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June 4, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:05:08

GOML LIVE #101 - CRASS

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	You know, uh dinner darted, dinner darted, dinner darted day, and I danned it.
	Get off my lawn with Dubai Dante, Dinner Dante, Dinny Dante, I'd like to apologize for not knowing what the song opening song was for today.
	That's not who I am as a host, as an entertainer.
	It's not who Ryan is, as whatever the fuck he is.
	And that's not who we are as a network.
	So we want to say we apologize.
	Ryan, do you want to apologize?
	He is sorry.
	Okay.
	Now there's a way we can make it up to you.
	They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
	Excuse me.
	Did you recognize that song?
	It's been in my head all day, and I don't know what it is.
	It's a very Kurt Cobain kind of vocal.
	A do Donald Darted.
	Dino Darted.
	Dino Da Dad.
	And I dare do don't de.
	That sounds familiar.
	But what era?
	Nirvana.
	So 90s, right?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay, so not just sounding like Nirvana, but like the same.
	I don't know.
	I don't think it's modern.
	You don't dinoo.
	I think like broken-hearted.
	What you dare?
	What you don't dare?
	That part sounds very familiar.
	Yeah.
	Broken-hearted.
	What you regret?
	You know that I should be able to sing it into Shazam.
	Yeah, they haven't figured that out yet, but you absolutely should.
	Absolutely should.
	Got you, no?
	Foo Fighters?
	Ooh.
	Foo Fighters.
	Yes, it's definitely.
	Is it definitely Foo Fighters?
	Is it Monkey Wrench?
	No, that's Don't Wanna Be.
	Maybe it's part of Monkey Wrench.
	Oh, gross.
	I've been singing Foo Fighters.
	Because I talked about it.
	Carried on.
	Ah, shit.
	Is that it?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	That's like when you hear something and you can't remember what it is and you go, I don't know what this is, but I like this.
	And now I can say proudly that I like this because it's totally objective because I don't know the context.
	And then you go, oh, it's fucking culture club.
	Oh, I've been sucking a dick.
	I've been sucking a dick.
	Hey, this is my, you take up the blindfold.
	I've been making out with my mom.
	Talk about it.
	Oh, it is.
	You were so close with Nirvana, too.
	I mean, I like it.
	I met Dave Rose, an awesome guy.
	I met him a couple times.
	He is a cool guy.
	Dude, they rock.
	When I saw them live, I saw them live.
	No.
	Well, they're the only rock band that's allowed to rock these days.
	I remember when my buddy joined them.
	What?
	Yeah, Chris, what's his name?
	Novoselic?
	My buddy.
	Hey, Chris, Novoselic.
	You're lucky you got into the Foo Fighters.
	What have you ever done before them?
	He's done a lot.
	He's not in the Foo Fighters, you fucking human turd.
	Oh.
	He was in Nirvana.
	That's Pap Smear from Scream.
	He's an icon, and that guy.
	Wait, maybe it isn't even him.
	No, I think he's later on.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's not him.
	That guy, the gay guy with the blonde hair, he's a hardcore icon, and that was Dave Rohl hiring him as help out, you know, an epic buddy.
	But yeah, my buddy Chris, I think his name was, joined him, and I just saw him the next year, and his eyes look like the way these glasses make my eyes look.
	And I was like, dude, are you just doing infinite cocaine?
	You look like shit.
	And then he got his shit together, and now he looks great.
	Chris former members.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Chris Schifflett.
	Oh, shit.
	When he joined them, he was like 30, and then next year he was 49.
	He's old Owen Wilson now.
	Yeah, he looks good there.
	You should have seen him a year after he joined the band.
	I mean, I'm sure, I'm not saying they're cokeheads, but you're on tour with the biggest band in the world.
	There's going to be like softballs of Coke.
	I remember Matt Sweeney, who was with Iggy Pop now.
	He was backstage at his hotel room, and he had a baseball of Coke, a baseball.
	And he said to his friend, like, this is, what is this?
	There he is.
	What are you supposed to do?
	He was like, this is an addiction in my hand.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	It's like dating a prostitute.
	It's like you fuck a prostitute and the deal is you have to keep fucking her for one year.
	Well, now you're married.
	So he just like, I know this is going to sound crazy, but it's balouche.
	And he just dropped it in the toilet.
	Wow.
	Balouche?
	The water probably went up like 10 feet.
	I can't believe.
	So that song wasn't Monkey Wrench, was it?
	No, it's Big Me.
	The fake Mentos commercial music video?
	They parody like Mentos.
	Awesome dude.
	And you know what?
	Or isn't my cup of tea?
	And they're way shittier than Foo Fighters.
	But people go to or shows.
	Ryan probably likes them.
	He likes everything shitty.
	Oh, wait, I don't know.
	Or I talked to, speaking of name-dropping, I talked to Fred Armison about this once when I finally reached that certain age where you're like, you know what?
	I love it.
	You guys enjoy your show.
	80,000 people are dancing around.
	Who the fuck am I?
	I like the shittiest music in the world.
	You know what I did last night?
	I sat in my front room and I put on Christ the Album by Krass.
	It is unlistenable to everyone but me and 37 people in the world.
	I don't want you to like it.
	It's unlikable.
	So shut up, me.
	Fuck me.
	Let's listen to Christ.
	Come on, jump anywhere else.
	And also, when I listen to it, it reminds me of being 16 and I'm whisked back there.
	So nostalgia is a huge part of it.
	Oh, this is great.
	Come on.
	This is.
	What's this one called?
	Gangs Are About The Rival Rebel.
	Yeah, this is the song I was listening to last night.
	I'm good.
	The Rival Rebel Trebles Meet or something?
	Damn, I'm good.
	Rival Tribal Rebels.
	Rival Tribal Rebel Rebels.
	Part 2, you know.
	They sing that really fast.
	Rebel Trevor Rebels Meet.
	And he's like, you can stand there on the corner with your anger and your hate.
	Stand there and fester because you left it too late.
	And it's sarcastically talking about violent hooligans and stuff and how horrible they are.
	But now I'm so old that I'm like, yeah, fucking, let's stand there on the corner with our anger and our hate.
	Like, I like, I don't take it ironically anymore.
	Same with, they have this song, Burkatek's Bribe.
	And it's like about sexism and how, you know, with my red high heels, I'm easy prey.
	I'll be your bonsai, your beautiful bonsai, your black-eyed bonsai, erotically rotting.
	And it's all about submission.
	And it's like, you're supposed to be mad that she's such a slave.
	And I'm sitting there with a giant heart on now, going, this chick sounds like a catch.
	She wants to be slapped around.
	I got a fucking coconut smasher.
	So I love their anti-skinhead hooligan stuff now as unironic.
	Oh, listen to the variety of instruments.
	Bongos.
	And listen to how this goes from bongos to punk.
	From bongos to punk.
	The Gavin McKinna story.
	I was born in Africa.
	I was raised by Filakuti.
	And then I moved to London and discovered punk.
	I'd love to Filaquti.
	Cherished.
	Fuck while the naming.
	Fucked for the naming.
	As for you, you're a fifth of purity.
	Well, give me your morals.
	The filth in my eyes.
	Pack them away with the rest of your lies.
	The pain dead pass morals.
	You've got to hear the segment.
	One God, yes.
	One church.
	One shirt, sure, yep.
	One husband.
	One husband?
	Yep.
	Support that.
	Support them hustle.
	Anyway.
	So yeah, don't listen to me about the Foo Fighters or OAR or Krass.
	But you know what happened last night while I was trying to enjoy my little private crass session in the front room with a bourbon that I haven't had at home in many months, but I was buying booze for our new bar, which is in our new studio, and I brought some home.
	And my wife got Thai takeout.
	And I like to get the beef, spicy beef.
	And I had as much as I could, and then it was sitting next to the sink in that big sort of container.
	And I'm looking at it a little while later, and I think, I believe that hot sauce kills COVID and disease, just the same way booze does.
	I'm never sick.
	And I never got COVID.
	I never got backs, because I'm always ingesting rotten stuff, hot, spicy food.
	Like, if you lived in my esophagus for an hour, you'd have AIDS.
	So I'm walking by and I'm thinking, I need to hydrate.
	I didn't eat enough for dinner.
	And this is spicy.
	That's all three.
	So I go by and I just go, and I drink it down until it's just the beef and the peppers and stuff at the bottom.
	That was quite spicy.
	Move on.
	And then go to the front room, listening to Krass alone, have a sip of whiskey and then go and barf into my mouth, swallow it again.
	Dude, emergency.
	How did you say that?
	I considered calling, my wife had already been gone to bed, and I was like, Emily, this is not a joke.
	Call 911.
	I couldn't even talk.
	I was like, wow.
	And I took my shirt off, so I'm shirtless, going, holy shit.
	And the pain was excruciating right up the nose.
	I'm spitting all over the carpet.
	Whoa.
	I go to the other room, shirtless.
	Not panicking, but unable to breathe.
	So it was like someone was killing you and you decided it was time to die.
	Like say you were a prisoner with jihadists and they're like, I was going to do a Japanese accent for something.
	You won't tell us who is responsible for killing Osama Pen Lata.
	I am a jihadist.
	Because I want to sink a sword into me.
	So say Japanese people in World War II.
	You're Luis Fiorpini, whatever his name is, Zampaneri.
	And they're like, you tell us or we drive the sword.
	And I was just like, like dying, but not panicking.
	And then I go, we have a big thing of ash by the fireplace where you put the ash.
	And sometimes I'll piss in that.
	Jeez.
	Because punk rock, man.
	It's getting absorbed.
	It's not like you come in the next day and go, ooh, who pissed in the ash?
	Like, the ash sucks it up.
	So I go over there and I'm like, And I start like having those pre-puke dry hees.
	Dude, it didn't go away for one hour.
	Like, I was, I eventually was able to breathe.
	But as far as like the excruciating pain in the esophagus, one hour.
	Dude, you've like really fucked yourself up two days in a row.
	Like the first one, the chemical smell?
	Chemical smell?
	I singe my nose by sniffing my daughter's hair dye.
	And then I still have my cracked rib.
	And then I'm skipping rope at the gym.
	And I go, I'm getting really good at this.
	Oh, Jesus.
	And I put my back out skipping rope.
	And now if I inhale deeply, actually, it's not so bad right now.
	But this morning and the past 24 hours before that, it felt like a giant was just putting his thumbs on my spine every time.
	It's almost like I'm a 50-year-old or something.
	Jeez, man.
	Anyway, I'm late for the show and was unable to get the song ready because I got this email from Rolling Stone.
	And you got to answer those right away or they go, I tried, but you weren't available.
	And I know after the show, I'm not going to want to sit on my fucking computer answering questions, right?
	So I stopped preparing for the show and answered her questions.
	So I thought I'd just share that with you.
	By the way, this is who runs the media.
	When you have a bad reputation, which I do have, my son's not invited to a bat mitzvah this weekend that everyone in the entire school is invited to, but his dad's a Nazi, so the American Indian boy can't go to the Jewish girl's coming of age because her father did a satirical video called 10 Things I Hate About the Jews.
	You've tried to find the logic in any of that.
	But so you wonder, well, who does ruin your reputation?
	Is it your fault?
	No.
	Well, you made jokes that you knew could be misperceived, mistaken for something else, like 10 Things I Had About the Jews.
	No, no.
	I did How to Fight a Baby.
	I did a video on Sophie Can Walk, How to Make a Baby Walk.
	I did an article called Divorce Your Wife about how you should divorce your wife, which isn't actually about divorcing your wife.
	So Jonathan Swift suggested that the Irish poor eat their young.
	So no, I'm not going to abandon satire because people are desperate to purposely misunderstand satire, misunderstand jokes.
	But you wonder, well, who is responsible for your reputation?
	Who runs Wikipedia?
	Who runs the articles that people cite when they prove that you're a Nazi or whatever?
	Well, E.J. Dixon is one.
	She's the E.J. Dixon.
	Senior writer at Rolling Stone.
	So you look at Rolling Stone, you think Hunter S. Thompson.
	You think of some of the greatest writers of all time.
	I think the best article ever written is called Death of a Cheerleader, and it was in Rolling Stone.
	I used to subscribe to it in the 80s when I was a kid.
	And that article, I bought it actually on eBay.
	I bought that issue.
	And it's good.
	It's a good issue.
	They had quality writing.
	Yeah, that's fucking quality.
	Randall Sullivan.
	So we started with Randall Sullivan, and who do we have now?
	We have E.J. Dixon.
	You go, okay, so she's writing about hate and Proud Boys and Charlottesville.
	And here she is saying that Israeli military is trying to look seductive and that's not working anymore.
	Okay, that's kind of a valid thing to talk about.
	Is there a YouTube expert who can answer a few questions for me?
	I'm curious about something.
	Okay, that doesn't say anything.
	Joe writing about Olivier Rodrigo is the collab the world was waiting for.
	So I don't know what that is.
	She's a Disney star, I guess.
	Okay, so we're starting to suss out her repertoire, right?
	Keep going down.
	And inevitably, when you look at these women who send you these questions, it's a lot of benefit shit.
	A fun thing about working motherhood that no one tells you is you'll probably only have enough time to shower once a week at most.
	Okay, that's valid.
	I can't believe she's a mom.
	I'm very surprised.
	It's gotten to the point where I almost exclusively read other journalists' newsletters now.
	Okay, so you read other people's opinions about things.
	You read other comments about comments rather than the thing itself.
	What's this now?
	The Veiled Prophet Ball is a fucked up racist institution, and we should be examining the roots of all white American institutions.
	Ellie Kemper was not a KKK beauty queen.
	It's kind of a problem that the second narrative won out of the former.
	That's ironic that she's writing about how Twitter turned Kimmy Schmidt into a KKK queen.
	Wait, what?
	She's talking about...
	Oh, look at that poor Kimmy Schmidt.
	That girl was a writer, and she starred in the office, right?
	Wonderful young lady.
	Then she got her Kimmy Schmidt gig, and I thought, she's not going to get married.
	She's going to focus on career.
	And now look at her fucking face.
	She's a beautiful granny.
	Waited too long, my dear.
	You are Betty Davis today.
	Veiled prophet.
	Okay, anyway, keep going down, though.
	Because these are the ones I haven't seen.
	Like, go way down.
	There we go.
	Hillary Duff through the first brick at Stonewall.
	And it's some Hillary Duff being a cool pro-gay chick, I assume.
	I really shouldn't say that.
	So you go.
	We'll say that something's gay when you mean it's bad.
	It's insulting.
	When every time something was bad, gay commercial.
	That silk girl wearing a skirt as a top.
	Yeah, that could be another colloquialism.
	That's so girl wearing a skirt as a top.
	That's a quick way to make fun of something.
	Guys, am I the only person?
	Here we go.
	This is it in a nutshell.
	Am I the only person who just learned that Matt LeBlanc made out with Kate Hudson when he was 28 and she was just 17?
	Perfect.
	Hey, Jen Winner, can you assign this girl to talk to a 50-year-old man who started the greatest fraternal organization in the world that was mentioned by both Biden and Trump and is being blamed for the January 6th alleged insurrection?
	No problem.
	Say what you will about Gen Z. Their commitment to making top-tier content is unimpeachable.
	Okay.
	TikTok, my cock.
	You openly referred to the Prow Boys as a gang on Joe Rogan.
	I'm jumping ahead to, like I said, I only answer questions by email these times, so when you get legal, you can say this is what I said.
	Why every girl under 5-2 looks like sadness from inside out?
	That's not even a nostalgia.
	This is the new Hunter S. Thompson, folks.
	She's on the case.
	You openly referred to the Prow Boys as a gang on Joe Rogan's podcast in 2017.
	I think she's getting her research from Vic Berger's montage of me saying nigger and Zeke Hiley.
	So this is her, like, never watching the show, never seeing the actual original thing, but comments on comments is what journalists focus on now.
	You openly referred to the Prow Boys as a gang on Joe Rogan's podcast.
	So she's talking about a clip that she saw that was literally four seconds.
	That's her research, Rolling Stone.
	She went to Wikipedia.
	I go, this was said in a jovial fashion on a comedy podcast.
	If you heard Vince McMahon say he started a cult when discussing the WWE, you would get it.
	An actual gang in real life has two basic factors.
	It has a leader.
	There is top-down management with one major decision maker.
	And two, it does illegal activities.
	MS-13 is a gang.
	You summarize the role the fourth degree plays in membership in the group.
	Again, not the actual fourth degree.
	He just comments on it.
	Can you comment on what you meant by the gang designation?
	Yeah, that was a real designation on Joe Rogan's podcast.
	I hereby designate the Prowl Boys a gang.
	And what the purpose of fourth degree membership was, particularly in the context of past remarks you made that the Prowl Boys only commit violence in self-defense.
	I didn't actually check her hyperlink when she said remarks.
	I wonder what that was.
	It was NPR.
	Oh, she's listened to the NPR diss on us that Dante Nero was in and just repeated it.
	Shame.
	The NPR's thing was by this disgruntled lesbian who doesn't like masculinity because she can't have it.
	Because she wants to not be a woman.
	She has a guy who has treated women like sexual prisoners.
	Oh, she gets to that.
	She interviewed Dante Nero.
	Yeah, yeah.
	So she went...
	No, no, the woman here, E.J. Dixon.
	Oh.
	She wrote for Vice, by the way.
	Oh, really?
	Interesting.
	Oh, she must be Canadian.
	No, the L?
	Would she get canceled for doing an impression of Macy Gray?
	We'll find out.
	It's racist.
	Probably is the only committed violence in self-defense.
	So her smoking gun here is that the fourth degree is something you get when you beat up Antifa.
	And that belies me saying that we're not violent, right?
	And I go, the fourth degree has been clarified many times, but the sites that have this clarification get banned and we go back to square one.
	Check the bylaws.
	And then I sent her to censored.tvnews where I did that fake news creates hate article, which, by the way, if anyone from censored.tv tech is watching, guys, if you go into archives of news, you can only go back like four articles.
	And this is what drives me nuts about our site and most sites in general.
	No one ever treats their product like an outsider.
	If you have a magazine, like back with Vice, I subscribed to Vice.
	I had it delivered to my door to see when it would arrive, to see if there was any problems.
	Was it damaged when it got there?
	Like you have to subscribe to your own thing.
	You have to watch your own shows.
	You have to read your own articles.
	If you own a restaurant, you have to eat the food there.
	Not in the kitchen.
	Go sit down.
	Be an undercover boss.
	Eat the food.
	And I get the feeling that I'm the only one on this site who actually uses it as an outsider.
	Anyway, I explained to her in the bylaws that the fourth degree of initiation is as follows.
	I'm saying this for the book so I can link it in the future.
	Section 2.
	The fourth degree of initiation symbolizes the formal recognition by the national chapter, and thus the fraternity as a whole, of a material sacrifice or service by a brother for or in the name of the fraternity.
	So it's a consolation prize if you get arrested or in a fight at a thing.
	It is expressly prohibited for a brother to quote unquote seek out the fourth degree of initiation while willfully engaging in dangerous activities or violating the law.
	Awards of the fourth degree of initiation are extraordinarily rare and honorary in nature.
	There are no express guidelines with respect to how the fourth degree is earned, and it may only be awarded by the founder of the fraternity or on application to the current national president.
	And now that I'm gone, it would go to the current national president.
	And I added that Proud Boys only became violent after being attacked by Antifa.
	We do not go to their things.
	They come to our things.
	If there's no Antifa, Proud Boys would go back to drinking alone in a bar.
	And then she says, we quote a statement you made on Proud Boys' website, distancing organization from Unite the Right, but also that members of FOAC, Fraternal Order of the Alt Knights, attended and that you'd previously interviewed and platformed Jason Kessler.
	Now, this is why I'm saying this on the show, because I know you guys are bored of Proud Boys by now, but to have someone on your show is to platform them.
	You shouldn't give Nazis a platform, which is retarded.
	Obviously, you want to have a variety of guests.
	David Duke was on CNN.
	Richard Spencer was on ESPN.
	Were they platforming him?
	No.
	Jason Kessler was on my show, my old show, the Gavin McInnes show.
	I screamed at him.
	I called him a liar.
	He told me that he was not all right.
	I said, you said you weren't all right.
	He quickly got off the fucking phone.
	That's all there.
	If you were interested, you will have seen that.
	Or if I could show it on YouTube and I wasn't banned, I could show you that.
	That was the context there.
	I was not platforming him.
	And I called bullshit on Charlottesville months before it happened.
	I said, don't go there.
	Back when I was more in control, I said, if you go there, you're out.
	I would have said that to Jan 6 if I still was the boss.
	Four guys went, they were booted out.
	Fraternal Order of Alt Knights, That was based Stickman, his experiment that failed almost immediately after it was started.
	They were already done by Charlottesville.
	You see how much, like, this is something I know a lot about, and I'm looking at a bunch of fake news.
	If you know a lot about old-timey CB mics and you read an article, I bet you see a million mistakes.
	In other words, the news is full of shit.
	It's written by lazy retards with an axe to grind.
	And it's even worse in modern times.
	I'm sure Rolling Stone back in the 80s made mistakes.
	But now we have EJ Dixon, who can't believe that some celebrity made out with a celebrity 40 years ago.
	Which one is her now?
	Where is she from?
	She's from Long Island, so they go hard.
	She looks like a young Amy Siskin.
	But yeah, I mean, what I mean, I think about Bleeper Girl all the time because what I think about most is just how quickly everybody's reaction was to be like completely turning against this girl.
	Yeah.
	And how just that wouldn't happen today at all.
	No, she would be so supported today.
	She would have an OnlyFans and she'd be making a fuck ton of money right now.
	Well, what's interesting.
	Don't you think those girls were freaked out by the fact that the one in the bottom left was a 10?
	Yeah, they hate that.
	It's like the elephant in the room, isn't it?
	And the 10 wants to be.
	The elephant in the room's top right.
	And the actual elephant in the room wants...
	The hot chick wants to be okay with them so bad.
	They're almost like black people.
	Like the way liberals treat black people.
	She's like, I don't hate you guys.
	I'm down with you.
	And they're like, fuck you, you rich white bitch.
	Yeah, she's like, I'm not rich.
	I just, I'm super good looking.
	Look at my photography behind me there.
	It's in folders.
	I do things.
	I'm not just hot.
	And E.J. Dixon goes, I'm not just hot either.
	And they go, we know.
	Yeah, we're.
	Yeah.
	Like when, what's her name, Tarana Burke, puts her arm around Alyssa Milano at the first Me Too and goes, we're not just sex objects.
	We're human beings.
	Stop seeing me and Alyssa Milano as just gorgeous women you're dying to fuck.
	Right, Alyssa?
	And she's like, you look like you're from the Star Wars part.
	You look like you just gave Boba Fett some weird coins.
	You look like when your mouth moves, all that should be coming out is...
	So I don't know what you're doing.
	You look like you're friends with the woman who plays the flute whose mouth is a long asshole and has those pipe cleaner legs.
	We are tired of being yelled at on the side of the street.
	What do they yell at you?
	That's her first Me Too.
	Boba Fett tried to fuck me at the Star Wars bar.
	No, when they yell at Melissa Milano, they're like, hey, baby.
	When they yell at you, they're like, stampede.
	It's not the same.
	The elephant in the zoom.
	I should have said that.
	Oh, the elephant in the zoom.
	That's a good one.
	It's too little, too late.
	I know.
	But yeah.
	For the record, Tarana Burke's, the reason she started Me Too, her impetus, her rape, was when she was like eight, she was roughhousing with some boys.
	Look at her fucking skin.
	She's a freak.
	I'm sorry.
	Tyrannosaurus Burke.
	And they were wrestling too much and her shirt ripped off.
	And she ran upstairs and says, Mom, the boys ripped off my shirt.
	They probably didn't even know she was a girl.
	When she was seven.
	And they ran away after they did it to try to get away with it.
	Yeah.
	And then her mother went, don't play with boys then.
	I'm kind of on her mom's side.
	Yeah.
	Why were you roughhousing with boys when you look like a boy and you have two different eyes and your skin is made of some sort of heat resistant barbecue plate?
	You look like you're made by the green egg.
	You fell asleep on a green egg.
	Anyway, I go.
	Imagine she's like really cool to hang out with, though.
	She's like super funny.
	Well, you know who's like that is Gabrie Sibedade.
	Who the hell?
	Oh, that's true.
	Precious.
	You could make the same insults about her.
	But she's mad.
	She's one of the funniest people in the world.
	Fucking hilarious, badass.
	Went to Jimmy Kimmel's wedding as his bride.
	That's funny.
	Made old people and kids cry.
	When she did the Black Hitler sketch, she went home in the Black Hitler clothes and walked around her neighborhood as Black Hitler.
	Wow.
	She's, you know, the fattest girls have been the funniest, cool to hang out with.
	Well, yeah, they better be.
	They got nothing else to offer.
	That's a good point.
	Performances by people.
	Grimsby, that movie is a great, if you're looking for a movie for your kid, he's like 11 years old.
	It's not a good movie.
	But that and Hot Rod are two movies you show your 11-year-old, 10- to 12-year-old boys.
	They are pissing their fucking pants.
	Slam dunk.
	You can find all that on the Top 10 Movies for Kids episode.
	It's a censored TV presents.
	Rules.
	Jason Kessler, who was sworn in as a Proud Boy on your show.
	This is false.
	He was not sworn in on my show.
	He infiltrated the club twice.
	We booted him out twice.
	Proud Boy's link to Unite the Right, blah, blah, blah.
	I already told you that.
	We spoke to Dante Nero.
	Who alleges that he confronted you after seeing the racist memes on the Proud Boy's Facebook page.
	That's true.
	He did confront me.
	And I was outraged.
	I went, what?
	Like Holocaust denial fucking shit?
	Blacks go back to Africa shit?
	What?
	He says you were surprised to see such language being used and posted a statement on Facebook discouraging use of such language.
	Well, I took him at his word and I said, what the fuck, guys?
	Stop.
	But then he looked at your old show episodes and saw you've been using racist language for years.
	He was on my old show episodes.
	He was a regular, right?
	He was a co-host, basically.
	B, I said, no racist shit, guys.
	What the fuck?
	And then I looked into it and saw, oh, actually, Dante's full of shit.
	It was just some dumb jokes.
	Yes, some of them were racist.
	When I joked that Jada Pinkett Smith was a monkey actress, that was a racist joke.
	A funny racist joke.
	Is heavy.com a friendly site?
	No.
	Well, this is the fairest thing I've ever seen.
	Five facts you need to know.
	All right, I'll just read the headlines.
	Well, how about the worship?
	Like, no one meant Dante seems to have forgotten this, that they worship the ground he walked on.
	We called him the Pope.
	Yeah.
	We sold shirts that said Dante Niero and he was dressed like the Pope.
	Yeah.
	We called him the Pope.
	And when we would go to meetups, all the, he was like how to get laid kind of guy, a pickup artist.
	He was surrounded by the youngest dudes, the dudes who had trouble, asking for tips.
	The five bricks.
	There was, yeah, the five bricks.
	He says you got to throw five bricks every day, which means you got to hit on a girl five times a day.
	Not like, can I fuck you?
	But like, nice shirt, that counts as a brick.
	Any kind of contact.
	I think it's a good tip.
	It's a great tip.
	So he'd be surrounded by like the guys who can't get laid, and I'd be surrounded by like more like dad kind of stuff, but we'd both have desperacitos around us.
	People love them.
	And here's something.
	When Dante shat on us on that NPR interview, which he's talking about in this, I go, Dante, did you mention that after your mom died, they raised $800 for you?
	And that doesn't sound like a lot now, but back then, I think New York was the only chapter.
	So it was like six people raising $800, right?
	I should say more like 15.
	And he goes, no, I didn't mention that.
	And I never spoke to him again after that.
	No, I didn't mention that.
	So he says he stopped taking your calls after that.
	Is that true?
	And no, there was no calls to not take.
	After he did the NPR thing and I pointed out the 800 bucks, I was like, you're fucking dead to me, you bitch.
	And I did say, I go, you just made all this shit up for attention.
	And he brought up a good point.
	He goes, I've been getting attention my whole life.
	I don't need it.
	Okay, well, then I'm not sure why you did it.
	Why'd you fucking stab us in the back, you pussy?
	Now, he is one of these Brooklyn blacks.
	And you got to understand, if you're not from New York, Harlem blacks are normal.
	They're hustlers.
	They're out there.
	They're like you and me.
	They're like southern blacks, really.
	Brooklyn blacks are, they tend to be disproportionately on welfare.
	They tend to be whiners.
	They're really into this victim complex shit.
	They're very behind the times.
	Like when Harlem blacks were wearing skinny jeans with the rest of us in the early aughts, Brooklyn blacks are still wearing the big baggy pants.
	And Dante still says shit like, to this day, he'll say shit like, every time I get in my car, I don't know if I'm coming home alive.
	What?
	Because you, remember Facebook had a big Obama thing?
	So he's got that whole like super neoliberal shit about how America's racist and Trump is a white supremacist and blah, blah, blah.
	And the liberals who do articles on Prowboys love him because he has their same politics.
	And it's weird because he's a sexist.
	He hates feminists and he was a pimp.
	I mention that to her too.
	I say, did you also know he spent his formative years as a pimp?
	It's funny how you feminist liberals are okay with someone who keeps sex slaves when it suits your narrative.
	We spoke with a member of the SPLC who said that your suit against him is ongoing.
	Correct.
	Can you confirm that?
	What is the current status of your suit against the SPLC?
	It's sitting on the judge's lap.
	Not sure why.
	Let's go.
	We say that you left the Proud Boys in 2018, and we quote you saying that this was intended to help alleviate the sentencing for two members who were charged after their Metropolitan Republican altercation.
	Yes, that's true.
	But we also spoke to a former member who alleged that you distanced yourself from the Proud Boys to help further your own career as a pundit.
	Can you comment on that?
	And these former Proud Boys, you never who the fuck it is.
	You never know who it is.
	Probably someone who was kicked out.
	I said, this is horseshit.
	I've been untouchable for years before quitting Proud Boys.
	When was I last on Fox News?
	Do you currently have any association with the Proud Boys?
	I said, I talked to them.
	I love them.
	I still consider them the greatest fraternal organization in the world.
	Do you have any comment on the Proud Boys' role in the January 6th insurrection?
	I go, I knew it was a trap.
	I begged Proud Boys not to go.
	Most listened.
	About 15 did not.
	They're on trial now.
	I go, it was a dumb thing to do, but I understand why people stormed the Capitol.
	The fact that you people can ignore 15 months of rioting, including storming of the Capitol, which they did under Kavanaugh, and many other government buildings, burning police stations to the ground in the Pacific Northwest,
	continues to astound me.
	We assert that the Prowboys are now splintering.
	Do you have any comment on that?
	I said, total bullshit.
	You guys get your info from booted Prowboys and Telegram, which no real Prow Boys use anymore.
	Anyway, that's why I didn't know that I was singing the Foo Fighters this morning.
	This afternoon.
	This evening.
	This evening.
	Holy shit, we haven't read any fucking sponsors.
	Poor show, McInnes.
	Not cool.
	Negade.
	This is not to be read online on the live read.
	Notes from the ad guy.
	I hope you guys are doing great.
	Do not read this aloud.
	I spoke to Uncle Tony about the studio to build it out.
	He's...
	He is...
	Oh, no.
	My Uncle Tony is a master.
	He's seen a majority of our family's construction projects.
	Do you want to do his accent?
	Oh, I lost the sneeze.
	Sure.
	So say it in our ad guys accent.
	My Uncle Tony is a master.
	All right, wait, I got it actually right here.
	Okay.
	Hey, I hope you guys are doing great.
	I spoke to your Tony about that.
	I sent my Uncle Tony out to the studio to build it out.
	My Uncle Tony is a master.
	I mean, he's got to seen the majority of our family's construction projects.
	But by the way, you guys are my favorite.
	I mean, like, dude, I worked with Opie between you and me.
	It was tough, man.
	I mean, you guys are fucking great.
	Let me send you a pizza.
	Yeah, he always wants to send us pizza.
	I like that idea.
	I don't want pizza.
	I've already eaten.
	It's nine o'clock.
	That's the thing.
	Yeah.
	Just three kids.
	Maybe on like a Tuesday night.
	And the pizza places around us.
	This is right down the street.
	Sliced places.
	Yeah, you get a dollar slice places.
	You never ordered from them.
	Right.
	I don't even know if they deliver.
	No.
	You just go pick up a pie.
	You go pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.
	You have a pa-pa-ba-pickupa pie.
	We were working on the studio Today, building it out.
	We were watching, we have a fire stick where we can watch anything in the world, and we were watching Caribbean news, Jamaican local news, which is my favorite thing to have on in the background.
	Lots of talk about diabetes.
	I lost a child, and I learned then I got to watch my diet and I got to mock my insulin, you know.
	Yeah.
	And then they had a doctor on there who talked about a lot of talk of pregnancy.
	Yeah.
	How to keep your baby alive.
	They're trying to teach them how to breed better.
	Stop getting wasted when you're pregnant seemed to be the theme of the show we watched.
	And then the other 99% of Jamaican TV is just our TV.
	Like after that segment on pregnancy and diabetes, they went straight to a Garfield movie.
	Yeah.
	Anyway.
	They just believe Garfield.
	While we were doing that, I was setting up our shelf from Tactical Walls where you slide over a statue and a shelf drops down where you could have a gun.
	Unfortunately, it's New York City.
	So we have a secret stash of Maker's Mark and beer for when you run out.
	And that was built by Tactical Walls.
	Can you go to TacticalWalls.com, please, sir?
	This episode of Get Up My Lawn is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
	Listen up, bitches.
	Biz Biziches.
	Biziches.
	Is that a thing?
	No, it is.
	You're about to get statitches.
	Statices, yeah.
	Statites?
	If you don't go to tacticalwalls.com, write meow.
	You may have guessed I did not write this.
	Tactical Walls offers a safe and easy way to hide your household protection devices and looks classy.
	It really does.
	I mean, you're going to see our new studio soon and you're going to say, I can't believe that's not butter.
	That's the actual shelf right there.
	But they've got these incredible walls for your gun racks, sports.
	They've got places to hide your guns.
	And if you hate guns, this is still a great site for your sports stuff, for basically anything you want to display and hang in a nice, neat fashion.
	Neat a fashion.
	In the Nita fashion, in fact.
	That's our next sponsor.
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	It looks classy.
	Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders at Tactical Walls with the promo code Gavin.
	So you go to tacticalwalls.com, you enter promo code Gavin, you get 20% off.
	That $405 thing, that's the shelf I'm actually talking about that he made us.
	20% off.
	What's that now?
	Like $360?
	Make this Father's Day one to remember with Tactical Walls.
	Keep your family safe.
	TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin.
	I like Tactical Walls more than a friend.
	Wait, I want to hear this.
	See, the thing has to be over the magnet in order for the double click to work.
	So if the kids go up and start clawing at it, they're not going to get shit.
	Or if thieves come by.
	Right.
	Anyway, wonderful sponsor.
	Made by Vets in America.
	Support American-owned business.
	Why am I going back to that computer?
	I think this fucking free one is going to be an hour.
	So whatever happened, speaking of that picture you just pulled up, Dante got a huge Proud Boy's neck tattoo.
	Right.
	I think that's him.
	Oh, that's it underneath?
	I think.
	I don't know if that's the side.
	No, I think that is the side.
	Yeah.
	His fucking jewelry.
	I mean, I kind of miss him in a weird way.
	Yeah, me too.
	He was a good dude.
	But like his giant bones who's here, I go, dude, you look like a slave trader.
	The pirates were like the top guy in the Congo who was like getting them on the boats and dealing with the Arabs.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, he looks like a barbarian that should just be wearing like a loincloth and have two swords that are bendy and pointy.
	But he looks like he gets his jewelry from like a junkyard.
	He looks like a slave trader who's like, look, man, this is the industry.
	I'm the strongest man in the Congo.
	But he's all, I don't know if it's steroids, he's all beaten up.
	Like he walks like someone just broke both his legs.
	Correct.
	And then when you see pictures of him when he was a pimp, when he was like 18, dude, he's like a little agile bunny.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Looks like a reminds me of my mother-in-law.
	He's got that American Indian sort of loginess.
	Anyway, the only time we ever like even kind of made fun of him at all or even said anything negative to him, it was me and Paul Bazile riffing about how he gets his jewelry from the junkyard.
	He's like, oh, can you turn that hubcap into an earring for me real quick?
	Well, that's no problem because it wasn't remotely funny or even accurate.
	It looks like he...
	So I don't think that offended him.
	He's got big metal things.
	And where do you get those?
	Oh, he has whatnot through his nose, you moron.
	Wait, that's the guy from...
	That's an actor.
	Yeah, Ryan.
	He's on the set.
	He does movie stuff.
	I've never seen him in a movie, but I gotta IMDB him.
	Speaking of black people, Shizmobin is back.
	It's Mobin Shiz now.
	I don't have that in the notes.
	You're the one who told me about it.
	Correct.
	But we've noticed this real clampdown on any site that shows blacks behaving badly.
	Which is unfortunate because that's one of the funnest things to look at, right?
	But Shizmobin was one of our favorite sites.
	It's back now with Mobbin' Shiz.
	You can look at that second video if you want to see what really goes on in the hood while people pretend they're being denied education.
	They're really being denied the right to skip out on your manicure bill.
	Over-tipping customer, no doubt.
	See, I think Asians make easy prey because they tend to be illegal.
	So they don't want to call the cops and have to file a report because what's your name?
	Let me see your ID.
	And if the cops do come here, what are you going to say to them?
	Isn't it amazing how we're so okay with illegals they can open up a shop?
	Right.
	You're not exactly on the lamb there.
	Also in the news, I was worried about Andy No, speaking of Asians, and I was right.
	He did get the living shit kicked out of him at that restaurant.
	I don't think I have a Link there.
	Gotcha.
	It's out there.
	But that guy we saw being attacked at the restaurant.
	By the way, rich guys who don't wear ties, this is annoying.
	I'm going to go put on a tie.
	Yeah, get a tie.
	And I'll go to the Andy No section of the world.
	Yeah, go to his Twitter.
	He has everything.
	How do I switch the thing to me?
	Dang it.
	Yeah.
	So this is his last one.
	Well, that's his latest one, but it doesn't reflect the incident.
	Here we go.
	These are all of his little injuries.
	The knee looks pretty bad.
	Oh, he's tweeted a lot of sense.
	But he's also like a weak homo.
	So like if you and I get knocked around with that, that's just me a bad day at the gym.
	But for him, it's a big deal.
	It's like a woman getting beaten up that bad.
	I'm sorry if that sounds homophobic or something, but Andy No is a great journalist, but he's also a very tepid and low-T dude.
	So when you see him getting beat, like if I got beat up like that, I don't think I'd even post it.
	Now I sound like I'm not on his side.
	I'm totally on his side.
	This is a chick who got beat up, who's constantly threatened with murder.
	And they kicked his ass.
	He was hospitalized at that hotel that he was at.
	The hotel did not help him at all, by the way.
	Go to the top of this.
	The first post?
	A little lower.
	Wait, wait.
	No, statement.
	Go to the statement.
	Click on that.
	Keep going down.
	Meets back on the menu.
	They dox him.
	Wait, wait, stop.
	Preserved by the Founding Best Reporter.
	I took care to mitigate the risk and went to observe Antifa firsthand as is his right.
	Keep going down.
	Yep, so they kick his ass.
	This is the part.
	That's the guy who was chasing him.
	What?
	Yeah.
	It's terrifying.
	Andy No is Batman.
	Whoa.
	He has Batman villains chasing him.
	At least Two Face has half of a face.
	Yeah, this is no face.
	No face.
	Andy, no face.
	Keep going down.
	Get him, get him.
	Pleading for a video.
	How about making a fucking video?
	In the chaos, I managed to seize a moment.
	So this is the part I got.
	So he goes to the Nines Hotel.
	I begged hotel staff to call 911, but they refused.
	What?
	And ordered me.
	And ordered me to wear a mask and leave the property.
	A pardoné moi?
	I insisted, reminding them of the violent mob outside seeking to kill me, and that's no exaggeration.
	By now, masked Antifa operatives were pounding on the hotel doors and windows, screaming and shouting my name.
	Like, what the fuck's going on?
	They refuse to call the cops.
	I think that Antifa runs Portland.
	And they don't want to be known as the Snitch Hotel or they'll get bricks through their window.
	They're the mafia.
	That's the pussy mafia.
	Like the mafia in New York would break your legs and your mother would end up in the East River.
	All Antifa does is just wreck shit and scream.
	And that's just as effective.
	Apparently the New York mob could have saved a lot of murder raps.
	Can you get back to me for a second so I can get this tie right?
	It's hard when I look at the monitor because everything is in reverse.
	That'll have to do.
	Trump is not well is trending.
	Trump is not well.
	Have you seen fucking Biden people?
	They're saying because apparently there's a rumor going around that he thinks that he's going to be reinstated in August.
	That gives me a boner thinking about, but, you know, he says some shit.
	He also has said some stuff that people have doubted for a long time.
	I'd be playing with this.
	Sorry, speaking of Proud Boys, they're all over the news because they got involved in Arizona and someone in Arizona wanted them to disrupt something and cause a scene.
	Not news.
	But the reason you're seeing that all over the news is Arizona's audit about voter fraud is about to blow up and make everyone look very bad.
	Everyone who doubted that there was voter fraud.
	Look at Fauci.
	That's turning around real hard.
	Fauci's canceled.
	That was in my notes.
	We are about to discover that everyone was right about Arizona and voter fraud.
	Anyway, next sponsor, info at nitafashions.com.
	This is one of the few things I've ever worn.
	It's J Press from not Harvard.
	What's the other one?
	Penn State?
	Harvard, Yale.
	Yale.
	I wear Yale clothes.
	They have their own clothing line.
	Oh, yeah.
	And it's a very high-quality line.
	Don't go to that, though.
	We're talking about Nita Fashions right now.
	But everything else you see me wear is Nita.
	Oh, the Ted Baker I also wear.
	But Nita Fashions is where I get my suits made, my shirts made.
	Incredible quality.
	They've actually been corresponding with me since we started this thing.
	Nice.
	And they said your customers, the customers you send us tend to be lawyers.
	He said, they all say you're gravely misunderstood.
	They said you were very popular in America, Canada, Britain, and Australia.
	I kind of knew that part.
	But yes, you go there, you contact them, info, Adina Fashions.
	You can also go to their Instagram and DM them there if that's more convenient for you.
	But they'll set up your measurements.
	They'll get your template.
	And they give you room to grow, by the way.
	It's not like that's permanent.
	And once they have your thing, they can send you swatches and you can start getting suits and shirts that fit you.
	No one wears anything that fits them.
	I'm so sick of people with their top button undone wearing ties.
	You look like a fucking amateur when you have your top button undone.
	And in July in New York City, wearing a suit can be torture.
	It's not torture with Nita Fashions.
	They're from Hong Kong.
	They know humidity.
	You can get a linen suit.
	You get a thin white shirt.
	You're totally comfortable.
	Not just at work, but at the summer wedding.
	I discovered them back in my Fox days, which would have been what, like 2010?
	And I've been a devout follower ever since.
	So go to NitaFashions.com.
	Use promo code Gavin.
	I believe they're giving 50%, 15, sorry, 1-5% off right now.
	Info at nitafashions.com.
	Or what's their Instagram?
	It's on their site under support, but this is really cool too.
	You go to Guide and it teaches you how to do all that stuff.
	If you follow them on Instagram under contact.
	Also sales at NitaFashions.com.
	Nita.fashions.
	Anita.fashions is their Instagram.
	This is really cool.
	They tell you how to make an account with a video tutorial.
	Everybody loves videos.
	You don't got to read shit.
	Yeah, the guy, it's run by the guy's son now, and he's just passionate about it.
	That rules.
	Like if you were to email him with a problem, like he's shitting his pants.
	Okay, wait, how did this happen?
	Okay, well, we'll get that.
	Not that I've ever...
	The only problem I ever emailed him with was I got fat and my pants don't fit.
	And he's like, send them over.
	I put an inch and a half in every one of them.
	And now they're back to pajamas.
	So NitaFashionist.com, fantastic client.
	I can't believe we've gone this long without even starting the show.
	Damn.
	Damn.
	Hey, my son's having a birthday party soon.
	Maybe you can help me with this.
	I want to get a Met to show up.
	An actual Met.
	Okay.
	Now, I'm not going to get Jacob DeGrom or any functioning Met today.
	Even a guy who's like 75 who retired.
	If anyone out there knows of a Met in the New York area, please email me and let me know.
	I'll pay Mucho De Niro.
	What team was Lenny Dykstra on?
	He was on the Mets.
	Okay, we might be able to get him.
	How do you know?
	He was working with Compound and doing some stuff.
	I mean, it's kind of a loose cannon is the only thing.
	The thing is, I don't know how, like, yeah, I love Lenny Dykstra, but I don't know how little kids feel about those Mets.
	Right, right.
	Like, he said to me, can I read Lenny's book?
	And I was like, ah, soon?
	Who's the guy that was doing compound shit for a little bit and it didn't work?
	Are you sure you're not talking about the pitcher who was at CRTV?
	No, no, no.
	Kurt Schilling?
	No, no, no, Kurt Schilling.
	You know, you can't get paid.
	No, it was Lenny the extra.
	The right amount of circuit money unless you're an everyday player.
	Yeah, and that was a shit show.
	Remember that big controversy with him where he was yelling racial epithets at someone, according to not Keith, but the other guy, the Hawaiian dude, who's Keith Gary Ron.
	Ron Darling.
	Who I only knew, I'm new to the Mets like the past four years, so I know Ron Darling as the old guy.
	I looked him up as a young player.
	Melt in your mouth.
	Gorgeous.
	Gorgeous, my boy.
	Gorgeous.
	If you want to see a fucking smoke show and have a boner that shatters diamonds, check out a young Ron Darling.
	Oh, don't show it or I'm going to come.
	I just came.
	Too bad.
	Why did you do that, Ryan?
	Now I have to change my pants.
	Get a new pair of pants from Nitaf?
	Can I go swimming in those?
	Can I just get a pillow and go for a long nap in between those things?
	He kind of looks like a male Wendy from Wonder Years.
	Oh, my God.
	He's delicious.
	Can someone put him on a crumpet, please?
	He's three tops of brown, and they're all right.
	Can I get an English muffin toasted, avocado, tomato, salted, mayonnaise, and a young Ron, the epitome of Ron Darling?
	Oh, shit.
	Dude, he looks like...
	What a darling.
	Who's that chick that you love so much that was in the 80s movies?
	No.
	That's like the super hottestest chick ever.
	From Fast Times of Rich, Ron High, fucking Phoebe Cates.
	Dude, he's got a Phoebe.
	Phoebe Cates of the dude world.
	Oh my God.
	If those two fucked and had a baby, I would have to fuck it.
	Now, hold on a second.
	Isn't it weird?
	As it came out, I'd be like, oh, as it came out.
	Before it got in, would it be?
	Before it came out.
	Be like, oh, it's a...
	I don't care what it is.
	It's mine now.
	That's her older, too.
	She's pretty good.
	I mean, she's like ancient now.
	I think she's 60.
	Oh, that's actually Ron Darling older.
	I'm sorry.
	Wow.
	So I wonder if women find him just as attractive or he's too feminine.
	Dude, he slayed so much pussy, his dick looked like Freddy's face.
	Is that because he's a Met?
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, that helped being a super billionaire athlete.
	Dude, that sure didn't hurt in the hottest team of the 80s.
	I'm sure that wasn't a hindrance.
	If you hit up Nita Fashions, you can get that Hounds to the Suit remade.
	You can.
	That's the other funny thing about Nita Fashions.
	Just like see something cool and say, make me that.
	And they have to by law.
	In Hong Kong, it's the law.
	It's under China's rule now.
	You make that weird little pop.
	Anytime Nita Fashions does anything wrong, you just call China and you go, have them removed.
	And they go to a re-education camp.
	You rat them out.
	Oh, no, you bat them out.
	Sorry.
	They go to a re-education camp for like 10 weeks.
	Holy shit.
	Yeah, just say they said Mao sucks.
	That guy is a...
	Just kidding.
	Don't do that.
	I don't even know if that's illegal over there.
	He's in the Drillers.
	He sure was.
	Please, I'll lie on my stomach and you go to town, Drillers.
	That's fucking gay, Gavin.
	The Zoomers in DC.
	Oh, yeah.
	Made a little gay jug.
	You're fucking gay, dude.
	After America First Thing, they were leaving the bar and I was pissing or something.
	And they're like, I said, hey, guys.
	They go, what?
	Hey, I guess.
	And then I said, I want to fuck you with my heels on.
	And they don't know the show.
	So they're just like, fuck you.
	Fucking gay, dude.
	That's fucking gay.
	They're all uncomfortable.
	Like, I didn't know that.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Wait, what?
	Please be kidding, because I've been saying that all night.
	That's funny.
	They're so insecure and young.
	I remember that, though.
	I remember being 12 and seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show and going, this movie rules.
	And then there's the gay scene and going, what the fuck?
	Why is that in there?
	I remember hiding songs on my burn CDs like It's Raining Men.
	I thought that was a fun song.
	They said I put it at the end of the CD or anything gay, like 99 Luff Balloons.
	Anything with a girl singing it.
	You're not ashamed of something if you put it on a mixed CD that you play to people.
	No, you don't play it to people.
	You put it in the car, and then when it gets to track 13, you're like, all right, you want to give back?
	We'll put something else.
	Why would you put it on the CD if you're ashamed of it?
	You fucking.
	You're just trying to crow by yourself into this conversation.
	No, you think it's gay to listen to girl songs.
	So you put it on a mixed CD that you play in the car with people?
	Or you make it for yourself.
	You're fucking now.
	And then you put it in the car.
	You fucking fuck you, Gavin.
	Johnny Apple CBD, our oldest sponsor, jacbd.com, promo code Gavin.
	We did get the edibles last week.
	No, Monday, sleeping like a babe.
	I'm not hallucinating like a babe.
	There's no THC in this stuff.
	It's just all the goodness of that magical plant without any of the illegal stuff in it.
	Johnnyapple.com.
	You know what a girl told me she uses Johnny Apple CBD for?
	She puts the CBD cream on her feet, if it's going to be a big night out partying, like a wedding or something, to wear high-heel shoes.
	And apparently that's the thing with chicks.
	They put CBD on their feet when it's heels night.
	And they walk around like they're wearing tennis sneakers all night.
	Gummies, the tinctures, the cartridges, the topicals, the cookies.
	20% off all orders.
	They use the promo code Gavin.
	Feel great and support the people who support us.
	jacbd.com johnnyapple.com they both work promo code gavin 20 off all orders what the fuck is this they got some new stuff called velvet cloud every time we do this ad there's new shit dude they got vapes they got chillo you've got vapes you can pick your nicotine level smoke your vape what are you smoking is there tobacco in there it's regular tobacco flavor it's nicotine 12 milligrams a man's amount is there no flavor there's tobacco flavor no fruity shit for me yeah i like how
	time exist yeah uh all right so we're gonna go behind the paywall now and then we're gonna take some calls shortly after that uh we'd like to thank you freeloaders for tuning in we want you to know that if you were to subscribe to censored.tv it costs a beer and a half a month about 30 40 cents a day and there is way more than you can handle every day we just got josh
	could have put beer in the studio fridge but we're gonna have like a keg so i don't see how i'm not gonna get shit faced self-control every episode moderation well atheists say i am moral not because of god or christianity but because i have self-control so i guess i'll have to be sort of become an booze atheist in that sense you don't believe in the lord above yeah right have to know.
	Although he does have some built-in punishments when you go bananas.
	It's not just wetting the bed and having your wife hate you.
	You turn the other bladder.
	Empty it out.
	Sparring hungover is one for the books.
	That's one of my least favorite things to do in the world.
	It's one thing to feel like shit.
	It's another thing to be punched in the head when you feel like shit.
	I'm disabled.
	Here's a story that is kind of old news in the young people scene, but us oldsters have never heard of this.
	Tom Myers is a comedian who sucks.
	And it's been making the rounds with the youngsters for a couple months now.
	I'm obviously late to the game, but the beauty of hiring losers like Ryan is they tell you what the kids are into.
	And making fun of this guy has been very hot recently.
	Yeah.
	And not too recently.
	How are you guys doing tonight?
	Everybody having a good time so far?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, I'm in kind of a weird mood myself.
	I was on my way down here.
	I stopped at a convenience store.
	I'm waiting in line to pay, and the guy in front of me puts down a dozen donuts, two big bags of Doritos, one of those cheapo one-gallon bottles of the generic brand fruit punch, and a nasty old rotting banana.
	And he turns to the clerk and says to him, my girlfriend just had an operation.
	She can only eat certain things.
	I look at him.
	I look at him and I go, yeah, right.
	What did you have a bong hit transplant?
	I think that show was kind of a dinner for schmucks thing, where they invited the worst comedians they could find, and they wanted it to go bad.
	And he did a great job of sucking.
	But I think the problem with any kind of making fun of people is you've got to always wonder, is this person mentally handicapped?
	Like Windy City Heat, Scary Perry.
	Oh, I have an update on Windy City Heat.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Now, he's not retarded.
	Scary Perry.
	He's just an asshole.
	But I was talking to a guy who is involved in the Perry project because he knows Mets people, and I've been trying to find out if I can get someone to pay.
	For the past year, they completely shut down the Mets organization fan outreach program.
	So it's not looking good for you.
	I can ask, but I have a feeling that would be a no-go giving today's climate.
	Oh, yeah, because of my name, but I won't say my name.
	He won't even know that he's at my house.
	Actually, I'm out in California right now.
	Perry is doing an adult swim shoot.
	This might be a secret.
	Uh-oh.
	Oh.
	Actually, he got a really good gig for the past six months.
	They've been doing well streaming on Twitch.
	They did a nine and a half hour stream last night from his apartment.
	It was a fucking hellhole.
	A nine and a half hour Twitch stream at Scary Perry's house.
	Wow.
	It's amazing that these guys have been working together for so long.
	Like since I started Vice in the early 90s.
	And they all hate his guts.
	You got it there?
	Oh my lord.
	Right there.
	$75 to microwave the bread for 10 minutes and then take a big bite.
	This is 22 days ago?
	10 minutes, and we'll monitor it.
	If it starts smoking or anything, you can stop it prematurely.
	He's going to fucking set the thing on fire.
	Fart zone sign.
	He's got to go piss again.
	I've been in that apartment.
	I pissed all over his towels.
	My God.
	Yeah.
	Perry, I'm sorry.
	I haven't sent you the 30 tins of popcorn you asked for yet, but I have become poor by spending too much money.
	He doesn't even care that Bret is toasting Wayne's microwave.
	I'd be monitoring that like a hawk.
	You motherfucker!
	Stop sending me fucking popcorn!
	See, this is...
	I haven't checked in on them for a while.
	I guess they send him lots of popcorn.
	Go fuck yourself and go to hell now, you fucking pathetic dumbfuck.
	Fuck off now, you dip shit motherfucker.
	I am not afraid of you.
	Oh my god.
	Oh my god.
	Oh my god.
	Oh my god.
	Wow.
	You better start pissing on that dude.
	You fool.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	Get that out of there.
	Jesus Christ.
	Let's get the towel.
	Jesus.
	Get that out of there.
	There we go.
	Get it out the door.
	Out the door.
	Out the door right now.
	Turn it back on.
	Make sure you turn the microwave back on so it can microwave the fire.
	Doesn't he have an alarm in his apartment?
	Microwave.
	Oh my God.
	Oh, what a fucking idiot.
	Fire alarm came on.
	Who knew?
	Who knew?
	Water somewhere.
	I need a bonus kit to repose.
	I wonder where exactly in the world is that smoke and fire happening right now.
	7722 Resita Boulevard in Los Angeles, California.
	Oh, part of the 3B.
	Interesting.
	That's where it's happening.
	And he blew somebody to get this show or something?
	No.
	When he was an extra, he let Randy Callahan blow him to get on a show.
	That was probably 20 years ago, too.
	Get the fan on.
	Open the window in the kitchen.
	Imagine the police.
	What did you think was going to happen to Bread?
	It would just get very warm?
	Oh, this is making me...
	This is sucking me back into the movie.
	Wait, go back, go back, go back.
	Okay, fine.
	Because he gets so angry.
	Like, he's humorless.
	For a popular stand-up comedian.
	Can you reset your alarm so you can turn that beeping off?
	You know how to do that?
	It's not going to go off!
	No, it shouldn't.
	If I was a smoke alarm, I wouldn't go off.
	No, my job is to let you know.
	My job is to freak out.
	Everything's working perfectly.
	Just check it.
	Isn't the super gonna call?
	Fine, it's on the fucking.
	Not so loud.
	I want to handle this so bad and get us some box fans to drive the smoke out and get his AC on somehow.
	A fucking towel or something?
	Open the front door?
	I know where the front door is.
	It's right over there.
	That's his whole apartment, by the way.
	Yeah, that couch on the other side of the couch is there the door.
	That's where they watch.
	No, I saw the movie.
	That's where they watched the movie on the couch there.
	Pretty small.
	Shut up!
	Perry!
	I'm not going to stop until the fucking smoke is gone!
	He's not acting.
	That's real.
	Is the window in the kitchen definitely open?
	The window is open!
	You son of a bitches!
	Perry, I just passed along an offer.
	And when I saw the smoke, I told you to take care of it, and you did.
	We won't do any more microwave stuff for a while.
	For a while?
	Never again!
	Anyway, so Tom Myers, who just did the joke, a bong hit transplant.
	Yeah.
	And you're like, I understand a bong transplant, or did you, they transplant your lungs with a bong, but a bong hit...
	You got a bunch of smoke in your mouth.
	How do you transplant that?
	Well, he's tried pot.
	So anyway, this is making the rounds, or made the rounds, and I'm way late to the game.
	The Puerto Rican rattlesnake Louis Gomez, Gomez and Tim Dylan, had him on the show, extending the dinner for schmucks, and they asked him to explain what a bong transplant is.
	Bong hit transplant.
	It's going to sound really horrible.
	I know something horrible coming out of me.
	Imagine that, right?
	No way.
	No way.
	I don't believe it.
	So the joke is I'm in a convenience store waiting in line.
	Someone puts.
	Pretend you're at a club right now.
	We're an audience.
	You got a microphone in front of you.
	Don't just say the joke is, you know, literally.
	We look like people that go to a comedy.
	Yeah, we are.
	It's Sean Boland's fucking.
	We're sitting there.
	Second row, if there are rose.
	Zach literally looks like the person who was in the second row on that Sean Boland show.
	So he is helping me.
	Focus on him and deliver it.
	So I go into a convenience store and the guy puts on the counter, I think, a dozen donuts, a one-gallon jug of the Cheapo brand fruit punch.
	Can I say something?
	Nasty.
	You know what this is like?
	This is like if Keith...
	This is the...
	For the Rolling Stones, like, he starts playing satisfaction on an acoustic guitar.
	It's not quite the song, but he's gearing.
	You're like, dude, this is as good as the Rolling Stones number one hit.
	Absolutely.
	One gallon jug of the Cheapo brand fruit punch.
	Nasty row.
	I feel like you can.
	Let him do it.
	But if you get more specific, it'd be funny.
	If you said Faygo, it would be a funny way to tell the joke.
	R.C. Cola would have been funny.
	No, if they're not paying me to say it, I'm not saying it.
	I'll give you all the money a Shannon's ticket.
	$2.
	$2.
	Deal.
	Good.
	Go say it.
	That's funny.
	You know who this guy is?
	I said this earlier.
	It's Pat Dixon after a horrible car accident where he was in a coma.
	Remember that girl who got shot?
	She was a Gifford, Elizabeth Giffords, Cliffords, Giffords.
	And now she's an anti-gun activist.
	And her husband's a bald politician.
	And they go, well, she's dead.
	She got shot in the head.
	But she comes back and you're sort of like, uh.
	Gabby Giffords.
	You didn't really make it, Gabby.
	I mean, you made it, but you didn't really make it.
	And she does talks and stuff, and she's like, guns are bad.
	Yeah, well, doctors are better, but not perfect.
	Doctors and guns are imperfect, I think is what we've learned from your horrific tragedy.
	I don't want to demean it.
	No, this is Gabby Giffords, yeah.
	Ooh, fuck your talk.
	About two fingers.
	No, not that.
	Oh, my.
	I don't know who you are.
	Late Giffords.
	Music, it turns out.
	Late Giffords, early chains.
	And when you meet them, you just feel like, you know, it's kind of an obligation to try to do something about it.
	Not that.
	He's in there with the neurosurgeon.
	Did you worry about him?
	Hello?
	You worried about me, my last trip into space?
	Yeah.
	It's risky business.
	It's not quite as risky as being a Congress woman.
	Yeah.
	As it turns out.
	Pretty.
	As it turns out.
	Oh, well.
	Thanks for coming, everybody.
	I appreciate that.
	Can you talk?
	A little bit.
	So slowly.
	Slow pace.
	Slow pace.
	But is it just that it's slow?
	It doesn't even seem like it's making any...
	You know what that guy is?
	A little bit.
	A little jolly vlog.
	Stopping gun violence takes courage.
	She and Mark were back on Capitol Hill earlier this month trying again.
	Check out Tom Myers again.
	The bird that is the bald eagle.
	Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	He doesn't even say bald eagle right.
	He goes, bald eagle?
	How do you say bald eagle?
	It's bald eagle.
	It goes down.
	Bald eagle.
	Bald eagle.
	Bald eagle.
	Take the bird, which is the bald eagle.
	I love, like, look at his lawyer's face.
	It's the best.
	Just say bald eagle.
	Oh, fuck.
	It's amazing.
	I can't believe we did that 40 times.
	It's one of the best reactions.
	He's mad at himself, by the way.
	I should have done 45 times.
	I let him make me make him let him.
	I rushed it.
	We should have done it 45 times.
	But Tom Myers is make fun of him because he's a man in command.
	He knows He lives on the dangerous side.
	His job is just like a firefighter when they rush into a fire or a cop when they're responding to the scene of the crime.
	Most jokes, I got tired of telling it, and then make its way onto one of the albums.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	Is it on Make America In 8 Again?
	Words of Master.
	It may be on pitchforks, but I don't.
	Gotcha.
	I don't know.
	They know all his albums.
	Now, explain to me the thinking behind a joke because you see all this.
	So it's like, it's all this unhealthy food.
	And then you're like, you know, this guy basically saying she can only eat certain foods after an operation.
	Now, I'm all with you on the premise.
	Right.
	And then you go, what did she have?
	A bong hit.
	It's the punchline.
	You're right.
	You're right.
	It's not the premise.
	The punchline is the issue.
	That's the only issue with the joke.
	Everything else is actually really cool.
	The premise is kind of funny.
	I love the premise.
	The premise is not bad.
	The punchline.
	You could have said a cheapo type of soda.
	Well, let's just spit bullet here.
	You go like, oh, this guy puts all this disgusting food.
	He's got fucking M ⁇ Ms and Cheetos.
	See, that's where I would go.
	What does a dirty banana have to do with that?
	Anything involving food.
	Zach is in on it.
	Yes, of course.
	Oh, shit.
	This guy puts in your fucking fat face.
	He's capable.
	But what does a dirty banana have to do with high people?
	Because high people just eat anything.
	Okay, well, that's not true.
	You're so translate.
	It's just crazy.
	Okay, well, that's not true.
	Why don't you get transparent?
	It's my Tim Dylan.
	Is that it doesn't make sense?
	It doesn't make sense.
	That's not true.
	What you don't want people doing is when you tell a punchline, you don't want people to not laugh and think about why they're not laughing.
	Right, and that's what I think this punchline does.
	It makes people want to leave the club.
	Yeah, they go, no, that's not right.
	It's an album.
	Does he realize he's being made fun of?
	I was just thinking.
	Like, how much does he get that he's being ridiculed?
	I see a man who really feels like it's just a comic hanging out with comics.
	I'm in right now.
	I'm a comic.
	I know they're making fun of me, but that's sort of like scary Perry.
	Like, he'll be like, yeah, they break my balls.
	No, they smash your balls with a fucking nuclear bomb until there's nothing left.
	He thinks it's just ribbing?
	Like, yeah, this is what comics do.
	We bust each other's balls.
	They take an RPG and they break my balls.
	Well, why don't you have any lower half?
	They decimate my balls.
	Where are your legs?
	You know who really started this?
	So he's from Baltimore, the Cometown guys, Nick Mullen and Stavros.
	Oh, right.
	Mr. Asperger.
	But he won't talk to them anymore because he's realized that they explicitly make fun of him.
	So the only way to kind of make fun of him to his face is through Luis J. Gomez.
	And this acting is really good.
	You know, they're acting like they're helping him.
	They almost crack up, I think, coming up, though.
	Really?
	People want to leave the club.
	Yeah, they go, no, that's not right.
	Something's wrong.
	They go, something is wrong here, and I should leave.
	It's an uncomfortable.
	It's an uncomfortable feeling.
	It's not the move.
	So it wasn't...
	What could have been a better punchline instead of bonghead transplant?
	So it's got, let's say it's a transplant, right?
	Some kind of operation, yeah.
	Some kind of operation.
	What did she get her lungs replaced with the bong?
	That could have worked.
	Okay, well, that.
	What did she have her lungs replaced with bong?
	So that's good.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Yeah.
	I'm spitballing, man.
	I would have been like, listen, it's like, what the fuck?
	You know, I haven't done the bit in 10 years, so clearly I stopped liking it.
	We could bring it back.
	What kind of operation did this bitch have?
	It could have gone hard.
	Yeah.
	You know, like, oh, she fucking get raped, I bet.
	I would have liked it.
	That could be on your next special.
	I give you permission to use it.
	I'm tired of comedy.
	I'm just trying to get a job at a chili.
	My girlfriend just had an operation.
	She could only, she could go to the bathroom.
	Fill out an application.
	Fill out an application.
	I'll interview you.
	I'll try.
	I think he's trying to rescue it at that point.
	He's like, okay, this is getting, they're making fun of me.
	Can I do some jokes?
	Right.
	What did she have her lower intestine replaced with a Mexican?
	But then you'd have to have Mexican foods.
	That makes it less...
	It doesn't make sense, but it's funnier.
	It's funnier.
	It's funnier.
	It's funnier.
	A couple funny words in there.
	You have a lower intestine replaced with a Mexican?
	Remember, like Patrice said how, like, Buick is a funnier word than Oldsmobile.
	Yeah.
	Mexican's a funnier word than bonghe transplant.
	Right.
	Or like, for any other word.
	Yeah.
	What did she have with lower test?
	Yeah, I think Lewis almost cracked there when he said for any other word.
	What did she have, Brian?
	Lower test to replace with a malnourished child?
	I don't know.
	Like, what a...
	She just had a transplant.
	What kind of transplant?
	You know what my go-to punchline is?
	What did she have?
	What did she have?
	Right, replaced with family court?
	These are all dumb punches.
	No, my gosh.
	You know what?
	It's just a stock punchline you could just use.
	Yeah, oh, yeah.
	Female circumcision.
	Just throw it in there.
	Female circumcision.
	Let me tell you right now.
	Female circumcision.
	Okay, this gets less funny.
	But Tom Myers is an endless rabbit hole.
	Let's just end the rabbit hole then with one more Tom Myers video wherein he is on local news.
	Oh, that's brutal.
	Our next guest is a tell-it-like it is comedian who says no one is safe when it comes to black women.
	Especially black women.
	Dude, this is like sexist and racist jokes about black women are shocking.
	Wait till you hear what he says about my hair.
	Celebrities, politicians, people that he just passes by, they are all fair game.
	Born and raised right here in Maryland, Tom Myers' career has taken him all over the nation, and now he has a new CD of comedy.
	We shot car guys in Maryland.
	Did you realize that?
	That is true.
	Yeah.
	Look at his right hand.
	Welcome.
	Thanks for having me on, Elsa.
	Glad to have you here.
	I know you are Maryland born and raised.
	Yep, absolutely.
	So tell us a little bit about yourself.
	You said you started with comedy as almost a defense mechanism.
	Yeah, it was in high school.
	I started telling jokes to upper classes.
	What channel is it on?
	That deflects.
	The two.
	Yeah.
	Right.
	It's usually a good indicator.
	And you say that some of your jokes, though, have gotten you into a little bit of trouble.
	Oh, you saw the face after the two.
	Thanks, David.
	It's usually a good indicator.
	And you say that some of your jokes, though, have gotten you into a little bit of trouble.
	Right.
	So why keep telling them?
	Because it's my job.
	You know, it's no different than a police officer running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building.
	It's what I do.
	You know, Mort Saul was blacklisted by Hollywood because he kept bringing the, he kept talking about the Warren Commission report on stage.
	Lenny Bruce kept having obscenity trial after obscenity trial.
	No, that needs to be explained.
	Like he's saying that people know what the fuck that means.
	Well, you don't know what that means?
	I do because I'm a fan of comedy, but people that don't know comedy, which is who this segment's for, don't know what obscenity trial is.
	Yes, they do.
	Lenny Bruce was the most famous obscene person in history.
	On stage, Lenny Bruce kept having obscenity trial after obscenity trial.
	George Carlin's, one of his bits was taken to the United States Supreme Court.
	Wow.
	So, you know, I'm not really doing anything, not doing anything different.
	You know, I'm not running for office or speaking to a church group.
	I'm telling jokes to people who, you know, exceeded the two-drink minimum like 30 minutes before I got on stage.
	I mean, it's...
	They know what they signed up for, right?
	Yep, that's what they get.
	So what are people signing up for if they get your newest CD, Make America Innate Again?
	They're pretty much getting, like you said, I cover all topics.
	If you're fans of, for example, if you're a fan of Donald Trump, I'll say some stuff on here that I'll joke about him.
	Likewise, I joke about stuff about the Democrats.
	I talk about current events, even my life on here.
	Even my cat's nuts.
	100% of all comedians ever?
	No.
	Oh, my goodness.
	That'll teach him to scratch my furniture.
	So everyone is their game.
	Actually, the original title of that CD was supposed to be Sit Down and Shut Up You Morons.
	Yeah.
	Look how uncomfortable.
	Yeah, that's actually events in Two Morons.
	It's supposed to be Sit Down and Shut Up You Morons.
	Yeah.
	But people thought that was a little aggressive.
	Yeah.
	Telling someone to sit down is a bit too strong.
	I almost clutched my proverbial curls just a second ago.
	I was like, my goodness.
	Well, we can't wait to listen to it.
	I can't hear you.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	My website, TomMyers.us.
	They started dating after this.
	That would be cute.
	That would be cute.
	And you can obsessively keep track of that stuff.
	Perfect.
	I'll probably respond to you.
	Okay.
	Maybe in an unexpected way.
	Well, then I will add you right away.
	Thank you so much, Tom Myers.
	We appreciate it.
	And we'll be right back with more Midday Maryland right after the first.
	Stay tuned.
	You said on the show you were going to add me.
	It's been two weeks.
	I DM'd you twice.
	Hello?
	I should DM Tom Myers.
	You fucking add me, bitch.
	I mean, there's a world.
	I mean, he's, you know what?
	It's kind of like a thing where they now have accepted him into the comedy world, so that's good.
	There's a happy end.
	Well, that's his shtick.
	He's just terrible.
	Oh, he's roasting a person.
	He's doing him?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's an endless rabbit hole.
	Okay.
	It's endless.
	Last rabbit hole before we start taking calls is this chick.
	I mean, we have Trump was right about COVID.
	Fauci is canceled.
	Biden's staying dumb shit.
	The usual racism crap.
	But I want to take some calls.
	But this I thought was interesting because the woman is attractive.
	Some Mexican Portuguese chick who looks chinky.
	But she's really in for.
	She went from criticizing rich boomers to becoming a rich boomer.
	Influencer from OK Boomer TikTok criticized after showing off her $2 million apartment.
	She's not half Asian.
	She's Mexican and Portuguese with chinky eye makeup.
	But that's a good idea.
	See, I'm not happy that men are attracted to girls who act like tiny girls.
	We kind of had this in the 70s with Chrissy from Three's Company.
	But that girl is not acting like a 13-year-old.
	She's acting like an 8-year-old, 7-year-old.
	Yeah, the voice is like a 7-year-old.
	I don't like that.
	That's a child.
	Yeah, and all this anime shit.
	Yeah, I don't get it.
	They're attracted to children.
	And why are they doing it?
	Because the world is because they get how many views does that have?
	So there's a difference.
	50 million views.
	There's a 50 million view demand for adult women.
	She's probably 20 years old acting like an eight-year-old.
	Okay, boomer.
	I'm a kitty-witty little doopy-dapper.
	Right.
	Yikes.
	I know I just said she was attractive, but that's an early shot of her.
	Let's see her in her $2 million apartment.
	It's my apartment.
	I told you guys about a month or two ago that I moved into a bigger apartment, and I was going to give you guys a house.
	Sorry, a big apartment.
	And I think our apartment's finally, like, mostly fully furnished.
	So, let's get started.
	I think we can start off with the kitchen.
	I think I love the kitchen the second most, aside from my office.
	I have a big old island, which I've never had an island before, so this is really awesome.
	We have the chairs, so I don't have to actually buy a table to eat on.
	So we have this.
	Is this prostitution?
	Which I think that's pretty fansy, a wine fridge.
	Like, she doesn't do OnlyFans, but clearly, 100% of the people who watch her are young incel simps who just jerk off while she shows her island.
	Yeah.
	It's a sugar daddy.
	Like, no one's watching this going, oh, that's a cool island.
	Congratulations.
	I love your new $2 million apartment, you Bernie socialist.
	It's fancy, so.
	We have our Nespresso over here.
	I actually don't drink coffee, but like, this is nice.
	You know, you've got the famous oven that I burn everything on.
	We got this neat fridge that holds food.
	This is like Martha Stewart vibe.
	Like, I think only people that are like Martha Stewarts will find this very pleasing.
	How does this person have a career?
	It's just her tits, right?
	The whole kitchen is in her iPad.
	No, it's not.
	But it would be cool if it was.
	So.
	But then you go, like, she's not showing her clit or her tits or anything, right?
	Right.
	So, like, how is this different from Raquel Welch when I was young or Farrah Fawcett or Daisy Duke?
	I believe the entertainment part seems to be missing.
	Like, how is this?
	Is this...
	It's hard to objectively?
	I object to this, but it's hard to be objective to my objection.
	Right.
	Like, how is this different from Daisy Duke and Duke's a Hazzard in her little short shorts?
	Well, she did definitely, Daisy Duke was probably like 32.
	All the women that I was taught to love when I was a young man were it.
	We did a segment on this.
	They're all 30 years old.
	Olivia Newton John at the end of Grease, the divinals when I touch myself.
	They could also hug.
	And if you come over here, this is my work in progress, by the way.
	This is my Adventure Time-themed bathroom.
	So as you guys can see here...
	We have Adventure Time towels, hand towels.
	Okay.
	Finn, BMO.
	I zoned out.
	Yeah, we're making this show boring.
	Okay, look at the last thing, though.
	This is what she normally does, what she's known for.
	And it just seems powerfully sad.
	I just smell male loneliness when I look at her.
	It makes me sad.
	I don't know if my sponsors would like that, you know.
	I'm just like, I just want to cuss you out.
	Listen, chat.
	I'm not to like, I'm not, listen, I'm not threatening anybody, okay?
	I'm not threatening anybody.
	But like, do you really think that people should be offending or trying to say anything mean to me?
	I, I chew my ice cream.
	Like, I bite into my ice cream.
	I bite into it.
	Do you really want to mess with someone that bites into their ice cream?
	Like, you really want to talk shit on someone that bites into their ice cream?
	I don't think so.
	So when does she do the thing?
	I don't think so.
	This guy's jerking off.
	Is this the thing?
	This is it.
	Oh, no.
	This is it.
	Like.
	I'll pay you $75 to microwave bread for 10 minutes and then bite into it.
	This is sub-Sugar Daddy.
	With Sugar Daddy, you go to dinner and then she pretends to think that you're interesting.
	You definitely.
	Yeah, like we had Farah Fawcett posters in our room when we were kids, but we didn't stare at it and say, I love you.
	I want to listen to you.
	Right.
	I would never listen to Farrah Fawcett.
	I'm going to suck my ice cream, someone wrote.
	Like, guys are typing that and then jerking off.
	I bet.
	It reminds me of this meme I saw where this girl, she got $10,000 from an OnlyFans fan, and she goes, I just got $10,000 for my biggest fan.
	I'm so excited.
	And then later you see she's posting, me and my boyfriend are traveling the world together, which is hard to do on $10,000.
	But it helps.
	And I'm sure you just need a few more OnlyFans.
	So her boyfriend's fucking her all over Paris.
	And you're like, I love you.
	I don't know, man.
	Sick.
	No, it's really sick.
	It's a depraved culture.
	And when they send the money, they're like, she remembers me, because that one time I sent her the money.
	Did you find what I was talking about?
	I was like, let's see.
	No, I found something that's actually kind of cool.
	Fugitive QAnon fans run up at the $10,000 dinner tab and bails.
	Wait, dinner tab?
	That's got nothing to do with what we're talking about, dude.
	As per usual.
	Um, let's go to the mailbag before we take calls quickly.
	Oh.
	What's going on?
	Her Twitch was still going.
	Couldn't help.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Dear Gavin, nobody watch Milo's show and nobody else in the network can carry a show.
	Sometimes I can watch the kangaroo, but I really only watch your show.
	Everyone else is too fucking stiff.
	Okay, that's one person's opinion.
	Watching you live talk about Perry.
	Check in on Perry's free Twitch if you have four to eight hours.
	I've been a longtime fan of Perry.
	I was just, my phone reminded me of, you know, photo moments.
	And there was Johnny Knoxville, dressed as Scary Perry.
	From, I don't know when, I don't know where.
	We were working on this thing where Johnny Knoxville was going to get his job as Scary Perry in the new movie.
	And then for revenge, Perry was going to become the new Johnny Knoxville and do Jackass.
	This was around Jackass 3 hadn't been made yet.
	And they were obviously going to have Perry do insane shit.
	Like go to a gay bar and get fucked up the ass.
	Like they were really...
	This is back before PC was winning.
	Thank you for giving me your hat all those years ago.
	I wear it all.
	Oh, this is 2016.
	Wrong, I never gave you shit because you're a punk.
	You stole my hat.
	So you're a thief.
	You just want to steal from me?
	So this is 2016, but he's talking about long, long ago.
	Anyway, it's gotten a little regular lately where Perry gets paid for stunts and to be mocked.
	But if you watch the YouTube, Tom B tries to cut things down.
	The first few I laughed so hard that I thought I was going to have a heart attack.
	One thing that hits me often as I watch, Perry's basically a narcissist who hasn't worked, would sell his soul, think he's more right slash moral than everyone, and thinks he will only marry Scarlett Johansson.
	He's every millennial.
	Great point.
	Then he goes on on that.
	This is from a guy named Jameson.
	Woman rarely have it, but this chick's timing is magical.
	So we have a female comedian with the sprinkles.
	I don't believe you.
	Happy Proud Month.
	We are sacheting away with deals.
	This month at the butter shop, we're running a special deal.
	If you can prove that you're queer, you get three pints off your choice of creamed, checked, or drowned in the middle of the city.
	Okay, that's great.
	Thank you.
	And if you do.
	David and Reiser.
	This is one of the cutest things ever.
	Never gone skiing with a toddler, but I might try it.
	Okay, thanks for that.
	My dudes, Tig was edited into the movie after they canceled Chris DeLia.
	No.
	Yeah, we know that, right?
	Oh, no.
	Oh, you didn't know that?
	No.
	I thought we talked about that on the show.
	That's why her stuff sucks so hard.
	Scene you all shared.
	She's not in the frame With the other characters because she literally wasn't there.
	I thought we talked about that.
	Holy shit!
	Play your Tignitaro drop.
	I can't wait.
	No fucking way.
	Holy shit.
	So a dude dropped out because he's been raping women.
	Who do we got that can sort of help counter that?
	How about a lesbian with no tits?
	Hey, Gavin, I heard you mention on yesterday's show you were thinking about doing a video for Lynn Manuel's new movie, The Heights.
	I worked on the trailer for that movie a year ago.
	It is absolute garbage.
	It was so funny listening to all the leftist retards working at the studios freelancing for trying to fend the movie.
	You could tell they were lying to themselves.
	You know what?
	Because of their obsession with Hamilton.
	He's going to ride those coattails for a while.
	Yeah, no one in Washington Heights is not on welfare.
	Kind of hard to do a thing on Washington Heights and not mention that.
	Alexander.
	Let's take some calls.
	All right.
	Got to do a couple things here and should be set up at about 15, 15, 20 seconds here.
	Okay, okay.
	This is your japtin speaking.
	Oh, here's one we got to do.
	Yo, fags, that final video you couldn't find on Wednesday Zap was rapper Cameron spitting in a little girl's face.
	It's from the absolute worst movie ever made, Kill a Season.
	Here's the link.
	Amen.
	Oh, we gotta watch Kill a Season sometime.
	Did you flag it?
	This is final video.
	I can flag it, Little Girl Face Spit.
	It's from Kyle.
	Okay.
	Flag the blue.
	Yep.
	Got it.
	Wow, this is bad.
	Little bitch.
	Wait, is she dead?
	Motherfucker killed my niece.
	I don't understand them.
	Yeah, she's dead.
	Because that little faggot motherfucker killed my...
	Cameron's a Harlem dude.
	Remember that, what?
	Purple dip, whatever?
	Oh, the dip set.
	Dip set.
	Bird gang.
	No, wait, no, that's a different one.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, there we go.
	Very weird vibe.
	Weird scene.
	All right.
	We really waited late for these calls.
	Thanks a lot, Rolling Stone.
	Chilloo.
	Rolling Stone.
	There's the number to call in right there.
	And first caller, John.
	You're online.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	I have a heart condition.
	If you hit me, it's murder.
	I just re-watched a lot of those dudes.
	So I'm telling you, that movie is amazing.
	First off, I want to say thank you to both of you for keeping me happy every day.
	Every day I watch your shows, and it's just awesome.
	I was having a conversation with a couple of friends of mine.
	And, you know, it's really hard to stay positive.
	I wanted your advice on all the doom and gloom that everybody shoots out about how America is going to burn to the ground.
	And obviously we see that.
	But I'm trying to do something good with my life.
	And it's kind of hard to negate that.
	But I just didn't know if you had any, I don't know, any two cents to throw in there for somebody that's trying to turn things around, even though the atmosphere sucks.
	Well, this country and the Western world was founded on the notion of hard work and gaining self-worth from hard work.
	So if you're losing in a fight, you don't give up.
	You don't throw in the towel.
	You just keep on plugging away.
	And that's who we are.
	When there's a major problem like we're in right now, we know we just have to fix it.
	It's just harder to fix.
	It's like being an entrepreneur.
	You know, there was a massive flood in the restaurant and the insurance isn't going to cover it.
	Oh, well, I guess we can't take a paycheck this week or this month, but we just have to keep plowing through it and get our bank balance back up.
	And that's what we have to do with this country.
	That's what we have to do with Western civilization.
	Remember, we've been through a hell of a lot worse.
	The American Revolution, the Civil War, Vietnam, Korea was worse than this.
	And we had more division in the war in Vietnam as far as like families not speaking to each other and all that kind of stuff.
	So we've dealt with this shit before, and it is horrible, but maybe it's because things have been so good for so long that it seems like we're in the eye of the storm of the apocalypse.
	But yeah, the Great Depression, lining up for fucking food.
	We've been through a lot worse, and you just got to keep chugging away.
	Like when my wife was really upset that my son's not invited to some fucking party, and I'm like, all right, well, then we'll make a party.
	I can drive him somewhere.
	I'll take him to Cooperstown, whatever.
	We'll go to an arcade or, you know, we'll figure it out.
	And that's where we're at with this country.
	We just got to figure it out.
	Now, I know you get paranoid at like four in the morning when you start having the terrors, but you wake up, you have some Gatorade, you have a coffee, you have an English muffin with some Ron Darling on it, and the next thing you know, everything seems manageable.
	It's all manageable.
	You turn around and walk away.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	No need for platitudes.
	No need for thank you.
	Somebody Says, go get drunk.
	Hey, can you hear me?
	Yep.
	Gavin, go get drunk.
	This is like corporate you.
	We were just watching morning television.
	What the fuck are we doing here?
	I thought it was pretty funny.
	I am going to go get drunk after this show.
	Yeah.
	When you're doing off-the-cuff shit, you got to be wasted because this is a terrible show.
	All right.
	Well, thanks for calling.
	Well, it's not just Monday.
	That was pretty good, actually.
	I liked it.
	I liked it.
	I like me.
	President John.
	Yeah, Ryan, yeah.
	What a vivacious duo.
	How are you guys doing tonight?
	Very good, sir.
	We're good.
	Donald Trump's drunk uncle?
	Well, I'm a little drunk, a little tipsy.
	We're all tipsy sometimes.
	But I wanted to call this evening because I wanted the origin story of Ryan and Gav.
	Maybe Gav can say a little quip about when he met Ryan, and Ryan can give a little story about the first time he met Gav.
	Because, you know, I really love you guys.
	I want to kiss you.
	I just love you.
	And I'll tell you, I'm going to come.
	I'm going to come.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	You sound like John Kinsman that probably isn't.
	That was pretty good.
	So you were a fan of Pat Dixon, your compound media.
	You would go by that.
	You were a fan of Anthony Coomia, Open Anthony.
	You go by Compound Media a lot.
	That's right.
	You had no money, so you were spending all your credit cards staying at a youth hostel because you lived upstate.
	And then you got a gig at the Pat Dixon show because you can do imitations.
	And you did Asian Pat Dixon.
	And then I said, you did an imitation of me.
	And I said, oh, you should be Asian Gavin.
	Did you know that pissed off Pat?
	I didn't know it pissed him off, but he said, oh, you stole my Asian.
	Yeah, no, he was kind of like, not upset, but he was like, that's not cool.
	I have Asian Pat Dixon.
	Then you make him Asian Gavin McInnes.
	And I got to admit, that never occurred to me in my wildest dreams.
	And I see his point now, but back when he said it, I thought, dude, it was not malicious.
	Like, I didn't.
	I just thought, there's the funny nip.
	Let's make him, I want him to do tricks too.
	Yeah.
	I was just happy to do it.
	It's like a funny dog was at the studio and it was doing flips and I had him on my show.
	And then I had Dave Cast as my sidekick for a long time, but Laura Ingram scooped him.
	And Dave Cast was like an intern who ended up being my producer.
	Now he does Laura Ingram's show.
	And I needed a guy.
	And you had been coming by, I think, my show or someone else's show.
	And you figured out all the equipment.
	Yeah, Pat and me would film at night.
	Like with nobody else there.
	I'd learn how to wrap up the studio, open it up, start all the stuff.
	Who did when you were doing Pat's show?
	And then we would do like, I would be the only one there knowing the tech stuff, so you got the cameras all set up and learned the TriCaster.
	Did Pat pay you?
	No, I wouldn't ask him for money.
	I mean, because he wasn't making enough to warrant paying me, and I was happy to...
	It's like an internship.
	Like, why should an intern get paid?
	You know, at that point, I wasn't sure.
	I wouldn't ask why.
	I was asking if you got paid.
	No.
	So then, what was the first day I said, hey, come work on this show?
	He would pay me for other stuff.
	But how long was it?
	No.
	What was the, I don't remember, like, saying.
	Oh, you took me across.
	I met you across the street at the bar, and you were like, so my guy's leaving.
	He's like, maybe if you can come in and then just kind of like hold it down for a little bit while I find a real producer, actually.
	Like, I was going to be like a transient or is that what you call it?
	Transitional producer.
	And then we, and then it's been his.
	And that was CR-TV.
	Yeah.
	We were having a beer at John Sullivan's.
	And then when I got fired from CR-TV The Blaze, how long before we recorded a new show?
	A couple months.
	And then we wanted to wait.
	And you weren't getting paid then?
	Yeah, you were.
	I was paying you for two months where you did nothing?
	Well, we were putting up clips and we were working on stuff behind the scenes.
	I was moving the gear from.
	Oh, so we knew we were going to go solo.
	Yeah.
	Immediately.
	Yeah, we actually, there's an.
	I remember because I was fired on Christmas and then I had a meeting with someone January 1st.
	Yeah, you know what's funny?
	They told us before we were done making shows.
	So there's one of the shows that we knew that we were going to be off already.
	One of the last shows.
	Hi, welcome to the National Nigger Hour, where we talk about why the Holocaust didn't happen and why seven-year-old girls are sexy and usually cock teases.
	Let's start with some kiddie porn and then footage of a bear getting fucked by, I was going to say getting fucked by a dead mouse.
	That's the grossest thing I could say.
	By the DJ dead mouse.
	A bear.
	And then you take a little tiny dead mouse and you sort of put it in the little bear's ass.
	Yeah.
	This is the worst thing on video.
	That was on the spot.
	Oh yeah, we didn't even just say that.
	We filmed it.
	That's pretty funny.
	Don't merge with the blaze.
	You know what's funny is why guys.
	That wrote last episode?
	After examining why girls are so hot, we ask if someone is a Nazi, is offensive using a...
	So there's Nazi and hot girls in that statement.
	So not too far off.
	That was the second to last one.
	And I was actually looking at these to see the improvement of the sound over time and the image quality.
	Last night I was doing that.
	And we came a long way.
	You know, those first episodes, there were some really great episodes on the CRTV archives there.
	But we had to bleep everything out, had to be censored.
	I wasn't allowed to mention Proud Boys.
	Right.
	Yeah, it felt a little tight, you know, working there.
	And then, dude, one time, you know, they wanted us to, every time you say shit or fuck or anything, obviously you take that out.
	One time I let cunt go through.
	And I was sitting at home watching it like, oh my God.
	Oh my me.
	It was really bad.
	It was so bad.
	Yeah.
	That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
	What a cunt you are.
	Correct.
	Next call.
	Now we could say it all willy-nilly.
	Williard.
	Milliard.
	Joshua.
	Nine sip.
	Oh, hello?
	He just dropped.
	We'll call back.
	I'll recognize your first three numbers.
	Fireside chat artist.
	Does it do anything?
	Does it say anything?
	So I was wondering if you've seen Flags of Our Fathers by Clint Eastwood.
	Yes.
	You have.
	Yes, I believe I have.
	Why do you ask?
	Oh, because there's scenes in it where it's showing fucking, you know, Native Americans at the time were treated poorly.
	And the fucking left right now is fucking treating it like it's still the fucking way it is.
	And it's fucking annoying as shit.
	But the other thing is...
	Wait, are they mad about the movie?
	Are they mad about the movie?
	No, I'm mad about how fucking right now it's like, I know that back then, sure, that's how it was.
	But fucking now, come on.
	Well, they're all mad about those kids that were found, those graves from the 20s.
	These kids separated from their families.
	And you're like, yes, it was horrific.
	But, you know, we did separate white kids from their families, too.
	It was a horrible time.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Seriously.
	Fucking A. Oh, and I was also wondering, you guys should do like a zine.
	I feel like people would buy that shit.
	Yeah, Milo and I plan to do a zine with a cassette.
	We're going to do a zine, and thanks for calling, by the way.
	We're going to do like a 16-page zine with the cassette, which is a great idea if you have any free time whatsoever.
	But I've got this show, the gym, all my kids' sports, my daughter's boxing, my boys' boxing, baseball with two of the boys.
	I mean, I get like an hour a day.
	And it's hard to even be an alcoholic these days.
	Because I go into the bar, I order a maker's mark and a beer, and I usually have to chug the beer.
	Because I'm down to like 40 minutes at the bar every day now, which is a crime.
	Next call.
	Got Kim on the line.
	Hey, guys.
	Hey, man.
	Salvador.
	Hello.
	Hey, I just need to, you guys have been on fire lately.
	Thanks for everything you're doing.
	I just had to correct Gavin's pronunciation of a certain word he seems fond of using lately.
	And that is eponymous.
	Eponymous.
	But Gavin likes to say eponymous.
	I just had to bring that to light.
	Okay.
	Thanks for calling.
	It's great to catch up.
	Also.
	Next call.
	Remember, you only get one thing, so you might want to waste it on a.
	Tony, about the green screen from the other day.
	Hey, y'all.
	Hey, man.
	Thanks for taking my call.
	Gavin Ryan.
	Hello.
	I love the show.
	Just wanted to point out one thing about the Coach Buddy's green screen from the other day.
	The bikers stopping to buy lemonade.
	Many of us were taught since we were little, no matter what you do, is you stop and buy lemonade from little kids that are selling it no matter what.
	So I would also point out that those kids had bubble machines, which made it extra special.
	So pretty sure that anybody would have stopped to buy lemonade from them.
	Certainly I would.
	And probably you would have too.
	Yeah.
	That's my only coward.
	Thanks for the show.
	Cheers.
	By the way, speaking of cuckbuddies, that reminded me of a viewer sent in a thing, a doohickey, called it's a new, not a new, it's a Reddit, totally devoted to cuckbuddies.
	Nice.
	Now, excuse me if this is ancient news for you.
	It's not ancient news for me.
	Shit lib safari.
	All one word.
	And it's just nothing but people treating blacks like pets and saying things like, this picture of a Marine holding the door as Gianna Floyd walks into the White House is everything.
	Lots of is everything.
	Or there's one kind of far down.
	It's called, it's from Melinda Byrelli, and it says, black Twitter is funniest Twitter and most enlightening Twitter.
	It's farther down, Ryan.
	I recommend an observe, like, and share approach because we whites ruin things.
	And she says, I see so much hilarity there.
	This is a tweet, Ryan.
	It was a tweet.
	No, fucking...
	Keep going.
	Keep going.
	Keep going.
	There we go.
	There you got it.
	You got it.
	Nope.
	Up.
	There.
	I see so much hilarity there.
	Most of it is unique to their experience of the world.
	The wordplay, the delivery, it's a gift.
	Just let it wash over you.
	There will be things that confuse you.
	Be at peace with it.
	You don't have to be the audience for everything.
	Over time, you see themes emerging.
	It's then you start to grow.
	Like, how can that not be a joke?
	How can that be real?
	We whites ruin things.
	Yeah.
	I wish we'd invented something and created some sort of systems that people could operate societies in.
	You know, like separating church and state and the Industrial Revolution and electricity.
	Anyway.
	Angelou.
	You know, in that...
	Sorry, go ahead, Angela.
	Angelou?
	Or Angelou?
	Brother Man, Brother Man.
	Brother Man, Brother Man.
	Yo, Brother Man.
	Brother Man.
	Listen, I want to thank you and blame you for having my third kid with my wife.
	Right on.
	And, well, listen, great.
	I had a vasectomy after that.
	Oh.
	And then my wife came one day and woke me up and said, hey, good news, I'm pregnant.
	What?
	Ooh, you busted through.
	Listen, nobody knows this, but vasectomies, they don't stop from having kids.
	And I want to give a warning to everybody.
	Your kids just come out a lot darker for some reason.
	Well, congratulations on your African gift.
	Yeah, right now, I couldn't be happier.
	It was the best mistake Doctor ever made, and I got four kids.
	And definitely have to say thank you for that.
	All right, well, thank you, buddy.
	Thanks for calling.
	That guy's a fucking winner right there.
	You think of all the things you can win, like you got a Ferrari, ooh, or a promotion.
	Ah, it's not in the same universe as a child.
	And I know rich dudes, I'm on their boats, and I go, great boat.
	A lot of maintenance, though.
	Fuck.
	And the price of gas just to get this thing going.
	But I see some tradesman who's making 80 grand a year, which is low for a tradesman, with five kids.
	And I just think, fuck.
	Especially when some of them are old.
	Like, you have a 20-year-old that you made?
	Fuck, what the fuck was I doing all that stupid time?
	Even my son today, my eight-year-old in the back of the car.
	He goes, yeah, that's why you're going to be dead when I'm like 12.
	Oh, my God.
	And then he goes, 12.
	He's in the car.
	We're coming back from boxing with him and his buddy.
	I take his buddy and he goes, he goes, that's a good roast.
	He goes, you say to someone, you're going to be dead by the time I'm six.
	And then his friend laughs and he goes, yeah, because you're already six.
	That's a lot.
	And it is a good roast.
	Weird diss.
	He's funny.
	You're going to die by the time I'm 25 and I'm 50.
	All right.
	It doesn't translate that well out of Kid Land.
	Out of Kid Land, yeah.
	This guy's name is Ryan Tob.
	Hey, Ryan also.
	Ryan?
	Ryan?
	From Connecticut?
	No, I'm a different Ryan.
	Oh, dude, what up, dog?
	It's Brian Densmore from Connecticut.
	Hey, Miss Canteet, bro.
	That's my name.
	That's where I live.
	I'm from Connecticut.
	That's my name.
	Guys, fucking bring it.
	But, um, but yeah, but I wanted to talk about how, like, if people want to be fucking democratic, like, the worst thing in your racist, the fucking...
	It's.
	God.
	You got it.
	Thanks for calling, man.
	It was great catching up.
	Almost.
	Oh, no.
	It dropped?
	Did it drop?
	Or did he hang it?
	Okay, last call.
	I think he burned.
	Oh, shit.
	Can we do something real quick?
	The chat has sent in voice.
	There's not a lot, but there's voice messages.
	Okay.
	Here's a couple.
	They've been working on this.
	They'll end with those then.
	And they screen them, too, which is pretty cool.
	Okay.
	These are good.
	Screened voice messages from the chat, which is a place I've never been.
	Okay.
	So what do you think of the situation in Scotland with the SNP, Humzy Youssef and Nicholas Sturgeon's Tinpot dictatorship and the hate speech laws where now in Scotland you can't even insult trannies or fucking queers your own home without it being against the law.
	It's pretty fucked up.
	Seems incongruous with what I've always considered to be the Scottish spirit, primal scream, battered Mars bars and heroin usage.
	It's a shame to see another fucking Celtic country go down to shitter to this fucking wackadoo fucking Marxist nonsense.
	Yeah.
	I'd be interested to hear what you think of it.
	Well, I've said it before.
	I think Scotland lives out of spite of England, so they just do whatever England doesn't do.
	And if England's not being PC enough, then they have to go crazy PC.
	Canada does this too with America.
	They think we're racist, so they go anti-racist nuts.
	We're catching up with them now because it became popular.
	But I don't think Scotland has any viability as an independent country.
	They have no industry.
	They've got whiskey.
	They think they have oil.
	England owns that oil.
	So I don't know where you think you're going to start.
	Your dollar's fake.
	It's the English pound with a Scottish face on it.
	It's Canadian tire money, basically.
	And so separatism is stupid.
	And yeah, this idea that you're going to make your mark by oppressing your own people is just sad and ridiculous.
	It's fucking pathetic.
	You know, I love Scotland in many ways, but I also hate it.
	And their over-glorification of the underdog is just a curse at this point.
	All right, next message.
	We got to go.
	Teatable.
	What do you, Gavin?
	I was wondering if you could give me some advice on this.
	Just tell me what you think.
	That was beautiful.
	Nice.
	My only complaint would be I could tell it wasn't the actual song and you were doing your mouth because you change your vum vum jum jum.
	It's the exact same, all three.
	And they're sort of monosyllabalic.
	And so it goes, so there's.
	Now that actually switched to the real song, you probably can't tell where.
	But so the first two are different, but the first two and the second two are the same.
	You know what I mean?
	So it's the jum jum is different.
	But so it's ABAB.
	Wait, do it one more time?
	Okay.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah, yeah.
	See what I'm doing?
	Fuck the second part, right?
	Yeah.
	That's when I'm using my tongue.
	That was fucking good there, eh?
	Cody Kanak.
	It's Cody Kanaki or fuck.
	Gavin, you ever think those fucking years of you being a fucking vegetarian has stunted your old raisin-eyed fucking ass from getting fucking ripped?
	Take it easy.
	Yes, I have Cody Kanak.
	It's something I think of on a regular basis, especially as my eldest boy and I are now eye to eye.
	What the fuck have I done?
	14 years I wasted eating, literally eating soy.
	Everything we all make fun Of today because of crass, which is a great bookend to the show.
	Here's a terrible drawing that will not be for sale anywhere because it sucks.
	Thank you for tuning in.
	We might do a show tomorrow.
	Who knows?
	It's fun setting up the studio, though.
	Way do you guys see it?
	You're gonna fucking love it.
	A black bar, a white, because things are black and white with us, right?
	No gray.
	A white interview room, and a big white space studio that's like 2001 Space Odyssey.
	Ryan's got his big own, his big fancy office there.
	All new equipment.
	Much to the alt-left chagrin, we are not going bankrupt.
	And losing Milo, the news, and our social media guy, firing him, because why have a social media guy when you have no social media, has saved us 15 grand a month.
	So I'm feeling like spending some dough.
	And anyway, things are exciting.
	We're at a real sort of new zenith for this site.
	And I'm glad you guys are on this journey with us because it's going to be fun.
	And it's also saving Western civilization as we sit around and have some laughs.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Carried on reasons on the body.

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