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Feb. 25, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:27:51

S03E78 - PROUD BOYS RESPOND

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	That's what Calvino Live from New York, it's Get Off by One with Gavin McGuinness.
	I like to sing James Taylor's songs, a song by Cal King I like to sing John Muffy songs I'll sing anything Why not sing a total bump Just one thing second has
	to get that old really thick Glasgow accent story time that he used to do and animate it and then have subtitles so people can see his genius I mean they did that to Lenny Bruce with Thank You Mask Man and it's one of the greatest things I've ever seen because Lenny Bruce was such a mumbler and he'd go off and you'd only catch maybe 80% of what he was saying.
	You'd miss 20% would go off to Mumbletown.
	But in this cartoon, it's all there.
	So all his little mumbles are there.
	Anyway, the point of this story is that he gets in shit for not sticking around and saying, thank you, Masked Man, and staying for thank yous.
	Here, go back a bit.
	It's so fucking good.
	They captured his sense of humor, too, in the animation.
	Did you see that?
	That guy believable.
	Again, I bought a present for him, made a whole party.
	He don't wait.
	I'll keep the money, but it's a sucker.
	It's a masked man.
	It's a beautiful person.
	Mario!
	Wait a minute.
	We have more presents.
	More presents?
	This guy is selfless.
	Did you give him any money?
	Not a nickel.
	How many times did you take the garbage out already first?
	Cleaned up the yard.
	You don't want nothing.
	This is a beautiful person.
	There hasn't been one god like that.
	Every god always stuck around for a while I did for you.
	Or his friends tell you what we're just.
	Wait a minute, master, we got a present for you, masked man.
	Did you give him any money?
	I didn't give him a nickel.
	You either?
	But that schmuck can't get a quote, I'm telling you.
	He don't take nothing.
	He don't even take thank you.
	They all take.
	He don't take, I'm telling you.
	Masked man!
	Masked man!
	Wait a minute!
	You just told me, Jim!
	Wait a minute!
	Masked man!
	Wait a minute, you asshole!
	Wait a minute!
	I'm not sure shit now.
	This is the first time I made a present from he ran off.
	I don't mind for me that my mom, she made coffee and cake and everything.
	Bastard, is he kidding?
	Was he too good for everybody?
	He's 25.
	Don't look at him.
	Got fink.
	Bastard, I hate it.
	He saw the young lady came out.
	Arthritis, yeah.
	Send the coffee, coffee fear.
	I'm gonna get him on.
	See, like, if you saw that on stage in 1950, you wouldn't get that the other guy was talking about the mom with the coffee.
	Anyway, scroll ahead on that, because it gets...
	So the Lone Ranger shows up and explains why he can't do it.
	Because he'd get addicted to it, and it would become his whole life.
	Hold a gun, Ma.
	Masmira, what's your story, buddy?
	You know Mr. P. Lenny Bruce.
	So you'd see that on stage, and you'd hear a different, you'd hear this southern kid.
	That's the thing no one gets about Lenny Bruce.
	Wait, I think I have his book here, don't I?
	Lenny.
	Lenny.
	Lenny.
	Lenny.
	There it is.
	That's what the book of today is.
	Lenny Bruce.
	This is a fucking huge book.
	500 and 600 pages.
	500 and 600 pages.
	But you just rip through this.
	It's so exciting.
	His life was so crazy over the top.
	I mean, this wasn't like a Picasso where he hit it big and then he vanished.
	I mean, sorry, he vanished and then he hit it big after.
	This guy was there for his fame.
	He married some hot, strippery chick named Honey.
	And then he OD'd.
	He just couldn't take the pressure.
	The state murdered Lenny Bruce.
	He was the first guy to be raunchy on stage.
	I mean, the reason that I'm saying fuck every day, he paved the way for all that.
	And they used to say, you're sick.
	And he would say, no, society's sick.
	I'm the doctor.
	And eventually the state just hassling him and coming down on him, fucking with him and torturing him and his family.
	I mean, my family's under siege too from the state and throwing my friends in prison.
	He just broke one day.
	That's something that a lot of people on the right don't talk about when they get deplatformed.
	They go through some pretty rough times.
	I'm a drunk, so I can handle it.
	But I know a lot of people that have been close to suicidal from just being constantly persecuted.
	And marriages, I mean, proud boys are like cops.
	It's hard to think of a marriage that's lasted through this because of the fucking narrative.
	Actually, go to my parlor.
	I saw some crazy Reddit where someone had said, my boyfriend's a proud boy.
	No, my husband is a proud boy.
	And I don't know how to reconcile this.
	You know, we're in our 30s and he's a member of a hate group.
	And he says it's not a hate group.
	He's in denial.
	Yeah, click on that.
	And I'm reading the comments and 100% of them are, he's a fascist.
	His people were in the capital wearing Camp Auschwitz shirts and waving Confederate flags.
	One of the links, one of the comments there says, I have seen footage of them chasing down an old Jewish couple who were minding their own business and just beating them to the ground.
	And all this Jewish couple were trying to do was get away.
	Where was your husband on January 6th?
	Don't let him gaslight you.
	Hitler loved his dogs.
	Very intellectual arguments going on here.
	Yeah, chasing down Jews on the street.
	The club was formed in New York City.
	Do you know how tired you'd be if you chased down old Jewish couples?
	You'd have the images of a monster.
	You'd look like Hussein.
	Your fists would just be like, your hands would look like mittens.
	Your fingers will have sealed shut.
	You just have paws after a while.
	Chasing down Jews?
	The fuck are you talking about?
	And there's no fair balance here.
	This is all dump them, dump him, get rid of him, which of course means deny his children a father.
	It's amazing how many people want, how many lefties want you to divorce your Trump husband and punish, that punishes the children.
	What would they find?
	How bad is online trolling?
	People who participate in the capital rights were described by their families as loving family men and great fathers.
	Yeah, because they are.
	Just like you describe your husband.
	What happens if he gets involved in something similar?
	How much of his online persona, and let's be honest, that's who he is in his core.
	Wow, this person's an expert on this guy.
	So they've also taken the leap that he's this Nazi online.
	He might share a stupid meme.
	It's all fun and games until the feds freeze your assets.
	Like, don't these people sound like they're in the Soviet Union?
	Not are you innocent or guilty, but the feds are going to freeze your assets.
	So dump him.
	Antifa is not a formal organization with a membership structure.
	It just means anti-fascist.
	Antifa isn't a group.
	You can't join Antifa.
	It just means anti-fascist.
	You literally cannot argue the same with Antifa.
	It's not a formal group.
	Again and again and again.
	Oh, look, the way it could argue the same about Antifa.
	Kenna is very liberal in Pandering Country.
	They put them on the list because of receiv from people on Twitter, not because they're an actual terrorist.
	Oh, my God.
	I upvoted it, so I got it to negative 71.
	I did my part.
	You know, I noticed that on UB Mom, too.
	You don't say.
	UB Mom is like a mom chat room.
	And whenever anyone says my husband voted for Trump, it's like, leave him.
	Divorce him.
	Okay, but not only will my kids not have a father, but now I got to deal with alimony payments and child support.
	And if he goes broke, then I can't get the child support.
	Like, divorce is a big fucking deal.
	And being a single mom sucks.
	I know single moms.
	They're struggling.
	A friend of mine just got fired.
	She's a single mom.
	And I go, well, what about the alimony, the child support?
	She goes, he's broke too.
	He got fired from his job.
	And these guys who get divorced, and you're an idiot if you get divorced, by the way, they talk about how broke they are all the time.
	Yeah, you have two families.
	They get remarried and have kids.
	So now your life is doubled as far as responsibilities go.
	But it's just amazing how quick they are.
	I think they're just malicious.
	And they want her to suffer.
	They want more suffering all around because they're suffering.
	Like Amy Siskind, who I talk about every episode.
	She has a miserable, shitty life, and she wants to punish others.
	Or Chelsea Handler.
	Remember a long time ago she had a show on Netflix and it has her with like some butler holding up ramen noodles and she's eating Thai and she goes, hi, I'm not married.
	I'm single.
	Which means if I want to have Thai food, I have Thai food.
	I don't have to ask my husband because he doesn't exist.
	Honey, I'm married.
	I got three kids.
	You know what I say when my wife says, I'd like to have Thai food tonight?
	I go like this.
	This is a man, modern man, hearing his wife wants to order Thai food.
	Okay.
	Pretty horrible, huh?
	You silly cow.
	My friend Robbie emailed me.
	He goes, you know, I never had kids, but I'm realizing that's the bravest thing you could possibly do is start a family, create a bunch of kids, and say, come on, let's go into this adventure.
	I got your back.
	I'll have you covered.
	You'll be safe with me.
	I'll make sure that you have health care.
	I'll make sure you get an education.
	I'll make sure you're fed.
	You're clothed.
	You're safe.
	Let's do this.
	Let's go on this adventure.
	Boom, boom, boom.
	Boom, boom.
	Because I'm saying ideally five.
	I gave you all life, but I'm not just giving you life and then saying, fuck off.
	I'm giving you life and saying, come on, troops, let's rock.
	That's brave.
	So, Gavin, you have three kids.
	Are you saying someone with six kids is twice as brave as you?
	Yes, that is precisely what I'm saying.
	And those who don't have kids, they pretend that they're happier, like Chelsea Handler and fucking Sarah Silverman.
	But you can smell it on them, especially when they get into their 40s and 50s.
	You can smell the regret.
	And it's a huge.
	So, once again, we're out of printering because we're not organized.
	We're stupid.
	Stupido?
	By the way, have you ever seen Rich Voss's Lenny Bruce?
	No?
	Not great.
	Always in the saddle, if you know what I mean.
	She always had to be on top.
	Like that was some kind of horse or something.
	You know, that's right.
	Women like to be on top.
	That's Lenny Bruce.
	What about you?
	No, it isn't.
	You like the top?
	Or are you more into that traditional garden variety set?
	I don't think you.
	How many times a day?
	Three, seven.
	I don't remember Lenny Bruce doing sex jokes like that.
	I don't remember him sounding that way.
	Of all the people to get to do an imitation, you get a guy who has beaver teeth and a lisp.
	The D, two, three.
	I'm engaged.
	I'm not married.
	You're engaged, so it's got to be more like seven or eight.
	You know what I'm talking about.
	Was that really his thing?
	Why didn't you try to ask?
	I thought I'd seen every Lenny Bruce thing.
	I don't remember him singling people out and asking them about their sex lives.
	Lenny Bruce crowd work.
	Maybe I'm wrong.
	But he didn't sound like that for sure.
	Yeah, get anyone else.
	You can have Rich Voss on that show.
	Rich Voss deserves an appearance.
	The guy's been busting his ass in stand-up comedy since 1982.
	So by all means, put him in a show.
	That guy has not got the credit where credit is due.
	He has not achieved the success he should have achieved.
	He deserves a break.
	But not doing a Lenny Bruce imitation.
	Okay, listen to Lenny Bruce.
	This was Rich Voss.
	You know, it's all tricks and devices that are used.
	That's where entertainment is devised, you know, trick theories.
	But that's an interesting theory, too.
	Then by that, I'm saying that the biggest comedians are liars, you know.
	Well, that's not so.
	I got an example here.
	These are papers.
	That's what today here.
	This is June the 19th.
	This is 1957.
	But I really love them, and I worshipped them because they show how newspapers, you know, use sensationalism, you know, which is a lie and an entertainment medium, to swing and prove a point.
	This is concerning the Melchior robbery.
	Now, these are actually legit newspapers.
	This was the morning in this role, LA, Los Angeles.
	Four gunmen barned and robbed Melchior of $100,000.
	Now, later on that day, in the examiner, Lawrence Melchior, $125,000 holdup.
	Ready?
	This one on the same day.
	The citizen news, Melchior robbers get $139,771.
	Three gummen robbed been born Melkier of $250,000.
	Holy shit.
	Nice.
	You can read it.
	Nothing's changed.
	Is this a joke or is that real?
	That's real.
	Wow.
	That's crazy.
	Lugenpress, been going on for a long time.
	And then Ezra Levant, Lugenpress means lying press.
	And Ezra Levant was using that term a lot.
	And they go, oh, a Nazi term.
	Well, yeah, it's German, so Nazis use it.
	But Lugenpress was around way before the Nazis and has been around way after.
	Fake news.
	You could say fake news is a Nazi term because I'm sure American Nazis say it.
	But can we go back to the cartoon?
	Because the masked man's a fag.
	Oh, really?
	Love a thank you from nobody?
	Not explain if you get your goddamn hands off me, you barbarians.
	The reason they never wait for thank you, see, uh...
	Suppose he wants to wait for thank you.
	Thank you, Madman.
	What's that?
	Thank you, Mad Min.
	Thank you, masked man.
	Look at his boots.
	Damn it, I like that.
	God damn it, I'd like that.
	Let's say it once again, son.
	Thank you, Mad Min.
	Thank you, Masked Man.
	Isn't that sweet?
	Get the masked man.
	We're in trouble.
	A little busy now.
	I'm getting a few thank yous.
	Masked men, help, help.
	We're being robbed.
	Get the mask man.
	Don't break my balls now.
	I helped you people a lot.
	I'm entitled.
	It'll take one week off to get some thank yous.
	You're not going to get nothing if you keep it up.
	All right, let's have it again.
	Thank you, Maskman.
	I'm going to get a book.
	That's all.
	Screw these people.
	I'll get a thank you, Masked Man book.
	I'll put it in the book.
	This is on stage in 1957, and he's just talking.
	Like, you better not be drunk for a Lenny Bruce show.
	You got to sort of be in the front row after a meal and a coffee and be like, not hungover.
	Eight hours of sleep the night before.
	Okay, I'm ready.
	I'm going to listen to all the little characters he's doing because I don't have a cartoon to guide me.
	This is what Billy Connolly needs.
	Kara Connolly, 45-year-old, first child, no, second child of Billy Conley.
	If you're out there, can you we please facilitate this?
	You know the Billy Connolly sketch about going camping?
	How him and his friends would just have winkle pickers, those pointy boots for getting cockroaches in the corner?
	And they would go camping with nothing but a bottle of wine, and they would just sleep face down in a farmer's field.
	And he talks about all the other camperers, camperers, who would go, we love to go wandering.
	And they'd have little backpacks on and little woolly hats.
	You won't be able to understand that if you find it.
	Billy Connolly camping sketch.
	But if there was a cartoon and there were subtitles, people would go, holy shit, this guy's a genius.
	Or, of course, the Jobby Week, where Joby.
	Jobby means shit in Scotland.
	And his theory for this guy they found that had the shit beat on him.
	He looked like someone had sat on him for a fortnight with a hammer and just bashed him.
	But his theory is That he got sucked out of the airplane toilet and went flying through the air and landed on the ground.
	I'd love to see that animated.
	But go back to the cartoon.
	What does this do with me?
	Where did they come from?
	All of a sudden, there's people from the Bible here.
	In the Thank You Maskman.
	When you see men like yourself, you thrived upon the continuance of segregation, violence, and disease.
	Now the Messiah has returned all his pure, you're in the shithouse.
	Well, then I'll make trouble.
	Because I'm geared for it.
	And I must have a thank-you masked man.
	That's why I always ride off and never wait for thank you.
	Then you sure can talk to shit, buddy.
	Yes, you think it hurts me.
	Don't hear me talking about thank you, man.
	Billy, you can be your free boat long island.
	Look, I work for the city.
	You know what I mean, buddy?
	I got a chance.
	That's been Larry Burns.
	Oh, okay.
	Now, look, I'm here to see you accept a present.
	Just one present.
	Do it for the kids who get the hell out of here.
	What do you say?
	All right, for the children, I'll do it.
	Give me.
	No ashtrays.
	Anything I want?
	I think you should take a buddy whipper doll and him things up on the top shelf.
	I tell you what.
	Anything?
	Give me that Indian over there.
	Who's that?
	Tanto?
	Yes, Tanta.
	I want Tanta the Indian.
	You hear me talking, but you can't have Tanto.
	Bullshit, you made the deal.
	That's what I want.
	I want Tantra the Indian.
	You're going to get you, Tanta, buddy.
	Your name ain't Tanta's Tanto.
	What did you want Tanto for?
	The performing unnatural act.
	The what?
	The performing unnatural act.
	Oh, the masked man's fair.
	Holy shit.
	The utter, stultifying quality of it all.
	That's why I'm a comedy snob.
	Because when I was a little kid, I was into Bill Hicks and Lenny Bruce.
	I mean, the top, tippity top.
	So when I see, like, these female comedians get up there and they're there because they're chicks, you're just like, I don't care that you're a woman, obviously.
	Lots of, there's lots of great female stand-ups.
	Okay, none are coming to mind right now.
	Nikki Glazer.
	Early Amy Schumer.
	Her.
	Paula Poundstone.
	Maria Bamford.
	Yeah, no.
	And then Louis C.K. comes along.
	I would say Louis C.K. is in the same league as Lenny Bruce.
	Because it's just worse.
	He's got that John Belushi thing where he could just read you the phone book and you'd laugh your head off with his eyebrows and his...
	I think Jim Brewer's up there, too.
	Yeah.
	Because he's one of those guys where you listen to him.
	When he starts talking, you're like, I want to hear the end of this thing.
	Yeah, he's a great storyteller.
	But he doesn't have the magic fairy dust.
	I think you could watch him on mute and laugh.
	No.
	Wrong.
	The fairy dust is so fucking rare.
	It's almost like one person a generation.
	Jim Belushi, Louis C.K. John Mulaney is a very good comedian, as in funny.
	But he's just really hard.
	He's a really hard worker who's mastered it, but he's not magical.
	Like there's Jimi Hendrix, and then there's someone who's just practiced eight hours a day.
	Like Tom Morello.
	I don't know why I hate Tom Morello, but I do.
	I know why I hate Tom Morello, because he was raised by white people, and all he does is bitch about how racist the world is.
	He's another fucking Collie Kaepernick.
	Him and his little wee, wee, wee pedal.
	I don't know.
	Okay, let's get to important news and stop fucking around, whining about comedians.
	Someone shot Lady Gaga's dog walker and stole her two dogs.
	She has a $500,000 reward.
	If you're interested, you probably should be in the LA area.
	I don't think they're going to be up in New York.
	But the first question that popped into my head when I read this was, why?
	Am I dumb?
	Are those dogs worth like millions?
	Her French bulldogs, Koji and Gustav.
	I mean, you're risking life in prison when you shoot a guy in the chest.
	So I assume you're going to risk that for something very, very valuable.
	How much is a dog?
	A couple thousand?
	Yeah, like the greatest French poodle on earth.
	How much is that worth?
	Hey, computer, what is the most expensive dog breed?
	According to online pet marketplace Saizu, the most expensive dog breed is the French bulldog at an average price of $3,162.
	I got that on me.
	You stole my joke.
	But you actually do have it on you, so that's not a joke.
	$3,000?
	You killed...
	I think the guy's going to live, but you did attempted murder for $6,000?
	Are you a TARDID?
	Is this maybe some Russian kingpin?
	Who wanted to send a message?
	Who, no, just wanted Lady Gaga's French bulldogs.
	Oh.
	Because you can't, if you steal the Mona Lisa, you can't sell it.
	But I could see if you're some Russian oligarch, you know, Coke fentanyl dealer, you want it in your living room.
	And then people are like, that looks just like the Mona Lisa.
	And you just go.
	You just want those dogs to feed it to your tiger.
	God, I heard the coolest story at the bar last night.
	I'm reminded of why back in Vice days, I would go out till four in the morning every night because that was my job.
	It still is, in a sense, to accrue stories.
	So this guy, his brother, is drunk driving, but it's not that bad.
	And it should get thrown away.
	But he was dating a local cop's daughter at the time.
	So they hated him.
	So, what they did was just to fuck with him, they kept not showing up and delaying the trial.
	And he knew he was going to get off with probation or something.
	He was like barely over the limit.
	And they did it like 15 times.
	And so he snaps at the 15th time.
	He goes, This is fucking bullshit, Your Honor.
	These assholes.
	And she goes, Order in the court.
	Come back to court.
	And he goes, You can smash your gavel all you want.
	I'm not coming back here again.
	This is a complete clown show.
	These assholes are not showing up on purpose because I'm fucking my, bang, bang.
	So he gets thrown in Rikers.
	And basically, the lawyer discovers that all he has to do is make a formal apology to the judge.
	And he'll be out and we'll just drop the whole thing.
	And he goes, fuck you.
	I'm not apologizing.
	I like it here.
	I'm catching up on some reading.
	People here are pretty cool.
	I play cards with this guy who's a mass murderer, the biggest Coke dealer in all of New York City.
	I'm having fun in here.
	He's the head of the Latin Kings or something.
	No, it was bigger than the Latin Kings, like scarier.
	Latin Kings, I hope that none of them kill me, but they're not really known as a violent gang.
	They're a Coke dealing gang.
	Oh, speaking of gangs, we're going to have Enrique Tario of the Proud Boys come on the show today to discuss his side of events.
	And we'll see if January 6th was a good idea, if he's presently an informant with the feds.
	We'll get it all here on Get Off My Lawn.
	Anyway, so he's in Rikers, and he's playing cards with some guy.
	And he goes, yeah, I'm wanted for murder, blah, blah, blah.
	I was at this building.
	And he goes, I'm a contractor.
	I worked on that building.
	And he goes, yeah, well, I was in the lobby and they say I shot him as he ran around by the elevators.
	And he goes, no, I was there when they built those elevators.
	Elevators have a cement casing that goes around them.
	If he went around the side, there's no way a bullet could have gone through.
	Get me the blueprints.
	I'll show you.
	So he gets the blueprints and he's looking at them and he goes, yeah, see, you were standing here.
	This is here.
	This entire chasm has got like four feet of cement.
	All buildings do.
	So if someone goes near an elevator, they're safe.
	You couldn't possibly have shot them.
	So he got the guy off.
	Wow.
	And so the guy goes, you have, I'm a genie.
	You have three wishes.
	He goes, you can call on me three times.
	Wow.
	He's like, cool.
	That's fucking too much cool power for one man.
	Well, it's kind of weird.
	It's like when my parents ask me what I want for my birthday, I'm like, a helicopter or nothing.
	Like, I don't need anything that's not insane.
	Yeah.
	You know, like, if you said, I can give you three wishes from a gang, I'd be like, when I think of all the journalists I'd like to get kneecapped, I'd need about 50 favors or nothing.
	Like, I don't want to fuck up one or two journalists.
	I want to fuck up all 50 at the exact same time.
	Right.
	And then they're all sitting there in the hospital going, what do we all have in common?
	Oh, yeah.
	We fucked with Gavin McInnes and Proud Boys once.
	We got Tanya Hardinged.
	Yeah.
	I will get them, though.
	And it may take till I'm in an old folks' home, but my plan is I'll go up to them and be like, are you Mark Norris from blah, blah, blah?
	Yes.
	Hey, I think I remember you.
	And they go, yeah, it's me.
	And then just a huge super gulp of diarrhea.
	That's awesome.
	Yeah, I filled it to the brim.
	I think it's easy to come across diarrhea when you're in your 70s.
	And I'll just like, whoomph, get him on his launcher, splash his wife a little bit.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	It'll happen.
	But anyway, yeah, three wishes, man.
	Like, I can't think of something I'd want from a gang leader.
	Maybe like a ruby.
	Like, give me like a ruby from a heist.
	I want one gem.
	Yeah.
	One gorgeous opal.
	You're such a useless homosexual.
	I just figured gems are like what thieves get.
	Yeah, in children's books, which is all you read.
	Oh, actually, I'd want some sort of, I know what I would do.
	I would get preferential treatment for Max and John.
	Although Max is doing very well.
	He's in some sort of like VIP thing where he gets to cook.
	John's not doing well.
	Governor is a much better prison to be in than Bear Hill.
	And you don't know this until you've been there.
	Anywho, so he goes, okay, thanks for that.
	And he keeps his business card.
	And then he owns a bar in Manhattan.
	And this is where I heard the story.
	And these Jamaican gangs start coming in and saying, we're going to make sure you have protection.
	And if it's going to cost this much.
	And he's like, I don't need protection.
	What the fuck?
	My whole family are cops.
	I'm fine.
	They go, no, you need it.
	There might be a fire here or there might even be dynamite.
	Someone might throw a stick of dynamite into your bar in three days at 8 p.m. if you don't start paying us.
	He's like, what the fuck?
	What is this?
	The 1800s?
	Fucking Gangs of New York shit?
	So he calls his brother, who was telling me the story last night.
	And his brother goes, what are you talking about?
	Are you insane?
	No.
	Don't call in a favor.
	God damn it.
	Are you nuts?
	You think that shit is free?
	And he goes, well, kind of.
	I got him out of jail.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	Don't do business with criminals, moron.
	So the next day, or maybe a week later, sorry, the brother gets a call.
	He's like, what is it?
	You didn't take, you didn't call in that favor, did you?
	And he's like, yeah.
	And he goes, I also stayed there.
	He goes, wait, you stayed there?
	Yeah, I wanted to see what he does.
	But you need an alibi.
	Like, you should have been at home with your kids recording a Skype call or something.
	And he goes, I couldn't resist.
	I had to see.
	And then the brother is like, Jesus.
	Okay, what happened?
	So the Jamaicans come in, and then this drug lord, mass murderer, Kingpin, comes in, all armed with AKs, major weaponry.
	And they come up to the Jamaican guy and they go, this isn't going to happen.
	Do you know who I am?
	And the Jamaican guy's like, yeah, I know who you are.
	And he goes, well, this is my problem now, not yours.
	So you're never going to come in here again.
	And he goes, no, that's not how it's going to go, man.
	Waguan, don't vex me with all manner of thing.
	We've been coming here for weeks and weeks, you know.
	And we're going to continue, Hispanic man.
	Hear me now.
	And he goes, no, that's not the way it's going to be.
	He takes a grenade, pulls the pin, drops the pin on the floor, puts it in the Jamaican's hand, wraps the Jamaican's hands around the grenade, and says, That's how it's gonna be, and walks out.
	How fucking badass is that?
	So the Jamaican guy's like, find a pin, get the pin, you know.
	But he's holding the grenade.
	He's holding it so that it won't explode until it's a bad thing.
	It won't explode.
	I mean, he could go, he could take a taxi to, you know, lower Manhattan or Chelsea Piers or whatever, the East River, and whip it in.
	Yeah.
	Still going to be a big boom.
	Yeah.
	What are you doing with your fucking hair, dude?
	You're so annoying.
	Fucking Rasta.
	I'm going to get it braided later.
	So then, so it handles, and it works.
	I love when shit happens like that.
	When the cops aren't involved, when no one's getting sued, and things just even out.
	I got you out of jail.
	You got rid of the Jamaicans.
	I'm running my bar.
	Hot shit.
	I saw him today, by the way.
	Oh, you did?
	He had like seven giant contractor bags of bottles and cans.
	I go, what you got there?
	I got all these bottles.
	And I go, and he goes, they're worth five cents each.
	And I go, but where are you going to cash him in?
	That place over on Third Avenue between A and B?
	He goes, yeah, that's one place.
	I don't think he had thought of it before.
	And I go, how are you going to get down there?
	And he goes, my counselor.
	My counselor brings me food, and then she'll take me for a drive and run errands.
	And I asked her if she could help me with these bottles and cans.
	She said, yes.
	I sound like Gary's great grandma.
	A little bit.
	Let's hear your Gary.
	Gary, Ma.
	That shit.
	You know, got the bottles and the bitters.
	That was terrible.
	Yeah, that was worse than mine.
	I forgot what he sounds like.
	I try to block it out.
	Like a touching.
	Well, I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.
	So then, so now he has two more wishes with the genie.
	And he dies.
	Diabetes.
	And then at the funeral, the guy shows up.
	He's covered in tattoos.
	He's wearing like a wife beater at a funeral.
	And he's there with his guys.
	And they're all sort of middle-class people.
	Like they're from Queens, but they're wealthy.
	And they're like, what the fuck is a gangster doing here?
	And the gangster comes up to my buddy, who is the guy's brother, the dead guy's brother, and he goes, you got one left.
	You can call me once.
	So we don't know to this day if the brother had called in two of the three or if through taxes you lose one when it switches from sibling to sibling.
	Right.
	Maybe you lose a wish every time you do a transfer.
	But that would be a fun thing to have.
	And it's in perpetuity.
	You call him when you're 60.
	Pretty exciting.
	Building in Hollywood where police say a man is shot and two small bulldogs he was walking were stolen.
	This is along North Sierra Benita News.
	One of them could be worth $10,000.
	Oh, really?
	If you look closely on the right side of your screen, you can see a third dog being picked up by a stupid bitch.
	You spend $10,000 on a dog and put everyone in jeopardy?
	Why?
	This is Woman Without Kids.
	I hate my dog.
	No, sorry.
	I feel nothing for my dog.
	I look at it.
	It wants affection.
	It loves me the most for some reason.
	I go, go play with the fucking kids I bought you for.
	Great news on the cover.
	It just keeps getting better, folks.
	All things come to those who hate.
	We waited patiently.
	This cocksucker put our friends in prison.
	They're still there, four years.
	I've been trying to buy them cigarettes.
	And Max goes, I don't smoke.
	I'm like, I know you don't smoke, dude.
	It's for currency.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But FedEx said no to me.
	USPS said no.
	The post office said no.
	And I can't find a site online.
	I found one site where they want me to give some guy in China money via money gram to send.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	I think I might just have to buy a carton, bring it to the post office, and not tell them.
	Because they said no.
	But now I'm doing something illegal.
	I don't know.
	Anyway, we wished and we prayed for Cuomo to pay the Piper.
	We saw him gentrify Buffalo, New York.
	They're going to make Buffalo the new Manhattan.
	And they got billions of dollars to do it.
	It all seemed to go into this guy's pocket.
	And everyone around him went to prison for it, but not him.
	So we weren't optimistic about him going to prison.
	I never really pinned my hopes on that.
	But as someone who's totally obsessed with his reputation, his legacy, how he's perceived, I wanted him to be seen as a pig.
	And I said, God, could you just make the cover of the New York Post say Cuomo's a pig?
	And he said, okay.
	And he did.
	So this woman is alleging that he suggested strip poker.
	He's a total creep.
	We saw his nipple rings, his pierced nipples, so we know he's a fucking pig.
	And now we have two things on his record.
	We have killing old people, writing a book about how awesome he is as he killed them, which is a double whammy, getting an Emmy for his great acting when he pretended that he's a good guy, and now being a disgusting, perverted lech.
	Magic.
	Thank you, God.
	What else do we got in the news?
	I don't like this having to go to the computer.
	Why can't we not?
	God, I mean, God.
	Speaking of God, Mr. T and MC Hammer are getting mad deep.
	2-0.
	Mr. T's spelling and grammar leaves something to be desired.
	Mr. T is dropping theological truths.
	MC Hammer is dropping philosophical truths.
	I'm just glad I'm alive to see it.
	So Mr. T says, the admonition, love your enemies, is one of the greatest statements Jesus ever made.
	Love in this passage is love that originate from God himself.
	Man is not capable of loving his enemy on the bases of mere human affection, but withers on the basis, let's just say basis of the love of God Almighty.
	So, basically, what Mr. T is trying to lay down here is that you have to love your enemies, and when you do, you are getting that love free from God.
	So, without God, you can't love your enemies because you don't have the strength.
	You're too much of a pussy.
	I pity the fool who tries to love his enemies without God.
	And he does HTML.
	He made it bold.
	Oh, yeah.
	He can't spell, but he can make things bold.
	And then MC Hammer comes in.
	You bore us.
	If science is a commitment to truth, shall we cite all the historical non-truths perpetuated by scientists?
	Of course not.
	It's not science versus philosophy.
	It's science plus philosophy.
	Elevate your thinking and consciousness.
	When you measure, include the measurer.
	I don't know what either of these guys are fucking talking about.
	And I guess MC Hammer's a Rastaman now?
	What's with his avatar?
	The lion.
	The lion in Zion.
	But while these guys are arguing, a bunch of nerds proved God exists.
	That's 2-1.
	By definition, God is that for which no greater can be conceived.
	Gotcha.
	And while God exists in the understanding of the concept, we could conceive of him as greater if he existed in reality.
	Therefore, he must exist.
	So God is infinite.
	Our brains can only handle finite things.
	So he has to exist.
	Wait, no.
	God is infinite.
	And if he were just a normal dude, then he would be finite, right?
	Wait.
	God is that for which no greater can be conceived.
	I got that.
	While God exists in the understanding of the concept, we could conceive of him as greater if he existed in reality.
	Right.
	Yeah, so if he was just a concept, that's not great enough.
	If he really was the thing, then that's greater.
	And the definition of God is to be the greatest.
	So there's nothing greater than existing.
	Not existing is below that.
	So by definition...
	Now, I get that philosophically.
	It makes sense.
	But why do you need a MacBook to hammer that out?
	The fact that formalizing such complicated theorems can be left to computers opens up all kinds of possibilities, Ben Zlumer told Spiegel Online.
	It's totally amazing that from this argument led by Goodell, all this stuff can be proven automatically in a few seconds or even less on a standard notebook.
	Okay, this is out of my hands.
	Let's get dumb and drift over to Biden land because that's making me feel dumb and Biden makes me feel like a genius.
	So let's see the weekend of Bernie's thing.
	So some of these are kind of old.
	The first one I have there, Petty Town on Capitol Hill.
	Oh yeah, this was interesting.
	I count this as Biden because it's his staff, right?
	Or it's his time in office administration, right?
	So Democrat Mary Newman puts a transgender flag outside Marjorie Taylor Greene's office on Capitol Hill.
	Is this sorority girl shit or what?
	I mean, both of them are being petty.
	But I get that MTG had to respond.
	So scroll down a bit.
	Yeah, that's the response.
	You can play that.
	There are two.
	Trust the science.
	What's the bug?
	It's in the bottom right.
	Trust the science, yeah.
	Using their own.
	But see if you have the one before that set it all off.
	Yeah, there we go.
	This is what started the fight.
	That's not a video.
	There it is.
	You are gay.
	Why are you gay?
	I'm so glad women are getting involved in politics, aren't you?
	We're learning so much from them.
	So, speaking of trannies, Biden's freakazoid, that old Jewish guy, wants your kids, your sons, to chop their dicks off.
	Does he want to keep them, too?
	Well, I mean, if no one is, if they're just going to go in the garbage, I could have them pickled and on my mantle.
	I bet.
	On my fireplace, by my hearth.
	I could have your fucking twigs and berries on my hearth as I roast a fire.
	That wouldn't surprise me.
	Look at this guy.
	It literally looks like a little nightmares monster.
	You just look like a Jewish guy with long hair.
	An ugly old Jewish accountant with long hair.
	He's like you were the first basis for the Grateful Dead.
	Accountant.
	Scroll down.
	Teenagers.
	So what if you're a transgender teenager?
	Pretty good voice.
	So what if you, remember puberty?
	Wasn't that fun?
	Wasn't that a lot of fun?
	So what if you're going through the wrong?
	I like the music.
	What if you're a transgender young woman, meaning male to female, and now you're getting, you know, your voice is dropping, you're getting bigger, you're getting hair everywhere, and you're growing those tendons.
	And what if you're a transgender young man and now you have breast development engineering?
	It can be terrifying.
	There's a lot of mental health issues during that time.
	The previous treatment before these new guidelines came together.
	So hold on a second.
	I'm smarter than this person.
	This is why I like doing Biden stuff better than talking about the existence of God via computers.
	The post-op suicidal rate is brutal, worse than it was for Jews in Germany in 1944.
	Pretty bad.
	So you're talking about how it's weird for lesbians who identify as male to grow tits, which, by the way, this mentality is devastating the lesbian community.
	They're gone.
	There's 13 lesbian bars left in America right now because lesbians are no longer lesbians.
	They're men.
	And gays are no longer gays.
	They're women with dicks or not.
	So they're eradicating gay and lesbian culture.
	I said this a long time ago.
	I said, hey, LG, drop the BTQ.
	They don't like you.
	They're dragging you down.
	They're loonies.
	And now they're doing worse than dragging them down.
	They're eradicating them.
	They're erasing them.
	They always accuse us of not wanting gays to exist.
	No, these trans people are making you cease to exist.
	And you know who else has that attitude?
	Saudi Arabia, the Middle East, Iran.
	Remember that weird guy who always wore the golf jackets?
	Oh, fuck, what was his name?
	He said we have no homosexuals in Iran.
	None.
	And he was right, because we just make them into women.
	In one of the most disturbing operations you can imagine, a heart transplant is less gross and less complicated than turning a dick into a vagina.
	We went over it on the show via CGI, but it is a fucking horror show.
	And what you're left with is not a vagina.
	It's a hole.
	It's a stinky hole that grows hairs.
	The hairs collect...
	What's his name again?
	Azer Bajan?
	What's his name?
	Ahmadinajad.
	I'm a Dinajad.
	I'm a Dinajad.
	I'm Adinajad.
	Look at those lapels.
	What the fuck?
	He's not messing around.
	Weird.
	It's a stinky hole.
	The hair collects in it.
	The hair starts rotting.
	It reeks up the room.
	It smells like farts all day.
	And a vagina can take a huge range of penises from Ryan's tiny grain of rice to my anaconda.
	It can even take a baby, which is around the same size as my dick.
	A baby-sized dick.
	It's like Quatto.
	With the hole they make, it's usually about this big.
	It has no ups or downs.
	So you better find a boyfriend with to the millimeter the exact size of your hole or you're not going to feel anything or it's going to rip it to shreds.
	And I met a guy who fucked a tranny in her hole once.
	You know what he told me?
	He's since gone blind.
	You know that guy who's on Pat Dixon's show who can barely see?
	He has a walking stick?
	Oh, yes.
	He was on Burning Bridges.
	Brian McCarthy.
	I knew him when he had eyeballs back in 08.
	And he had just fucked a tranny.
	And he said, let me see him.
	Yeah, that guy.
	That's back when he could see, I guess.
	It's funny that he waited until he was blind to not fuck a tranny.
	What?
	That's a terrible way of saying it.
	He said it felt like frozen gummy bears in there.
	Yeah.
	Just a weird, bumpy texture that was unforgiving and mean.
	It was a cruel place to be inside of her vagina.
	Anyway, sorry.
	So this is Biden's appointee telling us that we should cut kids' dicks off.
	This is a clip of Brian McCarthy losing it on Gino.
	What the fuck?
	Fucking annoying.
	Oh, I remember this.
	Because I fell off, because I was running to pick up my kid and I fell down the stairs because I have a kid.
	Alright, I don't know.
	It's just going to be B-roll, but I want to start a whole thing.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, this is him getting all red.
	No drug piece of shit, and you fucking toad.
	No!
	This is our death!
	We don't hear him talk!
	Bring me!
	What are you doing?
	He literally!
	I have to talk!
	Brad, I'm talking about his geno.
	Don't you dare.
	I'm on your side.
	I love you more.
	I know you're best.
	Don't you know?
	So he's got eyes, but they just don't work.
	Yeah, they don't work anymore.
	I think they worked okay back then.
	It's been very recent.
	He's got degenerative eye things.
	Anyway, go back to that fucking freak show.
	And thank you, by the way, for the viewer who wrote in or called in and explained that they're not gays.
	They're intense, straight perverts who fetishize women so much that they want panties on and tits on their bodies.
	So right now, he's fucking a chick by wearing her skin.
	Sounds of the lamps is what it is.
	There was no medical treatment for individuals that were in their 1800s.
	So there are new guidelines.
	So these are the new guidelines that are very well accepted by healthcare professionals.
	They're international guidelines.
	And most children's hospitals will be for pre-pubertal children.
	There is no medical treatment.
	Well, that kind of makes sense.
	I mean, they're pre-puberts.
	They don't really have clinical levels of sex hormones, so what medical treatment?
	So the idea would be to see a counselor, a therapist who is supportive, who has knowledge about these issues, to, you know, come to consumption CD medically and then hang out with the media.
	That's enough.
	Anyway, towards the end there, he says we should discuss the possibility of sex changes at pre-18.
	You can't get a tattoo until you're 18, but you can chop your fucking dick off in one of the most disgusting and disturbing ways imaginable.
	The only thing that's grosser than male-to-female surgery is female to male, where they just keep ripping off pieces of your forearm until they can make a cheese blints and glue it to your pubes.
	And it looks absolutely ridiculous.
	It looks, ladies, say you're obsessed with having sex with your lesbian lover as a man.
	I'll buy you the top of the line strap on.
	You won't even be able to see the straps.
	They'll be skin colored.
	And if you're fat, your fat will lean over them.
	And the cock will have veins.
	And it'll look amazing.
	The cheese blints that you make doesn't feel good.
	You can't put it in a woman.
	So it's just a fake appendage.
	Smells so bad you have to put cinnamon sticks next to it.
	And when you see their forearms, they're maimed.
	See if you can find any examples.
	I've used them on my phone for the longest time, and I would show people in bars.
	I go, do you know what?
	Have you ever seen the dicks they make?
	And then I would show people, but I stopped doing it because it would just sort of bum out the vibe.
	And people would be in a bad mood.
	So it's for our post-op sexual reassignment surgery.
	You've got to be really careful with what you write.
	Because like sex change doesn't work.
	F-T-O-M.
	Oh, fuck.
	Okay, warning, warning, warning.
	If you're eating, stop watching.
	Close your eyes.
	And go.
	So that's where they get this meat from.
	Look at that.
	This is satanic.
	It really is.
	Like, what did Jack the Ripper do?
	I don't think it was that bad.
	No.
	You're worse than Jack the Ripper.
	You would blush.
	Hey, Satan, can you take a day off, please?
	Satan, laughing, removes forearm skin and puts it as a penis cheese blade.
	Just like going to Netflix Bender.
	You've accomplished a lot.
	Yeah, and you'll be proud of what's on there.
	It's like Coca-Cola.
	People go, why do they keep advertising?
	Everyone knows who they are.
	This is pre-woke days.
	I feel that way with Satan.
	All right, you've let the pendulum swing back a little bit, dude.
	Also, from Biden's administration, we talked about this already, but here's the evidence.
	His new attorney general, who is a weird, dirty little man, says that Antifa attacks on federal courthouses in Portland may not be domestic terrorism because they happened at night.
	Remember I mentioned this yesterday?
	You see, judges make decisions in the day, so it's bad to vandalize in the day.
	Judges are at home in bed at night, so they can't, you're not thwarting the justice system if you blow up shit at night.
	That's just vandalism.
	Let me ask you about assaults on federal property in places other than Washington, D.C., Portland, for instance, Seattle.
	Do you regard assaults on federal courthouses or other federal property as acts of domestic extremism, domestic terrorism?
	Well, Senator, my own definition, which is about the same as the statutory definition, is a use of violence or threats of violence, an attempt to disrupt democratic processes.
	Oh, good.
	No, stop, stop.
	That's not what it is.
	It's any kind of act of violence or terror, damage, vandalism, physical assault, intimidation, any kind of assault, attack, to achieve political gains.
	It's not necessarily to make a judge's job harder that day.
	When they bomb a building, it's to draw attention to their group.
	They don't really, it doesn't really matter how many people they kill as far as the definition of terrorism goes.
	So if the planes, instead of going into the trade center, if they went into like a residential complex, it wouldn't be terrorism.
	Yeah.
	According to this.
	Yeah.
	What if the 9-11 planes blew up the South Bronx and killed a bunch of houses there?
	Is that okay?
	Is that vandalism?
	If they hit a DMV or a courthouse, it would have been.
	A courthouse while in operation, trying to prevent...
	But if they did it at night, after court was at a session, then it wouldn't have been a lot of people.
	That's literally what he's saying.
	Judges from actually deciding cases that plainly is domestic extremism, domestic terrorism, domestic terrorism.
	An attack simply on government property at night or any other kind of circumstances is a clear crime and a serious one and should be punished.
	I mean, I don't know enough about the facts of the example you're talking about, but that's where I draw the line.
	One is both are criminal, but one is a core attack on our democratic institutions.
	So Texas is weird because I see it and go, well, you didn't let them have natural gas.
	You pushed wind, energy, and solar, and both those things suck, and you had an emergency, and you were fucked.
	The left sees Texas and the blackout, and they go, you dumb conservatives, you didn't have enough infrastructure.
	What?
	So it's a weird case because both sides see it as a victory.
	But 3-0, we learn that the Biden administration blocked Texas from increasing power as Texas begged for help a week before the catastrophic polar vortex.
	Texas asked to temporarily lift regulations on energy output to avoid disaster.
	Biden's Department of Energy refused to help due to quote-unquote green energy standards.
	That's all you got to know.
	That's all you got to do.
	Whoa.
	He killed people.
	You know, Alex Jones went around in his tank saying this, I think.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Go to 3-1.
	Can we get a tank?
	No.
	Okay.
	Golf cart?
	Says Corey Bush.
	I never heard of her.
	This is the real-life consequence of a system that puts corporate greed over the lives of regular people.
	An 11-year-old baby lost his life to what is suspected to be hypothermia.
	Rest in peace, Christian, and may your memory forever be a blessing.
	You deserve so much better.
	11-year-old boy died in an unheated Texas mobile home.
	Who is this Bush girl, though?
	What side is she on?
	Congresswoman, nurse, blah, blah, blah.
	St. Louis, Black Lives Matter.
	Okay, so she's an imbecile.
	So yeah.
	Biden blocked more energy going to Texas because it violated the Green New Deal.
	And when we say the Green New Deal, we don't literally mean AOC's Green New Deal.
	We just mean the whole concept, this new green deal they're pushing on everything.
	I saw Trevor Noah saying, it doesn't exist, and Trump's bitching about it.
	It exists.
	You haven't hammered out the details yet, but we're in the midst of it right now.
	We can say green energy policies if that's easier for you to understand.
	And then Schumer, Chuck Schumer, not only does he enjoy that people died and that they're somehow able to leverage this against the right, he says, I hope you learned your lesson.
	Remember, Obama said, Oh, you can have a coal power plant, but we will bankrupt you.
	And now you always wonder what's it going to be like when the power starts going out in July and August and in really bad freezes.
	What's it going to be like when we have rolling blackouts?
	Well, now you know it's your fault.
	So here's Chucky Schumer saying he hopes Texas learned its lesson.
	He doesn't matter this makes you mad because they don't have to win elections.
	They're a permanent dictatorship now.
	The Supreme Court just ruled they can steal any election they want.
	Here it is.
	The bottom line is Texas thought it could go at it alone and built a system that ignored climate change.
	It was not what's called resilient.
	And now Texas is paying the price.
	I hope they learned the lesson.
	I hope you enjoyed that dead child, Texas.
	So they come up with all that wind and energy solar crap, and they say you didn't build a resilient enough system.
	How about I just use oil and gas that's been working for centuries?
	Why do I have to have solar panels that can resist snow or wind turbines that can resist cold?
	How about we don't pursue those because they don't fucking work?
	Solar, my ass.
	3-3, Biden admitted he stormed the Capitol.
	I guess he was, oh, it wasn't January 6th, though, slightly before that.
	What was that like walking into the great Senate chamber at 29 years old?
	You know, I walked in when I was 21, and I got arrested.
	It was a Saturday.
	I was down visiting some friends at Georgetown University.
	And I came up on a Saturday morning because I was fascinated with the Senate.
	And they had a Saturday session.
	I walked up those days, no guards stopping everywhere.
	And they just got out of session.
	I walked in the back.
	All of a sudden, I found myself in the chamber, and I was stunned.
	I walked up, sat down in the presiding officer's seat.
	Guy grabbed me by the shoulder, said, you're under arrest.
	Oh.
	Mr. Biden has committed the most unthinkable act of terror one can imagine.
	It was during the day, too.
	During the day.
	Well, there was a session.
	And yeah, that's domestic terrorism.
	Isn't it weird to see him talking normally?
	Talking well, yeah.
	With a brain that operates.
	It's like a different guy.
	Knowing where he lives, remembering dates, recounting stories.
	Children?
	Not a children.
	No, and also bald.
	Right.
	Okay, last story in the Biden category.
	So we're told now, we know there was an Antifa member, John Sullivan, on the troops.
	I think he broke the window that Ashley Babbitt jumped through.
	I think he led to her getting killed because he kept saying, go, go, move, move, move.
	But that's been scrubbed.
	Also, the fact that CNN paid him for his footage has also been scrubbed from the internet.
	They really want Proud Boys to be responsible, but it appears we have some Boogaloos involved.
	Three or four groups of loyalists under his command.
	But the Boogaloos are now seen as at the forefront of the January 6th thing.
	The problem is Boogaloos, and they're not really a thing.
	They're not like Proud Boys or Oath Keepers where there's members.
	The Boogaloos are just like people who dress up in Hawaiian shirts, and there's like 13 of them, and they almost exclusively exist online.
	But anyway, they made an appearance, a rare cameo on January 6th, and they hate Trump.
	They're also basically anarchists.
	They're sort of like America First guys, but kookier.
	They're sort of like America First meets Oath Keepers with a dash of crazy.
	They got Black Lives Matter things.
	They're like pro-Black Lives Matter.
	Remember they did with Black BLM and Antifa, I think?
	So they are basically Antifa in Hawaiian shirts.
	So the narrative of the Capitol appears to be crumbling, and they just, they want it to be Proud Boys so badly.
	Anyway, speaking of Proud Boys, I disparaged Chairman Enrique Tario on this show.
	I said I was very angry at him.
	I felt betrayed that he had worked with the FBI and not told us.
	I don't think he should have been chairman after working with the FBI.
	I understand how sometimes the FBI forces you to become a snitch.
	If you sell Coke and you buy your mom a Range Rover, they'll say she benefited from drug money and threaten to put her in jail.
	So you either got to put mom in jail or flip.
	That's why I don't do crimes because I can't do the time.
	However, if you choose the life of criminal, you can't throw other criminals in jail.
	So at the very least, I think he fucked up by not telling me that or telling any of us that.
	But it wasn't fair of me to shit on him, though I did have all the receipts.
	I did look everything up.
	And by the way, I didn't see anything in any of the courtwork, courtroom papers, and I have like 50 pages for the various transcripts about grow houses or steroids.
	All I saw was he agreed to work with the feds and he got a reduction from 30 months to 16 months, which isn't much of a reduction.
	I mean, Max and John would love to be out in 30 months.
	Anyway, let's talk to Enrique and let's hear his side of the story.
	It's uncomfortable, but it makes for great TV.
	Enrique, are you there, sir?
	I am here, sir.
	All right, let's just air the dirty laundry.
	Why don't you start out by telling us your version of events and then we can go back to the FBI and the media's narrative?
	My version of events with the FBI, and I've talked about this a couple of times, and everybody seems to want to make me apologize for what happened eight years ago.
	And I'm not.
	I'm not going to apologize for what happened eight years ago.
	The FBI came in because I was selling diabetic test strips, and they used my family, my brothers, and my co-defendant as leverage.
	They wanted me to testify against my brothers, and I refused.
	And because I refused, a week later, I'm not saying it's attributed to it, I went from zero jail Time to three and a half years is what I was looking at in the sentencing guidelines.
	So I decided to go the route, and I've talked to you about this in the show before.
	I've decided to go the route of arguing the amount of money damages to lower my sentence.
	So as we got closer to doing that, I did give them something.
	I gave them a human smuggling ring, which did lead to an arrest.
	There's a lot of stuff on that paperwork that isn't clear because you don't have everybody else's paperwork.
	I didn't turn in people with grow houses.
	I didn't turn in people that were steroids is what I saw.
	I didn't turn in gambling rings.
	I did turn somebody in.
	I did turn in the human smuggling ring.
	So your contention is that's the only one you did because the FBI is saying you led to more than a dozen arrests.
	No, that is between the codefendants, which I had two other co-defendants, and you could look at their paperwork.
	We collectively said that, they collectively said that we got 12 arrests.
	But as far as my stuff goes, it was the human trafficking ring, and that's it, because I already had my argument.
	My argument was that I was wholesaling these diabetic test strips and not retailing them.
	They couldn't use that argument.
	So because of what I did, and again, I'm not going to say I'm proud of it.
	I'm not going to say I'm a fucking hero, right?
	And I'm not going to use it as some type of like bargaining chip.
	But because of what I did, my four brothers that were facing three years in prison didn't do a single day.
	They put me in a very tough spot.
	And what pisses me off more is that people are accusing me of now working with the FBI when I've shown the exact opposite.
	I'm facing two years in prison for fucking plastic magazines taking it into Washington, D.C. Was that stupid of me to do?
	Yeah, that was a stupid thing of me to do.
	Did I admit to burning a BLM banner?
	Yes, I did.
	And we can argue that all day.
	But one thing I'm not is a fucking FBI informant at all.
	I've made mistakes.
	And the moment that I made a single mistake with one of these rallies, because I admit January 6th was stupid.
	It was stupid.
	But the moment that I make one mistake, all the jackals come out and they were nipping at my heels.
	And now everybody wants to jump on me for that.
	Again, I'm not going to apologize for it.
	I have no intention of doing so.
	I did that eight years ago.
	So what were the grow houses?
	Was that your codefendants?
	Those grow houses were my co-defendants, both my co-defendants.
	One passed away a year later after he got out of prison.
	And that includes like the steroid ring and, I believe, the gambling thing.
	But again, the only thing that I gave was the human smuggling ring.
	Well, I went through all your paperwork, and that's the only thing that's there.
	Actually, it doesn't even say the human smuggling.
	It says you just, you worked with the feds to go from 30 months to 16 months.
	But the part I don't get is, say you have that in your past.
	Why lead a club then?
	I mean, surely that would absolve you from leading any clubs in the future because you've worked with the feds before.
	You know, we don't let trans in the military.
	We don't let people with flat feet in the military.
	If you've worked with the feds, you shouldn't lead a club.
	Well, one thing is there was some members that did know, and I've said this story before.
	I didn't go into detail of the story because for real, it's nobody's business.
	I don't think that what I did eight years ago constitutes, regardless of right or wrong, I don't think it constitutes who I am now.
	And, you know, you said on your show the other day, oh, this is the end.
	Pretty much, we don't know where the Proud Boys are going to go.
	I know exactly where the Proud Boys are going to go, and they're not going to go anywhere, regardless of my leadership or not.
	I'm not running for re-election as chairman in September.
	I already told the guys that.
	I actually told the guys that before the thing came out.
	But, you know, I just felt like it was nobody's business what I did eight years ago.
	Well, it makes people worried that if any shit hit the fan, you'd be more likely to flip on them.
	Yeah, no, I completely, look, I completely understand some people's position.
	And I went on like this audio chat tour with all the chapters.
	It took me a long time.
	It took me about two weeks to address these guys and tell them, hey, this is my story.
	If you choose to accept it, you accept it.
	If not, you know, whatever.
	And I put a poll up for myself as far as, you know, I put a vote of no confidence on myself in the club.
	And it's still going on.
	But again, I'm not, I'm not, unless it's the will of the club to remove me, then at that point, then I'll go with the will of the club because I am, I was the voice of the club for a long time.
	Right now, we're trying to focus internally.
	And I think we're doing a pretty good job of that.
	No rallies, no colors in public and things like that.
	But yeah, they did have reason to question me, but I did address those people.
	There's still some people that don't like me, but welcome to reality.
	There's people that haven't liked me from the beginning.
	There's people that haven't liked you from the beginning.
	Have you heard of this Make Proud Boys Clandestine Again movement?
	Not by that name, but yeah.
	Where they're saying, never go to fucking rallies.
	Let's make a secret organization again.
	Just have the beer drinking and the private meetings and all that stuff.
	Like, I understood providing security for Ann Coulter and Lauren Southern and all that, but I never really quite understood the relentless rallying.
	I'd say I disagree with you there.
	I think we're in a moment in an election year that was extremely pivotal to U.S. history, and we're living it now.
	Everything that we've been preaching for the past four and a half years, the Democrats have done in the past four weeks.
	We've seen political persecution.
	They're hunting down these people that were Trespassers, essentially.
	They have Rufio in jail in what seems to be like this Guantanamo thing where he can't even speak to his lawyer.
	We've seen massive censorship.
	The first United States president gets censored on like the platform that he speaks to the people of.
	You know who gets, you know, who gets inaugurated with 20,000 members of the National Guard and almost no citizens?
	A fucking dictator.
	So, you know, excuse me if I disagree with you.
	I think that the rallies were necessary.
	Did we make a mistake on January 6th?
	Absolutely so.
	Did I make a huge mistake on January 6th?
	Yes, I did.
	But you're so careful about things like getting drunk.
	I've never seen you drunk.
	You're always so organized about your felony status.
	And just having a magazine in your luggage just seems crazy.
	I've heard people tell me that that's worse than having a gun for a felony.
	I've put a lot of fucking powder in my nose throughout the past four years.
	So that I could definitely admit to.
	The magazine thing.
	So I've heard the conspiracy theory of the magazine thing, but you have to play it out, right?
	Because if the feds pick me up because I'm an informant, right?
	And they picked me up two days before because that would insinuate that they knew that the siege on the Capitol was going to happen on Wednesday.
	And that is the most far-fetched thing I have ever heard.
	So they picked me up because they knew the Capitol.
	They let the Capitol thing happen.
	I mean, it's something out of a Tom Clancy book.
	But didn't you see all the police saying magazines?
	I'm from Florida.
	Like, I'm not used to fucking magazines being illegal.
	Right.
	But just to help the theory that this was planned to happen, that you saw the cops going like this, come on.
	You saw the cops standing by.
	You saw unprecedented lack of police presence that morning.
	I think there is evidence that the Powers of B wanted there to be a riot.
	I think that there's a lot that points in the direction of the inadequacy of the cops.
	I mean, you had six, I think it's six or eight of them got suspended for letting people into the Capitol.
	And we're currently looking at, you know, who these cops are, where they were positioned, and to see if any of the eight individuals, eight proud boys that have been arrested passed by these cops at any point.
	Because if you really, I was actually discussing this with somebody, the tiers of, I guess, crimes that were committed at the Capitol.
	You know, you got people that hurt cops, right?
	We found out that that cop didn't die from being assaulted.
	But we got the second tier, which is like breaking stuff or stealing something.
	And then you have the tier that 99% of the people that walked in there are in, which are just people that trespassed.
	And even trespassing is pushing the limit on it because although they might have felt it was wrong to go in there, there was nobody there that stopped them.
	There was people there that were waiving them in.
	And this thing has been used, this thing was used as ammo, and they've used it to pass legislation.
	We're seeing pieces of legislation trying to be passed right now to label groups, American citizens, domestic terrorists.
	I don't think it's going to pass.
	Even the far left is completely against it.
	But they're using it for power.
	And I honestly don't think that there's like this deep state thing to let this happen.
	I honestly think that Trump supporters have been peaceful for the past four and a half years.
	We've never had an instance like January 6th.
	But the first time that we have an instance of something, it turns into like this national emergency where they have to change laws.
	I saw it with my own eyes.
	I saw them at the federal courthouse.
	There was so much warning.
	I mean, you got stabbed in November.
	You went back in December.
	You got stabbed again.
	Both times, the media's takeaway was that Proud Boys go somewhere and a stabbing occurs.
	So the narrative is that Proud Boys are doing the stabbing, not getting stabbed.
	No one mentioned that it was Proud Boys who were stabbed.
	Nobody.
	So that's November, that's December.
	January, someone's going to get stabbed, and the takeaway is going to be they're back and there's more stabbings.
	Like, why give them that?
	So in December, I knew something, something, I knew there was mistakes made in December.
	So we wanted to correct that.
	So one of the things that we did was there was a lot of new guys that came in December and went to the rally.
	So we wanted to limit that.
	So we decided to go in a small group on January 6th.
	And I said that we're going to go incognito.
	It was a public statement.
	We're actually just going to go in regular clothes.
	And our plan, and the cool part about this is that I have all of this documented.
	So I'm waiting.
	I'm waiting for one of our guys to go to trial or need some type of evidence.
	I'm in communication with a lot of their attorneys.
	I have evidence of what our plans actually were that day, which was just to walk to the Washington Monument in no colors so nobody could identify us and then watch the president speak.
	And then at 4 o'clock, we were going to leave to Virginia because all the bars were closed and they had those COVID restrictions on, but those restrictions didn't apply to Virginia.
	So we were going to drive over to Virginia and sit at the bar the whole night.
	Because the problem that we had with November 14th and December 12th was the night marches.
	So I wanted to stay out of DC completely at night on January 6th.
	And that's all in emails and messages.
	The Capitol is going to get sieged.
	If the Capitol didn't get sieged, this conversation would be completely different.
	We'd be celebrating about how the Proud Boys duped them yet again, thinking that we're going to go in black block.
	There was no protesters.
	And I'd like to think that there was no protesters because they thought we were going to come in black block.
	We had them going crazy, looking to see how they were going to mark themselves, things like that.
	But you were so successful in December.
	And Tifa were attacking black single moms, old people, kids.
	They were terrorizing the city.
	Proud boys showed up, beat them up, and left.
	And it was like, there we go, tie a bow on it, we're good.
	Yeah.
	And that was a plan moving forward that we're going to restructure how we did rallies because we did have success on November 14th, and we did have success on December 12th.
	You know, unfortunately, we had like these incidents that happened, but something that nobody's talking about, the difference between November 14th and December 12th, is that Trump supporters weren't attacked on December 12th because we were around November 14th.
	So, but we did want to, we did want to bring that volume down while still attending one of these events.
	It's not like we were invited to go to Charlottesville.
	We were invited, like the president had a rally and we wanted to attend a rally.
	It was a regular thing that we thought was going to be completely peaceful.
	So we didn't want to go in our clothes.
	We didn't want to attract attention.
	We just wanted to just hang out.
	So you weren't there as Proud Boys.
	You were there as civilians.
	We were there as civilians.
	And I think another mistake, and this was probably planned.
	I usually plan these things to a T. And I usually have everything in my head.
	So when I'm on the ground, I could push and pull what I'm going to do.
	By them taking me out of the equation, I'll be honest with you.
	I think that if I would have been there, I think we wouldn't have even gone to the Capitol.
	Like we wouldn't have even marched towards a Capitol.
	Because I would have stopped it because I knew that we had a time constraint.
	I knew that we had to get back to our cars.
	We had to drive out of this place.
	DC locks down like all the streets.
	And I honestly think that we would have stopped this from happening.
	Another thing that happens at these rallies, and we've seen it in videos that I do, is I always establish a buffer zone between the police line and the Proud Boys.
	There's always about 15 feet.
	I don't like going face to face with the cops.
	I always like keeping that buffer zone.
	So I think, and I'm not going to say that this would have prevented it, that first barricade that would have been broken, if Proud Boys would have been there and I would have been there, we would have established that buffer zone and nobody would have pushed at least through that barricade.
	I don't know if later on there was other ways that people would have gone in, but I think we would have been able to stop it.
	Yeah, it just, it smelled a trouble.
	I mean, I don't blame you for the grow houses and the steroids.
	I think the FBI is twisting the story to make you look bad.
	But I still just really resent you not mentioning the FBI thing.
	You say it's nobody's business, but it is when you're running a club.
	It's a big detail.
	I do resent it too.
	I do resent it that I didn't go ahead and say this.
	Like looking back at it, why didn't I say it?
	And again, my position is that it was nobody's business.
	But looking back at it on when we're starting to get back to normal, but when that tension started, I was just getting on a flight.
	We rented this cabin in the middle of nowhere with no reception.
	And I'm like, I'm just going to enjoy family for this weekend.
	And this bomb drops.
	And I had to deal with it my entire trip, which I was happy to do.
	But looking back at it, yes, I should have said, hey, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
	I'm talking about years ago when we first met.
	You should have said, hey, I'm going to be running this club.
	That's what I'm saying.
	And I should have said it before.
	But I have this FBI background.
	And at least everyone would be prepared because your mind starts racing when you hear that you kept it a secret.
	Like, I thought, why did Enrique want me to do a talk there?
	Why did he want me to come to January 6th?
	And then I was thinking about that time here at the Trump Hotel.
	And I won't say his name, but there's a guy with Nazi ties.
	And I was like, look, this dude needs to be disavowed and fucking crushed because he's bad news.
	And you seemed reluctant to do it.
	And then I was thinking, did he want that stupid idiot alt-right moron to stay in the club?
	He was out.
	It's just the thing is that there's a process to it.
	I don't want to just, I don't have executive privilege to just kick somebody out, but I do have a voice.
	And I did use that voice.
	And we have kicked out people.
	Perfect example.
	I mean, he left on his own, but I think he got meme to death.
	Brian James came out.
	One thing I don't like is if I have a problem with somebody, like, I had a problem with you not bringing me on the show and talking about me.
	And I text you.
	I didn't go to the public.
	I don't like public spats.
	I hate them.
	So when we can't solve something internally, I never go out.
	So this Brian James character decides to go on his own and make these videos and make these posts and things like that.
	And he, you know, don't throw stones if you live in a glass house.
	I mean, this guy's history is fucking disgusting.
	And I believe people can be reformed, but I don't think he's reformed.
	I think he's a sociopath.
	Okay.
	What's the status of everyone now?
	Ann Coulter keeps asking me about it because she's writing about it.
	And the story I have is there was probably 30,000 people there on January 6th.
	As far as how many people stormed the Capitol, I've heard there was 135 arrests.
	Out of those people that were arrested, five of them were members.
	Is that correct?
	I think those numbers are a little dated, but they were correct at some point.
	So except the 30,000.
	If you look at the picture outside pointing outside of the Capitol, while people were coming up the stairs, there was about 80 to 100,000 people out there outside the Capitol.
	It doesn't mean that they went in, but their arrests right now are 261 as of this morning.
	Out of those 261, eight of them are Proud Boys.
	CNN reported the other day that there was an extra five Proud Boys that were arrested.
	None of them were Proud Boys and included two women.
	So we're at eight right now.
	And four of them have conspiracy theories.
	I mean, conspiracy charges.
	And they're two different conspiracies.
	So DiCarlo and Oakes, they're journalists and they're media guys and they walked in there to kind of film everything.
	And they have a conspiracy charge, I believe, if I'm not mistaken, for raising money just to go into Washington.
	And then the other two guys, they didn't even work.
	I guess they met each other there because we didn't even know that these guys were coming.
	And they practically went in on their own because they weren't part of this.
	Usually we have these conversations on who's going and they weren't part of that conversation.
	Then the other four we have obviously Joe Biggs, we have Rufio, and we have another two Proud Boys.
	But nobody, besides one of them nobody out of seven out of the eight were just trespassing they didn't break anything they didn't assault a police officer biggs went in and was asking there's video of this biggs was asking where the bathroom was and the cop's like oh back over here and he went to the bathroom and right after that is when he left the fbi also states that uh biggs came in right as that march came that's also a lie uh biggs came in uh long time
	i love i used to live to your records as a kid wasn't worth it huh so gay i should have gone hey here you jumpy go to giants ten get down We were in the middle of the street.
	He was crossing from Penn Station to whatever 7th Ave, and I was going towards Penn Station.
	So we were in the middle of the street.
	I should have jumped in front of him and screamed, Yeah, hey, you, Jammy!
	Connected Gias Ten Gitas!
	That would have been good.
	That song is from like 1971.
	It would have been a totally original thing to scream at him.
	He would have laughed his head off.
	And then I banished Jeff Jensen, the guy who got shot through the chest and lives in Jamaica now.
	He is friends with his daughter.
	Oh, no way.
	Yeah.
	That's pretty badass.
	Does she live there?
	They all lived in New York until his Parkinson's came along.
	He's like this now.
	So he's in Florida because the warm air is better for him.
	And then Rush Limbaugh got in trouble for saying that's Coke.
	Yeah, that's Kara.
	I corresponded with her very briefly.
	And I said I'd love to get him on the show.
	And she was like, not happening, dude.
	I get it.
	Like, the guy's done.
	If you want to have a Billy Connolly interview, look him up.
	I mean, there's a billion of them.
	Great guy, though.
	It looks like you could play him in a fucking movie.
	I'd like to.
	That looks like you with some...
	He's got a cooler nose than me, though.
	I have this little faggot bitch nose.
	Bitch nose McInnis.
	Hey, bitch nose.
	Shut up.
	All right.
	I think we have time for some racism.
	Oh, always time for racism.
	That should be our motto.
	Censored.tv.
	There's always time for racism.
	Let's talk about racism.
	That was racist, guys.
	Speaking of racism, I have to come to terms with the fact that I would say half of our viewers do not believe in dinosaurs.
	They believe in dinosaurs.
	It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
	And half of our subscribers are like, leave him alone.
	He's right.
	But I never made a stance on that.
	I just said, I'm questioning what I just want to know that I know something.
	According to our viewers, planes did not go into the World Trade Center.
	That's not true.
	Dinosaurs did not exist.
	And I would say 5 to 10% of our viewers think the Earth is flat.
	We've got some weirdos tuning in.
	And I love them all.
	So Azealia Banks marries a Jew, and she goes, I'm a Jew now.
	And they go, you can't be a Jew.
	You can't just become a Jew.
	You have to convert.
	And she goes, no, I'm just saying I'm a Jew.
	And she goes, what did she say?
	Well, I try to tell the trans girls that getting castrated doesn't automatically make them a female.
	But if society can do mental gymnastics to lie and tell them that an eggless person who still produces semen is a woman and let them rock, you are all going to bend the rules to accept this newly black Jewish coochie.
	I'm Jewish now.
	You can't stop me.
	No, you girls are just hot gay boys with beat faces and plastic surgery.
	I live for the trans girls, but the trans shit is really a non-issue.
	Just gay boys on hormones using male aggression to force their ways into women's spaces.
	Wow.
	You all are just beautiful niggas laughing my ass off, except yourselves.
	And they really are.
	Like, men are good at muscling their way into things.
	That's why we play football and rugby and box.
	And now that we're getting into women's sports, we're muscling our way in and taking over.
	And being good at it.
	So we did this with lesbians.
	We took over.
	I saw lesbians.
	If you're a lesbian, you go on a lesbian dating app, it's all dudes with shitty hairdos.
	Ugly dudes with a dress on going, hi, I'm a lady with a strap on that doesn't come off.
	I'd like to fuck you.
	And the lesbians are like, I think dicks are gross.
	That's why I'm a lesbian.
	So we've eradicated lesbianity.
	Homosexuality is next.
	And women's sports are on the chopping block.
	And lastly, Azealia Banks says, because why can you chop your cock and say you're a girl, but I can't catch the Jewish nut and be Jewish?
	Stop trying to exclude black people from everything.
	She's great, man.
	We've got to get her on the show.
	Milo's friends with her.
	I had lunch with her and Milo once.
	Why can't Milo get her on the show?
	Just talk about horoscopes with her.
	What's going on with Milo, by the way?
	Has he missed two shows?
	I don't know.
	I check his Telegram and it's all Jesus Christ.
	Is he going cuckoo?
	Is he going Gaga?
	Cooku Dal?
	Is he going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?
	Kaka.
	Oh, this was funny.
	Speaking of, this has sort of been a theme all week where you look at this and you say, perfect evidence that the left is shit.
	And I look at this and go, perfect evidence that the right is shit.
	Or no, I got those backwards, but you know what I'm saying?
	But we're looking at the same pen.
	This is new.
	It used to be the left going, this is just as good.
	Plus, if you make a mistake, you can erase it.
	And then the right going, no, this is good because it's permanent and it lasts forever and it doesn't smudge and it doesn't get bleached in the sun.
	We need this.
	Now, the left and the right are both looking at the same thing and saying it supports their totally different views of the world.
	So someone put out this list of all the horrible things Virginia is doing.
	Cassandra was like, fuck, I love it here in Virginia.
	And it's an email alert from the NAACP.
	More disgraceful activity.
	So let's read these horribly, have we done this yet?
	I don't know.
	No, no, no.
	These horribly disgraceful things that educators are going to be working on in Virginia.
	Scroll down.
	Increases the number of charter schools.
	Are you sure we haven't discussed this?
	Maybe I was talking about it in a bar.
	Bars in this show bleed together in my mind.
	Good.
	That's the only future for education in this country, especially in poor areas, especially for black Americans.
	Our charter schools thrive when kids have no dad, like Ryan.
	So, South Bronx, Harlem, East, New York, bring it on.
	New educational savings account bill that takes funding from public ed.
	Sounds good.
	They're overfunded.
	Limiting the types of master's degrees that would qualify a teacher for a pay increase.
	Absolutely.
	Are you sure we haven't talked about this?
	I talked about this somewhere.
	Yeah, master degrees like fucking intersectionality.
	If you have a degree in the history of rock, if you have a master, or Dr. Jill Biden with her typo-laden, pathetic dissertation about education, where she talks about an eight-week school week and says a quarter of this and half of that and ends up with 137% when she adds up all her portions instead of 100%.
	She shouldn't get a raise, but go back.
	Any bachelor's degree can count towards certifying someone as a teacher.
	Okay, that seems a little weird.
	Verbiage prohibits the teaching of the history of racism and sexism in the United States.
	Now, this is a liberal's take, so we'd have to get more specific, but that sounds good to me.
	I'm sick of hearing about how racist we were.
	And every time I look at my daughter's homework, it's a German shepherd attacking a black guy in Alabama.
	Limits political activities of public employees while wearing clothing that identifies their occupation.
	Yes, please.
	Next page.
	Limits political activities.
	Oh, we just had that.
	Prevents allowing teachers to choose to have their union dues automatically taken from paychecks.
	A union-busting tactic.
	Good.
	The teachers' union is more powerful than any other lobby in America.
	It has more power on both sides.
	It's the most powerful lobby in America.
	Probably 10 times more powerful than the NRA.
	Makes work stoppages or strikes by public employees unlawful.
	Sounds good.
	Creates another layer in the court process for work grievances.
	Fantastic.
	It's almost impossible to fire a teacher.
	Oh, that's a great book, by the way.
	I absolutely demand that you read The Worm in the Apple by Peter Brimelow, where he covers the corruption of these unions.
	It's a fucking masterpiece.
	There it is on the top left.
	Yeah.
	No.
	No, moron.
	Okay, okay, easy, easy.
	How the teachers' unions are destroying American Education.
	That's an old book.
	I think it's from the 90s.
	So it should be called How the Teachers' Unions Destroyed American Education.
	The legislation would gain authority to approve any decisions of the state, blah, blah, blah.
	Eliminates the crime that schools be closed on election day, awesome.
	The one that hurts the most.
	Ready?
	Displaying and teaching related to sexuality forbidden.
	Fan fucking tastic.
	So again, they show that to piss us off and to show us how bad the right has gotten out of control.
	And we look at it and go, finally, someone's doing something right for a change.
	It's an example of how great we are.
	It's like when they made Trump into Darth Vader and they're like, he's basically the dark side.
	And we went, yeah.
	Here's a good one.
	Adopting kids is racist.
	Yes.
	Now, that black woman who adopted a kid and then killed it, that was racist.
	But this isn't.
	Is that a lesbian or a dude next to Elijah?
	Dude.
	Really sweet.
	You know.
	I would pay for that guy's testosterone.
	A couple on TikTok, they have...
	I would pay to have that guy's testosterone.
	White, they adopted a black kid.
	They're teaching their baby to tap dance.
	You know, like, it's just cute.
	Like, maybe they couldn't have it.
	I think a lot of people can't have children.
	They wanted to adopt a child.
	They crossed cultural boundaries.
	Imagine seeing that and thinking it's racist and you're making him shuck and jive and tap dance.
	You'd have to be so obsessed with antiquated views of blacks that to just see a black leg move, you instantly went to like, hello, my baby, hello, my honey.
	What a brain to have.
	They intentionally adopted a black kid.
	I would assume they probably actually just adopted the kid because the kid was cute and they wanted a kid.
	And unfortunately, there are a lot of black kids in the adoption system, right?
	And could have been where they are.
	And you're going, oh, it's so nice.
	That's just so nice.
	Well, black Twitter, you know, Tariq Nasheed, who's a race baiter, is like, white couple gets some tap shoes for their black adopted child.
	Like, is this racism?
	And it was like, oh, who's stupid enough to like buy into this bait?
	You know, well, people are.
	Is tap dancing even predominantly black?
	I'm not from, I know there's Savion like you've never seen on him before, Savion Glover.
	But if you were to look at the top 50 tap dancers of all time, would they be disproportionately black?
	I don't think so.
	I see it as a pretty white thing.
	Isn't it come from Ireland?
	Doesn't it come from like the step dancing shit?
	Oh, yeah.
	The river dance crap.
	Yeah.
	The river dance bullshit.
	I like that kind of thing.
	You want to talk about couples adopted?
	They didn't kill that kid, but the black couple that adopted a white kid, they murdered that child and were told that they did it for a GoFundMe.
	Things like here, like, it should be illegal to adopt black children if you're not black.
	Okay.
	That's not nice.
	By the way, I know, I probably know five or six couples that have adopted kids.
	I think in all cases they were black.
	It's really, really hard outside of a surrogate to get white kids.
	But there's tons and tons of black kids available for adoption.
	So, and I'm talking about all white families.
	In fact, in that list I just gave you, one of them was a white guy and an East Indian woman.
	But otherwise, they're all white, Jewish, white.
	And there's just, you're going to end up with a black kid if you adopt.
	So by coming up with this stupid rule that you can't adopt black kids, you just fucking increase the size of the orphanage, you fucking dicks.
	Like, by the way, liked by thousands of people.
	Yeah.
	Like, thousands.
	Call it like it is, Tariq.
	This user said.
	White supremacist couple abuses black baby.
	This, I shouldn't be doing an accent.
	This baby should go straight back to the orphanage from which it came.
	I don't know where the dog is.
	These are not fake.
	So I went through Twitter and I read through all of these comments and I specifically picked them out.
	They're not fake.
	These people are really upset because they think that this baby tap dancing, and I believe these parents have their own dance company and studio as well, which is why they were teaching their baby to tap dance.
	Why was the baby in the orphanage in the first place?
	Well, that's the question.
	And that's why it says here, this is child abuse.
	Why didn't they adopt a white kid?
	And I mean, the last one was a dog, so I don't know what accent dogs have.
	But this is like Mr. Black X. I mean, these are real things where they're saying, that woman is so fucking hot, it's insane.
	Which one?
	The Asian one?
	No, she's Mexican.
	She's the InfoWars.
	Is she Mexican?
	Yeah, we've met her.
	Oh.
	In Austin.
	She looks super Asian.
	What's her name?
	Adrian Gartinez-Gomez since Gonzalez.
	We've hung out with her before, Maurice.
	Donna J. Gomez?
	Yeah.
	Wait, is her name listed there?
	I think she's no longer at Infowars and she's full-time at the Blaze with Elijah now.
	But I've spoken to her before, and it's very distracting.
	It's like Leah Romini in that Scientology thing where she's like, and you're trying to concentrate on their tax-free status and the real estate scams they do, but your pants just ripped to shreds because your boner came out like a fucking phoenix and smashed into the ceiling fan.
	By the way, speaking of ripping pants, did you know?
	Did you know?
	That umpires have to wear black underwear in case their pants split.
	That's one of the most boring facts I've ever heard.
	Now we have to look up that chick.
	Let's just simp out for just one second.
	Slightly offensive.
	Elijah Schaefer.
	He's got a new co-star now.
	What's her name?
	Fleckis is there.
	What the fuck's her name?
	It's a weird Mexican name.
	Um.
	God damn it.
	What's Elijah Schaefer show called?
	I got wrong.
	I just told you, slightly offensive.
	Maybe I'll look at Blaze.
	Is he still on Blaze?
	Yeah, he blazing up.
	Yeah, he's still blazing, blazing, blazing.
	Um.
	I'm here on the blaze.
	I see the podcast.
	Shit.
	This is not very good.
	Anyway, she's incredibly hot.
	And.
	Yeah, we've covered her before.
	We've covered her before.
	In jizz.
	Oh, just kidding.
	But some women are so attractive, it's distracting.
	It's like really ugly.
	Distractive, they're called.
	Sometimes they'll come into a room, like at a party, and everyone will go, uh.
	And it's just the same as bringing a burn victim to a party.
	I gotta go.
	Everyone becomes awkward.
	Beat off.
	And you know another thing?
	There's a pretty ism with older families where super hot moms, they are vilified in their community because the other housewives see them as potential marriage saboteurs.
	And they also know that their husbands are looking at this gorgeous woman and then looking at their wife and going, Jesus Christ, would it kill you to lose 20 pounds?
	Is her?
	Savannah Hernandez?
	Yes, there we go.
	Savannah Hernandez.
	I think she's a.
	I want to be mean.
	I'm going to be as mean as I can, and I'm going to go down to 8.8.
	That's like basically me throwing shit at her face.
	Be honest, we don't need the audio.
	Yes, we do.
	Turn it up.
	8.8 is ridiculous.
	That's a nine.
	9.1.
	Right?
	I want her to have no ass, just so I can sleep at night.
	I'll look.
	I'll do my best.
	Savannah, if you're there, please send me a picture of your flat ass.
	No, find a picture of a flat ass and then send it to me saying sending nudes and say, find the worst ass you can find.
	It doesn't look good.
	Just a non-ass.
	Actually, I assume you have a boyfriend.
	You're insanely hot.
	Take a picture of your boyfriend's ass with like panties on and then send it to me and go, sending nudes.
	Hope you still want to simp.
	And then I can get on with my life.
	Look, even just like wearing normal stuff.
	Oh, great.
	She's in shape too.
	Turn it up.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, Burning Springs is this cool, big, open area in Austin that everyone goes to when it's hot.
	It's really fun there.
	I'd like to go there with her sometime after my wife dies in a plane crash.
	This was funny.
	So the guy in the trapped is a proud boy.
	Hell yeah.
	Awesome dude.
	And he dared to stray from the hardcore narrative.
	Now, if there's one place you're not allowed to be remotely not left, it's in punk rock and hardcore and power metal or whatever they're called.
	And he dared to do that.
	So I thought this was fascinating because Hard Times News, which is like the onion, but of hard rock and hardcore and punk, they are mocking him, but they're making him look like the fascist.
	Meanwhile, the reason he's being punished by the scene is that he strayed from the narrative.
	So report, trapped holding tryouts for racist with drumming experience.
	So now because this one member of the band doesn't totally conform to everyone else in the scene, then he's a fascist who demands that everyone in the band is the same as him.
	You see what they do there?
	They turn around.
	We need a drummer who...
	You turn around and walk away.
	We need a drummer who stands up to tyranny and advocates for stripping basic human rights from anyone who tries coming into my country illegally.
	We can teach a person to drum.
	We can't teach them to hold the world, to view the world correctly.
	Isn't that meta?
	So they're punishing him for not viewing the world correctly, and then they make him them and pretend that he's torturing all these band members as they torture him and try to cancel him.
	He's had shows.
	That band has had shows canceled.
	He's our boy.
	He's in our music club.
	How dare he think outside the box?
	They are going to punish him.
	Chris Taylor Brown, bro.
	I thought that was interesting.
	You know, it's all about projection when you get really deep on this stuff.
	It's just like those politicians that talk about the homosexuals.
	They're going to shut you down.
	They're going to touch your ass.
	And then we catch him in an airport touching some dude's ass.
	Oh, that's why you care about it so much because you're mad at yourself.
	He made a Proud Boy song.
	Did you know that?
	No, I did not know it.
	It's called Pride, and it's fucking dope.
	Let's hear it.
	Let's see.
	I think I might have it, actually.
	I'll look forward to one of those.
	He put a free download link out somewhere, but I don't think to the.
	All right, so it's not a super public thing.
	All right, here's an amazing thing.
	Companies, despite all of these programs for diversity, are still hiring white people in America.
	America's, depending what you call Hispanics, 64 to 74% white.
	It's 14% black.
	Hispanics fill in the gap.
	They're probably like 25%.
	You can play with all those numbers because Hispanic is all over the map.
	If it's crime, then they're white.
	If it's brain surgeons, then they're Hispanic.
	But of course, you're going to still see companies hiring whites.
	They're the majority of the population.
	In Japan, despite diversity programs, companies are still hiring Japanese people.
	And the funny thing about this is she's pushing for more affirmative action, and she's clearly not qualified.
	Ahizia Garcia Hodges.
	She's hired because she's Hispanic and female.
	So she's an affirmative action hire doing a terrible job.
	Look at her first sentence.
	After last year's killings of Ahmed Arbury, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, many digital and print media outlets pledged to address the discussions about the nation's race relations problems by starting with their own workforces.
	Ahmed Arbury was a thief.
	He was not going on a jog.
	You don't jog in Timberlands 10 miles from your home.
	He was casing the joint, looking for garbage like copper to rob.
	He's a career criminal.
	The end.
	Breonna Taylor was a drug dealer living with her drug dealer boyfriend.
	She was basically their money runner slut.
	And the cops were told to go in there and take care of it.
	Her boyfriend opened fire.
	She was hit in the crossfire.
	George Floyd was a drug addict, another career criminal, just like the other two.
	He overdosed on fentanyl, which like a fucking idiot, he ate as he was getting arrested so he wouldn't get caught.
	He went through his system and he died.
	Doesn't it show a lack of abundance of examples when you could remember all their names?
	Yeah.
	Like I could count all the eight.
	But her intro is like, because black people are getting killed for no reason, society promised to start giving them jobs, but they're not.
	That's her pathetic hypothesis.
	Also, while some companies showed improvements in the hiring of employees of color, at most companies, the majority of new jobs continue to be filled by white people.
	Yeah, I figured.
	In 2020, NBC Universal Newsgroup Chairman Cesar Gandhi announced a goal that the newsgroup staff be made up of 50% women, 50% people of color.
	That's idiotic.
	Why does it...
	Even Jerry Seinfeld talks about this and says, why does every single field have to represent a perfect pizza pie of what the country is?
	Do we start imposing this on sports, on math, on art, on sanitation?
	You got to take the crunchy with the smooth.
	So if you're going to get the cool jobs, then also women have to be 50% of sanitation and sewer work.
	Hey, ladies, can you come down with me to sewers?
	I have to get a king rat out of the fucking clogged sewer pipes.
	Try not to puke.
	The smell of shit is pretty hard to stomach.
	Since its commitment, there have been more hires and promotions of people of color, including the appointment of Rashida Jones as president of MSNBC.
	Wait, who's Rashida Jones again?
	She's the head of MSNBC?
	Rashida Jones?
	Wait, a God.
	Oh, she's an actor.
	She's that chick who's the daughter of...
	She's a half-black, right?
	Yeah, she's the daughter of fucking Quincy Jones.
	Oh, Quincy Jones' locker.
	She's the president of MSNBC?
	Wait, what?
	What?
	That's nuts.
	What is black about Rashida Jones?
	She went to, she had a maid, an au pair, and a nanny following her around since the day she was born.
	She's as white as white can be.
	She looks white.
	Wow, I cannot fucking believe she's the president of MSNBC.
	That's insane.
	Okay, Rashida, we have a board meeting here.
	We're talking about dividends and capital gains, and we're worried about the fourth quarter.
	Do you think that we should be investing in tech as a conglomerate of our own hedge fund?
	Or do you think we should be independently investing as civilians?
	I don't understand.
	I love comedy, though.
	Can we do some improv?
	Newly released data for the news group shows that since this goal was announced, 49.2% of new full-time staff hirers have been people of color.
	50%.
	50% of Americans Are not people of color.
	I just told you the lowest number for whites is 64%.
	So there's disproportionately more people of color than they exist in the population.
	So, of course, you've got to look up the woman that wrote the article, the affirmative action hire.
	That's 4.5.
	And she is Hispanic, but she's a special kind of Hispanic.
	She's married to a dark-skinned black man.
	So they're going to have a Dominican together.
	They're going to make a Cardi B. And it's amazing how often she includes this wedding photo in her Instagram feed.
	Look at her whole feed.
	It's like every seven pictures, she has to remind you that she married an African-American person of color.
	I've got one.
	Who's a nurse?
	There she is.
	Look, wedding.
	There we are together.
	There's the wedding again.
	Oh, look at Ev.
	Look at him.
	Go down.
	Stop on that and click on that.
	So it's one thing to compare first responders to superheroes, but how about when they compare themselves to superheroes?
	On his fucking face is Batman and then one of his co-workers.
	It's like Captain America and Iron Man next to each other.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah, that's what it is.
	I thought it was Batman.
	So it's, yeah, it's Iron Man.
	Thanks again, Ryan, for catching us up on children culture.
	You're welcome.
	It's Iron Man, Captain America, and then him, basically.
	I am a superhero.
	God bless me.
	What a fucking twat.
	The beauty of medicine that includes nurses and doctors is stoicism.
	Look, wedding.
	More wedding.
	More wedding.
	More wedding.
	Did they just meet?
	There's another picture of my wedding.
	There's my wedding.
	I'm married to a black guy.
	Do they have like a weekend wedding, like every weekend?
	Oh, look, that's them with Bill Schultz.
	I married a black guy.
	Here I am on TV.
	Here's my black husband.
	He's fresh princess.
	He's super dope.
	That's like making him tap dance, basically.
	Look, there's our wedding.
	I married a black guy.
	Holy shit.
	You're right.
	All right, we get it.
	Let's try to be better and hire more blacks than they exist in the population.
	Does that help?
	She's probably one of these people who watches BET so much she thinks blacks are 50% of the population.
	And even if they are, we're at 49.2.
	That's pretty good.
	Anyway, black crime is up.
	Media reporting is down.
	Defund the police is not going great.
	And bail reform leads to crime.
	Check out 4.6.
	Philly.
	We told you about the war on Asians in Oakland and how no one wants to go near it.
	And the ones who do blame it on white supremacy, which blows the mind.
	But Philly Day, Larry Kressner plans radical bail reform.
	Enclip from PBS docu series, right?
	That's from April 20th.
	And then we look at how did that work out?
	Oh, shootings are going through the fucking roof.
	Over 2,300 people have been shot in Philadelphia over the last year.
	A 58% increase over the same time period last year.
	Good work.
	Let's check out a shoot-up of 4-7.
	Oh yeah, remember this?
	They shot up a family center.
	People were breaking windows.
	There's no video there?
	Not from what I see.
	Criminals from Philly shot up a family fun center.
	People were breaking windows to get their children out.
	Scroll down.
	The footage was everywhere.
	Some guy was smashing the windows of the place.
	Just have to look it up.
	He was smashing the windows of the place and throwing his kids out the window so they wouldn't get shot.
	And then eventually, once all his kids were outside, he could climb through the broken glass and pick them up off the broken glassy grass.
	My word.
	So Philly Family Fun Center shoot up.
	Family Fun Center.
	There's pictures.
	14-year-old gun down.
	Oh.
	This is probably.
	You know this wouldn't be removed if it was white people shooting up a family fun center.
	Okay.
	I'm getting annoyed here.
	Is this something we have to see on Reddit?
	I guess.
	It's a little more not safe for work.
	Maybe this is all part of the censorship.
	Okay, 4-8.
	The left gets free speech for free.
	Chaz squatter rewarded.
	So you can shoot up a family fund center if you're black.
	The media will avoid it.
	And this woman, Seattle settles a lawsuit with far-left activists who said her free speech was violated when the city cleaned the second iteration of an autonomous zone at Callie Innocent Park.
	The city will pay her $10,000.
	So they had Chaz.
	They had Chop.
	People were killed by their local security force.
	And then they said, we're going to do it again.
	The city said, stop doing this.
	Stop squatting this park.
	People are dying.
	And they said, fuck you.
	We're suing.
	And it worked.
	Like, the one thing you have to understand about the city, too, with these cases, the jury tends to be so biased against them, especially when it's something lefty like this, that it's better off to settle for 10K because if it goes to trial, they could lose $5 million.
	Same with NYPD and cases.
	You'll hear about the NYPD settling for some black dude who got roughed up for being an asshole, and you'll hear about his family getting $10 million.
	The city's often doing that because they know the black jury will award him $250 million just as a fuck you.
	So I'm defending the city in a city that hates cops.
	Speaking of Antifa, look at this person's arms.
	It's worth it.
	The biggest joke in the country right now is all these commies with three-inch biceps believing they're part of the proletariat.
	This will never not be funny to me.
	Look at him.
	He's going to work on a field all day with his pitchfork, bailing Hay.
	He's going to be the guy.
	He's going to be drywalling the various government buildings.
	He'll be lifting in the plywood.
	He's got a strong head.
	I bet his hands feel like the inside of a vagina.
	Something they will never touch.
	Post-op hard frozen gummy worms.
	Speaking, that's not a vagina.
	That's a hole in a man's crotch.
	Look at this joke of a person.
	So this is what Portland, Seattle, Tacoma is up against.
	This is their enemies.
	This is the people telling you that the Pacific Northwest is full of violent cops.
	It's your brother trying to make you laugh at a party.
	Invocation of the just like severely bloated police department by private property, like to guard trash that could feed people.
	It's just a weird, that's so weird.
	It's just unconscious.
	So they're mad.
	They were dumpster diving and they were mad that the police were preventing them from getting the food from the garbage to give to the hungry.
	Feeding people is a big deal.
	That's why we have, what is it?
	Everyone makes fun of me for not knowing.
	OSIS.
	Ocean.
	OSHA.
	OSHA sounds like a thing.
	Yeah, that's why we have people monitoring food because we don't want people to get poisoned and die.
	So there has to be standards with food.
	I know you like the concept, and so did I when I was 10.
	Hey, why is all that stuff in the garbage?
	A homeless man could eat that.
	Yeah, it could also be in the garbage because they spilled bleach on it.
	There's a million reasons why we can't take food from the garbage to feed people.
	It's not regulated.
	We don't know what it is.
	Maybe all the food was put in there because someone spilled LSD all over it.
	We don't know.
	That's why it's in the garbage.
	That's why you don't pick up a couch from the side of the road.
	It's a perfectly good couch.
	Yeah, it has bed bugs.
	Someone with body lice slept there.
	Don't even walk near it.
	Don't go near mattresses on the side of the road.
	Don't pick up a pillow or a chair off the side of the road.
	There's a reason it's in the garbage.
	How can you not know that?
	This is normal adult stuff.
	I understand little kids see a perfectly good donut and they want to give it to the homeless man, but real life doesn't work like that.
	Go ahead.
	Yeah.
	But to me, right, like this is, it falls in line with what the police do now in Portland, which is like anytime somebody who's reasonably frustrated about the state of things breaks a window or like around the ICE building,
	the ICE rental property in South Portland on inauguration night where they unleashed probably close to a kilogram of active CS agent in a neighborhood right next to an elementary school and stuff.
	That was all in response to somebody spray painting plywood on the outside of a building.
	Not spray painting the building, spray painting plywood on the building.
	Just for the record there, Yvonne, we've seen you on video at the Seattle ICE Place and you prevent them from doing their job.
	You block the trucks.
	You attack people.
	So it's not a matter of that they wouldn't have unleashed a kilogram of pepper spray for some graffiti.
	You guys have been attacking the police and ICE agents relentlessly for years, screaming at them, attacking their vehicles.
	We had a mass shooting prevented by that old dude, William Thorpe Van Thorpe, whatever his name was.
	He was there.
	Von Sponson.
	Von Spronsen.
	He was there to kill people.
	He had a propane tank ready to blow up.
	He had rounds and rounds of ammunition.
	That's the reality.
	It's not someone marking up a piece of plywood and wanting to take a donut out of the garbage, you fucking liar.
	Freak.
	Fag.
	To somebody spray painting plywood on the outside of a building.
	Not spray painting the building, spray painting plywood on the building, right?
	And so the police state, certainly in Portland, but broader than this, like obviously we know values property over people.
	And in this case...
	This guy is ugly on the outside and the inside.
	He's so annoying.
	His little gestures?
	Yeah, he's mimicking a certain woman, like a specific woman you've seen.
	And I want to punch you for being a weird burlap sack full of mixed up personalities.
	Watch this little bit of Silverman.
	There's some Silverman in there.
	He's got some Sarah Silverman in there.
	He's also got Cliff from Cheers in there.
	It doesn't matter that it was a dumpster.
	It doesn't matter that it was food.
	Food.
	It doesn't matter that people are hungry.
	It doesn't matter that people that are hungry could be fed by their salaries that they're taking to come and guard this property.
	All that mattered to them was a private company quote unquote concerned about the safety of their employees.
	I'm sure the homeless people are dying for your rotten yams and your containers of paprika.
	Okay, so Seattle Police sound like a nightmare, according to that creature, Evelyn.
	Let's see them.
	Let's see them in action.
	See you.
	Let me see these horrible shit-stained police ruining the world.
	What are we doing?
	Oh, yeah.
	So there's a guy in the top.
	You see him there by the hedges?
	He's about to walk over to a car with women in it and shoot them both.
	I don't know if he killed them.
	What does the write-up say?
	Does it say they're dead?
	Man shoots two women.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	So we don't know if they lived.
	So this guy is not subtle.
	It's probably his ex-girlfriend in the car and her daughter or something.
	Fuck you, bitches.
	Pow, pow, pow.
	Shoots them.
	Oh, turn it up.
	I heard the 911 call.
	She's talking about how she's been shot in the face and she's going to die.
	So it sounds like.
	I can't even get my shot.
	Do you know like across street or where you're at?
	No, I don't know where I am.
	My friend is dying.
	Don't you guys have like tracking software?
	Right.
	I hate when they're saying, what's your address?
	Doesn't it appear on your thing?
	It should.
	As a taxpayer, I want that feature.
	I'll pay for it.
	I wonder if that's a technique to keep them conscious.
	Like, they keep asking annoying questions.
	You're like, it doesn't matter.
	I just told you.
	Come here.
	And they keep asking you.
	Oh, yeah, that might be it.
	And they're calm.
	Because they don't know where they are, and he managed to find them.
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	Does this keep freezing?
	I think maybe it's to keep them.
	My friend is dying.
	She got shot in the face.
	Please come.
	Please come.
	I'm getting the medics on the line.
	One moment.
	And they're always calm.
	She's dying.
	She's dying.
	I understand.
	I heard you.
	I heard you.
	Please come.
	Maybe put them at ease.
	Seattle fire and medic one.
	We just got shot like three times.
	Please send paramedics.
	Where are you at?
	Hey, fire, this is radio.
	I've got a rapid SOS location of 2300 South Massachusetts.
	Oh, you're right.
	So they got the location on their own.
	So he wants to die now.
	Let's see these pigs.
	All cops are bastards.
	They should last sue him.
	All he did was shoot two chicks.
	So he comes around the corner.
	Maybe they should non-fatally shoot, like in the knee.
	They should karate chop the bullets as he shoots them.
	Yeah, of course.
	Or deke them out like the guy in the Matrix.
	Of course.
	Drop the gun now.
	I want the gun.
	Gave him.
	Look at that.
	Two warnings.
	Drop the gun now.
	Drop the gun.
	Suspect down.
	This is the Seattle police that that freak was just pitching into.
	Watch his right arm.
	Drop the gun now.
	Drop the gun.
	Drop the gun.
	He clearly wants to die.
	This is called Death by Cop.
	And up it comes.
	Yeah, well, that's a no-no.
	We just wanted to go to the dumpster and feed people.
	This is stuff that's in the garbage.
	Never mind.
	Their salaries could be helping people.
	If they had stayed home, then they could feed homeless people.
	And what do they do all day anyway?
	Besides protect society from some guy who just shot and possibly killed two women and was about to shoot cops.
	Besides that, though, what do they do all day?
	Fucking pigs.
	They just delete what I just saw.
	There was an Andy No thing on this Juniper.
	Oh my God, Juniper L. Simmons.
	I mean, you could disagree with its politics, but it's pretty hot.
	Like, I hate when they have a hot chick that, like, you just don't agree with.
	Who's attracted to Juniper?
	I wish you were on my side because you're just like.
	I like wife material.
	Who fucks Juniper?
	I don't get it.
	There we go.
	Wait, that's Juniper too?
	Sure is?
	No, that's not who we just saw with a mustache.
	Juniper Simonis repeatedly screamed about this Juniper Simonis.
	Wait, go to the other picture?
	That's the guy with the mustache?
	Oh, maybe.
	What an absolute freak.
	Mental patient.
	Go up.
	I needed to confirm this.
	No, down to the...
	I got his...
	This is his Twitter page.
	So you got the Frecklebody.
	You got the things.
	These are the pictures that he uploaded.
	So he's got a lot of variety.
	Of course, a child.
	Yeah, that's his favorite.
	That's what he thinks about it.
	Yeah, that's why he does that smile thing.
	Oh, he loves Felon.
	Felon's an ally.
	Oh, God.
	I just, I'm so tired.
	Dr. Juniper L. Simonis makes me exhausted.
	I really feel like I need to lie down.
	Yep.
	Just trying to figure out his polluted mind.
	All right, let's hit the mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Excuse me, Gabby Hines.
	Will you take a look at this shit?
	Amazing.
	JLP style.
	P.S. Tell the gook faggot he need to get an adult haircut instead of that murder-raped poodle.
	Puddle is rocking now.
	And I love you both more to fuck your friend with my heels on.
	Essay in the U.S. America.
	Sincerely, Deskende Hooligan.
	Alright?
	Reparations for slavery could have reduced COVID-19 transmission and deaths in the U.S. Harvard study says.
	I mean, we're at the point now where if your kid gets into Harvard, no one's impressed.
	Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine went to fucking Harvard.
	I think he took like playing in a hard rock band.
	My name was Giannis before the basketball player.
	But now COVID-19 stimulus checks and the COVID vaccines are talked about just as passionately.
	I really don't trust it because it actually came kind of fast.
	Barbara Giannis Willis feels strongly that the development of COVID-19 comes with serious side effects.
	People that take it, they had bell palsy.
	Outside the shop, James Harris had other concerns.
	That was like QAnon.
	I know the doctor took it and killed him.
	And his nurse had no legal he can kill her.
	While the CDC and FDA are looking into those and similar claims around the country, Harrison Willis believes underscore a serious concern for Fulton County Health Director.
	I love how they baby them.
	Like, they don't, you know, if that was rednecks, you imagine the mockery that would be going on.
	Retarded rednecks are scared Of science.
	Believe the science, right?
	In this article, they go, if only they had had reparations.
	Right.
	What?
	Where does that come in?
	We didn't do enough.
	Oathkeepers, Proud Boys, QAnon, and Fifa, BLM stormed the Capitol.
	Were there any white supremacists?
	Biden administration looks to FEMA to help combat domestic terrorism.
	Yeah.
	How many people who stormed the Capitol believe that Jews are trying to destroy America?
	Blacks should go back to Africa?
	I think there were some.
	But I think, how many stormed the Capitol?
	There was like 261 arrests.
	I'm going to say four of them you could call white supremacists.
	Not a thing.
	And let's say they all got together.
	What could they do?
	What are they going to do?
	Just believe something hard?
	Yeah, go and be racist privately?
	Hurt people's feelings?
	Gav, please take a buzzer and shave a chunk of Ryan's hair.
	He touches it like a nine-year-old girl.
	If you buzz a chunk out, this will help him be a man greatly.
	Please help him and us.
	I want to punch his face every time he adjusts his bangs.
	He's a fag.
	Okay, this is about a 5,000-word email.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan, as soon as Ryan started talking about dinosaurs' existence yesterday, I checked the comments, and sure enough, there are a number of comments about how Ryan must be listening to Owen Benjamin.
	Owen has been...
	He makes no secrets about that.
	I don't listen to him.
	Owen has been.
	Yes, you do.
	No, I don't.
	I haven't listened to him in a long-ass motherfucking time.
	I don't even know where he is.
	He used to be on YouTube.
	He used to have fun live streams.
	That was last year.
	Owen has been on a current rant about the existence of dinosaurs, which adds to his theories on flat Earth, Antarctica, space exploration, Helen Keller, etc.
	Be careful, Ryan.
	Don't let Owen MK ultra you into being his tech guy, which, funny enough, Owen says he can mind control people.
	He talks about it in this clip.
	All right.
	That's me going to the museum caused that.
	Because they were like right there.
	Like, just right in front.
	I was like, huh.
	I guess I believe that, huh?
	Hey, Gavin, an Atlas of the Fag Globe.
	Gavin, when I see you use your computer, it makes me want to throw a puppy into a wall.
	You were such a boomer, it makes me want to puke.
	Ryan Shreds on guitar, spelled wrong.
	Thank you.
	I'm sure my grandmother, who is dead, could break your other rib.
	Don't ever shave your beard, Gav.
	I still cannot see what you did.
	Like you both more than a friend.
	Thank you for that constructive criticism.
	Hey, Gav and Rye just discovered this song and band from 1977.
	Is it the Sex Pistols?
	Oh, the Rosillos?
	It's a cool cover.
	They would never do that, right?
	If you want to hear the Rosillos, their greatest hit is Somebody's Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight.
	Dig up that jam.
	We're gonna rip out the cheese, tear down the walls, smash up the joint and really have a ball.
	This is the jam, my friend.
	Stop telling me about music.
	Great band.
	Thank you for turning me on to one of my favorite bands.
	Gay Boys, why is no one talking about the fact that Joe Biden has obviously had plastic surgery?
	His wrinkles at the edge of his eyes slant up at a 45-degree angle, right to where a nip tuck for a facelift is done.
	Trump was pilloried for the possibility of fake hair, but Biden's face is strung up.
	Just more media ignoring anything embarrassing for the old fellow.
	Oh yeah, he does have that.
	Oh shit.
	That looks so weird.
	Look at that.
	He's had a neck tuck, too.
	Right.
	Man, he stinks.
	Well, it worked.
	It's hard, like, shitting on an old man, but when you look at him when he was younger, he was just a prick.
	So it's just easy.
	Well, look up George W. Bush gaths.
	G-A-F-F-E.
	Because I go, we've been through this before.
	I remember cringing when George W. Bush would open his mouth.
	But I watched a montage recently, and I go, yeah, you forgot a lot of the colloquialisms, but you're speaking English, and you know where you are.
	You're actually kind of charming in a Texas way.
	In retrospect, I wound up liking him a lot, even when I was still considered liberal.
	We've only got five George Bushcuffs.
	Who's up for another five?
	Ah, why not?
	Our enemies are innovative and resourceful.
	True.
	And so are we.
	Well, they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people.
	True.
	And neither do we.
	Very true.
	Boom me once.
	My favorite.
	Shame on.
	Shame on you.
	It fooled me.
	We can't get fooled again.
	You're gonna answer that question with shades on?
	Yeah.
	Lose the white stick and the dog too.
	The guy is blind, George.
	Oh, yes.
	This shows the world is unbecoming.
	The race thickest pigment.
	We must stop the terror.
	I call upon all nations.
	To stop the terror killer.
	Watch this drive.
	Dee, that's not that's cool.
	Yeah.
	Come on, George.
	Think.
	You know, I just uh I'm sure something will pop into my head here in Mrs. Prescott's all the pressure of trying to come up with an answer, but it hadn't yet.
	Dishonest.
	Moments later, something did pop into George's head.
	It was a human brain.
	Unfortunately, it didn't take, and his head rejected it.
	Shut up, British people.
	Okay, last letter.
	Hey, Gavin, Detective Shitty, how does one get their motherfucking call answered when we call on the show on Wednesday nights?
	Does the call queue begin way before you all start taking calls?
	Is my call getting screened out?
	Did you get a shit ton and only answer like eight tops?
	I asked because I've tried to call in the Past three Wednesdays and have waited for three goddamn hours now.
	Listening to the show over the phone is like a fucking plebe.
	The time I spent listening to other retards get their calls answered is pretty far from enjoyable, and I'd be hard-pressed to remember what I am even calling about after hearing those mouth breathers ramble on about nothing.
	I subscribe to hear two retards per show, not 12.
	At ease, Soldier.
	Yeah, what should we do about that?
	You know, there's a couple of different ways.
	I've been thinking about it, right?
	So the screener allows us to see what the caller's calling about.
	We do a first-come, first-serve system.
	And that doesn't exactly mean that the first people sitting there waiting for the longest mean that they have the best calls.
	And we don't go through them very fast.
	So, I mean, if we were to look at the screen and you could look at the screen and you could determine what topic you'd like to pick.
	You know, like you said.
	No, we could do a special Wednesday, though, where I only talk to people for 10 seconds and they get their point and then we bash it out and we don't get deep.
	We're just like, no, that didn't happen.
	Yes, that did happen and it sucked.
	I think we always say that we're going to do it, but it's hard, you know?
	Well, it doesn't make for a great show.
	The reason that I go off at tangents and we investigate something is because I think people get, I've heard a lot of people get frustrated by the callers and say, why are they dominating the show?
	That's not what I signed up for.
	All right, let's do the final video.
	Shut up.
	Can I just do the final video?
	When to call in.
	So we go in the show with the runaway.
	Fighting is about experience for the most part.
	You can train, you can be tough, you can be strong, but it's hard to beat an Armenian in slides who's been fighting since he was a baby for his life.
	And now he's here in New York, and you want to fuck with him and take his shit.
	It's not going to happen.
	He's going to lock the door, and he's going to tune you up if you mess with him.
	He doesn't look very intimidating, but you don't know how many fights someone's been in.
	Before you fight someone, you should say, how many fights have you been in?
	And if it's in the thousands, I don't care what he looks like.
	Get out of there.
	So this guy got caught.
	Turn it up.
	He got caught.
	And now he's trying to intimidate me.
	I'm about to kick your ass.
	You're going to let me out of here.
	He ain't going to let him out.
	Not letting you out, buddy.
	No way, Jose.
	And then they're all like, let him out, yo.
	Let him out.
	He's got to get out.
	He got caught stealing numbskulls.
	Now he's being all intimidating.
	And you've got to create space.
	So then he throws the first left.
	No, well, right.
	And wham, wham.
	So this guy's compressed.
	And he's holding him by his dreads.
	That's the only thing that may give me consider, I'd consider getting a haircut maybe for a fight.
	And then he finally opens for the cops.
	Look, the cops are doing nothing.
	Well, he's got it handled.
	No, he's got a taser, but he's not releasing it, so Mr. Sox there has to take care of business.
	Just like he used to do in his little village of Machanach.
	Look, they're all like, haha.
	It's all a big game to them.
	But now the ladies take him out.
	So his lips all split up, his nose is bleeding.
	She's fat.
	Hey, cop, what are you doing?
	Are you the referee?
	Yeah, the Armenian guy's still the one taking care of business.
	He's a brawler, that guy.
	Look at her gunt.
	She's got a shirt that reveals her weird butt belly.
	Butt belly, yes.
	That is a butt belly.
	She's so proud of it.
	Sit down.
	Oh, that's the black guy was not worried about it because he had the white guy outside.
	Oh, I see.
	Look, he's wandering around.
	He's got his girl.
	Yeah, I'm going home.
	Covered in blood now.
	Some moral there, folks.
	Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Oh, if I could get my horns on that big bum pod pump pump down these torn souls, room meets the stump boom boom.

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