	Okay, obviously the V in key major is...
	I mean, sorry, the V in the key of B major is...
	In the key of B major.
	Can you even tell me that?
	Well, I just did.
	Every time you try to sing, you sound like actual dog shit.
	Which actual dog shit at the very most might make a crackly sound as it leaves the anus, but once it's sitting there...
	Ryan, you have dog shit behind you.
	I do, yeah.
	Pull that down.
	Hello, dog poo.
	Put that up against the mic.
	So, I don't.
	Sir, dog shit does not make a sound.
	You can't hit a note to save your life.
	Wait, is that a video drop?
	They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
	That's Joker, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Is that one of our drops?
	They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
	He's such a little snarky little bitch.
	Yes, Ryan's shit leaves something to be desired, but he has his moments.
	Thank you.
	You, as a front man, relied solely on charisma and edginess, not any kind of tangible musical ability.
	You're fucking Rebecca Black telling Kenny G he sucks.
	Damn.
	Yes, he absolutely sucks, but he's still way better than you, so shut the fuck up.
	Damn, dog.
	Love you, love the show.
	Love Ryan, love Maddie.
	Fuck you and the hills you rode in on.
	He fucking got us both in one fell sweep.
	No, he didn't get me because I answered every single one of his questions, including the V in B minor.
	That's true, but his subjective opinion of you was not flattering.
	Maddie, do you want us to show your Instagram?
	Sure.
	Bam.
	There I am.
	Let's turn that from 261 to something better.
	A very sexy picture of you.
	That's too sexy.
	Is it a Bluetooth thing or you're not sure?
	No, that's funny.
	It's a lens brush.
	It looks like a makeup brush.
	Yeah.
	What do you mean?
	It's a lens brush for a camera.
	Okay, well, he doesn't have that.
	He knows everything.
	He wants to take ice and do photography.
	Dude, he knows everything about the lighting, what the camera things are called.
	He's always shocking me before the show.
	He's like, yeah, yeah, that's the light box.
	And this is the thing.
	Yeah, I gave...
	Actually, I went back to prison the last time.
	My son took all my camera equipment.
	And his half-sister goes to school for television and film.
	And I guess while I was away, it was sitting in his room and she's seen it.
	And she asked if she could use my equipment.
	And I had a pretty extensive lens collection and camera bodies and tripods.
	I didn't know this about you.
	We're learning.
	Yeah, and then so when I came home, I just told my ex-wife and my son, I said, listen, just tell her to keep it all.
	Nice.
	That's very nice of you.
	You lost a lot of shit when you went to the slammer.
	Yeah.
	It usually ends up that way.
	Your health insurance, your life insurance, your tractor trailers.
	I had a 53-foot refrigerator tractor trailer that's gone.
	Two motorcycles.
	It happens.
	Well, you shouldn't rape women then.
	I haven't yet, but when I do, I'll know the consequences.
	Nobody tells you things like this, you know?
	Yeah.
	Now, I put in Maddie in the search bar, and I'm getting things from Matthews, which is interesting that the email program knows that Maddie is Matthew.
	But anyway, this is nothing to do with Maddie.
	It's from a Matthew.
	Oh, that's a picture of me being gorgeous.
	Don't, look at that.
	That's me when I was 14.
	That's a British Army jacket you're wearing.
	Yep.
	That I had my mom sewed zippers on.
	I had one.
	Same coat.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Is that a Scottish thing?
	We keep overlapping.
	That is a Wolgreen Army coat from England.
	Every time I meet someone cool, they were fat, ugly nerds when they were 14.
	I've been cool since I was about 13.
	Why wasn't anyone else cool?
	Should I get that hairdo?
	It's called a mohawk.
	But with the blonde and all that.
	Yeah, you should.
	Right?
	That's a great hairdo for a new dad.
	I had that same coat.
	That's pretty funny.
	Here's one from Matt.
	Please get Joe from the bar on the show for a live show or something with Maddie.
	Him and I have had our entanglements in the choice words for each other.
	That's a pretty good suggestion.
	The thing about Joe is, like all monkeys, they don't like when it's showtime.
	Right.
	Even when we start making fun of him, like I said, hey, what's Dean's last name?
	The boss who's hiring me, he goes, stop enough.
	So that's not exactly lending itself to a good guest on the show.
	But I'm not against it.
	I mean, we had Gary on.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	You know why we can't get Gary on this new show?
	Because neither Ryan and I want him in our cars.
	Right.
	Because he'll reek up the car.
	Yeah.
	I saw him the other morning.
	Really?
	That's wild.
	Where'd you see him?
	By the trains.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, he takes a train stop-up because there's these purple cigars that he likes.
	He always hangs out in that one gas station on the corner there, right by the train.
	Yeah.
	It's always there.
	And he's got his shirt on button and he's completely hairless.
	Like his chest.
	I got a killer tan.
	Great tan.
	Beautiful tan, long, gorgeous nails.
	Silky dirty.
	It's what my wife is going for when she goes on vacation.
	Dark brown leather tan, no hair, and big long nails.
	Homeboys get night like.
	So you won't allow him in your car, Ryan?
	No.
	We just got the baby seat in there.
	Hot shit.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I didn't think he'd hear me.
	I was thinking about going down there and fucking filming him just like on the street, but like find him and shit.
	I'll put a fucking tarp on my car.
	Passenger seat, I guess.
	Yeah.
	I feel bad.
	I mean, it's leather seats.
	I'll just watch him with a fucking bleach wet.
	He what?
	He had a job.
	Well, he goes, tell Ryan to come by.
	And I'm like.
	Bring him in the anthropology.
	How's he going to find you?
	Bring him in the anthropology.
	I'm around.
	That'd be hilarious.
	I'm around.
	You want me to keep doing the show?
	Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie, which would you rather?
	I would just like to say, before I read this email, that would you rathers are an art form.
	I'm an expert because when we would plant trees in Northern Canada, we would spend 12 hours a day working these out.
	My favorite is, would you rather have to eat a piece of shit this big every morning?
	You could mix it with mashed potatoes or just have it like a pill.
	Or dance every single place you go for a year.
	So even if you get up to go piss in the middle of the night, you have to dance there.
	You can't walk normal anywhere.
	And then you can play with the time.
	That's the best one about that.
	You can make the shit bigger.
	You can make the dancing two years and the shit six months.
	Another trick with these is don't bring in your fucking dad and say how much would you have to pay to blow your dad and now you don't have a relationship.
	That's fucking lame.
	I got one.
	Okay.
	Can I just warn everyone before you open your mouth?
	It's going to suck yourself.
	This is going to suck.
	Okay.
	Would you rather have already, it already sucks.
	Would you rather how shut up your boring?
	Okay, well.
	Be buried in it.
	You're boring.
	No, no, I'm not going to fall for it next time, though.
	Okay, don't.
	I'm not.
	Good.
	I have no interest in telling you anymore.
	Good.
	I'm glad.
	I don't want to hear it.
	I'm going to tell my other friends.
	I'm glad Billy Bologna and Pee Wee Herman are sharp as diamonds, and you are in a goldfish bowl because your one job, which is creating video that is working.
	I cut myself shaving today's not working.
	In two spots, and it looks like I have sneak bite.
	Oh, I thought you were going to show us your pussy lips.
	I don't have pussy lips.
	Okay, what's your would you your shitty would you rather?
	Okay, it is, would you rather have your head chopped off slowly with a serrated blade or be buried alive?
	That's not terrible, but I will say that the most famous one ever is buried alive or drowned.
	So you're just taking the famous one and adding a chop head.
	I'm taking drowned out of that.
	Yeah, I know.
	That's my criticism of what you just did.
	I would rather drown.
	No, I heard drowning's very painful.
	They say it's blissful.
	That's what I thought.
	I was like, I think that's how I want it.
	How do they know?
	I don't know, but they're saying that it would be incredibly painful to have your lugs fill up and you wouldn't be dead, so you'd feel that.
	Because if you've ever felt like heading like shit, it would be done quick.
	It sounds a lot quicker than Buried Alive.
	In fact, Buried Alive sounds the worst of both worlds.
	You do drown.
	And then you're also fucking panicking as dirt piles up around you.
	Oh, my God.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm going to go with the drowning for the classic British pub one that we just said.
	And then for Ryan's, I think I might go with the saw.
	And you think, like, adrenaline will come in and then...
	I'd get my head cut off before I would bury it alive.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I think what's going to happen is like your spine's going to get slit.
	And you're going to bleed out.
	And you're going to bleed out in like...
	You can't let.
	I think you live with no head for like three seconds.
	So the whole ordeal sounds like a seven-second ordeal, which is...
	You ever been rolled up in a carpet before?
	Where you can't move your arms and legs?
	I think so.
	Didn't some black guy die that way?
	Dude, it's the claustrophobia that bothers me.
	Okay, here we go, folks.
	Get your hopes down.
	And we're going to leave the free section and go behind the paywall.
	We'll do a quick Nita Fashions ad.
	But Gavin Ryan and Maddie, which would you rather?
	For the rest of your life, you can never wipe your ass.
	Instead, every time you shit, he wrote poop here, but adults don't say poop.
	Gary is always there with bare hands to wipe your ass, I guess like a Muslim.
	He will always try his best, but who knows how good of a job he can really do?
	Plus, he's got those long nails.
	And maybe he can get frisky if you felt like it.
	And you can't threaten or hurt him.
	He might miss your hole and reach too far.
	Maybe fingers deep in there to scoop it all out.
	Scoop it all out.
	I'm already done shitting, moron.
	He's going to try it, but probably won't ever be perfect.
	And if you need to wipe again because he did a bad job the first time, he has to do it for you again.
	Okay?
	This actually is not bad.
	I feel bad saying this guy would suck.
	Or for the rest of your life, every time you have sex or masturbate or have a wet dream, oh yeah, my wet dreams that I have every 13 years.
	Every time before you come, right before you come, Gary swoops in to get the final few pumps to quickly finish you off.
	So if you're deep in your wife, you automatically come out and he finishes you off.
	I knew it would suck.
	That's so stupid.
	You just ruined my marriage.
	You ruined my relationship with my wife, which hurts my kids.
	We're getting divorced.
	That's idiotic.
	The second one is idiotic.
	It's just as dumb as when they say, you know, fuck your dad or whatever.
	That's just a stupid ultimatum.
	The first one was good.
	It was a scenario I could imagine that was hell.
	But like making me not love my wife and having no sexual relationship with my wife without Gary, like that's just dumb.
	I swear to God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get my hands around your throat.
	Okay, we take those seriously around here.
	All right, before we go, Nita Fashions.
	That's where I get all my dapper suits.
	You folks, well, I don't know if these are free video-wise, but on Thursday nights, I just dress in normal rags.
	I got this cool gang squad shirt from NYPD buddy, which I'm very proud of.
	It's the perfect level of fuck you.
	What does it say on the back?
	We protected and served, only to be denied and...
	Let me see.
	Turn full around.
	We protected and served to be denied and dismissed.
	Bronx gang squad.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	And it's got all the different gang squads.
	Pretty awesome.
	I asked this after we showed that Shizmabin video where they had the gang squad shirt with the two guns.
	But the gang squad is no more, I guess.
	Shizmobin is no more.
	What?
	Fucking...
	I know.
	Well, hold on.
	We'll deal with that in a second.
	We're in the middle of a commercial right now.
	So I dress down on Thursday nights, but the other three days, I'm dressed very well.
	And that is thanks to Nita Fashions Custom Tailors.
	Contact them through their Instagram.
	Message them on Instagram.
	They'll set up a Zoom appointment with you.
	They'll measure your whole body.
	And then they have a book of you.
	And they'll send you swatches.
	You define your suits.
	You define your shirts.
	You can get a shirt for anywhere from 50 to 500 bucks.
	You can get a suit anywhere from $1,000 to $5,000.
	You can get, so now we have a perfectly tailored shirt, $50, and a perfectly tailored suit, $900.
	And you wear that to weddings, funerals.
	Even if you're a blue-collar plumber, you need at least one suit.
	And these guys pull it together.
	Most of their clients that come to them through this show are lawyers and sales dudes.
	And those guys need a variety of suits.
	I'm telling you, man, it has your name in it.
	You choose what kind of pockets you want.
	You choose the thickness of the fabric.
	You choose every facet of it.
	They've got big, thick winter suits where you don't even need a coat.
	They've got thin flannel, not flannel, but linen suits.
	Remember, I was wearing my Nita Fashions linen suit to Roger Stone's trial, and I walk up to Milo, and he's recoiled in horror as I approach him.
	And I'm like, what the fuck?
	What's your problem?
	And he goes, linen in October.
	Oh.
	But yeah, it's a dying trade tailorism, if that's the word.
	Among the many.
	What?
	I said, among the many dying trades.
	Among the many.
	And these guys are still doing it.
	So go to Anita Fashions.
	Say Gavin sent you.
	I forget what the discount is.
	I think it's like 10% or something.
	15%.
	And now we're going to go behind the paywall.
	This is only the people who are not cheap.
	And when I say not cheap, who can't afford a pint a month?
	That's really, I mean, in Manhattan, a pint is nine bucks.
	It's a dollar tip.
	This is at Grand Central and stuff.
	But let's say in your local, it's five bucks.
	So it's two beers a month.
	You assholes can't afford two beers a month to have not just me giving you two hours a day, but about another 20 shows.
	Endless content.
	It's the funnest way to get the news because when you watch the news today, even from Tucker, it can get depressing.
	It can be a little morbid.
	It can seem like we're in end of days.
	But with this show, we add layers of humor and we laugh at the clown world around us.
	We were red-pilled and now we're clown-pilled and we can enjoy ourselves because once you realize that everything is funny and it's here for your amusement, then it all becomes quite fun.
	That's the beauty of irony and sarcasm is you can laugh at these leftist lunatics like Eddie Glade.
	Gloud Jr.
	Gloud.
	I looked up his last name today.
	It's Latin for lame.
	No.
	I'm not kidding.
	Amazing.
	I'm not fucking kidding.
	We love Eddie Gloud.
	And instead of getting depressed when you see him, appreciate the clown for what he is.
	A useless fucking moron who has built a career on saying systemic racism again And again and again.
	Well, maybe he's gay.
	You ever thought of that?
	No, he's married to an ugly black woman.
	I also looked that up.
	So, yeah, we're going behind the paywall.
	We're going to answer a couple more letters, and then we are going to take phone calls.
	So, goodbye, Cheapskates.
	See you next week.
	Cheerio.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	Pretty good band, huh?
	They look like a political nightmare, but the real problem with these dummies is getting involved in politics.
	Stick to silly art.
	That's what you're good at.
	The O-phobia.
	What are we phobic of?
	The O?
	Or theophobia, where they're afraid of a guy named Theo.
	Imagine talking to any of these people about Trump.
	But does that mean afraid of religion?
	Like theology, theophobia?
	They're just great songwriters.
	This is like it was when I was a kid, where no one knew how Culture Club felt about Ronald Reagan.
	They just knew that we shouldn't want to hurt him.
	Do you really want to hurt Boy George?
	I heard that song today.
	Really?
	I never wanted to hurt Boy George.
	He's kind of red-pilled, actually.
	He tweeted me once.
	Seems like a good guy.
	Filial.
	Dread of the wrath of God.
	That was close.
	Huh.
	Good guess.
	Theo.
	Can we get more fighting with Larry Barnes?
	I want to hear more of his funny sayings, dude.
	Dude, and all these trailer fights, too.
	You'd have great takes.
	Yeah, we got to get him in here.
	I got some crazy.
	I'm glad someone brought up Larry Barnes.
	Guess what fucking happened to him yesterday?
	He goes to Chase Bank in Manhattan.
	They go, well, you're not welcome here.
	What?
	He goes, if you think I'm leaving here without my money.
	He used racial epithets, too, against the African-American teller.
	Wow.
	And the Hispanic people.
	He was not happy with their behavior and spoke like the head of the KKK.
	By the way.
	By the way, Larry Barnes, New York Bank, maybe it was 2000, tackled a fucking bank robber.
	Wow.
	Beat the shit out of him.
	He had robbed some old lady who took out like three grand cash, and he tackled the guy and got the money back, gave it back to her.
	So he rescues banks.
	I swear Maddie's looking blurry again, Ryan.
	His microphone seems sharp, but he could be sharper.
	Isn't this the kind of thing we work out before the show?
	And what fucking color is your shirt?
	Cunt lip?
	When something's focused, a very little difference in movement.
	Maddie does not move.
	He's a giant pumpkin.
	He just went to piss.
	Oh, well, we got a pumpkin.
	He went to piss and he sat back on the exact same chair.
	Look at your pussy lip shirt.
	What color is that?
	Why would you buy that?
	What is it?
	It's from Uniqlo.
	I think it's salmon.
	It's worse than salmon somehow.
	I didn't know you could have a worse color.
	It's like dead pussy lips.
	I can't shop in that store.
	They don't make fat guy stuff.
	So the bank said, no, you got to go.
	And he said, I want my money.
	They gave him all his money, all his life savings.
	Not his life savings, but whatever he had in his checking account, like 16 grand.
	And they wouldn't explain why.
	You know why?
	Because he gets paid cash and they think he's a drug dealer.
	Oh.
	Because he's in Mount Vernon.
	And when black guys in Mount Vernon deposit thousands of dollars a week, they assume he's a drug dealer.
	And I go, I think we have a lawsuit on our hands, my friend, because it's not, the owner of the gym pays his taxes.
	Yeah.
	So it's not like it's illegal under the table money.
	This is all legit money.
	What is it worth $10.99 or something?
	I guess.
	Yeah.
	So I'm going to get my Jews on it, but I might want to get my Jew lawyer on it.
	Facial discrimination.
	Yeah.
	Like, think of a bank.
	The initial design is, I store your money.
	Not I store your money if it comes in checks.
	Well, you want to know what the craziest thing is that new thing with Pid wants to do bank accounts with over $600 in it.
	I was in federal prison with a guy.
	He owned a hotel in the city.
	And he would deposit the money from the bars and everything.
	Like the bar part or the lobby and all that.
	In cash.
	The bank tellers reported him because he was making large cash deposits.
	And then they did like the IRS and got notified and they investigated him.
	I mean, it was like, he's like, I went in every week.
	They knew I owned the hotel.
	Because they have that big door for night deposits, that big slot that you put the money in.
	That's cash.
	It used to be anything above 10 grand.
	Right.
	You would have to, they would notify the IRS.
	Right.
	Now it's any suspicious cash deposits.
	It's ridiculous.
	Well, they also confiscate it until you can prove that it's yours.
	Make sure it's not ill-gotten gains.
	Right.
	Anyway, so that pisses me off.
	But this is Larry Barnes in a nutshell.
	Okay, I've got a fight coming up with a fellow senior, and the guy's apparently not a great fighter as opposed to boxer.
	Like the punches are not knockouts, but he's got great cardio.
	And this is Larry.
	He sits me down.
	He's like, look, man, you got to start running.
	You got to get your cardio up.
	You know, this guy's got great cardio.
	It's Brian Gumbel's birthday.
	Do you know how old he is?
	He's 76 years old.
	And If you don't have cardio, this guy's going to murder you.
	And I'm like, what the fuck has this got to do with Brian Gumbel?
	Because his thing is, he has all these birthdays memorized.
	Yeah.
	And he just, I go, you can't just stuff a random celebrity's birthday in a diatribe about cardio.
	Is it the night of your fight?
	Is it no birthday or no day was just?
	Two days ago.
	Well, let's look it up.
	I hope he's right because I've suspected there's a possibility.
	Is it Gumble?
	Yeah.
	That he's wrong about this shit.
	He can't read.
	No, he's right.
	September 29th, 1948.
	That was yesterday.
	He can't read.
	So there's no way he looks in his email in the morning and sees it's Bryant Gumbel's birthday.
	He just remembers like Robert De Niro, Billy Crystal, Bryant Gumbel, Mel Gibson, all the boxers.
	He knows every boxer's fight.
	Ask him any Tyson fight.
	He'll tell you the year, the day, the day of the week, and what the weather was like that day.
	I could tell you, frankly, any birthday.
	I know birthdays very well.
	I know if you're Sagittarius on a cusp.
	Donnie, why are you wearing a vulva-colored t-shirt?
	Frankly, it's not Vulva-colored.
	There's a lot of great colors out there, but frankly, Vulva's not one of them.
	I can tell you that for sure.
	So what color is it?
	Vulva.
	Is that Melania's Vulva?
	But yeah, we'll get him going soon.
	I miss Milo.
	Get him back.
	He is my favorite.
	I miss Laura Loomer.
	I miss them so much.
	Milo is cost-prohibitive, I'm afraid.
	Very, very expensive contributor.
	I love the guy, though.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	Hello.
	And when we bring it back, it'll be season two.
	That's okay because a lot of shows do that.
	I don't think a lot of these contributors are like, I'd like to do a show.
	Can you pay me like 80 grand a year?
	And I'm like, SiriusXM pays $250 an episode.
	And people are very happy to get it because it takes an hour out of their day.
	So it's $250 an hour.
	That's pretty great.
	You're asking for $6,000 an episode.
	No.
	You don't bring me $6,000 an episode.
	Hey, Gav, Ryan, and Maddie, did you notice Shizmabin got censored again?
	I was watching his videos when it happened.
	The last video he put up was a really graphic stoning of a child rapist.
	Oh, geez.
	Overkill, actually, in some Middle Eastern country.
	There's no such thing as overkill when it comes to punishing a pedophile.
	Yeah, child rapist is...
	I was going to say a pedophile rapist, like any other kind of person who has sex with kids.
	Pedophile is synonymous with rape.
	Yeah, there's no consent with that age.
	Maddie, Rygai, and GavGuy, I am beyond angry.
	I will attach a Rubick for the assignment I was given in college in a college-level musical education course.
	This week we discussed social justice, critical pedagogy, oppression, and the writings of known Marxists such as Paolo Freire.
	We spoke a lot about how it is immoral to focus mainly on Western examples when teaching music.
	Wrong.
	The West dominates music.
	Bongo's is not music.
	As you can imagine, it was absolute educational cancer.
	I made my opinions known to the class, but was simply told that I have not had to deal with oppression, being white and male, so I could not understand it.
	The irony is that they're oppressing you in that very instance.
	You just need to be open to new ideas and be okay with being comfortable.
	The teacher even giddily smiled behind his mask while informing the class, soon white people will not be the majority.
	Yeah.
	And let's see how well you all do when you're being the non-white patriarchy.
	It's not going to be Wakanda.
	I'll tell you that much.
	It's going to be a little bit more like Baltimore.
	At the end of class, I noticed the girl sitting next to me was staring at me.
	She whispered, I agree with you.
	My fellow baby monsters, this is what education has become.
	I should note, by the way, that I get many of these emails where they actually send me pictures of the curriculum, if not PDFs.
	And it's all the same.
	In fact, I'll dig one up right after this.
	Students are told to speak up and say their truth unless they are mildly right-leaning.
	It's like an unspoken code in college.
	If you're a conservative, don't speak up.
	We all have to whisper when we speak politics or religion.
	If this is how we are treated as the majority, I'm fearful how we will be treated as the minority.
	Which makes me want to jump to another fugging thing that I saw sent to us that nothing's wrong with.
	I knew it.
	And it's coming up.
	Yes, black people don't tip.
	I got that one.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	New Indian Joker face, pit bull madness.
	Why are you trying to be working class?
	Here we go.
	English class.
	10 things everyone should know about race.
	And as Maddie Odell pointed out, you've got some great points if you want to talk about racism before 1970.
	We had Jim Crow.
	We had slavery.
	We had lynchings in the 1800s.
	The KKK was very mainstream in the 1800s.
	I'll hear it all.
	But if you were born after 1970, fuck off.
	As far as our lifetimes go, you got no complaints.
	How about that black dude calling me Cracker at the bar?
	Mr. Jared.
	And you said he's gay?
	Yeah.
	Maybe you wanted to fuck me.
	That man sucks dicks.
	That man sucks dicks.
	Cracker, at least I'm not a faggot.
	I am a freshman in college, and I'm hoping to get your thoughts on this handout given to my English class.
	Well, first, can you take better pictures, please?
	I'd like to know what the fuck this has to do with English.
	We are a month into classes, and all we have talked about is race and slavery in English class.
	When, if ever, will this country ever stop talking about slavery?
	I was watching Eddie Gloude today in an Eddie Gloud rut, and he was talking about how as a nation, we need to confront our fears and we need to come to terms with our past, with slavery.
	And you're like, and so I Googled slavery news, and there was like a hundred articles in the past two days.
	Ryan, can you look up, when was slavery abolished?
	What actual year?
	So I think it was 84 years after 1776.
	So we're talking about a very short-lived period of time.
	Wait, that sounds too much.
	Because I'm not answering to any British slavery, right?
	That's not our problem.
	We started America in 1776.
	Yeah.
	So you get 1776 to abolish in America.
	Ryan, why are you pulling up the Byzantine Empire?
	Can you learn to Google, please?
	1865.
	So 1776 to 1865.
	Okay.
	So 1865 minus 1776 equals 89 years.
	89 years.
	And America has been a country for 300 years?
	I thought it was like 250?
	250?
	240, 245?
	20, 45, 2021 minus 1776 equals 245 years.
	Minus 85.
	So yes, 90 years.
	2% of the population had slaves.
	There were some wildly rich aristocrats in the South who had some fucking slaves.
	Democrats.
	We lost Democrats.
	We lost 650,000 men to that war, abolishing such a thing.
	So why am I not drowning in thank yous?
	I'm confused by.
	Anyway, I'm majoring in accounting and I'm just talking English.
	I'm just taking English to fulfill the gen ed requirement.
	College is mostly a waste, but I justify myself being here because maybe I'm learning a skill or maybe I'm just wasting my time.
	If my grammar shit, blame my woke cat-loving professor, keep up the good work.
	Now, iPhones are amazing today.
	You can see, like, if I'm looking at a bug, I'll take a picture of it and then look at it on my phone, even if it's in front of me, because I can see so much better.
	This asshole has sent us an image that is, how many megabytes is this?
	It looks like it's about 400 kilobytes.
	But anyway, all I can read is, first of all, I hate this fucking layout.
	Look at this weird, self-indulgent graphic design.
	There's less and more to race than meets the eye.
	An Oriental baby?
	With some weird baby and some guy that's whited out.
	It's Asian.
	It's got, I don't know who ITVS is.
	It's got some weird thing on the bottom that looks like propaganda.
	And then at the top, we've got this ornate scripty font, things everyone should know about race.
	Whoever made this had way too much time on their hands.
	10 things.
	Race is a modern idea.
	Okay.
	By the way, I'm fine with all of this.
	So race doesn't exist.
	So we don't have to keep talking about it, right?
	Because we're all the same?
	Yeah.
	Great.
	Race has no genetic basis.
	Okay.
	Let's move on then.
	Human subspecies don't exist.
	Fine with me.
	Go nuts.
	Skin color is only skin deep.
	Okay.
	So we don't need Black Lives Matter.
	We don't need constant caterwalling about how horrible it is to be black.
	We're all the same.
	We're all Americans now.
	Fantastic.
	Welcome to 1776.
	Most variations is within, not between races.
	Slavery predates race.
	Knew that.
	Race and freedom were born together.
	What?
	What does that mean?
	That makes no sense.
	Race and freedom were born together?
	The U.S. was founded on the principle that all men are created equal, but the country's early economy was based largely on slavery.
	That's false.
	Right.
	The country's been around for 245 years.
	You only had slavery for 89.
	And 2% of the population had slaves.
	And if slavery was so profitable, why didn't the South win?
	They had all this cotton money.
	Why were they crushed by the North?
	You know, I got a friend who's a teacher, man.
	And he said that his students say, hey, why is the curriculum all about race?
	He said, I think that's racist.
	I said, these kids are smart.
	Not smart.
	Black kids are smart, man.
	Black kids are just as smart as rich kids.
	Hey, man.
	Race justified social equalities as natural.
	Race isn't biological, but racism is still real.
	Oh, you just fucked up your whole thing.
	10.
	Colorblindness will not end racism.
	But wait a minute.
	The first five points of your 10 things list is that we should be colorblind.
	It doesn't matter.
	And now your last one is anti-colorblindness.
	Like, it's fucking amateur hour at the Apollo.
	And this guy has to study this in fucking school.
	Look at this.
	Critical pedagogy, social justice, self-reflection.
	I mean, why?
	I foresee a fucking war with my wife when my kids are old enough for college.
	I don't want them going.
	I don't care about the money.
	I know That my kids are Indians.
	There's like 17 schools they can go to for free.
	I don't want them to go and learn that white people are evil.
	That's not education.
	That's just bullshit.
	It's opinion.
	Yeah, it's a stupid opinion.
	I like it.
	I think it's actually good.
	I'm lying.
	So when you lie, your nose turns into a cock?
	It's Pinocchio.
	It's one of the most...
	No, Pinocchio doesn't have a jiggly dick for a gnome.
	It's not a jiggly dick.
	Yes, it is.
	No, it's not.
	Jiggly dick is a good name for a drag queen.
	It is.
	I'm going to spring my kids to drag queen story hour to hear jiggly dick.
	Read them tick-tock talk.
	The mouse ran up the clock.
	Did you wear the orange shirt because it's like Halloween season?
	No, no, no, no.
	If that's Halloween, chilly out.
	It's not even October yet.
	I dressed for the fall.
	Shut up.
	Nicole.
	Hey, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.
	I'm a 26-year-old sand monkey.
	The term is sand nigger, my dear.
	Yes.
	From Toronto, I've always value your raw opinion.
	I hope for some of this more of the same.
	I'm seeking direction and finding a lifelong partner.
	I've held on to most of my gold coins, currently three short.
	I don't drink, smoke, or party, or partake in anything that would jeopardize my inherent duty as a woman, having babies.
	I've lived by everything you've said, except I feel myself turning into the dreaded career woman.
	I knew I would one day be a stay-at-home mom.
	I spent my younger years building something that would ease the financial burden on my future spouse.
	Five years later, I did.
	I bring in six figures.
	I'm incredibly unhappy because I have nobody to give it to.
	Instead, I waste money on my truck, motorcycles, spa treatments, men, anything to fill this inherent void.
	I'm actually getting a boner because I've seen pictures of her.
	I went farther ahead.
	And I try, Gavin.
	I try hard.
	I'm probably too forward.
	I'll cook clean, do laundry groceries for man I meet the week prior.
	I'll naively lead with money, blah, blah, blah.
	But doing these duties for a potential spouse seems to be the only thing that brings me any kind of fulfillment and happiness.
	Any guidance would be appreciated.
	I don't require a lot.
	I just want to be loved, serve a man, blah, blah, blah.
	Like you more than a friend, Nicole.
	This is a fucking smoke show.
	And she's got your shirt on.
	Our shirt on.
	She could be fat, but what kind of fag gives a shit if some chick is fat?
	She's covering up her cleavage.
	Husband only gets the...
	Oh, she's not that fat.
	No.
	I don't think she's really fat at all.
	What's going on with her face in that?
	Is that a weird...
	It's a helmet.
	It's a COVID protection.
	Oh, a motorcycle.
	A motorcycle.
	You like the fact that she rides motorcycles?
	Yeah.
	I was very...
	She's wearing a helmet there, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I was very upset today.
	I bought a motorcycle helmet today.
	It was not cheap.
	And it broke.
	What?
	It broke?
	How the fuck does it break?
	What are you talking about?
	It's separated from the cheek pads and everything inside.
	Like the inside, the styroform connects to the outer shell.
	Actually, it's separated.
	And this is like a high-end.
	How much?
	$250?
	No.
	$600?
	Wow.
	Shoebirth.
	Is this with the headphones and the music and everything?
	I have communications that go in it.
	But yeah, I was a little disappointed because I've been biding my time to purchase this helmet.
	And I was like, oh, man, I got the one I wanted.
	And it failed me.
	It hurt me today.
	Okay.
	I have a solution to this woman.
	Marry my brother.
	He's CC'd here.
	I think that's it.
	I mean, and he's a great guy.
	You want to talk about great guys?
	I mean, he really is.
	Great guy.
	Canceled?
	Cancelled?
	Because of my fucking horrible curse.
	It's really unfair.
	And frankly, we've seen a lot of unfairness, but the unfairness.
	Canceled like 45th.
	That's right.
	This is from a woman named Maggie.
	I'm sure it's ancient Chinese secret, but what in the hell is the call-in number?
	Let's start taking calls.
	Well, we'll pop it up.
	This is my favorite song that we do.
	No offense, mailbag guys.
	You are on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn, share, listen?
	Understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It's great hearing from you.
	Alright, next call.
	We'll try it out.
	Yeah.
	This is pretty cool.
	Okay, so let's go to this.
	We have our call-in.
	Bloop.
	Bleep.
	So there's the number for you.
	Alright.
	I'm so happy.
	My brother's getting married.
	I'm going to have a fucking niece and nephew soon.
	Your brother?
	Yeah.
	No way.
	That chick that just emailed.
	Nefinesi.
	She's marrying your brother?
	Well, I told her to.
	Oh, she said she's ready to get married.
	I responded.
	I CC'd my brother.
	Nice.
	Frankly.
	I could have a kid in as soon as nine months.
	A little baby.
	Yeah?
	A little baby A-rab.
	I think they're called Bay raps.
	They are.
	That's true.
	I don't know how you knew that, but they are.
	I know everything.
	Did you see my music knowledge?
	I did.
	I was very impressed with that.
	Thoroughly.
	Should be.
	Thoroughly.
	I'm an authority.
	All right, let's see.
	I'm going to try to use our actual mics here.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hey now.
	Can you hear us?
	Let me guess.
	You can't hear us.
	It sounds like shit.
	Ryan's a fuck up.
	He didn't test the microphones before we started the show because he was too busy noodling away on his guitar at home or spending, I think he was at the gym for five hours now?
	No, two and a half.
	But I texted you at two and you texted me back at six and said, I missed this, I was at the gym.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Hello?
	Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ryan's job.
	This is Ryan speaking.
	Wait.
	Is it me?
	Yeah, I can hear you now.
	Why did you say wait, Ryan?
	Can you hear me?
	Not me.
	So Ryan's got skin-tight pants on, pussy lip, colored shirt, and he can't do his fucking job.
	And now he's like...
	If it's me, I can't hear you.
	Oh, you can't hear us?
	Hello?
	Hey, hello, hello, check.
	Testing.
	Now I'm getting mad.
	Ready to connect.
	Click connect to show NAC.
	What I was trying to do is have a regular headphone.
	I mean, we know what you're trying to do, but you can't do that.
	You're not capable.
	It worked last week.
	It was really cool.
	Oh, I'm delayed, guys.
	Hello, yeah.
	Can you hear us?
	All right.
	Hey.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	All right.
	I'm on.
	I'm on.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Hey, listen, I got a crazy story.
	Shoot.
	I can hear you now.
	Okay, what's your story?
	I got a story.
	Alrighty.
	Let's hear it.
	So, hey, hey, so, alright.
	Are you trying to make me mad?
	Just tell the story, sir.
	I got a pedophile story.
	I am about to murder you and your entire family and fuck your kids if you don't tell us this fucking story.
	So you'll have another pedophile story.
	You're about to have another one.
	All right, ready?
	So in my hometown.
	Yes?
	You know how junkies.
	Listen, listen.
	You know how junkies always have a hustle?
	Yes.
	So this kid.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Next call, please.
	No, no, I'm getting...
	I'm getting Wow.
	If that guy was sent by our enemies to make me mad, he couldn't have done a better job.
	I have a story.
	I have a pedophile story.
	Are you ready?
	Unacceptable.
	Hit the ground running.
	I know Ryan is retarded and our shit doesn't work, but once it finally kicks in, spill your guts.
	Next caller.
	Jesus Christ, that guy was a fucking moron.
	Holy shit.
	I have a story.
	That's nice.
	Let's hear it.
	That's like the phrase, can I ask you a question?
	Which is a question, by the way.
	Go ahead, sir.
	Gavin.
	So you pee the bed a lot when you get fucked up and drink and shit like that, right?
	Yes.
	So when I was with one of my exes, I had the same problem.
	This was like in my early 20s.
	And it always happened when I drank a ton of beer.
	I used to drink a ton of beer.
	I don't really drink beer anymore.
	I'm more of a maker's mill now.
	But anyway, I used to wake up after I fell asleep.
	I would wake up and then I would go and pee on something in the house.
	Oh, yeah, I've done that.
	This one, my ex, she filmed me doing it.
	And, well, she didn't film me doing the act, but she filmed the, which caught me.
	And I was trying, and I basically I peed in her dirty clothes hamper in the closet.
	Which is fine.
	She's got to get watched anyway.
	Yeah, exactly.
	So that was my explanation.
	But like, I was defending myself.
	She came in and she goes, did you just fucking pee in my dirty clothes hamper?
	And I was like, no.
	And granted, I'm blackout drunk.
	I don't remember any of this.
	And she's saying to me, like, you know, you've peed in my hamper.
	And I was like, how do you know it was me?
	And I started being like a lawyer.
	And I'm like, out of the whole world, you don't think it could be anybody else that heated your dirty clothes hamper?
	She's like, who the fuck else would it be?
	But anyways, it was pretty freaking hilarious.
	I wish I had the tape, but she hit my best mouse.
	So I don't have all that.
	That's great.
	Thanks for calling.
	Another time.
	No, you get one thing.
	You get one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	If you look up a video, How to Piss in Public that I did, I don't know where it would still be living, maybe like bumble or some shit.
	But I tried wearing adult diapers for a while because I was pissing in my own underwear and sock drawer.
	And I noticed I would just remove the tabs because adult diapers only have four little post-it note tabs to hold them on.
	They don't hold on very strong, not like kids' diapers.
	And so I would just remove it when I was blackout unconscious.
	And this was back when I was doing more Adderall.
	I don't piss that much, or at least not sleep piss.
	So then I put on adult diapers and then with duct tape, I wrapped it around my waist a few times so it was solid on.
	And that actually worked.
	I didn't piss the bed while I was wearing that outfit, but my wife was violently turned off by her husband spooning her with the crinkly underwear that had how to adjust your balls in public.
	That's so weird.
	So jump ahead.
	Wait, hang up on that guy.
	Moron?
	What the fuck are you doing, Ryan?
	You got this poor man in limbo post-death?
	Way ahead.
	Well, then he's back in the 90s.
	A few drops in the 90s, obviously.
	But we're done.
	No!
	It's not there?
	Two drops.
	Are you at the very, very end there?
	Yeah.
	I have no way of knowing.
	There was an older version of that that used to have me duct taping diapers to myself.
	I was notorious for pissing in public when I had that, like, you know, on the upper east side back in the day.
	And like they have phone booths.
	I was just going there, 10 o'clock on the phone, just fucking.
	Yeah, The number one rule of magic is: if you're going to make this pen disappear, you go, I am going to make a pen disappear.
	And it's going to happen.
	And you get their eyes up here.
	And that's what you do with the phone.
	You go, are you out of your fucking mind?
	Absolutely not.
	No.
	Then you know what?
	Then send them all back.
	I don't want any of those deliveries to arrive at my door if there's no one there to pick them up.
	And then people go, ooh, that guy's real mad at his delivery people.
	That was back in the day when they had public telephones all over the fucking city.
	Well, you can piss anywhere there's a phone.
	You just got to yell loud enough.
	Now, were you sleepwalking and pissing or just get up?
	This was very rare.
	I would get up and I would piss into a drawer.
	But for the most part, I would just wet the bed.
	I have a Murray brother story like that.
	Oh, yeah?
	One of them used to get up and would go piss in the plant, the potted plant in the living room.
	Would piss in.
	They were on a vacation with time.
	And one guy fucking pissed his brother's luggage.
	Oh, it was hilarious.
	It happens.
	We all make mistakes.
	A little too much indulgence.
	What are you doing there, Ryan?
	Oh, I've got my.
	Wait, what the fuck?
	You're getting up to get drinks as you fuck up the show and you're blurry?
	Well, the show's already fucked up, so I'm...
	This is my post-workout drink.
	This is a meal replacement, basically.
	It's like 400 calories.
	You know what?
	Don't go and grab a meal replacement while the show's falling apart.
	Okay?
	We got our calls.
	I prefer our actual microphones go through.
	Yeah, so do I. So does everyone.
	But it worked last week and it doesn't work this week.
	So we got our trusty lavs.
	We know that it doesn't work this week.
	You know what I did today, by the way?
	I brought the kids to boxing at 6 o'clock and I hadn't been.
	And I went to the pub and I had about four beers.
	So I worked out and it was great.
	16 ounce curls.
	I was nailing the heavy bag harder than before, yelling.
	And I could feel the beer like going through my system.
	Coursing through your veins.
	Coursing through my veins.
	And it was a great feeling.
	I didn't do the work that I normally do, but.
	What were you getting like the heavy bag or double end bag?
	I did, well, my normal warm-up is two skip rope, two shadow, two speed bag.
	And then I do the heavy bag, like maybe one water bag, one double end, one slip rope in a loop, three rounds of each.
	But this was more just like the normal warm-up and then maybe four or five rounds of hitting the heavy bag.
	But I was fucking destroying the heavy bag.
	That's what I'm going to do for my fight.
	I'm just going to have three whiskeys.
	Chop wood.
	Because the reason you get tired is you're all fucking tense.
	If you're drunk, A, not drunk, but you have a reasonable buzz.
	A, you can take a blow to the head and you don't go crazy.
	B, it might help the anger.
	And C, you're relaxed.
	Like, I can hit a heavy bag.
	I can do like 12 rounds, zero problem on a heavy bag.
	If I'm sparring, two rounds feels like a world record.
	And three rounds, I have AIDS by the end.
	And you could fucking kill my family in front of me.
	I wouldn't even be mad.
	Yeah, because the heavy bags don't hit back.
	Yeah.
	And I think it's fear.
	It's got to be.
	It may be anxiety.
	Because all your muscles are tensing up.
	That's the thing.
	You have to become comfortable in the ring.
	Right.
	That was like me laying on when I told the nurses I was sweating because I had the fucking tube up my thick and I was trying to piss.
	I started to physically sweat because I was so clenched and tight.
	Right.
	Like, what's wrong with you?
	I'm like, you're pissing me off.
	Yeah.
	You know what pisses me off about that story?
	So Maddie had a catheter that went up into his bladder.
	Yeah.
	And it feels like you have to piss, but you can't feel anything.
	Folly.
	And it shreds your urethra on the way in and the way out.
	So the next time you piss, it burns.
	And it's like, you guys haven't improved on a plastic jug.
	It's not better than just putting my dick in a jug and letting me piss into that.
	Now, I know that seems primitive and you want to believe that we've improved, but you haven't.
	So just give me my fucking jugs and let me piss into a plastic jug like I do on road trips.
	Fucking duct tape a piece of hose to my dick and dip it in a bucket.
	Exactly.
	That would be way less uncomfortable.
	The duct tape might hurt when you peel it off.
	I'll live with it.
	Back in our day.
	Didn't piss razor blades at one point in your life.
	You weren't living.
	You either drive 90 or you're not driving.
	Exactly.
	I could never drive 90 on a fucking motorcycle.
	No way.
	60 and I'm pooping my pants.
	The fastest I've ever been on a motorcycle was 176 miles an hour.
	What the fuck?
	On a Suzuki GSX-R1100.
	Where was that?
	Like, it's got to be the Bonneville Salt Flats.
	No, 95.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	My Harleys have been out to Utah and Bonneville Salt Flats.
	175 miles an hour.
	That's scary in a fucking truck.
	That's scary in a Dodge Ram.
	My Triumph, I've done 141.
	Maybe it's because I don't have fairing.
	I don't know, man.
	Like, if I'm going 60 and I look behind me to see to change lanes, my whole head goes, man.
	Have you ever had a wipeout?
	A bad accident?
	I went down.
	I was about an hour outside of Omaha, Nebraska.
	I was probably doing 115 when it started to get...
	I went into a curve.
	We went three wide into a curve and I hit the soft shoulder and got a little squirrely.
	But by the time I hit the ground, I was probably doing around 70.
	And you were launched into the air.
	I had what they call a high side crash.
	Like the bike went this way and then it flipped over this way.
	It actually dumped me on my head.
	Yep.
	Okay.
	So you can see instead of the bike laying down this way and sliding, like the bike upends and then catches and flips you and launches you that way.
	It's called a high side crash.
	Did you get knocked out?
	I didn't go unconscious.
	I had open finger gloves on.
	I wore my fingers down to the bone on one hand.
	I had leathers on and pants and a kidney belt that held everything together.
	I had some road rash up one arm.
	I shattered my heel.
	So to have road rash, you went through all the leather?
	Yeah, it went through.
	And, you know, I had road rash, like, you know, scarred up on my forearm.
	Did you cry like a little bitch?
	No, but it sucked cleaning it and scrubbing it every day, every morning.
	At the time, I would have prospects, and I'd be like, all right, kick me in the balls.
	Fuck it, it sucked.
	And I had to, it sucked because I was only on my third day out.
	I was going out to California.
	I was riding out to California and back.
	So I still had two more days to ride to get to California.
	And then I stayed there for four days and party and then had to ride all the way home.
	So I had to walk around because I shattered my heel.
	So I couldn't put pressure on the back of my foot.
	So I had to walk around on my tiptoe for the whole fucking trip.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	I was jumping over, when we built our place upstate, we were celebrating and we had a huge bonfire with all the cardboard from all the furniture and shit we had bought.
	And we had a bunch of people over and I was running over the fire, nude.
	And then this asshole on mushrooms, Trevor Simser, he fucking clotheslined me when I was in midair.
	He claimed he was shoving me, but we have the footage and it's click, click, click, click, click, click, boof.
	So I landed ass first on the pile of cardboard that was molten lava.
	You know, fast cardboard burns and there's piles and piles of it.
	So it was like 1 billion degrees.
	So I jumped up.
	I rolled in the snow a bit and then I ran into the shower and just had a cold shower on it, but it was too late.
	The damage was done.
	My ass was fucking shredded.
	Did you burn your balls?
	No, just the butt cheeks.
	Oh, thank God it wasn't the actual anus.
	Yeah, I never thought of that.
	My balls could have been damaged.
	Yeah, the anus and the taint and all that.
	I think the balls were way up into their nervous position.
	Yeah.
	So I go to the hospital the next day.
	I stay in a freezing cold bath for six hours, had a scarf and a hat on and a heated fan because obviously being in a cold pool all night is very chilly.
	And I go there and they go, oh my God, yeah, this looks pretty bad.
	Then they get what's basically a steel brush and they start scrubbing it.
	And the pain was so intense that I started to get dizzy.
	I was going to faint.
	And I go, I'm about to pass out.
	I've never felt pain like this in my life.
	And they go, well, sir, if we don't do this, then your skin will heal around the charcoal and you'll have dark spots on your buttocks for the rest of your life.
	And you get infection.
	But they didn't say infection, though.
	They just said discoloration.
	I go, I'm not an ass model.
	Why didn't you fucking tell me?
	I don't give a shit if there's some dark spots on my buttocks.
	That's why we're doing this?
	So it looks nice.
	That's the most painful thing of burn treatment.
	Like when people get severely burned, is they have to scrub them daily.
	Well, we had this friend, Lizzie Bogatzos.
	She was in a band called Gang Gang Dance.
	And she thought it'd be funny to, on stage, to have her tits, her nipples on fire, which sounds cool, right?
	So everyone who knew her said, all right, I guess you're going to do that.
	Wear cotton, make sure it's drenched soaking wet, and have the matches like that are having the flames away from your tits.
	She ignored the soaking wet and decided to go with more of a polyester shirt.
	So her fucking tits were on fire on stage.
	I showed up after all this happened and the ambulance was there wheeling her out.
	And I said to my buddy Matt Sweeney, I went, what happened here?
	And he goes, the worst thing imaginable.
	And she was out there dancing with her tits.
	Not sure why you're not pulling her up, Brian.
	What's your name again?
	What?
	What's your name again?
	Were you not watching the show?
	Yeah, I'm watching it.
	It sounded like a friend that you knew.
	So like somebody from high school or some shit that nobody knows.
	Gang Gang Dance.
	No, popular band, Gang Dance.
	Gang Gang Dance.
	Lizzie Bugatsos.
	Greek woman.
	And so the matches were like this, whatever they were, and then they dipped into the polyester.
	The shirt bursts into flames, sticks to her.
	Her pants burst into flames, too.
	She was in the hospital for seven months as they put various skin grabs.
	She had Freddy's skin from here to here.
	Freddy.
	No bueno.
	I texted her after I got that mild aspurn and said, I have tasted a hundredth of your hell.
	And next time I see you, I'm just going to drop to my knees and start praying, saying, not worthy, not worthy.
	You have danced with the devil.
	I cannot imagine how badly Ryan is spelling the Greek name Bugatsos right now.
	It's probably...
	B-U-G-O.
	Nope.
	No?
	No.
	I'm wrong?
	B-U-G.
	How could I be wrong?
	I'm Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	B-U-G-A.
	B-O-U.
	B-O-U.
	Anyway, this isn't the foot.
	She's very attractive.
	Singer.
	Greek broad Who talks like Betty Boop?
	Hey, what are you guys doing?
	Yeah, did you hear about when I burnt my tits off?
	Holy fuck, it was my own personal hell.
	I swear to God.
	Their music's too weird.
	They had this one song that was a hit, and I was like, can't you do more hits?
	Like, you're such a talented band.
	Just do Louie Louie songs.
	Can we hear something, fuckhead, Ryan?
	That's her.
	She sings like Kate Bush.
	Not that I know anything about music.
	Look up her and burn.
	Lizzie Bugatzos Gang Gang Dance Burn.
	What's that?
	An article about the burn night?
	It says she lit herself on fire.
	Lizzie Bugatsos plays like fire.
	Actress doused herself in alcohol, lit herself on fire.
	Alice Cooper style, suffering severe burns and landing in the hospital.
	Sometimes Bugatzos walks on slippery wires.
	What a nightmare that was.
	Imagine what it was like to watch.
	No.
	You know what's even worse?
	The smell.
	Yeah, burning flesh is hard.
	I mean, I like Greek food, but I don't want to see Greek chicks cook.
	No.
	I mean, I like seeing Greek chicks cook food, but I don't want to see them literally cook.
	All right, next call.
	These puns are getting stale.
	That was a fun little trip.
	Pizza Boy delivery.
	206.
	You're on the line.
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Good afternoon, guys.
	Good afternoon.
	Daddy, I'm glad you're not dead.
	Thank you.
	Me too.
	Ryan.
	Yes.
	Ryan, get the suggestion box ready because...
	I am beyond angry.
	All right.
	All right.
	So, Gavin, I really hope that you think that's true and not walk around and turn away.
	No, close.
	Anyway, we appreciate your knowledge of the video drops.
	Can we get to your point?
	Turn around!
	You walk away!
	So I'm a tradesman, and you know, we like listening to the show every once in a while on the job site for sure, in the cars, you know, on the way to and from the shop.
	And for some reason, nobody in our company, you know, none of the guys that I work with, wants to, you know, mail into the mailbag because you're like our English teacher.
	You're like, you know, you gotta make sure that there's no compound sentences.
	And so like, what do you think we are?
	Some sort of students?
	Are you from Ohio?
	Uh, no?
	Because I got a letter from Ohio today that I had to send back correcting 57 spelling and grammar mistakes.
	57?
	57.
	That's not true.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	All right.
	Thank you for calling.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	That's not how he talks.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	Oh, God.
	Ryan, your Scottish is a nightmare.
	It's fucking terrible.
	I'll send it to you right now.
	You can shut it.
	And I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Yeah, pull up this letter I just sent you.
	All right.
	Gavin Rye, my new theory is when you talk about pit bulls, one word, and lose subscribers, it's not because they don't like you talking mad about them.
	It's because you sound like such an incredible pussy.
	But he asterisks out pussy.
	Like we can't handle the word pussy.
	You sound like a bougie antifa kid or a Black Lives Matter dyke talking about the evils of the white man or the Western world.
	It's baffling how you're, while you are, not afraid of fighting a 200-pound messed out Antifa dude, but terrified of a 45-pound stupid animal.
	Yeah, I'm much more scared of a pit bull than an Antifa.
	I thought we're on the same page with that.
	We'll be sharing some Pitbull letters tomorrow that involve brutal maimings.
	That's his letter, right?
	And then show my, I had to write him back.
	I don't know why you're complicating this so much, Ryan.
	Just show both.
	God damn it.
	I might give away his identity.
	I don't think he gives a fuck.
	If he's this illiterate, then his job is not cancelable.
	So that's his letter.
	Okay.
	And then at the top there, I had to correct it.
	Gavin Wright, my theory is colon.
	And you people don't seem to understand.
	When you talk about pit bulls and lose subscribers, comma.
	If your sentence has a thing that has a caveat, like my one problem with people who fart too much is they blah, blah, blah.
	Like for most of my life, I've been scared.
	Wait, that's a terrible example.
	When you talk about pit bulls and lose subscribers, so you're setting something up, then you have a comma.
	Anyway, sorry.
	That guy's saying I'm pedantic when it comes to spelling and grammar, and I'm being equally tedious in my rebuttal.
	Next call.
	Okay.
	Hootie.
	Hootie.
	Go ahead, Hootie.
	Hootie wants to talk about Boy Scouts.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	How y'all doing?
	Good.
	Hey, man.
	I think we're getting a delay here, but I was wondering, I've never heard you talk about Boy Scouts, and I got my Eagle Scout in 2015, and I just think it's a tragedy what's happening to that organization nowadays.
	Ruined by faggots.
	I've never actually thought about that.
	I'm sorry.
	Ruined by faggots.
	Yeah, I agree.
	But I was wondering what you thought, because you talk about the war on boys a lot.
	Do you think that that organization will be able to recover or some new organizations will spring up because of it?
	And I was just seeing what you thought about it.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	Maybe we should have a young Proud Boys.
	Because Proud Boys are all about drinking and partying, and there's a lot of Coke and fucking meeting in bars.
	But maybe there's a future for a, you know, eight to 16 Proud Boys.
	Because the Boy Scouts was a great way for young men to get in touch with nature, to hang out with someone who knew what they were doing.
	Then the homos demanded they become part of it.
	And they said, well, I don't really understand why you want to become part of it.
	Your son isn't in, you don't have a son.
	You just want to be part of the Boy Scouts.
	And they go, yeah, well, you got a problem with that?
	Well, I just don't get why it's an issue.
	Then they demanded they get in, and then they started fucking them, of course, because they're fucking pedophiles.
	Now it's not even Boy Scouts.
	And then they got girls involved.
	Now it's the scouts and girls involved.
	But the Girl Scouts still exist.
	It started when I was like in first grade, and then when I was 18, that's when you age out.
	So this whole thing, I missed it.
	I missed all this bullshit.
	I aged out before any of this crap.
	So I got Eagle.
	Was able to do that before all this faggot shit started happening.
	But, you know.
	Yeah, when I was a kid in Canada, we were beavers.
	I'm sorry about that, Maddie.
	I'm glad you're doing okay.
	Yep, thank you.
	I was a Boy Scout.
	Thanks for calling.
	Were you, really?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, my mother, we were heavily involved in scouts.
	It's fun.
	My brother was an Eagle Scout.
	I made it to life, but I didn't become an Eagle Scout.
	In Canada, you're a beaver until you become a wolf.
	And the way that happens is you go to the gymnasium and you have your beaver vest on with your beaver shit.
	And then they turn up the lights and then there's fake lightning and then you go, oh, oh, you put on your wolf vest.
	And then they turn the lights on again.
	Now you're a fucking wolf.
	Wolf.
	You start off in Cub Scouts and then you become like what they call Weeblos and then Boy Scouts.
	It's like that's what a beautiful, honorable tradition that must go back.
	I don't know.
	Oh, national champorees.
	I had to break it.
	Well, the Tubbs.
	Troop Scouts in the 1800s.
	I was in Troop 6 in Nero Shell where I grew up.
	And it was some of the best.
	I mean, like I said, the leaders that we had were, they were all parents of kids that were in there, but they were all, you know, they were Vietnam.
	They all had come home from the wars and stuff.
	And there really is something magical about being in nature.
	Like, I know all these troubled kids who are kidnapped in the middle of the night and taken to these getaway camps.
	Like, I'm talking about kids who are, you know, looking up kiddie porn and stealing liquor from their parents and fucking disappearing into the city.
	Like, they've tried everything and they can't discipline them.
	So they go to these camps.
	And it sounds terrible because they pick you up at 3 a.m. in your bedroom, put you in a van, take you to the airport, and fly you to Ohio.
	And then you're in the woods.
	You can only talk to your parents via a letter once every 10 days.
	And you're there for like 40 days.
	And I've known two troubled kids.
	They're both friends of my kids, which says something, who have come back from it, fucking reborn, rebooted, totally awesome.
	Or my wife, like with all this harassing our kids and ostracizing.
	And when she was at like the peak of her mental distress, she went to a similar thing, but for rich people in Arizona.
	And it was like 20 days, I think, of just getting up at dawn and going for hikes and no computers and no phone and no Instagram.
	And she came back rebooted, recommitted to the marriage, like Stepford wife, basically, without the spaciness.
	So there is something to be said for human beings getting in touch with nature.
	And that was done with a young man's in his developing years.
	His formative years are being formed in nature perfect.
	And they fucking ruined it with woke bullshit with homos who didn't even really want to be there.
	The bird, which is the bald eagle.
	It's like gay marriage.
	They didn't really want to get married.
	They just wanted to be part of a thing that they heard they can't be a part of.
	And then they all got married and they got divorced a year later.
	It's all about me, me, me, me, me.
	Yeah.
	It's all.
	Which is the opposite of the Boy Scouts.
	Hey, Ryan, someone just sent us pictures of Lizzie Bogatzo's burns.
	I see them.
	Burns.
	Look at that stomach.
	This one's so pretty.
	Not safe for work.
	I've never seen that.
	Wow.
	That actually looks kind of good.
	I'm embarrassed.
	Like a melting candle lady?
	I don't know.
	She's so pretty and classy and with a little Betty Boop accent.
	That kind of looks good, I'm afraid.
	That does not.
	No.
	That looks like she spilled an omelette on her belly.
	Yeah.
	Is that it?
	Just those two pics?
	Yeah.
	Those two pics.
	The one that got away.
	I wonder if I could have had her.
	Probably could have.
	I must have her.
	Brian, what's his name?
	Duran?
	Is also in the band, and they were dating for a while.
	I don't know.
	They never fucking went anywhere.
	He's a great artist.
	Okay, now I'm babbling.
	Next call.
	All right.
	Alrighty then.
	We've got Samuel on the line.
	Hey, how you guys doing?
	I can barely hear you guys, by the way.
	You're cutting in and out for growing the fucking idiot.
	Hey, fudge you, man.
	But I'll just tell my story.
	So earlier today, actually, I was talking to this girl, and we were talking about race and everything and how the black community uses the N-word.
	But then she brought up like tongue flew what Trump was talking about.
	And she was saying it was racist against Chinese culture.
	And somehow that was racist against Chinese people.
	So I made the arguments: when did culture become a synonym with race?
	Because you can be cultures of anything, or anything can be your culture, but you can be any race.
	Yeah, wait a minute.
	So what was offensive to Chinese isms?
	Kung Fu, what Trump called Kung Fu or Chinese.
	But it is from China.
	Exactly.
	Isn't it crazy that a country can likely knowingly create a global pandemic that has devastated the entire fucking world?
	I think Africa didn't do too badly because no one goes there or leaves there.
	But especially the Western world just fucked up the ass.
	New York City's done.
	New York City will never recover.
	Millions of deaths.
	And your friend is worried about offending the culture that created said pandemic.
	What the?
	Yeah, exactly.
	She was making it like somehow...
	So, you know, you can say, I don't like the Muslim culture, but that doesn't mean I hate Arabs.
	So when did we decide that race and culture was equal?
	It's not the same thing.
	Well, this started in Britain where racist meant like you don't like fat people.
	Or racist means that you celebrate Christmas during in front of Jews and you say Merry Christmas to a Jew.
	That's racist.
	And I always laughed at that, that they would use the term racism in things that were not even remotely racist.
	And then five years later, here we are.
	If you don't like the pandemic, you're a racist.
	Okay?
	You just made racism sound pretty cool.
	I mean, fuck, the definition of the word is in the fucking name.
	It's race, not culturism or fucking whatever.
	Yeah, it's not racist to be anti-Semitic.
	They're a religion.
	And I don't care if it's racist to hate on the Chinese for this pandemic.
	I hate them.
	I hate China.
	And when I see Chinese people on the street in America, my first instinct is, hi five, buddy.
	You got out of that disgusting shithole.
	You must be very happy.
	China is asshole.
	Like, Chinese people don't like China.
	That's why they left.
	They needed 50 grand cash to leave that communist hellhole.
	That's how much they paid just to get out.
	Not to get in.
	It's the culture.
	Now they have the lawyer fees and everything else.
	The communist culture.
	It's a fucking horrible place.
	And fuck Taiwan while we're shitting on China.
	Taiwan is capitalist.
	It has basically the same laws as us.
	And it still sucks shit.
	It's still disgusting.
	There's still dirt and garbage everywhere.
	I don't know what it is with those people.
	Maybe Mao killed too many of the fun ones.
	But that place smells like fucking A. Really fuck the whole eastern side of the world.
	Fuck the whole, fuck the non-Western world sinking into the sea.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye, Georgia.
	Not America.
	I'm talking about fucking Chechnya and all the Kazakhstan.
	Go fuck yourself.
	There's a million stands.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	Every country sucks.
	I've lived all over the world, and the more I travel, the more I realize.
	I mean, Costa Rica, the people are smart, and it's nice there.
	It's still fucking molten lava in the summer season.
	And the rainy season is like, it gives you ophelia, ophobia, because God is hurling rain at you for three months, like hurling, screaming tornadoes of rain 24 hours a day.
	It's fucking mental.
	People get cabin fever.
	They go crazy.
	You never get dry during rainy season because the moisture is coming at you sideways.
	Your towels in your bathroom are moldy in Costa Rica.
	And that's one of the most civilized Central American countries.
	It's the only civilized Central American country.
	That's the best they have to offer, and it blows.
	We got the guy talking about Bob Kelly.
	You're on the line.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	Hey, so I watched.
	Can I hear a baby in the background?
	No, just a little bit of a bunch of people.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	I was watching Compound Censored last week.
	Uh-huh.
	And you were on with Bob Kelly, right?
	Correct.
	At the end of it, you were like, hey, nice meeting you.
	And you shook his hand.
	What was that about?
	What do you mean?
	Well, like, you've been on his podcast before.
	Yeah, I think I added it again after I said that.
	Oh, well, I probably didn't hear that.
	I'm probably a retard, but it's okay.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	That was great.
	I'm probably a retard, but that's okay.
	No, it's not.
	Care!
	I'm in a care!
	Plus, I assume Bobby Kelly didn't remember me.
	Remember me?
	We have GPS on the phone.
	Are we supposed to take left at 1,500 feet?
	Go ahead, sir.
	That was a joke.
	It's not a joke.
	I was digging through your catalog, which is excellent, and I came across the history of punk rock.
	And I wanted to, out of respect, to give you the opportunity to correct yourself.
	The Stooges started punk rock.
	Stooges were not punk rock.
	The Stooges were a type of hard rock that was not Punk and was awesome, and is more closely linked to the MC5 and other dangerous hard rockers of the time.
	It is not punk rock.
	Punk rock's roots are much more colorful, much more linked to glam in the UK.
	America's contribution to punk was meager at best.
	Oh, so the New York dolls and the CBGB New York scene was art rock.
	Talking heads, television, all of that stuff was art rock.
	It was not punk rock.
	Many would argue with you, sir.
	Many have, and I'm happy to take them on.
	But just because the- You don't hear TBI as punk rock?
	What?
	TBI.
	You don't think TBI is punk rock?
	No, I think it's art rock.
	I think that they were...
	Like, look at talking heads.
	Why are talking heads in every history of punk?
	CBGB had a lot of cool, glammy, fucking arty bands that were not punk.
	The Sex Bestos are the quintessential punk band.
	Did they learn from the Stooges?
	I can see Iggy Pop being somewhat of an influence.
	How did Johnny Rotten hear about Iggy Pop?
	He was hanging out in fucking Detroit?
	Was he in Ann Arbor, Michigan?
	The Dead Boys?
	Yeah, the Dead Boys were punk rock, but they were mimicking British music.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	I did make one mistake in that little documentary where I said that in the 70s, Margaret Thatcher invented the middle class.
	But she didn't actually come into power, I think, until 1980 or something like that.
	But she was a prominent political figure before that, and she was behind a big push for privatization in Britain, and that really saved Britain.
	The funniest thing about going back to Glasgow and visiting my mom's friends and my own relatives is they're in these big, beautiful stone mansions that look like this studio, this big, with fucking big stone walls, this thick, and they're living on fucking Suckey Hall Street,
	and they're bitching about Maggie Thatcher and what she did to Britain.
	And you're like, how do you think you ended up in this?
	You're from the fucking Gorbals and you live in a mansion now because of privatization, you silly cunt.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	They hate her so much there.
	To this day, everyone in Britain fucking despises Maggie Thatcher and she's the reason that there's a middle class.
	It was just the rich and the poor before her.
	And the weird part was the poor loved it.
	I was working class.
	My granddad was working class.
	Why do you want to be middle class?
	Because I want a pool.
	On a hot day, I want to be able to do a cannonball.
	There is life outside of the pub and my favorite soccer team, which of course is Celtics.
	All right.
	We've got 905 online, Canada.
	Big fucking kits.
	Big fucking ticks.
	Big fucking kids.
	I'm going to come.
	Yeah, you're totally right about pit bulls.
	They scare the shit out of me.
	But that's not why I called.
	I don't know if you've heard.
	Today is Canada's first National Day of Truth and Reconciliation.
	It's a national holiday.
	It's about the residential school thing.
	And I find it kind of funny Maddie's wearing an orange shirt because the whole thing is like everyone's supposed to wear orange for it.
	But I think it's just an excuse for white people to feel bad about themselves.
	Just wanted to get your thoughts on it.
	So what are you supposed to do on the Truth and Reconciliation Day?
	Oh, honoring Indigenous survivors.
	They're orange and the banks are closed.
	But wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Those mass graves were discovered to be false.
	They realized that it was Indians who were burying people and then just putting up a shitty little wood thing to mark the grave and forgetting about it because the way they treat the afterlife is the body's not that important.
	I mean, once it's buried, it's sort of like over with and it's off into the spirit world.
	Although they do have a big thing about how the body has to be maintained.
	Like if you have your thumb amputated, you got to save it and make sure you're buried with it so you have a thumb in the afterlife.
	But I think once you're in the afterlife, you're good to go.
	Anyway, the whole notion that Canadian schools were murdering hundreds of Indians and throwing them into mass graves was disproven.
	But we're having a day to apologize?
	And plus the government's pledging like, I think like something like $24 million into public education to put it into the curriculum to teach them about the genocide, quote unquote.
	To teach them about this giant misunderstanding.
	It's like Black Wall Street.
	Yeah, it's fucking the Tulsa, Oklahoma massacre all over again.
	And now as parents, our kids come home and we have to go.
	Hello.
	Hello?
	That's enough.
	Thanks for calling.
	Now as parents, our kids come home, we have to go, okay, here's what happened with Tulsa.
	It was a race riot that was started because some guy fondled a white chick.
	A black dude fondled a white chick.
	And then the blacks were worried that he wasn't going to get a fair trial.
	So they showed up with guns.
	And then the whites didn't like that.
	The blacks were there with guns.
	And then the blacks started, they shot the first shot, started a riot, and then eventually it built up and built up until eventually the blacks lost the fight.
	They started.
	You getting kind of tired over there, Maddie?
	Well, you know, I had heart surgery.
	Fatigue.
	I'm up late.
	And now we have to explain to people about the fucking aboriginal myths.
	Yes, by the way, we did not treat the Indians well.
	And yes, we did separate them from their families.
	And yes, we did send pedophile priests to reserves where the Catholic schools and the churches were on the reserves, sort of implying that it was okay if they raped Indian kids.
	Believe me, there are some sins in our past.
	But let's just teach the true ones and not the giant fucking mass graves.
	Because that wasn't a thing we did.
	We did not kill thousands of Indians and set them up in fucking giant graves.
	Jesus.
	Anyway, next last call.
	One more.
	Okay.
	This guy's friend's girlfriend broke up over a Porsche.
	Hey, Ryan, I heard the beat.
	I can't hear you guys talk, though, at all.
	Just let you know.
	I guess my story is, what I was going to say was I got a my girlfriend.
	She's got a friend who just broke up with her boyfriend.
	I guess the fucking boyfriend didn't like her because she was pro-choice.
	He's fucking not.
	And I don't know.
	I just thought it was going to fucking ball these ideas pretty much to say, yeah, here's the deal.
	You're fucking bullshit.
	Like, why the hell do you believe this crap?
	And I was just thinking to myself, like, well, what the fuck?
	Like, how do we teach like chicks?
	I don't understand how the fuck we get this whole thing figured out.
	Like, abortion is clearly not a fucking good thing.
	And these chicks just, you know, they fucking can't see it.
	It's absolute horseshit.
	Yeah, I think you're giving women too much credit.
	I'm going to end this on a sexist note where I would say, stop treating women like their political opinions matter.
	Just tell them they're pro-life.
	Or just smile and say, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're pro-choice.
	That sounds great and everything.
	And correct it over time.
	I mean, the idea, like, I think a lot of guys talk about women like they're dudes.
	And you have to be on the same page.
	And you kind of do with dudes.
	Like, I don't see how I could be friends with someone who was against free speech or against the Second Amendment, thought guns were evil.
	I don't know what the fuck we talk about.
	As far as chicks go, I don't respect their political opinions.
	I do respect women.
	I think they're magic.
	They can create life.
	So I'm hanging out with Superman.
	But as far as them talking about the Daily, whatever it's called where Clark Kent works.
	Daily Planet?
	The Daily Planet and hearing their views on journalism.
	I don't give a shit what Clark Kent has to say about journalism.
	He's not a good journalist.
	He's a superhero.
	And I feel the same way about most women.
	I don't care how they feel about politics.
	They're not good at it.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Folks, we're out of time here.
	We've drifted five minutes past the deadline.
	Thanks to Maddie O'Dell for coming by.
	Thanks to Brian for fucking up the microphones and sending us back in time to when things didn't work.
	And thank you for tuning in.
	We'll see you tomorrow where we've got a fun, light episode.
	I want to focus on that dude who got that chick fired for saying, go back to your hood.
	I've been deep diving him and he's a cunt.
	He wrote a book called The Black Friend, How Whites Can Be Better People.
	And I also want to look at Chelsea Handler and Joe Coy.
	Chelsea Handler has been a real single spinster activist, and then she stole some guy's, some woman's man, a guy with a kid, and took over his life.
	Apparently she does want to be with a man, you lying cunt, his poor ex, who is totally fucking hot.
	By the way, we'll be looking at pictures of her.
	So until tomorrow, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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