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Sept. 24, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:41:00

S04E33 - BLACK MURDER SYNDROME

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Time	Text
	Please put me in a medically induced coma.
	Don't make me live awake.
	I'm tired.
	Live from New York.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	Bars and flowers on my album cover.
	You don't play.
	You make me worthless.
	What if I just threw you away?
	My clothes don't fit and I can feel my spine.
	I can't give up the drugs, so I give up all life.
	Please put me in a medically induced comedy.
	That was and is Carol's daughter.
	All one word with an E. And she'd like to be put into a mentally induced coma.
	She's an emo Malgoth who has a ton of fucking piercings in her face.
	Does anyone find that attractive?
	Young men today like making out with girls with facial piercings?
	It's not a great message to send to people, is it?
	As a young lady.
	It kind of means I'm garbage.
	Jizz on me.
	I was going to play.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	I sent that as a separate email, right?
	I was going to play.
	These are all baby monster submissions, by the way.
	I was going to play this black homo who I've been meaning to play for a long time.
	It's a really funny video because it's about like, hey, girl, you think I'm not one of the girls just because I'm a big fat, gay black dude?
	Well, watch this.
	And then proceeds to do nothing.
	Because he's lazy.
	That's why he's fat.
	Santana is a lazy, fat, useless piece of shit.
	There he is.
	I tired of this.
	Okay, so stop.
	So this is how this should work.
	They're like the freak homos of the school.
	And the in-crowd, I guess, in this magical world, are white.
	Of course, in reality, the freaks, the homos, would be the in-crowd.
	And the white girls would be getting told that they're racist pieces of shit and probably be, I don't know, have the shit beaten out of them for daring to be white.
	But if you're going to have this crazy world where black gays are treated like shit, which would only really happen at black schools, maybe Hispanic schools, but not white schools.
	But anyway, let's pretend that's a universe.
	Then these people had better be doing some amazing flips and Ollie McTwists and fucking hand springs.
	Like, I better go, what the hell was that?
	How dare I underestimate you?
	The in crowd has just been showing what time it is.
	Well, let's see what they do.
	That's what I'm saying.
	Y'all always just trying to steal our grooves.
	Steal our emotions.
	You ain't gonna notice.
	Guess what?
	I got something for y'all bitches.
	Meet us in the gym and we're gonna show you how I got.
	Bye.
	Bye, Felicia.
	Bye, bitch.
	Talk to the hand because you ain't got no man.
	Okay, Saucy.
	So here's my advice.
	Work with like a choreographer for three months.
	Stop.
	Bob Onenkirk's movie, Nobody, he did MMA on a daily basis for two years, non-stop, all day, practicing training.
	He didn't have to.
	There's stunt men for that.
	But he really wanted to shine in his action debut.
	Okay, Saucy Santana, you just talked about how awesome you are.
	You have a beard and long hair and those stupid eyelashes, which, by the way, are no longer just a black thing.
	They have drifted into not just white culture, but middle-class, middle-aged women, white culture.
	I see women at the airport who are normal with fucking ridiculous palm fronds.
	It's not possible to look not ridiculous with those eyelashes.
	I am a woman.
	I am black.
	Okay, go ahead.
	Dazzle me.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	Here we go.
	Okay, here we go.
	I got you.
	We're getting into the groove.
	We're warming up.
	Nintendo dazzle.
	So far, Jim McInnis could match you note for note.
	Move for move.
	What?
	That wasn't even a good twerk.
	What are you showing up?
	I don't get it.
	You're supposed to be showing off.
	You're meeting in the gym.
	This is like a breakdown, breakdance.
	Badass showdown.
	They're so fucking lazy.
	Look at this.
	So you know what happened here?
	They didn't practice or anything.
	They just said, and then I'm going to get like my hair and my nails did.
	And then you just film us.
	And we'll just be like dancing and working out and showing everyone how good we is.
	You suck.
	Look at this.
	Get a stuntman.
	Get some super fancy dancer to wear that big dumbass wig and go like spin around on her head.
	Look at that.
	The splits.
	That's kind of hard.
	I can't do the splits.
	So that's been the only hard thing so far.
	That was too much of indecence.
	We fucking all night.
	Anyway, that was really impressive.
	And then finally, of course, let's cleanse the palette with the chat's testament to ACDC, which once again, Australia's hitting it out of the park with high-quality entertainment.
	ACDC, who they call the second best band in the world.
	Dude, this glare is new.
	What's going on here?
	That's an old glare.
	Well, it's old glare and then you've had it for a while now.
	Is that that light?
	It's the, no, no, your key light right in front of you to the front left.
	Okay, that's new.
	We worked hard to have no glare.
	We always had a little bit of glare, but that's more than ush.
	Fix it.
	Alright.
	Now?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	I asked you about this a long time ago.
	I said, doesn't a thumbnail having a glare bother you?
	Things should bother you about the site.
	Like our t-shirts page should make you go, oh shit.
	Can't it go higher?
	You're positive it's at maximum height.
	You're positive that stand is at maximum height.
	I don't believe you.
	Now it's got a reboot.
	Well, that's 4% better.
	I don't know.
	Abysmal failure.
	Yeah, let's get to the chats.
	This is a great jam.
	It's ancient Chinese secret by now.
	What a fucking awesome man.
	Although, meeting the Catholic Church is a little horn-based.
	Speaking of rock and jams, someone sent me a TikTok today of a woman listening to what appears to be a remix of Yours Truly telling her the truth.
	And she's outraged at how sexist it is.
	And I want to see if you notice something about this video.
	This audio.
	Women do earn less in America because they choose to.
	They would rather go to their daughter's piano recital than stay all night at work working on a proposal.
	So they end up earning less.
	They're less ambitious.
	And I think this is sort of God's way.
	This is nature's way of saying women should be at home with the kids.
	They're happier there.
	Women are happier at home.
	Women do earn less.
	So I guess that's in a song?
	Or someone else on TikTok remixed it?
	Here's what's great about that.
	She's happy and she's at home.
	She's got her fur babies to appease her maternal instinct because she's too young to have kids, but genetically she wants to nurture.
	And she's so happy at home, by the way, at her house, that they've labeled the porch like it's a restaurant.
	That's how much they love being at home.
	Why'd you leave it?
	I want a boyfriend.
	Just looking at her loneliness here.
	Yeah, she got dumped recently.
	I checked her out.
	But yeah, maybe she's being sarcastic.
	I don't think so.
	But this woman is happy at home, spending lots of time at home, alone, and lamenting the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend, which really is, you know, your genetics yearning for a family.
	If a young girl wants a boyfriend, a generation or two ago, she would have been married with a kid by now.
	I mean, God did design us to have families much younger than we do.
	The reason you see these 13, 14-year-olds busting ass at baseball is because they have testosterone coursing through their veins.
	And what's testosterone for?
	It's for breeding, hunting, warring.
	Now, luckily, we're advanced now, and we don't have to kill for our supper and maim a nearby tribe, but that's a very recent development.
	And now I sound like I'm sexualizing young teens.
	That's not a good look.
	Also on the TikTok news, Bobby Kelly.
	I don't know if you saw the entire show on Wednesday before I showed up, but Bobby Kelly sat down in the chair and the little footrest just went kung and broke off.
	And he just goes, these fucking garbage chairs, these cheap bullshit chairs, which I think is what fat people do when they break a chair.
	They bitch about how stupid and cheap the chair is.
	Now, Anthony's had Big A over at his house quite a bit and has lost $4,000 of chairs.
	And he's not a fan of fat people wrecking his chairs.
	In fact, I heard him say about Big A, he goes, how is that different than a junkie borrowing my car and wrecking it?
	He's addicted to food and he wrecked my beautiful chair.
	And Anthony's a zip.
	So he's got like these ornate chairs with all the floral wood and the red velvet.
	Everything looks like a king's throne.
	Even the thing you have a burrito on.
	So Bobby Kelly came and broke.
	He just said the chairs suck.
	And Anthony goes, really?
	I mean, we've had them for seven years.
	They've sucked all this time.
	And he goes, yeah, exactly.
	Seven years.
	They're old.
	They're garbage.
	How about an apology?
	I'm so fat that I broke a chair.
	Anyway, Bobby Kelly made this video the day after breaking Anthony's chair where he actually blames the chair.
	Yes, chairs.
	Let's talk about chairs.
	Full pun intended chairs are the biggest fucking issue in the fat community.
	The amount of public spaces like doctor's offices, malls, what the fuck ever.
	Places that have seating, restaurants, etc., never, ever have accessible seating.
	Some places just have stools or some places just have armed, small, dinky-looking chairs.
	As a fat person, if you have never ever done the following things.
	Hold on.
	Hold on.
	If you have not.
	You chose to be fat.
	This is the elephant in the room when it comes to gigantic fat pigs.
	You're in blackface and you're complaining about racism.
	I'm a drunk.
	If I was going somewhere, I would have to inquire to see if they had booze.
	If they don't, I'll bring my own bottle or if the booze is prohibitively expensive, like it was on vacation this summer, $22 a maker's.
	I'll bring my own makers.
	I'll buy it at duty free.
	I can't complain about that.
	That's my self-indulgence.
	The fact that you can turn your obesity into some sort of genetic curse and then get mad at everyone for not acquiescing into your obesity, that's, well, it's the kind of thing that lazy fat pigs do.
	I mean, obviously you're self-indulgent.
	We have eyeballs.
	Ever looked at a picture of a restaurant on Google Maps to try and figure out if the seating would be accessible to your size?
	If you've never broken a chair in a public space in the middle of the map.
	I've never broken a chair.
	Have you, Ryan?
	Yeah, I think so.
	But not due to fatness, I don't think.
	To second guess whether or not it was okay to sit down in the chairs provided to you.
	If you've never had a fucking panic attack at school because you couldn't fit into the goddamn chair desk situation, then you don't deal with fat phobia at the same level that the rest of us do.
	Okay.
	And this is just one example.
	There are a plus.
	I officially don't deal with fat phobia at the same level the rest of you do.
	Correct.
	Correct.
	Next.
	You know who else has to deal with struggling things with their body?
	What?
	You don't understand the benefits of being a normal person until you look at someone like me who, you know, can't buy clothes off the shelf.
	Well, this is exactly the same.
	They have the same problem.
	Normal places too.
	Can't ride in certain size cars, can't ride in certain size airplane seats, going to hotels, overseas, staying in small beds, trying to fit in small shoes.
	You purposely made yourself way bigger than everyone else in both cases.
	290 pounds.
	Look at his face freaking out like he's going into a pile of broken glass.
	It's called water, dude.
	Oh, here we go.
	Like he's superhuman about to jump on fluorescent light bulbs.
	Huh?
	I'm about to get water all over my face.
	Oh, yeah, jugglets.
	What did you say?
	Fuck this shit.
	And then he does it.
	Juggle loosen jugglets.
	Yeah.
	Speaking of funny, Gazzikadzo is still fucking shit up.
	So he's now, he's a giant troll, whether he knows it or not.
	This is the guy, he's the reason we say, Uhuru, he is the soundbite, Uhuru.
	We saw him on a viral video, god damn it, seven years ago now, where he was making white people talk about how they're going to give reparations, Doe.
	What is it, dead ass?
	Deadass going to give reparations to blacks.
	And we thought that was funny that the whites were cucking themselves so much before him.
	Then he was booted out of Black Lives Matter for being a homo.
	Then he went on the run.
	Then he built some fucking giant African community center.
	Hammer City.
	And then, no, that's before that.
	Then Hammer City came along.
	Then they got land in Arizona, which I don't think they can have.
	So I think they've since been evicted from this random clump of land they said they were starting a new society on, if we all recall that.
	And the most recent development is that he is supporting Nikki Minaj in her war on vaxxers, which is awesome.
	And now he's inviting Trump people to come with him.
	Group that protested CDC in support of Nicki Minaj invites Trump supporters to join them for demonstration this Friday at CDC headquarters.
	Says CDC employees threw things at them.
	He's awesome.
	Yeah, he's, I mean, a cultural icon.
	And people keep, he's kind of like Forrest Gump in that he keeps popping up and people don't realize that's the guy from the previous thing.
	They're just like, there's a weird black activist out there.
	Is there a video of him telling Trump supporters that they're invited?
	He was recently the Joker, too.
	He was like, yeah, yeah, but in that link.
	Unfortunately.
	Oh, God, Gateway.
	Do this post on Instagram.
	There's some...
	Oh, okay.
	It's going to take a day to load.
	Let me look him up myself.
	Gatsy.
	Commander Gatsy on Instagram, if you're interested.
	No.
	Some anti-mask stuff.
	On his Instagram?
	Oh, what's his take on this?
	I remember y'all saying we have to vote Trump out to get kids out of cages at the border.
	Well, now Biden is whipping our people at the border, B-O-A-R, and there are more kids in cages he and Obama built.
	What happened to all that harm reduction y'all spoke of?
	Voting is for sheep.
	So, speaking of which, by the way, the COVID thing, jump to 2-2.
	Didn't I call this a million years ago?
	I said, if you have To get on your $5,000 computer and then use your hashtag and your UPC thing to log in and get on the database and then show your iPhone, your $1,000 iPhone.
	You're going to have lots of organized white liberals who are willing to be part of the movement, and you're going to have a lot of 72-year-old Dominican dudes who barely have a flip phone.
	And when that happens at an event and all the white people come in and the black and the browns have to stay there, you're going to have a racist law and you're going to shit your pants.
	Now, Oregon came across this and their solution, which didn't last long because it's a violation of the 1962 Civil Rights Act, was people of color are exempt.
	That didn't work, thank God, because that was a hole in my theory.
	But here we have Black Lives Matter of Greater New York blasting the vaccine mandates as racist and disrespectful.
	That's a funny word in black culture because it means so much to them.
	And as Jim Goad put it, why do you care who respects you?
	Don't be disrespectful to people or not respectful people.
	Disrespectful, I think, is not actually a word.
	How piquant.
	Don Lamon.
	Greg Gutfeld and Tucker Carlson just had a debate on who's stupid or Don Lamon or Chris Cuomo.
	And Tucker chose Chris Cuomo.
	Whoa.
	I think Chris Cuomo is mentally ill.
	Don Lamon is.
	I mean, it's a good debate because I go back and forth in my head, but Don Lamon's definitely dumber.
	Yeah.
	I mean, he doesn't know anything.
	But zips are kind of like inherently dense.
	Right.
	You know?
	I think a fun test would just be a bunch of times tables with them.
	And don't you feel like Laman would turf it six times seven?
	I'll tell you what Don Laman would do.
	He'd do the, what?
	Six times seven?
	Oh, you're asking me?
	Oh.
	Oh, yeah, that's 42.
	Right.
	He'd buy himself some time.
	Chris Como, I feel it would say 42 pretty quick.
	All right, we're still not starting the show.
	We're still in the fun zone.
	Speaking of fun, I sent you this update email after I sent you all this, shiznit, about some stuff.
	Kyle Dunnegan has a new show out.
	And you know what I realized watching, pull up his latest live stream.
	I'm watching Tom Furayo.
	I'm watching Sil Stone, which is the proper way to abbreviate Sylvester.
	And I'm realizing that this is Joe Tonelli.
	Kyle Dunagan Sly Stone is Joe Tonelli.
	And by the way, we've had some baby monsters sending us warnings from the Arizona government that he is on an imposter's list for nurses.
	Yes, we're very familiar with his fraudulent past pretending to be a nurse.
	Welcome to this show.
	My goodness, if we pull off this one, it will be a miracle.
	My gosh, we got some pick-me-ups.
	We got these two pussies that are going to be here, too, that I hate.
	But we got to bring them in here.
	I don't like those characters.
	Just so we don't get kids, so we got to bring those pussies.
	I hate those fucking pussies.
	I do too, Kirk.
	But you be nice.
	We give them five minutes, and there'll be no trouble.
	It's like a shakedown.
	It is like a shakedown.
	You're right.
	But anyway, you got to play the game.
	Now, Ryan, I'm so fucking mad at you, which is nothing new.
	But, like, why don't you have a bunch of these celebrity faces?
	It could be a major part of this show.
	Our show could be as funny as this show.
	And you could be Bill Burr.
	You could be Jake Taffer.
	What's his name?
	John Taffer?
	John Taffer, yeah.
	You could be all these guys, but you just go home and noodle on your guitar.
	Shouldn't you just be in a band?
	Shouldn't you quit this job and be in a band?
	This is not your passion.
	That is not true.
	This is not true.
	I love my job.
	Okay, so you...
	What's this now?
	See what's Trump.
	I just downloaded this video.
	Frankly, big things going on.
	My lips are not really moving.
	They're not really moving.
	But we're doing Trump.
	I'm not the best at Trump, frankly.
	Everything woke turns to shit.
	Not sure why my lips are blue.
	Spent a little too much time in the pool, frankly.
	Very cold.
	Very cold.
	It's a cold pool.
	Cold pool.
	Cold world.
	Okay, so you've done that for me.
	Why don't you have 500, even just Trump?
	Say we could say, what does Trump think about this?
	Oh, yeah.
	I'd happy.
	Yeah, I just.
	Sounds good.
	I love that idea that you brought up six months ago.
	I don't love the idea of me just chiming in because I don't know if that would be a welcomed thing.
	But now that you're telling me it is, then I will chime in with some impressions.
	What?
	You're learning for the first time that we enjoy your only talent?
	Yes.
	But well, I mean, if you're just talking about something and I'm like, what would Jordan Peterson have to say about this?
	No, you don't add that.
	You just go, clean your room.
	Just like a video drop.
	Right.
	Like when rooms come up or something.
	I could do it more.
	But I'm talking about the faces, dude.
	Yeah, no, I. You failed at this so many times and then you always have your stupid bullshit excuse where you're like, yeah, yeah, no, the app only has like one face and you have to do it this way.
	That's not true.
	The phone app was a paid app.
	Yeah, but you didn't look up the right thing, like this dude, Jeff Daniels.
	Why is Jeff Daniels able to accomplish this thing?
	So I think they're both using the same thing I'm using right now, which is Snap Camera.
	Okay.
	The problem is, okay, see how that camera's on you there?
	No, that does not look like Kyle Dunnegan's slystone.
	It does not look like Jeff Daniels characters.
	That's because that is Donald Trump.
	Thanks, Ryan, you fucking boob.
	I'm talking about the way it wraps around the face.
	no, this is a different mask.
	This is a different style.
	So now, if you do this, now that's what you're, you know, that's on your face.
	That one's shitty.
	What about this one?
	This one's better.
	Sort of.
	My problem is now getting my face, feeding my camera into.
	Anyway, we don't want to bore the baby monsters with Minusha, but you work way too little.
	This has to change.
	You're here for fucking five hours a day, Max.
	You're getting paid 40 hours a week.
	You're putting in two-thirds of that.
	You need to start doing your job.
	And part of that is getting this set up.
	It's been months and months.
	I've been begging you to figure it out.
	And everyone else.
	Let's show some Jeff Daniels videos.
	This is a guy.
	He was a writer at SNL.
	Every comedian knows and loves him.
	No one's heard of him, including me.
	His stand-up career is a complete failure.
	Even at SNL, the only character he managed really to get on screen was Weekend Update's Drunk Girl, which was popular for a while in the Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon days.
	Anyway, as Ryan showed me, I didn't know this, but last night he showed me this guy has been doing celebrity interviews where he's got the cool digital face that I wish Ryan could figure out.
	And then he's talking to a real celebrity, or sometimes he's talking to himself.
	And the quality of these fucking videos, like look at that, look at the Dustin Hoffman one.
	Surrey is not on prescription medication.
	I try to, you know, try to teach my kids to mirror away from that very negative pathway.
	I take blood thinners.
	Oh, of course.
	It does.
	I take metamucil sometimes, but that's not in the same category.
	It's not prescription.
	No, not prescription.
	So I read Wikipedia.
	I was reading your Wikipedia.
	I was reading my Wikipedia.
	Wikipedia.
	My Wikipedia says.
	My Wikipedia says that I'm 5'6, and your Wikipedia says that you're 5'7.
	Somebody's lying.
	Right.
	Someone's lying.
	Well, you know.
	I take it with a truckload of salt, these Wikipedia people, whoever's behind it in the space.
	So he's doing Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman there.
	No, no, no, no, no, that's a different guy.
	Oh, it's a different person.
	Remember that guy that went viral for being Tom Cruise?
	Yeah, that's him.
	So this is a collaboration.
	Oh, and that guy doesn't look like Tom Cruise.
	He might look a little like Tom Cruise, but there's a Tom Cruise filter on that guy's face.
	I see.
	Yeah.
	See, why can't you have a face that good, Ryan?
	Why is this so much to ask?
	Like the Dustin Hoffman one.
	I was about to explain it to you.
	Okay.
	So see my camera here?
	I'd have to directly feed this into the camera.
	Okay, then pre-recorded or some shit.
	That's what we were saying before, and then we were looking for the app.
	But you've never done that.
	We're looking for the app.
	You're too busy noodling.
	I literally showed you the app.
	So how come he can do it?
	So can I explain the thing?
	So this camera is feeding into a computer.
	He's using a computer.
	It's this, you can use, probably, there's different ones, but this one's very effective, Snap camera.
	So the camera that feeds into the computer.
	But just do it on your desktop.
	Hold on a second.
	It can't...
	I'm not picking up from the tracking.
	But you record it on your laptop.
	So now we're pre-recording things.
	So now I just recorded it.
	Yeah, that's rocket science.
	Never heard of that before.
	So it's not going to be the chime in riff with whatever's going on.
	Well, not if that's not possible.
	Figure out a way.
	See, this is the way you operate.
	I go, Ryan, go do this thing.
	You go, and then you hit a wall and you go, oh, can't do it.
	The end.
	And then I check in like seven months later and you're like, oh, I bumped into a wall.
	Not like, okay, can't do it on this computer.
	I'll do it on a different computer.
	I'll have to pre-record it.
	We could pre-record it.
	Figure out a way.
	We could pre-record it.
	But, you know, it transforms from your original idea where I'm chiming in during the show.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's called figuring out a solution.
	You're not a fucking robot.
	Actually, robots are better.
	You have a Rhomba.
	It bumps into something.
	It moves around.
	You're like a broken Rhomba who just goes bong, bong, bong, bong.
	And then people go, why isn't that thing vacuuming?
	And he goes, well, its assignment was to go that way and it wasn't able to figure out anything else.
	So you'd like me to bring videos to the show?
	I can do that.
	Like, you think I'm going to say no?
	No.
	Do not bring cool shit to the show.
	I hate that.
	I'll bring cool shit to the show.
	Yeah.
	Maybe solve a problem for once in your life.
	Let's see more, Jeff Daniels.
	Richardson.
	Richardson.
	Not that one.
	Wait, where are they all?
	The George Lucas one is fair enough.
	Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
	I'm Dave, Dave Letterman, and this is the Jeff Richards show.
	I'm filling in for Jeff.
	I don't know what camera is.
	I don't know if he's okay.
	Be that as it may, we have to get on with the show.
	And I'm happy to have one of my most favorite entertainers of all time, 1995 to 2009.
	It's a little Midwest.
	Hey, how's it going?
	A little too Canadian, but it's fucking amazing.
	He's done over 107.
	And it's confusing because half the time the guy he's talking to is the guy.
	Like when he's talking to Tracy Morgan and Bill Burr and Daryl Hammond, it is those guys.
	But when he's talking to George Lucas, it isn't.
	He does Robert Danny Jr.
	Dude.
	Jamie, how you doing, buddy?
	What's up, man?
	This is Robert Downey Jr.
	I don't know if you were told, but Jeff's not going to be here today, and we're supposed to take over the interview.
	So I don't know if that's cool with you.
	I could go away or whatever.
	Dude, I love you, man.
	Are you kidding me?
	This is great.
	This is fantastic.
	Okay, so here's the deal.
	I wrote some questions.
	Some other people wrote some questions.
	We could do the questions.
	We could riff maybe a little bit of both.
	Okay.
	Do you remember we worked together?
	We did?
	Yeah.
	I remember.
	What was it?
	It was in Bofinger.
	All right, that's enough.
	Anyway, check him out.
	Quality entertainment, hours of fun is Louis, not Louis C.K., but Louis or Louis Anderson is fantastic.
	With Bill Burr on that one.
	Also, I'm fascinated by this incredibly pretty and dainty-looking Asian woman named Nina Lin, who lives in Chinatown, and she lives near African Americans.
	And if you grow up with blacks in China, I mean, sorry, in New York City, you become trash.
	So wait, before you show that, maybe show a different one.
	I think I had a link after that.
	Look, look, she talks like Cardi B. She's begging for a Pygmalion situation where Professor Higgins comes in and shows her how to enunciate and how to be a lady because she's fucking trash.
	Like if your friends saw you with her, they go, oh shit, you hooked up with a hot Asian girl.
	Then she opens her mouth.
	I remember this, Biach.
	Yeah, wasn't she on the back of a garbage truck?
	Yeah, during a BLM ride or some shit.
	And she's like, motherfucker, yo.
	I swear I ain't got no fucking COVID, but like, girl, have you ever had those fucking coughs?
	Well, like, you...
	Well, like, you cough?
	And bitch, you pee yourself like dead ass.
	It'd be like that.
	I swear I ain't got no fucking COVID.
	When you cough, you like, pee yourself, dead ass.
	Anyway, she snuck into the Met Gala, which is funny.
	Bitch.
	The button fucker, man.
	I'm inside.
	Wait, is that the beginning?
	No, go to the beginning.
	Where she buys, she puts on a suit.
	Met, bitch.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	I'm not invited.
	But it's okay.
	Because I bought a $300 suit and we finished it.
	That's not an expensive suit.
	And dirt, hold up.
	Peep this hobo fit.
	Peep this hobo fit.
	Y'all about to see me get lady, bitch.
	Stop playing.
	Don't worry, though.
	Right after I'm returning, so you gotta worry about that.
	Pup.
	She, stop playing with me.
	When was the last time I wore a motherfucking suit?
	Motherfucking.
	She a lawyer.
	Must go.
	Shit.
	Please the fifth, bitch, hurt.
	Last time I wore a mother.
	Guys, put the little idea here.
	We legit.
	Oh, we legit.
	Let's go.
	Don't get me started on the fake ice.
	Ah, this shit real though.
	Don't be afraid.
	Okay, then jump ahead.
	These ones are left.
	Way ahead.
	So I guess she sort of went by the hedge and just sort of oozed in.
	I was like, my energy patch, I had to send her a lens.
	Let's take care of the ocean.
	Wow, she's actually in.
	Never mind.
	I'm not sweating Volcex anymore.
	GQ and Instagram, I ain't sorry for screaming your videos because bitch.
	I'm not the med every damn day.
	Fuck.
	Who is she?
	Who are they?
	Hey.
	You're cool.
	Does she leave her highlight around like that?
	I don't know what's going on.
	It's like glare.
	It goes away at certain angles.
	It's contouring.
	Is it like silver?
	I think it's silver makeup.
	Could be silver makeup, but I know bitches be contouring their face like that, too.
	Yes, we're aware of contouring.
	But she didn't blend in her highlights.
	No, I don't think it's that simple.
	It's some sort of glare.
	So at some point, she has to get past the hedges.
	He's a runner.
	He's a textbook.
	She made a YouTube video.
	She's a TikToker.
	She made a YouTube video just for this.
	Okay, that's her sneaking in, I think.
	All right, that's enough.
	Let's start the show.
	Enough fluff.
	Insanity on college campus.
	This is a viral video going around.
	A guy has a Police Lives Matter sign on his laptop, which is racist.
	And they say, you're invading our space.
	This is white culture doesn't belong here.
	There's no such thing as white culture.
	Universities are white culture.
	I'm sorry.
	Yes, the Indians used to have secondary education.
	That doesn't really follow the university structure that we still mimic today.
	That goes back to, obviously, Europe.
	After the fall of the Roman Empire, the Catholic Church had to rebuild society, and with that became a bunch of rules and laws, and they needed experts to run the society.
	So they set up universities.
	There was Paris, there was Oxford, there was Bologna.
	Bologna, I believe it's pronounced.
	And there was, of course, Glasgow University, which was the first to say, thank you, church, for setting these up, but we're on our own now.
	We want to separate church and state, which is really the fundamentals of Western society, which is why Arthur Herman says that the Scots invented the modern world because they were the first to separate church and state.
	Anyway, that's what they sh well, hold on.
	I was going to say, that's what they should have said, but should they have said this?
	They know they're going viral, right?
	They know these women are going to come across as assholes.
	Maybe it is smarter to play dumb and just be like, what?
	What?
	And let them hang themselves.
	Because now the school is getting harassed by normal people saying, why are you harassing?
	Why is it okay to harass these kids?
	So maybe playing possum was kind of a good move here.
	What did I do wrong?
	You have a bad.
	You're offensive.
	Police Lives Matter?
	You have the same sticker.
	We're just trying to do school.
	What?
	You guys have the same sticker of the other.
	But this is our space.
	We've got a police lives matter sticker and we're getting kicked out.
	Can't do school.
	Nobody's kicking school.
	You just said we have to leave.
	No, I said you're making the space uncomfortable.
	But you're white.
	Do you understand what a multicultural space?
	It means you're not being centered.
	It's not a culture.
	No.
	Stop.
	So they're both uncomfortable.
	He said, you're making me uncomfortable.
	But you're white.
	So whites cannot feel uncomfortable, meaning they're not capable.
	It's not a relevant emotion.
	But if blacks feel uncomfortable anywhere, people of color, so it could be Lebanese, Polynesian, some fucking Polynesian aristocrat who had her ass wiped her whole life.
	If she shows up and sees like a guy who likes cops.
	You're in a white institution.
	She just said there's no such thing as white culture.
	Your phone was made by white men.
	You're in a European institution.
	You're speaking a European language.
	You're welcome.
	White is not a culture.
	Say it again to the camera.
	You think whiteness is a culture?
	This is insane.
	So anyways, this is the violence that ASU does, and this is the type of people that they protect.
	Okay?
	This white man thinks he can take up our space and this is why we need a multicultural space because they think they can get away with this shit.
	I'm going to sit here the whole time and you can find somebody to keep it down.
	That's cool.
	We will.
	We're asking you to leave if you have any consideration for people of color and emotionalization.
	Yeah.
	The whole rest of the campus.
	The second floor, the first floor, the whole MU.
	Every single part of the campus centers you.
	This is the only space that you're not centered and you're still trying to center yourself, which is peak white cis male bullshit.
	What is that section?
	You are racist.
	Your sticker is racist because police, that's a job.
	You can choose to be a police.
	I don't choose to be black.
	Wait, wait, stop.
	Help me out here.
	I didn't choose to be black.
	So it's a given that blacks are killed by cops.
	And she's also saying, yes, I know cops get killed, but cops signed up for that.
	So they're not allowed to complain.
	Because cops entered, it's sort of like signing up for a war.
	So soldiers die in war, but that's just the way it is.
	Innocent Cambodian civilians getting firebombed, they didn't sign up.
	I mean, I'm just trying to understand her logic here.
	I think that's what she's going for.
	But the problem is that blacks are not being killed by cops.
	And cops are getting killed by blacks.
	And no, you don't sign up to die when you sign up to be a cop.
	No one signs up to die.
	Fucking Green Berets, they don't want to die.
	The only people who sign up to die are jihadists.
	Wrong culture, lady.
	So it's at this point where I kind of wished, and this is naive of me, I kind of wished he had said, who do you think invented your phone, this table, this backpack, this shirt?
	Who do you think developed your hair products?
	Who do you think designed your shoes?
	Do you want to go through it all?
	Do you want to go through the architecture of this building?
	The carpeting?
	The fibers?
	Do you want to talk about who developed the fibers for this carpet?
	The vacuums that clean it?
	The steam cleaner that cleans it?
	Steam cleaning in general?
	Should we go through all of this right now?
	If they did that, that would be racist.
	Oh my God, Ryan did his job for once.
	Hey.
	Kirp.
	It's got to work out.
	Why is Kirp in the show now?
	I don't know.
	Oh, my God.
	Ryan's accomplished something, folks.
	This is our Juneteenth.
	This is a special Juneteenth.
	What is this?
	It's September 24th.
	This is our Septorth.
	The day of our Lord.
	Septorth, the day Ryan accomplished something.
	Hey.
	Let me get an O. O. Is that what he does?
	No, time for a yo.
	Time for a yo.
	Okay.
	Thank you for doing it.
	But didn't you just spend the first part of this entire show explaining why that's impossible?
	What I did was I figured it out in my bed.
	I was like, how do I get this camera?
	I'm Skyping myself.
	I'm Skyping the other computer.
	So it's not sustainable, but it's not.
	It's not sustainable.
	Why?
	What's going to happen?
	Oh, never mind.
	I'm just worried about the audio.
	The audio.
	It's feeding.
	The audio is going to die?
	I got them both muted, but...
	Yeah, I think everything's sustained.
	But it's not sustainable?
	I don't think it's sustainable.
	Why don't you and Ryan from 10 minutes ago argue amongst yourselves?
	Because it's getting a little pedantic constantly explaining shit to you.
	I think there's a better way, is what I'm saying.
	You always need the last word, and it's always stupid.
	Go ahead.
	No, you can choose to be a cop.
	You can choose to kill people with a badge, and you're protecting that shit, which means that you're racist.
	I know, I know, but this offends us automatically because these people kill people like me and like us, right?
	So you're promoting our murderers.
	So please just don't.
	You're promoting our murderers.
	To say Police Lives Matter...
	Wait, wait, go back, go back.
	I want to hear this.
	So to say Police Lives Matter promotes those two girls' murders.
	Can I see what you two ladies are taking in class, please?
	Can I read your last essay?
	And if I remove every essay in every class where it's not you whining about white hegemony and oppression, is there anything left?
	Is there any of your education that's not bitching?
	I don't think so.
	I don't think there's one like geography class where you're learning about Central America and the difference between Honduras and Guatemala.
	There's none of that.
	There's no, not One minute of valid education in her entire academic career, is my guess.
	Not a minute.
	She's not learning one salient thing her entire $250,000 career.
	But I think that guy might be speaking up for them.
	Asian guy, yeah, yeah.
	He's going to say something controversial like police don't deserve to die.
	People are murderers.
	So please just learn.
	People are murderers.
	So please just don't use that sticker.
	Bethany negative.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	So why should that bother you?
	Because do you understand that Police Lives Matter was in response to Black Lives Matter?
	Yeah, that's fine.
	And you have everywhere.
	I'm working 60 hours a week while going to school because my parents don't just give me money.
	It doesn't matter.
	Okay, it doesn't matter.
	What's that got to do with anything?
	Because they think he's entitled or some shit.
	Probably.
	Oh, I think.
	They assume a racist assumption.
	But what I don't like is that he finally got the courage to stand up after the Asian guy came up.
	If you're alone, you can still stand up for yourself.
	I mean, yo.
	See how well this is working out?
	Don't you feel stupid for making shitty, retarded excuses for the first 10 minutes of the show?
	I'm happy that I figured it out.
	Yes.
	The man can't learn.
	He's never wrong.
	Do this.
	It can't be done.
	It does it.
	I'm happy I figured it out.
	I did say I just got it and I have to figure this out.
	Oh, you very.
	All right.
	I think that's going to bring us to the green screen.
	Because the big topic with me and Kangaroo this week has been the whole missing white woman.
	And I think it's time we showed you guys that there's a missing murdered woman.
	And the media never talks about it.
	And I think I know why.
	So the hypothesis of the Joyanne Reeds of the world is that we see black, missing black women and we go, eh, yuck, they probably deserve to die.
	And then we see a white woman and we go, oh no.
	Dude, you're not paying attention to the cases.
	Lacey Peterson was a very intense case.
	If you had a normal, functioning, happy black family wherein the black woman was pregnant and she was about to give birth and then on Christmas Eve, her black middle-class husband went fishing as she vanished.
	And then we were wondering if she was chopped up in Tupperware in the bay.
	That would be a huge fucking story.
	And if a black couple were vlogging their travels and the black girl vanished, it would probably be bigger than Gabby Petito because people love that kind of shit.
	Joy Reed, of course, disagrees and says that we ignore dead blacks all the time, which got me thinking, we ignore dead whites all the time and have been doing so since the early 90s.
	No, since before that.
	They're doing some construction next door.
	I hope you don't have to hear it.
	It's very annoying and loud.
	So I want to give you about how many women do I have here, people?
	I've got 15.
	15 brutal murders of whites that didn't garner any kind of rioting, didn't garner any George Floydness.
	The first one that's not on this list, just to get things rolling, is, and I want you to notice when I'm doing this, how unfamiliar the names are.
	Who's Trisha Melly?
	Trisha Melly was the woman who I kind of want to put her on a murdered list because it is an absolute biblical miracle that she survived.
	She was gang raped by five men.
	Plenty of evidence.
	The only evidence that it didn't happen is some asshole said, no, I did it.
	Who was already, I think, on death row, an absolute fucking lunatic Hispanic guy, who may well have also raped her.
	This was a free-for-all, while and out, kids were doing all the time.
	Of course, in the Netflix show, The Way They See Us, or whatever it's called, they are wearing sweater vests and little polos, and they're, I think they're on their way to violin lessons.
	Where is Trisha Melly, the Central Park jogger, now?
	So I mentioned this earlier.
	She does seminars on surviving brain injuries, and it must fucking murder her again to turn on MSNBC and see these assholes who have made millions of dollars in wrongful conviction suits.
	What?
	Be called the exonerated five.
	But that's not the link I put, is it, Ryan?
	Yeah, Distractify.
	Pull her up.
	What are you doing?
	Why did you find a different article?
	Vox?
	We don't use Vox.
	There she is, beautiful woman, very intelligent, and now she does medical seminars to talk about her fucking mashed in brains and how she managed to get them working again.
	She's a living test subject.
	She's a medical miracle to this day.
	Now, this happened back in the 80s.
	How come no one ever talks about her?
	When they talk about the exonerated five, they always ignore her.
	It's like the 9-11 Truthers.
	Their Achilles heel is a family of some of the victims.
	That's when they get all nervous.
	Okay, so let's start with this couple.
	And you should always bring up this couple when people talk about white privilege and crime and how white victims are the ultimate victims and they get All this attention when black victims never get anything.
	One and two, Channon Christensen and Christopher Newsom.
	This is out in Kansas City, I believe.
	Maybe it was Knoxville, Tennessee, somewhere down south.
	These two were hunted for sport.
	They were seen as perfect victims.
	Now, the way the media and BLM, whatever, those two girls we just saw in the college, the way they would portray this is a crime.
	There was a crime, two people were attacked.
	No.
	This was a hate crime.
	They went out hunting for white people.
	They saw this beautiful young couple and they said, let's steal them.
	Just like a safari hunt.
	And they stole them.
	They took them back to the place they were staying at.
	There was about five black people.
	I think there was two females and three males.
	Maybe dig that up, Brian.
	And they proceeded to torture them for days.
	Kick the shit out of them.
	Rape them.
	They raped the woman to death.
	And then they also raped the man.
	They raped him after robbing him.
	And they were laughing and drinking and doing crack and having a gay old time.
	And just torturing them.
	Like, you know how I criticize Arabs and I say they'll cut off a dog's ears and then watch the dog whimper and then laugh at it?
	This is the way they were treating that couple.
	Kicking them, shoving them, stabbing them, cutting them, torturing them.
	Sub-animal.
	This is lower than animals.
	You don't see animals treating other animals like this.
	Animals tend to just sort of eat.
	If it's prey, they get the food, whatever, and then they leave.
	This was days of torture.
	So what they did with him is they sodomized him with a pole, ripped his anus to shreds.
	He's got internal bleeding, right?
	They beat him more.
	They shoot him several times.
	They shoot him.
	They drag him out to the train tracks and they shoot him in the back of the head.
	Now with her, they keep her alive and they keep raping her.
	They torture her.
	They got a white woman here.
	They're laughing.
	They're enjoying it.
	In all the cases that I'm showing you today, these people were laughing and talking about how we caught a white.
	We caught a white woman.
	And in most cases, they went out planning to go and get whites and get good at getting whites, if you will.
	This was the plan.
	This is not a robbery gone wrong.
	This is not a drug deal where someone accidentally shot someone.
	This is a planned racial attack that the media ignored.
	And spoiler alert, the given, I think, with most people who look this up is that they didn't want to expose this because the crimes are so horrific that it would lead to racial strife and racial tension and black murder and stuff like that.
	I even have a dad later on begging people to calm down, Missy McLaughlin's father.
	But I don't think it's that.
	I believe the reason the media ignores this is much simpler.
	I believe they ignore it because it's too graphic, it's too disgusting, it's too scary.
	And they know that couples and families are watching the news sometimes at dinner time, and they don't want to make people puke.
	So my personal theory is the reason you don't hear about the sadism, the fucking cruelty, the mind-blowing evil behind black-on-white hate crimes is that whites simply can't stomach it.
	Well, we can stomach it.
	So let's get stomaching.
	Anyway, they put Shannon, she's got a strange spelling, it's like Shannon with the C. They put Shannon in the shower, they forced her, she's still alive, to scrub herself, wash her vagina with bleach.
	They're trying to get all their DNA off of her.
	They make her put bleach up her vagina.
	Then they take her out, they pour bleach down her throat, they light her on fire, and she burns alive.
	Then they try to get a hold of the bodies, and they're not successful.
	They are caught.
	Here's another one that's very recent.
	Justine Damond.
	We talked about her the other day.
	Why have we not heard anything about Justine Damond?
	George Floyd's perpetrator, the man who is blamed for killing him, again, George had fatal doses of fentanyl.
	George was a career criminal.
	The cop who was there when he OD'd and had his knee on his back, what, is in prison for 20 years.
	You know, he has to represent himself in his appeal because no lawyer will go near him.
	Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gine, Charles Manson, they all had lawyers.
	Derek Chauvin cannot even get a public defender to take the case.
	That's got to be illegal, isn't it?
	So he's representing himself in his appeal, and he should appeal.
	20 years in prison is fucking insane for that.
	And you know he's going to get attacked in prison.
	Anyway, Somalian affirmative action hire shows up in Minnesota.
	She calls the police.
	She hears something scary going on.
	She shows up.
	Oh, thank God she's Australian.
	Thank God you hear.
	Shoots her, I believe from his car, because he was so scared of a person showing up.
	She's dead.
	That's murder.
	That's a level of incompetence that equals murder.
	Here's another case that brings us to 4, 5, 6, and 7.
	Eight.
	This was the Long Island Railroad.
	Victim's family still mourning 20 years after the Long Island Railroad massacre.
	Did that appear on your radar?
	Do you remember this?
	Have you ever heard of any of these names?
	Amy Federici, James Gorkik, Gori, Goricki, James Goricki, Maria Teresa Tumagon Magato, that sounds kind of Filipina.
	Dennis McCarthy, oh, you've got all their names.
	Richard Nettleton.
	And then Mai Kyung Kim.
	So this guy hates whites.
	He went out on the Long Island Railroad and started shooting everyone in the car, murdering them All execution style, one by one.
	He made it very clear he was going out to kill whites.
	Now, Asians are part of this for some reason.
	If you hate whites, you hate Asians too.
	I don't quite understand the logic, but that's the way it works.
	All of these people were murdered because they were white.
	This man, this Jamaican man, what's his name?
	Pick up his name right?
	It should be in the...
	Tolin Ferguson?
	Tom Ferguson.
	Colin, yeah, that's it.
	Colin Ferguson clearly said, I hate white people.
	I've been watching, I don't know, videos about Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.
	I want revenge.
	And he went out and he got revenge on white people.
	No riots, no parades, no memories, no t-shirts, no statues, no nothing.
	Just a bunch of people murdered for their skin color.
	One of them murdered because she's sitting near whites.
	Actually, two of them, I guess two Asian women, were murdered because they were near whites and white people deserved to die.
	No, that's a different woman, Ryan.
	Okay, we're up to nine now.
	And this is, again, a random sampling.
	If you want me to get into the real numbers, it's hundreds of thousands.
	But here's nine I've chose you that are way more worthy of any attention than George Floyd and got maybe a hundredth, a fraction of one percent of the attention.
	Missy McLaughlin is one of the most disturbing ones.
	So she gets in a fight with her boyfriend.
	She's walking home.
	A bunch of guys pick her up.
	Black dudes pick her up in the car.
	Now these black dudes, it was male and female, right?
	And they've been partying all day and watching a lot of porn, watching a lot of black guys fuck white women.
	And they're like, I fuck, the women are like, I fucking hate white women.
	They make me sick.
	And the blacks are like, I hate them too, but I want to fuck one.
	And they go, why don't we fuck one and then kill it?
	Okay.
	So they're driving around late at night.
	They find her walking home.
	And by the way, the moral of the story here is if you get in a fight with your girlfriend when she's drunk, do not let her walk home alone.
	No matter how bad the fight is.
	So they pick her up.
	They gang raped and tortured her.
	Then they invited two more black males to join in the gang rape, telling them, we captured a white woman.
	Two of the rapists' black girlfriends even watched and cheered them on.
	Her body was found on the side of the highway, shot five times.
	A note containing anti-white racial slurs was attached to the body, just so there's no doubts about why this woman was raped and beaten to death.
	Four of the black men were quickly arrested, and they told the police the savage crime was payback for racial oppression.
	They claimed ringleader Gardner told them, my New Year's resolution is to kill a white bitch.
	They shot her in the face five fucking times so she wouldn't be recognized.
	And she lived.
	Can you imagine the gargling mess that was her face when she was discovered?
	The person who discovered her called an ambulance.
	By the time the ambulance got there, which wasn't long, she had bled out.
	She was dead.
	Face ripped to shreds, five point-blank bullet shots to the head.
	And the father, of course, urged racial calm.
	Please don't get revenge.
	Do you have that link right after the bottom there?
	Please don't start riots.
	Father of victim urges racial calm.
	Now that's the obvious takeaway is that we hide these stories because we don't want racial tension.
	I don't think it is.
	I think it's too disgusting.
	I mean, aren't you uncomfortable right now picturing that woman's gargling face with five bullet wounds in it?
	I am.
	I don't feel like going out and punching a black kid in the face, but I am disgusted.
	And I'm disgusted by Joy Reed and all this bullshit about how we live in a racist society where a sticker on a kid's laptop makes people feel unsafe.
	This makes people feel unsafe because they are.
	10, 11, 12, 13, 14, Brad Heike, Heather Mueller, Aaron Sander, Jason Bieford, and a woman who I think was below, she wasn't of age, so she's just called Holly G. And this is,
	of course, the Wichita Massacre, pretty similar to the Shannon Christian and Christopher Newsom thing, where they kidnapped two couples, sorry, five people.
	So three men and two women.
	They kidnapped them and they raped these women over the course of several hours while the men were tied up and held at gunpoint.
	Actually, I think they were free to go after a while, like not tied up.
	So one wonders why.
	Oh, it was three guys and one woman, sorry.
	So they repeatedly raped this.
	There was one more not shown.
	Oh, yeah, sorry, that's it.
	Holly G, I believe.
	Holly G isn't shown.
	So the two women were raped repeatedly while these guys were held at gunpoint.
	Like, I don't want to criticize the dead.
	I wasn't there, but could you not have bum-rushed the show?
	Even if one of you died?
	So they attacked...
	Wait, is this the guy?
	No, this is where you got a drop of the position.
	Oh.
	So the Carr brothers had made it very clear they hate white people and wanted to punish them.
	And they found these people.
	They raped the women repeatedly.
	And then at gunpoint, they took all five of them around to various ATMs to empty their bank accounts.
	They got their money and then they murdered them because they were white.
	The Carr brothers talked about their plan to kidnap, torture, and rob and rape white people.
	They accomplished this goal.
	Why don't we ever hear about the Carr brothers?
	Why has no one, including me, ever seen these names before?
	All right, number 15, Tessa Majors.
	Where's the riots?
	She's here in New York City going to Columbia.
	She goes to buy weed, which is dumb.
	She doesn't have much street smarts.
	I wish her parents had instilled in her the dangers of going to a Random park.
	This park in New York is famous for street crime and gangs and rape.
	And she went in there and she was shot dead while trying to buy weed.
	She will have no future.
	There's no riots for her, no statues, no laws.
	I can't remember what's happening to the perps, but it's no 20 years in prison like Derek Chauvin.
	So anyway, we could go on and on for hours at this, but the point is that this missing white woman bullshit is incredibly insulting because the white-controlled media purposely throws stories like this under the rug because we can't stomach the brutal sadism of black-on-white hate crimes.
	I mean, it's ironic that I'm talking about how this isn't reported because it's a bummer, and now I feel bad reporting it because it's a bummer.
	But suffice to say, the next time someone talks about how hard it is for black people, you should go, the level of sadism in black-on-white hate crimes is so harsh that you don't know about most of those cases because the news is too scared to make you puke reporting on it.
	And then I think if they say, give me an example, the best one is always Channel Christian and Christopher Newsom.
	I think they call it like the Tennessee massacre or something.
	Pull that up.
	Because we have to learn something from this and there has to be a trick.
	I mean, Cernovich has that clip in his movie.
	I forget the name of the movie.
	Was it called Censored?
	No.
	And he shows on his phone that massacre that happened where the black guy shot up the white church and no one had heard of it.
	Yeah, this is the guy trying to put it on everyone else.
	But look up those two names, Channon and Christopher Newsom, and see if there's a name for that particular massacre like on Wikipedia or something.
	It's one of the most wildly underreported cases in American history, and it's also one of the most disgusting.
	If a group of fucking rednecks kidnapped a cute young black couple, I mean, it's unfathomable.
	Beat them and rape them and laughing, say, we caught some niggers.
	We're raping them right now.
	Shot them, murdered the boy execution style.
	Can you imagine?
	Dude, it would be like a National Day of Reckoning.
	The Knoxville horror, I guess.
	Torture slings is another one.
	The most common one, murders of Channon Christian and Christopher.
	And then people go, you said it's not reported on.
	I looked it up.
	It's everywhere.
	Oh, really?
	Those are all Knoxville local news stations.
	All right.
	That's kind of intense and heavy.
	And negative Nelly.
	Let's try to lighten things up a little bit, shall we?
	Yes.
	Here's a fun thing.
	Did you know that at the border, they're tossing all their ID away?
	They throw away...
	The reason Haitian migrants discard their Chilean and Brazilian ID cards over here on the Mexico side is to obscure from asylum viewers, reviewers, that they were already safely and prosperously situated for years and years before coming in for the American upgrade.
	It's all a scam.
	What a joke.
	All right, I want to talk about how much I hate pit bulls, but we always lose subscribers when I bitch about dogs.
	And we have a lot of pit bull owners who say there's no bad dogs.
	It's just the owners.
	Maybe we won't do this today.
	Yeah, let's save that for Monday.
	I've had enough negative talk.
	Let's see if the letters page can cheer us up.
	As long as you don't talk about tigers.
	I'm the tiger tape.
	Yeah, well, tigers are probably a stupid pet to have also.
	No, they're not stupid.
	They're exotic.
	They're sexy.
	When you get near a tiger, like some feeling is sexy.
	Tigers are sexy?
	Yeah.
	Doesn't sexy imply sex?
	Do you fuck tigers?
	No, but you lay next to them, you feed them, you pit him, and you fuck Carol goddamn Baskins.
	Oh, not Carol Baskins again, dude.
	He's literally the worst, you know?
	I'm rotting in jail.
	She's over there.
	What do you think she's doing?
	Crocheting?
	She's not about this life.
	The tiger life.
	If she was, she'd be the tiger queen.
	We could make love.
	She is the tiger queen, isn't she?
	No.
	He doesn't have time for that.
	The tiger king.
	Neilbeck?
	Yeah.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
	Let's turn the grace against me.
	Let me touch it.
	I don't have anything since yesterday.
	What?
	What's going on, dude?
	Wait, that's crazy.
	What?
	That's crazy.
	Oh, I got one from 301.
	Oh, you might have to do a little.
	I think my McPuter needs to update.
	My kids called it a McPuter, which is why I do such a thing.
	You know what I was talking about at the gym today with the guy, working-class dude, fireman?
	I'm upper-middle-class, so we have different, we live in different areas, but we're the same guy.
	But he has a kid.
	His kids are my kids' ages exactly.
	And I go, once my youngest boy turned 12, well, both my older kids, when they turned 12, they started to suss out their own social lives.
	By adolescence, they're doing it.
	And I don't tell them what to do.
	They ask me if I can pick them up or drop them off and stuff, but they handle their own social life.
	But with my eight-year-old, I got to set up play dates.
	And it's not easy because I'm a Nazi.
	But he has trouble too because he's a single dad.
	And it's weird to call up a woman and be like, hello, can my son come over to your house?
	Like, what if the dad answers and you're the single dad going, hello, can I have a play date?
	It's not really a man's job.
	It's creepy, really, to call a married woman and say, can I come over with my kid?
	And then we were like, well, when did we start tooling around?
	And I'm going to say in the 70s in the suburbs.
	Seven?
	Eight?
	Seven or eight.
	What about you and your shithole disgusting projects in the Bronx?
	Frankly, we would go out to play as young as five, maybe six, seven, and you would run around with your friends, and frankly, you'd hang out.
	Your nose is kind of weird.
	It is.
	It's kind of longer.
	There's a different one that's a little better, but there's no hair.
	You know.
	Very weird.
	No hair.
	Okay.
	You know, Mr. Trump, I work with a guy named Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	Great guy.
	Who says this is an impossible thing to do, and though I asked him almost a year ago to figure it out, he assured me that it was impossible.
	It's not impossible, but it's using an entire computer.
	And usually my workflow here kind of depends on me having two computers.
	We're going to think of a better way.
	Go.
	But the big picture is that Ryan was not wrong.
	Again.
	Not wrong.
	I mean, he wasn't quite right, but that doesn't mean he's wrong.
	Interesting twist.
	Okay.
	King of the twist.
	My shit still hasn't updated, bro.
	Oh, here we go.
	Finally.
	This is from Tim.
	I cannot believe.
	I'll never get over the fact that our readers are scared that I'll use their names.
	You know what?
	Why'd you lose your job?
	I wrote a letter to a show, and the show is rude.
	You know what I saw?
	I was watching Talking Sopranos with the two guys from the Sopranos, and they had fans come on the show, and the guy was like, I'm a professor.
	And I'm like, dude, what are you doing?
	Why would you tell people?
	It's so confusing of a notion that people would reveal what they do, what the fuck they do.
	Because you have PTSD from this show.
	I'm like, what are you doing?
	Yeah, I feel that way when I see MSNBC people with, here's me and my kids.
	Like, don't show your kids' face.
	Oh, yeah, you're on the evil side.
	Nobody's going to fire.
	No one's going to threaten your children.
	I want to put my daughter in boarding school.
	I don't think she, I don't want her to leave New York.
	She likes it too much.
	So when we move down south, I want to put her in boarding school.
	And then my wife pointed out, you can't get into any boarding schools.
	If anyone knows any New York boarding schools that would accept a Nazi's daughter, please let me know in the comments.
	She'll be 16, so it'll just be maybe a year or two.
	Hey, Gavin Rye, gay.
	Ouch.
	On Thursday's show, you read out Joe Tonelli's Down Syndrome-esque ramblings disguised as a resume.
	And I just could not sit there and let this cat CPR story just fly by without actually checking its authenticity.
	Now, I was fully aware that he's probably New York's top bullshit artist, so I braced myself for disappointment.
	But I started to look into back issues of the daily item.
	Amazingly, on November 9th, 1981, there is indeed a front-page story of a certain Joseph Tonelli giving mouth to mouth on a fucking cat.
	What?
	That's a double damn.
	What?
	No.
	No, this has got to be some online fucking.
	Joe's stupidest lie is the only thing he's ever said that's truthful.
	Meowed thanks.
	Prince Kim 2 is resting comfortably and in stable condition today thanks to quick action by Rai volunteer firefighter Joe Tonelli.
	Okay, no, it's still bullshit.
	No, it's not.
	No, stable.
	It was critical but stable condition.
	This just says stable.
	And the 16-year-old Siamese cat, Bala Tonelli, after responding to a house fire at 21 Walker Avenue, found the cat upstairs.
	That's true.
	Well, that goes with his story.
	Passed out and suffering from smoke inhalation.
	He performed cardiopulmonary resuscitation to save its life.
	Prince's owner touched Smith.
	And nothing but praise for the department and Tanelli.
	I can't say enough about how the fire department handled the situation.
	I cannot fucking believe this.
	Wait, no, no, no.
	What?
	Schmidt said yesterday they handled it superbly, but not just with the fire, but also with my wife and I. Tonelli did something beyond the Call of Duty.
	It's not a joke.
	Tonelli and Fire Chief Wayne Elmore were unavailable.
	Yeah, because they're too brave.
	They don't stick around.
	Thank you, Masked Man.
	He did not think Tonelli used...
	Oh, but volunteer Chris Foster said he did not think Tonelli used mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
	We have an oxygen tank that fits over the person's mouth and nose, and I guess that's what they use to revive it, he said.
	Schmidt's wife, Barbara, arrived home and saw the smoke, blah, blah, blah.
	Two other cats were down.
	Humans performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on animals is not that abnormal, he said.
	We don't get many cases, but it definitely can be done, veterinarian Gary Yarnell said.
	Wow.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	Sometimes the falseness will be complaints.
	Sometimes the Jo Tonelli stories will be true.
	They're so fake, they're real.
	Wow.
	They loop back around into reality.
	That is going to the pub, folks.
	Wow.
	Holy shit.
	Wow.
	Maybe his compulsive lying is relatively new.
	Another COVID observation.
	My mother-in-law, who lives in Florida, pointed this out.
	But if there was such a huge increase in deaths from the Chinese lab virus, then why do we not see funeral processions all the time blocking the roadways?
	Yeah.
	Well, we had that Milton Keynes guy come up.
	Got a lot of shit from British people, by the way, telling us Milton Keynes sucks.
	Pretty sure that's where I went to meet Tommy Robinson at a beautiful pub on a cobblestone street.
	So maybe it mostly sucks, but it's got some nice areas.
	But yeah, that funeral home operator in Britain said nothing's changed.
	It's been the same number of bodies he's picked up forever.
	It's just these ones all get called COVID.
	I'm sure someone else has pointed this out, but a centrifuge does not test for COVID, aka the Chinese lab virus.
	PCR testing involves amplification of the DNA sample to look for certain base pairs of DNA that we have identified as coming from the virus.
	The polymerase chain reaction was discovered in the early 80s and can take a very minute sample of DNA and amplify to the extent we can see it using electrophoresis.
	What centrifuge does is separate different molecules based on their mass.
	Take a sample of blood and spin it really fast and the cells because they weigh more will be at the bottom of the tube and the serum and the other proteins at the top or in more detail at different layers and you can suck out with a pipette.
	It's just gravity doing the work.
	When they talk about cycles they mean each blah blah this is pretty boring dude.
	You could have a couple of viruses in your nose or even a dead virus not as much needed to have illness but if you amplify that enough you could test positive.
	Yeah so six of one has half a dozen the other this is fucking you're being pedantic sir new video drop from Andy Brown.
	Oops I just said his name this is ancient Chinese secret please stop sending me this I get it once a fucking day guys when you send me a video drop you may want to check the date and the views 2.5 million views from the spring means I've probably come across it before wait why can't you load it dumbass because democracy basically means government by the people
	elevator ride to about 1600 feet and for that it's all about climbing how high am i oh a million of course you have to bring All your tools with you.
	That's the red bag hanging below.
	It weighs about 30 pounds, and you pull it up behind you all the way to the top.
	It's a lot like a spacewalk, where you have to remember to bring everything you're going to do.
	Who cleans up all the shit that streams up the deck when you're climbing it?
	Yeah, he's got no harness, and I have no balls.
	My scrutal sack is condensed right now.
	It's like contracting.
	Don't look down.
	I'd be worried about getting so scared I faint.
	This is the pole that the antenna is mounted on top of.
	Itches there for extra height.
	Oh, cool.
	Yeah, that's what you need up there.
	Yeah, it gives you a little extra.
	My balls are being eaten by an alligator right now.
	Do you feel any sensation in your nuts?
	I don't have any nuts right now.
	I'm not kidding.
	Does your testicles...
	Do they feel anything?
	I'm numb to this one now.
	I don't know why.
	This used to really bother me.
	And it's not a hard time.
	Oh, good.
	While you rest.
	You clip it while you rest.
	Free climbing is more dangerous, of course.
	Oh.
	But OSHA rules do allow for it.
	Attaching, climbing, attaching, and removing safety lines every few minutes.
	It's weird.
	We went on these rope bridge tours in Costa Rica.
	And my eldest boy, I said, do your balls feel weird?
	And as I was saying that, my youngest boy comes up and he goes, do your balls feel weird?
	So my eldest boy felt nothing.
	His balls are normal.
	And then me and my youngest boy, our balls were like all tied up.
	It's the baby ball thing.
	What's the problem up there that you got to fix?
	Something broke?
	Look at it.
	What are you going to do?
	Weld it?
	What if you get zapped?
	What if a thunderstorm breaks out and lightning starts going?
	You're going to be the first to go.
	Yeah, I'd say they checked the weather beforehand, but it looks pretty cloudy to me.
	Yeah.
	They have things to deter birds from landing, but birds can't get up that high.
	Birds start shitting their pants.
	That thing that they used to deter birds from going up there is the height, which it is.
	This helps to dissipate the charges before they build up to create a lightning strike.
	God, yeah, I'd just be thinking, what if I faint?
	Now we've reached the base of the antenna.
	From here, it's just another 60 feet to the top.
	Oh, is that all?
	Sheesh.
	60 more feet, and we're good to go, boys.
	That doesn't look very climb-friendly.
	No, it doesn't.
	It looks like it wasn't meant to be.
	I like the cage before.
	That I could have worked with.
	This is just like, I don't know, figure it out.
	My nuts are being clenched right now.
	Between molars.
	Wait, how did they get all that shit there in the first place?
	Just cranes, I guess.
	Wait, what?
	No, a crane would not go that high.
	Wait, how do they do that?
	Well, yeah, it must be cranes.
	Huh.
	They build it on its side and then just tip it up?
	Oh, no.
	That's a funny, but maybe, who knows, way.
	Okay, you're at the top of the universe now.
	It is here where you can talk to God himself.
	It is here where you start floating because there's no gravitational pull.
	It's here where you are now a space object.
	It's here where they picked up Luke Skywalker after he had his hand cash.
	Still plugging going, huh?
	Time for another break.
	Seeing storm clouds, he checks on the lightning conditions.
	If a storm's blowing through, there's no quick way down.
	Give this homie a parachute, dog.
	Because then that would be fun to jump off a parachute.
	What does he make an hour?
	A billion dollars?
	Just anything you want.
	My feet are sweating right now.
	Oh, my feet actually are sweating.
	But that could just be because of my shoes.
	I'm telling you, this used to bother me way more.
	I'm thinking maybe I watched that pre-skydiving, and then afterwards, you're just like...
	Yeah, that seems like a kind of an efficient way to get down.
	Just have a parachute.
	Yeah.
	And time for another break.
	Oh, repels?
	He just said there's no quick way down.
	It's not like they've invented a thing where if you jump off, you pull a lever and all of a sudden you're lowered to the ground.
	You can see 55 miles to the horizon.
	You know what?
	You got to be on the spectrum.
	My hands are drenched with sweat.
	They're shiny.
	Would you ever skydive?
	No.
	Nope.
	I can't wait to do that again.
	His partner below him wears a helmet to deflect the shit.
	I wasn't scared of heights before, but now I am.
	Maybe it's being a dad.
	Someone else noticed that Joe's not lying?
	Oh, well, yeah.
	Sure enough.
	These are different.
	From a lady who says, Gavin, is there any way to still donate to Justice for Liberty?
	Is that done forever?
	So we had a problem with our payment processors.
	They were canceled, and some said that it was because we were involved in auctions, and banks hate auctions because they're rife with fraud.
	But we have a new payment processor now.
	I think I can bring the doodle auction back, especially if we don't put it on the site.
	So that'll be coming up shortly.
	So that may be revived.
	Did you ever find John's drawings, Ryan?
	No, I found a couple of his letters, but no drawings.
	And in the folder I gave you, there was no John drawings.
	True.
	Correct.
	If I find those on that ledge.
	I know, I know.
	I'm going to shoot your friends, baby.
	Oh, that's fine.
	My eyes are blue.
	I think I'm blurry.
	You think you're fired?
	And you're blurry.
	There we go.
	Blue eyes.
	Good to know.
	Um, hey, but boys, I'm a 20-year professional audio engineer.
	Those Road Lab mics you use are not meant for broadcasts.
	They are for amateurs shooting video on iPhones.
	Make Ryan walk his ass down to B ⁇ H and get some real SHUR or Sennheiser RF system with true diversity antennas.
	And I suggest encryption capabilities so no one can fuck with your transmissions.
	As a fellow Scotsman, I understand you're cheap, G-Dog, but this is the answer to your never-ending microphone malfeasance.
	Sounds good.
	More than a friend.
	But we didn't have any trouble with the microphones yesterday, did we?
	No.
	You know what we were actually using?
	The regular mics.
	Oh, my.
	So they were hearing all the audio that was coming through that we play through the computer, so it's an upgrade in many ways from the Skype thing.
	The left can't meme.
	Please check out this Instagram account, Reductress.
	I first came across it.
	My friend reposted the below screenshot.
	My boyfriend and I don't understand or see the humor.
	Do you get this?
	What is happening?
	Reductress.
	Study finds nothing more threatening than entirely blonde family.
	Reductress, I fell for this before this week because someone sent it in and I got soundly ridiculed for falling for an onion type of parody site.
	So I told her, I saved her the embarrassment and I said, they're mocking the left, calm down.
	And then she pulls Orion and cannot learn from her mistakes and she says, I don't think they're mocking the left.
	I think they are the left.
	All my old ultra-liberal college friends are liking and reposting unironically.
	Yeah, that doesn't mean they're not kidding.
	Reductress is a clear parody site.
	Wow.
	When this woman couldn't afford her insulin, her whole town tripped in for her funeral.
	How can you think that serious?
	It has a picture.
	How could it be fake?
	And then finally, we're living in a society.
	Yes, I'm aware of the George Costanza society bid.
	It's likely where I got it from.
	Please stop sending me the Seinfeld clip.
	But I'll just play it here once, so hopefully you'll stop doing this.
	It's George Costanza's waiting in line to use a payphone, and someone buds in front of him.
	Let's just get this over with.
	The Joker also said we're living in a society, and he was right.
	Did he?
	Yep.
	The new one?
	Well, no, that's actually the meme about it.
	I don't know if he actually says it, but it's the Joker's face, and it's like, we live in a society.
	Very popular amongst the internet people.
	Stalling.
	Okay, let's let your 46k modem load.
	Mine's going nuts here.
	I've already...
	AHHHHHH!
	Once again, what Ryan does is garbage.
	AHHHHHH!
	I was waiting.
	I'm going to close this Skype out.
	It's not Skype.
	I think it is, because even on the...
	It's blurry.
	There we go.
	I didn't see you.
	I've been standing here for the last 10 minutes.
	I won't be long.
	Um, that's not the point.
	The point is, I was here first.
	Well, if you were here first, you'd be holding the phone.
	You know, we're living in a society.
	We're supposed to act in a civilized way.
	Does she care?
	Does anyone ever display the slightest sensitivity over the problems?
	Isn't it weirdo?
	That's a gay, pussy, liberal actor playing Larry David.
	Who's a grumpy old alpha male Jew named a Mexican?
	Yeah.
	Wow, that's true.
	One of the odds.
	All right, let's jump to the final video.
	Short F, folks.
	Can you believe Derek Chauvin has to represent himself because he can't even get a public defender?
	We've gone backwards.
	Maybe it's better because they'd be afraid to actually go hard in the defense and say strong things.
	And maybe he could do a better job.
	This is a new thing.
	I mean, Tommy Robinson had to struggle to find a lawyer.
	Ezra ended up finding a guy who represented war criminals, like Milosevic.
	That's how he got it.
	By the way, a little side note, folks.
	I cannot say enough about these shoes.
	They're J. Crew brogues.
	I know they have that stupid hipster white soul.
	I find it works for me.
	These shoes are so fucking comfortable, you will not believe it.
	They're more comfortable than sneakers.
	They're light as air.
	I got them on sale.
	They look beautiful.
	And each step is like walking on a hundred clouds made of virgin pubes.
	You know how women have been fucked a lot, their pubes are all gross and wilted and caked with who knows what.
	I only like virgin pubes.
	That's true.
	For my blankets and pillows and down jackets.
	Yeah.
	We don't usually do international videos, but this particular one made me just go, do you know what a gun is?
	Even hiding behind a car door is stupid.
	If there's a shootout on the street, I would try to get under the car, but the wheel well is the only place you can even hope that a bullet will deflect.
	Otherwise, it's going right through, Right into you.
	Hiding behind a wall.
	So, this was at an Indian trial in shithole India Stan, and a rival gang showed up pretending to be lawyers, and then they shot the bad guy, and then they got into a shootout with police.
	Now, it's India, so everything's made of fucking pita bread.
	And the fact that people are just sort of meandering like it's January 6th blows my mind.
	I was watching this, just yelling at my computer, going, run!
	Run!
	What if I do?
	What if I...
	Look, what's going on in there?
	Look at her on the right.
	I guess I'll just hide by this wall that's made of plutonium and lead.
	Like, what do you...
	Do you think the wall means anything?
	And everyone watching that is just like, what, are guns going off?
	You see the same thing in the States, too.
	This is not unique to India.
	Look at them just...
	That wasn't a very good final video.
	Ladies and gentlemen, it's the weekend.
	Time for some fun.
	Time to enjoy ourselves.
	Time to spend time with our children.
	Go bring your kids to the driving range.
	Go play golf with your boys.
	Go race dirt bikes with your boys.
	Go hunting.
	Go for a five-hour hike with your kids.
	They'll hate it at first, but then they'll get into it.
	And the conversations you have, you climb up old trees, felled trees, you walk along them like this.
	There's nothing better than a nature hike with your kids.
	It totally recalibrates not just your relationship with them, but it recalibrates the individuals.
	And you just feel more at one with nature, more at one with society.
	You know, a lot of these, the most successful rehabs involve people going into the woods for 40 days, 50 days, 60 days.
	Kids that are having trouble at school or starting to get in with the wrong crowd, they'll send them to these nature retreats and they come out reborn.
	We were meant to be around nature and the fact that we're stuck in these concrete prisons shows that we're separating ourselves from what makes us great and what makes us who we are.
	So even if it's just some local suburban wooded trail, let's get our kids naturified this weekend and reconnect with the trees around us because the city sucks and we're losing ourselves.
	And as far as your future, you don't have to worry about it this weekend, but on Monday, I would highly recommend you get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Distance is a problem that I know how to solve.
	My life would be better if I wasn't involved.
	I know it sounds crazy, but lately, oh baby, I wish someone would know how to save me, please save me so please.

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