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Aug. 20, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:17:33

GOML LIVE #111: WHY YOU WANNA BE MIDDLE CLASS?

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Time	Text
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon.
	She's got nowhere to go She's got nowhere to be She's got aware What'd you think of that band?
	Kind of trippy?
	Pretty good, huh?
	plane was a bus and you can ride on the side but you can't fly it's got a bit of mitch hedberg to them it does i was about to say like we don't lose your baggage we lose you you are falling from the sky uh bubba and hanks Is our sponsor today.
	We're devoting the whole show to them.
	Bubba's in a bad way, I believe.
	Yeah.
	And it's sad.
	I think it's cancer, right?
	Yeah.
	Terrible.
	Great sponsor has been with us for years, Bubba and Hanks.
	Obviously, Hanks will continue making fantastic stakes.
	Let's pull those up.
	Now I'm using his death as a way to make money for myself.
	If you use the promo code Gavin, you get 20% off.
	I'm a big fan of all their beef.
	Oh, yeah.
	You finished off a whole pack recently.
	Let me tell you something.
	I had the asabucco the other day.
	Wait, stop.
	Let's rate them from your favorite to down.
	Because you had everything, right?
	Did you have the burgers?
	I've had the burgers, the pre-made patties.
	Phenomenal.
	Great.
	My kids inhale those.
	When you go on the website, you realize that it's waigu beef.
	And waigu beef are these special breeds of cows that have like great marbling and fat within the meat that classifies them as waigu.
	And they're so...
	The flavor is the fat with the marbling within the meat.
	Oh, it's delicious.
	I've had the burgers.
	I've had the chopped meat.
	I've had the eye-round steaks.
	I've had the asabuko.
	And let me tell you something.
	Every cut was phenomenal.
	I did asabuko the other day.
	It's because asabuco is like the foreshank of the front legs.
	So it's, you know, it's got some tendons and stuff like that.
	So you braise it, cook it in a liquid for like three or four hours.
	Oh my God.
	Three or four hours?
	Yeah, yeah.
	And what's the liquid?
	The liquid is, I mean, I use beef broth, a little bit of water.
	This is in a frying pan.
	No, no, like in like a pot.
	I use a Dutch oven.
	I have a ceramic-coated Dutch oven at my house, so.
	Okay.
	But yeah.
	Oh, for braising?
	It's about like short ribs or anything like that?
	Oh.
	Three hours.
	Yeah.
	And then do you do something like to scorch the outside?
	You know how I like the outside burnt.
	What you do is you take a little, I take a little flour.
	I flour the outside of it.
	I put it in a frying pan.
	I skill it.
	After you've done this three hours for the before, prior to.
	Okay.
	I just put a little flour, coated the outside, and I brown the outside.
	Like you seared the outside.
	So when you put it in the liquid, all the juices stay inside.
	Oh, it was beautiful.
	That sounds fantastic.
	Beautiful.
	Now, you have a roommate named Cocaine, is that correct?
	Yayo.
	Did you share it with him?
	Of course.
	If it's in the house, it's for both of us.
	He's been using the same Teflon pan for so long.
	The Teflon's gone.
	Yeah.
	The Teflon, it's just a silver pan now.
	It's no longer a non-stick.
	Which means he ate all the Teflon that was on the pan.
	I don't eat out of his pan.
	He's an animal.
	Cocaine is an animal.
	So yeah, Bubba and Hank's delicious.
	Promo code Gavin.
	Our heart goes out to Bubba.
	God bless him.
	I mean, are we giving up hope?
	Are we saying, like, say a prayer for Bubba?
	Never give up hope.
	Always give up.
	Never give up.
	My father passed a throat cancer in 91, so I can understand his plight.
	You know how many times people, the doctors say, oh, you know, they gave this guy this long to live and then they just blow past that?
	Yeah, let's just pray.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Let's pray for Bubba, of Bubba and Hanks.
	Pray for him to have peace.
	Pray for him to get through this or if he's not going to get through it, to endure it with as much fortitude and strength as possible.
	Let's take a moment for Bubba.
	Go peacefully.
	I got to say, I don't want to brag, but I don't pray to God for bullshit like the Mets.
	And when I do pray for something, it's usually a big one.
	Like Steven Crowder I prayed for.
	Phenomenal recovery.
	Twins, beautiful twins.
	Beautiful twins.
	Everything's going great with him.
	Pay Stickman was looking at like 20 years for some bullshit charge.
	I prayed for him.
	He's good to go.
	I don't know, Bubba.
	They use it sparingly.
	It's like when your mother says fuck.
	Not your mother.
	Jesus.
	She never didn't say fuck.
	But when your mother, my mother says fuck about once a month, once every two months, and it's sort of, you go, whoa, this is a biggie.
	I've noticed that with parenting, too.
	If you only swear at kids when you're really mad and they hear, I'm sick of your fucking shit.
	They go, he's really sick of my fucking shit because he said fucking shit.
	And it's all over the tone, too.
	It's all what?
	With the tone.
	Yeah.
	The delivery of it.
	Like, my mother used to say, fuck off all the time.
	She'd be like, oh, fuck off.
	And it was like dismissive.
	Yeah.
	It wasn't like, for fuck's sake, son.
	Oh, for fuck's sake.
	Yeah, when you get that, you're in trouble.
	Trouble.
	Yeah, my dad would do this like, fucking.
	And if it was a fucking, I knew someone was going to die tonight.
	Like, if I got called by my full name, Matthew.
	If you ever hear your middle name for your parents.
	Oh, to my credit, I don't have a middle name.
	Oh, really?
	No.
	It's Matthew Odell.
	Matthew Big Monster Odell?
	No, no, baby monster.
	I have a confirmation name, which is Jude, but Jude.
	It was kind of funny.
	When I was young, my mother's father's name was Alan.
	On my birth certificate, it just says Matthew Odell.
	On my social security card for years, you just say Matthew Allen O'Dell.
	Oh.
	You know what it says on my Social Security card?
	Gavin doesn't care about Matthew's middle name.
	Oh, shit.
	Oh!
	Catsu.
	Do you have a middle name?
	Me?
	Yeah.
	It's fucking Katsu.
	Yeah.
	Oh, I thought you just stuck that in your name because everyone thought you were a Spic.
	Well, no, they still think I'm a Spic.
	Well, that would be fun.
	Do you have a middle name?
	Yeah, Miles.
	Oh.
	Gavin Miles McInnes.
	GMM.
	G-Double M. It's not a very sexy acronym, GMM.
	My wife doesn't have a middle name, and I contend that if you don't have a middle name, your parents don't love you enough.
	Yeah.
	I'm an Unloved child.
	You're an unloved child.
	Why do Puerto Ricans use their middle names more than any other people?
	Luis J. Gomez, fucking Ryan Catsu Rivera or Alexandria Jolque de Cortez.
	Maybe they want to sound fancy.
	Maybe Puerto Ricans are insecure about the fact that they're all on welfare and they want to sound like they're Spaniards.
	Yeah.
	Your middle name is.
	Let me tell you something.
	The most crazy names are the Mexicans.
	Oh, yeah.
	When I was away in the federal system, they used to have like six names.
	Yes.
	And it was all hyphenated.
	They had like their mother's maiden name, their father's name, their grandmother's maiden name, their grandfather's name.
	Yeah.
	Oh, it was insane.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Call me old-fashioned.
	That's stupid.
	Yeah.
	I agree.
	Like, this is what I keep trying to get across to people about culture.
	They're not different than us.
	They're worse.
	Yeah.
	Like, Swedes are different than us.
	They have their little sardine sandwiches or whatever.
	I get that that's different, but equal.
	But the Middle East is not equal.
	I saw this video.
	We'll talk about it next time we do real news.
	But it was like trying to get the Afghan army to stop smoking hash or to wear their helmets facing the right way.
	Like they're monkeys.
	You can make monkeys hold a gun for a photo op.
	The biggest joke is make them do jumping jacks.
	That to me was an epiphany.
	Dude, I saw that video.
	That jumping jack video is from like 10 years ago.
	2004.
	Yeah, it's a long time ago.
	It's old as shit.
	They're horrible.
	And not only are they retarded, but they're stoned.
	So you give someone with Down syndrome hash.
	That's not even the one, but that'll do.
	Or it's probably a different angle, the same one.
	Look at that.
	Irreparable.
	Yeah.
	Untrainable.
	How the fuck can you not do a jumping jack?
	No one taught me how to do jumping jacks.
	Yeah, I don't remember learning that.
	I didn't take a night course in jumping jacks.
	I didn't take a night course in not hanging on to a plane.
	There you go.
	I didn't read a brochure that said it's freezing cold six miles above the earth.
	The winds in it?
	And 500 miles an hour is a hell of a wind.
	I want to see them jump rope.
	Because it's not the easiest thing.
	I want to see them do that thing with red solo cups where they go pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and then pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and sing a song again.
	I saw a kid do like four different iterations of it in five seconds.
	It was some sort of world champion.
	He made like a pyramid, a thingamadoodle, then broke them all down, then made him again.
	And he was like, bang, five seconds.
	I don't think one person in the Middle East could do that.
	No.
	I don't think...
	They could drink out of the cup.
	How's this for an incredibly xenophobic, horrible thing to say that I should go to hell for and be in the SPLC's hate group?
	I don't think one person in the Middle East could do that.
	Was that five seconds?
	And he got a boner, right?
	That was five seconds.
	Oh, that was a different guy.
	The Rubik's Cube guy, the top Rubik's Cube guy.
	We saw this documentary, and he had such severe autism that when he broke the world record, he got a boner.
	Nice.
	But go back to that one.
	What did he do there?
	That was five seconds.
	Let's see what he did.
	So I take a bunch of cups.
	I do three thowers, two towers, one big tower, and then put them back together again.
	There's a word in Afghani for this called magic.
	You could rule the Taliban.
	You know what we should do?
	Instead of sending troops there, just send like Chris Angel and David Copperfield, some corny street musicians, David Blaine.
	And he'd be like, oh, look, and say, Muhammad has told me to stop cutting out women's eyes.
	Dude, why are we?
	Okay, no problem.
	Stop fucking kids.
	By the way, I said the other day.
	I'm just money and just...
	Yeah, just that.
	Our entire military budget should be magic.
	Those coins that you bite and then you flick it and it goes back again.
	Where did your finger go?
	What is going on?
	I got some criticism the other day because I said the Taliban fucks kids and they go, no, that's the Baki Baza or whatever.
	No, they all fuck kids and they all fuck each other.
	Women are human garbage to them.
	They're breeding machines.
	They kill them, feed them the dogs.
	Manna just sent me a picture of a woman who had her eyes cut out for God knows what, farting on a Thursday.
	Under the her father was in the Taliban and told on her that she was working for the Afghan police.
	And they shot her eight times, stabbed her, and took her eyes out of her skull with a knife and left her for dead.
	So what you're pulling up there is, yes, our allies fuck boys, but they all fuck boys and each other and goats.
	That's just the way it is over there.
	And that sounds very, like, I hear that coming out of my mouth and I go, wow, that's a horrible thing to say.
	What a racist thing to say.
	It's just a fact.
	Talking to the internet.
	Fets who were there.
	Well, here's the sad part.
	Like one sniper, I don't want to say it was Chris College or anything, but a pretty well-known sniper in Afghan, he's watching there, looking through his scope, and these guys would come in and rape these children every night, and they're not allowed to engage.
	They're not allowed to stop them.
	Oh, right.
	It got to the point where one point, one guy came in and ripped all the kids' teeth out with pliers.
	So when he sodomized them, he wouldn't have any teeth.
	Well, sodomizes the butthole.
	When he face rapes.
	Would he pull the teeth out of their ass?
	No, out of their mouth.
	Right.
	So that's face fucking.
	I think sodomy is also oral copulation.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	See what's going on when we get involved in these other cultures?
	You have to learn sodomy.
	I got a message after I said a couple of those things about what was happening at Westchester County Airport about the people, and they said it was all children.
	They said majority of the children had blown out nasal passages and bruised eyes, which is also from forcible sodomy.
	What the?
	What?
	They fucked them in the eyes?
	They're fucking their face.
	Sheesh.
	Yeah.
	But why does that hurt your eyes?
	You know, after a repetitive...
	Oh, you're gagging and stuff, and your sinuses are blowing out.
	Disgusting.
	The scars are different.
	They're just different.
	That's from the southern border.
	It's like the U.K. general said.
	They're just country boys.
	They're country boys.
	And by the way, I don't think we're going to have any more problems from them because the U.S. Ambassador sent them a strongly worded letter.
	Oh, the guy who left the embassy.
	No, she's a black woman.
	And she's our U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations.
	Oh, to the United Nations.
	And she sat down.
	All right, Buster Brown.
	You may think you're a hot tamale today, but you had better watch yourself and treat not just women, but trans women of color with respect.
	Or I don't even know.
	There's no better video to emphasize how laughable that is than the one you played when you first came back from Costa Rica about the Taliban laughing at the reporter.
	That's perfect.
	And it's, I like it because you don't have to see any children being raped in it.
	There's no women having their eyes gouged out, which is also a very effective way to explain who they are.
	But yeah, that just sums it up.
	Like, you know, there's a Harry and Paul sketch.
	Ah, fuck it.
	It's too involved.
	All right, so the Thursday live show, we usually have so many sponsors that we don't like to cover too much news.
	But today we've devoted everything to Bubba and Hanks in honor of Bubba.
	You know what happened to Bubba and Hanks once?
	Some super rich guy who listens to the show heard that they were sponsoring the show.
	He thought, that's cool.
	He got in his plane from, I don't know, Houston, Dallas, Dallas, Houston, flew down to their farm in his plane, this little like one prop thing, and said, hi, I heard about you on Gavin's show.
	What a great farm.
	And he walked around the farm.
	Beautiful.
	It's funny because when you read about me or the show or anyone involved, you go, holy shit, these are all satanic racists who run the KKK and kill black babies for sport.
	But when I was in the city yesterday doing Kumia's show, I get out of my car.
	By the way, this pet peeve of mine, a lot of Manhattanites go, you don't have to pay for parking, dude.
	Just go to Hell's Kitchen, 9th Street, 30th.
	Just park there.
	It's bullshit.
	There is no fucking parking in New York.
	And every person who lives there goes, what are you talking about?
	They never have a car, by the way.
	No.
	They go, there's parking everywhere.
	And then they'll show you a picture of a spot.
	It's usually like 9 p.m.
	Yeah, there's a couple spots at 9 p.m.
	But as far as normal times, it's no standing allowed and it's commercial vehicles only.
	Now, luckily, I have enough cop paraphernalia to open a small cop store.
	So I just litter the dash with mini badges and policeman's cards and shit.
	And you park near the police station on a 36th and 9th, and you might get away with it.
	But anyway, and maybe it's because that was a cop area.
	I parked there, and I'm walking towards the studio.
	It's a couple blocks.
	Some guy yells, hey, Gavin, how you doing?
	Big fan, what are you doing these days?
	By the way, if you're a big fan, you should probably know about this network.
	And you're a baby monster, not a big fan.
	Pose for a selfie, walk another few feet, some guy's in a car, old guy, white hair, Gavin, how you doing?
	It was like the Truman Show.
	Nice.
	And then on the way, and then on the way back, some guy goes, I'm listening to you right now.
	So that was three people in the span of two blocks there and back.
	So four blocks, I guess.
	But the reason I bring that up is not just to talk about my favorite subject, which is me, but to say that these evil monsters that you hear about are perceived as evil monsters at Huffington Post and fucking CNN and MSNBC.
	But in the real world, it's like, how you doing, buddy?
	Because no one trusts the media anymore.
	So when someone Googles badly, like Project Veritas, you look them up.
	They edit videos misleadingly.
	They are deceptive.
	They're corrupt.
	No one thinks that but Wikipedia and their competitors in the media.
	People on the street go, oh yeah, Project Veritas, they're great.
	They blew up this story, that story.
	Anyway, I got 5% left.
	Why don't you...
	I couldn't agree with more than...
	I couldn't agree more with what they both said.
	There's something good.
	Have you seen this guy?
	So, you know, if you want some hope for COVID, some COVID hope.
	Here, cut to you and I'm going to get my computer charger.
	You want some COVID hope out there?
	If you go to the Board of Supervisors meetings on YouTube.
	Oh, look.
	It's a six-hour thing of people.
	No, people that are over the whole COVID and vaccine crap.
	Yeah.
	So this is good.
	It's like parents, people from the community.
	Yeah.
	I've had COVID.
	I think I have too.
	I've been vaccinated.
	No, I was in the hospital for 10 days.
	Oh, really?
	With COVID?
	Yeah.
	Back in January.
	I got a January 2nd, 10 days in the hospital because of my underlying heart condition and diabetes.
	Yeah, that's worth making clear, Maddie.
	You have the immune system of a dead person.
	Yeah, I have all the trifecta of, I have heart failure, I have diabetes, I have asthma.
	So lung failure.
	And at the time, I was a little, I'm still obese, according to my doctors.
	Like, I'm 206 pounds right now.
	I dropped 30 pounds.
	Nice, congrats.
	Anyway, so I had them.
	So they said, we're going to keep you in the hospital for the 10 days until your incubation period is up.
	All that.
	Whatever, okay.
	Basically, I was pretty much asymptomatic, didn't have any treatments, just they were treating me for, you know, give me oxygen, keep me on my regular medication and everything.
	Then I say to the doctors, I said, well, do I have to get the vaccine or what's up?
	They're like, well, you have to wait 90 days from the time of your release to get the vaccine.
	So I get the vaccine like March 29th because I had to wait 90 days.
	I get the Pfizer, one shot, which is, and I go back for three weeks.
	You get the second shot.
	If you're in Moderna, you got to wait four weeks to get the second shot.
	So I get the second shot, boom.
	So now I'm fully vaccinated.
	And you've had it.
	And I've had COVID.
	I've been in the hospitalized with COVID.
	So even though I've been vaccinated, I've had COVID, I'm still a potential super spreader, I can get COVID again, and I should wear a mask.
	So why did I take a vaccine?
	Are you logged into that key to the city thing?
	Oh, yeah.
	I have a...
	Here, I'll pull it up on my.
	I have my.
	Is it like a big barcode, Doohickey?
	Yeah, I got it right here.
	I'll pull it up and put it by the camera there.
	I have a.
	Is there any information on there you would want?
	He thought of that, Ryan.
	Thank you.
	Okay.
	Frankly, just making sure.
	It doesn't have autofocus.
	Hopefully we get it.
	So what if I took a screen grab of that?
	What if someone took a screen grab of that and put it on their phone and held it up when they go to a restaurant in New York?
	Apparently it's illegal, but I don't know why.
	Because it's not an official document.
	Well, it's fraud.
	But does it, it would say Maddie O'Dell on it, right?
	Of course.
	Yeah.
	So would they ask to see my driver's license with it?
	I bet they wouldn't.
	No, of course not.
	Hold on.
	Maybe you could see better from this.
	I bet New Yorkers.
	Click on me?
	I bet New Yorkers could get away with just someone taking a screen grab of that.
	That's the Excelsior Pass.
	And then when you tap on it, it goes to a huge...
	You can't really see it.
	Oh, they might tap on it.
	It's like the Metro North.
	Yeah, it's got a tickets.
	There's a giant QR code right here.
	You can't really see it on the.
	Oh, hold on.
	No, it's just the one.
	Yeah, it's just plain.
	But there's a QR code there.
	And it tells me it expires in 2022.
	2022?
	Yep.
	It's only good for one year.
	That's in the fucking panel.
	No, that's an active month.
	Active passes.
	September, October, November, December.
	That's in four months.
	No, it's April 19th, 2022.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah, the day I got my last shot.
	But now that I got an email because of my, I'm on the heart transplant list.
	I got an email the other day, same as our liberal bartender Jimmy.
	He got one because he has autoimmune disease saying that he should come and get the third booster shot.
	Third?
	Third booster shot.
	Him and I both got tertiary.
	Yes.
	Third chance.
	Third booster shot.
	And why is this going to work any better than the two that I already taken?
	Well, that's just it.
	As everyone keeps saying, they're just going to keep going.
	I just want to know when does a novel virus, like the novel coronavirus, become not novel?
	Like, when is it, okay, it's here to stay and we're just going to deal with it like the flu?
	Yeah.
	If you're going to die, you're going to be able to do it.
	How long can you beat a dead horse?
	Oh, like imagine there's a nuclear war and we're all in the bunker for a year and then you start going, you know what?
	I'm going to go outside.
	I'm going to show you how to get out of here.
	I know there's dead cows everywhere.
	I'll be the victim.
	Yeah, it's really hard to see the sun because there's so much ash.
	I'm kind of done with this fucking bunker now.
	Like, at what point do we say, okay, mask didn't work the first time?
	I've already fucked all of you twice.
	We're going back.
	And half of you are dudes.
	Yeah.
	One of you is my dad.
	So I've had enough.
	I need some variety.
	I'm going to go fuck a dead cow outside the bunker.
	I think that's the Scottish thing.
	Fucking your dad?
	No, dead cow.
	No.
	So the impatience part.
	As one does.
	So anyway, so there was this, everybody's pissed in San Diego.
	You would think California, they're not, you know, they're all woke and pissed.
	Even the dude from POD's dad?
	Yeah, no, I was going to say that it's a shame that Copper Cab is deciding to do content outside of censored TV.
	But this is pretty powerful stuff.
	And they should be putting a tingle up the spine of your back.
	And they should be begging you to do the right thing.
	You're about to open a pit of hell.
	You do not get a vaccine passport put on us.
	You know, as the population who's in control, you know that the people are the politicians.
	Once you get a power, you will never relinquish it.
	Do you think that the four feet of marble that holds you above, high in this chamber, will help you from the fate of humanity, which you are unleashing?
	If not, your children and your children's children will be suffocated.
	They will be asked, how many vaccines have you had?
	Have you been a good little naughty?
	Hey, oh puzzle, hey, oh puppy, hey, little puppy, hey, little puppy, little nutty.
	Yes, you doctor what you are in violation of the number of code, which is international law and the definition is.
	Your time is expired.
	Was he saying L Fauci?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Mocking.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes.
	I understand.
	Right.
	That's not copper cab, is it?
	No.
	Please take a seat.
	That's blonde cab.
	It's pretty funny because I have a relative that looks almost identical.
	That looks like a white Boston Mike from DMS who died deer hunter style playing Russian roulette.
	Oh, yeah.
	Wow.
	I don't...
	Look, this is my personal opinion.
	That shit means nothing to me.
	That's not activism.
	That's just, they give you room.
	I have these friends who they've noticed their kids are real ornery and pissy when they take them away from video games.
	So the mother has like a decompression room where she goes, get off your shit, get off your iPad, get off your everything.
	And then as the kids being a suck, she goes, go into that room and wait 15 minutes.
	And that's their decompression Chamber.
	And I tried it.
	It's a good move to do because you're taking crack away from a crackhead and they need time to sort of recalibrate.
	And I told the husband after the wife told me that, I go, I really like your wife's tips.
	And he goes, What the fuck did you just say to me?
	And I go, your wife's tips.
	They're amazing.
	Your wife's tips or tips.
	He goes, how do you know anything about my wife's tits?
	And I was like, I've never looked at your wife's tits.
	As a rule, when I talk to any man's wife that's a friend of mine, my eyes stop at the shoulders.
	I talk to women like this.
	Hi, what's going on?
	I actually purposely don't even know their names.
	People see that as sexist.
	No.
	But it's actually respectful.
	It's respectful to not look at your friend's wife or girlfriend or not know her name.
	It's like, I heard her tips.
	You listened to my wife's tips?
	I just tip fucked your wife.
	She had some great ideas for kids.
	Anyway, so that's what that is.
	It's a timeout room.
	We're going to let you go to a town hall and you can yell with your dreads and say your little speech that you wrote on your phone.
	And we go, oh no, you totally hurt my feelings.
	And then they go back and they keep oppressing us.
	The way you fight back is to break the law.
	It's like Lenore Skenazzi in her book, Free Range Kids.
	She goes, it's illegal for a five-year-old and a six-year-old to go to the park alone.
	Send them to the park alone.
	They can't arrest us all.
	If everyone sends their five and six-year-olds to the park alone without parental supervision, then what?
	The jails fill up with kids?
	That's why I say get fired, get in trouble at the end of every show.
	That's the only way to do it.
	Send your kid to school and say, my kid's not wearing a mask.
	That's a lot more effective than, you, hail, Vauci, hail, Vauci.
	You should be ashamed of yourself.
	Ooh.
	You know, my buddy Dean, who I hang out with, you met, you know, when I hang out the other day, his kid, he lives in Greenwich, Connecticut.
	So now Connecticut schools have deemed that kids have to wear masks going back to this current school year.
	That didn't sit well for about half of the residents of Greenwich.
	And now they have to join the Greenwich Patriots.
	Damn.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Believe it or not.
	So Greenwich is pretty left, though, generally, isn't it?
	But there.
	It's a weird...
	Well, it's obviously a weird.
	Connecticut's a weird state.
	Yeah.
	Because there's like New Canaan where Ann Coulter's from.
	Correct.
	There's a lot of old money.
	There's a lot of influence.
	There's a lot of...
	A lot of old Republican money.
	Yes.
	Yes.
	You know what?
	But there's also a lot of rich young liberals.
	New money.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I don't think they outweigh the old money.
	I think it makes sense that the super liberal places, they have.
	The Greenwich.
	What the hell did you say?
	Patriots.
	Patriots.
	Patriots.
	I'm sorry.
	Got a brain fart there.
	The Greenwich Patriots to challenge the schools.
	Wow.
	Yeah, I have a seat.
	It's like Antifa says, that's my source for everything.
	Talk is cheap.
	Direct action is all that matters.
	Non-compliance.
	Non-compliance.
	Send all your kids with no masks.
	What are they going to do?
	Shut the whole school down?
	Oh, you're against the COVID mandates?
	All right.
	You better not scream into a pillow in your bedroom about how much you hate them.
	That would really hurt me.
	Oh, yeah?
	Watch this.
	Oh, no.
	Like, those fucking dumb things where they have Mark Zuckerberg in Congress and Ted Cruz is like, can you locate?
	Can someone locate where you are on Facebook?
	And he's like, I don't know, sir.
	We are still looking into that.
	Ooh, you grilly-grilled fucking Jack Dorsey.
	I'm so scared.
	Non-compliance is the way to go.
	Yes.
	My opinion.
	Well, this is a good example of that.
	Let's see here.
	What would you fucking do?
	Oh, I have a lot of trouble looking at this.
	What would you do?
	I can't handle fucking children in duress.
	I haven't seen this.
	Really?
	It's good.
	I don't know if I can watch it again.
	I had to watch it through your eyes, squinty eyes.
	Australia's out of fucking control, man.
	Wait a minute.
	Is this the autistic child that had to get on the plane?
	They had a medical note not to get tested?
	No, this is a totally different.
	I know what you're saying.
	I think this is an involuntary vaccine.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	Look at this shit.
	What would you do?
	I mean, you'd have to like...
	Oh, I'd go to the children's vaccine.
	Well, I'd go to jail, but I don't know if I can overpower three guys.
	Oh, I'm going to try my darnest.
	Yeah.
	I might knock one out.
	That's my last swings and my last dying breath.
	I'm going to bite their fucking faces.
	My kids aren't going to have a dad.
	I think it was a couple of days ago.
	There was an autistic child that had a note from his doctor that said, you can't try to stick anything up his nose because he's going to go batching.
	You know, he's on a spectrum.
	He's autistic.
	And the fucking, oof.
	All hell broke loose.
	And then they issued an apology for traumatizing the kid.
	What do you, at what point does this get, like, are you fucking kidding me?
	You know, when the Brits invaded South Africa, they were losing against the Boers, and so they started killing the women and children, and then they won.
	They did the exact same thing to the Americans in 1776, and they made the Americans so mad that they lost.
	But it's a tried and tested, dirty pool way to destroy a civilization, and right now they are attacking our children to try to break us.
	And it's going to start a fucking civil war.
	CRT, this kind of shit here.
	I mean, you attack a man's kids, he either buckles and cries and is just a broken man, or he turns in to Braveheart.
	Like, look at that.
	Australian police pepper spray a child for not wearing a mask.
	It's bizarre what's going on in Australia.
	And by the way, that cop is not wearing a mask.
	Help is coming.
	All right, let's stop giving away free content.
	Australia's bananas.
	We're going to get to the mailbag and then we're going to take some calls.
	You're going to miss out on this because you're too cheap to pay your bills.
	Oh my God, guess what?
	The first letter we have is called Smokeshow, Liberation, Talibrown, Pronouns, and Kabul Skydiving.
	Very involved title.
	But it involves a woman with the best hits I've ever seen, and I'm half a century old.
	You're missing out on that, sir.
	Yeah.
	So go to censor.tv, sign up.
	It's $10 a month.
	It's a fantastic investment.
	It's non-stop entertainment every single day.
	Even when I'm away for three weeks, we're still bombarding you with entertainment.
	Now that I'm back from my vacation, I'm going to start doing the sit-down interviews here in the studio.
	I'm going to have War Vets, our buddy Bill, who was in Guam, got a purple heart.
	Was it a grenadier?
	He's got a grenade.
	He got a purple heart because he sprained his ankle playing softball while his buddies were dying fighting the Cubans.
	We'll get Tommy Ranger, who was in Afghanistan for many years, killed jihadist, see how he feels about the pull-out.
	And then guess who I got?
	I got fucking Nikki Klein from that sex cult.
	We're going to sit her down in the fancy studio.
	And her contention is the FBI placed kitty porn on his computer.
	She also says this is not a hunch.
	She has evidence, forensic evidence, that it's going to free him.
	Is that the one with the brand?
	They all have brands.
	They have the brand on the head.
	That's the cult.
	That's the cult.
	NVXM or whatever.
	Nexium.
	Nexium.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Nikki Klein.
	What did I say?
	Not that.
	Great memory.
	How many remember correct names?
	Sorry.
	I can't wait for that.
	Yeah, I want to.
	This is what I want to do, like with the working class interviews on those seats.
	I want to do, okay, I'm me.
	I'm 18.
	I want to be a plumber.
	What do I do first?
	What's the worst part of it?
	How much does it cost?
	What can I fail?
	What can I not fail?
	Who do I need to know?
	And like, make me a plumber, take me through it.
	With the Vietnam vet, I want to hear, when did you first know you had to go?
	Like, what kind of plane did you get on?
	Were you shitting your pants when you landed?
	But with the celebs with this thing, I want to know your life story.
	Like, you were born here, you went there.
	How did you end up in a sex cult?
	Like, what about your childhood made you end up there?
	I just pulled that out of my ass right now.
	Because you don't want to say to a plumber, what about your childhood made you want to plumb?
	That doesn't really grab anyone.
	I want the working class ones and the Warvettes, I want them to come away with, like, they've done it.
	Right.
	But with these stories more, I want, like, with Ann Coulter, her dad was this incredible guy.
	I think he was a judge.
	I want to know how he shaped her.
	That's interesting to me, and it's interesting to you.
	Anyway, we're going to go through the mail now.
	We're going to look at some fantastic tits you're not allowed to see.
	You're a moocher, and I hate you.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	So, Baby Monster had a baby the other day.
	No, he had a birthday the other day, and we're at the pub, and this woman walks by.
	This is tit-related.
	I can tell.
	There are some tits in it.
	Tits are a percentage of it, maybe 12.
	She is so fucking hot that we're all talking about like, yeah, have you seen this thing where Biden, so Trump had a plan to get out of Kabul.
	He had it all laid out.
	Biden crumpled it up, threw it in the garbage.
	Raheem Kassan was covering this because it was a Trump idea.
	Exact same as Cuomo, where Trump brought the big boat by that everyone could have been in and been isolated and cured.
	But he said, no, I don't want Trump to win.
	So send them to old folks' home where 14,000 people will die.
	Probably 14,000 people will die in Kabul.
	American citizens, I'm guessing.
	So these guys are letting Americans die for political points.
	And we're talking like that, right?
	And this fucking woman walks by.
	She's about 19.
	She's slightly Hispanic.
	Her hair is blacker than coal.
	She has a little tube top on with little stingamids, like a tank top tube top, sports bra thing.
	She has leggings on.
	I didn't see her feet, but let's just imagine they're like sort of little sneakers, little vans or something.
	Maybe little aerobic shoes.
	A 10.
	And so everyone stops talking because in Kabul.
	Yeah.
	And then as she passes, we see the back of her two bowling balls that are identical twins that grew up loving each other to death.
	And every time she takes, like her leg goes in the back extension, one of the bowling balls inflates.
	Boom.
	Boom.
	Yeah.
	Boom.
	Which were like normal size.
	They weren't crazy.
	It was the proverbial, the record skipped.
	Yeah.
	And everything stopped.
	And every guy that was with us literally just went.
	You know what's funny?
	It was silent.
	You see that?
	Everywhere she goes, she's just hearing like birds chirping and like crickets.
	She's like, wow.
	It's quiet.
	It's proverbial.
	There's a lot of humming.
	You walk into a room and the record skips.
	It was exactly like there was a massive car accident and a baby went through the windshield and splatted on the back of a bus.
	We didn't even go, ooh.
	You could not just in awe.
	Just like draw drop like a.
	it was like a dog walked by with a human face and said, What?
	We all just went, Look up Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
	Jaws were just dog human face.
	I'm going to come.
	I wouldn't want to fuck her.
	That's how pretty she was.
	I would be like, it would be desecrating in the Mona Lisa.
	There was a little debate about that between us.
	I'd be like, can I just touch your butt cheeks, I guess?
	Yeah, let me just.
	Let me just watch you walk down the street.
	Let me just, how about I just pray to you?
	Let me light some candles, put some oranges around you, put some incense.
	Like Buddha.
	This is what it was like.
	That was our reaction.
	It was that amazing.
	Why are you in that movie, but without AIDS?
	She was as pretty as a dog with a human face.
	No, sorry.
	As shocking.
	Right.
	And like you see someone that that usually when a girl is super hot and has nice tits, God goes, you're not getting an ass out of this.
	I already spent all my chips.
	I mean, the face was dice.
	The tits were ample.
	Ample.
	The hair was jet black.
	Black.
	Flowing.
	Shining.
	Lid back.
	Just over her shoulder.
	It was just like...
	If I had come by an ex on and scooped her up and throw her on the back, a judge wouldn't have prosecuted me for kidnapping.
	He would have been like...
	If you touched her ass and you brought her into court, the judge would rule for you.
	The judge would say, you're the victim.
	I've seen the evidence and I agree.
	Hey, bitch, you're going to jail.
	You raped him.
	You need not be in public.
	You raped him by wearing yoga pants.
	You fucking bitch.
	She was smoking.
	Smoke.
	Well, that brings up the controversial question, how often do you see a 10?
	Because it kind of defines the bell curve.
	It's been a while.
	And it's not scientific, so you got to go with your gut.
	Like, people say you see a 10 once in your life and a 0 once in your life.
	No.
	I think you see, my gut, I'm not being scientific here.
	My gut says you see a 10 and a 0 every three months.
	I saw, I was out in Millwater, water mill in the Hamptons over the weekend.
	And there was one that was a strong 9, 9.5.
	Strong.
	But nothing compared to the 10.
	Like, you saw this woman, and she came down in her gown for the party and everything, and you were like, okay, she's smoking.
	She's total smoke show, 9, 9.5 solid.
	A 9, 9.5, you can live.
	You're still earth wings.
	Yeah.
	But a 10.
	This 10?
	You just go.
	Cut it right off.
	And it used to break my heart because I'm like, why don't I have you?
	And then I'm like, what?
	Why don't I have a fucking Conor McGregor $2 billion yacht?
	That's a dumb thing to think.
	Now, I just go, wow, I just saw the Mona Lisa.
	I just saw an incredible work of art.
	Sarah Jessica Parker?
	Dude, she's a fucking horse too.
	No one wants to fuck Sarah Jessica Parker.
	And that's a great picture.
	Is Yolandi Visser on there?
	Is Lena Dunham?
	Zero man.
	You could drop her out of a plane in Kabul.
	And the Taliban would be like, ah, I'm not that horny yet.
	Come back in an hour.
	Lena Dunham.
	And these are super hot pictures of them, too.
	He's saying that.
	Ugly women hearing.
	No one sex appeal.
	Maya Rudolph.
	Yeah, that's another thing.
	Dude, you got to see Maya Rudolph in unflattering pictures.
	Oh, my God.
	My best friend when I was 10?
	Absolutely not.
	But now?
	Peter McCarthy, no thanks.
	Chloe's 70, I do see the appeal.
	Chloe, yeah.
	I think I could have fucked her once.
	She was hanging out with Dianewood for a while.
	Oh, yeah?
	Oh, yeah.
	She was always very cool and dangerous and stuff.
	I knew her in the early aughts, but my wife told me recently she was all about being a Cuomosexual back when that was the hot thing.
	And I was just like, ruined.
	Next.
	No fucking way.
	Who else?
	All things.
	Oh, my God.
	Are you out of your mind?
	My mom?
	Phew.
	Tina Faye, yes.
	Tina Faye, we can work with.
	Hillary Swank, sort of, I guess.
	It's a very dude.
	Look at those collarbones.
	She's got a very early...
	Who's the chicken aliens?
	She looks like that guy.
	Sigoni Weaver.
	She looks like that guy at the gym who wants to talk too much.
	Oh, no.
	I know exactly that.
	I'm kind of doing the speed bag now, dude.
	Let's talk later.
	I can't hear you.
	I hear butter button, but I'm not going to be able to do it.
	I was doing so good with not talking to anybody at my gym and I got roped in.
	I now have a gym guy that I have to wave to now, and it's not great.
	Larry?
	What?
	That's a joke.
	That's a joke.
	No, it's a joke.
	She wishes she was.
	Lizzo is her goals.
	Jesus Christ.
	Gabrielle Sibide is a really cool chick, I've heard.
	Super funny.
	Nobody wants to fuck her.
	Nobody.
	She's worse than nothing.
	Same with who's the Ghostbusters black chick from...
	What was it?
	I'm drawing a total blank.
	Yeah.
	Milo made fun of her.
	Yeah, her hair is like a flame emoji.
	Fucking.
	Her feet are like size 13.
	She's not funny.
	She was affirmative action hired.
	She's loud.
	Looks like a guy.
	Whatever the fucking.
	What is it?
	There's something about being on screen where you can't remember certain names.
	Because the second these cameras are off, I know her name.
	Leslie Jones.
	Leslie Jones.
	Leslie Jones.
	I was thinking of...
	Who would you rather fuck, Leslie Jones or January Jones?
	Who the fuck is January Jones?
	She's the blonde from Mad Man.
	Oh, okay.
	Who would make your dick cry tears of come just by saying hi.
	That's a hard one.
	Please don't.
	Leslie?
	Is that Leslie or is that January?
	I can't tell.
	I cannot tell them apart.
	That could be Leslie Jones.
	If that's Leslie Jones, I'd do Leslie.
	Leslie, Leslie.
	I'd rather fuck Mr. Jones than Leslie Jones.
	Yeah.
	Mr. Jones.
	Hey.
	If it was a choice between counting crows, his hair is made of wool.
	And he fucked every chick in Friends.
	Wow.
	And they're all nines.
	He was banging Jen Aniston for a while.
	Jen Aniston.
	That fucking weird dude.
	Have you seen him lately?
	That's wool.
	Sideshow Bob.
	Have you seen him lately?
	No.
	He's like almost bald.
	He's bald there.
	No, but all that red wool gone and just like big empty patches.
	Imagine being so good at picking up chicks that you could look like that ugly fucking Jay and get a J like Jennifer Anniston.
	He used to be the bartender at the Viper Room.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Where does he get his haircut?
	Michael's for arts and crafts?
	He's got no dreads anymore.
	David Cross told me that he went to a party at his house and you walk in and there's a massive staircase that goes up to this giant painting of him.
	Him.
	Wow.
	So he's like sort of...
	A little narcissism.
	Yeah, welcome to my spot.
	Oh, it's getting kind of...
	Now he's starting to look like your accountant friend.
	Where was he from?
	I don't think he was from the bad.
	I think he was from Oakland.
	He was up from the Oakland area.
	That's a bad one.
	When he started.
	That's a hustle, dude.
	That's a hustle.
	I got a handed drink.
	He's cut all his dreads off and his hair is just like patches.
	Looks like he got alopecia.
	Still more fuckable than Leslie Jones.
	I'm not seeing these bald ones.
	I got to look, let me see, 2021.
	I think he had a thing called Coke.
	That's how you fuck a bunch of girls.
	When you got tons of money?
	Okay, let's do the mailbag intro.
	We only have five minutes.
	We're supposed to do an hour of mail.
	Paimini?
	Pai Mini, as they say in Puerto Rico.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Let me touch it.
	We still have not let him touch it.
	Since I talked about the tits, we've got two new emails, so we'll try to rip through those.
	Where have all the Proud Boys gone?
	Hey, Gavin, did you know if you replace Cowboys with Proud Boys in Paula Cole's Where Have All the Cowboys gone?
	It works just the same, if not better?
	Where have all the Proud Boys gone?
	Sounds like a hit.
	Click on it, Meathead.
	Oh.
	What do you mean?
	Oh.
	It took me a while to pull that up.
	Yeah, the verse doesn't come in for a second, so let's skip it.
	I know the song very well.
	Yeah, of course you do, you single mom.
	I don't even know who Paula Cole is.
	Oh, come on, man.
	She doesn't know.
	I don't want to wait for our lives to be.
	Maddie, imagine knowing this song really well.
	He knows it.
	That's Ryan's life.
	Maddie, you know this.
	Come on.
	No, he does not.
	W-R-R-V, it pops up.
	W-R-R-E?
	W-R-R-V.
	The Hudson Valley's alternative music radio station.
	Okay.
	I did hear there's a civil war in the Proud Boys, and this happened before the insurrection, and it's called Make Proud Boys Clandestine Again.
	And it was like, bring me back, get rid of Enrique, have no more rallies.
	There we go.
	That's what he always was, though.
	That's a wig.
	Well, it's kind of like the mafia, Omerta.
	Like, John Gotti was hated and viled by the mafia because he was so public and out in the public's eye.
	He's like, no, we operate under the radar.
	But that implies that the Proud Boys have this sort of crime agenda.
	It's more like the Knights of Columbus where they would do a parade to raise money for the nuns.
	Skull and bones.
	It was supposed to be bodyguarding.
	And I understand it makes sense to go to a few rallies and beat up Antifa, but like it was getting relentless in D.C. It was every fucking month.
	Yeah.
	Anyway.
	Big deals at West, though.
	Disney diddlers.
	Oh, we're getting a whole bunch here.
	Here's some woman named Lawrence wants us to know that Little Monsters is what Lady Gaga calls her friends.
	Oh, thanks for that heads up.
	Wow, I guess you really watch the show fastidiously and take it all in.
	Disney diddlers busted.
	Gavin, please watch Florida Sheriff Bust Undercover Child Pedo, Disney Starbucks, et cetera, employees.
	This one of so too many.
	No, that looks boring.
	We don't do press conferences.
	Dear Gavin and Ryan, I thought your theory about trainings and video games was bullshit, but maybe not.
	My theory is that all these kids playing as women on video games has led to this whole identity crisis with gender where guys go, I'm a woman.
	I identify as a woman.
	Because you were playing Fortnite with some fucking small-waisted chick with a nice ass, which Ryan does.
	What?
	You play as a woman.
	No, hold on a second.
	There was that one game and you have no choice.
	I never picked a female character in any video games where you have a choice.
	And you had to play because someone pointed a gun to your head and said, play this game.
	No, but I mean the thrills.
	The thrill.
	The thrill.
	You get a little tingling.
	I fucked guys in prison because there was no chicks.
	I had no choice.
	Well, if that's your thrill.
	But this thrills.
	It was a thrill.
	If I didn't fuck dudes, I wouldn't have had the thrill.
	Yeah, but this thrill is.
	So is that what you're going to do in prison?
	But this is straight.
	Do a bunch of cocksucking?
	Because you know we're both going.
	Well, if it's my thrill, but it's not my thrill.
	My thrill is shooting robot dinos.
	Can't get that with a guy.
	Did you pull up the picture yet?
	Vampire Barbie girl.
	I'm a trans femme who has never played Dark Swords or Fallout.
	New Vegas.
	Yes, I exist.
	I will literally buy you New Vegas.
	I'm a missionary effectively.
	Maybe if you play with me.
	Vampire Barbiegirl.
	Yeah, so they're all gamers talking about gaming.
	This is from Bill.
	You see a 10 every three months?
	Gavin, you're speaking out of your arse again, mate.
	This sounds like a British person.
	Yep.
	How can you claim to be encountering a 10 every three months?
	Here's the litmus test on whether or not you've just witnessed an angel.
	It's not that you just stop what you're doing, record need of scratch, the world pauses, but it's also that you remember her for years afterwards and random moments of your life.
	That vision enters your mind.
	Dude, she's in my head right now.
	I could bring her up like that.
	You didn't clarify, but this happened 12 years ago that you guys just told us.
	That chick we saw the other day will definitely be etched in the head forever.
	Ever.
	Ever.
	Like, you know what I should have done?
	I should have ran outside and went, Jen?
	And then she turns around and she's like, what?
	I go, oh my God, I'm sorry.
	I thought you were my cousin Jen.
	Listen.
	Me, Mom, taking an info.
	I would have went out there and ran out and said, hey, listen, excuse me, you dropped something.
	And she's going to stop it, she turned around and looked down.
	I'm like, yo, if you fall for that, you'll fall for me.
	And then you knock her over.
	The cheesiest pickup line ever.
	Or, you know, another good one, if you want to fuck her, is you run up to her and you jump on top of her and you hold her down.
	And then you put a knife against her throat and you say, we're going to have a fucking party.
	And you better not scream or cry.
	That's for rape.
	That is rape.
	Is that rape?
	That's actually rape.
	That might be rape.
	In America, that's rape.
	Yeah.
	You're thinking.
	In Canada.
	Well, if you were bringing her to Afghanistan.
	In Canada, that's how I met my wife.
	There's no incoming flights, but if you did bring her to Afghanistan.
	I first met my wife in Canada.
	I was raping her because I saw her on the street and I tackled her and did the knife thing.
	And I said, smile, fucking smile, right?
	She's crying and it was bumming me out, right?
	She's like, oh.
	Aren't you having a good time?
	I'm married.
	And I go, fucking smile.
	And I push the knife towards her throat.
	And she goes like this.
	She goes, as she's crying, she goes, I'm smiling.
	I'm smiling.
	See?
	Fakest fucking smile you've ever seen, man.
	Could you believe it?
	Oh, wait, damn it.
	I was doing this.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	That guy's down with it.
	That was for my ex-con friend Robbie, who told me that joke 30 years ago.
	And it's a certain, certain people laugh at that, and other, they're called men.
	And the other half of the population goes, uh.
	I found it funny the first time, but I. Well, there's the classic one of the guys going to trial for rape, and the judge goes, you know, the girl was telling you, no, don't stop.
	And you go, no, no, Your Honor.
	She was telling me, no, don't fucking stop.
	You weren't there.
	You were in the context.
	You got the comma wrong.
	You got the context wrong.
	You're missing an exclamation.
	No.
	Yeah, there was no period.
	And she's telling me, no, please don't stop.
	It's like these pencils we had in grade school that said, don't do drugs, but the don't started at the wrong end.
	So as we sharpened them, it said, do drugs.
	There you go.
	You fucking morons.
	Oh, speaking of jokes, somebody came up with a Mitch Hedberg joke.
	Chris Hines.
	Remember him?
	Background contest guy?
	He says, shovels are just big spoons that have food that I don't want to fucking eat.
	Pretty good?
	Nope.
	Not that's very Mitch Hedberg.
	A spoon goes like this.
	A shovel goes like this.
	Shovels are just big spoons for shit I don't want to eat.
	Yeah, you're right.
	Sometimes you go like that, I guess.
	Okay.
	But it's also, you remember for years, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, there are some blokes well into their 80s who still remember that one day in 1957 when they saw a 10.
	Look, a bell curve has to be defined by the parameters.
	So say you lived in fucking Kabul.
	You would have to change your parameters to make sure you see a 10 X amount of times.
	If you lived in ugly land, here's the real question.
	If you lived in ugly land, like say Glasgow, Scotland, would you say I never saw a 10?
	Or would you change your parameters?
	When I was a young man, hot blondes like cheerleader types were not interested in me for whatever reason.
	They're probably assholes.
	So I changed my tastes and made it more ethnically ambiguous brunettes.
	And then I got pussy.
	If you talk about the IQ of a town, you start with 100 as the median.
	So say you do 10 tests, you make the middle test 100 IQ.
	And then that's your bell curve from there.
	So it's ridiculous to say you never see a 10.
	That's not how parameters work.
	You have to work with what you're given.
	Correct.
	OnlyFans bans porn?
	Yes.
	Yes, we're familiar with that.
	Oh, yeah.
	It was just prostitution for middle-class girls.
	No way.
	It's huge.
	A bunch of people had OnlyFans.
	You have an OnlyFans.
	I do.
	I have a little monsters.
	Some guy sending us the same memes a bunch of times named Alex.
	This is the email I was trying to get to when we talked about the mailbag, but we keep getting fucking new shit.
	Hey, G-Man, Criminal, and the Rad Dad.
	That's me, baby.
	I own that.
	Which one am I?
	I'm the criminal.
	Okay.
	I hope you had a good vacation.
	I'm happy to see you back in action.
	For the record, that Costa repelling incident really did hurt the censored TV brand.
	So I'm only sending you $8.99 this month.
	That aside, I came across this picture and I had to share with you guys.
	She's no 10.
	Well.
	But the shirt compelled me to send it.
	Also, that Dreedle screaming Hail Fauci was epic.
	Oh, Dreddy.
	Everyone's seen that t-shirt by now, right?
	Look, it goes real low.
	That goes around your hips.
	Afghanistan finally liberated from a regime that imposes mandatory face coverings, destroy statues, and promotes a gentle manilation of children.
	That's a good one.
	But let me see that chick again.
	You know what bothers me about that?
	It's like she's got a fake.
	Her face is a filter on it.
	Like in between her cheeks and her nose.
	Like the tits are huge, but I'm not a big fan of humongous fake tits.
	Definitely photos.
	Are those definitely fake tits?
	Oh, yeah, 100%.
	Yeah.
	I hate fake tits.
	You can feel them.
	You can feel the bags and stuff.
	They're penises.
	I mean, I'm an ass and thigh man and like flat tummy, nice thighs.
	I'm fine with zero tits at all, like an inch.
	I'm fine with fucking droopers.
	I'm from Florida.
	Zero.
	Fine.
	We can work with dudes' tits.
	Oh, I got a good one.
	Would you fuck Leslie Jones with real tits or January Jones with fake tits?
	January Jones?
	I would fuck January Jones with huge black boners tits.
	You would fuck her if you got tits afterwards.
	We would fuck her if one of her tits.
	I would fuck her if one of her tits was my dad's head and one of her tits was my mom's head and they're both going, kid you!
	What are you doing there?
	Calm down.
	It's ridiculous.
	Hang is too good for you.
	Hey, you're shaking us about.
	Hey, what don't you?
	I would tit fuck her if my parents' heads were her tits.
	And you'd still be...
	They're coming and they all pay every day.
	Dude, you could put an RPG up to my head and say, your smithereens and your family's necks.
	We're going to boil them alive.
	Unless you fuck January Jones.
	And I'd be like, can't do it.
	I mean, sorry.
	You're a beautiful, beautiful bird.
	And I'd go, ah, come on, Dick.
	I need you.
	I'm going to come.
	Anyway, what's this blonde?
	She fake tits.
	That's a bummer.
	She's got kind of a Mexican dyed her hair bone.
	She does have that Mexican look, which there's nothing wrong with.
	She's got a very long nose.
	Yep.
	But it's all filtered.
	You see how it's like white and blurred out?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's all mushy.
	So we're not getting the true story.
	Right.
	I'm going to throw out an 8.
	7.5.
	7, 7.5.
	7.7.
	Because the picture's filtered.
	You're not getting the real look.
	It's hard for us to degrade your work when you cheat and plagiarize.
	Check these out.
	These are fucking rough shit turns.
	Whoa!
	Yeah, that's a fucking shit.
	That's a rough.
	No, no, the other one.
	Who, her, the Kardashian?
	That's a Kardashian.
	Someone take a shit on her face.
	Did you ever see her before and have a picture of what she looked like?
	That's Bruce Jenner's daughter.
	Yeah.
	Oh, really?
	She had her jaw, her cheeks, and everything doesn't look like Kim.
	That's depraved.
	Well, she made a billion dollars.
	Yeah, she did that stupid makeup company.
	By the way, that Demi Lovato no makeup thing, I'm still all in.
	Balls deep.
	Some girls just have natural beauty.
	Yeah.
	Same with that one at the very bottom there.
	The blonde.
	The blonde?
	I'll take either of those.
	Yeah.
	I don't mind freckles.
	No.
	But yeah, go back to that Kylie Jen.
	Oh, she's a beast.
	That's brutal.
	Is that Brianna in the top right?
	Yeah.
	She just looks like a black man.
	That's reasonable.
	She's got a humongous forehead.
	All black women do.
	That's because they're constantly pulling their hair back and it starts to tear.
	Kylie B. Coke dealer.
	She's a big fucking fat pregnant stripper.
	Go back up to Kylie Jenner, though.
	Who fucking sprayed diarrhea in her face?
	Look at that.
	Yeah.
	What the fuck happened?
	Did you eat zits for three weeks?
	If you go Kylie Jenner before and after, and you look at the two pictures, oh my God.
	But we're talking about two separate things.
	One is all the surgery she's had.
	The other is her skin is barf.
	Right.
	Go back.
	I can't get enough of this.
	We should be saving this for the gossip episode tomorrow.
	Paige.
	Dude, where is it?
	Is it Kylie Jenner?
	No, I want to see that.
	Yeah, that diarrhea face.
	That one face.
	Give me the whole, make it the whole screen.
	Okay.
	Is that just freckles and zips?
	No, that's surgery.
	I think it's a freckles.
	I believe it's some sort of post-flow.
	Oh, is that post-surgery?
	Yeah, that's post-surgery.
	What are you doing?
	I'm looking for...
	Oh, that was a thumbnail.
	Yeah.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	That's all bruising.
	Wait, go back.
	Will you fucking get it together?
	I want to have a good look and see if Maddie's right about this bruising shit.
	Okay.
	Let's find out.
	If it's a thumbnail, then just stay on the thumbnail.
	Okay.
	Let's zoom in there.
	No, the thumbnail on the far right.
	It's real big, but.
	Yeah.
	Maybe pull out.
	Oh, for fuck's sake.
	Those are all broken blood vessels.
	Really?
	In her face?
	Underneath her eyes?
	Yeah.
	This is so frustrating.
	Oh.
	That's all broken blood vessels.
	Okay, so that's pretty defendable.
	Your face is going to look fucked up after you've had surgeons battering you with scalpels.
	Also, they do derma rolling.
	Have you seen what she looked like prior to the surgeon?
	I'm aware of that.
	Oof.
	Is that not derma rolling where they puncture your skin?
	They always show that Kylie Jenner picture and they go, you're not ugly, you're just poor.
	She is.
	She made herself look like her sister Kim.
	I mean, for a billion dollars, I'd make myself look like my brother.
	Yo, Gav, I want to buy some Rasta gear.
	Oh.
	Rasta.
	You came to the right place.
	We love selling our Rasta gear.
	If there's one thing we know, it's the correct Rasta gear.
	Oh, shit, we have a whole box of shirts I brought.
	It's in the car, though.
	We have a full rundown of all the sizes of shirts.
	So we'll be wearing them throughout the day.
	Actually, someone sent me an inside joke.
	It's not really a shirt.
	He's in our Rasta.
	It's Hindu, but it's from the singer of Blood Clot, who says Ross a lot.
	Says Ross Klot, Bumble Klot.
	Who am I talking about?
	I'll give you a clue.
	Yo, what up?
	We're here with Julie.
	She's getting fucking coming here for dog food.
	You got to get at it.
	Just did a 200-mile run.
	Motherfuckers trying to slow you down.
	You got to get in their face and say nothing slows you down.
	Don't fucking let anything stand in your way.
	I grew up in the foster care system.
	I got abused, fucked over.
	Who's that?
	Say in jail.
	That's John Joseph.
	John Joseph.
	I highly recommend him as an Instagram follow.
	You know what dog food is, right?
	No, he was literally talking about dog food.
	No, dog food is dope.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	But in that imitation, he was talking about dog food.
	I wonder if he feeds his dogs vegetarian food.
	She's here for dog food.
	No, he's talking about.
	He always has his pit bull in his videos, and he's just fed her and stuff.
	And he's showing her face and he's rescuing her.
	I follow him.
	Oh, you do?
	Oh, yeah.
	I get his newsletter every Monday.
	It's great.
	I love it.
	I told you by the time I blew up his walking tour.
	Oh, you were there?
	I was on Ludlow.
	And he's coming through doing his walking tour.
	And me and another buddy and my get on our bikes.
	motorcycles.
	Yeah, on our motorcycles.
	And he's directly across the street from where we are.
	And he's in the middle of talking.
	And my Harley and my other, you know, they're extremely loud.
	So we...
	And like, all there's this crowd.
	Which is all like German in orange shot, like, ah, and starts laughing.
	He goes, slow Eastside, baby.
	That's New York.
	Yep.
	Yeah, but he was a, he's a real deal.
	Yeah, he's a great fucking guy.
	Yep.
	And don't fuck with him.
	No.
	He's got Chuxito vibes.
	Like, he'll knock you out if you say the wrong thing.
	If you learn about the guy's history from what a time he was in Foster Homes, in youth homes, and when he was in the Navy, and then he went rogue in the Navy, and he was, you know, on the run in AWOL for a bunch of years.
	Homeless as a kid in the Lone East Side.
	The one thing I don't get about him is he goes to his mom's for Mother's Day, rides a bike fucking, getting at it.
	Why would you go there?
	But like, I'd be mad at her.
	Yeah.
	Oh, she was depressed.
	Okay.
	He was foster parents had him in his backyard, in their backyard, him and his brother.
	They're raping him.
	They had them on these cots all winter.
	And then he was in the back.
	And then the dogs were also back there shitting.
	So as they're sleeping, there's flies all over them from the fucking dog shit.
	But he was also in the same youth detention center as Mike Tyson, Spofford in the Bronx.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	He went through the whole fucking system.
	Then he kind of, he met Bad Brains, started working at a vegetarian food juicing place.
	Handing spot.
	Underneath the tutelage of, what's his name from HR?
	HR from Bad Brains.
	He starts working there, then becomes, gets into the monk and all that stuff, and he goes to fucking India and he's like a shriner and doing all this crazy stuff.
	His life story is bugged out.
	Yeah, not a shriner, a Hindi.
	He's not a shriner, but he's like a Harry Krishna.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And so is Anthony Civarelli from Gorilla Biscuits.
	Everyone got into that.
	To this day, he's still in the middle of the house.
	All those New York hardcore dudes have like Krishna and fucking that elephant on their arm.
	But he's still a dangerous dude.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Pull up that meme I sent you.
	Yeah.
	Dangerous to the bone.
	God bless him.
	Respect him.
	You sent them separately?
	I just emailed it to you.
	Cunt lips.
	I went on his walking tour.
	It's fun.
	Oh, yeah.
	Zoom out.
	My fall plans, the Delta variant.
	Yeah.
	He does now, he does all these Irans all over the world.
	It's funny because if you ever watch his videos, like his missing the draw on his kitchen counter.
	He still is in the same go to his Instagram John Joseph Cro-Mag or something.
	John Joseph Cro-Mag.
	His pep talks are awesome.
	We didn't let that meme sit.
	Obviously, Hindus are probably a little uncomfortable with guys like John Joseph jumping into their religion.
	But he was devoted.
	Okay, let's see.
	Oh, he did Joe Rogan.
	Keep going down, though.
	I want to see one of his pep talk ones.
	No, no, no.
	Wait, this is a video.
	Yeah, but it's not.
	It might do.
	Hey, what's up, everybody?
	Coming to you live and direct.
	From Nagrill, Jamaica, the yard, you know, down here.
	Put in my five-mile run this morning.
	Did a 2,000-yard swim.
	You know what they say?
	Is Rotwall a bear?
	Calm seas never made good sailors, right?
	You got to weather the storm no matter what you're going through.
	No matter what's happening right now, you got to stay on your routine.
	Look who I'm with.
	Let me turn this camera around.
	Oh, there's a sexy girl in a bikini.
	She's following me everywhere.
	This guy's so New York.
	Y'all be good.
	You got to go get some organic fruit.
	Okay, that's not what I want.
	I want the New York ones where he's got his dog.
	Yeah, bear.
	It's like, we're out here getting at it.
	We got bear here.
	Yeah, bear.
	It's a big, huge fucking neck.
	Yeah, there we go.
	Hey, how you guys doing?
	I'm out here with the bear.
	That's the LES right there.
	We're here with the bear.
	You know what?
	I always pay attention to people.
	I don't wear fucking headphones and all this shit.
	I'm a people person.
	I'm a New Yorker, right?
	59 years old.
	I'm becoming soon in October.
	I always pay attention to people.
	You know what I noticed this morning?
	I'm walking on the river.
	Everybody's exercising.
	Everybody's smiling.
	There's no fucking depressed people over there.
	Because you know what?
	Exercise releases endorphins.
	That's a chemical reaction in the brain.
	It makes you feel pleasure.
	You know what kills endorphins?
	Intoxication, drugs, and all that bullshit.
	And you know what else?
	Watching that fucking news.
	Watching the news.
	Don't pay attention to that shit.
	It's all fucking negative.
	Unless they're telling me about the 90-year-old lady that feeds 30 cats every fucking day, I don't want to know about it.
	Right?
	Fucking people I know are fucking consumed with that shit now.
	They're fucking just non-stop putting this bullshit out there.
	Turn that shit off.
	Get the fuck out of there.
	Like, right?
	Help strengthen your immune system.
	Stretch cortisol.
	It fucking always shit.
	Anyway, I want a shirt that says Jaw Army or something.
	Any suggestions on where to get that kind of thing?
	I got my Jaw Army shirt at the airport in Jamaica.
	He's in a.
	Maddie, The man, baby monster.
	Oh, sorry.
	Maddie is the man.
	We got to use more punctuation here, folks.
	Maddie is the man, period.
	You should have had a period there.
	Baby monster rules, period.
	New sentence.
	Also, comma.
	What are you drinking, Gavin?
	Period.
	You should have had.
	This is pathetic.
	There's zero punctuation here.
	Also, you were even more ripped than normal.
	Have you been doing jumping jacks?
	Also, can you ask Ryan if he can do a Matty impression?
	Oh, that's a good one.
	Let's see.
	Wait, Maddie, try to move your mouth as I talk and do your voice.
	All right, let's see.
	So, yeah, I was locked up for a while, but so this guy came up and I took his fucking head and I spun it around and kicked it down the street like a fucking soccer ball.
	And he was like, oh, dude, what are you doing?
	I was like, I'm a fucking baby monster.
	Not bad.
	I remember when Ryan first met me, he was a little hesitant.
	Stop doing impressions about me.
	I'm cool, I rule, and I'm pool.
	You're good, Ryan.
	I'm real smart and a good person, and I don't want any trouble.
	You know, after the show, he's going to put his arm around and be like, it was funny.
	It was real funny.
	Am I a clown?
	Do I amuse you?
	My head amuse you.
	Funny how?
	Okay, last one, and then we'll take calls.
	I'm jumping ahead a little bit here, Ryan.
	Biden quote for shirt.
	Hey, jungle monkeys, imagine this entire quote on a shirt.
	And it is Biden saying, you got the vaccination?
	Are you, I mean, okay?
	Or you seem, no, it works, or you know, or mom and dad, or the neighbor, or when you go to the church, or no, I really mean it.
	There are trusted interlocutors.
	Think of the people.
	If your kid wanted to find out whether or not there was a man on the moon or whatever, you know something, or you know, whether those aliens are here or not.
	You know, who are the people they talk to to be on and the kids who love talking about...
	They really did choose, like, we know that the president doesn't lead the show, although I think Trump led it more than anyone in a long time.
	But, like, you couldn't have got a guy who's not retarded.
	Let me ask you a question.
	And I think I posed this the other day.
	If he's incompetent, do we really want Kamala Harris next?
	I don't know.
	Or what are the alternatives to the overall in this car?
	I'm not smart enough to figure out if you want the puppet to be competent or not.
	I don't know.
	Because I'm going to get more done.
	I remember someone said to me once, they go, it's actually good that Justin Trudeau is incompetent because he goes, we're going to kill the pipeline.
	And then someone goes to him, and an investor goes, that's 20,000 jobs.
	It's going to be really bad for you.
	You don't want to shut that down.
	And then Justin has no backbone.
	So he's just like, oh, okay, we're not shutting it down.
	Like, literally the other day after the Afghan withdrawal and all the, I was so hell-bent and distraught and like embarrassed.
	Yeah, it's embarrassing.
	The administration that's in charge.
	And I posted a thing on Facebook and I said, Joe Biden needs to resign immediately.
	And that's all I wrote.
	And I just left it at that.
	And then as I went back a couple days later and I went through my comments and they were like, oh, so you'd rather Kamala instead?
	I think so.
	I think so.
	I don't know.
	I mean, we're really like, would you rather eat shit or get stabbed in the ass?
	Who's really, you know, who's the puppet master?
	Who is the puppet master?
	I think it's Susan Rice.
	I think Susan Rice is running America and the world right now.
	You know what's fucking too?
	And Valerie Jarrett and Obama.
	Have you heard of the term the high cabal?
	Is he the puppet masters at the very top?
	Like there's a group of like 12 to 15 individuals that kind of control everything.
	Shadow government?
	Yes.
	Like I don't know.
	Like who's fucking pulling this dude?
	I guess if we don't have Joe Biden, we wouldn't have as many jokes like we just had with, I mean, mom and dad.
	Tackle every day?
	At least?
	Yeah.
	Like Hillary's laugh.
	I was so glad we weren't exposed to that.
	Did you see she's trying to run for New York State?
	Governor?
	Representative?
	No, not governor.
	Rep. Senate.
	Okay.
	Oh, yeah.
	Good.
	Oof.
	All right.
	Let's fucking take some calls.
	We really delayed it here.
	Yeah.
	You callers, call in with the number provided in a minute.
	You are on the air.
	You have a conversation.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn, share, listen?
	Understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next call.
	All right, next call.
	All right.
	We have stink on the line.
	Stink?
	What's up, stink?
	Yes, stink.
	Hey, baby.
	Oh, it's female, stink.
	Female.
	Hi.
	I have a question for you.
	So my niece is going to be 20 years old, and she's still living at home.
	My brother and I grew up kind of a little bit in between upper and middle class.
	And my brother's a doctor, and he kind of spoiled the shit out of her.
	And she ended up making some bad choices and dating a thug guy.
	A what?
	Kind of like a thuggy.
	A black guy or a wigger?
	A nigger a wig.
	Yeah.
	Which one?
	Wait, is it a black guy or is it a wigger?
	Isn't the guy from Counting Crows a nigg with a wig?
	No, his name.
	He's a, he's an African American.
	Okay.
	But anyway, so he contacted me through Instagram and asked me to help him because my niece is like waiting tables now and like hardcore on below and all this shit.
	And this is terrible.
	But he actually, my brother couldn't stand him at all.
	They've been dating for a while and he's like so against him.
	So my question is, like he drug tested her and all that stuff.
	I don't know what's going on.
	I'm kind of in the dark.
	But my question is for you, what would you do if you're in that situation with your daughter?
	Because she's a good girl, but she's like so spoiled, rotten that she has no idea what it's like.
	Like she complains and cries about having to pay for her $25 credit card that she owes your parents and things like that.
	So what would you do if that was your daughter?
	I had to talk to this dude and he seems pretty legit and nice.
	You know, he's just different, I don't know, different strokes, whatever.
	So I just wanted to know what you would do, like, if you were in his position.
	Okay, I got it.
	Spoiled his kid.
	I got it.
	You send her away to a camp for two months.
	And this camp is, you tell her it's to give her intrinsic survival skills.
	And don't worry, I'm going to pay you a bunch of money after you graduate from this survival camp.
	And it's a pretty tough camp.
	They sleep outside, no cell phones, nothing.
	Then you hire a detective to spy on him.
	He's going to cheat on her in about a day.
	When she's done, you give her the money, maybe $10,000, and you show her pictures of him cheating.
	And now she's experienced a rugged lifestyle.
	She has experienced discipline and self-worth.
	And she's done with the relationship with that fucking asshole.
	And here's the fun part.
	If he didn't cheat on her, and he's been a great guy, then he's, you know, 75% of blacks abandon their baby mama, but maybe he's one of the one in four.
	So send her away.
	And don't tell her, I'm sending you away because I hate your boyfriend.
	Say, I'm sending you away to give you this crucial survival skill.
	I've seen people do this with their kids, much younger, of course, but my experience has been they come in much tappier.
	They come out of these camps, like cured.
	The problem with the daughter is she has an experienced life.
	She's essentially 12.
	Who introduced her to Coke?
	Totally.
	What?
	Thank you, Gavin.
	Who introduced her to Coke?
	One more time.
	Who introduced her to Coke?
	The thug.
	Okay.
	She works as a waitress.
	You know how the wait staff is?
	You know how that freaking culture is in the restaurant business.
	Were we in Brooklyn?
	This is Brooklyn?
	Well, high-end, right?
	High-end restaurants, there's a lot of Coke and Booz going on.
	Oh, 100%.
	If you're in a red.
	Every chef, thanks for calling.
	Every chef, every waiter, every waitress.
	And I kind of get it because you're working your ass off.
	You're super pumped.
	And then it's like 1 or 2 a.m.
	And they're like, all right, you're free to go.
	You're not about to go put on your peepee jam jams and watch Golden Girls.
	You're fucking pumped.
	You've been running around and you want to party.
	And you have, in New York City, if it's a good restaurant, you have $200, $300 cash.
	You want to fucking get wasted.
	The doors are closed, the bars open, and the coke comes out.
	And everyone's cleaning up and everyone's doing what they do.
	It's restaurant class.
	It's laughing, doing shopping.
	It's like SNL.
	All the high-end restaurants.
	You finish SNL, you finally do the show.
	It's a hit.
	You think it went well.
	You're not going to bed that night.
	No, of course not.
	So if she gets back in the restaurant industry, the great thing about the restaurant industry, though, as a pretty girl, is you meet like 700 guys a night.
	Yeah.
	So it's a great way to link up with the dude.
	You have to always go above your scale.
	Another thing is with boyfriends, though, if they're with a shitty boyfriend, a cokehead or something, the more you get mad, the hotter you make him.
	So you kind of got to go, hey, where's Shaquan?
	He's really cool.
	How's his rap career going?
	I was listening to his demo.
	He has some jams.
	Wow.
	What's the one called?
	All my mad bitches is crazy.
	That's kind of my favorite.
	That's the hit, right?
	Is that the hit?
	I mean, that's got to be the hit.
	It's called Cashflow, but that's the chorus.
	Idiot.
	What if you bring him to dinner and you're just like, you know, you have a bunch of people that have jobs and things going for them, and then you just, like, so what do you do?
	And he's like, ah, chill.
	And then maybe she's like, he's a fucking retard with no goals.
	What you got to do is you got to start hanging out at his place with his homies, wearing a do-rag and a triple XL t-shirt and just like, y'all, what's up, man?
	Where's my daughter at, G?
	Yeah.
	Where the fuck?
	Jenny, where?
	I'll text the bitch.
	Jenny, where you at, motherfucker?
	If you ain't gonna slap her, I will.
	Damn.
	I brought the Kush.
	Yo, if you come and buy Shaquan's place, can you get me and him some scissor?
	Some scissor?
	Or at least some Benadryls.
	Let me get some of that lean.
	Yeah, let's get some lean.
	I want to get my pup a drink.
	And then it works out too well, and you guys are actually homies.
	Yeah, that's the problem.
	She's disgusted.
	She dumps him, and then you guys end up having these really deep conversations on cop syrup.
	Why did you dump Shaquan?
	And then you're just like, you're in a gang now.
	The New York, you're in the Crips.
	There you go.
	And you say, what's cracking?
	What's cracking?
	Because the Crips say, what's cracking?
	And the Bloods say, what's popping?
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, what's popping, blood?
	What's cracking?
	Cuz.
	They say cuz, yeah.
	Yeah, cracking is Crips, popping is bloods.
	We got Justin on the line.
	Thanks for calling.
	Justin, you're on the line.
	Hey, guys, how are you?
	Hey, Maddie, nice to meet you.
	Gav, I saw On HBO, Woodstock 99, right?
	I think you talked about it before.
	That documentary from start to finish was the biggest piece of anti-white propaganda I've ever seen in recent times.
	It started out from like making driving the point home that was all like white kids, white men, and then it goes to how women were being groped in mosquitoes.
	And then it goes, it jumps to this like black reverend guy complaining about how DMX was like doing the call in response to the song My Niggas.
	I was just completely floored by it because I was like, I don't know, like 14, 13 when that went down.
	Everything they talked about that movie, it was nothing like it went down in that movie.
	Was there a woman who was actually raped like penis in vagina?
	Because that's bad.
	I don't know.
	But if there was someone...
	No, no, that's horrible.
	If there was someone crowdsurfing and you got a bunch of wasted teenagers and someone grabbed an ass in a boob, I mean, it's bad sportsmanship, but it's not like mass rape.
	And you've been to tons of shows.
	Like, how many times, how many, like, pong shows or metal shows have you been to where you'll have the singer being like, guys, don't grab on the women.
	Like, let them surf the crowds.
	All the time.
	Okay, yeah, you're right.
	But also, you're in a mosh pit.
	It's not a friendly place to be.
	When we were kids in the 80s, you'd be in the mosh pit and the Nazi skinheads would be on the perimeter and they would punch you in the face as you went by.
	We didn't get a documentary.
	Or they'll kick you in the head as they scroll by the crowd.
	At least I thought it wasn't metal shows.
	But the way they were filming this documentary, I was just staring at it dumped at it.
	Like they were trying to put all the blame on Limp Biscuit.
	And they're like, two nights later, Rage Against the Machine got the crowd pretty wild.
	And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	How can you blame, I don't even like Limp Biscuit, but how could you blame Limp Biscuit for something that happened to you?
	You're right.
	The subtext there is like white males are all rapists and they're jocks and they're gross.
	And you'll notice that the Beastie Boys, that's where they sort of made their mark in the sand where they're like, we're no longer the licensed ill guys.
	Now we're super serious feminist guys and we're really pissed off.
	Absolutely.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it was pretty wild.
	There's been a lot of like weird like propaganda coming out of HBO, which I think coincides with their huge push to like put like give HBO max to everybody, you know?
	Because I think they just want to blast out these things to these like middle-aged next, you know, the kids that went to Woodstock are probably all like, you know, I'm 35.
	Like we're all like middle-aged now.
	And it's just to drive that like point home that like if you're white, you're angry, you're misogynistic, you're race.
	Thanks for calling.
	35 is middle-aged.
	That sucks.
	Fuck.
	What are we then?
	That's Limp Biscuit right there.
	It sucks that that's the narrative, right?
	But they really did set off the riot.
	It's a fact.
	Limp Biscuit did?
	Oh, fuck yeah, they did.
	With this very performance.
	They were like, you ever want to bring shit?
	Come on, yeah.
	They're allowed to say that.
	Have you ever seen the recent one of this?
	Yeah.
	Like Nookie?
	Lollapalooza?
	Yeah.
	Of like 2021.
	He's got like blonde hair and a...
	No, he's got like a big, huge wig on.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yellow sunglasses.
	But listen, the Beastie Boys want to cry that, oh, we don't do this, we don't do that.
	Listen, their early videos of like Cookie Puss and Girls to clean the bathroom, girls to clean up my room, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls.
	There's videos of them putting their hands down girls' pants.
	By the way, those women weren't victims.
	They weren't like, no, these were willing protectors.
	They were like, I'm partying with the Beastie Boys.
	This is funny.
	I was out one night hanging out with the famous porn store Ron Jeremy.
	So I'm hanging out with Ron Jeremy.
	A couple of girls that used to live with me.
	And he's signing tits.
	He's doing this.
	He's got his hands on their pants.
	So the next morning they wake up and they see the signature.
	There's the video.
	The signatures and all this crazy bullshit.
	They're like, yo, you were the most famous porn star in the world.
	What the fuck do you think was happening?
	What do you think was going to happen?
	Yeah, avoid it.
	And you let it happen.
	If you're creeped out by creeps, maybe avoid Ron Jeremy.
	You can put his hand down your pants.
	You let him sign your tits.
	Let him feel you.
	Like, I'm not going to tell you no.
	But wait a minute.
	Ryan, you think if you're in a whatever the fuck they're called, new metal rap, if you're in a new metal rap band and you say, you ever want to just break shit?
	You're not starting a riot.
	No, it's not their fault, but the crowd was like, yeah, let's break shit actually right now, though.
	Yeah, but you said it's their fault.
	It's a fact.
	No, it's a fact that their song started.
	Well, they started burning the place down when that happened.
	Their song started that, for sure.
	Break shit, yeah.
	That's not their fault.
	No, it's not their fault.
	You said it was their fault.
	It's a fact.
	No, all right.
	Well, it's not their fault, but that song is when they started.
	So it's a kawinky dink.
	Well, no, it's not a kwinky dink.
	I don't want to blame.
	I love Limp Biscuit.
	If Iron Maiden come out and sing Run to the Hills and then everyone runs to the Hills, it's not their fault.
	Right.
	But they're playing their role.
	You're a heavy rock band.
	You ever wanted to fucking break shit?
	Yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	No, I'm not blaming them.
	I love Limp Biscuit.
	What if they sang My Way or the Highway and everyone ran onto the highway and got hit by 18 Wheelers?
	So you know their song.
	Exactly.
	You know their song.
	I know that from the Bob Odenkirk sketch.
	You're down with the biscuit.
	I'm so down with the biscuit, dude.
	That was Wes Borland?
	Yeah.
	He wouldn't be less down with the biscuits.
	He became this weird, like, kind of a...
	It looks like a black tranny thing.
	He looks like an old man.
	Well, Fred Durst does, but look at Wes.
	That's not Wes Borland.
	Yes, it is.
	No.
	On the guitar, that is.
	No, sir.
	Yes, it is.
	He said he would never do another show with Western.
	Well, he lied.
	That's it.
	That's not Wes Born.
	I swear to God.
	Yeah.
	No fucking way.
	Wes!
	No, he introduced him and I watched this whole fucking concert, and I loved it.
	Are we wearing thigh-high socks?
	That's what I'm saying.
	I'm going to have to go home.
	Wes Brule was a nut.
	He's the one who did all the crazy makeup and light.
	Yeah.
	But he also said that he would never do another show with Lynn Biscuit.
	He lied.
	I lied.
	All right.
	That's probably why he's wearing leggings because his pants are on fire.
	No, yeah, he definitely joined the band.
	Oh, you're still here, sir.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	I'm sorry, sir.
	But yes, thank you.
	Yeah.
	For your call.
	I forget what the actual crimes were at that Woodstock.
	If a woman was actually raped, then the guy should go to jail.
	People died.
	Right, but if a woman was like held down and fucked against her will, obviously we have a rape case, and there's laws for that.
	But if it was like groping and shit, then, and the documentary's all about those evil jocks.
	Fuck off.
	I'm sick of that shit.
	Yeah.
	You want to go crowd surfing?
	People are going to grab your ass.
	They're going to grab your pussy.
	They're going to grab all your ass.
	Fans have grabbed my ass a million times.
	In New York City, going to bars, having a gay boyfriend, going to gay orgies.
	I used to get my ass grabbed all the time.
	Blowing dudes in alleyways.
	Behind garbage dumpsters?
	Yeah.
	I'd be in a dumpster with eight other naked guys, and one of them would grab my ass.
	Did you go to the ball?
	Oh, my God.
	The constant shout of show your tits.
	No.
	I'm going to be tossing and turning all night.
	Ever heard of Mardi Gras?
	Show me your tits.
	Oh, my God.
	Dave Matthews was a hornball.
	Today.
	The tragically hip got shouted down because they're Canadians.
	Oh, I had no idea.
	Boo.
	The carnage.
	Vern Troyer.
	Vern Troyer, who's one inch tall, felt unsafe.
	Yeah, so did Stuart Little.
	The me is falling.
	Mosquitoes were under duress.
	A truck randomly driving through the audience.
	Well, did it hit anyone?
	Runaway cops.
	Crowdsurfing.
	Yeah, crowdsurfing.
	There are few more unself-aware breaches of crowd etiquette worse than crowdsurfing during Elanis Morissette performance of Iran.
	She was getting fingered.
	What?
	She was getting fingered.
	But that didn't say that.
	It said just crowdsurfing at all.
	No, she didn't.
	During Elanis Morissette is unexpected.
	You're trying to finger her.
	Yeah, but it doesn't say that.
	There are few more, look, few more unself-aware, terrible grammar, breaches of crowd etiquette worse than crowdsurfing.
	I bet this is written by a woman.
	Go to the top.
	Of course.
	That's what I'm saying.
	I can tell by the grammar.
	Daniel Keck.
	I think it was even Lady Gaga.
	Maybe.
	You should say that.
	She went to crowdsurf.
	Look up Daniel Kepp.
	People were trying to finger her.
	Daniel.
	I'm like, what do you expect?
	Yeah, Lara Logan.
	These are people that I guarantee this kid did not live this.
	Oh, wait.
	Is he older?
	Let's see.
	No.
	Well, yeah, probably he lived it.
	What a pussy.
	He's a pussy.
	He wasn't there.
	No.
	Just look at him.
	Wouldn't that be funny if Alanis Morissette was crowdsurfing and some guy got his hand up her shorts and fingered her and she was like, oh, fuck yeah.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's hitting it right on the side.
	Don't fucking stop.
	Leave me right here.
	She gets there.
	The song ends and she's still like, oh, yeah.
	I'm going to do that song again.
	I'm going to come.
	Squirting.
	That's how you know she's on mess.
	Anyway, enough.
	Next call.
	You got 10,000 crowd members and all of them diddles your clips.
	Zach Ryan Show?
	I love that show.
	Hey guys, can you hear me?
	Yep.
	Yes, sir.
	I just want to say, okay, so Ryan's show, I clicked on it expecting nothing, and it was actually hilarious.
	He nailed the impressions, and it's like you listen to the show every day, and you don't really track with the impressions, but then when you actually hear the impression being done by someone else, it all comes together and it's hilarious.
	But I was actually, I had an idea for the Wednesday shows.
	The show with Compound is great, but it's a little short.
	It'd be cool if Ryan had his own one-hour show on Wednesdays to sort of bolster the programming.
	I don't know.
	I'm not against it.
	Ryan's mailbag was such a shit show that it was bad, not just for censored, but for me personally and Maddie.
	And Maddie wasn't even on the network at that time.
	True.
	Big fan, though.
	So he's failed so many times that I haven't even watched that episode yet, to be honest.
	I've watched parts of it.
	You should check it out.
	It opens strong and it tapers off because you can tell it doesn't necessarily have the crazy or the programming behind it that the main show does.
	But I think, Ryan, to your credit, you're not gay.
	And I think you're also a pretty funny guy.
	So I think he may have the talent to carry a show.
	If Joshua Cash can carry a show, Ryan can carry a show.
	Give me a break.
	Wait, so you think that it's cool to be not gay?
	That's all I need.
	Not to be kidding.
	Ryan can be the not gay Garrett of the network.
	Okay.
	Thanks for calling.
	Ryan, I'm just sending you a video of a gay Chinese guy.
	And like, I don't think I'm gay, but sometimes gays are so cool that you go, wow, you guys seem to have a lot of shit going on that's pretty awesome.
	And it's not like you consider being gay, but you go, I'm kind of jealous.
	You guys are having a ball.
	Yeah, you're having a lot of fun.
	You look cool.
	You dress cool.
	And you do cool shit.
	Like, check this out.
	New York Yankees.
	Lose the phone number.
	Nasty.
	Those are grubs.
	Thank God that person's wearing a New York Yankee shirt.
	You don't agree?
	Beoda?
	Those are grubs.
	Gavin, It's over.
	Is that like Gavin?
	Is that like loosely gelatinous fat in the bottom of a bowl?
	Oh, they definitely pop.
	There's all this juicy shoots out.
	Oh, yeah, there's lots of juice.
	Just like that juicy fat.
	Except the legs are kind of hard.
	They feel like little hairs.
	Yeah, those are little grubs.
	They're crunchy.
	And they probably still move after they're in your teeth, too.
	Like, they keep going.
	And you can feel like the pulsing in there, too.
	It feels like a little heart is inside of it.
	Fuck off.
	Fuck off.
	Fuck off.
	But those are grubs.
	You didn't like it?
	Gavin, do you think that's worse than what you ate in Costa Rica a couple weeks ago?
	A thousand times.
	All I ate in Costa Rica was a large tablespoon of mayonnaise, but it was fat.
	That is...
	I was too much offended.
	Let me ask you a question.
	That's what you eat in hell.
	You're a spoonful of mayonnaise.
	Could you eat a spoonful of mayonnaise?
	No, no, no.
	I'm trying to describe the fat.
	Like, in America, when you have fat on a steak, like Bubba and Hanks, it's like octopus.
	It's just chewy, and it's not the best.
	Right.
	But if it's in a little bit, you just give it some chews and it goes down.
	This was like...
	It's all texture for you.
	Yeah, it's all about texture.
	Now, if you put a spoon in a jar of mayonnaise and took it out and ate it, would that like make you bulk?
	That would be better than what I experienced.
	Really?
	But I don't want to do that.
	Because my cousin Miami Mike said the same thing the other day.
	I was cutting hard-boiled eggs in half and putting like a little cap of mayonnaise on it and just...
	Oh, that sounds delicious.
	And I was just...
	Yeah, that sounds great.
	And he would not eat it because it had the fucking little cap of mayonnaise on it.
	What I wanted to convey when I said that was that the fat wasn't like together and it was like...
	It was kind of gelatinous.
	Like hair gel.
	Because you were like...
	Well, that's the kind of thing you don't realize until it's in your mouth.
	Yeah, then you're like...
	Why do you sound like peewee over here?
	You don't want to...
	I should have just spat it in your nap.
	What was the fat, though?
	What was so...
	The pork?
	Pork.
	Yeah.
	Pork.
	I like that.
	So it was pulled pork at the top, which was delicious.
	It's pork rinds, which is not my cup of tea, but I like a little crunch once again.
	Yeah, a little crunch.
	So I can work with that.
	And then I start getting down to what these people call juicy.
	And I thought, we think of juicy as white people, we think of like butter and good things, not fucking mayo fat.
	Yeah, I was watching that episode and it was just like, I feel for him.
	The only time I've been that grossed out in this past year was I told you I was cleaning out the filter of the dishwasher and I pulled out a poodle skirt.
	Yeah, that would make me bolt.
	And it was that, it was those dogs that have dreads.
	It was that.
	And I was like, oh, maybe this is just wool and it's how they filter it.
	And then I touched it and they would start falling.
	Yeah, that's one of my favorite things.
	100 poodle dreads of 9 million meals.
	1,000 poodle dreads of 9 million meals pointing out the Mercury Lambs, by the way.
	That's the clip of the day, by the way, this whole dry heaving section, including the grubs.
	Yeah, that was terrible.
	Although I did feel for you when I watched it, I was like, oh, man, I understand that.
	When you get that, like, there's something.
	It's funny because there's no logic to it.
	Like, I could chop off, you know, a cow's head at a butcher and just be like, oh, we're having cow head today.
	Right.
	That wouldn't freak me out.
	But like, pouring out old milk when those balls come out of the thing and it goes plop, plop.
	Oh.
	Or old yoga.
	Old butter, rotten cheese, moldy bread.
	Yeah.
	I've held nothing.
	I might eat it.
	Scrape off the mold, toast it up.
	But curdled milk.
	Oh, my God.
	I'd rather see a dick.
	Yeah.
	Oh, it's the most stupid act we've ever had on the finals of ADT.
	That was true.
	Yeah, that was a bunch of frames.
	They're spinning into each other's mouths.
	I'll never forget the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life was when Fear Factor blended rats.
	Wow.
	Entire rats.
	Are you sure it was rats?
	Yes.
	With the hair and everything?
	The hair and everything.
	And then they drink it.
	And you're like, how is that legal?
	Dude, how do the doctors approve that?
	Are there laboratory rats that have been tested for every disease in the world?
	Yeah, did you like, I don't know.
	Are they freezing?
	Cryogenically freeze it?
	And what about all the bones?
	Crazy.
	Like, aren't the bones going to stick in your esophagus and cut your hands?
	I don't even want to fucking think of it.
	I can't cut your intestines.
	I used to watch that show and be like, half of it, like, the eyeballs.
	My thing is eyeballs.
	Can't do it.
	Rats are actually really good for you, man.
	That's my limit.
	Can't do it.
	They're really high in Omega-13.
	I don't give a fuck what they're high in.
	No, they're high, man.
	Joe Rogan got me great tickets in an MMA fight, and the guys behind me hated Joe Rogan.
	And they were like, you fucking ruin MMA, Rogan.
	And they go, let's fucking go.
	They didn't say a rat in a blender, but they're like, let's go eat some fucking spiders in a blender.
	Oh, my God, maggots.
	Turn it off.
	Turn it off.
	All right, wait.
	This is the African cave-dwelling spider.
	Have you seen that?
	That's why I can never be a garbage man.
	Yeah, it stinks, right?
	I can.
	Maggots aren't the worst in the universe, but they're pretty bad.
	It's supposed to be a joke, right?
	Pretty bad.
	Ooh, ooh.
	Like those big things that weren't that simple, the first one?
	Those were grubs.
	Those are really big, thick Maggots.
	Where's the one with the African cave-dwelling spider?
	That's the worst thing I've ever seen.
	No, that's not.
	Nothing's worse than maggots and grubs, dude.
	Yeah.
	Well, blended rats doesn't sound like that.
	Yeah, but you're right.
	It doesn't think of God.
	God doesn't want you near dead bodies.
	So anything maggoty, God sends you messages going, get the fuck away from that.
	Yeah.
	Same with shit.
	Yeah, I used to have a big fear.
	God isn't that worried about spiders.
	No.
	No.
	I'm not an arachnophobe.
	No, me neither.
	I didn't deal with spiders.
	I had a wolf spider in prison once.
	What?
	You what?
	A wolf spider.
	You ate one?
	No, no.
	I kept one.
	I found them in the yard.
	That was cool.
	I love two MD coffee jars, Folger jars, and I put them together, put sticks and stones.
	I used to find crickets in the yard and feed them.
	How long did you have them for?
	I had them for a good, probably six, seven, eight months.
	For the guards.
	Like, every time they would come do shelf saked downs, and they would.
	I tell them, listen, I got a fucking spider in there.
	You hear the crickets.
	And then one day one fucking dickhead took it.
	Some CO.
	Yeah, it went from being about the size of a quarter to about this big.
	They're probably not used to getting so much free food.
	It went from like a size of a quarter to like that big.
	Yeah, they don't make waves.
	They used to catch bees.
	I used to have guys in the kitchen catching all sorts of fly.
	I caught a couple like bees, like yellow jackets.
	And I'm like, oh man, it's going to sting the shit out of the spider.
	I had this fucking stick in there.
	I had a little V in it, like this.
	The fucking spider would go up into the V, and it would go.
	One.
	Kill them all.
	Yeah, I guess that's where they got the name Wolf Spider.
	Yeah.
	They don't make webs.
	They just jump.
	Okay, enough gross shit.
	I can't handle it anymore.
	I can feel my last cheeseburger right in here.
	I'm just trying to keep the...
	Yeah, no, wolf spiders are...
	Look at a wolf spider, though.
	They look cool.
	He used to sit up in that little crotch in the V of the stick, and he would just wait and just pounce on him.
	That's what they should do with convicts, is have more like terrariums.
	Hell yeah.
	That looks like a big fucking wolf spider.
	But maybe it's not.
	We're just close.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's what they look like.
	Like, literally, when I found him, he was about the size of a quarter.
	And then when I got done with him, he was like almost the size of a silver dollar.
	Wonder where he is today.
	I wonder if he's watching this episode right now.
	He was in Allenwood Cliff.
	That's my dad.
	Maddie.
	That's Maddie.
	Maddie, we have a surprise for you.
	He's here.
	This is your life.
	Ladies and gentlemen.
	He's super old now.
	He's like, Maddie was my closest friend.
	He's crying his eyes out.
	I used to feed him crickets, flies.
	I remember.
	And bees.
	The best bees a wolf spider could ever hope for.
	We'd be walking the track, and I'd hear the crickets going, and I'd be like, shh.
	And I'd reach out and just grab the crickets, hold them in my hand until I went back to my unit.
	They used to call you little monster, but then you said, no, you're my little monster.
	Yeah, wolf spiders are no joke.
	They're great.
	My funnest pet I ever had was, and it's illegal to do this, was getting red Fs, salamanders upstate.
	What's insane?
	Building a terrarium with a little pond.
	And it's not like a fish thing where it has to be clean.
	That's when you lived upstate, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	In Berryville.
	Yeah, yeah.
	We had like 13 in there.
	I go to a pet store, get a bunch of crickets.
	They're fucking beautiful.
	Yeah.
	They're fluorescent red.
	And you watch them eat the crickets.
	They last forever.
	I want to go up to the bottom of the bed.
	Same type of thing.
	Tomorrow.
	Like, you know, I'm walking through the yard.
	I see on a fence the fucking big spider web with a little spider in it.
	I just grab the spider and I'm taking this motherfucker back with me.
	Like the same thing with the red eye.
	You're not supposed to do it, but I'm going to do it anyway.
	You make prison sound pretty fun.
	No, it's not fun.
	Sounds like a nature camp.
	Welcome to Bear Hill Nature Camp.
	Please write a letter to Max and John, by the way.
	Yeah.
	At the end of the show.
	Oh, nice.
	What are you saying?
	No, I'm just saying, like, yeah, prison's great.
	You could have spiders there.
	That's all types of vermin.
	Yeah.
	For real, right?
	Okay, let's take another call.
	And if you tell them real fast, that was two hours?
	First time back.
	If you complain and say there's a roach near my cell, how quick do they go?
	Oh, they freak.
	No, look, I don't know a lot about prison, but if a prisoner complains about a cockroach, any kind of inconvenience, they freak out because they don't want a bad Yelp review.
	That's true.
	So they run in, they get exterminators, they get you all new sheets, right, Maddie?
	Well, part of our first interview ever was on free speech and how Epstein was complaining that there's roaches and this and that.
	You're an MDC in Manhattan.
	I mean, MCC, 150 Park Row.
	It's a high-rise in Manhattan.
	Of course you've got roaches.
	You must not even notice roaches.
	You just notice anywhere.
	Like seeing frogs in Puerto Rico.
	You're just like, yeah.
	Or Kecko, like in Florida.
	Yeah, it's just there.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	You don't even, it doesn't register.
	And most of them aren't even roaches.
	They're giant water bugs.
	With the wings that can fly?
	Yeah.
	You know that chick that I'm going to get on the show, Nikki Klein?
	Yes.
	So when her guy there, the Nexium guy, was in, is it MDC or MCC?
	Well, MDC is in Brooklyn, which is Metropolitan Detention Center.
	It's on 3rd Avenue and 27th Street in Sunset Park, Brooklyn.
	Okay.
	That's a pre-trial detention center.
	That's, I think, where he was.
	Then you have MCC, which is Metropolitan Correctional Center, which is at 150 Park Row in Manhattan.
	Right, in Lower Manhattan there, by City Hall and all that.
	I've been in both.
	MCC is where Epstein was.
	So what she started doing is playing music.
	I think it was MCC, but playing music on boom boxes and dancing, which sounds kind of gay, but in the context of someone at the end of their rope is kind of cool.
	And they could see them.
	So they'd see these people outside dancing, listening to music, and they, you know, I sound like a hippie right now, but it was really inspiring for them.
	Well, there was a point in time, not too long ago, when the city had a huge blackout, and they were like kind of like flashing their emergency lights and MDC was on the news and everything.
	And they had no heat and all this crazy kind of shit.
	I mean, both, you know, your high-rise buildings in New York City.
	One's in Brooklyn, one's in Manhattan.
	Of course, there's people all around you.
	Like in MCC we used to go to our recreation was on the roof.
	So you see like the the crown like uh what was it, uh 100 um 100 Police Plaza and all that shit way downtown.
	Yeah.
	So you can see like you can see the city skyline to a degree.
	MDC you had what they called rect decks.
	It was like kind of cages on the outside of the building so you got like border views of like the Gowanus Canal and all that bullshit.
	Well when when most people hear, oh she would play music and dance around and you go, oh, I'm glad someone who fucked a baby got to have a little fucking entertainment.
	And that brings up the question of how many of those guys in there are bad people that shouldn't be in society that assaulted a bunch of people for no reason, that raped someone, that fucking murdered someone.
	I think it's five.
	Five.
	Listen, I've been there.
	I've been in Lewisburg, United States Penitentiary, USP Lewisburg.
	I've been in FCI Allenwood.
	I've been in NDC Brooklyn.
	I've been in MCC Manhattan.
	I've been in countless county jails.
	There's five, I would say 5% of the inmate population that are just pure animals.
	Evil.
	Evil, destructive.
	They wake up and their whole mentality is just to hurt and maim and destroy, and that's it.
	It's not a joke.
	There are people who have domestics that are bullshit, domestics that are real, drug, guys desperate to get money for drugs and they rob a store.
	85% of the people are drug-related.
	Yeah.
	I've heard even higher than that.
	Yeah.
	85% of the people.
	Drug-related is pretty big.
	I've seen people in jail with extensive sentences for what they call steering.
	Now, these are kids that grow up in the neighborhood that have no idea what the fuck is going on.
	They're not making any money.
	They're not working for the drug dealers.
	But if you walk down their street and you said, hey, I'm looking to cop some dope.
	I'm looking to cop some Coke.
	I'm looking to cop, whatever you're looking to cop.
	And I say, all right, listen, go down to that fucking door right there.
	Go in there, knock on the third door, and ask for so-and-so.
	They would get caught up in the conspiracy and get charged with what they call steering because you're steering the customers to the drug dealers.
	But by the same token, with all this revolving door bail shit that de Blasio is pushing.
	Oh, now you're...
	When you finally get into jail, you fucked up like 37 times.
	Well, now, listen, not in 2018.
	My bail was quarter of a million dollars.
	If I got arrested now for the same charge in today, 2021, it'd be nothing.
	Zero.
	Zero.
	We better get you.
	We'll do the bar one.
	What happened was, I mean, because I would be, I'm already a three-time felon.
	I would have to wait to go in front of a county court judge because a local, like say if I got arrested in Yonkers, the Yonkers judge couldn't set my bail because I'm already a three-time felon.
	So they would have to kick me up to county court and I would go to county court and then they would release me.
	Because let's do some crimes.
	Yeah.
	If you were going to do a crime right now, you had some planning, you had a week.
	I had a week.
	What would you do?
	Right now?
	In the sense that...
	Who's going to clean your toilets, Mr. Trump?
	Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
	Should we rob a bank?
	Should we rape a baby?
	Should we do identity theft?
	You know what?
	I've seen people.
	I've watched the news and watched the locals.
	And people are getting caught for burglary and commercial burglary and all sorts of crazy stuff.
	And they're getting released within an hour.
	You know what I would do?
	Attack an old Asian lady, throw her down the stairs.
	You know what the big thing is right now?
	Oh, no, dollar.
	Is people are coming from Connecticut.
	Fuck them, man.
	And they're coming to Westchester, to the suburbs, and they're robbing high-end vehicles.
	And they're sending down miners, not only miners, but like from 15 to 19, because they know if they get caught, they're going to be out in an hour.
	But I have a high-end vehicle.
	Go ahead and rob it right now.
	What are you going to get?
	Insurance.
	What do you mean, insurance?
	You have insurance.
	I don't have shit in my car.
	Oh, you mean steal the actual car?
	Steal the actual car.
	But the alarm will go off.
	Oh, there's listeners.
	Hot wiring a BMW in 2021.
	You know, your key is electronically encoded to your vehicle.
	Now they have machines.
	If you can remember the conversation you and me and my buddy Dean were having the other night.
	About the cell phones?
	Of cell phones, credit cards.
	Same type of thing.
	All those encrypted electronic keys.
	You can take my key out of the air.
	I could read the signal from your key and take your car without it ever going off.
	Right now, from where you're sitting, you could get my BMW key and your Range Rover if you were here.
	Both.
	I could get both the codes and then take your car.
	Do the car need to be nearby too?
	It would probably be preferable, but yeah.
	Because it's all RF.
	You know what?
	If you guys are that, if that criminal is that capable, you got a BMW, buddy.
	You're not talking about...
	But this is what I'm saying.
	It's the big guy hiring all these little guys saying, hey, listen, take these keys.
	Let's go down and check all the RFs and see which ones work.
	RFs.
	Radio frequency.
	And then, you know, you put your Keys in, and they're turning your cars on, and going.
	They do the same thing with garage door openers.
	Really?
	There's only a certain amount of frequency for garage door openers.
	So you take one that's programmed with a bunch of them, you just drive down the street, and you hit the one, and whatever garage door opens, you're in the house.
	I had no idea we were that vulnerable.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you could.
	Ryan, what happened then?
	Episode 36 and 37 of Katie Hopkins.
	I don't know.
	Let's see.
	Did you fuck up again for a change?
	Anyway, we'll discuss our private business later.
	Let's do one more call.
	Okay.
	I think my mic died.
	Oh, fuck.
	Can you hear me, Ryan?
	No.
	No, Ryan's wearing headphones, so he would know if your mic died because he's competent.
	That goes into the computer.
	Only the callers hear that.
	Okay.
	Tim.
	Tim.
	Kevin.
	Yeah.
	Kevin, Rye Guy.
	Hold up.
	Not Maddie?
	You don't want Maddie in on this?
	Should Maddie leave?
	No.
	No, I wanted to compliment Maddie, but I know you get jealous.
	I just wanted to say I've been a subscriber a long time.
	I remember you talking about National Review and a meeting you went to years ago.
	Yeah, I was just thinking about that the other night.
	They were so worried about what the deep time spot of them.
	And I remember hearing that, and I've been a subscriber for National Review for a long time, and I was like, really?
	And then I saw Trump, how they completely showed their belly of, we're not like Trump.
	We're not D-Class A like him.
	Don't let us, they just completely surrendered.
	I remember Rich Lowry, when you were getting crap for the Proud Boys, was like, I don't think the Proud Boys did anything wrong, but David should have known that he wanted to give a fair shake on this.
	Yeah, he had a really weird take.
	I remember there was a New York Post, well, New York Post reprinted it, but Rich Lowry had this take where he was like, Gavin's language is toxic and violent.
	And I'm like, yeah, what's the matter with toxicity and violence?
	We're up against a toxic and violent counterculture called fucking Antifa.
	What do you want to do with them?
	Have the UN ambassador send them a note?
	Those guys have always been huge white-belly pussies who I don't really know who they're trying to appeal to because there's no way in hell the New York Times is ever going to take Rich Lowry and National Review seriously, no matter how much ass they eat.
	Never.
	That's what drives me insane.
	And they will just, I remember Ramish Pan wrote, I'm a big pro-life guy.
	That's been my thing all along.
	And I remember Trump's been the most pro-life president in history.
	And even the pro-life supposed guys at National Review were like, I'm so hot voting for him.
	It's like, what is the point of you?
	If you're not going to stand up at anything, it's just been this, give us the campaign donation, subscribe, but we're not going to do anything.
	We're going to keep surrendering like Paul Ryan kept doing.
	And then Trump stands up and starts fighting and they turn against us.
	It's just I can't figure it out.
	Is it class?
	Maybe, like, Rich Lowry grew up poor.
	His parents were teachers.
	Maybe he's so desperate to be accepted by the elites that he'll do anything possible.
	And Andrew McCarthy, that night you're talking about, by the way, that story he's talking about, I'm sure you've heard before, where they were talking with ISIS.
	And it was just like this, but it was back when Andrew McCarthy wrote a book called Free Speech and Islam.
	And we had a dinner party later, and it was all national with you guys.
	And they said, I think what ISIS is doing now is they're trying to flank the West Bank and the, not the West Bank, but you know what I mean, Syria and talking about their strategy.
	And I'd had a few drinks and I was like, why the fuck are we talking about a bunch of inbred animals like they have any kind of grand plan here?
	They're fucking, and they all just turned to the New York Times reporter and went, no, no, I don't even know who that is.
	I don't know what's going on.
	Whoa.
	And Andrew McCarthy, by the way, the guy who the whole dinner party was made for, he's the cock sucker who threw John Derbyshire under the bus and had him fired for National Review for doing the talk, but about whites.
	The talk is the famous talk where blacks say, you know, you're going to be beaten up by cops and you live in a shitty place.
	So he parodied that, and it was essentially satire.
	And he said, all right, you want to play the talk?
	I'll do a talk to my kids.
	They're half Asian, but they're going to be seen as whites.
	Hey, guys, if you see a black guy on the side of the road and he seems to be in distress, this was one of the harsher ones, don't pull over.
	It's not safe.
	Keep driving.
	And he was fired from National Review for that, even though he wrote it for Tacky Mag.
	Yep.
	And I would go back to Coulter years ago when she said, regarding the New York Times or any of them nonetheless, like, they're into infanticide.
	Infanticide.
	They want to kill babies.
	Why do you want to be friends with these people?
	Yeah.
	Say we were headbangers in high school and we're in the smoking section and our hair goes down to our tits and we have like Venom shirts on and one of us goes, I really want to fuck the head of the cheerleading squad.
	And I'm like, what?
	They don't like us.
	We don't like them.
	We have nothing.
	What?
	Why are you trying to get in with cheerleaders, dude?
	We have like metal chicks with tattoos.
	Why are you trying?
	They have zero.
	They'll never fuck you in a million years.
	Yep.
	Does that go back to the it's humiliating?
	They're the very definition of cucks.
	And the Rick's Lowry one when he wouldn't defend you.
	The derb stuff I saw earlier.
	I was like, you guys are Jonah Goldberg all throwing him under the bus.
	I was like, oh my gosh.
	I subscribed to you clowns for years.
	Yeah, Jonah Goldberg.
	It's always like, oh, they're de classe.
	Oh, they use vulgar language.
	Oh, we don't stoop to their level.
	You sound like a fucking monarch.
	What are we in the king's palace?
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Now I'm mad.
	I was going to say, what does that go back to, like, you always want what you can't have?
	Is that it?
	Maybe.
	I think Trump has a bit of that.
	I think Trump likes wasps and he loves Tucker and he knows that he's seen his Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack.
	And he's like, I'm in country clubs, but I'm not considered old money because I'm not old money.
	He was actually at a club he used to belong to years ago, a couple of weeks ago.
	I was there doing an event in Wingfoot in my mouth.
	Oh, yeah.
	All the liberals protested it.
	Oh, and he was there, and somebody took a classic picture, said, hey, who left these at the clubhouse?
	And it was a red, white, and blue leather bag.
	And it said, DJT 45.
	Really?
	Oh, yeah.
	Nice.
	That was his golf bag.
	He used to be a member there at Wingfoot Country Club.
	That's the club we're talking about.
	Maybe because I'm British, or we're British, but the thing I resent about it is this whole, like, you know, when you have blue-collar people who start doing a nicer accent and they try to sound a little more erudite.
	And yeah, actually, and I'll go, you're from fucking Croydon.
	Why are you talking like that?
	I mean, I did it for work.
	And then I'll go, do your real accent.
	And they're like, I can't do it anymore.
	It's good.
	Let me ask you a question.
	Social climbing is nauseating.
	Does your parents have any younger or older siblings?
	Oh, yeah, tons.
	Because my mother, like, there was 11 of them.
	My mother, so the older ones spoke a totally different dialect.
	Well, yeah.
	Now the younger, same both.
	My younger aunts and uncles are totally, totally different.
	More working class?
	Sounds like that?
	Less, I guess, I would say at that point in time, a little less working class.
	Because my dad has that stupid, like, how out of my body.
	Absolutely.
	And he claims he's over-enunciating to so Canadians and Americans can understand him.
	But when he says that, I look over at my mother and she's like, oh, for fuck's sake.
	Exactly.
	And my aunt Irene, she also has this, like, like, we were driving through the Gorbals once in Glasgow.
	And I go, oh, that's where you and Dad used to live.
	And she goes, not really.
	And she goes, we are McKinnis.
	We don't like to look back in life.
	We like to always move forward.
	They're always worried about their post-class.
	They pass your house.
	I'm not saying you're trash.
	They're all worried about their postcode.
	Yeah.
	I hate that shit.
	I have family that grew up in Morse Park, Bears Den.
	They're kind of like higher up in the social economic things in my family.
	But I've had things down in Kingston next to the Gorbals.
	That's where you came from.
	It's boring eugenics shit.
	I noticed this with the boomers too.
	We're Gen X. Boomers are really into, they'll go, yeah, well, so my uncle, his father is a Davis, and this is of Davis tires.
	And you're like, okay.
	Fantastic.
	Wow.
	You're a tire, you're related loosely to the tire industry.
	Right.
	Congratulations.
	Or celebrities they love too.
	Like, oh yeah, you know, Faye Dunaway.
	So her father was my cousin's great-grandfather.
	I don't fucking care.
	Aren't she with matters?
	Yeah, it's kind of funny because I have, there's such a, in the 11 brothers and sisters, there's such a variation of decades that some speak a certain way and the younger siblings speak a different way.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I would say all my dad's siblings are in working class denial.
	I wouldn't say my dad is, but his accent sure fucking sounds like it.
	Yeah.
	And it's the least likable thing about Britain is this obsession with class.
	Because you'll learned.
	Well, that goes back to the...
	America's nouveau riche, so we're kind of unique.
	But you've learned over time that there's boring rich people and interesting rich people, and there's boring poor people and interesting poor people.
	Like Tacky Theodore Kopoulos is one of the richest guys I know.
	The guy's a fucking riot.
	He's a maniac.
	He went to prison on a lark because he said to the woman at customs, I'm glad you didn't check that bag.
	And then he said, I love prison.
	I got to meet everyone from my judo club.
	And then you have some other rich square like Rich, well, Rich Lowry's not rich, but like Jonah Goldberg.
	Who is like a fucking, I would rather die than have him.
	Far in the wind.
	Anyway.
	That's so fucking funny.
	So true.
	We gave you way too much gold tonight.
	Should we tease Jose sent the COVID background?
	Brand new fucking.
	It looks awesome.
	I owe Jose a thousand bucks.
	Jose?
	Oh, he was one of the winners.
	Jose!
	Jose!
	Jose!
	Jose!
	Jose.
	We're not doing bad, right?
	We won the game last night.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Still third, but I feel like we're one win away from replacing the Phillies in number two.
	Here we go.
	Number two.
	The Mets only suck a little.
	The Metropolitans.
	Let's fucking go, Mets.
	There's the Mets going up to number two.
	That's my goal, number two.
	So we tease it or are we watching this bumper?
	I mean, not the bumper, the background.
	Let's watch the background.
	Tease it.
	Let's not tease it.
	Bam.
	Awesome.
	In the one shot?
	God, that guy's talented.
	And you're there with like some Chinese.
	He's always got like the triangle.
	That triangle is so classy.
	Very impressed with the little vial.
	Imagine it had a little thing that said hate.
	Like, he didn't get it.
	He was like, how about in this one?
	Imagine it was just kitty porn.
	He snuck in and we didn't notice.
	We didn't notice until the fifth episode that there was like some four-year-olds.
	Like those haunted houses that use real horns.
	You saw that with the serial killers when they were trying to catch BTK.
	No.
	He had drawn a thing with these spectacles.
	It was a pair of glasses laying on a desk.
	And then they put the words, call the chief now.
	And they thought that if they showed the subliminal message in the middle of the newscast, that he would get the message and call the chief.
	Remember that one?
	Oh, there we go.
	What are you doing?
	Yeah, that's it right there.
	Weird.
	There was this one like child musty guy that was like he spun his picture like this, like he put it in a Photoshop and spun his face so you couldn't see it.
	And then somebody just unspun it.
	Oh, yeah, I remember that one.
	Enough content.
	Yeah.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	Thanks, Maddie, for coming to the show.
	See you next week.
	Happy week.
	Love you guys.
	And never stop fighting.

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