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Sept. 20, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
30:21
GOML LIVE #115 - RYAN SUCKS (Part 1)

We go over the best music Ryan has ever created and discover it reeks.

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Time Text
These girls fall like dominoes, dominoes.
These girls fall like dominoes, dominoes.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
These girls fall like dominoes, dominoes, dominoes.
Yo, ayo, ayo, I'ma need 69 real bad girls for my core bus.
Somebody get security to escort us.
They go the long way, but we take the shortcuts.
Give me the blonde hair, long weave, shortcuts.
You know the flow's sick, came in on a small bus.
So get the D-cup, C-cup, small bus.
They judge me like the girls on trial.
But every time that I come out, it says girls going well.
Got the domino effect in the front row past.
Oh!
That's officially my favorite Nicki Minaj song.
That's a remix of an indie hit called Domino's where she added some rap on top of it.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
Welcome Matty Odell!
Taking care of business every day!
That's it.
A little TCB and a flash.
Uh, there was a weird offshoot of the Proud Boys where they were trying to make it racist and I think they called themselves TCB.
Really?
They tried to, you know, uh, co-create that.
It's Elvis.
It's Elvis, yeah.
Um, we have Ryan Katsu Rivera on the mix today.
What up, Ryan Guy?
Yo, yo, yo!
What up, y'all?
If the calls suck today, I'm going to murder your wife and cut open her pregnant belly.
Oh my lord.
I'm going to pull out her child.
Mine child.
Our.
Did I say mine?
Did I say my child?
Was that a Freudian slip?
Whoops.
You bet it not a Freudian slip.
Hope doesn't have a beard.
And then I'm going to raise it.
Wow.
And then I'm going to kill it.
Oh.
So it's gonna be elaborate if you fuck up tonight.
So it's torture and death.
So you know how it goes on Thursday nights, folks.
We do free Podcast from 12 to, I'm sorry, from 9 to like 9.30 and then we go behind the paywall.
Of course, you have to pay the bills for the first part and then we get really fun and exciting behind the paywall.
I can't believe you haven't paid for censored.tv yet.
10 bucks a month, a beer and a half a month, and it's endless, endless content.
You cannot possibly finish it all.
When we started this, it was just me doing an hour and a half show, four days a week.
Now, I do five days a week, two hours a day, and there's limitless shows, endless shows!
Jacob Wall, Laura Loomer, Cornel West, Candice Owens, Roger Stone, Zuby.
It's basically Wakanda, there's so many blacks.
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You know, I was thinking about this dude.
His name is John Berger.
J-O-N-B-I-R-G-E-R.
And he's an expert.
He's an old fucking left-wing Jewbag who is obsessed with young people's sex lives.
And there he is.
Ugly dude.
He Zeke-hiles me.
He lives in my neighborhood.
Whenever he sees me, he Zeke-hiles me.
But it's always when I'm with my youngest boy and I can't run and kick his ass.
And this guy, his area of expertise is young people's sex lives.
He's written many books, I think two actually, about how young people fuck and how they date and what their dating lives are.
And this guy, I had a tech place fix my computer, and he found out that they did it for me.
So his contention is, these people are Nazis, right?
Because they fix Nazis computers.
So if you send your computer there, you're giving them all your data.
You're giving Nazis your data.
Oh.
And they'll, like, get into your bank account and fuck you over.
So, he shut down the place.
It was run by an immigrant.
And he shut down the tech place.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck's wrong with him?
What a fucking scumbag.
Well, the first boy writes about kiddie sex.
So that's what's fucking wrong with him.
Yeah.
Dating.
How to date?
What young people... Like, being into dating... I'm sure dating is a complex thing for 19-20 year olds.
But I'm not writing two books about it.
No.
The penises of seven-year-olds.
Who knows what they're up to?
Let me research it.
The woman in Texas.
About the book the other day.
Oh.
What was that?
The woman in Texas?
Yeah, she was at the school meeting about the kids.
Oh my god, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The kid was 10 and another kid was sucking his dick and oh Jesus Christ.
The way the left is spinning that though is that was just a book available at the library.
Yeah, bullshit.
And that's not true.
That's just a line.
But she figured out his reading.
It was an assignment.
Yeah.
It was to write an erotic passage, a sexual passage that would be an erotic novel that you wouldn't want your mother to read.
Now rewrite it.
Uh, in a way that you want your mother to read it.
How sick is that?
It's just like some wasted Satanist coming up with dumb ideas.
My name is Craig Schubert.
I'm the mayor of this city.
Oh, this is badass.
It has come to my attention that your educators are distributing essentially what is child pornography in the classroom.
I've spoken to a judge this evening.
She's already confirmed that.
So I'm gonna give you a simple choice.
You either choo-choose to resign from this Board of Education, or you will be charred.
You choo-choo-choose me.
That's when you take a train when you resign out.
That's badass.
Yeah.
I can't believe he did that.
But anyway, the reason- Thank God somebody did it.
What?
Thank God somebody's doing it.
I've never seen anything like that, by the way.
When was the last time you saw a mayor go, you know what?
You all resign or you're going to fucking jail.
Jail.
Yeah.
You're making kids write adult erotica.
Fuck you.
As a classroom assignment.
Yeah.
How demented is that?
How sick is that?
It's so fucked up.
Didn't you cause quite a stir at your son's high school?
Yes, yes.
We were on lockdown for three hours.
What happened there again?
They wrote a little article in the paper about it.
Well, I was texting him.
My son had left his phone at my house.
So he received a message from a guidance counselor or social worker at the school.
And it said, hey Dylan, it's so-and-so.
I just want to know if we're still meeting today.
So, I didn't know, unbeknownst to me, I texted back and said, my son left his phone at my house last night, you know, he's at school, he doesn't have it, I'm sure he's gonna, he goes, no, no, no, Dylan's not at school, he's suspended.
So I'm like, why are you texting my son asking him if you're still going to meet him?
Like, where are you supposed to meet him?
Oh, at the library.
Like, the public library.
I'm like, what?
Like, who are you?
What is your position at the fucking school?
So you're getting pedo vibes.
I'm like, yeah.
I'm like, why are you meeting my son who's suspended, not in school, off school property?
What?
So then, you know, I started calling the Board of Education and the guy's name was Dr. Wool or something.
And I was like, you know, everyone, Dan, then Harrison police came to where I lived and they said, you know, don't go to the school.
Then my, my nephew at the time was at the high school too.
And he was like, Oh, uncle Matt, you had the whole school on lockdown for three hours.
Nobody can leave or come in.
Well, didn't they put your picture up in your criminal record in the office?
That was the, um, the public safety officer in the school.
Yeah, that was another time.
That was a different time.
Yeah, it was two incidents at the high school.
What was that time?
I had gotten released from federal prison and they, the fusion centers and parole and local police departments get disseminations of information that I'm home, I'm in the community, blah blah blah.
And the youth officer I had called my wife earlier in the week and she called me and said they called me up and asked me a bunch of weird questions and she basically reiterated the same thing that you know our son knows where I was he knows who I am you know but his friends don't need to know you know would you please keep this a private matter because I don't go to the school but um my son comes to me one day he goes so dad he goes the youth officer had your picture on the wall in the school I'm like what?
So then I got a little agitated and I had to go see my federal parole officer and I had told him that, you know, I was going to go up there and see this officer and he advised me not to.
And I said, well, I got to do what I got to do.
So you got to do what you got to do.
And I told him, I said, I was going to fucking smash him.
And he goes, oh, you can't tell me that.
I said, well, I'm going to blow the world up.
He goes, well, you can't say that either.
I said, well.
And did you?
No, they locked school down.
Oh, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Dude, I was at Sky Zone today with the kids.
My youngest boy and his friend.
And there was a dude in the bathroom.
He was like 14.
And he was like adjusting his hair.
And he goes, I got mad swag.
I got killer swag.
And he's talking to two little boys who are about six.
And I was going piss.
And I just thought, that's a weird thing to say to little boys.
Yeah, I got swag.
And then these moms come in and they go, are you guys done?
What's taking you so long?
To the little boys who were like six or seven.
And they scooped them out of there.
And then I'm looking at the dude who was just talking about his swag, who was like fixing his hair in the mirror.
And then he goes and gets some pizza.
I don't think he's there with anyone.
I think he was a fucking young pedophile.
Victims become predators.
Like remember when you were 16, right?
Imagine telling seven-year-olds that you're looking good.
It's the farthest thing from your fucking mind.
Like when I was 17, little people, kids, didn't exist.
Yeah.
They were like beetles.
You were too busy living life.
I didn't see them.
I might stand on one by accident.
Yeah, you're on the hunt for the opposite sex.
At that age, hormones are raging.
Need a fashions!
Nice.
I can't say enough about Nita Fashions.
The reason I look so good every fucking night on this show is because I'm wearing Nita Fashions.
This is one of the only nights I'm not wearing Nita Fashions.
And the reason I'm dressed like this is I just came back from my daughter's birthday dinner in Koreatown in the city, which was delicious.
350 bucks, by the way.
You know, I don't want to interrupt the Nita Fashions commercial, but my wife got my daughter this micro Korg for her birthday.
It's the most complicated piece of machinery in the world.
Like a keyboard?
It's beyond a nuclear power plant.
If you pull up an introduction to the micro Korg, you will not understand one fucking word of this thing.
And it's like, I was going through our finances this past month.
My wife is spending money like levels that would make Flava Flav blush.
$2,500 a day is not unusual.
$3,500 a day is not unusual.
Just like pissing money, pissing money. - They're coming and they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.
By the hundreds of-- - Now if my daughter, like my daughter's been taking guitar lessons forever, she can't play guitar.
We had a piano in the house, no one played it.
We have a keyboard in the house, no one touched it.
So now she has this in the house.
And it's like, it's a $500 fucking instrument that is so beyond complicated.
Play what you're playing there.
And I know this guy by the way, because I saw him on YouTube beginner videos today.
- Incredibly rich, detailed soundscapes. - That's what I said to my wife.
She's like, well, maybe she can figure it out.
I go, honey, you could do a soundtrack for Star Wars on this fucking thing.
It's really, really advanced.
And I'm not sure our daughter is even musically inclined.
A lot of people that aren't really tactically musically inclined, but they have ideas, this is the perfect entry point for them.
So, there's a lot of things that she's not going to be utilizing at all, but if she just focuses on the basics, you know, that's what I did before I knew how to do any of this stuff, and I make some bomb-ass tracks.
No, all your songs suck.
They don't.
Yes, they do.
No, they don't.
Yes, they do.
No, they don't.
They absolutely do.
No, they absolutely don't.
10,000 hours to get good?
All your songs are the worst songs ever made.
That's not true.
Okay, play one.
Everyone's gonna projectile vomit.
Okay.
We have a couple of different vibes here, I guess.
Here we go, folks.
This one's called Smokin' on a Sunday.
No, there's no such song called Smokin' on a Sunday.
That's the vibe it's gonna be.
This one is made by all keyboard stuff.
Oh, that's gonna be great.
*music* What's the woman talking thing?
It's "watch the tram car please" I made a vlog for Wildwood, so I just made this song because I was like, I don't want to keep repeating songs.
Listen to this slapper.
It's called Lunge at the Bunch.
How 80s is he?
Yeah!
He has no shame here.
What do you mean?
Dude, your musical tastes are an abandoned child who had a single mom in the 80s.
How about Good Great Fine?
Listen to this one.
Whoa, where are we going, guys?
To Shit Town.
No, we're not going to Shit Town.
No, we're not going to Shit Town.
It sounds like the equalizer done by... It's the equalizer done by Down Syndrome.
It does kind of sound like the...
And I have some singing ones, too.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, God.
What's a singing one?
Look out, boy!
Look behind yourself!
Ow!
Is that a song?
That's you.
No it's not.
Let's hear your singing.
This one is about... Can you put it down if I can't understand?
This is about like antifa chicks basically.
Filthy, unpretty, and not too smart.
No brains, all heart.
Bleeding heart.
Blue hair.
A little flat there, right?
Farts in public and she just don't care.
She's...
Or art thou father?
Why must I hate you so?
Now this part starts slapping around.
So buckle in your seatbelts.
Fuck God.
Fuck Dad.
Fuck Mom.
Love school.
Love Parmesan.
Love latte.
Did you say Parmesan?
Yes, Parmesan.
Brian, you have hurt my ears today.
Dude, that was actually so ballsy for you to play the gayest song I've ever heard in my life.
Did you hear the, now you haven't heard the Dire Straits like solo.
No, no.
Go back to, like, fuck this, fuck that, fuck smart.
Dude, that's so embarrassing.
How do you get parmesan in the sauce?
Wow.
Because she loves parmesan.
I feel like, you know when you have a cold shower and you sort of feel, like, cleansed?
Aren't you embarrassed?
I've been washed over with your gayness.
Brian, you have hurt me today.
That was embarrassing.
I'm not embarrassed.
I think that rules.
I took creative choices.
Wow.
That's the gayest music I've ever heard.
It's literally not.
I got, and there's plenty more.
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there is.
Just go to my, no, you can go to YouTube, you can go to YouTube Music, you can go to Apple Music.
Jesus.
SoundCloud.
Anyway, get back to Need of Fashions.
So Need of Fashions, needoffashions.com.
Contact them on Instagram.
They will set you up with a new look.
They used to go to hotel rooms and they would measure everyone and then make you shirts and suits and shit.
But now they do it online and that's who I use.
That's why I look so sartorial.
Because I use these guys.
And you know what's great about them too?
When they're getting clients from our show, they interview them about the show.
And they say things like, we want more things about Gavin's theology, Gavin's faith.
We want to hear more about... sit down interviews, shit like that.
But, uh, Need of Fashions is a great way to have a perfectly tailored suit, shirt, pants, for an affordable price.
I've always said it's for cheap, rich guys.
And that's how I heard about it.
When I was at Fox News, the producers there would be like, you gotta meet me at Need of Fashions.
We're doing a thing on Thursday.
Go there.
They'll measure you at the hotel.
And I know that dude personally, by the way.
That's the guy.
And, uh, we'll set you up.
And it's great too.
Once they get your sort of blueprint, you can start looking at swaths and getting new shirts, new suits, new ideas.
And when you get fat, as you want to do, they let out your pants.
So it's fucking awesome, dude.
Get one suit.
Get a suit for funerals.
Get a suit for job interviews.
If you're blue collar and you never wear suits, you need one suit that fits you perfectly.
And you look so professional when you show up at the event and your top button isn't undone.
And it's like, wow, this guy's always in Carhartt overalls, but now that our sister died, he looks fucking amazing.
Yeah, because he has his shit together.
Because he contacted Nita Fashions.
Not anymore.
You're out with Nita Fashions.
When I lose 20 more pounds and I'm down to 185, I'm gonna buy me a suit from Nita Fashions.
I'll buy you a suit.
There we go.
185.
So you were supposed to be dead this episode.
No.
I'm gonna Skype from the hospital next week.
Because I'll be recovering.
Okay.
Um, I felt bad for you when you described this behind us, but I've been talking to people since and they go, it's actually just like having wisdom teeth pulled.
I don't know about that.
They go, it's not that crazy.
Well, I've had the cameras go up through there, but I've never had the burning of the inside of the heart.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's not a big deal.
Apparently you're going to live.
Oh, I plan on it.
Good news.
So, we're going to dip into letters.
We're five minutes away from Letters Town.
But before we do that, we should probably explain what's been going on this past 24 hours.
Anthony Cumia raped me.
No.
Oh, okay.
I thought we were going to do that again.
You just bailed on it?
I actually have a thing to say.
That's amazing.
Yeah, look up the micro corg.
Like my wife, my wife was almost in tears.
My wife is such a Midwesterner.
Forget the Indian shit.
That's irrelevant.
She's a Midwesterner and she hates conflict.
So the fact that I was mad about the micro corg, uh, she's like, should you be coming to dinner with us?
Cause I'm sick, right?
She's like, you're sick.
Uh, you're a bummer.
You're being too negative.
And then my fucking daughter, we're driving through the city and she sees Beacon Hill High School, and she goes, OH MY GOD!
BEACON HILL HIGH SCHOOL!
THAT'S MY FRIEND'S SCHOOL!
FROM CAMP, THAT'S MY FRIEND'S SCHOOL!
So I obviously go, shut the fuck up, what are you doing?
It's your friend's school, be quiet, calm down.
And then my wife is like, I can tell she's crying.
Because I told my daughter to shut the fuck up.
Now, I wouldn't tell my daughter to shut the fuck up.
She went, oh what the?
Beacon High School, that's my friend's school.
She was screaming at the top of her lungs.
So I got annoyed.
Now, look up microcorg like for beginners.
This is what I was doing all morning.
And I hate how so much of the presents my wife buys for my kids are homework assignments for me.
Okay, this is gonna be really easy.
By the way, first of all, first of all, first of all, why isn't the whole fucking thing in the shot?
Why are you in the top corner?
We'll work as fast as possible.
Patch bank.
You have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 patch banks here.
I don't know what a patch bank is.
Both the A and B side.
What's that mean?
So right now I'm in trance.
What are you talking about?
You can ignore these bank titles.
What?
Whatever.
And then when you're in a bank, you can push these program numbers down to switch between different patches.
What are patches?
Sounds.
Okay.
So you have eight sounds per whatever knob turn you know like it says trance whatever you could ignore those and you can make those banks different things and there's eight patches per bank.
So are those pre-programmed or is that like?
You can program them I'm sure but they're pre-programmed out the box.
Okay.
So these are the A patches under Trance.
Oh and then there's a B side.
So there's 16 actually.
I can go to the B patches.
So under this Trance or Bank 1, you have A and 8B.
Is everyone as lost as me right now?
No, I get it.
Hey look, you can make a song right now.
So look.
You know, the sad thing about these tools is that the only people smart enough to figure out how they work are retarded and make shitty music.
But then there's me too.
Exactly.
And then I'm worried my daughter thinks that I think she's stupid.
And I'm like, no, I don't think you're stupid.
No one can figure this out.
Go back to that instructional video.
Trains.
Trains.
All right.
Simple stuff.
Simple.
Let's look at up here.
Okay.
So I know what's going on.
Look at that chart.
Those are effects.
That is a encyclopedia.
Yes.
Of terms.
For a 15 year old girl.
Okay but it looks like see where it says synth?
That's only that many.
For vocoder you got a bunch of shit.
So that's good, because the vocoder you don't use too much.
I'm already lost.
...modification dials.
Let's look at these five dials up here.
And if both these lights are on, that means you're in play or performance mode, I forget what it's called, doesn't really matter, but it means that these dials up here are going to be the cutoff, renaissance, EG attack, EG release, and temple.
It's resonance, he said renaissance.
And have nothing to do with what's under them here.
Okay so what he explained is those are different characteristics of those sounds so like if you were to go in here this has a very similar thing you get you pick one of these things see the cutoff resonance.
You're explaining Chinese to me and Chinese is retarded.
See, cut off what it does, it goes boom boom, or it lets it rock.
But you can cut it off, make it more staccato.
So you're going to be playing with that a lot.
Resonance.
It's pretty easy.
Why did my daughter get this for her birthday?
It's fucking stupid.
It's a waste of time.
Kick a little cash my way, I got some lessons I could probably impart some knowledge.
Uh, you know how to work a micro-cook?
I have a, well I have a similar thing, yeah.
I have a, um, it's not as cool.
Mine is very limited.
But it's the same, it's a MIDI controller.
Why does my daughter have something better than your retarded shit?
Because her parents have more money.
Because my wife spoils her.
That's true.
We spent $2,500 a day this month.
Oof.
My family's just hemorrhaging cash.
I cannot, it cannot continue.
It's insane.
She makes beats and sells beats.
That's very lucrative.
No, it's not.
Fuck.
Selling beats?
Jesus Christ.
Tactical Walls is a veteran owned, operated and tactical walls.
It's designed to store and secure firearms.
But really, you can hide anything in there.
We, our office, our studio is replete with tactical walls.
Now, we can't have guns because we're in New York.
So we decorate our tactical walls with Motorcycle helmets, jackets, bric-a-brac.
Baseball bats.
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I wish we lived in a place where you live where you could have fucking tons of guns.
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Hide it all with Tactical Walls.
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Now, we've had Tim at Tactical Walls on the show.
Yeah.
It didn't go great.
There we go.
Ryan has done a terrible job of his tactical walls, and that's the great thing about tactical walls.
You can make it look awesome, like this we see here, this mod wall, or you can make it look terrible, like Ryan's thing, where he has like a random mug, and Billy... Peewee Harming?
Billy, what's his name?
Billy Baloney from fuckin' Peewee's Playhouse.
Just shockingly bad.
So Ryan's failed as he's want to do.
But you don't have to fail.
When you do your tactical walls, it will look awesome.
And I've seen guys who collect guns and I've seen the handguns in the boop boop boop boop boop things with the AR-15s and the rifles and the shotguns all lining up.
It's fucking beautiful, man.
Why buy guns if you're not willing to display them beautifully?
And that's what tactical walls does.
All right.
We are going behind the paywall now.
We've had enough of you.
And that's that.
There's some vids too if you're interested.
Tons of fucking stuff that'll help you out.
No thanks.
So we're gonna read a bunch of letters.
And hang out for the next hour and a half.
And we like you more than a friend and thanks for tuning in.
Goodbye.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting!
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