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March 4, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:59:36

GOML LIVE #88 - HELLO CALLER

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	That's enough.
	That's enough of that hardcore cacophony.
	That was The Meat Men from Where the Meat Men You Suck, and that song was, I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl, I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl.
	Sung by That was Tesco V singing there.
	That's him right up there.
	Oh, shit.
	That's Tesco V. I knocked over the animal.
	We did a off the record with this.
	We did.
	We did.
	I chose that album because, and I'm sure this is prevalent in my description of Where the Meat Men You Suck, but it was just a time, a different time.
	A time when you could be rude.
	Gangrene, the hardcore band, would have their whole cover would just be Budweisers.
	And you could be politically incorrect.
	It wasn't right-wing or left-wing.
	Sure, most people were lefties.
	You know, you listen to Clash lyrics and they sound like a bunch of fucking Shagivera socialists, but that doesn't mean that the other side wasn't permitted.
	Now it's not permitted.
	If you have a band and the drummer, like say the singer of Trapped or Michael Graves, if they express an opinion that is not totally radical, left, communist, anarchist, which I can't believe those two words are considered the same thing now, you're done.
	That band is over.
	BBQT is over because they use the word savage in a song.
	What?
	You may notice I'm wearing a fun sweatshirt that I bought in honor of Detective George Kakavale.
	I don't want to disparage him by getting the name wrong.
	Maybe Casavale, but Casavale?
	This was a guy who was shot a long-ass time ago.
	I think it was in the 80s.
	He was a detective who was shot dead.
	And then they had a canine unit named after him.
	So his daughter thought, well, that's cool.
	I'm going to make sweatshirts for this canine unit because it honors my dad.
	And so she did.
	They take a long time to get made now.
	I'll explain that in a second.
	And they flew off the shelves because this woman wore it to a new Rochelle high, a Bronx high, Yonkers high, somewhere like that.
	And the teacher said, no, you can't wear that here.
	And she goes, why?
	Because of this?
	Because of this?
	Because of this?
	No, because of this.
	The blue line, that flag, it makes black people feel unsafe.
	So teachers and students are not allowed to wear this sweatshirt.
	So it promptly sold 8 million copies.
	Wow.
	I'm exaggerating, but it sold probably 5,000.
	Did very well.
	Still well?
	Because everyone's just buying it.
	My problem with it is I don't like sweatshirts where you can't unzip them.
	You know what?
	It's got to be fucking cold out to wear this.
	You're right, but that looks way better than a zip up.
	What is on your head?
	That looks better than a zip-up.
	Did my mom knit that?
	Somebody's mom did.
	I got it off Etsy.
	But this is the perfect color for me.
	I have a brand, Nopey Up, that you might not know, but I use both of these colors.
	And so when I saw this hat, I said, you know, I sought it out, actually.
	And it fits perfectly.
	It's the perfect green for me.
	Are you disgusted?
	Disgusted is a compliment.
	I wish I was disgusted.
	That should be your goal.
	I was actually able to make it to disgusted.
	You know, I just knew there was no way that that would be good.
	I'm confused.
	I'm just trying to dig in.
	It's such a shitty hat, too.
	It's so obviously a handmade.
	It looks like the shitty hats my mom sends me in the mail.
	No offense, mom, but those suck.
	I like it.
	Clearly.
	Look at it.
	Like, look at the stitching.
	It's just so cheap and homemade and stupid.
	I like it.
	I like that you could expand.
	You put it around, you know, you stretch it and it stays.
	It's actually better quality material than.
	I'm wearing one of the coolest sweatshirts in the world, literally in the world.
	And you're wearing one of the gayest things in the world.
	Well, see, that's the problem.
	I didn't know that you would be wearing such high caps.
	We have a new sponsor, Tactical Walls.
	I'd like to welcome our new sponsor, Tactical Walls, to the Censored.tv family.
	Tactical Walls is a veteran-owned and operated.
	And Tactical Walls is designed to store and secure firearms.
	But really, you can hide anything in there.
	Guns, grandma's prescriptions, heels and sunglasses, whips and chains.
	Hide it all with Tactical Walls.
	Right now, our loyal Censored.tv subscribers get 15% off all orders at Tactical Walls.
	Just use promo code Gavin15.
	Support veteran-owned businesses who support us.
	TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin15.
	Thanks, Tactical Walls.
	We like you more than a friend.
	Now remember, Tactical Walls are the guys behind this.
	The trophy of me and Ryan.
	I don't know why Ryan gets to be a war movie veteran.
	I'm a war movie veteran.
	You haven't seen enough war movies to become on literally the same pedestal as I am.
	Well, I've seen Saving Private Ryan, and my name is in the title.
	Yeah, I saw Saving Private Ryan stoned.
	I saw Purple Heart for that.
	Oh, I was stoned when I saw it too.
	I was stoned every day of my life until about a couple years ago.
	Oh, really?
	On what?
	Marijuana?
	Yeah, I was smoking a lot.
	Marijuana?
	I was smoking a weed.
	I definitely saw it high, and it was.
	So Tactical Walls has tactical walls, like you're seeing here, Where you can make a mount for your guns.
	You can also have, they have like baseball mounts and stuff where you have all the baseball bats and your helmets and shit.
	But then they also do these cool shells and shit.
	And I'd like to show you one that they made particularly for the show, specifically for the show.
	You ready for this?
	Y'all ready for this?
	Did you know that you're not fair?
	I knew it.
	Did you know in the song, Y'all Ready for This, that's the only lyric?
	Y'all ready for this?
	Dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan.
	That's it.
	Huh.
	The only lyrics to Y'all Ready for This are, Y'all Ready for This.
	Nope, that's not true.
	There's yeah.
	It doesn't open.
	Hey, kids, want to get dad's guns?
	You can't get to dad's guns.
	It won't open.
	Hey, thief, you want to get dad's guns?
	You can't, it won't open.
	Oh-ish.
	They can't hear you.
	They can't hear me?
	No.
	Now, it won't close.
	You move it over here.
	You can hear the latch.
	You hear that magnetic latch?
	I move it over here.
	Pretty fucking cool, huh?
	Let's just do that one more time.
	Shotglass is there.
	Mini-makers there.
	Move it away.
	Close it up.
	Pretty dope.
	Kingsman level, cool.
	He's the guy who invented the phrase, thank you for my service.
	That's great.
	That's great rules.
	Tactical Walls.
	Promo code dude.
	TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin15.
	We welcome our newest sponsor.
	We have a fun idea for a show today.
	What?
	The particle board mounts will give you sawdust residue.
	I'm not going to lie.
	Some of the boards will give you dust.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	Dusty.
	Like it goes false.
	The reason that show was such a hit is because he was really enjoying himself.
	You could tell.
	The bloopers are better than the show.
	He was having a great time.
	Oh, fuck.
	I haven't been working out because of these cracked ribs.
	I feel like I live with Pontius Pilate and he's in a bad mood every time I want to fucking move.
	So we have a fun idea for today's show.
	We're just going to wing it.
	And I don't mean wing it in that we'll just go through our topics.
	I'm saving my topics for tomorrow.
	We've got a lot to talk about with Dr. Zeus being canceled and obviously Mr. Potato Head and all of this bizarre world we're living in.
	We have tons of footage of my pet Biden being an absolute adorable little clown.
	But I'd rather just sort of try to plow through calls for a change.
	I got to get back home early.
	So if people are annoying, I might just end this show incredibly early.
	And if they're scintillating, we might go more than two hours.
	But people always complain they can't get through on the call days.
	And the freeloaders who listen to this show never hear calls because we do calls after.
	So let's give them a taste at calls.
	That's cool.
	Let's have a call up.
	And we're going to shut people down way quicker than before.
	So when I say thank you for calling, throw them to the wolves.
	In fact, you should probably play the interstitial.
	Thank you for calling.
	Ah, here we go.
	You are on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It's great hearing from you.
	All right, next call.
	By the way, I've quit hard liquor for Lent, and I'm starting just now to get a buzz from beer.
	Nice.
	I don't know what, when I say just now, I don't mean the second.
	I mean like this far into the Lent.
	Your tolerance is going down.
	My tolerance is finally down where I can pass out from drinking beer.
	But it's still just like at the end of the night, you feel like that blueberry chick from Willy Wonka.
	And then you go to bed and you just wake up every two hours and piss like a racehorse.
	But you're never slurring or anything.
	I could have driven a jumbo jet last night and I had probably seven beers.
	Why don't you show your Donald Trump?
	Okay.
	Okay.
	So I told Ryan to get this impression app so he could be as funny as Kyle Dunnegan.
	The problem is they don't have a lot of people.
	They have all these new people.
	Right?
	That's true.
	So the selection is either super hack people like Christopher Walken or like Tyler Laudry, some kid that's TikTok famous or something.
	And then you got President Trump on there and some others.
	But you know, the good thing about what Dunnegan does is I can replicate that.
	I just thought he doesn't use the Impressions app.
	He uses Snapchat.
	Oh.
	So I could do that on Snapchat.
	So with Snapchat, you find the face and then you put it in.
	Yeah.
	So it could be my face.
	Yep.
	Have you seen these Tom Cruise deep fakes?
	Yeah, they're creepy.
	Dude, you could have a sex tape of you fucking a kid and just go, that's not me.
	Yeah.
	This is going to be a boon for active pedophiles or any kind of sex tape.
	Like they go, you're cheating.
	Oh, yeah, show me video proof.
	And then they show you and you go, that's not me.
	Show the Tom Cruise deep fakes because they are effing amazing.
	I mean, right down to the wrinkles on his forehead.
	That's what I don't get.
	I saw an AOC deep fake where she was blowing a dude, and she says, in a perfect AOC voice, Don't you better not come in my mouth.
	And it is perfect.
	But if you concentrate really hard, you can kind of see a different tone of skin here.
	You need to like squint your face off, and you may be able to notice it.
	But this is even better than that.
	This is disturbing.
	Oh, is this someone writing about it?
	God damn it.
	Why can we never have the thing?
	There we go.
	You guys cool if I play some sports?
	This one.
	Look, hats and stuff?
	Yeah, and waving the hand in front of the face.
	And my hand in front of the face, and then the darkness of a hat.
	Which is the one.
	No, there's a new one that's the best one.
	The newest one I've seen was the magic one.
	You got newer than that?
	Yeah, I think it's...
	Yeah, he's on the golf course.
	No, that's older than that.
	Oh, that's the text of shitty.
	No, the magic trick's better than the golf.
	Like that, and you did declare something.
	Jesus Christ.
	They couldn't show the clip, could they?
	I got it.
	No, we've seen that.
	We just saw the magic clip, shit for brains.
	And we saw the golf clip.
	Why are you going backwards in time?
	Well, what's that top one?
	That's why.
	Oh.
	It's a little embarrassing.
	You know, it reminds me.
	I was once in Russia.
	I ran into Gorbachev.
	He said, Mr. Movie Star, are you nervous?
	I said, no, Mr. Gorbachev.
	Nervous.
	He goes, well, remember how much a polar bear weighs?
	Polar bear?
	He said, enough to break the ice.
	It's the last time I've ever seen.
	We're in the future.
	We are in the fucking future.
	This is the blade runner shit.
	Like, they could use that to...
	You could kidnap someone and say that your kids are fine while they're dead.
	You could do anything.
	You could have someone...
	You could have Trump faking the election, meeting with Putin.
	Yes, thank you for helping me fuck the election.
	Here, show us your Trump.
	It's really, really good.
	I think this is the good one.
	Nope, this one.
	For too long, the liberal media has been censoring and silencing great writers such as Ernest Hemingway, Ernest Borgnine, and Ernest Ghost to Kemp.
	And did you see what they're doing to Dr. Seuss?
	I mean, I don't like him, but it's unfair.
	Very unfair what they're doing.
	Maybe that wasn't the...
	That wasn't the one.
	You're always wrong.
	Without exception.
	Don't show the others.
	They're just...
	Why did you upload all three?
	Because I couldn't tell which one was which.
	See, when it, yeah.
	You delete the shitty ones.
	You absolute retard.
	That's how you do things in life.
	Well, I do.
	I want to keep them all because there's one thing in two of them that are really good.
	One of them, he goes, and I don't like him.
	It's green.
	Great him.
	I kept that for that little nugget.
	And then the other one, there's something else that I did that I want to put them in one video.
	He couldn't have gone like blah, blah, blah, good in the write-up.
	There's no write-up.
	Oh, yeah.
	In the actual description of the thing.
	Dot move, whatever it is.
	Yeah, I know what you mean.
	I can't look at that hat.
	How much did it cost you?
	I think it was $10.
	And the woman, it's probably spent like a year knitting that.
	It's like Puka hats.
	Oh, my God.
	I have to relive the punch every time I sneeze.
	You don't need Advil, do you?
	No.
	It's still going, still going.
	I don't take medicine unless it's fun medicine.
	Then it's pretty cool.
	Minroll, Johnny Apple CBD.
	Thank you guys for being here since day one.
	We hope Tactical Walls stays as long as Johnny Apple CBD.
	This episode is brought to you by our proud sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
	My brother called me the other day.
	He said, I overdid it on the leg day.
	It's weird.
	When you have an upper body working out, I don't know.
	I could lift 100 houses and be slightly tender the next day.
	But any kind of squats or we do this thing in the gym where you hit the guy's gloves, bok, bok, bok, bok.
	And then you squat down and you squat, you go up.
	So you're going up and down like this.
	Maybe two rounds.
	That's only six minutes in total with a break.
	The next day, you're walking down the stairs like the ground is lava and someone's putting broken glass up your ass.
	Like you go, you become a nustrad fata alikan, a kawali singer, just going up and down stairs.
	I don't, why is that?
	Legs are more sensitive than arms, I guess.
	Anyway, he had a bad leg day.
	He put CBD on his legs, the topical, Johnny Apple CBD, from these commercials.
	That's how he heard of it.
	And he goes, it fucking worked.
	Miracle drug.
	So you can ignore the tincture and the gummies and the cookies and all of that stuff.
	Try the topical when you have sore muscles.
	Just try that one thing and you will freak out.
	They've been with us since day one.
	Go to jacbd.com or you can go to johnnyapple.com right now and show them the same support you show us.
	Even if it's a small purchase, get the cream, get the topical, try it on your sore muscles, treat yourself.
	Promo code Gavin.
	Now, to be clear, for tacticalwalls.com, it's promo code Gavin15.
	But for JohnnyApple, jacbd.com, it's just the word Gavin, the name Gavin.
	20% off all orders.
	Thank you, Johnny Apple CBD, for sticking with us through COVID.
	God bless Johnny Apple CBD.
	And of course, God bless America.
	I just got real sniffly.
	What are you doing?
	Nusrat Fato Talidan.
	Nusrat Fata Ali Khan, buddy.
	You're getting the name wrong.
	And if you're going to play Kawali singers, then maybe not get the musical part.
	What's his hit?
	Oh, Nusrat.
	He's dead now for being a fatso.
	He had a little bit too much jabbuti.
	Come on, you lazy prick.
	Get up.
	Is Indian like Chinese in the sense that the way you pronounce it matters?
	Like you can't go TikTok as well.
	I don't think so.
	I don't know.
	Every time I try to Mandarin and maybe Aboriginal Taiwanese are the only things where there's Bob, there's Bob, there's Bob, and there's Bob.
	And they all mean either I'd like to get some money for the train or I fucked your mother.
	Hot shit!
	So you got to be careful.
	Yeah, I try to steal your...
	In other words, it's a stupid language.
	Jamaican, Scottish.
	I don't care if you're speaking English.
	I can understand you.
	Chinese?
	Dude, in China, they have subtitles on their shows in Chinese.
	So you're watching Chinese, you are Chinese, and there's Chinese subtitles.
	You know why?
	Because their language is so fucking hard that 62-year-olds who were born there are still trying to get the edge off, still trying to master it.
	They haven't quite nailed it yet.
	Are you sure Jamaican?
	Because I hear a lot of Jamaicans and it's like, what?
	You know what I mean?
	See what I mean?
	See what I'm saying?
	Yeah.
	Well, obviously, like, there's degrees, but generally, if you listen to Jamaican news, you know, local cable access, you're going to follow it.
	But when we got that guy, Guan Shat, two loaf of bread and one milk in a...
	Can I comment on one of the things you said earlier where you were allowed to be edgy and stuff?
	I watched Rush Limbaugh on Donahue, and just, it's fascinating just because, you know, I was never really familiar with Rush.
	I just knew he ruled.
	I never really got around to hearing him, but this was amazing, you know, and the crowd...
	Borat was there.
	I have a question about my wife.
	They're all ugly, huh?
	Anyway, so half the crowd clapped when they were shitting on him, like calls were shitting on him.
	Half of them clapped when he made good points.
	And they were all...
	There was no ferocity.
	It wasn't like Jerry Springer, where they're like, boo, fuck you.
	Canceled forever.
	Yeah, it was so refreshing.
	Do you see what Dr. Zeus is canceled for?
	He had drawings of like, I said I wasn't going to cover the news, but like a Chinese man eats with sticks.
	And it had this stereotypical 1800s Chinese guy, which was like 100 years off, I guess, in the 1950s, whenever he made that.
	And the guy's running in old traditional Chinese gear, and he's using chopsticks, eating from a bull.
	Yeah.
	They did.
	They do.
	They still use chopsticks.
	And then he had some Arab guy on a camel.
	Okay.
	But it's so funny with a lot of these racist caricatures.
	That's what they look like.
	Yeah.
	Like, I'm sorry.
	What about any Disney movie, Mulan or throwing the blacks there?
	The blacks?
	Yeah.
	To your left, Ryan?
	The blacks.
	The blacks.
	Oh, that's supposed to be blacks.
	What did you think they were?
	I thought those were monkeys.
	Okay.
	So blacks do not look like that.
	That is a hyperbolic exaggeration.
	But, you know, some super-duper black people sometimes resemble some of that.
	It's a cartoon.
	It's a joke.
	It's a joke.
	You know, there was some gender stuff in there, too, like, mommy is a he.
	Oh, no, mommy is a she.
	You can be a mommy, ba-ba-ba.
	You know what I noticed about older pictures of him?
	His nose is fucked up.
	But you can't look that up because he's got so many little rhymes about a nose that if you look up Dr. Zeus' nose, you get lost in a bunch of nose shit.
	I want to find out what happened to him.
	Mulberry Street.
	Bunch of fake Puerto Rican wise guys in rent-controlled houses living above cheap, shitty, touristy Italian restaurants.
	That's Mulberry Street.
	Charlie Kirk pointed out that Obama was like Obama's all over.
	Anything you want to learn, you can learn it from Dr. Zeus.
	Now I'm saying Zeus.
	Because you said Zeus.
	What do you call him?
	Dr. Zeus?
	Dr. Zeus.
	Oh, I say Zeus.
	I understand that.
	Does everyone else say Zeus?
	I believe.
	I've never heard Dr. Zeus, but you know, the way you say us is us.
	I don't want to make you self-conscious, but you say us.
	Yeah, that's Canadian.
	Okay.
	I'm damn proud of that.
	I'm not changing it.
	I'm not asking you to.
	Let's take some fucking calls.
	Yeah.
	Hopefully from Canada, eh?
	Fucking fucking.
	Some guy smoking a dart fucking got a 2-4 there of most in Canadian estate.
	John.
	What's up, John?
	Uh-oh.
	John wandered from the phone, it appears.
	John Juan.
	John, are you there?
	1-1,000.
	Oh, shit, he hung up.
	Thank you for calling.
	Damn, John.
	Who's next?
	Train.
	What's up, Train?
	I think people assume we're not going to take calls till 10.
	Is this on me?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Oh, he's listening to the show.
	I just heard him say, what's up, John?
	Correct.
	Check, check.
	John, you man?
	I'm switching.
	Okay, wait.
	Check, check.
	Check, check, check.
	Is this you fucking up now?
	Well, I switched it to this.
	the other one's supposed to work.
	Oh, this is embarrassing.
	Does this work?
	I can hear you.
	Can you hear me?
	Hello?
	I'm not.
	Sorry, I'm not John, so I. No, you're not John.
	I'm sorry.
	You're not John.
	You're not John, and you never will be.
	No offense.
	I don't want to be John.
	I'm Strang.
	Hi.
	Hey, I've never called into any show before, so it's kind of odd.
	But I'm actually calling because like a month ago, you talked about Andrew Yang living in New Paltz, which was news to me.
	But I found it sort of striking that you thought New Paltz was a shithole, and then you asked Ryan if New Paltz was a shithole because you thought he lived nearby, which he did for some period of time.
	And I can understand why Ryan might be considered an expert on shitholes.
	But don't you have to not live in a shithole for a while to understand that, you know, what you're living in all the time in Newburgh and the Bronx is worse than other places?
	Yeah.
	I understand what you're saying.
	You know what?
	I'm sorry.
	Are you from New Paltz?
	Is that your beef?
	I would party in New Paltz pretty often.
	We play some shows there.
	I'm your lone viewer from New Paltz.
	I can assure you that there's no one else in this town that actually subscribes to Censored TV.
	Wasn't there a shooting there recently where the cop shot a black dude for being an asshole and there was riots?
	Did you hear Gavin's question?
	He was asking, wasn't there a shooting there and there was a bunch of riots?
	Like a cop shooting?
	No, there was no cop shooting.
	That might have been Newberg.
	There was a guy I went to high school with that shot up downtown.
	Oh, in Newberg?
	I think it's Newberg.
	It's Newberg.
	All right.
	Well, thanks for calling.
	We'll try to be better in the future and give New Paltz a break.
	I love New Paltz, but you called it a shithole.
	What's worse, New Paltz or Newberg?
	Oh, my God.
	Newberg.
	For sure.
	New Paltz is a college town.
	The thing I heard about Newberg when I moved upstate was it's a great place to get really cool vintage furniture because it's all blacks and they don't care about mid-century modern.
	They don't know what that is.
	They'd rather just go to IKEA.
	So there's all this really cool furniture and it hasn't been scooped up by gays and liberals because they don't live there.
	Yeah.
	And we got an amazing piece of furniture.
	It was sort of like this.
	It had a sliding door and it was tiered, like doot, doot, doot, like a staircase.
	And we put it next to our staircase.
	And it went boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
	And it had like, you open it up and this mini bar came out and it was lit.
	Sick.
	It was literally lit.
	All right, next call.
	Newberg is in Murder Capital?
	That was Newberg.
	Yeah, they got some violence.
	Newberg.
	Eddie, rather.
	Yo.
	Yo, can you hear me?
	Yes.
	Hey, I just wanted to say, I see y'all haven't talked about it much, but or at all, really.
	Did you guys hear about the shooting at the gun range in Metore, Louisiana?
	Yeah.
	Oh, you did see it?
	Okay, I don't really care about it.
	Or AIU or somebody.
	Should we care about it?
	Oh, yeah, it was bad, man.
	Some freaking black guy went into the gun range and they told him basically, man, you can't walk in here with that loaded gun.
	And he said, oh, well, fuck you.
	And just shot two people and injured a few others.
	So he only killed two people?
	He killed two people and injured a few others.
	And he ultimately died.
	Did they take him out?
	I mean, because these are people with guns there.
	Like, you would figure that's a well-protected place.
	Absolutely.
	Like, all total.
	Like, hey, got the people shot at him.
	Nice.
	It was wild.
	They got video of it.
	Yeah, I saw the video.
	I didn't even include it in the show notes.
	I just thought, who cares?
	It's only three people.
	I mean, that's a pretty normal evening in Chicago and New York.
	Louisiana's got bad crime, though, right?
	I mean, I'm...
	Not like talking about it.
	Not a situation like that.
	I mean, sometimes they shoot at each other in the hood, but I mean, just something random like that for no reason.
	It seems a bit much.
	It definitely is a bit much, but it was in the grand scheme of things.
	I don't know why I didn't really give a shit.
	Thanks for calling.
	I mean, there's so many horrific murders, black on white crime that doesn't get talked about.
	Like, you know, some black dude killing his white girlfriend's parents.
	And if the races were reversed, it would be the biggest story on earth.
	But like, if you look at right-wing Gringa's Instagram feed, and she'll just occasionally include some of these brutal, fucking sadistic murders, and you think, why isn't this ever reported?
	Because it doesn't fit the narrative.
	Oh, fuck.
	You make one spelling mistake.
	Remember there was that...
	Ow!
	There was that cup there.
	There we go.
	That's exactly what I'm talking about.
	Unprovoked fatal shooting of Denver mom.
	Or there was that couple at Wisconsin U. They were both professors at University of Wisconsin.
	They were murdered on a nature trail.
	And it was because they had objected to their daughter dating this black dude.
	Not because he's black.
	It's fucking Wisconsin.
	They blow black people for free on every street corner.
	But because he was a psycho killer, Quess Casey.
	And he murdered them.
	Killed them.
	And there was all this controversy and what happened to them and blah, blah, blah.
	We all knew what happened.
	And it just doesn't get reported.
	So when there's a shooting at a gun range, I don't know.
	You know what?
	I think I'd rather these sadistic crimes get reported.
	Sounds like he was going there to shoot people.
	I mean, because he goes there with a loaded gun, you know, and I mean, it's hard to believe that somebody who wasn't trying to kill people that day gets into an argument and then just does.
	All right, let's take another call.
	Jim swearing.
	Jim, you're on the line.
	Hi, Jim.
	Hello, my bedwedding buddy.
	And Father Felcher of the Fat Zone.
	I sent you a link over.
	I know you probably don't care about Canadian politics all that much, and I can't really blame you, even though I'll probably run as a candidate in the spring if there's an election.
	Hey, whatever happened to your girlfriend that you're going to marry.
	Jim.
	I might.
	Yeah.
	Jim?
	What happened to your girlfriend?
	I haven't talked to her in a little while.
	I might not be able to collect that C-note that you offered up.
	Looks like you're not getting married after all.
	I haven't made contact recently.
	I've been a bad online fiancé.
	Anyways, Prime Minister Cuck Trudeau wants to.
	Wait a minute.
	I've been a bad online fiancé.
	So you guys are still engaged in your mind.
	You just haven't been attentive enough.
	Well, I don't know, bro.
	I don't know how to describe it.
	It's long-distance relationships.
	I know how to describe it.
	Complete bullshit, which is what I called when you first brought it up.
	Anyway, thanks for calling, buddy.
	And that's the end.
	Harsh.
	That's the end of the free portion of our show.
	So you can see what it's like when you pay.
	This is what happens 10 to 11 Wednesday nights, usually.
	You got a taste of it from 9 to 9.35.
	And if you don't like the calls, it's really just an hour a week.
	And we do two hours a day, Monday to Thursday.
	And then there's about 32 other shows.
	We've got tons of new shows coming, new contributors I'm reluctant to talk about, like Jar and also Michael.
	And of course, the inimitable Raw.
	That's three big deals.
	Oh, and of course, Drain.
	Those are all...
	I can't understand what you're saying.
	So the two Draw and then a Mark and a Rock.
	That was close, but that's four shows coming.
	Damn.
	So I'm off on the weekends, but the weekends are going to be busy as peas because busy as peas.
	What was that supposed to be?
	What was peas going to be?
	I don't know.
	They seem busy.
	Don't they?
	Peas.
	When you put them on a plate and they're all rolling around.
	It's not like a piece of pork that's just like laying down there.
	I drank beer.
	I like beer.
	Peas zip around.
	They seem busy.
	Anyway, so we're going to continue the show, obviously, but this is going to be behind the paywall.
	So the free portion is over.
	You're done.
	Don't turn that into a Zeke Heil by lying on your back and taking a picture upwards.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Well, I like to end the show with sort of a summation, a positive trait.
	And I guess what I would say about the next four years, if you're not a liberal, is let's just watch the show.
	Sit back, relax.
	It's kids' day.
	I give my kids Kids' Day once a year.
	They play video games till 3 in the morning.
	They eat Lucky Charms till they barf.
	They feel like shit the next day.
	I let them see what life would be like if they had no parents.
	And it's pretty fun for a while, and then they feel terrible because they abuse themselves.
	And that's what America's doing for the next four years.
	They're abusing themselves.
	So sit back and enjoy it.
	Don't worry about Joe Biden bombing Syria.
	We don't live there.
	Just go, there's my pet Biden, my silly little turtle man, up to his old tricks again.
	You know, I had the kids watch The Equalizer with Queen Latifah, and I was saying to my daughter, in front of my other boy, because I'm hoping he sort of understands it through her.
	And I said, honey, TV is obviously all shit.
	It's all garbage.
	But when you can appreciate garbage, TV becomes fun.
	And now you and I can watch The Equalizer and point out all the thousands of holes in the plot and make fun of the way they're dressed and the ridiculous fight scenes.
	That's fun.
	Now all the shows are fun.
	Even the commercials are amusing.
	When you learn to appreciate shit and see the tackiness of it, I guess you'd call it irony, all of a sudden a whole world of entertainment opens up to you.
	So I think the next four years are going to be incredibly entertaining, folks.
	Let's enjoy watching the liberals get exactly what they asked for, which is a shit show.
	It's going to be funny.
	It's already very amusing.
	We have daily laughs at Biden's gaffes.
	And then, of course, in four years, we'll get DeSantis or Matt Goetz or maybe even Trump back.
	And we won't have to apologize for it because they'll see what happens when they're in control.
	In the interim, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Why wouldn't you, that was so long because Ryan had to go pee-pee like a little girl?
	Why wouldn't you just wait till we had a caller, dude?
	Because then I couldn't hang up on them if they stunk or something.
	Oh, and then people would be bored.
	Right?
	Like staring at a fucking frozen picture, listening to hardcore while you pissed.
	Eh?
	In retrospect, that was a big mistake.
	Everything you do is...
	The biggest mistake your mother ever made was being pro-life.
	That means she gay.
	Sort of.
	All right, next call.
	Grant.
	Hey, what's going on, guys?
	How y'all doing this evening?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Oh, man.
	I can't complain.
	Well, dude, I just got back from a military simulation up in Vicksburg, Mississippi at an abandoned hospital.
	I totally think you should send Ryan to one, or even, you know, you and your oldest son should get into it.
	It's pretty dope stuff.
	And it's not for military training, it's just for fun.
	You pay money and shit?
	Oh, yeah, man.
	It's great.
	Like in my team, I have a grenade launcher on my gun and shit.
	And yeah, I shoot pyro rounds off.
	But this event that we just went to, the city wouldn't allow us.
	But yeah, there was former military guys, guys with their sons.
	And dude, it was just a blast.
	And what shoots out of your gun?
	It's a plastic BB.
	It's a biodegradable airsoft BB.
	But mine has a tracer unit on it.
	So while we were inside of the hospital, all those rounds I was shooting, they were blowing up bright green.
	So it looked really cool on my buddy's camera and shit.
	And are you shooting zombies or who are you shooting?
	People shooting people in different color camouflage.
	I sent a video to the mailbag of me and some of my gear.
	The subject line is fashionable or passed.
	And I think you'd get a kick out of the video.
	But dude, I'd be more than happy to send videos and pictures and stuff of what goes on with it.
	I think it's something other than boxing that you can really do and really show your car.
	Wait, you're not the guy who came out of his sunroof, are you?
	We haven't watched that.
	We haven't aired that yet.
	Dude, that was me.
	That's me.
	That's me.
	Uh-oh.
	That was terrible.
	You had cranberry juice.
	You didn't have real cranberry juice.
	Dude, that's my kind of shit.
	But you didn't have real cranberry juice and the car wasn't even moving.
	What?
	One of my magazines has get fired, get in trouble, be brave, never stop fighting.
	And the other side says, get off my lawn.
	I know, but you did the Fleetwood Mac meme.
	You did the Fleetwood Mac meme, and you didn't even have Fleetwood Mac playing.
	I mean, for real, and you didn't have real cranberry juice.
	We could hear it.
	Well, we could hear it, but you should have put it in post.
	And also, your cranberry juice was just water.
	No, it was white cranberry juice.
	Oh.
	I never heard of that.
	Sounds like a lie cranberry juice.
	Yeah, it's pretty good.
	It's nice and sweet, but smooth.
	I never heard of white cranberry juice.
	I've heard of a lie before.
	No, I'm kidding.
	I'm sure it exists.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, dude.
	We've already given you too much attention.
	Didn't we show that on the banked app?
	It's a banked app.
	All right.
	It was a good one.
	Hey, Dominic is on the laser.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	What's up?
	Hey, man.
	Can you hear me?
	I sure can.
	All right, nice.
	First time, long time.
	Thank you for your service, Gavin.
	You're welcome.
	Awesome.
	So I just wanted to tell you guys a little story of something that happened about a week or so ago.
	You know, I try really, really hard not to use offensive language.
	You know, I don't want to contribute to people's feelings of inadequacy or anything like that.
	But I was watching one of your episodes and you played one of Ryan's songs.
	I can't remember the name of it, Up and Down or something like that.
	Oh, yeah, that's brutal, isn't it?
	Up and down.
	Oh, my God.
	It was so bad.
	So out of nowhere, while watching it, I just went into a trance and I just couldn't help myself.
	I just started shouting out the word, faggot.
	A fucking homo.
	Oh, my God.
	What a queer.
	Fucking Ryan.
	This is what you do to me.
	I don't like that song.
	I think you're being way too nice to Ryan.
	I mean, queers are way cooler than that song could ever be.
	It's sub-fag.
	I think you're right.
	I think it's not one of my best songs.
	You need to kill yourself, man.
	Yeah, that's some good advice.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	We're going to dig that song up.
	I'm not going to kill myself.
	Ideally, you will.
	I won't.
	But let's look at...
	Where is that song?
	Find that.
	I felt Hodge take it off of the internet.
	You did not.
	Yeah, I did.
	Yeah, I did.
	You pussy.
	Yeah, I know.
	I couldn't do it.
	Like, when you played it, I felt so bad inside myself.
	My body and my soul.
	So that video of you, like, in the movie theater and then not in the movie theater is gone?
	Yeah.
	You pussy.
	Yeah.
	That hurts the show.
	I have better songs, okay?
	They're out there.
	If you go to anything, you'll find Nope Yup, and it's good.
	No, it's not.
	I got some good ones.
	All right, next call.
	That's too bad that you did that.
	Ups and downs.
	Zach is on the line.
	Yo, yo.
	Yo.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Anyways, the Car Guys show, which was pretty cool.
	I know you guys don't know a whole lot about guns.
	I figured you guys could do something with like a gunsmith, and he could show you all the shit that you don't know about guns.
	Yeah.
	And maybe you might learn something.
	Yeah, I would like to go to that place Tucker went to.
	Hickcock 45?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, Hickok 45 is his shit.
	That range is actually like his house is right behind the camera.
	So it's like right off his porch.
	Wow, that's awesome.
	I had no idea that.
	Where is he?
	They say they're in Alaska.
	They're not in Alaska, right?
	No.
	Was it Nashville?
	No, he's in Tennessee.
	He's in Nashville.
	I'm moving to Tennessee.
	That's it?
	I decided.
	Damn.
	There you go.
	There's plenty of fucking gunsmiths over there.
	Okay, good tip, dude.
	We'll check it out.
	Thanks for calling.
	When Tennessee?
	I just feel it in my gut.
	No, not why.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	But when?
	I don't know.
	We got to kind of go with the kids' school.
	So it's either this September or next September.
	Ooh, that's exciting.
	But I just want to say I'm from Tennessee.
	Yeah, that is pretty cool.
	Hi, I live in Knoxville, Tennessee.
	And I want to wear no shirt, white pants, white cowboy boots, and a white cowboy hat.
	It gets cold in Tennessee, too.
	You know, you like that?
	Sure, it does.
	Yeah.
	I just feel like in Florida, I'd be hiding in the basement crying for two months.
	Petrified.
	Tennessee is a good place on the map, too, because you can travel out west real quick, down south real quick.
	Well, I've been looking at a map very carefully, and eastern Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, that seems to be the magic spot.
	I'm sad there's no baseball teams there, but that seems to be the only flaw.
	And I can only imagine the fucking dive bars and how awesome they are.
	Forget about it.
	XCOMer.
	What is it?
	George.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	What are you wearing?
	I'm wearing a band sweatshirt that supports...
	Oh, sorry.
	I tried to add Amy Siskin on Instagram so I could comment on her shit about having sex with a pregnant woman.
	And so I tried to follow her and I checked back the next day and she declined it.
	Oh, I tried again, and then she declined it again.
	Well, you really want to get her on Twitter.
	I'm not on Twitter.
	Well, get on Twitter.
	Get on Twitter.
	She's got some big talk coming up that you have to DM her to see.
	But of course, she's going to check your other tweets before she okays it.
	But she really, I can't stress enough how Amy Siskin has to be called on her bullshit.
	Please follow her on Twitter and call her out every time she bullshits, which is on a 100% basis.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	And screenshot because she deletes her shit.
	Yeah, she deletes her retarded shit.
	But I wish I could get on there and fuck with her because she's just so, she just sums up the problem so beautifully.
	This is Steve.
	Yo.
	What's up, girl?
	Yes, Queen.
	Let's go.
	How'd you like that Dusty in person?
	Oh, I didn't...
	Dude, what are you doing?
	Dusty.
	Yo!
	Just smacking some beers over here.
	Well, the accent's off, but I...
	Who's that?
	Who's Dusty?
	Our Bogan.
	Our own Bogan.
	Oh, Jesus.
	That was terrible.
	That literally made my ribs hurt.
	It was so bad.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	He was trying to get something out, and then he realized what happened.
	That was a sad one.
	Daniel is on the line.
	Hey, how's it going, guys?
	What's up, dog?
	Yo, yo.
	Hey, thanks for shit.
	I just emailed y'all about taking more calls last week, and I appreciate taking the advice.
	Yeah.
	I was the one bitching.
	You're in.
	Sweet, yeah.
	So I noticed y'all, and I always enjoy when you guys try to master the art and science of rating women on their looks.
	And I find myself doing that a lot.
	One thing I've been trying to wrap my head around lately, because I always try to think of stuff that makes me angrier, and I find that y'all do that on the show as well.
	Do you think you could come up with a fag slash gay scale of things that are just pathetic and illusory?
	It's kind of like a little, almost like a little mental Rubik's cube here.
	It's called Everything Ryan Does.
	So if everything I is on.
	He bought a turquoise hand-knitted hat from Etsy.
	That's up there.
	That's going to be high on there.
	Yeah.
	But do you think it's possible?
	Because every time I think in this fucking clown world we live in, every time I think, oh, that's like the faggiest thing I've ever seen, the next day, my jaw is broken off.
	It's off.
	Because of how pathetic 2020, 2021 has become.
	I know, eh?
	Think of all the people when you read these absurd things, like Dr. Zeus being canceled.
	Think of all the men who go, yeah, good.
	I hated the way he drew Chinks.
	Like, that's truly disturbing is the ones who aren't outraged and go, well, you know, a lot of his drawings are antiquated.
	Pathetic.
	Yeah, the people are canceling that extremely high on a fag scale.
	But anyway, thanks for taking my call, guys.
	And on your feet, soldier.
	Oh, that was a good one.
	Look, you know who I just found the hottest woman I've ever seen in my fucking life.
	Her name is Dawn, and she's in Croods 2.
	She's a 10.
	I hope she's not a child.
	There's an animated broad, right?
	Yes.
	That's her on the right.
	I don't know if you could.
	That's kind of like anime simping.
	I hope she's not an infant.
	Well, she's a cartoon.
	She's a 10.
	That's my dream girl right there.
	Dawn.
	Dawn.
	What's her name?
	She's Dawn.
	I think she's a Jew.
	Maybe she's a Jew.
	So the Judes?
	The Judes.
	They'll only pay one rock.
	There she is.
	Joyride.
	Joyride?
	Sounds dumb.
	Where'd you go?
	I took Chuckie for a joyride.
	Joyride?
	Joyride?
	We rolled to death.
	Outside the wall.
	You took Dawn for a joyride outside the wall.
	Yeah.
	Well, the Vettermans, they don't want Dawn outside the wall.
	They're a Veterman.
	For a reason, you know, to keep everyone safe.
	Guy, relax.
	Yeah, guy.
	Take it down.
	Is she drunk?
	What's wrong with her?
	It's just a reaction to the B Venom.
	B Venom?
	Bee Venom!
	What the f ⁇ ?
	Just a little bee sting.
	Hey, you're not the boss of me.
	What does she look like?
	She looks like somebody.
	She looks like my wife.
	And she acts like her after two glasses of wine.
	All right, next call.
	It's called Bee Venom.
	You know, we have a pet Biden bumper somebody sent in?
	Oh, cool.
	Yep.
	You want to check it out?
	Of course I do.
	That's true.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	A monster of the president.
	He's big and smooth.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Wow.
	I mean, I could spend months with that.
	What's that thing we use, that app that they advertise on Stern to hire people?
	I forget what it's called, but I could spend months trying to find someone to make us interstitials.
	But that is fucking quality.
	That's exactly what I wanted, but better.
	It's funny, too.
	Wow, that's very funny.
	Who did that?
	Daniel.
	Blow him.
	I'm on it, sir.
	I command you to blow him.
	No problem.
	I had the urge to do so extracurricularly.
	Well, get on it.
	Okay.
	Get on it and get it in, your fucking chinky Puerto Rican bouche.
	Get on.
	Get in and get on.
	Get in.
	Stand black and stand blind.
	Stand back and stand blown because I'm coming in.
	I'm going to come.
	Justin is in the line.
	Hello?
	I'm going to come.
	Yo, Justin.
	Oh, John.
	No, Justin.
	There's just us.
	You got disconnected before, now you're back.
	Oh, what the fuck?
	He hung up again.
	Maybe he has a shitty connection.
	Maybe.
	Maybe, man.
	That's his thing.
	All right, now we got.
	Wow, that's crazy, man.
	Peanuts.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	What's going on, zipperheads?
	Nothing.
	Did you know zips are Italians?
	Oh, actually, didn't know that.
	Yeah.
	Zipper heads are rice balls, but zips are Italians.
	Anyway, go ahead.
	Did you know that I'm a care?
	That's funny.
	Anywho, I just wanted to say one thing about AOC.
	First of all, she is mildly hot.
	Secondly, I've noticed a pattern with the Democratic Party where when they don't get their way, they constantly shift the goalpost and they'll say conservative Democrats so that they don't blame themselves.
	It's like, no, it's not us.
	It's the conservatives in our party.
	And then it's like, pretty soon, the margin is going to become soaked in.
	And I guess people will realize, holy shit, we've been lied to the entire time.
	What do you think?
	Or are people just dumb enough?
	Give me an example.
	Like, who are they calling a conservative Democrat?
	Are they saying that about Cuomo?
	For example, the $1,400 checks, Biden ran on $2,000.
	Now it's $1,400 plus they took out the $15 an hour thing.
	That was what he promised.
	Now AOC is covering saying it was actually Manchin and the conservative Democrats that don't want to push for that along with the GOP.
	So it's actually them that are holding up the relief for Americans.
	And so it's constantly blaming the GOP with conservatives in their own party.
	So it's just interesting that it's always the right's fault.
	And also it always circles back to Trump regardless of what Biden's doing.
	I know.
	How long are they going to be able to do that?
	How long are they going to constantly, like, are they going to be able in three years to say classic Trump cleaning up his mess?
	It's even the case with Cuomo's sexual assault allegations.
	It's like, yeah, where was the menia with Trump?
	Literally up his asshole, raping his whole family?
	I mean, yeah, they never shut the fuck up about it.
	Ever.
	But anyway, I love you guys.
	Thanks for taking up my call.
	Appreciate you guys.
	Right on.
	All right.
	That was one of our rare Mexican callers.
	Oh, you think he was Mexican?
	Yeah, I think he was Mexican, man.
	I think he was from East LA.
	Oh, Josh is on the line.
	Hey, boys.
	Hey, so I was reading this book called Caste by Isabel Wilkerson.
	It's a horrendous book.
	It's about how blacks have been kept down due to this caste system.
	Whatever.
	It doesn't really matter.
	But it's lauded for its deep research.
	And it just can't be true that this author did any research because if I was to write a piece about why the New York Yankees were bad for baseball, well, I wouldn't go to Mets and Red Sox fans and ask them why.
	Like, I already know.
	So it just kind of, if I can't make the case for what I'm against, well, then what the hell am I even writing a piece about?
	Like, it seems to me that if I can't make the case, so in light of this Dr. Seuss thing, if I can't make a case that's pro-cancel culture, then what the hell am I even writing about if I'm, you know what I mean?
	How could I be against it if I can't articulate why I'm against it?
	So I was racking my brain to try and figure out just how I would make the case to be pro-cancel culture.
	And Java Ryan, I got to tell you, I got nothing.
	So I was wondering if you guys could possibly make the case.
	Why be pro-cancel culture?
	Is that your question?
	Okay, I'll assume it's your question.
	Yes.
	You're pro-cancel culture because it's power.
	Like, I can't fuck with LeBron James.
	If we played one-on-one, I would lose.
	He's way better than me.
	And even if I practiced a whole bunch, I could never approach his talent.
	But if I could somehow call him racist or anti-Semitic, all of a sudden, little old me sitting at my computer has this power where I can rally the troops against him.
	I find him saying the word chink one day.
	Thanks for calling, by the way.
	And I hold that against him.
	I get all these Asian people to boycott him.
	And now I'm in LeBron James's league.
	We're the same person.
	I'm big enough to crush him.
	So I'm as big as his fucking coaches and the owner of the team and his agent and all these people.
	All of a sudden, I'm elevated to his status.
	So, people who can't make it up with meritocracy, they can't make it up to, I want to say our levels, but anyone's level, they use this cancel culture as a tool to give them a leg up.
	And it's fucking pathetic, evil, deranged, but it works.
	So, I totally understand their narrative.
	And that's why I was so impressed when Ron Coleman said these people are Bolsheviks.
	All Bolsheviks care about is power.
	And the proof of it is secular Jews shitting on Israel.
	So, you're so determined to win that you'll shit on your homeland.
	You'll shit on Israel just to get a leg up.
	And that's why they like that shit.
	It's the same reason that a moron like Ryan says dinosaurs don't exist.
	It's the same reason women get into astrology.
	It's like, I don't want to do the work.
	I just want to jump to the end and be in the same league as someone at the end.
	This is the drawing I made, by the way.
	It's got lots of shading on the letters.
	That looks like it was printed.
	Because it's so beautiful?
	Well, yeah, and it's consistent.
	It doesn't look like there's any flaws in it.
	Yeah, that's called being amazing.
	Okay, never mind.
	Here is Justin again.
	Hey, guys.
	Sorry about that.
	Can you hear me?
	Yep.
	Third time's a charm.
	Hey, Gav, right?
	I'm an idiot.
	I have you guys in a coffee can because it makes the phone louder.
	So sorry about that.
	I'm just being an idiot.
	But Gav, I wanted to know your thoughts on Howard this week.
	And did you pick up on the few times that kind of gave the impression that there's big parts of the show that's pre-recorded now?
	Whoa.
	No, I actually haven't gone to the gym because of my ribs.
	So I haven't really heard that much of Stern.
	I heard him bitching about more COVID shit.
	I heard Ronnie Mund.
	I heard a great poem Ronnie Mund wrote about winter, which was amazing.
	But no, I didn't hear that much this week.
	I love him bitching at everyone for not getting the vaccine when you know he would never get the vaccine at gunpoint.
	Yeah, yeah.
	The whole thing with him, it's like, just wear the mask, get the vaccine.
	It's like, dude, you've been sitting in your basement for about a year at this point.
	You're still microwaving your blueberries with baking soda.
	Literally, he is.
	He's not the expert on COVID anymore.
	Yeah, he is.
	He washes them with baking soda and stuff.
	What the?
	But also, do you think it's funny?
	I think it was last week, or maybe it was Monday.
	It kind of blends together anymore.
	But a caller actually got through and asked him about Como.
	I was like, well, why aren't you saying about this?
	And he was like, you know, I don't talk about politics.
	This is a political show.
	And it was just like steamrolled over the next question.
	And then today and then yesterday, he opens up the show with bitching about how the governor of Texas sucks because of the whole power issue.
	And now with the thing with them lifting the mask mandates and the lockdown.
	And I was just like, dude, when are you, you had Come on twice, twice.
	You had guests on that were like begging him to like have sex with them and you have no comment with it now?
	It just.
	Yeah, I think that was last week.
	So he was making fun of Texas.
	The Texas case is bizarre because we look at it and we go, wind turbines, fucking solar, what were you thinking?
	Why didn't you have coal?
	And yeah, they froze.
	They're inefficient ways to power things.
	And then the left is like, why didn't you guys have special de-icing machines on your retarded wind turbines?
	That's because you're right wing.
	And it's like, well, you told us there's global warming.
	It's never going to get cold here.
	And it got cold.
	So the right sees Texas as a great example of why you'll need fossil fuels.
	And the left sees Texas as a great example of how unprepared these stupid rednecks are in Texas.
	I don't get it.
	But yeah, Stern wouldn't shut up about the government and how great they are at supplying power and how great they are at everything.
	And you need government.
	You need intellectuals.
	He reveres bureaucrats to a disturbing level.
	And after shitting on Texas, doing a Southern accent, by the way, and how stupid Southerners are.
	Yeah, oh, I'm from Texas.
	I don't like education.
	I just like my guns.
	He was doing that stupid hack shit.
	And then a Texan, a dumb old Texan, we already talked about this.
	He called in and he goes, how about Cuomo?
	And then all of a sudden, on a dime, Starn goes, look, I'm not political.
	I don't know what he should have done, what he shouldn't have done.
	I know what he shouldn't have done.
	Murdered old people.
	We had a giant ship come into our harbor that no one used.
	We had all of Central Park used up with tents.
	No one was in them.
	I was there.
	They were empty.
	The ship went home.
	Yeah, they built two, I think it was two hospitals and they sent the ship, the big ship, the Red Cross ship.
	And I think they sent two patients over there.
	He has no standing.
	It's completely inexcusable other than trying to save money towards their Medicaid payments.
	That's the only reason I could think of why they sent all the old people to their death, just to relieve their budget so they didn't have to put out so much for a Medicaid patient.
	But weren't those tents and that boat paid for by FEMA?
	Isn't that a federal cost?
	I don't know.
	That's a good question.
	I don't know.
	But yeah, it was a pathetic shit show.
	And the fact that he's getting pilloried for this kind of crap with the girls, I'll take it.
	Whatever.
	I mean, if you catch him not wiping his ass, fine, as long as he's on people's radar, the left will cannibalize him.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	I'm just glad to see him suffer.
	Did you just force quit the calls?
	No.
	Kevin Smith actually shed some light on what he's like, you know, off the thing.
	You know, like his kind of integrity as a cocksucker?
	How'd you know that?
	Oh, you saw this clip before.
	That day when he had me on, he had this kind of really reductive, like, Kevin Smith is always calling in and trying to be on this show that broke my heart.
	I was like, I've never once called this show asking to be on it with the exception of this time to promote this DVD.
	And at that point, I was just like, you feel weird.
	Like, you're going over to some dude's house who's the popular kid, and then when you're there with him alone in the room, he's nice to you, but then when other people are looking, he's like, look at that guy.
	That guy's a loser, everybody, right?
	I'd like to go to Opian Anthony, and you can literally sit there, and those dudes are like, take the ball, dude, tell stories.
	Like, we talk all the time.
	You talk, tell your stories.
	So, for me, I'd much rather go a place where they shared a ball and they're not going to make you feel bad.
	Like, just to get on the show.
	You're talking about Chris Cuomo or Anthony?
	He's talking about Opian Anthony.
	I know, but who was he originally talking about?
	This was a while ago, so he was trying to promote.
	Why did you just play that, Ryan?
	Because that's some insight onto Howard Stern.
	So he's nice to him.
	Oh, he's talking about Howard Stern.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Oh, yeah, okay.
	So he was, you know, he's friendly with him and stuff like that.
	But then in a group of people, he'll throw him under the bus and be like, well, Kevin's fat and he's stupid and his movies suck.
	No, he didn't say that.
	He said he was always trying to get on the show.
	Okay, next caller.
	Oh, my arm.
	I'm so Matthew talking about the Great Pyramids.
	What's up, Matt?
	Hello, Gavin and Gavin's least favorite son.
	I'd like to say the two-hour servings for shows, I like them.
	I'd like to say one to eat and one to enjoy.
	I wanted to mention the Proud Boys Respond episode at 40 minutes, 47 seconds.
	The lesbian, you said, his name is John Doyle.
	I'd just like to give him a word.
	He has a lot of values that coincide with yours.
	I think you might approve.
	Okay.
	But as far as my question, topics like the existence of dinosaurs, which has been very entertaining, saga up until now, I just would like to know what you guys think about how the Great Pyramids were made.
	I'd like to say that I'm convinced that it was made by a technologically advanced society that was long lost.
	Not speaking aliens, just like pre-deluge.
	The claim is they were erased from the surface of the earth pretty much by the great flood.
	I think it was made by slaves, by Arabs, and they used sand as scaffolding to pile it up high, high, high.
	And they would make a layer by rolling giant stones on logs.
	And they would place it.
	And then they would add sand to that layer and then do it again.
	And they kept going to the top.
	So by the time they're at the top, you just saw this massive hill of sand.
	And then they blew or took the sand away over time and you had a pyramid.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Aliens did not make the fucking pyramids.
	Jesus Christ.
	This is what happens.
	It's funny because I always say we don't need education.
	Stop education.
	And then all these uneducated people clearly have a craving for knowledge and are coming up with bullshit like dinosaurs don't exist.
	Egyptians didn't make the pyramids.
	9-11 was a bunch of fucking, what's it called?
	Seamite?
	That thermite.
	That's all thermite.
	People think the election was meddled with, too.
	A lot of crazy people out there.
	A lot of crazy people.
	They think that COVID is overblown.
	So they have to stop asking questions and learn.
	Ronnie is on the line.
	Ronald McDonald?
	Go ahead, RDOG.
	Make sure your kids are okay.
	Let's try.
	We'll keep him on and then take somebody else to see.
	Matt?
	Oh, it does work.
	Hello?
	Who's this?
	Hi.
	Matt Andrews.
	Gotcha.
	All right.
	What's up?
	Do you hear me?
	Yes.
	Oh, okay.
	Sorry.
	I don't know if Gav remembers me.
	We did like a podcast together a while ago, but I was wondering what his opinion on Sebastian Gorka is.
	Just like food for thought.
	I remember you.
	We were at this retreat, business retreat, and I did a podcast with you.
	I made fun of you a lot for being a virgin.
	I barely remembered it.
	I was wasted.
	And you tried to get Sebastian Gorka on the show, and he said, fuck you, because you had Loomer on the show.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And basically, I said, like, I just gave him my list of previous guests because I figured that would maybe urge him to do it.
	And he goes, Loomer, no thanks.
	And I was like, well, I don't know why you would say that, but why does talking to someone make me not want to do it?
	And he goes, well, it means that you endorse that guest and she's a loon or something like that.
	And then I sent it to Laura and she was like, yeah, he's always been an asshole.
	So I was wondering what you thought.
	Yeah, I don't know Sebastian Gorka very well.
	He seems like a pretty cool guy the few times I've hung out or like spoken to him.
	But I do resent this concept of having a guest means you endorse him.
	Like I had Richard Spencer on my show and we argued about his ridiculous views.
	I had David Duke on my show as a joke with a black guest where we talked about white bread.
	I had Jared Taylor on my show where he debated the rapper R.A. the Rugged Man.
	I mean, Richard Spencer was on CNN and ESPN.
	David Duke was on CNN.
	You're allowed to have guests.
	In fact, if you didn't have guests that you disagree with, then your show would just be Howard Stern, which is just him asslicking celebrities for an hour and a half.
	It's painfully boring.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Sorry you didn't get Gorka.
	Got a long way to go, my friend.
	I'm going to try Ronnie.
	Ronnie or Tom.
	10,000 hours, Matt.
	10,000 hours.
	You've been doing this for like, what, a few months?
	718 number.
	Look at Naradwar the Human Serviette.
	Look at how much work he's done.
	British Columbia, Canada.
	Thank God.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, listen, I just wanted to ask you, you have any opinions on the Landau bolting from Compound Media thing?
	It's really annoying to me that he quits working with a legend to go work with this guy.
	I'm not a big, I was never a big fan of Kratos.
	He always appealed to me like the Morning Zoo type of the webcast, right?
	So he quits the show that kept him employed, going to quarantine where all comedians have been sidelined, literally the perimeters of entertainment.
	And he just bolts through an email.
	And I know you're not a big fan of people working with comedians.
	And you're so accurate on that.
	And I'm just, I'm trying to wrap my head around this little worm who bolted on this guy.
	Well, we talked about this on the show the other day.
	We talked about it on the show as Anthony's friend, and I don't know Dave that well.
	I obviously side with Anthony, and it is shitty.
	And I do think it's weird that Crowder would poach Kumia's sidekick.
	But on the other hand, from Dave Landau's perspective, you're making X amount of dollars.
	Say he's making $300 an app.
	I don't know.
	And Crowder goes, I'll offer you $600 an app, or maybe $1,000 an app.
	I mean, Landau's got a young kid.
	He kind of has to do it.
	That's business.
	If someone makes you a better offer, you got to go with it.
	Is Anthony not moving as well?
	He's moving to North Carolina or South Carolina soon.
	Yeah, what does that matter?
	Well, I mean, because Dave then has to go there or they would do it remotely.
	So Crowder's in Texas.
	Yeah, I understand that.
	But that's kind of like in limbo.
	But Ryan.
	So he has to move either way is what you're saying.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it.
	So your point's retarded for a change.
	Right?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	We talked about this on the show yesterday.
	Look it up.
	Thanks for calling.
	I mean, that's what happened to me.
	I was offered 11 times my salary to go to Blaze.
	I was like, okay.
	I said to, I actually, you know what I did?
	I said to Keith, I go, I just had this offer.
	Let's say it was 10 bucks.
	You're paying me $2.
	If you came back with $8, I could say fuck off to the $2.
	But you need to get within the same universe as this offer.
	And he's like, can't do it, dude.
	And I went, I said to him, what would you do in my shoes?
	I can't remember what he said, but, you know, I would be a bitch if I refused an 11 times offer.
	But I really wanted to be Anthony's sidekick.
	I actually offered my services up many times before my Blaze gig.
	But he didn't want me.
	I think it would probably be because we're both kind of alphas, so it would be like the Superman and Batman show.
	And that doesn't really make for it, because we're both competing.
	You need a Batman and a Robin.
	Or in our case, a Goliath and a David.
	Right.
	Remember the Artie days?
	Yeah, that's interesting because Artie was kind of a Batman.
	It was a Superman, Batman with him and Artie.
	Well, he had a Batman.
	He was the Batman as far as reputation goes, but he wasn't, I don't, I think he was more of a Robin in the.
	But I think Artie was such a drunken fuck-up and such a meandering mess that it was clear Anthony was leading the show.
	Right.
	So it was like Superman and Batman after being hit by a truck.
	But if Artie was on his game 100% and had like a large breakfast and no heroin that day, he might be.
	What's Artie up to these days?
	I hear he's in his mother's basement doing absolutely nothing.
	Maybe.
	Is he doing heroin?
	And more importantly, does he have a septum?
	Probably not.
	Like, I want to take a night course in nose jobs so I can get in there and just add whatever they put up here, a little piece of plastic.
	I mean, I could use part of my...
	I could take the cover off my phone.
	I could take an L-shape off my phone and just stuff it up there.
	His fucking nose looks like something out of Disneyland.
	Look at that.
	Click on that.
	Look at that thing.
	I mean, fix that.
	Yeah, I've actually never seen it.
	Look at that fucking picture.
	I've never had a nose like that before, oddly enough.
	He looks like he's at the zoo and he's pushing his face up against the glass to get a better look at the polar bears.
	Dude, fix that.
	Please.
	Did I ever think about Donny Curtis?
	I'll pay for it.
	If we did a GoFundMe and said we're sick of looking at this deflated sleeping bag of a nose, we'd raise a million dollars overnight.
	Fucking Jesus.
	I don't care if he retires or even dies, but I don't want to see that weird bag of potatoes in the coffin.
	Yeah, what if just whoever does the coroner or whoever?
	Yeah, hey, coroners, if you ever get Artie Lang's body, can you put a toothpick in there or something?
	Put some tissue paper, anything.
	All right, next call.
	Max.
	Or Mac.
	Sorry, that's my bad click.
	Mac, you're on the line.
	Hey, boys.
	Hey.
	Hey, so we all know that Gavin has his greatest hit, and I think Ryan might have a potential one that he doesn't want to admit.
	Uh-oh.
	My friend died?
	The only time he's ever told this story was, I think, when it was the audio-only version, and he's never told it since, and he owes it to the new viewers to tell the On Your Feet Soldier story.
	Great point, caller.
	Thank you for calling.
	Okay.
	I just, you know, I get a lot of comments that say On Your Feet Soldier, and I'm numb to it.
	I forget.
	I'm like, I forget to say that.
	Just tell the fucking story, please.
	But the other day when I saw it, I was like, what was that from again?
	Or not, what was that from, but like, why do people keep saying it?
	And it's because of the cringiest story of my entire life.
	And my grandfather was drinking.
	Let me just interject.
	When a Puerto Rican says their grandfather, think of your father.
	Like, the guy's 50.
	Yeah, he's a young spry man who could just kick ass.
	Yeah.
	And so he, yeah, he was drinking.
	This was years back, but he's been sober for a while now, but he was drunk and he was feeling like a little suicidal.
	He was talking about suicide, right?
	And so he, and then my grandmother, she's like, Ryan, Come upstairs.
	Your grandfather wants to talk to you.
	He's really in a bad way.
	And I was like, What's the matter?
	He's like, He's talking about killing himself.
	And so I was like, Oh my god.
	Was there a particular event that had made him sad?
	No, I think maybe the drinking and the memories and maybe regretting, doing regretful stuff throughout the years.
	There's a couple things.
	You know, we've seen him drunk before, and he reflects on bad.
	I mean, he's really functional for a Vietnam vet.
	You know, I mean, a lot of Vietnam vets do just fine, but the shit he saw was pretty fucked up.
	So he's probably just going through that.
	Just stuff that I saw was crazy.
	So he was like, come here, poppy.
	He's like, man, I don't know.
	I don't think I can do this anymore or whatever, something like that.
	How old were you?
	He was kind of weeping.
	Maybe like 15 to not 17.
	15 to like 17.
	Let's say 16.
	Okay.
	That's fair.
	And so he was like, he was like, I don't know.
	He was crying.
	And then I was like, I grabbed his arm and I said, I was like, come on.
	I was like, get up.
	On your feet, soldier.
	Trying to boost his morale.
	Wait a minute.
	Don't dilute it.
	Didn't you stand up at like attention and bark at him?
	On your feet, soldier?
	It was somewhere in between what I did and what that was.
	Yeah, I was like, on your feet, soldier, or something like that.
	And I actually said corporal, corporal was put in there.
	So I said his rank.
	He was a sergeant, but he got demoted for some shenanigans.
	Him and his buddies went out.
	And it's just the crazy like a little Asian twink telling a grown Vietnam vent.
	He watched his friend's head come off.
	Right.
	And you're like, I'm on your feet somewhere.
	Someone caused another man's head to come off.
	And I look like Charlie, too.
	He probably thinks I'm setting bamboo traps in the hallway.
	Well, you know, it's good when, like, 10, 20 years later, you remember it, you're lying in bed alone in the dark and you go, yeah.
	I blank it out like a sexual assault.
	You know, like, I first.
	You sexually assaulted yourself with gayness.
	That's correct.
	That's pretty good.
	On your feet, soldier.
	On your feet, soldier.
	And then he was like, and then he went, I can't kill myself.
	I'm not going to kill myself.
	I have to kill him.
	That's embarrassing.
	I need like a year to go by.
	So that's my death isn't related to that.
	I don't want that to be the last thing.
	I don't want to be remotely associated with that.
	He was like, Ryan, you did it.
	What'd you say?
	Never mind, grandma.
	I was so cringe that he needed another year of life to separate himself from what I said.
	You know, Poppy, I've seen some horrors out there, but what you just said.
	You are a good.
	You're like my buddy at the gym, Jalapeno, who thinks that he has magic powers and he can go heal people.
	That's true.
	So he goes to people who have a bad leg or something.
	He'll drive like to Tennessee and just like for 700 bucks.
	Wow.
	And then go back home.
	What a good racket.
	Meanwhile, he walks like someone shot him eight minutes ago.
	Charity starts at home, buddy.
	Yeah.
	You know, magic, I thought, I didn't think I could do magic, but I remember another cringe thing.
	This is when I was about seven years old.
	There were like cute girls walking by me in the green window.
	You're trying to be cringe at seven, dude, but okay, we'll hear you out.
	Like I wanted to get their attention.
	They were like over there.
	So I pretended I was like, there was wind, and I was pretending I could control the wind.
	So I was going like.
	Now you're just being gay and you're talking about yourself.
	And that's no, you're like, how cute am I?
	God, you're fucking cute.
	That's not cringy.
	No, it's you talking about how cute you were.
	And we're all supposed to go, what a cutie.
	Fuck off.
	I don't think that please.
	I'm not cute at all.
	I was so cringe when I was a baby.
	It's pretty gay, but go ahead.
	Scotty.
	Hey, how's it going, guys?
	Hey, man.
	Hey, my call-in screen says something else, but I thought of something better.
	I'm getting married in about 85 days to my love, and she's amazing.
	And I was wondering if you had any advice for some young, God-serving young people who are looking to get married.
	Well, you probably can't afford this if you're just getting married, but I would advise separate bathrooms as much as possible.
	Is that possible?
	I don't think so, but we can make boundaries.
	Yeah, I mean...
	I can lock her up and allow her to go to the bathroom once a day.
	And at that time, I'll be out of the house.
	Yeah, and then when you get a house that you can, well, you don't have a house, you have an apartment, I assume.
	Yeah.
	So when you get a house, you make sure you get two bathrooms and you have a separate bathroom.
	But my advice is what I always say on this show, which is you're never done courting.
	You know, you never want to be seen like picking your ass and smelling it.
	You want to wear suits.
	She should wear heels.
	Obviously not every day, but sometimes.
	And, you know, she's not your roommate.
	She's a woman you're courting.
	And here's an analogy I've said a hundred times, but you don't want to show her weakness.
	You don't want to show her.
	You tell your buddy, here's the example.
	You're running down the street with a chocolate cake.
	You trip and your face falls right into the cake and you're covered in chocolate cake.
	That's a funny story to tell your friends.
	You should definitely act it out, show them, explain the cake.
	They'll be very amused.
	Do not tell your wife that story.
	Throw the cake in the garbage, clean your face off, go get a new cake, say that they fucked up and it's not ready yet.
	Like, don't be vulnerable around her.
	Billy Joel said, tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams, and he was promptly dumped.
	So don't get into this mind frame where you guys are soulmates and you can shit while she's brushing her teeth.
	That's the beginning of the end.
	Always keep a stiff upper lip.
	If she's freaking out about turbulence on the plane, you hold her hand and you explain that it's just a bus in the sky.
	And there's more bus accidents than there are plane accidents.
	So we're actually less safe on a Greyhound bus than we are on this plane.
	And then you can quietly shit your pants and look out the window going, we're going to fucking die.
	Thanks for calling.
	Yeah, that's good.
	Never give in Jason.
	Hush, hush.
	Keep it down now.
	Voices carry.
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, so you guys had a video a couple weeks ago.
	That's a lie.
	Context to it.
	It was off the grid with that Nicole chick and her husband or whatever.
	In any case, she went to the high school that I went to.
	Oh, I saw you wrote into the show.
	What was that?
	You wrote into the mailbag.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, she went to my high school, but I think you asked in the videos, like, how do they make their money or something like that?
	And she came from a pretty nice family.
	I think the guy has all the money, but she's doing OnlyFans for like a ton of money.
	And that's basically how they get their money, I guess, living up there.
	So we've got like, I think the count's four porn stars now from my high school.
	It's pretty wild.
	We've got a pretty high ratio.
	But yeah, I just want to put some context to that.
	And didn't he dump his wife?
	I'm not sure.
	He didn't go to our high school.
	I think he lived in Washington, like Vancouver or something.
	But all I know is that she has a sister in my grade, and she was at our high school.
	And we have actually a lot of people that were pretty decent friends with her, and they just stumbled across all this nonsense.
	She's got like 500K subscribers on YouTube.
	Oh, my God.
	What's her name?
	Her name is Nicole.
	And I think, I don't know what her last name is.
	Last name was Wineland when she went to my high school up in Oregon.
	But yeah, now she's just with that dude up there, and she's cranking out like OnlyFans, Instagram, YouTube, all that stuff.
	She's making, I guess, really good money because they're doing crazy shit.
	And what's their YouTube called?
	YouTube is, I think it's just like off the grid with Jake and Nicole.
	And she's like half naked in like the first video that you find.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	I remember her being fucking insanely hot.
	But if you're on OnlyFans, you're a prostitute.
	You're not a sex worker.
	There's no such thing as a sex worker.
	Those are oxymorons.
	That's an anoxymoron.
	That's like saying I'm a shit worker.
	What do you do?
	I go poo-poo.
	Well, if you charge people to see that, then you're a disgusting person who takes a shit.
	Sex is something we all do.
	It's a bodily function, and it's very pleasant, especially when you're with the one you love.
	When you sell that, you're selling the most sacred part of yourself.
	I'm not talking about men, although it is kind of weird with men.
	Like Jacob Wall has a very successful Only account, OnlyFans account.
	It's all faggots, paying him money to see him work out.
	And I'm like, he's like, I make tons of money.
	I go, yeah, but you're a prostitute.
	But I don't really have a lot of stigma with that.
	Whatever.
	Gays can admire a dude.
	It's not really as sad as a woman.
	A woman has, and I try to explain this to my daughter.
	Your chastity is like a bank account.
	It's like a bag of gold coins.
	And it's given to you at puberty.
	Oh, you start having your period.
	Here's a bag of gold coins.
	They're finite.
	So if you fuck everything that moves, your bag is empty.
	And no one wants it anymore.
	It's like a guy's dick is a key.
	A woman's pussy is a lock.
	If a key could go into every lock and work, it's a pretty cool key.
	I'd want that key.
	If a lock accepts every single key it takes, it's a shitty lock.
	It doesn't exist.
	So these women throwing away their gold coins, they think, hey, look, I got all this money.
	I traded in my gold coins for cash.
	Yeah, but there's less gold coins in your sal.
	Oh, she's not that hot.
	But up for kindling and firewood.
	It's all untreated.
	It's right here.
	Spruce and cedar.
	Where's the nude?
	I thought she's in the first video.
	She's nude.
	Yeah, I've been scrubbing.
	So in the thumbnail, she's shirtless in every one of them almost, right?
	You know, she's got her butt cheeks.
	Every single one.
	She's shirtless and showing her butt cheeks.
	And then you click on it, and he's talking about firewood.
	Looking like a bulky David Spade.
	What a fucking loser he is.
	Farming your wife out.
	If you're not jealous, you're a piece of shit.
	I remember my wife, when we were dating, they were doing a recreation of that Jimi Hendrix cover where everyone's shirtless.
	And she goes, all my friends are doing this.
	This artist is doing a recreation of Jimi Hendrix album cover.
	Would you be okay with me being part of that?
	And I was like, no.
	You're not doing that.
	Absolutely not.
	And I think she appreciated it.
	I like that.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I remember a black girl dumped me once because I wasn't jealous enough.
	She wanted me to beat her during sex and be like, you looking at another man?
	What the fuck, you crazy bitch?
	I don't know why I did it in a black accent.
	But that was absurd levels of jealousy.
	But a normal level of jealousy is, I don't want you being a prostitute.
	For fuck's sakes.
	Is that the cover?
	Yeah, Ryan, that's the cover.
	Well, I don't see any.
	That's the Jimi Hendrix album with all the hot chicks with their tits out.
	By scrolling.
	And by hot chicks, I meant cobras, and by tits, I meant none.
	I don't know.
	I just did a lot of scrolling.
	I don't see it.
	Okay.
	What's the album called?
	Or tits.
	Jimi Hendrix Naked Ladies?
	Try?
	I'm pretty sure it was Jimi Hendrix.
	Boom, ba-doom, ba-doom-doom.
	Oh, Electric Ladyland.
	Yeah.
	I like how you say that, like, that was the missing link.
	Well, I got the moderate search, So that probably doesn't help.
	Why do you have that?
	Because every time we show nudity, we say not safe for work and it's a big deal.
	And anytime I went on a picture and there was like nudity around it, you were like, for fuck's sake, there's like a dick right there.
	Well, take off the filter, please.
	It's off.
	Well, the Electric Ladyland is still digitized.
	That's a good point.
	I don't know what.
	Electric Ladyland unsensitive.
	Detective Shitty strikes again.
	It's the filter I have.
	Changes to the filters.
	Problem persists.
	Are you on Brave?
	Whoops.
	Yeah, Electric Ladyland.
	Do you have Jimi Hendrix in there still?
	There we go, I guess.
	Anyway, they were going to recreate that.
	Why can't your fucking Google work?
	And I said, fuck them.
	I wish them nothing but the best, but it's only my girlfriend.
	Although, if you're a young lady and your peak of beauty is not porn, maybe you should pose nude.
	Then you'll have that picture forever.
	Not my girlfriend, not my daughter.
	Not my sister.
	But maybe you.
	Alright, next go.
	716.
	Kevin, I was just wondering, what the fuck are you talking about with your satchel and the bag of gold coins?
	That's a woman's chassity.
	What's up, guys?
	How you doing?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Good, good.
	I'm reading your book right now, and I was wondering if you can elaborate more on Sally Wu.
	You have a strangely Lithuanian accent.
	I do.
	Is that where you're from?
	I do.
	Yeah.
	No, no, I'm Buffalo.
	Huh.
	I thought I heard an Eastern European accent.
	Yeah, I'm reading your book.
	I'm reading your book, and I can't stop laughing.
	I wear a retainer, so maybe that's it.
	Oh, okay.
	Aren't you a little old for a retainer?
	No, I just at night.
	It's terrible.
	What?
	Is that better?
	How's that?
	Is that better?
	A little bit, yeah.
	Still sound retarded.
	I was reading your book, and I was laughing my ass off at your Sally Wu stories, and I was wondering if you can elaborate.
	Well, I had to change all the names because for legal purposes.
	So which one was Sally Wu?
	Was she the one who did like naked newscasting?
	What was her job?
	No, she was the one that you had Asian gangbang with in 2000 and then 2003.
	The one with the Asian chick with a fat ass.
	Oh, the one I almost married.
	Yeah, I met the Asian Three Something, 2003.
	That's where I'm at right now.
	Yeah, she was Pilipina.
	Oh, if she had a big ass, I think I know who it was.
	Yeah, I often wonder what life would have been like if I had married her because she was just so fucking horny.
	But I think you're remembering your early 20s when you think of girls that you dated back then, and you're assuming that their libido would continue into your 50s, which is not necessarily true.
	But yeah, she was amazing, man.
	What a smokeshot.
	All right, guys.
	Thank you.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	I mean, what am I going to say without revealing her identity?
	Matt.
	I think the one he's talking about directed the latest Rita Orr video.
	If I can drop that bomb.
	No, don't look it up.
	How's it going, dude?
	Hi, what's up?
	I was wondering what you thought about the Uyghur situation in China.
	And there's a good Vice documentary about it with this hot chick, Isabelle Young.
	She's like a perfect seven, cover of Seven magazine.
	Yeah, I don't really care about the Uyghurs.
	When I think about how many Christians are killed a day, I think it's 12 in the world.
	And I think of what a fucking disgusting communist shithole China is and the way, you know, Venezuelans and Cubans live in socialist shitholes.
	I just, I'm sorry.
	I don't care.
	I think it's wrong the way they treat them, but I don't feel anything.
	Do you?
	Yeah, I just think it's crazy how well the Chinese government can cover it up in America.
	It could never happen.
	I mean, I think it's because of the people in China.
	Yeah, they all live in perpetual fear.
	It's a disgusting shithole.
	But, you know, that's the life of everyone in China.
	When I was there, they talked about police brutality.
	A journalist talked about police brutality.
	The police beat him to death.
	Like, you can't be Christian there.
	There's no churches there.
	It's illegal to be religious of any religion.
	So, yes, there's concentration camps for Muslims where they treat them like slaves, but that's life in a communist country.
	It's a disgusting shithole top to bottom.
	And I kind of almost resent this disproportional empathy for these Muslims because I'll have some empathy left over after I deal with the war on Christianity in the Middle East and northern Iraq and Africa and all over the fucking place.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	But yeah, I don't care.
	I just don't care.
	You can't get mad at me.
	Those are my feelings.
	Feelings matter.
	I always say to my daughter, your feelings matter.
	If you're mad at me, you're not wrong.
	That anger comes from somewhere.
	It didn't manifest itself out of thin air.
	If you're scared, if you're walking, and I always say, because she likes to go to the city a lot, and I go, trust your instincts.
	If you just feel bad on a certain block at a certain time, then that badness is there for a reason.
	It's 200,000 years of evolution.
	And something, your pheromones, your sensors, your synapses are sending you a message.
	Get the fuck out of there.
	Who was the hot chick he was talking about?
	A half-breed.
	Some bitch.
	Didn't you just pull her up?
	Yeah, Isobel.
	What, you forgot?
	Young vice.
	I showed her, but she's, I mean, it's a droid.
	Who cares?
	You're not into these?
	I don't know what I'm even looking at.
	I don't.
	So you as a half-Asian hate half Asians.
	Half-Asians?
	I don't see any.
	Like, I see there's features.
	That's a perfectly good neighbor or passerby or like a.
	Yeah.
	There's nothing attractive about her.
	There's nothing ugly about her either.
	But certainly nothing ugly.
	She said she's on the cover of 7 magazine.
	She's cute there.
	I think she's on the cover of 6.7 magazine.
	But we're only 0.3 off.
	Like, that's a negative.
	I definitely could not have stayed advice.
	Documentaries about other places in the world couldn't possibly interest me less.
	I don't fucking care about skateboarders in Bangladesh.
	Wish them nothing but the best.
	Don't care.
	Corey.
	Who's next?
	Hello.
	Yellow.
	You guys hear me?
	No, not at all.
	Oh, hey, Gavin.
	Hey, man.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Oh, shit.
	I like Ryan as just a friend.
	Okay, thank you.
	Boundaries established.
	Yes, sir.
	Assuming you're both in your prime.
	Nope.
	You versus your dad, who's getting their ass knocked out.
	I think you've written into the show with this question.
	Yes, but I also called into the show with it now.
	And I also think we answered this.
	Me and my prime, I'm not sure I could take the guy now.
	I always say with fighting, the number of fights you've been in is more relevant than anything else.
	It's all about practice makes perfect.
	My dad had to fight every day of his adolescence and early adulthood, maybe even childhood, because he had scholarships and he had a student uniform, which is unthinkable in his neighborhood.
	I've probably been in like 10 fights at the most.
	I'm not counting sparring because that doesn't really count.
	So I think I might be able to beat him up now and that he's 76 and I'm 50, but it would be a good fight and it would last a long time.
	But as far as the prime, I would just be knocked out instantly.
	He would headbutt me.
	My nose would explode.
	I'd ask Ryan, but he doesn't have a bad.
	This is him and his, I don't know, prime, but my mom took this picture.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	And he might have, I don't know, don't Japs know like Kung Fu or something?
	They know karate.
	I feel like that.
	He used to be like in a biker gang, too, so he probably would have.
	I'm going to go with something wrong with that for 800.
	He was in a biker gang?
	Yeah.
	When I was young, I used to want to ride Motorcycle.
	In Japan?
	Japan, yeah.
	Japan had Hell's Angels.
	Oh, yeah?
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	I think they were established.
	Let's see.
	It was Chuck Zito that was down there establishing it.
	So that would probably be late 80s, early 90s.
	That could have been him.
	They don't look so tough.
	They'll probably kill you, though.
	Danger people.
	Hell's Angels forever.
	Wait, that's Japan?
	There's a lot of white dudes in it.
	That'd be a cool jacket to have.
	Hell's Angels Japan.
	Hell's Angels Japan.
	If you don't know what you're doing in life, go to Japan and join the Hell's Angels.
	Because that'll be basically the coolest jacket you could possibly have.
	Hell's Angels Tokyo.
	Yeah, imagine you had a Hell's Angels all broken in.
	Indonesia, I mean, that's a cooler jacket, but a broken in Hell's Angels Tokyo jacket.
	And it's not broken in because you dragged it behind a truck.
	It's broken in because you were in the Japanese Hell's Angels for 13 years.
	Hell's Angels a soul.
	Wow, that would be cool.
	There's a Thailand chapter.
	Eh, Thailand's too hot.
	You gotta wear shorts.
	What was that violent gang documentary?
	Hell's Angels and Mongols.
	Mongols are bad news, dude.
	Mongoloid?
	Don't say anything bad about the Mongols or they'll blow up the studio.
	No, that's about Asians.
	All right, next call.
	Johanna.
	It's Johannes.
	You got this one wrong last time I called in, too.
	Oh, hold on.
	Let me try to care.
	Thanks, Gavin.
	How are you doing?
	I actually wanted to start off the call by saying, if not said often enough, thank you for what you do.
	You have a great product.
	I'd never miss an episode.
	I've been a subscriber for a year now, and it's awesome.
	Oh, great.
	Good to hear, man.
	That's the first thing.
	Yeah.
	Actually, I wanted to call for a long time about this topic.
	It's about your Canadian accent.
	And I don't even know where to start, but last night's episode, well, I'll say one of the callers before, he noticed that it's actually really pronounced on the phone.
	And it's true.
	Now when I'm talking on the telephone, it is stronger.
	What are you talking about?
	It's one of the most endearing things.
	What's that?
	I don't understand what you're talking about.
	See, and that's the other thing.
	That's the reason why I love your shows because you're fucking funny.
	But anyways, and I'm obviously not the only one thinking about this because sometimes when you say the word process, you say it the American way, you know, process.
	And then last night when you're doing the green screen, you said process.
	And the reason I bring this up is sometimes I catch you and you like change it mid-O.
	You go kind of process process.
	Maybe I'm boring most of the colors to death, but this is the stuff that fascinates me.
	Did you, because every other aspect of your accent is spot on Canadian.
	That's probably because when you moved there, you were like seven or whatever when you left England.
	Yep, five.
	And I think you said you did that so they don't beat the shit out of you.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Sorry.
	Yeah, yeah, I was five.
	I try to, I just, I say about, I think I say about in an American way, but I say us and process, centrifugal, aluminium, Chesterfield, serviette, pasta.
	My sons, my kids always make fun of me for saying pasta wrong, but I don't know.
	I don't find it that interesting.
	Next caller, thanks for calling.
	Yeah, I've lived in different countries.
	I say us instead of us.
	The only time I try to do Americanisms is to keep the ball rolling so people don't get hung up on it.
	And they go, they don't listen to what I'm saying because I said us or buried.
	I try to say buried.
	It was buried alive.
	Even though Canadian is closer to the English language, it's pasta.
	It's A's.
	It's NASA.
	It's A's.
	It's buried.
	It's a U. How do you say this word?
	Experiment.
	That's how I say it too.
	You know some people out there say experiment?
	That's stupid.
	They do.
	That sounds like experimental.
	It sounds like a breath mint.
	Yeah, I know.
	And I was double-teamed.
	Two people were like, dude, you're saying it wrong.
	Wait, someone fucked you up the ass and stuffed their dick in your mouth because you pronounced a word?
	Yeah, and it was so boring that we started speaking about the word experiment.
	I was like, this has been a fun experiment.
	They're like, hold on a second.
	And while they were still in me, they corrected me.
	Hey, J dinosaurs, somebody says.
	505.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	How you doing?
	Good.
	How are you?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Good, thanks.
	Hey, this call is for Ryan, not Gavin.
	Ryan, I sent you an email the other day, and Gavin probably filtered it out because it was about dinosaurs.
	Dinos?
	Gotcha.
	He probably automatically deletes all those.
	But I want you to check out Young Earth Creation.
	So basically, it's dinosaurs are real.
	But the timeline's all messed up.
	Remember, dinosaur is...
	Yeah.
	No, I've been looking.
	Yeah, the daddy.
	The timeline's all.
	Honestly, we've been getting a huge dump of all dinosaur stuff.
	I think everybody's had enough of hearing about this.
	It's all YouTube, too.
	It's never books.
	It's always YouTube.
	Yeah.
	No, there's some literature and stuff, but like, you know, have you been reading a lot of the literature, right?
	I've never been a much more literature guy.
	I've been talking about with a YouTube video about how a dog turned into a whale.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Anyways, okay.
	That's not where I got it from, though.
	I didn't get it from the YouTube video.
	That was just the example, the illustration that he managed to dig up while I was discussing this phenomenon.
	Fair?
	Well, it's one thing to consider, though.
	It's like, I guess just consider how much weight you place into something based on its production value.
	Like, if there's a really super impressive, well-done dog-to-whale video.
	I got the dog-to-whale video from a museum in Scotland.
	And yeah, the production was pretty good.
	He got it from a museum in Scotland and stuff like that.
	But hey, I appreciate you bringing that up, and I'll check it out.
	But yeah, everybody's sick of the dinosaurs.
	I am too.
	Like, I actually don't want to get to the...
	You're already over it.
	That's how lazy you are.
	That was my whole point, is that you were just like, I'm going to look at some videos.
	They don't exist.
	And then four days later, you're like, I'm done with that.
	Meanwhile, paleontologists spend 40 years trying to get just an edge on the subject.
	I'm not saying I'm done with it, but the initial burst of like, wow, that's I wonder.
	It's just an I wonder.
	I got a lot of shit, by the way, in the mail for throwing that miraculous Mary thing, which I believe you called a magic Mary.
	Yeah, your Christianity as well as mine, we could use some work.
	Where people are taking it really seriously.
	Like, if you're going to send me a present, look at the present that guy sent me.
	Yeah, that's fancy from...
	So it should be gold.
	Okay, but it's not about vanity.
	If you send me a stupid little trinket, it's just dumb.
	You got that from a vending machine?
	Well, it's not the thing.
	It's the thought.
	Yeah, whatever.
	I got my own thoughts.
	I have a very high bar for presents.
	Look at these.
	These are $322 shoes.
	If you're going to give me a Virgin Mary, it has to be gold.
	That sounds like a rapper would say, not a Christian, perhaps.
	Sorry.
	I'm at a certain level.
	I'm the gold tier.
	Yeah, look.
	This is the quality of my presents.
	There's something about a humble trinket, though, that's kind of cool.
	No, there's not.
	I don't want a plastic fucking pope.
	What if it's made from metal from Jerusalem?
	Sure, that's cool.
	I have one of those.
	You know what?
	I have a little pot that was made in Jerusalem that I got when I was in Israel.
	Some billionaire gave it to me, and it's like the same thing that Jesus poured water from.
	It's a duplicate, obviously.
	But that's cool.
	I don't need trinkets.
	I don't care how precious they are.
	I love Israel.
	I'm not a Catholic, so I wear it.
	I'm not a heat fan.
	So go there when it's freezing cold.
	Chilly.
	But it's cool.
	Lucas.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Thanks for calling.
	I appreciate it.
	Glad you could take my call.
	I'm going to talk about South Africa.
	Okay.
	South Africa.
	Did I say Africa?
	South Africa.
	So basically, you're always, every other day, you're ranting about South Africa, about how, you know, shoot the boar, kill the boar, and how they're like skinning white people alive in front of their children and all that shit.
	But I just kept thinking, man, you know, you see all this anti-white shit on the media, on TV, how everything's white people's fault.
	You know, whitey's the worst, whitey's the devil.
	And we're shrinking in population size, just like in South Africa, we're becoming more and more of a minority.
	Do you think that's a possibility that that is going to happen here in America eventually?
	Finally, an intelligent call.
	I never thought about this.
	Like, everyone talks about how white people are scared of white genocide and they're scared of becoming a minority.
	And when they first started saying this, the first time I heard about it was from them.
	And I thought, no, I'm not concerned about that.
	I am kind of concerned about black, white, and Hispanic all being 33% because blacks will vote for the black guy, Hispanics will vote for the Hispanic guy, whites will vote for the white guy, and we'll become three separate countries in a way.
	So that was a concern.
	But I have to admit, since then, and I'm going back now not very far, like in the past six months, I've been looking at South Africa and the similarities between immediately post-apartheid South Africa and where they are today.
	And I see us drifting in the same direction.
	There is unbridled animosity towards whites in this country.
	And it comes from whites, too.
	Like we just had, what's his name, John Brennan, saying every day he's more and more ashamed of being white.
	We had Bill Burr do a Patrice O'Neill documentary where he cut out Anthony Cumey, Patrice's best friend, because Bill Burr's black wife said Anthony's racist.
	There's all this deep-seated resentment.
	We have Jamal Brown, whatever his name is, the representative for Westchester County where my house is, saying that standardized testing is racist.
	You know what you need to get a high school, to get a, sorry, a secondary, what do you call it when you get a high school diploma and you're not in high school, like an adult education?
	GED.
	You know what you need to get a GED in South Africa now?
	A pulse?
	Zero.
	A zero is a pass.
	Okay, well, it doesn't exist anymore.
	So, yeah, I am concerned about that.
	I'm getting more and more concerned.
	It's a new feeling.
	I'm totally foreign to it, but I feel like minorities, whatever, I think black Americans want revenge.
	Yeah.
	And we saw this with Indians.
	Like, remember that girl, Lexi Page?
	Lexi Page.
	So she was removed from her family.
	She's like 1.8% Native American.
	And they have a Native American reunification program where you're returning Indians back to their families.
	They found a family that's like 1% more Indian than hers.
	So they took her from this fucking white family.
	I can't look at her.
	I'll start crying.
	And they brought her to a family that's 1% more Indian under the auspices of reuniting Indians.
	It's obviously a hole in the plot.
	It doesn't make any sense.
	But the tribe in that area was contacted by their lawyer.
	And they said, we need you to speak out.
	And they said, no.
	And I could tell when this tribe said no, they knew it was unjust, but they were like, you try it.
	You separated our families.
	Now we're separating yours, motherfucker.
	And it was just Lexi Page, the story of Lexi Page and the lack of Indians speaking out about it.
	It's just no other word for it but revenge.
	And we're seeing what happens with these fat chicks and everyone else.
	We're living under the revenge of the hurt right now.
	So I don't think we're far away from revenge of everyone else.
	And I think we should take heed and look at South Africa because I think a lot of people seem to hate white people in this country.
	And they're not satisfied with some apologies.
	I think a lot of them want blood.
	Thanks for calling.
	Yeah, that black mother who killed her.
	And there's no media attention to it either.
	So it could happen and nobody would care.
	And that's the way it was in South Africa.
	When these farm murders started, they were ignored by the press.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	We should do a whole South Africa special.
	Because you sound paranoid and racist.
	And it's considered crazy to say that we could ever have what South Africa has.
	Why not?
	Doesn't sound crazy to anybody that matters.
	How no?
	How no?
	What about that guy, Willem, from South Africa?
	South Africa.
	Willem forgot his name.
	People don't get the boars.
	They're super square.
	Like, Willem has probably never kissed a girl.
	He likes the girl he's working with now, but she is...
	I don't know why my accent sucks.
	But they're not ready.
	They're not ready for making kisses.
	What was the thing from that South African show that they kept saying, like, how dare you or something?
	But it was like...
	Remember, it was like that fishing show from South Africa.
	That's kind of the problem with me talking to these people is they're so Christian.
	And I'll be talking to them.
	I'll be like, a lot of these fuckers, and I'll go, please do not use that word when you're talking to me.
	What gives them the right?
	What gives you the rat?
	Yeah.
	Oh, that below deck.
	Yeah.
	They say right as rat.
	What gives you the rat?
	Okay, let's take some more calls.
	We're running out of time here.
	I thought this was going to be a one-hour show.
	Josh.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	Hey, I think you should rethink New Hampshire.
	It's nothing like Vermont.
	It's like Vermont's New Hampshire's gay brother.
	Okay.
	People in Vermont seem to be real dicks.
	Yeah, there's a sugar tax.
	I went to a wedding there like two years ago.
	It was worse.
	Would you ever think about getting your kids into wrestling?
	Maybe.
	I mean, my eldest boy's baseball or nothing.
	And my youngest doesn't.
	I'm going to start him on baseball this season.
	But I take him to boxing.
	He's good at it, but he doesn't have any passion for it.
	If they had any passion for any kind of combat sports, I would pursue it, but I don't think it's up their alley.
	Well, thanks for everything.
	Their car show is awesome.
	Thanks, buddy.
	Thanks for calling.
	This is from Witt and Andy.
	They're Catholics.
	And they have a little Catholic zine that you can throw.
	How to be a Man, a Religious Riot, a Bonfire of the Vanities.
	Wow, this is a quality zine.
	Zines are fucking cool.
	Hollowed wants to make a zine also.
	Do's and don'ts.
	Would you write for a...
	Sure, I'd write for a zine.
	I talked to Milo about doing a zine and putting out a cassette.
	That'd be huge.
	And then we kind of just forgot about it.
	No, you got to do it.
	That's good.
	Physical content from censored.tv, that's going to be...
	That's big.
	That's cool.
	This is a quality zine.
	Usually zines don't get the concept of zines, and the layout sucks.
	This is exactly what a zine should look like.
	It looks really fun.
	Looks really great.
	They have a podcast.
	It's called Gold Pilled.
	They're very Christian.
	You know, they're Catholic.
	Remember that?
	Oh, these guys just sent us that sign.
	Yeah.
	We believe in God the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate.
	And believe me, I know what it's like to suffer under Pontius Pilate.
	Believe me.
	You can't sneeze.
	Can't do nothing.
	Nobody knows rib pain like me.
	Believe me.
	Maybe one guy.
	Only guy whose ribs hurt more than mine is the king of the Jews, Jesus H-Crest.
	Lord of all lords, Alpha Man.
	God loved him so much.
	Why didn't he give him a middle name?
	H. What does H stand for?
	Is that like a Sebastian Manascalco bit?
	If we loved him so much, why not give him a middle name?
	They don't have him on that app.
	Like, are you kidding?
	Come on.
	I think what the app does is it just goes, most popular people in America.
	How is Bill Byrne not Sebastian Manascalco?
	I mean, he's up there.
	No, no, no, dude.
	If you look up, like, the most watched views videos on YouTube, it's Justin Bieber and some K-pop band.
	So when you look up most popular, it doesn't give you most impressionable.
	It's like TikTokers and dickheads.
	It's not going to be Jake Taffer.
	John Taffer.
	Shut it down.
	Shut it down.
	Ryan Budweiser.
	This is 301 is your number.
	If you don't answer, I'm going to say the whole diagnosis.
	Hello?
	Just kidding.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Yes, hello?
	Hello, my baby.
	Hello.
	You're the last caller.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Are you there?
	Hello?
	I just want an Indian Joker face.
	That's all I want.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	That's a great way to end the show.
	Thanks for calling.
	Ryan, cue the music.
	Okay.
	It's been a while.
	It's been a while.
	You're injured.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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