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June 21, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:54:02

S04E01 - NEW STUDIO

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My One with Kevin McGuinness.
	Can't even tell myself the coffee cup.
	Don't even know there's bad ideas, where do I begin?
	Where do I start?
	Where do I begin?
	That was waking up.
	Is that what it's called?
	The Chemical Brothers?
	Where do I begin?
	Where do I begin?
	Yes, sorry.
	I always called 4 a.m. for some reason, but that's Hack Baker.
	Similar kind of vibes.
	We'll be discussing that and other songs that start out awesome and become shitty.
	But what do you think?
	I think, yeah.
	New studio.
	We're back.
	Yes, that was a lame joke on Thursday where we pretended we were done.
	Some of you fell for it.
	Very few, though.
	I think 90% of the people went, ha ha, they're moving to the new studio.
	You got us.
	We worked tirelessly from the end of that show till now to make sure we ironed out the kinks.
	I think we did a pretty good job.
	We'll take you on an office tour any second now.
	Ryan, what do you think?
	What do you think of your new digs?
	I'm thinking, yeah.
	That's from a movie and I don't know.
	I've never seen it.
	John Wick?
	A lot of people are getting really concerned about your hair.
	What do you mean?
	They just, they think that it's not acceptable.
	It is acceptable and it rules.
	Who says that?
	Well, okay, now it looks bad, but once I touch it a little bit, touch it a little bit.
	It becomes good.
	But it's in your eyes.
	That's like a phase you go through when you're 13.
	Like a shady teenager.
	Yeah, it's a phase.
	Why don't you show everyone the cool cam you have?
	We spent a lot of money fixing up this studio.
	The cool cam?
	Is your phone on?
	Turn your phone off.
	Look at your cool tape dispenser there.
	Yeah, this is if I need some tape.
	Just like that.
	Cool.
	So yeah, this camera does some cool things and it spins.
	Like it could spin to you.
	My lighting is weird.
	Your lighting is better than mine.
	There's me.
	And then I can zoom in on you.
	Okay.
	Zoom in on me.
	There you go.
	Got a fat neck.
	And now let's see the studio.
	Oh, you want to like use the...
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	We're right on the main boulevard, so you may hear sirens and trucks reversing and stuff.
	There we go.
	What do you think?
	I think good.
	What are you asking them?
	I'm asking them.
	I don't like how the couch hides my son's brilliant design.
	Yeah, it's not ideal.
	But we'll take you on a tour of that.
	But yeah, that song, Waking Up, is such a good song.
	And I want to put it on mixes.
	But when I was a kid and we made mixed tapes with the tape-to-tape, that's the thing you ask for when you're like 13.
	You beg your parents for a tape-to-tape start.
	Are you changing the lighting as we talk?
	That's not very professional, Ryan.
	And you make a mixed tape.
	And you go, you start with a slow song.
	It gets kind of faster.
	Throw a ballad in there once in a while.
	It gets kind of heavy.
	Then you got to heavy it out.
	Maybe if you want to do reggae, maybe you would segue with the bad brains.
	It's a real art form.
	You should make them for girls all the time and parties and stuff.
	And you would listen to it for a while before you made it public.
	And then you'd be bummed that that song is in there.
	It doesn't belong in there.
	So then you would re-record the entire thing from scratch because you can't just pull out a song and move everything over on a cassette.
	And the beauty of it was if a song started out awesome and sucked, you could just cut it when it started to suck.
	I don't know how to do that now.
	I don't even know.
	We moved up to CDs, making mixes on CDs, and you could like, I guess, record your own MP3 and like edit it in .move and then export it as an MP3 and then pull it in.
	But that was a pain in the ass.
	And now I guess people make mixes on Spotify, but I wouldn't know what to do with that song.
	So listen to that song.
	Let's go back to that sweet jam.
	Is there a video for it?
	Not for this one.
	There's got to be.
	Chemical Brothers were huge.
	Huge in the 90s.
	I'm looking it up here.
	Let's see.
	Where do I be?
	Oh.
	So you just confidently said there's no video for it, unfortunately.
	Is this fan-made or?
	I don't know.
	Why'd you confidently say?
	See, notice there's well, there's a glare on that top one, actually.
	Wait, why'd you put on that light?
	That light's not supposed to be on.
	I could hit that off.
	Yeah, why'd you do that, you stupid retard?
	We'll be obviously ironing out some kinks here.
	Much better.
	And it doesn't change the lighting at all.
	So, cool little guitar, right?
	And it's about like being a partier and waking up wasted in some strange bed.
	And then skip ahead.
	I can't hear it very well.
	Can you turn it up?
	I like how it sort of makes when I stand seem shitty.
	Are you turning up on the speaker?
	Where do I start?
	Where do I begin?
	Ladies, stop being sluts.
	It's not good for you.
	It's not healthy.
	Not knowing where you woke up last night.
	Isn't that rape?
	Isn't it rape if you don't remember it?
	And I'm not really saying he raped her.
	I'm saying they raped each other.
	Stop raping each other, you losers.
	And they slowly build it up.
	I was thinking of making this a gym mix and putting this on at the gym.
	And this would be the first song because it gets you into it.
	Long-ass intro, man.
	Maybe I shouldn't.
	Sir, skip ahead more.
	This song doesn't kick until now?
	Okay, so go back to where it kicks in.
	Where do I start?
	Where do I begin?
	She says it again and again.
	Great for raves when you're on GHB in the 90s.
	So now everyone's pumped.
	Whether it's hitting the heavy bag or dancing, you just made the party.
	Good work.
	And then keep going a bit.
	Then it starts, you get into this shit.
	You don't have to do the big, huge one.
	Do camera one.
	So go ahead.
	Oh, this video, I think, cuts it off.
	Nice.
	We'll go back to the other song now.
	This is a terrible intro to the show.
	We might even have to re-record this because we're not debuting very well.
	Go back to the other, where do I begin?
	Because it has this like I don't know what they were thinking.
	They ruined it.
	This is the same song.
	What do you think?
	Look, my wrinkled eye is back.
	I'll fix that mode.
	And then the other song, you know what?
	This isn't working.
	This whole segment is shitty.
	And just like that song should have been abandoned early, I'm abandoning this segment of songs that started awesome and become shitty.
	The other one I was going to do was Carry On My Wayward Son.
	That's a track.
	That's a jam at the beginning.
	Carry on my wayward son.
	I'll be there when you are gone.
	Found him, bandow.
	And then you're like, this is awesome.
	And then it's just like, wee.
	Keyboards, like guys jamming.
	It sounds like they're at guitar center testing out their shit.
	Dope.
	Great idea.
	A cappello cold open.
	See, this is when bands get too good.
	This is why punk was invented.
	Because it was all noodling.
	Now just jump anywhere into the song.
	It's starting now.
	You don't like the piano part?
	That which part?
	The organs?
	Coming up.
	Oh yeah, that's okay.
	That's kind of like sticks.
	That's not terrible.
	That would be a nice breakdown in a different song.
	But like, why did you...
	And now just jump towards the end.
	They're just jamming.
	Like this shit.
	What are you doing?
	Okay, now, um...
	Now look at that other song, Air of Night, with Phil Collins.
	Is that the one?
	And then it's over.
	It ends with the budoom badam badum badam boom.
	I think there's a good video that was in a commercial with an ape doing it.
	Remember that one?
	See if you can pull that up.
	Find me the ape.
	But yeah, they should have hired Andrew WK in a time machine to take that do doom badum badump and did like da da da da da da da.
	You could have had a real party after that.
	That animal's miserable.
	Look, it's washing itself.
	Oh, it's up.
	Real.
	Is that real?
	No.
	CGI?
	No, animatronic.
	How do you know?
	Look at it.
	If it was CGI, they would make it do more stuff facially.
	Like they zoomed in the nostrils to be like, look, we can make the nostrils move.
	You gotta stop looking down at the monitor.
	Cadbury Gorilla.
	Advert.
	I don't think that's animatronics though.
	Look how confident you are.
	Oh, it's a guy in a suit.
	Yeah, but look at how confident you were when it was animatronics.
	It's animatronics.
	The face is animatronics.
	The guy's nostrils aren't flaring, and then the puppet does that.
	We got a half.
	This is a half-suit, a hybrid.
	You're never wrong, you people.
	Look at his nose.
	Millennials are never wrong.
	That's not animatronics?
	So what is he opening his eyes?
	They taped it to his eyelids?
	I think the whole thing could be CGR.
	That's not CGR.
	I don't know.
	That's not CGG.
	This is three words Millennials cannot pronounce.
	I don't know.
	I know.
	I know.
	It's Animatronics.
	And he plays the drums.
	It's animatronics and a guy in a suit.
	This is the guy who calls out all those fake videos.
	But jump to the end.
	It actually goes drummy more than I thought it would.
	We approve.
	Cool.
	Great stuff.
	Syncing is off.
	Is that our fault?
	Yeah, it's a little off.
	Is that a form of lagging?
	Technically, it's just the latency between this and the screen.
	We got it down to the very low, but the game mode.
	Because the gamers like their quickness.
	Yeah, and then it just fades off.
	Alright, that was my segment that seemed like a great idea at the time.
	I feel like we should probably do the studio tour.
	Everyone's dying to know, right?
	You're chomping at the bit.
	You're seeing a guy that you see every day in a new environment.
	You're like, can I see the environment, please?
	I'm confused.
	Don't you think?
	Although, maybe we should talk about this delay that we have with the drums.
	No?
	Let me see someone talking.
	Play a YouTube video of someone talking.
	And if they see this and it's not linked up, that's going to be some really bad news.
	And I will not be impressed with you.
	Let's see what comes up on the other side.
	Just so you know, with the office, I did the design.
	I did all the gayness.
	I did the design, the layout.
	Decided what goes where.
	And then Ryan and our tech guy.
	Let me hear?
	We need to be moving.
	Well, this is probably the worst possible thing we could do.
	Let's go.
	The English guy talking about it.
	President Biden wants predictability and stability.
	Is that what you want?
	Terrible.
	It's 37.
	Well, put it on game mode.
	That's going to take too long.
	I'll do that after the most important thing.
	We figured out this problem.
	We put it on game mode.
	Well, it's not working.
	Well, it might not be on game mode.
	Well, can you do that?
	It'll take too long.
	Yeah, because the bezels are hidden.
	But look at it here.
	Look at this.
	Have you seen these new overlays?
	But with an angle?
	There's zero lag.
	But maybe at some point.
	Yeah.
	Well, now we've got to see.
	Anyway, we're boring the people at home with nuance.
	Let's take out your phone and we'll do a tour.
	Hook up your phone with a computer.
	Alright, well, let's start with your room.
	This is the fag zone.
	Oh, he's got the police, one of the worst bands ever, most annoying vocals with sting.
	It's got their worst record, synchronicity.
	Hate has no home here.
	My neighbors terrorize my family with this sign.
	They put it on my lawn, my neighbor's lawn, and then all the homes in the area put this on their lawn.
	So this is traumatizing for me to have to see every day.
	My wife actually put it inside our house to try to desensitize herself from it.
	Like the N-word, which is ironically what got us in this mess in the first place.
	This is a gift I gave Ryan.
	Look, it's a Trump vodka chalkboard from a bar.
	You can write all your stuff there.
	He's got some other stuff.
	He's got his own fridge.
	Let's see what's going on in Ryan's fridge.
	This does rule.
	Lacroix, of course, calorie-free.
	I did cheat.
	I had a little bit of Coca-Cola.
	Cheat.
	What a faggot.
	Hence the name.
	Look at all this new equipment, though.
	New TriCaster.
	And that's the same soundboard, right?
	Correct.
	How much did that TriCaster run us?
	About 10 grand.
	But we'll have no more lagging.
	Yeah, there's been zero lag.
	And what about Skype calls?
	Skype calls?
	I'm pessimistic.
	Yeah, me too.
	Good, good.
	Getting more realistic.
	Realistic, pessimistic.
	This is my desk, of course.
	My desk is made of doors.
	Oh, I've got a groove in here.
	I keep forgetting.
	I'm going to add an LED light underneath it.
	Heck, I literally said that.
	Great idea.
	Me.
	That's why there's a groove there.
	My buddy Matt made this.
	He's a liberal.
	This desk was made by a white liberal with a Jewish wife and Jewish kids.
	Not a lot of straight, white, waspy all-American males are responsible for this office, I'm afraid.
	This backdrop, now the problem with putting TVs on TV is the glare.
	But what we did was we tilted them a little bit.
	And you'll notice when you look at the Y, they're sort of like concave or whatever.
	What are you doing there?
	Getting creative?
	Just showing them.
	This audio is going to be weird, right?
	And then show people what I see.
	So I see this big monitor below the camera.
	I open up ruining the magic here.
	And I try to keep my eyes up here because it looks weird to be looking down.
	You look ashamed of yourself.
	Got my little clock here to know where we're at.
	This part of the studio is nothing.
	We might have a collapsible ping pong table we store here.
	If I paint it white, you wouldn't notice, right?
	And then here is, look at this setup.
	Stand back a bit.
	This is my pride and joy.
	And to Tucker Carlson and Dave Rubin and Candace Owens, stop hiring people to design your studios.
	They look like shit.
	They look like something out of a crate and barrel catalog.
	All these weird little knickknacks you have, like a ball made of twine and like a bowl with three big acorns in it.
	Like, what are you doing?
	That's...
	Are you a 50-year-old fucking liberal cunt housewife?
	Why are you doing that?
	That's not who you are.
	So I had this vision from day one.
	Built up this fake wall and then put two giant lights on either side.
	These lights are for like lighting up a mechanics garage.
	And then my little Vietnamese buddy made this.
	So that's A, that's B. Got a loose site table, some nice Emes chairs.
	And this will be where I'll sit down.
	Scenes are tiny bit awkward now.
	We'll see how it works.
	But I'll sit down with celebrities.
	Ann Coulter, Roger Stone, Michelle Malkin, people like that.
	Do something new, maybe get into their whole life.
	Like, where were you born?
	What was it like growing up?
	So this is the celebrity room.
	I'm saying that because there's another interview room coming right up.
	And I want it to look sort of like we're dead.
	We're in heaven here.
	Or we're in like some sort of space-time continuum.
	Well, if they're sitting across and looking at you, do they think they made it to heaven?
	They're like, this might be bad news.
	We're dead.
	Well, they just think hell's really nice.
	JK.
	So that's the white room, and then the black room is the bar.
	Get it?
	Black and white.
	There's nothing in between.
	This I took from my house.
	Dude, I was bummed about it for a while.
	When we had another tech guy here and two other guys, I said, let's rent a dolly and get this out of there.
	It ended up just being Ryan and I. Bringing this here was AIDS.
	And it wasn't just, you know, when you lift a lot and you go, oh, this is really heavy.
	It's hard on my muscles.
	I'm going to put my back out.
	It was that.
	But it was also a lot of pain.
	Weird pains, like someone was stabbing you in the wrists.
	And then also a lot of like, I can't break, I didn't break, I got to, put it up, put it up, put it up, put it up, put it up.
	And then the other guy going, get put it up, don't do it.
	Don't do that, don't do that, don't do that.
	What do you think it weighs?
	500 pounds?
	It feels like, yeah, yeah.
	It feels like 500 pounds.
	And it's awkward.
	There's nothing to hold on to.
	No.
	It's the real deal.
	The problem is, I'm not going to push a button because the audio will start.
	This kick doesn't work.
	One of these buttons doesn't work.
	But I'm too good at this, so I'll use it as the handicap.
	And then the guests can use the perfect one.
	For three grand, I think you can get these stand-up games that have 3,000 games.
	I'm going to get that for my home.
	Moving right along here, we have the bar.
	Now, this is totally different than that studio.
	The bar is like Vietnam vets, plumbers, tradesmen, sit and talk to them about how to become a plumber.
	Such that when you're done watching it, you know how to become a plumber.
	You know what I mean?
	Vietnam vet, like, I want to get into the details, like a three-hour talk where you find out when you were drafted.
	How did it feel?
	Like, did you take the bus to the airport?
	What kind of plane did you get on to go to Vietnam?
	Was it a boat?
	You got lots of booze.
	That was very expensive.
	Miners Cabin in Lead Hills, Scotland.
	This is Penny Rimbeau and G. Vaucher when they were in art school.
	I took this at their house and then printed it out.
	I don't think they'd be very happy.
	They don't really like me anymore.
	G Vaucher made this.
	My mother hates it.
	She says it's trivializing the war vets.
	I'm like, no, no, no.
	It's the opposite of that.
	It's saying like they're meant to put on a positive, happy face when we send them to die.
	Jamaica, some crusty punk thing.
	Indians at the Empire State Building.
	My dad and the Gorbals in Glasgow as a kid.
	When no one had shoes.
	Tabarnac.
	Jim Asuvier, I remember.
	This is a buck, I guess, that my friend Sprague hunted for three days.
	Sprague was also a junkie, though, so he could have been lying.
	I just thought it was a beautiful picture.
	That's an eight-point buck.
	Don't you think if you were painting this, like you'd have the brush and you'd go, boom.
	That would be how it looks.
	Yeah, that wouldn't be how you do it.
	This is a Vietnam vet that got me this.
	He didn't get me this, actually.
	These are like really expensive prints because he was in Vietnam.
	So Vice had an art show, and while no one was looking, I just scanned it in two pieces and then photoshopped it back together and then printed it out.
	I saved myself like a thousand bucks.
	Is it legal?
	No, that's that.
	And then this is the bar.
	Got lots of booze.
	It's all real.
	It all works.
	Got Urwoolly there.
	Some various bric-a-brac.
	And then this gun was, you know, the Hatfield versus the McCoy's.
	Hatfields went on to make their own guns.
	I think McCoy's did too.
	And this is the gun, but I got all the pieces here.
	Like, I got the fucking bullets, the balls.
	I got the little magnesium flint doo-dickies.
	I got the little cloth pads you stuff it down with.
	Stuff it down with that.
	I have the black powder in here.
	And that's legal because it's an antique gun.
	We looked into this.
	I hope so.
	But I'm going away.
	And then we have the kegs.
	Kaba, kazi.
	I haven't tested out this keg in a long time.
	Let's put this on.
	I think that's a thing.
	Actually, I have no idea if this is for that.
	It doesn't seem to be going on very well.
	Huh.
	Do you think it's for pouring?
	Maybe.
	I can't think I've got it on.
	You know, I'm sweating.
	Okay, fuck it.
	Do that another time.
	All right, let's see if we can do this right, right?
	Where's it stuck?
	Push that in.
	There we go.
	Oh, oh.
	That's a really late Guinness.
	And that's...
	That's supposed to happen.
	That's why this is here and recessed.
	Alright, that didn't work out great.
	We'll be practicing that a little more.
	Look at these cool bourbon bottles I bought at garage sales over the years.
	This is 100-months-old Kentucky Straight Bourbon whiskey.
	This is a bourbon bottle.
	This thing's a bourbon bottle.
	They should have had cool bourbon bottles back then.
	I'm already drunk from that one shot.
	Then we have Barry the Bear.
	You might recognize him from my book, How to Piss in Public.
	Matt's Budweiser.
	This is one of my favorite things.
	I won this at Plain Bingo in 2000.
	And I was going to Max Fish.
	That's where I met my wife.
	I didn't really care about Maker's mark back then.
	And I won this and thought, this is boring.
	It says, to my loyal friends of Max Fish, Uli, here's to being the first in the neighborhood and the best.
	Bill Samos, President of Makers.
	It was in my closet.
	I guess I'll throw it away at some point.
	Then September 11th happened.
	And just like the Jews in Jersey, I was dancing in the streets.
	Because this all of a sudden became so valuable.
	Then I ended up marrying my girlfriend that I met at Max Fish.
	Then I became a Maker's ambassador.
	Now this is my most prized possession.
	If you really want to hurt me, Antifa, steal this.
	We've got the Sex Pistols, the Great Rock and Roll Swindle.
	This was made by our friends at...
	My mind just went twice.
	Tied to the walls.
	They can hear you whisper, by the way.
	How they can.
	And because we live in New York where you can't have guns, We have an emergency supply of booze, which isn't really necessary in a bar.
	But I just think that's a cool thing.
	My Jewish lawyer gave me this after a meeting.
	We were drinking at his house.
	And he gave me some book about the Talmud.
	And then he also said, take this.
	And I said, okay.
	It's for circumcisions, I believe.
	I think it's the kind of thing you do when you've had a few, and then you wake up the next morning, you're like, where's my huge fucking bowie knife?
	And you go, oh, I gave it to fucking Gavin?
	Shit.
	I can't ask for it back.
	Cool magnifying glass.
	This will probably be on my desk.
	So we've covered that, right?
	Let me sample this.
	Hmm.
	Horse piss.
	So that's the bar.
	So it's for regular Joes.
	This is the censored, the free speech room.
	So that'll be censored.tv presents.
	That'll be free speech.
	This is the lounge.
	We've got our sectionals here.
	This rug designed by Johnny Buffalo McInnes when he was four.
	Is that audio?
	Is that AC going to be an issue?
	Maybe.
	Seems like a power ride it.
	We've got a little putting machine.
	This is the kind of thing that dads get at Christmas.
	Alright, I think it just, hold on one second.
	Alright, it's back.
	Perfect.
	Perfect.
	This is our wall of not shame.
	I wanted to put this in the bar, but the thing about the bar is once you've established that height where the bottles are, you can't really go below that.
	Everything has to be like chest up or it'll look weird.
	So whiskey, the road to ruin.
	My wife got me that in Arizona, I think.
	This was the top part of this.
	This is my NYU talk that started the Proud Boys getting violent because I got pepper sprayed when I went to talk at NYU and Proud Boys started saying, all right, let's start defending conservatives when they go do talks.
	Which, of course, the media twisted into, they crawl the streets looking for minorities to beat up.
	Or my favorite is they beat up people who disagree with them.
	No, the people who they beat up, who pick fights with them, tend to disagree with them.
	But that's not why Proud Boys are fighting.
	Declaration of Independence.
	This is the real one I stole from a museum in Philadelphia.
	So don't tell anyone about that.
	John Hancock's got the most elaborate signature.
	I love this because it was...
	Wait, it says July 4th, 1776.
	Didn't they write that way before they declared independence, like 10 years before or three or four years before?
	I should probably know that.
	But I remember that America had all their independence all worked out way before they were independent.
	Then, of course, the Bill of Rights here at Censor, we're obsessed with First and Second Amendments.
	We think that's kind of all you need, really.
	One and two.
	This is a fun painting.
	I was at South by Southwest, and my buddy Scott in the band Chrome, him and his friends all showed me their knee tattoos.
	Ozzy Osborne did this to his knee when he was in jail because he was bored.
	And so they all got matching ones and they all saw each other and went, oh shit, I haven't seen you in a while.
	And they all get together for the photo.
	So I sent this to China to have made.
	And we got Annie Oakley, Low Dog, and Buffalo Bill.
	I mean, he was just a showman, but Low Dog was a real dude.
	He was a real badass nigga who united tribes.
	And eventually they amalgamated so many tribes they beat Custer.
	So this was a heavy dude.
	I'm really into unity.
	I wish all the motorcycle gangs would unify.
	Wouldn't that be cool?
	But the problem is with motorcycle gangs, only the Hell's Angels have top to bottom hierarchy.
	So if the top of the pagan says, we called a truce, they would just say, fuck you.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	No, that's the opposite of the truth.
	Hell's Angels don't have top to bottom.
	So say all the guys who do have top to bottom negotiated.
	The Hell's Angels would just say, FTT, fuck the truce.
	That would be the end of that.
	It's a sad mistake.
	Here's a prize possession, the clash.
	Joe Strummer gave me this, and he said, to Gavin, open your eyes, I said to the crowd, but no.
	And this story, this made me laugh my head off, and it sums up being a father.
	He realized he was in the part of whatever, East London, where this photo was taken.
	It's behind the studio.
	They recorded the first album.
	And so he said to his kids and his wife, close your eyes, close your eyes.
	And he brought them there.
	And then he stood like that in the same alleyway.
	He says, all right, open your eyes.
	And they opened his eyes and he goes, same place as the album.
	And they went, all right, can we go, please?
	And he was just so disappointed.
	The Ramones want to live my life, puke, be your boyfriend, sniff some glue, something to do, shock treatment.
	They want to be sedated, have some chicks, get some cakes, the airwaves, steal from the rich and give to the poor, live.
	All the Misfits want is your skulls.
	And then just like the Makersbark thing, I love, We Love America.
	I got that in Chinatown for $10, half price.
	Probably should have got it for free, considering I'm the only person in the world who wants it.
	And then we have my office.
	Great office!
	Say something Trumpian.
	Frankly, we built a wall.
	We put lights in it and we had the Mexicans do it.
	And we paid for it.
	Actually, the Mexicans did build a wall, really.
	Yeah, but they didn't pay for it.
	This wall was built by Mexicans.
	Like many walls.
	But I paid for it.
	We're going to pay for it, but they're going to build it.
	They're going to build it.
	They're going to build it.
	This is my office.
	Sex Pistols themes exclusively.
	Very minimal.
	No bureaus, no printers that's all in the fag zone.
	Got my Jamie Reed poster.
	Italian great rock and roll swindle, the Sex Pistols tour, pretty much their only tour.
	New York Post article about them selling all their stuff.
	And then we have, of course, whoa!
	Now we have our ADT security, when you come in here, you push in the code 1864.
	That disarms it and makes sure we do not get robbed.
	And that's it, right?
	Have I covered everything?
	I think that should do.
	You've seen what I see, I've seen what you see, and you see what we all see.
	Okay, let's get back to work.
	Oh, penis.
	I forgot to show the green screen.
	See if you can use your super cam to show it.
	Super cam coming.
	Super cam activate.
	There.
	Here, I'll walk over there.
	Oh, you can grab one of these.
	These are our new labs.
	Can you hear me yet?
	Yes.
	These are our new little labs.
	And so I walk over here and I just...
	This is a curtain that goes across.
	And then the camera's always there.
	So that's...
	The green screen is really just the far end of the bar.
	I think it's important that you know that.
	I don't know why.
	That was important.
	Okay, we're finally off to start the show.
	Let's dive right into the news, shall we?
	It's been a moment here.
	We've been setting up.
	We took you on a tour.
	I like to complain about my lot in life.
	I was recently bitching about the Hay Does No Home here signs, which are mildly inconvenient, but no one can hold a candle to Roger Stone, who has had his life flushed down the fucking toilet.
	This is a guy who told Trump he should run.
	He's been working with Trump for a long time.
	That is a sin.
	Because Trump tried to destroy the deep state.
	He tried to save America.
	He tried to get rid of all the deadweight.
	And the deadweight's pissed off.
	Because the deadweight is basically the monarchy 200 years ago.
	You don't fuck with them or you disappear, as we've learned from Hillary's various enemies.
	And, you know, they tortured him so much, they bankrupted the guy.
	His wife has terminal cancer now from the stress of it.
	Devastated Roger Stone reveals his wife now has stage four lymphoma, which he blames on the stress of being smeared, framed, and gagged as he pleads with a judge for a 90-day stay over claims he dodged $2 million in taxes.
	All lies.
	If you recall, the initial allegation against him was that he lied to the FBI and that thwarted an investigation.
	The lie was, did you get an email from Julian Assange?
	No, I didn't.
	Yes, you did.
	Do you want to go through all your old emails?
	And for that, they just kept raking him over the coals.
	Trump pardoned him.
	They're still going after him.
	I saw today, actually.
	Yeah, if you go to 1.6, now they're trying to say that because he's near Oath Keepers, then he planned the January 6th meandering.
	That's their logic.
	This is Roger Stowe in the morning of January 6th, flanked by five to six members.
	Yeah, don't you find it unusual that Roger Stowe needs to be constantly surrounded by Oath Keepers and Proud Boys?
	Do you know why that is?
	Because people are constantly trying to kill him, to attack him.
	He can't afford round-the-clock bodyguards, so patriots volunteer, and they tend to be proud boys and oath keepers.
	That's your smoking gun?
	So I was looking at the tweet.
	Look at that thread.
	That whole thread of tweets.
	It's like, I know for a fact.
	Look, he orchestrated it.
	Move over.
	That's cut off for me.
	I just see new well.
	Oh, that is what it says.
	What's wrong with him, Tourette's?
	I don't know.
	He's fucking old, lady.
	It cannot be stated enough that Roger Stone's Stop the Steel campaign was intended for 2016 if Trump lost.
	If Hillary had won, the capital attack would have simply happened in 2016.
	It cannot be stated enough.
	This is like Ryan with his millennial facts.
	They're just so positive that he's guilty.
	And I've scrolled through these and it's just like dozens of people going, trust me, I know he did it.
	Did what?
	They've got to jump ahead to 2-2.
	So now they're like, they're saying about the Gen 6 meandering, oh, you guys said it was Antifa, and now you're claiming the FBI was involved.
	Only a matter of time before the false flag theory took hold.
	They tried the Antifa did it version first, but it had flaws that limited uptake.
	This inside job version is a much better fit with the profiles of those involved and an effective twist on government inaction.
	Confidently states Katie Shitches Starbird.
	Meanwhile, everyone watching this show knows the truth.
	Yes, Antifa was involved.
	His name was John Sullivan.
	He dressed up as a Trump supporter.
	There was at least five people in the front line who were Antifa-linked, who were smashing things.
	So Antifa is responsible.
	The FBI definitely was, I shouldn't say definitely in case I get sued.
	It is looking a hell of a lot like the FBI was involved in ginning up enthusiasm.
	We've seen them do this a hundred times.
	Remember those guys that were going to kidnap Gretchen Wilson?
	And then we discover it was a bunch of feds saying, we should kidnap her, right, you guys?
	And these sad, lost, frustrated young men who've been told they suck their whole lives and want revenge go, yeah, we should kidnap her.
	Caught you saying you're going to kidnap her.
	What?
	That's entrapment.
	So it's very likely that the same kind of entrapment was evidenced in January 6th.
	So FBI is responsible.
	And there was a lot of dummies who were pissed off that the election was stolen, which is a justified anger.
	But they were so angry that at this rally that was meant to be peaceful, some of them broke some windows, meandered in there, wandered around, took goofball pictures.
	Not violent, not scary, stole a podium, posed sitting at a desk, laughing.
	AOC's PTSC's not justified.
	So they are responsible.
	It's possible that more than one group is responsible for this fucking melee.
	And then, of course, number four, which might be linked to the FBI, the strange occurrence where there was cops going like this and almost no police presence that day.
	That's a whole other thing implying that the DNC was somehow involved.
	Lots of people can be involved in this.
	What's 2-3?
	Matt Gates wants answers.
	We've got to figure out how to say his name.
	Goetz or Gates?
	Now I don't know.
	I think it's Goetz.
	I used to think I knew.
	Go to 2-3.
	Goetz calls on FBI Director Ray to fully disclose the role FBI operatives played in investigating.
	Like, imagine being such a simpleton that you go, first you said it was Antifa, now you're saying it's the FBI.
	I think it's Roger Stone.
	Roger Stone is the only one who didn't do it.
	I've been framed a million times for this thing.
	They've got footage of me there.
	Someone sent me a video saying I hate Jews and I was there planning the insurrection.
	I had the fucking dude, Alan Foyer from the New York Times, bragging that he has footage of me there and asking me if I think he's an idiot.
	And I do think he's an idiot.
	What is going on with this little side thing?
	It's a little fun little shot.
	Don't do fun shots.
	Let's try to focus on things going smoothly.
	Speaking of real news, I saw this article where they identified a Chinese spy.
	So I guess he defected from the Chinese establishment.
	Maybe we shouldn't be talking about him in case he gets in even more shit from China.
	You know, in North Korea, when you defect or do something wrong, they don't just like kick your brother in the nuts.
	They punish your entire family and everyone remotely associated with them for generations back.
	So your cousins are fucked.
	Your grandmother's fucked.
	Your grandmother's friend is fucked.
	Like they decimate your community.
	Your address book, everyone on it is fucked.
	Toast.
	So I assume China does the same thing.
	But isn't this rare?
	Sorry, this is one too.
	Isn't it rare to see journalists do their job?
	I'm not used to this.
	Exclusive from Red State, from a woman named Jennifer Van Lair, a qualified journalist who's doing hard work and getting answers.
	Chinese defector's identity confirmed was top counterintelligence official.
	Go down.
	She even gets the five W's in the opening.
	We now know the name of the Chinese defector.
	Red State First wrote about in June 4th.
	Nice hyperlink there to catch up to speed.
	Who has been working with the Defense Intelligence Agency for a few months and what his position within the Chinese military and government was, among other details.
	Like when this, when I saw this, it was like seeing a mongoose.
	I felt weird.
	I went, oh my God, someone is doing research and finding out important information about our enemies and then publishing it with no bias whatsoever and no bullshit.
	Instead of looking like a babysitter, they look like a mother.
	Yeah.
	Our women are better than their women.
	Finally, good.
	And then you see, you know, what most journalism is today, 1-3.
	This is really what journalism has become.
	I was kicked off the Harry Potter ride for being too fat.
	Yeah.
	I've been on that ride with my kids.
	It's really intense.
	You're on a chair.
	It's a combination of a real ride and a fake ride.
	So you're in like four seats on a big arm and it goes like, travels through this thing and then this is you.
	And then you see like a dragon and a thing explodes and you go underneath this thing and you're up over here.
	And that's all video.
	But the way they plunge you into the video thing, it's, I was actually really worried about my eldest boy.
	It was a few years ago.
	And I was like, am I permanently traumatizing him?
	This ride is fucking intense.
	So as you're going like this, you don't want a fat pig on there breaking the arm.
	But is she using this as an example of persecution?
	Note how most female writers just, they have to do the first person thing and talk about themselves and how me, me, me, all they do is me search.
	Not Jennifer, not the first chick, but this chick.
	This is the more common one.
	But go back to that article.
	Let's see that.
	Let's compare the openings.
	That first opening that had a brilliant summary of what they're doing.
	And then not the cookies.
	Let's scroll down here.
	It turns out Hogwarts absolutely condones this and so does the general public.
	So we have the subhead three times and then some strange comma with a end a quote.
	Unbelievable.
	The spell in Harry Potter that causes an object enemy, blah, blah.
	But like the fat lady, I am big and loud and demanding and I absolutely refuse to vanish.
	So I did what any new Hogwarts student would do after being warned that she might be excluded.
	I bounded into the line with my friends and we were soon dazzled by the intricate details of the Hogwarts School of Wizardry.
	What a pig.
	Record scratch.
	One of the 20-something, scroll it up a bit.
	Walked over and asked us to step off because it's a safety issue.
	Yeah.
	You've got a piece hanging out here, dude.
	Stop getting fancy with stuff.
	Like, no one appreciates this non-box you made.
	Why are you doing that?
	Why did you make this dumb box?
	Because you were off to the side.
	What do you mean?
	Well, why is it at an angle?
	It's not.
	Oh, that's how it's always been.
	No, this isn't a square.
	Look at this line.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's always been a tilted box.
	We rushed it through a door that looked like a backstage area.
	The AC went on, by the way.
	20-something employee rattled off a spiel about safety, blah, blah, blah.
	Why are we reading that?
	What a pile of shit.
	What a loser.
	I thought this was interesting.
	Wait, yet another journal?
	Yeah, look at 1.4.
	So remember last week there was that woman who live on air said, I'm going to be working with Project Veritas.
	And this might be because that dude Morgan, the whistleblower from Facebook, he raised half a million dollars.
	He texted me and said, What am I going to do now that I'm rich?
	I'm like, You're not rich, dude.
	You might never work again.
	Put it in the savings account.
	And then there was the woman who said, I was told I can't talk about Bitcoin because blacks don't like it.
	And I don't know how much money she's going to raise or if she'll ever work again, who knows?
	But now this chick comes on.
	This was like yesterday or today.
	Thanks for watching first forecast.
	I'm meteorologist April Moss and happy Father's Day.
	Today we saw temperatures above level again, topping out at 85 degrees at Metro Airport.
	Plenty of sunshine today, but all good things must come to an end.
	And that starts as early as tomorrow morning with showers moving in around 8 a.m.
	And speaking of a brand new week, I will be sitting down this week with Project Veritas to discuss the discrimination that CBS is enforcing upon its employees.
	Tune in to Project Veritas for my full story.
	Now, later Monday, we will see those showers continuing through late morning.
	This is exciting, isn't it?
	This is awesome.
	Can you hear the AC?
	Should you go turn it off?
	I could hear a low rumble if I listen close.
	Low rumble.
	Low, sweet, air condition.
	Speaking of whistleblowing, I don't know if this is really a good segue, but 1-5, this Trump impersonator is way better than Ryan, and this has been making the rounds.
	You're going to make a left, okay?
	We're talking about a left or to Sortell Boulevard.
	Here, well, this is plane.
	Go fix the AC.
	It's a beautiful street.
	I know a lot about it.
	Nobody knows Sortel like I know Sortel.
	You're going to make a left.
	And then hit override.
	Next, done.
	If you reach Bernie Sanders, you've gone too far left, okay?
	If you reach Bernie, you've gone too far.
	In three big, beautiful quarters of a mile, we're going to make a U-turn, okay?
	We're going to make a U-turn, turn around, or as Jen Saki likes to say, we're going to circle back.
	Okay?
	We're going to make the U-turn, the greatest U-turn the world has ever seen at Corpus Christi Drive.
	And we're going to turn it around faster than the world has ever seen.
	We're rerouting, or as I like to call it, lost, okay?
	We've got no clue where we are.
	We're more lost than a liberal after reading the Constitution.
	We're more lost than Sleepy Joe after leaving his basement.
	But we're going to get there soon, believe me.
	Oh, sorry.
	In a quarter mile, you're going to make a list, okay?
	That's someone who posted it.
	Well, his name's O, the Deplorable Guy.
	Yeah.
	Now, that's not his name, though.
	He's Jay something.
	He's got like an Iranian name.
	He didn't seem to rag on Trump at all.
	No, but he doesn't like him.
	Wait, is this him?
	Did you notice that the first boulevard was called Shortel or maybe Sortel?
	Ah, like David Shortel.
	Like David Shortel.
	Wait, is this the guy?
	The errant thread that unravels the whole sweater.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Loud majority.
	Yeah, that's him.
	So he's a Trump man.
	Oh, he is.
	Yeah.
	Loud majority, baby.
	Constitutional conservative.
	High energy.
	Wow.
	Good stuff.
	We got the funny guys.
	That's what they call them.
	The funny guys.
	What's this one?
	I do not like them, Lindsey Graham.
	I will not eat them in South Carolina.
	That's not as funny.
	But yeah, David Shortel, that, like, I love little one-liners, little tiny errant threads that unravel the whole sweater.
	And you could just plant it as a truth bomb.
	Like, with Proud Boys, when people say the race of blah, blah, blah.
	Just go.
	All you have to say is, like, explain to me the black Proud Boys and the gay Proud Boys.
	And that's the end of the discussion.
	Or explain to me why everyone knew that David Shortel, or David Shortel knew that the SWAT was coming to arrest Roger Stone.
	How did he know that?
	And then they have to concede, they can't do what CNN did, which is say, he's just really good at stakeouts.
	He's got a great hunch.
	No, it was 15 minutes before they arrived.
	So once you concede that, you have to concede that law enforcement is in bed with the media to make a show.
	And once you concede that, well, now everything's a show.
	Like, did you need scuba guys at Roger Stone's house?
	No, you clearly did not.
	But you have to make him look like a villain so you can push this bullshit like the DA is saying, whatever his name is, Magger.
	I forget his name.
	Where he's saying the number one threat to America's white supremacy.
	So you have to have these silly games, these ridiculous fucking theatrics in order to justify your bullshit.
	You know, you can change this up a bit.
	You don't always have.
	This could be like Animal House.
	This could be Fox News.
	You should have a series of videos you cut to.
	I don't think we should have to look at this the whole time.
	This is my new pet peeve with sports shows.
	Like that guy who was gambling and he's got his own show now, Robert and Cantor or something.
	I'm not very good with the names at this age.
	But it's like two guys in t-shirts on a mic and nothing else, no other video.
	You're not using the medium correctly.
	That's radio.
	That's audio.
	Use the medium.
	Let's briefly jump to My Pet Biden, shall we?
	Okay.
	Alrighty.
	Should have known that was coming.
	Of course.
	So dig that up.
	Maybe play that on the camera too.
	And it's got, of course, that's My Pet Biden.
	That's what it is, and that should be coming up.
	It's the song.
	Presently.
	Yeah.
	A song and a video.
	It uses the medium correctly.
	Right.
	As opposed to just someone sitting here talking, which you could hear on the radio.
	Okay.
	And, you know, it's funny because here it is.
	And, you know, frankly, before we get into that, the weird thing to me about My Pet Biden.
	Yes.
	Particularly.
	It's a lot like the 80s cartoon My Pet Monster I've noticed.
	A little bit.
	You know what?
	I feel like it's either an homage or a ripoff.
	That's actually what I was going to say.
	So since you took that away, we'll just take it away.
	Biden.
	Biden.
	President.
	He's taking food.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My cat.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Beautiful.
	I thought this was an interesting dichotomy.
	When Putin, this is 1-7, when Putin went to meet Donald Trump, he was nervous.
	He knew he was up against a worthy adversary, so he brought cue cards.
	When Joe Biden went up to meet Putin, he was nervous.
	He realized he was up against a worthy adversary, so he brought cue cards.
	Just like I was saying with that errant thread with Chortel, cue cards tell you everything you need to know about where America was and where America's headed.
	Look at them.
	He's clutching them when he's talking to Trump.
	He's short.
	He's nervous.
	His tie is gay.
	And then we all know the flashcards that Biden...
	Biden didn't just bring flashcards to talk to Putin.
	He brings them everywhere he goes.
	Look at his weird writing.
	That's how Mercedes Carrera writes me from prison.
	Maybe she's floral.
	It's not a good way to write.
	And then I don't have to find you, Biden, with the cue cards, right?
	Because he had cue cards for Putin, but he also has cue cards when he talks to the press.
	And then there was that time last week where he goes, Naz per ush, I got a list they give me of what journalists I'm going to call out to.
	Yeah, dude, you're not supposed to say that.
	Yeah, look at this 1-8.
	This is Vox in a nutshell.
	Vox is not a place that gives the news, nor is Daily Beast or Huffington Post or Washington Post.
	They are all PR firms that work for the left.
	Click on those pics, obviously.
	So Trump throws a fit when Caitlin Collins of CNN tries to ask him a question and abruptly ends the press conference.
	And I'd love to see what led up to that, of them constantly berating him, insulting him, demanding answers, treating him like shit.
	Then the same woman asks a similar question, but without the long lead-in of endless abuse, and Biden has a meltdown.
	Vox's response, it would have served Biden better not to lose his temper with Caitlin Collins, then puts a period there for some reason.
	But the problem with her question is she put words in Biden's mouth that he didn't say.
	Biden never expressed confidence that Putin would change his behavior.
	I've got to get that across.
	This is like CNN saying, asking Jen Saki, what do we do wrong as the media?
	How can we be a better PR firm?
	Boy, Brian Stettler, the Turgid Tattletale, has been, I don't have this in the notes, but he has been abused this week.
	If you like him, you must, even as one of his enemies, I fucking hate the guy, but even I am going.
	Like he was on C-SPAN, and it was just an endless list of callers.
	He's sitting there in his fucking underwear and his red socks.
	Remember, he's fucked his wife once and made a baby, so her pussy is as tight as a dime.
	And it's just endless callers calling in, berating him about what a piece of shit he is and how much CNN sucks.
	His ratings are down 73%.
	What are you pulling up here?
	What are you pulling up, dude?
	News junkie.
	He made the statement just a few minutes ago that he is all the stories are always evolving.
	Yeah, his stories absolutely evolve.
	Brian Stelter.
	Thank you for the feedback.
	I appreciate it.
	Savannah, Georgia.
	Rick, good morning.
	You're next.
	Yes, I was just wondering if you still feel like Michael Avenatti is the greatest thing in the world and should run for president of the United States.
	And my suggestion is whatever CNN says, do the opposite and you'll be fine.
	Aurora, Indiana, this is Robert.
	Good morning.
	You're from Brian Stelter.
	Why?
	Why did I do this?
	It's not a good lives.
	Well, there it is.
	When you don't screen this.
	That's what the New Yorker covers on his wall.
	Whoa, that's a Zoom.
	The New Yorker covers are supposed to mean what now?
	That you're sensitive?
	You're a sweetheart?
	Do we have an LGBT bumper?
	We have a gay bumper, right?
	Yeah, like the that's gay bumper.
	Let's see.
	That's gay bumper.
	Okay.
	Something pretty gay.
	That's okay.
	I want this thing to be like InfoWars, like have a globe.
	What's that G-O-M-L globe loop?
	Oh, yeah.
	Okay.
	Oh, yeah.
	I could load that shit into my shit.
	Okay, we'll do that later.
	But yeah, show is a gay bumper and let's talk about the gays.
	I'm seeing a lot of gay privilege.
	Like every city hall in New York, all over Westchester, South Bronx, they have two polls.
	It's the American flag.
	It's Juneteenth, which I actually am pretty cool with Juneteenth.
	It's the wrong day.
	The last slave was, I think, emancipated like November 12th.
	So you're way off.
	But at least it's a real thing.
	Celebrating the end of slavery.
	Got it.
	Slavery was bad.
	Yes.
	We can get into how many white slaves there were.
	We can get into that we ended slavery.
	I wouldn't hate a thank you for losing 620,000 men, ending slavery in America, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
	But at least it's a bona fide thing.
	Slavery was undeniably bad.
	It ended.
	Let's celebrate that.
	Good.
	I'm in.
	It's like President's Day.
	It's a thing.
	It's not Breonna Taylor who's living with a drug dealer and he got her shot up.
	It's not George Floyd who OD'd and was resisting arrest.
	It's not Black Lives Matter, which is a Marxist group that wants to dismantle the patriarchy and destroy the nuclear family and end capitalism.
	None of that bullshit.
	It's not critical race theory.
	It's not made up.
	It's a real thing.
	It's not the Tulsa, Oklahoma race riot that's called a massacre now, which is apparently supposed to lead to reparations.
	I'll take reality anytime.
	So I don't really mind the Juneteenth flag.
	If it's there for a little while.
	And then the rainbow flag everywhere.
	And if you dare fuck with any of these flags, you're dead.
	What are you ugly?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	I never get to the poop poop.
	And we have a very good relationship.
	I don't like the shit.
	You don't want to see a closed up picture of my animals.
	You ain't gay me.
	You ugly.
	Homophobal.
	That was just for gay privilege.
	So some guy sees the rainbow thing.
	You can't prove that this was done on purpose, by the way.
	But he screeches his tires over the thing.
	Felony charges.
	How is this a fucking felony?
	Screeching your tires.
	Because it's a hate crime.
	And now they're not happy with this.
	They want it to deface a memorial.
	Do you think that they would be happy with capital punishment if he was to die in the electric chair?
	I think they'd be okay with that.
	I don't want my enemies to die.
	I don't want the head of the LGBT to suffer in the electric chair.
	Let's hear it.
	Is that got audio?
	In two years, we'll be arrested for laughing at you.
	Yeah.
	I want him to die, just for the record.
	I wasn't laughing, actually.
	I'll happily kill him for you.
	I was laughing.
	To spare my family.
	I was laughing at because I was picturing him dying.
	I have the Joker thing where I laugh and weird.
	Yeah, I'm a psycho-evil guy.
	This is a dumb question.
	It's going to make me seem very non-rednecked, but how do you do that?
	I don't know.
	I think I'm retarded, but I'm guessing that a combination of the brake and gas.
	Or maybe you put on the handbrake and then slam it down so the wheels are spinning, but it has nowhere to go.
	I want to learn how to do that.
	We could learn.
	So I can deface anti-gay memorials.
	Don't kill me.
	Kill me last.
	That just, remember this was the, reminds me of the guy who got 15 years for burning the flag.
	15 years in prison.
	What's that now?
	And we're not talking about how to spin the tires and take off.
	Anybody can do that.
	It's when you're trying to sit here spinning the tires or to move very slowly while your feet might work better, you know, this way or this way.
	Or for me, I've got kind of fat feet, so I roll my ankle.
	It doesn't really matter.
	Whatever is comfortable for you.
	But find a slippery fit.
	He's got some weird fat feet boots.
	Yeah, that's what fat feet people wear.
	I bet women are really turned off by that.
	Fat feet.
	So that's the clutch.
	I'm going to start mixing the throttle till I get up to 3,000 or 4,000 RPM, and I'm going to dump the clutch.
	And what you'll see is I'm going to hold the brake pedal and the throttle with my right foot.
	And so that's how you can sit down.
	So you can only do it on a manual transmission, I guess, and you hold the brake down and then hit the gas with the other part of your foot.
	Yeah.
	It has to be manual, though, right?
	We assume so.
	Yeah, 50.
	Yeah, go to 2-0.
	We've already talked about this, but it just amazes me.
	And the thing I don't get, too, about Enrique is he admitted to taking down the Black Lives Matter flag and burning it.
	Which I think Prowboys did again this weekend in Portland.
	Jesus, guys.
	I get your point.
	I hate Black Lives Matter too, but that's really, really bad optics.
	It's suspiciously bad.
	It makes you think feds are involved.
	15 years in Iowa Jail for Burning Pride flag.
	I think his problem was that he was really adamant about how he did it on purpose.
	I fucking hate bags.
	Alright, have you got the Antifa bumper?
	I'm sending them all to myself as we speak, but not at the moment.
	Okay.
	So just imagine there's an Antifa bumper.
	There was a big rally, I think, in Oregon City.
	Whatever the fuck that is.
	Pro-flag thing.
	Andy No was there, a bunch of speakers.
	Why do you care if you're left-wing?
	Like, if there was a pedophile convention, I would care because I'd think, let's go beat them up.
	They're all in one spot.
	But if there was a We Hate America private rally at a hotel with a bunch of talks, can you imagine giving a shit?
	Can you imagine getting in your car and being like, I don't want these people talking about how much they hate America?
	I mean, if they're terrorists, maybe you might find some bad guys there.
	But I don't care.
	Yet Antifa was outraged that these people were, look at this, fuck Proud Boys, fuck Nazis, fuck your flag.
	Which is actually good optics for Proud Boys because it implies that if you hate them, you hate America.
	Rise against hate.
	Anti-fascists are mobilizing against the Proud Boys and other far-right neo-fascist groups this Friday in Oregon City outside of Portland.
	Violent white nationalists have moved their weekly flag wave to Clackamette Park.
	It's just pathetic.
	Alerta, Alerta.
	Antifascista the 18th.
	So a bunch of fights went down.
	I wonder who won.
	I don't actually have footage of the fights, but you get the idea.
	All right.
	Enough talk of politics and that kind of shit.
	Let's have some fun.
	We're getting too serious.
	I want to talk about this video, this new Dharman dude.
	So let's do now the beauty of the new studio is we can do green screens live.
	I could just walk over there right now.
	Remember Dar Man?
	He does those terrible videos where there's like an orphan at an orphanage and he's crippled and he's going to the fridge and the owner of the orphanage for some reason is like, oh, don't mind him.
	He's an annoying gimp.
	You don't want anyone like that.
	And then the black woman, because the kid's white, goes, actually, we do.
	And then she gets up and she has a cane too.
	And then Darman gets off with his weird little faux hawk and says, don't be mean to crippled people.
	You never know.
	You might be talking to another crippled person.
	It's super low IQ garbage that gets millions of views.
	And we've been battering it on this show for many years.
	But there's a new kid in town, Louis Markado, who is so much stupider than Dar Man, which we didn't think was possible, that he's making high quality comedy.
	Like you just go, he's a troll.
	He's not a troll.
	I've researched it.
	He's a Guido goofball.
	He used to do to catch a cheater.
	And now he saw Darman as doing well, who's doing the exact same thing.
	So this particular video is about the Asian hate crimes.
	And we know what's going on with Asian hate crimes.
	Crime is up.
	Blacks tend to be disproportionately represented in crime.
	That means victims are up.
	Chinese people tend to make good victims.
	They go down like a bag of rocks.
	They don't call the cops.
	They didn't have money on them.
	So this is a very typical Asian hate crime, right?
	It's just a fatherless thug piece of shit attempting to murder.
	Ooh, she's pretty.
	Attempting to murder some old guy.
	And they're brutal.
	I don't know why they're not treated like attempted murder.
	They're brutal attacks.
	There should be another one right after that, right?
	There's the one where he nails that old Asian.
	Yeah, that one.
	Look at this.
	Whammo.
	No thought to it.
	Like, this is what annoys me about the media is they want there to be some sort of a thought process behind it.
	It's based on the pandemic.
	It's based on Trump saying it's from China.
	It's based on people mad that they're not wearing masks.
	That guy was wearing a mask, by the way.
	So there's no logic to it.
	Stop it with the analysis.
	But it's fun to see them try.
	And this new guy has just put out a video.
	Not just, actually, it's fairly old news by now.
	But he wants, this is, he sort of represents what America wants to be going on and Canada too.
	And Australia and Britain.
	They want it to be a white supremacist, maybe some other black asshole, but if it's a black guy, he's with a white guy who's sort of leading the charge.
	And they are doing it because of the pandemic.
	And they shouldn't because not all Asians are responsible for the pandemic.
	That's fucking mental, okay?
	Nobody sees an Asian on the street and goes, thanks a lot, dick.
	If anything, when you see a Chinese person on the street, you go, hey man, congratulations on getting out of that shithole.
	Boy, it fucking sucks there.
	Anyway, check out not just Louis Markado's take, but what most people's take is, and mostly women, I would argue, the sort of sanitized version of what's really going on.
	He always starts with the climax.
	Now you should enjoy your own cake.
	That's what you get from being 80.
	Don't do that.
	And then he rewinds it.
	You'll notice, by the way, when he hit him with the cake, stop, he lowered him down because the actor was worried about the other actor.
	These are all cheap ass extras that probably get $100 a day.
	$100, $200, $300, $400.
	He probably spent like $1,500 making this.
	So these Filipinos are getting, or he's about to propose, and a bunch of racists show up and get in the way.
	Now here's what's crazy.
	This is so sanitized, and these people have such a great attitude that the inadvertent message of this video is that Asians like being attacked and you should probably attack them more.
	That's how affable they are.
	I can't hear it.
	Can you turn it on?
	This cake is adorable.
	Where did you get it?
	What are you talking about?
	I made this.
	I want it to come from a special place.
	She's pretty good.
	She has nice tits, too.
	Can you believe it's been six years already?
	It's crazy how fast time flies by.
	I know.
	I'm so glad that we're finally done with medical school.
	So many sleepless nights.
	I can't wait to sleep in for once.
	Well, not tonight.
	Hold on a second.
	You don't sleep in at night.
	So she can still, if he fucks her all night, she can still sleep in the next morning.
	That'll be fine.
	And don't fuck her all night, dude.
	You're going bald.
	Night, ball.
	And celebrate the best way I know how.
	I guess I could squeeze out one extra night for you.
	That sounds like poo.
	That's gross.
	Isn't it crazy that we're in our 30s now?
	When did that happen?
	It's like we're adults now.
	Speak for yourself.
	I also got a body of a 20-year-old.
	Hold on.
	So someone who's 31 is proud that they have the body of a 28-year-old.
	I can't tell if that's a joke or not.
	Now, a lot of this will seem like a parody of Dharman.
	I understand you feeling that way.
	That's a normal emotion to have.
	It's real.
	But this is the beauty of Clown World.
	Things are so fucking ridiculous that it doesn't matter if it's a joke anymore because it makes you laugh.
	So this is free comedy from Reality Land.
	Look at Josh Denny's retarded stepbrother there.
	Look at these guys over here sitting like they own the place.
	Yo, they're not even wearing masks.
	What's wrong with these people, man?
	These are the guys that bring those diseases and stuff, man.
	So, babe, I've been.
	Get it?
	So when you see blacks shoving a 70-year-old Asian man in a mask, he's mad at him because he brings diseases.
	No.
	No.
	We've been through some of the worst times and some of the best times.
	We've been down on each other's necks.
	What?
	Do you mean at each other's throats?
	I assume this is written by Louis Mercado.
	He has no accent.
	He's an English speaker.
	It sounds like it's his first language, actually.
	Mercado implies he speaks Spanish too.
	But down on each other's necks?
	Down on your luck?
	At each other's throats.
	The only person that was down on anyone's neck is facing 20 years in prison for it and turned the fentanyl victim into a saint.
	We loved each other more than I could ever have thought possible.
	Now that we're both doctors, I promise you there's going to be better days ahead of us.
	There's going to be better days.
	Sounds like an Indian.
	You know, when my dad passed away early this year, things just weren't the same.
	A big part of me died with him.
	I'll never forget what my dad told me when he was lying on his deathbed.
	Fuck off.
	He said, Keith, the key to happiness is to find someone you love and hold on to them.
	Very articulate for a dying man.
	Usually they just say, wait, which one are you?
	Are you the cop?
	No, dad, I'm a lawyer.
	Donnie's a cop.
	Oh, I hate lawyers.
	Will you make me the happiest man on earth, Dan?
	See, that is pretty good acting.
	This actor knew a football was going to hit him in the head, which I assume is very painful.
	Look at that.
	He's not even cringing.
	This is why it's good to have people on the spectrum in your videos because they have no emotions and they can turn off all buttons like robots.
	Why?
	I'm a racist.
	Watch racing or football.
	Those are the two most successful Asians in the world.
	Lucy Lou is, I think she's 53.
	She looks like she's 30.
	She looks fantastic.
	Very successful movie star.
	Very pretty.
	And then you have Jackie Chan, who I think might be gay, but they don't know that.
	The most successful action movie star in history.
	As far as his career goes, I mean, it's been, what, three decades of nonstop hits?
	So that's not an insult.
	Later on, they switched to food insults, which I think are much more effective.
	I don't know why, but I think I know why.
	You don't call people successful people as an insult.
	It's not a good look.
	Hit my boyfriend on the head.
	Oh, did we?
	My bad.
	It was an accident.
	Ain't that right, Cletus?
	An accident.
	No, sir.
	Cletus.
	To be clear here, the racist's name, and judging by their accents, we're up in the northeast.
	His name is fucking Cletus.
	Hi, I'm Cletus Racist KKK.
	I'm a racist.
	Like, this guy Lewis does not know what 8x7 is.
	He's a fucking retard.
	We assume he wrote this, right?
	I hope so.
	I was aiming for Mr. Panda Express himself.
	Hey, man, do we have a problem?
	Yeah, there's a problem.
	My grandma died six months ago because you and your family brought all these diseases over to this country.
	Me and my family?
	What are you talking about?
	Chinese people.
	You guys eat rats and bats and monkeys.
	First of all, they do eat rats and bats and monkeys.
	And two things here.
	One, no one is blaming the Chinese.
	Look, Chinese, they spell Chinese wrong.
	Chinese.
	We're not Chinese.
	I don't see.
	Wait, you know what's funny?
	I don't think they are Filipino.
	I think he just said that because he wanted to make them look stupid.
	By the way, you look really stupid when you can't spell Chinese.
	Chinese.
	But he's if he took like a Korean girl and a half Japanese guy and made them both Filipino to make those people look ignorant, aren't you the ignorant one?
	If you're just moving the races around like they don't matter?
	Heat wave.
	Yes.
	Yo, man, we're from Boston.
	We're not from China.
	And you guys are being extremely rude, interrupting us on our anniversary date.
	You think we care about your anniversary?
	That's a good point.
	You're not even wearing masks.
	We're sitting out here by ourselves.
	We're more than 50 feet away from anybody else.
	Yeah, why don't you just mind your own business?
	Leave us alone.
	Quiet, orange chicken.
	We're talking to your boyfriend right now.
	Hey, don't talk to my fiancé like that.
	Orange chicken I like as an insult.
	Yeah, that was getting there.
	I mean, you want to, right?
	So they're in a tense situation where someone just whipped a ball at their head.
	If someone whips a ball at your head and they don't have a gun, you should fight them.
	You might lose two-on-one, but you have to live with yourself.
	So that's, at the very least, your heart is pounding.
	You should be standing up.
	They're sitting on their asses, confronted by two people who want to do them both harm.
	And now they're distracted by his proposal and are chatting about possibly getting married.
	You see, Asians don't mind being attacked.
	That's the message of this video.
	They're unflappable.
	But are you serious?
	Well, they're not going to say no, are you?
	They're bad guys from a Nickelodeon show.
	Maybe you should ask.
	What's that Ed Ed and Eddie show?
	That's one of them.
	What?
	That's one of them.
	Is that what the show's called?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they're like bad guys from Ed, Ed, and Eddie.
	And the way he eats his cake, like, no one eats a cake like that.
	All right, well, let's all celebrate then, huh?
	You want some of this cake?
	Ooh, free cake?
	Oh, it's got strawberries.
	Let me get some more of that.
	All right, go there.
	For people that make rice all day?
	You guys don't have a big cake.
	See, food jokes are the best jokes.
	Where do you think you're going?
	I'll handle this.
	We're out of here, guys.
	See, look.
	I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.
	This is the crux of your problem, Lewis.
	You're trying to make this guy look magnanimous, but what you ended up doing was making him into a complete pussy.
	And the message of this video becomes Asians are fine with abuse.
	This is not a good message, dude.
	When someone fucks with you, takes your cake, ruins your proposal, you're just supposed to say, we're out of here, guys.
	I'm sorry about what happened to your grandma.
	I lost my dad, too.
	It sucks.
	I'm the better man.
	No, you're not.
	You're not a man.
	I'm very sorry to hear about your grandma.
	Seriously, you lost my dad early this year.
	I know how it feels to be hurting inside.
	So please enjoy this cake from us to you.
	Bye.
	Where's she now?
	And hit him with a cake and lower him down.
	Lower him down.
	Make sure it's there.
	That's what you get for being Asian.
	That's what you get for being Asian.
	And they ran in different directions, which is...
	Hold on a sec.
	That's something we advise separately on the show.
	If you are running from police, don't run in the same direction.
	You give the police a place to go.
	You want to split up and confuse them as much as possible.
	Animals do it in Safari.
	Oh my God.
	Now, look at his kabuki theater.
	Perfect cool thing.
	And look at how he has no problem with being totally humiliated like that in front of his girl, who I assume doesn't want to marry him anymore.
	God, those tits.
	Those jerks are going to pay for what they did.
	No, they're not.
	Relax.
	It's okay, really.
	It's only a little cake.
	See?
	Asians like to be attacked.
	Come on.
	Man.
	These guys are in line.
	The cake does taste pretty good.
	It looks cool.
	He looks like a Cherokee warrior, an Apache.
	How do you have such a good attitude?
	Yeah, that's what we're asking watching this shitty video.
	How do you have such a good attitude after this?
	I want to hurt them so bad for what they did to my fiancé.
	She's more of a man than him.
	I'll always be your hero.
	I think they ran away because they saw me coming back.
	Oh, wow.
	You scared them away?
	You're my hero?
	That's a great way to seduce a woman.
	You're my hero.
	I want to be just like you one day.
	I want to be like Caitlin.
	What was that you were saying before we were so rudely interrupted?
	Are you trying to make it romantic?
	You want me to propose a little cake on my face?
	Oh, yeah.
	Wait, did he say a little cake on his face?
	He could not have more cake on his face.
	Want to propose?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, dude, that's a lot of cake.
	I don't know if you could fit more cake on the face.
	I mean, I might be able to squeeze some on your part of your right cheek, maybe?
	But like, you were lowered to the ground and the man really smushed it on.
	Cake on my face?
	Oh, yeah.
	I kind of like you better like this.
	It's like a two-for-one special.
	Well, in that case, Eliana, will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?
	Yes.
	This is disgusting.
	What a horrible memory.
	What a terrible way to start a marriage.
	What a fucking loser.
	Okay, so now we get to see Lewis and Mercado.
	By the way, these guys got eight years in prison.
	Now, you know how we talk on this show.
	We think everything should be street justice.
	So ideally, that guy knocks them both out and everything's over.
	Even if he fights them a little bit and they beat him up, that's still pretty good because they've learned not to fuck with people.
	If I was a judge and it ended up in court, I think I'd be pretty mad that this made it all the way to court.
	But I'd probably go like, all right, we got to keep things moving here.
	40 hours community service, eight years in prison for being a dick with a cake?
	And by the way, the victim didn't even mind.
	I believe he said twice, it's just a little cake.
	And their proposal went off without a hitch.
	So was there that much damage done to society?
	Eight years for being an asshole.
	This is like that guy who got 15 years for fucking burning a rainbow flag.
	Okay, so they got eight years in prison.
	Then what happened?
	I love the piano.
	We can read.
	They got married and opened up their own doctor practice.
	Not their own clinic.
	What do you call it?
	A practitioner's clinic?
	I don't know.
	But I know it's not called a doctor practice.
	Look it up.
	It brings in over $1 million a year.
	They're doing really well.
	They help people together.
	Okay, bring on this.
	It seems like there's been an outbreak in Asian hate crimes in our communities lately.
	Nothing pains my heart more than watching an elderly Asian person being attacked for simply being Asian.
	Nothing pains his heart more than seeing an old Asian attack for simply for being Asian.
	Nothing.
	It's not racism, dude.
	It's blacks behaving badly.
	Correct them.
	Let them know that that kind of behavior, it's not even kind of okay to joke around about.
	Please, everybody, share this video.
	If I'm ever around someone and they make a racist joke, I'm going to send them to prison for eight years.
	That was golden.
	Wow.
	I'm robot.
	Yeah, that guy is so bad that we, for a moment here in the studio, we thought that we were dealing with the funniest person alive.
	For example, he has a video where one of the actors says shit and he bleeps it, but you can still hear the word shit.
	So you go, okay, this is a piss tick on Darman.
	Look at 2.7.
	look at his Instagram because I had my doubts too.
	This level of comedy is too good.
	But again, at the end of the day, who cares?
	Like, click on his name so we see all his shit.
	This tells you that he's not a troll.
	Like, just look at him.
	This is a bona fide douche.
	That's another self-help guy in the top right you just clicked on.
	Stop doing the same thing twice.
	Dumbass.
	But yeah, just keep scrolling.
	You get a vibe of him.
	This is not the funniest guy in the world.
	Oh, and look at that.
	Go up a bit, the three million.
	What does that say?
	To catch a cheater.
	See, that's his thing.
	That's what he did before this.
	He snitched on dudes cheating.
	And there it is with Chris Hansen to catch a predator.
	Look at that.
	I caught two of them.
	Posing with hot women in Vegas.
	What is cornier than that?
	Sitting in a cool throne?
	He's a douche.
	And then, yeah, check out 2-6.
	He did a to catch a cheater thing.
	Which, I mean, it's wrong to cheat on your wife.
	I understand that.
	But to set up someone with some hot chicken lingerie, you're not really helping.
	Nor is Ryan helping.
	No.
	You're doing very badly today.
	Here we go.
	Wife, desperate for a divorce, sets up her husband to cheat on her with a female underwear model outside his office in California.
	But is he tempted to stray?
	Oh, I think in this story he tells her to fuck off.
	Get rid of that ad.
	This is a beautiful webpage here.
	Isn't it?
	Yeah.
	It's like Gateway Pundit all over again.
	So you can't look at Daily Mail with an ad blocker?
	It's not letting me do that.
	No, you know what?
	I have an idea, but do it now.
	Take a second.
	It's completely smooth and filtered back.
	Yeah, I don't care about that.
	Do you have any like good places to eat like for young people?
	Not really my scene, though.
	Are you sure?
	What do young people eat?
	There's fabulous places.
	Well, we should maybe meet up this weekend.
	They're going to be dishing me and I'm going to be all alone.
	Like, do you want to exchange numbers or something?
	To hang out?
	Are you sure?
	I mean, we could just like grab each other's Facebook, give me your number, and then we'll meet up this weekend and it'll be great.
	I mean, you don't want to hang out with me?
	Oh, you're married.
	Oh, I got you.
	Oh, we're going to push around the corner.
	Oh, I mean, think about it.
	Just you, me.
	It would be.
	If a woman hit on me like that, I would smell a rat pretty fucking fast.
	Do you have glasses on?
	Nice booty.
	F ⁇ off, little girl.
	All right.
	I said no.
	This seems totally fake.
	Totally fake.
	Fake on all fronts.
	The whole thing is fake.
	They might be pranking the wife.
	Like, the wife might be...
	That might be a real reaction from her.
	Or pranking the show.
	Maybe, like, they just, they say, they send him out and they say, go get this footage.
	And then he brings it back and they know it's garbage and they know it's fake, but, or they don't care if it's fake.
	They're just like, all right, this will play on the show.
	I mean, all those things are so fucking fake.
	But he's the real deal.
	He sucks him.
	He's the real deal.
	Find me the shit thing.
	That will make this whole day worth it.
	Yeah, that would be good.
	So we got Louis J. Gomez.
	What is his name?
	Louis Mercado.
	You forgot his name already?
	Louis Mercado.
	You're a bad person.
	Like, I used to think you're a fuck-up, but now I think you're just, like, bad.
	I could be sabotaging.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	If I found out that you worked for, I don't know, Antifa, I would say Touche.
	You did it.
	You did a great job.
	You're really good at your job.
	You're the Project Veritas of the left.
	Okay, now that you've planted that seed, I can't get it out of my head.
	Up to my ankles in human feces.
	But I'm sure that's nothing you can't handle, right?
	Speaking of human shit, how's that fat heifer of a...
	Speaking of human shit, how's it going?
	Way before he even says human.
	This is where...
	This is when we go, this guy's just the best guy in the world.
	We need to become his friend.
	But no.
	Speaking of human shit, how's that fat heifer of a wine reviewer's door?
	That is not okay.
	Speaking of human shit, beep.
	What's up, nerd?
	No, leave me alone.
	Oh, that was close.
	I'm so sick of people calling black kids nerds.
	What's the sticker on his shirt?
	What is that?
	Is that like from Walmart and they forgot to take the size large off?
	They forgot to put the tag in the right place?
	Nerd?
	What are you doing?
	Leave me alone.
	What's up, loser?
	Nice shirt.
	Your mom get it for you?
	Yeah, you like it?
	Are you getting smart with me?
	Slap.
	Yeah, that's what I thought.
	I'm so sick of small, diminutive, effeminate white bullies picking on huge black kids.
	This is us imagining if the races were reversed, and it doesn't work.
	It does not work.
	Yeah, that's what I thought.
	Stop pulling giant black kids.
	It looks like they're 40.
	Yo, dude, nice glasses.
	Uh, thank you.
	Yo, can I see him?
	No, you're just gonna run off from coming in.
	Nerd.
	Nerd.
	Who wrote this?
	Them?
	All right, let's get to the mailbag.
	We're running out of time.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a ten.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	I didn't.
	Oh, I sent you this separately.
	It's not in the mailbag per se.
	Hey, Gavin, thanks for bringing up the hot professor lecture on your show.
	Look at another example of these stupid little interconnected webs all justifying themselves in media, aka a circle jerk.
	I remember hearing Miriam Dictionary changing the definition of racism, and so I was just going through words and found this.
	Look at the example sentences they use for the word essentialism, which, by the way, you learn these words in college that are not words.
	That's not a word.
	And Brian, for tomorrow's episode, I want a lot more than the bookshelf going on.
	Okay.
	Like, for example, if we're doing LGBT or Antifa, I want like an Antifa montage going on in the background.
	Gotcha.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Makai.
	So let's see the word essentialism.
	Just like intersectionality, you're going into debt to learn words that no one in real life uses, and you're going to look like an asshole when you bring them up in public.
	What out of this proposal would you say are examples of essentialism?
	Blow it up?
	The view that all children should be taught on traditional and ideas and methods regarding essential prevalent culture.
	I want to see examples of it.
	Oh, shoot.
	Because in the thing he sent me, I didn't include the picture.
	It was from the same stupid leftist writer using the word essentialism.
	And both their examples were that writer.
	But that's not in the thing.
	They used two sentences from the same writer writing with the same thing.
	In all of the internets, Miriam couldn't find one other use of this word by anyone.
	So go back to 3.6, shithead.
	3.6?
	Okay.
	Yeah, the link we were just at.
	We want to see...
	Example sentences.
	There we go.
	Yeah.
	Oh, they've since changed it.
	No.
	Yes.
	What did it say?
	See that Cecilia Danantosio?
	Yeah.
	She was responsible for both.
	Wait, does it...
	And it doesn't like shuffle them.
	I don't know.
	Okay, I just...
	But I have a screen grab of both of them being Cecilia.
	That bears repeating.
	To undo the racial essentialism of D ⁇ D would drastically alter the character of the game.
	So then he goes into a rabbit hole of this Cecilia Denastasia chick.
	She's a SJW gamer who writes about feminism and political correctness and how important it is in gaming and how all gamers are white supremacists.
	And she has this strange, you know how we talk about the sprinkles with comedy?
	She has the sprinkles of sex appeal.
	She just put out this gem, 3-8.
	What we got here?
	How Roblox became a playground for virtual fascists.
	But look her up in Google Images, and you're going to have weird feelings in your loins.
	Okay.
	Hot chicks who aren't attractive, that's kind of a boring subject.
	We've covered it a lot.
	But I find unattractive chicks who are attractive to be a fascinating subject.
	Because you're like, what is it about her weird schnaz?
	Like, there's just something happening Egyptian looking?
	Well, Danastasia's got to be Greek.
	She's kind of different in every picture.
	Look at that one where she's on the couch with her feet.
	Like, that's such a weird picture.
	Yeah, that is kind of cool.
	What's happening to my Dinkus?
	Is it because she's like kind of a nerd?
	And you're like, I can show you the world?
	She's like, like Oscar Wilde said, pretty is pretty, but only ugly can be beautiful.
	She's beautiful.
	Because she's weird looking.
	She's got like a sharp Italian face.
	Yeah.
	Interesting.
	Interesting.
	Kind of reminds me of Jordan Peterson's daughter.
	Yeah, she's got a strong nose, but it doesn't take away from her base.
	It's not a gross nose, yeah.
	That will that angles a little bit.
	Don't get a nose job, please, Cecilia.
	We don't want you to do that.
	All right, so now the way we do the mailbag is I send you the subject headers and blue flag them, and I don't have my computer on my desk anymore.
	Oh.
	Don't tell me you don't have access to the mail, or I will fucking kill you.
	Um, hold on, this is good.
	This is good.
	So Norwegian Sprinkles is the first one.
	Yeah, I just saw that one.
	You.
	I would have not even killed you, but slowly, like North Korea, slowly murdered the people around you until you committed suicide.
	I don't know if I'd commit suicide.
	Wait, I need to see the letter, dumbass.
	Remember, I don't have the letters anymore.
	Okay, so how do I show this without docks in this neckro?
	Oh, I didn't think of that.
	Hold on, I could cross it.
	Let's zoom in on it.
	Here we go.
	This guy seems to think that his...
	Oh, finish setting up your TV, my TV says.
	Seems to think that probably he's probably Norwegian himself, and he thinks this guy is the Norwegian John Blue.
	Or you could read it.
	Well, I could show it, but just crop.
	Whatever gets the letter onto the fucking show as soon as possible.
	Well, there you just showed his name.
	So when are you going to crop it?
	Whatever, I mean, whatever gets it on faster, and that was going to be the fastest way.
	So you abandon your initial idea to get it on faster.
	My idea was not very fast.
	Anyway, just put it up for fuck's sakes.
	I'm getting mad.
	Sup, guys, I don't know about it.
	I can't read that.
	It's too small.
	Well, we'll blow it up.
	Sup guys, I don't know what it is about tall, lanky guys who look like they're made of rubber, but I always crack up from them.
	Case in point, this Norwegian guy who I think has the sprinkles in the same way that John Belushi has them.
	He could be giving a funeral eulogy and I would be cracking up at his stupid face.
	Dude, you're wrong.
	What are you talking about?
	Click on it.
	Let's see it.
	Great flow here, Rygai.
	Great flow.
	I mean, humor is subjective, but you suck.
	Is this my kidding?
	Look, I'm not bending my knees.
	Aren't I as funny as John Belushi?
	Belushi would bend his knees.
	That was brutal, sir.
	Absolutely brutal.
	There's another link.
	You want to click that?
	No, I don't.
	I'm done with that forever.
	Thank you for turning us on to that comedy genius.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Is the next letter?
	Why don't you just read it?
	Because you have Down syndrome.
	Great.
	Gav, you probably have already seen this just happened over the weekend.
	Show yourself.
	This is how that's working out for them.
	I saw this before.
	And, you know, I'm sure people would say, well, this is how trashy people act.
	No, there's no trashy white rednecks humping an ambulance as someone is being wheeled in.
	I assume they were shot.
	And then mock fucking someone who's twerking and then filming it.
	Is he even filming it or is he just looking at his phone?
	Yeah, he's filming himself.
	Bang her.
	This is...
	I don't get it.
	What's the point?
	They'll always show you the Montreal riots at the Guns N' Roses concert, too.
	Wait a minute.
	I just realized something.
	Not one of our cameras catches my TV screen that's on my desk.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's number two.
	Number one's close.
	And then it's out of frame.
	I could sneak it into this one.
	But we'll lose a little bit more of that.
	That'll be a little mystery for everybody.
	Okay.
	There's a screen down here.
	Hold on a second.
	Let's do it.
	Do you want to use your super cam?
	Super cam coming up.
	Hey guys, frankly.
	Look at that fucking hair.
	You know, Verdilla.
	Look at that ridiculous mop.
	There we go.
	It's the broken TV.
	Remember I had a broken TV?
	I kind of like the way it looks.
	Kind of badass.
	This is a cool camera.
	Alright, next letter.
	When will this bubble burst?
	He says.
	Maybe I'll print them.
	I'll print out the letters next show.
	Would you like to read it?
	This one's kind of long and I'm annoying.
	Okay.
	Let's see.
	So we're going to dox him.
	I can't read that.
	It's cropped.
	And you look like you're doxing the person.
	It's hard to not dox and show this male here.
	Okay, alright.
	I'll just scroll along with you.
	Meaning, this.
	Hey, Gav.
	I grew up in Glasgow and had plenty of opportunity to act like that around cops.
	It just never happened.
	And if you're caught, you're caught.
	Act sensibly and it'll turn out the best for you.
	Have a look at this classic situation.
	I feel like it has all the boxes ticked.
	Move it over.
	It's crap, Ryan.
	No other way.
	Useless tiny female cop doing absolutely fuck all.
	Totally compliant and not aggressive black suspect.
	Joke.
	An ultra-woke rich kid for Vancouver with nothing to be angry about.
	My question to you is: when do you think this bubble will burst?
	This young black guy in Vancouver has clearly been radicalised by all the excitement in America and will hopefully get a rude awakening.
	As for the pink shirt loser, cocking back his tiny little noodle arm threatening to punch a cop, hilarious, when his phone gets launched 30 feet away.
	Love the show, man.
	It's truly an escape to normal life like you said in a previous show.
	Listening to you and Kamehi at bullshit and there's a breath of fresh air.
	Truly, all the best.
	Salmon Edmonton.
	Let's see the video he's talking about.
	I've already taken a peek at this.
	All the...
	Move it over.
	Tell me what I'm getting arrested for, Faggot.
	Look at that woman.
	She's like a weird little Peruvian maid.
	She's smaller than my daughter.
	And look at this dickweed.
	I want your name and your badge number.
	Cops shouldn't wear shorts ever.
	I don't care if it's 110 degrees.
	They should not Be on bicycles either.
	Motorcycles, cars, black wingtips.
	Is he trying to MMA the guy?
	They don't even know what he did.
	He could be defending a pedophile.
	This is pleasant to watch.
	I'm enjoying this.
	Why is that?
	I don't know, but I just had an idea.
	He should be like, if every time you don't back up, I'm going to hit this guy in his head.
	And then you start doing that.
	You now have a hostage.
	Now you can make the other people do what you want.
	That should be a cop.
	Look at this.
	Is that kid really trying to get in there?
	Throws his phone.
	Look how useless she is.
	Look at her.
	The kid really does care about the kid more than his phone.
	Motherfucker.
	Vancouver's really gone off the deep end, by the way.
	It's as bad as Portland and Berkeley as far as the general mentality goes.
	This isn't a good...
	Yeah, that's better.
	Look at this mob forming.
	They have no idea what he did.
	That was like the woman who protested on the plane until the immigrant, illegal immigrant, was released.
	She canceled the plane ride.
	They canceled the flight.
	And then we find out that he was raping kids.
	Hey, do you got that Anthony Cumia bumper?
	Oh, that clip?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, give me one second.
	What is this guy with no shirt?
	I got it.
	Don't worry, I got it.
	He's got no shoes on.
	What is he doing?
	Put on my jacket and try to find some shoes.
	I'm a lifeguard.
	I'll handle this.
	He's serious.
	He thinks because he's a lifeguard he can help out.
	What a boob.
	Should I be playing this this long?
	I'm really enjoying it.
	It's kind of fascinating to watch.
	Just such a shit show.
	When will the bubble burst?
	It won't burst.
	Here's what you have to do.
	You don't wait for any of these people to become sane.
	You just start arresting them.
	Law and order.
	I'm sorry.
	It's the only solution to all this problem.
	We have to start arresting people.
	We saw it in New York with Giuliani.
	He started arresting turnsaw jumpers and all the bullshit stopped overnight.
	All right.
	This next one's called Women Writers.
	All right.
	I'll be printing these out from now on.
	Sorry about the flowkill, guys.
	Pretty good show, I would say, for a brand new studio.
	Here we go.
	A few kinks.
	Gavin Orion, here's another great example of how women writers use their work.
	There's their piece as a effing diary.
	Ooh, who care?
	Me search.
	Student loan payments will resume soon.
	Here's what you should do now by Annie Nova at CNBC.
	And I looked her up.
	She's an infant.
	She's like 20 years old.
	So they have a bunch of subheads there, like Daily Mail.
	They stole that from Daily Mail.
	Right?
	The other day, I did something I haven't done in over a year.
	I signed into my student loan account, or at least that's what I tried to do.
	Turns out I'd forgotten my password and couldn't get in.
	Instead of going through the steps to change it, I closed the browser and went back into denial.
	Come this fall, like, does she think that's a fun way to introduce a story?
	It is if you're Madonna.
	It is if you're Roger Stone.
	If you're some famous person that doesn't usually write, then yeah.
	Have an opening paragraph that says, when I finished filming my latest movie, I got into my car and I couldn't find my keys.
	Jennifer Anniston, yes.
	You can put that in your intro.
	Some fucking numbskull babysitter?
	I don't give a shit, bitch.
	And then last one just says thank you.
	I gotta get out of here.
	Matt's double header.
	Looking, scanning.
	It's got a blue flag.
	The subject is thank you in lowercase.
	You can just do a find if you apropos of nothing.
	I want to express my deepest gratitude to show yourself when you're talking, please.
	And by extension, we can't see you, Ryan.
	Shouldn't that be a macro?
	Apropos of nothing.
	I want to express my deepest gratitude to Gavin and by extension censored TV.
	Gavin has been a shepherd through some of the most illogical years and has very, very positively influenced my psyche.
	You know what?
	The face recognition can't zoom in on you because you have a mop on your head.
	You have a pet.
	You have a household pet on your head.
	Right.
	Yeah, it is fluffy.
	It's like what a lonely old woman has on her lap in her final Twilight years.
	That's what's on your head.
	And then you do that thing.
	You think that helps?
	What do you think that does?
	It spreads it out to make it like crazy on the sides, too.
	So now you have a whole thing.
	That looks really good now.
	That looks a lot better.
	You don't look like an idiot at all now.
	All right, cool.
	All right, so you've influenced this guy's psyche and his consciousness.
	No, no, read his letter.
	Apropos of nothing.
	I want to express my deepest gratitude to Gavin and by extension.
	Wait, what's gratitude?
	Gratitude.
	Gratitude?
	Gratitude.
	Like coupon or gratitude.
	Costumer.
	Gratitude.
	Gratitude.
	Nope.
	Costume.
	Costume?
	Gratitude.
	It's just a T. Okay.
	Let's try again.
	Okay.
	Apropos of nothing, I want to express my deepest gratitude to Gavin and by extensioncensor.tv.
	Gavin has been a shepherd through some of the most illogical years and has very positively influenced my psyche and consciousness.
	Keep up the fight, dude.
	Exclamation point.
	Yeah, anyway.
	That's what I like to hear, and that's really the purpose of this show: not to blow your mind with radical concepts, but to blow your mind with common sense.
	That's where we're at now.
	It's mind-blowing to be a reasonable person in 2021.
	All right, let's go to the final video.
	Car fights.
	My favorite kind of fights.
	I prefer them to fist fights.
	I hate seeing a fist fight where they stomp on the head at the end.
	That's...
	When I'm God, I'm going to outlaw those.
	Please, if you knock someone out, just make sure they don't get run over and walk away.
	Oh, the AC's kicking in.
	Let's check out this car fight.
	Chances are...
	Chances are.
	Oh, my God.
	Holy shit.
	What the fuck?
	Someone was in the car.
	Oh, shit.
	Run up there and get his license plate for your insurance.
	That was exciting.
	Cheap and easy.
	So there you have it, folks.
	This is the new studio.
	We'll be here from now on until we move down south.
	I hope you enjoyed this first show.
	We'll be ironing out the kinks as we move forward, and it'll be getting better and better and much more exciting.
	But yes, Censored.tv and Get Off My Lawn are a place to relax, a place where clown world has no power over us.
	We can make fun of people who act like retards.
	If black people do something wrong, if they behave badly, we can call it out, just like we call it out with other race.
	That's not radical behavior.
	That's mid-2000s liberal behavior.
	That's how we feel.
	We don't care who's gay.
	We don't care what race you are.
	We don't care what you do with your private time.
	We're socially liberal, fiscally conservative.
	We're libertarians who want strong borders.
	We want everyone to have a gun, including black people in the hood.
	They need fair gun laws more than anyone, as Maj Touré will point out.
	We want the drug war to end.
	We think it's ridiculous.
	Let's legalize all of it.
	But more importantly, we want the family to return as the backbone of America.
	The patriarchy is what built this country.
	Christianity built this country.
	If you're an atheist or you're non-Christian, at least respect that, that this is a Christian nation and it was built on Christianity.
	And we have to at least revere that.
	We have to revere the family, the housewife, and the entrepreneur.
	You know, there's not enough stories in school about entrepreneurs, I guess, because they tend to be white males and that's taboo in this day and age.
	Well, we're not racist, so we don't care what race someone is when we're praising them and what race someone is when we're criticizing them.
	If you want to form a pattern, then form your own fucking pattern.
	We're about meritocracy and truth here at censored.tv.
	And if that's radical, then call me radical.
	And also, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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