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Feb. 9, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:01:28

S03E71 - RISE OF THE TATTLETALES

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
	I don't know what I did.
	I was sparring today with Sug, and we're fighting along, and I realized it was at the end of the round.
	I just thought, I'm just going to fucking go nuts.
	Because I just didn't have any power in my punches, and I just started nailing him.
	He's a professional.
	And I was just sick, like these guys, these pros, when I say pro, I mean amateur, but you know what I mean, right?
	Like someone who has a boxing record.
	But they do this shit, like to punish me, where they go, I told you to have your hands up, and they go, whack, and fucking nail me a real punch in the face.
	One of them I got today from this, like, this kind of mafia guy.
	Hey, yeah, I've been investing this talk about it for a while, and I could do better than I did on the street.
	He fucking nailed me so hard, I did a little Bugs Bunny thing where I sort of went, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Like it was a cartoon punch.
	It was so hard.
	So I don't know.
	I know I can trust this other guy because I consider us like brothers.
	He's Irish.
	I thought, just like when you're playing, you know when you do strength and conditioning with a medicine ball, you throw it back and forth and then you throw it extra hard as a fuck you to the guy as a joke like to send him back.
	It's a fun game.
	You know that kind of a riff?
	So I was kind of riffing.
	And then he's just like, okay, well, I guess I'm going to, I guess we're playing hardball now.
	And he went fucking whack and broke my fucking ribs.
	And it's just such a curse.
	It's five weeks of, oh, Jesus.
	And a sneeze is a dick.
	Like imagine I was walking towards you, not you ladies or gays, but you straight male viewers.
	And I just had a boner and you're like, oh, fuck, here we go.
	As you start going, you're just like, dick, dick, dick, ain't you?
	You have hurt me today.
	And the next day and the day after that.
	The next 40 days.
	Yeah, you got my rib pretty good that one time.
	It stunk.
	Couldn't get up out of bed.
	But you didn't, didn't you ask me to?
	Yes.
	Like, punch me in the ribs as hard as you can.
	What could possibly go wrong?
	Those things that break so often that you don't even go to the hospital for them.
	We've got to come up with a better solution to this, by the way, America.
	I mean, if you break your pinky, we all these cool things with the foam and the steel and all that stuff.
	There's nothing for this.
	What is it, 2021?
	Ah, ah.
	Ooh, it feels lumpy.
	That can't be good.
	That's not good.
	Yeah, Adrian Lenker was the opening artist.
	She was in a band called Big Chief, I believe.
	Big Thief?
	Forget her original band.
	But, you know, the music we listen to on this show, probably because of my indie vice background, is kind of hipstery.
	Boy, I have a lot of shit in my hair today.
	So you're listening to people who want you dead, but I don't know.
	Some music is for rocking out to, and some music is in the background while you clean your room.
	Clean your room?
	It's bloody mad.
	Perfect background music to clean your room, the soundtrack.
	You just have it on the background.
	Or put on my podcast.
	If you listen to this show while you're doing the dishes, the dishes are a gift.
	It's something to fiddle around with, like when people play with candle wax at dinner.
	Yeah, she was a chick.
	She grew up in a cult when she was a little girl, a Christian cult.
	And I've noticed people who grew up in a shitty situation like that tend to be good people.
	In fact, speaking of my wife's birthday party, the one cool chick had lost her husband to a brain aneurysm, brain cancer, actually.
	So have you not noticed that?
	That you're talking to someone, you're like, wow, you're really cool.
	And then you find out like their brother's retarded or their mother got shot.
	And then you'll notice the cunts who torment you have been spoiled their whole lives.
	Like Amy Siskind is this woman who constantly torments me.
	And I don't think she's had any...
	Oh, wait a minute.
	She has a son, I think, with Down syndrome.
	She's the exception to the rule.
	But she, that's not what she looks like.
	Older women, you'll notice their photos look pretty good.
	When you see her in real life, her hair is just microwave pubes.
	That's a supermodel version of her.
	She's a two.
	But yeah, she's been chasing me around ever since I moved to the Burbs.
	She tried to have a vigil in front of my house to protest the synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh, which I assume I'm a big fan of.
	I heard that she, I've told you about her before, right?
	I heard that she was cheating on her husband.
	He caught her cheating with a woman when she was nine months pregnant.
	She proceeded to eviscerate him, empty his bank account, and then turn the kids against him.
	And I'd love to meet that guy.
	God, my kingdom for her ex-husband.
	Anyway, she was in the news recently.
	She does all this shit.
	Like, remember David Pachman?
	I don't like the guy at all.
	But she said she's going to get him fired.
	And he said, well, that's fucked up.
	And then he brought it up a couple years later.
	And she goes, I'm going to sue you for saying that.
	I never said that I would try to get you fired.
	And he goes, well, that's exactly what you said.
	In fact, here's the Facebook post where you said you're calling my school where I'm like an assistant professor or something.
	Yeah, there she goes.
	So she denied that.
	This is a common thread on today's show.
	People denying they did things right after they did things.
	I will not support white male candidates in Dem primary.
	Oh, yeah.
	So he goes, she goes, no white male candidates.
	And he goes, isn't that kind of sexist and racist?
	But see if you can find her denying she did this.
	I don't know where that would be.
	But like Maxine Waters, Maxine Waters said recently, I never said That you should harass Trump supporters.
	What?
	A year and a half ago, you said, We will fight them when you see them at the gas station, harass them.
	When you see them getting dinner, when you see them at the movie theater, and then everyone proceeded to do exactly that.
	And then they go, Why did you do that?
	She goes, I didn't.
	It's like little kids.
	Why did you do that?
	I did not.
	Or this guy at my local, Joe.
	I go, Joe, he's a bit slow.
	Please stop going to the jukebox, okay?
	I've had enough of your 10 fucking songs.
	I've had enough of Summer of 69.
	I've had enough of Boys of Summer.
	I've had enough of Men at Work.
	That ain't working.
	That's the, all of these shitty fucking 80s songs are driving me insane.
	You obviously don't like music if you have 10 songs.
	And then he goes, and I see him by the jukebox.
	I go, okay, please just don't play anything you've played before.
	Can you handle that challenge?
	And he puts on Don Henley, Boys of Summer, and Brian Adams.
	He's special.
	And I go, what the fuck?
	You did.
	I just begged you not to do that.
	And he goes, I didn't.
	I didn't.
	There's four people in the bar, dude.
	I'm not blind.
	No, it wasn't me.
	I didn't do that.
	It was probably Jimmy.
	He has the app on his phone, so he does it remotely from his house.
	This guy, by the way, for the Super Bowl, with COVID, the bar is pretty much empty.
	By the time I was there for the last quarter, there was three people there.
	Okay?
	It's a sad dive.
	He goes to the sub store to get a sub, to get nine subs, right?
	That's a bit much.
	I would have got like five.
	People aren't really hungry.
	They usually ate at home at these things, but whatever.
	Guess what he ordered when he got there?
	He goes in his truck, pulls down the bottom flap, ready to rock, has the tarp up.
	Guess what he orders?
	What?
	Nine six-foot subs.
	They're $100 each.
	When my friend Billy heard that, he fell off his chair and he goes, what, are we going on a fucking cruise?
	And I was thinking about that later.
	If you were on a cruise and you saw nine.
	Are you familiar with the number nine?
	It's exactly like 10.
	It's just one away.
	It's basically 10.
	It's 90% of 10.
	Nine six foot sub.
	At my birthday party, I had two.
	Not six inch, six foot.
	Six foot.
	I had two, and we barely started the second one.
	And I had like 70 people there for 12 hours.
	It's a big sub, too.
	Like you take one of those segments, you're good.
	You're stuffed.
	Not you fatties, but normal people.
	But if you were on a cruise ship and you saw 9,6, I was laughing about this alone the other day, just putting on my boots.
	If you saw 9,6 foot subs on a huge cruise ship by the lunch area, right?
	We're like the buffet, you'd go like this.
	You'd go, yeah.
	That's about right for a cruise.
	I assume there's going to be several shifts of people coming down.
	And they're $100 each.
	That's $1,000.
	And he ended up getting nine normal subs.
	And he gave me like two at the end of the day here.
	They didn't finish.
	And then he gave the other guy, Tommy, two also.
	So out of nine, they ate five little ones.
	That guy's in gym.
	He is.
	He hurt his neck.
	Hey, hurt his neck in a car accident.
	Oh, hey, hey.
	So he talks like this.
	And then in the summer, I'd wear my Hawaiian shirts.
	He's like, oh, there he goes, Gavin, with this shower curtain shirt again.
	You can't make this stuff up.
	Yeah, you can.
	Guy wears Hawaiian shirt.
	There, I did it.
	Took a lot of imagination.
	I'm going to need a fucking Advil now.
	I almost wore this puppy out.
	You got to call him, what is his first name?
	Joe.
	Joey Subbs.
	He could have a new nickname as well.
	While I noticed, actually, this is kind of sad, but while we were laughing our heads off, like almost crying, I could see him at the other end of the bar, like, I don't know.
	It hurt him.
	But I'm sorry.
	Unless you have Down syndrome, when you do something that retarded, we're allowed to laugh.
	Nine six-foot subs.
	I can't think of a scenario.
	I don't think I've been to a thing, and I've been on cruise ships, that requires nine six-foot subs, including like baseball tournaments, championships, raves.
	Did you find her saying she didn't say that to David Pachman?
	No, I have not.
	Why not?
	No, Amy Siskin.
	This I mean, I've already promoted on the show.
	Doug Williams, fascinating guy.
	He used to work in the White House with Nixon all the way up to maybe Clinton.
	And we used to have him on my old show quite a bit.
	I think he's done now, but they sent him to prison for two years for saying that lie detectors don't work.
	It's pretty much that simple.
	I know you're going to read it up on my computer.
	No, actually what he did was he introduced.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	I know Doug well.
	Talked to his wife.
	I talked to him when he was in prison on a regular basis.
	He realized that lie detectors are what he calls insidious Orwellian machines.
	I wrote an article about it on Tachymag.
	And what they did, they don't fucking work.
	And I, before, I did a show for Discovery UK called Mythbusters.
	No, not myth, but Man versus Myth.
	And I did the lie detector.
	And what you do is you plant a seed in his head.
	They told him that I cheated on my wife.
	And so when he asked me questions about that, they don't even look at the sheet.
	He concluded that I was because it already had the thing.
	And we also told him something true and said that it wasn't true.
	Like I check her text.
	So the truth is, not cheating on my wife.
	I had checked her texts.
	This is years ago.
	The producer of the show planted the opposite seeds and his results were the opposite.
	Like they have one that you sit on because they found people clench their anal lips in order to seem tense.
	That digital readout thing isn't on the main page.
	You have to scroll to get to it.
	Like say there's room for seven little, it's number eight.
	I never saw them scroll once.
	They never looked at it.
	So, what they do, what it really is, is it's an intimidation machine, and you're all strapped in there, and you end up confessing out of fear.
	So, he exposed that.
	And the way they prosecuted him was they said something like, they sent in two spies to pretend they were with the post office.
	And they go, how do we beat the machine?
	He goes, tense up when they say your name?
	What's your name?
	Gavin.
	And then relax.
	And now the whole machine is all broken.
	So nothing means anything.
	And never confess.
	It's all bullshit.
	They go, thanks a lot.
	So then the charge was, you would have got two, if they were real mailmen, two mailmen to work at the post office for their entire lives and then their pensions.
	So you would have ripped off the government for two entire careers and pensions.
	So that's $3 million.
	So you owe us $3 million.
	Or, wait, what was that one?
	Well, T, where she straight up threatened the suburbs.
	Oh, I remember this one.
	Yeah, we might have to make her a regular feature because there's so much shit.
	She lives in the suburbs.
	She lives near me.
	And what did she say?
	When are we going to start burning down the suburbs?
	Yeah, do we start burning down the suburbs now or wait until January 20th?
	An absolute mental patient.
	So you never found the thing.
	You let me down.
	I did.
	Can't you just look up David Pachman, Amy Siskin?
	Yeah.
	Oh, there's a bunch for that.
	But I try to look for lie or deny his tweet on top of that.
	Okay, well, there's plenty here.
	Let's show her doxing law enforcement.
	1-3.
	Proudboys are your enemy if you're on the left.
	Antifa is your friend.
	The actual behavior of both groups is totally irrelevant.
	So they passed it terrific.
	I don't know what the fuck she's talking about, but the truth is Amy Siskin has called for doxing of law enforcement and trials for them and their family.
	As someone who has to live every day with a fellow law enforcement officer I worked with and his fiancé being murdered.
	Oh, worked with being, sorry.
	As someone who has to live every day with a fellow law enforcement officer I worked with and his fiancé being murdered, Amy is the criminal.
	And then she goes, go back.
	I think they're out of order here.
	No, no, the one on the right first.
	There's a German word for holding family members accountable for the actions of their relatives, Sippenhaft.
	It's called the Nuremberg Trials, and Trump's fascist stormtroopers acting now will be held to account, just as Hitler's Gestapo were back then.
	Holy fuck.
	Let's put the NYPD on trial.
	Did you?
	My only problem with NYPD and DC police is they didn't do enough.
	You've become what you say you hate.
	Stop attacking law enforcement officials and their families.
	You're a disgrace.
	Get the mercenaries out of our cities.
	We're not here for your fascism.
	You will be held accountable when this is over.
	And I was taking orders as not an excuse.
	What world do these people live in?
	Like, they used to use Hitler as an analogy.
	Oh, wait, what's this?
	Canadian.
	Oh, she was talking about the Proud Boys.
	They passed it?
	Terrific.
	Yay.
	Yay, they're terrorists.
	It used to be an analogy.
	Oh, Hitler.
	You're basically Hitler.
	And now it's just we're in World War III.
	And just like the Nazis were held accountable, you have to be held accountable.
	You, I'm talking to the viewer.
	You need to be re-educated.
	Okay, let's finish Amy Siskin because that brings me to the New York Times.
	Look at her fake.
	So she says Andy Noel wrote about her on his blog.
	I don't think he even knows who she is.
	And he goes, I never wrote about you on my blog.
	So that's deleted now.
	Right?
	Actually, click on it.
	It might come up.
	Yeah.
	No, is that what happens when you click on it?
	No.
	Here we go.
	I want to add my voice to those calling out any no for how dangerous he is.
	After he wrote about me on his blog, this lovely note came in the mail with a myriad of death and LGBTQ themed rape threats.
	No one was going to rape her.
	Look at that.
	She clearly just printed it out herself, spilled some tea on it while she was photographing it.
	Look at the fold there.
	So there's a fold at the top on the pink line and then no other folds.
	What kind of envelope was this in?
	Who has an 8.5 by 11 page that's just folded like that?
	All right, this is ready for the mail.
	Let me mail my swastika.
	Meanwhile, the only people getting actual death threats is people like me.
	I got swastikas in the mail.
	Let me see.
	Go up.
	For those asking, I am reporting this kind of stuff to local law enforcement and the FBI.
	I've had enough.
	There will be consequences now that we have a new administration in charge.
	I encourage you all to do the same.
	Let's put an end to this.
	Hey, I agree.
	Everyone out there who is receiving swastikas on rainbow flags, we've had enough.
	Okay?
	Report it to the police.
	God damn it.
	I have a stack of them.
	15A, she faked some hate mail too from her fake Andy No thing.
	So she really doubles up on the juicy smole.
	First, she fakes him writing about her, which she doubles down on when he calls her on it.
	She goes, yes, you did.
	And then people go on her Twitter feed.
	They're like, can we see the, just do a screen grab?
	This is a hoax.
	I did not send that email.
	See, once she gets on you, dude, it's like Venom in Spider-Man.
	Like, you can't, it's tar.
	You can't, the more you wipe, the more you get her all over you.
	Just got this threatening email from Andy No.
	Not sure what I will milkshake you back to McDonald's means, but it does make me feel threatened.
	Kindly remove your false suits about me or we will settle this thing in court, and I have plenty of money and even more spare time to handle people like you.
	Check out my lawyers at Dylan Law Group.
	I think that's Ron Coleman's group.
	I will milkshake you back to McDonald's.
	Wait, why not just show that one?
	That shows how nuts she is.
	She shows two pictures of the same email, and one of them is cropped a little.
	What the hell?
	When she deleted her lie, she is gross and weird.
	I know.
	Scary.
	She's scary, dude.
	That's like ex-girlfriend.
	That's what I call her.
	She's my crazy ex-girlfriend.
	Thank God I never fucked her.
	What's 15A?
	Is that the same one?
	That was the Nazi swastika.
	Oh, and then 15B was the thing we just saw.
	Yeah.
	I'm not persecuted.
	I'm just an ass.
	I hate the bleep.
	Don't can that.
	All right.
	I hate bleep.
	There's if there's an uncensored one.
	Yeah, there probably is.
	It'll take you a while to find.
	Yesterday was so fun with this off-the-dome stuff.
	I'm reluctant to go through the news.
	I do want to get to the New York Times, though.
	New York Post, 25% indoor dining.
	That's such a fuck you.
	Think of a business that can survive 75% loss, especially restaurants where they have the tiniest fucking margin.
	I owned a restaurant.
	We went under.
	You know what killed us?
	Fines.
	Stupid fucking fines like there's a dent in your can.
	The cans aren't tin anymore.
	They're lined with plastic.
	What are you talking about?
	You're not going to have flakes of tin in the food.
	You're thinking of 1902 or garbage fines.
	Oh, there's garbage all over the street.
	Yeah, because the Chinese ladies go in there and take out the cans.
	It's not my fault.
	We've had the garbage perfect.
	No, you get a fine.
	Okay.
	This story is finally getting legs, thank God.
	Racist, anti-white woman who bitches about white privilege all the time, adopts a white girl and beats her to death.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	We already talked about that if the races were reversed, how we'd all be fucking dead.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Guy with Confederate flags as his avatar, bitching about Negroes all the time, adopts black, beautiful black baby girl, three-year-old girl, and beats her to death.
	I'd beat me up.
	I'd beat you and me up.
	Anybody who knew me would, I would just, I would yell at and beat up.
	I would adopt a white kid and kill it.
	Just to be kind of.
	Just for revenge.
	Yeah, against me.
	And then I'd get like Nuka Zeus and start taking brown pills.
	Here's a fucking gross story.
	Look at this.
	Open and smut.
	Couple tries polyamory before marriage.
	Before exchanging ideas, there was something important to New Zealand filmmaker Jan Oliver Lux and fiancé Zoe felt they needed to do.
	Have sex with other people and film it.
	Let me guess.
	Your marriage is not going to last very long.
	So he's got a new documentary which premieres on HBO Max this Thursday called There's No I in Threesome.
	Well, there is an I in tiresome and you are fucking boring.
	After dancing a duet as monogamous lovers for years, Lux and Zoe agreed that they were curious about polyamory, a lifestyle that can be defined as some fucking stranger spit roasting your bitch.
	Gross, man.
	Gross.
	So you eat her out and his jizz in her?
	Oh.
	Honey, were you particularly wet that time?
	No, that's that stranger's jizz you just drank.
	Husband.
	Husband of mine?
	Here's a really good article that will probably end up being the theme of the...
	Oh, you got the trailer?
	I hate his face.
	That's Zoe.
	She's an actress.
	Dohan Stand as well.
	And this is me, Ollie.
	I make films.
	We got engaged one year ago and have been in an open relationship for three months.
	I pulled a chicken into enabled that themes.
	Just don't do an image search.
	Zoe and I are making this film together.
	I am part German though, so I did insist on some rules.
	The idea is to highlight an alternative to monogamy.
	They can hit you if they needed to.
	That's how it started.
	Anyway.
	I now have a girlfriend, as well as a fiancé.
	You got a fiancé, you don't need a girlfriend.
	You like her?
	I like her.
	Okay, just don't go see her all the time.
	Jealousy is just this thing you know.
	It's just a stupid thing.
	I'll be right back.
	Hi.
	What do you do?
	Oh.
	We just have to have as much fun as we can.
	He zooms the guys that bone his girlfriend, fiancé.
	Well, I think it's going to end up being girlfriend.
	What do you say?
	You have secrets?
	I've never done this before.
	I want to stop.
	No shit.
	No shit.
	It's too late.
	You're done.
	You can't ever look at that person and be like.
	Yes.
	What's about to happen?
	That's kind of like watching.
	Reinventing the wheel.
	It's like watching a suicide in a way of a soul.
	Yeah.
	It's a marriage suicide.
	Have you known anyone to be in an open relationship with like several people?
	I have.
	Lita Harding was her name.
	She was in a relationship with a guy and another girl.
	So every night he would just get a beach from two girls.
	And he went crazy.
	It was like being too rich.
	He felt like a king.
	He was a king and he went nuts.
	It never works.
	How many times have you heard this stupid experiment that we just saw?
	I'm having an open relationship.
	Yeah, sure you are.
	Best of luck with that.
	Have you ever had that?
	Have you ever had a threesome?
	No.
	Noel, I had like a fool around with like two chicks at the same time.
	My friend was like, dude, these two chicks are crazy.
	Come over here.
	And I went over there and I just messed around with one of them.
	The other one was pretty gross, but then I got blown by her.
	So, yeah, but that's not a threesome, right?
	Yes, it is.
	Okay.
	If you ejaculate within a yard of two people, consensually, you've had a threesome.
	So, just that once.
	You should get those under your belt, I think.
	It's not very a Catholic thing to say.
	Yeah, I know.
	That was always a thing that I was like, oh, that'd be awesome.
	And then just never did it.
	And I don't really have an urge to.
	I think I regret promoting so much sodomy and gomorrah in vice.
	But, and this goes against Catholicism, but I do kind of think it's healthy to get your yayas out.
	My problem is the yayas just keep coming out.
	It becomes like before you get a colonoscopy, you got to take this weird powder that makes you shit your guts out.
	And they just keep shitting their guts out.
	The colonoscopy should happen around 25, age 25.
	Maybe 30 for men.
	But they just keep eating it.
	They keep shitting and shitting and shitting.
	And it's so sad.
	They're so lonely.
	Ugh.
	Here's a fantastic article by Glenn Greenwald, who we just saw calling out, or was it Richard Grinnell?
	Who was just calling out Amy Siskin?
	Meet the new class of speech policing tattletale journals.
	Now, I have to say, I felt like he had ripped me off because I've been calling him tattletales forever.
	But I will concede I stole the tattletale thing from Ezra Levant because when we were in London at Tommy Robinson's trial, he took a picture of Tommy waving to the people in the hallway through the glass.
	And that, I believe, is technically a violation of the old Bill's rules.
	You're not allowed to shoot anything anywhere in the building.
	But the stairway, I mean, you're not exactly fucking up a trial, filming someone in a stairway waving out the window.
	And all these journalists at the BBC and The Guardian and The Independent couldn't wait to rat out Ezra for breaking the rules.
	Oliver Darcy has built his CNN career by sitting around with Brian Stelter, petulantly pointing to people breaking the rules on social media and demanding tech executives make the rule breakers disappear.
	The little crew of Tattletale Millennials assembled by NBC who refer to their twerpy work with the self-glorifying title of working in the disinformation space.
	As intrepid and hazardous as exposing corruption by repressive regimes or reporting from war zones.
	Yeah, like that human trafficking.
	Could you look into that?
	I know that a country singer mumbled the N-word while drinking with his friends in a sarcastic and jokey way, but can you look into the drug sex trafficking?
	By the way, we have looked into it, and it turns out they're Asian.
	Go to 2-2, and I'll get to the title tailing in a second.
	But as I was saying yesterday, the frustrating thing about all the sex trafficking stuff is all the stock footage they use is white people.
	So you go, where are all these white people coming from?
	And then you go, oh, they're Asians who were brought here in containers.
	Ah, the penny drops.
	I'm not saying that their lives are any less valuable, but at least I understand the background now.
	They're desperate to get out of that fucking communist shithole, and people take advantage of that.
	Utah County, police have raided four massage parlors and made a half dozen arrests.
	This specialist Lad Egan, live for us in American Fork now with what we know at this point.
	This is a big one, Lad.
	Come sail away with me, Lad.
	Egan massage parlor here in American Fork was offering sexual services.
	They started to investigate and do surveillance and say they noticed that the female employees were rarely allowed to leave.
	Detectives were able to actually link four different massage parlors.
	KSL's Chopper 5 was in the sky and cameras on the ground as police served search warrants at these Utah County massage parlors to an American Fork and two in America.
	I was fucking shitfaced with this dude, Matt.
	He was a really weird guy.
	He was a mod and used to hang out in the scene in the Max Fisch scene in the early aughts.
	And I think he thought that I was a Nazi, but he also thought that's cool.
	And I was with David Cross a lot of the time, who's a Jew.
	And he's like, come here, Gavin, come here.
	I got to show you this, man.
	You're going to freak out.
	And he goes, not David.
	You, Come here.
	He takes me aside by the pinball machine and he pulls out a pocket square that has a pattern on it that looks kind of like a swastika, but not really.
	Okay.
	Thank you.
	That was really cool.
	He also talked about how he pulled the plug on his dead dad.
	His dad was dying.
	What?
	And it was his job to just literally pull the plug out, which I should have known something was up when he said literally pull the plug.
	Because that's not how those machines work.
	You pull the plug.
	There's probably some switchboard in the main nurse area that's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
	Something got unplugged.
	Get the fuck over there now?
	You just unplug it.
	You're not just one plug away from dying.
	Yeah.
	And I remember being drunk, just going, dude, that's so intense.
	You killed your dad.
	That's patricide.
	You committed patricide.
	And then one day I was at his apartment and I saw a letter by the kitchen table.
	And being a nosy nelly, I couldn't resist looking.
	So I read it.
	And it was like, Matthew, we understand that you feel compelled to go to New York City and to sow your wild oats, but we miss you here back in Indianapolis.
	And we're going to stop sending you money eventually.
	I mean, this is a trip to Disneyland.
	And Disneyland trips don't last forever.
	Ride the rides, have your fun, but we're going to need you back here.
	We're going to need you back in school.
	Sincerely, your father, Edward.
	And then it was like Dr. Edward, whatever Matt's last name was at the top.
	His dad's fine.
	He lied.
	He fucking lied.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	I'm so, I hate liars.
	You know why?
	Because my time is precious to me and you're wasting my time.
	So that whole time I sat there doing all that thinking about patricide is all a waste.
	I got to crumple up those notes and throw them in the garbage.
	Fuck you for wasting my time.
	Same with these people who talk about immigration.
	It's fucked up.
	You know, we're a nation of immigrants.
	How many illegals are there?
	I don't know, 7 billion.
	The entire world is in America.
	And then you go, fuck you for wasting my time.
	Arguing with me.
	I don't want to get time for this about immigration when you don't really care.
	Anyway, one night we were at Max Fish, and I was in that kind of wasted weekend at Bernie's kind of vibes.
	Like, okay, let's go.
	So instead of going home, he takes me to Chinatown.
	Okay.
	And he was drunk too.
	And we had Liquid Courage.
	We just randomly sort of start banging on a fucking door in Chinatown.
	He has his wallet in a weird way where I can't show my stuff here, but he's sort of, oh, look, I got a police badge.
	I got a benevolent card.
	So he has like a policeman's benevolence card thing.
	What do you call these again?
	PBA?
	PBA card.
	So he has a PBA card, whatever he has.
	And he flashes it at them.
	Hey, and inspection, health inspector.
	And they go, oh, shit.
	Okay, come inside.
	Oh, fuck it.
	I love you.
	Maybe you'll get a hand job and leave you alone.
	Dude, we go in there.
	We go downstairs, downstairs, downstairs.
	And there is a Chinese tofu factory from the year 1582.
	There's beds in the corner that have bamboo.
	The beds are made with bamboo.
	Bamboo poles up, bamboo poles vertical, futons, really small cots.
	The tofu is as big as a king-size mattress.
	And there's guys with sticks moving it around going, oh shit, oh shit.
	What the hell?
	And it was dark, obviously.
	We're three floors down.
	And the steam's coming off the tofu.
	And there's all these illegal Chinese guys dressed like China.
	Like with the flap and the flap and a rope.
	Not wearing Nike.
	Like you went to a different world.
	Like their shoes were cloth.
	Everything was handmade.
	There was not a logo to be seen.
	Even when you look at like Africa and India, they have a Nike swoosh or something that they got in the fucking Salvation Army garbage that someone threw from a plane.
	Not these guys.
	They couldn't afford it.
	They couldn't afford a free shirt from the United Nations, maybe because the United Nations would be onto them.
	So it was this prehistoric...
	And so he grabs a piece of tofu and he's like, I don't know about this.
	And he rams it into my face.
	He goes, try this.
	And I'm just like, now I have tofu fragments all over my beard.
	And he's like, I'm like, it seems okay.
	Seems okay to me.
	And then we walk away.
	We give them a clean bill of health.
	We're free to go.
	What the shit going on in New York?
	So it didn't look like this.
	Not even close.
	I don't think there was any steel in the entire area.
	Everything was wood, oak, six by sixes.
	Closer?
	Dude, the only way you're going to see what I saw is if you look up old paintings from China.
	They didn't have photography back in the era that I was looking at.
	That's amazing.
	I don't know.
	It sounds like a time machine.
	You fell into a time machine.
	I fell into a fucking time machine.
	And I bet that's all a Chinatown.
	That's way too fancy.
	Oh my God.
	Steel bowls, gloves, rubber boots.
	Fuck off.
	No, it was fucking crazy.
	It was an old Wong Fei Hong movie.
	Closer.
	Getting there.
	We're getting there.
	Actually, that's there.
	That's what I saw.
	That's where I was.
	Not eating tofu ever again.
	That's weird.
	One time we were at this bar on 2nd and 2nd.
	It's called Mars Bar.
	It's gone now.
	It was the most disgusting bar in the world.
	It's the only place I've ever been where I took a piss and there was cockroaches in the toilet.
	I don't know what they wanted down there.
	I guess they wanted to drink some piss.
	Running around fucking on like toilet paper.
	What's in it for you?
	There's no nutrients in piss.
	There was no shit there.
	There it is.
	Mars bar.
	One time I was in there with my buddy Trace and he was wearing a suit and it was like a punk bar.
	And these kids, these rich kids are so stupid, the lump and bourgeoisie, that they think someone in a suit is like a pussy.
	But Trace is from Texas.
	He's a tough guy.
	His dad died when he was young.
	He's got a brother his age.
	He's fought a lot.
	So they're making fun of him and stuff, like kind of bumping into him.
	So many people think they're in a fucking Hollywood movie.
	Like when they make me the villain, I'm the bad guy with the mustache.
	And they see that they're the tough guys because they have leather jackets on and he's the pussy because he has a suit on.
	You know, just like fucking law and order.
	So they start sort of nudging him around and he's getting pissed off and he's like, that's the last time it's going to happen, guy.
	And he's having his drink and we're talking and I'm thinking, this is going to be good.
	This was probably 2001.
	So you didn't really have your camera on your phone out all the time, World Star.
	So they hit him again.
	They go, oh, sorry.
	And he just gets, all right.
	And he grabs a guy by the neck and he picks him up.
	He's off the ground.
	These guys were small.
	Trace was like 6'4.
	And he picks him up.
	He's got cowboy boots with his suit on.
	And he walks him outside and he holds him there.
	And he goes, he's lost his temper at this point.
	He goes, I told you not to fuck with me, you fucking child.
	The police, get what you fucking deserve.
	And the guy's dangling and pushed up against the wall.
	And all the other punks have followed this guy out and they stand around him and they go, put him down, leave him alone.
	Way to have your boys back.
	There was maybe six of them.
	They could have killed me and Trace.
	Trace's hands were full.
	Go attack me.
	Kick Trace.
	I don't know.
	At least give us a bloody nose.
	At least break my ribs.
	Ah, ah, ah.
	And so he drops them, and we both look at them, and we turn around and walk away down 2nd Ave.
	No, 2nd Street.
	And you know what I heard one of them say?
	He goes, who calls anyone a child?
	That's your point of contention.
	Touche.
	Bunch of slap-jawed faggots around here.
	So anyway, one time we were there, and it's a bank now, but it was an abandoned high school before.
	And we're sitting there.
	My buddy's having a cigarette.
	I've told you this story before.
	I hope you haven't heard it.
	Actually, I don't care.
	It's the greatest hits.
	No, that's Max Fish.
	We're back to Mars Bar now.
	That was a fight.
	That was a fight?
	Yeah.
	10 years ago.
	I met my wife there in 2001.
	Right there, where that black guy is.
	Was he there?
	Shannon?
	I believe that's Shannon?
	Oh, shit.
	Oh, did he slap a woman?
	I think it was a dude with a weird hat on.
	Is that the Skaterboy bucket hat?
	The white shirt people?
	I don't know.
	I think so.
	It's weird how many people have a white t-shirt.
	Uh-oh.
	Ooh, this is juicy.
	This is a big fight.
	The beauty of a bar fight is it gets broken up and you don't get too damaged.
	Not here.
	Not here.
	Is anyone going to grub me?
	Or at least him?
	So Marsh Bar.
	What do the comments say?
	Only three comments.
	Ah, getting crisp.
	See what happens when you work retail and you're 30 plus years old.
	The downtown Don gets slapped.
	Oh, guess who the downtown Don is?
	Who?
	Wait, the guy that died recently?
	No, Aaron Vanderoth, the guy yesterday's book.
	He called himself the downtown Don.
	Maybe that was him getting slapped.
	Weird.
	Holy shit.
	And he wore that hat.
	Shits and gigs.
	Yeah, he wore a bucket hat that had Budweiser on it.
	I love the hat.
	I can't carry off a bucket hat.
	It's not easy to carry off a bucket hat.
	Anyway, so we're at Mars Bar, having a smoke.
	And my buddy Trevor there, Andrew, OWK's manager.
	He's a fucking giant.
	And he grew up in Tampa where he was bussed to black schools.
	And I go, that ruined you, dude.
	It made you so sensitive about the N-word and racism.
	And he goes, yo, he talked black all the time?
	He's like, yo, it was good.
	I'm glad I did that shit.
	I go, all they did was fight you every day.
	And he goes, yeah, now I know how to fight.
	Now I got street smarts, yo.
	Okay.
	I guess I'll send my kids to fucking East New York where they can fight every day.
	And there'll be ninjas who can't spell.
	Sounds great.
	So, yeah, we're at Mars Bar and this dude comes out, this NYU student, and he has a flashlight and he goes, there's a whole world in this building.
	So he goes, follow me.
	So we follow him to the side of Mars Bar, exactly where I heard, who calls anyone a child?
	And we go up the stairs and then we find all these bums' rooms.
	So I guess there was a high school and an apartment building, both abandoned, both squatted.
	So the apartment building would have just a mattress and a candle, and you could tell a bum lived there, probably wet himself on a regular basis.
	And he'd have a little candle and he'd just like sleep off his booze.
	All right, that's not that interesting.
	Then we go back outside and back to where the bank is now.
	This is at 2nd and 2nd.
	And we start going downstairs.
	No, sorry, first we walk in and we see there's this big gymnasium with graduating class of like, if it wasn't the 80s, it was the 90s, like 92.
	And a piano there covered in dust, still decorations, like confetti and shit on the ground, all covered in dust.
	Then we see another room where there's a pool that's totally empty, right?
	A functioning, beautiful high school.
	New York in the 50s and 60s was fucking beautiful.
	It just kept getting worse and worse.
	And by the 80s, it had been strangled to death.
	So this was probably built in the 50s, and it was still fantastic until the 90s.
	Ruined by David Dinkins and the like.
	And so we start going downstairs.
	And as we're walking downstairs, there's some punk dude just walking up the stairs.
	And there's a whole world, just like the Chinaman in Chinatown.
	There's sort of like that.
	There's a whole world, but much more cramped.
	What did you look up?
	Is that it?
	That could have been it.
	No, it just says abandoned underground school in New York City.
	Okay, that's exactly what it looked like.
	That might have been it.
	Yeah, so that's exactly what it was like.
	So we keep going down, down, down, and bums and punks and junkies are passing us going up the stairs.
	And then there's this huge water heater that's as big as this studio.
	Fucking massive.
	And he goes, follow me.
	And we go underneath it.
	And there's a big open area there where people are hanging out.
	You can see people smoking.
	There was like a whole world there, a little Grand Central Station underneath.
	I'm talking second and second.
	Right by Houston.
	And so I'm fascinated by this.
	And I can tell the NYU kid is middle class.
	And I don't feel endangered.
	I'm with my girlfriend who's now my wife.
	But Trevor starts panicking.
	And guess what his theory was?
	The guy was taking us to a room to be raped.
	So we get in there.
	They're going to lock the door.
	And then I guess you're going to have to overpower me and Trevor, at least, right?
	So you're going to have to have maybe four, five, six foot five dudes who wrestle and are really strong.
	And I guess I've got, maybe a couple guys with guns could have done it, I guess.
	And then you have to also find someone, a group of rapists who like raping men and women.
	Just not picky.
	That's a tough Craigslist.
	Hi, looking for giant tough dudes willing to rape adult couples and overpower them.
	Must be willing to live underground.
	So he starts panicking and he goes, we've got to get out of here.
	And then he starts scaring the dude because Trevor's a scary guy.
	So he sees this beast going, starting to freak out.
	So now he's scared because he's probably a rich kid who just moved to New York and he just thought he was doing some cool spelunking.
	But he starts panicking.
	Oh, shit.
	So then Trevor goes, we got to get out of here now.
	I want to out of here.
	And he doesn't really remember how we got there because we had to go under that boiler.
	So he starts, and the guy's like, it's right there.
	It's right there.
	He's like, and then when he grabs us and we pull, get out, go, go, go.
	And I'm like, did you see something?
	I didn't see like a guy with a switchblade.
	And for a split second, the flashlight catches him.
	He's like, warriors, come out and play.
	So I'm thinking he's justified.
	And the guy's like, just, it's right there.
	And Trevor goes, I need to know how to get out.
	And the guy's Like, I showed you.
	And then Trevor says the funniest thing I've ever heard.
	He goes, I know girls up there.
	They have beer.
	He was inventing a mirage where there's like women in Budweiser bikinis with a cooler full of beer.
	We were right at a bar where beer was four bucks.
	It's beer's not rare, dude.
	But he says that like the guy's going to go, you know what?
	I'm not going to rape these guys after all.
	They have two beautiful ladies in Budweiser bikinis and red high-heeled shoes from an 80s Budweiser commercial, and they have a big cooler full of bud.
	So he runs upstairs.
	We're running in the dark.
	Leaves the poor guy there shitting his pants with his flashlight.
	That sounds fucking awesome.
	Underground stuff?
	Yeah.
	Well, it was kind of cool, too, because it was Juliani's New York.
	So, you know, you weren't going to get your throat slit.
	All right, so let's try to get back on track here.
	You know that movie Dark Days about the whole underground world that lives underneath the subways.
	Uh-oh, my hair is starting to break free.
	I want to break free.
	Okay, the two things I want to cover here are people denying what they said?
	It's really good.
	So, one six, we remember Maxine Waters saying that.
	Actually, I don't have that in the notes.
	Find Maxine Waters saying, harass them at the gas station.
	Kick their ass.
	Fuck with people.
	Make their lives a living hell.
	Get their sister fired.
	Throw eggs at their mother's house.
	Take shits on them.
	At the gasoline station.
	Literally take a shit on them.
	Your shit never loads, Chod.
	It's definitely in this article, though.
	I'll pick a different one.
	But we remember clear as day, but I can see it.
	We've played this a billion times.
	If we can't protect the children, we can't protect anybody.
	If you see anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a guy's police station, you get up and you clean up.
	And you put back my lips.
	And you come in and get them.
	Been there, Maxine.
	Thanks for that.
	She looks like the PJs character.
	Oh, yeah.
	Actually, the PJs character was hot.
	That's the only piece of clay I've ever wanted to fuck in my life.
	Can you quote me on that?
	Fuckable clay.
	Some of the most fuckable clay women in the history of animation.
	That's my review of the PJs.
	She just had such a nice voice.
	Oh, the wife.
	Yeah.
	I thought that's who you meant.
	No, there was some gross-looking one.
	Like the one on the last baby.
	Yeah.
	She looks a little crackier because she's like herself.
	That's a really good show.
	It's amazing.
	I was so excited every time they came out with a new app.
	Almost as good as Keyam Peele.
	Yeah, she looks like the one on the right.
	Oh, yeah, that's the crackhead.
	She does kind of look like him.
	And then now she's just like, I never said that.
	1-6.
	I never did that.
	Oh, wait, that's not a video?
	No.
	Poop.
	AOC, this is much better.
	She said, I never said Ted Cruz tried to have me murdered.
	What?
	What are you talking about?
	That's crazy talk.
	And why are you digging up things from 10 days ago?
	That's ancient news.
	Statute of limitations in modern media is two days.
	He tried to have you murdered at Capital Riot.
	So that's not the quote.
	And I will not apologize for what I said.
	I haven't currently done this morning.
	That's when they round her up.
	So that's not the quote.
	Ted Cruz did not try to...
	She never said Ted Cruz tried to have her murdered.
	Okay.
	Well, let me get in the Wayback Machine and go back 10 days to 1.8 and see what she said.
	I want.
	But you almost had me murdered three weeks ago.
	So you can sit this out, this one out.
	So I guess it's not the quote.
	They said, you said Ted Cruz tried to murder you.
	No, not him personally.
	He tried to have me murdered.
	You see?
	Out of context.
	Leave her alone.
	That's when he was trying to be...
	That was going to be some refreshing unity for a little bit.
	Yeah, I love it.
	Okay, I could make this a green screen, but I won't.
	Where's the New York Times?
	I think it's under free speech.
	Yeah, here it is.
	Wait, no, it's not under free speech.
	New York Times, New York Times, New York Times.
	Here it is.
	Cannibalism of the Left.
	Okay, so there's two big stories.
	There's a bunch of stories at the New York Times.
	The New York Times, Gray Lady Down, is falling apart.
	I remember this journalist, Alan Froyer, called me.
	I told you about him, right?
	And he said, you were at the Capitol insurgency.
	I have photos.
	I have the receipts.
	And I go, send me the picture.
	I go, that's not me.
	And he goes, LO fucking L. And he called me recently to apologize.
	And as we were fighting, I said, you know, not only are you stupid and wrong, but Slate already covered this bullshit lie.
	So you're actually getting scooped by Slate.
	And they're the worst.
	You're Slate.
	I go, and he goes, you're putting me in the same category as Slate.
	And I go, gray lady down, Alan, gray lady down.
	And he goes, we're done here.
	And hangs up really emotional.
	But there's so much happening at the New York Times.
	And it's really funny seeing them cannibalize themselves.
	This is what happens when you ignore meritocracy.
	Dean Banquet, the editor of the New York Times, is there because he's blackish and he's from New Orleans.
	And they think that's cultural.
	So they bring him in and they promote this attitude of affirmative action.
	And what do you do when you're in an affirmative action?
	You kowtow to the mob, whatever they say, whatever the latest vernacular is.
	So these guys are part of that, and then they get caught up in it.
	New York Times ties itself in woke knots.
	So the guy with the beard was on a trip to Peru With some students, right?
	And he goes, they were talking about a girl who's canceled for saying the N-word.
	And he says, so how did she say nigger, though?
	I mean, there's different ways to say it.
	Was she quoting a rap song or was she using it in an aggressive way to talk about an African-American?
	I mean, I'm not saying either are different, but I guess I am.
	I mean, using it in a rap song is not the same as saying you're a fucking nigger.
	And they all go, you just said the N-word.
	He's like, yeah, but I'm talking about the N-word.
	You're fired.
	So they get him fired.
	Isn't that amazing?
	What is the opening paragraph there?
	The career guillotine, dispatching two men, Donald McNeil Jr. and Andy Mills, share the fact that the Times knew about their specified conduct years ago, but took little or no action.
	Yet, top editor Dean Bakette, egged on by witch hunting staff members, suddenly decided to revisit the cases and concluded both offenses no longer will be tolerated.
	It's off with their heads.
	This is the New York Post article.
	Reporters become the stasi.
	It's all about kowtowing to the mob.
	This is not moving the goalpost.
	This is rewriting the rules to satisfy the mob.
	But the mob can't be satisfied, guys.
	Like, say you're in the Beatles and you're running from girls.
	Say you stopped.
	When would they stop?
	I've often posed this question because I don't totally know the answer.
	I assume they'd all be pissing their pants because that was famous at Beatles concerts in the 60s.
	They would reek of urine because women would just be pissing themselves.
	But they'd rip off, I'm going to say 100% of their clothes.
	And then I think they might start pulling their hair.
	Their own, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like the Beatles' hair, taking their hands.
	Ripping their clothes off the hair.
	Tufts.
	Yeah, scratching, biting.
	You know, when you love something, you just want to bite?
	Biting?
	You know?
	Hump them?
	Would they hump them?
	Yes.
	What do they do?
	So what's the end result?
	Like, when do they slowly wander away?
	When they're nude.
	So the Beatles would all probably be nude or maybe just in some fragments of underwear.
	And then there'd be piss everywhere.
	The girls would be lying on top of them like they were sheltering a child from bullet, from, you know, gunfire.
	But like, give me 12 hours later.
	What if no ambulances showed up?
	What do they look like?
	Are they shivering in their underwear with these women shivering?
	Piss everywhere, blood.
	Maybe there'd be like a mild civil war, like ones that tried to protect the Beatles from there'd be the mad maxers who are trying to save the Beatles from being eaten alive.
	And then the other ones that just are enraged and want more.
	Yeah.
	It's a human shield versus the horde.
	Or maybe I'm being too cynical.
	Maybe they would just surround the Beatles and just scream.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like my wife's birthday party.
	And then give up and then...
	And eventually, like, have to go.
	Yeah, that is weird.
	For that to...
	But they just keep standing there, so like it just dissipates.
	Can we do that?
	Is there a computer simulation, please?
	Hey, AI, can you do something valid for a change?
	Something we genuinely care about?
	It would look like when Reagan went to the Bronx at first.
	Okay, so they get in shit.
	Well, the other guy, Mills, he was in shit.
	He apparently gave someone a massage like seven years ago.
	Like went up to her on the desk like that or something.
	And he goes, no, no, no, no.
	It wasn't a sexual thing, whatever.
	It was a normal work thing.
	Women in the workforce.
	Like, what if you were at the gym or something?
	Some guy comes up behind you and gives you a massage.
	You go, dude, fuck off.
	You don't go, what the fuck have you just done?
	You raped me.
	It's not rape.
	It's annoying.
	I hate massages.
	So four or five, so they quit because of it.
	Both, or quit, fired, whatever you have to do to maintain your pension.
	Two New York Times staffers resigned, citing inappropriate behavior.
	Oh, by the way, minor detail.
	The guy, the first guy, go back, Donald McNeil, right?
	He's the guy who won the Pulitzer Prize for Caliphate.
	Caliphate was the one where they had a fake jihadist.
	And they go, what did it feel like to murder your first infidel?
	And he goes, kind of gloomi-ish.
	That's the guy.
	He's gloomiish, man.
	So he should be fired for incompetence, for getting duped by someone who claims they're a jihadist.
	But he got fired for using the N-word in totally reasonable context many years ago in Peru.
	And how about the snitches?
	We're in a snitch peak.
	We're in a snitch era.
	Yeah, he won a Peabody Award for that.
	Right?
	I thought Peru.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	McNeils, who speared of the papers coverage of COVID-19?
	Let me see.
	I might have the wrong guy here.
	Zoom out a bit.
	Maybe it was Mills.
	Keep going.
	Mills faced his own female collie workers.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	Mills was the guy.
	I got the wrong guy.
	The guy you just saw was the Scottish guy who said the N-word, but he was also a hard worker and doing a lot of COVID coverage, which was fine.
	And then Mills is the guy who he somehow survived the caliphate scandal where they didn't give a shit that his whole show was about a guy who was just making shit up.
	His defense for that was, I'm just the host, the producer.
	Other people have to verify the guy.
	No, the producer's the boss.
	I'm the producer of this show.
	I'm in control here.
	I'm the capden now.
	I am the capdan now.
	So listen to this apology from 4.6.
	If I was this guy, I would go, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	I would never use that word in an authentically aggressive way.
	We were talking about the word itself.
	And as Louis C.K. points out, when you say the N-word, you're just saying nigger.
	You're putting the word nigger in someone else's head.
	And then he says, yeah, stop putting niggers in my head.
	Yeah, yeah.
	But look at this apology.
	Can you move it over?
	I can't really read it.
	No, zoom out because I got the viewfinder in the way.
	Oh, poop.
	Yeah, that's better, but shrink it.
	In 2019, on a 2019 New York Times trip to Peru for high school students, I was asked at dinner by a student whether I thought a classmate of hers should have, you cropped it.
	She made it a 12-year-old use as a racial slur.
	Ryan, it's still fucking cropped, you motherfucker, please.
	Should have been suspended for a video she had made as a 12-year-old in which she used a racial slur.
	To understand what was in the video, I asked if she had called someone else the slur or whether she was rapping or quoting a book title.
	In asking him the question, I used the slur itself.
	That's your defense, dude.
	End of story.
	Anyway, thank you and goodbye.
	I hope I don't get fired.
	That would be insane.
	Nope.
	He says, I should not have done that.
	Go back.
	Originally, I thought the context in which I use this ugly word could be defended.
	Yes, it can.
	I now realize that it cannot.
	It is deeply offensive and hurtful.
	The fact that I even thought, this is literally a thought crime.
	I could defend it itself showed extraordinarily bad judgment.
	For that, I apologize.
	To the students on the trip, I also extend my sincerest apology, but my apology needs to be broader than that.
	It keeps going.
	How much self-flagellations do you need?
	My lapse of judgment has hurt my colleagues in science, the hundreds of people who trusted me to work with them closely during this pandemic, the team at the Daily that turned to me during this frightening year, the frightening year, and the whole institution which put its confidence in me and expected better.
	So, for offending my colleagues and for anything I've done to hurt the Times, which is an institution I love and whose mission I believe in and try to serve, I am sorry.
	I let you all down.
	No, you let yourself down in your Stalinist apology that sounds like someone in the Soviet bloc, someone in Czechoslovakia apologizing.
	Please at least tell me, sir, that you, when you wrote that, you said to your wife, can you believe this shit?
	Can you believe this fucking garbage I have to write?
	Please, please just tell me that.
	This is my new angle with life, by the way.
	I don't get lawyers.
	I don't try to sue you.
	Well, I still might.
	But my new focus is I just talk to the people like human beings, and I hope that there is a grain of humanity within them.
	Like this Wall Street journalist asked me, she goes, hey, you're still, though you're not in the Prabhupada's, you still have a huge influence on them.
	Care to comment on the Capitol?
	And I go, I have zero influence with that group.
	That's why they went to the Capitol after me.
	That's why members went to the Capitol after I begged them not to.
	Here is footage from December 22nd of me saying, don't go.
	It's a trap.
	Someone's going to get murdered.
	She goes, thank you for your correspondence.
	And then I emailed her.
	I go, I want you to look in the mirror.
	And I want you to ask yourself why.
	Why were you disappointed to learn that I wasn't behind the Capitol?
	Why did you do zero reporting, and I'm assuming, of the Kavanaugh protesters storming the Capitol?
	Why did you think it was cool that the Black Panthers stormed the Capitol with guns?
	And when you figure that out, I want you to try to reverse it and accept that when someone is that emotional about a subject, they should not be reporting on it.
	Your job is to be ambivalent, not an activist.
	And I think I wrote, you're drifting into the abyss of activism.
	Now, she probably just deleted that, whatever.
	But there's a chance it's stuck.
	Here's another example.
	5-0.
	So, no, no, no, sorry.
	5-1.
	Now, you remember about five years ago, the Halifax 5, we called them, there was an anti-Canada Day protest, and they went there and said, what are you guys doing?
	It's Canada Day.
	These are people we asked to die for the flag.
	And the flag is getting, it's upside down and it says decolonize Canada.
	And they put stickers all over that statue, the founder of Halifax, Cornwallis, and they said, fuck Canada all over it.
	Everyone's mad because he had bounties on Mi'kmaq Indians during the fucking war.
	Now, bounties are a normal act of war when you're totally outnumbered and you think you're dead.
	By the way, what they did with those bounties is they couldn't find enough Mi'kmaq's, so they would just kill Frenchmen and bring in black hair and say, here's a Mi'kmaq, and they'd get the money that way.
	Cornwallis also, when he was an English soldier in Scotland, had bounties for kilts.
	If you kill a Scotsman, you get a bounty.
	It's what you do when you don't have an army.
	It's a disgusting necessary evil of war.
	No one likes it, but that's the way war goes.
	Anyway, so there's Cornwallis, founded Halifax, show some reverence.
	Bunch of immigrants there from Africa screaming about how racist this country is.
	They just got here, calling a Dominion flag a flag of genocide.
	Anyway, these guys were very polite, and the crazy thing is the footage is all there.
	So there was five of them.
	Two of them quit the military forever.
	One of them was gay, I was going to say American Indian.
	First Nations, they called them there.
	Third generation soldier.
	Done.
	His grandfather fought in World War II.
	No, done.
	Because of tattletale journalists like Chris Lambie, who I cannot find a picture of.
	So in this article, some of the proud boys who stood up for Canada are still in the military.
	We tracked them down.
	No, that's me quoting.
	Like my neighborhood, there's a serial rapist there who used to work at, I think, Rikers.
	And he would fuck the prisoners.
	He got caught in the local message board.
	He did a post called Extreme Ownership.
	And they all praised him, his bravery.
	He doesn't get hassled.
	I get hassled on a daily basis.
	There's another guy down the street who was a pedophile.
	He's arrested in Disneyland for pulling his dick out while playing with kids.
	He's always encouraging kids to come by his house.
	There's not that much stigma with him.
	People just stay out of his way.
	It's okay to fuck kids.
	Another woman who put a sign on my lawn, Farah Khatwari, Her brother left Harvard Medical School to go fight jihad.
	He died at the border of Pakistan and India fighting for Allah.
	Allah Akbir.
	That's fine.
	So the double standard here of tracking down five soldiers and following them for their entire lives to make sure they're adequately punished.
	And they were punished.
	One of them was sent back to boot camp and was peeling potatoes for a year.
	He apologized.
	He denounced the Proud Boys.
	I got nothing to do with them.
	It's funny because this guy, Chris Lambie, probably couldn't handle a week in boot camp.
	But he decides them being punished for a year isn't good enough.
	So go back to the article.
	Majority of Proud Boys who dressed up in matching polo shirts and attempted to disrupt a peaceful protest.
	They just asked what was going on.
	And they were incredibly calm.
	The footage is there.
	The alt-right group.
	The five men, four of them in the Navy, one Army soldier, attended July 1st, 2017 ceremony.
	So it was three years ago.
	You're still chasing them down like a little bitch.
	One of the five members of all this incident, two have since released from the forces.
	Yeah, they quit.
	And three have completed required counseling.
	Yeah, a year-long punishment.
	And probation and have renounced their affiliation.
	These actions are absolutely not tolerated, blah, blah, blah.
	But it's not good enough because now the Proud Boys are defined as a domestic terrorist group.
	So now you have to go back in time and punish anyone who was in the group.
	Even if the group changed.
	Even if the group, like the English Defense League, I will concede, was a cool group and it did go Nazi.
	I'm not saying that happened with the Proud Boys.
	But does that have, if you were in the EDL when it was cool and nice at the beginning, are you now responsible for their Nazi shit?
	They are to Chris Lambie.
	So I could get a lawyer.
	I could spend $1,500.
	This is a small local paper in Halifax.
	Or I could just wonder if there's a semblance of humanity.
	So this is what I sent him a few hours ago.
	To the author.
	The video footage of that day shows a bunch of bratty leftists desecrating the Canadian flag on Canada Day.
	They had it upside down with decolonized spray painted on it.
	They covered the Cornwallis statue with fuck Canada stickers.
	Five servicemen went over to politely ask them what they were doing.
	These are people we expect to die for their country.
	Are they allowed to ask people what they're doing when they have an anti-Canada Day rally on Canada Day?
	Two of the five left the military for good.
	One of them was a gay First Nations who was third generation military.
	People like you ended that man's legacy.
	We raised 10K to file a complaint, but no lawyer in Halifax would take it because they didn't want to be canceled.
	You know, I'd love you to suffer.
	I'd love to say, look in the mirror and understand that your career is about destroying things other people build.
	End of quotes.
	Oh, you found him.
	There he is.
	But people like you don't have the character to be ashamed of themselves.
	You've actually brainwashed yourself into thinking you're some kind of freedom fighter.
	You're not.
	You're a tattletale.
	And then I sent him this article.
	The Glenn Greenwald one.
	Let me look at his fucking face again.
	Fucking shithead.
	Lead editor.
	Telegram St. John's.
	Um.
	Yeah.
	So that's annoying.
	Let's finish up a little bit of free speech before I leave you.
	Oh, here's an interesting thing on Prowboys that Ann Coulter asked.
	She was like, okay, they're a domestic terrorist now.
	Can we get a death count?
	5'8?
	Okay.
	I've only got one or two stories left.
	This is a tweet from Ann Coulter 5'3.
	You're so fucking sorry.
	I just came out of the bumper that I had already.
	Once I start the subject and we don't do a bumper, abandon it.
	New York Times extremists, Proud Boys, QAnon, Elections.
	QAnon is, do you know any QAnon dudes?
	No?
	We're all QAnon now.
	I don't know if they exist.
	I think there's people that heard this.
	I know on our show, I've said I've never looked into QAnon.
	I don't like one of the sources anonymous.
	I don't trust it.
	And then we'd occasionally get a letter going, dude, you have to check him out.
	A lot of the shit he says is true.
	Okay.
	It's up there with 9-11 deniers, like the people who say that Tower 7 was detonated.
	It's very out there.
	It's not a common belief.
	But now it's like Proud Boys, QAnon, election skeptics, all the same.
	It's like Flat Earthers.
	It's all based on a true story.
	It's interesting stuff.
	Yeah, it probably is as many as Flat Earthers.
	I bet there's as many QAnon as there are Flat Earthers.
	I never thought it was a group.
	I just thought it was people that were in like a Reddit, but they're not like, we're a part of QAnon.
	Yeah, we'll meet on Thursday.
	How many police stations have they burned down?
	How many fine old statues have they vandalized or destroyed?
	How big a spike in homicides has resulted from their anti-police agitation?
	Click on the link.
	Oh, I hate those.
	What the hell is this?
	It's like someone...
	Are we in the dark west?
	I think it's John Derbyshire's transcription of his podcast.
	This is John Derbyshire.
	I think John Derbyshire writes his podcast out first and then reads it, which I'm against.
	But yeah, you know, SickNick wasn't killed with the 19.
	He wasn't killed with the fire extinguisher.
	But again, perception and reality.
	Ooh, that's a good name for today's show.
	Rise of the Tattletales.
	You're never going to hear this.
	CNN made a report.
	And the problem is, too, I'll be arguing with liberals and they'll say, Proud Boys killed a cop with a fire extinguisher.
	And you'll go, that's not what happened.
	Just like my liberal friend who said, Marjorie Green followed an infant, a toddler, who was at the kindergarten shooting and said it didn't happen.
	Actually, followed the victim.
	Yeah, a kid who survived the shooting, who just has like a scar here from a bullet.
	And he was crying.
	And he's like, It didn't happen.
	It didn't happen.
	And I go, Jesus Lord.
	And while she did it, she took the form of a gun.
	She was a gun.
	That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard.
	And that's why I'm done arguing with them because I'll go, fuck, I'm a shitbag.
	I had no idea she was that evil.
	And then you look it up and it's like, well, no.
	She followed David Hogg, who was in D.C. for a gun conference, and said, why are you promoting the red flag law?
	That's a really shitty law that's going to cripple the Second Amendment.
	Totally valid thing to say.
	And that's him stepping into her arena where she's perfectly warranted to jumping out of the darkness.
	Sound like he went to I want to get into gun activism.
	Okay, that means we argue.
	Yeah.
	She didn't attack him.
	She didn't touch him.
	Just follow him down the street and said, this law is crazy.
	Why are you supporting it?
	I don't support it.
	She should have said, why aren't you on your bicycle?
	Yeah.
	Bike boy?
	Not that I'm trivializing.
	Did you know, speaking of David Hogg, he wants his own pillows now?
	Oh, yes.
	So Mike Lindell booked two hours on OAN, and he did a big thing about how he has 100% proof the election was stolen.
	Mike Cernovich said, I haven't watched it, but he said it was pretty bad.
	But now he's trying to do capitalism, but politically correct capitalism in a fiercely competitive market like Pillows.
	You know how long Pillows has been around?
	Over nine years.
	So you have to compete with a nine-year-old.
	No, it's more than that.
	You have to compete with a 250,000-year business.
	I think they were rocks originally, or like a raccoon.
	Toilet paper rolls, socks.
	A dead.
	Yeah, the cavemen would use toilet paper rolls because pillows hadn't been invented yet.
	They would use.
	They would use.
	You know those punching gloves you got as a kid that are a big balloon that you can inflate?
	Bopp it, yeah.
	Bop it.
	They would sleep on a boppet before pillows are invented.
	And right after that, the Hulk, the movie The Hulk came out, and they had the Hulk hands.
	They'd use Halmars.
	But before he does that, look, let me just tell you, Dave, if you want to make pillows and be successful and compete with the big guys like fucking Bed Bath and Beyond, get involved in organized crime, cheat, rob a pillow truck at gunpoint and steal all of their pillows,
	then put your labels on the new pillows that you stole.
	There's no way you could fucking build a pillow company from scratch.
	Mike Lindell did it because it was that or death because he was a meth head.
	So not only is he doing it by the books, he's doing it by the politically correct books.
	So he needs a unionized pillow manufacturer.
	We're having a hard time finding one.
	I mean, he's a bigger amateur than fucking Jen Saki.
	And then he's also employing affirmative action.
	So his first head of pillow, the CEO of David Hogg Pillows, Hog Pillows.
	Doesn't that sound like gay sex?
	Yes.
	You're a pillow hog.
	Sounds like a dick pillow.
	Although that would be a good name for the company, pillow hog.
	And it's like the pillows are so good that you take them from your significant other.
	Let me see this.
	It's happening.
	I'm thrilled to announce the addition of Brandon Wolf, Blowjob Wolf, to the Pillow Company's Activist Advisory Board.
	The Pillow Company's Activist Advisory Board.
	This reminds me of, you look at Antifa Twitter and they say, what do you want your job to be after the revolution?
	And they always say the same thing.
	It's design the military costumes.
	And then there was that funny meme that said, when the commune or whatever already has a poet, and then it's a bunch of Antifa mugshots with construction helmets on them.
	Because I'm sorry.
	We need one wardrobe designer for the military in our new anarcho-commune.
	We need one poet.
	And we need 330 million construction workers to build all these stupid projects.
	Look at him.
	Click on his bio, his blowjob wolf.
	Blowjob wolf.
	Doesn't sound like a very comfy blowjob.
	The wolf of Wall Street?
	Pulse nightclub survivor.
	So he's a gay black dude who specializes in media relations, which just means talking to people.
	Oh, he's protected tweets now.
	They weren't protected before.
	That's the guy I want running my pillow shop, not some schmada Jew who's been working with manufacturers in clothing and textiles for 50 years.
	If you want to build pillows, go to 32nd Street and find some old Jewish guy or some old Chinese guy, and he'll help you.
	And he'll break down the numbers on an Excel spreadsheet.
	And they're not going to look very profitable.
	What a dumb fight to pick.
	All right.
	Obviously.
	Oh, here's one more thing I wanted to say.
	I called them the Lumpen Antifa 3-3.
	This is who we're up against.
	This was a really brilliant take on who our enemies are.
	They are rich kids, 3-3, who, based on the arrest profiles from Portland, Seattle, this profile of the typical Antifa rings true.
	They come from the lumpen bourgeoisie.
	You know, the lumpin, lumpin' means outcast, forgotten.
	And Mark's what I was talking about, the lumpin' proletariat, meaning the forgotten blue-collar worker on the outskirts of society.
	That's not who they are.
	This is, go up.
	Scott McConnell runs the American Conservative.
	I knew him 20 years ago when he had dark hair.
	I haven't seen him since, and now he's got white hair.
	I suspect this claim at Antifa is largely or partially true, but interesting is we have no idea, no research by journalists or academics that I've seen.
	Instead, just cheerleading for the most part.
	Check this out.
	Click on that.
	This is perfect.
	The true reactionaries, Karl Marx reckoned, were the artisans who would do anything to avoid a fall into the proletariat.
	So to go from middle class to working class.
	That's their nightmare.
	These Antifa you see, their parents are rich.
	And their parents got rich in a meritocracy.
	They are in an affirmative action shithole.
	And after being spoiled rotten by their parents and brainwashed by school, they realize they have no discernible skills.
	So poverty is inevitable.
	Or you could move back in with your parents.
	I think they're going to eventually say, no, time to get out.
	The true reactionaries, blah, blah, blah.
	Today, any decent parent will go to any length to save a child from becoming an Uber driver or a barista.
	And I would add, for a while.
	The radicals who took to the streets last summer are the losers among the children of the meritocrats.
	Loaded with student debt, a worthless four-year liberal arts degree, and a nebulous sense of racial guilt, they are demanding to be heard before they lose the rest of their class privileges.
	The ever-rising cost of college, the overproduction of demi-educated graduates, the ever-rising cost of staying in the class position in which you were born, and the ever-increasing price of, we don't know.
	Cost of living, I assume.
	But that's brilliant.
	And I had never thought of that before.
	There's a sense of panic in Antifa.
	They know that they can't survive.
	When I get fired and canceled and deplatformed, I know that I can build my own pirate ship and survive.
	I know I have a discernible skill.
	You're watching it live.
	But these guys know they have nothing to offer society.
	So they're trying to burn it down so we can all be on a level playing field.
	We can all be Mad Max.
	Oh, wait, I just saw you pull up something I forgot.
	In the New York Times?
	Oh, shit.
	There's tons of New York Times I forgot.
	Sorry, folks.
	I'm just talking about my discernible skills, and I realize I totally fucked up and screwed up this show.
	So anyway, let's just finish that on.
	We now have a totally fresh perspective on Antifa.
	It is middle-class and upper-middle-class kids who have thrown their life away.
	Hard men's create good times.
	Good times create soft people.
	We're with the soft people, soft men and women, drug addicts, losers with wealthy parents.
	And wealthy parents are willing to help you out till 30, I would say.
	Even the shittiest parent is like, okay, come on.
	I told you that Max has an opening at his window place.
	And it's not just installing windows.
	You're part of design.
	It's creative.
	No, mom, I'm not dealing with fucking windows all day.
	Well, I'm cutting you off.
	What?
	I'll kill myself.
	That's where they're at.
	They want to, no borders, no wall, no USA at all.
	If I can burn this whole country down, then you're just as fucked as me.
	If you kick me out, it's murder.
	I have a wealth condition.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, dude.
	I missed so much New York Times shit.
	Okay, we'll get to the mailbag, but I have to catch up on all the New York Times stuff I forgot.
	Okay, 4-2.
	The woman behind the 1619 project, which claims erroneously that America began with the first slave here in 1619 when it was British.
	And she says the N-word.
	I did watch and did read the transcripts.
	I'm saying you know the linguistic difference between nigga and nigger.
	Oh, I got that backwards.
	Larry Wilmer did not say, come on, my nigger.
	Come on now.
	So it's okay for her to say.
	And then this goes off at a tangent while she defends the word.
	And again, zero apologies.
	We have this weird double standard here.
	Like, remember that Gorilla Glue girl next yesterday who put gorilla glue in her hair?
	And it was like, they should sue gorilla glue.
	That's still going, by the way.
	4-9.
	It's this double standard with black women where they can get away with murder.
	If Pauly Walnuts or the guy, who's the guy from Jersey Shore whose hair goes like that?
	Pauli D. Pauly D. If Pauly D put gorilla glue in his hair, do you know how fucking hard everyone would be laughing at him?
	Nobody would feel bad for him at all.
	Nobody would ever.
	Oh my God, Gorilla Guido would be his name for the rest of his life.
	But because it's a black woman, Gorilla Glue, hair is not skin.
	Your product failed to adequately worn.
	Knowing hair glue, in fact, exists.
	And many black women use hair glue as hair adhesive.
	And for this, your company's liable.
	He's a fucking lawyer, by the way.
	How did he pass the bar?
	He's a pope, too.
	Yep.
	You should have given her a sponsorship deal.
	Yeah, that's a great idea.
	Let's encourage more women to do this.
	Instead, you will be held accountable.
	And this is Gorilla Glue.
	It says, heavy duty, spray adhesive, heavy duty.
	We're very sorry to hear about the...
	By the way, Gorilla Glue is probably the most famous glue in the world.
	How have you not heard of Gorilla Glue?
	Every hardware store, everywhere you go, Gorilla Glue, commercials everywhere with Gorilla Glue tape.
	Is it the number one brand of glue?
	It's Overtaken Super Glue, I believe.
	No one thinks of Crazy Glue.
	I haven't seen Crazy Glue in forever.
	I even forgot what it was called.
	But there's all these GoFundMes for her.
	They're talking about suing Gorilla Glue.
	Gorilla Glue is frantically...
	Look at her.
	Who would see that?
	Click on the second picture.
	It doesn't even say glue in the bottle.
	Well, adhesive means sticky, and it says heavy duty.
	And wait, zoom in there.
	Imagine thinking this is for your hair.
	So you see a heavy-duty bond, and you see a giant weight that looks like it's about a 50-pound weight.
	And you think that's for hair.
	Multipurpose, it bonds wood, metal, fabric, foam, asterisk, asterisks, plastic, paper, glass, leather, and more.
	It holds it together.
	Anyway, I just thought that was a strange double standard.
	So she's with the New York Times.
	And I saw all this stuff about the New York Times ignoring historians who said the 1619 project is deeply flawed, is rife with errors.
	They're like, no, it's not.
	It's awesome.
	So this new site started up called blocknyt.com.
	Blocks take the lead in fight against disinformation.
	New app blocks 800 New York Times reporters in seconds.
	So you just click on that.
	It goes into your Twitter and blocks every New York Times reporter.
	Block the New York Times.
	That's awesome.
	And then, wait, go back.
	Don't actually do it.
	And then it shows you all of these terrible things that the New York Times has done in a New York Times font.
	I don't know if these articles were actually in the New York Times, but it's all about how terrible.
	Look, retracted caliphate.
	We talked about that guy, Mills, who wasn't fired for having a fake jihadist.
	He was fired for a fucking massage.
	But go to the top, click on a 1619 project right below your block.
	1619 project.
	Journalism does better when it writes the first draft of history, not the last word on it.
	So this is, I guess these are all New York Times articles admitting they were wrong.
	And it showed in a stunning photo.
	I see, blah, blah, blah.
	Keep going down.
	Keep going.
	Stop.
	No, no, go back up.
	Ambition can be double-edged.
	Journalists are most often in the business of writing the first draft of history, not trying to have the last word note we are best when we try to tell the truth.
	So those heard came to light when a long-standing critic came to light last month when a long-standing critic of the project noted in the online magazine quote that references 1619 as the country's true founding had disappeared from the digital display copy without explanation.
	These are not minor points.
	Anyway, this is the Times writing about their own mistakes.
	So you have to pour through hours and hours of people make mistakes.
	But basically, dozens of historians said the 1619 project is full of shit and it's run by a retard, that woman who dropped the N-bomb.
	But it kept going and it won all these prizes and the historians were screaming at them.
	That's not how it happened.
	And then another thing I forgot to mention is, remember that Peru trip where he said, did she say the N-word as a rap song or was she just talking about it?
	And then someone discovered that the trip that those kids were on cost five grand.
	Yeah, Cernovich.
	Look at this.
	14 days, 13 nights, 5,500 bucks, basically.
	So someone's parents pay for this guy to go to Peru.
	Lord knows the fancy meals they had every night and the tours they took.
	They got to pet the Aztecs on the head or whatever Aboriginal group they have here.
	And they played a little song for them, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, with those funny little wood flutes and they all collapsed.
	Yay!
	Then they went back to their rooms and they drank wine.
	And then they fucked over this guy because he said the N-word and they are spoiled brats who've never had confrontation.
	I've noticed in my neighborhood when I have these enemies, the ones who have, I told you this with Amy Siskin.
	Oh, I already said that, who have a dead dad or something.
	They're cool people.
	The people who went to Peru, the kids who went to Peru, have never experienced anything.
	And then finally with the Times, we have Barry Weiss.
	She was the only voice of reason there, and she quit calling them illiberal and saying that they constantly bow to the mob on Twitter, which everyone is responsible for.
	And she says, Twitter is not on the masthead at the New York Times, but Twitter has become its ultimate editor.
	Remember when the LA Times magazine did a feature on me that was almost fair?
	They got attacked by Twitter, so they changed the title.
	They changed the headline to like from hipster to far-right acolyte.
	Danger bay, danger bay.
	What's your reaction to Republican Senator Tom Cotton's op-ed in the New York Times, the headline, send in the troops.
	He calls for an overwhelming show of the title.
	That's really cool.
	I'd love those.
	You've got to learn by now, Ryan.
	Some of them do.
	That's the tricky part.
	But CNN is no good for that.
	Okay, let's do a COVID segment because it involves the Super Bowl, and we can't talk about the Super Bowl tomorrow.
	We're already 48 hours out.
	Oh, that's a good short one.
	So people were outraged that Tom Brady had no mask on.
	And they said he should have used his platform to make a statement.
	This is 5-4.
	Why didn't he wear a mask?
	He could have helped people.
	Go down.
	There's a video of him walking in.
	Of course, your fucking shit doesn't load.
	And most of the tweets say he could have used this as a statement for Twitter and show people how important it is to wear a mask.
	He did.
	Go to 5-5.
	That's exactly what he did.
	He made a political statement, which is, take it easy on the fucking masks.
	We're hearing they work.
	We're hearing they don't work.
	Dr. Faucius flip-flopped three times on these fucking things.
	He did use his platform.
	You just don't like the message.
	Perfect, Leslie.
	But here's some real insanity.
	I think a lot of people saw those cardboard cutouts and they went, that place is packed with people.
	Wait, here, look, where is it now?
	Yeah, 5'9?
	No, it was, everyone was in their own group.
	They got four seats together you could buy as a family.
	Look.
	And then you're six feet apart, or yeah, six feet apart from everyone else.
	That's what it was actually like.
	And look at this.
	Tampa mayor says she will be locating people via the police and penalizing those who have their mask down.
	I see one chubby blonde who's probably a fun fuck with her mask down.
	Oh, another guy's on his phone.
	It's down.
	That's two.
	One woman on the far left, my left, it's down, but she's eating popcorn.
	So out of that crowd, I see maybe three, four, three or four people who aren't eating.
	One of them is putting it on and they have to be identified.
	Okay.
	I've identified one, Tampa Mayor.
	Go to 6-0.
	It is you.
	Mayor of Tampa, we'll be prosecuting mask of fans from the Super Bowl.
	And there she is, mask fucking free.
	Masks for thee, but not for me.
	And here's a common thread I noticed.
	The Super Bowl is unsafe, but Biden celebrating is truly amazing.
	6-1.
	Look at that.
	Eliza Orleans.
	Who is this silly cow?
	Watching the Super Bowl and seeing so many people in one place is making my heart race.
	This feels dot, dot, dot, Unsafe.
	And I guess I'm not rooting for the team with the racist name over the team with the Trump-loving QB in a sport that still hasn't apologized to Colin Kaepernick.
	She clearly does not watch football.
	Wait, were the teams?
	What was the racist team?
	Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Chiefs.
	Oh, the Chiefs is racist.
	NYC is truly amazing today.
	We won.
	Let's see these people.
	This makes my heart race.
	Is that a picture or a video?
	Picture.
	Oh.
	Screenshot.
	Oh, yeah.
	We won.
	It's over.
	Okay, this is the left in a nutshell.
	That's why I say, can you imagine if the races are reversed?
	Because they are the party of hypocrisy.
	6'2.
	Thousands of people crowded in the streets of Tampa, Florida after the Buccaneers beat the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl.
	Videos show many revelers not wearing masks and ignoring social distancing.
	Sounds terrible.
	Honking horns, dancing in the streets.
	One man popped open a bottle of champagne in the middle of a Brooklyn block.
	The news that President-elect Joe Biden had defeated President Tom sparked celebrations across New York City, the president's hometown.
	New York City is Joe Biden's hometown?
	I thought he was from Delaware.
	Here it is again.
	Telling about the real president, Donald Trump?
	6'3.
	Uh-oh.
	In Tampa, Super Bowl celebrations bring super spreader concerns.
	Again, the New York Times.
	This is a different article.
	At least one police officer appeared to get knocked to the ground as a large group of fans shoved each other in the city.
	A video showed, hey, a rollicking NYC celebration for Biden's win well into the night.
	People cheered, danced, broke out champagne, and honkhorns in the city.
	Oh, that's the same one, yeah.
	They keep doing it.
	Here's a fucking doozy.
	Go to 5'6.
	Did you know that you're not fair?
	I knew it.
	Did you know that promoting pirates is not racist per se?
	But these brutal outlaws should not be romanticized.
	They were rapists, you know.
	This is a good point.
	I know many people spend years swashbuckling on the high seas because of the way piracy was normalized by professional sports teams.
	Swash.
	What's a kid's life without fucking pirates?
	Get the fuck out of here.
	This can't be real.
	Oh, look, she's got a pirate tattoo.
	That can't be real.
	Well, this is exactly like Dan Wilson, you see.
	Who that?
	Wait, go back?
	What are you talking about?
	Yeah.
	You know Dan Wilson, the guy who said, I'll give you $50,000 to arrest Ali Alexander?
	And he also said Trump has an army.
	And then we look it up and he writes thrillers about domestic terrorism for a living.
	She's the same way.
	She's a fucking silly, probably a lonely feminist.
	I don't know if she's a lesbian or not, but she wrote a book.
	Did you go to the book, 5'7?
	No, I was gonna look up that other guy.
	Yep, got it now here.
	Incoming in.
	Coming in, coming in hot, coming in hat.
	Pirates of the Chesapeake Bay.
	Oh, the Chesapeake Bay?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Why, is that where you are?
	No, no, no.
	I'm familiar with that for some reason.
	Chesapeake Bay.
	Was that Virginia?
	I don't know.
	Yeah.
	I think so.
	I guess I should.
	Unless I'm retarded.
	And then final Super Bowl thing.
	Let me just make quadruple sure I'm not missing anything.
	Babies being raped.
	Yeah, we'll get that to that tomorrow.
	Arrested.
	Elections stuff.
	SACI.
	Climate plan.
	Racism.
	I had 60 articles today.
	Holy snaps.
	What happens when you have an off-the-dome one?
	58.
	I don't know if this is true, but there's a rumor going around that the streaker placed a prop bet.
	You know what a prop bet is?
	It's when you say something like, a bird will fly interred on Tom Brady's helmet, and you bet a million dollars.
	And if it wins, you get a billion.
	You'd have to be insane to take this bet.
	But the word on the street is that this guy bet 3, no, he bet like 20 grand or something that there would be a streaker at the game and he won 370 grand.
	We didn't cover this yesterday.
	I forgot.
	Oh, that's not a real streak.
	Yeah, that's not a real streak.
	Oh, oh, he's got the buns out.
	Buns out.
	You got to do the fun run.
	Whoa.
	Here you go.
	He's good.
	Fat guy failed and wallop.
	So I think he got a $1,000 fine, which is fine when you make $370K.
	Look that up, though.
	See if he did that.
	Look up Streaker Super Bowl prop bet.
	Dude at my fucking local.
	He bet, I can't remember how much, $1,000?
	That at the Super Bowl halftime, there'd be a one and a six in the score.
	He won $10,000.
	He showed it to me yesterday.
	It's this big.
	Lick.
	Did he win a prop bet on his own stunt?
	Is that allowed?
	I would imagine the mafia who runs the money is going to kick the shit out of you for that one, right?
	Every time I'd watch those mafia movies, it was like, they beat the shit out of him and they stuffed him in an oil drum and he was stuck there for 12 hours.
	Holy shit, I hate the mafia.
	What did he do?
	He'd owed them $100,000 for six months, and you're like.
	I hope they should have filled it with piss, too.
	And I signed up for that, my friend.
	But let me read it.
	Florida man, blah, blah.
	Police charge him with trespassing.
	Associated Press released early.
	Loo, little loo.
	Can we?
	I think journalism has forgotten the five W's at the top.
	I keep having to go down like six paragraphs to get the juice.
	Online rumors that he bet 50 grand on a prop bet.
	Oh, sorry, 50.
	There'd be a streak of the Super Bowl.
	Dudes are good at maths.
	However, Las Vegas-basedcovers.com reporter said a global market sports book told him the claims are probably not true.
	No book in their right mind would take 50K limits on that, nowhere close.
	If there was one, I'd have been right there next to him in a pink tutu.
	Kind of an anticlimactic ending there.
	But I'm glad we covered all that.
	You want a good streak before that?
	Streaks, Joe.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dance.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let's be able to end.
	Let me touch it.
	So I put a flag on one I almost made this the opening act wait Ben Folds in the notes Oh my gosh.
	Oh no, this is not good.
	This is not good.
	This is fucking this is going bad.
	Oh I got the rock in the suburbs.
	Okay, we got a letter from a guy who suggested we um we do rock in the suburbs as a song and great snare He's from North Carolina but so it's making fun of how corny the suburbs is shit
	on white males.
	It's so corny.
	When's the last time you saw a black guy talking about being a black male?
	When was the last time you saw a black guy going, oh, it's so hard to be a black male?
	Well.
	You know what you see with that hair, he's down to his last year.
	Guys, if you have that hair, get a ring on it fast.
	You're about to be bald.
	Anyway, the guy, the writer, the viewer who sent me this letter goes, he's making fun of the suburbs, but it sounds pretty good.
	Like, in a haze these days, I pull up to the stoplight.
	I can feel that something's not right.
	I can feel something's blasting me with hate and bass, sending dirty vibes my way.
	Because my great, great, great, great granddad made someone's great, great, great, great granddaddy slaves.
	It wasn't my idea.
	It wasn't my idea.
	It was never my idea.
	Yeah.
	I just drove to the store from some preparation H, which I just did.
	Y'all don't know what it's like being male, middle class, and white.
	Perfect.
	Okay, so we start.
	You're losing some momentum here.
	Maybe the show is too long.
	That's the problem.
	I find that best shows are like an hour and a half.
	Two-hour ones get a little boring.
	Right?
	We're rocking at about 140.
	On SNL, Phoebe Bridges tried to smash her guitar, fails for a while, and then gives up.
	Of course, the debate online is whether or not people hate it because she's a girl.
	She even had fake sparks.
	Here's a juicy sensor TV exclusive clip.
	If you notice in the video, the bass player tries to break her bass, fails, and then gives up.
	My friend works at a guitar store in Nashville.
	After that performance, she was in the store asking for prices to fix a bass guitar.
	She tried to smash lame.
	You know what I saw on Twitter, all these people talking about the who?
	Ooh, fake sparks.
	Sparks.
	You gotta...
	Come on.
	You know, hold it by the head and then give the neck a chance to break.
	Yeah, and not by the side.
	She's holding it too.
	Yeah, not by the side.
	She's holding it too close to the bottom.
	So she's really just walloping the bass.
	Now you're just wasting time.
	Look at that.
	You know, there's a little secret with the Muse.
	He breaks his guitar a lot.
	You just replace the neck and the body almost never.
	Can you unscrew the neck?
	You could.
	You could do that.
	But when you just finish playing a song, there's no time for all that.
	You don't get a hug after a guitar smash.
	I did some homework for you if you'd like more.
	Articles like this everywhere.
	Here's a good smash comparison from Paul Stanley of Kiss.
	So what's the first one?
	Articles like this.
	Wait, here's a juicycensor.tv exclusive clip.
	Wait, you're missing a link.
	Articles like this everywhere.
	Inside Hook.
	Why everyone is upset.
	Phoebe Bridges.
	I was just shocked to see how few people knew about The Who doing this.
	I guess I'm old.
	But Twitter was full of like, yeah, there's a band called The Who, and there are guitarists, Peter Townsend.
	He used to smash his guitar.
	There's a guy named Jimi Hendrix, an African-American person of color, and he lit his on fire at a thing called Wodestook.
	Wodstook.
	So what are they mad about?
	Look, The Who and Jimi Hendrix.
	Oh, yeah, there you go.
	The fact that that needs to be written is amazing.
	So what's the beef here?
	Somebody said it was wasteful.
	Ask yourself, are you mad because it was wasteful or are you mad because a woman did it?
	I'm mad because you didn't do it.
	No one did anything.
	Wasteful of fucking time.
	You wasted our time.
	Okay, let's see Paul Stanley smash it up.
	Shoot it up, but shoot it up.
	I'm going to smash it up.
	That's a good idea.
	Grab it at the bass and break the neck.
	Throw it into the crowd.
	Fuck you.
	Here's a free guitar.
	Here's a free confession.
	13-year-old girl who wasn't looking and was checking her phone.
	Here's a reason to go to the dentist.
	These guys knew how to do a show.
	Some warm-ups?
	I'm mesmerized.
	I never saw Kiss, did you?
	No, not live.
	What do you mean, not live?
	I've seen their, like, the unplugged.
	I've seen the live things, but...
	Obviously, I mean live.
	You think I mean have you ever seen them on YouTube?
	Well, it's a good idea.
	Have you ever seen ACDC play live?
	Of course.
	It's in their videos.
	Thunderstruck is a live video.
	That's how you break a neck.
	Wait, did he do it?
	Yeah.
	Well, they didn't do a very good job.
	Oh, that's hard to see.
	That's how you do it.
	That could have been better.
	Show Pete Townsend doing it.
	He's the master.
	You really whacked the schnapp out of that.
	I'll read an email while you do that.
	Hey, trying to email you from the site and it won't work.
	Grr.
	Where can I buy the Death of Cool book?
	If not, can Gavin give me the one sitting on the shelf, please?
	Pretty, please?
	I'm Scottish living in Canada.
	I promise to return it.
	If he wants an experiment in trust, thank you.
	Come again.
	Well, that's one of the most retarded emails we've ever seen.
	Let me just type in Death of Cool and see what comes up.
	Death of Cool.
	And first link is the Amazon link.
	Click on that.
	And there we are.
	$14.99.
	The fuck kind of email is that?
	Can I have a free thing?
	You're a fucking idiot, Linda.
	And I missed Pete Townsend smashing his shit thanks to you.
	Wow, that's a good one.
	That's him actually smashing his laptop.
	Child porn, remember?
	Oh, yeah.
	Always doing research.
	Super Bowl commercial race stats.
	I've been thinking about doing this, actually.
	I've been thinking about sitting down with the TV for 24 hours and just making up a piece of paper that has like gender, race, black, white, doo-doo-doo for every commercial, and then a little bar for the type of commercial it is.
	So I write in like Nissan Ultra, black woman, white male.
	And then after the full 24 hours, see what the pattern is.
	I noticed the trend of black folks being overrepresented in advertising, so I tallied the racial representation of the ads during the Super Bowl, not counting the CBS's ads for its own shitty shows, commercials with large crowds, or repeats.
	Here's the breakdown.
	349 total people.
	193 blacks.
	That's 55%.
	125 whites, that's 35%.
	16 Latinos, 4%.
	15 Asians, 4.29%.
	Then he goes, two of the Asians were Aquafina in two different ads.
	Compared to American demographics, blacks were overrepresented by 325%.
	Whites underrepresented by 41%.
	Latinos underrepresented by 73%.
	And Asians were underrepresented by 20%.
	Why don't these companies just skip the middleman and eat out every black person's asshole?
	Wait a minute.
	Asians, I thought, are only 5% of America.
	What percentage Asians America?
	Yeah, Asian Americans are 5.6% of the population.
	So the commercials had them at 4.29.
	That's about right.
	Underrepresented by 20%?
	Are we doing that British thing where Asians are Indians, too?
	Am I correct here?
	Value for the U.S., 5.9%, yeah.
	Sorry, dude.
	You're wrong.
	At least with the Asians.
	King of Comedy, Queen of Sodomy.
	I'm Cena, so maybe you've seen this Animal House impeachment video.
	This better not be a scene from motherfucking Animal House.
	Oh, we've seen it.
	Oh, yeah.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Ancient Chinese Secret.
	January 2020.
	Come on, super old.
	Come on, man.
	Smash the subscribe.
	Sheesh.
	Was wondering if I could ask for a statement on your views on the current situation with Nora Island.
	I know you're the only ones with common sense left.
	I don't know much about Northern Ireland.
	What I do know is lots of English people from Muslim places like Birmingham and Luton are fleeing to Northern Ireland.
	Five years ago, if you were a British soldier, you would have, before you got into your car, your civilian car, you would have a mirror on a stick and you would look underneath the car to make sure there's no bombs.
	That was five to ten years ago.
	Now, British people are flocking there because they know there's no Muslims.
	They'd rather be with Irish people who were just bombing them a few years ago than with Muslims who were going to groom their kids for child sex rape.
	That's the situation in Britain right now.
	Someone's out to blow me up.
	Yeah, but at least they're not raping my kids.
	I think two of your most hated things, robots and video games, may be what kicks off the inevitable civil war our country is facing.
	Your opinion on robots being bullshit is definitely true, at least in regards to AI and our ability to create an autonomous sentient being.
	And here's the other thing that pisses me off about all this talk of robots are going to be everywhere soon.
	They're going to cost like 300 grand when they finally get one that's sort of okay, like Alexa in the head of one of those polytechnique, whatever you call it, things, Boston mechanics, whatever's.
	So that's going to be 300 grand.
	And it would be easier just to have, it'll always be easier to have a Mexican.
	Have him running around handling your wife's birthday party.
	AI is unstoppable.
	You have to change his show name.
	Like in India, if you do a movie, you know, Bollywood, it's like $10 to rent a stand for a light.
	It's $1 to have a person do it.
	So in a lot of the movies, they just have humans holding lights because humans are cheaper than sticks.
	Now, America's not that far off.
	We've got plenty of cheap labor floating around, especially if you want to have a crackhead do stuff, like eat a piece of shit or jump off a building under a mattress.
	But I think it's much more likely they'll be used as land warfare drones.
	I was watching this video from Boston Dynamics and started thinking if they put guns on these things and put a kid raised on first-person shooter games in control of it, we are fucked.
	If our government could raid domestic terrorists and take their guns without risk of loss in their life, their side will win on a massive scale.
	The video's attached.
	That's an interesting point, Dave.
	I think there's a CGI still.
	It still hits that CGI.
	It does have some CGI vibes.
	Yeah, the fucking movement.
	They have not figured it out yet.
	And like the whole camera shaking thing is like an After Effects program.
	Because you could have like a...
	But the camera's not shaking.
	You could mimic camera movement.
	The camera's perfectly smooth.
	It's not perfectly stable before.
	Yes, it is.
	Really?
	I thought I saw some movement there.
	I mean, besides the panning.
	Like, when it's.
	If anything, the opposite is true.
	It's panning too well.
	To be real.
	Yeah, look at those shadows.
	Yeah, yeah, that's CGI.
	It's CGI.
	And what does it say at the bottom?
	What are the comments?
	What are the down votes?
	Yeah, that's so obviously CGI.
	24,000.
	I see Terminators in our future.
	Everyone's falling.
	Everyone's so dumb these days.
	Go put the dollar sign on the other side of the numbers, commenters.
	Go put the percentage in front of the number.
	I want to be this happy.
	Cavo and bye guy.
	Thought of a funny t-shirt idea.
	Again, I think you won't be a snake, you'll be a snake.
	And I'm like a girls' record collection, no rush.
	Although I'm kind of worried if I write it in the rush font, it's like saying I hate rush.
	I don't hate rush.
	Girls do.
	I like rush.
	That was a concert I saw recently.
	I think it was at Madison Square Garden.
	There was not a woman to be seen.
	When I say recently, I mean 10 years ago.
	I did not see one woman in a stadium of maybe 80,000 men.
	And it was weird.
	They had trailer park boys come on, and they had a dishwasher.
	Some guy came out on stage.
	I have no fucking idea how they did this.
	He did his laundry.
	So you have to have a hot and cold hose connected there.
	How long, where was that coming from?
	Like a sink in the basement?
	Where'd you get the hot and cold?
	I'm sure the nearest bathroom is probably like 500 feet away.
	So you have 500 feet of hose you carry?
	That's a lot of hose.
	That's a lot of hose.
	That's more hose than a little pee video.
	Barking Alex Lyson's up there fucking ripping the sword.
	Oh, I know why they did this.
	Do you remember this?
	The Trailer Park boys wanted to see Rush, and they couldn't get tickets, so they kidnapped the guitarist and demanded that they won't release him until they get tickets to the show.
	Oh, no, then they snuck in.
	They snuck in through the sewers and they came out of the sewer on the other side.
	You told me he was prison.
	But he got pissed off me saying, oh, you kidnapped me.
	And it wasn't kidnapping, so if he's going to say I kidnapped him, I'm going to call him a male prostitute.
	Where are we?
	Fucking best trailer park in the goddamn world right here.
	Good people, good friends, and we're going to fucking see a little show.
	But the first thing I want to do is make it clear, this is not kidnapping, okay?
	I'm totally kidnapping.
	This is not fucking kidnap.
	I'm totally kidnapping.
	I'm born here for a little bit to play a little concert back at the trailer park.
	We don't do that kind of stuff.
	That made me homesick.
	You know what I love about Canada is the prime minister to the biggest rock star in the history of the country to a guy in the trailer park all have the same accent.
	Right.
	Holy crap, you're right.
	Fucking, hey, what's going on?
	So anyways, I'm the president.
	Oh, fuck.
	What am I talking about?
	Prime Minister, fuck.
	I'm the prime minister of the country, and I was talking to that fucking black dude.
	What's his fucking name there?
	Oh, no, it's not the black dude anymore, right?
	It's his like sidekick there, fucking Joe.
	Talking to that guy, he doesn't know where the fuck he is.
	I asked him where Canada was.
	He said nearby.
	You believe that shit?
	Fucking nearby, fuck.
	Anyway, he's fucking fucked the pipeline right up the ass.
	And I don't know what I'm going to do.
	Nearby.
	My fucking, my peeps are pissed.
	All right.
	Two more.
	Gavo and Bygai, thought of a funny t-shirt idea.
	Let me know what you think.
	Hey, blank, keep it down.
	We are in a movie theater.
	Hey, blankers, keep it down.
	We're in a movie theater.
	One may be a little more subtle than the other.
	Thanks, Adam.
	You have to wear it in a movie theater though?
	For that gift.
	I remember we were pitching Comedy Central, and that was my job for like two years.
	I would pitch comedy shows.
	They would get not picked up, but they get the pilot okayed, which is like 45 grand.
	And it's nothing because it's 22 minutes, so it's 22 pages.
	Ease peas.
	I could write one in like two days.
	And then they would never get picked up because I guess I'm not good enough at that job.
	But we were pitching this thing that the production company made us pitch, which was about straight hairdressers like your dad.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	It was based on the Warren Beattie movie where he's a hairdresser and he gets tons of pussy.
	So it was like three guys who take over their dad's hair salon just to get laid.
	But while we were going to all the different places, we became obsessed with Quado from True Lies, is it?
	No.
	Oh, fucking.
	Total recall.
	Total recall.
	Quado on Michael Sarah.
	And we pitched Keith What's his name?
	The head of Comedy Central.
	I think he's still there.
	He's the guy behind Comedy Central.
	So he's a quality dude, which was rare at Comedy Central.
	Quado D-Dude?
	The previous woman, previous person who ran it was some cunt who just happened to be in sales when they blew up.
	So she became the head of Comedy Central.
	They used to call her the killer of comedy.
	But anyway, Keith, what's his name?
	What's his name?
	Head of Comedy Central?
	So we sit there and we go, we do the Quatto pitch.
	We go, before we're going to do our real pitch, we're going to do, give you a free gift.
	And so we pitch Quatto with Michael Sarah.
	And Quatto's like, Ken Alterman was his name.
	Quatto's like gone out and he has people that want to kick his ass because he owes them money and he has prostitutes, you know, that he knows.
	And Michael Sarah has no idea how, when that happened because he's always been part of his body.
	And then Quatto also helps Michael get some fucking balls.
	I still think it's a good pitch, actually.
	We know that dude.
	What's his name?
	Marshall?
	That actor?
	That actor.
	He was the dad in Standby Me.
	He goes to the Alex Jones thing.
	The Brambles.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's awesome.
	Marshall Weathers?
	I like that guy.
	Yeah, he goes to that thing that Alex Jones is obsessed with.
	Oh, Bohemian Grove.
	Bohemian Grove.
	He goes to Bohemian Grove.
	He's been going for years.
	Marshall Weathers.
	Marshall Weathers.
	And he's like, I don't know what Alex is talking about.
	It's fun.
	There's like, sometimes they get prostitutes and they tell dirty jokes and there's entertainment and we just sit by this, by this cave on this big dinner table eating the greatest steak you've ever had in your life.
	I was like, I need to get in on that.
	And he made it clear that it was going to be like a five-year process of us being best friends.
	I don't live in LA.
	I don't see it happening.
	Maybe there's like a normie section to let people think it's edgy and then there's a real section.
	Anyway, we gave him the quado pitch and after we're done, he goes, okay, thank you for that gift.
	Let's hear the real pitch.
	And that's how I feel when I get, hey, blank, keep it down.
	We're in a movie theater.
	That idea sucks, Adam.
	And final email.
	For Ryan.
	You've heard of truck nuts.
	Well, how about crock balls?
	Yeah.
	Well, I see them, and that's nice, but that's obscene.
	1,000 years from now, when humans are extinct, this artifact will probably be found by aliens and define humanity.
	All right, let's get to the final vid.
	We're out of time.
	I only got one left.
	I'm gonna go with 66.
	I can't believe no one's done this before.
	It's fucking brilliant.
	I want to marry the chick who did this.
	She is screwing.
	Women are not often funny, but this woman is hilarious and innovative.
	Oh, my God.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Oh, my God.
	I found out who did it, too.
	6'7.
	She is.
	Quality broad and a fucking smoke show.
	No wonder he's smooching her in bed every second he gets.
	She is something.
	Scroll down?
	She looked better before.
	Look at this little piece.
	But the next thing is that I should do with this tens unit.
	Last time I put it on my face.
	So this time, you guys said, put it on my arms and try to brush my teeth.
	So that's what I'm going to do.
	She's like a...
	It's a Puerto Rican mom.
	That's a Puerto Rican, like 6.8.
	6.6.
	You're weird.
	You're weird.
	So so far I have her.
	And so far I got on 11 and 13.
	Let me turn this one up to 10.
	What a fun broad.
	She cooks well.
	Problem with Puerto Ricans is they dump you if you're not sexist.
	I know a lot of guys who are married to Puerto Ricans and Dominicans, and they started being cool and like, no, go back.
	I have a boner.
	That's why I left.
	You're just over here falling in love with this bud.
	I can't let this play.
	Laughing at her cute Lantics.
	No.
	What's the next one?
	I don't know.
	Hey, 50% of couples get divorced.
	I need some plan B's in case I get dumped.
	Look at that ass.
	It's insane.
	Let me see the other one with her scrubs.
	Oh my God.
	If she got camo pants on a rock with high-heeled boots on, they're not known for their...
	What the fuck?
	That ass should come with a warning.
	Do you think her eyes are smoky?
	Wait, let me see the chamo, though.
	That'll help me get over her.
	What's chymo?
	Camo.
	I was something in my mouth.
	What is stung?
	That outfit is retarded.
	You're going on a hike in your stilettos?
	I'm a military.
	Thank you for breaking the spell.
	I can get on with my life.
	So that's it, folks.
	The rise of the tattletales is the theme of this show.
	There's real shit going on in the world.
	We're headed for an economic collapse as Joe turns up the spending to the trillions.
	That means a crash.
	That means inflation.
	I think we're going to have a hot market for a year of people spending, getting out of COVID, getting free money, and then nothing's free.
	No such thing as a free lunch.
	Crash in a year from now.
	And then the woke politics won't seem quite as fun.
	And these tattletale reporters will go broke because there's no real market in this.
	I mean, it does get an initial click, but it's dirty.
	And people are turning off the news now because you're following around some guys that were at a Canada Day thing five years ago and tattletaling them, tattletailing on them.
	The stasi can't last.
	Communism can't last.
	Americans don't like it.
	So we're headed off a cliff like Thelma and Louise.
	But some of us can survive the impact.
	I'm hoping it's you and me and not them.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.

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