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Jan. 14, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:52:16

S03E60 - AFFIRMATIVE ACTION

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	That was Basement Jacks.
	And the song was Where's Your Head At?
	It's a house classic from the early aughts, and I really like it because it has these sort of samples and shout-outs.
	Well, the main sample is Gary Newman, but there's other DJs and producers involved that were in the early days of house music.
	And that's relevant because of this fun book.
	Originally a French book, Le Champson de la Machine or something like that.
	The Song of the Machine, from disco to DJs to techno, a graphic novel of electronic music done by this guy, Matthias Cousin, David Blott, did most of the writing.
	And they go through like disco and how that involved into the Detroit scene and Chicago house.
	And then they get into Manchester and New Order and all that stuff.
	And then right up to techno.
	And the cool thing about it is this frog cartoonist changes his style of drawing for the era.
	So it starts out in the old days, it's very Robert Crummy when he's talking about the 70s and the 80s and stuff.
	But then as it gets more modern, he gets more stylistic.
	You see?
	That's modern, and then that's old-timey.
	I don't know if you're not interested in house or electronic music in general, you're not going to enjoy that book.
	But if you are, you will.
	I just finished a fucking call with a guy at TMZ, Jacob Wasserman, calls me.
	Who, can we get you on Zoom?
	Can we talk about the Proud Boys and what they're going to do January 20th?
	So here's what he wants.
	You thought January 6th was intense.
	January 20th, the Proud Boys are going to rain hell upon America.
	Trump's speech says calm down, but he really meant stand by.
	You thought you ain't seen nothing yet.
	And TMZ, Harvey's there with his super goap.
	And so I started telling him the truth.
	I showed him the clip of our show, December 22nd, where me and Noblebeard said, don't go, don't go.
	I explained the stabbings and I explained what the club is.
	And I said, he goes, I want to show both sides.
	I go, well, that may be true.
	I don't even know if you believe that.
	I think you believe that and you don't realize what's happening.
	If it bleeds, it leads.
	The truth doesn't bleed in this scenario.
	So your story's dying.
	And I go, it's so meta because as I'm saying this to you, the story is dying on the vine.
	And he said, well, intelligence has said there's big plans for December January 20th in every city.
	And I assume that's Proud Boys related too.
	I'm like, no and no.
	And fuck Intel.
	Intel.
	Did Intel know it was going to happen at the Capitol?
	Look at all these soldiers that are there right now.
	The horse has bolted, my friend.
	You're a little late.
	And by the way, why weren't there many soldiers after the Kavanaugh hearing when they stormed in, what was it, 2017?
	They stormed the Capitol, took it over exactly the same way.
	By the way, this is a bad ad for energy drinks.
	There's an energy drink on this statue of whoever that is, George Washington.
	And they're all asleep.
	If I was this brand, I would sue because it says this energy drink don't work.
	It's clearly the middle of the day.
	So as I explain that there's, I don't think there's going to be anything, fuck Proud Boys.
	There's not going to be anything from any MAGA people on January 20th.
	The point was made.
	See, the press, the Bleeds at Leeds press, want January 6th to be the opening act, the appetizer, but it's not.
	It's done.
	It was Animal House.
	It was a fuck you.
	Fuck this place.
	And we're not going to see anything on January 20th.
	Mark my words.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	That's exactly what the Capitol attack was.
	I hate this fucking shit.
	Whack.
	That thing I can't figure out is, are they facing misdemeanors or 10 years?
	I've said both on this show because the media said both.
	Cops tell me it's just all going to be misdemeanors.
	And then the New York Post says, oh, that judge's son is looking at 10 years.
	Look at this, AOC.
	She wants a truth squad.
	You know, language police, like we have in Britain.
	What did Ezra Levant say?
	He says, I love going to Britain because it's like a dystopian time machine where I can see where America's going to be in five years.
	I have a very interesting thing to show you.
	Ryan always takes my shit here at the studio.
	Drinks my beer, has my sandwich.
	If I have half a Subway sandwich, I'll go check on the second half and it's fucking gone.
	So what I have now is a Budweiser lockbox.
	I've already done the combination here.
	So I take that out.
	I'm going to be changing the combination, of course, after this.
	Wait, which side is...
	Yeah.
	So you turn it this way.
	And then this is just for show.
	Then you then you pop it out and there's all your stuff.
	You can even fit a beer in there.
	It's not a joke.
	And then you put it back like this.
	Sorry.
	And then you lock it.
	You see how the lock part comes out?
	Scramble the code.
	Your shit's safe.
	So I can hear your heart breaking, Ryan, as I show this.
	You're going to have to get your own fucking Food.
	Well, I want one though, too.
	I've never touched your disgusting food.
	You eat garbage, weird street shit like that orange meat you had last night, and you drink foreskin drippings.
	How dare you!
	Has anyone ever smelled kombacha?
	Kombucha.
	I could masturbate 13 times a day and sleep with wet underwear every night, and my foreskin wouldn't come close to the disgusting smell of kombacha.
	I'll eat your ass.
	Now you're wondering why I mentioned masturbating.
	What masturbating does is it loosens the dry skin.
	You're always shedding, right?
	But with a foreskin, it sheds and it has nowhere to go.
	So it stays there and ferments and it becomes what's called a dick cheese.
	So the more you would masturbate, the more you would wear skin off, the more there is to ferment.
	Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
	So gentlemen, if you have a foreskin and you're single and you never know if you're going to get laid that night, keep some wet wipes in the bathroom.
	That was too much of indescence.
	But then you don't want your head to taste soapy.
	So what I used to do is, and the girls would usually laugh, I would, after cleaning myself, I'd recede my foreskin and put a little dip of honey on the head and then roll it forward.
	Little treat.
	Oh.
	That is real.
	And I'd usually get like, oh.
	What do you think?
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
	I swear I was looking for the one that was like, the homeboy's going to like get it.
	Speaking of her face, that woman is hot, obviously, but I don't think she's had a lot of plastic surgery.
	She's a child.
	But I think women are trying to get that face.
	Show her again.
	That's what, Gigi Hadid?
	Yes.
	They're trying to get that Bambi look.
	So they want a little cartoon nose, and then they want big lips like that.
	And the plastic surgery they're getting is turning them into Michael Jackson weirdos.
	For example, one, two.
	So this chick, Brielle Bierman, she was from Real Housewives of Atlanta.
	So she's tested positive for coronavirus, unfortunately.
	Let's look at her fucking weirdo face.
	Look at that nose.
	Do you know what I mean?
	Oh, wow, that's fake.
	Like her nostrils are pinholes.
	She has to pick her nose with tweezers.
	And then the big fake lips.
	Like, it looks good in a comic book.
	But if that was in your house all the time, you'd just be like, I'm wearing, I'm with someone who has a Halloween mask on.
	You know what I mean?
	And it also strips the face of its character.
	Look at that.
	That's Michael Jackson.
	So it's not just the nose and the lips she's had done with weird like joker schlits, but her eyes have also been.
	And of course, she's putting up these pictures.
	So she takes a thousand of them.
	You're seeing the very, very best with filters and everything where she looks normal.
	Wait, who is that at the bottom?
	Oh, is she the daughter of the Real Housewives of Atlanta?
	Who's that chick?
	Kim.
	Oh, I get it now.
	That's the slutty chick from Real Housewives of Atlanta.
	Mom Kim Riel.
	And her daughter is Brielle.
	Yeah.
	That's it.
	That's sad.
	Look at her 1-3.
	Here's her normal face.
	Now, like, I'm sure an AI would say that is less pretty than the previous girl.
	Okay, whatever, robot.
	Go fuck a dick.
	Don't know what that means.
	I don't know what that means.
	But that's like her real face, sort of.
	You can see the real girl in there.
	And she's like a solid 6.5.
	But she's had her tits done, her face done.
	Isn't there something macabre about young women getting plastic surgery and fake tits?
	I mean, I understand if you've had six kids and they're just fucking deflated pancakes, they give your husband nightmares and there's nothing there.
	That's a before.
	I would just say, well, fuck her with her bra on.
	But okay, go get your tits done, I guess.
	Or if they're hanging into your pockets and they're bumping around, they can get caught in your waistband.
	If your nipples get pinched by your belt buckle, okay, maybe I understand, having them taken up.
	But a fucking 20-year-old getting bowling balls in her chest?
	It breaks my hizart.
	It makes me sad.
	It hurts God's feelings.
	It's like plastic flowers and perfume.
	Which is why I hate fucking cologne.
	You must love it after we finish the Thursday show because you go, oh, I get to rub chemical perfume all over my body.
	Yeah, I enjoy it.
	You enjoy cologne.
	Oh, I was going to do this.
	Mother Nature's hella pissed.
	Yeah, she is.
	Mother Nature's hella pissed at plastic surgery.
	Speaking of plastic surgery, oh, wait, let's show this one.
	This guy, I looked up his Instagram.
	It's not funny, but just like a one-hit wonder, even a broken clock is right twice as he did a fucking hilarious bit.
	So don't look up this guy's Instagram and you'll be disappointed.
	I promise you, I'm just showing you a fucking gem.
	Isn't that cool?
	How many, we've all been there, right?
	When you're wasted and you wake up and you have like three coats on you or something.
	You took off your pants and then use them as leg blankets somehow.
	Oh, it works.
	Take off your hoodie, anything.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Should we just dive into it?
	Do we have anything funny to discuss?
	Because I'm about to get heavy, dog.
	Come on, man, Mikey.
	Andrew Yang is running for mayor.
	He's going to save us all.
	He says he spent his formative years here.
	Former Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang, 46, officially announces his Bid to run for New York.
	Not happening, dude.
	Scroll down.
	Andrew Yang for president.
	God, he's so Chinese.
	He sure is.
	He looks like a racist mask.
	Yeah.
	Like, go back to that picture.
	If that was in a Halloween store, they would be boycotted.
	Atifa would throw bricks through their window.
	We don't look like that.
	There'd be the Asian American Society suing them.
	And Andrew Yang would come up and he'd go, I want that mask out of that window.
	We don't look like that.
	That looks exactly like him when he did that.
	He doesn't have eyes there.
	They're gone.
	They're gone.
	Chinese driver, no surviva.
	His wife is...
	Excuse my prurience.
	Prurient.
	That's a great word you should know.
	P-R-U-R-I-E-N-T.
	Pruriant.
	And it's always having a sexual angle on things.
	A sexual...
	And I've noticed that this show is somewhat prurient because the first thing I thought of when I saw Andrew Yang was, his wife kind of looks like Lucy Liu.
	She's hot.
	Yeah, she does.
	Kind of looks like Lucy Liu.
	Go look at 1-6.
	This will be an interesting to hear your take on her because you are so racist towards your own people.
	I can see beauty.
	I'm just not attracted to them.
	It's weird.
	What do you think that is?
	And keep in mind, she's old.
	She's probably 40.
	Oh, she's very pretty.
	She's like 8-ish.
	Oh, good.
	Okay.
	I mean, I'm sure sad that other Chinese woman is behind her.
	Yeah.
	Fuck.
	I thought we all looked the same.
	I guess some of us are hotter than others.
	Some chinks are hotter than others.
	Some chinks and others are hotter than other chinks and others.
	Ooh, that's a bad one.
	That's a racist epithet.
	Racial epithet.
	Ooh, she looks great in that picture below, right next to me.
	Her hair's kind of rough.
	No, above now?
	Above?
	Okay, right here.
	No, no.
	I said there.
	Blow that up.
	I like it when a girl's hair is kind of frizzy, not, you know, kind of tussled.
	That cookie looks like Obama.
	The math one.
	Oh, yeah, it does.
	Oh, we need to start focusing on math.
	A lot of folks, they don't have math.
	Okay, here's...
	I'll pay you $100 if you can guess why he will never win.
	I don't know.
	He bailed on New York City.
	That's not it.
	But that would turn me off if I still lived in that shithole.
	The going got tough, and you fucked off to New Paltz.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	That's my grandparents' neck of the woods-ish, kind of.
	Isn't it a shithole?
	I mean, the college area is kind of nice.
	They got a lot of nice lakes and hiking links.
	I've put the right link.
	It's not bad.
	I mean, I like it.
	Are you sure you clicked on it?
	1-5.
	Yeah.
	You clicked on the wrong link, you boob.
	Oops.
	Oh, that's me.
	Andrew Yang left New York as COVID surged.
	God, these notes are so tiny.
	The former presidential candidate who is poised to announce a run for mayor this month lives with his family in a Manhattan apartment, but a review of his social media posts, television appearances, and news coverage demonstrate they sought more comfortable living arrangements in their four-bedroom second home in New Paltz,
	New York, which they had purchased five years earlier, according to public records.
	That's not why, though.
	Can you at home guess?
	I'll give you a clue.
	You ready?
	The clue is kombucha.
	Kombucha.
	Can you say it in a sentence?
	The clue is kombucha.
	Too late.
	Four skins.
	He is a circumcision activist who thinks it's macabre and doesn't see a difference between male circumcision and female circumcision.
	I'm inclined to agree, Andrew.
	I think it's disgusting.
	I think it's cruel and unusual.
	And the notion that kids don't feel it.
	Okay, why does a circumcision tray have a head strap, a shoulder strap, wrist straps, all these straps, like some sort of prehistoric torture device?
	Because it hurts.
	But if you're anti-circumcision, the Jewish voters of New York will see that as anti-Jewish.
	And that's, without the Jew vote in New York, you're fucked.
	So that's it.
	Is there any way to like to differentiate that and be like, besides people that religiously practice circumcision?
	Yeah, but now you're saying, that's like saying going like this is evil and stupid, unless, of course, you're Catholic.
	So now these people are going, oh, I guess this is evil and stupid.
	Speaking of New York, the New York Times suffers from an affirmative action.
	The whole country, I think I might call this episode affirmative action because it keeps coming up in my notes today.
	AOC is an affirmative action hire.
	Dean Baquette, they go, we need a black guy.
	Can any of them run the New York Times?
	There's a guy in New Orleans, and you can have that whole New Orleans flavor, jambalaya thing.
	Okay, he's hired.
	He's the boss.
	Really?
	He hasn't really been doing this for that long, but he's black.
	Okay.
	Hired.
	And then they go, we need to do a podcast.
	Podcasts are hot.
	Do you have any blacks?
	No, not really.
	They would sound too ghetto.
	You don't have any ones with leather elbow patches that listen to NPR?
	No, we have a fag that does that.
	Okay, let's get him in.
	So we have an affirmative action hire doing affirmative action hire.
	So they start a podcast called Caliphate, wherein they find a guy who goes, yeah, I was in ISIS.
	Done.
	Tell me more.
	Oh, it was really intense and stuff.
	Yeah.
	It's the Kristen Wigg character.
	Yeah, I was in ISIS and it was really intense.
	They go, what did it feel like when you killed a guy?
	We need some sensationalism.
	Just like my TMZ buddy I talked to.
	And he goes, well, I think this might be the clip.
	I think this guy, we now believe was a con artist who made up most, if not all, of what he told us.
	Look, there was a well-known reporter involved in it, Rukmini Kalamachi.
	But this failing isn't about any one reporter.
	I think this was an institutional failing.
	Yeah.
	It's affirmative action.
	Institutional failing.
	True.
	It's called vetting.
	You ever heard of vetting?
	There he is.
	That's their black guy.
	But I thought I had the clip where they go, how did it feel when you murdered.
	Oh, that might be it.
	That's the liar.
	How did it feel?
	There we go.
	It just, at the time, it just felt disgusting but numb at the same time, like gloomyish.
	Gloomy-ish.
	I just instantly thought, I'm a psycho killer now.
	What the hell did I just do?
	How did you feel when you killed a man?
	It felt gloomy-ish.
	And I thought, I'm a psycho-killer.
	That sounds like a fact.
	How pathetic is that?
	And then, of course, the writer, 1-8, the gay dude, Michael Barbero, who, by the way, how's this for weird?
	The producer of this podcast was a young girl.
	Look how successful he is.
	This is, again, affirmative action and the media.
	So when they find one of these AA hires, they can't wait to sneeze him out and give him all this great press.
	It looks like they caught him in the dude, you can't be in here.
	He's like, that person isn't in ISIS.
	What?
	It's just made up.
	Gloomy-ish?
	Psycho-Killer?
	That's a teenage head song.
	Talking head song.
	Wait, but pull back on this headline.
	It's so fucking sycophantic.
	The voice of a generation, Michael Barbaro, made the New York Times Daily podcast, podcast, the daily, a raging success.
	Or is it the other way around?
	I don't know what's more fantastic, the guy or his podcast.
	But there was a young woman who was a producer on it, another affirmative action hire, and so that homo dumped his husband so he could fuck her.
	She looks like a child, by the way.
	But is that 1.6?
	Yeah.
	What's her name?
	Go back to 1.7.
	You got to see this chick.
	No, no, no.
	Stop, stop.
	Slow it down.
	Go to the top.
	Fuck.
	I'm going to murder you.
	That's the top.
	Yeah.
	That is literally the top, but I obviously mean the opening paragraph.
	We've already seen all that other shit.
	Boop-ba-doo-ba-doo, letter posted, keep going.
	Oh, so Barbero tried to shut it down.
	There she is.
	Lisa Tobin.
	So Barbero went on a rampage trying to shut everything down and stop the story from escaping because not only was he stupid enough to listen to these lies.
	Show me that thing?
	Yeah, that's her.
	I can see why a gay would leave another band for this weird boy.
	That's a good starter, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Hey, gays, if you're trying to D gay yourself, start with a weird little boy-looking girl.
	And then slowly work your way up to like an Eva Mendez.
	Look at that thing.
	He dumped his husband for her.
	So this is what you get when you have affirmative action.
	You get a bunch of shit.
	It's not based on merit.
	It has to be based on merit.
	Like Kanye West.
	I know he is pretty talented.
	But he said, I want to do a comedy show because he was, I think he was on Craig Anchors or he saw it once.
	And he goes, I want to do like a puppet show.
	And they went, sure, come on in.
	And holy shit, does it suck.
	Let's check it out.
	I didn't know this.
	Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had a puppet comedy show.
	So I think what happened here is Kanye dumped some chick because he had a crush on Kim Kardashian.
	I think he was about to marry the previous chick, but he saw that that ass.
	He likes big butts and he cannot lie about anything else.
	Fuck.
	No, no, go back.
	What do you think I'm doing?
	So Kanye West likes big butts and he cannot lie.
	And he saw Kim's gigantic, fucking, freakishly big ass.
	I love big asses too, but that's too much.
	That's too much ass.
	If she sat on your face, you would die.
	So he was dating some chick.
	I think he was going to marry Ari Dumpter.
	And then he brought in Kim Kardashian into this pilot he was working on that is a puppet comedy show.
	It's scary shandling, basically, meets SNL with puppets.
	So there's sketches and there's things, but we also see the green screen and we see behind the scenes.
	I don't hate the pitch, although comedy with puppets is rough.
	I don't think I've ever seen it done well.
	That Team America World Police was fucking hilarious, but there was no people in it.
	And then there was that one that Fatso did, that Melissa McCarthy, where she was a raunchy detective in Puppet Town.
	And that was just grim.
	All right, let's check it out.
	We're at the world-famous Chaplin Stages, which is now the Jim Henson Company.
	This is where Charlie Chaplin shot a bunch of his movies.
	But today we're making comedy of a very different sort.
	Let me lay you down on my silky sheets.
	So that is their auditioning this sketch that has Kim Kardashian as Princess Leia, which I bet Kanye wrote because he used to jerk off to Princess Leia.
	Although now I think he jerks off, he just has Jeffree Star do all this jerking for him.
	And then come in close behind you.
	Then I'll show you my desire.
	And put my penis inside your vagina.
	You know who that is?
	Yesterday, I was talking about Jimmy Kimmel's brother insulting me by saying I don't want to show that retard thing, the soap opera.
	I was wrong.
	It was this guy, Daniel Killison, who is a producer at Jimmy Kimmel's production company.
	This guy is an awesome dude who was a major part of the Perry project.
	I think he was like, Jimmy Kimmel funded a lot of the Perry project, but this guy did the heavy lifting.
	Jimmy just wrote the checks.
	Daniel Kelleson is possibly the most integral part of the Perry Project.
	And of course, if you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch Windy City Heat and your life will never be the same again.
	And it's free on YouTube.
	That joke sucks.
	Penis vagina.
	Come on, everybody.
	This is the place to go.
	Now let the lights, cameras, and stuff.
	I think it's really dark to me.
	Is that just the footage?
	There he is.
	Daniel Killison.
	Created a show called Pope Troy.
	This was 2011.
	He a famous rapper, but everybody else is human.
	Don't nobody know he a pig except for like smart people.
	And like his whole thing is like, uh.
	So it's like, you gonna get a job today, Troy.
	You gonna pay your job some boy, Troy.
	They went to do a cartoon.
	I told him it should be a puppet.
	Just language.
	New Jimmy Kimmel, performed on Jimmy Kimmel's show.
	We went to Jimmy Kimmel's people, Jack Hole Industries, which is Jimmy Kimmel, Daniel Kellison, and Adam Carolla.
	We did a show called Crank Anchors, which they liked.
	And actually, Crank Anchors was funny.
	Sort of how this one was born.
	We all developed the idea more, and then we came up with alligator boots.
	And now, we're doing a pilot.
	Excuse me, sir.
	What's those show?
	Maybe you know these alligators.
	It's a sizzle reel that's not really sizzling.
	It's more of a slow bake reel.
	Don't worry, we won't watch the whole thing.
	Now let's start the show.
	Let's start the show.
	You know what was a good show?
	Do you ever see the PJs?
	Yeah.
	With Eddie Murphy?
	That was really well done.
	What is this show, Phil?
	The premise of the show?
	Hey!
	Give me all your money, bitch.
	And your wives, too.
	We're gonna do a scissor reel.
	Try to have a joke.
	We're two and a half minutes in.
	We've had the penis vagina joke, which sucked, and nothing else.
	You know what I mean?
	That's a titmouse animation.
	They're the top.
	Yeah.
	I think they're originally from my hometown of Ottawa, Canada.
	Before I fly, maybe I should smoke the rest of this blindfires.
	Alligator Boots is, in one sentence, sort of a hip-hop Muppet show.
	But behind the scenes of a variety show that doesn't really exist.
	It's kind of like the format of the old school Muppet show where we've got a guest host who's a human.
	They get a celebrity guest every week.
	And he's interacting with public characters.
	But then there's also the component of Saturday Night Live.
	Like a comedy show.
	Where there's an audience.
	So some of what we're seeing is like the pitch.
	The concept could be good if they had good writers, right?
	And Daddy Beach.
	Fake commercials, really funny videos.
	The other half is behind the scenes.
	What's happening back in the dressing rooms and backstage.
	The show live in 20 seconds.
	And come on.
	Every week there's a new live action host.
	In this case, it's Kanye West.
	Mr. Kanye West.
	The script is very funny.
	I hear a lot of laughing.
	They wrote the script to play off Kanye's reputation for being a diva.
	I bet she's not funny.
	She just sits there fake laughing all day.
	They wrote the script to play off Kanye's reputation for being a little bit of a diva.
	Peanut, where's Kanye?
	Oh, he just called.
	He read it late.
	He's kind of a rude step host.
	They're trying to get him to do certain sketches and songs.
	One in particular, there's sort of a back and forth between him and...
	I like to call it Ryan Fest Altar Ego Port Troy, which is sort of the hero of our show.
	Your manager told me you read the script and you was cool with it.
	First of all, don't touch me.
	Kanye wants to do this big.
	Okay, so that's two jokes we've had in this entire sizzle reel.
	I understand they're pitching a concept, but you could pepper it with some laughs at some point.
	We're four minutes in and we've had the penis vagina thing and first of all, don't touch me.
	And that, that, did you see he had a picture on his desk to Kanye from Kanye?
	This is Nickelodeon levels, folks.
	And then I want to have like Kim Kardashian play Princess Leia because you know Kim Kardashian's ass just show just perfect.
	And our star of the show, Cork Troy, wants to do a club song called Baby in the Club.
	Baby in the Club, she got a baby in the club.
	Look at that girl with a baby rim.
	It's a very funny song that Ryan Fest has written something that I think Ryan Fest saw and came back and put a song about it.
	You know what this is really about?
	This is black culture being filtered through white professionals.
	And it just doesn't work.
	You can't do it.
	I mean, when you look at Tyler Perry movies or the Wayans Brothers, like White Chicks, there's a scene in White Chicks where he, as a woman, goes into the woman's bathroom and he's farting and having diarrhea because his stomach's upset,
	I presume.
	And he's like on the toilet going, and there's women who are putting on their lipstick listening going, what the terrible, stupid, juvenile shit.
	He farts 18 times.
	I counted it.
	And you go, this is not, this is for a different culture.
	This isn't for me.
	So I'm guessing, judging by that rooster that was like, ain't that a bitch?
	We have super juvenile garbage potty humor, and it's filtered through like prose, like The Man Show, Crank Anchors, Jimmy Kimmel, people who've been successful in television for decades, and they just go, I can't, I don't know how to make this baby shit edible.
	You gonna put a club together to 21?
	Honey does not want to do the song that worked for you is written.
	Like five minutes ago, you just said you was gonna do it.
	Like five minutes ago, I lied.
	When they say action, do you already get nervous?
	I'm getting nervous about seeing honey and wedding face, but we're gonna plastic rattle.
	Action!
	Wow, this is terrible.
	I'm really glad it didn't get made.
	Where'd you head at?
	Where's your head at?
	I know that seemed like a total waste of time, and it was, but don't worry, I can redeem it.
	He's done this a few times, and everyone jumps at it.
	Same way with, what's his name, Neil deGrasse Tyson?
	He's not a very accomplished astrophysicist, but because he's black, everyone goes, yay.
	He could say, hey, this is going to sound crazy, but I would love to hunt humans safari style around Manhattan.
	Okay, we'll get some people from death row.
	We'll give them orange jumpsuits and GPS tracking devices, and we'll get you a pith helmet, and you can go nuts.
	Thank you.
	You look at his Twitter following, which was, I think, 347 billion, and the number of papers he had published in peer-reviewed journals, which was like 12.
	And then you had other astrophysicists that had hundreds of published things and zero popularity because of affirmative action.
	So every time Kanye West goes, I have an idea, they go, yes, please, it's done.
	And he's not funny.
	If you want someone to do a funny show, find someone who's funny.
	Like fucking Kyle Dunagan.
	Kyle Dunagan is not black.
	He's not gay.
	He's not a woman.
	But he is one of the funniest fucking people in the world.
	Did you see the latest at home with Sly?
	At Home with Sly Stone, Child Actors?
	He's showing how these different child...
	I haven't laughed.
	I laughed out loud.
	I laughed out loud very rarely.
	And this made me laugh my head off.
	Is that child actors?
	This is December 21th.
	This came at Home Alone.
	No, no, no, no.
	This is brand new.
	Is that the most recent one?
	Shit.
	What, a month ago?
	No, no.
	Six days ago.
	Oh, he does a lot.
	Why wouldn't you have these in chronological order?
	Did you click videos?
	Yeah, this is all videos.
	At home with him, Sly Six.
	Anyway, he's talking about childhood stars who aged weird, and he has the Josh Hadley, whatever his name is, I see dead people.
	And then they show him now, and he goes, I see dead people.
	I see Jazz Bono.
	And the kid does look exactly like Jas Bono.
	I was laughing for five minutes.
	It was an Instagram reel.
	Oh, that's why.
	But those don't register, do they?
	Oh, yeah.
	We can get those.
	Oh, shit.
	I just blew it then.
	I ruined the joke.
	But anyway, that guy's a humorous guy.
	Why do you want everything to be a pizza pie?
	Sanitation workers are almost all black.
	With a few Italians peppered in for good mix.
	Do you want them to be half women?
	I've never seen a Chinese sanitation worker in my life.
	Should there be?
	According to your rules, there should be.
	Everyone should experience everything.
	Just show any part of Donegan and Sly at home.
	Was that a new Joe Biden?
	I think so.
	Yeah.
	How old is that?
	This guy needs a show.
	He's incredible.
	Hey, yo, just want to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving.
	It's a time for merriment and flammy gatherings.
	You know?
	President Joe Biden here will tell you we wish you a happy 4th of July.
	No, no, no, not 4th of July.
	The 5th.
	Hey, Karen, someone whacked that fucking turkey that took my commercial.
	Hope you all get stuffed.
	Yeah, Mary.
	That's a metaphor for Jacks.
	The corn day.
	Happy Corn Day to you.
	God bless us, everyone.
	Did you just quote a Christmas carol?
	Yes.
	Happy rape, pillage, and take your land day.
	Leonia Penn Santa Santa Clarito.
	Anyway, you get the idea.
	That was stunning.
	The Bill Maher is so stunning.
	But it's not just his perfect imitations.
	Like, you gotta give yourself an hour and watch at home with Slystone on Kyle Dunnegan's channel.
	It's a slow burn.
	It took my, my wife was like, I'm not watching this anymore.
	I go, hold the line.
	Keep the faith.
	The kraken is coming.
	Let's just.
	We love the guy.
	Greatest president ever.
	It's over.
	You're a fucking idiot if you do anything on January 20th.
	We got rock and roll mouse now.
	I hate rock and roll mouse.
	It's pretty crazy there, doesn't it?
	Okay, we're gonna have to work on that.
	Find Kanye West doing Kirby's enthusiasm.
	Oh, wait, wait, show some of that.
	What was that?
	But chats, we're gonna fix up Kirby's garage with those.
	That is a you folks.
	He's got a easy thing to do.
	All right?
	There's a yo.
	It's not while in a bunch of oaths.
	It's one.
	All right.
	Now don't make don't make Stallone mad here.
	That's a yo.
	Exclamation points, okay.
	Hold on.
	Let me.
	Elon Musk said to watch Demolition Man.
	Would you take his rocket for a ride?
	I guess he recommends...
	Demolition Man is an awesome movie.
	Okay, that's enough.
	He takes these.
	People pay and they call it a yo.
	But yeah, let's see Kanye West doing Curb Your Enthusiasm.
	Like If I was a TV exec and Kanye West goes, Yo, I have an idea.
	I want to do like Larry David.
	Oh, you mean the funniest guy of all time who's made half a billion dollars with his jokes because he's been doing them since he was a 20-year-old living in Manhattan?
	Yeah, kind of like that.
	All right, what do you got?
	Well, I made a pilot.
	Okay, let's see it.
	Oh my gosh, Mr. Wassman, I'm so glad you're here.
	Thank you so much.
	It's like a dream, like a wish come true.
	Julio!
	What?
	Hold on, hold on, wait a second.
	Okay, oh, no, okay.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello, Scary Tiger.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	I'm with the Make-A-Wish Kid.
	I'm with the Make-A-Wish Kid.
	I feel like your phone would be on when you're going to see a Make-A-Wish Kid.
	I'm with a Make-A-Wish Kid right now.
	For the record, I like Kanye.
	You do.
	Excuse me.
	I wish you liked being funny more.
	I'm trying to do this thing with my husband.
	A great shoe designer and pop artist isn't going to be funny, necessarily.
	Is he here?
	Yankees, right?
	He's to your left again.
	Right there, right there.
	Julio, could you put the PSP down maybe and talk to Kenny a little bit?
	Kanye.
	I'm sorry?
	Kanye.
	Oh, I'm from Ohio.
	We say Kenny.
	That's how we pronounce it.
	Well, I don't care where you're from.
	You pronounce my name Kanye.
	Oh, okay.
	Wait, he's pronouncing it wrong.
	I thought it was Kanye.
	It's Kanye?
	Kanye.
	Where you from?
	You guys say Kanye.
	Did you just come back from the dentist?
	Are your lips numb?
	Oh, Kanye.
	Kanye.
	Kanye.
	Kanye.
	Yeah, okay.
	Like Kanye Rogers.
	Island in the stream.
	She's not terrible.
	No.
	She can tell she's a professional.
	She's giving it something.
	She's trying.
	Who do you like?
	Hasn't this bit been done to death?
	The make-a-wish kid who isn't happy with what the celebrity brought?
	I'm sure I've seen that somewhere before.
	It's a trope just like, how long have you been standing there?
	Yeah.
	He's behind me right now, isn't he?
	Yeah.
	I'm getting too old for this.
	No, that's different.
	Oh.
	R. Kelly's cool.
	Boy, I like DJ Unk, walking out.
	That was real cool.
	What?
	He liked any of my songs?
	They're okay.
	Mr. West was on the side of the song.
	Yeah, he had his mouth wired shut.
	Remember that?
	He had his jaw wired shut one time.
	He broke his jaw, and he did a whole record with his jaw wired shut.
	I don't know when this was, but.
	I'm going to do the whole show with my jaw wired shut.
	It's not hard.
	It does, it just adds kind of a almost like a chick angle, like a LA chick.
	It almost gives you a form of vocal fry.
	Could you rap like that?
	All right, we're going low on substance here.
	Let's get back to serious news.
	BLM.
	So that Portland bookstore.
	Oh, wait, you got to show the BLM Antifa thing.
	Of course.
	Fucking.
	Two, three, four.
	Get fucking away from me!
	Look at these fucking horrible, weak losers.
	Fuck your dad.
	So the Portland bookstore that was going, they never sold Andy Noe's book.
	They were going to.
	And they were screaming, Andy Noe's book isn't out yet.
	So he discussed possibly, see, this is too much plush now.
	It's amazing the balance we had.
	Yeah.
	I mean, do you want to borrow from my area?
	You have all Trump shit.
	Oh, I ain't dumb.
	Holy fuck, you're dumb.
	Ryan, I'm just going to go.
	I removed a Trump statue, and your suggestion to replace it is a Trump statue?
	I just like him.
	I don't want him to go.
	He's gone.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	It's over.
	We got four years of bullshit wokeism and affirmative action to deal with.
	And we've seen how that worked out with the New York Times.
	I felt like a psycho killer.
	It was really gloomy-ish.
	Tell me more.
	Head of ISIS?
	God.
	That stinks.
	Doesn't occur to you when you get something that huge like Mick Jaggers here.
	Really?
	How do I know it's not a Mick Jagger impersonator?
	Let me see him.
	Oh, shit.
	It is.
	So go to 2.0.
	They've released a statement.
	So it feels, and in it they say, it feels ugly and sickening.
	Wait, now you fucking hid it from me.
	Zoom out.
	I can't read shit, Ryan.
	Come on, dude.
	Please work with me here.
	It feels ugly and sickening to give any air to writing that could cause such deep pain to members of our community.
	Wow.
	No one calling for be banned has read it.
	Good point.
	This is like my 10 things I hate about the Jews.
	No one's seen the video.
	Can you zoom out so I can fucking read that?
	It was written by a provocateur who has made a career of inciting violence over inflammatory and inaccurate ideas.
	Prove that.
	You just make wild allegations.
	Proud boys were there at Capitol Rites.
	They did it.
	They were flashing white power symbols.
	They wore orange hats because I said so.
	It's much easier to be a reporter than it was in the 80s and the 70s and the old days.
	Now you just say things.
	Ryan raped five chicks.
	That's four.
	At a party on Thursday.
	It felt gloomy-ish.
	He felt like a psycho-rapist.
	It was really gloomy-ish.
	And then, so, like, everyone's been saying, yes, the Capitol sucked.
	That was rude behavior.
	Terrible.
	But what about all this behavior?
	And CNN explains it to us.
	No, you see, the riots were based on real justified thing, like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and all these innocent black people who've never done anything wrong, just getting killed for sport.
	The Capitol was based on the myths that the election was stolen.
	By the way, CNN, Breonna Taylor was a myth.
	She was a gangster.
	She lived with drug dealers.
	She got shot in the crossfire when drug dealers shot at cops.
	That's shouldn't even register in the local news.
	You know how many fucking 20 blacks went were Breonna Taylore today?
	That's life in the crime-ridden fucking streets of shithole cities like Baltimore and the south side of Chicago and East New York.
	But go back to that.
	People marched by the thousands in both after believing that a wrong had been done to them.
	They were correct.
	And by the way, the insurrection wasn't just based on the election.
	It was based on a year of bullshit media exactly like this.
	The calls for racial justice across America over the summer, however, were backed by the deaths of George Floyd, a drug dealer's girlfriend, and the pain of following generations of anti-blackness sentiment.
	What the fuck language is this?
	The pain of following generations of anti-blackness sentiment, not even anti-black sentiment.
	What a sentence.
	That's like someone in college wrote this.
	Some black girl who's half black, who's black dad, peaced out.
	She's got a big afro, black power.
	She always shits on her white mom.
	And she got a job at CNN the day she graduated.
	Unlike BLM protests, the insurrection at the Capitol was triggered by lies and deeply rooted racist stereotypes, experts say.
	The race thing on that, it's just like abortion.
	50% of women are pro-life.
	Why is it anti-woman to be pro-life?
	Anyway, Don Lamond further elucidates not just why Antifa are good.
	In fact, he said that a while ago.
	Remember?
	It's in the name Anti-Fascist.
	So he's already explained why Antifa is good.
	But let's hear exactly why we are bad.
	Now what you hear is, well, you can't say that everybody who voted for Trump is like the people who went into the Capitol.
	Response.
	You can't say that, what, everybody's like?
	Everybody who voted for Trump is like them.
	And now, just to explain to you, if you are on that side, you need to think about the side you're on.
	I am never on the side of the Klan.
	I am principal people, conservative or liberal, never on the Klan side.
	Principal people, conservative or liberal, never on the Nazi side.
	Principal people who are conservative or liberal, never on the side that treats their fellow Americans as less than.
	That says that you're full of people.
	Less than.
	Anti-blackness.
	Marginalized people.
	We should have a whole, we should start a list of all their weird words.
	Less than.
	Remember it was, you don't want me to exist?
	The whole trans thing?
	What have you done?
	Principal people, conservative or liberal, never on the Nazi side.
	Principal people who are conservative or liberal, never on the side that treats their fellow Americans as less than, that says that your fellow Americans should not exist.
	That says your fellow Americans should be in a concentration or that sides with slavery or sides with any sort of bigotry.
	Right.
	And if they say, I don't agree with those people, I just like Trump's policy.
	Well, then get out of the crowd with them.
	Get out of the crowd with them.
	I wasn't in the crowd.
	I just voted for Trump.
	You're in the crowd who voted for Trump.
	If you voted for Trump, you voted for the person who the Klan supported.
	You voted for the person who Nazis support.
	You voted for the person who the alt-right supports.
	That's the crowd that you are in.
	You voted for a person who supported the people.
	If you check into the alt-right, the modern alt-right, the Richard Spencers and stuff, they are pro-Muslim, pro-jihadists.
	They like that Muslims are traditional, that they behead homosexuals, and they love that radical jihadists hate Israel.
	So, if you don't support Israel, you are on the side of the jihadists.
	Get out of the crowd with them.
	If you don't support Israel, you are on the side of the Nazis.
	Get out of the crowd with them.
	You see how it works, you fucking boob?
	Hitler used toilet paper.
	You used toilet paper.
	Are you Hitler?
	All dogs are mammals.
	All cats are mammals.
	Are all cats dogs, Don?
	No.
	What you're doing right there is called guilt by association.
	And we learned of this logical fallacy in high school.
	Freshman year, even.
	Let's check in with some of these Klan members.
	Two, three.
	Let's see who's on the side of the Klan.
	Among those arrested in Capitol Hill are Olympic gold medal winner, a CEO, a sitting state representative, retired lieutenant colonel in the military, off-duty police officers, the son of a judge.
	And you know what's funny the take on that is?
	Not that they're not Nazis, but that that's just proof that Nazism is so deep-seated in our community.
	It's systemic, you see?
	Even CEOs are Nazis.
	Hoi, way.
	By the way, little side note.
	I don't really get insurrection.
	Like, I understand that these assholes were mad and they wanted to wreck the place and give a final fuck you to the system.
	I get that.
	But that's not the narrative.
	The narrative is that they wanted to take over the government.
	Really?
	I'm just not buying that.
	I can't picture it.
	So what happens?
	Like, the noose was obviously a metaphor.
	We'd love it if this was the 1700s and we could hang you.
	That's the sort of implication.
	They're not going to literally hang Nancy Pelosi, then put her body there, and then hang AOC, then throw her body down, and then hang them all.
	And then they can walk in.
	Wait, who's that black guy?
	Oh, this is the Piero cop.
	Oh, okay.
	And then what do they do?
	With their bullhorns and stuff, their Jamirique hats, they go, okay, first order business is the Bay Bridge in San Francisco with the infrastructure is rusting at the bottom.
	They want FEMA money to help with that.
	I think that's a local state matter.
	Say I agreed.
	I. Okay.
	Call the Jamirique guy down in San Francisco and tell him he's on his own with the bridge repair.
	Next order business.
	How does it work?
	This is all well documented in the crass song Bloody Revolutions, where they talk about post-revolution and they say, who supplies the energy?
	Where Zyklon B succeeded, North Sea gas will fail.
	It's just a Simote story of man destroying man.
	We've got to look to have answers for the problems of this land.
	You talk about fighting power with violence as your goal.
	And then he says, what does he say?
	It's just another set of bigots with their rifle sights on me.
	Which is exactly what would happen with any revolution.
	This is some slow-ass internet, bro.
	Yeah, what's going on?
	It's ouchies trying to plot it for a while.
	Well, we got a lot of vids.
	We do, yeah.
	Oh, that's fine.
	From the beginning?
	No, why don't I listen to the whole fucking thing?
	I know those dudes.
	I think they might.
	I don't think they like me again, because G and Penny don't respond to me anymore.
	But I think they still like my kids.
	So maybe my daughter will go visit them.
	You ever hear that thing where it says it's impossible to hate somebody who made you laugh or you made them laugh?
	Well, I used to make Penny Rimbaud piss his pants laughing.
	You know?
	That could be a thing.
	Do you hate David Cross?
	Nope.
	Yeah.
	See, that's the thing.
	He might not hate you either.
	David Cross never fucked me over and all that shit.
	And he never actually said, we can't be friends anymore.
	It just sort of became an understanding that I was leaving the Amish community.
	So he's still Amish.
	When did you meet Krass?
	I don't know, around 2000?
	Well, no, no.
	I was there with my kids.
	My eldest boy was probably four.
	So about 10 years ago.
	Pretty cool.
	Speaking of affirmative action hires, Alexandria Okezi-Cortez was elected because she is female and Hispanic.
	She lied and pretended that she was from the Bronx.
	She's not from the Bronx.
	She is as Bronx as I am British.
	I left when I was five.
	She left when she was five.
	She is a Westchester kid.
	She's an upper middle class, middle class, basically a white girl.
	I bet she can't even speak Spanish.
	I want to see that.
	See if you can find her speaking Spanish on your shittiest internet in the world.
	Let's see what we got.
	Let's see.
	Telemundo, okay.
	If you're speaking Spanish, that'd be the place to do it.
	Dude, if I could understand everything she's saying, that is bad.
	I understand everything she just said.
	Oh, really?
	Yes.
	That's not good.
	No.
	No, it's not.
	Can you tell if she has an accent?
	It sounds a little like she learned instead of grew up with like in school.
	Yeah.
	Puerto Rico.
	That was pretty good.
	Puerto Rico.
	I mean, Puerto Rico.
	Papayar.
	So that's why she was hired.
	And the problem with that is when you hire someone, like say you made me the head of the Hells Angels tomorrow because I have a beard.
	Guess what would happen?
	I would fuck it up.
	I would be like, what's going on?
	Yeah, the guys in Quebec are out of hand.
	They're killing people.
	We have to go up there and kill some guys.
	What?
	I can't go.
	What are you talking about?
	You have to go.
	You're the head guy.
	You're going to be doing the shooting.
	Don't we have henchmen?
	I don't want to feel gloomy-ish.
	I don't want to feel like some psycho killer.
	By the way, did you get rid of that giant meth shipment?
	Oh, that.
	Yeah, I don't.
	Where do I send it?
	Oh, for fuck's sakes.
	And then I'd start going crazy and crying and maybe doing drugs to alleviate the stress.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	AOC's not good at it.
	And I think politics is hard.
	I don't like saying that because they're all fucking incompetent imbeciles.
	But let me just say the hours.
	There's a lot of hours in it.
	Margaret Thatcher slept four hours a night, famously.
	And you look at Barack Obama when he went into office in 08.
	And even four years later, he looked like Barack Obama's great-grandpa.
	So AOC is melting down.
	You didn't, you hired me to run the Hells Angels.
	And this is what it sounds like.
	So 2-4, she goes, I almost died at the Capitol.
	What?
	And then she goes, I can't get into the details, but it was really intense.
	This is the thing about 2020.
	Everything's on tape.
	So this whole thing with like Proud Boys stormed the Capitol.
	We saw the videos.
	We've seen the arrests.
	It's a judge's son.
	It's old MAGA dudes.
	You're lying.
	Yeah, but Nick Ox was here.
	Yeah, one guy, one of the arrests was a guy who happens to be a member, and he was shooting it for his murder, his media company called Murder the Media, which is ironic because he hates the media because they always lie.
	And here he was filming for Murder the Media, and the media is lying about it, and they're making him want to murder them.
	That was where they did the John of Max drink-a-thon thing, too.
	It fucking stinks.
	Remember where they raised the donations for the character?
	Oh, yeah.
	That's what they were raising money for Liberty Kinsmen.
	So that's two charities for Liberty that have been shut down.
	Murder the Media Drink-a-thons and My Cameos.
	They really are.
	These egalitarians are really good at fucking over black babies, aren't they?
	Look at this.
	Yeah.
	The winner.
	So here's her quote, and it's on that video.
	As for myself, I had a pretty traumatizing event happen to me, and I do not know if I can even disclose the full details of that event due to security concerns.
	But I can tell you that I had a very close encounter where I thought I was going to die.
	And you have all of those thoughts where, you know, at the end of your life, and all of those thoughts come rushing to you.
	And that's what happened to a lot of us on Wednesday.
	Remember, she said, almost half the people died.
	We should start counting these breakdowns, these freakouts.
	One, I want a truth squad.
	Two, I almost died in the Capitol.
	Three, almost half the people in the Capitol, in the House, were murdered.
	Just bodies piled up.
	I don't know how many people almost died when liberals stormed the Capitol for the Kavanaugh hearings, but that's three lunacies.
	Number four, which is 2-5, we, MAGA supporters, are forever stained with the blood of the people who died that day.
	AOC said that Republicans only care about preserving whiteness.
	I'm going to make that five.
	And she then cast doubt about the legitimacy of the U.S. elections, saying, so get this.
	She thinks the election was illegitimate because Biden didn't get enough votes.
	That is a new one.
	I've never heard that before.
	This election was fixed.
	Biden only won a little bit.
	Whoa.
	And then she pushed unsubstantiated claims of voter suppression in an election that had historic turnout.
	That's six lunatic things.
	Number seven, and back when I would do lists at Rebel, I always wanted it to be 10.
	So I'd have to dig and find three more, but we don't have to do that.
	Number seven, let's just cut the bottom of the country off.
	This was a tweet Amy Siskin put out where she divided the country from the South was out, but California was in, and they got the West Coast, but then Middle America, and then they got Canada.
	And she's divorced.
	She's miserable.
	So she wants the country to be divorced, not just within their marriages.
	And that's something they want.
	How many times have you seen dump a Trump supporter?
	Or my wife, all her old friends cutting her off because she doesn't divorce me.
	So it would be best and equitable for my children to lose a father.
	And if you don't want that, then I don't want to be your friend anymore.
	War.
	But check this out, 2.6.
	She talks about the South, and they all voted for Trump, so they need to be liberated in order for us to heal.
	They're a tumor.
	The South and the flyover states are a tumor.
	This is not an uncommon thing to hear from the left.
	I've heard it many times.
	In fact, the most disturbing version was a, I wish there was a great rain that would just wash the middle states down into the Gulf of Mexico and just leave us with the coast.
	So you want hundreds of millions of people to die because you don't agree with them.
	That's Stalinism, folks.
	These are fucking communists.
	These are not leftists.
	But yeah, she said the South must be liberated.
	Now, we had a civil war.
	We lost 620,000 men in that war, mostly white men fighting to end slavery.
	You're welcome.
	And the equivalent of that today would be 5 million.
	So she's essentially calling for an American genocide, a Holocaust, 5 million Americans dead.
	Because she's nuts.
	Because she's an affirmative action hire and she's in over her head.
	She's probably, you know what she's probably doing?
	Taking tons of Adderall to get her work done.
	And she's melting down.
	I bet her dosage is up to like Milo levels.
	She's doing three pills.
	If I have a quarter of one blue pill, I don't know if all the blue pills are the same, but I am fucking chatty Kathy till 11 p.m.
	If I do it at 7 a.m.
	So an actual entire 60 milligrams, whoa.
	What are you doing?
	Trying to look for that.
	No, you're never going to find it.
	Oh.
	Just check my parlor.
	Whoops.
	Oops, a doopsies.
	It was fun telling that young journalist, if you want to tell two sides, you're out of a job at TMZ.
	I'm not mad, by the way.
	I feel nothing.
	I don't care if I'm TMZ or not.
	I'm just telling you, as someone who's been in media for 30 years, that you're wrong.
	He's a kid.
	He's a young kid.
	I looked him up.
	Looks real young.
	Should I show him?
	Sure.
	But I want to see AOC ranting.
	We've been talking about all her rants.
	We haven't showed one.
	Oh, yeah, she is.
	So you had it before.
	Slow net day.
	Don't worry, at our new studio, these problems won't happen.
	It'll be like zip, zip, zip.
	We should be getting some news about all that pretty soon.
	That's what we got to do.
	We got to organize.
	And I think what we saw in Georgia is a really good example with black women leading the way, with multiracial and multicultural organizations leading the way.
	They proved that southern states are not red states.
	They are suppressed states.
	Which means the only way that our country is going to heal is through the actual liberation of southern states, the actual liberation of the poor, the actual liberation of working people.
	So hold on.
	I get it.
	When she says we have to liberate the South, it sounds like she wants to cut them loose.
	But then she says we liberate the poor.
	She obviously doesn't want to cut the poor loose.
	So how do you liberate the South?
	Does she mean like free people, black people that are in the South facing the most racist spot?
	Bring them north or liberate them from slavery.
	They want to get away from all that delicious barbecue down there?
	Hell no.
	They have southern pride.
	Hi, black family of Mississippi.
	I have some good news.
	We got you a plane ticket to Ohio.
	You're liberated.
	Go, run free through the cornfields.
	So she's nuts.
	She's Really out of touch because there's a great relationship between all sorts of people in the South.
	It's like some of the most friendly places ever.
	Oh, it's the least racist place I've ever been.
	But she's talking about like tropes from like 90s movies or something.
	Racist hellho.
	South.
	In the north, they like blacks in theory, but not in practice.
	In the south, they like blacks in practice, but not in theory.
	I'll take the latter.
	There's more unity in the latter.
	If you secretly resent someone generally, it doesn't really affect their day-to-day.
	I like blacks in theory and in practice.
	2-7.
	So here's a weird one.
	Just like AOC is mad about the election because it was rigged because Biden didn't get enough, BLM and Antifa are mad at the Capitol because they didn't kill enough people.
	They should have been rougher.
	It's like they now police the police.
	So they're pissed at them for not fighting harder.
	They did shoot a woman in the neck.
	Is that not good enough?
	So her contention, and this is probably, I would say a third of the country would agree with her, that cops won't hurt white people, but when black people show up, they go nuts and are ready to kill.
	You are big!
	You guys stand around?
	Where's all this energy at?
	Where was all this energy at?
	Standing around.
	First of all, they stormed the Capitol, so yeah, there's going to be increased security.
	Secondly, the security there looks like about what there was for the other guys.
	Where's that little midget?
	Look at that little tiny cop.
	Oh, wow.
	What the fuck are you going to do?
	It's baby Yoda.
	You know, when I was a kid in Glasgow, they chose police basically on height.
	So they were all monsters.
	It was like some of the Lord of the Rings.
	And if you were bad in Glasgow Public School, they'd bring a cop there.
	And just seeing this giant beast have to lower his head to come in there would make you shit your pants so much you never did anything wrong ever again.
	If I see a cute little cuddly bear show up, hi there, Timmy.
	Wow, that is a small person.
	Where are y'all at?
	Where are y'all at?
	Where's all this at, y'all?
	Look, they got guns, y'all.
	They got all this shit, John.
	They have guns, John.
	They got all them guns, y'all.
	They have guns.
	Oh, they have guns, y'all.
	Guns, y'all.
	Can you imagine if Kyle Rittenhouse was black and the people chasing him were MAGA?
	Are you asking what if the races were reversed?
	Sort of.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	I think that we only need one of those.
	But that's not really races were reversed because it was white-on-white crime.
	But if the politics were reversed and it was someone who shot MAGA guys, he'd be a fucking god.
	He'd be part of the Macy's Day float parade.
	Nike would have a shirt of him.
	But anyway, Kyle Rittenhouse is in trouble because he was at a bar.
	This is 2.9.
	TMZ showing both sides.
	And his shirt said free as fuck.
	Which was stupid.
	I like Kyle Rittenhouse.
	I've met him.
	He's a good guy.
	And I think he must know by now that that was not a great move.
	Right?
	Isn't that messed up that you can't wear a shirt to be like, I'm not afraid of it?
	Well, not when you're on trial.
	Like Tommy Robinson is on trial for beating up a pedophile who touched his daughter.
	He can't talk about it.
	Good point.
	At all.
	And judges are probably kind of touchy about that.
	Be like, oh, you think you're...
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, that's the problem with America.
	It's all this remorse.
	He didn't show enough remorse.
	So this will definitely come up in his trial.
	But he has a website, by the way.
	I think it's called freekyleusa.com.
	That's what it's called.
	Problem with freekyle is it sounds a lot like Zeke Isle.
	So what's the URL?
	Show that you're going to go.
	He looks like Freaky USA.
	FreekyleUSA.com.
	And he's all about the right of self-defense never ceases.
	It's the most sacred.
	I can't read that because the right of self-defense never ceases.
	It is among the most sacred and alike necessary to nations and to individuals.
	James Monroe.
	I mean, it's a hard art.
	It's not an easy argument to say that he wasn't defending himself.
	In fact, I think one of the guys said, I'm going to kill you.
	Yeah.
	He was running away from them.
	Every decade or so, a legal matter arises that holds the power to negatively affect our lives.
	There's about 11 minutes.
	We're not watching.
	But there's a video on there.
	All right, let's jump to Proud Boys then, shall we?
	We shall.
	Proud boys don't start fights.
	They finish.
	I'll make you proud of no boy.
	Proud boys, stand back and stand by.
	They want Proud Boys to be involved in the Capitol so bad.
	Please, please.
	That's what TMZ called me about.
	Basically, his assignment was, so Gavin, as the leader of the Proud Boys, you fuck shit up Wednesday, January 6th.
	What have you got planned for January 20th?
	And then I'm supposed to say, oh, the White House is going to explode.
	We have explosives.
	It's going to be fucking nuts.
	And not just the White House, but every major city in the country.
	Thank you.
	Let's get on to Zoom and get that on TMZ.
	Bring it to Harvey.
	And as soon as I started telling him the truth, I could hear him.
	No, he's a little kid.
	Show what he looks like.
	He's a little kid, so he's still idealistic, but he must know from experience that your writing assignments Are pre-written.
	When you don't fill up the glass with the proper red Kool-Aid, then no one drinks it.
	I'm just going to list a couple of them because they're so ridiculous.
	One of them is called Virus BioShield.
	It's from the distributor, it's called Rats Army, and it's claiming that it suppresses tumor growth.
	I don't know how you could trust a company that goes by Rats Army.
	The second one is called Stay Well Copper.
	The FDA is saying that this is literally a metal sheet that I guess rids you of corona.
	Makes absolutely no sense.
	Yeah, you should get a doctor on, though, dude, to explain why.
	I always thought that was weird, that copper shit.
	We have copper socks that take the what?
	The copper absorbs the cancer?
	Fucking people are retarded, aren't they?
	Copper fit.
	Shut up.
	But I guess, yeah, he knows from experience that when I started telling him that the version of events that wasn't a Bruce Willis movie, then you could see him just, oh, fuck.
	I thought I had a story this morning.
	Back to the drawing board.
	All right, check this out.
	This is interesting.
	3-0.
	And I know you say you should sue.
	I do that.
	I find it's better to find the journalist's cell phone and just say, Alex, what are you doing?
	That's my new technique.
	Don't be abusive or do anything illegal, but just ask her, what the hell's going on?
	In fact.
	Are you?
	What did someone ask me?
	Do you know any terrorists background that have active accounts?
	I might have one of the numbers.
	No, not yet.
	The problem with Hispanic names is they're too common, no offense.
	Ryan Rivera.
	Nonetheless.
	I wonder how many Riveras there are.
	So that chick.
	So no, don't look up how many Riveras there are in the fucking world when we're doing a show.
	So that chick, what's her name?
	Alex Cuthbert or something?
	Alex Culbertson.
	So here's who stormed the building.
	Yes, you're correct.
	That guy did storm the building.
	Good work, new sleuth, but keep going.
	So Ashley Babbitt.
	Yep, she's got shot in the neck for the favor.
	Jake Ang Jelly, that's correct.
	A QAnon supporter.
	Correct.
	The guy with the QAnon shirt is a QAnon supporter.
	Nice work.
	A man with a Confederate flag.
	Is this article written for the blind?
	Who is there, Alex?
	Who is there?
	Well, I see a man with a Confederate flag.
	Okay.
	Is there a guy with a Q shirt?
	He's probably a QAnon supporter, right?
	So she keeps going, just describing photographs.
	Yes, Baked Alaska was there.
	Everybody knows that.
	I knew that as it was happening live.
	So she's like, this is reporting today, just accruing other people's work.
	This has all been correct so far, by the way.
	Camp Auschwitz and neo-Nazis.
	Camp Auschwitz was there?
	What does that mean?
	A guy had a shirt.
	But if I'm wearing a Rolling Stones shirt, were the Rolling Stones there?
	So yeah, some asshole in a virulent anti-Semitic shirt.
	It's Jamie Kennedy.
	Did he think he was going to be making a lot of friends with that shirt?
	Keep going.
	Adam Johnson, that's true.
	We've all seen his lawyer on the news.
	I mean, and then the Proud Boys.
	What?
	There were reports of protesters wearing six MWE shirts, meaning 6 million wasn't enough, in reference to the 6 million Jewish people murdered during the Holocaust.
	This is a lie.
	Now, weeks ago, Proud Boys were standing some fucking imbecile with a cryptic acronym no one's ever heard of before.
	Have you ever heard of 6 MWE?
	Go back up, asshole.
	So they stood next to a Proud Boy, and now it became a Proud Boy slogan.
	Because whatever anyone wears near you is now your slogan.
	So that is what happened weeks ago.
	She's now just taking that event and transposing it over to January 6th, just lying.
	She'd be happier at home.
	She's not a good reporter.
	And yeah, there it is.
	So that was, that's now a slogan of the Proud Boys because they were standing.
	If you saw that, you have to go up to everyone and go, what is your acronym there?
	What is that supposed to mean?
	Oh, it is?
	Okay, you can't stand near me.
	So anyway, go back to her.
	Head of Skeptic Magazine, not being too skeptical about this information.
	Kind of a shame.
	Wait, what does he say?
	Truly a stand-up Proud Boys.
	Proud of being anti-Semites.
	Fuck your stupid Michael Shermer.
	You came on my show.
	Anyway, reports of protesters wearing the shirts.
	Six million was enough.
	There were reports of protesters.
	You see, she says that because you can't refute it.
	There were reports.
	Right?
	And then, so she takes that, and now it's a fact that Proud Boys deny the Holocaust.
	The Proud Boys, a far-right, neo-fascist, and male-only organization that promotes and engages in political violence, are known for using that slogan.
	And by are known, she means, well, that asshole wore the shirt and a bunch of people ran with it, so now they're known for that.
	Members of the Proud Boys were spotted at the Capitol building, right?
	Including Nick Ox from Hawaii, who live streamed inside the Capitol and tweeted a selfie of him smoking, saying hello from the Capitol.
	Yes, a member was there.
	And by the way, Nick, thank you for giving the left the fodder they need.
	Because they don't need much.
	But then everyone else gets a picture, right?
	So she needs a picture.
	So she just takes a bunch of guys in orange hats and say they were wearing orange hats.
	Oh my God.
	You know what I noticed?
	They've changed the caption.
	Before it said members of the Proud Boys in Orange Hats using the white supremacist hand signal.
	Really?
	Yeah, that's been removed.
	Wow.
	What the hell?
	What's going on with that?
	It's just a bunch of guys in orange hats.
	I would recognize them if they were Proud Boys.
	There's Eddie Black.
	Where?
	I don't know that guy.
	He's a reporter.
	He's in a wheelchair.
	Ah.
	So that's fucking ridiculous.
	And now we have this asshole.
	So 3-1, the news becomes...
	This is going to die, by the way, soon, because he has a Hispanic name, and that's Kryptonite to the left.
	I'm definitely slicing a throat.
	Proud Boys member arrested and raided on his NYC home, posted threats to kill Senator blah, blah, blah.
	Edward Florius.
	So he's a proud boy.
	They put it in quotes, right?
	So they can't be charged.
	Floria is reported of having tie, reported of, he's reported of having ties to white supremacist group, Proud Boys, and has been accused of threatening to kill others in the past.
	I contacted her editors and said, what are you talking about?
	But it's still up.
	Still cooking.
	Holy shit, I just had the stupidest thought ever.
	I was looking at the screen and I saw this statue and I thought it was on the Daily Mail.
	And I go, holy shit, I have that same statue in my studio.
	Oh, it does kind of look.
	Yeah, look.
	It does kind of look like it's in the way it's framed up.
	I see you.
	I see you shaking that ass.
	So now they've since changed it.
	3-2, and now he's a fan.
	Proudboys fan.
	Stockpiled ammo and Miles Miller in downtown.
	He's a Proud Boy supporter who threatened to deploy three cars full of armed Patriots to Washington last week.
	Now, this guy sounds like a total piece of shit.
	I think he beat his wife and went to jail for all kinds of assault charges.
	He sounds like an unhinged lunatic.
	However, that being said, he didn't have any guns.
	He had ammunition.
	And they drove a fucking tank to pick him up at his house.
	This is starting, I'm not defending the guy, but this is starting to smell like a Roger Stone type of political theater.
	Look at this shit.
	Edward Florea was 40, was charged with possessing ammunition as a convicted felon and denied bail after the FBI searched his Queen's home and interviewed him about a series of threats about the deadly siege of the U.S. Capitol he made on the social network Parlor.
	See, Parlor has to be banned.
	Prosecutors said the software engineer vowed to travel to the nation's capital and slice a throat.
	That's not a crime.
	Obviously, it's a crime to slice a throat, but to talk shit.
	Do you know how much Antifa talks shit?
	Do you know how much talk there is of killing Donald Trump, killing me, killing Proud Boys, all over Twitter right now?
	The guys from Gab collected all of that.
	They have a whole database of threats coming from people from the left.
	On Twitter.
	Or on Gab?
	On Twitter, I believe.
	They gathered a whole bunch of threats that could be used.
	Just in the same way they're using Twitter.
	Do they get tanks?
	Another post attributed to Floria threatened the life of U.S. Senator Ralph Warnock of Georgia.
	He posted on January 6th that, here in New York, we are target rich.
	Dead man can't pass fucking laws.
	I will fight, so help me God.
	That's not illegal.
	I think the way threats go is it has to be plausible.
	Like say you're the head of the bloods, and you say, I'm going to go kill Gavin McInnis.
	And if you are a blood, go kill him.
	Now that's, it's plausible that that threat could lead to me being killed, so you get arrested.
	But to just say, I want to fucking kill every Trump supporter, yeah, that's legal.
	You could say, I want to kill cops, and it's legal.
	But we're getting closer and closer to the truth squad.
	And they define the truth.
	And if you don't follow it, a tank comes to your house to take you away.
	The tank of truth.
	Truth tank.
	Shark tank.
	Okay, finally, we're not going to do the whole racism thing because I only have one story.
	It makes a nice segue into the mailbag.
	The cyborg from the new movie The Flash has been fired for bitching about racism on the set.
	Now, I've looked into this story.
	There's no substance.
	So I don't know if he's lying, right?
	But if you click on that thing, it goes on and on and on.
	And it's like he was playing cyborg in the movie The Flash.
	You know, Cyborg, one of the Teen Titans, I think.
	My kid watches it.
	Are your diamond earrings okay?
	It's not diamond, but it is okay.
	It was looking pretty good.
	Oh, cubic zirconium?
	Yes.
	Okay, so your fake diamond earring is okay?
	Thank God.
	I mean, you can zoom in on this.
	It doesn't say anything.
	Go back.
	I can't read that.
	It's too tight.
	Pull out, please.
	Despite the misconception, blah, blah, blah.
	The reason behind the declaration was twofold.
	Walter's purposeful, you know, I hate that word, attempt to undermine the Justice League investigation in order to protect his friend.
	So this is, I'll make a long story short, it's really, really boring.
	That stupid little notice.
	It sounds, I think he might be gay.
	I'm getting gay vibes from this complaint.
	But he's saying that there was an investigation into allegations I made of racism and inappropriate behavior on the set.
	And they tried to stifle it.
	They tried to stop the investigation.
	And I've since been written out of the script for raising awareness about this thing.
	I call bullshit.
	And tell me of a scenario where he would be right.
	Like, he walks in and they go, well, look here, it's Enward McGee.
	And the people on the set saying, hey, Nigger, can you come here for a sec, please?
	I noticed with your notes.
	So we know that's not happening.
	That's unimaginable, right?
	So was it jokes like, did someone make a joke like, oh, cyborg's on island time?
	A kind of a racial joke like that, the kind of jokes you hear at my gym?
	Well, then you're a pussy if you can't handle that.
	Like every time, I'm Scottish.
	Whenever I'm around British people and I'll have like a plate of fries and nothing else for lunch, they'll go, fucking Mick, my God, your fucking palate is disgusting.
	Look at you.
	You know why?
	Because you people are always fucking hungover.
	So your stomachs can't handle anything but a fucking potato.
	And I go, haha.
	I don't file a complaint.
	So help me imagine a scenario where he's right.
	He was getting shoved around.
	All right, that's assault.
	Call the cops.
	Do you notice a trend with the black community or black comedy?
	Like, less self-deprecation recently, right?
	Than there was before in general.
	Because a big part of black comedy was like, black people, we see people on the Titanic.
	Women showing the first, fuck that.
	I'm getting on the raft.
	Yeah, it's always like, I would never do that.
	That's dumb.
	A lot of we're lazy kind of thing.
	Black people ain't doing that shit.
	They just want to check.
	Yeah, I guess there's been less of that.
	But that could be a variety of cultural shifts.
	What are you looking up?
	Well, Cyborg being kicked out of a movie for that is less cool, or just as cool, as this guy.
	He dropped out of a movie because he's a cannibal or something.
	There was DMs of him talking about eating people and shit.
	Army Hammer.
	So that's another.
	It sounds like he's exaggerating.
	It's just...
	That's not illegal.
	Well, no one's saying it's illegal, but like hyperbolic.
	He's not going to literally eat her.
	That's a terrible suit.
	Like, I'm sorry to harp on this, but tell me.
	Like, help me out.
	What happened on the set?
	Like, say there was a joke like, what's the difference between a black man and an extra large pizza?
	An extra large pizza can feed a family of five.
	That's an offensive, racist joke.
	Someone told that on the set.
	Okay.
	You can't handle an inappropriate joke on the set?
	I mean, I understand with women, a guy grabbing your ass and saying, I'm going to fuck you.
	I want to fuck you so bad.
	If you don't fuck me, I'm going to fire you.
	Okay, I get that.
	That I can conceive of.
	That's sexual assault.
	That's called quid pro quo.
	We have lots of laws in place for that.
	No problem.
	But a man?
	What happened?
	What could possibly have happened?
	I know, like, the kind of thing that would be really justified would be like, get that fucking N-word out of here.
	I'm sick of looking at his fucking face.
	But you know that hasn't happened in 50 years.
	60 years.
	So what are you bitching about?
	I think that you're an uptight bitch, probably gay, and you're a nightmare to work with.
	And I think it was for the best that you were written out of the script.
	That's just my hunch.
	Now, if we find out there was a noose in his dressing room and they threw fried chicken and watermelon at him every day, I'll apologize.
	But I think it's just someone with a persecution complex making everyone else's life hell.
	And this is what the left has done to black people like Don Laman, is told them that there's some sort of sanctimonious god.
	And if anyone makes you slightly uncomfortable, it's the end of the world.
	And then they end up being catty bitches who wreck everything around them.
	Which brings us to the first letter of the mailbag.
	Ryan shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Dude, why did you add all those wrinkles under my eyes in the final picture for Mailbag?
	That must have taken hours.
	Yeah, it took a long time because they were not there before and I had to put them in there.
	That's petty.
	You know, Andrew WK used to do that to his manager?
	He would take their pictures of just them and he would just fuck with it just a bit.
	Like make them just 1% fatter or he has sort of hemophilia, dark things around his eyes.
	Andrew would just pump them up, like make them like 4% darker.
	Until Trevor was, his name's Trevor Simser.
	He just like was developing a low self-esteem because he'd see himself and go, oh man, a lot fatter in the neck than I thought I was.
	Something subtle like this, maybe?
	No, it was much more subtle than that.
	Okay.
	I'm going to read a letter we've already read before because my hunch is it's the same problem that the cyborg is having.
	I'm an alumna of the Virginia Military Institute.
	It is one of the six senior military colleges in the country.
	It also happens to be the alma mater of the one and only Governor Ralph Kuhnman Northam, class of 81.
	Recently, an article from the Washington Post described the life of black cadets as being oppressed by, quote-unquote, relentless racism.
	Northam has decided to carry out an independent investigation into these claims of clear racism that is present at VMI.
	As of today, the current superintendent, General J.H. Binford P. III, retired U.S. Army, stepped down from his position after 17 years at the helm.
	As a recent graduate that played NCAA sports and lived with basketball players for four years, the issue is not around color.
	The issue is with black NCAA players who come in on scholarships that did not make it on any decent normal sports schools.
	They come involuntarily to an incredibly strict environment that they resist every second of the day to integrate into.
	They relentlessly pull the race card for getting boned for not following the rules.
	It's a shame that SJW culture is trying to bring about the deaths of a school that has produced great military leaders and civilian graduates who have served their country selflessly since 1839.
	Stand black and stand by the culture war.
	There are not enough new sunglasses to go around right now.
	And then he updates us.
	And he says, I'm the guy that sent you the email regarding the private investigation announced by Governor Ralph Northam to look into the claims of relentless racism at the Virginia Miller Institute.
	Oh, I love it.
	I get it.
	So Ralph Northam gets shamed for being in blackface, and his solution is to punish the school where the picture was taken for being racist.
	Yeah, the school made me wear blackface.
	The VMI board, it visitors, has now decided to remove the statue of one of VMI's former professors in its early years, General Thomas Stonewall Jackson of the Confederacy.
	Jackson never attended VMI, but was A widely respected professor.
	He was actually a graduate of West Point.
	He was, in fact, acknowledged by both the Union and the Confederacy as a brilliant military strategist.
	I have included the link to the recent article: The School is Already Caving to the Leftist Northern Administration that has very publicly passed judgment before the independent investigation took place.
	On a final note, take a look at the writer of the original Washington Post article.
	Blah, blah, blah, it's some beta male dork ass loser.
	Oh, there he is.
	So you have the letter.
	That's the guy.
	What he did is he went on a bunch of chats, infiltrated a bunch of military school chats, and he found like rude jokes at edgy memes, and he used that as proof of systemic racism at this military college.
	It's called men.
	Like my boxing gym, it's always, all right, you got one more.
	And then he'll just say, no, actually, I changed my mind.
	Go hit, you know, the heavy bags, two rounds of each.
	You're like, coach, you said it was over.
	I could see getting in the mind of not seeing.
	I think the reason I get punished more is because I'm a dog fucker and I get caught like having a cigarette, not having a cigarette, you know what I mean?
	Cheating.
	So I get punished for not carrying my weight and they make me do extra shit.
	And I get that.
	But I could see if you're brainwashing, you get this like persecution complex in your head that you go, that's fucked up.
	It's because I'm black.
	And then what do you do?
	You sue and you ruin this military institution, just like this guy, I'm guessing, is ruining this set of this movie.
	See, it's a plague, the persecution complex.
	Everyone should be hired for...
	This is a radical belief.
	You ready for this?
	You should be hired based on your skill at that particular job.
	And everyone should be treated equally.
	Basketball players, you got told to drop and give them 20 because everyone else does.
	You're at a military school.
	It sucks.
	Fucking, what's his name?
	Killed himself.
	Remember that guy?
	I want to say Forrest Gump.
	Remember the movie?
	A little more context?
	He gets bullied too much in boot camp and he can't take it anymore.
	Oh, was it?
	Blows his head off.
	Oh, full metal jacket.
	Full metal jacket.
	Private pile.
	Pile, yeah.
	Yep.
	You are one lazy piece of shit, fat body.
	I wonder how much fairness isn't attributed to racism.
	Because it really seems like it all comes back to it.
	Well, I wouldn't have been this bad if it wasn't for this, and they hadn't made a lot of money.
	I grew up with black guys.
	They would get so much extra pussy just from being.
	Derek Beckles was never not getting laid.
	Well, he's hot.
	He's a four?
	Maybe less.
	The only thing that's not a four about him is his forehead, which is an eight head.
	And we were best friends for probably 20 years.
	And he was never not without a spare and a pair.
	Always white.
	Always white.
	But yeah, everyone's racist.
	And one time we were tree planting in northern Ontario, and some guy yelled out, hey, Nagger, and mooned him.
	Which, yes, that is an example of racism.
	That's him second from the left, from the right.
	That was a terrible thing, yes.
	But goddamn, did he milk that?
	Dude, he looks like a black Dick Masterson.
	That's really weird.
	Man's man guy?
	Yeah, the super alpha cool.
	Derek's not mulatto, by the way.
	His mom was Spanish.
	Hispanic.
	And a nut bar.
	Yeah, he looks a little maybe Dominican?
	Yeah, I think his mom was Dominican and his dad was Jamaican.
	Oh, shit.
	Look at that guy.
	That guy has never not been laid.
	When we were in Glasgow, he was in the Beatles.
	Like, we had to run.
	He was going to get fucked to death.
	We're going to suck his dick off.
	Off its hinges.
	Come here, you.
	That's probably racist, too.
	They're trying to kill me.
	Anyway, let's get to the mailbag.
	I thought that was a good segue.
	Okay.
	Hey, gays.
	Since Trump was banned, I've realized there's a problem with some of our more normy, right-leaning brothers.
	These Republicans are usually college-educated, upper-middle-class, and work with around liberals.
	They don't see a problem with private companies banning individuals.
	I believe it is because they view all issues inside a classroom.
	Yes, that's a good point, sir.
	Yes, in a truly free market, private companies can ban or serve whether they want.
	As you know, we are not in a truly free market.
	The argument with these people always goes back to, well, just start your own business.
	Nothing is stopping you.
	Yeah, there are many forces in the way of us starting large companies.
	The example I use is go start your own airline or an FM radio station.
	Go start your own bank.
	You can't because of regulation and government overreach.
	But, sir, John Matze did.
	He started his own Twitter.
	And what did they do?
	They shut it down.
	Because when they said go start your own thing, they were lying.
	They didn't want us to start our own thing.
	Since there is regulation, we should be pro-regulation that protects individuals from these massive companies.
	I suggest a digital bill of rights.
	Sure.
	But like, how are you going to, I mean, Laura Loomer ran for office.
	She didn't get in.
	No one's getting in.
	It goes back to what I was saying about that storming of the Capitol.
	Okay, what's like week two like?
	We saw what happened to Chaz and Chop.
	Did they start their own little commune?
	Remember they were growing lettuce?
	They had a little growing area that was this big.
	Can I eat your entire farm and still be hungry?
	Yes, I can, because it's one salad.
	Hi, mayor and vice president of the fag zone.
	I'm Irish and shit has gotten bad over here.
	Yeah, that's what I keep hearing.
	Two separate people have been sent to prison for violating lockdown rules by being more than five kilometers from their homes.
	Well, prison is more than a year, sir.
	Jail is a year.
	I never thought it would get this bad because of our constitution.
	We had to vote to change gay marriage and abortion laws, but they can apparently just send you to prison for going too far from your house without a quote-unquote reasonable excuse?
	Fucking hell.
	I want to ride on your ding-dong.
	Ew.
	Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
	That'd be funny if I showed up at his house in Dublin?
	Hi.
	Well, oh, top of the morning.
	Damn fucking, how'd you do?
	And I turned the other beak.
	You said you want to ride on my ding-dong?
	What?
	I'm ready.
	And then I pull down my pants and I have a boner.
	That'd be cool.
	You'd be like, oh, cool.
	I fucking misunderstood you.
	Can you give me 15 minutes, tarti tree minutes?
	Let me just have a bowl of lucky charms.
	They're magically delicious.
	Good morning.
	Hello, Gavin and Ryga.
	I've seen past episodes of an Excel list of books you recommend.
	I was wondering if you could send that list over.
	Yeah, I kind of lost interest in that.
	Surely you watch the show.
	If you want a starting list, first book to read is Charles Murray, The Carmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead.
	Second book to read is Pap Buchanan and the Death of the West.
	Third book to read is Michelle Malkin, Who Built That.
	Fourth book to read is Glenn Beck of Miracles and Massacres.
	Fifth book to read is Lauren Hillebrand Unbroken.
	Sixth book to read.
	With Ann Coulter, it's tough.
	I'll always just say the most recent Ann Coulter.
	Sorry to make you six.
	Ann.
	We're giving someone a base.
	I don't want to get them too woke too fast.
	Based.
	Hey guys, the comments for this book are hilarious.
	My Auntie for Lover.
	Oh my God.
	A Riot of the Heart.
	Jessica Stranger.
	This just came in now.
	Oh, okay.
	Let's see the comments.
	My wife's boyfriend recommended this to me.
	I read it over the span of a few nights while they hung out and ate vegan pizza.
	It honestly wasn't very good and doesn't express the superiority of bowls in an open relationship.
	Our heroine falls for a boy at an anarchist-communist event.
	Through his mask, she sees a passion hotter than the fire raging.
	Imagine her disappointment when they go to his house to consummate the passion and she discovers he's ingested so much soy product that his nails are longer than hers.
	Except one he broke at the event when he tried to pick up a brick to throw, but the brick was too heavy.
	They are painted a better shade of red than hers as well.
	Once he removed his dark glasses, she saw he did his eyebrows and eyeshadow better than her.
	Her passionate spark was a raging jealousy.
	I was interested in a good romance novel, but this quickly turned into something weird.
	I'm not sure what pegging means, but when the male Antifa lover kept asking for it, I knew something was off.
	Ah, fun stuff.
	So you can look that up.
	Holy shit, have you seen this?
	Rosie O'Donnell playing a person with Down syndrome.
	Of course I had.
	And speaking of Derek Beckles, he introduced it to me when it came out in the 90s, I believe.
	If you take a drink down, you pass it around.
	Then there's lust drinks in the wall.
	I think that movie.
	This inspired Justin Thoreau's quote about going full retard in the movie Tropic Thunder.
	I'm not joking.
	I don't think black cars are good.
	I like...
	I like blue cars or green cars like Rick.
	Who's Rick?
	He's a bus driver.
	You met him at the funeral.
	I don't remember.
	Have you been waiting long?
	Two hours.
	Why didn't you wait inside?
	Because you couldn't see me in there.
	I have your address.
	Honestly, Beth, you know, you just made me.
	Where are you a fucking retard?
	Anyway, that's ancient Chinese secret, and you just saw it because you looked at Reddit Cringe.
	It's from Jamie.
	All right, Gavin, son of a legend.
	I hope you get Jimmy on the show more when you call him.
	Oh, I got to call him back and make sure he knows I was kidding.
	Uh-oh.
	Scottish people are real grumpy.
	And they pride themselves on...
	I never spoke to him again.
	I've never noticed this big hole before.
	I guess I'm usually covering it.
	Oh, no, peeweez.
	He fell.
	Yeah, that's not the side I'm talking about, you fucking tard.
	I couldn't give two fucks about your dog.
	Still has me laughing.
	Make that a drop, Ryguy.
	Also, get Ryan to speak to him and tell him about something.
	His reaction to Ryan's shit would be hilarious.
	Or tell Jimmy about one of the many fuckups you get mad at Ryan for.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	What?
	I couldn't give two fucks.
	Also, get Ryan to speak to him and tell him about this something.
	Or tell Jimmy about one of the many fuck-ups you get mad at Ryan for.
	See what he has to say about it.
	Well, I know when Ryan had a major fuck up when my dad was last here, a year ago, I guess.
	And I explained it to my dad, and he was just like, fire him.
	And I got the...
	Get rid of him.
	So then Ryan comes over with a suit.
	He comes to my house wearing a suit.
	That's his way of saying, I'm sorry.
	And my dad looks at him, and my dad just goes, pathetic.
	Yeah, I got the classic.
	And I said to my dad, you think he shouldn't work anymore?
	And my dad just looks away and he just goes, pathetic.
	He couldn't even look at you.
	He was so disgusted.
	What had you done?
	I took the wrong hard drive, and that is why I took the wrong hard drive home to edit.
	And so now I, and then you wrote, you made it clear which one was which by writing fuckhead reset.
	So but what was the ramifications of you taking home the wrong zip?
	The wrong hard drive?
	I had to go retrieve it.
	I had to borrow my parents' car, go back to the city, retrieve it.
	The show was late, right?
	The show was like a day late.
	Yeah.
	No, it wasn't a day late.
	It was definitely like over an hour late.
	Daily Wire Cringe, new movie produced by the Daily Wire, is basically Die Hard if John McLean was a teenage girl.
	Okay.
	And it's called Run, Hide, Fight.
	So now we're doing the Super Chick movies?
	Hey, Shit.
	You're doing really good out there, kid.
	Besides that deer, we're going to be eating venison all summer.
	I think we need to see somebody again.
	By what you mean, me?
	No, I mean, that look in your eye.
	Guys in my unit had that look.
	Maybe there's a brochure you can hear me so I can go.
	Is that Chris Jellic over there?
	Is he doing something completely weird?
	Senior prank day.
	But we'll see all kinds of dumb stuff today.
	Swim captain will have Thai food delivered to class, and Becky Vaughn will set up her homemade slip and slide.
	This is high school.
	Doesn't seem so bad.
	Everything that happens here matters in the real world.
	Okay, we are in charge now, so please pull out whichever app you use to do live streaming video.
	Get them up and running and point it at me.
	Now!
	Get down on the ground!
	Any more friends back there?
	Sorry, but this looks kind of cool.
	I'm calling 911.
	Get back to your homeroom and stay put and kill the run, hide.
	What's the other word?
	Shoot.
	You must be close.
	You should be as shit.
	Very disturbing news out of Vernon Central High School.
	Zoe.
	In between breath.
	Thank you, Shaw.
	Wait, just telling kids to go back into the school?
	Is it safe to say that this equals safety?
	Do you want more people to die?
	That's the last thing I want.
	I'm going to kill one person in this room every five minutes if you don't show your face.
	Dear daughters of the world, don't go back into the school when there's an active shooter.
	Isn't it awesome that after all your hard work, people aren't going to remember you?
	I'm definitely watching that.
	They're going to remember me.
	The CNN is FNN.
	Fake news now.
	I'm 28.
	I'd like an episode on how to dress both casually and professionally.
	I've been in the Navy for 10 years, and I'm about to get work.
	I'm married with three kids and mostly dress like a lazy, preppy kid outside of work.
	That's a good look.
	Just avoid toes.
	I wore a pair of high-top black chucks in elementary school and got made fun of wearing clown shoes.
	I've never worn a pair since.
	I know you swear by chucks.
	I do swear by chucks, sir.
	But after 25 years old, you can only wear white.
	Can never wear black chucks or any color ever again.
	You can also wear Vans eras, the original ones.
	Desert boots.
	J. Crew wingtips for suits.
	I know they're expensive, but they last forever.
	Can't have a band on your shirt.
	This is all well discussed in my hip novel, Street Boners, where I break down all the basic rules from facial hair and everything.
	So, uh, there's lots of hot chicks in it, too.
	Yeah.
	Um, the shoes make the man, so it starts with the shoes.
	Uh, wallabies work sometimes, red wings in the winter, and build up from there.
	Make sure your jeans aren't too baggy.
	And then, you know, Brooks Brothers shirts.
	I like that classic white tee jeans thing.
	Or like Ralph Lorentz and him wearing casual stuff is pretty cool, too.
	Don't, don't, Ryan, no one's asking you about fashion.
	You're goth.
	Remember you're gonna be goth?
	Yeah.
	What happened with that?
	It's too expensive.
	Like, all of these goth that, like, they try to look like they're an outsider and they're, like, they're struggling with stuff, but they're buying really expensive clothes.
	So they're, like, kind of preppy in a way.
	They're rich kids.
	Well, maybe we could do a segment on that.
	Anyway, I'd appreciate a segment detailing fashion, especially on a budget, military budget.
	I'm honored to talk to such a seasoned war movie veteran in the submarine force.
	Everyone is a fag.
	You would love it, especially your man-baby producer.
	Anything about shirts with sayings on them?
	No.
	It depends on the age.
	Like, you're just running out of time.
	I hate that stuff.
	It's very, like, boardwalk.
	But you can have...
	If you're a Mets fan, you can wear Mets shirts.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	You can have sports teams on your shirt.
	Did you notice a lot of the hip-hop black community wear shirts that say like, it's time to get it.
	Or whatever, like, this guy's shirt.
	It is what it is.
	Well, that's the problem with the black community.
	It's dressing like you're six years old.
	It's crazy.
	It's always a saying.
	Like, adults wearing like a tracksuit that matches.
	I mean, Italians do that too.
	But both Italians and black people are similar.
	Need to update their plug-in wardrobes.
	Okay, that's it, folks.
	It's time to wrap it up for the week with the final video.
	This is Robert and Tanya.
	Tanya was a childhood star, child star, pop star in the 80s when she was like 14, 15.
	She's in her 60s now, and she looks great.
	And still, here she is covering Metallica.
	Toya, sorry, Toya.
	So it's coming up here.
	It's going to be a version of the company.
	the memory from ship to the seven clothes.
	She was one I owe you in your time.
	Let's say light inside.
	Take my hand and walk together.
	See with one I hope you feel long.
	Excellent light and time.
	Shake my hands and I'll come to them.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave.
	Don't let the world get away from you.
	Don't ever want to get in on you.

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