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Sept. 13, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:52:53

S04E28 - FUNNY BROADS

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	With my chin up hot.
	Oh, live from New York.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis.
	Party till I die.
	With my chin up hot, fuck emote, fuck embark.
	Let that dollar make her work.
	Work people always hate me, but the more they hate, the more I work.
	Everybody say they live, but all they do is showing shit.
	In my street, like the slaves, bitches always kiss my feet.
	Stay out of my way, you bitch.
	I can deal with you.
	Fake at me.
	They thought that I had stopped.
	It was over.
	I had dropped.
	Bitch, I had my plans out here.
	I'm only just...
	Okay, I played it.
	Can you stop sending me this now?
	Jesus H. Christ on a Crutch.
	I've been getting this every four hours since it came out.
	I was wondering actually what this was because Mob Shizzen posted it, but they never tell you what the video is.
	She's got interesting gestures.
	She's kind of got the gestures of Amel and the Sniffers.
	And she's kind of got the gestures of Yoshi Linda, whatever her name is, from Yolanda Visser.
	Yolanda Visser.
	Kind of hoppy.
	It's just a shitty rap song.
	Why did you rape me into playing this?
	My God.
	Here's a better opening song.
	Try not to cry at this softball game.
	There's a technical difficulties and we will not be playing the national anthem.
	Let's play ball.
	Technical difficulties?
	This is a teacher.
	Isn't that awesome?
	Yeah.
	Did you tear up?
	I did not, but the first time I saw it, I might have.
	Oh, you've seen that before?
	I have.
	I tear up for happy things.
	We were in Vegas all weekend, and we've got a lot of stories for that.
	It's going to dominate the whole show, I think.
	But before we get to that, I have to cover all the things that we can't discuss tomorrow because there'll be ancient Chinese secret by then.
	A lot of sports stuff going on.
	I missed the greatest Mets game of the season, apparently.
	There was a fight or an almost fight with Lindore.
	There was three home runs in one game.
	Is this all correct?
	He's new to us.
	See, whenever you see other commentators, is that the right word, commentator?
	I think so, yeah.
	I'm asking Ryan.
	You realize how lucky we are to have Gary Keith and Ron.
	These other guys suck.
	And if you're checking out the Mets for the first time, make sure you watch a Mets game that is on SNY with Gary Keith and Ron, because they are really what makes being a Mets fan great.
	They just go off at tangents rambling.
	Is one of those guys Baldman?
	Yep.
	Batman's Arch Nemesis.
	I don't get it.
	We were saying he was a Batman villain.
	Oh, one of the guys looks like a Batman villain?
	Because he's so bald.
	He's like, what are you, Baldman?
	Remember?
	We're laughing at him?
	I don't remember that, no.
	So they destroyed the Yankees.
	Is this the whole game or just highlights?
	These are highlights.
	It's an eight-minute reel.
	That's a lot of highlights, too.
	I guess the whole game was like highlights.
	Isn't there a thing?
	Where they break down.
	This is not an interesting introduction to a show for people.
	It's Glaber Day.
	Glaber Torres.
	That's one for the Yanks.
	Run away center field.
	Stan doubled in a run.
	Sinson has struck out.
	Into deep left center field, and this game is tied.
	What a game.
	Farts McGillicuddy.
	Poo-poo.
	Poo-poo.
	We were on a plane.
	We almost got in a fight last night.
	Yeah.
	We can jump to that story.
	So Ryan and I are the Butt Boys.
	And what the Butt Boys do is, it's a very misleading title.
	I'm not happy about the name.
	But we police people who butt in line.
	It's a dangerous job, but someone's got to do it.
	And I am at a 50% butt arguments fight with flights now.
	I had a racist hunch when we arrived in Vegas that the black guy, kiddie corner behind me, or as Ryan says, Caddy Corner.
	I swear I thought it was.
	He was going to bud.
	So I watched him like a hawk.
	I was in the shitty middle seat because I'm too cheap to get first class.
	So the guy here gets up.
	And how do I establish dominance as someone in the middle seat, a row above the dude?
	Well, you get up and you put your knee on your seat like this.
	You've got to duck your head under the cabbage, the cabbage, the baggage claim, whatever, stop, overstock stuff.
	What am I fucking talking about?
	And so you show you're ready to pounce, right?
	So this is how you establish dominance if you're not on the aisle seat.
	If you're in the aisle seat, it's easy to just get up and stand there.
	So I'm like this, watching the black guy.
	He had no intentions of butting.
	Calm down, butt boy.
	And that was fine.
	On the way back, however, this wigger from Jersey with a big cannabis BK shirt on and slides.
	Quite big, 6'2, I'd say.
	And he's got sunglasses on.
	It's 11 p.m., dude.
	And flip-flops.
	I just said slides, shit for brains.
	Watch the show.
	You should watch the show.
	He buds in line.
	Now, he hasn't butted to my row, but Ryan allowed him to butt into his row.
	No, no, no.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	He got up way before a man's supposed to get, anybody gets up.
	Nobody was getting up.
	He rushed from way behind before anybody was.
	Like, the first two rows were just about getting up, and he positioned himself way behind.
	The second that the seatbelt comes on, you have to get to that kneeling position I just showed.
	The second.
	So anyway, he's now there, and I'm like, and Ryan is the first to go, buddy, buddy, what's going on here?
	We got to get out one by one.
	And then I jump in and go, it's pretty basic logic.
	First row probably gets out first, don't you think?
	And he's like, yo, I'm impatient.
	And I said, well, I'm impatient too.
	I don't have patience for what you're doing.
	I was like, is this your first time flying?
	I was a little heated because I had pictured an argument in my brain already.
	So I was like, you think you could back up so maybe I can get out?
	He's like, whoa, whoa.
	I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, they get out first, then we go, and then you jumped in.
	You were like, this is my favorite argument.
	Then you turn around.
	I tried the, it's called a society.
	Didn't work as well as it does with black butters.
	Also, we learned a new word, egg corn.
	Yes.
	Which is, we couldn't, we weren't sure, is it budding or butting, but it is both.
	Butting has been bastardized by butting.
	I'd rather be the Bud Boys.
	That sounds cool.
	Sounds cool.
	Sounds like Budweiser.
	But if you want to be grammatically correct, we're the Butt Boys.
	So we keep going and going, and I eventually get up because everyone is just, some like ladies, as usual, some ladies are like, that's the way it goes.
	Yeah.
	Guy on my row, too, is like, it's the rules.
	It's the rules.
	But no one really had our backs because he was a violent dude.
	So I stand up and I go, you got to get back.
	These rows need to be done.
	He goes, don't put your fucking hands on me.
	You're going to regret it.
	And I go, well, then get back because you're ahead of these rows.
	And then he's standing like this, like, I fucking dare you.
	So I gently, with my arm, push him back and I sort of grab Ryan and pull him like this.
	And then he's like, save my life.
	What the fuck do you think?
	He goes, now he's really mad.
	He's like, move, go, go.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because it takes us a second because there's an old lady.
	You're like, I'm waiting for the flight.
	Well, no, that's before that.
	So we're getting people out.
	And then this old lady with a cane is like, I'm trying to get out.
	Yeah, yeah.
	He goes, move, move.
	I go, I'm waiting for an old lady with a cane.
	And she's like, and then the flight attendants grab her and take her aside, like, you don't want to be part of this.
	So now we're out.
	It's 11 p.m. at Newark, and the airport's empty.
	So he's got some hubris.
	And he's like, you a bitch, motherfucker.
	And then he keeps saying the same thing.
	He keeps going, I just want to know, who the fuck are you to put your hands on me?
	Like, is this your wise guy voice?
	What are you doing?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then Ryan said, you know, if this goes down, I'm going to get involved.
	And last time this happened, I put a guy out for a week.
	And I looked at you and you looked at me.
	Yeah, we laughed.
	And I was like, he was like, your size.
	And I was like, and I'm in shape and you don't look like you're in shape.
	That's the first diss.
	Second diss was, he's like, and you smoke weed.
	He's got like a cannabis shirt.
	And I forget the other one.
	I said I knocked out a guy his size.
	You're fat and you wear a gay shirt and you smoke weed.
	After that, still, he's like, you know, him, I get it.
	I get where he's coming from to me.
	I just dissed you three times in a row.
	So that's why he got where you're coming from, especially after you mentioned the Bronx.
	He was scared.
	Yeah, I was like, you seem like a West Coaster.
	Where are you from?
	You're not from New York.
	He's like, I'm from the Bronx.
	I was like, so am I. Now what?
	He's not from the Bronx.
	I don't think so.
	His friends had jersey plates.
	Anyway, this keeps going.
	I'm going to fuck you up.
	Where are we headed?
	Where are we headed?
	And he's right in our grill.
	Like, he's touching us.
	I'm going, get the fuck away from me.
	Don't touch me.
	Don't touch me.
	He's big on touching.
	And I go, we're going to go outside.
	We're going to get in a fight.
	We're going to go to jail.
	It's going to be our whole night fucked up because you're an asshole because you don't understand how society works.
	He's like, you'll faggot.
	This guy probably fucked you in your ass.
	I'm like, what does homosexuality got to do with budding in line?
	Like, maybe I am gay.
	What the fuck's that got to do with your inability to understand how planes work?
	Deboarding a plane.
	And he's got his guys on the phone.
	Like, he's calling.
	And then he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm about to go outside.
	I got to fuck with you.
	He's with this bro.
	They're going to throw down.
	I want you guys to jump in.
	He's setting up a gang fight.
	Right.
	So I was like, well, I don't know what these guys look like.
	This thing.
	I know what this guy looks like.
	So then we finally step outside, and he's still not doing anything.
	I thought, well, you can't wait till we get outside.
	He did walk up to me.
	He was like, so what, you want to hit me?
	I was like, I never wanted to hit you.
	I mean, I don't know where this is coming from you, actually, but yeah.
	So then we get there, and then he's got these three Armenian dudes, and they're all surrounding their car like a Michael Jackson video.
	Like one's leaning up against the car with his leg up, the other's standing with a cigarette, the other standing like this.
	Oh!
	One of them had three bottles on their hands and they're clinking them together.
	And then he steps on the back of my shoe.
	I'm like, butt poise.
	You want to play?
	He's fucking taunting.
	Then he steps on the back of my shoe.
	Oh, really?
	I didn't see that.
	Yeah, the cops are there.
	He goes, how would you feel if I went like this?
	And then he put his hands on me.
	And then you backed into him, too.
	You almost like backed right into him.
	Remember that?
	And he just didn't have the balls to throw the first punch, which is what we need to stay out of jail.
	Right.
	Then he's doing this kind of thing.
	Yeah, and then you almost like cocked back and hit him.
	And I was like, whoa, don't do that.
	We got cameras.
	We got cops.
	I mean, don't hit him first.
	I remember saying That to you.
	Then his friend takes off his backpack.
	And then he goes, just apologize.
	We can forget this.
	And then I'm like, no.
	And then you said, we got to de-escalate this, or we're going to be in jail all night.
	Yeah, I said, I was like, hey, dude, nobody should have touched anybody.
	I'm sorry about that.
	He's like, I want to hear from him.
	And he goes, at one point, he goes, your man's is even telling you to say sorry.
	Your man's?
	I don't have a man's.
	I have a butt buddy.
	Thank you.
	Yeah.
	That's gay.
	Yeah.
	Your man's.
	We're called butt boys.
	That's so true.
	And so then I did something that I was tossing and turning, thinking about all night.
	I know you were.
	Deep in regret.
	I went.
	Sorry, pal.
	Yeah, you touched it.
	No, you touched him.
	He's like, sorry for touching you.
	And then you put your hand on his shoulder, which is almost like, fuck you.
	And then he turns around and sits all angry in his car and his friends peel out.
	Yeah, he didn't shake my hand too.
	So I was like, you know, it's good that, you know, we squashed that because we just landed.
	It was going to be a whole fucking thing.
	He's like, yeah, you're right, you're right.
	And I put out my hand to shake it.
	I don't know why.
	Shake his hand.
	He's like, no.
	And I was like, you're right.
	I was like, touching each other is what got us here in the first place.
	I chuckled to myself.
	Stop touching each other.
	Yeah.
	Anyway, that was tense.
	There was a few other confrontations that week, weekend.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	We got Chick-fil-A guy.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	So it's WestFest, but it's two things.
	There's Compound Media had a thing, which I think we should do next year.
	Censored, should have a censored weekend.
	We'll have Atheism is Unstoppable, Josh Denny, me, I'll do stand-up.
	We'll do a live podcast.
	Charge people a nominal ticket price.
	And then a selfie moment.
	Or a moment to do a selfie.
	Yeah.
	People are coming up to me after the compound thing going, can we do selfies?
	And I know you hate them.
	And then I'm with Proud Boys, like a dozen of them.
	And they go, oh, this is his thing.
	He really hates it.
	100 selfies later, they're starting to see why I hate them.
	And they're gone.
	So I lost my buddies.
	Because they're not going to stand around for half an hour.
	And it's like after another, after another.
	Hey, man, I hate to bother you.
	Can I just get a selfie?
	Just one.
	And then they take out their phone.
	And a lot of them are boomers.
	So they're sort of sitting there like, okay, here.
	And then they give it to their wife and she can't figure it out.
	And I'm sitting there going, what the fuck?
	So if we do this, we're just going to have to delegate like a selfie moment after my show or something, which Joe Rogan does, which I always thought was lame.
	But now I realize it's like the best to just get it over with.
	It's like pulling teeth.
	I mean, Trump does it.
	Trump will have a whole day where he's just like for hours and hours and hours.
	And he must do it a lot because pretty much everyone I know has a picture of them and Trump.
	True.
	We don't.
	I know.
	So that was annoying.
	But speaking of Trump, he I don't like this word commentated.
	It's like when blacks say conversate.
	That can't be the right term.
	Narrating?
	Commenting on?
	I don't know.
	So he did the Hollyfield.
	Who is the other guy?
	I guess Hollyfield got his ass kicked.
	Let's see.
	That was a fantastic job by a really great young man.
	He's got a big future.
	Thank you.
	So for this fight, there's two options.
	You could get the one with Trump on it, or you could watch the fight with totally different commentary.
	And I would kill to see the numbers on who chose what.
	I think it's 85, Trump, 15, didn't want.
	And it's hard to think of people who would like boxing and hate Trump, and I'm thinking maybe some Mexicans.
	All Mexicans love boxing.
	Not all Mexicans love Trump.
	Jorge, it's great, Junior.
	It's great to be with you guys and champions.
	We love you, man.
	Special people.
	Special warriors.
	You know what I thought just as he was talking there?
	It's like he does a really good trump.
	That guy's trump is fucking perfect.
	That guy's trump is almost perfect.
	I've seen better.
	Yeah.
	I've heard better.
	He's almost like, wow.
	Wow.
	He couldn't stop fucking doing that.
	He says wow, better than he says fucking.
	Fucking.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	It starts out with a wow.
	This is funny.
	He says, these are like, I don't know which way this leans, but they're like pointing at kind of like some goofy things that he said.
	Anderson Silver.
	And they're like, who's Anderson Silver?
	They're like, what's Donald Trump doing at a boxing event?
	Well, I've known every one of these fighters for a long time, and they're great.
	Anderson Silver and...
	Anderson Silver.
	Yeah.
	This one, I don't know.
	And then another one, he says Tyson Fury is basically out of shape.
	It was funny.
	Well, he had a great win.
	He was given no chance.
	And body type.
	You talk about body type.
	That's not a body type for a fighter, it doesn't seem.
	But he was so loose.
	You know, he's really a good fighter.
	He's right, though.
	He's right.
	Tyson Fury looks like this.
	Compounds fans are an unusual bunch.
	And I met one.
	I was bored, so I sat with him and had a beer at his behest.
	And he was like six foot two, normal.
	He's a nurse for psychos.
	Normal body.
	And then he has this huge woman's ass.
	You know those kind of guys?
	I do.
	It's a badass.
	It's a nurse's build.
	And I was like, yeah, these prowboys, woof, they do a lot of coke.
	I can't keep up with them.
	And he goes, well, I have human-grade ketamine up in the room if you want to do some.
	No, thank you.
	I'm not big on doing ketamine with giant-assed strangers.
	Who, by the way, is covered in satanic tattoos, Baphomet and all this stuff.
	And I go, your patients must not be huge fans of that.
	I think I'd be pretty uncomfortable if some Satanist was helping me live.
	They're not big on life.
	He's like, no, I put sleeves on at work because the psycho, he had some clinical term about how the psychosis of my patients is derailed.
	Okay.
	Anthony came out, Anthony Kumia came out and did stand-up and was fucking amazing.
	It was hilarious, yeah.
	They have these, what do you call those things?
	Ziplines.
	Zip lines.
	They have these zip lines, but instead of being like this, you're like this and you can Superman it and you do the whole street.
	What's that street called?
	Fullerton?
	Fremont.
	Fremont.
	So we weren't in the nice Vegas.
	We're in the gross Vegas, which is grosser than anything you can imagine.
	It's San Francisco.
	Las Vegas, downtown Vegas, is the elephant's graveyard for methods.
	It's where people go to pursue meth in a professional way.
	Like, you know how Margaritaville is where swinging boomers who just love getting drunk on tequila, they all go and the women all have gunts and the men are all bald with flip-flops.
	And that's where they go to really pursue boomer alcoholism.
	And Vegas is the same, but meth.
	Holy shit.
	The dregs of humanity, just filthy.
	And when all the casinos are, well, the casinos don't shut down, but when things get really late and most people are asleep, it's Night of the Living Dead.
	It's World Star Hip Hop, the place.
	World Star Hip Hop Avenue.
	Holy shit.
	And here's the thing.
	I'm kind of jumping into WestFest here, but Ryan invites his nerdy music club.
	I don't know if you're low on testosterone, but all your friends are pussies.
	They're all great.
	He brings his nerdy friends.
	One of them insists he meet us at the airport on the way there.
	Dan.
	Our buddy Hollowed.
	Hey, hey, man.
	How's it going?
	What are you doing here?
	I just wanted to be on your flight.
	Why?
	Like, we're not sitting together.
	I don't know.
	Hey, and then he's asking people questions.
	He's from the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
	He's the fish guy who just landed here.
	And he's like going up to during that in the Night of the Living Dead scene when we were in Vegas.
	All these methods are like, hey, man, do you know how I can get some straws?
	It's like, oh, where are you from?
	Like, engaging them.
	I like your tattoo.
	Are you Catholic?
	Me and my buddy Tony had to be mom and dad for Serge and Dan.
	I don't know if it's a tipsy thing, but I just felt that they were going to talk to people that they ought not to.
	I was like, if you say something wrong to these people and they attack you, our whole night's going to be different.
	So please just don't talk to anybody.
	Because we were at the roulette table and Dan has a full-blown conversation with the dealer.
	Everybody's waiting for the action to happen.
	And he's like, oh, it's cool.
	You're like Catholic or like Orthodox.
	And I was like, Dan, people have to anime.
	Talking to people about anime.
	And he's a target, too, because he's clearly, well, I wanted to say beta male, but he's not a tough guy.
	He's a nerd with big schnaz and lying.
	Hey, what's going on?
	Like, he comes, and he's also got autism.
	Why did you invite the nerdiest people I've ever met to a working class fighting conference?
	Well, I said we're going to Vegas for WestFest.
	It's going to be a big party.
	Don't do that ever again.
	Don't invite people to things that are a particular event.
	There's also the compound event.
	They knew of this, so it's...
	And they were there for the...
	They didn't have tickets for compound.
	They didn't go to any of the compounds yet.
	They sure did.
	And Dan saw the whole thing.
	Dan had compound tickets.
	Yeah.
	So he must have been for the late show.
	He was for the late show.
	And then the other guys were just doing their thing.
	Every time I had to leave, I was like, we got to go do some work or we got to just go to the Proud Boys.
	You should have seen these two Mexicans.
	One of them dresses like, they look like they work at a Halloween store.
	One of them is dressed glam like in a joke video for glam with the hair and the leather jacket that's brand new and chains and stuff.
	He looks honestly like he's glam for Halloween.
	And then the other Mexican, he's wearing like colored shades, a fedora, and a suit.
	And he's like, hey, Gavin, am I a do?
	Oh, there they are.
	So the guy with the leather jacket, the nerd in the leather jacket, he also, he was the guy in the suit.
	Then there's that Tony dude is okay.
	The tall guy never said one word the entire time.
	In other words, a dud.
	And then there's the Glam guy at the end.
	Like, what the fuck have you done?
	Glam guy spent 500 bucks at an event that we were supposed to go to, the midget wrestling.
	Oh, yeah, there was midget wrestling at Larry Flint's Hustler Club.
	And I go, I don't think Prowboys want to spend like $100 per person.
	So it's canceled.
	It's off.
	Glam guy goes, I already had that in my head.
	This is how, this is Ryan's friends.
	I already had that in my head.
	So I went alone.
	He really wanted to see tits.
	So he went to a strip club alone.
	It's all like toothless Mexicans.
	And he watches Mexican midgets fight for $500.
	That's a good investment.
	There was one proud boy there from, it was a weird scene because everyone's in jail.
	So there was only two guys from New York, one guy from this chapter, one guy from that chapter.
	Enrique's in jail, Ethan Nordine, Joe Biggs, and other guys are on bail facing jail.
	Like the guy who was next to Jay Danielson, Jay Bishop, who I think was on, no, I don't think he was shot.
	I think they shot at him, but it didn't hit him.
	He's looking at 50 years.
	So he's there.
	He's not exactly in party mode.
	He's just hanging.
	But one of the guys from the Arab, and Arizona is only a few hours away, so it's easy for them to go.
	There's a lot of Ohio dudes, too.
	Yeah, Ohio always comes out strong.
	They got cool merch and stuff.
	Yeah, Arizona's the most organized.
	They've got like big, big documents, like all these bylaws and shit on what happens if this guy does that and Prospects and how long they last.
	But one of the fucking idiots, I don't know how you don't have street smarts.
	It's one or two in the morning, and some black chicks have taken a real liking to him.
	You know how women are, how horny they are when you're walking down the street.
	You're always getting ogled, especially when you're a short, fat pig, and they're always like grabbing your ass and stuff.
	You know how it is.
	So he succumbed to their insatiable lust and invites them back up to the room.
	Now, this must have been much later because I was up there too.
	So maybe let's say five, right?
	So half the guys are asleep.
	And he's smooching one of them while the other runs everyone's pockets.
	Now, she only gets money out of most pockets, but for him, I guess his pants were like at his ankles, and she grabs his phone and everything.
	And then they go, oh, we got to go before they have to do any sexual favors.
	And they run out the room, and then he's chasing them down the hallway in his underwear.
	He lost, so they stole 500 bucks from one dude's wallet, and then like 600 bucks from his with all his ID and his phone.
	And he can't check into his room now.
	And he was like, oh man, I feel so stupid.
	And I go, you are.
	You should feel bad.
	He goes, I don't know if I'm in the club anymore.
	I go, you shouldn't be.
	And then I just, I couldn't sit with him.
	I couldn't look at him.
	I was so disgusted in him.
	What a fucking imbecile.
	We took him out for lunch.
	We felt bad.
	See, that's another problem with you.
	Well, you got to look out for your brothers.
	You're a woman.
	You have to look out for your brothers.
	No, that's why he's in trouble because he didn't look out for his brothers.
	And he jeopardized his brother's safety and got them robbed.
	His brother was in it, too.
	He wanted some whatever type of.
	No, the guy who got robbed was fast asleep.
	Oh, he said he made it seem like they were both in on.
	The bodybuilding guy?
	He was totally asleep.
	That's a bad move.
	Yeah, if you don't reward that, Ryan.
	You're such a chick.
	But we're getting into Vegas too much.
	Other news we have to cover is this trans fighter who was a bodybuilder.
	Totally fucking ripped dude like, I don't know, a year ago.
	And now he's in MMA.
	And we just realized what these men in MMA do is they throw the first round.
	And I noticed on Twitter too, she kept saying, hey, you're trivializing blah, blah, blah's incredible fight.
	She definitely won the first round.
	Yeah, so that's him before.
	I've seen pictures of him with a beard where he's even more ripped than that.
	So he takes some estrogen.
	He gets slightly smaller arms.
	But as Joe Rogan points out, you're still training with your normal man arms your whole life.
	So you've practiced power.
	You've been working with power your whole life.
	Yeah, that's it.
	That guy knows how to deliver a punch.
	And then he gets slightly smaller muscles, shaves his beard, dyes his hair pink, and becomes not just trans, but a trans activist.
	Throws the first round, and then he can really turn it on.
	What's that?
	I hate that filter.
	What is this?
	The highlights?
	Very appreciative for Provost to take this fight.
	I know how appreciative it's.
	She hasn't used the Provost.
	Did not find it.
	Protection there from Provost.
	See, that stopped.
	That's awesome.
	She has never been hit like that before.
	She just got hit with a man's punch, and she literally says, ow!
	What was that?
	What the fuck?
	She does that multiple times.
	Do the car just plow into me?
	Whoa.
	Right there.
	What the fuck?
	This is the left's utopia.
	This is their idea of equality.
	Women getting the shit beaten out of them.
	This is what life is like without the patriarchy.
	He's pretending to struggle, by the way.
	Smash the patriarchy?
	Okay.
	Smash the patriarchy and women get smashed in the face.
	There's a lot of fake struggle there.
	Fake weak punches.
	It's so obvious.
	You can tell her jab is just like a...
	Yeah, look.
	Look at that.
	Fake.
	So fake.
	Oh.
	That one too.
	Oh, that's some short patches.
	That jab that barely got me really rocked my world.
	And then he can finally fucking.
	You know what?
	Maybe there's some deep-seated resentment.
	Because I've always sensed gays have this weird kind of evil misogyny in them.
	Like when we're misogynists, we're just kidding.
	Like, it's nice to get away from broads, huh?
	Hey, go make me a sandwich.
	There's no hatred there, obviously.
	We worship them.
	They're magic.
	They give us children.
	So we're like, you're stupid.
	Same way I think Yankees fans are stupid.
	But with them, I want to be a woman.
	I want to be a woman.
	And I can never be a woman.
	And it's so hard for me.
	I got to take all these pills.
	It's so hard for me to get just that little bit of femininity.
	And I look at you, you fucking bitch.
	And you do it so easily.
	It's so effortless for you.
	You fucking whore.
	You fucking bitch.
	He's so mad that she gets it all.
	It's like it's jealousy, basically.
	So in these fights, I just made this up, but I think it's a good theory.
	These men with tits are punching the shit out of the woman they can never be.
	There's something even darker there, too, because they don't need them for any reason.
	Men need women, straight men, and gay men don't.
	They have no use for them.
	I would say drag queens are an attack on women.
	Drag queens are a minstrel show.
	You're mocking women.
	Now, maybe you're mocking the fact that you feel this way, and it's self-mockery, and you're mocking the fact that you'll never be female.
	That's conceivable.
	But I think it's also everything bad they say about blackface.
	You're lampooning them, and you're doing it because you hate them.
	They eat the lamp poo-poo.
	I love lamp poo-poo.
	This has also been...
	This has been going around.
	We can't talk about it tomorrow.
	It's amazing how many letters we got yesterday about September 11th.
	Do you think I'm going to do a September 11th show today?
	Would that be current?
	Guys, I told you on Thursday night to send me all your September 11th letters.
	I got like 100 yesterday.
	It's a news show, folks.
	You got to be a little quicker.
	Look at this fuckhead, though.
	So there was a memorial.
	They're all over the states.
	They put up 2,977 American flags.
	This guy takes them down because if you're going to put those up, you have to include the fact that America invaded the Middle East after.
	Remember, Enrique Tario was in jail for burning a flag.
	Hi.
	Who are you?
	Beat him up.
	Okay.
	Kind of weird when some random person just walks up and photographs you.
	Sorry to offend you.
	He feels uncomfortable.
	But there's more in that thread.
	When asked, wait, go up.
	When asked why he vandalized the display, Fidel Ali Calini told Young Americans for Freedom, I did not violate any university or legal policy.
	Now go away.
	Keep going.
	Oh, he's deleted all his posts.
	Let's, like, no, click on that link.
	Yeah, see, he's removed all his shit.
	He's probably getting death threats.
	Imagine, I mean, these aren't just, like, people who killed Muslims.
	These are people who were killed by Muslims.
	You're not allowed to recognize that?
	We condemn the blah, blah, blah.
	Yeah, okay.
	Another thing that can't wait till tomorrow is this viral video going around where this black guy is fucking with some innocent old man.
	And what's amazing to me about it is that he wouldn't think there'd be a problem with that.
	It's the same as the teachers, the libs of TikTok teachers, the way they so shamelessly put up their videos.
	So it's not that this guy was caught doing something shitty to an old person.
	It's that he recorded it and put it out there.
	That's really the takeaway from this, is how totally fucking shameless it is.
	In other words, we haven't taught our young people that this is a shitty way to be.
	In fact, we've taught him the opposite.
	We've taught him that he grew up in a racist society and that old white man made all his money off of cotton picking while your dad was a slave.
	This is the result of woke Marxism in schools.
	It's blacks getting revenge on old whites.
	Oh, you're hungry.
	I'd advise you to go in the kitchen and fix yourself something to eat.
	I said I advise you to go in the kitchen and fix yourself something to eat.
	I'm so hard of hearing.
	By the way, he's not hard of hearing.
	You can't speak English.
	You're hunk.
	You's hungry.
	You is?
	How does this guy have a job there?
	Is this the chick from that Tyler Perry movie?
	From the bathtub scene?
	The one where she rolls him into the wheelchair in the hot tub.
	This also can't wait till tomorrow.
	These kids trolled Biden.
	I assume CNN's going to be doxing them any second now.
	President Joe Biden was pictured Saturday with kids wearing MAGA hats.
	Some praised the photo.
	Founder of a conservative nonprofit praised the picture.
	Phone producer Errol tweeted Joe Biden got punked by Trump kids.
	Is he so oblivious that he didn't notice their hats?
	You'll see the picture in a second.
	Or did they sort of snake him on at the last second?
	Let's see the picture.
	It's pretty great.
	Wait, did the hold on a second.
	It said the fire department apology, post an apology if people were offended by the 9-11 post, including images of Biden.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	But what am I not getting here?
	That Biden was in the picture?
	Sorry if that offended people?
	No, that would be included.
	He said including.
	So they're just covering their asses.
	But look at that.
	Go back up.
	So I understand missing the shirts.
	You can't be looking at every single person's shirt you take a picture with.
	But Trump, red Trump hat is pretty fucking big.
	So did you think she had that on?
	I think she had that on, and he's so oblivious he didn't notice.
	I mean, that's really the takeaway for this thing, is that Biden is so blind he can't see Trump hats in his face.
	So that was fun.
	And then finally, Pam Keith, a former Democratic candidate for Congress, said that January 6th, she thought September 11th was the worst thing that ever happened to America, but now it's January 6th.
	Nothing comes close.
	On 1-6, 2021, and then new sentence, 9-11 ceased being the worst thing that happened to America in my lifetime.
	It's really weird and painful to process and say that, but it's the truth.
	And quite frankly, it's not even close.
	So the meandering that really got one person killed, and it was an innocent white woman by an angry black man, the meandering was worse than 3,000 people getting killed when two planes smashed in to the World Trade Center.
	What the fuck?
	So she got trolled for that, but it wasn't that unusual of a sentiment.
	Look, the sun.
	I forgot to number these.
	She's the bookshelf shower curtain lady.
	Go to the last link there.
	Yeah.
	I saw a few people saying this, though.
	And that really shows you where their brains are at.
	3,000 people is as bad as one.
	I told you the guy at my fucking bar, blue-collar mechanic, said, every one of those guys you went there should get 10 years.
	What?
	All right, do you have any footage from our fun trip?
	There was that one you sent me the Apple News separately?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	See, that's what I mean by it wasn't that rare of a concept.
	Go back.
	So Apple News, I don't get those alerts.
	It's weird how many of my friends will read Apple News and Yahoo News and stuff.
	How the 9-11 attacks ushered in an era of fear and mistrust in the U.S. and set the stage for the January 6th insurrection.
	That's such a weird angle.
	Isn't it?
	So are you saying that it made us paranoid?
	I think we have a right to be paranoid after Muslims crash into the World Trade Center.
	But the implication there is that the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, radical Islam, is the same as the Capitol building.
	I mean, flesh out your hypothesis here, folks, at Apple News.
	What are you saying?
	Are you saying that the people who invaded the Capitol are Islamophobes who were traumatized by 9-11 and that's why they stormed the Capitol?
	No.
	The insurrection was 100% anger at a stolen election.
	Now, within that, there was anger at how the media covers Trump and the election and the way they're treated in the media.
	That was definitely part of it.
	But 9-11 had fuck all to do with January 6th.
	Obviously, you fucking retards.
	Covered all that.
	Do you have any footage?
	I think I already spilled the beans on them.
	What, you made a little video?
	I'm just playing this in the background.
	This is just B-roll behind some Vegas talk.
	Like, I want to have a censored meetup there.
	It could coincide with Westfest.
	But, um...
	I don't know.
	It's like, Vegas is so depressing.
	It is.
	But I kind of like it.
	And maybe we should avoid downtown next time and do the main strip.
	That might be a little cheerier.
	New Vegas, yeah.
	Like that, that seeing those meth heads was just disgusting.
	We got some of that post-apocalyptic Vegas stuff here.
	And not only is it depressing and gross, right, when you're walking around downtown, it's 110 degrees and gross.
	At least Seattle and Portland, you're comfortable as you throw up looking at vomit on the street.
	It's such a ghost town in these areas that it looks like they built stuff for a world that doesn't exist anymore.
	Like houses that don't exist.
	Yeah, it looks like there was a nuclear war 50 years ago.
	Just about right.
	And we're slowly rebuilding society.
	Of course, with the radiation, it's very hot out.
	But every time I got an Uber, I just felt like saying, what are you doing here?
	How can you live here?
	Even that cool house Proud Boys rented, look at that guy.
	He takes, I don't know, cornstalk leaves and he makes little flowers out of them.
	And then girls stripping on the bar are not hot.
	The guy playing drums on the buckets is okay.
	Yeah, the entertainment stuff types, it tends to like, you get Tom Brady.
	You're used to it, and then you're like, okay, this is just.
	I saw some old lady with giant tits that hung down to her knees, and she was wearing an old lady mask on her old lady face.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	And it said, broke as shit, need money.
	Okay, careful not to dox anyone here.
	No, I check this.
	It's just the back of heads.
	I got in a fight with one of the proud boys where he's like, yeah, I got a great relationship with my son.
	You know, at 19, he came back in my life and he told me he's gay.
	And I was like, well, let's go to a gay bar.
	I can't go in the past.
	And the kid goes, I hated you growing up because mom remarried this black dude who used to beat the shit out of me and her.
	And I'm like, he's right.
	You did fuck up.
	Well, she moved the kid out of town.
	Yeah, you follow the kid.
	First of all, it's illegal to move more than 50 miles.
	But say it was legal.
	You follow the kid the 50 miles.
	You move in next door.
	You don't let your kid get taken away.
	Go take a cub away from a bear.
	Tell me how that works for you.
	Go take a duckling away from a duck.
	Look at these gross, sad glam rockers doing covers.
	And go back, go back.
	I don't know if you can see this, but their shoes, their shoes are all like dirty and warped.
	They have like old black Reeboks that handicapped people wear.
	Oh yeah.
	Ew, they're all worn out and the tongues are like sideways.
	You know when someone has a cripple and they have a weird walk?
	Yes.
	And their shoes age weird sideways because that's how they stand with their right foot?
	That's what their shoes looked like.
	They're not bringing their best out there.
	Ugh.
	That casino was nice.
	Yeah, that was.
	The circa.
	That's where we're hanging out with the compound guys afterwards.
	Anthony.
	That was very fun.
	That was very cool.
	And here's the guy who started the Chick-fil-A fight.
	Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one.
	So, Dan is a beta male.
	All Ryan's friends are.
	That's what he attracts.
	He must have low tea or something, Ryan.
	And he's at the counter.
	That guy right there with the 20.
	So they're at the counter picking up their meal.
	And Dan goes, Hey, can I get a bit of milk in my coffee?
	Not too much, though.
	Do you have any cream?
	I'd prefer cream.
	And the guy goes, Hey, maybe if you're so particular about your coffee, you can be particular about your mask and put it over your nose.
	And then what did you guys say?
	He kind of said it to me, though.
	So I was weird out by that.
	I was like, what's that?
	And I leaned forward towards him.
	I didn't have the mask on.
	He's like, put your mask on your face.
	If you're that particular about, he thinks this is an awesome line, so he repeats it.
	He's like, if you're so particular about the food, why aren't you particular about the mask?
	Meanwhile, the line is full of guys with their nose peeking out over there.
	That's what I said right afterwards.
	Yeah, I was like, all right, well, maybe if you asked me nicely, I'd put it on.
	I put it down for a second, but you're rude.
	You're rude.
	And he was kind of taken aback.
	He thought maybe I was just like one of these Asians.
	Like, sorry.
	But anyway, so I was like, what about those guys?
	Those guys, they're big guys.
	They have no mask on.
	I was like, those guys got no masks.
	You want to tell them?
	I was like, guys, this guy's got something to say about your mask.
	And they're like, what's that?
	He's like, well, just that if you're so particular.
	No, I can't use that.
	He's just nervous.
	And then now this other kid, like this total hillbilly kid, is sitting there drinking a neon blue cup.
	And he's like, why?
	Don't spoil it yet.
	So he's like, the guy keeps yelling.
	He's like, it's science.
	It's science.
	It's science.
	Yeah, he's screaming.
	It's science.
	His wife is like, honey, please stop.
	And the redneck kid's like, what the fuck's he talking about?
	I was like, he's Joe Biden voter.
	He's pissed about the masks.
	He's like, oh, dude, fuck the masks.
	Fuck Joe Biden.
	I was like, what are you drinking?
	He was like, oh, it's Plight and Tequila.
	So if you're hungover, you can get drunk and restore your electrolytes.
	I was like, that's good plan.
	Now that's science.
	That's science.
	And then the whole line started just hating this man.
	And then his wife, poor wife, was just like, yikes.
	Well, the crazy thing about it is he's saying it's science.
	It's science.
	To wear your mask in the line.
	Surrounding us are people sitting down with no mask, as is the rule.
	So is that science?
	He doesn't care.
	The other thing I didn't get is, so you got your Chick-fil-A now.
	Where are you going?
	Are you going back to your room to eat it?
	Or are you going to sit down at a table?
	Are you going to take your mask off?
	What's your plan?
	Why are you in Vegas?
	Why are you in Vegas?
	It's a right-wing place, generally.
	And I apologize for itching my nose so much.
	I got whiskers going up into it and tickling me.
	It's a right-wing place.
	And everyone's sitting down.
	You're in a crowded area.
	You're in a crowded area.
	We met people that had a pigeon.
	That was their pet pigeon.
	You would have loved them.
	They're from California.
	It's a family mom, dad, kid, and pigeon.
	They bring him all over the place.
	He's got a cage, like a bubble boy cage, and they have a little cooling pack so that way he doesn't get hot.
	And that's what he does.
	They try to pet him, and he kind of just doesn't like it, and he just bobs his head around.
	What's he eating there?
	That's his little toy.
	He likes that toy?
	He loves that toy.
	As much as a pigeon could love anything.
	Someone needs to break it to these pet owners that pets have no feelings and they're not people.
	What did we just watch?
	I'm having some kind of a sinus breakdown.
	Was that a yawn or the whole audience was waiting for a sneeze and then you yawned?
	It was both.
	It was like a sneeze that got killed by a yawn.
	All my instincts in my face are going sideways.
	I haven't seen anything like that before.
	That was funny.
	Is that it for the B-roll?
	There's a Pat Dixon thing, right?
	Yeah.
	There's a little interview.
	We could tag it on the end of the app or we could watch it now.
	It's about a couple minutes.
	Let's watch it and then go to a green screen.
	I've had enough talking about Vegas.
	All right.
	Then we will hit the Pat interview after this quick bumperoo.
	If you only knew.
	Hey, kind of nervous here.
	We're backstage.
	It's in Las Vegas.
	Las Vegas.
	Las Vegas.
	What a thing.
	We're downtown.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	Stop.
	That's unlistenable.
	Ryan, you gotta work out your audio skills here.
	I assumed this was working.
	You can't hear shit.
	It's not usable footage.
	You should tell me before we put something up that it's not usable.
	Anyway.
	New subject.
	Let's reboot the show.
	Amber Ruffin.
	She's from Nebraska.
	It's Omaha, Nebraska.
	I think Omaha is about 12% black, but Nebraska is only about 5%.
	It's a white state.
	It's white culture.
	It's like Washington and other Midwestern Rust Belt kind of places.
	Wonderful place.
	Don't get me wrong.
	I love Nebraska.
	But to come from there and devote your whole life to racism and being black is just blackface, really.
	She's a wigger.
	She is a spoiled brat.
	She got a degree in improv, but is terrible on stage, so she just became a writer, comedy writer, and her parents would send her places.
	Her mother would, I assume her dad isn't around.
	And she spent some time living in Amsterdam doing improv.
	What does that mean?
	English improv?
	Anyway, she met a white man there because if you go to Europe and you're black, you can get way out of your league.
	Sort of like that sleeping giants chick, Mandini, Mangini, Manini.
	So she comes back with him, they're married, and then she starts giving him the black business because she's from Nebraska, the hood.
	And she goes, look, you've got to understand, when we, because he was yelling at someone for doing something bad, he might be a butt boy for all we know.
	And she said, look, you can't do that.
	You can do it if you're alone, but if I'm with you, you can't because the police will come and then I'll go to jail because I'm black.
	Which he probably likes.
	That's probably why he married her.
	He wanted some of the cachet of being with the oppressed.
	She's not oppressed.
	Yet, she's anyone's dog for a bone.
	So her story was she decides just to live on her blackness in this business.
	And back when, remember this controversy?
	I've repeated it a few times, but the problem was that there weren't enough black women on SNL.
	And the fat black dude, what's his name again?
	Keenan Wayans or something?
	He goes, yeah, I go to auditions with Lorne.
	And unfortunately, a lot of these women, black women, aren't ready.
	I mean, I'd love to have them, but that's just, it's the auditions.
	So it's not us, so he's defending himself and his company saying, it's not like we're seeing all these awesome black women and saying, no.
	We're just seeing them when they're not ready.
	I wish there was more.
	I want more.
	We're not racist.
	It's sort of like they go, blacks keep getting pulled over on traffic stops.
	Yeah, because they commit more traffic crimes.
	Sorry, it's possible that the blacks are responsible for these things, is all he said.
	Anyway, that blew up and became SNL is racist.
	So she auditioned for a role on it.
	And the bar was low.
	They were about to take anyone.
	So they took Leslie Jones, who was terrible.
	She was a failed comic who had given up on comedy.
	And I guess she wanted to go back to her roots, which was helping her brother deal crack.
	She came on.
	The NAACP hated her.
	They said she was racist because she did slave jokes.
	I'm not even fucking kidding.
	Anyway, Seth Meyers, who's a lackey over there.
	He's a company man who's not funny, but if you have your nose to the grindstone over there in that industry, they eventually set you up.
	And she knew that.
	So she goes, I'm a hard worker.
	I'm black.
	Fuck talent.
	I'll just work hard.
	And Seth Meyer maybe recognized her as a fellow talentless hack.
	So he hired her for his show.
	And she does his show regularly.
	And she also works with the government to help promote their agenda using comedy.
	Now, they obviously have a massive budget to help black people get vaccinated because it's the Achilles heel with COVID.
	The problem with COVID is blacks aren't into it.
	And that's really bad because they need to get to 100%.
	And if the only ones that aren't getting it are black, now it's a racist thing.
	And all their eggs are in the race basket.
	And the Dems have a good track record on controlling black people.
	You know, what did LBGs say?
	We'll have these niggers voting for us for 100 years.
	But for some reason, it's not working out with vaccine.
	So this talentless comedian is focused on promoting the vaccine.
	Not only does she put it on her show, which I'm sure she gets a little side check for, but she actually glaringly, obviously, very openly works for the CDC.
	So here's some examples.
	This whole idea for this green screen was sent in by a baby monster.
	So thanks for doing our research.
	I wouldn't have come across this normally.
	I don't pay attention to Seth Myers.
	Does anyone?
	All right, so here she is with some other dude I'm supposed to recognize covering poison, but telling you the vaccine's not poison.
	The FDA recently approved Pfizer's COVID-19 vaccine, which is freaking great news.
	Now, a lot of people felt skeptical because the emergency rollout didn't give enough time to thoroughly vet it.
	Well, now they have.
	And you can relax knowing that there is no poison in the vaccine.
	Isn't that right, James?
	It sure is, Amber.
	Poison.
	In fact, we have a song for all those who may still be on the fence about getting vaccinated.
	Fighter vaccine in full effect.
	Are you ready, James?
	I'm ready.
	You ready, Amber?
	Yeah, I'm ready.
	Hold on a second.
	Have you noticed, by the way, that they keep choosing these really, really out-of-date rap songs?
	Bel Biv DeVoe.
	The other one was the guy from Run DMC.
	I don't think you're changing a lot of post-Generation X minds with Bel Biv DeVoe.
	Are you?
	Have you even heard of this song, Ryan?
	Okay.
	Poison's kind of a hit.
	Girl, I must warn you.
	I sense that you're causing lots of harm.
	The situation is serious.
	Let's cure it with two shots in the arm.
	It kind of has a minstrel vibe, doesn't it?
	Oh, this is weird.
	So she's written this.
	Her whole business is anti-white stuff.
	And of course she's married to a white man.
	But so this is the people who are not getting the vaccine are me, the horse D-Wormer people, Joe Rogan.
	We watch too much Fox News.
	We're stupid conservatives.
	Yet, this is a rap song and it's meant to appeal to black people.
	What the fuck is going on?
	Do these two realize what percentage of the black population is refusing the vaccine?
	I mean, it's the majority of anti-vaxxers.
	Wow, yay!
	You're doing a circle thing.
	How did you learn to dance black in Nebraska and the Netherlands?
	Information.
	Now, some of them did.
	There is no poison.
	Woo!
	FDA of Computer Sky Narrative.
	This is comedy.
	This is on Seth Meyer.
	So you tune in to be amused after a hard day's work.
	You're up late and you're treated to dancing propaganda.
	Facebook.
	Is that it?
	It ends there, Ryan?
	So the woman is devoid of talent.
	I assume she wrote that.
	I hope she wrote that.
	And it's fucking terrible.
	What's this?
	She's pregnant?
	She doesn't take her husband's last name because it's too weird.
	Enjoys a lunch.
	Why are you showing me this?
	Yeah, we know.
	He's from the Netherlands.
	What did you think he was going to look like?
	I didn't even have to show people.
	All right, so what's the next video the baby monster sent?
	The Texas Heartbeat Bill has become six weeks or later.
	Here to talk about it is Amber Ruffin with Amber's Minute of Fury.
	Nice font choice.
	Every politician in Texas wants to be in charge of my body so bad.
	Well, if you're going to be in charge of my body, really do it then.
	Be in charge of my whole body, fro to toes.
	Make it all your problem.
	I'm lactose intolerant and I love ice cream.
	So every time I want to have Dairy Queen, tackle me.
	And you better be strong too because I love a peanut butter parfait.
	Tell form.
	First of all, why do they all scream like Mike Michelle Wolf?
	Is that the new thing in comedy?
	Secondly, that's a super corny joke.
	Tackle me every time I go to Dairy Queen.
	And thirdly, that's ancient news.
	That's been done a million times.
	I think most notably the one that male Kurt Metzger wrote for Amy, what's her name?
	What's her name?
	Schumer, where this guy is paid to come and whack Twinkies out of her hand at work so she doesn't get fat.
	So the only mildly amusing joke, this entire green screen was stolen and it's not amusing.
	She actually wrecked it.
	Smashing a Twinkie into someone's hand when they're sort of stunned and then the guy disappearing, that's funny.
	But verbally saying, you should tackle me so I don't have too much milk products.
	Rita's in amber that she can't have a fit.
	Try and reason with her.
	I dare you.
	If you want to be in charge, be in charge.
	Manage my calorie intake.
	Throw out my candy.
	Good luck finding the candy I have hidden from my husband.
	He can't find it.
	And he knows me.
	And if I have the poops, that's on you.
	You should have made sure I didn't eat that food I knew damn well was too old.
	Wait, wait.
	That's the same as the lactose intolerant joke.
	So she went lactose intolerant.
	Then she said, I eat tons of candy, which I don't believe.
	And then she went back to milk gives me the poops.
	Like, at least get her an editor or something to go over the notes.
	Are they too scared of black women to tell them when they're not funny?
	In charge of one part of my body.
	What kind of sense does that make?
	Be in charge of my nappy head of hair.
	Find my curl pattern.
	You want us to monitor your whole body.
	One part of your body makes living beings.
	And we don't want you to kill that living being.
	We gave you a window, which pro-lifers are not happy about.
	It just shows you that they don't want compromise.
	They're like Palestinians.
	They want all of Israel.
	They don't want a deal, a two-state solution.
	So I want all my body, nine months I get to have an abortion.
	Otherwise, fuck your six weeks is what she's saying.
	And it's not the same as me falling the curls of your hair.
	What kind of logic is that?
	It's that kind of logic.
	A living being is more important than your fro.
	Way to make it all about you, by the way.
	Notice that with female comedians?
	It's always me, me, me, my fro, my lactose intolerance, my weight, my beauty.
	Shh.
	Fuck me into or out of getting dreads every six months.
	I honestly don't know what to do.
	Should I?
	I can't.
	I should.
	I can't.
	And find my goddamn bonnet.
	All I'm saying is, if you're in charge of one region of my body, what sense does that make?
	Just the uterus?
	Find my goddamn bonnet?
	Is that those big stupid hats?
	Shower cap hats.
	That's the shower cap hats?
	So she loses that?
	Is that my job?
	This is so unbelievably terrible.
	I'm bad.
	I'm bad.
	I'm happy.
	I'm bad.
	We know it.
	I'm happy because I thought the show was starting off a little lackluster.
	WestFest was, the Vegas talk was a little too family vacation photos, but this is good.
	I've never seen writing this bad on mainstream television before.
	At least take the whole bottom half.
	I want a federally funded pedicure.
	You can even pick the color.
	I can never decide anyway.
	Should it be a French pedicure?
	I can't.
	I should.
	I can't.
	So just make them so I can wear sandals without feeling sad.
	Can you do that?
	Of course you can't, you dumb.
	So don't take charge of the biggest disorder.
	Silent.
	Dead silent.
	And these are people that are dying to laugh.
	You got to understand, too, when you go see Seth Meyers, you got a babysitter, you got the night out.
	You are almost like sucking laughs out of your own face just to get him going.
	Come on, come on.
	Be funny.
	You'll take anything.
	And still, she's got nothing to give.
	I'll ever make in my whole life when you can't even get me a goddamn pedicure.
	This has been Amber's Minute of Fury.
	So insincere.
	So unfunny.
	So painful.
	By the way, Amber, wait, what's that?
	That's the wrong thing, dummy.
	That's not Amber Ruffin.
	That's the final video.
	But, man, you fucking threw me off, you dickweed.
	She doesn't have kids.
	She's 42.
	She waited too long.
	She was too busy indulging herself in her improv career, which has finally made it somewhere.
	But she's childless.
	And you'll notice a lot of these liberals who are really angry about children don't have any because they fucked up.
	So congratulations on using abortion as birth control.
	It's left you childless and pointless, where you're a workaholic totally devoted to your job that you suck at.
	So your whole life is a total and utter waste.
	Your existence is a joke and it's not funny.
	So there should be another one there, Ryan.
	She got hired by the CDC.
	Yeah, there we go.
	She got hired by the CDC to do more medical propaganda comedy, which is a new genre of comedy I don't think should exist.
	And this is to deal with people who, women, sorry, well, no, we see people now, right?
	It could be men with vaginas.
	People who are scared to go to the gynecologist.
	Is that a thing?
	Are we so pampered you're scared to go to the fucking doctor?
	Maybe when you're 13.
	Who the fuck is scared to go to the gynecologist?
	I had my urologist, I had to beat off next to my urologist when I had Peironi's disease.
	You can show someone your cunt.
	Make sure it's not broken.
	Under the Paper Gown with Amber Ruffin and her sister.
	And she did a book with her sister.
	I think her sister's name's Lacey or something.
	And the book's called What Happened to Lacey.
	And the book is all about all the racist shit that she had to go through.
	And you know, I haven't read it, but you know what it is, right?
	It's like someone said the N-word when she was 11 in school or someone touched her hair and all these other stupid things that like punks go through.
	Like punk rockers have the same stories as blacks in Nebraska on how horrible their lives were.
	We used to get the shit beaten out of us for being punk.
	And you had someone say a rude word.
	Like my buddy the other day was going, no, anti-Semitism is real.
	They called my kids Jew boys.
	And I'm like, yeah, they call someone with a mole on their nose shit nose.
	That's how people talk.
	That's how kids talk.
	Was there a job that you were qualified for that you couldn't get?
	Because you're at a job now that you're not qualified for that you got.
	So your very existence disproves this myth of racism.
	You have a sympathy job.
	Everyone is sitting there going, hey, I really liked your lactose intolerance bit.
	So let's check her out with her sister, who she got a job.
	Amber, what are you doing?
	I'm trying to familiarize myself with robes.
	What?
	Why?
	Because I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I'm never sure which way the robe is supposed to go.
	Like, is it like this?
	Eh?
	Or is it supposed to go on like this?
	Stop.
	How is this the meat of a bit?
	Everyone knows that your bathroom robe goes on backwards.
	There's a million jokes about them being able to see your butt cheeks through the back of the robe.
	I mean, how long have bathroom robes been around?
	Who doesn't know this?
	Is this for 11-year-olds?
	Is there something I don't know?
	Maybe there's a demographic cultural thing I'm not aware of.
	Are blacks scared of gynecologists?
	Is that a thing?
	Well, as you can see, everything in this bit is very black culture, so I don't blame you for not getting it.
	Yeah.
	This is really.
	Classic black kitchen with the, what are those hexagons?
	One, two, three, four, five, six.
	Hexagon shelving things with chia seeds.
	You know how it is with black kitchens.
	They love apples.
	There's always a big bowl of apples at a black woman's house.
	It feels like you're overthinking.
	It feels like you're underhelping.
	You know what?
	I'm just not going to go.
	Okay, what is this really about?
	I don't want to go to the gynecologist.
	It's always so awkward.
	It's not that bad.
	Yes, it is.
	The doctor's hands are always icicles.
	They always ask, when was your last period?
	And I'm like, I don't know, March 37th?
	That's not a date.
	Exactly.
	And then they always say that one phrase over and over again, scoot down a little more.
	Scoot down a little more.
	Scoot down a little more.
	Could you scoot down a little more?
	Look, going to the gynecologist isn't...
	Has there been a semblance of a joke?
	I mean, I guess when she put on the robe and she went, huh?
	And then put it on the other way and went, huh?
	That's kind of a joke.
	And then the other things are noticing patterns at the gynecologist.
	Yeah, their hands are probably too cold.
	Especially on a pussy.
	I mean, what's your body temperature supposed to be, like 90 degrees?
	Oh, wait, hands are also a part of the body.
	But I guess when he watched them, they got a little cooler.
	Anyway, sorry, what the fuck?
	Her sister is even shittier than her.
	Isn't anyone's idea of a stress-free afternoon?
	But you have to go at some point, right?
	Might as well be tomorrow.
	Well, what if I say something weird and then the doctor judges me?
	What could you possibly say that the doctor hasn't heard before?
	I was going to ask why my vagina changes color with my mood.
	That's oddly specific.
	My point is, she's your gynecologist.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	That's oddly specific.
	It's not oddly specific.
	It's odd.
	And your vagina doesn't change color with your mood.
	And look at her face after that.
	She goes...
	She's getting by on her charm.
	Yeah, what charm?
	Dude, that's oddly specific.
	My point is, she's your gynecologist.
	It's her whole job not to judge you.
	Okay.
	Just for kids.
	I'll go.
	Now will you help untangle me?
	No.
	Wait, what?
	How is she tangled?
	She's wearing a robe.
	Wait, at the beginning of the thing, she was putting it on forwards and backwards like it ain't no thing.
	And now she's like, help untangle me?
	And she has her phone ready to go for the picture of...
	How tangled up is she?
	How is that tangled?
	Look.
	The level of incompetence is shocking.
	Jesus.
	gotta stop taking the Lord's name in vain.
	I'm sorry, fellow Catholics.
	That's rude.
	It's just such a great bad word.
	Uh wow, she sucks.
	Yes.
	Really, really bad.
	I feel like she's copying somebody, like that cutesiness that, like, I don't know.
	Maybe Michelle Wolf.
	Oh, yeah.
	Little Sarah Silverman, little Michelle Wolf with the cutesiness.
	I kind of want to rewrite her bits.
	Like, okay, you want to control my body?
	So do I. Why do I lust Liam Neeson?
	I don't know.
	The problem with jokes about abortion is you're talking about a dead baby.
	So no matter where you are on the subject, it's not really comedy time.
	It's not really your body either.
	There's another body in you with different DNA that's not yours.
	Yeah.
	I mean, the two points they use is that, you know, you're making me have a baby and that's some sort of rape and I'm going to just do it anyway and I'll die.
	And then the other one is these kids grow up sad and lonely and it's kind of got anti-black overtones.
	You'll notice a lot of bona fide racists are pro-abortion because they know that tens of thousands of black abortions are everywhere.
	You know who's like that?
	Howard Stern.
	He's always, he says that, and you can hear Robin getting slightly uncomfortable, but he'll say, yeah, do we really want some poor kid going to end up as a crackhead living on the streets just because the mother didn't have reproductive rights?
	Oh, so blacks?
	You know, a massive number of abortions are married women who already have a kid and then don't feel like they're ready for another kid.
	In other words, kids that would have been just fine.
	Amber Tamblin had an abortion as she was engaged to David Cross and then had a baby like, I don't know, a year later.
	So she murdered a baby because he was a little early.
	That's a massive number of abortions is women just finding it inconvenient.
	Not, I live on the streets and I don't want to make another crackhead.
	But yeah, I can't think of a way you could possibly do a good abortion bit.
	And I can't think of a possible way Amber Ruffin could do anything remotely funny.
	Why does she have a career?
	Because she's black.
	Am I right or am I right?
	You're right.
	And also, isn't she kind of admitting that that's good if she were to not eat ice cream and fuck herself up and have the poops and stuff?
	Well, it's got a weird pro-communist thing.
	Right.
	Where if the state controlled every part of my body, I'd be happier.
	That'd be great.
	There, that's your angle.
	I thought you guys were capitalists.
	But the problem is, too, that there's a lot of black people involved.
	They always ignore demographics for this.
	So with the gynecologist thing, maybe I'm naive.
	I don't know any woman that's ever been remotely...
	I mean, they don't love it.
	They talk about the clamps being cold.
	But have you ever met a woman who's like, oh, I ain't going to no gynecologist?
	They're voodoo doctors.
	Have you ever heard of that?
	No.
	Maybe it's a black thing.
	I've always asked too, I'm like, isn't that weird?
	You got to like just show your box?
	And they're like, no.
	Whether it's a man, like an old Chinese guy or a woman or whatever.
	I would want a woman if I was a woman.
	Yeah, true.
	I don't like dudes finger up my twat.
	Get your hands off my twat.
	Yeah.
	I feel like we're being too sexist, though, and I want some to clear the palate with some good female comedy.
	What have you got?
	Remember that girl you said that all the real asshole dudes are saying, ah, she's not bad.
	Yeah.
	I think it's like, I want to say Pepper Pots or something.
	I found it the other day.
	I also want to look up...
	Remember Kale Hartman?
	Yeah, of course.
	So he was framed.
	He was Me Too'd into oblivion.
	No hope of ever having a career.
	No hope of getting a date.
	Because when you Google him, the first thing you see is rapist, rapist, rapist.
	And I believe a big part of her doing that was to get attention for herself.
	She had a comedy album going out, coming out.
	And as Pat Dixon showed, and I could hear him when he said this, unlike today's show, it was like interest in her was like this.
	And then with the Me Too thing, it went through the roof right as her comedy CD came out.
	But I don't think she has any talent, exactly like Amber Ruffin.
	So it'd be interesting to see where she is today.
	So that's two live research things we have to do on the show now.
	Her name was, I think, Beth Stelling.
	Yes, I think it was Beth Stelling.
	This is Rosebud Baker.
	So this is the new chick who's good?
	Yes.
	Everybody's saying, all the good comedians are saying she's actually good.
	All right, let's cleanse our palate with some female talent, folks.
	I like their outfit.
	It's weird.
	Oh, my goodness.
	Oh, my God, my nipples got hard.
	Wow.
	I'm really hoping I can keep my fucking thoughts together.
	I started intermittent fasting this week.
	I like to call it white Ramadan.
	That's what I like to call it.
	I'm going to say one thing about COVID, and then that's it.
	All right?
	Because I've been in New York for a year.
	And in New York, we would get on our rooftop every night at 7 p.m. at the beginning of the pandemic, and we would clap for the healthcare heroes.
	That's what we would do.
	Okay?
	Just jump up on our fucking fire escapes and this will fix it, you know?
	It was a nice thing.
	It was for a month.
	And then another month went by.
	And then another month went by.
	And then everybody was dead.
	And we were still clapping.
	I was like, this is starting to feel like we're cheering for the losing team, folks.
	Don't get me wrong, I think it's a very sweet gesture if you don't have COVID.
	But if I had COVID and I'm sitting in a hospital bed surrounded by people who can't cure me and every night I'm listening to them get a fucking applause break, I'd start to take it a little personally.
	See?
	Great comedy.
	New angle.
	That's what good art is.
	It takes something that's right in front of you, it puts it in a different lens, and it gives you a fun, new take on it.
	Schwink.
	Schlink.
	And it's like, she's got a nice point of view, and it's not like a character, but it's a person who's got a point of view, right?
	Established right off the bat.
	You know, a lot of it, too, is sincerity.
	You can tell she's being herself.
	And Amber Ruffin is so nervous and talentless and not in the right world.
	Most women would be happier at home.
	This is a clear example of a woman who should have bred with that Dutch nerd and made some kids.
	And instead, she chose to stay up with Seth Meyers all night writing jokes about milk giving her diarrhea.
	So that's the chick that ruined Kale Hartman's life.
	Is that a new special?
	This is from a month ago.
	Oh, shit.
	So she's on Comedy Central.
	It's her divorce.
	Did I say that?
	Or is that obvious?
	Oh, she's doing the character thing.
	At Christmastime, my mother gave me the ring that my dad gave her.
	And I was just like, this is haunted.
	Now, my mother did remarry.
	She accidentally married the local church organist.
	And they got married on my ninth birthday.
	Not a gift.
	And I did not smile in a single wedding photo, which I feel great about to this day.
	Still feel really good about it.
	And my mother is gorgeous.
	I mean.
	And he was extraordinarily ugly.
	I don't know what you have to do to earn your chin in the womb, but he didn't do it.
	Your chin in the wind?
	Chin in the womb.
	I don't get it.
	And he had this face.
	Oh, I see when you're a baby.
	Cover up his ugly face.
	And we had one bathroom for all of us, all of us, me and my mom, my sisters, and him.
	And he would clip his beard over the sink, and it would inevitably, the beard bristles would get into our toothbrushes.
	Right?
	We hate him.
	Everybody hates him.
	Can you imagine a black guys can get away with this?
	Can you imagine a white male talking about how ugly his stepmother is and how gross she was?
	Would not happen.
	People would be uncomfortable.
	She looks comfortable.
	I'm not laughing, though.
	Yeah.
	This broad's funny because she's just like a New York chip.
	This is like a little clip.
	And she's talking about her husband.
	My husband's like anal neat.
	Like he really runs a tight ship around the house.
	And I'll wake up and I know I'm in trouble, but I don't really know like what for yet.
	Oh, wow.
	That sounds like a little role reversal here.
	Yes.
	Like night two of the pandemic, I walk into the kitchen.
	He goes, why are there three open seltzers?
	Like he's backed up.
	Yeah, he's talking about why there are three open seltzers.
	And I'm like, isn't the bigger mystery who could give a fuck why there are three open seltzers?
	Like, what happened?
	They're like 49 cents each, dude.
	It's okay.
	Who gives a ship?
	He'll walk me around and like show me my message.
	I'll be like, what happened here?
	Just talk to me about this.
	It's just weird.
	Three open seltzers.
	I love him.
	There's never going to be a good story behind that.
	It's not like.
	Because you're lazy and you don't find your other stuff.
	My wife does that too.
	The house is littered with LaCroix.
	And they're all like one sip.
	That's terrible.
	So I'm just going bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bug, bubbly, watching my own money go down the drain.
	And she has, she's married, she's got a baby, she's got her shit and checked this room.
	She looks familiar.
	Rachel Feinstein, wait, I know her.
	She was wrapped up in some controversy.
	I think Amy might have stolen one of her jokes, or she claimed that she did.
	Remember that?
	Yeah.
	She was one of the three girls that were left.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I think I had her on my show.
	Maybe you did.
	Actually.
	I remember that.
	She was one of the chicks that got robbed.
	There was the one girl who wanted to talk about it a lot that I had on a bunch of times.
	We got along great.
	And then that woman was more reluctant to talk about it more than once.
	You know, we missed that on a really big cultural event while we were in Westfest.
	It's called Virgin Fest.
	Have you heard of this?
	Yes.
	It's like Zoomers who are angry and red-pilled.
	They're in cells, and I think they're proud of it.
	But they're very...
	So your crew?
	No.
	Your pals.
	My guys fuck.
	Maybe not.
	Really?
	How do you do that?
	Why is Dan does fuck?
	What does he fuck?
	A love doll?
	It doesn't matter.
	Love is love.
	You know what I remembered about one of the West Fests?
	It was at a brothel.
	And there was no prostitutes there at that time.
	And it was just his mom, the guy's mom, he's a proud boy.
	His mom owned it, the brothel.
	Oh, yeah.
	So there's a boxing ring out back.
	And we were fighting, which I don't, almost every West Fest has involved a boxing ring.
	Boxing, when you've been drinking all day, it's knockout juice.
	I mean, how many videos have you seen where some drunk guy's like, I don't need you?
	And someone just goes, boop, and he's out like a light.
	Yeah.
	I don't get it.
	I never do it.
	They give them a transgender fight first round punch.
	Well, there was a the Prowboys saw the schedule on the wall.
	It was Tranny Tuesdays.
	Wow.
	It was a thing.
	It was actually a brothels are illegal, I think, in that area.
	So it's a swingers club.
	And then they got busted years later for being a sex doll brothel.
	Weird.
	And they argued, no, no, no, no.
	It's just a try before you buy thing.
	So we're just, there's samples here.
	We sell them.
	It's legal to sell them.
	I don't think sex doll brothels should be illegal.
	I don't want one in my neighborhood.
	I want to know somebody who closed to one.
	Like the concept, but you're not hurting anyone.
	We got these pics of these tattoos.
	Did you want to show those?
	Sure.
	That's a good one.
	Good.
	Nice pipes.
	Yeah, that's a good pipe.
	That guy's 69, and I was always making 69 jokes.
	Dude, I told you to cover their fucking faces.
	I said, especially the black one.
	I can cover them in post.
	But also, how many black guys in a wheelchair?
	Are they out there, really?
	It's hard to not be noticed as that guy.
	Proud Boy Space Force chapter.
	Let's get high.
	Wow, I want that shirt.
	Oh, a lot of coke.
	It's a pool table that's no one's playing pool on.
	I think they they must have sanded onto the the cue ball.
	How did you forget to cover the black guy's face when I was so specific?
	I did, but when I added all the pictures in preview, and then um and then uh so that one there's the edited one and the original in there.
	And what?
	That one's edited though.
	But your explanation's pathetic.
	So you blacked out all their eyes and then you pulled up the wrong things and put them in preview.
	Yeah, I put them all in there instead of the select ones.
	This one I actually deleted the original, but the other one I suppose I did not do that.
	You suppose?
	Yeah, that's possible.
	Yeah, the other one's not here.
	And that's the best tattoo so far.
	This one's okay.
	What one's okay?
	Could you suck anymore?
	That one's just good because the pipe is so good.
	Oh, it's about the pipe.
	Yeah.
	The guys you brought didn't have pipes.
	Tony's got a little bit of a pipe.
	Who does?
	Tony.
	I'm a little bit of a.
	I'm a pipe.
	I'm the pipe guy out of us.
	I was getting some compliments with a shame.
	Maybe that's why you like hanging out with those guys because you're like the tough dude in the crew.
	We're musicians.
	That's my music group.
	Musicians are all kind of.
	Well, don't invite your nerdy music group to a Proud Boys convention again.
	They were just going to Vegas.
	There was a compound media.
	No, they were following us around like weird anteaters, making terrible jokes, showing up when we're having breakfast, showing up everywhere until I had to scream at them and tell them to fuck off.
	They invited us to breakfast, and we had some great pizza.
	No, you lied to me and said, hey, there's a great pizza place.
	And I go, my phone says it's closed.
	Let's just go to Denny's.
	And you go, but they kicked us out.
	That's not right to give them their money.
	But you didn't mean that.
	You were doing what you always do, which is lying.
	And you had friends planning to go to the other place.
	So you're pretending that you had a different reason to not want to go to Denny's.
	I wanted to go to Pizza Rock.
	But I didn't know about Pizza Rock.
	You tried to bullshit me and I caught you.
	But it was good pizza and good company.
	That's not the point.
	That's not the fucking point.
	This is like I put my card in the machine to get our tickets on the way there.
	And then I'm showing the guy my boarding pass.
	And I realize, holy shit, my credit card's gone.
	I must have left the machine.
	And Ryan's like, no problem.
	I got this.
	So he goes, I'll put our luggage here and I'll run.
	I'm really fast.
	I am fast.
	He literally said that.
	I'm really, I bet I could outrun you.
	Hell no.
	You couldn't guarantee.
	I could definitely outrun you.
	We're going to have a race.
	And so he runs there in his gay little run.
	Awesome run.
	And then he calls me, goes, it's gone.
	Sorry, boss.
	I go, it's like a minute ago.
	How could it be gone?
	I'm talking to people here.
	They haven't seen it.
	So I go, oh, Jesus.
	So I just grab his stupid backpack, which weighs hundreds of pounds.
	I don't know what you brought, lead?
	For a strong man, it doesn't weigh much.
	And I have my normal bag of a normal amount of clothes.
	We're there for three days.
	So I get there, and then one of the guys who works there, he reaches into the machine and he pulls it out.
	And I go, oh, yeah, that's what I figured.
	And Ryan goes, I didn't know it goes in that deep.
	That's correct.
	It literally looked invisible.
	It was invisible.
	It was invisible.
	Yes.
	Have you ever put your card into a machine where you get your boarding pass?
	And every time I've done it, I've taken it back out and I put it back in my wallet.
	Yeah, that's not what we're talking about.
	So checking the machine, I didn't check it.
	That was a mistake, much like leaving a card inside of a machine was a mistake.
	That's how Ryan's brain works.
	You notice, this is why he's so dumb.
	He has a force field.
	So every time there's like, I caught you lying about this, you fucked up on that, he's like, well, people fuck up too, and there's other things, and life is life, and nothing gets in.
	About the pizza, I told you that Tony told me about the pizza.
	And I was like, no, that was way after.
	That was when we were there on the street, up in the hotel room.
	You're like, oh, Denny's, well, they kicked out that proud boy, so we shouldn't give them money.
	They did.
	And I said, Tony told me about this pizza place with big slices.
	Because I didn't know about the big slices.
	Yes, you pretended, though, that it was just us going there.
	And we're just going to check out this big slice place.
	And then when I get there, all these losers start pouring in.
	That you had a great time with.
	Because I had fucking four drinks.
	I didn't know that.
	You didn't know that.
	Did you not see my hand holding a glass?
	Look at your drink hand.
	That's invasive.
	I'm trying to give you your privacy.
	So anyway, this is a guy named School Shooter.
	He had to change his name.
	But I guess he was the main event of this whole thing.
	The cops went there and they thought that they were going to break up the joint.
	And they didn't.
	They hung in there and they chilled with them.
	But they were playing acoustic guitar in the woods because Antifa doxed and convinced the tattoo shop the show was supposed to happen to not host them.
	So it was a whole thing.
	But this was a pretty big cultural little event because you got all these Zoomer kids that are definitely red-pilled.
	They're pretty racist and pretty cool.
	Pretty racist and pretty cool?
	Yeah, they're a little too far for my taste politically, but I think they're great.
	Pretty racist and pretty cool.
	Is that what we should call this episode?
	Yeah.
	Why are you promoting a racist group?
	They're not racist.
	They're just edgy.
	I'm sorry, I thought they were racist when you said they're pretty racist.
	Well, they're not racist by my metrics, but the world would probably consider them racist.
	They do a little bit of statistic stuff.
	It's just pretty much stuff that Zoomer.
	What is it?
	The Groipers.
	It's like Groiper level, but they're musicians and they're inside.
	Do you have any footage of their fun gathering?
	Yeah.
	So there's a couple, like Egg White is a rapper there.
	And then there's that school shooter guy, Negative XP, Virgin Fest.
	And I think you'd think it was pretty cool.
	It's like kind of punk.
	And they are hated by Antifa.
	Isn't it funny how Antifa is all about anarchy?
	Yet they don't let people have things.
	Like, we don't go to their things, they go to our things, and they go to everyone else's things.
	They go to everyone else's things, yeah.
	And then Vice was there reporting, and they were making fun of Vice.
	They're like, oh, that's really cool that Vice is here.
	Fags.
	They're making fun of Vice for being there.
	So there's that.
	And then early on, there was some of this shit.
	And I don't know how different it would have been at the tattoo place, but this is what they did to make do.
	I don't know if they were going to be plugged in or what.
	They were just, I don't know if they had alcohol there.
	They were not allowed to have alcohol in a public park, maybe.
	So I think it was.
	Is it Virgin Fest because they're like saving themselves for marriage?
	It's just like a tongue-in-cheek incel thing.
	Like a lot of them are not virgins, you know, but my buddy went to this, my buddy Neat Dreams.
	And it looked fucking cool.
	And this was happening as well as the VMAs, another cultural thing in music while we were at Westfest, but that apparently sucked.
	I didn't mention the VMAs because it's totally irrelevant.
	But this is the real musical event.
	And where'd this go down?
	Georgia.
	Not too far from the Georgia Guidestones.
	Maybe that was intentional.
	But it's a very DIY, weirdo, right-winger get-together.
	Hmm.
	They got a guy with Joker makeup, of course, right there.
	Okay, that's you earning your keep.
	You got to tell us what the youngsters are up to.
	Let's jump over to the mail B. Let me touch it.
	Let me touch it.
	Boopity.
	3.20 p.m.
	Oh, we already got new ones.
	G-Dog and Asian nerd.
	This might be screwing you up, Ryan, because my computer takes a while to load.
	Ask Cali viewers to get off their ass and vote yes on recall and check Larry Elder for governor.
	This state is fucked, but it would be nice to have one year of sanity before the next governor election.
	My bar JDs in San Clemente will have a $1 beer night if the recall goes through.
	Cheers.
	Justin from Shithole, California.
	Hey, Gavin, I about died laughing on this video.
	Is it just me?
	Or is she a little more than just dumb?
	And then he's got the video there.
	I'm not like them, but I can pretend.
	The sun is on, but I have light.
	Nothing is done.
	But I'm having fun.
	And I think I'm dumb.
	Maybe just happy.
	I think I'm just happy.
	I think I'm just happy.
	I think I'm just happy.
	Wow.
	And I think my dumbass.
	Do her supporters like that laugh?
	Are they not annoyed by that?
	Sometimes I think they vote them in and they don't keep up with them at all.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's like our ADT guy who was like, I haven't watched.
	No, no, our carpenter dude.
	He's like, as soon as I got rid of Trump, I stopped watching the news because I was so happy we got rid of him.
	Gav, running about the California recall, I got curious about the recent swing in the quote-unquote polls and took a glance at the underlying data.
	Check this out.
	In one month, women's votes swing 17 points in favor of Newsom, a politician whose party has had one of the most politically disastrous months in memory.
	While over the same period, men's votes are effectively unchanged within the margin of error.
	Is there any explanation for this beyond inherent and disproportionate susceptibility to manipulation by propaganda?
	So the first thing is the recall election poll, August 4th.
	The second one is the recall election poll, September 9th.
	Very, very interesting.
	Yeah, women are agreeable.
	End of story.
	So they are more susceptible to political manipulation.
	Very difficult manipulation.
	Gravel and Ryson, I was listening to an old podcast of GOML, and it was called A Segregation Racist.
	In this, you talk about Corey Booker and Kamal Harris being black in skin, but not in personality, and you would have some questions for them.
	Can you guys make a black quiz for people like them?
	Yes.
	That's a great idea.
	Let's talk to our most ghetto black friends.
	I'll ask at the gym.
	Although they don't really get concepts like that.
	Like, I'm doing a thing to quiz people about black people.
	What do you guys, what is special about you?
	But that's how I got that one I use about how you get chicken in the bodega that has salt, pepper, and ketchup.
	Do you know any?
	Black things?
	Nah.
	Besides, like, my first black girlfriend, my first girlfriend, black collard greens.
	But everybody knows that.
	Oh, yeah.
	I did this years ago.
	They think Discovery Channel is like going to school.
	It's really, why would you watch that?
	Like, why would you, it's like doing taxes.
	No one watches Discovery Channel.
	It's like reading a textbook.
	Getting ready is six or seven hours.
	They also said with the women, it's really hard to get them.
	They're like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
	And then when you finally get them, they'll get a tattoo of your name on their neck.
	Yeah.
	They're down for life.
	But I like, it has to be ones like the chicken ones.
	What about this?
	When their hair itches, their weave itches, they slap it.
	They slap their head to itch it.
	Maybe some products?
	Like, what's Razak?
	That's, yeah.
	Things that only black women and you use.
	I get people sending me the sprinkles, speaking of funny, on an hourly basis.
	And they always say the same thing.
	They say, if you don't think that this guy has the sprinkles, then I want to fight you.
	Because they're so sure.
	And the guy's always mildly funny.
	But I haven't seen this yet.
	Let's check it out.
	What are you building?
	I'm building a barrier around my yard.
	Oh, like a wall?
	No offense.
	Is this gonna get good?
	No offense, what?
	No, I'm gonna use a fence.
	But you just said you didn't mean a fence.
	When?
	I don't know, you never finished.
	I haven't even started.
	Wait, what?
	I haven't started my project?
	I'm building a fence?
	With me?
	No, I'm just confused.
	About what?
	You're a fence.
	No, I'm not.
	I'm building one.
	Had potential.
	What are you building?
	Pretty good.
	Yeah.
	His dead face.
	Yeah.
	The ending sucked.
	Let's see this guy.
	Same guy, I think?
	Yeah, just pull up right over there.
	Hey, there's a ship in the way.
	Ring, ring.
	Ring, ring.
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Is this Russia?
	Yeah.
	Oh, this is America.
	Is that your ship?
	Yeah.
	Well, can you move it?
	I don't want those freaking missiles in Cuba.
	Alright, enough.
	What?
	Annoying.
	Pooey Wigger in St. Louis.
	Hello, suckers.
	My wife watched the mailbag episode where you stated why you thought St. Louis is full of wiggers.
	She said that you are correct and that I am wrong.
	She said that I hang out in the suburbs too much and I have cognitive bias.
	She said that whenever she goes to events downtown, that she also sees way too many wiggers.
	He spells this W-H-I-G-G-E-R-S.
	I don't think there's an H. I am now ashamed of myself and the face that my city puts on.
	PS such thing as a cool wigger, maybe Diant word.
	Or are they just freaks that don't give a shit?
	They're freaks that don't give a shit.
	Yeah, I'm always right, guys.
	I remember someone, these millennials and the Zoomers are so arrogant when they think they're right.
	Like I said the other day that we used to think that you needed light for life.
	And then we realized, no, you can, we found organisms living in rocks and we realized you don't.
	And then this guy goes, what a fucking stupid take.
	What is he talking about?
	The Middle Ages?
	We've known you don't need light for life forever.
	No, it was around 1977 that we discovered these life forms that don't need light.
	So pretty recent.
	Pretty recent.
	Remember, I steal all my info from smart guys.
	Hello, Mr. McInnes.
	I'm 17 and want to be a journalist after my father refused to sign my enlistment papers after Afghanistan.
	Wrote a response to Robert Reich and was curious on your input.
	Hello, Mr. McInnes.
	I'm 17 and want to be a journalist after my father refused to sign my enlistment papers after Afghanistan.
	No punctuation at all.
	Wrote a response to Robert Reich.
	What?
	And was curious on your input.
	And I do apologize.
	I wrote like a woman.
	Below, I linked his article and my response.
	No, we're not looking at that, fuckhead.
	You don't fucking speak English.
	If you don't work that hard on an email, we know that everything else that you do is going to suck.
	Oh, and then he's got his whole opinion on Robert Reich.
	Robert Reich's that little midget, right?
	Okay, someone's sending me pictures.
	I don't know how she got my email.
	Yeah.
	What up, Dumbies?
	No.
	What up, my niggs?
	I've attached a pic I grabbed to this gigantic piece of shit.
	It was begging for money outside my favorite breakfast spot in Chicago on Sunday morning.
	Homeboy is rocking $180 Jordans.
	I was astonished by the audacity of this fag.
	Look at the fucking glare in his asshole eyes as I made it painfully obvious that I would be posting this pic.
	Walt.
	Yeah, he's real mad that he's going to be identified.
	Also, why are you worried about COVID when you live on the street and you're obese?
	Oh, I guess that does make sense after all.
	Hey, Gavin Rye.
	I'm a Canadian boy from the Toronto area.
	I never listened to country music growing up, but I don't know where I went down a rabbit hole this weekend.
	A lot of the songs are so deep and profound.
	They have great stories.
	This guy's discovered country music.
	Thank you.
	Okay, those are all new ones from today, but here's ones that I have looked up and researched on my own.
	This is interesting.
	The, hey, you're cool.
	Broad is a singer.
	And she does political activism songs with her weird, bloated body and her balding hairline about rape.
	So if you scroll forward, you'll see a cool rape jam.
	Opportunity at least one.
	Hey, go back.
	Miko.
	Hey, Miko.
	Look at all the people that believe you.
	Of course, some of them are being repeated.
	Hey.
	Should I stand still?
	When you have people singing or should I dance?
	You're cool.
	You're cool.
	I know.
	That's I got in trouble for saying on Twitter.
	I know of about five domestic abuse cases within my circle of friends.
	Every time it was someone, some bitch, trying to fuck over a guy who was not hitting her.
	Including Kale Hartman.
	Dude.
	What?
	Do you know who this is?
	Wait, not that guy.
	Do you know who that is?
	Her, right there?
	Yes.
	No?
	She is in Sam Hyde's famous sketch.
	Probably one of the best sketches.
	Moms.
	Remember the sketch?
	They hired women to play their moms, but then they broke character and then just started insulting them.
	That's the same woman.
	Oh, no.
	She's deaf.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, my, that's awesome.
	Thank you for sending this in, whoever the fuck you are.
	Hey, you're from Sam Hyde's Clip.
	Wow.
	Dear Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie, I offer an anecdote that begs a larger question.
	When I was younger, I was having a conversation with a black woman who was a few years older than me and thought that the white race was responsible for some of the most evil acts in the world, and she would never trust a white person.
	Now, my approach would most likely change, but I spoke to the tune of what I knew so far and responded with, well, black people are very tribal and tend to stick with their own and only trust one another.
	So I would beg the question, if she had gotten this information that whites are all evil from a white person, she got defensive.
	Pretty much, sorry, dude, you can't speak English.
	I don't know why I okayed that.
	Like, you got to read your letters.
	And I did read the letter.
	I don't know why that made it through my cuts.
	Cringe TikTok video.
	I'm a cringe snob, and this thoroughly satisfied me.
	Reminds me of Gav's impression of that Euro dude partying at the disco, man.
	Fire again.
	Oh, we need somebody to lean on.
	Working, fire again.
	Oh, we need someone to lean on.
	Working, fire again.
	Oh, we needed somebody to lean on.
	And here's the hood handicap modeling that you showed randomly earlier.
	Oh, yeah.
	We've seen this guy before, but I've never seen him on the runway before.
	You'd think if you're going to do this, you'd want the most smooth marble runway imaginable, like perfect.
	Can you see his foot?
	Wait, go back, go back.
	Kill me.
	It doesn't fit in the shoe.
	No, that's it.
	That's it.
	Don't go back.
	Around there.
	Yeah, there.
	It doesn't fit.
	If the shoe don't fit, you must quit modeling.
	Aren't models supposed to be you looking your very best?
	You know what I mean?
	That's racist to think that way.
	Like when you look at a runway, you're like, I want to look very beautiful in this outfit.
	Let's see the best I could possibly look.
	Now, you're not going to look as good as the model when you put it on, but it's like you're imagining you just really shining.
	It's sort of like they get mad at women who are photoshopped in magazines.
	And you go, no, this is how a man sees a woman when he's in love.
	His brain photoshops out the zits.
	So we can do that in magazines.
	This is the opposite.
	No one wants to look like that.
	In fact, if you did that to a prisoner, like a criminal, and his punishment was to be crippled in a wheelchair, he could sue because that's a cruel and unusual punishment.
	You're not different.
	You're worse.
	Okay, last one.
	Indigenous Canadians get $150,000 in reparations.
	A family member just got $150,000 Canadian dollars in reparations.
	He bought a $92,000 car and then finds out the headlights are $4,000 and now he wants to sell it.
	Another friend got the same amount and bought a camper.
	The election is coming up and no one around me, I mean no one is talking about these instant success checks.
	Instead, the Green Party leader says all Canadians are racist as an example.
	Be careful who you tell.
	The media in this country is bought and controlled by the Liberals.
	Ask Ezra.
	Food for thought.
	I didn't hear about this.
	You got that picture?
	Yeah, I showed it.
	While you're reading it.
	$2 billion in reparations to Aboriginal survivors.
	I'm sure that'll be...
	You know what you should do if you're an Indian and you get that kind of money?
	Buy a tow truck because every other Indian is going to spend it on a Chevy S10 blazer and they're going to wrap it around a telephone pole and it's going to need to get towed.
	You're going to feel like you've been towed.
	In defense of Ryan, Kevin, you keep asking Ryan to Google things using quote marks and then you get upset when it does not work out properly.
	Google has changed it with their algorithm where even if you quote something, it will not come up anymore as the algorithm has changed to push up authoritative in brackets censored sources slash results.
	You're spot on about the microphones though, but I do think it is people fucking with you with the audio levels.
	I think it'd be great if you got and maybe paid a couple testers to mock call in to test with the equipment.
	Yeah, Ryan, let's make sure that you spend a massive part of this week making sure we don't have fuck-ups Thursday night.
	Gotcha.
	Because if the microphones do not work absolutely perfectly, I am going to fucking fine you.
	We still have to take into consideration Skype restarts and stuff like that.
	Things that are...
	That hasn't happened in a while.
	But we should also be willing to abandon Skype if it's not working.
	Hmm.
	I'll look around.
	It has to work.
	I don't care if we have to hire an audio guy to come in here and fix these problems.
	I don't care what the process is to fix it.
	It just has to be fixed.
	True.
	All right, let's go to the final video.
	This is a video of an African-American man having some Chick-fil-A.
	We're, of course, traumatized by Chick-fil-A because last time we were there, we were yelled at.
	Or Ryan's Friend was.
	He looks like he's about to spit it out.
	Dude, finish chewing what's in your mouth.
	All right, that's enough.
	So yeah, funny broads, funny weekend.
	Tomorrow, we'll catch up with more deep thinking.
	I just wanted to get out the news that we hadn't covered in the past two days and tell you about our stupid trip, which was a lot less interesting than I thought it would be.
	But luckily, we saved the day with the discussion of funny broads, which never gets old.
	I love talking about funny broads and wondering if they're funny or not.
	And the truth is, yes, when we use meritocracy, the women we see on the screen are funny.
	When we're trying to compensate for some sort of mythical bias, the women we see on the screen are not funny.
	Amber Ruffin is not funny.
	The chick who said Kale raped her is not funny.
	The bitch who said don't cheer for the other side is fucking funny.
	What's the matter with meritocracy?
	There's not a lot of whites in the NBA.
	You don't see me complaining.
	What is it, 80% black?
	Fine.
	Whoever is best at basketball should play basketball.
	Whoever's best at funny should be funny.
	Are these revolutionary ideas?
	Am I so crazy?
	No, I'm not.
	So I'm going to say it anytime I'm asked.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Let that dollar make a work work.
	I ain't scared of death, but I fear them as dead as breath.
	All the drugs in your veins, I am blessed with the smartest brain.
	I remember your laugh when I was at my worst.
	Let me tell you, piece of scum, I'm supported from above.
	Your many mighty M's while you're talking shit behind my back.
	All the shit you said made you look like a little bitch that had your opinion, bitch, fuck that.
	What do I think of you?
	How I laugh in your face, bitch, if you only knew.
	Ha ha, ha ha, ha.

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