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Jan. 7, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:27:39
S03E57 - THE HISTORY OF RAP
| Copy link to current segment

Time Text
That was an OG original rap track from one of the top rappers in the world, a guy named Dee Dee Ramone, who put out that album.
It's hard to believe that he was addicted to heroin when he put out that quality of music.
I guess heroin makes you a good musician, though, doesn't it?
Like Jennifer Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse.
So maybe it is magic.
Because I don't think he's that talented.
The lighting's going to be weird here because of my white shirt and then my hat is shading my head.
Can you fix that?
Let's see if we can like pop.
I don't mind if this is blown out as long as you get to see this gorgeous visage.
And by the way, we got a lot of rap and music talk and pop culture, but I got very distracted because right before we started shooting, I see an article in Slate that talks about how I'm in DC.
Now, you know how we feel about DC.
It's a trap.
Something was fucked up.
We smelled a rat from day one.
We said they're talking about giving the left conceal carry.
This isn't a normal rally.
Million MAGA March was awesome.
But this is a trap.
What are you, a pussy?
You don't stand up for America?
No, I stand up for America.
I went to the Million Mega March, I think.
I went to one of them.
But I don't walk into traps.
That's not strategic.
And I'm sorry I'm jumping ahead here there, Rygai, but go to 28C.
It's the first link in Capital, which is one of the last subjects.
And what did we say to Noble Beard?
We said, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
They're giving out concealed carry to left wingers.
They're bussing in Antifa.
If Proud Boys go, it's going to be a fucking shit show that will result in tons of fodder for the left and a dead body.
And what happened?
We got a dead body.
I predicted it.
This is not a matter of being a pussy.
This is a matter of being smart.
And Proud Boys smelled a rat, too.
And they said, no, we're hanging back.
We're going to stand back and stand by.
Stand by.
Who do you think they're going to give them to?
Exactly.
Not the right-wing Trump supporters.
Remember, this took December 22nd.
Well, I hope there's no bloodshed on January 6th.
There was bloodshed, Gavin.
Well, we are officially not going.
Good.
After this last showing, we are officially not going.
Rika went.
We have to take some time.
We have to regroup.
We love to support Trump.
We love to support the country.
We love to support the normies.
However, January 6th, with everything that's going on, we need to take a step back.
We need to reorganize.
We need to figure out the best strategy.
So, yeah, so we're off the table for 2020.
It's one thing when people want you dead, right?
Like, people want gangsters dead all the time.
But in this case, you also have the politicians and the justice system and the media also wanting you dead.
So when you get stabbed, it becomes four people were stabbed at a Proud Boys thing.
And when you stop a man from being killed, it's preferential treatment from the police.
And then they actually catch the perp and he's gone with a misdemeanor.
I mean, all of those factors together is a perfect storm for murder.
Yep.
Told you so.
They were so mad I didn't, I called Charlottesville and didn't want to go.
And I got asked to do a talk at this January 6th thing.
I go, are you out of your fucking mind?
Do you have the right phone number here?
No.
No, I don't want to do that.
But then I'm reading this article in Slate a friend sent me.
I would never normally read Slate.
28B.
And it says, at one point, I'm pretty sure I saw Gavin McInnis, the Proud Boys founder, strolling around inside in military gear.
Others seemed to notice too.
I heard murmurs of, hey, it's Gavin.
Not long after, a Boogaloo boy, who wouldn't give me his name, shouted at me about currency and the Federal Reserve.
Like, what a snarky tone.
That guy is a fucking amateur.
They've since updated it because I got legal.
But as I was getting legal, I mean, I did a live show yesterday.
I guess I went there and then just got into a fucking leer jet and went back to New York.
But as it's going back and forth, they go, well, we have a photo of you there.
And I go, hmm, that's not possible.
Maybe you have a photo of me there from a month ago.
And then they present me with the evidence.
Check this out.
You see, you're lying.
And I go, thanks a lot.
That guy's 70 years old.
So then I had to send them a picture of me posing like that so they could compare the ears.
Can we do that comparison?
Sure.
Let's look at our ears.
Not that I see a difference.
Oh, yeah, you sent it to me and then I didn't.
Did you email me that?
No, I guess I texted it to you.
I got us.
What the fuck?
See, this is what journalism is today.
It's not, here's what I saw, here's what's going on.
This is Board.
It's the snarky comment about shouted at me about currency, which is not true.
And Boogaloo Boys, did you see one Hawaiian shirt that whole night?
I did not.
I did not.
So that's just made-up shit.
I saw a Daily Mail thing where they said, three proud boys show the white supremacist symbol.
One of them was fucking half black.
And they were just three guys in orange, fluorescent orange hats.
What?
Where do you get this from?
So I have to send this to prove I wasn't somewhere where I had adamantly been against.
And again, I see the appeal of January 7th in retrospect.
I think it was like the end of Animal House.
If I was in the Delta fraternity, I'd go, fuck, guys, that was really bad.
We're going to go to jail.
I mean, they did storm.
The Deathmobile did storm at those people sitting in the stands.
Remember?
The mayor's wife went flying through the air?
So it's not good for Delta House, but I get that you want it to go out in a blaze of glory.
Say, fuck you.
But guys, the fucking backlash.
I mean, not backlash, the legal ramifications of what you've done.
Like Buffalo Wings here, Mr. Horns.
I think he's looking at 10 to 15 years.
Everybody's sharing that meme where, not meme, but Trump said mandatory 10 years for anybody who obstructs federal property and stuff like that.
Remember that?
Of course Antifa gets fuck all.
Anyway, we can talk about the Capitol shit later.
I feel like we've kind of done it.
We might as well just stay here when we're at it, right?
My buddy texted me today.
He's watching over his son's shoulder, and he's in his science class.
And the teacher in Zoom begins the class by crying.
Science?
And then she wants all the students to, one by one, talk about what they're feeling right now.
Bitch, no 12-year-old gives a fuck about the Capitol or politics in general.
They kind of know who Trump is.
If they're into sports, they probably think he's cool.
If they're in the drama club, they probably think he sucks.
That's about it.
What's that drawing you keep showing?
You ever see this?
I don't want to lose it because it's so awesome.
But we've never brought it up on the show before.
And this was like lost in the old mailbag.
Oh, and it's a VHS tape?
Yeah.
That's pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
That guy's really good at cross-hatching.
I've been kind of obsessed with cross-hatching since I started following Robert Crumb on Twitter.
Yeah, the arm?
You know, it's got that old dollar bill type of hatching.
I can't really see the hatching, though, because you need 600 DPI for cartoon art.
Am I crying?
Oh, I'm watching war movies.
I'm a war movie vet.
I feel like that.
That's cool.
That's amazing.
Wow, that's awesome.
I like that as a shirt.
Same.
We'll have to get a higher res.
We'll probably never find it, though.
Do you know the source?
I could find it.
I sure get excited when we're talking about me.
My other capital thing was this interesting tweet.
Again, it's all about the hypocrisy, right?
DC was on fire in May.
No one cared.
But now the sanctity of the Capitol building, you know, if it was Antifa, they would be talking about how it's just a building.
It's just property.
They didn't do anything.
And then, of course, that woman, imagine she was black, the girl who got shot?
They killed a black war vet.
And they'd have all the pictures of her serving her country.
This is my city, D.C., on fire last May.
I didn't receive a single text message on that night.
But this afternoon, my inbox was flooded with concerned messages from friends and family.
We supposedly don't believe the media anymore, yet it still manages to shape our perceptions.
Crying teachers.
Yeah, if this was anti- Well, it's weird talking to, we're so separate, especially when it comes to race, that when you talk to like black people and liberals about this, their takeaway is the whole thing was white privilege.
There's a dead body lying there, but it's white privilege.
Look at this guy.
This guy even uses the word crackers and he makes a black woman cry in solidarity with him.
No, I'm not exaggerating.
This is a city that...
Fucking treasonous pieces of shit!
What?
Wait.
Fucking backers.
Take over the money.
These fucking whackers.
It makes me kill you.
She's crying at how privileged the white people were yesterday.
That's an interesting take.
Did you catch the end of that?
No.
If this was Black Lives Matter, we wouldn't be able to do any of this.
What?
Oh, we couldn't even do none of this.
Like, what?
Drive?
We can't even burn shit.
Joy Reid has the same take.
This is just asinine.
Like, can we agree anymore?
Is it possible for me and Joy Reed to find common ground?
If we were locked in a cell for three days with pizza and a latrine, maybe a little exercise bike.
Maybe you get the pizza and latrine.
They got me over here with a box in a cracker with a cracker.
If they were to put us in a cell like that, I would be hanging from my neck and you would be eating diamond pies.
Wearing gold pants.
Wearing silk.
Diamond pieces.
You wouldn't be able to bend your knees because your legs would just be straight gold.
You would just walk around like Gumby with your gold legs.
With your stop motion animation walk.
Unafraid of the cops who were sparsely distributed through our capital, which hasn't been breached since 1812.
Pause.
When it was burned.
What about the weathermen who, I think it was 1974, planted a bomb there that blew up and caused $300,000 worth of damage?
The weathermen, who then got out Bill Ayers and became, I think he's a professor now.
He's Obama's best pal.
The Black Panthers also stormed the Capitol around the same time.
So, yeah.
And by the way, it was called the War of 1812, but the White House was attacked two years into the war in 1814, my dear.
You clearly just Wikipedia this before and are not familiar with said war, which was really Canada, by the way.
Okay, let's get back to her.
The reason they could easily And casually with their cameras on, film themselves throwing things through the walls of our Capitol, our property, going inside the Capitol, sitting in Speaker Pelosi's office, casually take pictures of themselves, have that played on Fox News.
They know that they are not in jeopardy because the cops are taking selfies with them, walking them down the steps to make sure they're not hurt, taking care with their bodies, not like they treated Freddie Gray's body.
White Americans aren't afraid of the cops.
White Americans are never afraid of the cops, even when they're committing insurrection.
Here's the problem, though, lady.
You know that if BLM and Tifa were doing that, the Capitol, like it had a few windows broken, right?
The Capitol would be gone.
It would be ash.
And there'd be a lot more than one person dead.
You know where I got that crazy theory?
From the previous 10 months of rioting.
I promise you.
Remember, my predictions are working these days.
I promise you, you're not going to see another MAGA meltdown like you just saw.
That was the end.
That was the Deathmobile.
They're gone.
They have left the building.
There's no Boogaloo coming.
There's nothing else.
Anyway, go back to Joy.
Even when they're engaged in attempting to occupy our Capitol to steal the votes of people who look like me, because in their mind, they own this country.
They own that capital.
They own the cops.
They steal black votes.
And people like me have no damn right to try to elect a president because we don't get to pick the president.
They get to pick the president.
They own the president.
They own the White House.
They own this country.
Wait, when you think you.
First of all, blacks are 40% of the population.
Secondly, they came out in unprecedented numbers for Trump.
There was more blacks pro-Trump this year than the last election.
So what are you talking about?
You own the place?
You ain't afraid of the police because the police are you.
And the police reflect back to them.
We're with you.
You're good.
We're not going to hurt you because you're not them.
I guarantee you if that was a black line.
She is right, though.
It was weird how groovy the cops were being.
And that mysterious barrier that opened up.
Now, some people are saying that Trump did that because he wanted revenge.
And others are saying the left did that to make Trump supporters look bad.
That seems close enough.
I don't think we have to worry about look bad or look good anymore.
It's irreconcilable differences.
You know, when that happened is when they were starting to have that debate about the validity of the Arizona election.
They were supposed to have a two-hour debate.
They knew is that thing stank from day one.
All right, let her finish.
This is weird because we're getting right into the meat for the first course.
Lives Matter protest in D.C., there would already be people shackled, arrested, or dead.
Shackled, arrested, en masse, or dead.
There's four dead.
Three heart attacks.
One woman shot in the neck.
And there's going to be some arrests, my dear.
Some brutal arrests.
Like those clowns, that guy who was sitting like that in Pelosi's desk, he's not getting away with that.
Or the guy with the podium?
I thought it was funny to see.
But I'm also going, if I was your brother, I would run to the bathroom and have explosive diarrhea, worried about the next, is that worth 15 years?
And it's not Trump that's going to be doing it.
Trump's gone.
It's going to be Biden.
And he'll want to make an example of them all.
I'm scared about that guy that looks just like baked Alaska that was LARPing as Baked Alaska.
It looks just like him.
It sure do.
But I'm like, I want to text him and be like, dude, you got to make sure you're not conflated with that.
Nick Fuentes wasn't the one in that picture, by the way.
He was like, I was outside wearing something else.
And he was.
Why'd you go?
We already had the perfect rally.
Antifa acted like complete hyenas.
Nailed it.
Proudboys beat them up.
Prowboys went to bed.
Everything was cool.
They showed their true colors.
Gotta keep it going.
Keep having the rallies.
What's 3-2?
Is that this?
Oh, yeah, this...
Stop.
Stop.
You might not want to watch this.
This is a new angle that women getting shot.
Yeah.
There's a black guy, yeah.
Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
Is that an original melody you just made?
I just made that up.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
Can you guys at home make a thing with that?
We'll make it a drop.
We'd use it a lot.
A lot.
Yeah.
Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
And then here's a weird video of some guy acting like a fucking weirdo, man.
3-3.
I'm not a problem.
He's got a knife out and he doesn't have a knife out.
This is what I thought this thing would be.
This is not brave or not brave.
It's just stupid.
Run.
And then don't run.
And then I'm Santa.
He's like Santa Bane.
He got flares.
He takes his knife out, paints it close.
And then he puts it back.
And he can't find the thing in the jiggy.
The sheath.
And he decides, no, I'm keeping it out.
And then they're running.
And then I'm not running.
Now I'm spraying.
Everyone's filming this for their Facebook or their whatever.
So much of this is selfie oriented, too.
Like they say, those brave patriots stormed the Capitol.
Yeah, they seem to be really into making sure they got a selfie of said storming.
Oh, there was a black block there.
And then the takeaway from the poster, this is this thug thing I follow.
Welcome to Amerika Kakaka.
How is that?
How is that America?
Yeah.
Okay, so let's go back to the beginning of the show now.
Sorry, that was some heavy shit.
It was just on my mind.
And I knew I wouldn't be able to relax and chill if I hadn't got that off my mind.
So now we're starting the show again.
Ready?
It's De D De Ramon rocking out, rapping.
Capital Invasion on the front cover of the New York Post.
We're not going to talk about that though.
We covered it yesterday.
And we're a fun rock and roll show that is for the kids.
Fellow kids like you and me.
Kim and Kanye.
We didn't get to discuss this yesterday because of the shit.
So here's the rumor, guys.
He was, was he butt-fucking Jeffree Star or was Jeffree Star butt-fucking him?
I don't know what the genital situation like about.
Amber Rose claims that Kanye likes a finger in his butthole when he's having intercourse.
I don't know if that's what she meant, but she called him a finger-in-the-booty ass bitch.
So I don't know what that means.
Well, you don't, women don't usually call a guy a bitch if he puts a finger in the lady's butthole.
Right.
She would probably call him a pig, a perv, like in How to Get a Head in Advertising, where the woman says, because he becomes possessed, and she goes, he's become so perverted.
Yesterday he said, he wished I had nipples on my ass.
That's pretty cool.
But I sent you a barstool sports thing.
So this is the rumor.
Jeffree Star, you know who he is?
He's the devil, basically.
He's a weird makeup homo androgynous thing that does makeup tutorials and is probably worth hundreds of millions of dollars because young girls love him and the other guy.
Yeah, this article says, here's how the bizarre theory that Kanye Westgi with Jeffree Star got started.
And they show one woman saying, I know for a fact that Jeffree Star and Kanye were fucking.
And you're like, that's not proof that it's not true.
And I know of other girls who have said Jeffree Star fucked with like the biggest rapper on earth.
I can't say his name.
I heard they're all homos.
All top rappers are gays.
Low-key gay.
Yeah, they probably bang like all the women and they're like, I'm bored.
I need a dick.
Yeah, I know if I had fucked more than 100 girls, of course, what's the next step?
My number's 12.
You just play the Rolling Stones, oh, fuck.
And Led Zeppelin are always like boning dudes.
Well, a lot of the, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, my theory is that there's a lot of repression there.
You know how Japanese people act when they finally get a woman, they put tentacles in her and stuff because they're sexually repressed?
Well, homosexuality in, you know, like Africa, Jamaica, they hate.
You can say the black community in America.
They hate gays.
They're really against gays, but then it's the most trannies ever are blacks.
So a lot of them be on the down low.
Yeah, but you haven't explained why.
Because maybe the repression or maybe it's a masculine thing to break.
Yeah, yeah, but that doesn't explain why all these rappers are boning dudes.
There's not a bunch of drummers boning dudes.
Why is this one area so gay?
I don't know, but it is.
Like Lil Wayne, too.
Kind of gay.
I sent you a barstool sports thing on it.
Fingers in his ass.
What was that?
Something about fingers in the ass.
No, no, not in the notes.
I wouldn't say I sent you something if it was already in the notes.
I would tell you the number of it.
I just sent it like a second ago.
Oh, I didn't get it yet.
Well, that doesn't make sense.
Not a second ago.
You sure you're looking at Gavin at censored.tv?
I know.
Did you ever watch Jeffree Star?
I've seen some Jeffree Star things, yeah.
Yeah.
I was privy.
You were into Jeffree Star.
That's not the same thing as what I'm saying.
I'm saying that I was aware of him because he was like a meme.
And he's like a James Charles type.
Let's cleanse our palette with what is possibly the greatest graphic novel of all time?
What a.
Oh, there it is.
So you did get it?
No, it was.
I don't know how you sent it to me, but it's not.
Oh, shit.
I'm showing the screen.
It's definitely not in my emails, but.
Well, how did I get it?
Maybe I clicked on it on my own.
All right, we'll click on it.
All right.
You know, this is why I suck at guitar.
Because I'm not a precise person.
You're not a precise person.
Guitar is a precise thing.
I'm not precise.
I'm sloppy.
Me too.
Wes is fucking Jeffree Star.
Let me break it down for you.
The power of TikTok was on display for the entire year of 2020, showing just how quickly it can make someone famous, just how quickly it can make someone rich.
But in this latest controversy, we've seen the power of TikTok and how quickly a rumor can spread, headlines can fly, and next thing you know, Kanye West is fucking Jeffree Star.
Let me break it down for you here.
There's probably a lot of names you're not going to know.
Imagine how sweaty you'd be if you were Kanye West right now and you were fucking Jeffree Star.
And you would just see that and just go, oh, fuck.
And I can't text him or her because now that's evidence.
But I want to fucking...
I said, shut your mouth.
Right.
All right, I'm fucked.
I'm fucked.
I'm fucked.
Actually, as soon as Kim Kardashian dumped you for it, you must go, I am fucked.
There's no way she's going to keep it.
I wonder if he cried.
Yeah, he cries often.
Yeah, he probably cried and said, don't tell nobody.
Jeffree Star's probably going out and about, like, in public eating places, and people ask, and he's just like, I don't know.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Making that face?
Okay, I don't care.
This is just him saying what I just said.
That guy sucks, by the way.
He's super liberal and retarded.
Oh.
He's got terrible takes.
So I know you hate graphic novels, but I love them.
And we had Fonte Bukowski yesterday, which won a bunch of awards.
I've been looking.
I just went to the bookstore and I bought all the ones that had won awards.
And this is done up like a little sketchbook thing.
It's even got the doohickey on the back.
And it's autobiographical, adult comics, which I love.
I don't mean, there's not sex in it, but it's just about his neuroses and him.
Can you look up this shit?
What is it?
I'm waiting for a name.
Adrian Tomine.
Oh.
The loneliness of the long-distance cartoonist.
And I remember in the early 90s when he came out, and everyone was shitting on him for some reason.
He mimicked Dan Klowes a lot, and it was the cool thing to do to shit on Adrian Tomine.
I did it.
And he was way better than me, obviously.
I don't know why we did that.
Maybe because we could.
He's kind of a meek, half-Japanese guy, like some people I know.
And he would take it, I guess.
But this is all about his neuroses and his horrible life, and the things that he considers problems are amazing because they're not.
But the fucking quality of the crosshatching and the drawing is just exquisite.
Like, I could just stare at one panel for an hour.
And he's a really, really good storyteller, too.
So you're reading, just sort of like the other book where you're reading about this loser.
Here, you're reading about a really neurotic, fucked up guy who blows up every minor problem in his life.
He did that New Yorker cover.
Oh, the one with the chick sitting there with all the pill bottles.
He sells prints on his site if you want it, which I think you should get whether you're pro-pandemic or not.
It's the same with the Proud Boy art.
If I was a liberal, I'd want one of those Proud Boy pieces.
I don't know if you ever said this, but is it good to like mimic drawings, like try to trace over that?
Would that help you as an artist?
Yes.
I think that's a good way to train.
You put tracing paper on top and you just rip someone off.
You don't publish it, but that starts giving you a vocabulary.
So the next time it's time to draw a shoe, your mechanical memory will help you with the shoe.
He did a comic called Shortcomings about how he got dumped for having a small dick.
Oh, no.
And the side of the comic is a ruler.
Yikes.
I thought that was pretty badass.
Like, that's brave.
Anywho, because it's the rap show, I almost, I didn't get to do my number one choice for the opening song, which was, of course, Fatal Urge Carefree Kiss.
He's an Australian seek, and he makes me seek.
And he's invented a new type of music.
I hate that fucking font.
Courier.
I'm so sick of it.
Or copperplate, whatever.
Yeah, copper plate.
Courier is the typewriter one.
Who's that, dude?
What is this?
I don't know.
I was literally thinking of it.
It's like electronic mouse music instead of dance music.
Even the way he dresses is so weird with his combat boots.
Act two.
So it's sort of like R. Kelly.
Oh my god, he spent so much fucking money on this.
I wonder if he's divorced.
It's like, it's a new thing.
Like, what is this?
What am I looking at?
I wonder what the behind-the-scenes look.
I feel like he was a tyrant, like a total creative monster.
Like, no, this is all wrong.
Well, you're Detective Shitty, so it must be the opposite.
Where he was just like, I was so happy to collaborate with the After Effects guys and the house they rented for the video.
His story.
And make a perfect boyfriend.
And it keeps going.
Wait, what was that David Harris Labs?
Is he created in a lab as the perfect boyfriend?
Stop.
Wait, what?
Cancer?
Stage 4 cancer.
PET scan?
Oh, he's got cancer.
He's dying.
Recommendations: PET Scan.
Okay.
PET scan, I believe.
Oh, okay.
So he's not a mouse.
He's dying.
Or maybe she's dying?
What is going on with his little boots?
Okay, that's enough.
I see a pattern in their relationship.
She's sitting down, minding her business.
He comes in, like, what the fuck?
I don't think she walks away.
It's not the cancer.
You guys aren't meant to be.
What's 13?
I went to his website.
It's really cool.
It's got a lot of variety.
You can tell he threw a good like 50.
Well, that video was probably 100 grand.
And he seems to have thrown a good another 100 in just his various fatal urge careless kiss.
He got news there.
What's in the news?
Let's see.
What if the news was really interesting and accurate?
Misgivings about the storming of the Capitol building on Wednesday.
News centered.
Get your fill of urge-free, care-free.
It's releases.
Okay, let's go to his last thing.
His Instagram is really cool.
His politics.
Politics.
What?
A blueprint for the one borderless world.
The recognition of the evolution of democracy and equal opportunity for everyone begins here at this page, buddy.
He's a globalist.
Okay, let's just do the, just to have a brief, I'm sorry to indulge myself.
But after all that content yesterday and the beginning of today, I need fluff, dude.
I need some cotton candy.
He's ripped.
He's fucking ripped.
It's hard to be cute with a turban on.
Look at that.
But he does pull it off.
I guess if you're sick, you're not allowed to cut your hair or your beard.
Look, he has so many pictures of him in various outfits with that same exploding background.
What is he?
I guess he's just a simpleton who came into some money.
And a perfect boyfriend.
Okay, also, speaking of the news, rock and roll news, do you know who Ariel Pink is?
I do.
I just recently found out who he is.
Lo-fi, indie rock kind of guy.
I forget what they call it now.
It's like some sort of dancey stuff recorded on like kids' toys.
Here, 17.
Very, very popular dude In the hipster, pitchfork, cool community.
In other words, the least tolerable people on earth.
So jump into the middle.
I know it sounds like shit to you.
I'm hearing it through your ears.
He did a really good Conan performance.
Oh, yeah?
I'm just finding out about...
When did he pop up?
Is he like a newer guy?
Oh, he's there on Phillips.
That Josh Lacache friend of ours interviewed him before he was popping up.
Before people knew he was MAGA.
Everybody's just finding out that.
He just ruined the surprise.
So the other guy, the other indie god is John Mouse.
Very similar type of lo-fi beta dudes.
This is...
Turn it up.
Now, I understand that you don't care, but teenage girls love this shit, and teenage girls drive the fucking economy, which is why Kylie Jenner is a billionaire.
So don't poo-poo what little girls like.
That's what happened to Vice after I left.
They went, all right, where's the money?
Young girls.
Okay, what do they believe?
A bunch of gender bullshit.
All right, we're on it.
Tom Mouse is awesome.
So both these guys are very popular.
Everything's going great.
And they are also fucking naive.
And they don't realize they live in a fascist dictatorship called hipsterdom.
So they went to the rally yesterday and they got caught.
I think the woman who did that incel thing, I think she's filming them for another project or they're working with her, I believe.
And so she's just filming around and she films them.
And then I guess it appears on her Instagram.
And all fucking hell breaks loose.
Of course.
And so he starts thinking that he can get out of this by being reasonable.
How naive.
So what does he say?
Go back to the page.
I was in D.C. peacefully to peacefully show my support for the president.
I attended the rally on the White House lawn and went back to the hotel and took a nap.
Case closed.
No, my friend.
No, no, no, no, no.
You can't just not be a rioter.
You have to hate Trump.
It's like they say with racism.
You can't just be not racist.
You have to be anti-racist.
You need to be anti-Trump.
So he's fucked.
And I just got word before we started filming that his labels dropped him.
Oof.
I mean, how many bands have we had on this show that became persona non-grata?
BBQT, Dream Machine, what's his name?
Ty Richards.
And these people didn't come out saying race and IQ and the Holocaust and blah, blah, blah.
It was just like, I don't hate Trump.
Or in Dream Machine's case, I don't know, maybe if they're here illegally.
I mean, I had to work really hard to get my visa.
Yeah, John Mouse did music for a Million Dollar Extreme.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's called Cop Killer.
It's pretty intense.
Well, they are called Million Dollar Extreme.
Yeah.
I think Derek Beckels was a big part of this whole culture.
That weird editing and over-the-top shit that Tim and Eric ripped off.
That's boring.
Without the video.
Last story in our fluffy music section.
The weekend fucked up his face.
1-9.
I get all my news from Within Nigeria, where they spell his name wrong.
So he's looking pretty good.
Later, apparently he eats the poo-poo.
And then he's got a video out where he's got his new face.
Right?
Now, the weekend, like, he's had some hits, but a lot of it is kind of mundane 80s pop music, dance music.
And it's hard to draw attention to that.
It's elevator music, really.
So there's a storyline between, you know, within all of his music videos now, I guess, right?
Yeah.
So 20, he showed up to that award ceremony, right?
All bandaged up.
And the story we got was, well, in my video before this, I was a drunk driver and I was talking about how you want to be with your girl so bad that you drive drunk.
And then you realize, uh-oh, I'm promoting drunk driving.
So I'm going to show up to the awards show covered in bandages to show that drunk driving is actually dangerous.
Like the longest PSA ever.
Right.
Basically.
But then we see him with his real face.
And again, guys, this is major parts of our economy and huge parts of our children's pop culture.
So this matters.
Politics is downstream from the culture.
This all matters.
And you can either be an innovator or be a fucking lunatic who follows all this shit and gets sucked into it and dies.
But here's the thing.
None of this is true.
It's prosthetics.
Oh, really?
Damn, that's.
No, it's brilliant.
This is like Malcolm McLaren's sex pistol stuff.
Yeah, it's theater.
It's theater.
I like it.
So it's, and this is what Enrique does with the Proud Boys.
Like, he has a rally where he goes across a bridge, plants one American flag, then goes back home.
Or when they say this is going to be huge and then they don't even show up.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's Heidi Klune.
It's all prosthetics, I guess.
That's the guy.
You know, I hate his music, but I like this whole theme.
It's interesting, right?
It's creative.
Yeah, yeah.
So I did the drunk driving, then I pretended I was bandaged up.
Now I have fake prosthetics.
Because I'm anti-drunk driving.
And now I have this fake prosthetic.
So now that goes all the way back to the drunk driving.
That's cool.
Good shit, huh?
All right.
Before we abandoned music, I think it would be important, and I would be remiss, if I were not to explain to you why we play Didi Ramon, why rap matters, and what the history of rap music really is.
Let's get down to the roots, because I could sense a lot of you were like, what the fuck?
I don't care about the weekend.
I like metal.
But what I'm going to do is show you the base backbone of what rap is, and then you'll see why you care.
I'm a lucky guy.
Got the world on a string.
Hey guys, yo, yo, yo, what's up?
I'm going to talk about the history of rap.
You understand that hip-hop isn't rap.
Hip-hop has four elements, and that's rap, DJing, graffiti, and breakdancing.
We're going to do different ones for all the four, but today we're going to focus on rap.
The first rap song ever made was by Debbie Harry, and it was called Rapture.
Get it?
It's a pun.
And she broke down the boogie down Bronx sound and talked about cars.
And after someone's done eating cars, they go to Mars.
It's really good.
It's really dope.
Maybe jump ahead a bit to where she raps.
So it's their usual disco song.
I mean, they were punk, but then they were disco, and then they now you can see where she starts to rap.
And you can tell that a lot of the modern rappers, even these like Lil Zan and Post Malone, they use some of those same elements.
I think that's Basquiat.
Passing the bath, flashing school front was a far.
Flush it on tooth and dropshot.
I mean freestyle.
So she's listing all the different cars the man from Mars was.
You could tell that she's a really good freestyle.
This, I think, was not just the first rap song, but it also denoted the invention.
This was day one of freestyling.
Second rap song ever made was a year later.
I think it took a year.
Because of the lyrics and stuff, it takes a long time to make a rap song.
This was The Clash, The Magnificent Seven.
You may recognize elements of this video from our intro because we are huge rap fans.
See, there's always this beat.
It's linked to a funk beat.
It's called On the One.
Don't, don't, doodle, doodle, don't.
One, doodle, one.
One.
Working at Vice for so long, I ended up inadvertently just sort of like gleaning all of this rap knowledge.
Please welcome that.
Because it was around.
The class.
Notice everything rhymes.
Like rock will have a whole long sentence that you have to rhyme, but with rap, it's like, this is a thing and it's a ping.
I like to sing ding-a-ling ding.
Shorter.
It's short rhymes and a funky beat.
There's our taxi.
Okay.
And then, of course, the third song, third rap song ever made was Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol.
And much, you can see now it's only been three years.
Hold on.
It's only been three years since Debbie Harry invented it, but we've got much more sophisticated rhymes now because it's not just Cars and Mars.
Now it's like read a murder books.
Well, I'll show you.
Water into wine.
Oh, they're slapping their butts.
They're not clapping.
On a psychedelic trip, reading murder books, trying to stay here.
Thinking of you, you're out there.
So.
And then he's done with the rap.
You don't want to do too much rap in a rap song.
Anyway, those are the three rap songs, and they form the core for all of the rap you hear today.
You get it?
And with that core knowledge now, you can understand Kanye fucking Jeffree Star.
You can understand The Weekend's face joke.
You can understand Ariel Pink getting canceled.
What a day yesterday was.
Like, I don't think...
Ariel Pink is done.
Ruined.
John Mouse, done.
And those guys who are going, hey-oh!
Woo!
15 years, my friend.
Was it worth it for the selfies?
Re-COVID is going to get heavy again.
I was with someone on Saturday, not sexually, much to my chagrin.
He's a very sexy guy.
And he had the Cove.
He was diagnosed with it.
So I've been quarantined in my basement.
Anyway, let's roll the intro.
Your language requires a paintbrush to write.
Your language sucks.
Your language is stupid.
Fucking Chinese.
Chinese virus comes from China.
Chinese asshole.
Just keep your hands off my dog.
Isn't it funny how the reaction from the left is trying to handle it?
Look, they're partying in Wuhan.
We fucked up really bad.
Are you mad?
It's like Peter, Pete, that guy's name of Pete Robertson?
Is that the SNL guy?
Pete Davidson.
Pete Davidson.
I can never remember his name.
He's such a fucking annoying lefty, and it's like, dude, Muslims killed your dad.
Yeah, but like, besides that, like, the Mac shouldn't be open.
You can afford to be a tiny bit Islamophobic when Muslims hurl planes into your dad.
Anyway, the good news is, I think it was yesterday I got my results back and I was negative.
Now, I haven't left the house the entire time I was quarantined.
You saw me in my house.
And here is the footage of me this morning coming out of quarantine.
All right.
This is it.
The official re-entry from the basement.
Cleared by the CDC.
I'm sweaty.
I was working out.
That happens.
Oh, it's so bright up here.
My God.
Oh, seeing trees again.
I don't even know what this little cupboard is for.
I never thought of it before.
I'm seeing things new for the first time.
My wife, whom I love, still a little scared.
She's cleared from the CDC.
No symptoms, no fever.
Kind of scared to kiss anyone.
So give you one of these.
You guys don't seem too happy to see me.
I want to thank you for doing, taking care of me.
You, the boy there, doing what you do, whatever it is, I love it.
And you, kids, I want to thank Mayor of the Fag Zone for adding family videographer to your resume.
Oh, wow.
An orchid.
No.
This is what we wear now.
Oops, careful now.
We wear these when we go outside because we're New Yorkers.
So guys, if you're out there, if you're checking any property in the Hamptons, first of all, you shouldn't if you're quarantined.
But even if you're not quarantined, if you're out there checking for looking at property, this goes on, okay?
Talk to the contractors.
If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to fuck off, right?
And then also, do a bunch of podcasts where you say you're going to quit your job in case you get fired.
But we're out now.
I'm back.
I had the CDC clear me and my family.
And I have a little bit of a boner.
So let's get after it.
What'd you think?
Brave.
Now, you may have noticed in that video that my family was not happy to see me.
They are shy.
That's what that was about.
That's a real thing.
Really?
Yeah, Chris was...
People made fun of him.
The onion, I think, made fun of him.
Oh, so he has some weird excuse that I don't give a shit about.
Fucking dork.
All right, I have some juicy gas.
I actually am not going to do this in order.
Am I?
Yeah, let's do it in order.
All right, so 2-5.
Some old cunt is harassing people for not wearing a mask on the train.
And Ashley St. Clair, runs in to save the day.
These mask fanatic women from hell started filming and harassing these men for drinking coffee on the train.
The older one said, I have 70,000 Twitter followers.
Like the men should be scared.
People have lost their damn minds.
If you're that scared, don't travel.
Stay home.
Every second of this is gold.
Hey, 70,000 Twitter followers, butts.
You have 70,000 Twitter followers?
You hear the guy?
He's like, wow.
Wow.
70,000 Twitter followers, but you have 70,000 Twitter followers?
Well, they're not.
That means nothing.
You're still being very rude.
These men are just drinking coffee.
They're allowed to have a mask off when they're drinking.
They weren't wearing coffee.
We weren't drinking distance.
No, no, no, no.
You know what's safer than a mask?
Social distancing.
That's more effective than the mask, so why don't you step back and leave the mask?
Oh, we're not here because you're fucking up on this train.
With this mask on.
Wait, it's possibly up.
We're having an issue here.
Mama, they get on here and start right away.
She's like, you bring police into it?
She says she's got 70 pounds.
Would you like me to call the police?
If you don't want any police, everybody needs to go back to their seat.
She said, I got 70 pounds.
I will call the police and let the police handle it.
Okay.
So then Ashley puts that up and I don't want to give it away, but people figure out who she is.
And she does what she usually does.
Oh, Ashley!
Is that you?
You fucking doxing bitch.
You Nazi bitch.
You doxed me.
I did not dox you.
Yes, you did, sweetheart.
No, I didn't.
I posted a video of you.
Huh?
I posted a video of you on a public train.
I don't even know who you are.
Well, everybody knows now, all your little Nazi friends.
You little conservative nag of friends.
This is not a good life, honey.
You are lowlife.
Thank you for all of you.
Can someone get the conductor?
Or I will.
Why?
Because you put a video of me?
You are round me.
You put a picture of me.
It's not white privilege.
It's liberal privilege.
You put the video of me.
That's idle.
5,000.
Yo, get away from me.
Get the fuck away from me.
Don't ever talk to me about it.
Get the fuck away from me.
Don't swear at me.
Get the fuck away from me.
Don't swear at me.
Get away from me.
You want to keep it.
Stephanie!
I think he's got to punch me.
Look at.
He's not even near you.
Look out.
He's not even near you.
All I'm saying is don't stop.
Get the fuck away.
She is really annoying and clearly nuts, right?
Yes.
Come on.
What's the problem?
What do you know that I don't?
I fucked her at a party once.
Now, that's the woman who helped put Max and John in prison.
That is Sandy Backham.
No.
Yep.
Following a bizarre trial that included testimony from activist Sandy Backham, who has worked with witches to cast hexes on Trump, two of the men acting in self-defense were sentenced to four years in prison as a result of the brief brawl.
What?
That's from Dan Bongino.
She is absolutely nuts.
She went to my talk, was filming everyone.
She was there in court.
And because we're in clown world, clowns have authority.
So she showed up in court and they mentioned the seance, right?
No, no worries about it.
Show the pic of the seance.
Let's, there it is.
And read what she says.
God, she's a fucking nut.
I hexed Trump and Kavanaugh.
Amazing, empowering night.
Outside screaming, Jesus, outside screaming.
Jesus freaks and Alex Jones ambush reporter.
What?
Outside screaming.
Oh, outside screaming, colon.
Jesus freaks and Alex Jones Ambush reporter.
No proud boys.
Guess they were in the tombs as promised by Gavin McInnis.
Oops.
You've been Nazi punked, New York.
I don't.
Does anyone understand that?
It's witch talk.
Now, I have the seance.
It's on YouTube.
It's on the tubes.
Actually, what?
Yeah, it's the next link.
Opti-dokey.
They start hexing as kids, too, and hope that they'll become infertile.
You think maybe she's a biased witness?
Should this woman be in a court of law?
Are those dick candles?
Oh, they sure are.
Dicks with nails within them.
Well, that's where they're talking about infertility.
They said they want to end the Trump bloodline.
So I guess this is...
Because Donald Trump and Donald Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump have already bred, right?
So those nails, I guess, were in the grandson's penises.
Oh, great.
Right?
If you want to end the bloodline, because Don's not having any more.
It's too late, right?
So you're watching people stick nails into the effigies of children's penises.
That's the left.
That is the depraved lunatic.
Those are little kids' penises right there on fire.
And a whole room of people chanting and clapping about how empowered they are.
Their side is burning children's penises.
Our side is breaking a window at the Capitol.
And just in case you had any doubts about how incredibly fucking insane this woman is, during Max and John's trial, they pulled up this picture.
And they said, with her cold, dead hand, I guess someone pried away their gun.
Look at that thing.
Looks like a dragon.
They said, is this you?
Trying to show the jury that this woman is biased.
I guess the burning children's penises didn't cut it.
And she goes, well, I recognize my Rolex.
And then she starts convulsing and having a self-induced panic attack where she goes, should I not have said that?
Should I have said that?
Should I not have said that?
Should I have said that?
And they're like, seems legit.
Should we put Max and John in prison?
Yes, they're Nazis.
Okay.
Anything else?
Yes.
I want a witch mayor.
Fucking Jesus.
Oh, I have one last story before we get to the mailbag.
I lost my last liberal friend.
And she was...
I gotta be really careful not to accidentally text her.
Is she still going?
Oh, okay.
So she wants my kids to be gay.
They're really big on your kids.
What the hell?
You'll notice that?
Like, what about your daughter?
If your daughter saw that?
Or what if your children were all raped?
Would you think it was cool then?
What if Trump raped your family?
I'd be mad at him.
He'd be dead.
So anyway, she's got a cute story about her kid and clinking a guy and saying cheers.
And she's only three.
All right.
I'm keeping it very light.
And she says, yeah, she's three.
We got to get her another one.
She's an only child.
And this woman's pretty old.
And I was like, yeah.
I go, and I'm being nice.
I'm like, three is great.
She's getting a personality now.
You're getting a taste of what she'll be like at 30.
And I go, babies are heroin.
And then I go, but it's not like they suck when they're older, too.
They get cool.
They have their hobbies and they're fun to hang out with.
Like my daughter and I can just watch a movie together and it's like I'm watching a movie with a pal.
And then I said, I wish I had five.
They're cute because they're your...
No, she, what does she say?
Oh, yeah.
I go, they're so fucking cute.
And she goes, she goes, I know, it's fucked up.
There's zero reasons to have another kid aside from they're cute.
Now, this is when I'm starting to go, that's bothering me.
And then she goes, so then I go, no, there's more than cute.
They get their hobbies and stuff, and they're good to hang out with.
And then I go, look, it's why we're here to make kids.
And she goes, not anymore.
All right.
Now I'm getting annoyed.
I'm trying to keep it light.
I only have one liberal friend left.
And so I'm like, well, and then I'm trying to be, I'm trying to tread light.
And I go, I wish I had five.
They're cute because they're yours and it's nature's plan.
And I go, what do you mean you don't want kids anymore?
You think we're in the movie Escape from New York?
And blah, blah, blah.
And then I go, it's all about having kids, and she goes, Some people can't have kids.
Are they not supposed to be alive?
That's poppycock.
This woman, by the way, is 10 years younger than me.
So I'm getting lectured by a 40-year-old.
And I try to change the subject, and I go, Are you getting ducking a lot every time you want to type fucking?
You know, like, let's get away from this because I know where it's going.
And I, and then I, I've heard this argument before.
I say, we're only here for propagation, right?
And then they go, what about women that are infertile?
Are they not women?
And I go, oh, of course they're women, but it's very unfortunate, which is why they cry themselves to sleep at night, right?
And then I go, your success is defined by how many kids you have.
Now, I know you have some woman in the hood who has 13 kids that she doesn't pay attention to you.
We're not talking with that, obviously.
We're talking within our little world, middle class, I guess you'd call it.
And that's what set her off because I think she's old and she has an only child and she realizes you're not going to have more.
So now it became acrimonious.
And that was, I was drinking, and I may have had a nose beer or two.
And the problem with saying something like that is you're saying that that person's unsuccessful, right?
And then I talked about Chelsea Peretti and blah, blah, blah.
And then I said, like, that's what's unfortunate about gays.
They can't breed.
And she goes, and I go, even Chelsea Peretti, like, she's lonely.
She can adopt a kid.
And she goes, the gay comment is annoying and it proves my point.
Where did I say the gay comment?
Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
I was saying that gays are like vegetarian lions.
They're just broken.
If you found out a lion only eats vegetables, you wouldn't want to hurt it.
You just go, that's unfortunate.
That's not the way it's supposed to go.
Same with an albino.
Albinos are great, but like you're sensitive to the sun and you look very weird and you wouldn't want your kid to be an albino.
If your kid was an albino, you go, oh, well, if your kid was a vegetarian lion, you'd get over it, right?
And she got really mad about the gay thing.
And she goes, the gay comment is annoying and proves my point entirely.
If procreating is the only point, then there'd be no gay people.
Gay people is Earth's way of course correcting that our species survive, not the opposite.
What are you?
18?
She said that to you?
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I guess they keep our population down?
Yeah, sure.
I go, gays are 1% of the population.
They don't correct shit.
They're albinos.
Just a weird birth defect.
No biggie, though.
I'd be sad if my son was an albino, but I get over it.
It's the cleft lip of sexuality.
I said, nature makes all kinds of silly accidents.
Nature's goal, however, is that each species propagates.
If they don't, something's wrong.
The dodo bird was not meant to be.
It's not coming to the Olympics.
And then this is where we lose it.
My truest wish for you is that at least one of your children is gay, and not the uncomplicated kind either.
I go, that's so petty and cruel.
Amber Tamblin said the same thing.
She also said, I won't include that.
I want my kids to have kids.
I hang out with fags all the time.
What you say, whether you believe it as fact or not, is fucking hurtful.
And you wouldn't understand how to have empathy if it didn't affect you personally.
What?
This is like some child telling me the only ways I can feel empathy.
Like knowing about someone's empathy, you can't get much deeper than that.
You don't know how to love.
And then I said, fuck you for bringing my kids into a philosophical discussion.
You're a cunt.
You're a horrible cunt.
Gays are literally not normal.
Look up normal in the dictionary.
My kids are left-handed.
It's a minor inconvenience.
It's not beautiful.
God didn't make it so in order for the species to survive.
It's harder to find baseball gloves.
Homosexuality is a crazy, big exaggeration of that.
I go, you just wish that one of my kids grew up very different from everyone around them in order to teach me a lesson about some kind of perceived bigotry you must know deep down I don't have.
I don't wish your child to be anything but fulfilled.
Fuck you, you horrible fucking cunt.
I consider being gay a good thing, so you're welcome.
And then she goes, you're so exactly like the thing you hate.
It's so obvious and boring and stunted at this point.
And then I go, okay, before we end this 20-year relationship, like the children of single mothers, gays are born with a severe disadvantage.
They can't procreate.
They have a high suicide rate.
They have disproportionately drug addiction problems.
I don't believe it's from homophobia because we see the same problems in San Francisco and New York.
You know I like gays.
You know I'd continue to love my kids unconditionally if they were gay.
Wanting them to be inconvenienced in order to teach me a lesson is a friendship ender.
Let's just be clear before we cut the cord.
You're patronizing, blah, blah, blah.
And then she ends it with, this is the end of the friendship.
The only reason that Proud Boys became, oh yeah, she goes, you're just, wait, wait, you're mad and you have a bruised ego because of vice.
And that's why you started the Proud Boys.
And because you're known as the Vice Guy.
I'm like, people, very few people know me as the Vice Guy.
For better for worse, I'm known as the Proud Boys guy.
And she goes, the only reason Proud Boys became your identity is because you didn't have anywhere else to put the rage you felt from leaving Vice.
Your entire movement is founded on feeling embarrassed.
Like, I was done with Vice around my wedding, around 05, 06.
07 was all the paperwork.
And the day 08 started, I was gone.
So that's 05.
Proud Boy started in 2015.
So that was 10 years of just this rage with nowhere to put it.
And then finally, finally, 10 years of carrying this bundle of faggots on my back, like the Led Zeppelin album cover.
I can plonk it in a bucket and go, oh, my embarrassed rage finally has a home.
Like, I don't get how people purport to know so much about other people.
You know?
And I mean, I could have said a million petty things about how she's infertile now because she waited too long and she fucked up and blah, blah, blah.
But that's not interesting.
That's petty.
So we're done.
And the real question is, can you be friends with liberals?
Can you be friends with women?
I mean, Jimmy the bartender is a liberal, but he never gets into my, tries to get into my soul and tell me how I can have empathy.
Another thing she said, too, was, you haven't evolved since 2007 when I was 37 or whatever.
And I'm like, yeah, that sounds about right.
You're supposed to change your opinions every couple of years or something?
Well, you should change a few of them, but as far as like your personality and what you believe, I've been unapologetically offensive my entire adult life.
I think you think of your dad when he's 37 and your dad when he's 50.
You don't want him to become like some hippie all of a sudden.
You need a stable dad.
You want to be sort of locked in.
For the most part, yeah.
I lost a liberal friend that I didn't even know.
They hated me, you know, because I post Trump stuff, I guess.
And they just assumed I hate people on welfare.
I'm like, I don't hate them.
I just don't think it's really good for them.
I'm so tired of this perceived bigotry.
Yeah.
And this is what she hits me with.
She's like, you're so cool.
You think it's so awesome, but you've never had a license, an apartment, or whatever, and you lived off your grandparents all your life.
And then you hate people that live off the government.
I was like, I don't hate people who live off the government.
I just think it, one, it doesn't help them.
And two, it gives losers an easy way to try to insult them.
Wait, do you have a license and an apartment?
I know.
I told her that.
I was like, I got a career, an apartment, not a fag zone.
And I don't have a car, but I do have a license to ill.
New Yorkers don't have cars.
And then she said, right.
And then she said, oh, LOL, last time I checked in on you, which is like years ago, you didn't have any of those things.
I was like, do some research before you're going to be aggressive and dumb.
It really is strange, this like exodus, the lefty exodus from anyone who doesn't hate Trump.
I'm not going to even say MAGA, but doesn't hate Trump.
And you'll see like someone loses a friend because they're dating a MAGA person.
Yeah.
We should start defrieing.
I mean, no, never mind.
But why is it always us that are okay?
When they're old folks' home down in the south, in the south, in Florida, they'll have friends that stop talking to them.
Like, this isn't just us.
This is a national divorce.
And we're not divorcing them.
They're divorcing us.
And it's based on a perception of who we are, not who we really are.
That's the craziest part.
Like that dude I was telling you about the other day on the show, who was telling me about this, these guys who have a podcast in Harlem, two of his students, and it's really good.
And I should just open.
And I'm like, sure it is.
I love that.
What do you think?
I love that.
Wait.
Yeah.
And then would you say, oh, Blacks can press the buttons and make this?
Ain't no way no Negro can do no podcast.
I have a friend.
Or even when the shit was really hitting the fan when I first moved to the suburbs, and this woman calls my wife and says, I think it's terrible what they're doing to you.
And the media and everything, it's ridiculous, harassing your family.
I want to come by and just bring you a cup of tea or something.
Or, I don't know, a piece of cake, some shit.
And my wife goes, that would mean a lot.
Thank you.
And the woman goes, but I'm Jewish.
Sorry, I just ruined it.
She goes, but I'm Jewish.
Is that okay?
Are you out of your fucking mind calling me here?
You're what?
My house is a Jew-free zone, bitch.
Like, who is this guy that they make us out to be?
My girlfriend, her friend was like, you know, done with her for a while, but she saw her friend that divorced her posted like, okay, I literally can't tolerate this anymore.
What's happening at the Capitol is unforgivable.
I'm done.
And it's like, all of a sudden, you're pro-government buildings.
Like, she was for BLM burning the whole fucking place down.
That's now she's like, that building, though, that's.
They burnt DC down.
And also, they burnt that historic church.
Right.
Remember?
Yeah, right across the window.
Fucking Jesus.
Yeah, they hate that shit.
But all of a sudden.
Anyway, it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore.
It's like being Amish and then you realize, no, I don't want to be Amish anymore.
And you realize that the Amish people are going to say, well, fuck you.
And you go, yeah, I get it.
Bye.
I think it's silly to ride around in a carriage all day.
But it is confusing how vitriolic they get.
And you'll notice, and I talk to a lot of people about this, when they're on their little message boards and the Facebooks, all the things I'm banned from, they always tippy-toe our side.
And they're like, yeah, it was pretty egregious, the Capitol, but I can see how a lot of Americans, especially with all the restrictions and the rioting, I can see how they had had enough, maybe.
And they're like, fuck you, you're dead to me.
Okay, sorry.
Bodweisa.
All right, let's hit the fucking mail B. Riot, shut up, you don't have a dead.
Let's turn our eyes together, Mail B. Let me touch it.
No name.
It says in big letters.
This is a course from Mike Gingersnips.
I go to University of Ontario and will certainly be severely punished for watching your show.
Nice free country we live in.
Or free continent, including Canada.
I want to ask your opinion on a situation I faced a while ago.
I was out with my girlfriend and we saw what looked like people going through a house with flashlights.
Possible BNE.
We weren't sure, but felt it'd be a good idea to call the police, but couldn't as we face fines up to $10,000 for breaking the lockdown rules.
Do you think that other people have faced similar situations?
What should I do in the future?
Huh.
Sounds like a young guy.
Anonymous tip?
Yeah, can't you call anonymously?
Can't you?
I guess there's no payphones anymore, right?
And they can trace your call.
Can't you block your sender?
Should be able to.
Yeah.
Or you could go in there and handle it yourself.
I don't know.
That's a really fucked up thing.
$10,000.
Thanks a lot, COVID rules.
Gav, can you talk about how people started to believe in voting again with Donald Trump?
And now after election fraud proves to be real and people can get away with it, people think it will be useless in the future.
I mean, that is what evil wants.
Yeah, we're here, dude.
That's what yesterday was about.
It was about fuck this place.
Because if elections don't work once, why would they work the next time?
Oh, we had a rigged election this time, but it's going to correct itself with Biden and Harris.
They're going to fix it and make sure that Republicans can have a fair election and win in four years.
So it's a one-way ticket to Zimbabwe, really.
They want people to not believe in The fair process of voting.
I don't.
But it just seems to go back and forth.
Democrats think Republicans stole the election with Trump, and then they were like, Yeah, but we have evidence.
It makes me think of a theory that the Democrats struck a deal for 2016 just in case the votes didn't guarantee their win.
They made a deal with Russia to make sure Hillary Clinton won.
Then maybe the Democrats looked weak to the Russians or made the Russians mad so the Russians flipped it and made Trump win.
So that's where the Democrats got the Russian hoax idea because it was their idea in the first place that backfired.
Is the big picture that we never know when the election product is going on, no matter who wins?
Yes, my dear.
That is exactly.
But I think this was unprecedented fraud, and I think we have an unprecedented loss of confidence in the voting system from the American people.
I think it was intentionally blatant to be like, F you.
Everything is a middle finger.
Like Dave Smith was saying, everything in media is a middle finger to the right-wingers.
They're like, yeah, we back BLM.
We give them money.
We let them get away with all this stuff.
And we're going to teach your kids tranny stuff.
We're going to put on commercials.
Everything's a fuck you.
Yeah, I think that's a good take.
And we see this with prisoners when it's time for their probation and they're taking, say, anger management.
You go, all right, well, there must be a lot of things about meditation and counting to 10.
And they just bully them and they teach them about Black Lives Matter and white privilege.
And even though most of the people in these classes are fucking black and Hispanic, or Maddie's fucking class where he has to draw pictures of his son and his motorcycle.
Like, it's just bullying.
It's the revenge of the weak.
Dear Mr. Gavin and Senior Touchy Facey Pissy Boy.
I don't know who that is.
Yesterday I planned to ask about the skiing story that you admitted due to the absolute assholey of the Vermont liquor distributors.
After the DC riot mandate was enacted, I pivoted to the emotional response that I experienced from watching the death of Ashley Babbitt.
Anyways, please tell us about your sweet experience on the slopes with your firstborn.
Oh, I didn't finish that story.
That was it.
I knew there was a hole in the plot.
Stop me if you've heard this, though.
Okay.
So I want to go down to the very, I want to go to the top of the mountain.
And that's a hard lift to get to.
You got to go up one and then across.
So we get there, and we're down in an area we can't really, we have to walk really high to get out of now.
We're in a little pit where the bottom of the lift is.
This is at Stowe.
And I say to the guy, is it black diamonds up there?
Is there any blues at all?
Because I'm with my daughter, who's a spaz.
I mean, she's not a spazz.
She hasn't really taken to skiing.
She's still in the snowplow phase.
So he goes, yeah, the blues are all close.
Wait, that might be it.
The goat?
No.
Is that Stow?
Yeah, but it's called the goat, this trail.
Double Diamond.
No, it wasn't Double Diamond, I don't think.
Well, this area, this one part was.
But anyway, he goes, yeah, I mean, it was my first black.
And then my buddy, the scouser, is like, it's going to be all right.
I'm like, I don't know, man.
My daughter's sensitive.
And I don't want to fucking petrify her so she never wants to come skiing again.
You know, you want to incrementally let them enjoy it so they get better and better.
You don't want to fucking make them smoke a carton of cigarettes on their first day.
So he goes, it'll be all right.
So we're drive, we're in the, we're on the chairlift and I'm kind of quiet the whole time because I just got a bad feeling about this.
So we get up there, fucking ice, it's the East Coast, and everyone leaves.
My son is a snowboarder, so no matter how bad the hill is, he can sort of just go on his knees and if it's sheer ice, just sort of go...
But the worry about an amateur on skis is they, skis go parallel and they start whipping down the ice and then they can't stop and they go into it, then they panic and go into a tree.
I'm actually getting kind of goose pimples.
It's scary.
Your legs could go completely apart.
You know what I mean?
She's not good at stopping.
And if you're not good at stopping, the worst case scenario is really fucking bad.
It's death.
So she's like, what the hell's going on?
I go, it's going to be okay.
It's going to be okay.
And the first part of the black was reasonable.
It's kind of like this.
It wasn't very mogly, but you could handle it, right?
And then there was breaks that would level out.
Then we get to a cliff.
And I just go, what the fuck?
It's, I'm not going to exaggerate.
It was this.
Wow.
Wait.
Holy shit.
It was about that.
Like this.
Like 15.
Like three degrees.
So, and there's pros there.
There was one woman there who had like the full suit and she was so old she had no helmet.
And you go, what do you mean, an old lady?
No, dude, I mean a woman who's been skiing since the 70s before anyone wore helmets.
She was probably like a ski bunny in the 80s.
And she's shitting her pants.
And her son is there.
He's like 20, 25.
He's got the full suit, the red suit with the racing stripes and everything.
Like they're fucking peros.
And she's like, I'm frozen.
I'm frozen.
He goes, come on, mom.
And then he looks at me like, can you believe this shit?
And I'm like, yes, I can.
Like, I could, I'm a pretty good skier.
I can handle it.
I'm not going to enjoy it.
It's going to be like...
So I go, you're going to have to go down on your ass.
But it was so intense that I'm scared of her on her ass.
Just flying down.
Flying and then disappearing into the forest.
Maybe losing, you might lose contact with the, you might just be in the air for a little bit.
It wasn't quite that steep, but it was all ice.
So then I come up with this plan where I give me your skis, give me your poles, and then I say, I'll go down, I'll start sliding down parallel to the hill, right?
Like, and then you sort of straddle my boot on your ass.
So you're like my left foot.
You're like a tumor on my left foot, my left ski boot.
So at least now you're not going to go whipping away.
So we try that.
I'm like, carrying all her shit too.
But then we start speeding up.
And it's going faster and faster.
And then I start losing control because I have this giant tumor on my foot.
And I start going backwards.
And then, whoosh, she's off.
So she's screaming her head off, crying.
And I'm just going, please hit the snow.
And eventually the ice sort of levels out.
But she was going as fast as like a super exciting toboggan.
Oh my God.
And That's it didn't get better.
So you'd get there, you'd turn a corner, and then there was the same thing again.
Whoa, look at this.
This is just like an hour.
That's probably where we were.
That's steep as hell, my dude.
I mean, there's only so many black diamonds that still.
It took us like 40 minutes to get to the bottom, and she's shaking.
At the bottom, I go, that was harrowing.
We just survived.
I st. Bernarded you down the hill.
And I just held her.
Like we had a moment.
It was actually kind of good for us, for our relationship, because we survived that.
I mean, I wasn't scared, but I was scared for her.
You know, when you're a father, you're watching your daughter ahead of you and you're just like, stop, stop.
And she doesn't listen to me when we ski because she gets panicked.
Holy shit.
It sucked.
And I was really mad at my buddy.
He was like, don't worry about it.
We're going to be okay.
I've done it yesterday.
It's fine.
You're getting great at that impression.
Does that sound like him?
Sounds like he's in the room.
Dang, now what you're going to do.
Yeah, with that percussive.
That D. His D's like shy.
It sounds like fireworks going on.
What are you doing?
Easy.
God, I hear ringing every time you say the letter D. I have fucking windows.
Okay.
Hey, guys, I found this awesome video on YouTube of Ryan's very impressive stand-up performance.
I figured you guys could watch the entire thing on the show for all the viewers to enjoy.
And the title is Ryan Rivera Stand-Up Comedy.
And it is at Imperial Guitar.
So let's turn that up.
I love your shoes.
Hey, guys.
So I got you, my dad, you know?
No, no, no.
Ryan, go back to the beginning, please.
I don't like you anymore.
And we won't need for you.
Starting right now, I don't like you.
Out of my heart's my Japanese.
I can't do this.
Yes, you have to.
Turn it up.
I can't do this.
Turn it up.
Can I walk away?
Yeah, yeah.
As long as the volumes make it loud.
I don't want to be here for this.
Come on, it's going to get me.
Oh, I can't fail.
I'm not going to offend you.
He's leaving the studio.
Oh, my dad, he's super duper Japanese.
When he talks to me, it's like this.
I'm going to give you a little sample.
It's like, Rayon, today we're going to the beach.
We saw Brada and Little Sista and, you know, playing, having fun.
I was like, yeah, I know what to do with the beach, dad.
I know what's going on.
But when he writes, he only knows how to write capital letters.
He never learned like lowercase, ever.
You know, because it's hard.
It's like 26 times 2.
I'm horrible at math.
You'll find that out too.
So he's like, we're going to go to the beach, blah, blah, blah.
He's very calm.
You know, you get into his voice, you're like, wow, I'm calm.
He writes you a letter in all caps, and it now goes from that calmness to, Rayan, today we're going to the beach.
Pak dings pollo brada, siska.
And I'm like, she's yelling at me.
Japanese yelling through a thing.
Okay.
Is anyone there?
Another thing about the race thing, I'm not very good at math.
The way you should have sold that joke is you scream at the top of your lungs.
You just did it kind of loud.
I don't know why I did any of this.
I can't hear it.
Turn it off.
I don't know if it's laziness.
That's kind of a wrong stereotype to put out there.
But we're good at subtracting things from the grocery store and adding to our pockets.
We're pretty good at that.
That's not nice.
Latinos.
They're not all like that.
You know, we change.
Anyway, we tan very well.
Anywho.
I love rice, you know, both sides.
Rice.
Latinos are very good at multiplying.
Have you noticed that?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's have a pretty good joke.
I guess.
For John Legozamo in the fucking 80s.
That's a few years ago.
All right, so that's fun.
You can check that out on your own.
Imperial Guitar is all one word.
Ryan Rivera stand-up comedy.
It's got square brackets with an I. That probably helps.
And it has 4,000 views.
You know, there was the time that ahead of you.
Here from the most recent Get Off My Lawn.
Yeah, all the comments are that.
I even said to whom it may concern, please delete this.
And then 71.
Please do that.
You poor bastard.
By Cabby McInnes.
On your feed, soldier.
Oh, this is the worst thing.
Thank you for that, sir.
That was a fun little thing.
Casey.
Oops.
I almost said his name.
Hey, Gavin.
Season three, episode 56.
Oh, no.
You gave Ryan shit for going to Disneyland to look at Star Wars characters, but in that same episode, you endorse a graphic novel, term embarrassed losers used for comic book.
And pretend boxing with fake Mike Tyson.
Video games.
Is GOML the new fag zone?
Have you dethroned Ryan?
Will the next movie commentary be you and Ryan watching Toy Story?
Okay, first of all, I was playing the video games because they're my kids.
We were playing their games together with them at Christmas.
And to be fair, it's a different experience.
I've never played a video game by myself in like 40 years, 30 years.
All right, so I'm off the hook with that.
And the graphic novel thing, maybe it's because I'm from Montreal and it's sort of a French thing, bon d'essine, but it's collections of drawings.
And you like art?
I would never, it's art.
I would never read fucking Superman or Wolverine.
Like, people commit suicide and have sex and worry about the future of their kids.
Like, it's not, this is not a comic book in the sense that there's anything comical about it.
Fuck, shit, shit, fuck.
Who can I blame?
I need someone to blame for this.
Who am I kidding?
I choked.
That's it.
My one chance and I blew it.
I can't face anyone.
I'm so mortified.
I just want to disappear forever.
Here comes the train.
And then a duplicate of himself says, jump.
This is after he botched in a really important interview.
I realize that graphic novels are a hard sell.
The term graphic novel is very new.
But anyway, fuck you.
The VP Kuckleding.
Isn't Pence supposed to be a Christian?
Christians are required to stand for truth, even when death is the consequence.
How do we fight back when our side stabs us in the back?
You got Trump elected.
What do you plan to do to fight back?
Because of you, I got married to a nine and awaiting my firstborn in February.
Love you, Gav.
Never stop fighting.
Ryan Zohomo.
Yes, I did get Trump elected, but you know what got him unelected?
What?
Him shitting on the Proud Boys.
He said, I disavow.
They're bad.
And people said, oh, you're not loyal.
Fuck you.
He should have said, if in fact they are white supremacists, then I disavow.
This is what he should have said in the first debate.
He should have said, of course, I denounce white nationalism.
Everyone does.
What about the Prow Boys?
I'm not an expert on the Prow Boys.
I think their leader is a black guy.
I don't know.
Are you sure they're white nationalists?
Is that what they say they are?
You sure you have the right guys?
That's it.
Yeah.
Easy peas.
Pence says people are looking at this as like some sort of light in the tunnel.
We'll have our day in Congress.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's watch the final video.
Diversity is our strength.
New York is a cosmopolitan city with all kinds of fantastic, wonderful creatures getting along.
I think it's a Beastie Boys song, actually, where they're like, black and yellow and brown and blue, rich and poor, we all get together on the subway, only in New York.
And you're like, really?
Do we really get along that great on public transportation?
I'm seeing a lot of badgering and anger.
But I'm open.
Let's see what you got, New York.
Call me another backet, nigga.
Call me another backet, nigga.
Call me another backet, bill.
Call me a backet.
Calm down, you bitch ass nigga.
Calm down, call me another back.
It's not a knife, nigga.
It's a turkey cleaver.
It off the fight.
Let's get to the right of the punchline.
That's built into the video.
It's not a knife, nigga.
It's a turkey cleaver.
Which might be legal, by the way.
And that might be a drop.
Anytime there's a knife.
No, not if there's a stutter in it.
Yeah.
How do we find that a rule?
All right, folks.
We'll see you on Monday.
Of course, we have unlimited programming from now until Monday.
What an insane week.
What a shit show for the media.
They really have fucked this country up badly.
The DNC is corrupt, but they always have been.
But the media allowing them to prosper and pushing their lies, trying to turn us into bigots and potential Timothy McVays.
They won.
They got the country and they're going to shit on it for at least the next four years.
And the best we can do is have a good laugh and mock them the entire time they do it.
And that doesn't mean we're giving up.
It just means that we've been locked up in this prison of Joe Biden.
So let's make the best of it and try to have some laughs.
And while we're at it, get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
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