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Aug. 31, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
39:35
GOML LIVE #112 | AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING (Part 1)

Matty and the boss sift through piles of shit to find tiny particles of gold.

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
I wonder how you're feeling, there's ringing in my ears.
I know one to relate to, save the sea.
That was Show Me the Way by Peter Frampton.
I believe it's the one of the probably the biggest selling live album of all time.
Major hit.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
This is the free monthly podcast that we put out there.
And I'd like to have a toast to my guests, my comrade in arms, Matty O. Hello, everybody.
Your shot glass says drunk as a boot.
Sue come and butt.
Am I says chief any which means I am finished.
Cheers!
I just got back from LaGuardia.
I was dropping my daughter off to send her to her in-laws alone.
She's 14.
I tried something I've never done before.
I highly recommend this.
And maybe this is part of being old.
Get to the airport way too early.
The flight was boarding at 7.50.
We were there at the airport at 5.50.
I had time to go park, get lost parking, park in the wrong spot.
Total calm.
I'm going there.
I'm getting in without a boarding pass because I'm not going on the plane.
So it's a weird thing that's confusing.
I don't mind.
Be confused.
We have plenty of time for you to figure it out.
You got through to the gate?
Through TSA and all?
Yeah, you can go right to the gate.
Really?
If you're the Guardian.
Wow.
We had some delicious pizza.
We talked.
I bought her some gossip mags.
Scott Peterson may have killed someone else.
Whoa!
Yeah.
Not just lazy.
Before we start or even tell you about the airport, which I already did, this episode is brought to you by Drome, the conservative dating app.
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O's got an umlaut.
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I can't tell you how many girls tell me, can you find me a proud boy?
Like conservative girls in D.C. are fucked.
And I mean that only metaphorically, never literally.
Which is why at the deplorables ball, the deplorable, I was so determined to make sure they got there safe.
Despite them getting accosted by Antifa and a mob of people throwing batteries, feces and urine at them.
Because I knew this was their one big night out and their one chance to meet a guy.
One of the great things though about DC conservative women having no hopes is they all dress fucking amazing with high-heeled shoes every day and look fantastic.
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That will be our first reading.
What are your deal breakers, Matty?
Me?
A cock?
First thing, bad teeth.
Bad teeth?
That's a no-no for you.
That's a no-no.
The first thing I look at, I'm leaving out his teeth.
I never knew that about you.
Gotta have a good set of choppers.
But, um, you know, I like, I would say a little bit thicker of a girl than, like, a twig.
We're on the same page on that, although I can work with twigs.
Yeah, twigs hurt.
I get bruised pelvis, but you know.
We can do it.
Yeah.
I think my only one is thinning hair to the point of you can see her scalp.
Big tits, small tits, no ass, fat ass.
I am not a tit man.
I'm an ass, thigh guy, like from the knees to the midriff.
But I've dated girls with huge tits that had no ass, and I was like, we can work with this.
Is that a deal breaker for you, no ass?
A lot of Asians will have no ass.
Um... One of your first loves was an Asian.
Oh yeah.
She couldn't have had much of an ass.
She did, and believe it or not, she had a 36D.
Tits, yeah.
I mean, when you get that many tits... The three girls that I've had long-term relationships with, my ex-wife, she was 36DD, the girl Melody was 32DD, and Leah was a Japanese girl, she was 36D.
For someone who's not into tits, you've had a lot of tits.
Yeah, but they're all natural, you know.
Of course.
They lay down flat next to, you know, they're in their armpits.
Yep.
You know.
But, uh, yeah, I'm an ass guy all day long.
There's a cheesy pickup line that says, man, you peel those pants down, it's like an onion, it'll make me cry.
As you know, folks, on Thursday we only read from the letters page because we have to do all the ad reading.
After the first half hour, we go behind the paywall.
Then we've got to take calls.
Covering the news is too much.
Although, speaking of balding, the hot new meme going around today, which might be old news tomorrow, is that thing I sent you, Matty.
I don't think I sent it to Ryan because I don't like him.
The girl with the, that woman who's so fat.
The 40-year-old healthy woman?
That she's going bald.
And it says, healthy woman dying from COVID or died from COVID.
And you're like... That woman was 40 years old.
She looks 400 years old.
And she's about 600 pounds.
See if you can find this article so we don't send it to you.
Healthy 40 year old covid mom, covid victims last words.
I blame the unvaccinated for this.
Now obviously when we're talking about deal breakers, being 400 pounds is a deal breaker.
But this hair is a great example of it could be on Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez.
Anybody.
I cannot work with you.
No.
Just get on a plane.
Go to Singapore.
They have plugs.
They can cure it.
She probably couldn't get out of her house.
Right, I'm not talking about her, I guess.
I'm talking about women in general when they have this.
Like, Ann Coulter talks about this all the time.
There's so much a woman can do to get above a six.
Like, you could have a fucking parrot beak for a nose.
That's, I mean, I guess you could get a nose job, whatever.
But basically, just don't be fat.
Grow your hair long.
Eat well so your skin is not disgusting.
Wear high heels three times a week.
My ex-wife had a pretty... her father used to joke when I said, oh, you got a Roman nose because it's roaming all over your face.
But, um, yeah, big nose is not a deal breaker for me.
No, no one cares.
Especially in warmer climates where a woman's wearing a bikini a lot.
You don't even see the face.
In Canada, where it's so cold, you're basically just seeing this for half the year.
You get a little more picky about what this is.
But in Costa Rica, butterface means hot chick.
Did you find it yet?
No, was she from Yellowstone?
I don't know.
That's because I found one, but it says 40 years old, dies of COVID.
But did you just type out the exact headline I just read to you?
Yeah, I blame the unvaccinated and like the nothing came up after that.
I wonder if this is a fake thing.
Because someone asked me for the original article and I was like, go look it up yourself.
Maybe they couldn't find it.
I just emailed it to you.
But it is.
I mean it's a deal breaker for a guy.
I don't think I would be friends with a guy who was going bald like this.
I wouldn't let a mechanic work on my car if his hair looked like this.
But the audacity of a healthy 40 year old.
And how many times have you seen that throughout this pandemic?
Healthy.
No previous conditions.
Perfectly healthy 400 pounder.
Well, obesity was like one of the major underlying conditions.
We've been screaming this since day one.
The moral of the story is, don't be fat.
That's what the pandemic taught us.
How many, how much weight did you lose?
I just lost 30 pounds.
30 pounds.
Yeah.
The last time I lost... 236 to 206.
The last time I lost 30 pounds was the last time I had sex with my wife.
Cause there was that much cum.
Cause it had been that long.
You were backed up.
I was pretty backed up.
Juicy Smollett.
Yeah, but it's, I mean, not to say that it's hard, but, you know.
I come really, really hard.
It's definitely a chore.
What?
It's a chore losing weight.
But you cheated, dude.
You had that medication.
Oh yeah, I was put on Ozempic and Jardians and stuff for underlying health conditions, yeah.
That helped.
Well, it was so strong that you would drink a beer and have to lie down.
Yeah, I would get full.
If I drank like an 8-ounce glass of water, I would be full.
But you're not on it now?
No, I take a shot once a week.
I've kind of plateaued right now at like 206, but... What do you weigh, Ryan?
164 is the last time I checked.
You've been getting very serious about working out recently, I've noticed.
Yeah, I've been taking mass gainers and... What are mass gainers?
If you can't eat a whopping load of... Why are you making it a cum reference?
If you can't eat a whopping load.
Yeah, that sounded pretty gay.
I don't care.
If you can't eat a whopping load.
I know everyone wants to eat a whopping load, but unfortunately you can't always do that.
I have meal, they're like meal replacement shakes.
They're like 650 calories in one thing.
I have to, if you want to build muscle you have to eat a caloric, you have to have a caloric surplus.
And it's hard to eat that much food.
Yeah.
Wow.
I mean, that's the magic of weight loss.
Consume less, burn more.
Burn more calories than you take in, folks.
It's very easy, ladies.
Calories in, calories out, they say.
All right, this is getting boring.
Bubba and Hanks is our other sponsor this episode, although we'll do Need of Fashions closer than the 930 mark, but the subscription-based Bubba Box is uh now a thing thanks to you guys premium wagyu by an american hero bubba's always been there for censored and we're always going to be there for him please go to bubbanhanks.com use promo code gavin for 20 off all orders that is bubba b-u-b-b-a and hanks
H-A-N-K-S dot com promo code Gavin.
God bless Bubba, God bless America, God bless all the cancer survivors and everyone we've all lost to cancer.
Cancer is a bitch, but Bubba is giving his cancer the middle finger.
Bubba has a new sauce and spice coming soon, so please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.
You understand that?
He's got a new sauce, a new spice coming soon.
The ad man hasn't given as much details.
About that.
So it's gonna be a challenge to come up with a name for it.
But please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.
Winner is getting a Bubba Box and some other goodies from the sponsors.
www.bubbaandhanks.com.
Promo code Gavin.
And the last Bubba Box went to Matty.
That's what I'm talking about!
And you were a huge fan.
Delicious.
Oh yeah.
Delicious.
You know when I was talking to that, you know that weird chef who comes into the bar?
Yeah, Joe.
So I was like, look, I like my steak like this.
I like it pink in the middle and then burnt to shit like a burnt marshmallow on the outside.
And he goes, here's what you do.
You need a... Fuck.
You need a thing.
A sous vide machine?
It's very, very hot water, but not boiling?
Yeah.
That's a sous vide.
It's called sous vide.
Sous vide?
Yeah.
Uh, okay.
So I guess I don't have to look it up then, right?
No.
Su-V.
So, it keeps the water right below boiling, and you put it in there for like an hour and a half, right?
Yeah, it's in like a vac sealed bag.
Yeah.
Sorry, I don't know why I'm doubting you by checking this.
S-O-U-S-V-I-D-E.
Sous Vide.
That just doesn't ring a bell.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
It was popular for a long... I mean, it's kind of recent that a lot of chefs have been using it.
Yeah.
Like, at his place, he has something this big.
And he'll do 10 medium rare, 10 rare, 10 well done.
Oh, I have access to one.
Oh, you must have it at your restaurant place.
Yeah, we have one there.
So he says you can get a personal one for like 150 bucks.
Yeah.
Or less.
It's almost like a fish tank.
Like it's got a pump and it goes in and there's like just a clear container with water.
Throw it in there and it just continually adds hot water and it comes out.
So you cook that up, and then you can do, I guess you shock it in cold water, like ice water or something to stop it cooking itself.
And then throw it on a grill to char it.
And then you can put it in the fridge or anything.
And it's ready to rock.
So then you put it on a, he implied sometimes that he would just put it on the grill just for the aesthetics, but it was already cooked and ready to go.
Did you see the picture I sent to you the other morning?
Of the steak?
I cooked?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well now we have to pull that up.
Bubba and Hanks.
Email it to Ryan.
Email me baby!
That was a Bubba and Hanks?
Oh yeah.
He's obviously Ryan at Censored.TV.
So he also told me this story.
It's a super wealthy Jewish country club, right?
And like all elitist whites, they feel terrible about their privilege.
So they want to give back.
So what they do is they set up a program at the country club where people of color, not poor people.
Not some poor Irish Catholic who comes from a family of 13 and has no dad.
No, he's white.
People of color can go there and they work in the kitchen.
He doesn't want them in the kitchen.
What are they doing here?
Well, you're helping to appease your boss's guilt, your client's guilt.
But I don't feel guilty about this shit.
And here's the fucking catch-22.
You ready for this?
They're not poor.
One of them, she's from Guyana, her parents are doctors.
And the other, it's a black guy, he's like in finance.
What's that?
Say that again?
They don't go to the South Bronx to get these people of color.
They go within their community.
So they end up with rich, black immigrants, saddled in the kitchen to appease guilt.
Which is like, I want to appease my guilt, so I'm going to give you blacks to my mechanic and they can work with him.
Like, they never even see these black people.
And then, At the end of their, I think it's two months, at the end of their two month little trial, they all have a big party and parade the Negroes around on the stage and everyone claps at the wonderful job they did.
When rich black people worked in a kitchen with other rich white people to appease other rich white people.
Fuck you.
I hate you.
What a fucking...
Clown world.
Clown world.
Okay, so should we jump into the mailbag?
Sure.
Let's let the freebies, the freeloaders, see what the mailbag is like.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
I really don't like that picture of me.
That's not... I thought that was your dad.
I don't like that picture of my great-grandfather today.
That's what he looks like right now.
Dig him up.
Dear Gavin and Lord Provost of the Fag Zone, this video sums up perfectly why the West is the best.
In the Jewelry District of Bangladesh, these entrepreneurs dig through the literal shit from the sewage pipes of different shops in the hope of gathering some of the gold dust that other jewelers have shit out.
Literally the turd world.
Goldust.
Boy, you gotta have a hell of an immune system to dig through shit all day.
And have a hepatitis vaccine.
You could fucking blow AIDS in those kids' faces with a shotgun.
And they would be fine.
If we read their names on a piece of paper, we would get explosive diarrhea.
Unbelievable.
How would you discern the gold dust from just shit?
Like if they're down there with like a pan... They dig through the little shit from sewage pipes gathering some of the gold dust the other jewelers have shit out?
How much dust do they shit out?
I mean did they inhale it or they're eating it and it's going...
It must be like a molecule every two years.
There's guys in New York who chip away at the sidewalk.
In the jewelry district there in Midtown.
Right?
They chip away at the granite.
To get the various chunks that people have dropped.
And we're talking about like a grain of sand.
Jump ahead to the shitting.
I don't care about their route.
Their commute to Shittown.
See, this is what they thought when they jumped on that plane in Kabul.
By the way, we have a very special episode tomorrow.
It will not be a GOML.
It'll be a Censored.TV Presents wherein we sit down with the Army Ranger who did three tours in Afghanistan and he'll tell us why he was for the war and why he no longer is.
They don't show this shit explicitly.
Thanks Baby Monster for sending us a video of people sifting through shit for gold and just showing us their commute.
That was part of the documentary.
He digs through the poo-poo.
He's talking about lunchtime.
I've seen that video so many times, I'm starting to get on the gay side.
I'm like, actually, Pastor, they don't literally eat the poo-poo.
What they do is lick the anus of their lover, which heterosexuals also do in pornography and in real life.
And I would argue that when you see porn people do it, they've blasted their ass with enemas because they're in a porn.
They don't want to eat the poopoo.
This sounds very gay.
Either he saw shit porn, which is incredibly rare, or he just saw someone licking an ass.
Or maybe he saw two girls, one cup.
Oof.
I still get nauseous from watching that.
Dude, it's chocolate.
Is it?
They enema their asses clean as a whistle.
And then they put up like Nutella in there.
What about the puke?
When they're throwing up in each other's mouths.
But it's like Criss Angel puke where that was just in your like top stomach.
Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.
Are you polygastric?
I don't like the butt shake.
Gav, Maddie, and the help.
Hey guys, I'm a student at Chico State, which I assume is the university where you learned to be MS-13.
MS-13 is going through an existential crisis right now.
They want to, they have to make their mind up on how they want to be perceived globally.
The entire California State University system has mandated the vaccine.
They allow for medical and religious exemptions.
What's weird is the Title IX department at our school handles the vaccine exemption request.
What the fuck does Title IX have to do with vaccines?
And if you recall, Title IX is the rule that says women's sports has to be as prominent as male sports, right?
Anyways, all the request forms were leaked and I imagine it was some purple-haired feminist at the Title IX department.
I like you more than a friend.
P.S.
Can you fix the banner that pops up when you try to view live shows?
It still shows Milo.
Yes.
About a hundred people have told me this and I send it to our tech guy and he always goes yep That's coming out with the new update takes a long time to fix these things He's a great guy a very qualified guy.
I'm getting concerned that he's not a workaholic Well, I remember last time you said that you wanted it on the site, because it's like, well yeah, the shows are still there.
No shit for brains.
I still want his show on the site, but it says tune in Thursdays.
Oh, that must be changed.
Maybe I get to make a new banner.
I'll make a new banner and send it to him.
Greetings from Fag Zone South!
This video is brilliant.
Video drops are ragging all over the place.
It's just over two minutes long.
Wouldn't want to waste the baby monster's precious time.
Uh, now he says baby monsters are apostrophe S, so I think that just means Maddie, not the baby monsters who watch the show.
It's Michael Jackson.
It's...
This is like if a video is made by dogs.
Yeah?
So?
What's his belt?
So this is a re-dub?
Yeah.
Fucking hell of a right one.
What the fuck are you doing?
Go and get a follower.
So this is a redub?
Yeah.
This is the original video.
What are you fucking running away for?
Freak.
Oh.
What's with his belt?
Is it a little bow?
Michael Jackson belt?
Is it a karate belt?
Oh, God.
Oh, bitch, it's Michael's now.
What the hell is this?
I'm gonna mouth rape you.
Oh, fuck you.
You're right, fucking bitch.
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
I don't remember the original, but it must be equally retarded.
is this a song about gang rape?
it's not that fire hydrant it's not that fire hydrant Let's look at the real original.
Because it can't be much cooler than that, can it?
The way you make me feel, I believe.
Yeah, bad is they're all going to a gang thing to fight each other.
There's no chick there.
There was a lot of gang rape in his symbolism, like the thriller video.
That was a bunch of monsters coming to get her.
That's even worse.
This is funnier.
Yeah.
That's even worse.
This is funnier than...
Yeah.
Why'd you do a parody of it?
You can tell he's never had a normal heterosexual encounter.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
You are good.
He's a friend.
You're not being up on my feet now, baby.
Whoo! # Why did we tolerate Michael Jackson?
He's fantastic.
You know what?
I knew he was shitty.
I remember I was in Scotland, in Pollock Shaw's, in whatever it was, 1983, whenever It's Hard came out, and I went with my cousin Colin.
It's hard?
It's hard, you just said.
It's hard?
Okay, Beavis.
And he got off the wall.
I got the who.
It's hard.
Which, by the way, was so bad because Pete Townsend had just done his solo album.
So he was out there going, I want to fucking taste you!
And then he just did like some side thing where he's like, I got a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in the rib cage.
You could tell he was just making up shit quickly to so they could have an album.
Off the Wall wasn't that bad.
I mean, for the time period, it was kind of coming out of Disco.
What year was that?
So I'm tough?
Are you saying I'm tougher than you?
No, but it was the era of Disco.
Studio 54.
Did you like Off the Wall?
Well, I was a younger kid then, yeah.
I mean... Okay, so you're saying I'm tougher than you.
Yeah.
I'm a fan.
Wow, this is a... This is... At my gym, I was telling Matty the other day, they know him, and they go, uh... They go, are you gonna box after this?
I go, no, I just did... I did a workout.
And they go, oh, okay.
So you think you're all tough with your Matty O'Dell, but you're a fucking pussy.
He goes, very hurtful words today at the gym.
Yeah.
Very mean.
What year was... Oh, it's hard.
If you can hold back your juvenile giggling.
It's hard.
1982.
82.
- Um, 1982. - '82, so at 12, I was like, "Eh, that just seems gay." So I'm not, I don't feel any kind of guilt when I see Michael Jackson, 'cause I called it from day one.
But the rest of America was like, yeah, that's normal.
He has a fucking rope belt, and he's screaming and going, weehoo!
Well, if you look at the picture of him on Off the Wall album cover, he's got an afro about this big, his nose about this wide, and he's as dark as brown leather.
Pull up Off the Wall.
Because that's a good comeback.
That he was still black back then.
He's got a tuxedo on, right?
He's lying on his side.
No, that would be Thriller lying on the side.
Right there.
What year was that?
That's off the wall. 82.
Yeah, so we bought those two albums at the same time.
Wait, released in 79?
Oh, I know what it was.
If you opened it, 79.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, so then what's Thriller?
Maybe it was Thriller he had.
Thriller's the one he's wearing like a white jacket and he's laying down, he's got jerry curl juice in his hair.
Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
It was Thriller.
Yeah, that's Thriller.
What happened to jerry curls?
Like I said, like... I still do my pubes jerry curls.
Off the wall was kind of like more disco-y.
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
It was Thriller I was talking about.
I knew at the age of 12 that this guy's lame.
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What's the URL, Ryan?
You would go to NitaFashions.com.
Again, that's N-I-T-A-Fashions.com.
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I became a fat pig after the first time I met them.
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And then the ties and shit you can get.
I go to tiebar.com.
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It's nice to have a nice Brooks Brothers tie, but it's really like 4% better than a $20 tie.
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Once you get one, you want another one.
And then you start getting creative.
Hey, that's my exact suit.
That motherfucker stole my suit.
I recognize that jacket, suit.
Son of a bitch.
Well, I stole it from Animal House, so I'll forgive him.
But NitaFashions.com, and these guys are old school tailors, like Savile Row levels.
You don't really get this anymore.
And if you do in New York, you're looking at five to seven grand for this quality of tailoring.
Look at that Kingsman-esque shit right there.
That is nice.
It would have to be a hell of an occasion, though.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah.
I would just look for occasions like this.
You can't, like, go to a steak dinner and that.
It's like a smoking jacket.
It is.
Yeah, I think it is.
You can't just dig through shit looking for gold in India if you're gonna wear a suit like that.
By the way, they sent me the time code and apparently I was a little off.
Oh, it's been updated.
The show is getting updated live?
That's correct.
All right, let's watch Young Indian Children, which is unfortunate because we're just talking about NIDA fashions and how classy they are.
It's Indians who run it in Hong Kong, not Chinese, because China is an asshole.
But we're going to say goodbye to this ad so we don't sell either brand.
Close the gate.
And then we're going to see Indians dig through shit looking for particles of gold.
That's a ceiling fan.
But you don't eat gold when you work with gold.
But you don't eat gold when you work with gold.
That's what I'm trying to say.
What are they going to inhale it?
That's like trying to get fabric from Taylor's shit.
But I guess because if it's so fine, it would be, it would inhale it or swallow it.
Maybe.
Okay.
I don't get it.
So now we're talking about like dust, like flour.
You know, it would be go through their sewer or, uh, shower pipes.
If they took a shower, if they had gold dust, I don't know.
I'm just saying like, that makes more sense.
If you work making gold and you're like, and then you have a shower, but eating it.
Okay, this is their time code.
Yeah.
2323.
Dude, what is the value?
Can't you just get a job at McDonald's?
Once a month, Ghazi and his two employees search through the sewers.
Dude, what is the value?
These are the waste waters from the goldsmiths.
The workshops are just behind, and their pipes empty out here.
Can't you just get a job at McDonald's?
Thousands of liters of human waste end up down the opening to the sewer.
Does that smell bad, you think?
Yeah.
No, it smells good.
Years ago, I used to work in the sewers.
Really?
Oh yeah?
Local 731.
The shit in India, actually, it's two negatives make a positive, and it ends up tasting like cotton candy.
Oh, interesting.
Wait, why is Matty blurry?
Are you using a different camera for him?
Yeah, look at him.
He's crisp.
He looks pretty blurry to me.
Why'd you use a different camera for him?
Because our Sparks stopped negotiating with our TriCaster, and I'm working on it, but we had to transition from that shoot, so not enough time to do that.
Wait, we were done the shoot at 5.
The show's at 9.
Yeah, but, you know, I have to contact TriCaster and all that, or NewTek rather, and... Did you go home and have dinner?
I did.
That's not... And I edited, like, half the show that we did.
But that's not how someone who's dealing with an emergency behaves.
Well, hold on a second, and then it was working, and then it wasn't working.
I'm not familiar with this concept of computers being on and off.
I know they're like old-timey Model T Fords, a 1982 Chevy Nova, maybe, but computers?
They're pretty much yes or no.
Yeah, true.
I mean, we put different cameras into this park, so maybe that had something to do with it.
But nothing had changed except for us setting up for that shoot.
So I'm confused, too.
But I'll get to the bottom of it, just like they're getting to the bottom of this to find gold.
Yeah, I don't care anymore.
I think we should wrap it up as far as the free shit goes.
We've read for our three sponsors, and I like to punish the freeloaders with ads.
But now it's going to be all gravy for the people who pay ten bucks a month.
And once again, if you subscribe to censored.tv, you literally get more content than you could watch.
If you do watch 100% of our content, you need to get a life.
Because that's like 4 or 5 hours a day.
You shouldn't have 4 or 5 hours a day to throw away at incredibly entertaining, slightly right-of-center television.
And I don't even like saying slightly right-of-center.
We're anti-government.
We're just normal.
All we do is say, America's not racist.
Sex is transphobic.
That's bullshit.
This news is ridiculous.
That woman didn't have no preexisting conditions.
She was a fat pig.
That's why she died of COVID.
Basically, our news is just the way your brother talks at his local bar.
Normal shit, which has become very radical and highly cancelable and very dangerous and contentious in the year 2021.
In clown world, to be normal is to be a radical.
And to be a radical lefty is normal.
So if you live in a slightly liberal town or a very liberal town like Manhattan, LA, you start to think that you're nuts.
And then you tune into this show every day at eight o'clock and you realize, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Everyone else is fucking nuts.
And then you get inspired and you go, I'm sick of hiding.
I'm sick of pretending that I don't love Trump.
I'm sick of pretending that I love Joe Biden and I think that he did a great job in Afghanistan.
I'm sick of pretending that I know who the fuck Kamala Harris is or what any of her policies are.
No one knows this bitch.
She's a stranger and there's nothing fucking black about her.
See, that's how normal people talk.
So then you get in trouble because you say too much.
And that's the way it should be.
We should get in trouble.
We should get fired.
We should be brave.
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