That was Africa Bambata and John Lydon in the form of PIL Public Image Limited, and the song was Eve of Destruction, a raging hit from the early 80s, wherein the punk godfather, ex-Johnny Rodden of the Sex Pistols,
teamed up with rap forefather Africa Bambata, the man behind Electro, and they merged into what was one of the first mashups in the history of pop music.
That incredible jam was shot in the Bronx when John Lydon was visiting Africa, and they wrote that song in 37 minutes upside down.
They had been taking acid and listening to a series of beats written by a guy named Terminator X, who later started the band Public Enemy with a tin of beans and a friend of his called Julie Janmanson.
Julie went on to become the Queen of England and got AIDS.
That wasn't true the last part, was it?
The beginning was true.
I don't know when it started becoming a lie because I believed it all until the England part.
They did not write the song in 37 minutes.
I don't know if it was shot in the Bronx, but it's a cool jam and it stands up to time.
I've been listening to PIL all week.
So that song was in my head.
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And I'd like to say to Vincent, our sales guy, buddy, you don't have to write www dot.
Okay?
What are you, a baby boomer?
Fucking grow up, my guy.
Do you have that footage of him falling on his ass?
Let's show that.
All right, I have to send it to myself.
Let's see.
I have to send it to myself.
Let's see.
Let's see.
Let's see if I can send it to myself.
Yeah, it really is fantastic beef.
And, you know, you don't really care about beef until you have really good beef.
And then you go, I guess I care about beef.
I guess this is delicious.
I guess I should be more particular.
Fantastic stuff.
Texas.
Remember we had that guy who flew down there to go meet them?
We have some billionaire who watches our show, and he jumped in his plane, flew down there and said, hey, I heard about you on Gavin's show.
I don't know if we ever mentioned that on the show.
I think we were in the car when I heard that.
That might have never been mentioned to the farmer.
No, some rich guy just heard the show, thought, that sounds cool, jumped in his plane, went and met them, hung out with them, had some steaks, and then rode his plane home.
I'm not a little plane guy.
In upstate New York, they're everywhere.
Every white trash farmer has a plane.
Because back before there was roads, that's how you got around.
And I'm just not comfortable with that.
Sorry, folks.
Those doctor death mobiles.
Doctors always die in that.
Doctor Killers, yeah.
Yeah, doctor killers.
When we had a place in Costa Rica, we used to ride a little tiny one prop Sansa flight, one prop little plane.
Like here in America, you have to have two.
So if one goes out, you're fine.
But not in Costa Rica.
We sold all our dead planes over there.
So now they have a plane where if one engine dies, we're dead.
And when the turbulence is bad, you poop your panties.
It's fucking scary.
Speaking of which, I saw in the paper today that the pilot wanted to keep Kobe happy.
So he went right through a cloud.
And then he got so disoriented, he thought he was pulling up, but he was actually plummeting down.
I don't quite get that.
Isn't this what you do to go up?
Yeah.
I know a helicopter pilot.
Let's see what he says.
I got the video.
Okay, let's see the video of our sales guy falling.
I just like the confidence that it starts with.
Why does he have a mask in his own house?
Maybe he knows this is going to be aired.
Here he goes.
Hi.
Wow!
Let's give old Billy a call.
See if he's there.
He would not be happy to know he's on a show.
These older gents are very quiet.
They don't like being public.
Hey, Bill, you're live.
Did you hear about this Kobe Bryant helicopter pilot?
No, I did not.
Well, apparently he thought he was going up when he was going down, and they call it spatial disorientation.
Spatial disorientation, yes.
Spatial disorientation.
That's when your inner air spins around, you think you're up, but you're down.
But isn't a helicopter things, don't they pull up like a plane?
Yeah, but if you think you're, if you think you're going, if you think you're going, put it this way, you do the opposite reaction.
Your inner ear has a fluid in it.
It spins to keep you balanced.
And when you're flying, it goes different, spatial disorder.
Now, if you think you're going up, you're going to push the nose down.
That's why they train a pilot.
Trust your instruments.
Don't trust yourself.
So when you think you're not doing something, you look at the instrument.
If you can't see outside your windscreen, whatever the instruments say, if you think you're going up, but it's saying you're going down, you pull up.
If it says you're going up and you think you're going down, you follow your instruments.
They're accurate.
So I also heard he should have had a TAWS, a terror awareness, terrain awareness warning system.
And that would have told him he was near a mountain.
Yeah, but a lot of people don't listen to that.
But the thing is, you don't need that.
Like I said, when you're flying, you're skiing your instruments.
Attitude heading, vertical speed, and attitude vertical speed.
And then you look at your artificial horizon.
And that's it.
You follow your instruments.
You can't see out of the windscreen.
You don't know what you're doing.
If I put you in a chair and I spin you in a circle, and you try to get up, you think you're walking left because you're going right.
Oh, that reminds me one more thing, and this is really important.
Go ahead.
I fucking knew it.
I saw that coming from a mile away, unlike Kobe's helicopter pilot.
Kobe died of hating traffic.
I hate traffic too, Kobe.
Not enough to die.
This was a really good article.
Our lost you there.
Hello?
Yes, something important, and you hung up on me.
Yeah.
Okay.
Was that me?
Is that one of those things to be continued next episode?
Yeah.
What's up?
That's it.
Bye.
That was it?
Yeah.
Oh, you really did hang up.
Yeah.
I thought you got cut off.
No, I'm being funny.
Oh, you're not.
That's how guys talk to one another.
That is fucking funny.
He said, when he met my dad at the bar, he goes, look, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about with your fucking accent, but if you don't learn English soon, I'm going to call ice.
This article is amazeballs.
Smug lefty is holier than plow, rips Megan Nabes who clear her drives.
So she's some horrific cunt who she lives in Brooklyn.
She works for, I don't know, some lefty, Los Angeles Times.
I don't know why she lives in Brooklyn.
And some rich person says, stay at my place upstate.
So she does.
And she lives upstate.
And she's got NPR shit on the walls and Noam Chomsky.
And she's in some sort of leftist haven.
And it's been snowing like crazy here in New York.
So some rich MAGA dude plows her driveway for her.
And it's really hard for her.
What can you do about the Trumpies next door?
She asks.
Because yes, that person did a nice thing for me, but someone they support was trying to kill millions of Americans.
What do you do with one kind act after years of support for a man who showed near murderous contempt toward most Americans?
Say thank you, bitch.
What's her name?
You got to look her up because it shows you how you have to be careful when you're finding a mate because they can really go from an eight to a two overnight.
So look up Virginia Heffernan.
H-E-F-F-E-R-N-A-N.
It's got heifer in it.
That's not good.
Yeah, that's your first sign.
You could date the hottest girl in the world, but if her name is like Joanna Cowley, the cow is going to come forth.
Crowley would be good.
So image, Google image her.
Click.
Yeah.
So look how pretty she was.
Oh, that was her?
That looks like...
I thought that was a different person.
I know.
She looks so healthy, and she's not too hot.
Like, that's a nice girl next door, nice and thin.
Not like her little teeth.
Yeah, the goofy smile is pretty cute.
Yeah, she's got some real like Irish potential there, right?
And look at the black and white one in the corner.
That's a model.
That's a model.
I'm married to a model, but who's not too hot?
It's a model with a cute little bit of cuteness to her.
And then she gets the ring and becomes the heifer that she is.
Womp, womp, womp, look at that tumor on her cheek.
That could be cancerous.
That's a microphone.
You know what you do with that is you wrap dental floss around the base and you cut off the blood supply and it'll just fall off.
Around the what?
The base?
Chillo, you've got a base.
Wait, if she has a microphone in her hand, why does she need that little tumor microphone?
Yeah, good point.
What the heck?
We want to double mic you just in case.
I didn't have time.
My computer's a piece of shit.
I've had this computer since for 10 years.
That's a long time for one of these, isn't it?
Yeah.
This woman compares her Trump supporting neighbors who plowed her driveway to Nazi sympathizers and Hezbollah and wrestles whether to show them any kindness since she can't give them absolution.
Wait a minute.
Doesn't uh I thought only a priest can give absolution.
Can we give absolution to each other?
Did she just accidentally deify herself and make her into some godlike figure who hands out pardons?
Anyway, my internet is poopy.
No, my computer's poopy.
My email is fucked up.
My thing about my email is I've kept all my old emails, like Rooster New York and Street Carnage, even Vice.
So I have like 72 email addresses and occasionally we'll be updating and it just, it gets overwhelmed.
And you know what, computer, I don't blame it.
I don't blame you, dude.
It's a lot to deal with.
So I've emailed you some articles.
But before we get to that, we're now at the mid-roll.
We're only going to do a half hour of freebie show.
Although you're getting two hours, folks at home who pay.
And by the way, folks at home who pay, what a show you get.
One and a half to two hours a day, rollicking fun times.
And you know what I love about this show?
It's not all news.
No disrespect to Ben Shapiro and Tim Poole, but they just power through the news.
Joey Saladino, I love all those guys.
Tucker Carlson, but they're just powering through the news.
We will go off at a tangent about tits for 10 minutes in a new segment we have called 10 Minutes of Tits.
Bumper.
That's a bumper.
We riff.
It's got much more of a radio vibe, more of an Opian Anthony, Howard Stern-y thing.
But without the fucking sycophantic interviews, you don't listen to Howard Stern, but the interviews as of late are such an ass-licking festival that I'm worried he's going to get hepatitis C. It's just how wonderful you are, Kristen Wig.
Oh, oh, George Clooney, you're so talented.
It must be so wonderful to be so talented.
How do you do it?
Do you get nervous when you're doing these things?
Do you get nervous?
Is your brother jealous of you?
It's always like your brother's jealous.
But let's take a break here, halfway through the first half hour, and talk about Johnny Apple CBD, proud Patriot-owned.
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You've got the tinctures.
I know, you know, people who grow real pot, they always tell me the first thing everyone always asks them is, can you get me any weak weed?
That's what people want now.
They are sick of this LSD marijuana.
It's too intense.
We're not Snoop Dogg.
We're not Willie Nelson.
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You don't need THC to have some good, good vibes.
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I recommend trying the topicals on your sore muscles.
I'm actually going to try it on my cracked ribs.
These are getting worse, by the way.
Getting out of the car is like getting gang raped by homeless people.
I carry Tiger Bomb with me.
Really?
You ever try that?
I did when I was a child, when I was like 19.
I think it's hitting a new level of popularity these days.
Like, I've been hearing about this Tiger Bomb a lot.
It was big in the 90s, dude.
Huh.
You know what my friend said when he called me today?
And he's really got his ear to the ground.
He goes, good news.
What?
This is over.
This bullshit.
The pendulum is swinging the other way.
I think America has said, all right, all right, all right.
You won.
We're out.
Trump's gone.
This impeachment thing is getting a little tedious.
So wrap that up.
Do what you're going to do with that.
But arresting every single person who was in DC on January 6th and relentlessly talking about them, it's getting boring and I'm getting annoyed.
So shut up.
Even within the FBI and the CIA, apparently, they're going, yeah, we signed up to bust child sex trafficking rings and drug cartels.
We didn't sign up to bust my mom.
So can we dial it back a bit?
Because getting everyone's Bank of America info on who traveled there is a bit much.
But look up this article I just sent you where this woman is claiming that Trump was talking to proud boys previous to January 6th.
Are you catching up?
So he said, stand black and stand by.
And we all know that was a typo.
He meant to say stand down.
No one minds when Biden says poor boys.
He's allowed infinite typos, but Trump, if he says stand back and stand by, it means he has a personal army ready, which is absurd.
No politician would ever risk being in constant contact with Proud Boys, no matter how much he loved them.
Like Tucker Carlson would never acknowledge Proud Boys, even though they were in his studio when they were bodyguarding Roger Stone.
He's like, I don't want anything to do with that shit.
I don't know who you are.
Fuck off.
But the idea of a president of the United States calling a bunch of fucking drunks and being, you guys ready?
This shit's going down, Jan 6.
It's such a juvenile babysitter way to see the world.
Like, what a fucking idiot this woman is.
Democrats claim Trump conspired with Proud Boys on message boards.
Wow.
You better not pussy out.
Here, do his voice, Ryan.
At Donald Trump, number 33.
That's my...
They call it a handle.
That's what they call it.
We're going to go down there, upvote this so that we can...
Can you pin this?
To the top of the board?
I don't like when it gets lost.
Gotta pin it.
I swear to God, if any of you pussies fucking pussy out tomorrow, I'm gonna fucking arrest you.
If you're in this guy, I told you to stand black and stand by.
Loud and clear.
I said, stand black and stand by.
Stand black.
That means you.
Let me see the article.
No, that's Orion.
House Impeachment Managers argued Wednesday afternoon that then President Tom had not only incited January 6th, but had secretly planned the riot by conspiring with the Proud Boys.
Delegate Stacey Plaskett, look at her.
Go up.
Look at her.
These are the numskos that are in office.
Fucking imbeciles.
Wait, what?
Wait, what?
I think that's Plaskett?
And who's this?
Who's that, Brock?
Wait, is Breitbart trying to be politically correct?
So they make fun of a fucking idiot and they go, well, we can't show her she's black.
Let's just show some dumb white woman.
Maybe.
This could be her, Madeline Dean.
Okay, hold on.
Yeah, it probably is.
They always choose the white woman.
Correct.
Yep.
Okay, so two of the stupidest people in the history of politics have decided that Trump is on Telegram and Signal and fucking Gab.
Imagine he was.
He's on Gab now, I heard.
Nice.
Stacey Plaskett brought up the debunk claim that Trump used his appearance at the first presidential debate to communicate with right-wing proud boys, some of whom she said would later appear at the Capitol Riot.
Well, the latter is true, I guess.
She also claimed that Trump and his aide monitored right-wing message boards and that they both knew about and approved of violent messages being posted there by people who are planning to come to Washington, D.C. So how does she know that he knew about and approved of them?
That's a pretty big claim.
Plaskett offered no evidence, of course, of actual coordination between Trump and these groups, but observed conspiratorially that members of the mob at the Capitol Riot were seen wearing earpieces during the...
So that was Trump.
Like, here's what I was thinking the other day.
People like Stacey Plaskett, they've watched too many movies.
I was watching Blue Bloods in the bar today, and it's some like gang warfare thing.
And of course, they throw down the guy on the ground and they arrest him.
And he looks like my brother.
He is a 30-year-old middle-class white guy.
And that's usually the bad guys.
Look at a commercial for a security system, and it's always like white dudes robbing a house, home invasion.
And so you have numskulls like these two women saying Trump has an earpiece and it's all white dudes.
But I think with WorldStar and everything, the next generations, not Gen X, Gen X and Baby Boomers believe movie type narratives that Trump talks to blue-collar workers and has them storm the Capitol.
There we go.
Criminal stock photo, yeah.
Yeah, criminals.
Just your typical crims.
But Gen Z and Gen Y, they're only interested in reality.
I understand there's a contradiction here because they're also social justice warriors and they're little bubbles, but bubbles are more like Facebook related.
I have a hunch that the younger generations are so inundated with reality that they know the stats.
They know that blacks are disproportionately represented in violent crime.
They know that Hispanics are disproportionately represented in heroin dealing with El Chapo and all this oxy shit that tends to be Mexican gangs.
They're starting to see that if you want to talk about race wars in America, it's brown on black.
In California, we have Hispanics murdering blacks just because of their race.
And there's also going through all their footage on Reddit and going, I'm not seeing a ton of Nazi skinheads here.
So although the media and the FBI says it's domestic terrorists, it's white supremacists, that's who's everywhere.
I think the younger generations are going on their phone going, okay, where are they?
I watched 100 shootings on my phone today.
Not one Nazi skin.
So anyway, go back to these numbskulls.
She offered no evidence.
Representative Madeline Dean, the light bulb head we saw at the top, made similar claims, arguing that Trump had disseminated violent messages in rallies.
She claimed that he knew the rally he convened at the ellipse would be violent.
He'd assembled thousands of violent people.
People he knew were capable of violence.
People he had seen be violent.
See, that's more nebulous.
That's just a silly statement, but it's hard to disprove because it's just rhetoric.
Well, that huge rally, that huge MAGA rally in D.C., there was no violence there.
So it's, you know.
Go back to the article.
It's Stacey Plaskett that should be the picture for this article.
She then claimed President Trump deliberately incited them, that he lit the fuse and sent the angry mob to the perceived enemy.
This is so, this whole thing is so fucking retarded.
Trump doesn't want to run again, and we don't want him again.
We don't want a 70 or 8-year-old who can't build a wall and freeze a bunch of rappers so people don't think he's racist.
That's boring to us.
Also, the swamp let him run as a joke.
They assumed he wouldn't win.
They're never doing that again.
They are going to keep their cards close to their chest from now on.
No Republicans ever getting in again unless he's from the swamp.
Now, there's good guys in the swamp.
There's Matt Goetz, there's Ron DeSantis.
But outsiders coming in, like, Candace Owens thinks she can run?
She can run.
But she can't hide.
This is messed up.
I didn't know that.
Oh, my God.
This guy.
They cut out peacefully.
Dems played Trump's remarks in Impeachment Trump, but Leave Out called it peacefully.
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
And if we buy this radical argument.
This guy has the worst hair.
First of all, I can't tell if that's a Yamaka or a bald spot.
I guess it's a bald spot.
Play more.
Yeah.
Isn't that the worst bald spot you've ever seen?
Is that a burn accident?
If I wasn't Jewish and I had that hair, I'd become Jewish so I could do that.
Did you pass out into a barbecue?
Did you do a Vincent fall backwards, but into a lava pit?
Is that a scalp?
What is that thing?
What is that thing?
It looks like a worn-out piece of carpet.
But that's not the worst of his hair.
Here, scroll down, get his exact name.
I forget his name.
Um.
He said.
So that means he said his showed his face already in his name.
See where he's.
No, he is Trump.
What's this guy's name again?
Yeah, I got it on my fucking phone.
Um.
Wait, he puts his mask on when he's done speaking?
What will the January 6th to become our future?
Democrats' impeachment lawyer.
And what will that mean for America?
Think about it.
Look up just Democrat.
Just look up impeachment lawyer Dems.
This guy's hair is a horror movie.
I mean, just cut it very, very short, dude.
No.
Did you write Dems?
Let's meet him.
Let's meet them.
Oh, that's him on the right, right?
I think so.
What does it say?
Okay, let's see.
Madeline Dean, Eric Swalalo.
Do you know?
David Siciline, Jamie Randin.
I think it's Raskin.
Yeah, yeah, it's the Raskin, right?
Raskin?
Yeah, yeah, it is.
His name is Jamie?
Jamie Raskin?
That's worse than Judd Lagoon.
Oof.
Now look at his fucking hair.
Look at that.
That's like Jeff Goldblum in the fly.
Yeah, yeah.
He's turning into a fly.
Look at that rat's nest.
That's much better.
That's just like Howard Stern's pubes.
But look at that mess.
Dude, could you have worse fucking hair?
He has the worst hair in the world.
Oh, he's feeling good.
Okay, at least he's got some shit in it there.
He's trying to tame the beast.
That's fine.
But like, look at some of this shit.
He's worse than Trey Gowdy.
And he's got a different dude every shot.
Yeah, there's no consistency.
Just get some fucking clippers, dude, and accept that your hair was never meant to see the light of day.
You know how many times you heard when he gelled it?
It looks good like that, gel.
This is good.
And he's like, really?
That's the worst.
That's every man's nightmare.
I would argue that this is why guys like you, millennials, wear beanies.
Because they may have an inclination of that.
They may have a tendency to drift towards that.
So they beanie it up after a shower, trying to straighten it so it won't turn into.
Look at that.
What is happening behind your ears, sir?
His hair is so shitty, it's trying to escape itself.
It's trying to leave his head.
I don't want to be part of it.
There's a coup going on on top of his fucking head.
That's good.
That's one of the better ones.
Business in the front and parties over in the back.
Look at this, Raskin.
You must be so fucking green with envy.
Look at this gorgeous hair.
Hair guys over here.
All right.
So that's enough free shit for the faggots.
Let's end this and say, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
KGB is smarter than you think.
That was a very prescient line, wasn't it?
I saw a funny article today about comedy.
I've never heard of this guy.
Have you heard of this guy, Seth Simons?
No.
He's the dude who got Shane Gillis fired.
And guess what else he's accomplished?
What's that?
Nothing.
Apparently, he's a sex pest.
He's known for molesting women.
And that's been well televised.
But he's this hideous little beta male who's obsessed with Anthony Cumio.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
That's a really handsome picture of him looking super tough, by the way.
On a mug, yeah.
I remember that.
Yeah.
Put his name in quotes, though.
And I'm remiss to do this because this is the only attention he ever gets.
He's a failed comedian who just follows around comedians and bitches.
No, it's 1M, dick licker.
He follows around comedians.
There he is.
Finds the edgy ones and says, these guys have gone too far.
And then just sort of torments them.
Look at him.
Look at that.
And there's no stand-up of him anywhere.
So he is the head of like the Gothamists or some fucking shitty blogs, New York comedy thing.
There he is.
They always wear that sweatshirt, don't they?
Imagine getting Shane Gillis fired.
And we remember what happened with Shane Gillis, right?
He was hired to be on SNL, which I don't know why, but for some reason, that's every New York comedian's dream job.
It's a shitty job.
The pay sucks.
And you work 14 hours a day writing jokes that people don't do.
And then when it finally makes it to the stage, it's not funny because someone's reading from a cue card.
So your joke has just been eviscerated.
So I don't quite understand why it's considered the greatest job of all time.
Hey, you fucking piece of shit.
It's you.
That's the Joker.
A failed stand-up that kills someone who got a TV show.
I cannot wait to meet you, and I will.
That's a great correlation.
Norm McDonald wants to kill him.
So he's just a vindictive bitch.
He's a batch.
Batch.
Did he write this?
He wrote that.
But wait a minute.
So let's get back to Shane Gillis in case people don't know it.
It is Shane Gillis, right?
So Shane Gillis had a Podcast, and he was talking about Chinatown.
It's just a silly throwaway joke.
This is what these people do.
And I'm not just talking about this beta male pussy, but in general, they resent that you're having fun and you're riffing with your friends, and they can never be a part of that.
So they go through your riffs and they get really clinical about it.
Like Louis Gomez was like, yeah, fucking they say that there's some name for guys that are attracted to teenage girls.
It's called like a paleophile or something.
They go, there's no need to have a name for it.
It's just called a dude.
Everyone wants to fuck a teenage girl, which is actually a Mark Marin bit.
He goes, of course I want to fuck teenage girls.
That's why there's a law.
He has this whole bit about how these teenage girls, they don't look at me because I'm so old.
And it's like, I don't want to fuck you.
I just want you to acknowledge that I exist.
And then later on at the end of the bit, he goes, who am I kidding?
Of course I want to fuck them.
That's why there's a law.
So it's funny when he says it.
But it's the same kind of bit.
But when it's blogged about and transcribed, it's like, I want to have sex with underage girls.
You come across as a pedophile.
Anyway, that's what these guys do.
They strip everything of context.
So Shane Gillis was talking about Chinatown with his buddy.
And, oh, you got it there?
I wonder how that started.
They just built one fucked up looking building and people were like, all right, no one said anything.
The fucking chinks live there, huh?
Well, they built these fucking, like, huge Shanghai houses.
The first one must have infuriated everyone.
I'm pissed out.
I go down there.
I'm like, what are you guys doing here?
Get these ducks out of that window.
You know what?
Yeah, true.
Also, I'm always like, how can there be so many fucking restaurants down here?
All restaurants.
Well, because you go in, there's like one person eating every white idiots like me are down there sucking down neuters.
I hate the food in Chinatown.
It sucks.
Neuters.
Chinese food's a very dishonest cuisine.
I don't even want to think about it.
They invented a fucking chemical to put in their food to make it dericous, dude.
Dericious.
They made MSG.
Did he say dericious just to be funny?
That's dishonest food, dude.
That's very witty.
I'm not kidding.
He said, come out with dericious that fast?
Shane said neuter.
What does that mean?
It's like noodle, but neuter.
Oh, oh, I get it.
So they're throwing in mispronunciations.
This is called funny, guys.
This is not...
He doesn't literally hate Chinese people.
They're just riffing.
They're doing a bit.
He was doing a character.
He was saying Chingx as a different person.
Can you imagine?
I would hate to go back to the 80s and explain that you have to explain shit like this.
If you said this to someone when I was like 22, back when we had movies like Porkies and Animal House and stuff, people would go, why are you explaining that?
It's wrecking it.
You're wrecking the fun.
Uses racist, sexist, homophobic remarks in resurfaced material.
It's been resurfaced.
So this guy could have had a trajectory.
It could have involved writing movies and stuff.
But this Seth sex pest is so jealous that he just sabotages it.
It's like the old Canadian joke where they have this guy selling Canadian lobsters at a market in Maine.
And this woman goes, oh my God, whoa, whoa, look, one of the lobsters is getting out of your bucket.
And he goes, oh, don't worry about it.
They're Canadian.
As soon as one of them starts getting out of the bucket, the others will pull them back down.
Pretty good.
So anyway, this dude got a hold of that.
And there he is.
Holy shit.
No wonder he's a rapist.
Who would fuck him?
You have to steal it.
A chemical they made up.
He wrote this article that Anthony Jeselnik retweeted.
Anthony Jeselnik, didn't he have a whole thing about Holocaust camps?
He said, yeah, he says, he's like raping babies and the Holocaust didn't happen.
What was his Holocaust bit?
See.
Darkest stand-up joke.
Oh, look.
So this guy, this little kid, writes an article about...
We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy.
A peanut allergy, which is very serious, I know.
But still, I...
Four minutes.
Let's see if we got it.
Probably love my little nephew.
He's like six years old.
So cute.
I talk to him every day on the phone.
It's going to be hard to find.
No, you don't have to find the actual clip.
Just find record of him.
Just go Anthony Jeselnik Holocaust, not in video, in normal.
Help me out here, folks.
And then we have proof that he crosses the line.
And it's weird that he would be concerned about alt-right.
No?
He's protected, though.
Defending rape jokes because he's, you know, he's in the biz.
Well, anyway, I saw some link that had some Holocaust type thing, and it was probably moderately funny.
And you should be allowed to do Holocaust jokes, folks.
I did one in Tel Aviv, and it slayed.
I did stand-up in Tel Aviv, and I said, we were at the Holocaust Museum today.
My God.
So incredible to see the little shoes everywhere and everything.
I mean, the fact that they would do that to 300,000 people is just alarming.
And everyone laughed.
Israelis are a hell of a lot cooler about Jewish stuff than American Jews.
They get that you're not serious.
Okay.
Anyway, so Jezelnik, whatever kind of last name that is, retweeted this.
So let's see the article.
And it is, the comedy industry has a big alt-right problem.
How safe spaces for transgressive humor, both online and real life, help breed a hateful ideology.
Oh, have they removed his name from it?
No, it's up there.
No, it's up there.
Look at the visual.
So it's a guy dressed as Hitler.
Oh, there's a proud boy, right?
He's got the, on the far left.
Look, he's got the polo done up all the way.
That's got to be a proud boy.
He's laughing with a Nazi skin head.
And then go farther down.
Then there's just a Nazi Zeke Heiling, kind of a biker Nazi.
I guess that's a Boogaloo Boy in the Hawaiian shirt, and then just a dude with the Confederate flag.
What comedy club is this?
Anyone who has been to a comedy club in the past five years knows that it is nothing but Trump is Hitler, 2020 sucked, 2016 sucked, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's shitty, PC comedy.
There's all these rules about trans.
It's comedy's over.
Stand-up comedy sucks.
Now, there is a tiny group, and they are linked to Anthony Cumium, where they do real jokes and they're funny.
And it's Legion of Skanks, which is Big Jay Okerson, the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, Dave Smith.
Those guys are funny.
Aaron Berg is funny.
Gino Biscante is funny.
So there's like Dante Nero, even though he stabbed me in the back.
There's like 10 genuinely funny comedians who still do edgy shit.
And that's out of, what, 10,000?
There are none in Los Angeles, none in Seattle, none in San Francisco, none in any other big city but New York.
And there is a smattering guys.
And these are not racists, obviously.
These are guys that can just do a joke, like a Holocaust joke, like I just said, or a rape joke or something like that.
So this fucking loser, because I guess he wanted to be part of that group and they rejected him, he focuses on them and uses them to represent all of comedy.
That's how you write articles these days.
You say there's a big trend here, and then you find 10 people and no one runs the numbers.
They just go, well, there's 10 people doing it.
It must be a big deal.
America has a huge spider bite problem.
And then you list the six people who died of spider bites last year.
You've got an article.
You show their pictures, their mug shots or whatever, their graduation shots, and you have a picture of a spider.
Spider bites.
They're killing us all.
Anyway, so check this out.
In the intro here, in the dark recesses of the internet lurks a man who goes by toxic cis white male fat.
So we've already established in the first four words that you have to go to the dark recesses of the internet to find this horrible trend.
Well, judging from the illustration up top, I thought comedy clubs were full of Nazis.
Now I have to go to the dark recesses of the internet to a forum called onaforums.net.
And then, yes, I find nigger hate thread, the kike hate thread, a bunch of bad stuff.
Congratulations.
So anyway, scroll down.
The internet can sometimes seem like one big rabbit hole.
Yeah, if you're trying to find proof that Nazis are taking over the world, you're going to end up down a lot of deep rabbit holes.
Keep going.
And of course, the Capitol Riot.
Look at this.
Look at this line.
Go up a little bit.
The place where popular mainstream comedy bleeds into the kind of right-wing politics that animated the Capitol Riot last month.
So not only is the dark recesses supposed to be mainstream, but these horrible comedians led to an insurgency on January 6th.
But keep going.
Recent comedy boom, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Keep going.
Mobs descended on Washington, D.C. You need to link it to D.C. If the far-right's origins in comedy are ill-appreciated, they were never particularly secret.
By his own account, Gavin McInnis created the Prowl Boys on Compound Media.
And it's just a given that the Prowboys are white supremacists in this article.
A subscriber, started by Anthony Kumia.
The Gavin McKinnis show, like many other programs on the self-style free speech networks, was not shy about its politics over the show's 407 episodes.
And you know this guy watched every single one with his notepad.
McInnis spoke glowingly of right-wing violence.
Yes, I did when it was meant to confront left-wing violence.
I said, if someone attacks you, attack back.
Proudly declared himself a racist.
Well, that's just fucking false.
What do I do?
I sue for that?
Okay.
And regularly used the N-word, true, among other slurs.
When a caller questioned his interracial marriage in 2016, McInnes responded that he had children with a woman of color because he's cleaning up the races.
It has not occurred to this person that that was a joke.
This man writes about comedy for a living, and he takes that literally.
Oh, and then he adds the pretense of irony hung over everything he said, but pretense is all it ever was.
So I guess I am literally dating my wife, married to my wife, and having kids with her.
So my Indian kids will marry white, and then I will have cleaned up the ho-chunks.
I will have cleaned up the American Indians.
Compound meetings was where telling jokes gave way to saying what you meant jokingly.
See, this is what they keep saying, right?
So you make a joke that's edgy, and they want to make it racist, and so you go, I'm obviously kidding.
And they go, no, no, no, you're using comedy to hide your racism, and you're using it as a Trojan horse to get racism out there.
Okay, so what's the racism?
That I think you should marry blacks and Hispanics and Asians and Indians and then breed with them and then breed more whites to clean up their race?
What fucker said that?
I mean, does anyone believe this shit?
There's zero logic.
When McKinnis found the Proud Boys, he used it as a recruitment tool.
He laid out the organized principles, chief among them, which was the ideal Western chauvinism and white people.
White males are a big part of what made the West great.
He told a caller with questions about joining.
The Black Contingent of the Proud Boys is pro-white male, the same way you'd be if you're ex-Bilivian.
Of course, the context here was, you're a Western chauvinist.
Aren't most Westerners white?
And I would say, yeah, but it's not something that we dwell on.
You just acknowledge that.
Good work, white guys.
And that became the only blacks that are allowed are blacks that are white supremacists.
Despite his concerns of the open Nazi elements far right were bad for his brand, McKinnis didn't hesitate to associate with them.
His guests were who's here, the contemporary far right?
Milo Yiannopoulos, Richard Spencer.
So he lists every right-winger I had on the show, right?
And totally ignores every left-winger I had on the show.
This is the new left.
I screamed at Jason Kessler, I mocked Richard Spencer.
And David Duke, we had on with Chris Cotton, the blackest guy I've ever met, to discuss white bread and whether white bread was evil.
Because David Duke hates bread, especially white bread.
That's a funny bit.
So the Gavin Kim show was more than just the white power hour.
Anyway, this goes on and on and on.
You can look it up yourself.
We're giving him too much attention.
But it's a good example of this myopic, one-sided storytelling where you have no interest in telling the truth or saving the world from Nazis.
You really are just trying to take down a group that you don't like or that you are jealous of or that you resent for some reason.
So you cherry-pick things and you frame it in a way where it looks like, I've caught the white power-ness.
And these editors are such fucking losers that they run with it.
Such long articles always.
Oh, dude.
It ends with like I started white supremacy in comedy, which is insane.
And then he goes back to the stand and the origins of the stand.
So the timeline goes like 2014 to 2016, and then it jumps back to like 2001 to 2020.
Once again, it's someone's notes.
What are you doing?
Oh, I thought you were running to get a water.
I was going to murder you.
What a strange time we're living in.
Where we're obsessed with white supremacy.
I mean, I moved...
I remember political correctness when I was in school in the 90s.
I think if you look it up on Wikipedia, it started in like 70s and 80s or something.
And this show might get canceled by our TriCaster overheating.
Which, by the way, I'm a cheap piece of shit to not have a new one.
Those were 20 grand when I got that one.
I got it used for 12 grand.
They're like 2,000 bucks now.
Hey, I hate this fucking shit.
Hey, tech guy, you're watching this show.
Can you just buy a new one and bill me?
Political correctness really started gaining strength in the early 90s.
And I remember it in college, and I remember it was a weird group.
We had purple-haired lesbians, but they were way over there in the smoking section.
They didn't control the show.
My school, Carleton University, we had a radio station called CKCU, which was started by Dan Aykroyd.
And if you looked at our schedule, it was a bunch of different types of music.
Monday night was, I hosted this punk rock show, Punk and Hardcore.
We had to play 60% Canadian content for some fucking dumb reason.
There was like jazz and there was rock and there's all the different genres spread out throughout the week.
Cool.
Reggae hour.
That's what a radio station should be.
I checked in on it recently.
Check in on it now.
CKCU schedule.
Now it's called like Inuit Awareness Hour and Ethiopian Discussions of Gender.
I don't even think they have music anymore.
Indigenous CKCU, an Indian morning.
This island, Earth.
Swing is in the air.
Voice of Somalia.
Roots and rhythms.
Okay, so there's at least one thing.
Black and blues.
Okay, so there's some stuff.
But it's all fucking.
Minding the brain.
Asian sounds?
What?
Asian what?
Asian sounds.
Asian sounds?
Ow!
Like Cantonese women screaming at each other?
Cats being butchered.
See, now the modern journalists would transcribe that one clip and say, this is how they talk.
They wouldn't even mention that you're a fucking nip.
Yeah, half non-Asian co-host.
No, that doesn't come out.
Half non-Asian.
So 995, it was bubbling.
And then 95, it started gaining stride.
And I feel like Vice, who we were voice in Montreal, we didn't really exist in our early days in Montreal, not in any kind of cultural, influential way.
But towards the late 90s, we started being distributed in New York and across the continent.
And I honestly believe that, well, mostly me, I was handling the content, but I'd be nothing without Shane and Sarouche.
Sarouche was doing the music and Shane was doing everything else, the marketing, getting the money.
I mean, I can write all I want.
If there's nothing to write on and there's no one receiving it, it doesn't mean anything.
So Shane was a crucial part of this movement, even though he didn't do much content or any.
But I honestly believe from the late 90s, we moved to New York in 99, up until 2005, we kept back the beast.
It was almost like the African killer bee.
We were at the border of wherever African killer bees come in, and we were keeping them back.
We were keeping them back.
It was exhausting.
But we were offensive.
We were getting in trouble.
We were getting boycotted.
We were getting angry letters.
We were losing clients.
We were getting thrown in jail.
We were getting boycotted.
But we managed to keep them at bay and we kept shit fun.
Like the early aughts in New York City, you could make rude jokes.
Buddies with this black guy, Kevin, who had a shirt that said Boys in the Hood.
And it was, no, it said the real Boys in the Hood.
And it was three Klansmen.
Now, he was a black guy, so it's easier to get away with that joke.
But that's the kind of shit you could do back then.
Yeah, no, it's supposed to be a joke, right?
I would have a t-shirt that said screwdriver.
They were a Nazi skinhead band.
People would laugh when they saw that shirt.
It was funny.
And I had a picture on it from a cartoon that Robert Crumb did that was called like, When the Goddamn Niggers Take Over the World or something.
Have you seen these?
Please, it's a fucking joke.
Robert Crumb did two comic.
One was When the Goddamn Motherfucking Jews take over the world, which I was trying to allude to in my 10 things I hate about the Jews.
And then there was another one was like when the goddamn niggers take over America.
Yeah, there it is.
When the niggers take over America.
Now, anyone with a fucking, see that panel in the bottom right?
I made that on my screwdriver shirt.
For so, are you afraid of young black men?
You ought to be.
They hate your white guts.
So anyone with a semblance of a brain, go back, go back, can see that this comic is lampooning fear of black people.
It's a parody of, you know, extreme white paranoia.
And it's funny.
It's like, do you really think this is going to happen to you?
Although it kind of did happen in Haiti.
And I think it might be Robert Krem lampooning his own paranoia.
And he did another one with the Jews.
Anyway, that kind of joke was fun and interesting and insightful.
Like in Tel Aviv, when I said, what a terrible thing to happen to 300,000 people.
Obviously, the people in that audience got that I wasn't just lampooning anti-Semitism.
And I hate, we're over-analyzing jokes here.
It's like watching porn and pausing it and saying, why?
That probably feels good.
But what I was really lampooning is like people who are naive and they think that they're on your side, but they're shitting all over you by accident.
I was really lampooning virtue signalers is what I was doing.
And that's what Crumb was doing that.
Anyway, 2000 and 2005, we were all doing great.
And then the walls started breaking.
The levy broke around in 2005.
And I've told you before, I mark that the catalyst I mark was Larry Summers getting fired from Harvard as president of Harvard for saying that maybe women are not naturally predisposed to STEM.
But that's when it started gaining traction.
And then 2008, we had Obama.
What Obama did was he legislated political correctness.
He made trans SJW shit not just acceptable, but law.
And that made all these dumb college students that I knew as an esoteric group of weirdos in the smoking section back in the early 90s, it made them legislators.
It made them cultural icons.
It made them important.
That's what Biden's trying to continue now with this lunatic trans health minister.
And, you know, you had Michelle saying, the first time I ever wasn't ashamed of this country, the first time I was ever proud of this country was when I saw my husband become president.
And that became what you say.
And then you had de Blasio become mayor because his son has a big afro.
And then his son, the first day his dad's in office, he says, I hate the cops.
I don't feel safe around cops.
We became an anti-cop city in New York.
It's just, it's become the norm.
Ilhan Omer, the squad, they get in by shitting on America.
Yeah, there it is.
Mark Cuban today said, my team isn't going to have the national anthem in any games.
What?
And then Jen Saki says, I think that's great.
I think what he's doing is he's recognizing that the U.S. has fallen short on a lot of policies.
You know who's more patriotic than Jen Saki?
The NBA.
They said, fuck you.
All teams have the national anthem before games, you fucking ingrate.
As is evidenced by the people he's brought here to the White House, and he picks up the phone on a daily basis and calls people, but I don't have any calls to his National Basketball Association games.
Well, I haven't spoken with the president about the decision by Mark Cuban on the Dallas Mavericks, or I should say, the national anthem, but I know he's incredibly proud to be an American and has great respect for the anthem and all that it represents, especially for our men and women serving in uniform around the world.
He'd also say that, of course, that part of pride in our country means recognizing moments where we as a country haven't lived up to our highest ideals, which is often and at times what people are speaking to when they take action.
Lefties.
I assume you want her fired, right?
I mean, we've had incompetent people on our side.
And we kind of rolled our eyes and went, Jesus Christ, that's embarrassing.
Are you, how can you, I understand, actually, I don't understand.
I don't understand how you can back Biden.
I get that you hate Trump.
I totally understand that.
I've been there too myself many times.
But like backing Biden, enjoying Biden, every time they talk about why they like Biden, they just shit on Trump.
No one ever says anything good about Joe Biden.
Similarly, Jen Saki, how can anyone support that fucking imbecile?
And she's not just dumb, she's totally incompetent.
I have not spoken to the president about that, but I do know that he's very proud of this country and he loves being an American.
But I also know that America's fallen short.
We had slavery.
We killed some Indians.
We had Jim Crow.
You're a babysitter.
You're a babysitter who fucked up and had a party and everyone ran out the back, but you can still see empties everywhere.
And the parents who came home are going, oh, Jen, what the fuck's going on?
I did have a couple of people over.
They drank a lot of beers.
They were not good about cleaning up.
They are big drinkers.
I know it looks like there's a lot of people here.
There's only three or four people here.
And they were mostly helping me babysit.
They were giving me tips.
They worked in babysitting counseling.
And, oh, what's this?
Just a compilation of people regretting voting for Biden.
Oh, good.
He's wearing a $7,000 because it's his dead sons.
That's not a good insult.
Lower the stimulus.
That's good.
I want you to lower the stimulus.
And then Trump came along.
And Trump was supposed to clean up this mess.
The reason Trump was elected is because everyone saw what I'm talking about with the 2005, started with Larry Summers, started getting Win really got legs in 2008.
And then we had eight years of trans bullshit and fucking everyone's racist and Muslims.
Obama had the head of NASA go on a world tour to promote Arabs and their influence in mathematics.
What the fuck has that got to do with spaceships and going to the moon?
Help me out here.
So we dealt with all that shit.
He told us that we...
I remember one time there was some sort of terrorist attack and Obama goes, you know, we've made some mistakes too.
We're not perfect.
You know, look at the Crusades.
He was justifying Islamic extremism by implying it was a retaliation for the Crusades.
What?
What?
What are you talking about?
You should probably show what that's from.
What the hell are you talking about?
That clip?
Yeah.
I think you should leave nachos or something?
I think you should leave now with, what the hell is his name?
I love it.
Maybe it'll be on YouTube.
You shouldn't have to go all the way to Nachos.
Anyway, so Trump came along and we were all sick of this shit and we knew it was going to get bad.
Woke culture is expensive.
Next thing you know, you're paying for all these different programs.
Your kids are losing their sports.
Your daughter's getting beat up in wrestling by some trans man.
Track and field is over.
Women's sports is over.
You know that it's the end of Boy Scouts.
Oh, this is in Spanish.
I understand.
Well, it's I think you should leave now with Tim Robinson.
It's episode four.
We'll find it in English.
I think it's only on Netflix.
It's probably because they own it, and they're probably a little tight on it.
I get it on Netflix.
What the heck is going on here?
Yeah.
That was my first.
And so we all remember with Trump, he said the anchor baby thing, and that's when we all fell in love with him.
Sir, could you stop saying anchor baby people funny or fancy?
He's like, what?
It hadn't even occurred to him.
It's a well-known term.
It's the kind of term we used before 2005.
It was just a normal term.
I don't even think it's not even insulting like an anchor.
It sounds kind of good.
In fact, the guy I started an ad agency with, after we split up, he went and started a new company called Anchor.
It sounds good.
Solid.
You're in the ground.
Is that it?
One person can't take the ones with me.
No, you're going too far back.
Too far forward.
We did that so far.
Are you enjoying everything?
No, farther back.
All right.
It's kind of a long sketch, but...
It's the seasons.
But you know what?
Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't.
Excuse me for a second?
Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second?
How can I help you?
My date's eating all the fully loaded nachos.
All the ones with the meat, cheese, and everything.
The ones that are fully loaded, she's hogging them.
So I'm mostly getting just like just chips, like mostly just chips, like nothing on them, but like a little bit of cheese and maybe one little nugget of meat.
Okay.
Can you say something to her?
Say what?
Maybe go up the table and just say like, hey, stop that.
Or like, hey, that's not allowed.
You want me to go over and say, stop eating the meat on the chips?
No, just say the restaurant has a rule.
It's not you.
It's the rule the restaurant has that if you get an item.
Why isn't this guy more successful?
My only theory is that his nose is too big.
Maybe.
Like, I think he was in the Groundlings, which is sort of the farm team for SNL.
And I think Christian Wigg was with him, and all these people were with him.
And they all went off to SNL and had incredible careers, and he was left behind.
And the only solution I have, besides maybe he's an asshole, which I don't get the sense that he is, is his nose.
His nose is just too big for TV.
Too big for TV.
He was on the very, very talented, sir, but your nose is too big.
He was on a couple of SNL sketches, but it did not last long.
But he wasn't a guy.
No.
Honey?
I think you got your right over.
Did you find everything okay?
Yeah.
It's a great drive, isn't it?
Have any leaves started to turn?
Because they're so beautiful when they start to turn.
Yeah, his nose doesn't look that bad.
Are you guys about to perform something?
Yeah, is that okay with you?
Sure, yeah.
Great.
Welcome to our home, Tom.
There's someone we'd like to introduce you to.
The truth entering the forest.
Horny, stupid, get out of my life.
Yuck.
I killed that guy's brother.
Who?
That dude there.
Joseph Gordon Levitt?
Yeah, I killed his brother.
Why'd you do that?
I didn't mean to.
We were just making fun of him a bunch, and he committed suicide.
Oh, well, that's not really your fault.
But he was doing like this yoga shit, and he was talking about tantric medicine and his soul and higher planes.
And I couldn't help but make fun of him.
He had it coming.
Till he killed himself.
Yeah.
It was going to happen eventually.
You just happened to have done it.
Oops.
Sorry, Joseph.
Not your fault.
Just eat all the fully loaded ones.
Like, don't look around.
Find the one with the most meat and always eat that one.
Can't you just ask her to share with you?
You're just saying the restaurant has a rule?
I don't know.
Maybe it's just me, but I'm like, play your hits.
Like, don't play the new stuff.
Yeah.
I totally agree.
You go to a concert, you want to hear the songs you love.
Right, exactly.
Like, give me the good jumps.
You want to sing along.
Totally.
This is really fun.
This is so fun.
Glad we did this.
Are you enjoying everything?
You're enjoying everything.
Okay.
Because we have a rule here that if you order nachos to share, one person can't just see it all the full believe noted nachos.
What's that?
Say that again?
Maybe that should be a drop-down.
It's a rule that basically says: if two people order nachos to share, one person can't take the ones with meat and stuff.
You got up, you talked to him for a long time, and then the minute you sit down, he comes over and says that the restaurant has this rule.
No restaurant has a rule about who gets to eat what.
What?
I went up there.
Okay, that's enough.
We should do a show, an Evergreen show, that just covers all of the drops.
Yeah, we should.
That's a good one.
Because they all come from something wonderful.
They all sure do.
We don't just pull a fucking diamond out of a big pile of shit.
Congratulations.
So Obama took this bullshit, esoteric, woke garbage, SJW shit, and he codified it.
He made it into law.
And America went, what the fuck's happening to my country?
This is stupid.
So then Trump shows up.
He's using the word anchor baby.
Excuse me, could you use the term lazy infensive, please?
Could you pie me?
You sugar Biba.
And he goes, okay, well, what should it be?
You should say the American-born citizen of undocumented warrior.
And Trump just goes, no, that takes too long.
I'm just going to say anchor baby.
And we all went, good.
We're going back to 95, basically 80 to 95.
We're going back.
Let's make America great again.
This is awesome.
And he fought and fought, and God bless his cotton socks.
He was like that patriot dude who was waving the flag in the storm in Florida, and the wind was blowing past him, and I think he had jean shorts on, and he was just waving the flag.
That's who Trump was for four years, trying, protecting us.
He said, they're not trying to get to me.
They're trying to get to you.
I'm just standing in the way.
That was Trump for four years with up against this culture war horse shit.
And eventually he got blown away.
The wind took him.
And now they've got to us.
Now they want to prosecute everyone who went to D.C. on January 6th, no matter what they did.
Fuck the guy who broke the window with the police shield.
They want to get your mom, who wasn't even near the Capitol.
She was just waving an American flag, wearing a MAGA hat.
They want to throw the book at her.
And they make up stories like Trump was dictating how the riot should go through via an earpiece.
Meanwhile, I believe he was doing a speech as they were invading the Capitol.
Yep.
So he was like, we have to stand up for what we believe in.
Go into the Capitol right now and storm.
And we have to be brave and know that this country can never be destroyed.
Get into the Capitol right now, smash it and grab a police shield.
Why does the president keep talking into his lapel during this speech?
Boom, these explosions are bullshit.
That limp sinking is way off.
It is.
Boom, these explosions are bullshit.
It wrecks the whole drop.
We'll fix.
Please do.
And now it's worse than Obama.
Now it's fucking Justin Trudeauville.
And they want revenge.
They want revenge.
They didn't like this four-year break.
They want to punish us.
They want re-education camps.
And some are capitulating.
Some are saying, yes, I did call my golf ball a fag.
And that's because I'm a homophobe.
So the way I'm going to fix that is to go to a re-education camp where you tell me how to think.
Seems reasonable.
So we're in some crazy times.
My buddy today said, calm down, Gavin.
The re-education camps are coming to an end, or at least that mentality is.
Most Americans are going, look, you won.
We're not doing the revenge thing.
You won.
We gave you some tranny cabinet members, but you need to fuck off now and sit down and shut the fuck up.
I don't know.
That's a good theory.
This guy's rarely wrong about stuff.
But I think we're living in the era of the crazy ex-girlfriend.
And that sort of, that meshes up with what I was talking about recently with this American divorce.
We're going to move to different areas.
There's not going to be red state, blue state.
There's going to be red county, blue county.
And nary the two shall meet.
We'll have our own shows, our own radio, our own news.
Thanksgiving's going to be a bitch, And Christmas will always be a bitch because families have been torn apart.
But outside of those, you don't talk to them, you don't meet them.
Facebook is dead.
So it's just going to be two separate universes.
But Gavin, earlier on the show, you said that the younger generations are seeing all this truth with their obsession with reality and live videos and all that stuff.
So isn't that bringing the country together?
Yeah.
But those are young people.
The majority of the population are the boomers.
And the boomers are divorced.
It's definitely not a boring time, I'll tell you that much.
The next four years are going to be very telling because the lunatics are running the asylum and America is fucking sick of lunatics.
So we'll see.
Should we start taking some kizzalls?
Sure.
Real quick, remember what happened to Shane Gillis?
Shane Gillis was on the podcast with Tommy Pope and they're trying to get him in trouble.
Well, not really targeting him, targeting the company for the Whip It Out commercial during the Super Bowl.
So that's Tommy Pope.
He's friends with Shane Gillis, had a podcast with him.
Oh, please, it's not that podcast.
She'll only give me a second.
Tommy, not everyone in this office wants your opinion.
Okay.
Well, how about you?
Last week at Happy Hour when you begged me for my opinion.
I had a picture of Margaritas.
I would have taken Doug's opinion.
It's like dick jokes.
No!
We can't protect your opinion, but we can protect your opinion.
Saying whip it out and stuff, and then people are freaking out.
What's the matter with the fucking dick joke?
Jesus age Christ.
You know what's good about that dick joke is the thing that's bad about offensive comedy on TV is you don't want to be sitting next to your eight-year-old and having to explain what a blowjob is or what a 69 is.
That would offend me as a dad.
Sorry, folks.
I know it's not very punk rock.
But that is cloaked in enough innuendo that I wouldn't have to explain it to my eight-year-old.
You're talking about his opinion.
He would just be like, that's an opinion.
That's an opinion.
Oh, by the way.
The company has 80% female staff.
It wasn't just me that killed Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brother.
It was me and Justin Thoreau.
And that, I forget what we were doing.
Maybe we were on Twitter or something, or maybe it was on street carnage, but we were making fun of him.
What was his name?
But this sort of dovetails into what I was talking about with the what?
What?
Because I went to lunch at the Chateau Marmal with Justin Thoreau and Jennifer Anniston.
Ooh.
Yep.
Yep.
His brother Dan.
10 years?
That was 10 years ago?
Jesus.
I killed that guy a long time ago.
Allegedly.
But what's see if you can find any of his Dan Levitt videos.
They were so embarrassing, so cringe.
I mean, it must suck if you were interested in showbiz and your brother's an incredibly successful showman.
But anyway, I can't remember exactly how we were making fun of him, but it crushed him.
And I feel bad about that.
But we were at the Chateau Marmal having lunch, and then that crazy bitch who was like on America's next top model as a judge.
She's a hot mess.
I'm not doing a very good job here.
Hold on.
Let's catch up.
Oh, that was the yoga stuff and the gay stuff and the...
Yeah, I mean, you can see the guy's begging for ridicule.
He did fire sticks and stuff.
Oh, yeah, poi.
I mean, you can't not make fun of him.
But who's that chick who's had tons of plastic surgery and was a judge on America's Next Stop Model?
You don't know anything, so you wouldn't know.
She was obviously a fucking knockout.
Black or white?
80s?
White.
And she's a drug addict.
You look at him, judge?
What the fuck's her name?
This could slow down the show pretty badly because I'm not going to give it up.
Put the color.
There she is.
Where?
Right there.
Above my head.
Okay, here.
Oh, yeah.
Fucking what's her face?
Ah, shh.
What's her name again?
Of course.
I know who you're talking about.
Damn it.
Facelift.
So you'll recognize her.
Janice Dickinson.
Janice Dickinson.
That's it.
So she comes over to the table.
And first she's waving, hey guys, hi.
And they're like, hello.
And then she comes over and she starts pissing in Jen's ear.
And she goes, that's my boyfriend over there.
He's like kind of punk or whatever.
But I was looking for you.
We were talking at that party at Sam's, Sam Joseph's party, naming some guy.
Like, how do you not make fun of this dude?
How to be crazy?
From looking at him.
That's how crazy he is.
It's a lot of the people I know.
It's given me a network of people around the world that I adore.
The main reason I started teaching this is...
Do you mean what?
Fire sticks?
I teach flow arts.
Oh, it's flowarts.
You stand corrected.
What's flow arts?
Oh, you know, farts?
Yeah.
I teach it more like a.
It's a way to fart in a musical way that doesn't hurt your anal lips.
Yeah, it flows.
It's when you fart and you go...
Being a rock star, but it's also...
It's not easy to learn, and it's harder to teach.
Anyway, so she comes up and she's blathering on, and it's embarrassing, and her boyfriend is back there hoping to get invited over, and she's leaning down.
And I realize at that moment that everyone has someone below them that's annoying.
Like, say you're a voush or you're a Dungeons and Dragons guy or something, like we would consider the biggest losers in the world.
Like the guy who wrote that article, what's his name?
Seth Simons.
Seth Simons has a dude below him that's like, oh my God, it's great to meet you.
I read your article about alt-right and clowny.
It's so good.
And then Seth's like, oh, Jesus Christ, here we go again.
And that goes all the way up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, to the very top.
Like, there's someone, I don't know, the Princess of Monaco sees George Clooney come over and she's like, oh, for fuck's sake, there's that Hollywood faggot coming over again.
Hi, George.
Hey.
And Jennifer was suffering through Janice.
So then a staff member comes up and he goes, excuse me, Mr. Justin, you have a collect call here.
You have to take it on the landline.
So he gets up to take it.
And the guy goes, do you want me to get rid of her?
And he goes, yeah.
So then Justin sits back down and then the waiter gives it a few seconds and he comes over and he goes, Janice, I'm sorry, you're going to have to take your chair back.
And exactly like the dude in that sketch, Justin and I think, I don't know if Jem was in on it, but Justin and I, I guess I didn't know.
So I guess mostly Justin was just going, what?
What are you talking?
No, he was acting like, okay, I don't know why this waiter is being addicted to Dennis, but I guess you're supposed to leave.
I guess they have a rule here about nacho chips with too much meat on them.
Well, I'll be hitting you not hogging them.
Sorry.
Bye.
And she scurried away back to her chair, and he got away with it scot-free.
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
So that is Justin and I killed Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brother.
And then that story at the Marmont is exactly the same as the nacho story.
Everything comes together, folks.
You turn around.
You turn around.
And you go the other way.
You turn around.
I feel like that gets cut off too soon.
I'm sorry to be shitting on your drops.
It's okay.
I'm crappin' on drops.
Turn around.
Maybe that should be the name of today's show.
Crappin' on drops.
Or flow arts.
Flow arts is pretty good.
I teach flow arts.
I wouldn't be surprised if nothing comes up when you Google flow arts.
Let's see.
Flow arts.
You want me to Google it or not?
Hi, Dad.
I know I'm getting older, and you think I'm a failure.
There's an institute.
Oh, no, it's a whole institute.
It's a whole institute.
Flow arts is a general term used to describe the intersection of a variety of movement-based disciplines, including dance, juggling, fire spinning, and object manipulation.
The broad category flow arts includes a variety of pursuits that harmonize skill-based techniques with creative expression to achieve a state of present-moment awareness known as flow.
Common forms of flow arts include poi and staff spinning, hula hoop or hooping, juggling, sphere manipulation or contact juggling, and fan dance.
New props and expressions are emerging all the time as flow artists cross-pollinate with martial arts, yoga, circus, belly dance, and beyond.
Holy shit.
That hit my town after the EDM stuff, after all that, like the dubstep, and it was flow arts.
Oh, dude, let me see if I could find it.
You know what I bet?
I bet it's heavily influenced by meth.
I bet Burning Man is a meth thing.
You're up for, like, you're only there for three days.
You've been waiting all year.
You're not going to waste your time sleeping.
They're on meth at Burning Man.
And what do you do on meth?
You obsess with one little thing.
Oops.
I suck at flow arts.
Flarts.
Flarts.
You're just constantly like, vm, voom, vm.
And you have the patience.
And the next thing you know, after seven hours of doing this, you're doing like some cool voom, voom, vampo, voom, boom, vamp boom, voom, boom.
Just look up flow arts on YouTube.
That's all.
There was this chick that I was trying to look for it, but I'll look it up.
Damn it.
I know this person.
Flow arts.
I know somebody personally who just so proud of themselves.
They think they've learned like some sort of engineering degree.
Flow arts, a film.
Look at that font.
Remember that clip with the guy in the wheelchair putting out the fire?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ew, look at this.
Oh, cool.
It's impressive.
Like, I can't do that.
Like, everything else I feel like I could do.
Let's teach kids flow arts.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's smart.
What is this?
You're in a bag?
What's that?
What is that?
Yeah, you're right.
Oh.
Okay, that's hard.
That's just juggling.
I wonder if we have any flow art viewers.
And they're just, we officially cancel your subscription.
Wait, I want to hear what he has to say.
But he has an Australian accent.
When you ask, what are flow arts?
You know, I'm a flow artist and I'm in the flow arts community.
What we're talking about are different types of working with props.
Circus arts, juggling, spinning things.
Taking an object and doing something beyond function, like a fork and using it to eat, is not a flow art.
Is that Rome default?
And in the flow, well, then I am doing flow arts.
But generally, flow arts is working, dancing, playing, manipulating a prop.
A dick.
Wait, I want more.
Oh, geez.
You know what?
We do have a problem.
Her name's Brie Fish.
That ain't good.
Anyone involved in flow art deserves never to get laid again.
I know a cool dude that watches the show that does this.
Really?
Yes.
I think he wouldn't mind a plug, too.
The Mighty, Mighty Bro Show or something.
He's a cool guy.
Wrong.
No, he really is cool.
He's like, he does, you know, juggling and stuff like that.
What are you looking up there, dude?
The Mighty.
God, your brain is just a fucking dead rat.
You're pulling up a bunch of Mario pictures.
I'll find it.
I'll find it.
We got callers on the line, though.
Yeah, I know.
It's the call-in part of the show.
You want to take one?
Sure.
Alrighty.
Alrighty.
How medium light broken ribs are getting worse.
Hey, what's up, Gavin?
What's up, Rice Guy?
Can you guys hear me?
Hello.
Okay, so I want to run through this real quick.
I'm only going to ask one question.
I'm not going to try to sneak in three or four, okay?
Just ask a fucking question.
All right, sorry.
So you recently had, you talked about having John Kavanaugh on, which was Connor's trainer.
Yeah.
So that interested me on subscribing to Compound Media.
So I subscribed and I started watching all of the older episodes.
I just wanted to know, whatever happened with Luciana Gatika, that girl, Luciana Gatika, and the Southern girls.
Do you still have contact with them?
No.
I think Luciana Deltika, I think she hooked up with a dude.
I think she got married.
Hmm.
And then the Southern girls, whatever.
They were party gals and I wasn't fucking them.
So why keep in touch?
That's it?
That's why you called?
No, no, no.
I noticed because I've been watching the first 30 episodes and you were a lot nicer to your callers.
So I just thought I'd keep in mind.
Well, fuck you.
Goodbye.
Later, dude.
He's funny.
That's Mikey.
Mikey.
Did their podcast.
I noticed you were a lot nicer to your callers, McNann.
Him and Anduce.
Anduce.
Why are you so mean to your callers?
Mark, Barfight.
What's up, bro?
Hello?
Hello?
What's up, Not the Tears?
Hey, what's up?
So, this relates to your, I guess, supposed murder that you had earlier, you're talking about.
But I work in a shop, automotive shop.
Pretty much grew up there for the most part, as far as my adult career goes.
So wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
So your dad owns the shop or something?
No, no, no, no, no.
I just got hired pretty much out of high school.
So almost 30.
I'm 30 now, pretty much.
And what kind of stuff do you do there?
What kind of stuff do you do at the shop?
Automotive repair.
What?
Automotive repair.
Like what?
Like anything.
Engines, transmissions, rebuilds.
I work actually at the dealer, so I don't want to list the brand or anything.
But yeah.
Oh, you'll repair a transmission?
Yeah, we'll tear them apart, rebuild them, rebuild engines, whatever you want.
I mean, down, customer comes in for an oil change or whatever it is, we do it all.
Well, I mean, the dealer does it.
I mean, like, I'm not going to list the brand, but, you know, yeah.
So transmissions are a bitch, aren't they?
No, not too much.
It depends.
You just got to know what you're doing.
But either way, the point is, so the riffraff and the common kind of going at each other all the time is a normalcy.
But there was one guy that got hired, and he didn't really click well with the rest of the shop.
I'm pretty much a nice guy.
I get along with anybody.
But even me and him kind of had our issues.
So I was at my local spot in and drinking, doing my thing.
My wife was on the other side of the bar with our friend, and I ventured off to the other side.
There's two sections.
Went over there, and I saw, hey, my buddy's here.
Correct buddy, guy that I work with.
So I start talking shit with him.
He had been drinking.
I had been drinking.
And long story short, we kind of get into the whole like, hey, what's up, you piece of shit?
Yeah, fuck you, blah, blah, blah.
And then that builds and builds.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What set it off?
How'd you go from friendly to fuck you?
That's just a normal kind of like, hey, what's up, asshole?
Oh, what's up, dickhead?
And then it was just kind of like, yeah, you know what?
And then it just kind of, the asshole and dickhead became more and more serious.
So there really was no reason behind it that it should have gone that way, but it just did.
I get you.
The drinking banter got excessive.
And then next thing you know, we kind of got in a little scuffle.
And I remember the last thing I told him, and I kind of feel bad about it, was like, I'm going to fucking kill you, motherfucker, or something along those lines.
And then we left the bar.
And the next day, I don't know, Saturday night.
So Monday, I go back to work, and I'm working on a car.
I'm doing whatever.
And then they're like, his best friend that also works at the shop came up, yeah, man, I'm really sorry about what happened.
I'm like, we told him, he's like, oh, well, you know, Rob died.
And I was like, wait, what?
They found him face down in the river the next night.
So then all my buddies, I mean, obviously I had nothing to do with it.
He had a drug problem.
But all my buddies were like, you said you were going to kill him.
And I'm just saying, you know, he ended up dead.
And I was like, okay, hold on.
They must have suspected foul play.
Because if he ends up dead and you're the last guy who had a fight with him, I mean, you're a prime suspect.
Did the police question?
That's what I thought.
I was like, no, but he had been spotted around town after the fact.
But, I mean, all my friends give me shit to this day.
Like, that one time you killed Rob.
And I'm like, okay, that's a bad.
I don't go around as a fucking murderer or something.
You did.
You fucked up.
But that's all they're correlated pretty good.
Wait, kill Rob, Axel.
Rob Killer.
Rob Killer.
Rob Killer.
Rob Killer.
Rob Killer.
Rob Killer.
That sounds like two instructions for one woman.
Rob Killer.
Azalea Banks.
I forgot to say my name.
I have Curtis.
I'm calling this out.
Azalea Banks.
Oh, okay.
Just the fact he never brought it up makes me think you didn't know about this.
But did you see the fucking new Azalea Banks video where she digs up her cat that's been dead for two months, performs some witchcraft with it, and she's boiling it on her stove in her fucking kitchen.
And the water turns to like a black spludge.
And with a ladle, she scoops out her dead cat's skeleton.
Yes, I have seen that video.
She's making some sort of voodoo, fucking weird potion that involves a dead cat.
Or it's probably like the body of someone you loved or some shit.
But yeah, that is really fucking freaky.
I mean, I know you're happy that she's not boring, but geez, that's really too fur.
That's really, really not boring.
Just try to be a little bit more boring than that, Azealia.
Just a tiny bit more boring.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
Okay, just wanted to make sure you saw that video.
Okay, you know, I met her with Milo once.
Thanks for calling.
And she was really interesting, although her and fucking Milo's husband started talking about astrology, which is like the death knell of any conversation.
The flow arts of conversation.
The flow arts of convos.
So I felt bad about that because they sort of went off on their own thing talking about fucking Mercury rising and all this crap.
Sorry, John.
Mercury.
But I said, why don't you get her on the fucking show, Milo?
Like, his guests have been pretty shitty.
His show is getting better, ironically, as his guests get worse.
But yeah, he could have...
I'd love him to have her on.
He just had Rachel Fulton Brown.
I know, that's like his best friend.
I'm not impressed.
That's like me having fucking the helicopter pilot on.
Let's see, we got who?
Sergio, talking about a fart.
Talking about a fart!
Favorite Van Halen song?
Hello, buddy.
Hey, Lendy Buddy.
Hey, fucking buddy.
Hey, I got an idea for Book of the Day.
Okay.
Have you ever heard of the book Harassment Architecture?
No, he's never heard of that.
What's it called?
Harassment Architecture.
No, I've never heard of that.
What's it about?
It's by Mike Ma, who was, I believe, Milo's assistant, or something to do with Milo.
I think he'd really like it.
It's kind of written like The Death of Cool.
I mean, I think he kind of has your writing style a little bit.
Really light, easy to read.
It's like 115 pages.
It's kind of about accelerationism.
It's a cool book.
All right.
I don't know.
I think you're going to have to.
Go check it out.
Thanks for the call.
Thanks for the suggestion.
Later, Gator.
I could have sworn you'd heard about that book, so I was kidding.
I was being sarcastic that you didn't hear.
No, I did not know it.
Yeah.
No, yeah, it was definitely at least in part influenced by you.
He's definitely a big fan.
Oh, yeah.
Mike Ma.
Let's see.
Yeah.
Maybe that was Mike Ma.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
How do you know?
Because that's a Sergio.
We know each other on Instagram, and he's called and it shows the screening thing.
And I know somebody who knows Mike Ma.
It doesn't sound like that.
He does a little bit of Josh LaCash's artwork, though.
And stuff like that.
We got...
Who the hell is this?
Leslie or Matt?
One of those.
Leslie or Matt?
You're on the line.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
What's up?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hi, so.
I was talking to my friend's friend, and he's this super lefty guy.
You know, he's one of those Bernie brothers who says true socialism has never been tried.
Oh, I'm so tired of that fucking trope.
And so he said something that I've never heard even the craziest lefty say before.
He said he was talking about far-right violence, and I said, you know, left-green violence has been much worse.
And he said, no one has died from Antifa efforts.
That was his claim.
And that's why I put that video together where I broke down the 30 deaths.
Oh, sorry.
There's been 30 deaths from the BLM Antifa riots.
That includes cops, retired cops, people shot.
But as far as Antifa goes, and especially when you include suicide, you have, what is that now?
8, 9, 10.
There have been 10 deaths from Antifa.
At least, I mean, that stops...
I mean, the one that killed the Patriot Prayer guy wasn't even in there.
This was a...
Oh, yeah, that was pre-Patriot Prayer.
Yeah, and this is pre-BLM, right?
See, this is February 10th, 2020.
So next time someone says that, say, what about Jay Bishop?
Okay?
Yeah, it's crazy.
What we have to do as not lefts is we have to have these names and these stats ready because they've never heard of this shit.
And so it's beholden upon you to be able to quickly say, what about Jay Bishop?
What about the 30 murdered riots?
That's the part about carrying a little book with me with statistics.
Yeah, you should have notes on your phone.
just take that link that Ryan just showed, write down those names and have it on your show notes.
I mean, your show notes.
Have it on your phone's notes.
You know what I used to do when I used to hang out with lefties is I'd say, that's not true.
I'll email you later.
And later I would email them things.
Like my lawyer buddy, who said that Marjorie Green, whatever, followed a child that was at Sandy Hook and said it didn't happen.
And she also said that Democrats drink the blood of children.
And then I looked them up and I found, no, there was a crazy rant where she had commented, this is all true, on Facebook at 2 in the morning with a glass of wine in her hand.
And then the following this Sandy Hook kid, she was following David Hogg and he was asking for it.
So neither of those were true.
But then you email the liberal who told you that, those two things, and say, those two things you told me are bullshit.
Here's why.
And they never, ever, they never go, holy shit.
Wow.
That was a wake-up call.
I wonder what else that I know is something that I don't know.
Even if you catch him with it, you're like, no, this was an assassination, but Jay Bizzard, oh, he was a Nazi.
Oh, yeah, I guess that's such a real loss.
Like, so they won't even, even if you do nail it, like, yeah, like, remember that Antifa guy in DC where I go, Trayvon picked a fight with that fucking guy, with George Zimmerman, and was beating the living shit out of him.
And he goes, oh, so you should die for being in a fight?
No.
Okay.
No.
All right.
That's not what I'm saying.
All right.
Thanks for calling.
Auto screen failed.
Lewis.
Hey, what's up, gang?
What's up, Gucci, Gucci, Gucci, gang?
Gucci gang, gang, gang, dance.
What's up, bros?
Yo, Bronus.
Hey, Gav, I have a question for you.
Actually, some advice.
I actually want to ask you for some advice.
Okay.
I guess I'm a painter for the most part, a creative guy.
I've had my ups and downs in the contemporary art scene.
What's your initial of your first name?
What's my first name?
The initial of your first name.
First initial, first name.
Why do you want to know that?
Because I'm seeing if I know who you are, because you sent me a letter recently.
No, no, I didn't.
I haven't sent you a letter.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay.
I haven't.
No, this is honest.
This is cool.
But I am interested in...
I've always wanted to participate in the contemporary art scene and stuff.
But we all know that most of the people in the art business is like they're liberal freaks.
I have some more conservative values.
I was wondering how I should tap dance around that kind of thinking to better myself and maybe make a living.
Yeah, I think if you want to be successful in the contemporary art world and you're mega, the only way that you could approach that would be with humor, where people can't tell if you're serious or not.
Because if you just come out and say, I love Trump, I want smaller government, I am a fiscal conservative, I hate Barack Obama, you can't go anywhere.
You'll be dead in the water.
And I always say, get fired, get in trouble at the end of the show.
So it's either get fired on your first day or be enigmatic and have people unable to figure out where you're coming from.
That's a good compromise, I think.
Yeah, I think so too.
Most of the time I think of myself as not trying to bank on being exceptionally popular or anything.
I just want to make work.
But I do, there's part of me who does want some recognition, but we all know these art business people are not playing ball with any of us.
So it's a hard thing to grasp.
And as a lover of art, I don't want my artists to divulge where they're coming from.
It kind of ruins it.
You know, a great thing about the movie Get Out is as a lefty, you can see that and go, see, that's what it's like to be black.
They want to steal black bodies.
They want to just appropriate black culture and they want to take them over.
And then I see it as a conservative, and I'm like, yeah, this is a great lampoon of leftist paranoia and how they think that white people want to eat their souls and take their bodies.
It's a parody of the modern perception of racism.
Or that movie.
Yeah, it's a.
Sorry, go ahead.
No, I just, I know you're right.
I just thought it was a bit boring, but go ahead.
Yeah, or that movie, The Manor or The Hunt or whatever, where they have a fake rich person's estate somewhere in Eastern Europe, and they hunt Trump supporters.
Remember that?
It got banned, and then they brought it back.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel the exact same way.
Hey, Ryan, real quick.
Hey, how good is Creed, bro?
How good is Creed?
The movie Creed?
Thanks for calling.
It's great.
It's great to keep in touch with you.
Or the movie The Hunt, that movie you just showed.
So the lefties see that and they go, yeah, fucking hunt those Trump supporters.
Kill them.
Fucking kill them.
And I watch that movie and I go, this is what liberals secretly want.
They want to hunt us.
They want to release us into the woods and give us some guns and then shoot at us.
So the beauty of those two pieces of art is both interpretations are fine And you get to both sides of the spectrum get to enjoy them.
Here's a portrait I did of Cuomo.
Whoa.
Pretty fucking good.
Yeah?
His face is a little too fucking vertical.
You rat bastard.
I gotta hear that.
Not fucking good, you fucking rat stump egg.
Fucking fag.
Fig.
Fucking fig.
Hey, John Matzey was supposed to come on the show, and he's ghosting me.
Let's see if we can get him on now.
That's some straight-up boom.
Shit.
More.
There was something about more Seth Simmons stuff.
We didn't have tabs open for that.
Did you want that?
The Aaliyah Janine calling out really disappointed to the Gothamists for hiring sexual harasser Sass Simmons.
Yada yada.
Then the Luis J. Gomez talking about him.
Wait, what are we talking about?
These are a couple of unturned stones in the links that you sent me.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no.
I don't need those stones turned.
I don't want to give this guy too much credit.
Shoot at.
Alright, we got Russ.
Alright.
Russ is on the line.
You.
Yo, Russ.
You.
What?
What?
What's up?
What?
Yo, thanks for taking my call, guys.
I'm celebrating seven years off heroin today, so it's a nice little celebration.
Oh, that's good to hear.
Good news, buddy.
Thank you.
So, I just wanted to call and ask Gav, have you ever seen people argue about fucking circumcision online on fucking social media or whatever?
Because I'm like you.
I got the elephant trunk.
And every once in a while, I'll see a meme.
Like, there's one where there's this doctor and a woman in bed, and he's like, congratulations, ma'am.
You have a beautiful baby boy.
And she says, oh, great.
Cut the skin off its dick for no reason.
And then I look below and all these fucking people were just at war with each other talking about how it's, you know, whatever.
It's unclean.
It's blah, blah, blah.
It just cracks me the fuck up that all these mangy cunts who fucking say my body and my choice go and fucking rant about circumcision.
I don't know if you ever saw any of that shit.
Just yeah, well, you gotta understand, this is someone's dick.
So for them to say circumcision is wrong is to say my dick is wrong.
And that's really uncomfortable for someone, especially when they did it to their kid.
So you're gonna have all these moms that chop the tip of their kid's dick off trying to defend themselves because to admit that you did something that wrong, that wrong is devastating.
And when it's your own penis to say, this is fucked up, I'm maimed, that's too much for someone to admit.
I'm maimed.
Yeah, that's a good point.
That's gotta be it.
You probably realize what the fuck you did after you witnessed your kid dying the first moments of its life.
That adds up.
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks for calling, buddy.
Congrats.
Oh, shit.
I wonder if you could have gave some advice.
What?
About what?
To heroin user listeners.
We got Chance talking about Keen of the Fucking Peel.
Fellas, hello.
Hello.
Have you seen the new Keen Peel video?
It's called Meeting Bigoted Parents.
It's really funny.
Also, stop making fun of FlowArt.
It's really cool.
You just don't get it.
Okay.
All right.
I get it.
You're a fag.
Don't Daniel Joseph levit yourself.
Yeah.
Joseph.
Oh, no.
I was going to make a levitation joke.
Oh, I've seen this one.
Yeah.
I didn't know it was new in the past two days.
I know.
I've been binge-watching them.
But is this new?
It was new.
February 1st, 2021.
NFPs.
He's got a million views already.
What can I say?
It was love at first sight, and we've been together ever since.
I like his 50s outfit.
Yeah.
Yes, she always has had her own way of doing things.
Okay.
I see what's going on here.
Honey.
You don't approve of our engagement.
No, they're not like that.
I'm sorry, but yes, they are like that.
Look at their faces.
Look at their faces.
There's no point in trying to reason with folks who can't appreciate the differences in others.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
That's funny.
She's fine.
I cannot believe that you would bring a colored man into our house.
He's gone now.
That is interesting.
Writing on that show is so fucking high quality.
But was that...
So that's Key and Peele?
So does that mean they're going to be putting out sketches?
I hope to F so.
If I do say so myself.
It's so fucking funny, those two guys.
I almost never laugh at sketch comedy, but wow.
It's smart and retarded at the same time.
It's beautiful.
Times article somebody talking about.
Oh, the Times article about the election fraud?
Hello.
Yes.
Hey, I just sent you an email, Ryan.
It's got the Times article.
Gotcha.
We're all very familiar with it.
Oh, okay.
I didn't see you bring it up on the show, I thought.
I have not brought it up on the show yet.
You're correct.
What do you think of it?
What do you think about it?
I think it's amazing.
They accidentally spilt the beans, and they said, yes, we were working behind the scenes to change the way the elections are done, but it wasn't tampering.
It was fortifying.
We were Fortifying the election, making it stronger.
They were not rigging the election, they were fortifying it.
And they believe the public needs to understand the system's fragility in order to ensure that democracy in America endures.
They're bragging about stealing it, I feel like.
I don't know.
You know what Jack Pesovi brought up on Timpool?
He said, there are some people that can't just get away with something.
It's like they got away with this big thing.
Everybody can see it, but they can't get credit for it.
It's like returning to the scene of the crime.
It's like there's something in that pathology like, here, we did it.
We fucking did it.
You know?
Yeah, they want their money's worth.
Yeah, it's a pretty incredible article.
And it's funny that they wrote it to talk about how awesome they are.
Meanwhile, they're admitting that they stole the fucking election.
Thanks for calling.
We'll probably talk about that tomorrow a little bit more.
I've got a lot backed up here.
We've sort of changed the way the show is done, wherein we riff more and go off of tangents more, which means that the basic news falls behind in some stories we don't get to as much.
We'll see if that works.
I'm trying out new things.
I like it a little bit more, being a little more riffy.
You know, Anthony, when he does his show, I think he'll send Garrett like five articles.
Maybe not even get to him.
And maybe not even get to them.
On Tuesday, we had 60 different links.
When Artie was on the show, it was...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I still have that email.
Oh, it was Tony Curtis.
Did I ever tell you about Tony Curtis?
It's a jukeboard.
Feel like those girls doing a parody of Key and Peele's.
Ooh, okay.
If you thought Key and Peele are good, you know the Key and Peel thing where they talk about Deshanqua Jenkins and all that?
Well, these two young ladies are way funnier than Key and Peele, and you know how women are funnier than men.
So they did a parody of it where they did cheerleaders.
Welcome to the East West College Blog.
Cheerball.
Mission Shara Barbow.
Jewish Theological Seminary.
Taylor P, University of South Florida.
Taylor L, Florida Municipal University.
Taylor R, Florida State University.
Taylor BP, Florida Gulf Coast University.
Taylor Q, University of Tampa.
Maria Bosco, University of Miami.
God's Saint, Georgia Tech University.
Moldova Moldovi.
And over Newton Theological School in Massachusetts.
I mean, if you're going to parry something that's really good, you better bring out the big guns.
And they have like seven wigs from a wig store, from a Halloween store, and then the same shirts.
And like, the thing about the Keympio one is those names were plausible.
They're believable.
No one's named Tammy Joe Peach Cobbler Hancock.
They had some ridiculous ones in there, like Chiminy R-buckle fire truck or some shit.
But it was funny because that's like these aren't, I don't know what they're doing.
But the other sports one, they were like, hey, and I don't know, cheerleaders, are they known for having fucked up names?
No.
They're not.
Yeah, like, what the fuck?
No, they're not.
Like, risky.
Like, I thought it was funny.
The first one...
No, not that one.
Like, Taylor P, and then they had Taylor L. Like, that's funny.
So I guess a lot of girls in Florida named Taylor.
Okay.
That's the joke.
That's the highest form of any sort of joke in this thing.
Call and jump acupuncture and Oreanal medicine.
My name is Taylor Kiersten.
Because it's funny to have emotions.
Oreo medicine, did she say?
Something like that.
I am here with Osman Saz Budsek, the rookie out of Stanford University.
Let's take a couple more calls.
Okay.
Bin 36, or is it 30 out 6?
What is this?
30 out 6.
Uhuru.
Uhuru.
Uhuru.
Hey, guys.
I'm long time caller, first time listener, just wondering.
I know you got an M1A or something like that.
I'd like to see some sort of footage.
You take your eye guy out on the range or something.
It would be good to see.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I went to the range the other day.
God, it's so fucking loud.
I only had little foam earplugs.
And I kept going, ah, ah.
Because these big guns, the big gun range, there's like handguns and stuff.
Yeah.
Big gun range.
You've got to get the noise cancelers.
Was that Mitch Hedberg?
You have to get the noise cancelers.
Otherwise, it will be loud.
Thanks for calling.
Good tip.
Man, I went into gun range.
I pulled the trigger, man.
It was loud.
You have to put ear cover on.
You know that guns are that loud.
You have to put a silencer on it.
They're making a Patrice O'Neill documentary.
They got that coming out on Comedy Central.
Oh, cool.
It'll be pretty cool.
Patrice O'Neill, the guy, I think he's deep down.
He's kind of insecure in that he would get a gig.
Like he had a great show with Comedy Central, and it was Michael Hirshhorn was the producer who's produced tons of shows.
And then at the pitch meeting, as they were solidifying and signing the deal, Patrice O'Neill fires Michael Hirshhorn.
He just sabotaged his whole deal.
Threw it down the toilet.
Yeah, he did a lot of self-sabotaging.
And they speculate as to why in the thing.
Robbie.
Can I call you Robbie?
What's up, Robbie?
Oh, that's awesome.
What's up?
You're off.
Yeah, another mechanic here.
So I was just wondering if you were thinking about ever moving to Virginia.
Oh, yeah, that's definitely on my map.
Where Cassandra Fairbanks and Tim Pooler.
You know, there's like a lot of things started and ended in Virginia.
You know what I mean?
Like, I think what happened in Charlottesville was like a big symbol of a kickoff of something that we'll see in the history books forever.
They're always going to go back to that.
And I grew up here.
I went to the, you know, I didn't go to UVA, but I went to the football games all the time.
And, you know, it kind of crushes that, you know, now it's looked at as this big, like, oh, you know, Charlottesville, woo.
Like, it's like, no, no.
A bunch of people got bused in from out of town and it got turned into some fucking, you know, just like what happened in January.
It was just a shit show.
Yeah.
You know, a lot of actors, a lot of people just kind of over blew that.
But anyway, what I'm getting at is just, you know, Virginia, beautiful state.
You know, if you like gambling, they're kind of opening up on that weed.
Same thing.
How the gun laws.
When you say Virginia, is that the same as West Virginia?
No.
West Virginia is interesting.
It's kind of like it's red, but they're kind of leaning blue, too.
I don't know.
Virginia's gun laws, though, he's got one year left, and I think there's going to be a big push for like another Republican governor.
I think Virginia's tired.
I mean, there was a lot of counties.
You can look it up within the last year before all the COVID bullshit.
They were moving in on like a lot of counties were stepping up and saying, no, we're going to say our county is a sanctuary county or whatever for the Second Amendment.
So they were stepping up.
But yeah, I mean, I think there's a pushback.
The mask thing is pretty lenient.
Some places are tighter than others.
I was even in Northern Virginia the other day, a nice restaurant, and it was packed.
Fucking packed.
You go in, you got to wear a mask, but when you sit down, you take it off, and it's like, well, what the fuck is this?
It's just a bunch of theatrics.
It's bullshit.
Yeah, it's the same here in New York.
Anyway.
What cities are you thinking of or what general areas?
So, like, I live in Waynesboro, just outside of Charlottesville.
I grew up in the Hampton Roads area most of my life, but it's hit or miss.
The weather's bullshit.
We're getting a bunch of snow right now, but hot summers here and there.
But overall, it's pretty good.
Okay.
Maybe I'll hook up with my old buddy Jason Kessler.
No, that motherfucker.
Thanks for calling, buddy.
I'll put that on my list of places to check out.
I've been thinking about just buying an RV and just driving across the country.