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April 27, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:10:50

S03E104 - AMERICAN PRAVDA

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	What's up, boy?
	That was the Angry Samoans.
	Late 70s, early 80s punk band from Los Angeles.
	You didn't see a lot of punk out of LA.
	There was what?
	The Germs.
	TSOL were kind of rock, gothy rock.
	It was done by a bunch of music writers, a bunch of critics, and they were fucking great.
	They got the simplicity of punk.
	Kind of like the Rosillos with that song, Somebody's Gonna Get The Head Kicked In Tonight.
	Funky Jam.
	I used to cover it in my cover band 80s Hardcore, which I no longer do because it's too hard.
	Jumping around on stage is a young man's game.
	What?
	It's too hard.
	Core.
	Have you tried moshing recently?
	Not recently.
	It's been a long time.
	It is exhausting.
	It's like boxing.
	No, it's way worse.
	Hockey and moshing are a young man's game.
	Holy shit.
	That's how Alan Thick died.
	He said, let's fucking get on the rink and just start grinding.
	And his body couldn't handle it.
	I almost puked at the gym today.
	I had to stop my workout.
	He was making me do this thing.
	It's a burpee with dumbbells.
	So you hold onto the bar, you do that, and I fucking hate burpees.
	But you go stretch your legs out, and then you pull them back in, then you pick up the bar and go up like that, and then down, boom, boom, 15 times.
	Pretty intense.
	I was so loud that people were coming over to see what's going on.
	You were a spectacle?
	A spectacle.
	Spectacle.
	Oh, man, it sucked.
	And then I said to say, excuse me, sir.
	I'm going to go.
	Oh, not dumbbells, whatever the big bar is called.
	The barbell.
	Barbell.
	And I said, I have to stop.
	I'm going to go vomit.
	And I went into the ladies' bathroom because the men's had just been blown up by the gym owner, and I was not about to handle that much shit smell.
	And I dry heaved.
	Nothing came out, of course.
	You know what happened to me the other night, Thursday night?
	We were partying pretty hard because I've been sick all week, so I've been going to the gym.
	And if I'm not going to the gym the next day, I get polluted.
	Like wasted.
	Oh, God, that's what I was doing.
	That's a lot of weight she's pushing up there.
	Yeah, it is.
	Are those plastic?
	I don't know.
	Are those frisbees?
	Great.
	You made me forget what I was talking about.
	Oh, yeah.
	So I'm feeling a little under the weather.
	We're doing shots and my body's digesting too much because, you know, liquor makes you digest more.
	That's why they call it digestif.
	Because your body thinks you've been poisoned.
	So it starts trying to break it down.
	So I had to go poo-poo.
	And I just, I blew up the bar bathroom, which I'm not proud of.
	And then this dude, John, was there.
	I think he was doing some nose beers.
	And he looked like a ghost.
	You know, that level of wasted where they're doing nose beers and beer beers.
	And there's sort of weekended Bernies.
	And you look over at the guy and you're just like, you're white as a ghost, dude.
	You're dying.
	You're not alive right now.
	You're being kept awake by an iron lung.
	Anyway, he walks in and he goes, was that you?
	And I go, yep, that's mine.
	Enjoy.
	Then I come back later for a piss.
	There's barf all over the sink.
	And I go, John, did you puke in the sink?
	And he goes, yep.
	There you go.
	And I go, you puke in a toilet.
	What's it going to do?
	There's strands of lettuce and shit in there.
	Sorry if anyone's eating.
	Got a big show for you today.
	Lots of stuff going on.
	I have an announcement to make.
	We're moving the live show back to Thursday nights.
	I initially didn't want to compete with Steven Crowder, but he's done, his show's a morning show now.
	Right.
	So, and by the way, we're good.
	I spoke to his dad.
	Good.
	Basically called me a fag.
	He said, what, someone doesn't get back to you in 24 hours and you start having panic attacks?
	And I go, yeah.
	I've been dumped by so many of my friends that I think I got dumped by Uber this weekend.
	Yeah, what's that about?
	I couldn't sign in.
	And I erased my credit card and put it in anew.
	And they said, no, something appears to be wrong here.
	So I had to take a taxi.
	I got to the airport at 7.50.
	My flight started boarding at 8.05.
	I fucking, no, sorry.
	I started boarding 10 minutes before at 7.40.
	It leaves at 8.05.
	I fucking made my flight.
	That's wild.
	I made my fucking flight.
	That's old school.
	That's like the way it was in the 90s.
	That's how I do it.
	I like to show up out of breath.
	I went to LA to meet a potential investor for dinner at Dan Tanna's, which was awesome.
	But I could tell I was spotted.
	A bunch of young, looked like young rich kids, probably the kids of celebrities.
	They were all gorgeous, breathtakingly gorgeous men took a picture with me.
	The guy I was with bought their whole table dinner.
	Okay.
	Delicious steak, Noki.
	Called me a fag for getting the Nokia.
	I've been getting a lot of homophobic hate recently.
	Because I wear suits and I was wearing my tan suit.
	And I noticed at the airport, people were looking at me like I was a homosexual.
	Because outside of New York City, when you dress up, they assume you're gay.
	And even some male makeup guy came up to me at the airport and he's like, sir, sir, we have a new, whatever, skin lotion.
	I go, fuck off, faggot.
	He goes, oh, I'm sorry.
	I thought you were one of us.
	No, I'm bashing fags like you.
	But I can talk about what it's like to be gay because I am a victim of homophobia.
	And guess what?
	It's not so bad.
	But I got to send you some pictures of some of the ladies that fly on planes now.
	It's actually cheap to go first class.
	I went there and back to LA and back first class for $1,400.
	Let me just send this to you.
	How good was the first class?
	It was fucking amazing.
	But the problem is, the way I travel, especially long trips, is I just get annihilated.
	And it's time travel.
	You have three of those little buffalo tray sperm bottles, and then you blink, and three hours went by.
	Part of the trip, actually, there's no more direct flights.
	Part of the trip was coach, and I felt like I was going into solitary confinement.
	It was the very last seat in the plane after going from first class, where on my way there, I had this chair that goes, until you're in a bed.
	And I was next to some fat pig, but I didn't mind because she had her own little area.
	She came in, ate a huge breakfast, and then they gave you a breakfast with the flight.
	So after finishing her avocado toast with two eggs on top, which is like an entree, a dinner, the stewardess comes by with some fucking egg and cheese sandwiches.
	She devours those.
	Wow.
	I just looked over and I went, you fat fucking pig.
	Look at yourself.
	Look at your roles.
	You disgusting glutton.
	You know, you're the pandemic.
	People aren't, normal people like me aren't dying.
	You're dying.
	All of this info on TV should be about people like you.
	And your tits aren't even big.
	What a waste.
	I tweaked her nipple.
	One of my son's friends got sent away to a center for bad kids because he called his teacher a fat whore.
	Well, was she?
	I think it's really unjust, actually, what happened to him.
	He was in class on a Zoom, and he's playing video games, as kids are wont to do, and she kept saying, let's call him Gary.
	Gary, I'm going to ask you for the third time to put your camera on.
	You're the only person in this class who hasn't put your hand on.
	And he's playing like Fortnite.
	And he goes, and you know, when kids are playing these video games, they're amped up.
	So you say dumb shit.
	And he didn't realize his mic was on.
	And he said, will you shut up, you fat fucking whore?
	Zoop.
	On a plane.
	He's in like Ohio now.
	Really?
	To take it easy on these kids.
	That's a first offense?
	I don't think so.
	Okay.
	We've been having some trouble with Gary for a while, but.
	Whatever.
	Kids are bad.
	I didn't get that yet.
	What?
	Three picks?
	Oh, really?
	That's gay.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	Well, we've moved on anyway.
	Who is it, ladies?
	It was people of color.
	Ah.
	And the way they dress on the plane is rodeo clowns.
	They look like rodeo clowns.
	I was the only person.
	So I was two flights to get there, two flights to get back.
	I'm going through all those different airports, right?
	All those different gates.
	I probably saw 2,000, 3,000 people.
	I was the only person wearing a suit.
	And every single black person I saw was a rodeo clown.
	With shredded pants, crocs, with taught.
	What do you call the things you put on your stupid Crocs?
	Gibbets.
	Gibbets on them, tattoos, neck tattoos, face tattoos.
	Oh, this we're going to cover later on.
	They look like they were on stage.
	Like, it was not subtle.
	But those didn't arrive yet?
	Oh, well.
	Well.
	I mean, I've seen it.
	Yes.
	Last time we went to the airport, it was the same deal.
	Yeah, the other thing that's hot now is these giant shower caps that are this big.
	Like a weird chef's hat from 1802.
	Anyway, today's book, great book, American Pravda.
	Pravda was, of course, the Soviet government newspaper back before the collapse of the Russian Empire.
	Pravda means truth.
	And James O'Keefe is saying, we have our own Soviet-style journalism, which I want to talk about today.
	The way that they keep putting out this shit about how America's racist and backwards and evil and white supremacists are the biggest threat to America today, while totally ignoring that the hood is on fire and that 20 blacks are killed by 20 blacks every fucking day.
	Not to mention they totally ignore the obesity epidemic in this country because they don't want to offend their viewers.
	Not to mention they don't cover the opioid epidemic in this country that kills 160 a day because they don't want to offend their pharmaceutical clients.
	So James O'Keefe goes through all of this, but the thread that goes throughout it is his actual life, all the stories he did.
	So it's sort of like his first book, Breakthrough, in that it's something of a diary.
	But it's also held together with this hypothesis, which I just see as a fact, that we've lost our media.
	And it's all fake news now, with very few exceptions.
	So that's fun.
	I told you about the live shows going to Thursday nights.
	So don't call in Wednesday night.
	I won't be here.
	It seemed dumb to do two shows on one day.
	Yeah, that's tough.
	I ended up having nothing to say by the time Thursday rolled around.
	One of the few places that is often brave and not fake news, although whenever they talk about me or Proud Boys, they call me a white supremacist.
	Seven days of gun hell in today's New York Post.
	50 shot in only one week.
	And we're going to go through some of these shootings.
	We're also going through that drawing we showed you the other day where it had St. George, Floyd, and all the victims of gun violence.
	And there was like 100 names.
	All these names are finding...
	There are bona fide victims of bona fide racist assholes like swastika's Aryan nations dragged A guy behind a truck, yeah, 30 years ago, and he got the death penalty.
	But 90% of these cases are bullshit: chasing cops, running at cops, refusing to comply, carrying a toy gun and pointing it at a cop, being a drug dealer.
	Anyway, I'm just going to go through those some other episode.
	I might make it a whole censored.tv presents because this narrative, this fake news narrative, the American Pravda puts out is not just getting, not just causing riots and mayhem, but it's ruining black people's lives because they are assuming that they live in a country that's out to get them.
	They think they're an apartheid.
	And when they get arrested, they charge the cops because they're going down.
	Guys at my gym say that.
	They go, the black guys at my gym, they say, cool, smart people I'm talking about, employed blacks, say, yo, they traded in their white Klan uniforms for fucking blue uniforms.
	I don't know if I'm going to die when I go out.
	Every time I get in my car, I don't know if I'm going to come home.
	And if I get shot, if I got in a shootout, if I was robbing a bank, I would take down as many of these racist motherfucking pigs as I could on the way out.
	And I'm just like, none of what you're saying is true.
	None.
	But I just keep it light there.
	I don't want to bring politics into the gym.
	One time, one of the guys goes, yo, what would you do if you came outside and you saw a cop with his knee on my neck?
	Would you stop filming?
	Would you try to get him off?
	I'd say, that's the guy who raped me, officer.
	And then he goes, I'd be crazy and then walks away.
	I would say, hey, you're cool.
	I'd say, hey, you need a hand?
	His pocket square is looking a little annoying.
	Kidding.
	Also in the news, Howard's End.
	Of course, referring to E.M. Foster's classic novel from early 20th century, 1910, I believe.
	But they're talking about how shitty Howard Stern is now, and it's so fucking true.
	It's just like, he's just a bitter person who hates everything.
	So all of his shit on his show is about how this pandemic is dangerous and we should all stay in our basements because that's his life.
	That's what he wants.
	I don't think he's got the vaccine, but he won't shut up about the vaccine.
	The most offensive thing about Howard Stern lately is his $1 million a day snooze of a show.
	And you notice with his interviews, he's talking to Bill Murray and he's like, so your brother, he must be jealous of you, right?
	Because he was an actor too, and you've had so much more success.
	And he's like, no, he's happy for me.
	Howard, we're not like that.
	Like most of us, when we see a rich person, we go, way to go, dude.
	You're probably a hard worker.
	You probably invented something cool.
	We don't go, ooh, I wish I had a Maserati.
	Fuck.
	Back when I first moved to New York, I didn't really have any money.
	I mean, I was making 80 grand a year, but going out every night and getting stories for Vice meant it was check to check.
	And I would know rich people and celebrities, and I never for a second was like, fuck, he's got so much money from Scary Movie 2.
	I wish I had Scary Movie 2 money.
	You even asked Adam Sandler.
	I just listened to this whole thing yesterday.
	He's like, so you called up Adam Levine for your Kids Bomb Mitzvah, and that's going to take some balls.
	I mean, he's like a famous guy.
	Yeah, he always says that.
	Aren't you intimidated?
	Adam Sandler's been famous his entire adult life.
	Correct.
	He's got a lot of people down when he meets Robert De Niro.
	Whoa.
	And Adam Levine has probably seen all his movies.
	Yeah.
	He's a fan of him.
	That's got to be a good one.
	He wants to impose his neuroses on the rest of the country.
	Anyway, it's even boring talking about him.
	So yeah, I went to LA.
	The flights were fucking nuts.
	The Oscars was last night, and I sent you some pictures of that separately.
	It was the woke Olympics.
	I saw it because I was getting dressed and ironing my suit in the hotel.
	And it was on.
	Believe me, I wouldn't put it on.
	The award goes to, I don't know, the black guy.
	And then they would get up there and preach about gun violence.
	Not, of course, violence from them, but cops in the hood.
	Look at this fucking clown.
	We talk about clown worlds, rodeo clowns.
	If you saw this person at a rodeo, they would not look remotely at a place.
	Now, he probably has dress shoes on.
	Maybe the rodeo clown would have more like funny pants with red Chuck Taylor or something.
	But as far as the waist up, this is a perfectly normal rodeo clown.
	Oscar winner Trayvon Free, which is definitely not his real name, addresses police killings in acceptance speech.
	And in his speech, he went off, I read about this, I didn't see it live, about how more were more disproportionately represented in the cop killings.
	When cops kill a perp, they tend to be disproportionately black.
	Yeah, because you appear in the crime stats more.
	Sorry.
	Firemen get disproportionately burned because they're around more fires.
	Look at their fucking embarrassing outfits.
	What was the Academy Award for?
	Sequestering a bull?
	Live action short.
	And the Oscar for distracting an angry bull goes to Trayvon Free and his funny sidekick.
	What strangers?
	Two distant strangers?
	I fucking have no idea.
	Today, live action short.
	The police will kill three people.
	Oh.
	And tomorrow, the police will kill three people.
	That guy was...
	He was giggly before.
	He's like, yeah, we're winning in a war.
	This is awesome.
	And then he just goes, my son has cancer.
	He just had his legs removed.
	Okay, let's hear a moment.
	I was smiling about something totally different.
	Didn't even bring that up during appetizers, but sure.
	This was not the plan.
	And then who's that other woman?
	She gets up there.
	I saw one woman get up and she's like, my grandfather was a Tuskegee airman.
	I can't remember if this was her or not.
	I would have marched if Chauvin's verdict was different.
	Okay, well, it wasn't.
	He got all three counts.
	He's going to jail for a very long time.
	Maybe drop it.
	Maybe this isn't the best time to bring it up.
	You got your way.
	Well, it would have been fucking chaos if I didn't get my way.
	But anyway, this other actress I hadn't heard of, she goes, My grandfather was a Tuskegee airman.
	He got a college degree, even though he wasn't allowed to be at the college.
	He did it at home and then would go in and then leave.
	And then he wanted to be a teacher, but they wouldn't let Negroes be teachers.
	Meanwhile, she's talking about like the 30s or some shit.
	And you go, okay, yeah, it was pretty bad back then.
	You just won an award.
	Can you cheer up?
	And then I was thinking, wait a minute.
	Everyone's grandfather had a horrible fucking life.
	My grandfather, Jimmy McInnes, was orphaned at 12, worked in a fucking newspaper plant his whole life, covered in black ink.
	My father didn't have shoes that fit him his entire life.
	And all he could wear, his only clothing was his school uniform, which he would start out with way too big at the beginning of the year.
	And then he would grow into it.
	And then it would be way too small by the end of the year.
	And it would be in rags by the end of the year because it was the only thing he had.
	And he had to fight every day because he got a scholarship to go to a fancy school.
	And that was students.
	People who went to school were considered faggots back then.
	Student was the N-word.
	If someone went up to you and called you a student, it was time to fight.
	So he had to brawl every day, fight just for the crime of getting a scholarship to go to a good school.
	I don't talk about that when I get an award.
	But on the plane, I saw a movie that I have to watch with Josh Denny.
	It was called Redemption Day.
	And the black thing in it deserves 750 Oscars.
	He deserves a wheelbarrow of Oscars for this fucking...
	I was laughing.
	It's a comedy.
	It's a parody of bad acting.
	And this is, they show the exact beginning of the movie.
	This scene, by the way, in the movie, goes on in real time.
	I mean, it's like Brown Bunny with the motorcycle race in real time.
	This goes on and on.
	So this is a nightmare he's having.
	It doesn't look so bad.
	Like, Joe Biggs went through this twice.
	There he is.
	I think the director wants to fuck him because there's so many shots of his back.
	Oh, this was funny.
	He's boxing.
	He's going, give me a one and a two instead of one, two.
	Like, they didn't even do the research of what boxers say.
	A one and a two.
	A one and a two.
	And they hamming it up.
	I think she has to ham it up as much as him so he doesn't look ridiculous.
	Because in every scene, he's getting a blowdrop, basically.
	This isn't in the thing, but he has, she comes down and he's had a nightmare last night, the nightmare you just saw.
	And she puts her arm around his gorgeous back, which is the central theme of the movie.
	It should be called Mulatto's.
	He's got a back fetish.
	Yeah.
	And she puts her arms on his shoulders and he goes, oh.
	And then he goes like this.
	He has a little fancy coffee mug and he goes like this.
	Your coffee.
	That's beyond game.
	And then she's doing this shit.
	Are you guys on MDMA?
	Yeah.
	Chill the fuck out.
	That might be it.
	It's the only time I've seen a movie that's so bad.
	I was like, oh, I got to stop.
	This is not for me to waste time enjoying by myself.
	This has to be on the show.
	That looks like not even a black Chris Cornell.
	Just like Chris Cornell.
	It looks like Chris Cornell on holiday.
	And yes, we're not denying he's melting your mouth gorgeous.
	Right.
	He's got the green eyes.
	He's got the Smokey Robinson skin.
	Fucking.
	But go back to the trailer.
	Look how intense he is in every scene.
	Barocco's cutiful.
	I don't know if it's the right time for me to leave.
	That shower scene is about 10 minutes long.
	In Morocco, we have found something incredible, and we have been granted access to the market.
	Oh, yeah, she's a world-renowned architect who's discovered a 300,000-year-old village underneath the sand.
	Which, is that true?
	Did they find 300,000-year-old bones?
	I'm not a smart woman, like her.
	Yeah, I'm not a leading archaeologist.
	I could see architect?
	Archaeologist.
	I could ask a woman that I know, but gotta get back to you on it.
	We have to be careful.
	We are very close to the border.
	Uh-oh.
	What is going on?
	What do you think is going on?
	See, this is my favorite kind of movie.
	And as a movie war vet, I was happy to experience more recent wars.
	Look at his face.
	What the fuck?
	They kidnapped my wife.
	They're dead.
	Kill her.
	They were taken to be beheaded.
	The gentleman that we are dealing with is crazy.
	I need to get into Algeria.
	You're out of your mind.
	Are they raping her every day?
	Yes.
	Oh, I don't really want her then.
	She's going to be all stretched out.
	I want like Brian Stettler's wife pussy.
	Approach.
	You stretched out my wife.
	Like half a stettler.
	Half stettler.
	All we want is Charles Bronson in Death Wish.
	We want kids hurt, women kidnapped, and we want to go in there and save the ass.
	But none of that.
	Look at all this sexiness.
	Oh, that was it.
	That was the coffee scene I told you about.
	Yeah, that's him.
	That's him.
	He's just about to give her a coffee.
	Wait.
	Who does that?
	Do they keep looping it or are you doing that?
	I'm doing that.
	Oh.
	Yeah, that.
	This is how my wife greets me in the morning.
	She sneaks up behind me and she puts her arms around my waist and she goes, I love you so much.
	And then I just go like this.
	And then I come.
	Yeah, of course.
	She's coming.
	And then I hand her a coffee as she's coming.
	And then I clean off the splooge.
	Actually, the cup is empty.
	The cup is for the come.
	And his daughter, who he loves to death, is as white as me.
	So what's happened there?
	Is she adopted?
	It's Chris Cornell.
	These bad guys are about to fall on black days.
	Let me get out of my rusty cage.
	Fight for your life.
	You're going to call me the Spoon Man.
	I'm Captain Brad Paxton.
	Kate is my wife.
	We don't speak.
	Brad Paxton, you ruined what could have been a cool movie.
	You ruined it with your overacting.
	Redemption Day, motherfucker.
	I dare you.
	I dare you.
	Redemption Day.
	Also in the news, Alex Jones was right.
	Now, everyone's saying he was right because rich people were caught injecting themselves with teenage blood.
	But to be fair, and I hope this doesn't turn out to be true, Alex is more of the adrenochrome kind of a world where they torture children to get their adrenaline going, then they get the blood out, and then they inject and I assume kill the kids.
	That's a bit rich.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	But the thing about Alex is he's hyperbolic, but when you go to the core of what he's saying, there's truth to it.
	It's like comedy in that sense.
	It's an exaggeration of the truth.
	All right.
	Let's jump into what might be a new segment, The Liberal Mob.
	Johnny Rotten had some wise words on cancel culture.
	Johnny Rotten is a fucking mensch, by the way.
	He took in, he married a woman much older than him.
	She's got Alzheimer's now.
	Excuse me.
	Still a bit sick.
	And he's taking care of her because she doesn't trust nurses because she's lost her mind.
	She's old.
	I think she's like 10 years older than him and he's old.
	But Ari Up of the Slits was her daughter.
	And he became her de facto dad.
	Raised her.
	Of course, punk rock murdered her because she didn't want conventional medicine when she got breast cancer, just like another punk rocker, polystyrene from X-ray specs.
	So she eschewed modern medicine.
	And because she thinks she's Rastafarian, she fucking was only like doing natural remedies from Jamaicans, you know.
	I wouldn't bother with Jamaican solutions to things like cancer.
	I would go to the very top of the corporate elitists who want to zap the cancer with fucking radioactive poison.
	You can't spliff away cancer.
	But anyway, Johnny Rotten raised her and punk killed her.
	But he was talking about these snowflakes and wokeness as a load of bullshit.
	He said, these people aren't genuinely disenfranchised at all.
	They just view themselves as special.
	It's selfishness.
	And in that respect, it's divisive and can only lead to trouble.
	Where is the moral majority nonsense coming from when they're basically the ones doing all the wrong for being so bitchy, judgmental, and vicious against anyone who doesn't go along with the current popular opinion?
	It's just horribly, horribly tempentuous, tempestuous, spoilt children coming out of colleges and universities with shit for brains.
	That's so true.
	And I was following my favorite Amy Siskind.
	1-6.
	I'm skipping down a bit here.
	I like to hate watch her.
	I wish I could comment on her posts.
	I wish you would too.
	Get on there.
	And anytime you get a chance, point out that she ruined her ex-husband's life, emptied his bank account, turned his kids against him, and she was caught having sex, allegedly, at nine months pregnant with another woman.
	She's just a man-hating lesbian who married a guy, got his sperm, got his money, and then threw him in the garbage, like a black widow.
	Anyway, look at this fucking picture.
	And we'll talk about this later with COVID.
	She's obviously not going to get COVID.
	Tucker's in big shit for saying you can't get it outside.
	So don't wear a mask outside.
	And you're certainly not going to get it alone in a canoe in fucking Montana where the hell she is.
	But why is she wearing that mask?
	Because it's a fuck you.
	That mask is political now.
	And wearing a mask doesn't mean I don't like COVID.
	It means I don't like Trump.
	And Karens hate Trump, so they wear the fucking mask.
	And they love bossing other people around.
	But look at the reactions to that.
	1-6.
	So I don't know what her tweet was.
	It was something stupid.
	But I was looking at the kind of people that support her.
	And this is who we're up against, right?
	Keep going.
	All right, boring, boring.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I thought 16 would take you to the actual specific one.
	Look up the word Lesi.
	Was one of the reactions was Lesi.
	L-E.
	No?
	Keep going.
	We gotta find this.
	It was some lesbian and some gay dude, and these are the kind of people who get us all fired for sins.
	And I was just like, these fucking losers, these lunatics are running the asylum.
	Like, look at all these pieces of fucking...
	Now I look like I'm just shitting on random lesbians.
	Oh, we're getting there.
	Wait, is that?
	My wife and Argo.
	Oh, no.
	It's a picture of the girl.
	Oh, it's Lesbian Awareness Day or something?
	And I'm not criticizing these people for being gay, obviously.
	I'm criticizing them for being woke liberals who ruin people's lives.
	And when you look at the, they're holding these paintings in this picture I'm talking about.
	And it's such a shitty painting.
	Oh, there's way too many.
	There we go.
	Yes.
	So what does she say?
	Lesbian and home.
	Lesbian home.
	Zoom in on that art.
	So she's taken a troll and just glued it to a piece of felt.
	And then she's like, my youngest boy is eight.
	And if he brought that home, I'd go, oh, that's nice.
	And then later when I was sort of cleaning up, this wouldn't go in the save pile.
	Wait, is that a nail?
	Yeah, she nailed it to a board through the belly button.
	Well, they have jewels.
	But it does look like it's nailed in there.
	So I can't tell if that's it.
	And then the other guy's slightly more talented.
	Look, he has to sign his name.
	Is he going to try to sell this?
	and by the way, isn't it kind of eerie that they're both children's toys?
	Yeah.
	Why do you have those?
	Why are you into...
	Why do you have a baby Barbie?
	It's not even an adult Barbie.
	So I don't know if maybe he made that mermaid tale, but he's done some shitty painting with his stupid markers.
	It's some dumb class.
	Imagine the class they'd made these in.
	It was like called wine and...
	No, it's called Pinot and Painting.
	Painting with Pinot.
	That's good.
	And they have Pinot Grigio, and they do some dumb, shitty project like this and get drunk and talk about how much they hate Trump and make this fucking shit.
	Like, that's such embarrassing garbage.
	Anyway, these are the kind of people who get someone fired for 1-4.
	This was kind of viral.
	Some guy, some, you know, the prom is important to kids.
	And so when you see some guy dressed like a clown at one of these things, you're allowed to sort of go, what are you doing, dude?
	You look like an imbecile.
	And this dad criticized this raging homosexual who looked fucking ridiculous and made a mockery of the prom.
	Look, I don't want this to be illegal, but you know someone's going to make fun of you at least once when you are a young man in a stupid fucking dress.
	Can we call you?
	This is the culture we're in now is like, imagine a punk rocker with green cone spikes going, this person said I look like an idiot.
	Clearly you're aware when you're a dude in a dress with flat, there's tith holders on his dress that are obviously empty.
	So you look ridiculous.
	Just call him flat-chested.
	I told you I don't want to wear something.
	Buck off.
	Okay?
	Okay.
	Is that right?
	Think he looks gross?
	Looks disgusting.
	Your words.
	Yeah?
	Yeah.
	I look like boy.
	What is it?
	What does he look like?
	You look like an idiot.
	You look like an idiot.
	What does he look like?
	Do not look like a man.
	No, sir.
	No, sir.
	I can fucking record you all I want.
	Fuck away.
	Keep talking.
	So they're antagonizing him too, saying, fuck off.
	And filming him and trying to ruin his life.
	And this has gone viral because they want clout.
	This is the thing you do now.
	And this guy lost his job.
	He's the CEO at a big corporation.
	But he called someone who looks like an idiot an idiot.
	Can you not take it on the chin?
	I mean, it'd be one thing if he, like, hurt you physically.
	This is not illegal.
	And why are these corporations so eager to fucking comply to someone like the two people I just showed you with the troll and the baby Barbie?
	Why are they deciding who can be a CEO?
	That's what I don't get about this shit, is why you're listening to these people at all.
	Homophobic piece of shit.
	Is he homophobic?
	Please, please, please.
	Look like a moron.
	Get away.
	Come on.
	Please, come on.
	Please, I'm talking about this.
	His hands are in his pockets and they're begging him to stop.
	Please stop.
	Stop not thinking I'm gorgeous.
	Stop existing.
	Stop standing there.
	It's exactly like the Catholic school smirk.
	Right.
	Totally unaggressive.
	Totally calm.
	Totally fired.
	Seriously.
	Come on, dude.
	We don't want any problems.
	Seriously, dude.
	We don't want any problems.
	What's he going to do?
	Start beating you all?
	But go back and see if there's a tweet there of him getting fired.
	Scroll down.
	Look at that.
	Cassie Griffin helped dox him.
	And there's his boyfriend.
	That's boring.
	Well, let's just hear it, I guess.
	Hi, I was minding my own business.
	So TikTok has now removed the video of my boyfriend being harassed on our prom night two times for harassment and bullying, but I'm still going to give you guys a story time, and I'm going to have my friend Brie post the main video on her TikTok account, which I'll comment below if you guys want to go and watch it.
	It is a long story, probably gonna have to make multiple parts, but I'm in college.
	My boyfriend's a senior in high school, and he decided that he wanted to wear a dress for his senior prom to come break the stigma around men wearing dresses.
	He looked gorgeous.
	Everybody loved it.
	Nobody had a problem with it, right?
	Nobody had a problem with it.
	Indeed, he looked gorgeous.
	It's not true.
	A lot of good photos.
	We were there for about an hour, and right as we were about to leave, we were standing outside in this little middle area with a bunch of buildings surrounding us.
	This man comes up, stands about an inch behind my boyfriend, and he's like, what are you wearing?
	And he's like, a dress.
	Why?
	And he's like, well, why are you wearing that?
	You shouldn't be wearing that.
	He's like, because I can and I want to, and I really don't give a fuck.
	What do you think?
	So this man starts going on and on, throwing insults at him.
	You look disgusting.
	You look ridiculous.
	No, you said that.
	He said, idiot.
	All of this homophobic banter.
	Do you not look like an idiot when you wear a dress?
	Like, yeah.
	And hold on a second.
	He went there for the point of destigmatizing it.
	So it's got a stigma.
	So he should have done his part and been like, well, I'm trying to make this less weird, but yes, it's weird.
	But for how many centuries have we been dressing up in a woman's dress to make our friends laugh?
	Right.
	That's what you do.
	It's like that show.
	I'm a lady.
	What's that called?
	Britain?
	Britain is Beautiful or something?
	Or Kids in the Hall or SNL.
	It looks funny to us.
	Sorry.
	You just, you brought me up with Mrs. Doubtfire.
	I thought it was funny and now I'm supposed to be like, no, you don't look funny at all.
	You look breathtaking.
	No, you don't.
	It's just a fact.
	I'm not tossing and turning all night.
	And by all means, go to fucking prom wearing whatever you want.
	No one gives a shit.
	But you're allowed to have your pockets and your hands in your pockets and go, you look like an idiot.
	They live for this, by the way.
	That's why they exploded with like, fuck you, bitch.
	They're waiting for that the whole night.
	Yeah.
	And they finally got it.
	Because like just getting approval isn't good enough.
	He slaps my phone out of my hand.
	It goes flying over on the concrete.
	March you coming right now.
	Well, yeah.
	He hit your phone away because you're trying to ruin his life and you did.
	Right.
	So he was right.
	Keep going down, though.
	They might say, I saw an announcement from his company.
	There He is doesn't look like an idiot at all, right?
	Look at the tits.
	I mean, come on.
	It looks like he's making fun of trannies, even.
	Yeah.
	The guy could have been like, I'm actually pro-Transport.
	It looks like he lost a bet or it's some sort of initiation.
	He's doing the work for a gang.
	Hate crime to say things.
	Okay.
	Keep going.
	Keep going.
	Today we're excited to announce our life partnership, blah, blah, blah, going.
	You can see poor Sam Johnson get fucking fired.
	Keep going, keep going.
	Oh, there we go.
	Speaking of Visuel B.O.D. has chosen to terminate Mr. Johnson from his position as CEO.
	I wonder if he'll be unhireable now.
	Because once you get that stank on you, but let's see what this company does.
	It'd be funny if they like fight against cancer for children or something.
	What's Visuel?
	Healthcare.
	Visuel is the leader in patient-centered telemedicine, offering an easy-to-use cloud-based platform that improves access to care.
	Oh, so it's for people who maybe don't have healthcare and you can go on there and say, I have a strange skin condition?
	Their whole fucking splash page is just this.
	There's nothing else to click.
	We unequivocally condemn the behavior exhibited by Sam.
	What a fucking clown world we live in.
	I got a bunch of presses.
	Speaking of do the work, Tucker Carlson had a saying 1.5 about how he notices everyone's talking about the work.
	You have to do the work.
	But he doesn't hang out with enough criminals, so he doesn't know what it comes from.
	But let's just show it first, the montage.
	It isn't really over.
	The fact is, we still have work to do.
	The family does not get to have their loved one back.
	There is still work to be done.
	And while this is a step in the right direction, there's still a lot of work to be done.
	But this is just one stop.
	There is more work to be done.
	It's a feeling like, okay, this happened, now the work really begins.
	So we can't leave this moment or look away thinking our work is done.
	This moment is where the work begins.
	We've got a lot of work to do, but this feels like a beginning rather than work at the beginning.
	We have a lot of work to do in this country because systemic racism has infected us all.
	And we know that until we have a lot of violence, then we have work to do.
	There's a lot of work to be done.
	Don Lamond's the worst head of that group, right?
	Yeah.
	I mean, I can't fathom someone who tunes in to his show and it's like, oh, I got to, sorry, I can't go out.
	I got to watch Don Lamon tell me how to live my life.
	The other, Rachel Maddow, I can understand.
	Jake Tapper, sure, I get it.
	But I don't get this guy.
	I don't get how anyone could see that face as an authority on anything.
	Remember he said about Antifa?
	Antifa, anti-fascist.
	It's in the name.
	Liberty and justice for all.
	Everyone, read it.
	Okay, so here's what Tucker missed.
	Work, putting in the work is a gang term.
	You see it with biker gangs when they're prospects.
	They have their work to do.
	And work to do might be like transporting something, moving a guy's bike.
	Maybe it's something illegal.
	Maybe it's covering for someone.
	It's a bunch of shitwork.
	Same with prospects for frats, right?
	You have to vet them.
	And it's especially common in black street gangs.
	And you hear about it in prison.
	They're doing their work.
	You got to do the work.
	And it's a common vernacular.
	So that term, got to do the work, you're doing the work, work to be done, bled from gang culture into cool BLM woke talk.
	And then that was then appropriated by the Karens.
	And they started saying it because they wanted to sound down and cool, like their black friend who said it.
	And when she said it, she was actually, she was middle class and she was ripping it off from poor blacks.
	So now we have places like Best Buy and Walmart talking about doing the work, putting in work, using Crips and Bloods vernacular to sound cool.
	I mean, the clown levels just keep doubling on a daily basis.
	We have to start turning tricks.
	I mean, a lot of hoes want to turn.
	They're going to just do everything.
	Best Buy is going to put a cap in the ass of hate.
	And they're going to be knocking motherfuckers out.
	We really got to put in, we got to back it up on that gushy shit.
	And if we want to make progress with racial injustice.
	We are smoking equality blunts and getting high on the idea of all the work that we have to do together.
	If we don't clap back at racism, it's going to sun us.
	Oh, dude.
	That's not a joke.
	I bet you that somewhere.
	I bet there's a Nike like clap back against racism.
	Swoosh.
	Yeah.
	Clap back on hate.
	I love hate.
	I hate all day.
	I was seething with so much hatred at the airport, like at how bad everyone is at going through the fucking security, that I fucked up.
	And I didn't take my laptop out of my bag.
	And I had change in my pocket, so I slowed everyone down while seething at how incompetent everyone was.
	So my hate hurt.
	You know what the worst part is?
	Would you even care if you were allowed to be a, you know, like not banned on stuff?
	And like, you weren't so, you had to be publicly shamed and be like, you can't exist.
	I wouldn't care about other people if I was allowed to be my damn self.
	What are you talking about?
	Are you Joe Biden?
	I need a translator.
	You know, like, you're banned off.
	That's the fucking point.
	You can't live.
	You can't have Uber and stuff like that.
	So you're kicked out of the world.
	Yes, I'm canceled.
	That makes you more angry when you're looking around, like, look at all you other people.
	And they're, you know, they have the backing of Nike and Adidas.
	Yeah.
	And they're way more extreme.
	Right.
	Like, I just clip.
	It's in my racism thing.
	But here, where is it now?
	Yeah, go to 2-2.
	Free Titanya Turner.
	I hadn't heard of her before.
	I had to look her up.
	I just was looking at this video because it was a guy filming, and they call him a child molester, so he'll leave them alone.
	It's like, he molests children.
	She thought of it a little late.
	Free to Tanya Turner, right?
	Free Tia.
	Now she's on social media.
	She's not canceled.
	She can use Uber.
	That's not her, obviously.
	She's in jail, I guess.
	You know what she did?
	She drove her car through a pile of Trump supporters trying to kill them.
	Now, you talk about role reversal.
	James Fields, who killed Heather Heyer, he was successful at it.
	He got a life plus 419 years.
	This woman is a hero for attempting to do the same kind of murder.
	Does that sound like a reasonable thing to do?
	There she is.
	Trying to murder people.
	Free her.
	Free Tia.
	All right.
	Speaking of people who don't make sense, like Ryan, this is kind of old, but let's do a My Pet Biden segment.
	Boom, boom.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend my pet.
	Biden.
	President.
	He's big and blue and sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Okay, you've all seen this clip, but for posterity, we have to show it.
	1-7, just so it's in the books.
	Because I don't take anything for granted anymore.
	And shit gets deleted.
	We're helping others in this endeavor.
	It really is important.
	So stop.
	This is at some fucking climate summit that John Kerry put on.
	And they put grass on the table to show that the environment matters and there's like moss on the walls.
	And Biden's trying to do a joke about there's someone there from the Navajo Nation.
	And the joke is like, hey, and by the way, to the guy from the Navajo Nation, can I get my wife back, please?
	She's been there for like three or four days.
	She said, I said, when are you coming home?
	She goes, I'm staying a few more days.
	Give me my wife back, Navajos.
	Anyway, yeah, it's great that's what he's trying to do.
	Okay?
	Check out the execution of this bizarre bit.
	We're helping ourselves.
	We're helping others in this endeavor.
	It really is important.
	And I just want to say one thing to Bird of the Navajo Nation.
	Let my wife come home.
	She likes the Navajo Nation too much.
	She keeps being out there.
	She's out there for two days.
	She was out there before.
	I don't know.
	You know what I mean?
	I called her.
	I said, where are you?
	She said, I'm staying another day.
	So, you know, let her come home, okay?
	I don't want her, you know, that's too far for me to commute.
	I shouldn't be so.
	But anyway, look, this is about what we can do together.
	These t-shirt ideas are piling up.
	I didn't say.
	I don't consider.
	I think that's a noose idea.
	What?
	You could print it on a noose.
	I want to die after listening to that.
	Okay.
	You should be quiet for the rest of the show.
	I'm Bidening it up.
	You need a Biden.
	But the funny thing about that clip, too, is that whole conference was that.
	That wasn't an unusual moment.
	Go to 1.8 and try to make it through these videos.
	Try to understand him.
	Every once in a while, you are confronted as a government official, a business leader, a labor leader with a real problem.
	And it doesn't take you long to figure out how to turn it into an opportunity.
	One thing, John, everybody talked about today was, is there anything else you can think of that could create as many good jobs going in the middle of the 21st century?
	I mean, think about it.
	So I think he's talking about all these green ideas will lead to tons of jobs.
	They're stupid, fucking useless jobs that don't help the economy.
	Just like the government coming up with 500,000 people to dig holes and 500,000 people to fill holes.
	You're not helping the economy with those fake jobs, those stupid fake solar jobs would have the opportunity to create so many while doing so.
	I'm scared to say a number in case he says like 30 trillion.
	Every single one of you, the business leaders, labor leaders, foreign leaders, foreign leaders, leaders of other parts of the world.
	Every one of you.
	Do you catch what happened to them?
	He talked about this.
	He called them foreign leaders, and then he thought, oh, that's offensive.
	I think he's thinking of the word foreigner.
	Foreign leaders is not offensive.
	And then he goes on to clarify leaders of other...
	He's trying to be politically correct when he didn't fuck up.
	Foreign leaders is perfectly reasonable by anyone's standards.
	Jesus Christ.
	Mr. You okay in there?
	Foreign leaders.
	Leaders of other parts of the world?
	The same thing.
	Every one of you.
	Leaders of the world.
	We talked about this in terms of...
	What?
	Jobs.
	It's astounding.
	That's the mask.
	That's the mask.
	That's why.
	We talked about this in terms of jobs.
	This is the principle.
	This is astounding.
	This is the leader of the free world with a fucking mask dangling off his ear.
	Okay, go on.
	I think this is part of that.
	Foreign leaders.
	I didn't mean to say them.
	Not foreign leaders.
	That's Kyle Dunigan.
	No, no, it's in the same link.
	There should be three there.
	Well, every one of you, the last two days, have talked about the need for us to collaborate.
	I found it fascinating that, and I happen to agree with him, that, you know, President Putin and I have our disagreements, but he's talking about how you capture carbon from space.
	You've, John, you and I have talked about that.
	The whole notion that it makes overwhelming sense, as much as the President of Russia and I disagree that two big nations can cooperate to get something done, and this time get something done that benefits everybody.
	It's not like we're arguing whether or not one nation is going to be better benefited or worse impacted by what we do.
	Be better benefited by the people.
	So worse impacted.
	If we can do.
	Or worse, not one nation is going to be better benefited or worse impacted by what we do.
	Worse.
	And so I just think that if we can keep the focus on the jobs we're going to create, the economic opportunities...
	Because it's the only part of this plan you understand.
	And my country giving me a lot of credit for convening this.
	I wouldn't have convened this had I not had the overwhelming help, support, and initiative from former Secretary Kerry, my good friend.
	He feels this in his bones.
	This is to him something that is consequential.
	Did you call him former Secretary because you have no idea what his position is now?
	Wow.
	This is like with that general, what was his name, Austin?
	Where he said, previous, you know, general.
	He's now the Secretary of State, I believe.
	This is, he feels this in his bones.
	This is, to him, something that is consequential, and he knows a lot about it.
	So you're going to continue to see a lot of all of us here.
	But anyway, I just want to thank you, John, before this panel got shut out.
	And by the way, first person I went, I got in trouble because was Biden really going to do something about the environment?
	First person I went to was to Lonnie Stevens in IBW because I'm so sick and tired of people talking about how we get this done and don't care about jobs.
	And it was Lonnie who stepped up and labor stepped up.
	Okay, shut up.
	Businesses stepped up.
	So his job description is he is serving as the United States Special Presidential Envoy for Climate.
	Almost can't blame Joe for not knowing that, but at least write it down on a cue card.
	And I want to thank John, my special presidential envoy for climate.
	I guess the president should just call him an envoy for climate.
	Our envoy for climate, you could probably say next time, Joe.
	You don't have to say former Secretary of State.
	Wow.
	Speaking of John Kerry, the heiress, the heir to the mustard throne, Heinz, he's Heinz's bitch.
	He should be executed for treason.
	He was caught in Paris at this secret meeting with Iranian officials.
	This new administration loves Iran.
	They hate that Trump didn't like the Iranian deal where we paid them like $4 billion, didn't even get any hostages.
	So he reversed that.
	Now, Joe reversed it back.
	What the fuck is going on here?
	So those are the Iranian officials.
	And then that's looking a lot like old JK.
	And I'm not just kidding.
	But look at 2-0.
	Bridget, what's her name again?
	I think she was a terrorist attacker.
	Bridget Gabriel.
	Yeah, she says.
	Wait, can you move it over?
	Iran's foreign minister is claiming John Kerry told him about more than 200 Israeli covert ops taking place in Syria.
	Zaref claims Kerry even warned him about airstrikes.
	If this is true, it's probably the most egregious portrayal against an ally in U.S. history.
	Then they go, USS liberty is worse.
	If John Kerry is giving the Iranians information about American intelligence, that's treason.
	Treason is a capital offense.
	That's a death penalty.
	Now, can you imagine the fucking balls if we executed John Kerry?
	Electric chair.
	Every other country in the world would go holy shit.
	Again, it's unfathomable.
	You just can't picture it.
	I mean, we didn't even prosecute, we didn't kill John Walker Lynn to Taliban John.
	We don't, it's not something we do, but it is the law.
	Is this why you called him Heinz's bitch?
	Because in his bio, he says, Teresa's husband.
	Wow, what a bitch.
	And then finally, while we're just on the subject of world news, that Human Rights Watch is full of shit.
	They're all happy about the gay flag that's going up now.
	Every embassy, every American building, every government building is going to have an American flag and a rainbow flag.
	Diplomatic posts around the world to fly the pride flag at key moments to showcase U.S. support for LGBTQ rights.
	And this guy, Kenneth Roth of Human Rights Watch, right?
	He accepted a bribe from Saudi Arabia that said, here's a bunch of money.
	Never criticize the way we shit on faggots.
	And he's like, no problem.
	Show me the money.
	What does it say there?
	Human Rights Watch accepts Saudi funds.
	The executive director of Human Rights Watch, Ken Roth, what are you doing?
	Accepted a major donation from Saudi real estate tycoon by promising not to support advocacy of the LGBT community in the Middle East and North Africa.
	Not to support.
	Yeah, so just don't support our gays.
	Don't bring attention to our homophobia.
	And as of the victim of homophobia at the airport, I'm pissed off.
	All right, do we have a BLM bumper or do we just use the Antifa one?
	BLM Antifa is one thing.
	Okay, let's do it.
	Coming up, folks.
	Here, live.
	You've never experienced a white hero by your fucking army.
	I think we may have to split Antifa and BLM.
	I don't think they're friends anymore.
	Yeah.
	And they have different agendas.
	BLM is about, is a grift about making tons of money for the Marxist-Lesbian founders, and Antifa is just about smashing shit.
	That's it.
	Wait.
	There's no plan.
	What's this?
	This is from January.
	I don't think we've ever seen this.
	Let's try it out.
	And getting out of the car.
	Wow.
	I like in that scene, that guy, he goes, okay, okay, you won.
	If you've seen that fight, right?
	He does this Matrix.
	Car one?
	No.
	Yeah, he punches the guy.
	All he does is make his hat move.
	And then the guy goes, ha, ha, ha, ha.
	And then he goes to punch him, and the guy goes, zoom, matrix.
	And then you think it's over, but no.
	He gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter.
	Oh, that's amazing.
	I was hearing in boxing about this guy, who, Mexican kid, who was fighting this dude.
	And the coach can't see the guy, right?
	His opponent, because he's got his back to him.
	So he's only seeing his boxer.
	And then his boxer, the Mexican dude, steps back.
	And the coach is like, what are you doing?
	Move in, move in.
	And he goes, no, no, look, coach, look.
	And the guy was out cold, standing up.
	He was going, what?
	Completely unconscious.
	Which is what happened with Rufio, the thing they just showed.
	He had to push him over because he was just standing there stuck.
	All right.
	You need to get better heroes, guys.
	There's definitely bona fide victims of anti-black racism throughout history.
	When we finish this big research project, we're probably going to find a perfectly innocent, unarmed black man who was attacked by a racist cop.
	But it's not a pattern.
	The pattern in America today is fatherless black men getting in over their heads with stupid gun violence, reckless behavior, self-indulgent behavior.
	They're not poor.
	They keep saying, oh, they can't afford a lawyer and the rich always get different treatment.
	No, that's false.
	I've been rereading Heather McDonald's, The War on Cops, and there's so much data on there on blacks actually getting better treatment than whites in prison.
	But the media is petrified of sounding racist, so they don't cover these stories.
	Sure, there'll be a clip in the local news, but it only gains traction if it's a hands-up, don't shoot narrative.
	And as you know, he didn't have his hands up, and he didn't say don't shoot.
	But look at this guy, Ashton Howard.
	Here's a perfect example of American provda.
	Hey, Journal Sentinel, why did you crop Ashton Howard's photo this way in a report about alleged violent riding in Kenosha?
	So that's the picture, right?
	But they think it's racist to show that picture.
	So they crop out the gun.
	I mean, that says it all right there, right?
	This is a guy who whipped a cinder block at a cop and knocked him unconscious.
	I don't know if it was a cinder, it was a big rock.
	Let's see what it says there.
	Go into the other picture.
	And look at that, according to the U.S. Attorney's Office.
	Howard threw a heavy object at a Kenosha police officer who was attempting to move a damaged police vehicle.
	The officer was struck and lost consciousness.
	The prosecution statement didn't specify where or when the assault occurred.
	And he's not holding a gun in this picture.
	Or here's another one.
	Maybe we should make a new card for the hood is on fire.
	That's pretty cool.
	Like, look at these charts.
	So I found this when I was looking up James' book.
	This has nothing to do with his book.
	But number of articles mentioning diversity and inclusion from 2010, of course, when Trump gets near the office, they just go through the roof.
	Number of articles mentioning whiteness.
	Nothing really happening before 2010, but definitely on the increase.
	And then boom after 2010.
	Number of news articles mentioning unconscious bias shoots through the roof.
	Number of articles mentioning white privilege.
	Oh, we seem to be going down for a second there.
	So the media's narrative is not about truth.
	It's about fashion.
	And the fashionable thing right now is to bitch about horrible white people.
	2.6 of the hood is on fire.
	We have...
	And this might be a good thing about social media because as the press tries to control the narrative and black clergy, you have people on Twitter showing real videos and also retweeting shit like this and going,
	that's not true.
	They get shot more because they appear in the crime stats more and they get shot after mass shootings more because they resist arrest.
	Dylan Roof knew it was over.
	Last night I pulled an article, Counselor, that News One did in 2020.
	And it showed where eight white violent criminals who had committed mass murder and some of them resisted, all got arrested.
	Some of them resisted.
	All white.
	They all had killed somebody.
	Some of them had done mass killings.
	Some of them resisted, but they all got...
	Daylen Ruth got arrested.
	Daylen?
	Ruth?
	Killed folk.
	In the AME chair.
	And somebody said, got a sandwich.
	It was pies.
	You know where they got him a sandwich?
	Did we talk about this?
	Because I've been talking about this a lot in bars.
	I confuse my show with bars.
	Because the cops were petrified they'd fuck up this case.
	It's a very important case and they don't want some kind of mistrial where the defense says, oh, well, he was starving to death.
	He was abused.
	We were throwing the case out.
	So they're walking on eggshells after they get him.
	This is one of the biggest crimes of the 21st century.
	So, they're tiptoeing around.
	You want water?
	Okay, you want a burger?
	Okay, I don't want to fuck up.
	I have a demon from hell here.
	I don't want to fuck this up.
	They weren't like nuts shooting, dude.
	You want a burger?
	And how insane are you to think that?
	Like, they loved Dylan Roof.
	They brought him to McDonald's and they said, good work, son.
	Would you like some special house?
	French friends.
	Yeah, that's preach.
	He murdered folk and left the scene.
	They didn't get shot.
	They didn't get choked.
	They didn't get beaten.
	They didn't kill.
	But far too often, if you're black or brown, you can be unarmed and still be killed.
	Yeah, it's called charging at cops in a car.
	Are not on the spot executioners, judge and jury.
	Black people, just like everyone else, are innocent until proven guilty.
	And when we challenge and call for the truth and transparency, this is as he lies.
	Pravda, American Pravda.
	That's the name of this show.
	And the difference with the Soviets and us is the Soviets knew Pravda was bullshit.
	They would get the paper and go, oh, Jesus Christ, more fucking lies.
	But Americans watch our American Pravda and go, see, they're hunting black men for sport.
	Again, if cops were hunting black men for sport, I'd want them killed.
	But that scenario is so ridiculous that even if it was in a movie, you'd go, meh, even in the movie Dread, they don't hunt people who aren't murderers.
	And that's a very exaggerated, crazy comic book movie that is right on the edge of suspension disbelief, where you can still watch it and be like, yeah, that's kind of a rudd's futuristic, crazy, apocalyptic world.
	And his scenario is more absurd than Dread.
	It's what we hate.
	In the movie Dread, they are judge, jury, and executioner.
	I think that's their motto.
	And he brings the mind reader to that guy, and he says to her, did he kill him?
	Did he kill those people?
	And she says, I'm 98% sure.
	And he goes, that's not good enough.
	Correct.
	So his scenario.
	99% is not enough for a kill.
	Because 99% is not enough for a kill.
	And then, so his scenario, this preacher's scenario is more ridiculous than dread.
	Yeah, right.
	Oh, shit.
	Deplorable action that end up in deadly consequences.
	We've seen too many lives lost and situations with air fresheners in rearview windows.
	No, that was the case where the guy got pulled over and they said it was about an air freshener.
	It wasn't.
	And then he refused to comply and it kept getting more and more heated until he was shot.
	They keep doing this.
	They take the thing that initially had the guy pulled over like a broken taillight.
	Then that guy will get in a fight like Sandra Bland.
	She was pulled over for a broken taillight.
	She acted like a fucking lunatic.
	She eventually got arrested and she hanged herself in her cell days later.
	And she'd been attempting suicide for many years.
	She was severely mentally ill and manic depressive.
	But the narrative is killed for a broken taillight.
	And again, back to the movies.
	So we're watching a movie and these cops go, check it out.
	That Negro's got a broken taillight.
	Fuck you, bitch.
	Like if you were watching in a movie, it would be like Redemption Day.
	You'd have to turn it off.
	Yeah, it's always the Lucy cigarettes, the air freshener.
	Yeah, killed selling cigarettes.
	Jogging.
	Killed for jogging.
	We're getting murdered just by going for a jog.
	Did anyone really believe he was jogging 10 miles from his home?
	Situations that began with air fresheners in rearview windows.
	Or allegedly spending a fake $20 bill on selling cigarettes on the street.
	Or because a warrant is served.
	This is why the family are saying they must see this.
	This is made up.
	So they know the truth.
	They can handle the truth.
	And here's why it's dangerous, too.
	We just, I mean, I'm repeating myself, but if you're going to get shot for a broken taillight, you might as well go in a blaze of glory.
	So you're putting black people in danger with this shit.
	Wait, what do you got up there?
	The air freshener thing?
	Police shot man over air freshener violation.
	Now that was the woman who thought her gun was a taser.
	Which again is more affirmative action.
	Here's what's going on that you won't see outside of local news.
	2-7.
	Pregnant teen in the hood.
	The hood is on fire.
	Shot dead.
	And we don't know why.
	I think it was the brother of the baby's daddy.
	Homicide arrest.
	The pregnant victim, Jaylen Quinones, was just 18 years old.
	Her baby girl was delivered afterward, and the family says the infant is fighting for her life tonight.
	Fox Live's Lindsey Watts joins us live from Upper Marlborough.
	How insane is that?
	Delivering a baby from a dead woman.
	Whoa.
	No thanks.
	Cutting her open?
	Cutting her cadaver open, and then there's a premature baby.
	We got her, we got her.
	Pumping her little tiny heart.
	Shot, and the last you see of them, they are alive and they are running away.
	This is still very difficult to watch.
	Just such a cold-blooded crime.
	And it left a baby girl without a mother and a father in jail.
	Pregnant until I turn around, chick.
	Pregnant.
	Jalen Quinonis was excited to have her baby.
	A friend shared this TikTok video.
	What are you doing, man?
	She got so many pictures, so many videos, you know, of her little belly bump.
	Jalen's sister, her mother, and friends gathered where this young woman spent her last moments alive.
	No matter.
	Talk about how poor they are on the hood.
	They're all wearing designer gear.
	And when you go to a mall, It's a two-hour lineup at Gucci where the cheapest thing is a $2,500 handbag.
	And it's nothing but black people.
	And it's a two-hour lineup.
	I've noticed that all over America.
	Anyway.
	It was just before 5 in the afternoon Tuesday on Southern Avenue near the DC-Prince George's County line.
	You see a group hanging out around a car.
	People walking by in the middle of the city.
	I guess it's a Saturday because no one's at work.
	Just behind them, two women cross Quinn Street.
	About 15 seconds later, you see them come running back across the street as if someone called or texted them.
	They go up to the people around the car, greeting them, giving hugs.
	Keep eyes on the man in the white hoodie.
	The women aren't there long.
	They walk back the way they were headed down Southern Avenue.
	Police say that's when Malik Johnson raises a gun and opens fire.
	The women running despite their injuries.
	We'll replay it back when the shot is fired.
	And the weird part is, no one gives a shit.
	And then he just casually go, oh shit.
	And then he wanders around.
	No one tackles him.
	No one believed to be the father of Jalen's child.
	Police say he was there at the scene and is charged as an accessory.
	The newborn remains hospitalized.
	She's fighting for her life.
	A third person arrested, Bianca McDuffie, is also charged as accessory to murder.
	Investigators are not revealing if she was here too.
	The violence have increased in French George's County and in Washington, D.C. We have to do something about it.
	The hood is on fire.
	I bet he had someone kill her because he didn't want to pay child support.
	Maybe.
	Not that he would have.
	There has to be work to put in.
	You got to put in some work.
	You got to put in the work.
	2-8.
	Yeah, you have to have a job to pay child support.
	Lots of people don't get child support.
	Rich people, too.
	I know finance guys who, or I know a woman whose husband's in finance.
	He used to be rich.
	He caught a big, sweet deal for child support back when he was loaded.
	Finance ain't what it used to be.
	And now he's broke and she's not getting any child support at all.
	You know what I've noticed with memes now?
	People like Pesobic?
	They say, proud boys are out of control.
	Look at that.
	Is that a man who ran up there and hit a woman?
	There's kids there.
	Throwing a chair is a real gamble.
	I remember my friend Mike, we were all watching TV late at night.
	A bunch of people were there drinking beers.
	And he just gets up from his chair and says, get out.
	And he throws it over his shoulders behind him and goes to bed.
	And he hits our friend Christine in the face.
	Oh, my God.
	Splits her lip open.
	He doesn't know any of this.
	He goes to bed.
	We have to take her to the hospital to get her stitched up.
	It was like she had a hair lip.
	She was cut up like this.
	And the Iranian doctor was like, you're going, he's like, doctor now, why do you lie to me?
	And he goes, you're going to be very, very ugly.
	No.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	And so she said the funniest thing.
	As he was stitching her, we were all there, making sure she's okay.
	And she goes, don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
	She bombed?
	Yeah, we were all pretty drunk.
	Or how about this?
	This made it to the post.
	Attacking cops in broad daylight.
	He whips them with some sort of plastic stick.
	Yeah, I don't know what that was.
	Did you see that?
	Kendo stick or something?
	Ooh, I bet that fucking kills.
	Whack.
	It's like those metal batons.
	You don't need any force behind it.
	It might be one of those things.
	Yeah.
	Or a similar concept.
	Where it sort of cuts you.
	Yeah, you can just tap and then you're...
	He was caught.
	I think I have that here.
	His name is...
	I think he's African.
	Akil A-K-E-E-L-E Morgan.
	Akil Morgan.
	I sure do.
	Isn't that weird how he didn't run away, too?
	It's like there's no bail.
	So they're just trying stuff.
	Criminals are just trying things.
	What if I, I don't know, whip a cop with a stick?
	You ever whipped a cop with a stick?
	No, I never tried that.
	I just tried it the other day.
	Aren't you in jail?
	No, there's no bail.
	I'm fine.
	It's cool.
	You should do it.
	A plastic stick.
	He seems smart.
	I look like an anime.
	Yeah, that kid loves anime.
	He's got anime clothes, and he ran like Naruto.
	Those are anime clothes?
	Yeah.
	What's around his waist?
	Is that like a dress?
	Yeah, like a dressy type of thing.
	Like ninja, pseudo ninja, modern, hype beast tech gear ninja.
	Oh.
	Look, he doesn't even run away.
	When he runs like Naruto with the one hand behind him.
	I don't know what you're talking about, but that's why it's good to have young people on your shows.
	Apparently, Naruto is a guy.
	Naruto.
	So you look at all this, right?
	And you go, where's American Pravda?
	Where's the press on this?
	Why aren't they reporting on these things outside of some minor local coverage?
	Why doesn't it become, I mean, where's the free Titania for that cop?
	Where's the parades?
	Where's the attention?
	Where's the 60 minutes?
	Where's the New York Times?
	And you look at, you go check in on them and they say, none of this is happening.
	Don't believe your lion eyes.
	Check out 3-0.
	And luckily, Paul Krugman over at the Times got ratioed for this insane fucking thing to say.
	Okay, click on it.
	Not the Chong.
	And then move it over a bit.
	Paul Krugman is such a douche.
	In reality, given that GOP supporters believe that rampaging mobs burned and looted major cities, we believe that.
	Yeah, I believe that.
	I also believe that squirrels were furiously gathering nuts all summer in order to store them for hibernation.
	I also believe it rained somehow without the people actually living in those cities noticing.
	What?
	So no one in Minneapolis or Portland noticed that anything was on fire?
	Getting them to see facts about something as abstract as the deficit is a hopeless cause.
	How about that quote?
	So if we are so stupid that we think there was riots, there's no way you could explain the deficit to us.
	That's way too abstract.
	You're a lost fucking cause, Paul.
	And now let's look at some of the retweets.
	If only we had some drones to take pictures.
	Go down.
	Don't worry, I wrote a poem.
	Keep going.
	That's boring.
	Oscar ratings down.
	Wait, where are you going?
	Useful is.
	Paul Krugman, useful it is.
	Let me see more.
	That's all for the rest of the world.
	Oh, that's all.
	Well, go maybe click on the thread.
	Krugman's.
	Because what I read was people saying, my house burned down.
	I saw it burning down.
	Are you denying the largest insurance?
	That's a good one.
	Are you denying the largest insurance payout for rioting on record?
	Or just saying that because the corporate media, your employer, didn't report it, it didn't happen.
	Who could possibly argue?
	I sat in my Chicago apartment and watched people light cars on fire, fire guns at people in high-rises, and loot hundreds of local businesses twice last summer.
	So yeah, I noticed.
	So yeah, I know.
	Denying what happened last summer is extremely cruel to everyone affected, and you don't have to be a GOP supporter to observe reality.
	I guess you couldn't see Minneapolis and St. Paul burning from Princeton.
	And then that awesome picture, fiery but mostly peaceful protests.
	I can't believe people thought there was riots recently.
	How stupid, right?
	There were no riots.
	And there was no, no cities were looted.
	There was no looting in New York City and Soho.
	Absolutely not.
	What that is, you're seeing someone, a lot of littering.
	They need to clean up better at Target.
	And that, you're seeing someone in a rush.
	And that is someone smoking cigarettes through a fire extinguisher.
	And those guys are just guarding the store.
	They're just security guards.
	Look, everyone's hustling and bustling at Target.
	Target had a great day that day.
	And yeah, when you sell a lot of stuff, there's going to be some litter.
	Not looters, it's litter.
	They're litterers.
	Yeah.
	Literally.
	Yeah.
	Saw a good one.
	I don't want, like, well, maybe I'm just a different kind of person.
	I'm an old man.
	But, like, I don't want anything at Target.
	Like, a lamp.
	Did you really need a lamp?
	Nobody needs anything.
	Need a disability.
	You go to Target and you get like one thing.
	Like, your son needs a putter.
	And then maybe your wife buys a pot.
	But like, to just grab random shit?
	Shopping look like if you could walk into a store, grab what you want, and just go.
	Welcome to Amazon Go.
	No lines, no checkouts, no registers.
	See?
	Really there.
	Yeah, you just get them from the truck.
	That's even stupider because you're getting an opaque cardboard box.
	Once you've got everything you want, you can just go.
	Amazon go.
	I'm going to look up the past things I got on Amazon.
	And you can see how unbelievably stupid it is to steal those boxes.
	Amazing.
	Uh-oh.
	Did I get kicked off of Amazon?
	No fucking way.
	Uh-oh.
	They might be seeing live.
	Okay, sign-in attempt.
	Yes, I'm attempting to sign in.
	I think I'm logged in here.
	I approve this.
	Okay.
	You're logged in here.
	Okay, few.
	Casio watch?
	It's not that I would be totally crushed.
	I'd figure out a way to do it.
	But yeah, don't read my shit out loud.
	So, a bunch of stuff for my daughter's guitar, like a stand, a guitar stand for an acoustic guitar, a watch, a cheapo Casio watch for my son, some black dye.
	I guess my daughter's dyeing one of her shirts.
	A little cheap sewing kit, you know, those little tiny portable ones in a storage box.
	Some makeup.
	25 yards, white lace, trim roll patterns, lace ribbon for sewing, making, gift wrapping, and bridal wedding decorations.
	Like, do you want this shit?
	Manic, manic, a blow dryer.
	Boy, my daughter's sure spending a lot of money on fucking Amazon.
	Tights.
	You know what?
	Want to hear something fucking embarrassing?
	I buy my wife lingerie, and sometimes I forget that I bought it.
	Sometimes it's a drunk thing.
	And I get this corset in the mail, this lacy corset with see-through tits.
	And I'm like to my daughter, I go, this is not appropriate.
	You're not wearing that.
	And she goes, I don't want that.
	And I went, well, what the fuck?
	And then I went, oh, shit.
	It's for my wife.
	Oh, no.
	It was bought to be inappropriate.
	That's double embarrassing.
	Okay, let's use the mind eraser from Men in Black and try to get on with our day, sweetie.
	All right, let's jump to COVID now.
	Aha.
	Which has a bumper.
	Is it the China one?
	If your language requires a paintbrush to write, it sucks.
	Your language is stupid.
	Fucking Chinese.
	Chinese virus comes from China.
	Chinese asshole.
	Just keep your hands off my dog.
	So I think we all agree that China made this On purpose, it got out of hand, and they were trying out chemical warfare.
	I wonder if the people who made it like when they see all the deaths in India right now, they go, Whoa, this uh this got a little crazy.
	I'm fucking freaking out.
	Hey, Towning Chur, are you freaking the fuck out?
	India?
	That never occurred to me.
	I thought we'd make a few people sick.
	It would be like cholera or something.
	I don't know.
	What's that other one we had?
	The bubonic plague thing?
	Oh, they had like a SARS bird flu.
	Ebola.
	Ebola.
	I thought it'd be like a little Ebola.
	Fuck, man.
	I had a nightmare last night.
	But go first to 3-3.
	So, Tucker came out.
	A lot of Tucker on today's show.
	And it's very simple.
	Here is the smoking gun.
	The five leading members of the Association for Aerosol Research, these are the people who, the top experts in the world, they're over in Germany.
	Or at least they gave a letter to the German government.
	And these guys study the transmission of disease through the air.
	They said, the transmission of SARS-CoV-2 viruses takes place indoors almost without exception.
	Transmission outdoors is extremely rare and never leads to cluster infections as can be observed indoors.
	In other words, if you wear a mask outside, you're a fucking loser.
	Stop doing it.
	It's bizarre.
	And Tucker goes even farther.
	He goes, ridicule people who wear masks outside.
	Can we show some of it?
	Masks prevent intimacy and human contact.
	If I can't see your face, I can't know you.
	Masks are for the guilty.
	They're signifiers of shame and submission.
	Until recently, many jurisdictions had laws against wearing masks in public.
	Only Klansmen and armed robbers wore masks.
	The rest of us showed our face.
	We were free people.
	But then we gave in to the demands of people like Eric Garcetti, and because we did give in, this grotesque version of Halloween went on for more than a year, and it's still going on.
	Not even Tony Fauci still pretends that masks are medically necessary.
	Instead, masks are purely a sign of political obedience, like Kim Il-sung pins and Pyongyang.
	We wear them because we have to.
	The only people who wear masks voluntarily outside are zealots and neurotics.
	So they're trying to get him canceled now.
	Folks who have plastic Barbies glued to shitty paintings and literally nail a troll to a board, don't, I would give up on getting Tucker canceled.
	It's not happening.
	He's the best thing that ever happened to Fox News.
	I'm speaking totally financially.
	He's got the best ratings out of any news show on the air right now.
	I think he's up to like 3.2 million.
	That's really good.
	So fuck off and give up on that.
	You can harass their advertisers and that will temporarily work, but Fox doesn't care and nor does Tucker.
	So he'll have shitty ads for like three weeks and then it'll go back to good ads and car ads and all that shit.
	That's all they do now.
	They woke corporations is they capitulate temporarily.
	I mean they will fire anyone you want if he's not making Tucker Carlson money for them.
	But they'll just wait it out.
	Little China Girl.
	I saw this sketch some black chick did about our future, and it's so much better than the quality of most professional comedy sketches these days.
	It's funny.
	The average, the normal every man or every black woman is way better at jokes than Colbert, Fallon, all these sheep who get paid millions to bore us to death.
	Wait, is the volume on?
	Warning.
	A cough has been detected.
	For your safety and the safety of others, authorities have been dispatched.
	Now we'll be working out shortly.
	You will be taken to the nearest quarantine facility where you will be tested and monitored.
	Please remain at your location.
	Unauthorized movement is strongly prohibited.
	We're all in this together.
	I like how she brought rum with her.
	That was great.
	Yeah.
	It made me think, wait a minute, are black women funny again?
	And then I saw a show called Black Lady Sketch Comedy.
	And here's why this show isn't funny.
	And that previous one was.
	That previous woman you saw decided to do a funny sketch because she's a funny person.
	It wasn't based on her race or her gender.
	It was based on her funniness.
	This show, however, is affirmative action in comedy.
	And Ryan and I checked it out and it fucking sucks.
	Comedy is very, like, try affirmative action in skateboarding.
	Skateboarding is a very rare talent to be able to do an Ollie kick flip or ride a half pipe.
	If you started going only black woman skaters, which they're kind of trying to do, right?
	HBO has a show.
	Leslie Arfin does it.
	Executive produced it where it's all female skaters.
	They found all three of them in the world and they have their own show.
	But if you generally did that with skateboarders and said, all right, this next skateboard competition is going to be all Irishmen, people would die.
	And that's what happens with this show.
	They're dying out there.
	Oh, this is the opening sketch.
	This is the Piesta Résistance.
	Spooky Fog.
	Let's go with Eerie.
	Eerie Fog.
	Okay, Eerie Fog.
	All right.
	Lots of horror jokes I noticed with these guys.
	So is she a slave?
	What era is this?
	I don't know.
	It's so surreal, this joke.
	The only funny black woman in comedy are keen people.
	The fog is coming.
	We better run.
	Wait, what's the fog?
	No, we don't know what the fog is.
	Do I look like a fogologist to you?
	Because you're Virgo.
	You always be knowing some random shit.
	But Shanti, when has a mysterious fog ever been good?
	Has that ever in the history of the world?
	He goes, do I look like a fogologist?
	Picked you up from the airport, or text you when your man was in the car?
	No, let's go.
	Come on.
	Don't act like I'm the one out here asking dumb questions, okay?
	You see what your problem is?
	You're not a good motivator, okay?
	You know I don't respond well to negative reinforcement.
	Maybe if you took a more amicable tone.
	Okay, so the fog is bad.
	Not a joke.
	So now you realize those two people, stop, stop, stop.
	Now you realize those two people, they weren't slaves, they weren't from another era, they were skin cells on an ashy flight attendant's arm.
	And the fog was dryness.
	And that forest was her skin.
	So then she puts lotion on, and then the skin cells feel good.
	Denais' paper cut was a sinkhole.
	Go back to see what they say.
	Is that like the time when.
	This is just like that time you thought Denae's paper cut was a sinkhole.
	What?
	Why is the cocoa butter named the fog?
	He thinks it's funny.
	You like that, Joker?
	Why is the cocoa butter named the fog?
	That's like bug spray being called the mosquito.
	The fog is dryness in this metaphor.
	It's bad for you.
	So you wouldn't put the bad thing on the name of your fucking cocoa butter.
	Then they're relieved.
	I mean, I know you watch that and you go, well, at least it's original.
	Yeah, that wasn't boring, making two people's skin cells.
	You know what the acting is like, or the interaction is like Disney movies.
	That's all that is.
	There's Disney acting when there's like, like one of them's like the oblivious genie.
	Like the genie's like, oh, I don't worry about anything.
	And the other one's a panicker.
	Yeah, you're right.
	And they do that.
	Nickelodeon will do that because they're talking to children.
	They have to over emote.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's like anime face.
	I noticed sitcoms, Nickelodeon sitcoms, the jokes are sold really hard with really loud laugh tracks.
	What was that one where they're all sitting around in a room and they're talking about, can you still like something if it's bad?
	Like Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite, but can you still watch his things?
	And I'm watching it going, this is just a normal, rational conversation.
	It's not funny.
	It's a podcast topic.
	Yeah, like, can you enjoy Michael Jackson when you think that he raped kids?
	That's interesting.
	Okay, okay, my turn.
	Never have I ever stolen wet women except for the moment.
	Never have I ever.
	That one we called.
	That one we predicted.
	This is the strong black woman thing.
	That one was an elusive joke about people who don't want to be badass bitches no more.
	Laverne Cox is in it, of course.
	Here we go.
	Okay, turn this up.
	Tell me how this is funny.
	It's just interesting.
	Okay, let me get this straight.
	So MJR Kelly Gosby, canceled.
	But I need clarity on the particulars.
	Like, yes, Mel Gibson is a racist asshole, but I can still watch Lethal Weapon for Danny Glover, right?
	And I fapped to Danny Glover too, so.
	It's like a school group project, okay?
	If one person fucks up, everyone gets canceled.
	Canceled for how long, though?
	What about Mike Tyson Mysteries?
	If he did the time, the cartoon is fine.
	The cartoon is not fine.
	Okay, what if I'm trying to get into an empty house, but the family forgot to turn off the TV?
	So when I get inside, naked, gun is on, but it's the scene with the- You know what I think?
	I bet she grew up white, her black dad wasn't around, and she hams up her black accent for currency.
	Yes.
	Because you notice she is the whitest-looking person there and speaks the blackest.
	She's the most versatile, too.
	Because she could ran in and play a really good white girl, also.
	Which is another character of hers?
	No?
	Yeah, she was like in that whole bad bitch sketch.
	She was a super white girl.
	Oh.
	Kind of thing.
	Well, the burglary is iffy, but OJ on TV?
	Turn around and walk right out.
	Wait a minute.
	Ashley has R. Kelly on her phone.
	Oh, I believe I can fly.
	Do you now ask me?
	I believe you alive.
	Julie.
	No, it was the Jessica Simpson cover.
	You should have just said it was R. Kelly.
	Okay, so we playing like that.
	Robin, where's your phone?
	Oh, you think I'm dumb enough to take your phone and not hide mine?
	Ha ha.
	Quentin's dumb enough.
	Ooh, is this a gift of John Travau to look and confuse you?
	What is this a joke here?
	I zoned out.
	What's up?
	Yeah, these are people hanging out.
	Come on.
	And then she drops her phone.
	Oh, she broke it.
	This is the punchline, by the way.
	Bitch.
	Huh?
	You want to die.
	It's not a joke.
	That's just normal friends hanging out with an intelligent question.
	How does the artist's art affect your enjoyment of it when the artist is problematic?
	Stone-face discussion.
	That was sub-like Nickelodeon had a sketch show called All That.
	Like, if I was sitting at that with those girls, I would be going like this.
	Would anyone be laughing?
	No.
	That was podcast material.
	All right.
	That's all we got for the news, folks.
	Let's jump over to the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Oh, some woman sent me a letter and said, you keep calling it 650-pound life.
	It's 600-pound life.
	Okay.
	And then I got talking to her and I had her send nudes.
	And she sent nudes that were so pornographic that I had her, I called the police.
	That's good.
	No, just kidding.
	But I said to her, how did you hear about this show?
	Because I don't know who this audience is.
	Like, I get that young men liked my YouTube videos because I said, you're not pieces of shit.
	Don't believe the hype.
	But then we have all these housewives who watch the show.
	How did they, did they follow me on Twitter?
	How did they end up here?
	Folks at home, maybe you could email and say how you heard about censored.tv.
	Right.
	What got you here?
	Because I'll get like an email from Indiana and it's a 45-year-old housewife with three kids.
	I'm like, how did you get it?
	How did I get across your radar?
	650.
	And so I asked her, and she goes, We saw some videos of you on YouTube around the 2016 election, been following you ever since.
	Question.
	Our 15-year-old son thinks you're hilarious, but do you think he's too young to watch your show or read your book?
	That's a good question.
	This was sent to my personal account, Ryan.
	You're not going to find it.
	Oh, I see.
	The book is fucking raunchy.
	Like, I wrote it when I had just one baby and no other kids.
	And there's orgies in there and fucking cock sucking and shit and cum eating.
	And sometimes if I'm hungover and fragile, I'll worry about my kids reading it and just go, what have I done?
	But then later I go, it's just the truth.
	Nobody cares.
	Yeah.
	People like that type of shit.
	Every weird thing I find out about people that I know, you like it, right?
	You know, I'm talking about kids, Ryan.
	No, I know.
	You're really often.
	But you as a kid, if you found out stuff about your kids.
	My dad was at orgies, I'd puke.
	And if it was a female, I'm watching me more inclined to be a slut when there's this book I wrote where all the sluts are awesome.
	Oh.
	But I don't want my kids reading it until they're maybe 19, 20.
	But as far as your kids, I think 15 is pretty adult.
	I don't think there's anything.
	Like my daughter is almost 15.
	Well, she's 14.
	But I don't want to watch anything that's sexual around her.
	And if we watch a horror movie, I know that she's going to be sleeping in our bed for three days, so that's a pain in the ass.
	But I don't think there's anything I wouldn't let her watch at 15.
	You're basically an adult then, right?
	Yeah, for the most part.
	You're going to find stuff on your own, you know, so it's already out there.
	And this show isn't so bad.
	Nah.
	In fact, we don't show porn on this show.
	No, we don't.
	If there's a scene, remember we went to crazy shit.com, which I'm addicted to, and the fighting on there and stuff is fun to watch, and they make funny compilation videos.
	But there's a lot of pornography on it, so we don't show it on this show.
	Right.
	Or we'll warn if there's boobs.
	That was too much of indecence.
	We do swear.
	I think every kid has to move out at 18, right?
	What are you doing?
	It's so you get a bunch of roommates.
	And when you get roommates, kids, if you're in a house with like five guys, here is the key to the dishes.
	You have a nail above the sink, and it has the names of all the guys who live there.
	Gavin, Ryan, Joey, Mike, Benny.
	And they're all in front of each other.
	If you see your name at the front, these are your dishes.
	I don't care if it's one spoon or they're piled to the ceiling and you haven't been there in two days.
	Sorry, that's your problem.
	So then you do all the dishes, put them away, and now you take your name and it goes back to the end of the line.
	So what ends up happening is people don't want to let dishes pile up.
	So they see their name there and they're like, holy fuck.
	And if say there's like a cup and a bowl, and every time I say this to people, they go, well, just do your own dishes.
	That doesn't work in a house of dudes.
	People don't do their shit.
	Dishes pile up and it's disgusting.
	They pop the ceiling.
	Remember with Nail and I, they think there was a rat in there.
	So you see your name and you panic and you go, fuck, I got to get back to the end of the line.
	And say you're lucky and you caught it with just a mug and a cereal bowl.
	Boom.
	Wash that up, put those back.
	You got like probably three days to not worry about dishes at all.
	But you got to move.
	This sounds very gay.
	No, it doesn't.
	It's a good idea.
	Fuck you, Tony.
	Fucking Tony.
	Fucking Tone.
	Fuck you, Tone.
	Oh, what the fuck?
	Yeah.
	Fuck Tony Soprano.
	I almost had to turn last night's show off when you watched like three clips you've already watched and commented in depth in previous episodes and fucking watch them again with no clues.
	You already commented on them.
	You give viewers so much shit for it.
	I'm sorry.
	I was in LA yesterday.
	This was a bank show we had recorded many weeks ago.
	I didn't want to have no show and I didn't feel like recording an extra show on Friday.
	So what you saw was basically a rerun.
	Yeah.
	And we actually, I remember we were, you know, I want to do a green screen of this.
	So we went in depth, but this we did not go in depth.
	And I thought there was actually new material there.
	It's like bonus features.
	But I guess we heard that guy.
	Some of the shows will be shot.
	Apparently you lost your mind and became Ryan yesterday when you covered two videos you've done in the past.
	Yes, thank you.
	I'm so sorry.
	Different takes, I promise.
	I watched it.
	Man brings frying pan and plays whack and antifa game.
	This is the oldest.
	I know what this clip is.
	It's in Canada.
	Christian thing.
	It's not a frying pan, it's a helmet.
	And this is from a million years ago.
	We showed it.
	The guy with the cigarette was arrested for that.
	Frying pan.
	Frying pan.
	Thanks, Kim.
	Turtle with AIDS and face transplant burn victim.
	Have they been seen in the same room at the same time before?
	See evidence attached.
	Oh.
	And he has my father.
	It's rude.
	With a man.
	I understand there's similarities there, but if you look closely, you can see my dad has eyes.
	And that necklace thing.
	He never wears that.
	Yeah, my dad breathes out his mouth, not his neck.
	Right.
	But I see your point.
	And the facial air is way different.
	That guy got a face, by the way.
	He can't see, but he got himself a face.
	Because we have to see.
	Hey, Faggot and Gavin, you were looking for Mark Hill, the fag that wrote that cracked article?
	Here he is.
	He also has his own website that is mind-blowingly cool.
	Who is this guy?
	He looks like Mark Pussy.
	This is probably regarding yesterday's bank show.
	Oh, right.
	Mind-blowingly cool site, Me Hill.
	Mark Hill.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	Confessions of an average boy, little lost things.
	Okay.
	It took me five seconds to find him on crack.com, so Ryan sucks at his job, which you already know.
	I'm sorry, we don't know what the fuck is going on here.
	So I don't remember them part of the show.
	F off, better than Spacey.
	Good morning, gentlemen.
	Imagine Cuomo having sex during your own sex is better than Kevin Spacey.
	You may vomit is the caveat.
	Yeah.
	To be good at it, if you will.
	That crosses the line.
	I'll try Cuomo.
	You've done Cuomo before?
	I could picture it.
	It crosses the line.
	Do you even usually have to do that to hold out?
	But I could imagine Cuomo being very...
	Well, you young people fuck so much that you don't care.
	When you're married and the planets align and you have the house to yourself and you finally have a chance to fuck, you can't blow it.
	It's a very important event.
	Because that might ruin your next time, too.
	He's like, ah, that last one sucked.
	I'm not going to do it again.
	Hey, Gavin, Rygai, local radio station host comedian got fired for an inappropriate tweet.
	Could be an interesting addition to the lineup.
	And what was his racist tweet?
	Show transcript.
	What was the...
	Users on Twitter capture screenshots.
	Have you got it?
	No, I don't see the thing.
	Users on Twitter.
	Just that text there.
	Capture screenshots of the post and share them throughout social media.
	The image showed that Baker wrote guilty above a gif of a group of dancing black native men in loincloths.
	That doesn't sound very bad.
	Does it?
	He joined it with an action that was intended to disempower and aid an action that was intended to mock.
	It was a direct racist comment.
	Fucking Minneapolis.
	No, it's saying it.
	He's saying divisive things.
	You got to show this shit.
	Yeah.
	Well, here, there's the video of it.
	Is it working for you?
	No, how about you?
	No.
	Nice sight.
	That was one of my rules back at Vice Days.
	If we're talking about something, no matter what it is or how offensive it is, we have to show it and get good at it, if you will.
	Including the Muhammad cartoons.
	Soccer in this case, why girls shouldn't play football or soccer in this case, but this goes for any contact sport.
	I love this part.
	Male footballers were most often injured colloding with another player, while female players were most often injured from contact with the ball or go post.
	Let's see it.
	Yeah.
	I've noticed this with women in general when they do man stuff.
	Like on a movie set, they're a PA, and they'll always twist their ankle or something.
	Or in the military, we spend all this money training these people, and then they get hurt.
	And we can't use them.
	It was a waste of money.
	Good morning.
	I'm okay.
	It's a 10-minute clip.
	Not sure why we're going to use it.
	Hello, Gary.
	Oh, that's not us.
	Hi, Gabriel Myan.
	I saw this video a while back and thought you could add some good commentary if you haven't already.
	And this.
	We all touched shit before.
	Oh, my God.
	Oldest clip in the world, Maria.
	Women always send us old clips.
	Warning graphic, be careful.
	That's the guy who doesn't know how to wipe his ass.
	Right.
	We've all seen that a million times.
	So the Democrats started going into Vietnam in the early 60s.
	Don't show this picture yet, Ryan.
	And the one who really got us into that shit, though officially we did not get in Vietnam until LBJ, South Vietnam was run by a Catholic.
	This is what the assassination of President Dinh Diem being assassinated on orders of JFK looked like.
	JFK kept killing our allies and installing leaders who were worse than the last.
	JFK really did nothing good for our nation.
	Let's be honest, he's only remembered because he looks nice.
	As much as I loathe LBJ, the space program was always his baby, even when he was a Senate president.
	JFK simply looked pretty and made a nice speech.
	And then we have some guy assassinated with blood everywhere.
	What's his head on?
	Oh, a bowl?
	Weird.
	That was a weird one.
	Dakota.
	I recently watched Gav's talk in front of the SPLC and it was great per usual.
	I do have some words of advice, though.
	Albamanians don't want to see a rich guy from New York give a talk dressed as boss hog.
	They think you're making fun of them.
	These blue-collar guys appreciate authenticity and have such little tolerance for bullshit.
	You'd be much better received if you were just yourself.
	Anyway, I like your new sunglasses.
	Yeah, but I wasn't really trying to win over Alabamians.
	It was a press conference for the internet that happened to take place in Alabama.
	But I guess if it goes to trial, the jury will be Alabamanians.
	Alabama Indians.
	That's a hard word to say.
	Let's try it.
	Pronounce Alabama.
	Alabamanians.
	Alabamanians.
	Oh, I already figured it out.
	Alabamians.
	Oh, Alabamians.
	Alabamians.
	Alabamanians?
	She just said Alabamanians.
	Yeah, but that's what you said.
	No.
	First time?
	Alabamanians.
	Alabamians.
	Alabamians.
	Yes.
	Alabamians.
	Hey, Gav, have you checked out the Detroit post-punk band Proto-Martyr?
	They've been around 10 years now.
	Maybe you'll enjoy them.
	And in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
	Jump in the middle.
	Oh, they're fine.
	This guy keeps telling me to watch Mike Lee's short film, A Sense of History.
	He sent that email about 50 times.
	Russell, I'm never reading your emails on the show again because you nagged me too much.
	And we already showed that fucking movie.
	Might be ancient Chinese secret, but this is the power of one curious man.
	Let me guess.
	It's a viral video from 100 years ago.
	4,000 years ago.
	4,000 years ago.
	Stonehenge.
	Nobody knows how they did it.
	How henge in his Flint, Michigan backyard to prove it.
	Wally Wallington's not a scientist, but he knows a thing or two about moving rocks.
	Wow, that's a 300-pound block.
	That's a 1600-pound block.
	Not too difficult.
	He's a retired construction worker whose passion is moving heavy items.
	Like a rule.
	His seats always draw a crowd, mostly family.
	I thought he's crazy.
	Who cares about moving blocks around?
	But then, when you look at the magnitude of the weights that he's moving around, it is really impressive.
	He's not used to any equipment or anything.
	In playing with blocks, Wally thinks he's discovered how Stonehenge was moved.
	This is my first Stonehenge arch I permanently put in place.
	This is three blocks, they weigh over a ton each.
	It's all based on a very simple technique.
	I thought my simple explanation for this, to move a block about the weight of a minivan, would be to place a stone underneath it.
	And once I balance on it, I can spin it.
	Of course, with that spin, you've seen I didn't go anywhere.
	But I got two handles on my lever, and I could place another stone on this side.
	Now, every time I spin a half rotation on each stone, I move the block horizontally, the distance between the stones.
	With my own output, I could move a one-ton block 300 feet per hour.
	Using this technique, he's moved everything from one-ton blocks to buildings.
	But how'd you get it to get one point, a 30 by 40 pole barn that he moved 300 feet for me?
	And it was more or less, you know, what else can we move?
	And he looked at me and says, hey, can we move the barn?
	And I said, sure, let's, you know, next thing you know, it was 300 feet in the other direction onto another piece of property.
	What?
	It can move barns.
	What?
	And Wally's betting, it moves stonehenges 25 times.
	But how do you get it up high?
	Raising these giants is a whole different puzzle.
	Oh, here we go.
	19,200 pounds.
	Wow.
	Yeah, it's 128 square feet of, or cubic feet of concrete.
	Today, Wally hopes to solve it.
	He'll put one of his theories to the test and try to stand this 19,200-pound block by himself.
	I've tried to do this without any mechanical machinery at all.
	I've used mostly sticks and stones for my equipment.
	No pulleys, no hoists, no metal levers.
	Just try to use gravity too, I believe is my favorite tool.
	The first goal is getting this block three feet off the ground.
	In order to move it up to this point, I just rock the block.
	Imagine this was a black end.
	How much we would have heard about her and just slide a board in.
	Say her name.
	Then I add the weight to that end.
	Oh, that's a good idea.
	And slide a board in on this end.
	You get it?
	This shoring box acts like a jack, slowly raising the block.
	It's three feet off the ground, but tomorrow is the big experiment.
	Standing it up.
	Kids, stay back a little bit.
	You can watch from afar.
	They're here to watch Granddad.
	The whole entire school should be a huge part of this project and going to see it every day.
	Science teachers should be there.
	Yes.
	Every teacher remotely scientific, so engineering, masks.
	Not chemistry, I guess.
	History.
	Science, history.
	Photography class.
	Take some pictures of the ship.
	I'm going to guide it into the pit.
	The easiest way I can explain this is this is just a big teeter-totter, and I got the big kid on that end, and he's going to go down, this end's going up.
	He believes in his technique, but he's had some setbacks in the past.
	One day I got thrown over top of a block, and a couple times I had the blocks roll off the top, and almost land on my feet.
	One time I knocked myself out cold on the concrete.
	Yeah, so it's all right.
	That was fascinating.
	We sure used a lot of time there.
	All right, ready?
	Dear Gav, I need your advice.
	Here we go, folks.
	We're going deep inside the soul of the subscribership.
	About two weeks ago, I had sex with my friend's girlfriend.
	Why?
	After a fun night of good food, getting stoned, and watching movies, my friend went to bed in his room, and his girl and I remained on the couch smoking.
	We were sitting close together, and I realized I had a boner.
	She realized I was aroused and touched me there, and there was no turning back.
	We didn't even use a condom.
	I don't know what got into me as I'm really cautious about that type of stuff.
	Honestly, she's not even my type.
	Ever since then, the guilt has been slowly but surely eating away at me.
	FYI, they've been together for about a year, and he really likes her more than she likes him.
	I'd say, what should I do?
	Well, you fucked up, didn't you, you stupid asshole?
	Jesus Christ.
	I mean, look at him.
	He's pimping.
	No, no, that's not the take.
	Mike?
	Terrible.
	So what should he do?
	If you don't want to get this shit kicked out of you, you just got to stop hanging out with him.
	I think you should X both of those two.
	Make up an excuse if you can, but get the fuck out of there.
	You've totally betrayed your friend.
	You stabbed him in the back.
	You're not a good friend.
	So you can't hang out with him.
	Is he in danger?
	Like if she uses that to hurt his feelings and he's crazy for her?
	Yeah, when they break up, she's going to mention it.
	It's going to come up in a fight and you're dead meat.
	I fuck Daryl, by the way.
	Oh, fuck.
	And then he's like, I'm going to kill.
	So be move.
	Fear Gavrin, the illustrious NPR used your picture blatantly saluting a Nazi salute to adorn an article on how extremist group weaponize irony to spread hate.
	It only mentioned you once in defense of the Proud Boys and seemed to primarily target Fuentes.
	So instead of using his likeness, they used yours to help strike fear into the readers.
	I think I included a link, but it was on Facebook, so you probably can't see it.
	But it also included a screenshot, by the way.
	My brother believes MPR is completely unbiased, and that's his only news source.
	And then the pictures are some extremists weaponize irony and absurdity to recruit new members and avoid criticism.
	Yeah, they couldn't just be that I'm funny.
	A tactic that can mask their danger and draw in younger people to their movement.
	So my jokes are a hocus-pocus fog on a stewardess's arm.
	How extremists weaponize irony to spread hate.
	You know, it's not a dog whistle.
	It's like a Ouija board.
	I can't see the article, can you?
	No.
	So we're not allowed to go there.
	Thank you for making the screenshot, but I remember, I remember this guy, the guy who wrote the article.
	He sent me, and I meant to read this on the show, so thank you for reminding me.
	Yeah, you don't need Facebook.
	You could just go on NPR.
	Here we go.
	What's his name?
	Tom Dreischbach.
	Yes.
	Look him up.
	He's such a fucking beta male pussy.
	Oh, this is actually so long.
	It might have to be an article.
	This him?
	Yeah, that's him.
	Yeah, there he is.
	So he goes, hi, Gavin.
	I'm a reporter with NBR News.
	I'm running because I'm working on a story about the conspiracy charges against Joe Biggs and Ethan Ordean for Friday.
	That day a federal judge plans to rule on whether they, blah, blah, blah.
	As part of a reporting, we're looking at some of the Proud Boys' violent rhetoric.
	And I wanted to see if you'd like to comment or respond.
	Essentially, we'll be reporting on how violence has been core to the identity of the Proud Boys from the beginning, citing the fourth degree.
	Your past statement that I can't recommend violence enough, and your celebration of Nordine's punch of a counter-demonstrator in 2018.
	We'll also reference the various controversies over the years in which you were accused of using anti-Semitic and racist language.
	I understand you officially.
	So first I made it clear that I'll sue your ass if you fucking lie.
	Secondly, I said the fourth degree was clarified, and it's not encouraging violence against Antifa.
	It says if you get fucked over and you end up in jail because of Antifa, you are a fourth degree.
	It's a consolation prize, not an incentive.
	And I said I can't recommend violence enough after NYU when we were attacked by a mob and we beat them up and fought back.
	And I think it could have saved my life.
	They pepper sprayed me.
	I couldn't see a thing.
	So in that case, yes, in self-defense.
	And my celebration of Nordine's punch of a counter-demonstrator.
	He was not a counter-demonstrator, you cunt.
	He was an evil fucking Antifa cocksucker.
	We just showed the punch a second ago.
	And that was, for the millionth time, Antifa swarming Joey Gibson on his way back from a talk and trying to kill him, beat the fuck out of him on his way back to his car.
	Proud Boys escorted that man, Joey, and made sure he got back to his car and was jumped by a mob of armed Antifa militants, not a counter-protester, who beat him with a collapsible baton.
	And after taking two hits to the arm, Ethan knocked him out.
	And that was great that Ethan fought back.
	Celebration of Nordine's punch of a counter-demonstrator.
	So then he says, I say, just email me the question so I have them on file.
	And he says, is violence core to the identity?
	Have you glorified violence?
	Do you bear any responsibility for the role of the group allegedly played in the attack on the Capitol?
	Like, these guys are so fucking lazy.
	Some believe that you and your proud boy's use of irony and humor is a way to inoculate the group from criticism from people who take your most controversial statements.
	And then he asks about the Jada Pinkett Smith thing and the 10 things they hate about the Jews and pushing the white supremacists, trope white genocide.
	We all know the Jada Pinkett Smith thing.
	10 Things About the Jews we all know about right on this show.
	But I really resented this whole you're using humor to hide.
	I go, so I said to him, leftist media is so desperate for Nazis, they willfully ignore jokes.
	When they're told they're taking a joke seriously, they scream, he's hiding behind the joke.
	This is people such as you forcing their narrative into places it doesn't belong.
	Proud boys are like Animal House.
	They're funny dudes, not Nazis.
	However, if you keep attacking them, they will fight back.
	Anyway, it's so boring.
	To people like you, you know what's going on.
	But I wrote like a thousand words explaining all of his misunderstandings.
	Yet this article still comes out.
	And it says, don't believe the hype.
	Don't believe the jokes.
	The jokes are secret tricks.
	What a fucking little cunt, eh?
	So did this just come out today?
	April 26th, yesterday.
	And isn't it funny they use this picture?
	This is me.
	This picture from the article they use is me after I did Ann Coulter's speech because she was banned from doing a talk in Berkeley.
	And so I went and read her talk, and then we all went out for beers after.
	And this is me saying Uhuru, joking around with the guys.
	But it's always used as this white power picture.
	This is ooh, oohuru.
	White power has no oohs in it.
	So it's Nick Fuentes, Nick Fuentes.
	Let me see what he says about McInnes.
	You got to just make it clear you're going to sue these fucking people.
	It's the only way you get any truth.
	Yeah, that's all they put in.
	And then this guy has pictures from 1868 of the Klan.
	If you're concerned about hate, my friend, why don't you do the Aryan nations?
	Why don't you do black Hebrew Israelites?
	You're not.
	You're just concerned with men who have more testosterone than you making you feel bad.
	So you have to discredit them by turning them into some sort of evil Nazis.
	Because we were the guys that made fun of you in high school.
	Anyway, that kind of shit pisses me off.
	Let's move on.
	Let's go to the final video.
	Let's do Lawrence Fox at IKEA, the last one there.
	I think about every month, would you say?
	I'd say every month we discover someone who has the magic sprinkles.
	Someone emailed me and said, I found someone with the magic sparkles.
	No, it's sprinkles.
	I saw that, yeah.
	Sprinkles, not sparkles.
	And it's just like, I can't explain why, what makes them this, but you just, there's funny, that's hardworking, funny.
	Like, Tom Segura, and who's the other guy?
	The bear.
	Oh, Bert Kreischer.
	Bert Kreischer.
	Tom Segura has the sprinkles.
	Bert Kreischer doesn't.
	Their shows aren't that different.
	They're both very enjoyable.
	But Bert is just a hardworking guy who busted his ass and did some very good comedy.
	Tom Segura, on the other hand, is the same, but he has those magic sprinkles.
	Like John Belushi's eye, when it cocks up like that, that's the magic.
	Or the way Louis C.K. goes, pew, fuck you, Jen.
	I can't explain it.
	Shut up, Janet.
	It's just the magic.
	And those guys don't have to work as hard.
	And they are, I'd say, 1% of the population.
	Very, very rare.
	I'd say they're maybe 5 to 10% of comedians have the magic.
	Anyway, this guy seems to have the magic.
	You think I own this business?
	You think I own IKEA?
	I'm a part-time employee halfway through a two-week notice.
	I don't give a shit.
	I'm telling all my friends not to shop here.
	Tell them.
	You think I want five other you's running around the store?
	You's?
	Come call me.
	I'll tell them.
	You think you hate this place more than me?
	I work here.
	I know the sale ended last week, but can I still get a discount?
	Do you hear yourself?
	We can't go backwards.
	Time marches on.
	You want the sale from 15 years ago, too?
	When's it end, Diane?
	You want that price?
	You're going to have to go through the quantum realm with Ant-Man.
	Do you know how much money I spend here more than you should?
	Meatballs ain't that good.
	Save your money.
	End my time.
	Doesn't matter how much you spend here.
	We don't thank our donors.
	This is PBS.
	Every time I come here, my order gets messed up.
	Then stop coming.
	Make my day.
	Every time you come here, your order's messed up.
	Sounds like you're making the mistake.
	Look inward.
	You're ordering the wrong shit.
	I'd like to speak to your manager.
	I'd like to speak to your mother.
	Tell her she should be embarrassed.
	She raised someone to act like a baby in public.
	You want to speak to the manager, please?
	The manager doesn't know what's going on.
	Haven't you ever worked anywhere before?
	I know that's not right.
	I used to work here.
	Well, things change.
	Sorry they didn't run it by you first.
	They used to work here.
	Well, I used to be happy.
	You walked in.
	Can you just check in the back?
	Can you just accept we don't have it?
	The back ain't some magical place.
	You understand this workshop?
	In fact, there is a clipboard with our schedules and some brownies Darcy brought in.
	The web Darcy brought in.
	The website said it was in stock.
	And what do your eyes say?
	Sometimes it's wrong.
	The website also has pictures of employees smiling.
	You see that?
	You go yell at your computer instead of me.
	It'll get you the same result.
	Nothing.
	This is cheaper at other stores than shop there.
	Why are you here?
	Any directions?
	I'll give you some.
	I'll call you an Uber.
	Cheaper at other stores.
	I don't set the prices.
	I'm a seasonal employee.
	Quality, huh?
	That was great.
	That guy was fucking funny.
	You know, I just remember about that NBR guy.
	See, you can tell he's stuck in my crown.
	I'm still pissed.
	He said, I noticed you mentioned that you're working with a lawyer now who says bad things about Proud Boys or whatever.
	Could you put me in touch with him?
	What did he say?
	He said, you acquired him or something?
	Oh, yeah, I said, we've attained legal representation for people who lie about me and the Prowboys.
	And he goes, do you know who the attorney is the group has, quote unquote, attained?
	I'd like to reach out.
	And I said, listen, motherfucker, it took 100% of my willpower to send you a comic collective response to your questions.
	Don't put my verbs in quotes like I don't mean it.
	You know you would buckle like a bitch if we ever met in person.
	So don't play tough guy in an email.
	And he just goes, thank you for your response.
	And then proceeds to totally leave me out of the article because he's fucking scared because he's a pussy.
	And that's what all of this shit is about.
	Pussies.
	This is all revenge of the hurt.
	This is what clown world is.
	They pretend they're going for justice.
	They're not.
	American prompt is all about lies.
	It's all about a made-up narrative where they get revenge on the bullies in high school.
	I don't know who they think we are.
	This white supremacist bullshit.
	This dumb fucking lie that cops are hunting blacks and blacks are being innocent angels and towns are not being burned down and domestic terrorism from the right is the biggest threat.
	That's all a fucking lie.
	It's not even close to true.
	And the real psychology of it comes down to nerd fucking losers, geeks, wimps, people who weren't invited to parties in high school trying to get revenge.
	And you know what really hurts them is that despite their like canceling us on Twitter or spreading a rumor or writing a little article, we're still living our lives.
	Most of us still have the job.
	You got us fired.
	We got a new job.
	You got me fired a hundred times.
	I keep just making a new thing.
	I got my loving wife that I adore, my beautiful children.
	You do your little games.
	You put signs on your lawns.
	You try to thwart us because you're fucking miserable because you're not married.
	You don't have kids.
	Your job is a made-up job.
	You're a blogger for NPR.
	That's not a real thing.
	You don't pay your rent with that.
	Your parents pay your rent.
	All these cunt New York bloggers who obsessively follow white males and waiting for them to slip up and sneer wrong or smirk or call some homo an idiot.
	All those jobs are fake jobs.
	You're not contributing to society.
	You're dismantling it.
	And we're not going to stand for it anymore.
	If it takes lawfare, fine.
	Whatever it takes, we're done with your bullshit.
	You want to call me a potential Timothy McVeigh?
	War.
	Come on, my guy.
	That was, you know, that was going to be a little more amazing than that.
	That was going to be great.
	Let's do it again.
	You're going to call me a potential Timothy McVeigh, because I love this country and I'm patriotic and I stand up for the American family and I don't like big government and I want freedom and liberty.
	You're going to call me a terrorist for that?
	You could.
	War.
	War.
	He says war.
	I was going to try to have you guys both say it at the same time.
	That would have been dope.
	No, you fucked that up.
	You fucked up this whole show.
	I'm sorry.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I feel like I'm a dope.
	Take your eyeballs with the lights out, grip.
	Lights out!

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