Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #86 | GET FIRED (Part 1)

Feb. 20, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

30:25

GOML LIVE #86 | GET FIRED (Part 1)

Don't run into the wood chipper and sabotage your life just to "get fired" but don't live a lie and be someone else just to maintain some shitty job you hate. RIP Rush Limbaugh and God Bless Tucker Carlson.

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	And that's called Street Pulse Beat and a new album.
	Really a weird band, but really good.
	I guess you'd call them bunk.
	Let me go out of there.
	Love, look at my fucking hair.
	If I don't spend, if I don't have a shower and spend like an hour fixing it up, then it's a huge fucking mess.
	I think I've had enough of this shit.
	I thought I would be wild man forest guy for like as a new look.
	You know, I've changed.
	I'm not a proud boy anymore.
	I don't really talk about politics as much now that Trump is gone and we just have a retard in the White House who's not even there.
	I think Kamala Harris was answering all his questions yesterday.
	I don't like the butt chicken.
	So politics isn't this one anymore, and this mess is just...
	I mean, look at him.
	He's pimping.
	He's pimping.
	Where's the haircut helmet you were talking about yesterday?
	Oh yeah, it's uh so you put this on and it it trims you right up.
	I named it the haircutron.
	I've seen this before.
	It has vacuums and then the vacuums have little scissors in it.
	Yeah and you have to dump it out later.
	If this pulls my hair, I hate one of two of my least favorite things are having my hair pulled and any kind of electrical shock.
	You could beat me up for an hour.
	But if this starts pulling my hair, I'm going to pull your hair.
	It is a disaster.
	No, it shouldn't do that.
	This is the third generation.
	So they fix a lot of the bugs.
	Okay.
	So Ryan Rivera claims that this stupid thing he got in Japan, which looks tiny for my big head and my head's not that big, will cut my hair.
	And you should zoom in so people can see it operate.
	This will cut my hair and my beard and groom me in a matter of seconds.
	Surely there has to be touch-ups after that where you have to fix parts.
	No?
	What are you doing?
	Zooming you.
	No, no, zoom with manual zoom.
	So it's sharp.
	All right.
	You ready?
	I can feel it on the beard.
	Do I have two of this?
	By the way, notice how non-wrinkly my eyes are.
	And this you stuff up in it.
	Okay, you're not doing a very good job here, Ryan.
	i don't want to move this because it's getting it back in place just kind of what do i do here Okay, so I switch it on at the back.
	Oh, you hear that?
	There's the wind.
	Whoa.
	It feels like little spiders.
	Holy shit.
	Oh my god, this is the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced.
	Okay, zoom out.
	Zoom out.
	Ow, ow, ow!
	Oh, it's ripping my fucking hair out.
	Ow!
	Ow!
	You alright, dude?
	Ow, Jesus!
	Are you a fuck?
	Hold on one second.
	Let me get the camera out of here.
	No, no, no.
	That's really bad.
	My hair is still tangled in the fans.
	I don't know if you're supposed to take it off yet.
	I'm scared I'm going to rip my hair out.
	I think my hair is tangled in the fans like a washcloth in a garbage disposal.
	Ah, ah.
	Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
	Ow, ow, ow, ow.
	You're the grape lady now.
	Wow.
	Whoa.
	It works.
	Whoa.
	What is this with the line?
	Well, it's a setting.
	Well, why did you set it to that?
	That looks absurd.
	You said it's a modern.
	That's like German mall goth.
	There's modern.
	Dude, that line is insane.
	You look like a Mexican gangbanger.
	Yeah, that's not a good look.
	There was three settings I didn't know.
	Otherwise, I don't really hate it.
	I thought there'd be bald patches.
	No, it does the beard, does the...
	It does everything.
	How long was that?
	Like seconds.
	15 seconds, maybe?
	You got to hand it to Japan.
	Pretty cool.
	That's so good.
	Pretty cool.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	That's going to take over.
	You don't have to wait in a baba chair.
	Man, I look gorgeous, by the way.
	There's nothing wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with being gorgeous.
	Put my dad out of business, that thing.
	Yeah.
	Your dad's going to be pissed.
	I mean, I thought he was the only hair-cutting Japanese robot on the market.
	Let me explain Ryan's joke.
	Ryan's biological father, Katsu, has no feelings.
	So that's why he's calling him a robot.
	He was able to abandon his child, leave him to the wolves.
	Aka Puerto Ricans.
	I'm like Mowgli.
	And he was raised by Puerto Ricans.
	That's right.
	Like a wolf boy.
	What do you guys eat?
	Just beans and rice and shit.
	Beans and rice.
	Is there even such thing as a Puerto Rican restaurant?
	Oh, dude, there's good shit.
	There's like fried yucca.
	There's Mofungo is Dominican.
	Funche, Bianda, Bacalaufrito.
	What's Baca Laufrito?
	It's fried Fritos, deep fried.
	Oh, it's so good.
	Oh, it's so good.
	So good.
	Oh, God, it's so good.
	Oh, my God.
	It's good.
	Baca Al Frito.
	Baka Al Frito.
	A bucket of El Fritos.
	I know Gary likes a big bucket of Fritos.
	Are there Puerto Rican restaurants?
	Yep.
	Sure are.
	Name one.
	Well, it's probably like a Puerto Rican restaurant in New York.
	There's Minas.
	Minas is pretty good.
	Oh, Pernil is pork.
	That's what it means.
	It's a type of pork with their sofrito, which is a bunch of spices.
	Sofrito, so fucking what?
	More like.
	Hey.
	Very nice.
	Puerto Rico.
	I think there's a ton of English restaurants, Scottish restaurants, although McDonald's is a successful chain.
	Or Canadian restaurants.
	There is Mile End, the Montreal restaurant that serves Montreal bagels and putin.
	So what's that?
	They got food down.
	That looks fucking gross, dude.
	Yeah, right.
	A bunch of rice and beans, and then it's like a cow's dick.
	There's no cow's dick.
	That's just like random pieces of butcher meat that no one else wants.
	Plantains?
	They love plantains.
	The fry's a banana.
	Gross.
	This looks like...
	Look at that.
	Look at that pile of food.
	It's a little salad.
	No, it's not.
	It's a pile of food.
	All food sucks outside of the West.
	And I'm not, Puerto Rican's not Western.
	Sorry, folks.
	Paste.
	It's like Israel and the Middle East.
	Oh, wait till you try the food.
	I don't know why I'm being Mexican for that.
	Oh, you have to try the food in Israel.
	It's so good.
	Have you tried the red thing?
	Yeah, it's cut up tomatoes.
	Why everyone calls it the red thing or the red sauce?
	And then you just dip your shit into it with your pita bread.
	It's exactly like you woke up at four in the morning and you're having leftovers.
	And then I look at everyone else's food and it's fucking broth or Mexican food.
	Oh, you don't like illegal aliens, huh?
	Okay, say goodbye to tacos.
	Bye, tacos.
	Nice meeting you.
	You're a you know, ever heard of someone called half a fag?
	It's half a sandwich.
	And you eat it, you're eating, it's falling everywhere.
	Look at this pile of shit.
	Someone put some dead pig and a banana and came on it.
	It's dope.
	I don't want that with some fucking miscarriage on the top, an octopus miscarriage.
	No, thanks.
	It's good.
	No, it's not.
	It's a fucking jizz pork banana.
	Not interested.
	I don't even know how to eat that.
	I don't know.
	I guess I just have to match it up in a blender and drink it.
	How did you know that?
	What's this pile of food?
	How'd you know the name of it, though?
	It's a pile of egg, pile of potatoes, and then some shit on some stuff.
	Shit on a cheeseburger.
	You could hand someone, if they're running the New York Marathon, you can go, hey, I know you're kind of hungry.
	Try this.
	And be like, thanks, dude.
	Have like four good bites, throw it away.
	Hot dog.
	Try handing a marathon runner a taco or this bullshit.
	What is this?
	Fucking weird, dumb potato bun with shavings of bullshit.
	And again, more come.
	Nobody wants that.
	It does kind of look like Star Wars food.
	Hey, world.
	No one likes your food.
	Oh, come on, man.
	Chinese food.
	Chinese food that you and I eat is heavily Americanized Chinese food.
	Go to China if you want to eat Chinese food.
	And I hope you love millipedes.
	I hope you love a turtle sitting in hot water with nothing else to it.
	It's not broken up and deep-fried.
	A burger?
	A hot turtle.
	A dead hot turtle.
	Want a dead hot turtle in dead hot turtle water?
	Go to China.
	Want fucking live baby mice.
	You know what they call it?
	Two squeaks.
	One squeak as I pick it up with my chopsticks, which are retarded.
	Your cutlery is two pens.
	That's pathetic.
	You know what my cutlery is?
	Oh my God.
	I have a spoon for scooping up stuff.
	I have a fork for poking stuff.
	And I have a knife for cutting stuff.
	Perfect combo.
	I don't even use a spoon.
	I'm not a soup guy.
	So I just need to.
	You have sticks.
	Are you a fucking caveman?
	Look at that.
	You stick your sticks into a fucking grasshopper.
	What are you at?
	Apple?
	Sticks?
	When did we graduate from sticks?
	I'm going to be generous and say a thousand years ago.
	No, play them playing their sticks.
	This is an Aboriginal musical instrument.
	And it's not that different from chopsticks.
	And meanwhile, China's 40,000 years old.
	You've had 40,000 years to beat me.
	And I fuckin' creamed you with my super fork.
	Look, she sneezes.
	He laughs, thinking she's laughing.
	Then she laughs because he laughed.
	They're drunk.
	That's not an instrument.
	That's barely two sticks.
	Even within the stick community, those are shit.
	It's not a song.
	You're mumbling.
	You know how they cook their food?
	They like to do this.
	It's a traditional way, the Aboriginal, Australian Aboriginal way to cook food.
	You take, oh, we should probably print out our sponsors at some point.
	I've been on this xenophobic rant now for 15 minutes.
	They smoke out iguanas or lizards or whatever's down there by lighting a brush fire.
	The lizards come out, and then they get into an elaborate process called throwing the lizard in a fire.
	That's it.
	Not even a spit roast.
	Just throw the lizard in the fire.
	So, yes, the lizard burns to death, burns alive.
	Its outer skin is charred.
	And then I guess the inner skin isn't too bad if you get it out in time.
	But like, that's cave shit.
	Sorry.
	And again, I'm shitting on everyone equally.
	If you think this is racist, I would like to emphasize how disgusting all of Eastern Europe is.
	Fucking Romania.
	Home of the gypsies.
	Oh my God, Romania.
	What a fucking hellhole.
	Homeless people with tumors dancing and laughing on the street as they slip at each other's vomit.
	I don't even think there's such a thing as Romanian food, is there?
	It's gypsy food.
	Yeah, gypsy food.
	Goula.
	Whatever I stole off the back of a truck.
	Goulash?
	Looks like whoever ordered that got gypped.
	What is gypsy food?
	That's just like it's just a bunch of other food stolen from other people.
	Look up Romanian cuisine.
	I bet it's nothing.
	I bet it's just an empty plate with some snow on it.
	They always look the same, don't they?
	Oh, some broth.
	You know, in Scotland, where I'm from, we were so impoverished and we had such little arable land that we'd literally have a pot in our fucking mud hut, and you just throw in like a goat eye and some bread or what, no, bread, if you wish.
	You just throw garbage in there and it would just be bubbling in.
	When you're hungry, you just grab a spoon and eat out of the pile of garbage.
	So, can you fix the monitor?
	So you could have a goat eye, ostensibly, you could have a goatee pop into your mouth that was 40 years old.
	And I heard of some pathetic Southeast Asian countries that had the same thing.
	And they have some restaurant that's still going, and it's had the same broth for something like 40, 50 years.
	So that crazy, disgusting scenario I just brought up in Scotland also happens in Southeast Asia, which is unforgivable over there because they couldn't possibly have more arable land than Southeast Asia.
	Jesus Christ.
	I bet if you took a shit in Cambodia and came back the next day, there'd be a bamboo tree there saying thanks.
	This scary pot of soup has been cooking for 45 years.
	Call me old-fashioned.
	That's fucking gross.
	So this is why I'm a Western chauvinist.
	The West is the best.
	It's not racist because there's plenty.
	Hey, other countries.
	You literally make me dry heap.
	Welcome to stupidest name in the world.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	Let's go back.
	What if you ever get your New York taxi license?
	How am I going to fit that on your ID?
	Your first name is Natapong, which is basically the Mike of Cambodia.
	And your second name is Kaowien Utawang.
	Natapong Kawinudawong.
	That's a shitty name.
	Natapong Kawinutawong.
	I met a guy in Egypt, from Egypt, I should say, who told me that they do this thing that idiots here in America are just trying out now with hyphenated names.
	So Gavin McInnes marries Ryan Rivera.
	His kids are Julie McInnis Rivera.
	That's pretty dumb, but okay.
	I guess we won't give her a middle name.
	Then she gets married to a guy who has a hyphenated name.
	Now that kid has four names.
	Well, now you're just listing off names of your fucking parents when we meet, which is gay.
	But in Egypt, that's what they do.
	And so you'll have an ID form, like you'll be filling out an application, and the name will go across the top down the side of the paper because you have 140 last names.
	Everywhere else sucks.
	Europe, parts of South America, not Central America, it sucks.
	North America, obviously Britain, Australia.
	And then there's some scatterings of Africa, like where's the place where they still speak Aramaic or whatever Jesus' language is?
	Is that Armenia or Albania or something?
	They're included.
	I would actually, I'm starting to think Japan, the paragon of the East, is more Western than many Western countries.
	We may just have to include Japan in the West.
	Hitler did.
	Hitler showed.
	He did.
	He was like, they're Aryans.
	Well, if you do what Hitler does, then you're a Nazi.
	Yeah.
	I can't believe toilet paper.
	How have we forgiven Japan?
	I don't get it.
	And Germany.
	Because it was fucking half a century ago.
	What do you want us to do?
	We haven't forgiven slavery.
	We had war tribunals.
	We had them all killed.
	We didn't forgive slavery, and that happened longer than that ago.
	Yeah, good point.
	It's weird.
	It was 400 years ago.
	You know what I saw in the paper today, by the way?
	You know who we're really pissed at right now, speaking of slavery?
	Who dat?
	You ready for the biggest dick ever?
	Who's super antiquated?
	Oh my God.
	Is there anyone more out of touch than William Shakespeare?
	I'm not joking.
	I didn't see that coming.
	An increasing number of woke teachers, and thank God woke has finally become an insult, are refusing to include the bard in their curricula, claiming his classic works promote misogyny, racism, homophobia.
	They promote it.
	Classism, anti-Semitism, and well, they write misogynoir.
	Misogyny noir?
	Is that a typo?
	Type in misogyny noir.
	So it's M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-O-I-R.
	Misogynoir.
	That's like misogyny, but it's like a fancy art film.
	Wait, what is misogynoir?
	Is it like black and white misogynist?
	The specific hatred, dislike, distrust, and prejudice toward black woman.
	I fucking knew it.
	I've never heard this before.
	Me neither.
	So is it, are you a misogynoirist if you make fun of Tessica for putting gorilla glue in her hair?
	Of course.
	Misogenoire.
	Sounds faint like.
	Misogenoire.
	Sounds like somebody likes opera a lot.
	I'm a misagenoir myself when it comes to opera.
	I'm a misogynoire.
	What a fucking retarded word.
	Don't make bad stuff.
	Wait, we learned a lot of stuff on this show live on the air.
	Speaking of live on the air, today's book is Unmasked by Andy No.
	It's a great book, but I have a problem with these kind of books when they're so on the nose.
	Like, I want every liberal in America to read this.
	I want everyone, all these boomer-angry women liberals to read it.
	I'm reading it and I'm like, yeah, I know.
	Uh-huh.
	Yeah, that's true.
	No, I remember that.
	Yeah, I know that happened, Dave, Andy.
	And I also can remember the quotes.
	So here's an incredibly petty thing.
	And I don't want to shit on such a fantastic book with such a petty observation.
	But on page six, and Tucker was just making fun of Jill Biden's dissertation, and it is a fucking shit show.
	She says things like, if you're in a classroom in America, half the class will be Hispanic, a quarter will be black, a quarter will be white, and then there will be another quarter, and she starts listing like seven quarters of people.
	She also talks about in her dissertation that maybe we have to get to the point where we have an eight-week study week, where I guess we cram eight weeks into one week.
	So if we're going to make fun of people for typos, this typo drive me, drove me bananas.
	And again, it's a petty thing to say about a good book, a great book, a very important book that I would love it if this was taught in schools.
	I'd love it if everyone in America could read it.
	It's not radical at all.
	It's very benign.
	This wouldn't be unusual to be read in a classroom.
	It's not like these motherfuckers are burning down the country.
	I hope they all die.
	I'd love to stab them in their cunt and or balls.
	It's not like that.
	It's just like, and then Oegibi, you know his weird gay Vietnamese voice?
	Of course.
	A wedgie we, they were mad at people for challenging them, even though they had been challenging people for a very long time.
	So it's it's very, I find it to be very centrist, actually.
	But anyway, here's a line.
	House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jared Gerald Nadler, he doesn't even say Jerry Nadler.
	That's how sort of politically correct he is, called the movement imagery during a congressional debate.
	Now, Ryan, you're too dumb to know anything in the world, but Jerry Nadler never called Antifa imagery.
	He called them imaginary.
	Oh.
	And he reiterated that on the street with Fleckus, which is how I remember it, where he said it's a figment of our imagination or something.
	So that fucking pissed me off.
	I even looked at the publisher to see if it was some like, you know, homemade thing because no one would want to print it because there's so much controversy about this book.
	But I think it made to the number three New York Times bestseller list.
	Imaginary, Andy.
	Imaginary.
	No one says Antifa's imagery, you fucker.
	Yeah, there it is.
	That's a myth.
	So he called it imaginary?
	Look at his body, by the way.
	What is that?
	If you made a puppet of that in puppet school, you'd fail.
	Only in Washington, D.C. about Antifa in Portland?
	Your Marionette Prof would dump you.
	Look at him.
	Baodly dumped.
	Imagine him nude.
	Who fucks him?
	Does anyone fuck him?
	He gets crazy, Mr. Nadler.
	Politics is Hollywood for ugly people.
	Looks like Nadler's waddling proof.
	Gravity's fucking him in this video.
	So it's like someone dared him.
	Bet you can't get fucked in the ass and walk at the same time.
	Oh, yeah?
	Me not doing that is imagery.
	He also says whom a lot, which is a pet peeve of mine.
	But anyway, I edited a magazine for many years, so I'm very finicky about stupid mistakes.
	Don't let that influence you.
	Oh my God, that woman deserves a fucking Nobel Dick Prize in cocksucking.
	That poor both of them.
	You want to come to them and go, who fucks you guys?
	And they go, we do.
	And you go, wow.
	Why?
	We do.
	Why do you guys fuck?
	Wouldn't you both rather just get prostitutes?
	I'll pay for it.
	But yeah, it's a good sort of A to Z on how Antifa's not just an idea.
	It blows out myths like they don't have a death toll.
	Yes, they absolutely do.
	And it explains their grand plan, which is to destroy America.
	No borders, no wall, no USA at all.
	And I love this new assertion from Paul Joseph Watson where he calls them the lumpen bourgeoisie, which is not included in this, and says that they're not the lumpen proletariat as they purport to be, but they're the lumpen bourgeoisie in that their parents are boomers.
	Come from a meritocracy where you're rich because you busted your ass, you had a great education because the greatest generation created your education.
	But these kids are 250K in debt, a quarter mill in debt from NYU, totally skillless.
	They know words like intersectionality that no one on earth in the real world says outside of academia.
	And they realize that.
	And they realize, my mom and dad aren't going to support me forever.
	I want to just drive off a cliff like Thelma and Louise.
	And so they do.
	Lampen bourgeoisie.
	Lampen bourgeoisie.
	Misogenoire.
	By the way, are there even black women in?
	I forgot to mention this.
	We all know when Shakespeare's from, right?
	Same time as slavery.
	The 1600s.
	400 years ago, this guy was old-fashioned.
	Dude, if you rode to work today in a spaceship and you were wearing all Lycra and your name is X13428 and for lunch, you injected a UV into your arm.
	You are going to be known as painfully old-fashioned in 400 fucking years.
	Jesus H. Half a millennia?
	They say he was bi.
	Oh, good.
	That might save his career.
	The other funny thing about this, too, is if you told Shakespeare, hey, man, people in 400 years are going to think you're old-fashioned.
	He'd go like, I don't give a fuck.
	I'm trying to pay my bills.
	He was basically a soap opera writer at the time.
	That's their only entertainment.
	So he was just churning out the plays and he was happy that they were popular.
	Maybe because there was nothing else going on.
	And then he probably thought, if people still knew about my plays in 50 years, I'd come in my pants.
	Come on, man.
	But 400 years, I won't even have my bones will be ash.
	I got my ashes today, by the way.
	I saw a kid in the lineup, like a three-year-old.
	And the whole purpose of your ashes is you came from ash and you're going back to ash.
	And I was like, don't, please don't give your kid ashes.
	He's only not been ash for like four years.
	He was dust in your balls.
	All we are is dust in the balls.
	All we are is dust in the balls.
	Dust in the balls.
	Three or four years ago.
	How about we let him get to this age before we remind him that you're going to fucking die?
	That was another part I didn't really like about it.
	Hey, just a reminder, you're going to be fucking ashes.
	Yeah, yeah, I know.
	Can we not dwell on that?
	He's like, you could change your diet, but otherwise, I'm going to make a really dark one.
	There was some people, some churches were using a Q-tip.
	Oh, man.
	My buddy's church, they sprinkle the shit in your hair.
	What?
	And then our guy had the thumb and the rub, and then he would wipe like a disinfectant towel thing and then do another one.
	How am I?
	I'm going to spread COVID from my ashy forehead to your ashy forehead.
	Isn't ash like carbon?
	It's a great absorbent.
	It's not really known for transmitting disease.
	God, you should have seen the old lady lighting the candles too.
	Her legs, her legs, her hands were rocks, right?
	Until she got up to light the candle and she had like one of these Bic extension things and she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	And it was so, I guess it was like Parkinson's.
	And we're all watching like, and then she gives up on the Bic and she lights a match.
	And it was just like, it was like naked and afraid in a hailstorm.
	Just and then she kept trying to get it on the candle.
	And she was about to burn her finger.
	She said, blow it out.
	So I go, okay, so you have like Billy Connolly level Parkinson's.
	And then I see her walking and I'm watching her hands like a hawk and they're just like dead rock mittens.
	So why is it when you go to light, you start freaking out?
	And then I told Maddie this and he goes, why don't you go help her?
	It's like, it's not really like, it's not like she was at the back.
	She was at the very front by the steps with all the Jesus and everything.
	And I'm going to get up and walk up to like white ivory steps and go, you need a hand with that?
	Yeah, no, not really that.
	No.
	That's like getting on stage and helping a fucking helping.
	Who was it who fell off the stage and really fucked himself up?
	Oh, the Foo Fighter Sky Dig role.
	All right.
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	We managed to get it in within the first 30 minutes while we're ending the free portion of the show.
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	JohnnyApple.com.
	And if you're a CBD user, why are you using anything but these guys have been supporting us since the day we started and all our advertisers get hassled?
	But they say, fuck you.
	Go ahead and hassle me.
	Well, we're going to boycott you.
	Good.
	I'm brave.
	I don't care if you fire me.
	I'm here to cause trouble if that's what needs be.
	I'm not going to bend the knee.
	They say, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	I know I got the motion in the gutter.
	That's my best.
	Never a beatin'.
	Got the trail in my body.
	Good for furti.
	Feel me like the street.
	Post feet.
	Till you love me.
	And I'm gonna let the street post feet.
	Looks great in the left to street.

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