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Aug. 27, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:06:00

GOML LIVE #112 - AFGHANISTAN IS BURNING

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	I wonder how you're feeling.
	They're ringing in my ears.
	I don't want to relate to Samsung.
	That was Show Me the Way by Peter Frampton.
	I believe it's probably the biggest selling live album of all time.
	Major hit.
	Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
	This is the free monthly podcast that we put out there.
	And I'd like to have a toast to my guests, my comrade-in-arms, Maddie O. Hello, everybody.
	Your shot glass says, drunk as a boot, Sioux come and butt.
	And mine says, Chief Fenim, which means I am finished.
	Cheers.
	I just got back from LaGuardia.
	I was dropping my daughter off to send her to her in-laws alone.
	She's 14.
	I tried something I've never done before.
	I highly recommend this.
	And maybe this is part of being old.
	Get to the airport way too early.
	The flight was boarding at 7.50.
	We were there at the airport at 5.50.
	I had time to go park, get lost parking, park in the wrong spot.
	Total calm.
	I'm going there.
	I'm getting in without a boarding pass because I'm not going on the plane.
	So it's a weird thing that's confusing.
	I don't mind.
	Be confused.
	We have plenty of time to get through.
	You got to the gate, through TSA and all that?
	Yeah, you can go right to the gate if you're the guardian.
	Wow.
	We had some delicious pizza.
	We talked.
	I bought her some gossip mags.
	Scott Peterson may have killed someone else.
	Whoa.
	Yeah.
	Not just lazy.
	Before we start or even tell you about the airport, which I already did, this episode is brought to you by Drome, the conservative dating app.
	That's D-R-O-M.
	O's got an umlot.
	That's a drome.
	Most dating apps are terrible.
	They're superficial face swiping apps.
	And then there are the quote-unquote expert matching apps.
	Both usually waste your time.
	The solution is value-based matching.
	If you're right-wing, things probably aren't going to work out with someone who's a total lefty.
	Same with religion, lifestyle, how to raise children other core conservative values.
	Sure, the right person might change to meet you where you are in life, but why not just find the perfect match from the start?
	Drome is the best free new values-based dating app.
	You pick deal breakers and deal makers.
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	Drome is also video only for more human interactions.
	So go to drome.date, d-r-o-m.
	Don't you worry your pretty little head about the umlaut.
	D-R-O-M.date slash gavin in your phone's browser.
	Click the iOS or Google button to install and use the invite code Gavin to sign up.
	I can't tell you how many girls tell me, can you find me a proud boy?
	Like conservative girls in DC are fucked.
	And I mean that only metaphorically, never literally.
	Which is why at the Deplorables Ball, the Deplora Ball, I was so determined to make sure they got there safe, despite them getting accosted by Antifa and a mob of people throwing batteries, feces, and urine at them, because I knew this was their one big night out and their one chance to meet a guy.
	One of the great things, though, about DC conservative women having no hopes is they all dress fucking amazing with high-heel shoes every day and look fantastic.
	I kind of like their suffering.
	If you're already matched up, tell your friends and get your boyfriend or girlfriend to tell their friends.
	That's d-r-o-m dot d-a-t-e slash gavin.
	Drome, design and meet your perfect match.
	It's free to use.
	That will be our first reading.
	What are your deal breakers, Maddie?
	Me?
	A comic?
	First thing, bad teeth.
	Bad teeth, that's a no-no for me.
	That's a no-no.
	The first thing I look at, believe it or not, is teeth.
	I never knew that about you.
	Gotta have a good set of choppers.
	But, you know, I would say a little bit thicker of a girl than like a twig.
	We're on the same page on that.
	Although I can work with twigs.
	Yeah, twigs hurt.
	I get bruised pelvis, but, you know, we can do it.
	Yeah.
	I think my only one is thinning hair to the point of you can see her scalp.
	Big tits, small tits, no ass, fat ass.
	I am not a titman.
	I'm an ass thigh guy.
	Like from the knees to the midriff.
	But I've dated girls with huge tits that had no ass, and I was like, we can work with this.
	Is that a deal breaker for you?
	No ass?
	A lot of Asians will have no ass.
	But one of your first loves was an Asian.
	Oh, yeah.
	She couldn't have had much of an ass.
	She did.
	And believe it or not, she had 36 D tits, yeah.
	I mean, when you get that many tits.
	The three girls that I've had long-term relationships with, my ex-wife, she was 36 double D. The girl, Melanie, was 32 double D. And Lie was the Japanese girl.
	She was 36 D. For someone who's not into tits, you've had a lot of tits.
	Yeah, but they're all natural, you know.
	Of course.
	They lay down flat.
	Next thing you know, they're in their armpits.
	Yep.
	But yeah, I'm an ass guy all day long.
	There's a cheesy pickup on it.
	She says, man, you peel those pants down.
	It's like an onion.
	It'll make me cry.
	As you know, folks, on Thursday, we only read from the letters page because we have to do all the ad reading.
	After the first half hour, we go behind the paywall.
	Then we got to take calls.
	Covering the news is too much.
	Although, speaking of balding, the hot new meme going around today, which might be old news tomorrow, is that thing I sent you, Maddie.
	I don't think I sent it to Ryan because I don't like him.
	The girl with that woman who's so fat.
	The 40-year-old healthy woman?
	That she's going bald.
	And it says, healthy woman dying from COVID or died from COVID.
	And you're like...
	That woman was 40 years old.
	She looks 400 years old.
	And she's about 600 pounds.
	See if you can find this article.
	I don't send it to you.
	Healthy 40-year-old COVID victims last words.
	I blame the unvaccinated for this.
	Now, obviously, when we're talking about deal breakers, being 400 pounds is a deal breaker.
	But this hair is a great example of, it could be on Jessica Alba, Eva Mendez.
	Anybody would be.
	I cannot work with you.
	No.
	Just get on a plane.
	Go to Singapore.
	They have plugs.
	They can cure it.
	She probably couldn't get out of her house.
	Right.
	I'm not talking about her, I guess.
	I'm talking about women in general when they have this.
	Ann Coulter talks about this all the time.
	There's so much a woman can do to get above a six.
	Like, you could have a fucking parrot beak for a nose.
	I mean, I guess you could get a nose job, whatever.
	But basically, just don't be fat.
	Grow your hair long.
	Eat well so your skin is not disgusting.
	Wear high heels three times a week.
	My ex-wife had a pretty, her father used to joke when they said, oh, you got a Roman nose because it's roaming all over your face.
	But yeah, big nose is not a deal breaker for me.
	No.
	No one cares.
	Especially in warmer climates where a woman's wearing a bikini a lot, you don't even see the face.
	In Canada, where it's so cold, you're basically just seeing this for half the year.
	You get a little more picky about what this is.
	But in Costa Rica, butterface means hot chick.
	Did you find it yet?
	No.
	Was she from Yellowstone?
	I don't know.
	That's cool.
	Because I found one.
	It says 40 years old, dies of COVID.
	Didn't you just type out the exact headline I just read to you?
	Yeah, I blame the unvaccinated and like the nothing came up after that.
	I wonder if it's a fake thing.
	Because someone asked me for the original article and I was like, go look it up yourself.
	Maybe they couldn't find it.
	I just emailed it to you.
	But it is.
	Oh.
	I mean, it's a deal breaker for a guy.
	I don't think I would be friends with a guy who was going bald like this.
	I couldn't hang.
	I wouldn't let a mechanic work on my car if his hair looked like this.
	But the audacity of a healthy 40-year-old.
	And how many times have you seen that throughout this pandemic?
	Healthy.
	No previous conditions.
	Perfectly healthy 400-pounder.
	Well, obesity was like one of the major underlying conditions.
	We've been screaming this since day one.
	The moral of the story is don't be fat.
	That's what the pandemic taught us.
	How much weight did you lose?
	I just lost 30 pounds.
	30 pounds.
	Yeah.
	236 to 206.
	The last time I lost 30 pounds was the last time I had sex with my wife because there was that much come because it had been that long.
	You were backed up.
	I was pretty backed up.
	Juicy Smolette.
	Yeah, but I mean, not to say that it's hard, but, you know.
	I come really hard.
	It's definitely a chore.
	What?
	It's a chore losing weight.
	But you cheated, dude.
	You had that medication.
	Oh, yeah.
	I was put on Ozempic and Jardiance and stuff for underlying health conditions.
	Yeah.
	That helped.
	Well, it was so strong that you would drink a beer and have to lie down.
	Yeah.
	I would get full.
	If I drank it, I'd get an eight-ounce glass of water.
	I would be full.
	I'd be like.
	But you're not on it now?
	No, I take a shot once a week.
	I've kind of plateaued right now at like 206.
	But.
	What do you weigh, Ryan?
	164 is the last time I checked.
	You've been getting very serious about working out recently, I've noticed.
	Yeah, I've been taking mass gainers and...
	What are mass gainers?
	If you can't eat a whopping load of...
	Why are you making it a cum reference?
	Yeah.
	If you can't eat a whopping load.
	Yeah, that sounded pretty gay.
	I don't care.
	If you can't eat a whopping load.
	I know everyone wants to eat a whopping load, but unfortunately, you can't always do that.
	They're like meal replacement shakes.
	They're like 650 calories in one thing.
	If you want to build muscle, you have to have a caloric surplus.
	And it's hard to eat that much food.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	I mean, that's the magic of weight loss.
	Consume less, burn more.
	Burn more calories than you take in, folks.
	It's very easy, ladies.
	Calories in, calories out, they say.
	All right, this is getting boring.
	Bubba and Hanks is our other sponsor this episode.
	Although we'll do Nita Fashions closer than the 9.30 mark.
	But the subscription-based Bubba box is now a thing thanks to you guys.
	Premium Wag U by American Hero.
	Bubba's always been there for censored, and we're always going to be there for him.
	Please go to BubbaHanks.com.
	Use promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.
	That is Bubba, B-U-B-B-A, and Hanks, H-A-N-K-S, dot com.
	Promo code Gavin.
	God bless Bubba.
	God bless America.
	God bless all the cancer survivors and everyone.
	We've all lost to cancer.
	Cancer is a bitch, but Bubba is giving his cancer the middle finger.
	Bubba has a new sauce and spice coming soon.
	So please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.
	You Understand that?
	He's got a new sauce, a new spice coming soon.
	The admin hasn't given us much details about that, so it's going to be a challenge to come up with a name for it.
	But please email the mailbag with ideas for the title.
	Winner is getting a Bubba box and some other goodies from the sponsors: www.bubbaandhanks.com.
	Promo code Gavin.
	And the last Bubba box went to Maddie.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	And you were a huge.
	Delicious.
	Oh, yeah.
	Delicious.
	You know when I was talking to that, you know that weird chef who comes into the bar?
	Yeah, Joe.
	So I was like, look, I like my steak like this.
	I like it pink in the middle and then burnt to shit like a burnt marshmallow on the outside.
	And he goes, here's what you do.
	You need a...
	Fuck.
	You need a thing.
	A sous vide machine?
	It's very, very hot water, but not boiling.
	That's a sous vide.
	It's called sous vide.
	Sous vide?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So I guess I don't have to look it up then, right?
	No.
	Sous vide.
	So it keeps the water right below boiling and you put it in there for like an hour and a half, right?
	Yeah, it's in like a vac-sealed bag.
	Yeah.
	Sorry, I don't know why I'm doubting you by checking this.
	S-O-U-S-V-I-D-E.
	Sous V. That doesn't ring a bell.
	Yeah, I know what you mean.
	It was popular for a long time.
	I mean, it's kind of recent and a lot of chefs have been using it.
	At his place, he has something this big.
	And he'll do 10 medium rare, 10 rare, 10 well done.
	Oh, I've accessed one.
	Oh, you must have it at your restaurant place.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We have one there.
	So he says you can get a personal one for like $150.
	Yeah.
	It's almost like a fish tank.
	Like it's got a pump and it goes in.
	It's like just a clear container with water.
	Throw it in there and it just continually adds hot water and it comes out.
	So you cook that up and then you can do, I guess you shock it in cold water, like ice water or something, to stop it cooking itself.
	You can throw it on a grill to charge.
	And then you can put it in the fridge or anything.
	And it's ready to rock.
	So then you put it on a...
	He implied sometimes that he would just put it on the grill just for the aesthetics.
	But it was already cooked and ready to go.
	Did you see the picture I sent to you the other morning?
	Of the steak I cooked?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Well, now we have to pull that up.
	Email it to Ryan.
	Oh, all right.
	Email me, baby.
	That was a Bubba and Hanks.
	Oh, yeah.
	He's obviously Ryan at censor.tv.
	So he also told me this story.
	It's a super wealthy Jewish country club, right?
	And like all elitist whites, they feel terrible about their privilege.
	So they want to give back.
	So what they do is they set up a program at the country club where people of color, not poor people, not some poor Irish Catholic who comes from a family of 13 and has no dad.
	No, he's white.
	People of color can go there and they work in the kitchen.
	He doesn't want them in the kitchen.
	What are they doing here?
	Well, you're helping to appease your boss's guilt, your client's guilt.
	But I don't feel guilty about this shit.
	And here's the fucking catch-22.
	You ready for this?
	They're not poor.
	One of them, she's from Guyana.
	Her parents are doctors.
	And the other, it's a black guy.
	He's like in finance.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	They don't go to the South Bronx to get these people of color.
	They go within their community.
	So they end up with rich black immigrants saddled in the kitchen to appease guilt, which is like, I want to appease my guilt, so I'm going to give you blacks to my mechanic, and they can work with him.
	Like they never even see these black people.
	And then, at the end of their, I think it's two months, at the end of their two-month little trial, they all have a big party and parade the Negroes around on the stage and everyone claps at the wonderful job they did when rich black people worked in a kitchen with other rich white people to appease other rich white people.
	Fuck you.
	I hate you.
	What a fucking...
	Clown world.
	Clown world.
	Okay, so should we jump into the mailbag?
	Sure.
	Let's let the freebies, the freeloaders, see what the mailbag is like.
	I really don't like that picture of me.
	I thought that was your dad.
	I don't like that picture of my great-grandfather today.
	That's what he looks like right now.
	Dear Gavin and Lord Provost of the Fag Zone, this video sums up perfectly why the West is the best.
	In the jewelry district of Bangladesh, these entrepreneurs dig through the literal shit from the sewage pipes of different shops in the hope of gathering some of the gold dust that other jewelers have shit out.
	Literally the turd world.
	Gold dust.
	Boy, you gotta have a hell of an immune system to dig through shit all day.
	You have a hepatitis vaccine.
	You could fucking blow AIDS in those kids' faces with a shotgun and they would be fine.
	If we read their names on a piece of paper, we would get explosive diarrhea.
	Unbelievable.
	Yeah, you'll end up as dog food.
	How would you discern the gold dust from just shit?
	Like they're down here with like a pants.
	Through the literal shit from sewage pipes, gathering some of the gold dust the other jewelers have shit out.
	How much dust do they shit out?
	I mean, do they inhale it or they're eating it and it's going it must be like a molecule every two years.
	There's guys in New York who chip away at the sidewalk in the jewelry district there in Midtown, right?
	They chip away at the granite to get the various chunks that people have dropped.
	And we're talking about like a grain of sand.
	Jump ahead to the shitting.
	I don't care about their route.
	Their commute to shit town.
	See, this is what they thought when they jumped on that plane in Kabul.
	By the way, we have a very special episode tomorrow.
	It will not be a GOML.
	It'll be a censored.tv presents wherein we sit down with the Army Ranger who did three tours in Afghanistan, and he'll tell us why he was for the war and why he no longer is.
	They don't show this shit explicitly.
	Well, thanks, baby monster, for a scent not you.
	I know.
	For sending us a video of people sifting through shit for gold and just showing us their commute.
	And then they eat the poo-poo.
	That was part of the documentary.
	He digs through the poo-poo.
	He's talking about lunchtime.
	I've seen that video so many times, I'm starting to get on the gay side.
	I'm like, actually, Pastor, they don't literally eat the poo-poo.
	What they do is lick the anus of their lover, which heterosexuals also do in pornography and in real life.
	And I would argue that when you see porn people do it, they've blasted their ass with enemas because they're in a porn.
	They don't want to eat the poo-poo.
	That sounds very gay.
	Either he saw shit porn, which is incredibly rare, or he just saw someone licking an ass.
	Or maybe he saw two girls one cup.
	Oof.
	I still get nauseous from watching that.
	Dude, it's chocolate.
	Is it?
	They enema their asses clean as a whistle.
	But what about that?
	And then they put up like Nutella in there.
	What about the puke?
	When they're throwing up in each other's mouths.
	But it's like Chris Angel puke where that was just in your top stomach.
	Yeah.
	That makes it so much.
	Polygastric.
	Gav.
	Gav, Maddie, and the help.
	Hey, guys, I'm a student at Chico State, which I assume is the university where you learn to be MS-13.
	MS-13 is going through an existential crisis right now.
	They have to make their mind up on how they want to be perceived globally.
	The entire California State University system has mandated the vaccine.
	They allow for medical and religious exemptions.
	What's weird is the Title IX department at our school handles the vaccine exemption request.
	What the fuck does Title IX have to do with vaccines?
	And if you recall, Title IX is the rule that says women's sports has to be as prominent as male sports, right?
	Anyways, all the request forms were leaked, and I imagine it was some purple-haired feminist at the Title IX department.
	I like you more than a friend.
	P.S. Can you fix the banner that pops up when you try to view live shows?
	It still shows Milo.
	Yes.
	About 100 people have told me this, and I send it to our tech guy, and he always goes, yep, that's coming out with the new update.
	It takes a long time to fix these things.
	He's a great guy, a very qualified guy.
	I'm getting concerned that he's not a workaholic.
	I remember last time you said that you wanted it on the site because it's like, well, yeah, the shows are still there.
	No shit for brains.
	I still want his show on the site, but it says tune in Thursdays.
	Oh, that must be changed then.
	Maybe I get to make a new banner.
	I'll make a new banner and send it to him.
	Greetings from Fag Zone South.
	This video is brilliant.
	Video drops your raga all over the place.
	It's just over two minutes long.
	Wouldn't want to waste the baby monster's precious time.
	Now he says baby monsters are apostrophe S. So I think that just means Maddie, not the baby monsters who watch the show.
	Michael Jackson.
	This is like if a video is made by dogs.
	Yeah.
	So what's his dog?
	You know you want it.
	Ray hard.
	Oh fuck it out.
	What are you doing?
	Go and get her.
	Follow her.
	Yeah?
	So this is a redub?
	Yeah.
	That was the original video.
	What's with his belt?
	It's from Black Jackson belt?
	Karate belt?
	Oh, bitch, it's my goals now.
	What the hell is this?
	I'm gonna mouth rape you.
	You're right, fucking bitch.
	I don't remember the original, but it must be equally retarded.
	Is this a song about gang rape?
	What's going on with that fire hydrant?
	What's the let's look at the real original because it can't be much cooler than that, can it?
	Was that bad or what was that?
	The way you make me feel, I believe.
	Yeah, bad is they're all going to a gang thing to fight each other.
	There's no chick there.
	There was a lot of gang rape in his symbolism, like the thriller video.
	That was a bunch of monsters coming together.
	What is he doing with it?
	That's even worse.
	This is funnier than that.
	Yeah.
	Why'd you do a parody of it?
	You can tell you've never had a normal heterosexual encounter.
	You update.
	You're not.
	Why do we tolerate Michael Jackson?
	He's fantastic.
	You know what?
	I knew he was shitty.
	I remember I was in Scotland in Pollock Shaw's in whatever it was, 1983, whenever It's Hard came out.
	And I went with my cousin Colin.
	It's hard.
	It's hard.
	He just said...
	It's hard?
	Okay, Beavis.
	It's hard.
	He got off the wall.
	I got the who, It's Hard.
	Which, by the way, was so bad because Pete Townsend had just done his solo album.
	So he was out there going, I want to fucking taste you.
	And then he just did like some side thing where he's like, I got a snake the size of a sewer pipe living in the ribcage.
	You could tell he was just making up shit quickly so they could have an album.
	Off the wall wasn't that bad.
	I mean, for the time period, it was kind of disco.
	So I'm tough.
	Are you saying I'm tougher than you?
	No, but it was the era of Disco Studio 54.
	Did you like Off the Wall?
	Well, I was a younger kid then, yeah.
	I mean.
	Okay, so you're saying I'm tougher than you?
	Yeah.
	I'm afraid.
	Wow, this is a very...
	At my gym, I was telling Matt the other day, they know him, and they go, are you going to box after this?
	I go, no, I just did, I did a workout.
	And they go, oh, okay.
	So you think you're all tough with your Matty Odell, but you're a fucking pussy.
	He got very hurtful words today at the gym.
	Yeah, very mean.
	What year was, it's hard.
	If you can hold back your juvenile giggling.
	It's hard.
	1982.
	82.
	So at 12, I was like, that just seems gay.
	So I'm not, I don't feel any kind of guilt when I see Michael Jackson because I called it from day one.
	But the rest of America was like, yeah, that's normal.
	He has a fucking rope belt and he's screaming and going, well, if you look at the picture of him on off-the-wall album cover, he's got an afro about this big, his nose is about this wide, and he's as dark as brown leather.
	Pull up off the wall.
	Because that's a good comeback.
	That he was still black back then.
	Yeah.
	He's got a tuxedo on it.
	He's got a tuxedo on.
	He's up against the side.
	He's lying on the side.
	Yeah.
	No, that would be Thriller lying on the side.
	Right there.
	What year was that?
	That's off the wall.
	82.
	Yeah, so we bought those two albums at the same time.
	Wait, released the same one.
	Oh, why not?
	If you opened it.
	79.
	Okay, yeah.
	Okay, so then what's Thriller?
	Maybe it was Thriller he had.
	Thriller's the one he's wearing like a white jacket and he's laying down.
	He's got Jerry Curl juice in his face.
	Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
	It was Thriller.
	It was Thriller.
	What happened to Jerry Curls?
	Like I said, I still do my pubes just.
	Off the wall was kind of like more disco-y.
	Yeah, yeah, sorry.
	It was Thriller I was talking about.
	I knew at the age of 12 that this guy's lame.
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	And Nita Fashionist does that.
	And they also understand your style.
	Like, I like sort of Peewee Herman, very slim fit, kind of floods at the bottom.
	They'll make me that.
	If you're more conservative and you want to have a more standard sort of a suit where you don't look like Peewee, they'll make you that.
	Look at that fit.
	It's perfect.
	So you DM them or you contact them through the site.
	What's the URL, Ryan?
	You would go to nitafashions.com.
	Again, that's N-I-T-A.
	Fashions.
	N-I-T-A.
	And what they do is they ship it to you.
	They FedEx it to you from Hong Kong.
	And they can do alterations.
	I became a fat pig after the first time I met them.
	I've been going to them for many years.
	I think at least 10 years.
	So I've gone up a waist size.
	I sent them back all my pants and said, I'm fat now.
	And they added two from 34 to 36 because they knew that was coming.
	They could tell by the way I drank beer that I was going to get fat.
	And they made them big again.
	Everything fits me magically.
	It's fucking amazing.
	And I don't care if you work in the sewers.
	I don't care if you're Norton from the Honeymooners.
	You should have at least one suit that fits you perfectly, one high-quality dress shirt.
	And then the ties and shit you can get.
	I go to tiebar.com, $20 ties.
	It's nice to have a nice Brooks Brothers tie, but it's really like 4% better than a $20 tie.
	And they're $80.
	So cheap rich guys go to Nita Fashions and they get outfitted from head to toe.
	And then once you start, it's sort of like a tattoo.
	Once you get one, you want another one, and then you start getting creative.
	Hey, that's my exact suit.
	I stole your fucking suit.
	That motherfucker stole my suit.
	Yeah, I recognize that jacket.
	That suit.
	Son of a bitch.
	Well, I stole it from Animal House, so I'll forgive him.
	But nitafashions.com.
	And these guys are old school tailors, like Salville Row levels.
	You don't really get this anymore.
	And if you do in New York, you're looking at five to seven grand for this quality of tailor.
	Look at that Kingsman-esque shit right there.
	That is nice.
	It would have to be a hell of an occasion, though.
	Yeah, I know.
	Yeah.
	I would just look for occasions like this.
	You can't, like, go to a steak dinner and that.
	It's like a smoking jacket.
	It is.
	Yeah, I think it is.
	You can't just dig through shit looking for gold in India if you're going to wear a ceiling.
	By the way, they sent me the time code, and apparently I was a little off.
	Oh, it's been updated.
	The show is getting updated live?
	That's correct.
	All right, let's watch young Indian children, which is unfortunate because we're just talking about Nita fashions and how classy they are.
	And it's Indians who run it in Hong Kong, not Chinese, because China is an asshole.
	But we're going to say goodbye to this ad so we don't sell their brand.
	Close the gate.
	And then we're going to see Indians dig through shit looking for particles of gold.
	That's a ceiling fan.
	Three shadows slip discreetly through the streets of the gold district at about nine in the evening.
	But you don't eat gold when you work with gold.
	That's what I'm trying to say.
	What do they inhale it?
	That's like trying to get fabric from Taylor's shit.
	But I guess because if it's so fine, you would inhale it or swallow it maybe.
	Okay.
	I don't get it.
	So now we're talking about dust, like flour.
	You know, it would be go through their sewer or shower pipes if they took a shower if they had gold dust.
	I don't know.
	I'm just saying.
	That makes more sense.
	If you work making gold and you're like, and then you have a shower, but eating it.
	Okay, this is their time code.
	23-24.
	Once a month, Ghazi and his two employees search through the sewers.
	Dude, what is the value?
	These are the waste waters from the goldsmiths.
	The workshops are just behind, and their pipes empty out here.
	Can't you just get a job at McDonald's?
	Does that smell bad, you think?
	Yeah, no, it smells good.
	Years ago, I used to work in the sewers.
	Really?
	Oh, yeah?
	Local 731.
	The shit in India actually, it's two negatives make a positive, and it ends up tasting like cotton candy.
	Oh, interesting.
	Wait, why is Maddie blurry?
	Are you using a different camera for him?
	Yeah, he's not.
	Look at him.
	He's crisp.
	He looks pretty blurry to me.
	I see a crisp.
	Why'd you use a different camera for him?
	Because our sparks stopped negotiating with our TriCaster, and I'm working on it, but we had to transition from that shoot, so not enough time to do that.
	Wait, we were done the shoot at 5.
	The show's at 9.
	Yeah, but, you know, I have to contact TriCaster and all that stuff, or NewTek, rather.
	And...
	Did you go home and have dinner?
	I did.
	And I edited half the show that we did.
	But that's not how someone who's dealing with an emergency behaves.
	Hold on a second.
	And then it was working, and then it wasn't working.
	I'm not familiar with this concept of computers being on and off.
	I know they're like old-timey Model T Fords, 1982 Chevy Nova, maybe.
	But computers, they're pretty much yes or no.
	Yeah, true.
	I mean, we put different cameras into the Sparks, so maybe that had something to do with it, but nothing had changed except for us setting up for that shoot, so I'm confused too.
	But I'll get to the bottom of it.
	Just like they're getting to the bottom of this to find gold.
	Yeah, I don't care anymore.
	I think we should wrap it up as far as the free shit goes.
	We've read for our three sponsors, and I like to punish the freeloaders with ads.
	But now it's going to be all gravy for the people who pay $10 a month.
	And once again, if you subscribe to censored.tv, you literally get more content than you could watch.
	If you do watch 100% of our content, you need to get a life because that's like four or five hours a day.
	You shouldn't have four or five hours a day to throw away at incredibly entertaining, slightly right of center television.
	And I don't even like saying slightly right of center.
	We're anti-government.
	We're just normal.
	All we do is say America's not racist, sexist, transphobic.
	That's bullshit.
	This news is ridiculous.
	That woman didn't have no pre-existing conditions.
	She was a fat pig.
	That's why she died of COVID.
	Basically, our news is just the way your brother talks at his local bar.
	Normal shit, which has become very radical and highly cancelable and very dangerous and contentious in the year 2021.
	In Clown World, to be normal is to be a radical.
	And to be a radical lefty is normal.
	So if you live in a slightly liberal town or a very liberal town like Manhattan, LA, you start to think that you're nuts.
	And then you tune into this show every day at 8 o'clock and you realize, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
	Everyone else is fucking nuts.
	And then you get inspired and you go, I'm sick of hiding.
	I'm sick of pretending that I don't love Trump.
	I'm sick of pretending that I love Joe Biden and I think that he did a great job in Afghanistan.
	I'm sick of pretending that I know who the fuck Kamala Harris is or what any of her policies are.
	No one knows this bitch.
	She's a stranger and there's nothing fucking black about her.
	See, that's how normal people talk.
	So then you get in trouble because you say too much.
	And that's the way it should be.
	We should get in trouble.
	We should get fired.
	We should be brave.
	And we should never stop fighting.
	Now, Americans should start Christmas shopping early because there's going to be...
	Hold on, hold on, let's establish this.
	Kamala Harris is in Saigon.
	Wait a minute, before you even start talking about this, of all the places on earth to go to, she went to Saigon.
	Now, the running meme this entire week has been that big two.
	A stage 47 Chinook.
	A stage 47 Chinook picking up people in Saigon in whenever it was, 75.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then the exact same Chinook picking up people at the embassy in Kabul.
	Yeah.
	And everything looks the same, except the buildings look a little bit different, but everything looks the same.
	And then she decides to fly into the meme and go to fucking Saigon.
	Yeah.
	What were you thinking?
	Well, she probably just laughed.
	What did she say?
	She told Americans that they should start Christmas shopping early because of the supply shortage in America.
	Like, you might not be able to get what you want when it gets closer to Christmas time.
	Because things are going to be going so well.
	die to Yeah,
	so I agree.
	What's that song?
	No chance.
	I think they made me with the Russians on that one.
	What's a good song to go kill people to, man?
	I would say maybe El Niño, When It Cuts.
	I'm not familiar with that.
	The band is El Niño?
	El Niño.
	And it's When It Cuts.
	El Niño.
	El Niño.
	Oh shit.
	Remember that song?
	You showed me one, what was it, Ra or something?
	Where it was like they're playing with the.
	Yeah, that's live.
	They're playing with the...
	I don't know how good a version that would be.
	True.
	Who are you talking to?
	Me or Maddie?
	You...
	They played with these Aboriginals that played drums.
	Oh, Sepultura.
	Sepaltura.
	They went to the fucking Brazilian rainforest and hung out with Aboriginals there, like bones through your nose dudes.
	Spoke, didn't learn their language, but got them to record stuff and then made an album called Roots.
	Yeah, that shit's fucking awesome.
	And then Corn stole it.
	So when you hear Corn going, they're just imitating the ABBOs from the rainforest that Sepaltura dug up.
	Because they're from Brazil, Sepaltura.
	This is El Niño.
	Jump in like a third.
	Can you listen to music in prison?
	Yeah.
	Any song you want?
	Well, now, from what I understand, you have like tablets and you have like an iPod, I mean, iTunes account.
	And back then, though, they used to have portable disc mans that you can put a CD in.
	But then people started stealing the motors out of them to make tattoo guns.
	So then they had like a listening room where you could put a selection down of music you wanted to hear and they would play like a different random order of it.
	In the room?
	No, it was in RAC.
	It was part of what they call passive rec.
	Like you'd go in like the little sound booth room and it'd be like four or five stations.
	No, it was like four or five people in there.
	And they give you a headset and they plug it in the wall.
	Oh.
	But you also had your radio, because you needed a radio walkman to listen to the TV in Federal Prison.
	So you could listen to radio stations with that?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Hmm.
	You know what song?
	I have to try not to kill people when I listen to it.
	I played it for you on the way back to DC that one time.
	Nobody by Skindred.
	It's a Rasta-led metal band.
	What's that one now?
	This already sucks.
	15 seconds.
	You are the king of cringe.
	You literally loved it.
	King cringe.
	Well, you're literally no backbone because you loved it at one time.
	What's that got to do with a backbone?
	Maybe a bad memory?
	A man with a backbone loves a thing and never stops.
	What?
	Let me see a picture of them because I'm imagining a white dude with dreads.
	No.
	This is a real dude.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's not embarrassing at all.
	Well, he's surrounded by his song.
	What is he my age?
	He wasn't in 2004 when that song came out.
	You didn't even let it slap the way it was supposed to.
	Yeah, whatever.
	I found that No Chance in Hell song.
	That's Vince McMahon's entrance music.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	From WWF.
	Is it a band?
	I don't know who the fuck made this song.
	Peter Berserker.
	No, it's an in-house.
	Is this one that goes...
	No chance!
	No, that's not what I'm talking about.
	That's also cringe.
	You're making the hairs on my back stand up.
	Alright, speaking of cringe, we have a baby monster saying, have you guys heard of the Dread Knots?
	What a terrible name for a band.
	They're a Canadian folk punk band.
	Pretty bad name, though.
	Gavin, my kid has the sprinkles.
	Okay, probably not, but I hope this video makes you laugh and presents yet another example of what having kids does for your life.
	Also, we aren't on social media, so this is exclusive to baby monsters.
	Spicy.
	Which one?
	That one?
	That one's too much.
	Smell it first, please.
	I don't think that's a good idea, Dad.
	I think that's cool.
	Just dab your finger.
	Yeah, that's about enough.
	You did not give her the basket, did you?
	He's like, what did I do?
	Is it too spicy?
	It's too spicy.
	Still going.
	Thank you.
	Like how he gets a thank you in there.
	What's the verdict, boss?
	It's funny because he keeps like moving his back.
	Don't you cut away?
	It's ended.
	Oh, that's funny.
	I do at the end of the day.
	That was pretty fucking funny.
	Yeah.
	Thank you.
	I love those videos of like babies trying lemons for the first time.
	You should have an all-baby show.
	The world is a glib, gloomy place.
	Glib?
	The world's a glib, gloomy place.
	What does glib mean, Ryan?
	Jiminy glib.
	Jiminy glib.
	The world is very glib, you know.
	Don't look it up.
	Tell us what glib means.
	I thought it was like a interchangeable with bleak.
	No.
	Smug.
	Oh, really?
	Fuck.
	Hey, Zar Gavin, Bolshevik guy.
	Gavin has got me thinking about the proper rating scale, how to judge a woman.
	This is obviously subjective.
	This girl ranges between a three and an eight.
	Kind of impressive.
	Her name is Nikita Ackerman.
	Wow, that's a hell of a range.
	Like that one, the one with the glasses is like a cute, fun five.
	Four.
	Right?
	Just an asexual, your friend's little sister or some shit.
	Just.
	Yeah.
	Hey, you're a girl.
	Yeah.
	Someone who can like tune a piano.
	And then there's this girl where she comes over, you guys are going out with your wife and stuff.
	And then your wife sees you look at her and go, what the fuck?
	And then you and your wife get into a dumb fight.
	Because your wife's mad that you looked at her that way.
	Pretty hot.
	No chance.
	Hey, Groundskeeper Willie and Groundskeeper know Willie.
	Oh, Maddie's not invited to this.
	This guy reminds me of Flight of the Concords.
	He has sprinkles, and every now and then, like this video, keep on punching.
	I don't know, man.
	You guys are way too generous with your sprinkles.
	Alright, can I get these in a size 11, please?
	Oh, sorry.
	I don't work here.
	Oh.
	It's just you were folding the clothes.
	Yes, I'm just very tidy.
	The badge?
	Oh, uh.
	Hmm.
	Is that...
	I think that's part of the clothes.
	Oh, I think it's like a branding thing.
	Oh, I work here.
	Hi, can I help?
	I work it here.
	Yes.
	Are you the manager?
	Yes.
	Could I get these in a size 11, please?
	Oh, sorry.
	No, I don't work here.
	I thought you said you were the manager.
	Yes.
	Manager of what?
	Real Madrid.
	Going to the Spanish.
	Everything's brilliant.
	This guy has to be a foreigner.
	Could I get these in a size 10?
	I'm going to have to.
	I don't usually respond to people.
	I know.
	But I got to email this guy.
	I'm just going to say, are you a foreigner?
	Do you think it's an insult if he finds both you and them funny?
	Yeah, that hurts my feelings.
	It's a concern.
	That would be a good sketch.
	You have a guy, she's dating some guy, and she's like, oh my god, I've never been treated like this before.
	He's so enthusiastic, and it's so flattering.
	And then later, you see him ogling some incredibly fat woman.
	I got to work on the punchline a bit there.
	There was a woman on the train the other day.
	I'm coming up from the city, and she's a chubby nurse.
	She's getting off in the Bronx.
	Her ass is about this big, but everything else was okay.
	Am I being too big?
	Yeah, I'm being too big.
	This big.
	Shaped like a pear.
	Pretty pearry, but also with a bit of a gunt.
	And she's on the phone.
	She has AirPods.
	Is her Diet the Perry project?
	Go ahead.
	Wait, someone's calling us.
	Call Dr. Steve.
	All the scat stuff is fake.
	Dr. Steve, the Howard Stern doctor, and also Opi and Anthony's doctor.
	Oh, he's telling us about the porn stuff.
	Chip porn.
	Yeah, but the puke.
	We already got to the puke part, which is real.
	All right.
	Thanks, Vincent.
	So she's holding her phone like this, and she's talking this loud, and she's not over by the doors.
	She's with us in the chairs.
	And I could touch her.
	She's this far away from me.
	I could just, if I threw a banana, I would throw it this hard to hit her in the face.
	People there, people there, everyone's around.
	And she's just like, yeah, hey, long time, no C. Yeah, no, I did.
	He ended up moving in.
	And, you know, at the beginning, we got along because we're going through, both going through a divorce.
	He's got two kids, you know.
	And we sort of bonded on that.
	And then I asked him to move in, moved in for a while.
	And then, you know, we just stopped having sex.
	And he's just playing video games all the time.
	So I go, you know, it's over.
	And then he wanted me back and he wanted to fuck all the time.
	She didn't say fuck, actually.
	She pretended to have some sort of decency.
	And then she goes, and then after that, there was like, there was a lot of guys, but there's like three main guys.
	So there was this Italian guy right at a bar.
	And I really, like, I said to him, I'm going home with you tonight.
	And he was great.
	That was amazing.
	He was super young.
	It was a baby.
	He was like 19.
	And then there was this other guy, this Turkish guy.
	And he just wanted to do it like all the time.
	He was over, like he was only over for like that night.
	And then we slept over the morning.
	We did it five times.
	But each time was only like 20 seconds.
	And I was like, I didn't get anything out of that, you know?
	Just sitting there talking like this.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Obviously not.
	Now, tell me if I'm a pussy, because I was thinking, I got to say something.
	And then I was thinking, I'm just going to go, it's a lot of fucking.
	A lot of fucking.
	Why didn't I do that?
	I think I just chickened out.
	And then I was also going to say, has it ever occurred to you that your troubles with men, your divorce, and all these other guys not calling you back might have something to do with the fact that you're a colostomy bag for Strangers Come?
	That would have been funny.
	And it would have had content for the show instead of this pussy story of me just sitting there going, oh, God.
	Hey, Gavin and Lime's boy, the video of the punk and the skin and pepper spray ain't London.
	Fuck no, it's some European city.
	Yeah, I think it's Denmark.
	There was something not right about those punks.
	They were too perfect.
	Hey, you great-minded humans.
	It's trippy sometimes when you show clips or comment on projects that I've had something to do with.
	I've worked on films for 38 years, and yes, even in Hollywood, still do.
	I have some insight into the Twilight Film CG Baby thing, if you want to know.
	I worked on that, and others in the series.
	But first of all, films are cheesy drek, although hugely funded.
	Yes, kidding porn for 13-year-old Mormon girls containing cute vampires and muscly werewolves.
	Anyway, for what it's worth, you got the wrong angle with the CG baby thing.
	They didn't just make a CG baby CGI for some odd reason.
	They had the idea from the original author's books.
	I don't know, but the child grows incredibly fast so that by the end of the film, she looks like maybe an eight-year-old or some such.
	So if you look at the face and the hand in the film clip you showed, you can see now, knowing this goal, that what they did was paste an older child's face onto a baby's head and stretched out the fingers of her hand to give the impression this baby isn't normal and was already a bit prescient,
	even at just a few weeks.
	They grow up so fast in spades.
	Now, well, that may have been their aim, but that didn't come across.
	Like, if a baby grows nine years in like a week, it's still going to look like a normal baby when you look at it for three seconds.
	Wouldn't it just be an older baby?
	Then you get to cast an older baby.
	Yeah, just get an older baby.
	It looks the same.
	Yeah.
	Unless it's supposed to be a horrifying creep, which the mission accomplished.
	You could have accomplished all that with a normal baby.
	Whatever.
	I can't believe I'm writing you guys about this.
	I guess it's just that you guys give so much great info.
	I figure if not something, blah, blah, blah.
	I thought I should share it.
	And then he says, don't read this on air.
	But here are some boards about what they were going to do later.
	Okay, we won't read that on air.
	Whatever.
	And we have an email with zero content.
	Oh, here we go.
	If you guys haven't seen this YouTube channel, I think you're going to like it.
	Progmetal MAGA.
	Yeah, I'm bored of that dude.
	Also, the song Beast of No Nation by Fila Kuti would be a great opening song since it relates to the Prowboys being in jail for nothing.
	It's about how Fila was arrested and given five years.
	When he got out, his fans wanted to know what his life was like in jail, but he just tells him not to worry.
	Surely, whoever's jailed him wanted to make an example out of him, and he knew it would be better for the people to not fear jail.
	My people are senseless, my people are useless, my people are undisciplined.
	I feel like I've heard that before.
	I feel like Cootie's a badass.
	I thought you couldn't.
	We got a pun coming up, folks.
	It's going to suck.
	Yes, Ryan.
	No, why would the cops want to catch Cooties?
	Davy Monster likes it.
	Circle, circle, bat, bat.
	Now you got my cootie shot.
	Okay, this is another letter.
	HBO's White Lotus.
	You are right.
	White Lotus is an absolute masterpiece.
	I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the moral of the story.
	I have my own theories, and in a way, the moral is kind of red-pilled.
	But that isn't my point today.
	I want to focus on the storyline about the young man, Quinn Mosbatcher.
	Maybe creator Mike White imagined your influence on young men creating this character.
	When we meet Quinn, he's a beta loser addicted to porn who plays video games.
	However, I was interested to hear him joke with his dad using your quips about the problem with men today.
	Something like, we cannot harass girls anymore.
	And you mean, like, we're cucked.
	See the video stamp 125.
	Why?
	Because we can't harass girls anymore?
	You mean like we're cucked?
	Yeah.
	What's the matter with harassing a girl, by the way?
	Like, my angle used to be, no, it's not harassment.
	It's just flattering and blah, blah, blah.
	You're taking it wrong.
	But now I'm like, well, what if it was pure harassment?
	What's the matter with sexual harassment?
	You know what I mean?
	Patrice O'Neill wanted that national holiday where one day out of the year, you're allowed to completely harass your coworkers, your female coworkers.
	Like, what if your boss...
	I'm just thinking outside the box here.
	So you're a woman, you work at a job, you like this job, your boss comes over and just squeezes both your ass cheeks, right?
	Is he going to get away with that kind of behavior very long?
	I mean, people aren't going to want to work with him.
	The word's going to get out.
	He's going to get fired.
	Pretend it's not illegal.
	People are going to quit the second they get a better job.
	The boss, his boss is going to go, why are all these qualified women leaving?
	Oh, he tends to grab their ass.
	Won't it just sort of naturally end?
	But wouldn't you, if like that was your sister, wouldn't you go beat the shit out of the guy?
	Yeah, that sounds good.
	That law kind of protects that guy.
	Yeah, that sounds reasonable.
	I don't know.
	I'm going to probably flesh out ideas that are that controversial.
	Well, physical harassment's different from just, hey, how you doing?
	I just, sometimes, like, I'm very sympathetic to women because we're sort of made to be.
	But then I think about the way I've spoken to my coworkers and the way my job has gone and all my other jobs and the way, I don't know, like I've punched you before.
	I literally asked for it.
	I literally asked for it.
	No, but there's times when I've like lost my temper and like shoved you and stuff and threatened to kill your entire family.
	Yeah.
	I mean, that's how you get the job done.
	Yeah, I don't take it personal.
	It's business.
	Women do not belong in the workforce.
	You've done this to me.
	This hovered.
	Yeah, like, how affluent of a society are we living in when that is considered bad?
	What the fuck?
	You can't even make a move.
	What's the worst you've ever been beaten, Maddie?
	Beaten?
	Beaten.
	B-E-A-T-E.
	I've been beaten pretty bad.
	Describe the worst.
	You don't have to get into why and all that stuff.
	I've had about seven guys stomp the shit out of me.
	Ouch.
	Seven.
	And like stomping on your head.
	Oh, yeah.
	Kicking you in the ribs.
	Did they knock you unconscious?
	Everything.
	No, I never lost conscious.
	Are we allowed to know why?
	I pissed them off, actually, obviously.
	And then what happened to you?
	You went to the hospital?
	No.
	Oh.
	I just kind of sucked it up.
	Did you piss blood?
	No, I did not piss blood.
	I thought my ribs were broken.
	They did some numbers on my ribs.
	They hurt for five weeks?
	They hurt for a while, yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Was your face just complete like mush or like it took a while to recover your face?
	I mean, I don't want to say that I covered up pretty well.
	I mean, you're not going to.
	Oh, you were wearing makeup back then.
	Well, no, you know, at some point, you're going to end up on the ground in a fetal position, just covering your head, your face.
	So, you know, blows did get through and stuff like that.
	I'm not saying everyone has to go through a beating of seven guys.
	I'm just saying you talk to most people and they've, especially men, and they've had a horrible ass kicking once or twice in their lives.
	Oh, the idea of like a hand touching your elbow when you didn't want it to.
	Not too intrusive.
	They complain about the AC being oppressive.
	You know that.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I've had homos grab my ass.
	I think it's funny.
	I mean, at what point when does human nature come in and if you think things are going your way or you're having a shot with a girl, you have to break the ice.
	You have to make a move.
	You have to do something.
	Right.
	I feel bad for younger kids today because they're brought up under this.
	Like when we were young, you reached in and kissed a girl.
	What was she going to do?
	Smack you in the face?
	Well, the two things with sexual harassment in the workforce are one thing that's amorphous and impossible to describe or quantify.
	It's that there was an atmosphere of sexuality in the air.
	I don't know how the fuck you prove or disprove that.
	One guy got in shit because he had a picture behind him of a woman in a bikini.
	And he's like, it's my wife.
	We're on our honeymoon.
	And they go, sorry, too sexual.
	And he goes, but wait a minute.
	We're in Times Square.
	If you look at the window, there's a Victoria's Secret ad.
	That's out the window.
	That's in life.
	And it's also in the same Range of view as my wife in a bikini.
	And then, so that's nuts.
	But then the other one is quid pro quo, where they say, if you blow me, you'll get a raise.
	No, now for this, I'm not blowing you.
	Yeah, I don't want to give you the raise.
	Like if Donald Trump said, I can free John and Max, but you have to blow me.
	I'd be like, it's not one other thing you could think of.
	I'll eat a spider this big.
	I'll wear.
	Can you eat it while blowing human feces as glasses for three weeks?
	I mean, my dick's not that bad.
	I don't know why you.
	Fucking.
	Is that a full blowjob?
	This teacher of ours used to massage our backs all the time.
	And that was pretty weird, but we were just like, ugh, just Coach Palela.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Like, I remember when somebody mentioned him.
	I was.
	Wait, what's your camera?
	He literally does that to me.
	If Maddie has the 360 cam, oh, you swoosh over it.
	Well, I got to admit, you fixed this problem pretty quickly.
	Yeah, I had this in mind since the moment I was getting troubles with that.
	I was like, if anything, we could just do this.
	So your coach went, what age is this?
	10th grade?
	So you're like, the whole high school he was there.
	Yeah, you know, it didn't feel weird.
	He was just drunk all the time.
	He used to put vodka in his coffee.
	That's it.
	So he's fine.
	But he had Harry.
	He's a little meatball of a guy, hairy knuckles, a horseshoe bald pattern.
	And he would come up behind you as you're working and he would just kind of go.
	That's pretty good, yeah.
	Good job.
	Good job at what?
	What are you, like doing your schoolwork?
	Just doing bullshit.
	I thought he was a phys ed coach.
	Yeah, but he would substitute teach.
	You know?
	And so coaches are touchy.
	Maybe that's his way of teaching.
	But it never felt like a weird.
	It sounds like too much of the indecence.
	Really?
	We never got that vibe.
	I mean, our principal was a child molester.
	Oh, my God.
	Really?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He was also a football coach, and he would do weird shit with it.
	And then, you know, it wasn't until we graduated that we found out.
	What was his name?
	Motherfucker.
	Rossi.
	Principal Rossi.
	We'll pull him up.
	Yeah, let's see.
	Oh, shit, you're right.
	Wait, there's probably like articles about him.
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	What, you didn't think of that?
	When I was in the special class, there was James Gunn, Mr. Gunn, and he looked like Jack Palance, who you won't know.
	And he wore cowboy boots, and he had this hairdo, which was very unusual in the mid-80s.
	And the girl I liked at that time was Donna DeLeva.
	And apparently he put his hand down the front of her sweatshirt and grabbed her jugs.
	Oh.
	Wow.
	He was a great teacher that we really liked.
	And he was dealing with severely handicapped people.
	The class I was in in eighth grade wasn't just for dumb kids.
	It was just a dumpster for kids with cancer, kids with weird skin rashes, kids who were too smart and had autism and couldn't look people in the eye, girls who were too tall.
	Like it was just...
	Anyone I don't want to look at.
	Like a Sikh, a girl with a hijab, like just, eh.
	Anyone that was slightly imperfect.
	I was there for being a loudmouth class clown.
	My marks were fine.
	Same here.
	So he took us all in, and we appreciated that.
	We kind of sensed what was going on when we saw like Steve Zarth had 100 in math.
	And then we find out he's a fucking diddler.
	Oof.
	This was the diddler.
	That's Mr. Diddle.
	It's fucking crazy because so I walked in my graduation twice because I got held back for half of a credit.
	So I got into a water fight, got suspended, couldn't take the final.
	So for government economics, each being half a credit, making up one whole credit, I got held back for half a credit.
	And this guy let me walk twice.
	He's like, you know what?
	You could walk.
	Just walk with no pants on.
	Just walk with no pants on.
	And that's what I did.
	And then we made out.
	No, but I was wondering, and after he got caught, you know, this after I'm graduated, I'm like, did he think I was sexy?
	Maybe that's why he did that?
	Were you sexy?
	Hell yeah.
	Because you're not now.
	You lost it, Rye.
	Cameron won.
	Spoilers, the show goes on.
	He tosses his porn in disgust.
	The timestamp 1025, he replaces video games and porn with long-distance team canoeing.
	He aspires to be a manly man, having adventure.
	Maybe Mike White accidentally showed your influence on men, but it seems like he watched an episode of your show and created an archetype baby monster.
	By the way, I know you guys hate being called baby monsters.
	I just want you to know that as this thing grows, inevitably, there's going to be a moment where you're in the news.
	And it'll say three of the people at the riot were baby monsters.
	Nice.
	That's fantastic.
	That's going to be awesome.
	Thumbs up your act.
	That's good.
	And they're going to make it seem real sinister and scary.
	And the new iteration of Proud Boys, an even more sinister group called Baby Monsters.
	I saw this thing that Vice did.
	Oh, by the way, Vice, classic Vice.
	They did a thing today.
	Today, they released an article about, and they've taken it down now, but it's about how a shocking number of these white nationalists we discover are also Marines.
	Once again, white nationalists in a hate group turns out to be a Marine.
	Of all the fucking days to put out that article, you chose a day where 12 servicemen were killed for the Marines, I believe.
	Like yesterday, two days from now, maybe we could argue.
	But fucking today, you idiots.
	Ironic, too, that you were filming a show with an Afghanistan.
	And I didn't know because I was busy talking to a fucking Ranger who was in Afghanistan.
	I see he left you some swag over there.
	Yep.
	I see that.
	That's on the wall.
	Bravo.
	You know, I was joking with him about Stolen Valor, and I was like, if I want him to get pussy, like, how could I convince girls I'm a Ranger?
	What battalion do I say he's in?
	And he was laughing, but I could see he was like, does not like that subject.
	Yeah.
	I think his left fist balled up.
	Yeah, he was like, yeah, you could say a lot of stuff, but it wouldn't be the kind of thing you'd want to do.
	Yeah.
	Well, if I was a bartender and I want to get extra tips on Memorial Day, how would I pretend I'm a Ranger and I was in Afghanistan?
	That's like whenever I say to vets, I go, the thing about Pearl Harbor, when they have the reunions, none of them are hot.
	And every time I do that joke with them, they go, yeah, I'm not.
	I can't laugh at that.
	I'm not getting involved.
	It's weird that they physically can't laugh at that.
	Taboo.
	It's not like they laugh when they feel bad.
	Their body will not allow them to laugh.
	So wait, what does it say about your principal?
	What comes up?
	Besides your dick.
	Hey, you.
	It said that he resigned his job in a plea deal.
	I seen on the bottom of one of the pictures.
	Oh, really?
	Principal gives up job and plea.
	Hand job, that is.
	Yeah, if you're known for molesting children, I would take any plea you get.
	Like Jared from Subway, he took 15 years.
	So what was really on the table must have been pretty bad.
	It's getting the foot long, yeah.
	Oh, text messages to then 16-year-old Torres.
	I wonder who that was.
	I don't think I ever found out who it was.
	Do you feel ugly and do you feel gay that he never hit on you?
	I think he did.
	Oh.
	I think he let me walk twice, one without an actual diploma, one with, because he thought I was what.
	He thought you were what, what in the butt.
	That's correct.
	What, what?
	But he had a chance.
	That's embarrassing.
	It was so embarrassing, too.
	I mean, embarrassing to be raped?
	What are you talking about?
	To have a principal that was all, I don't know.
	Embarrassing.
	It feels weird for everybody, I think.
	Well, he's a pedophile.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Embarrassing's not on my list.
	Aren't you?
	Hi.
	Oh, gross.
	There's that guy whose principal's a pedophile.
	Yuck.
	You can't come to the party.
	That's just a bad.
	You might bring your principal, and he rapes kids.
	Preschool teacher.
	Oh, here we go.
	Co-creation.
	We'll all be happy to learn she has been fired.
	I was joking.
	Sorry.
	I was looking at that post of hers that someone dug up from 2015.
	And I noticed the hashtag she uses, legal, kink, sex.
	Now, given the context of what she's talking about, which itself is creepy, most people figured sex stood for sex education.
	Webster's dictionary defines sex as having sex or sexual instincts.
	And two, having sex appeal.
	Sexed.
	Either the pedos are using different codes to communicate online and on social media, or she just made a Freudian slip like a motherfucker.
	Sexed.
	So he's talking about that woman who put up a tweet saying, what kind of legal consent form would I need?
	Imagine the audacity to ask that publicly.
	To talk to kids, my kids, my students, about consent.
	No, sorry, sorry.
	About kink.
	Because if there's one thing seven-year-olds need to know is how to address their various sexual perversions.
	They don't even hide it on Planned Parenthood, which I tell my preschooler about sex and sexual.
	Nothing.
	Zero.
	Yeah.
	Pretty easy question.
	I think it was like seventh grade, seventh or eighth grade in health class.
	They started with the sex ed.
	Sexed.
	I remember my daughter must have been like, she was in a baby seat.
	So she must have been like four or five.
	Maybe four.
	And she goes, wait a minute.
	Yeah, when was my youngest born?
	So she's maybe, yeah, five.
	And she goes, wait a minute, where does my brother come from?
	And I go, from mommy.
	And she goes, he just comes out of you?
	Like, is there a pill or something?
	This had just occurred to her, sort of sitting in the back of the car.
	And then she goes, what, you take a pill and he just happens?
	And I go, no, mommy and daddy hug and the daddy's body gives the mommy's body what it needs to make a baby.
	And then she was just silent as a mouse for a long time.
	Like, what the fuck?
	I don't even want to know what the fuck he's talking about.
	Little did she know that her wildest dreams, it's way weirder than that.
	Blood randomly, I don't know how.
	It doesn't do this to any other like finger, ear.
	It rushes down to a flaccid penis.
	So much blood goes into this penis that it starts blowing up like it's going to pop.
	And instead of like a burn or something where it's like a water balloon, this, I guess the capillaries are so constrained that it becomes hard like a rock.
	We're not even, it's not even the weird part yet.
	So now the blood in one part of his body makes a hard wood penis and then he puts it inside mom's vagina.
	Mom, you might think your mom has a penis at that point.
	Puts it in a hole.
	Mom has no penis.
	She has a hole.
	Puts it into the hole, sticks it inside of her body like a knife killing someone, but it's a wood blood penis that goes into her hole.
	Still not the crazy part.
	And I think I know why.
	Now you just randomly shake in and out.
	You don't just leave it there.
	You have to shake it and out for like, well, it used to be a lot longer.
	Now it's like a minute or two.
	And then white vanilla ice cream shoots out.
	It doesn't go in your vagina, it shoots all over the room like you jumped on a ketchup packet or a mayonnaise packet.
	I'm 51.
	I still think that's fucking weird.
	You know what I think?
	What?
	I come really, really hard.
	Oh.
	Even like fuck the cum pun.
	What he's actually saying there is that like he'll come at you if you fuck with him, right?
	And even that is no, you know what it was?
	What it was, he said, he was saying, I come really, really hard at 45 at Trump.
	He's like, if you look at my tweets and my social media, I come really hard.
	You know what he is?
	He is like Down syndrome, borderline.
	He's a himbo.
	He's the stupidest, one of the stupidest people in the world.
	Yeah.
	Hands down.
	Like, I bet when he drives, he gets lost 75% of the time.
	It's not a joke.
	I bet he leaves his car running.
	I bet if we did a whole, if like that, the best thing about dying is you get this thing from God called Godoogle, and it's a computer, and you can just type in whatever you want, and then you just put in Juicy Smoulay's car history, biggest blunders.
	And then they just show you a montage of all the times he's left the car running and gone home to bed until the car like runs out of gas.
	Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	When is that going to stop getting funny?
	I'm kidding.
	I'm waiting patiently.
	I don't think I told everybody at home, but Shizmobin has caught on to me.
	I put, I felt ugly, I felt gay, at a video that had just no relevance to that whatsoever.
	And he said, shut the fuck up.
	Stop posting weird shit on my thing.
	And I'm like, oh no, I feel like I'm going to get banned.
	But I want to respond in something that is a drop.
	So I said, I know this isn't what you want, but I'm sorry.
	And he let it go.
	I saw that.
	And then every other comment was like, getting good at it, if you will.
	Okay, let's start taking some calls.
	But let's do this.
	What happened to the website?
	I was seriously enjoying the dear censored posts.
	Also, what is clip of the day?
	Is that supposed to be the final video?
	You're confusing the baby monsters with these inaccuracies.
	Love the new studio, blah, blah, blah.
	So clip of the day, again, my tech guy, I love him to death.
	God bless his cotton socks.
	I would like some progress on this.
	I want to have three columns.
	I want to have the blog at the end that has deer censored.
	The middle is clip of the day, and that's free.
	So it's a fun little two-minuteer from the show, and that'll be free so you can send it to someone and say, this is that show I was telling you about.
	You might want to check it out.
	So we take the funniest little three to five minutes of every episode.
	That should be in the center.
	And then the left-hand side will be all the new content.
	Not sure what's taking so long.
	Okay, last letter before we take calls.
	Salma Hayek, that is all.
	You know what, dude?
	I'm not sure how Maddie feels.
	I can tell how Ryan feels from that sound.
	Salma Hayek, maybe a 10.
	That being said, my dick just...
	The voice kills it.
	Is it the voice?
	I think so.
	Like, you'd have to be retarded not to think she's in the top 0.1% most beautiful woman in the country.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yes.
	I don't know.
	It just, I'm not feeling it.
	The voice, it would kill anything in my head.
	She's got kind of a bird nose.
	I know she has fantastic big tits.
	So you hate her voice?
	I'm not a fan of her voice.
	Do Salmahayek interview.
	See, for me.
	You don't mean her accent, right?
	You mean the actual tone.
	I don't want to say the accent, but it's like everything.
	Like, here she looks like kind of Hindu, like that look.
	And her straight hair look just like a South American mom.
	But when she has kind of like curly hair, that's kind of fun.
	But that's the closest it gets to dope.
	She's what, 50?
	51?
	Yeah.
	Okay, pull up her talking.
	You want to, let's go on a young interview, right?
	Because I don't think we're talking about modern-day Hayek.
	2018.
	She really is an age, actually.
	Little by little, I came up with things and I added things and at the end I was the poster.
	I was still a small robot.
	I was the poster of the film.
	And that's what I remembered.
	She really gave me a shot and that's how I got my sag.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	My dicks gave for her.
	Anyway, let's do thanks for calling and then set up some calls.
	Thanks for calling.
	You are on air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You don't need to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	All right, next call.
	Am I gonna hit this little thing?
	I need a beer.
	You want one?
	Yeah.
	Thanks for calling.
	We have on the line with us now James talking about Afghanistan.
	Thanks, BroNato.
	Yo.
	Yo.
	So, all this stuff going on.
	I called before last veteran's day, the old James, the tank commander guy.
	But I 20-year retired vet.
	So, the freaking disaster of a withdrawal, to me, I want to get your opinion.
	To me, it's one of two things.
	It's either full incompetence at every level of the military and the presidency leadership, or it's on purpose.
	I think it's got to be incompetence.
	Like, look at all these translators that they could have brought back.
	They don't have a list.
	Biden has, the administration has no idea how many Americans are there.
	I think we tend to give the government way too much credit.
	Like, they always go, well, it's not Biden.
	Someone's behind the scenes.
	And the more, even those people go, you go, who's behind the scenes?
	Which I do think there's someone behind the scenes.
	And they come up with names like Susan Rice.
	Susan Rice is a gay retard.
	She's the one who, after Benghazi, she said, I'll handle this, Obama.
	And she did all the women's morning talk shows, like The View and all that.
	That was their solution to covering up Benghazi.
	So I think there's people behind the scenes, and I think they're retards.
	So I tell you a story on your point there about just how retarded these people are.
	So in 2011, I was in Afghanistan, 2011, 2012, and we were in a shitty area.
	So the State Department rep shows up to our little freaking 150-man little infantry freaking cop, which is a company outpost, basically a fire base.
	And they were like, they bring all these sub-governors in.
	They freaking brought all...
	It was this big freaking dog and pony show for a little shitty area.
	So all the local leaders come in, the sub-governor, all the Afghan leaders, and they're all, yeah, we're coming.
	This lady, it's a blonde lady.
	So they all want to see her, right?
	The freaking Afghans.
	And we're already like in this deployment, like freaking nine months.
	So we're like, fuck these people.
	So like, they come in and she starts promising all this bullshit and all this, like, they're going to come this, this.
	We're going to come in.
	We're going to build the schools and all this shit.
	And then, and at the end of the day, they get on the helicopter and they fucking leave.
	Who is this woman?
	Sorry?
	Who is this woman?
	What's that?
	This woman who's coming.
	But like, what's her, what's her job?
	Like, what does her business card say?
	He said the State Department.
	Oh, it's the State Department.
	State Department runs the military.
	Representatives of the freaking...
	The people we see on the news, there's a lot of other bureaucrats in there that you never really see.
	So there's like a lot of freaking other agencies and all these other people that are in there, like lower level.
	Like for instance, when I was in Iraq in 2006-07, the deputy Secretary of State showed up to freaking kiss Sheikh Fatar's ass, which he got murdered when we were there in Armadi.
	But because he was the guy that was bringing the sons of Iraq together to fight AQI, because we were paying them off the shit.
	We were paying off.
	Basically, we were paying off the people we had been fighting to fight AQI, Al-Qaeda, because they were moving in.
	And then we were like, he got protected Sheikh.
	But then these people come in, these freaking bureaucrats come in and like, yeah, we're going to do this, do that, and that.
	And then it's like they leave, and then we're there to deal with the fucking mess, the military.
	And we're like, me, I have, at the time, no college degree, no nothing.
	I'm just a freaking shooter.
	And we're out there running like freaking Surah meetings and shit.
	Like, where the fuck are these State Department people?
	They're never there.
	We're doing their, we did their job.
	We did the nation building.
	The military did all the work.
	Who is the State Department guy that got killed?
	What was his name?
	The Sheikh in 2007?
	Yeah.
	Sheikh Satar.
	Look it up.
	Sheikh Satar Rahmati.
	Look it up.
	I was at his freaking funeral.
	Where are you from?
	What's with the frickin'?
	I don't know.
	But.
	I know it's sometimes you say fuck, and other times you say frickin'.
	I don't know.
	I'll just say, because I had kids and stuff.
	But like, with regard to that, the military did all the work.
	Ramadi said town in Iraq.
	Yeah, well, that was before.
	Yeah, Ramadi was Iraq.
	I was a surge.
	I did three.
	The real war for me was Iraq because I did three tours there.
	I only did one in Afghanistan.
	But that was all the same shit.
	I mean, different areas.
	Those are Arabs.
	We're dealing with freaking Persians, basically.
	White Persians.
	Do you think we should have gone into Afghanistan at all?
	I mean, it's like at this point today, looking at it, no.
	We didn't get any resources out of it.
	We didn't take anything.
	I'm kind of like the guy that's like, if we're going to go to war, we're going to take the shit like Trump always does.
	We're going to take yourself, get something out of it.
	That's the way I look at it as well.
	Like how Trump, we talked.
	Oh, Trump's always like, well, why'd we go there if we're not going to get anything out of it?
	Like materials, resources.
	Both wars, we got nothing.
	Supposedly, you know how the liberals say, oh, we went to Iraq for the oil.
	Well, we didn't even get that.
	All of it was for nothing.
	So I don't know what you think about that, but...
	Should we still, should we be fighting foreign wars?
	Should we be around the world being the world police?
	I will not let my children go in the military with these assholes running the country now.
	I freaking did that shit.
	I went in Clinton.
	So I joined when Clinton was president in the 90s.
	And I went through four presidents in the military, combat arms, four combat tours, through all those different presidents.
	Well, not Clinton, because at that time we didn't do the invasion yet.
	For Bush, we did.
	Looking back at it, I'm like, well, what the fuck?
	So wait a minute.
	Was your entire career a waste?
	Well, I mean, I got pensions and stuff, but like.
	But as far as what you did for the world, was it all wrong?
	Was it all for naught?
	That's why I'm looking at it right now.
	It was a waste of, as far as the mission goes, it was a waste of time.
	Wow.
	So I don't know what else to think.
	I still, you know, I guess I'm sure I'm not the only person thinking that right now.
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, it's not even just about the fighting, though.
	I guess I'll make one more point because I know other people want to call on, but it's not just about the fighting the enemy because we love that part of it.
	Like when you're a true, the real combat, if that's listening in, they'll be like, yeah, we love killing those guys.
	The bad part about it, you deal with the torture in the military ranks for all that time.
	So you deal with the freaking getting shit on by your leadership, getting shit on day on today and day out, dealing with all that stuff.
	And I put them through all that torture, the toxic work environment, which is there.
	Trust me.
	It's there in the military.
	That's worse than dealing with the enemy.
	But I don't think they ever talk about it.
	toxic work environment in the army or whatever is worse dealing with these shitty leaders.
	You would rather go out there and fight these dudes.
	That's the fun part.
	You would rather fight.
	You'd rather be in a fucking gunfight with jihadists than deal with the top brass in the modern American military.
	100%.
	Holy shit.
	It's a real fruit or real.
	Anybody that's been in real combat, they'll tell you the same shit, probably.
	They would rather be out there killing freaking terrorists than dealing with freaking dog and pony show or toxic leadership.
	Like you'd rather be with your platoon alone out in the freaking sector than dealing with the frickin' if you had a shitty first sergeant or a shitty commander or any of that crap.
	Did you ever fight?
	Did you ever fight?
	Did you ever fight with women?
	Like have a woman next to you going, da-da-da-da-da-da.
	Never.
	Is that a thing?
	Do you see women in battle?
	What's that?
	Do you see women in battle?
	Is that a thing?
	Never.
	I mean, they're there, so they're usually like support units.
	Now it's different, right?
	I don't know.
	Because I got out when all that stuff was happening, the integration, because the combat job.
	So I'll take it.
	I'll give you a story.
	We had a combat camera chick one time embedded, and she was like Air Force.
	She rode around a couple days with us.
	And then we had a water purification chick one time that just sat on the base there, a little base for the whole deployment, didn't do anything because we drank water bottles.
	And then we had a dog handler chick that wasn't even her real job.
	And she came and they brought the bomb dog out for a couple of days with us.
	That's useless.
	And then trick him thinking like we had, I mean, in those years, you would see the women.
	They're usually the fuelers, the medics.
	They're like, they never really did the real.
	So some of them would get killed on the convoys.
	But it's like 96.
	Of the freaking guys killed in this war are all men.
	I can't remember the stat.
	I looked it up at one point.
	But the women, they do the finance, and they're on the big giant spots with the swimming pools and the freaking, you hear about the...
	I watched, God dang it, he was doing his, on your channel, freaking the, well, Jacob Wool, I watched his show, and he's talking about the freaking all the expenditures.
	I just watched his latest episode, and he's right about everything except for one little area, which he was not correct about, was about how they had the vehicles running 24-7.
	That's not true.
	That's impossible.
	But this is what the reports are getting.
	I see, I mean, so it's not on him.
	But like the everything else he's talking about was spot on.
	The waste of USAID, wasting money.
	I've seen that with my own eyes.
	The freaking, all the waste.
	So everything he was saying is true, the waste of money.
	So it makes me feel like I was out there making, living paycheck to paycheck basically for 20 years of shitty pay, getting killed.
	Everything woke turns to shit.
	Oh, the woke started in 2008, if you get my drift.
	Yeah.
	Everything woke turns to shit.
	The woke in the army is not new.
	That started in 2008.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	I talked to you all night.
	Appreciate it.
	Alrighty, yeah.
	I'll call in again.
	And tomorrow we have an Afghan ranger who's going to go through it all with us.
	He was telling me a story that isn't on tomorrow's show, but he had to do, like, they have to do an inventory of all these people.
	So he's doing this biometric data.
	And you can do fingerprints or the iris.
	And they put a bag on their head so they won't be able to recognize the soldiers.
	And then they take their fingerprints.
	And then, okay, we have someone.
	And they can start quantifying the population.
	This guy was a heroin processor.
	So he was rolling the opium out on these big sort of blankets, pushing it back and forth, rolling it into these, I don't know, long diarrhea tubes.
	And he goes, I can't get fingerprints off this guy.
	I can't scrape the fucking heroin off his fingers.
	It was like an eighth of an inch of heroin.
	And I'm like, but wait a minute, unless you're wearing surgical gloves and a hazmat suit, you're getting high off that.
	And he goes, yeah.
	So I take his hood off to biometric data the irises, and he goes, I've never seen this before, but two eyes were going like this.
	What?
	Wandering around like fruit flies.
	Not connected.
	The guy, I mean, if it was the streets of New York, he probably had a $2,000 a day habit.
	Holy shit.
	All right, next call.
	Okay.
	On the line.
	Nirvana album cover.
	217, you're on the line.
	Hey, yeah, Vrie Maddie.
	How's it going?
	What's going on?
	Hey, how you doing?
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	Yeah, I was seeing if you guys saw this story about, you know, the iconic Nirvana Nevermind cover with a baby on it.
	Yeah, he's suing for kiddie porn.
	He's 30 years old now, and he's, yeah, he's suing and saying he was used for porn, used for child porn, or I don't know, something like that.
	I heard like 2.5 million or something, just seeing what you guys thought of that.
	Yeah, he's suing everyone involved, and he's got it down to 150K per person.
	I think that includes the band, and then it's the record label and the photographer, and every, he gets it nice down to a low number.
	So they go, well, if I go to court for this, it's going to be like 60.
	Maybe I should just pay the 150.
	The retarded thing about his case is he's posed underwater like 10 times over the years.
	If you look it up, you can see him at 15, at 20, at 25, in a bathing suit, jumping into the water and being like, hi, I'm the Nirvana guy.
	So if it was so damaging, why have you constantly been doing interviews and photo shoots in a pool?
	So it's obviously a fucking scam.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	Have you got footage of that?
	Rye guy?
	Yeah, that's him.
	Hey, I'm really deeply traumatized by being on the cover of the Nirvana album when I was a baby.
	It's something that I'd like to get away from, please.
	It was a horrible experience, and I was used for kiddie porn.
	Anyway, I'm the guy!
	He didn't do it naked then.
	Boom, these explosions.
	That was bullshit.
	His cock looked amazing in that photo.
	Let's cut this shit.
	We got Gastone.
	Or as they say in America, Gaston.
	Gadsden?
	Hello?
	Oh, maybe you're not Gadsden.
	845.
	Oh, dude.
	This could be a person from my town.
	845.
	Washington Villain?
	Yo.
	Yo.
	Hey, you guys hear me?
	Yes, we can.
	Yes.
	Yo, so I'm from the same town as Ryan with Mr. Rossi as a principal.
	No kidding.
	I will say, yes, I got friends who are cops up here.
	The report that they saw was a little sketchy, but the kid that actually accused him, there was some shit going on too, though, with that kid.
	He's almost like a pathological liar about some of that shit.
	I'm not defending the guy.
	I guess I am in a sense, but he's not...
	I'm pretty close with the principal's son.
	Oh, yeah, he's confused.
	You know, was fucking ruined about this shit.
	But the guy, you know, as a friend, truly isn't that bad.
	Like, he's a great guy, like Ryan said.
	You know what I mean?
	He really tried to do the best for people, I guess, in that situation, you know?
	But he was definitely accused of some shit.
	It's very sketchy.
	I wouldn't go ahead and say the guy is definitely a fucking pedophile, but it definitely is.
	It doesn't sound like you have a solid opinion on this.
	You're calling him a definite maybe so far.
	There's things to consider.
	Definite maybe, but also you don't always believe the girl that accuses the guy of raping him.
	Well, what were the actual allegations?
	What's up?
	What was he accused of?
	He was accused of...
	All right, so what I've heard is he might have rubbed the guy on his shoulders and asked him to do push-ups in his office, which sounds horrible, but the guy was on football.
	He was like, hey, man, fucking do this shit right now.
	Don't be a bitch.
	Fucking do some push-ups right now.
	But I agree.
	It is fucking weird, but I wouldn't write him off as a pedophile.
	So that was the only instance that...
	I didn't know that that was the only instance.
	It made it sound like...
	Yeah, the news said inappropriate comments with the 16-year-old.
	I'm not sure if do push-ups in my office is...
	It also said forcible touching.
	But was it only one?
	One alleged victim?
	Is it just the one victim?
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	Hell fucking no.
	Like the guy was a really good person.
	I got a buddy who, you know, his parents divorced.
	He was going through a hard time.
	The principal, like, you know, Mr. Rossi was a really fucking good guy to him.
	But this weirdo that did accuse him, he's got some shit going on as well.
	You know what I mean?
	It's not a straightforward, like, I fucking, I raped this kid.
	No, but what I'm asking is was there only one victim that came out and accused him of doing this?
	Yeah.
	Yes, that is true.
	Yes.
	It was only one victim.
	See the thing about these allegations is it always makes it sound vague.
	And once you're pinned down as that, it's like, well, that guy's just touching all sorts of shit.
	But I didn't really know that.
	Maybe afterwards you could DM me the kid's name because I would have known the kid.
	Nopeyup Official is my Instagram.
	All right, we'll check that out.
	Thanks for calling.
	Thanks for calling.
	I graduated a year after all the shake the list.
	Later, dude.
	You know why?
	Interesting.
	You read that as weird homo principal.
	Because that used to be the way it was with the news.
	The news used to be true.
	Oh, yeah, you're right.
	And when you heard that someone was raped or someone was a pedophile, it's because someone was raped and someone was a pedophile.
	And you go, holy fuck, let's go kill him.
	Or I hope they throw him in jail and blah, blah, blah.
	Now, you hear, you know, principal molesting people, and you go, well, what's the story here?
	What happened?
	That's crazy, though.
	Yeah, because it's like that.
	That's one that the stain, no matter what, the accusation is just as good as a conviction.
	It's a very difficult accusation.
	A very difficult accusation.
	You fuck at Dr. Gage.
	Or maybe not.
	Are we done with this?
	Should we do a new call?
	Steve and the COVID-19 vaccine.
	You're on the line, sir.
	Hello?
	Hello, Steve.
	How you doing?
	Hello.
	Howdy, G-Dog.
	What's going on?
	Hey.
	So, I'm in a little predicament here, and I could use some advice.
	Let me guess.
	You raped a kid.
	What?
	You raped a kid and you got caught?
	Yeah, I just don't know what to do with the body.
	All right.
	Well, first we're going to have to get into chopping her up.
	Little pieces.
	So I'm a grad student, and my school has started this vaccine mandate, and I really don't want it.
	And, you know, I'm like a fourth year.
	I'm one year away from graduating with my PhD in chemistry.
	So it's not a bullshit degree.
	And I don't know.
	I really don't want it.
	But do I just have to go with the flow?
	Oh, I think you emailed us.
	You emailed us, didn't you?
	No, not.
	I don't know.
	No, no, I didn't email you about this.
	Oh, that's funny because this isn't the first time a baby monster has contacted us about this predicament.
	Because I do say get fired, get in trouble.
	Is there a way you could get away with a scam like a fake vax card?
	It's big trouble.
	Well, I have a friend that lives, so I'm in Nevada.
	She lives in the next town over.
	Her school said that if anyone was caught with a fake vax card, they would be charged with a felony, which I thought was ridiculous.
	But I mean, there is a religious exemption that I could possibly try and go through.
	But I mean, would that be the morally right thing to do?
	To join a church just to get out of the vaccine?
	Yes.
	Ryan, no one's asking you.
	You're too young to have morals.
	You're mentally 12.
	Breaking news, the Houston Health Department.
	Sorry.
	Well, I'm not going to advocate for fraud on this show and get myself arrested.
	But yeah, you've got a real problem here because you want to die.
	You want to stand by your own personal values, but you also want to go to this great school that could set you up for life.
	Most of the people I know are not very passionate anti-vaxxers like PJ over at the bar.
	He hates the vax.
	He loves Trump.
	And he just got the vax on day one because he's like, oh, just fucking get it.
	Stop wasting your fucking time.
	You're going to have to get it eventually.
	So I know that's what he would say for this.
	But I guess it's a personal decision.
	You have to decide whether you want to just say, fuck it.
	I'm going to get the vaccine.
	I need to get into this school.
	And this is bullshit.
	And I'm pissed off.
	Fuck it.
	This is something I feel strongly enough about to deny myself this school and I'll go to a less good school that won't have these dumb parameters.
	And then when I'm older, I'll be able to look back and go, I didn't fucking bend.
	When everyone was pussing out, I didn't bend.
	And then the third option is a hustle where you go, you pretend you're a religion or something like that.
	I will say that if one was to do the third option, I don't think you have to worry about the morality of that decision because we're in an immoral situation.
	Like it's morally wrong to get off the Titanic ahead of women and children because you say you're a priest or something.
	You know, you're fucking over those women and children.
	But when you're in a weird clown world where everyone is being forced to take a vaccine, they drew first blood.
	I don't think morality comes into play with all the various hustles.
	It is true.
	That's ridiculous.
	That's a really good point.
	Like today, New York State, the new governor, Hotchel, she mandated that all employees of the Department of Education, all schools, mandatory vaccinations.
	So when you got a fire teacher, yeah, today.
	So that's New York and the five boroughs?
	Yeah, the whole state.
	What, the whole state?
	The entire state.
	So my kids.
	No, no.
	The staff.
	Oh, the staff.
	Yeah.
	What a cunt.
	Yeah, she's been governor for what, a day?
	So, yeah, I can't advocate for anything illegal on this show, especially with the feds breathing down my neck.
	But you got a tough decision to make, my friend.
	Thanks for calling.
	Try online school.
	Yeah, DeVry, University of Phoenix.
	Yeah, I just found this about the thing, too.
	He was texting him, said, oh, I want to give you money to do push-ups in my office, and I want to take you out.
	And it was just kind of strange, my friend Jessica said.
	I know her.
	That could be a misconception.
	I don't know.
	That could be like, dude, I'll give you money for every route.
	What if he said it like this?
	Be like, hey, I want to take you out.
	I'll take you out to dinner.
	I'm going to coach you through this.
	You're like, you could do it, man.
	You got to do push-ups.
	I'll give you a dollar for every push-up you do.
	Really?
	It's inappropriate.
	I just met Maddie.
	I got his number for some other reason.
	And then I text him.
	I've met him twice.
	Hey, Maddie, great meeting you, man.
	I'd love to see you do push-ups in my office, and I'd love to take you out.
	I don't know if they just met.
	That's not buddies.
	I want to take you out.
	First of all, it's inappropriate between two people that just met, two men.
	But when it's a principal student, because the principal is the highest person in the school, he's like an authority figure over him.
	Yeah, that is true.
	And we don't have evidence he said that, by the way.
	This is some dumb quote.
	I know that we're texting that in an article.
	Exactly.
	I know, but we're not seeing the text message in a legal sense here.
	This is what someone said the text messages were, right?
	God, I hope I'm not defending a pedophile.
	It's worth researching, though, because allegations have been thrown around at people that we know that are completely innocent.
	But this was a time when that wasn't really so prevalent.
	And this is a bad one.
	Anyway.
	But I will say, say hypothetically that the text was, I want you to do push-ups in my office.
	I don't want to take you out.
	I'm sorry.
	Take you out means I want to go shopping with you.
	I want you to buy whatever you want.
	I will get you a supreme sweatshirt and a supreme fanny pack.
	But obviously, if I'm buying you shit and we're going to get burgers and stuff, I'm going to want to suck your dick at the hotel.
	Yep.
	That's just what words mean.
	Guys don't take other guys out.
	I want to take you shopping.
	I'll take you out for a week.
	I want to buy you things.
	703.
	This guy's a good guy, man.
	I'd like to fucking take you out, dude.
	Yeah.
	What do you mean?
	Have me killed?
	No, no, no.
	Like, take you shopping and shit.
	Like a bro.
	Like the way guys do.
	Fucking, you can buy, get some shit, get some shoes.
	You wear high-heel shoes?
	Hey, what kind of talking?
	Hey, how you doing, Carler?
	I want to take you out.
	Hey.
	Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
	Oh, You're paying.
	I'm playing, eh?
	Yeah.
	Get you a nice fucking cool Supreme fanny pack?
	Yeah, hey, I love a fanny pack.
	I'm a landscaper.
	It helps me when I'm away away from my truck and fuck.
	You know what I'm saying?
	Yeah.
	All right, hey, Real First.
	Yeah, yeah.
	This whole Afghanistan shit is on purpose.
	It's not the government.
	This is a rice value chariot.
	Shout out to Brazil and all those fuckbakes.
	Hey, follow the money, man.
	The banks make money off of all the conquest.
	Who do we pay our taxes to anyway?
	The banks.
	Okay, so anyway, Q, you were talking on Compound last night about Q. Q is a hit job.
	Like Giuliani had to take down the five families in New York.
	How long do you think it's going to take down to swamp?
	Trump, he was the plan.
	He came in there.
	That's why nobody likes him.
	Meanwhile, Gavin, you actually play with your hair more than Ryan does.
	I've always seen you put your hair, your fingernail in the back of your hair like you've got a wig.
	These people that you think are stupid in the government are just useful idiots.
	Are they retards?
	No.
	Their devil convinced the world that he didn't exist.
	So all these idiots, they're convincing the world that they're idiots if they convince you.
	So yeah, they're all fucking, you're the idiot if you think they're idiots because they're fucking up all of our lives and yours.
	And the Proud Boys have been completely disparaged.
	And that's the exact same thing that they're doing with Q. Q is a simple thing where you just go through.
	Q has never said anything about like fighting, everything.
	Q says God wins.
	Just always pray.
	Now.
	How do you get to hear from Q?
	How can I get on Q's radar?
	Well, okay.
	You can go to, well, okay.
	And we know, SCT Report, X22 Report, and they actually do journalistic.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Literally just and we.
	Oh, you want to go to Q proper.
	I want to see, like, I'm an outsider.
	I want to hear what Q has to say about something.
	Like Afghanistan.
	What did he say today?
	Sure, sure, sure.
	Okay, okay.
	Well, Q ended up at 8kun because of 4chan, 8chan, then they ended up at 8kun, right?
	8ku n whatever.
	8k.
	U-n dot com.
	It dot these nuts somewhere down in the deep web.
	But the idea is.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Take me to Q. Okay.
	8-Coon?
	I'm not getting anything.
	Yeah.
	How do you get your Q, research?
	How do you get your Q?
	K-U-N.
	So tell me personally, pretend I called you and said, I want to check out Q. What do you now tell me?
	Sure.
	Okay, look up the Great Awakening at Anne We Know and or the Praying Medic or, like I said, X22 report, SGT report.
	The Great Awakening.
	GreatAwakening.win.
	Is that it?
	The Great Awakening.
	When I typed that in, I got greatawakening.win.
	There is a cue here on the page.
	Wins of the day.
	What the fuck is new bags?
	All right, thanks for calling.
	I'm controlled by that one.
	Thanks for calling.
	Yeah, okay, but no, but he had that good crystal mess.
	See, you know what sucks about that?
	They're banned from all other things, so it sounds crazy because it's just the sparse remnants of whatever it used to be.
	And it sounds crazy.
	You got to go to fucking birdfart at dots.
	Yeah, but if you're a Q fan, you know the very, very, very latest thing.
	I think I get the point is that.
	He's talking about the dark web.
	8coon is the site you get it from, right?
	So you go to Q Research, so 8coon.top, which sounds so retarded that it immediately is like, all right, I don't want to go to that site.
	I just resent that so much of the left's criticism of the right involves Q. And I don't know anyone who, and I'm not pro-Q or anti-Q.
	I don't know anything about Q. So much of what they accuse us of involves Q, and like no one knows how to get there.
	Okay, 8koon.top.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Okay.
	A bunch of sh really, it looks like day one of the internet here.
	Literally.
	Yeah.
	Like when the government first made it, whenever that was, 1962.
	I'm not where you are, by the way.
	I'm at 8koon.top index.
	Okay, I'm at 8koon.top slash QResearch.
	So let me go to index.
	And now I'm like, Capitol Hill Republican step up, calls for Biden resignation, and then you click on that.
	But that's just a link to a news story that's like available to everyone.
	So I think what he's saying when he goes to the Great Awakening and stuff, these are channels that get cue from whatever retarded places they're going to be.
	See, I'm already bored.
	You know what it's like?
	It's like that app where they said, you just go to a bar.
	Oh, yeah, beer pals or beer pal?
	And beer pals.
	So Maddie and I are trying to set it up for each other, and about two-thirds of the way into like clicking beer, clicking the bar, clicking when you're there, and then the map.
	And we're just like, no, thanks.
	This is now way harder than me texting you.
	Just send me a text.
	Like, this is way harder than me looking up the news.
	Yeah.
	I'm actually like physically annoyed right now.
	I guess that's what you call a bad mood.
	That guy put me in a bad mood.
	Johnson.
	Do you think he was on meth?
	Yeah, hey, Johnson, how you doing?
	He was on Adderall or Meth.
	Hey, I am only 17, but I was curious about what modern-day men should feel when they get married about their wife changing their name.
	Because I feel like with the kids, the kids are going to have to have the man's last name.
	That's probably a hill to die on.
	It's a hill to die on, my friend.
	It's a big deal.
	Has the same last name as kids.
	It's a big fucking deal.
	And the fact that she keeps her name is such a retarded little, I don't know, show of force where, you know, she's Hammond, you're Smith, and you're like, okay, I guess she's Hammond Smith and I'm Smith.
	Like, shouldn't you both be Hammond Smith?
	And then the kids, okay, so the kids are Hammond Smith.
	All right, I made my little, my little fucking line in the sand.
	Now the kids are Hammond Smith.
	Now some other dumb cunt down the street has done the same thing, McAllister Lemieux.
	Now they get married.
	Now someone is named Arnold Hammond Smith McCallan Lemieux.
	So in just one generation, we have a shit show.
	It's just so fucking illogical and it's so myopic and it's so selfish and it's such a short-term little flex.
	You know?
	So you just explained to her that if we lived in a world that stupid, that in one generation, kids would have four last names.
	So no, we're not doing that.
	You're taking my last name, even if my last name is Kweef.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Plus, it kind of, if she doesn't want to do it, it's kind of like she's half-heartedly committed to the relationship.
	Yeah.
	It's kind of like a prenup.
	Well, I don't want to know.
	If it doesn't work out, I'll have to change my name again.
	I don't believe in prenups.
	You're not committing to the marriage.
	This is the deal.
	We're going all in.
	We're going over the hill in World War I. The vows say it all.
	We've got to do it.
	And I'm taking your last name because I'm continuing the lineage of this particular family.
	Like, I don't understand what she thinks is going to happen.
	So it's Hammond Smith.
	The kids are named Hammond Smith.
	Are you somehow now doing this male thing where you're continuing the lineage of the Hammonds?
	You're not.
	Because she's going to take...
	What if she takes her husband's last name?
	Your daughter, I mean.
	Now you just erase that dumb gesture you made for one generation.
	Fucking so stupid.
	I heard in Egypt, that's what they do.
	So when you fill out an application, your name has 37 last names.
	It's like that in Mexico, too.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that rings a bell.
	Yeah, we talked about it a couple weeks ago.
	They have like 13 last names.
	They take like the father, the mother's maiden name, the fucking grandmother's maiden name.
	It's a sign of a shit society, really.
	I think that was your reaction.
	You said they're not different from us.
	They just are worse.
	Well, yeah, we've had this conversation before.
	But this Omar Rodriguez-Lopez.
	Ryan Catsu Rivera.
	Wait, that guy's name is Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Wikipedia?
	Yeah.
	That's an idiotic.
	That's a terrible name.
	Oh, that's the guy from that band where they jump around like monkeys.
	Mars Volta.
	Mars Volta, yeah.
	Yeah, I guess he married the founder of this internet site.
	Huh.
	You see, now what are their kids going to be named?
	Omar Rodriguez-Lopez Wikipedia.
	Lopez-Lopez?
	I have a doctor.
	Why did you take my joke and just add Lopez's to it?
	I don't know.
	Okay, last call.
	Last call for alcohol.
	You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
	You could have an aneurysm on a toilet.
	You never know.
	Okay, we have Carrie on the line.
	Carrie.
	Hello, Carrie.
	Maybe it's not Carrie.
	904?
	Hey, 904.
	Am I on?
	You're on.
	Okay, beautiful.
	All right, so a few months ago, Gavin, I don't know if you remember this, you told a, I think a caller called in talking about night terrors.
	And you told the story about how when you drink too much, you wake up.
	And you remember something about like something about your grandmother.
	I don't know.
	But I remember it not being, thinking that maybe it was a little bit melodramatic.
	So I heard your story about night terrors and I'll raise you a story about night terrors.
	Hold on, hold on.
	Night airs?
	Night terrors.
	Oh, night terror.
	Like when you drink too much.
	Yeah, every night.
	Stars.
	Stars.
	Exactly.
	So when I was 12, I was like driving around in the car with my dad doing some errands.
	And I don't know why I knew this, but he mentioned that he was having some chest pain.
	And I knew that that was a symptom for heart attacks.
	And I thought, man, maybe I should say something.
	But then I decided not to because I didn't want to insult him or be rude or anything.
	And then a few months later, he had a massive heart attack, died, and widowed my mother and left me and my six siblings without a father.
	So.
	How old were you?
	When I drink, I was 12.
	Holy shit.
	So when you wake up at four in the morning, you're like, did I kill my dad?
	Exactly.
	Yeah, that's a rough one, dude.
	But there's no way a grown man doesn't have a heart pain and it doesn't occur to him that he may have a heart problem.
	Right.
	Yeah.
	So I think you can flush that one down the toilet.
	And I think you'll notice with night terrors too, you'll go, holy shit, like I betrayed my grandmother.
	I let my dad die.
	I almost killed my son when I didn't have the safety on the rifle.
	And then you wake up and you like brush your teeth and have a coffee and you're like, what the fuck?
	No, I did have the safety on.
	And grown men know that a heart pain could be heart trouble.
	Yeah, of course, of course.
	But that's fucking funny.
	I mean, your mind plays real tricks on you, you know?
	Yeah.
	All right, buddy.
	Thanks for calling.
	Don't beat yourself up.
	You didn't kill your dad.
	And with that, we are going to end the show.
	Tomorrow's a special episode.
	I sit exactly where Maddie's sitting, and we talk to a Afghan war vet, meaning a vet from the Afghan war, not an Afghani.
	Dude, look up the history of Afghanistan, the various wars there.
	I feel like I could be locked in a prison for two years with books on Afghanistan, and I would not be able to summarize the wars that have gone on there in the past, well, from the beginning of Afghanistan till now.
	Like three years ago, it is the most war-torn and historically complex place in the world.
	Well, back in the 80s, they were, what, in war with Russia for 10 years?
	That's nothing.
	Alexander the Great, nothing.
	That was one little blip.
	Like, they've had it.
	Look it up.
	Just look up like history of Afghanistan.
	No, no, no.
	Videos.
	War.
	That'll do too.
	Like, these groups you haven't heard of, the Cincerians and the Lazarians and the...
	Cincerians?
	There's Sikhs and fucking Hindus.
	They were Buddhists for a while.
	The Muslims.
	The only people who were, the Mongols ruled it.
	I mean, the only people that were successful were the ones that just swept through and killed every single person.
	But they wouldn't be successful for long.
	And then we come along, and I don't know.
	I think our biggest fear was that Russia would have a stronghold if we let them establish themselves there.
	But Russia failed.
	So let's let everyone fail.
	Yeah.
	Is that it?
	Yeah, I think that's what I watched.
	Afghanistan, a nation of 37 million people.
	This guy says Iran when he says Iran.
	And Pakistan.
	But like, scroll through that.
	You wouldn't fucking believe the history of this place.
	Look at this shit.
	Alexander was nothing.
	Then, of course, there's a Seleucid Empire.
	Then there's a per- Like look at this.
	Yeah.
	Is it kind of like an oasis in an otherwise?
	There's nothing there.
	It's mountains.
	It's an important thoroughfare.
	Okay, gotcha.
	Yeah, you don't want to live there.
	An oasis.
	The Hindu Kush and all that.
	Look at that.
	We're up 1823.
	It's still a fucking war zone.
	That's a great video, by the way.
	And he only makes it up to like 2014 or something, or maybe 2004.
	I mean, Afghanistan in the past 36 hours is a whole fucking video.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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