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May 4, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:45:04

S03E106 - $69M SEX

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Time	Text
	I must look like a dork.
	Oh, I said which made me look like a dork.
	I must look like a dork.
	Looks a little weird.
	Looks like 1950s.
	This looks colorized.
	Doesn't it?
	Oh, maybe.
	Yeah.
	We got a new monitor, folks.
	So that was the Minutemen from San Pedro.
	Mike Watt, D-Boone, some other dude, a little trio.
	And they were considered hardcore or punk, but they were not.
	They were kind of jazz, rock, fusion, weirdos.
	They invented their own type of music.
	And it was all D-Boone.
	This kind of fat guy.
	He was a military brat.
	And they just, they didn't want to be like anyone else.
	So they made their own type of music.
	Sometimes it was classical.
	Sometimes it was rock.
	Sometimes it went fast, slow.
	Double nickel on a dime, great album to listen to when you have to listen to something 300 times.
	Do not do meth and listen to double nickel on a dime because five days will vanish.
	But that song was called a political song for Michael Jackson.
	You know on Jackass where you hear that down.
	Down ow now.
	Down ow no no no.
	That's the Minuteman.
	Great band.
	But unfortunately, D-Boone, when they were on tour, he felt sick.
	He was lying in the back.
	This could be related to his obesity.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Poor people will survive.
	So he's sleeping in the back, and it was a shitty tour van.
	The rear axle broke off.
	He was pitched out the back window and snapped his neck dead instantly.
	And Mike Watt didn't really recover.
	So that's D. Boone in the front.
	That's Mike Watt behind him in the middle.
	Sorry, I forgot the other guy's name.
	And he went into a deep depression.
	But then Sonic Youth convinced him.
	Come on, dude.
	And he came out.
	He had this one song called History Lesson Part 2.
	And play it.
	It's 1-2.
	E-Boo's mother made him start this band.
	Because she wanted the kids to stay out of trouble.
	And what?
	Besides the debt.
	Poor woman.
	My man could be alive.
	Real name could be the true.
	Insane.
	Me and Mike Wah, we played these guitars for years.
	The block rock changed our lives.
	So anyway, that's a different version of that song, actually.
	Was there ever a part one?
	Yes, I think there was.
	But anyway, he just said our band could be your life, and that's the name of this book by Michael Azerad.
	Scenes from the American Indie Underground, 1981 to 1991.
	It's got Black Flag, Miniman we just heard, Mission of Burma.
	That's when I reached for my revolver.
	Minor Threat, Hoosker Dew, Replacements, Sonic Youth, Butthole Surfers, Big Black, wow.
	Dinosaur Jr., Pergazi, Mud Honey.
	Beat happening.
	Pull up Beat Happening?
	I don't remember that.
	Now, the thing about Michael Azarat is he's a very floral writer, which is not my cup of tea usually.
	Oh, yeah.
	Here is the chapter on the Minuteman.
	It's like iambic pantameter.
	It takes you like a couple chapters to get into the zone, but once you get into it, it's cool.
	But don't be turned off by this writing.
	Although they were certainly capable of Byzantine riffing and spine-tingling run downs the run down the although they were certainly capable of Byzantine riffing and spine-tingling runs down the fretboard, the Minutemen's brilliance lay not in their songwriting or chops,
	but in their radical approach to their medium.
	They worked up a concept that encompassed the yin of popular populist bands such as Credence, Clearwater, Revival, and Van Halen, and the Yang of the intellectual wing of the English punk rock explosion.
	Daringly incorporating such genres as funk and jazz, the Minutemen struck a blow for originality, a perennially endangered quality in punk rock.
	Anyway, once you get used to his writing, that's a great book if you're interested in 80s hardcore.
	There they are.
	Mike Watt went on to start a band called Fire Hose when he finally got out of his depression.
	And they were good too.
	But very different.
	Very different vocals, at least.
	Let's have a fire hose play.
	Anyway, speaking of punk influence, I was going to make this the opening song.
	Nasty Boys, I've never heard of this band.
	They're a new band, Australian band, but they sound like a 70s punk band.
	Australia just keeps killing it with the fucking classic punk vibes.
	So they're saying left-wing thugs, but the left-wing in Australia is the right-wing.
	I don't reverse right thugs.
	I don't know about left-wing, right-wing.
	I know the Conservative Party is a Liberal Party.
	The Liberal Party is a Conservative Party, but I don't know if that also goes for left-wing, right-wing.
	True.
	You know funny how they're at the other end of the world and the drains, the sink drains the opposite direction, and then they also have right and left backwards.
	And they drive on the wrong side of the road.
	And they have Aboriginals.
	What's that got to do with it?
	That's just very backwards.
	Oh.
	I have a little announcement to make.
	I don't know how people got my personal email, but stop sending me shit there, okay?
	We're not friends.
	And what's worse, you're sending me shit 11 times in a row.
	And I'm aware of Tom McDonald.
	Please stop sending me his fucking videos like you just discovered him, okay?
	His face annoys me.
	I'm not a rap guy, especially modern rap.
	I get that we're on the same page politically.
	I don't fucking care.
	Okay?
	Stop sending me this or any Tom McDonald video.
	Please, I get it.
	I'm familiar with him.
	Thank you.
	Let's hear some of it.
	We won't stay home.
	Black lives matter.
	All lives matter.
	What's all this division here?
	It's modern segregation.
	Yeah, so you guys enjoy Tom McDonald on your own.
	Stop trying to make it my thing.
	Also, here's another thing that keeps coming up.
	Hey, Soyo and Kenny vs.
	Spenny.
	Yeah, I'm familiar with that.
	What was that, 25 years ago?
	What's the story behind that?
	What do you mean, what's the story behind that?
	It was a lottery I entered in Myanmar during a volcanic eruption, and then I was kidnapped by some Sandinistas there who flew me to do the Kenny vs.
	Spenny show, even though I had lost the competition.
	What are you talking about?
	I knew Kenny through whatever channels, Canadian funny men, and I agreed to appear in his show.
	It was a fun little afternoon.
	Fuck off.
	What amazing story do you think is behind this?
	He's a celebrity in Canada.
	I started Vice in Canada.
	You know, Canada's a tenth of the size of America.
	You're going to overlap a little bit.
	So that's fucking irritating for the 100th time.
	Another thing that keeps coming up that's pissing me off.
	Hey man, how are you building a new studio when you're moving?
	I've gotten that 100 times.
	Sometimes it's the same guy sending the same question, hoping it will be addressed.
	All right, allow me to address it.
	Moving your entire family is a big deal.
	That takes a long time.
	The kids have school.
	I don't think I'm going to pull it off by September.
	No, I'm definitely not going to pull it off by September.
	Okay?
	You have to go look at different places.
	You've got to sell your house.
	These things take time, as the punk band Conflict would say, on the album The Final Conflict.
	Building a studio, if you're not building a Tim Pool skate park in the basement, it's just three sets.
	SNL builds maybe 15 to 20 sets a week.
	Okay?
	So I might as well build a studio now.
	I'm not forging it out of rock.
	And then we can show some things there.
	Then when we move, we'll take this perfectly built studio and say to whoever's moving it, can you replicate this in Tennessee?
	Got it?
	So hopefully that ends those fucking four things.
	Tom McDonald, why are you building a studio?
	Kenny versus Spenny, three things.
	And then fourthly, stop sending it to my personal email, please.
	Hello, you've got a bass.
	All right, let's jump into a quick Antifa update.
	We don't need the bumper because it's only one piece.
	Remember those psychos we showed yesterday where the guy was like this?
	He was Joker face, basically, in a bad mood?
	Well, the beauty of the internet is you see a bunch of clowns one day and the next day you can see what they got up to.
	So this is them.
	That's the woman with the chair.
	We've got psycho with the blonde hair.
	And then now that Proud Boys are being arrested every time they appear, you've got random dudes with vests on and baseball bats standing up to them.
	Stop!
	I'll slit your thumb next time!
	I'll come back, motherfucker!
	Who is the woman in the wheelchair in control of this?
	That poor dog.
	I'll come back, motherfucker!
	Next time I'll come back, I'll come back!
	Good boy!
	What if he just clubbered her in the head, killed the dog, and then went to proceed to play baseball with the rest of their heads?
	Of course, it's Portland, and the mayor doesn't let the police do their job, so he was arrested for, I don't know what.
	Intimidating Antifa.
	He put the bat down and it stuck to the ground.
	No guns drawn.
	Are they wearing sneakers?
	Who the fuck are those guys?
	DEA?
	What a mess.
	So scroll down.
	That's what he had on him.
	Keep scrolling.
	And then knife-wielding Antifa protester Charles E. Stubbs.
	It's kind of a fancy name for such a derelict.
	Was charged with felonies today over the incident where he threatened to slash a man's throat and cut off his genitals.
	Stubbs was arrested previously at the Antifa Red House Autonomous Zone.
	Khaz.
	It's pronounced Khaz.
	I'm one of those journalists who says Nicaragua.
	What a fucking loser.
	I bet he has a kid somewhere he hasn't seen in five years.
	He's too busy fighting, fighting for freedom.
	It's time to bleach his hair.
	That's good.
	All right, let's jump to Proud Boys, and this should get a bumper because there's been some big news.
	Proud boys don't start fights.
	They finish.
	Proud of your boy.
	I'll make you proud of your boys.
	Proud boys, stand back and stand by.
	Stand back.
	So, the news yesterday is that the Canadian Proud Boys have disbanded.
	It's not worth going to prison.
	Are you hearing kind of a very slight echo?
	Check, check, check.
	Yeah.
	I think it's coming from the TV.
	Oh, you're right.
	I'll turn that down.
	Check, check, check, check, check, check.
	We got a new TV.
	So when I first heard it, it was actually my dad who called me and said, so the Proud Boys have disbanded.
	And understand, when you're labeled in terrorist organization, I mean, you can get arrested just for existing, which is such a violation of your rights, whether you're in Canada or America.
	It's called freedom to associate.
	You shouldn't be committing terrorist acts, obviously, but Proud Boys don't.
	The only incident that's ever happened in Canada was when those Halifax guys, who had signed up to put their lives on the line for their country, went up to a bunch of assholes who were burning the Canadian flag, and they said, what are you doing?
	That's the flag we're supposed to die for.
	And it's Canada Day.
	And they went, fuck you.
	You've just disrupted an Aboriginal ceremony.
	Meanwhile, there's fucking one Indian there.
	And one of the Prowboys was an Indian.
	And those guys all quit, were fired, punished, had to go back to boot camp, the few who stayed.
	And the Indian was gay, and he was, and when I say Indian, I mean feather knot dot.
	And he was third generation military man, naval officer.
	His dad was in World War II, his Indian dad.
	But they fucked that up, didn't they?
	Because the top brass, same with the police, cannot wait to throw the grunts under the bus.
	It doesn't say that.
	You're a liar.
	That's some of the worst people there are.
	In Quebec, we used to call them gérons, which means manager.
	But it was an insult because the kind of person who wants to be the manager of the retail store when it's the same salary is just someone who wants to fucking boss you around.
	And that's what the top brass at the police are.
	And that's what the top brass in the military are.
	Anyway, but I understood.
	I mean, in New York City, they threw everyone in prison.
	And so that particular chapter stopped having meetings.
	They would have dinner together occasionally, but they're like, it's not worth it.
	I'm not going to jail.
	I'm not losing my pension.
	All the cops quit.
	The government can shut you down.
	So I understood.
	And then I felt kind of sad, you know, that the press or the government has that power, especially because the guy who did it in Canada is a Sikh who's a terrorist.
	He was linked to the group who bombed flight whatever it was, that Air India flight that was attacked by Sikhs and went down.
	He was linked to them.
	He's not allowed in India.
	He's such a terrorist.
	But he doesn't like that the terrorist list has so many brown people on it.
	So he wanted to color it up or dilute it in this case.
	And he threw the Proud Boys on there with no evidence.
	They had January 6, which is a whole other ball of wax.
	That's not in Canada, dude.
	The KKK are in Canada.
	They commit terrorist acts.
	They're not declared a terrorist group.
	Anyway, so I called a bunch of Proud Boys in Canada.
	And I go, who made this dictum?
	Who decreed that Proud Boys were disbanded?
	And he goes, none of them knew.
	They go, nobody.
	There's some rumors about some guy in Alberta.
	We didn't even know there was a chapter there.
	This is bullshit.
	And it was announced on Telegram.
	And the guys I spoke to go, we don't go on Telegram anymore.
	It's been infiltrated by Nazis, feds, and journalists.
	So it's just not worth it.
	We totally avoid it.
	We have our own shit.
	Ah.
	So some random turd on Telegram makes a decree and the press just fucking runs with it.
	With no doubt, they don't even say like, it's alleged.
	Or someone on Telegram said they just go, they're disbanded.
	Now let's get Gavin deported and get the fucking American ones disbanded.
	What's 1.7?
	Yeah, look at this.
	Canadian anti-hate network.
	And the funny thing about this is they accept it as a fact and then they run with it and say, this is only the beginning, this thing we've accomplished.
	The dissolution of Proud Boys Canada doesn't mean they stop organizing.
	We need to focus more on movements than formal groups.
	It's important to recognize that dissolution doesn't mean they've abandoned their worldview.
	Oh, so now it's thought crimes, is it Canada Anti-Hate Network?
	Now we have to change their thinking.
	Former PB members can easily jump to another group or act as individuals.
	So if they can keep going to other groups, what's the solution?
	Murder?
	Kill them?
	Maybe some sort of brain cleansing?
	Maybe you could wash their brain of their dirty thoughts?
	They've announced they've dissolved, but that's not good enough.
	They keep saying it.
	Not one person has questioned this announcement.
	I didn't either at first until I went, wait, go back.
	Brian Lilly used to be my friend.
	Ten years ago, Canada elected a strong, stable, conservative majority government, as Stephen Harper called it all through the campaign.
	Voters rewarded Harper after two successful minorities.
	Given present circumstances in Canada, anyone missed this guy running the show?
	I can't tell if he's sarcastic or not.
	What's 1-8?
	Probably more people taking it as a fact.
	I just accept this to be true.
	That's the same one.
	1-8.
	1-7.
	I must have missed.
	This is 1-7.
	Oh, yeah.
	So that's what I meant to show the first time.
	Probably Canada was dissolved after being declared a domestic terrorist organization.
	Now that's Du Proboys America.
	Who is this, by the way?
	Midas Touch.
	I looked them up.
	600,000 followers.
	No one's heard of them ever.
	It's Three Brothers who started it like a year ago.
	I smell a scam.
	I smell bought followers and a PSYOP.
	This smells of Lincoln Project-like funded bullshit.
	Here's a weird one.
	Look at 1.9.
	This is This weird little homo who's been obsessed with Prowboys for a long time.
	The people who are obsessed with Prowboys aren't really obsessed with hate or justice or politics.
	It's gays who want revenge on the guys who bullied them in high school.
	Women, spinsters, who want revenge on the guys who won't put a ring on it and just fuck them as booty calls.
	And then beta males, who, just like the gays, want revenge on alpha males for making them feel weak.
	So check out this weird tweet.
	Proud Boys Canada, a far-right group added to the country's list of terrorist entities, has dissolved itself.
	Says who, Kyle?
	And then here's a weird sentence.
	The families include at least one child separated from his or her parent at age three and at least two women separated from their children in 2017.
	What?
	What are you talking?
	What?
	What are you talking about?
	What?
	So then I click on the link, hoping that someone's going to tell me about all these proud boys who are separated from their parents or families and all these women.
	Who are the women?
	Proud Boys Canada, far-right group added to the countries in February, announced that it dissolved itself.
	Okay, we just read that.
	The big picture.
	The group founded by Gavin McKinnis, a Canadian who lives in the U.S., insisted in a statement, we were never terrorists.
	Insisted in a statement, oh, the group insisted this.
	We were never terrorists or a white supremacy group.
	Its members are among dozens charged over the U.S. Capitol riot.
	Several took part in a poorly attended far-right protest last month that organized called a White Lives Mall.
	So I guess if you go deeper, he's going to tell you, go deeper.
	No, you've got to click on it, I assume.
	No.
	No?
	Okay.
	So maybe the second part is people who were arrested at the Capitol.
	Go back to that ridiculous tweet.
	The families include at least one child separated from his or her parent at age three and at least two women separated from their children at 2017.
	What are you talking about?
	Anyway, amateur hour at the Apollo.
	These journalists are not journalists anymore.
	They're just lazy snitches who don't have the language at their disposal.
	Here's a great example of that.
	I've just discovered this fucking loser.
	Not him.
	He's just a gay.
	20.
	Look at this beta male.
	I'm Ryan.
	Ryan J. Riley.
	Look at his face.
	Don't hurt me.
	Don't bully me, you jerks.
	Hey, I'm just me, just doing my best.
	I don't want any trouble.
	I don't want any lips.
	So this guy's, look at his write-up.
	He's at HuffPo, of course, Beta Mail Central.
	But he's currently focused on the Capital Attack Manhunt.
	And you just go through his Twitter feed, and it's all snitching.
	That guy was there.
	That guy went there.
	What about the riots, Ryan?
	J. Riley, RJR.
	What about the fucking storming of other government buildings by BLM and Antifa all throughout the year?
	Don't care.
	No, it's just this one.
	What does that one say that he retweeted?
	DOJ got all the Proud Boys telegram texts from Ethan Nordine's phone.
	The telegram texts, the telegrams have thousands and thousands of people on them who just, there's no proof that they're Proud Boys.
	It was an interesting hearing.
	Defense attorney, like, why is he so obsessed with Ethan Nordine's sins?
	Ethan Nordine, by the way, Rufio Panman, where we saw it was all bullshit.
	All of the evidence against him was bullshit.
	And one tiny example of that, a perfect example of it, was he had a fake passport to skip the country, where you go, that's like pretty high-level crime.
	That's like El Chapo-level shit.
	No, it was his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's, or sorry, his wife's ex-boyfriend's passport that happened to be sitting in a drawer somewhere.
	Didn't look anything like him.
	That's the kind of evidence against Ethan Nordine.
	Yet babyface pussylips is just consumed with catching all these people and moms.
	The January 6th riot was a meandering.
	It was dumb, but it was politically irrelevant.
	And to devote your life to it like some sad little snitch is something I hope one day dawns on you.
	I hope there's one day when you're a dad where you go, what kind of faggot shit was that?
	What was I doing?
	Anyway.
	You can't talk about debald, castrated men without talking about feminism.
	Feminism.
	Oh, that's a good one.
	Yes.
	Front page of the New York Post today, the $130 billion divorce.
	Bill and Melinda Gates have split.
	Seems kind of weird to split at that age, doesn't it?
	Like you want more pussy?
	Really?
	You don't strike me as a big pussymonger there, Bill.
	He's out on the prowl, ready for some tail.
	Bill, my advice to you would be fuck some fatties to get into the groove.
	Fuck some fours.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Wait, we got to go back.
	Sorry, Unturned Stone here.
	Go back to 20.
	Yeah, sorry, we got to read this letter.
	So Ryan J. Riley has found a letter from Senator Dick Durbin.
	That must be important, right?
	It's a senator.
	I have to read you this because it is amateur fucking hour.
	I write to a crest more information about deeply troubling reports suggesting that the FBI failed to use its sources in the Proud Boys to develop intelligence about the January 6th insurrection.
	The insurrection was not planned.
	It was a fucking stupid accident.
	If anyone had planned it, it was the DNC to make the Republicans look bad.
	But all of this evidence of oath keepers and Proud Boys planning to storm the Capitol is horseshit.
	Oh, but this proves that the FBI spoke to Proud Boys.
	Yeah, all the time.
	They were not FBI informants.
	They go, we're having a parade here.
	We don't want to get arrested.
	I assume this is cool.
	Some guys would talk to the FBI, not as informants, but just as Antif was doing this.
	This is the guy who threatened us.
	This is the one who came at us with a knife.
	There was no undercover shit.
	There's the weird shit with Enrique Tario way back when he was arrested.
	But as far as Proud Boys talking to FBI in a modern sense, yeah.
	Hi, FBI.
	Someone shot at my house yesterday.
	Hey, FBI, someone sent a credible death threat.
	Hey, FBI, I found a makeshift bomb by my car.
	That's how they would talk.
	That's their informing.
	And also, hey, FBI, we're going to have a rally here.
	We have a permit.
	I assume it'll be cool.
	In your recent appearance before the Senate, you testified, whose perpetrators included violent white supremacists, no evidence of that, and a large growing number of militia, violent extremists who associate with militias, such as the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers.
	So now Proud Boys are a white supremacist militia, according to this.
	Can you tell a difference between the Huffington Post and senators?
	They all sound the same to me.
	Like kids, like the CIA had yesterday, where she doesn't want to feel less than.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Trained in advance once they arrived at the Capitol and had an armed quick reaction force on standby to ferry weapons to the Capitol.
	What are you talking about?
	Prosecutors have produced evidence of coordination between the Oath Keepers and the Proud Boys, several of whose members have also been indicted for conspiracy.
	Yeah, because we have a fucked up retarded justice system that are almost as dumb as you, Ryan J. Riley and Dick Durbin.
	Despite clear evidence of these violent extremists coordinated in advance, nope.
	The FBI does not appear to have warned of political violence targeting January 6th.
	So the implication there is that the FBI knew it and they said, let's do it.
	And even then, the FBI's warning was limited to situational information report.
	You've characterized this wrong.
	Didn't the FBI, didn't the Secret Service shoot Ashley Babbitt?
	The FBI's, was that not good enough?
	I guess that's what he's saying here.
	Ryan Riley and Dick Durbin want more Ashley Babbitts.
	The FBI's failure to issue a formal intelligence bulletin, blah, blah, blah.
	Maybe this wasn't as good as I thought it was.
	What's the next page?
	I won't read the whole thing, but I appreciate your acknowledgement.
	The FBI has focused very hard and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	These reports raise further concern.
	Please address the following.
	One, given the FBI's apparent relationship with Proud Boys, sources, no, Proud Boy sources, why did the FBI fail to detect the threat that the Proud Boys and similar militia violent extremists posed to the Capitol on January 6th?
	Because there was no threat, because there was no plan.
	Michael Graves had a concert planned.
	They knew that there would be violent, stupid Antifa shit.
	They wanted to be able to relax and go to bars.
	They knew everything was shut down, so they planned to go to Virginia that afternoon.
	That's not someone who's planning a riot.
	So you're a retard.
	Two, one member of the Proud Boys has indicated in court filings that he regularly informed FBI personnel about Proud Boys' activities in Portland, Oregon to ask for advice on planned marches or demonstrations.
	What march routes to take, where to go, where not to go.
	Yeah.
	What's the problem here?
	Antifa riot and burn shit down.
	Proud boys would get permits and say, we're going to go from here to here.
	We don't want any trouble.
	We're not trying to get arrested.
	We're just trying to be patriotic.
	That's not working with the FBI to destroy the Capitol.
	Go back.
	I am glad I went back to this because of that.
	And that he had similar discussions with the FBI about Proud Boys' events in other cities.
	Did the FBI ask its Proud Boys sources about their plans for January 6th?
	If not, why not?
	I assume they didn't because there were no plans for January 6th.
	They're still clinging to this standback, standby thing.
	I noticed that all over Twitter.
	They were working for Trump.
	That's why they stormed it.
	They stormed the Capitol to stop the election.
	And Trump told them to.
	He said, stand back and stand by.
	He wasn't just trying to say stand down and forgot the verbiage.
	How many people believe that, do you think?
	Boom, these explosions of bullshit.
	Out of 100 people who are familiar with politics in the Capitol, how many of them believe that Trump said stand back and stand by and then said, unleash the hounds.
	And they unleashed a planned attack on January 6th?
	Ryan J. Reilly definitely does.
	Dick Durbin does.
	I would say, well, 50% of people think like me and think the Capitol was just a dumb accident.
	50% think it was an evil right-wing, blah, blah, blah.
	So out of those lefties, I would say 30% of the 50% thinks that it was all planned and Trump said, sick him.
	And this guy has devoted his life to apprehending all the old ladies and plumbers who were pissed off and dared to wander into the Capitol.
	All right, sorry.
	So we're back to feminism.
	Bill Gates.
	So she split.
	And I calculated, well, I wanted to calculate exactly how much she made per fuck.
	Because she's got half of 130B.
	I actually think it's 146B.
	So I worked out, I dug up the richest woman in the world, and I looked up how much they got after the divorce, and then back calculated how many fucks they've had.
	Anyway, let me explain.
	Hey guys, let's talk about the five richest women in the world, hardworking women, came up with business ideas, hustled, said, I'm not having kids, and invented something or created an industry.
	Just kidding.
	They're all wives, daughters, granddaughters of rich guys.
	That's how women make money.
	They lie on their backs and think of England.
	So if you want to be rich, fuck a rich guy or have a rich dad.
	The great thing about having a rich dad, of course, is you don't have to fuck him.
	So I've calculated here how much money these women have made per fuck.
	Now, I'm only doing five because I'm bad at math, but I checked the top ten.
	They're all the same.
	To find an independently wealthy woman, I guess you got like Oprah.
	How much is she worth?
	Can you pull that up?
	I would argue that she made all her money all by herself.
	She's an independently wealthy woman.
	She's probably worth $3.5 billion.
	3.5.
	I got that on me.
	Anyway, if you want the real numbers, you got to suck Nerdcock.
	But before I get into how much, I have to show you my tabulations here.
	So pre-marriage fucks don't count.
	Those are fuck vestiments, right?
	I'd say the first five years is 2.5 times a week, right?
	Things are rolling.
	You don't have kids yet.
	So that's 650 right there.
	Then from five to 10 years, the kids are around.
	So it's going to go down to once a week.
	They're sleeping in the bed and stuff.
	So those five years only get 260, half the fucks.
	And then from 10 years to 20 years, the kids are around where the idea of your 10-year-old walking in and seeing you face fuck your wife is not worth it.
	You'd rather just not do it.
	They have to be out of the house.
	The door is locked.
	So now we're down to once a month.
	And this isn't me.
	I'm doing quite well.
	I've got my hump day Wednesdays.
	But average couples, I'm going to go with 120.
	I did a bit of research for this.
	And so once a month for those 10 years.
	And then that makes a total for the first 20 years, 1,030.
	I've noticed all of these couples seem to get divorced after 20 years.
	So I guess women only want to be fucked by you 1,000 times.
	Or maybe menopause comes in and they lose their libido and they're sort of lying underneath this guy going, I'm rich.
	What am I doing here?
	So then I go after the 20-year mark.
	And a lot of these marriages were going bad.
	So I'm only going to give you twice a year after that.
	Again, that's not really normal.
	That's couples that are coming to a close, which these did.
	All right.
	So are you ready?
	Let's start with the fifth richest woman in the world, pretty new to this incredible wealth.
	It is the wife of Jeff Bezos, Mackenzie Bezos.
	And she's at a mere $43 billion.
	I think she looks pretty good.
	So she was married 25 years, right?
	And remember, after 20, the numbers go way down.
	So it's $1,030 for the first 20.
	And then for the last five, it's barely more than that.
	So that brings us to 1,040 fucks, which means every time Mackenzie got on all fours and allowed herself to be drilled by that asymmetrical-eyed bald freak of a turtle, she was getting $41 million per fuck.
	$41,346,153 for every single lay.
	Worth it!
	Number four is the daughter of Sam Walton.
	Now, you remember Sam Walton?
	He was the guy who decided to go door-to-door selling stupid shit.
	Oh, my collar went up.
	I think meals and stuff, encyclopedias, whatever, junk.
	He was a door-to-door salesman, and he parlayed that into a giant, monolithic, small business-eating tractor-trailer, steamroller machine, backhoe, that some argue destroyed America's economy in many ways.
	It definitely strangled a lot of entrepreneurs, but it is cool buying a chainsaw at 3 in the morning.
	So there's two sides to every story, as Billy Bragg would say.
	But Alice Walton was a daughter, went to private schools her whole life, had a great life.
	And the great thing about Alice Walton is she never had to fuck her dad.
	So $62 billion, all gravy.
	Nice deal.
	Number three, the wife of David Koch, the Koch brothers.
	Sometimes I wonder if it's pronounced cock, and they just said, let's just say it's pronounced Coke from now on.
	And everyone will have to say that.
	And then if they say cock, then they look like assholes.
	They look like perverts.
	I dated a girl in high school called Stephanie Alcock was her name.
	And she was punk.
	And we had sex once at a bush bash.
	The only way to have fun in Kanada, Ontario was to walk 45 minutes out into the forest where the cops are too lazy to go.
	And then you'd have a bonfire.
	It was really fun.
	But don't stay too late because then it's all metalheads and they want to fight because they're drunk.
	And that's bad news.
	Especially this black kid named Sheldon.
	Anyway, I was having sex with her and it was going in between her legs into the moss of a rock.
	And when we were done, I guess I literally FTW'd.
	I fucked the world.
	When we were done, I had twigs in my foreskin.
	And she found out that I put on a list of the girls I've had sex with, which wasn't very big back then.
	It's since become the Encyclopedia Britannica.
	But she goes, I went off that list now.
	Why?
	You never fucked me.
	Yeah, but you gave me permission.
	It doesn't matter.
	You never fucked me.
	So I put the earth on that list.
	And I did.
	Anyway, Julia Koch, very attractive.
	She didn't really get divorced.
	So I wasn't hard on her numbers post-20 years.
	She was married for 23 years.
	Her husband, her old-ass husband, died of old age.
	But she was the wife of David Koch.
	So normally I would give 23 years 1,036 fucks.
	But her marriage was going well.
	And they got along splendidly.
	So I'm going to give them 2,000 fucks for the 23 years.
	And that ends up being, I told you the average already was around 56 million, didn't I?
	So you can kind of guess where this is going.
	$60 million.
	$60.5 million.
	$60,521,235 per fuck.
	Amazing deal.
	Great deal, Julia.
	Number two, we have a new one as of today.
	Bill Gates.
	The wife of Bill Gates.
	Melinda Gates.
	She's an ugly man, let alone woman.
	Her kids are pretty attractive, so I assume that's plastic surgery.
	But doesn't that look like an okay guy to hang out with?
	That looks like sort of like when you see Megan the Stallion's dad.
	I'll pull up that picture in a second.
	I mean, mom.
	You look at Megan the Stallion's mom and you're like, you seem like a cool dude.
	I'd like to grab a beer with you.
	You also seem like you're one of the best players in the NFL.
	But when Linda Gates, he seems like a lonely dude at the bar who's retired.
	His wife left him.
	And he's like, I can't get a date.
	No one's interested.
	And you're like, well, it sucks, Bill.
	Meanwhile, you're thinking, yeah, because you're fucking ugly, dude.
	Is that the mom?
	Yeah.
	I've seen even harsher pictures than that where she's just a very handsome, cool dude.
	So anyway, married 27 years.
	We're going to assume the last seven years suck, so they're not getting a lot.
	They're going back to my average of twice a year.
	So that's 1,044 fucks, Melinda Gates and Bill Gates fucked 1,044 times.
	Her inheritance, I'm just splitting his $146 billion in half because their foundation and their stocks, it's complicated.
	So let's assume it's going to be about $73 billion.
	That ends up being $69, $69.9 million per fuck.
	Good deal.
	You know what?
	I'm changing my copy here.
	Great deal.
	$69,923,371 every time she lay under that strange little bird nerd.
	He crawled on top of her with her skinny legs and pumped away.
	And she thought, this sucks.
	This is unpleasant, but it's worth $69 million to me.
	And finally, this woman is in everything.
	She is the granddaughter of Eugene Schuler, who started L'Oréal, the makeup company.
	Women are stupid when it comes to makeup and stuff.
	And it's ironic that all these men get rich because in her case, she got rich off of women's vanity.
	Look at her weird shoes.
	She's the richest woman in the world.
	Can you have some heels on?
	You represent France.
	They're like weird skechers or something.
	They look like those sneakers that you can wear on a job site because they're steel-toed.
	Are you pulling them out?
	You crop them, I guess.
	Never crop shoes, dude.
	They're the most important part of a look.
	These look like OSHA shoes.
	You can wear these when you're inspecting restaurants.
	You can wear these to the post office.
	What are those things?
	And you're doing a presentation.
	You could have your stilettos on, walk out, sit on the stool, and then go put your fucking orthopedic shoes on after the thing.
	Anyway, she doesn't have to do that because she's worth $82 billion.
	That's pretty good.
	A trillion is $1,000 billion, so no one's a trillionaire, but she's almost worth $100 bill.
	How do you spend that?
	The interest alone.
	And that's the problem, too, with a lot of these women.
	You'll see the data and then you'll look it up and it's gone up $10 billion.
	Because once you reach a sort of critical mass of billions, the interest, the investments, they just start multiplying.
	But anyway, her grandfather created L'Oreal, the makeup company.
	A bunch of women spent tons of money on that stupid bullshit.
	It's all exactly the same, whether it's $100 or $10.
	And she never fucked her grandfather once.
	So that is 100% gravy.
	Congratulations, Francois.
	Vouséde Le Grande Gagnon.
	Hello.
	Fuck a billionaire.
	It's worth it.
	If you get a ring on it.
	I sent you a picture of the picture I was thinking of, Megan thee Stallion.
	That's Megan Thee Stallion's mom.
	Doesn't she look like a cool guy to hang out with and play football with?
	A lot of testosterone going on there.
	Maybe she died from a concussion in the NFL.
	Speaking of feminism, I've noticed this trend, especially in Britain, where women are not having kids to save the planet.
	Which is great.
	Thank you for doing that.
	2-2.
	It's quality, not quantity, my dear.
	Here's the thing about this dumb rationale where I'm going to save the planet by not having kids.
	That's like recycling your coffee cup when your neighbor is throwing toxic waste out the window.
	China, the third world, Central America, Middle East, 7 billion people going fucking nuts and you're going to take one or two out of the equation?
	Why don't you go to the beach, wash one grain of sand, and then put it back and go, I just cleaned up the beach.
	I'm doing my part.
	Every little bit counts.
	No, every little bit doesn't count.
	And what if you have a kid who becomes an environmentalist activist and saves the world and helps curb the population in Africa and China and the Middle East to the tune of billions?
	Isn't that a much bigger impact?
	You numbskulls?
	Isn't that a great example of the deaths of mass?
	This could be good because all of the women that would participate in this are pro-choice lefties.
	So the only women birthing children would be familiar with that argument.
	It's a form of right-wing eugenics.
	Okay.
	This could also just be a fad.
	I mean, who isn't a lefty when they're a 29-year-old girl?
	True.
	But scroll down.
	No, they have pictures of them, I think.
	Go down more.
	There.
	She's not doing it.
	She's saving the planet.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Sailor Jack.
	Oh, that's just one.
	Okay.
	Wait, there's a video there.
	224.
	Maybe it's 2.
	Yeah, it's 2-3.
	Go to the next one, 2-3.
	And if you jump to 2-2-4, I don't think she's aware how incredibly sad this is.
	Look at her.
	They all seem to be quite ugly.
	I don't think it's selfish.
	He was desperate to have his own.
	He kind of assumed that I would change my mind because we were together and we were in love.
	He would try and convince me that I did want to have children with him, and he'd tell me he'd look so sexy pregnant.
	The fact was, I didn't want to have kids, his or anyone else's, and if he wanted to have children, he'd have to find another woman, which is what he did.
	I guess that it's quite lucky that I have never been broody because it means I don't have I don't feel that I'm making a sacrifice.
	However, if I were to have that biological clock kicking in that everyone tells me is going to happen, I would now say no.
	Even if I did become broody, now I would make a conscious decision not to have children because of that reason.
	I don't want to contribute to a global population.
	I don't want to add two to seven billion.
	Often project their own lifestyles onto you or their life choices or whatever.
	If we're talking about fucks for Melinda Gates, then yes, giving up a fuck is giving up about $60 million.
	I understand that.
	But one out of $7 billion, two, three out of seven billion, it's statistically irrelevant.
	Let me say it again.
	Statistically irrelevant.
	And then, of course, there's my horrible Western chauvinism that says that Western babies are of more value than some piece of trash in Bangladesh that lives in the garbage, literally lives in the garbage.
	Yes, but we consume more.
	No, not really.
	When you look at the way China pollutes, their population does a lot more damage than ours.
	And you're not going to have five or six kids.
	You might have one, you old bag.
	Anyway, I thought it was interesting that women who have trashed their ovaries and are starting to regret it, they look to women such as Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman for advice.
	And you go, Sarah's miserable.
	She looks over at her sister in Israel who has like six kids, six adorable angels, and she just gets getting older and uglier and less relevant and worser at politics.
	And so they call her and they go, I fucked up just like you.
	What should I do?
	Hi, Sarah.
	My name is Rachel.
	I just wanted to ask a bit of advice.
	I'm turning 40 at the end of next year, but I can already feel something brewing like that at best there's going to be a bit of a meltdown and at worst is going to be some kind of horrific, full-blown midlife crisis.
	And it's the first time I've ever really given age any consideration because, you know, I know age is just a number and all that stuff.
	But 40 feels like a big one and it kind of feels like a scary next stage of like the second half of your life, I suppose.
	Well, it is the second half of your life.
	But I just want to do it in a good way.
	I don't want to be rubbish about this.
	And I was wondering how you did it.
	Did turning 40 bother you?
	And how do you just go into your 40s and do it in a great way?
	That's what I want to know.
	Thank you.
	By the way.
	I think when I turn 40.
	She keeps getting dumped.
	She keeps blowing relationships.
	She keeps getting used and abused and thrown out the back door.
	Sarah?
	Yeah, no ring on it.
	I thought she was married.
	Oh, wow.
	No, she's just.
	Oh, shit.
	She gets eaten up, chewed up, and swallowed, and shat out onto the street.
	But yeah, how can I live a life like yours where men just use me for sex and career?
	It's good for your career to have dated Sarah Silverman for a bit.
	You get the paps out there.
	People know your name.
	Bye.
	That's what I want to know.
	Thank you.
	I think when I turned 40, I remember in therapy deciding, like, I need to relearn it.
	Like, I needed to start to kind of reframe how I thought about age.
	Or I was going to be doomed to be sad instead of happy, you know?
	One way I reframed it is this.
	I realized, I'm the youngest I'm ever going to be.
	That's it.
	I'm the youngest.
	You're the youngest you're ever going to be again.
	I heard her say this about her tits once.
	She said, they're the lowest they've ever been and the highest they're ever going to get.
	I'm the youngest I'm ever going to be.
	Okay.
	So you're young then.
	Liking it.
	You know, I know that in five years, you know, I'll be lamenting about how good I look to now.
	That's no way to live.
	You know, if you feel shitty about yourself now, there's no way you're going to look at a picture of yourself now in 10 years.
	We know where she's going with this.
	Isn't this interesting, though?
	Because women are really good.
	Holy shit, that's a hot picture of her.
	Zoikes.
	But that's also the paparazzi and photographers and lighting and all that shit.
	We've said this a million times.
	Women are great at optimism, the glass being half full.
	And so you give them a shitty situation like your ovaries are dried up, you didn't get married, men just use you as a booty call.
	And you go, I have to reframe how I think about things.
	Men are much more prudent and rational, and they go, this sucks.
	I'm fucking bald.
	Shit.
	I was a six, now I'm a five.
	Now, the beauty of being a mommy is your sweet angels think that you're the most beautiful woman in the world for the rest of your life.
	And your husband sticks by you.
	It's cheaper to keep her.
	He can't dump you on a whim like boyfriends can, especially when no kids are involved.
	Just say, I'm not really feeling this anymore.
	Bye.
	Like Louis C.K. says, you don't have kids, you're not married.
	You could die.
	Nobody would care.
	And that's the rough thing about being single and old when you're a man, but it's devastating when you're a woman.
	Ladies, get a ring on it.
	If you're in your 20s and you're dating a comedian, dump him.
	If you're dating a musician, dump him.
	DJ, photographer, dump, dump, dump.
	Pro-BMXer, pro-skateboarder, dumpity, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump.
	Men are only as loyal as their opportunities.
	And if someone's begging to suck their dicks 24-hour a day, like Johnny Knoxville or who's the guy, Derek Jeter or whatever, eventually they're going to break down and be like, okay, you can suck it.
	Next thing you know, Kanye's cheating on fucking Kim and he's out the door.
	So marry someone who is ambitious.
	They don't have to be rich.
	You don't need $70 million of fuck.
	But marry someone who has some sort of a drive and make sure you have a deadline for this.
	And by 30, you better have one of these and start making babies.
	Or you're going to be sitting there reframing how you think about happiness, which I have to hand it to women.
	They are very good at.
	A kid shows me a shitty drawing of a horse.
	I go, that doesn't look like a horse.
	A mommy sees a horse.
	It looks like the black stallion.
	That's the most beautiful horse I've ever seen.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	And what have we done to women?
	We've turned them into serial aborters who are cunts and talk to authority like...
	Talk to men in general like they've been bad boys.
	Check out the way this woman is talking to a cop.
	Imagine being a cop and not slapping everyone you met right in the fucking face.
	Matt Walsh phrased it best.
	This blabbering asshole.
	That's exactly what she is.
	Look at this shit.
	I don't know.
	I wish they didn't blur her face.
	Yes, you are, ma'am.
	Good morning.
	Which is, and the speed limit is 40, and I was going 38, so why are you harassing me?
	You're correct.
	I pulled over because...
	Because you're a murderer.
	Yes, I started to record because you can't be on your cell phone while you're driving.
	You can't record your recording.
	You can't use your cell phone while you're.
	You have your driver's license?
	It's at my apartment.
	What you're doing.
	It's at my home.
	I'm just taking my sentences.
	Do you have your driver's license?
	I mistakenly left it at home.
	Do you have a picture of your driver's license?
	Yes, I do.
	And can you call your supervisor, please?
	I'm already dead is on his way.
	Okay.
	And so you're giving me a cell phone ticket?
	Is that why you're harassing me?
	Not harassment.
	I am enforcing the law.
	I have a right to even record the police when they're harassing me.
	By all means, but you can't do it while you're driving.
	I wasn't texting or none of that.
	You scared me and made me think you were going to murder me.
	Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way.
	Well, that's not just a feeling.
	You're a murderer.
	Okay.
	Can you zoom in on that for me, Jeff?
	Sure.
	Measure's like, you're right.
	Yeah.
	Got me.
	You know, you're right.
	Thank you.
	And I'm perfectly legal, and I'm a teacher.
	So there.
	Just, cop, if you are going to murder someone in your career, you're part of that 0.0001% that is evil and insane, I think this might be your time.
	This is the one.
	This is the one.
	If you're going to spin the roulette wheel, I don't think you're going to get better than this as far as someone to kill.
	You're a murderer.
	I got that.
	What's your last name?
	I can't see that there.
	Well, here you go, man.
	Stop shaking.
	Zoom in on that for me.
	No, because you're scaring me.
	You're threatening to kill me and my son.
	Can you give me a turn?
	Oh, my God.
	And her son's in the fucking car?
	Threatening to kill me and my son.
	That's the type of behavior she's exhibiting in front of a child.
	Does she really believe this?
	Or is it just like, you know, like when people call me a Nazi, I don't think they really think I am.
	They just know it's an effective insult.
	So they say Zeke Eil and Heil Hitler and stuff.
	Does she really believe that?
	Is she exaggerating?
	Are all cops murderers?
	Is that the way you talk if someone was going to murder you?
	Maybe she's hoping she'll get away with it.
	She's like, listen, listen, I'm actually a good guy.
	I'm not a murderer.
	Or maybe that's going to get her out of it.
	I'll tell you what, you keep smiling here on camera.
	Steve, you're trying to threaten to kill me.
	I'm not smiling.
	You're the one who's crying.
	Hold that still.
	I can't see that.
	Is this your car?
	Yes, it is.
	And you're trying to say I stole my own car because you're jealous?
	Yeah.
	How about you jealous?
	Be away from me, bro.
	Because you're.
	You're jealous.
	For him being a Mexican racist.
	What is that name?
	Gas.
	Don't the citation, ma'am.
	Here you go, Mexican racist.
	Thank you.
	Amazing.
	It'd be funny if that was his actual name.
	You're always going to be a Mexican.
	You'll never be white.
	You know that, right?
	What?
	You'll never be white.
	Which is what you really want to be.
	There you go, Jack.
	Have a good day.
	You want to be white, so dad.
	Great lesson for the boy in the car.
	That's good.
	Good teaching.
	And what are they doing with their newfound power?
	Is they are aborting babies.
	Thank God we freed women.
	This is a strange case.
	It's not getting a lot of attention.
	Remember the whole story about Planned Parenthood selling body parts?
	Well, this is the guy who exposed it, David DeLayden.
	And he is facing, I don't know, seven major felonies.
	Nine felony charges.
	Kamala Harris is pushing hard against this guy because he dared to question Planned Parenthood.
	Which they fuck.
	Why do they love Planned Parenthood?
	Is it because they abort so many blacks and they want to control the population?
	That's what the globalists like, right?
	So that's why they were supporting those feminists who said they're not going to have babies, and that's why they love Planned Parenthood.
	So if you're going to give out some money, I would suggest it's not hard to find these charities.
	I've got the last three links are all different charities that are for his fines and his lawyer fees.
	I mean, he could be facing life in prison.
	Nine felonies is a fucking shit ton.
	Journalism?
	Yeah, for doing journalism.
	That's his crime.
	That's Biden's VP devoted to punishing people who expose murders.
	Anyway, let's jump over to my pet Biden.
	Shall we?
	We've got the funniest photo of all time to show you.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	A monster of a president.
	He's big and food.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	But we got to come up with a solution here.
	Is there like a low setting that won't...
	No, but in the new studio, I bet we can't get it below like 68.
	So maybe I could have a little like mini fridge thing blasting on my ass.
	You soak your feet in some ice water?
	That'd be nice.
	Weird.
	Imagine every show and you just announce like 50 shows in.
	You're like, I've been soaking my feet the whole time.
	I'm worried about the gym too.
	Last summer, I spent all this money on like cold things that go around your neck.
	Those are cool.
	They don't work.
	You wet them and then you snap it.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I've got a bunch of those.
	I would go to Home Depot, get a big bucket, then go to the grocery store, put ice in it, and have a giant bucket of water I could dip my head in.
	That helped.
	But then you're getting water everywhere.
	People are mad at you.
	And no one else seems to care.
	Not just the Mexicans, but like the Irish guys and the Italians.
	They're all drenched in sweat.
	Just going, that's the way it is.
	Can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
	I can't stand the heat.
	Where's the exit?
	So anyway, funniest photo of all time has been released last night.
	It is Joe Biden meeting the Carters in their home.
	And they have been shrinking since Jimmy Carter was president.
	They are almost at zero height.
	This will keep going.
	Within the next four years, they will cease to exist.
	They will become particles.
	And they will be accidentally vacuumed up by the maid.
	Are those special chairs?
	Like, I've kneeled next to a chair before.
	It never looks like I could fit it in my pocket.
	What is she?
	She's a midget.
	And by the way, Biden wears masks when he's on Zoom calls because he's scared of digital COVID.
	Yet he's next to someone who appears to be 116, I would say, roughly, who's dying of shrinkism.
	And no masks.
	As Roberto Durand would say, no masks.
	Look at her.
	We got to have that printed out, right?
	This looks like the Willy Wonka room where everything starts shrinking.
	Well, there is a midget village in America where they all live.
	Wait a second.
	That's like near where I used to live.
	Or there was one.
	Yeah, there was a little...
	In Pennsylvania?
	No, it was in New York.
	I thought it was more.
	In Valesgate, New York, they had another one.
	I thought it was like near Vegas.
	And all the roads are small.
	Well, I guess the roads would be normal size, but like all the homes are the same size, little doorways, little kitchens.
	See, Midget Colony, is that going to come up?
	Midgetville?
	Littlesville?
	Well, yeah, you can't say Midget anymore.
	According to Hank, Representative Hank from Georgia, it's the M word.
	Huntington Beach Midget Colony.
	Alarmingly tiny and it looks ridiculous.
	See, now this is bugging me, this little wrinkle at the back.
	Huntington Beach Midget colony is not a.
	I heard the same with Jeb Bush.
	I heard his wife can't speak English, and she's such a retarded little Mexican midget that he avoids showing her to anyone.
	This is also interesting in the My Pet Biden news.
	I found a computer that speaks Biden better than I do.
	I thought I was a pretty good translator.
	But this computer does a much better job than me.
	Determined as Murphy and others are to get this done.
	I'm absolutely determined as many others are to get this done.
	Barack and I think it's a right for people to have adaptive care.
	Bark and I think it's a right for people to have better health care.
	Oh.
	I'll lead an effective strategy to mobilize true international depressure.
	I'll lead an effective strategy to mobilize true international pressure.
	I'm absolutely determined as Murphy and Rothers are to get this done.
	I'm absolutely determined as many others are to get this done.
	Murphy and Ruthers are.
	Go to 34 here.
	You know what I would love to get?
	If I could get a time machine, I'd love to bring 50-year-old Joe Biden, 45-year-old Joe Biden, and say, check it out.
	This is you as president.
	This is how you fucking talk, dude.
	He would just go, oh my God.
	This is going to be a t-shirt.
	And so, you know, if you think about it, when we were, when I was vice president with Barack, he allowed me to put together a budget for Amtrak.
	Gotcha.
	And it had money for high-speed rail at 200 miles an hour.
	Gotcha.
	From Charlotte.
	Another line going from in Florida down to Tampa.
	Another line.
	If we had moved, Gov, we'd have that tunnel fixed in New York now.
	I almost understand that.
	I think I'm getting as good as that computer.
	So he forgot the roots of the high-speed train.
	If he'd been allowed to do that, he would have fixed some sort of tunnel involving the trains.
	Not Lincoln tunnel.
	I guess we have a tunnel the trains go through that's in bad condition that he would have fixed by now.
	Okay, well, you're president.
	Fix it now, bitch.
	And then here's a very disturbing video that the Biden administration is trying to take down of him kissing his grandson, which we're all four.
	Except not where you put your hand over his fucking mouth.
	This is so disturbing.
	Look at that.
	Way too long.
	Also.
	That was four kisses.
	The first one was how many seconds?
	Unless that's a funeral and he's never going to see him again?
	Maybe that's okay.
	What the fuck?
	Look at that hand like this.
	How would that ever occur to you?
	Sure, you kiss a kid on the hair or something or forehead, but the hand over the mouth?
	Then I started thinking, did his son kill himself?
	And did he have his wife killed?
	But his son had brain cancer.
	That's kind of hard to fake.
	And his wife, just like D-Boone, got clipped with a tractor trailer.
	So it is kind of weird that he married Jill, the babysitter.
	But yeah, that's.
	I stopped that in the middle of the show because it's so unnerving that you feel kind of after.
	Let's jump to COVID.
	Montreal is lit.
	My hometown is lit.
	Montreal is not really known as political.
	It's obviously got the language debate and the FLQ, the Front de Lébération de Québec in the 70s.
	They were part of the terrorism there attacking the English.
	But modern Montreal, separatism isn't a big deal anymore.
	And it's a party town.
	It's where people chill out.
	There's no money there.
	We had to go on welfare to start vice there.
	But if there's one thing they fucking care about, it's chilling out.
	And they're shutting that down.
	So, you know, if you want a homeless man to lose his shit, take away his vodka.
	If you want a Montrealer to lose his shit, take away his park where he can play the bongos and smoke weed.
	We have a thing called Les Tam Tams in Montreal every Sunday.
	And it's like 700 people playing the drums and hippies dancing around.
	We would just go there to laugh our fucking heads off.
	But a lot of them went there.
	Like that's every Sunday.
	It's at least that busy.
	Boy, that picture takes me back.
	But check out this crowd.
	So there's some controversy about the numbers, but most people are saying at least 60,000.
	Who knew that Montreal would be leading the fight against COVID fascism?
	Scroll down?
	At least 1,000 people?
	Wow, that's false.
	French people are not super smart, I'm afraid.
	Keep going.
	Some old guy was there.
	Yeah.
	Here's an interesting thing.
	The state can control the COVID numbers by making the test more sensitive.
	We've heard talk of just viewpost.
	Stop dancing around.
	The CDC pretend that ramping up PCR tests to 40 cycles was fine in 2020 during the Trump administration.
	That fakery yielded 85% false positives in order to create a panic.
	Now the CDC says PCR tests should be set at 30 for the Biden administration.
	The CDC is totally corrupt.
	Obviously, the more sensitive you make the test, the more positives you have.
	So they go, okay, well, how many people are dying?
	And then they start lumping everything into COVID tests.
	Now, we discussed this a couple weeks ago where we said it's just, it's been going up one, what, 8.8 per thousand every year.
	8.8 people per thousand die in America.
	And these past couple years don't seem any different.
	8.7.
	Look at that.
	So the number of deaths was steadily, wait a minute.
	It's been steadily going up since 2010.
	And I think that's obesity.
	But that part, if you go from 2010 till now, it's been a steady upwards rate.
	This chart says nothing about COVID and says everything about obesity.
	And then so you look at this other thing, what is it, 3.9?
	Where they say, okay, let's look at total deaths because it should be drastically more these past year and a half, right?
	Data is provided through the 48th week of 2020.
	So far this year, the CDC reports that 2.8 million people have died.
	Pretty darn normal number in a country of 331 million.
	At the same point in 2018, the number was 2.6 million, and in 2019, it was 2.61 million.
	The number of deaths to this point in 2020 is about 260,000 greater than either of the past two years.
	Now, that sounds bad, but 260,000 more than usual, as we saw in the previous graph, barely registers.
	And it's nothing compared to obesity.
	And then if you go to 40, we see that it's all olds and fats.
	I like this guy, Wilford Riley, but some of these dudes, these older conservative dudes, they'll post some girl, like some 25-year-old girl in a bikini or some girl going, I haven't been this horny since I was 18.
	And you're like, you're a grown man.
	I kind of understand occasionally being a simp and lurching, but to retweet it, like, look how hot she looks in a bikini.
	She's 28 years old.
	Doesn't look a day past 18.
	But go back to that chart.
	Number of coronavirus disease deaths in the U.S. Now, again, we're suspect on how much that is, but look at 85 years and older.
	In other words, on their way out.
	75 to 84 years.
	I'd also love to see obesity in this.
	And look at 0 to 17.
	258 out of 331 million people, totally irrelevant number.
	Yet we have little kids in every kindergarten masked up.
	Something is not right.
	Something does not add up here.
	And I'll tell you what they're going to do the next election.
	We're going to have a mysterious resurgence of this in 2024.
	And the only way we could have an election is mail-in ballots.
	All right.
	Let's leap over to the mail bag, shall we?
	What if you killed yourself and you said one of the reasons was that you don't have a dad and a big part of it was you being made fun of in this song?
	I don't know what the point of that would be.
	to go out like a weak fag.
	Well, the good news is your family is inept and they wouldn't know how to sue me.
	Oh, it would be a suing type of thing.
	Yeah.
	Oh, they could sue.
	This is from Preston Brooks.
	Motherfucker fighting with his girlfriend because she made an OnlyFans account.
	What do you guys want to talk about?
	Please, you go to the house.
	You broke up with me.
	Because you made an OnlyFans account and I told you not to.
	Okay, but you're going to pay no bills, bro.
	Get out of here.
	Don't have OnlyFans accounts, girls.
	It's prostitution.
	Can't tell if that's real or not.
	I know everyone here has seen this, but this has to be a good drop in there somewhere.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, come on.
	That's old as the hills.
	Pull it up.
	Come on, guys.
	Maybe he's not gay because his blazer is lighter than his slacks.
	This is from Dave.
	Gavin, I was looking into the shootings at Kent State in 1970 since the media loves to parade it around as one of the worst atrocities ever committed by our government.
	I found some interesting things.
	At first, I thought the National Guard shot them just because they're a bunch of violent communists burning down buildings and attacking police like Antifa.
	But then I discovered this guy, Terry Norman.
	He was one of the students throwing rocks at the cops and also happened to be an FBI informant who was the only person other than the National Guard who had a firearm on the scene.
	Forensic analysis showed his gun had been fired and he even said he had fired it and then later recanted.
	The FBI lied to the public and claimed they had no relationship with him.
	I think this asshole fired the first shot and spooked the guard into returning fire.
	Hmm.
	That's a good theory.
	Love it.
	Hey, fellas, because you didn't like my last audio drop, here is a new one.
	Okay, why go back to him?
	Oldest fucking clip in the universe.
	We leave it on the board.
	And we already have it, so you're fired.
	We're never reading your letters again, Jeff.
	Hey, I was thinking today of the actions taken to mitigate STDs and those taken to stop the spread of COVID.
	We never asked gays to stop having butt sex.
	We never asked girls to stop slutting around.
	Even during COVID, we've not been asked to stop having sex with people who aren't living with us.
	Just that we wear masks and try positions that wouldn't result in us breathing in each other's face.
	It seems our priorities are based on coming.
	Hey, Gavin Rye got to check out this video of this liberal bitch.
	She's back.
	She's black.
	And if it was a white person, it would be way more viral.
	And of course, he's sending us the car video we just showed.
	Sir, are you not watching the show?
	If you're not watching the show on a time machine?
	Come on, man.
	Hey, Gav Bitch and Rycunt.
	Monday night I was watching free speech podcasts on streetcars.
	The next morning I went back to finish the show on the website.
	It's inaccessible.
	First time mailer, long time listener.
	By the way, Gavin, there are anime and cartoons that are meant for adults.
	Stop being so cynical.
	Stop watching fucking anime and cartoons, you fucking loser.
	So that was today at 1.24 p.m.
	Siteworks for me.
	Monday night, Street Carnage.
	Oh, who gives a fuck about Street Carnage?
	I believe the final post is Street Carnage is Dead.
	Not a high priority here.
	You need to check out Tim Robinson's other sketch comedy piece on Netflix.
	It's called The Characters.
	Yes, we're familiar with that.
	We've discussed that.
	Please stop sending me that.
	Gather and Ryan, you asked who watches your show.
	I'm a 36-year-old female physician.
	Dude, I think our viewers are mostly female.
	I don't know about mostly, but there's a lot.
	It's definitely half.
	Out of the people who have told me that they watch the show, the majority have been female.
	Homeboys get their like.
	Get it.
	I've been a fan since you appeared on Rebel Media.
	I mistakenly introduced my husband and 77-year-old dad who still talks about your bit about soakers.
	Yes.
	I've lived in America for over two decades.
	I cannot understand why Americans are not scared of soakers.
	It decimates your day.
	Even in movies, like their guns and they'll just run through a creek and you're like, no, you're fucked now.
	Like if you camp out and have a fire and have your, remove your laces, open up your boots, put sticks in them, have them right by the fire, hope they don't burn.
	It might be dry by tomorrow, maybe.
	I'm getting depressed thinking about it.
	Yeah, it would ruin your day.
	So that's a warm temperature.
	Usually movies are kind of warm, but in the winter, you step on some ice, kajunk, fills your boot with freezing cold water, you just shoot yourself.
	That sounds like hell.
	Wow.
	Whenever I see World War II as a war movie vet, I see these guys in like Russia and they're walking through the trenches.
	I mean, they did die of trench foot.
	Yes.
	How could you not just like, oh, well, I got my feet wet.
	Like fishermen you'll see just walk into the water with no boots on, just walk out again.
	Well, you're fucked now.
	Your day's over.
	Now on the third wheel, my husband was astonished when I bought the censored subscription because like most physicians, I'm cheap as fuck and I never pay subscriptions.
	Can you please do an Indian Joker face for old time's sakes?
	It is my bad day.
	Pick me up.
	Christy.
	P.S., you were a douche when I emailed your personal email by mistake the first time.
	Yes.
	I'm not sure douche is the correct term.
	Maybe a person who doesn't like strangers fucking emailing him would be a better term.
	Crazy writers.
	Lots of letters about that girl from the CIA.
	I fucked up.
	My fact checkers out there.
	We have freelance fact checkers who pointed out that it's my daughter in Spanish.
	And a lot of people are mad at you, dude.
	Oh, yeah, no, I don't speak Spanish very much.
	Mija, that's right.
	Yeah, but.
	So her shirt says my daughter.
	Oh, okay.
	Which is like 1% less gay.
	It still says my daughter, and then whatever below it said, I can do it.
	I think part of the comedy is completely not knowing that.
	Imposter syndrome.
	Miha.
	Hey, G-Money, I was laughing at myself the other day about a story you told, but I can't remember what episode it was.
	The story was said at a boxing gym where you were talking to an Italian buddy about race.
	The punch on was, I know, imagine how I feel.
	I'm white.
	Yes, that was Tommy Baggs at the gym.
	Guy who's this Italian?
	He's the guy who said, I go, I'm getting sued.
	Every time I get sued, no matter how frivolous it is, I still have to pay a lawyer like 15 grand just to say, no, I didn't rape you when you were in Bavaria.
	I've never even fucking been there.
	That's 15 grand.
	And I go, that's a trip to Jamaica for my whole family.
	And he goes, hey, Gab, for me, that's like a Louis Vuitton jumpsuit, a tracksuit, and a Gucci tracksuit.
	Jesus.
	Yeah, that's not as important as a trip with your family.
	Anyway.
	So he had said, it was August, and I was bitching about the heat again.
	I look over him.
	I go, I can't come here in August.
	He goes, look at me.
	I'm fucking sweating.
	I'm going crazy here.
	And I go, yeah, but you're Italian.
	Imagine if you were white, how hot you'd be right now?
	And I think it was one of those few times where, you know, you're always ribbing your buddies.
	But I think it was one of those few times where he sort of went.
	Like, I think it hurt him.
	They don't like that.
	An iota.
	They don't like that.
	They worked very hard.
	Well, it was true like 100 years ago, right?
	I think it's true today.
	On yesterday's show, you played some spoken word tune with hip-hop vibes.
	If you want some good, weird, spoken, blah, blah, blah, with white vibes, check this out.
	I'm already dreading it.
	It'll be Tom McDonald's level.
	Imagine it was Tom McDonald.
	Okay, jump in the middle.
	Oh, I know this.
	Jump farther ahead.
	This is the whole thing.
	It's like poetry.
	Yeah, I'm not a poetry guy.
	I think it's gay.
	Guys, you're still wondering where fuck you dad comes from?
	I sent you about a hundred times.
	It's from the movie Blown Away with Jeff Bridges.
	Here's the clip.
	We've never seen this.
	I want to see this movie, although I hear the Irish accents are pretty rough.
	Oh, you're watching.
	Everything's under control.
	You shouldn't have done that, dude.
	Yeah.
	Well, fuck you, Dad.
	Isn't it funny, by the way, how when people would, I'd say, what is that from?
	And people would go, that's you, dummy.
	Like, the tone of millennials is just so cocksure.
	It's very frustrating because they're always wrong.
	Yeah, that's you, shit for brains.
	They're going to carry a tune to save their lives.
	Next challenge.
	Dear Gay and Gayer, when the fuck are we getting more episode at Car Guys?
	I don't know.
	I'm not in that part of Virginia very often or Maryland.
	And I was near it last time on my Cassandra Fairbanks date with Tim Poole that didn't go great.
	And he was busy working that Friday, so I couldn't do it then.
	It's not easy.
	I feel like Lord Fagamus every time I go get my car worked on, so I need to produce more content on that matter.
	I don't want to watch YouTube because I'm too intimidated.
	I need fags like you.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I saw this song and thought it was probably inspired by you when you coined the leftist clown world.
	You don't say.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for tuning in and turning me on to Tom McDonald again.
	Hey, Gavin and hey Gav, fuck Ryan.
	In yesterday's show, you briefly talked about Naked Old Man the Beach being a world banker.
	It's a mentally ill boomer named Ruby Slippers, who is probably a pedophile.
	And he's always at our beach.
	If you say to him, Ruby Slippers, he breaks into a trance and does whatever you want.
	What?
	And he's included that.
	Oh, there's his ball.
	That's safe for work.
	Click on some of the links.
	Got that guy.
	That was one of them.
	See, he's got a vine.
	Yep.
	This is him doing stuff.
	Turn it up.
	You ruined it.
	You missed it.
	Turn it up.
	Ruby slippers.
	Eat sand.
	Ruby slippers.
	Eat sand.
	And then there's another one after that.
	Ruby slippers.
	Slither like a snake in the sand.
	I can't tell if those girls are evil or funny.
	Or funny evil.
	Or it's both.
	Okay, now I'm going to start skipping a bunch because I've gone through this and found some highlights.
	How could you be gay?
	Look at those girls.
	Like, move me out of the way.
	How is anyone gay?
	Being gay is gay.
	Being gay is for fags.
	Okay, this is Anthony, How to Respond to Cancel Culture.
	Hey, Gavin Ryan, check out Wheeler Walker's response to the cancel mob.
	Okay, wait.
	All right.
	Now, some people claim Wheeler Walker is doing a bit like Weird Al kind of a thing, or not even that, more like I don't know, Andrew Dice Clay.
	I don't know.
	That's what I'm told.
	It's Wheeler Walker Jr.
	Now, I'm sure you've been waiting to hear my response to this cancel Wheeler movement that they've been trying to do on social media.
	She jumped forward this fucking book trying to cancel me.
	Send me some of my fucking songs.
	This woman named Lauren from some libtard organization actually sent me some new lyrics.
	She suggested I re-record my songs with.
	Well, guess what?
	I ain't fucking changing them.
	So she sent emailed this to my fucking manager.
	She wants this to be the new lyrics to drop them out.
	She says if I re-record drop them out with these lyrics, she'll stop her fucking cancel movement.
	Well, guess what?
	I'll read them, see what you guys think.
	She wants me to change the lyrics of Drop Them Out to this.
	Drop them out, but it's your decision.
	I'd like to see them if I have permission.
	Please sign this consensual relationship agreement with your lawyer person.
	This is fake.
	He used to The Ben Show.
	What?
	That's Ben, I forget his name, from The Ben Show.
	And he wasn't a country guy a couple of years ago.
	Funny show.
	He's a Jewish one.
	We had him on more than two years ago.
	Yeah.
	Guys, awesome.
	Also, this dude, Gus Johnson, has the sprinkles.
	Every time someone sends me this, it's someone who's fairly funny, but not sprinkle-level.
	Oh, hold up there, Buster.
	Oh, hey.
	Couldn't help but notice you're trespassing on my land.
	Sorry, I was just hiking through.
	I didn't know this was private property.
	Best get to stepping, son.
	I could just get off if you need me to.
	I'm sorry, I didn't know that.
	Doing a lot of yammering, but unbeknownst to you, you're speaking your final words.
	You don't need to brandish that weapon.
	I'm not going to hurt you.
	Well, sounds to me like we got to be smart ass on our hands.
	You're ejecting a lot of shells there.
	Yup.
	You're not going to have any left to shoot me.
	What did you just say to me?
	Like the 12th shell.
	Little shit.
	You already got one in the chamber.
	I've seen like 36 shells go through that gun.
	Don't need them.
	Do you have any left in there?
	All right.
	I've had it up to here.
	Oh.
	Geez.
	Take this.
	I can just leave.
	You're not even...
	Yeah, I'm shooting at you now.
	Is that even a real gun?
	There's like zero recoil to that gun.
	Dude, you're not even...
	Alec of blood!
	I'm gonna stick the physics to this.
	We don't want to get.
	All right.
	Dude, how many shells do you have in that gun?
	I got 57 more goddamn rounds in this four-round magazine.
	Pretty good.
	Okay, so now go down.
	This is no subject, 9.42 a.m.
	It just says, This is funny from Christopher.
	No subject.
	This is funny.
	Gotcha.
	Oh, these are good.
	Yeah, I remember these guys.
	Do you remember these?
	I think it was cracked.
	It is cracked, yeah.
	Oh, fuck!
	Fuck!
	That's the only one I do remember.
	Oh, so this is going to work great with our lagging problem.
	You, Brian!
	Don't move, Kelsey!
	Michael Rooseley reporting live from a shooting screen, which I just started.
	Man, what are you doing here?
	Keep filming!
	Funny to spice things up, it's got a remote control.
	Woo!
	She was very attractive.
	And a model.
	Really?
	Oh, sh uh.
	I'm sorry.
	That's funny.
	Stewart!
	I didn't get that.
	There's milk in the bags?
	Sperm.
	Oh, sperm.
	You know how fast you were going fast?
	Real fast.
	That nozzle of boo.
	Oh, he thinks he's running.
	Are these all five seconds?
	1,002, 1,003, 1,004.
	That was six.
	It's like those dollar stores that everything's not a dollar.
	Don't you hurt him!
	I'm doing this for you!
	That was eight.
	Yeah, if you go to the five-second films thing, it'll...
	Let's see.
	Was this pre-vines?
	I don't know.
	Nine seconds, nine seconds.
	Well, they got the bumper.
	The fucking bumper.
	Thanks for introducing us to that.
	It's very fun.
	Why, though?
	Why are you building a studio?
	Okay, we already fucking dealt with that 900 times.
	Oh, here's a doozy.
	People on planes these days.
	Dude, look at this fucking picture.
	I would spill hot coffee on that.
	I don't care if I had already had about 10 beers and didn't want a hot coffee.
	You just showed your email.
	Look at it.
	And now it's a woman by the other toe.
	What the fuck are you thinking, you fucking bitch?
	What a horrible, shitty person.
	But there's nobody sitting there.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I got kind of a doozy here.
	This is from a guy named Jesse.
	Bigotry of low expectations.
	Ginar, good evening, gentlemen.
	I'm writing this fresh off leaving my firstborn's high school senior year honor award ceremony.
	Just say my daughter, dude.
	She, along with her great group of overachieving friends, by the way, mixed races, religious backgrounds, genders, class, et cetera, were honored tonight for the well-deserved merits of their hard work.
	Many of them earned ropes, I don't know what those are, and awards for their accomplishments of earning and maintaining a 3.5 plus GPA throughout their four years of high school, in addition to other specific and worthwhile achievements.
	This was the actual meritocracy-focused portion of the ceremony.
	They blitzed through announcing this majority of students in about 20 to 30 minutes.
	But then came the remaining 90-plus minutes of what you could refer to as the bigotry of low expectations portion of the event.
	One of these processions in particular stuck out.
	A group of students were awarded a rope for showing they learned a second language with proven proficiently.
	Proficiently?
	And some of them probably did work very hard to achieve this, but an unavoidable pattern soon became apparent.
	One, the majority of recipients of this honor were Latino, you don't say.
	Two, the five or so non-Latino out of 30 students awarded mastered German or French.
	Three, the entirety of Latino students mastered drumroll Spanish.
	And I'm guessing grew up in bilingual Spanish-English households.
	Yeah, of course, I remember this too.
	Hispanic kids to get their marks up would take ESL and they would learn English.
	Or sorry, SSL.
	Spanish is a second language.
	No Latino student in this group mastered a second language other than Spanish.
	The five or so non-Latina students earned one or more achievements in the A4 men mentioned categories, but the majority of the Latino bilingual master's students earned no other ropes or honors or anything else.
	Meanwhile, they did not meet any other GPA athletic extracurricular achievements throughout their four years, but still earned this special rope for this one thing.
	The balls fawned over this group and insisted on obnoxiously overdone applause.
	Sorry, my calf is winning this.
	But wouldn't give a single clap to the white boy who won a mathematics honor for maintaining simultaneously A-plus grades in advanced placement stats, calculus, physics, who will likely be working for NASA or SpaceX in four years.
	Nor the wheelchair-bound white boy who won awards for excellence in audio-video production.
	Not even a clap.
	Or even the black girl who was honored as the business student of the year.
	That sounds weird.
	You'd think the black girl would be getting excessive clapping, right?
	Clap king, black, black, clackping?
	Clap.
	And then he adds, oh, her adoptive parents are white and they run a successful business.
	I see.
	Witnessing this was no surprise, just sad.
	The left is so disgustingly culty, cunty, and deserve nothing because they do nothing productive.
	Jealous, ugly, miserable, noisy, sexless, unfun ghouls.
	Unfortunately, my wife has befriended a couple of them, or should I say, has been captured by them, and I now have to fight daily to counteract the brainwashing they inflict upon her.
	I feel outnumbered.
	I have no patience or energy for this bullshit.
	Wish me luck.
	I say one way to survive this kind of shit would be to laugh your head off.
	Like while it's happening.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	This is ridiculous.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Are you kidding me?
	Hey, Gav, thank you for your service.
	Please tell us who does your suits again.
	It is Nita Fashions.
	They are Indian dudes based in Hong Kong.
	They come to your town, they measure you up, and then they make the shirts in Hong Kong and ship them to you.
	And the suits.
	You get a custom-made suit, like custom, so it feels like PJs.
	This, I'm not doing the top button because it's a very old shirt.
	It's probably like four years old, maybe more.
	So I'm too fat for it now.
	My new shirts are in the wash.
	But now they can send me swatches and I go, make a suit out of this.
	Make a shirt out of this.
	Make a super nice $80 shirt that's thick as shit.
	Or make one of these flimsy summer shirts.
	And they just keep coming in.
	Cheap as shit.
	Now they can't fly to your town anymore.
	Ryan, why are you not pulling up the website?
	Need to fashions?
	Yeah.
	They can't come to your town anymore, but you FaceTime with them.
	And all you need is that little cord thing, the tailor's tape, and he measures your shoulders.
	You get your wife to do it.
	She holds around your waist, your thigh, your inseam, and all that stuff.
	And then they can send you swatches if you want to make a fancy suit, or you can just ask for a shirt and they'll make it for you.
	So those look fairly expensive, those $100 shirts, but I guess it's a fancy fabric.
	Most shirts are like $100, man.
	It's hard to avoid.
	You can get them for $50 if you get their cheapest shirt.
	And you choose, you know, whether it's a button-down, you get your initials.
	All my suits, they have my name, Gavin McInnis, on the inside.
	You know my name.
	And my initials on the collar.
	And in fact, my new shirts say GM, not GMM.
	So when I see GM, I know it's going to fit good and not be one of these skinny guy shirts.
	So Nita NITA Fashions.
	Please tell them Gavin sent you.
	They're not an official sponsor, but I always say it's where cheap rich guys go to buy their shit.
	Okay, last, oh yes, some guy talked about hard liquor.
	Remember I thought that I was drinking super juice because I was drinking like 30-year-old apricot brandy.
	But many viewers wrote in and said, no, dude, once it ferments, it ferments.
	The process is done.
	It can be 100 years old.
	But then why does wine age better?
	The flavor.
	Maybe that's bullshit and maybe that doesn't include more alcohol content.
	But this was an interesting one.
	This guy says someone has the sprinkles.
	Zach Piona.
	And I think they might be right.
	Again, I'm very cynical about the sprinkles.
	I do not sprinkle them out very often.
	But this guy's taking a pretty easy joke and just delivering it perfectly.
	Accidentally went to a glory hole convention this weekend instead of a cornhole convention.
	So embarrassing.
	Oh, that's really embarrassing, yeah.
	A two-day convention.
	I'm using beanbags to hit dicks like it's fucking whack-a-mole.
	You know what I mean?
	You didn't want to leave within like the first five minutes of getting?
	They had free hot dogs.
	What the fuck do you think I'm going to do?
	And it was a two-day hotel with free guest passes.
	And I used all of those.
	You had guests from the Glory Hole convention come up into your room.
	This is the room next door.
	And we chatted.
	Through a hole.
	Did they shove anything through the hole?
	They did, yeah.
	But you know what?
	It's their business and my business.
	Okay, and you know what?
	I'm gonna go back again next year.
	Are you gonna bring beanbags?
	No, I'm gonna bring condoms this time, like a smart man, okay?
	Why don't you go fuck off?
	Anyway, sorry.
	Our technology ruined that bit, but it was very high quality.
	All right, let's jump to the final video.
	By the way, I know I'm selling, this is Nita Fashions, and I know it looks weird, but again, this shirt is probably when did I buy this?
	My gut says like six, seven years old.
	And it's been dry.
	I find when you dry clean shirts, you know, thousands of times, they shrink.
	So it's old.
	I was way skinnier back then.
	And it's been washed 9 million times.
	And the jacket I was wearing when I came on the show.
	This is Ted Baker.
	It's a fun label because it's got fun little attributes.
	Like sewn in pocket square.
	That's fun too.
	I highly recommend Ted Baker.
	It's a model for them.
	Here's just a clip of Switzerland.
	Wait, no, what's 4-1?
	Oh, 5-second film.
	Oh, yeah, that's a 5-second film.
	No, it's not.
	What's a 4-1?
	That's 4-1?
	Okay.
	What's a 4-2?
	Fortuitously, it is this.
	Isn't that shockingly beautiful?
	Can you fucking imagine living there?
	I can't.
	Like, you just come every time you went to grab a chicken.
	If that's not heaven, what's heaven?
	What, you just hear that waterfall when you go to bed at night?
	It's just amazing.
	I think that's Switzerland.
	Tabernouche.
	What a paradise.
	And then I should have actually ended with that one to rest your hearts, your laurels, your nerves, calm your nerves.
	Because this is an attempted Brinks car robbery in South Africa.
	I'm sure you've seen it already.
	You're going to zoom out, Ryan, a little bit, because we want to see the windows.
	Okay, so driving along.
	So he swerves into them.
	They're shooting him at the...
	a piece of garbage on your lawn pick it up if you notice someone fucks with you take a couple blows take a few hits and then come back at them i remember this guy was fucking with my dad a lot when my parents were having a party he's like yeah what would jim know about that and it got to be a little one-sided and petty and i go dad i think it's time we um we fought back with old Bry guy there.
	These are getting pretty rich, this relentless, stupid insults, and you're not returning fire.
	And he felt like that guy was, you know, not worthy of him, of fighting him.
	I don't mean physically, I mean like barbs.
	And he says, All right, all right.
	But I will be erring on the side of caution.
	And then we just proceeded scorched earth to destroy the guy until he was just smoking embers.
	It's fun to fight back.
	Do it.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	So dig his big crux.
	Organizing the bus with the motorist.
	Many years beyond the big sweatpoint.
	Man, they was doing it.

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