All Episodes
Previous Next
May 28, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
45:21
GOML LIVE #100 - CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHIP (Part 1)

The media asked Biden what kind of ice cream and promptly orgasm when he tells them. Also, Felonious Floyd protecting the bird that is the bald eagle and the horrible whiteness of "rugged individualism."

| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
Do you recognize this ensemble?
Animal House.
Yes.
I remember seeing that speech and thinking that's what I want to be.
I want to lead some sort of a movement where we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore.
We'll speak on behalf of Delta House.
But you know what I ended up being in the Proud Boys?
Exactly.
That guy.
I ended up being the guys, calm down.
Calm down.
Stop doing that.
No, don't make that joke.
That's too spicy.
No, that's enough, Pepe's.
I think we've heard enough, Mr. Chairman.
I was told I'd have a chance to...
That's enough.
This is putting Max and John in prison for four years.
He said that?
Yes.
Are you deaf?
Let's finish this damn thing.
And then they took over.
And then I had to step down from the club.
I don't think it's fair.
That's what I said on my way out.
And then they threw all my friends in jail, and the SPLC destroyed my reputation.
And girls thought it was hot.
Hey, shut up, you asshole!
Mr. President, do we have to listen to any more?
And then Enrique took over.
They're serious this time.
Take it easy.
Stop going to rallies.
They're serious this time.
Don't go to January 6th and don't bring a clip.
Don't worry, man.
I could talk to the cops.
I'm friends with a lot of them.
No, it doesn't matter.
The cops don't have any control.
Took a few liberties with our female party guests.
We did.
But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few sick, perverted individuals.
Or if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system?
And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general?
I put it to you, Greg.
Isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?
Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you, bad mouth, the United States of America.
Gentlemen!
That's the couple.
I just realized he had a knit tie.
Yeah, I could be more authentic.
So, back when Nita Fashions, and this will be our Nita Fashions plug, info at NitaFashions.com, correct?
Back when they would come and visit hotel rooms, they'd come to New York City, and I showed them that clip, and I said, I need that suit.
And they found the swatch, And I found the tie, and they made the pink shirt, and we put it together.
Info at nitafashions.com.
So what you do now with them, they're not coming to your town anymore, or maybe they will in a few months.
But as of right now, you contact them.
They get on a Zoom call with you, and you do all your measurements.
They get your body perfect.
And then it's the prices are amazing.
You can get a dirt cheap shirt.
When I say dirt cheap, I mean like 60, 70 bucks.
Oh, I can get them at fucking Walmart for go fuck yourself.
Or you can get a very expensive suit.
Now, the problem with a tailored suit in New York, they're like five grand, six, seven grand sometimes.
Because tailors are rare.
But tailors are not rare in Hong Kong.
So what these guys will do, they can get you a suit for like a thousand bucks.
So anyway, discuss prices first and what your range is.
And then you can get all these shirts that fit you so perfectly.
You have no idea how perfectly comfortable I am right now.
There is no like, you know, the neck thing where you start, you can feel your Adam's Apple rub on the top button and you're like, I'm not going to have a panic attack.
I feel like I'm being choked out.
I don't right now.
Right now, I feel like I'm wearing a sweatshirt and I'm wearing a suit.
Ooh, and you know what's cool?
You get your name in it.
Mine says Gavin McInnis because that's my name.
But you get your name.
And you choose this fabric and everything.
It's fun.
So yes, that's our new sponsor, Nita Fashions.
Go to info at nitafashions.com.
Got it?
NitaFashions.com.
Have you made it clear enough?
So yeah, you go there.
They'll measure you on the Zoom, and then you can start talking about what you want to get.
And then once they have you in the book, you just call them up and you picture some shirts online and say, send me three more shirts.
A thin one for summer and a thick one for winter.
But there's also one other thing with that.
There's a promo code?
Oh, yeah.
I became obese after, I mean, I've been going to them for 10 years.
And I'm also, I prefer the term ripped.
I've become bigger.
And for some reason, I guess my waist is more muscular because it's bigger now.
I have a more muscular waist.
That's not a good outfit.
Oh, I was wearing that same shirt today.
Oh, it's a baseball game.
You know how much those shirts, those shorts cost me?
How much?
$350.
Hell.
It was our dumbest things I've done.
It's right after I left Vice and I had a big check.
And I was at some fancy surf store.
And I thought, oh, I'll just get these.
And I put them down and they're like made in Amsterdam or some shit.
And the guy goes $350.
And the only time in my life I've ever done this, and I've never done it since, I went, oh.
Instead of going like, what the fuck?
You out of your mind?
And just put them back.
I went, oh.
And just paid.
I've done that a lot.
Yeah.
So stupid.
Those don't fit me anymore.
So anyway, I call them up and I go, dude, what am I going to do now?
My waist is like two sizes bigger.
And they go, no problem, Mr. McInnes.
Your pants all have an inch and a half extra sewn in.
And I didn't notice that.
So send them back to us and we'll expand them and send them back for your charge.
And now all my suits fit like PJs again.
That's the guy.
That's the son.
Anyway, Nita Fashions is great.
The reason I chose that opening song, though.
In Massachusetts, because I just watched this new Bee Gee's dock that's going around.
Do you ever heard about this?
Before I saw this dock, I was like, yeah, yeah, I know the BGs, like disco band.
They got a lot of flack when everyone hated disco, and they did the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack.
And I heard they were kind of more rock before that.
They had a whole bunch of songs that were kind of heavy.
There's like 37 Begs.
Not guys, but versions of the band.
What?
Sort of like Van Halen.
When they were little kids, they would play parties and weddings and stuff.
Like Eddie Van Halen and Alex Van Halen would go with their dad and he'd play the piano.
Right.
And they'd go do weddings, anything, funerals, conga, polka, whatever you want.
Which is a crucial part of the puzzle because you get to the point where you're just so fucking good at music that you can churn it out in an afternoon.
I also think a massive part of this is innate talent.
And what the Van Halens did and the Bee Gees did is they combined their innate talent with Malcolm Gladwell's thousands hour minimum.
And what a fucking band.
Look up how many hits the Bee Gees have.
I believe it's 347,000.
So they had that.
So they had like a Beatles thing.
They were basically the Beatles in the 60s.
They came up with the Beatles.
Girls screaming their heads off, all that.
Then there's a lull, then they're the psychedelic guys because everyone's doing that.
And they rode all these different waves.
And then they keep dying, right?
Of course, that's what happens in pop music.
You're huge and you die.
Momus, my buddy MoMus, the EDM guy, his solution to that problem is he just moves to different parts of the world.
So when I met him, he was living in Japan, having a whole new career there as a dance electronic music guy in Japan.
The Bee Gees didn't do that.
Well, they did move from Australia to Britain to America, but they would just keep reinventing themselves.
How many hits did just type in, Ryan?
Hits.
You type into Google, how many hits did the Bee Gees have?
Question mark.
I have done that, sadly.
And what did it say?
It basically told me to fuck myself and look at Wikipedia and I was like, all right, well, I'm not scrolling through that, but I found an article.
No, no, you wrote how many hits Bee Gees and you made Bee Gees one word.
It's two words and have how many hits Bee Gees have?
How many hits did the Bee Gees have?
You've got to really spoon feed these youngsters.
43 HATA top 100 hits for the group.
How many?
43?
Yeah, first of 43 HATA.
No, I saw something in this article here that said how many hits they had.
Okay.
Well, you can tell us when you're ready.
Stop killing the momentum of the show.
So then their career is sort of waning, and they go, we need something at the end of this song, like, yeah, going away.
Like as the song's fading away.
And Barry Gibb, I forget the hunkiest one, just goes, because you got to know, nah.
I can't do it, obviously, with my voice.
But he does this falsetto thing.
And everyone goes, that sounds cool.
And they go, we've always been influenced by those sort of doo-wop bands with the high voice, with the falsetto.
And then they said, well, why don't you do that?
Start now.
So then they become the falsetto band.
They've already had like four careers.
Then they do the falsetto thing.
There we go.
Bee Gee's ranked third among groups for most hot 100 number one hits.
34 song chart appearances.
What is that?
Bee Gee's rank third.
Clicked it.
And it's loading.
It's loading.
Are we having a slow internet night again?
I believe that is the truth.
That's what's happening here.
Look at those singles.
Five in the UK, 19 in the UK top 10.
Oh, these are all UK ones.
Yeah.
So that's not interesting to me, Ryan.
I already already want to kill you.
This is the ranked third thing.
That's still.
This is art.
That was loading that whole fucking time.
We're not off to a good start.
They spent 33 weeks in the chart.
We're still learning stuff about the Bee Gees.
How deep is your love, of course?
Yeah, yeah.
I don't want to know that.
So it's like 34 or something, but that was Britain.
Now I'm getting mad.
Keep scrolling down.
20.
So who are the other two guys?
What kind of headline is that?
It's got to be in the opening paragraph.
Go to the opening paragraph.
Trio, blah, blah, blah.
One of the group in history, a deep is your love.
Save for the Beatles and the Supremes.
Oh, the Supremes?
Yeah.
The Supremes?
The Supremes are number two?
What do they have?
Fucking.
Fucking a lot.
Much of fucking gay love songs.
Actually, gay, yeah.
The Supremes?
Loving a man when you're a man.
Let me see some of them.
Let's see.
Baby Love, Back in My Arms Again.
Come see about me.
Oh, of course.
Everybody's favorite.
Love is like an itching in my heart.
Oh, that one.
I can never get play that song.
What the fuck is love is like an itching in my heart?
That's gross, by the way.
It sounds like you have you didn't wipe your heart well enough.
You have Jock Hart.
Never heard this hit before.
Anyway, and then disco happens, and everyone hates them.
So they're depressed.
And everyone just hated them because that was the thing.
I remember I was around then in the 70s, and we would wear shirts that said death before disco.
And I was like seven.
And my babysitter goes, Do you hate disco?
I go, Yeah, I'd rather fucking die.
And then she plays like Heart of Glass by Blondie, and she goes, What do you think of this song?
I go, It's awesome.
Who's this?
She goes, It's Disco.
And it was like, I had been raped.
My babysitter raped me.
That was a man you just a whole Bee Gees there.
They were huge then.
Look, they're signing autographs when they're like fucking 12.
I remember being grossed out the first time I saw the Bee Gees.
My aunt was listening to them like a concert on the TV, and I was like, Who are they?
They're ugly as fuck.
And my was like, Those are the Bee Gees.
They were the greatest bands in the world.
That's their failed musician dad.
And their other, their mom was also a dad, apparently.
My two dads.
How can you mend a broken heart?
Yeah, it's really good.
Worth a watch.
Although they had a younger brother who came along later, and he also had 8 million hits.
But he OD'd, I think, Coke.
I think he coked himself to death, which is a challenge.
But they don't really touch on that.
It's sort of like watching a Queen documentary, and they don't mention that Freddie Mercury was a fag, which they did in the Queen documentary.
They just sort of show him, or not, documentary, the movie with Remad Zimbi or whatever.
They just show him go into the room and it's implied.
Remy Mallow.
But like, his gayness was pretty huge.
I mean, he did bring opera to the masses.
That's not normal for straight man.
Speaking of over, it's easy to overdose on Coke if you get it from Brooklyn lately, though.
There's been fentanyl with this.
This was not during fentanyl days, believe it or not.
Oh, my God.
Pre-fentanyl Bee Gees.
So then, wait, I'm telling the story all wrong.
And then disco, so disco's bad, and everyone hated them just because they were popular, just like me when I was a kid.
I just, that's what you do.
And then they go, let's become songwriters.
They have another fucking career writing songs for Barbara Streisand.
I don't know if your 30 hits there were included songs they wrote that people didn't know they wrote.
It's amazing.
And you're watching it and you're like, I could be a songwriter.
Probably because I drink.
So I watch these movies with like a, with a, with liquid courage.
And I'm like, I could probably, yeah, I'd be like, hey, hey, we got to get out of here, guys.
Let's run away to the party.
Oh, no, that's not good.
Hey, it's a party Saturday, boys.
Look out for your friends over there.
No, that's not working.
It's like I was watching Joe Fraser and Muhammad Ali because it's the anniversary of someone's death, or maybe Joe Fraser just died or something.
And I'm like, oh, I never noticed this, but Joe Fraser does a Larry Barnes thing where he's always going low.
And Muhammad Ali just can't get him.
And Muhammad Ali had all this length on him.
So Fraser went, I'm not going to go toe-to-toe with this guy.
He'll knock me out.
So I'll just go low and I'll be like a little groundhog like Larry Barnes.
And then my drunken, not drunken, but you know, buzz self goes, that's going to be my shit.
I'm going to become like a Barnes Fraser guy.
And I'll always be going low underneath the arms.
Then today I was at the gym like after three bobs and weaves going, I got to sit down.
This is exhausting.
So the you are at night is not accurate.
Which brings us to tactical walls.
This episode of Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
They made us that cool shelf.
We cannot say enough about this vet-owned, awesome fucking company.
And you guys send me pictures of your gun racks, and I'm like, why don't you use tactical walls?
You have like stupid guitar hooks and stuff like for holding a guitar or you just have it on some cheap shelf.
If you're spending that kind of money on a gun, why not have a cool Kingsman-esque?
Remember the movie The Kingsman where they show all the guns?
Kingsman-esque.
Look at that issue box.
That's such a great name.
For your guns.
Now you can also use it for your sports equipment, your bike, your tools.
This thing, look at that.
Eight pages.
Pages and pages.
Pages and pages of awesome products, but their main focus is these tactical walls where you have your guns.
If any shit goes down, you want to be able to just have them there where you can yank them off the wall, especially you're in a state where you don't have to hide them in a safe.
Look at that setup.
What's he got to say?
This is me again, Tim with Tactical Walls, and I want to show you our new mod wall system here behind us.
Behind us, behind me.
You're over there.
I'm over here.
It says, behind me, in front of you.
But here we are.
I think that's the guy I talked to.
He's a lot older.
at warp speed or dial-up speed depending on where you are and who your carrier is here's some mod wall panels we've got set up here on this wall mod wall is designed to work on a standard 2x4 wall but just to show you how versatile it is you can put it on brick So what we did was put up some furring strips on the brick, and then we installed the mod wall to the furring strips.
And we've got two panels here.
You've got a seam right here in the middle.
The cool thing about our mod wall system is it's expandable vertical.
Look at this.
This guy can build anything, including a statue of me and Ryan.
Daisy chained these suckers together to have a full wall if you want from floor to ceiling or from wall to wall or floor to ceiling and wall to wall, which would be your entire wall.
That'd be a pretty cool system.
You could have a bead, like a very likable guy, isn't he?
All right, that's enough.
A booby trap wall.
That'd be fucking dope.
Yeah, like you have a shelf where it shows like guns here.
And then you go to open it and two giant bolts shoot out through your chest.
That's like with Bob Odenkirk, where he goes, we were home invaded twice.
If you're home invaded once, then it's going to have a thing where you break this panel and 17 cinder blocks covered in AIDS fall on your head.
You turn into Kevin McAllister after the first time.
Kevin McAllister meets Rambo.
So if you sneak in my back door, a giant fucking branch goes shunk through your thighs.
You wouldn't be like, again, with the home invasions.
This is becoming a pattern.
Yeah, there's no fucking way.
Bullshit, Bob Onenkirk, you fucking liar who made an awesome movie where you changed the races.
I'm going to put on the AC for a second.
Tell me if it bothers you.
Any bothering going on?
No, not me.
Okay.
And people have written in and said not.
So yeah, tacticalwalls.com.
Check it out.
Support vets.
Support American businesses.
So we got need of fashions.
We got tactical walls.
We covered the opening song.
Oh, I meant to say this last show, but I'll say it now.
But I'm talking to you here on a human level.
That is a very human level.
I guess we'll start with the important news.
DJ Khaled cannot say the word circumstances.
Circumstances.
Circumstances.
It's an easy word.
From your circumstance.
What's the word?
Circumstance.
Circumstances.
Circumstances.
Circumstance.
Circum.
Circum.
Circumstances.
Stances.
Circumstances.
But she can't say it either.
They had what's her name there from the men?
Fergie?
Fergie.
Yeah, that looked like Fergie.
But she tries to say it cool and rap because everyone thinks DJ Khaled's black.
He's a Palestinian.
You don't have to talk black to him.
Relax.
Circumstance.
Circumstances.
Like, she's bad too.
There's some words I can't say.
Circumstances.
I don't want to get my son circumstanced.
I'm against circumstances.
He's uncircumcised.
You did a great job.
Do you have words you can't say?
I always have a problem with the abominable snowman.
Abominable.
I keep thinking there's an extra B in there.
Abominable.
You know, I don't know.
Basically anything smart.
Yeah.
Full sentence.
I know a word you have trouble with.
Everything.
Correct.
Yeah.
Speaking of which, I was at the fag zone earlier today, and I just thought you guys should see how it's progressed over the years with the show.
He is, he's been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson, and he's decided to clean his room.
And the way he's cleaning it is with several meters deep of laundry.
Turn it up.
She's atrocious.
It also says the word nigga 47 times.
Yeah, so the first video that you took, I decided to drop a certain word a certain amount of times to make it.
Yeah, he said the N-word 14 times, so I wouldn't ever show it on the show.
And that's what he's referencing the second time.
I think he denied the Holocaust and said a bunch of other things.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Hoping I wouldn't post it.
I was like, worst things.
I actually didn't post it, but I caught him again.
So, you know, you can pause that at home and just have a look at the squalor this man lives in.
Look, go back.
Like, I have 50 years of clothes, sort of.
Well, not 50, but I've been around.
I've lived in New York for 20 years.
So I should have 20 years of clothes cycled through.
You have enough clothes.
Like, let's go to the corner there where the guitar is.
No, no, the other way.
The other entire way.
Yeah, like all that.
It's a lot of clothes.
And you never, it's not like you're always wearing a different fun outfit.
That's true.
That's true.
So why not?
You told me like weeks ago you were going to get a contractor bag and just throw it all out.
That's true.
You know what I've noticed is a lot of those are seasonal clothes.
Like see that the plaid there?
Like everything plaid, flannel.
This is all winter and fall clothes, right?
So there's a bunch of outfits.
There's like four months worth of outfits that I cannot wear during the season, you know, and that's kind of rough.
But if I, you know what I should do?
Yeah, no one else has that scenario.
But they usually have everyone else has a winter room, a summer room, and a spring and fall room for their various walk-in closets.
Correct.
And so that's you explaining the clothes.
What about the other disgusting clutter?
Like, look at the desk underneath the video game.
Right.
No, underneath the video game.
Like, what is all that fucking garbage?
It's too fuzzy, but...
Oh, there we go.
That's kind of good.
There's just mail and shit.
Shit.
A cowboy hat.
Like, I think I gave you that trunk underneath.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
Wait, I gave you a trunk.
And I go, you could just put your socks anywhere in here.
And then you move the trunk out and added two more boxes of clothes.
Right.
Anyway, pathetic.
I want to have a little Canada news.
Oh, shit, I forgot to number these, dude.
He's not cleaning.
I do crying Jordan Peterson pretty well now.
Okay, let's hear it.
Oh, I closed the video shit.
He's not cleaning his room properly.
And it makes me sad.
It really makes me upset.
He does the look up thing to try not to cry, but he does.
Why is he such a crybaby?
He's an emotional guy.
I feel him.
Early in the mornings, if I hear like a sad song, I'm liable to have a lip quiver.
Oh, I had a little cry today.
Oh, yeah.
I saw on the Fox News Instagram, it was some woman went to pick up her cake for her son, and the cake was paid for, and it had a card with it, and it said, I paid for your cake.
My son died at 30.
This would have been his fifth birthday in heaven.
Oh, my God.
Go down.
Maybe it's.
I thought it was Fox News.
Maybe it wasn't.
I could look.
There it is.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
The picture here.
What?
It's a picture.
Of course, it's a picture.
Shit for brainstorming Instagram.
they have videos that like with a little piano music i literally picture today is my son's 35th birthday his fifth one in heaven In his memory, I've paid for your cake.
Please enjoy, make special memories, and hug your children.
Loved and loved ones tight.
My son loved cake.
And I started to well up with tears thinking about that gesture and her son.
And then I thought, wait a minute, my son loved cake?
Did he weigh 650 pounds?
No, I think it's just a light, it's a little levity.
Did he die of obesity?
That makes me less sad.
This is you trying to not be sad.
No, I just, when I saw the loved with two underlines, my eyes dried up immediately.
That was a fat piece of shit.
Oh, you had diabetes because you overindulged yourself.
Speaking of overindulging in Vancouver, I have a little bit of Canada news on Vancouver Island.
This is not the first Canada news, the second one.
A junkie finally took a shit after how they get constipated.
Of course.
And so they had to, the sanitation group had to.
It didn't fit in the toilet, obviously.
So they took it to the ocean in a truck and just sort of rolled it out to sea and hoped it would find its way.
It's one of those where it was so massive that it broke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like when you see that is in the next picture.
That's the other half that was on a different one.
So there's two different pictures.
But the locals were furious because they're rolling into the ocean and they realize that the fish are going to eat it.
And then every time you eat fish locally, you're eating this fat junkie's shit.
Every fish you eat is poofer fish.
See, this is a hard joke to do in the suburbs because they don't know that junkies take a shit once every two weeks.
And I miss that.
I miss being able to make junkie jokes.
You know when we were at the Tommy Robinson trial in Britain, someone threw a junkie shit at us.
Wow.
It hit the ground and rolled to the side.
And it was this big.
No.
Yeah.
That might have been bear shit, dude.
What?
Bear shit.
You know what bear shit looks like?
Is it little turds?
Oh, I can't show any of these pictures.
No, bear shit just looks like someone poured pancake batter Anyway, it looked like a brown tornado, like someone took an entire tub of ice cream and just played with it for a bit.
And it hit the ground.
It was all Tommy Robinson fans.
So there must have been some Antifa person just hurling it from really far away.
Wow.
And no one knew what it was, but I did.
Growing up in Montreal, I know what junkies look like.
And the fun thing about it is you could see, like, that was Monday.
Tuesday was, like, there was all the different shades.
It was like a little calendar.
And then one of the soccer hooligan type of skells of a chick just sort of kicked it aside.
Is he going to eat that?
Sure is.
Now, a lot of people think this is chocolate.
It is not.
Chocolate does not occur naturally in the forest.
This is actually bear scat.
But the great thing about this is when you open it up, you dry heave.
Turn it up.
Try and get one out of it.
That looks like a cliff bar.
It's actually not digested.
So the bear's obviously eating a lot of nuts, a lot of fruit, and not all of it gets absorbed.
You're nuts and you're fruit.
And actually, if you're desperate.
If you eat that shit.
That could actually be a food source.
All you need to do is wash it.
Is wash this off, get all the bacteria and the fecal matter off it.
No, thanks.
I'd keep looking.
Eat some of that grass behind you.
Imagine like he approaches it like Gordon Ramsey, where he goes to the bears, like, this shit isn't even digested.
This is pathetic.
Where did you learn how to shit?
You don't want to get sick you end up eating bacteria like all of that bit if you don't wash it.
This isn't even cooked You'd have to wash it like with a fire hose.
Sometimes you're better off being hit.
Before I'm 100% sure.
We're going to wash this with bear piss.
Enough.
Also in Canada news, I was just going through videos and there's these pedophile hunters.
Like when we were kids, if a Nazi skinhead caught a punk walking down the street, he'd beat the shit out of you.
And vice versa.
You'd have fucking skateboarders would bump into a BMX guy and it would be a fight.
Look at hockey.
There's a fight because you're on the other team.
But this guy bumps into a fucking pedophile and berates him for 44 minutes.
Beat him up and call the cops or just call the cops.
But arguing with him about wanting to fuck a 12-year-old?
And then he's like, I'm from India, buddy.
Yeah, it's not legal there either, my friend.
It's not even legal in Mexico.
This goes on and on and on, so I won't waste your time, but she's 12 years old, dude.
What's wrong with you, man?
You just came here and you're looking to get arrested and go back.
No, sir, I don't want to talk about it.
She's 12 years old.
You can't do it.
I really know.
Really?
I have you in the chats.
I came here to make a life.
Ah, I love, look, what is this?
What does this mean?
You know what, sir?
I love getting head.
I love having XXX.
I love licking.
I love kissing.
I go crazy behind.
Can I just say something?
Say something.
I really thought she is hating.
Dude, she confirmed the age with these fists.
See, you jumped too far ahead.
Go back when he has no mask on.
It's not good TV when someone has no mask on.
No, you acknowledge it.
And turn it up.
I can't hear shit.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really new to Canada.
Sorry, sir.
Just 12 years old.
What's the matter with your hand?
I don't want to do that.
Anything like that.
No, no.
Read the messages.
You're going to talk right now before I call the police.
I don't care if you're new to Canada.
That excuse is getting old.
That excuse is getting old.
No.
You get what I'm saying?
He's got the anger.
Like, do you yell at murderers too?
You jerk.
I hate murder.
This is what phone is.
Why did you murder someone?
If you put the phone down.
I swear to God, I'm going to call the cops if you don't apologize.
I checked out his YouTube page, and there is instances where he hasn't called the cops because the guy showed remorse.
Come on.
Oh, you mean you got hustled?
Right.
But go back.
Go back.
So, this is in Toronto.
Don't say Trana and don't say Saturday night live.
It's Saturday Night Live.
But jump ahead here.
Like way.
They end up going to his house.
It's before that.
I think.
But the problem isn't that is I don't care.
And then he's all buddy-buddy with the guy's roommate.
Keep going.
He's almost.
This is serious man.
No, no, no.
You're going the wrong fucking way.
Let's go.
Sir.
Don't worry.
Your house will be blurred out.
Everything will be blurred out.
Don't worry.
Let's go.
Keep going, Ryan.
You're making me mad again.
Yeah.
Yeah, there.
Wait, now go back.
You just went a little too far.
But turn it up.
Okay, let's see the door open.
Listen.
Do I have permission to come in your house and record?
Yes.
Yes?
Yes.
Okay.
Leave the door open.
Leave the door open.
I don't know.
I typically don't do this.
This is weird.
What are you doing?
Hello, how are you?
Hello, how are you?
I'm just.
I caught your friend being a pedophile.
Not too bad.
What you cooking?
Yeah.
What you cooking?
I'm making LA.
Omelette?
Oh, man.
Omelet, omelette, omelet.
That's good, man.
That's good.
Omelet, omelet, omelet.
That's good, man.
Okay, so.
He's blanking.
Come here, buddy.
After you finish your omelet, don't worry.
After you finish your omelette?
What?
I'm so the guy's mentally ill.
I think he's an intense pussy.
But he was molested as a kid, so he has the anger.
But not the balls.
This is a very serious thing.
40 minutes has gone by.
Very serious, okay?
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, it goes on and on like that.
That is weird.
Here's a gross sexual thing.
Look at Pervert Wigpig.
It's a pitch I sent separately.
No, no, no, in the airdrop.
Oh, gotcha.
No, no, no.
Yeah, there.
Can we please just do away with the concept of family friendly?
Kids should be learning about sex, queer stuff, consent, kink, etc. from an early age.
Family friendly is just a way to treat children like shit because adults need power trips.
Now, anyone who's been near a kid knows sex is the very last thing they want to know about in the world.
And this is Jew Anarchist69.
Look at his fucking face.
This is a trend going on right now.
Now that weirdos have been normalized, we're starting to see a lot about how kids need to know about sex.
We had that New York school where they were talking about the orgasm gap to, I think it was fifth graders and how children are sexual.
They are not sexual beings.
I've told this story a hundred times, but I was watching The Croods with my youngest who's eight, and the girl has a crush on the boy.
They're like teenagers, and he was going like this, like, I don't know, someone was having their eyeballs eaten with a fork.
Like, he couldn't look at it.
We turned it off.
They're not into that kind of shit.
Okay?
Can you stop talking about sex and kids?
Drag queen story hour.
Drag queens are sex.
That culture is about sex.
Their names are sexual double entendres.
I can't believe we have to say this in 2021, but get sex away from fucking kids.
Hey, kids, this is what polyamorous means.
Speaking of sex, this is another picture I sent you.
I was blown away to see this.
Adrian Tomine is a really talented graphic novel dude.
This is the Chinese guy you're going to see.
That one.
And one of his first books is called Shortcomings.
It has a ruler down the side.
It's one of the bravest books I've seen.
Forget that it's a graphic novel.
It's one of the bravest confessions, and it's autobiographical.
And it's about him getting dumped by this girl he really likes and her being weird about it.
And then him realizing it's because he has a small dick because he's Japanese.
Like I'm reading it going, this is not the kind of thing that's said out loud.
And then he had a million awards and a whole other career.
This was a long ass time, probably 20 years ago.
And then I see he's bringing that back up and having Randall Park play him.
Randall Park?
That's fucking balls.
Isn't it?
Big balls for such a little dick.
Comparatively big balls.
Now you're Asian.
What's your penis look like?
She's terrible.
Like a thumbnail?
I mean, a thimble?
Like, this is a pretty accurate.
It's just like a little stub.
It's a nub.
So when you have oral sex, like when a woman says, I want to blow you, you're like, it's going to be more like you eating me out.
Yeah, I just giggle and go.
It's tickly.
It's like lesbians give you good blowjobs because they're used to licking clits.
It's like a mouth scissoring.
I see.
And when a woman is fucking you, does she know?
I mean, when you're a fucking woman, is she aware or does she flip through a magazine?
They're awake, but don't check in.
Because you have big shoes.
Right.
We have the same shoe size.
I think you have to have a half size bigger than you.
You're 10?
I'm 10 in Chuck Taylor's.
I'm 10 and a half.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
The shoes I stole from you were 10.
Oh, you go a half size down with Chuck Taylor.
So I'm like close.
I could fit in two.
I just said 10 in Chuck's and you go, I'm 10 and a half.
Well, not in Chuck's.
You're so dumb.
Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
Windy out.
Wait, what?
You're so dumb talking to you as like a Maxwell tape hat.
I just sit on the chair going, you look like Randall Park.
I'm 10 and a half with, you know, dunks or whatever.
Yeah, same here.
Garret Jordans.
We got the same foot.
So that makes me think you do.
Because my dick is so alarming that I can't be nude in front of anyone who isn't dying to fuck me.
Then they just get bummed up.
It's like looking at a porn.
Right.
They're like, I'm watching a porn now.
Even like at the, if I'm at the gym and I'm changing and guys see it, they're like, who put on the gay porn?
I'm like, that's just me.
It's like looking at like a parked Ferrari.
It's like, that thing should be going.
That thing should be going.
I want to go for a ride at night.
Vroom, vroom, Mr. McGinnis.
Vroom.
Vroom, vroom.
And that's what all the guys in my boxing gym say.
Vroom, vroom.
There is a dude, a gay dude there, who I don't change with him anymore.
He just wears a jock strap with the elastic bands around his lower buns and nothing else.
His buns are there.
That's not good.
And I think he might get a sexual rush from sparring.
Oh.
Or from just wearing the.
Yeah, that's what he had on, the blue ones.
Show that?
That's what he wears.
What's the purpose of that?
I don't know.
To have your shirt.
Maybe it's for sharding on purpose.
He gave one of the guys, he goes, I wrote a book.
And he gave him a book that he had written.
And he was like, oh, cool.
So he gets home.
He didn't know the guy was gay.
He's black.
The Irish guy who got the book.
And he's looking at it and he's like, hmm, hmm.
He took all 12 inches of his cock down.
And he threw the book away out of his hands.
Ah!
Ah, Masked Man's a fag.
As you.
Oh, I forgot.
We were supposed to dump the freebies.
Yeah, wait, wait.
We could have just hard cut them.
No, no.
This isn't bad.
We go for half an hour.
It's only 40 minutes.
We're only 10 minutes late.
Johnny Apple CBD, our oldest sponsor, jacbd.com.
Oh, shit, I said I was going to have the gummies.
I still didn't get around to that.
Everyone swears by the gummies.
They say, because you know when you wake up at like four with some anxiety and then you wake up at six or your kid comes into bed and it's kicking you and his sleep and being upside down or the birds are chirping.
The other day my wife goes, that bird is really annoying.
Because we both, it was impossible that we'd be asleep.
She didn't have to say, are you awake?
It was about like five, I almost said 580.
You know, really, really late.
Like 580.
That was a story with Vinny Stigma and I think it was, what was it, Agnostic Front.
And they were on tour.
And he fell asleep in the tour van and they're listening to like 899 FM.
And he's asleep and he wakes up and he goes, holy shit.
I was asleep that whole time.
We're going to be late.
And they go, relax, relax.
We got plenty of gummy.
He goes, when is the show?
When is the show?
Vinny Stigma, you should be looking up, by the way.
What are you looking up?
Annoying birds.
Annoying birds.
How about annoying co-hosts?
Nothing came up for that.
Yeah.
Well.
And that's the guy.
And he wakes up and he's like, what the fuck?
And he goes, when's the show?
And they go, it's 9 o'clock.
And he goes, look at the time.
It's $8.99.
It's one minute away from 9 o'clock.
Anyway, yeah.
The gummies, you sleep through the night.
Great.
Now, it's not like you trip balls.
It just, there's no illegal stuff here.
This is pot without the bad stuff.
But we got the isolates and waxes.
I haven't seen that before.
Is that a new one?
At the bottom there?
The supplements, the tincture is above my head.
What else?
Go up a little bit?
That was the pets.
Topicals, cartridges, gummies, tinctures.
What's above my head there?
The stem thing?
That's the cartridges, the stem vaporizer.
I like the tinctures.
You like the tinctures?
That we've had at the studio.
Hell yeah.
We finished them all.
We just put in all our coffee.
We need another dose.
True that.
We need a repeat.
Go to jacbd.com.
Use the promo code Gavin.
Maybe I wasn't clear earlier, too.
With Native Fashions, you use the promo code Gavin.
Say I sent you.
And Tactical Walls use a promo code Gavin.
And JACBD use the promo code Gavin.
Actually, from now on, anytime you hear us praise something on this show, use the code Gavin.
Okay?
So thank you, jacbd.com.
Thank you for supporting free speech from day one.
Uh-oh, I'm kind of tripping on my words here.
All right.
So that's the end of the freebie part of the show.
And I would encourage all you freeloaders to go to censored.tv, get a subscription.
We had a big thing on George Floyd this week where we did a separate show.
We broke down this massive list of all the black people killed by whites or the KKK or cops.
And we found four egregious cases where the person was not punished.
Out of 42, they went back to the 60s, and two of the four were from the 60s.
So you're talking about like bombing a black church, a black school, and like horrible KKK shit from the 60s before even Martin Luther King was assassinated.
That America.
So really, as far as modern America goes, which I call post-MLK assassination, there's been two out of 42 horrific examples of racism.
Anyway, that's not the best way to sell censored.tv, but we got a new show, The Spiel, that I'm very excited about with Gavin Wax and Isabelle O'Reilly.
And Josh Denny's got a new show out.
Jim Goat has added a live streaming show on his own accord.
AIU is posting very regularly, very popular guy.
And of course, Michael Graves of The Misfits, Radio Deadly.
So more content than you have time to see.
And then I do a show with Anthony Cumiya every Wednesday that is live called Compound Censored.
And he also shows it on his network.
So there's a lot here on the other side.
We'd like you to cross over, come to the dark side, Luke.
You can feel the force within you.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
▲
Export Selection